The Offensive
An award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC.'The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode - a must listen for football fans' - The Guardian'Ultra-sharp satire' - GQThis podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mon, July 10, 2023
Introducing... BOOM Season Two | Out now
The creators of The Offensive are back with Season Two of their groundbreaking audio drama, BOOM. The first two episodes are out now, with new episodes released every Monday. Search 'BOOM' in your podcast app and subscribe. And if you want to get the whole series straightaway, for the first time ever you can purchase all six episodes ad-free for £6.99 with Acast+ here . Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E37 · Mon, May 29, 2023
Bonus: Episode 189 - Thanks for Listening
Behind the scenes for The Offensive finale. patreon.com/ashwoodcity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E36 · Mon, May 29, 2023
Episode 188 - The Final Finale: Part 2
The fate of the club and its staff hang in the balance as 5 years of mismanagement and greed come home to roost. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Joel Emery as Dan Watson Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Additional Voices: Natalie Green Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E35 · Mon, May 22, 2023
Episode 187 - The Final Finale: Part 1
Having been relegated from the Premier League, the season's proceedings come to a close. Including an outstanding Court of Appeal appearance for Sir Patrick Nolan and Ashwood City FC. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Additional Voices: Harry Attwell Lauren Ingram Karim Kronfli George Still Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E34 · Mon, May 15, 2023
Episode 186 - Full Time
Matchday 38 and just 90 minutes of football remain in the 2022/23 Premier League season as Ashwood City throw everything at survival. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Joel Emery as Dan Watson As themselves: Peter Drury Gary Lineker Alan Shearer Micah Richards Jules Breach Kate Mason Danny Jamieson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E33 · Mon, May 08, 2023
Episode 185 - Everton v Ashwood City
It's Matchday 37 in the Premier League and we join Peter Reynolds and Billy Richards for Everton v Ashwood City at Goodison Park. Voices by: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E32 · Mon, May 01, 2023
Episode 184 - Council Culture
Off the back of a 4-0 defeat to Manchester United, Ashwood City need a result on the pitch. Meanwhile, a decision by a local magistrate gives them a result off the pitch. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Additional Voices: Joel Emery Thomas Mitchells Jemma Revell Lauren Hall Adam Jarrell Michael Lyons Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E31 · Mon, April 24, 2023
Episode 183 - Hove is where the Heart is
As the financial cuts deepen, Ashwood City are barely keeping the league form together at the most important stage of the season. Chief-Executive Jess Tate and Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan finally discuss the fallout from administration. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E30 · Mon, April 17, 2023
Episode 182 - All The Manager's Men
In the grips of a brutal CVA, further cuts are made and this time the coaching staff are targeted. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall looks to offer a beleaguered Dan Watson all the help he can during a wobble in form as Patrick Nolan continues to distance himself from the crisis. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Joel Emery as Dan Watson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E29 · Mon, April 10, 2023
Episode 181 - Risen from the Zoom
Ashwood City travel to The Emirates Stadium on Easter Weekend. Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan informs Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh of his Zoom meeting with the local council. Meanwhile, Administrator Tom Beattie has completed his dreaded 'Black Folder'. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Natalie Green as Elaine Wright Chirstopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Additional Voices: Adam Jarrell Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E28 · Mon, April 03, 2023
Episode 180 - Uncivil War
Ashwood City clash with the local council over who's to blame for the collapse of the iBET stand. Meanwhile, Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan makes a momentous call on the club's future. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Matthew Malthouse as Tom Beattie Darcey Ferguson as Leanne Potter Natalie Green as Elaine Wright Additional Voices: Adam Jarrell Joel Emery Vanessa Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E27 · Mon, March 20, 2023
Episode 179 - The Stand Before Time
Ashwood City Football Club are hit by the news that the fabled iBET Stand has collapsed. The club hierarchy and local council clash over who's to blame. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Additional Voices: Thomas Mitchells Natalie Green Nalan Burgess Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E26 · Mon, March 13, 2023
Episode 178 - Stranger than Fantasy
As the football world reacts to the BBC's treatment of Gary Lineker, Ashwood City have a social media issue of their own Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Luke Stevenson as Gareth McAskill Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E25 · Mon, March 06, 2023
Episode 177 - The Great Escape
Stuck in traffic after the second leg of The Champions Fixture against PSG; Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate questions Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan about rumours surrounding the future of the football club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E24 · Mon, February 27, 2023
Episode 176 - Blind Tate
Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate spends her 'day off' visiting both her doctor and an old acquaintance, who may know more about the future of the club than Jess does. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Lauren Ingram as Fiona Weed Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E23 · Mon, February 20, 2023
Episode 175 - Nude Awakening
A day in the life of Ashwood City is interrupted by a protestor, who aims his fury at Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E22 · Mon, February 13, 2023
Episode 174 - Live and Let Liverpool
Liverpool FC are in town as Ashwood CIty play their first home game since the catastrophic transfer window. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Joel Emery as Dan Watson Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E21 · Mon, February 06, 2023
Episode 173 - London Calling
After a brutal transfer window, Sir Patrick Nolan heads to the City of London to seek new money from old friends. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Thomas Mitchells as Simon Napier-Fox Adam Jarrell as Chris Well Additional Voices: Joel Emery Nalan Burgess Jennifer Tierney Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E20 · Mon, January 30, 2023
Episode 172 - Deadline Day: Part 2
A seismic day in the history of Ashwood City Football Club has arrived as the severe financial crisis, internal disputes, player disharmony and firesale of key team members comes to a head on a tumultuous Deadline Day. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Additional voices by Darcey Ferguson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E19 · Mon, January 23, 2023
Episode 171 - Deadline Day: Part 1
The departure of Brazilian striker Kevin brings about yet more protests at The Credit Master Stadium. Despite a decent run of form in the league, the Ashwood CIty hierarchy find themselves locked in the offices, for their own safety. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E18 · Mon, January 16, 2023
Episode 170 - Woody's Roundup
Ashwood City Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall goes back to his roots on a scouting mission to recruit an up-and-coming player for the January transfer window. All voices by Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E17 · Mon, January 09, 2023
Episode 169 - Mixing Business with Pleasure (Beach)
Ashwood City take on SkyBet Championship side Blackpool in the Third Round of the FA Cup. Before the game, Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall takes Club Chairman Patrick Nolan to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E16 · Mon, January 02, 2023
Episode 168 - Super Trooper
A new year, and a new beginning for Ashwood City, as the second Dan Watson era gets underway with a visit from fellow Premier League strugglers Everton. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Ant McGinley as David Hall Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E15 · Mon, December 26, 2022
Episode 167 - The Christmas Special One V
Merry Christmas from all of us here at Ashwood City. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Ant McGinley as David Hall Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom / Chris Well Jemma Moore as Danielle Broom Additional Voices: Joel Emery Vanessa Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E14 · Mon, November 14, 2022
Episode 166 - The Damned Re-United: Part 2
As the Premier League fixtures wrap up before the World Cup break, Ashwood City owner Patrick Nolan is still trying to secure the services of Mauricio Pochettino. Meanwhile, the players await their international call-ups, and the club bids farewell to Chief Player Liaison Officer, Theo Clinton. The Offensive will return on Boxing Day 2022. For exclusive episodes between now and then – including a special World Cup bonus episode – subscribe to the Ashwood City Patreon for just $5 a month: www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity . Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Ant McGinley as David Hall Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis Clark Additional Voices: Darcey Ferguson Adam Jarrell Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E13 · Mon, November 07, 2022
Episode 165 - The Damned Re-United: Part 1
The World Cup break approaches and Ashwood City desperately needs a new manager to take the reins during the much needed downtime. Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh get to work with their array of scouting talent, Patrick however is distracted by an old acquaintance. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E12 · Mon, October 31, 2022
Episode 164 - Smit Happens
Unfortunate news regarding Head Coach Eric Van Smit forces the club to make a decision. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E11 · Mon, October 24, 2022
Episode 163 - Grand Pricks
Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E and Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall fly to Austin, Texas, to enjoy the US F1 Grand Prix. But the situation surrounding Club Doctor Rachel Webber provides an unwanted distraction from the day's events for Patrick Nolan. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E10 · Mon, October 17, 2022
Episode 162 - Universally Challenged
During a dull Premier League fixture away to Chelsea, Ashwood CIty Chairman Patrick Nolan is offered a role within His Majesty's Government that could potentially allow him to gain the respect he so desperately desires. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Hugh Chambers Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E9 · Mon, October 10, 2022
Episode 161 - Flaw and Order
Senior management at Ashwood City attend a pre-hearing for the legal clash with Arsenal Football Club, as the fallout from the final day of the 2021/22 season continues to engulf the club in financial and legal turmoil... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Karim Kronfli as Judge Gastrell Jennifer Tierney as Hannah Ingram Harry Attwell as Robert Granger Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E8 · Mon, October 03, 2022
Episode 160 - Name and Shame
For the first time in its history, the Ashwood City Stadium has changed its name courtesy of a new revenue stream secured by Chairman Patrick Nolan MBE. The fallout from this momentous chapter in the club's history is hostile, to say the least. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E7 · Mon, September 19, 2022
Episode 159 - Lever Pitch: Part Two
It's the day of the funeral for Queen Elizabeth II. In a momentous occasion for both the club and country, an opportunistic Patrick Nolan decides to showcase Dartley Park to a potential buyer. The Offensive will return after the International Break. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Thomas Mitchells as Simon Napier-Fox Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E6 · Mon, September 12, 2022
Episode 158 - Lever Pitch: Part One
It's a momentous day in Ashwood City's history as they travel to the Nou Camp to take on Barcelona in the UEFA Champions League... The historic occasion is somewhat spoiled by a deepening financial crisis at the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Additional Voices: Joel Emery Darcey Ferguson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E5 · Mon, September 05, 2022
Episode 157 - Toon Can Play At That Game
Ashwood City are the visitors at St James' Park in a must-win game for the Super Whites. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall & Kieran Broom John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E4 · Mon, August 29, 2022
Episode 156 - Deadline Day
League form has never been worse, their Head Coach has finally been charged by the police and a multitude of other crises emerge... Ashwood City are feeling the heat as Deadline Day approaches. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit Additional Voices: Nalan Burgess Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E3 · Mon, August 22, 2022
Episode 155 - A New Leaf
Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan and CEO Chris 'Woody' Woodall enjoy the facilities of Broadley Country Club. All is not as it seems, however, as Patrick confides in his Chief Executive. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E2 · Mon, August 15, 2022
Episode 154 - Apportunity Knocks
Ashwood staff are impressed with the delivery of a summer project by the new Ashwood City Chief Executive Officer. An envious Patrick Nolan sets out to undermine all the hard work done by Chris 'Woody' Woodall and the rest of the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S5 E1 · Mon, August 08, 2022
Episode 153 - 2022/2023 SEASON: The Nolan Era
Premier League football returns as Ashwood City host Fulham at Dartley Park. Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E is eager to kick off the new era with a bang, whilst newly appointed C.E.O Chris 'Woody' Woodall concentrates on cleaning the mess left by Head Coach Eric Van Smit's antics at the end of last season. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit Additional Voices: Joel Emery Kate Mason Luke Moore Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mon, June 27, 2022
Introducing... BOOM Season One | Out now
The makers of The Offensive are here to introduce you to their groundbreaking new drama, BOOM, starring Akie Kotabe, Sharon D. Clarke MBE and Omari Douglas. This is Episode 1, just search ‘BOOM’ wherever you get your podcasts to get all six episodes of Season One now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E35 · Mon, May 23, 2022
Episode 152 - Finale: Part 2
Ashwood City are leading 2-1 in a game they simply must win. Yet with just 15 minutes remaining they've been caught on the break with no one back to cover... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Ant McGinley as David Hall With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E34 · Mon, May 16, 2022
Episode 151 - Finale: Part 1
Ashwood City head into their final game of the 2021/22 season: a home tie against relegation battlers Leeds United. With a win Ashwood City would seal Champions League qualification for the first time in a generation. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Ant McGinley as David Hall Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E33 · Mon, May 09, 2022
Episode 150 - All Good Things Come To A Friend
Patrick Nolan MBE has secured full ownership of the club as Ashwood City thrash Norwich and set up a tantalising final pair of fixtures against Brighton and Leeds. The new takeover however has a final few tweaks to the personnel before completion. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Additional voices: Nalan Burgess Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E32 · Mon, May 02, 2022
Episode 149 - Bid Adieu
Anaheim Sports Group are finalising the sale of 55% of Ashwood City to Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan, making him the outright owner of the club. As well as Anaheim Sports Group, Manchester City are also in town as Ashwood look to remain in the race for Champions League qualification. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E31 · Mon, April 25, 2022
Episode 148 - Manic Room
After a demoralising defeat to Everton at Goodison Park, the Ashwood City juggernaut has stalled... But the headlines are dominated by an offer from Patrick Nolan to purchase the rest of the club and the news has hit the fanbase hard. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E30 · Mon, April 18, 2022
Episode 147 - Sun's Out, Funds Out
Chief Executive Patrick Nolan MBE is enjoying a well-earned break in the Seychelles. Little does he know that a seismic decision Stateside will cut his trip short. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E29 · Mon, April 11, 2022
Episode 146 - Force Mature
Ashwood City have rediscovered their form at the right time in the season. Next up, fellow sanctioned Premier League side Chelsea FC. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E28 · Mon, April 04, 2022
Episode 145 - Business As Unusual
Premier League football returns, as does a familiar face to Ashwood City Football Club... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, March 25, 2022
Introducing... Jackie the Ripper Season Two | Out Monday 28th March
From the creators of The Offensive. The chart-topping comedy drama retelling the Whitechapel murders returns for a second series. Search ‘Jackie the Ripper’ wherever you get your podcasts to catch up on season one now and follow @ JackieRipperPod on Twitter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E27 · Mon, March 21, 2022
Episode 144 - From Russia with Love
An unprecedented sanction has hit Ashwood City Football Club following the exposure of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's links to problematic Russian investment. With tight restrictions and panic setting in, Patrick must ensure he can get the UK government to ease the ruling. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E26 · Mon, March 14, 2022
Episode 143 - Anger Management
A humbling 3-0 defeat at West Ham prompts Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall to review the game in the analysis room. Interim Head Coaches Chris Well, David Hall and the entire first team squad are in attendance for the match review. Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Ant McGinley as David Hall Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Adam Jarrell as Chris Well Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E25 · Mon, March 07, 2022
Episode 142 - Deep Blue Sea
With global politics playing havoc with the stability of Ashwood City assets, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has his eye drawn to another Premier League club as Ashwood host Newcastle United at Dartley Park. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E24 · Mon, February 28, 2022
Episode 141 - The Special One(s)
After a humbling defeat to Burnley at Turf Moor, filling the vacant managerial role has become an absolute priority for the club. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall, Head of Communications Jess Tate and Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh disperse amongst European cities to approach their managerial targets. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E23 · Mon, February 21, 2022
Episode 140 - The Breakfast Club
In the early hours of the morning, Ashwood City Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall wakes to the news that club captain Kieran Broom has committed a public misdemeanour after being removed from a nightclub. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E22 · Mon, February 14, 2022
Episode 139 - Fool's Gold
Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is working closely with Amazon Prime Video to ensure that the next season of 'All or Nothing' covers Ashwood City Football Club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Nalan Burgess as Nina Bradshaw Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E21 · Mon, February 07, 2022
Episode 138 - The Wrong Man
A jaw dropping exit by Head Coach Sven Goran Eriksson in the closing stages of Deadline Day leaves Ashwood City in disarray. A long term managerial search is in the pipeline, but in the short term the club need to choose a man for the job. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Ant McGinley as David Hall Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E20 · Mon, January 31, 2022
Episode 137 - Deadline Day: Part 2
Deadline day has arrived and Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is chasing the highly controversial offer from Real Madrid for star forward Kevin; much to the dismay of Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E19 · Mon, January 24, 2022
Episode 136 - Deadline Day: Part 1
Ashwood City host a thrilling Premier League clash with Wolves as Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall field unwanted interest in Kevin from a European super club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Additional Voices: Joel Emery Joaquin Augusto Quinteros Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E18 · Mon, January 17, 2022
Episode 135 - (AF)CON AIR
As matchweek two of AFCON begins, Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall fly out to Cameroon to ensure high profile talent Christian Akuffo is being taken care of. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E17 · Mon, December 20, 2021
Episode 134 - The Christmas Special One IV
The Ashwood City hierarchy head to The Big Apple. Brazilian centre forward Kevin, however, is lost in New York. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E16 · Mon, December 13, 2021
Episode 133 - The Fairytale of New York
In the fallout from his recent public faux-pas, pressure is mounting on Ashwood City Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan as he attempts to evade the authorities. A visit to a local children's hospital, however, may have given him the inspiration he needs. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E15 · Mon, December 06, 2021
Episode 132 - Fools and Regulations
Amidst speculation of an incoming independent regulator, the Premier League summons its cohorts to launch a media offensive and counter the argument. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate Alex Marshall as Will Wright Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E14 · Mon, November 29, 2021
Episode 131 - Live by the Fraud, Die by the Fraud
Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has secured a massive sponsorship deal with a cryptocurrency marketplace that even involves an unprecedented £200m stadium naming-rights deal. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E13 · Mon, November 22, 2021
Episode 130 - It's Reigning Sven
The Premier League returns and the international break has caused havoc with Ashwood City's playing staff. Head Coach Sven-Goran Eriksson is determined however to field an unchanged side as they travel to Manchester City... much to the fury of Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E12 · Mon, November 08, 2021
Episode 129 - Soldier of Misfortune
Ashwood City take on Burnley at home in the final Dartley Park fixture before Remembrance Sunday. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan works closely with his communications team to ensure the memorial presentation is befitting of those who sacrificed their lives. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Thomas Mitchells Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E11 · Mon, November 01, 2021
Episode 128 - I Still Know What You Did This Summer
To address the ongoing concerns over the legitimacy of the summer purchases; Chief Exectutive Patrick Nolan is heading out to ASG Headquarters in Los Angeles. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jessica Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Vanessa Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E10 · Wed, October 27, 2021
The Making of The Offensive
To celebrate Acast's Audio Fiction Week, take a peek behind the curtain of Ashwood City with this special behind-the-scenes look at the making of episode 126 of The Offensive. Featuring creators Joel Emery and Adam Jarrell as well as Paul Waggott (Patrick Nolan) and Helena Doughty (Jess Tate). Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E9 · Mon, October 25, 2021
Episode 127 - I Know What You Did This Summer
Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has questions to answer from not only the Premier League but also the ownership of his own club. With the summer acquisitions under scrutiny; the race to clean up their act intensifies, as speculation over an independent regulator heightens. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E8 · Mon, October 18, 2021
Episode 126 - Extreme Takeover
The elite members of the Premier League react with fury at the takeover of Newcastle United Football Club. As crisis talks begin between clubs and league, Ashwood City are unexpectedly asked along to attend the high level meeting. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E7 · Mon, October 04, 2021
Episode 125 - Driving Miss Diesel
Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall join one another on the road for back-to-back Premier League away games at Leeds United and Watford. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E6 · Mon, September 27, 2021
Episode 124 - See a Man About a Dog
As Ashwood City's form improves, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall secures a new First Team Coach to work under Head Coach Sven-Goran Eriksson. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Ant McGinley as David Hall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E5 · Mon, September 20, 2021
Episode 123 - Repo Man
The feel-good factor around the club is spilling over into the private life of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan. Once besieged by abuse and torment, it would seem the fans have finally been appeased... Those popular new acquisitions however are coming at a costly price. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 Enull · Mon, September 13, 2021
Episode 122 - Fabtastic Beasts and Where To Find Them
Ashwood City arrive in Liverpool on the eve of their match with the 2020 PL Champions. With new signings Vassos, Luna and Kevin travelling in the matchday squad, expectations are high... But for Chief Player Liaison Officer Theo Clinton the matchweek is much more complicated. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E3 · Mon, August 30, 2021
Episode 121 – Deadline Day: Part 2
The English transfer window is closing fast and Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is struggling under the pressure; during the once in a lifetime window for Ashwood City. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Amina Koroma as Dofi Akuffo Additional Voices: Joaquin Augusto Quinteros Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E2 · Mon, August 23, 2021
Episode 120 - Deadline Day: Part 1
The opportunity to improve the Ashwood City squad for the 2021/22 Premier League season is slipping away. An old ally of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan offers an unlawful alternative to their transfer woes. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S4 E1 · Mon, August 16, 2021
2021/22 SEASON: Window Shopping
The Premier League returns and the new power structure of Ashwood City has Patrick Nolan at the helm. Lack of activity in the transfer window has provoked a strong backlash from the fanbase, leading to widespread vandalism. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Christopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Additional Voices: Danny Jamieson Jonny Blain Erika Marchant Ant McGinley John Walker Marcus Speller Jim Campbell Pete Donaldson Natalie Green Esmonde Cole Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E31 · Mon, May 24, 2021
Episode 118 - Finale: Part 2
It's the final matchweek of the Premier League season and Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan finds himself with a new level of power. The dramatic events of the week before have not been taken lightly by Anaheim Sports Group as Patrick takes to The University of Ashwood to reflect on his recent endeavours. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms Adam Alexander as Adam Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Nalan Burgess Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E30 · Mon, May 17, 2021
Episode 117 - Finale: Part 1
Wembley Stadium plays host to the FA Cup Final between Chelsea and Ashwood City. As kick-off looms, the historic purchase of 30% of the club on behalf of the Ashwood City Supporters' Trust comes to completion. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan Adam Alexander as Adam Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E29 · Mon, May 10, 2021
Episode 116 - Game Over
With a new regime being installed at the club and an FA Cup final on the way, acting Chief-Executive Jess Tate continues to assist the transition. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan Luke Stevenson as Gareth McAskill John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E28 · Mon, May 03, 2021
Episode 115 - The End of an Error
The hierarchy of Ashwood City is turned on its head as the Supporters Trust gain significant progress due to some help from an old friend. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan Adam Alexander as Adam Tate Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Additional Voices: Joel Emery Luke Stevenson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E27 · Mon, April 26, 2021
Episode 114 - The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Off the back of a huge FA Cup Semi-Final appearance for Ashwood City; European football is thrown into chaos as The Super League announce their arrival on the world stage. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan Adam Alexander as Adam Tate Additional Voices: Joel Emery Nalan Burgess Luke Stevenson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E26 · Mon, April 19, 2021
Episode 113 - The Fans Doth Protest Too Much
Wembley Stadium plays host to Leicester City v Ashwood City in the FA Cup Semi-Final. A government approved test event has allocated seats for 4,000 supporters inside the 90,000 seater. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan Kelly Somers as Herself Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E25 · Mon, April 12, 2021
Episode 112 - Simms City: Part 2
Ashwood City Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is losing his grip on his position at the club as Anaheim Sports Group have accepted the offer from Harvey Simms. With the deal underway, all Patrick has to work with is a name... 'Bohai'. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Esmonde Cole as KFC Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E24 · Mon, April 05, 2021
Episode 111 - Simms City: Part 1
Ashwood City face Manchester City in matchweek 30 of the Premier League. As the domestic season looks to be a fairly quiet one on the pitch for the Kent side; off the pitch the bidding process is in disarray as Harvey Simms and the Ashwood City Supporters' Trust turn up the pressure on Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Rhys Tees as Frank Finnan Additional Voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery Music featured: 'Gravitated' by Edgar Hopp With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E23 · Mon, March 22, 2021
Episode 110 - The Ground of Music
Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan, Head of Communications Jess Tate and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall enlist the help of the Ashwood City faithful to try and lift morale and improve the club's dreadful home form. Meanwhile, The Ashwood City Supporters' Trust gains momentum. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Additional Voices: Jennifer Tierney Joel Emery Rhys Tees Adam Alexander Episode written by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E22 · Mon, March 15, 2021
Episode 109 - Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged
The long-awaited tribunal finally sees Kyle Francis-Clarke and The Professional Footballers' Association take on Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh of Ashwood City Football Club. Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Jennifer Tierney as Hannah Ingram QC Esmonde Cole as KFC Thomas Mitchells as Judge Philip Gray Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E21 · Mon, March 08, 2021
Episode 108 - His Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's fantasy football team is suffering following his failure to pick up on insider knowledge from Ashwood City. His resolve is tested further as Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh uncovers the legal threat posed by the impending litigation from injured forward Kyle Francis-Clarke. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Esmonde Cole as KFC Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices: Danny Jamieson Nalan Burgess Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E20 · Mon, March 01, 2021
Episode 107 - Fight Club
A brawl amongst the playing and coaching staff of Ashwood City and Tottenham Hotspur takes place post-match at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is desperate not only to partake in the Skywalk with Daniel Levy but also to take centre stage in diffusing the tension. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E19 · Mon, February 22, 2021
Episode 106 - Zoom For Improvement
Coronavirus has struck down the Ashwood City hierarchy as Patrick Nolan, Jess Tate, Alex Morrison and Chris 'Woody' Woodall are all forced into isolation. As the PFA case of Kyle Francis-Clarke begins, Patrick takes on local small businesses and Harvey Simms... all while battling severe COVID symptoms. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional voices by Rachel Teate Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E18 · Mon, February 15, 2021
Episode 105 - Problem Child
A dramatic 1-0 victory over Arsenal at Dartley Park has sparked outrage among the football community as the use of a ballboy - prohibited under COVID-19 protocol - was instrumental in the winning goal. To add to Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's woes; Dr. Rachel Webber is taking action against the medical impropriety and mishandling of injured star KFC by Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Additional voices by: Luke Stevenson Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E17 · Mon, February 08, 2021
Episode 104 - Foul Play
Ashwood City are in midweek Premier League action against Manchester United. Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan however is at the whim of owners Anaheim Sports Group and is tasked with hosting prospective buyer and potential successor Harvey Simms. With the Sky Sports' cameras awaiting the big game and a glimpse of Harvey; Patrick has a plan... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Ramône Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices by Jonny Blain Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E16 · Mon, February 01, 2021
Episode 103 - Deadline Day: Part 2
On the final day of the January Transfer Window news comes to light that recent signing Kelvin Reid has had intimate relations with the wife of club veteran; Marco Nipic. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Ray Strasser-King as Kelvin Reid John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Alberto Iriarte as Beñat 'Benny' Bengoetxea Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E15 · Mon, January 25, 2021
Episode 102 - Deadline Day: Part 1
Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Head of Communications Jess Tate require negative COVID-19 test results ahead of Deadline Day at Ashwood City Football Club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Additional Voices: Rachel Teate Thomas Mitchells Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Episode directed by: Helena Doughty & Paul Waggott Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E14 · Mon, January 18, 2021
Episode 101 - Who Swears Wins
The new regime under Sven-Göran Eriksson has provided a much needed impetus for Ashwood City Football Club. The turn of fortunes even reflects onto the Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan as he secures a rare appearance on a dedicated Ashwood supporters' podcast feed. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Sven-Goran Eriksson as Himself Alberto Iriarte as Beñat 'Benny' Bengoetxea Additional Voices: Nalan Burgess Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E13 · Mon, December 21, 2020
Episode 100 - The Christmas Special One III
Ashwood City Football Club look to complete the signing of Sven-Goran Eriksson as Head Coach. In Loving Memory of beautiful Lucinda. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Joel Emery Directed by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E12 · Mon, December 14, 2020
Episode 099 - Big Man On Campus
The Tottenham victory seals Ashwood City's 4-straight league win under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. Former player and businessman, now turned Ashwood City agitator; Harvey Simms has enacted shareholder protocol to demand a meeting between Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and the highly regarded Jansen... Meanwhile in Scandinavia; Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall attempts to recruit his successor. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E11 · Mon, December 07, 2020
Episode 098 - Gone With The Wind
On a fiercely windy day in Kent, Ashwood City host Tottenham Hotspur after a run of 3-straight victories under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. With Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Head of Communications Jess Tate in attendance; Croatian defender Dario Babic suffers a dangerous injury on the field. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional Voices: Joel Emery Adam Jarrell Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E10 · Mon, November 30, 2020
Episode 097 - The Ashwoodian Candidate
Chief Player Liaison Officer Theo Clinton has unexpectedly been exposed as the individual behind the Ashwood City email hacks. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan looks to resolve, understand and ultimately exploit his motives. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Rachel Teate as Dame Georgina Pitt Additional Voices: Joel Emery Nalan Burgess Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E9 · Mon, November 23, 2020
Episode 096 - The Imitation Game
The international break has concluded and Premier League action returns. Ashwood City travel to Newcastle United as Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is looking to recover from a difficult couple of weeks following his disastrous appearance in Prague... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Additional Voices: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E8 · Mon, November 09, 2020
Episode 095 - And The Winner Is...
Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is under intense pressure as a potential rival has emerged for the much coveted 30% ownership of Ashwood City Football Club. His frustrations and ego are relieved however, with the news of a career achievement recognition from the footballing community. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Ramone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey Simms Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Rachel Teate as Dame Georgina Pitt Additional Voices: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E7 · Mon, November 02, 2020
Episode 094 - Patrick or Treat
Following an away defeat to Wolverhampton Wanderers, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall finds himself as an unwilling chauffeur to Head of Communications Jess Tate, as they make their way to the Ashwood City Halloween Party. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Rachel Teate as Dame Georgina Pitt Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E6 · Mon, October 26, 2020
Episode 093 - Dirty Deeds
Ashwood City take on Leeds United in the first league meeting between the two since 2004. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan has had to make slight adjustments to Dartley Park, in order to welcome the Premier League newcomers. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices Joel Emery Lynnette Shaw Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E5 · Mon, October 19, 2020
Episode 092 - Demolition Man
Fresh from the International Break as well as the possibility of 'Project Big Picture', Patrick Nolan embarks on his own project as he attempts to put the final nail in the coffin of the Ashwood City Youth Academy, albeit with a little help from some friends in low places. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E4 · Mon, October 05, 2020
Episode 091 - The Aristotwats
Following the decision to publish false positive COVID-19 test results for Kieran Broom and Kyle Francis-Clarke ahead of England duty; Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is now dealing with the fallout. Determined to get his fixture pile-up resolved, Patrick reaches out to an old ally of the club in an effort to force the hand of the football powers-that-be. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Rachel Teate as Dame Georgina Pitt Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E3 · Mon, September 28, 2020
Episode 090 - Forget Me Yacht
For matchweek three of the Premier League; Ashwood City take their perfect record to Craven Cottage. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan, however, have other social commitments. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E2 · Mon, September 21, 2020
Episode 089 - Whistle While You Work
Following a bright start to the league campaign, Ashwood City now face Portsmouth in the second round of the Carabao Cup. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall is charged with the task of securing an ambitious feeder club for Ashwood City. Patrick and Jess however are distracted by the latest new recruit... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Additional Voices Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 E1 · Mon, September 14, 2020
2020/21 SEASON: House of Cards
Premier League football returns as Ashwood City take on Crystal Palace in Matchweek 1 of the new season. With COVID-19 restrictions in place; Dartley Park remains closed to the fans. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan's endeavours to increase matchday revenue for the club lead him to a fan engagement initiative using cardboard cutout selfies to attend the fixture. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Rachel Teate as Karen Lucinda Shaw as Christine Williams Matt Jansen as himself Additional Voices Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery With thanks to: The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E52 · Mon, August 17, 2020
Episode 087 - A Star Is Torn
It's the Semi-Final of the Europa League. Ashwood City take on FC Internazionale as the isolated tournament in Germany moves ever-closer to its climax. Once again, however, the mood in the camp is delicately poised to see the loan saga of Christian Akuffo resolved. Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis Clark Acushla-Tara Cupe as Dr Rachel Webber Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Isi Adeola as Christian Akuffo David Letemple Leroy as Antoine Additional voices Joel Emery Casting Director: Kirsty Gillmore Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E51 · Mon, August 10, 2020
Episode 086 - Bring Him Home
Ashwood's first leg in the round of 16 ended 1-0 to Ashwood in Wolfsburg back in March. Now, along with fellow UEFA Europa League competitors, they find themselves vying for a place in the Quarter Final held in Germany under strict quarantine conditions. Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis-Clarke Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E50 · Mon, June 08, 2020
Episode 085 - Finale: Part 2
Premier League survival hangs in the balance as Ashwood City take on Manchester United in the final game of the season. The Offensive will return at the start of the 2020/2021 season. Thank you for your continued support. Visit ashwoodcity.com and patreon.com/ashwoodcity for more. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis-Clarke Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Peter Drury as Himself Additional Voices: Joel Emery Ant McGinley Owen Maers Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery "Gravitated" by Edgar Hopp WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E49 · Mon, June 01, 2020
Episode 084 - Finale: Part 1
It's the final week of the season, and the battle for Premier League survival hits boiling point as Ashwood City travel to Villa Park. Can The Superwhites continue their run of good form under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen in their penultimate game of the season? Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes Additional Voices: Jo Price Joel Emery Lucinda Shaw Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E48 · Mon, May 25, 2020
Episode 083 - Me, Myself and Fly
Ashwood City travel to Goodison Park to take on Everton in one of the final games of the season. Off the pitch, however, things turn sour as Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall is forced to vacate his seat, due to the ongoing issues with Rob Jefferson. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E47 · Mon, May 18, 2020
Episode 082 - Kyle and Error
Ashwood City take on Tottenham Hotspur under new Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. Meanwhile, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall explore their options for life in The Championship without in-form prospect Kyle Francis-Clarke. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Esmonde Cole as KFC Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional Voices: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E46 · Mon, May 11, 2020
Episode 081 - Fever Pitch
The first match of the season in the post-Van Smit era sees fellow Premier League strugglers West Ham United visit Dartley Park. Will the 'New Manager Bounce' materialise and allow Ashwood City to gain three valuable points? Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Joel Emery as Dan Watson Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson Lucinda Shaw as Christine Williams Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes Matt Jansen as Himself Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E45 · Mon, May 04, 2020
Episode 080 - Afscheid, Eric
Following an away defeat to Brighton and Hove Albion, the Ashwood hierarchy put the wheels into motion to try and turn the club's fortunes around. Negotiations with former coach Dan Watson however, hit a bit of a roadblock in the form of new representation for the fan-favourite. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Joel Emery as Dan Watson Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E44 · Mon, April 27, 2020
Episode 079 - I'd Do Anything
As the deal to bring home 'The Prodigal Son' Dan Watson edges closer, Patrick Nolan is A.W.O.L from the club offices. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall leads the chase to find the missing Chief Executive. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Lucinda Shaw as Christine Williams Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit Lucy-Jane Quinlan as Grace Roberts-Dean Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E43 · Mon, April 20, 2020
Episode 078 - Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Ashwood take on Manchester City at the Etihad Stadium, with an already irritated Patrick Nolan arranging the travel to the game for his fellow board-members; Head of Communications Jess Tate and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes Additional Voices: Joel Emery Nalan Burgess Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E42 · Sun, April 12, 2020
Episode 077 - The Resurrection
The Premier League has returned, as Ashwood City host Arsenal. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber Allon Sylvain as Eric Van Smit Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Joel Emery as Dan Watson With thanks to Jon Champion Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E41 · Mon, April 06, 2020
Episode 076 - The Game is Afoot
Something is stirring in the night... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional voices Lucinda Shaw Joel Emery With thanks to Jon Champion Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E40 · Mon, March 30, 2020
Episode 075 - Rebel Without a Clause
In a time of unprecedented government support for businesses, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has taken the opportunity to make the most of the tax-payer funded assistance. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Lucinda Shaw as Christine Williams Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Additional voices Luke Moore Lynne Shaw Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E39 · Mon, March 23, 2020
Episode 074 - Party Poopers
As a nationwide lockdown looms; Patrick, Woody and Jess make a final social outing in attending the birthday party of Arsenal Head Coach Mikel Arteta. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes With thanks to The Price of Football Podcast Kevin Day Kieran Maguire Guy Kilty Directed by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E38 · Mon, March 16, 2020
Episode 073 - A Goal For Africa
Football is at a standstill and in an effort to gain some positive online traction; Ashwood City have released a fundraising anthem during Sport Relief mistaking it for Red Nose Day. It's up to Jess Tate to handle the fallout from the controversial song. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional voices Lucinda Shaw Joel Emery Directed by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E37 · Thu, March 12, 2020
Episode 072 - The Boy Who Cried Wolfsburg
Flying high off the back of a 1-0 win in Wolfsburg in the Europa League Round of 16; the Ashwood City players are taking measures to ensure they avoid being affected by the Coronavirus outbreak. Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Directed by: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E36 · Mon, March 09, 2020
Episode 071 - Old Etonians Assemble!
As the authorities prepare their case against Patrick Nolan, old connections provide an opportunity to hinder the prosecution. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson Additional voices Nalan Burgess Joel Emery Directed by: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E35 · Mon, March 02, 2020
Episode 070 - Dangerous Liaisons
Ashwood City set their sights on Norwich and all three points as 19th in the Premier League take on 20th at Carrow Road. Woody however has bumped into an old colleague that could turn the fortunes of the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E34 · Thu, February 27, 2020
Episode 069 - Broom With a View
Ashwood City are in Basel, Switzerland for the second leg of their Europa League Round of 32 tie. In addition to already trailing 1-0 on aggregate, the side now have to deal with club captain Kieran Broom walking out on the team prior to kick-off. Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel Webber Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional Voices: Nalan Burgess Joel Emery Casting Director: Kirsty Gillmore Directed by: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E33 · Mon, February 24, 2020
Episode 068 - Hold The Phone
UEFA have been in touch with Ashwood City to confirm the use of Patrick Nolan in the promotional media for their latest campaign. The Chief-Executive however... has a few tweaks. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Directed by: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E32 · Thu, February 20, 2020
Episode 067 - Family Matters
The Europa League returns as Ashwood City face FC Basel at home in the first leg of the Round of 32 tie. Tensions from the previous week have got unresolved as Kieran and Christian's relationship deteriorates further causing Dwight Hayes to step in. Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Esmonde Cole as KFC Isi Adeola as Christian Akuffo Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Casting Director: Kirsty Gillmore Directed by: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E31 · Mon, February 17, 2020
Episode 066 - Training Day
With yet another Premier League defeat, this time at the hands of Leicester City, Ashwood find themselves in turmoil as on-the-field pressure breeds contempt on the training ground. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes Nalan Burgess as Natasha Harley Additional voices Thomas Mitchells Casting Director: Kirsty Gillmore Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E30 · Mon, February 10, 2020
Episode 065 - Rest For The Wicked
Ashwood City are without a fixture and in an effort to fully embrace the Premier League winter break, the ownership have taken the team and staff to Florida for an extensive training camp to save their season. Patrick on the other hand is working on his own brand to save not just his season, but his reputation. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Nalan Burgess as Natasha Harley Additional voices Vanessa Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E29 · Mon, February 03, 2020
Episode 064 - Bourne Ultimatum
With the close of the transfer window, Ashwood City's attention returns to the Premier League and the visit of relegation rivals AFC Bournemouth. Patrick Nolan's attention, however, is focused on how to undo a personal faux pas. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Isi Adeola as Christian Akuffo Additional Voices: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Casting Director: Kirsty Gillmore Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E28 · Fri, January 31, 2020
Episode 063 - Deadline Day
Ashwood City are moments away from getting the Christian Akuffo deal over the line from Napoli. The new signing however has a difficult first demand upon his arrival at the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes Isi Adeola as Christian Akuffo Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Lucinda Shaw as Christine Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Casting Director: Kirsty Gillmore Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E27 · Mon, January 20, 2020
Episode 062 - An American Werewolf in Ashwood
Struggling Ashwood City have travelled to Molineux to face Wolverhampton Wanderers. Joining the Ashwood City hierarchy is Anaheim Sports Group's latest addition, Operations Director; Dwight Hayes. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Lance Fuller as Dwight Hayes Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional voices Jonny Blain Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Casting Director: Kirsty Gillmore Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E26 · Mon, January 13, 2020
Episode 061 - Wayne's World
The Premier League returns after a brief FA Cup interlude. For Ashwood City preparations for the visit of Crystal Palace have been disrupted by the disgruntled 'Wayne'. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional voices Lucinda Shaw Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E25 · Mon, January 06, 2020
Episode 060 - Pat on a Hot Tin Roof
Following a brutal festive period in the league for Ashwood City, it's finally cause for celebration as Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is to receive an MBE. A celebratory party is arranged in a rare weekend without Premier League action. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E24 · Mon, December 23, 2019
Episode 059 - The Christmas Special One II
It's Christmas Eve and the Ashwood City hierarchy are spending it in Los Angeles. For Patrick Nolan, it's a chance to solidify his masterplan, whilst Jess and Woody are tasked with retrieving the player on top of the club's christmas list - Joshua Nakatomi. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis Additional voices John Brannoch Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery The Offensive will return 06/01/2020 with a special F.A Cup Episode. WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E23 · Mon, December 16, 2019
Episode 058 - Hutch Ado About Nothing
The bail is set for Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's release as his cooperation with the investigation ensures a problematic scenario for Anaheim Sports Group owner Hutch Lewis; whose trust in Patrick is coming back to haunt him. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Additional voices Lucinda Shaw Vanessa Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E22 · Thu, December 12, 2019
Episode 057 - All's Well That Ends Well
It's the final game of the Europa League Group Stage and Ashwood City face Qarabag at home. In the lead up to kick off, the club hierarchy have arranged to shoot an advert. Adam Jarrell as Chris Well Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E21 · Mon, December 09, 2019
Episode 056 - Desert Storm II
A midweek Premier League clash with Everton is followed closely by Bournemouth away at the weekend. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan, however, is going to be absent from the visit to the South Coast as he is drawn back to Saudi Arabia at short notice. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis Additional voices Nalan Burgess Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery and Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E20 · Mon, December 02, 2019
Episode 055 - Theatre of Schemes
Ashwood return to Premier League action at Old Trafford. Sharing a car journey together en route to the game, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan discovers that Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall has been hatching a plan. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E19 · Thu, November 28, 2019
Episode 054 - Slip of the Iceberg
It's Thursday night football yet again and Ashwood City are up against Rangers in Glasgow as their penultimate Europa League fixture sees them look to recover from their 4-0 defeat to Roma and their 3-0 domestic defeat to Leicester City. Last time out, Rangers boss Steven Gerrard neglected to shake Eric's hand, this time out Eric is looking to return the snub. Thomas Mitchells as William van Ginkel Nalan Burgess as Natasha Hardy Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Esmonde Cole as KFC Adam Jarrell as Chris Well Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E18 · Mon, November 25, 2019
Episode 053 - Desert Storm
Ashwood City are concluding a brief warm weather training session in Saudi Arabia ahead of the next Premier League matchweek. With a player revolt behind them; Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall are looking for the remaining conspirators. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Nalan Burgess as Claudia Seymour Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E17 · Mon, November 11, 2019
Episode 052 - When The Man Comes Around
The Ashwood City hierarchy enter contract talks with former club captain Kieran Broom. After scoring the winner at the weekend away to Newcastle United, the Midfielder believes he holds all the aces as he attempts to orchestrate a potential return of the prodigal son, Dan Watson. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan on the other hand, has different ideas. * The Offensive will return on 24.11.19, after the International Break Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Joel Emery as Dan Watson Additional Voices: Acushla-Tara Kupe Lynnette Shaw John Brannoch Lucinda Shaw Thomas Mitchells Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E16 · Thu, November 07, 2019
Episode 051 - Children of the Revolution
An emphatic home defeat to Manchester City has prompted an emergency Monday morning training session ahead of the Europa League home game v Roma... But a few senior players have other plans. Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Rhys Tees as Rob Jefferson Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom Joel Emery as Dan Watson Directed by: Joel Emery & Paul Waggott Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited -- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E15 · Mon, November 04, 2019
Episode 050 - Lest He Forget
Ashwood City are playing host to the Champions; Manchester City on their final home Premier League game before Remembrance Day. A recent faux-pas by Patrick Nolan has prompted the Chief-Executive to keep a low profile on the matchday. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E14 · Mon, October 28, 2019
Episode 049 - Fight at the Museum
It's the opening of the Ashwood City Museum. During preparations for the unveiling; Patrick, Jess and Woody explore the not-so-glorious past of the club. As Patrick prepares a speech to the press, things go from bad to worse. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E13 · Thu, October 24, 2019
Episode 048 - The Boys Are Baku in Town
Ashwood City are in Baku, Azerbaijan following their fixture with Qarabag FK in the UEFA Europa League. With an early flight back to the UK the next day, the players are expected to get some much needed rest and recovery in the hotel. Esmonde Cole as KFC Adam Jarrell as Chris Well Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E12 · Mon, October 21, 2019
Episode 047 - Black Hawk Clown
The Premier League has returned from the international break and Ashwood City face Brighton at Dartley Park. With hastily made plans to find a sponsor for the former Gerry Harkness stand; the club face fierce protests and a possible boycott of the game. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Additional voices: Luke Stevenson Joel Emery Lucinda Shaw Alex Marshall Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited-- Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E11 · Mon, October 07, 2019
Episode 046 - Brussels Scouts
Ashwood City take on Tottenham Hotspur in the Premier League at the newly developed Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Patrick and Woody are admiring not only the new stadium belonging to the North London club; but also one of their centre-backs. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E10 · Thu, October 03, 2019
Episode 045 - A Tale of Two Coaches
Two Ashwood Managers, old and new face very different challenges as European football grips the continent yet again. For Ashwood City it's the Europa League and they play host to Rangers, while Valencia are at home to Ajax in the Champions League. Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Joel Emery as Dan Watson Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber Adam Jarrell as Chris Well Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E9 · Mon, September 30, 2019
Episode 044 - Riches Get Itches
Pressure is mounting on Patrick as financial conduct, club form and dressing room turmoil are all catching up with him, he pays a visit to the club doctor to seek some medical assistance. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel Webber Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Additional voices: Luke Stevenson Directed by: Adam Jarrell & Paul Waggott Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E8 · Mon, September 23, 2019
Episode 043 - The Volley of Youth
It's the first Premier League win of the season for Ashwood City and it comes on the road at West Ham. For Patrick, Woody and Jess the celebrations are on hold as matchday goalscorer and prized asset Kyle Francis-Clarke has gone AWOL in London following the unexpected victory. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional Voices: Lucy-Jane Quinlan Thomas Mitchells Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E7 · Thu, September 19, 2019
Episode 042 - The Fools of Rome
The Europa League campaign kicks off in Rome, as Ashwood City take on AS Roma in their opening group game. Tensions with Kieran Broom continue to worsen as the side face a difficult challenge away from home. Esmonde Cole as KFC Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit Adam Jarrell as Chris Well Additional Voices: Nalan Burgess Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E6 · Mon, September 16, 2019
Episode 041 - Don't Count Your (Kentucky Fried) Chickens
The International break is over and Premier League football returns to Dartley Park as Ashwood City take on league leaders; Liverpool. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan has his work cut out to repair his relationships and reputation after the decision to relinquish the captaincy from Kieran Broom. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional Voices: Rhys Tees Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E5 · Mon, September 02, 2019
Episode 040 - The Hark Side
The club react to the sad news that Ashwood legend Gerry Harkness has passed away. Meanwhile, Patrick's dubious financial endeavours are beginning to catch up with him as local journalist Gareth McAskill is tipped off. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional Voices: Nalan Burgess Rhys Tees Vanessa Emery Lucinda Shaw Luke Stevenson Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E4 · Mon, August 26, 2019
Episode 039 - Nuno Way Out
Following a home defeat to Wolves, Patrick and Woody find themselves waiting outside new Head Coach Eric Van Smit's office. With no confidence and no signal - the pair must formulate a plan to let the Head Coach know exactly how they feel about Ashwood's torrid start to the season. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Additional Voices: Lucinda Shaw Luke Stevenson Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. ***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E3 · Mon, August 19, 2019
Episode 038 - The Kiss of Death
After a disappointing draw with newly-promoted Sheffield United, the Ashwood City fans want answers. The Club's hierarchy, however, have other issues to attend to. An unfortunate traffic jam only adds to the problems of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional Voices: Thomas Mitchells Esmonde Cole Lucinda Shaw Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 E2 · Mon, August 12, 2019
Episode 037 - Gel Hath No Fury
Ashwood kick off their season away to Burnley and immediately face consequences from the result. With weeks of excessive spending behind him; Patrick is desperate to fix any squad issues before the next matchday. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger Additional Voices: Nalan Burgess Thomas Mitchells Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Thu, August 08, 2019
2019/20 SEASON: Deadline Day
After a summer of discontent, another managerial sacking and a few (mostly Dutch) signings, the new season is almost underway. With the initial difficulties of the transfer window, Ashwood's troubles deepen after the release of an indecent image allegedly picturing a member of the playing staff. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional Voices: Allon Sylvain John Brannoch Rhys Tees Nalan Burgess Thomas Mitchells Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E35 · Mon, May 13, 2019
Episode 035 - Finale: Part 2
The game is underway. The only thing standing between Ashwood City and Europa League football is Fulham FC. Woody is still nowhere to be seen as the tentative first half draws to a close. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional voices: Lucinda Shaw Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. This is a Primley Limited Production. Copyright 2019 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E34 · Mon, May 06, 2019
Episode 034 - Finale: Part 1
The takeover is under threat with an unexpected victory at Leicester City. With other league results in their favour, Ashwood find themselves in 7th and currently qualifying for the UEFA Europa League; which would cancel the sale due to the current ownership's stipulations on European football. Patrick Nolan is left to find a way to ensure the deal goes through and the chances of finishing 7th are quashed. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis Elliot Gindi as Mohamed Al-Zawi Additional voices: Nalan Burgess Lucinda Shaw Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. This is a Primley Limited Production. Copyright 2019 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E33 · Mon, April 29, 2019
Episode 033: Oman Where Art Thou
An immediate and unprecedented breakthrough in the future of Ashwood City as Omani billionaire Mohamed Al-Zawi prepares a £615m bid for the club. With the news spreading fast, Ashwood Head Coach Rod Meadows is preparing for life under the new regime. Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Elliot Gindi as Mohamed Al-Zawi Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E32 · Mon, April 22, 2019
Episode 032: Thrown to the Wolves
Whilst attending a team bonding week Patrick recounts to Woody his latest foray with Gary Briggs during the Easter weekend's victory against Wolverhampton Wanderers. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Directed by: Adam Jarrell Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E31 · Mon, April 15, 2019
Episode 031: Masters of the Universe
Patrick has met with Ashwood City owner Hutch Lewis at the US Masters in Augusta, Georgia to decide the future of their relationship and the club. Joining him on the business trip are Jess Tate and Chris 'Woody' Woodall who are taking in some of the golf that's on offer. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis Additional voices: Lucinda Shaw Nalan Burgess Vanessa Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E30 · Mon, April 08, 2019
Episode 030 - War Games
Off the back of the defeat to Liverpool; Ashwood are dealing with the fallout from Willy Amadou's celebration in which he used the corner flag to simulate gunfire. With the club under scrutiny, it would seem Patrick is going about his normal business in trying to throw Chief Operating Officer Gary Briggs under the bus. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Additional voices: Alex Marshall Thomas Mitchells Lucinda Shaw Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E29 · Mon, April 01, 2019
Episode 029: Singing in the Rain
With enormous pressure mounting on the club, Patrick has seen an opportunity to win over the support of the ownership by adapting Head Coach Rod Meadows negative tactics. Leading the playing-style negotiations is Chris 'Woody' Woodall; as the Sporting Director and Suspended Chairman attempt to have a say on what happens on the pitch. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E28 · Mon, March 18, 2019
Episode 028: The Ides of March
Patrick offers his conditions to withdraw as Chairman and return as Chief-Executive under Hutch's ownership. With the board refusing his offer, Patrick looks to take vengeance on their upcoming home fixture against Newcastle. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional voices: Nalan Burgess Lucinda Shaw Luke Stevenson Rhys Tees Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E27 · Mon, March 11, 2019
Episode 027: From Borussia With Love
Ashwood City are looking to entertain various potential corporate clients and sponsors for next season; permitting Premier League survival. As the club look to send staff on various networking trips - Jess and Woody have made their own personal excursion to a more prestigious venue. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E26 · Mon, March 04, 2019
Episode 026: An Englishman, An Irishman and A Scotsman
An Englishman, An Irishman and A Scotsman walk into a Barcelona training camp... Ashwood City send Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall to convince club hot prospect Javier Cabello to return to England and fulfill his schoolboy contract. Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Paul Bullion as Ethan Jones John Walsh Brannoch as Colin Walsh Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Additional voices: Lucinda Shaw Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E25 · Mon, February 25, 2019
Episode 025: Tour de Farce
After being suspended from the club, Patrick is exploring ways to get back into power. Old friends in low places secure him a meeting with a lawyer to assist. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall George Still as Geoff Monroe Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E24 · Mon, February 11, 2019
Episode 024: A Domestic Coup
Gary Briggs, the newly appointed Ashwood City Chief Operating Officer is finalising his contract along with Alex Morrison, a Marketing Director, as the club add key additions to their office staff. The new arrivals however; struggle to fit in with club stalwarts Jess Tate and Chris 'Woody' Woodall. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional voices: Rhys Tees Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E23 · Mon, February 04, 2019
Episode 023: You Can't Win Anything With Kids
Ashwood City have gone viral thanks to a racially motivated incident in a local McDonald's. Jess has arranged a trip to the Ashwood Children's Hospital to provide some much needed PR and connection with the young fanbase. In an effort to spread the joy; Patrick has arrived with some gifts from the club shop. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices: Lucinda Shaw Rhys Tees Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E22 · Thu, January 31, 2019
Episode 022: Deadline Day
The Ivan Lloyd deal is in its final moments and the Ashwood City hierarchy contend with the unexpected appearance of Liverpool midfielder Harry Weaver in their staff car park. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices: Lucinda Shaw Rhys Tees Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E21 · Mon, January 21, 2019
Episode 021: Cheques, Spies, Videotape
A leaked disgruntled conference held with the written press by Rod Meadows hits home following suspicious activity during a sports science program at the training ground. Tension is rising at the club as the likelihood of selling Ivan Lloyd suddenly becomes very real. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices: Lucinda Shaw Luke Stevenson Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E20 · Mon, January 14, 2019
Episode 020: Staff Announcement
Back-to-back wins have put Ashwood into 14th and now they face the prospect of Crystal Palace at home. Pre-match, Ashwood are looking to announce a major new signing and have hired a specialist events company for the announcement. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Nicola Kill as Kate Sinclair Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E19 · Mon, January 07, 2019
Episode 019: El Crapico
It's time for the FA Cup Third Round and The Kent Derby. Off the back of an encouraging run under new manager Rod Meadows the Ashwood City bus is stopped in its tracks outside Priestfield Stadium in Gillingham as the local crowds block its approach. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E18 · Mon, December 24, 2018
Episode 018: The Christmas Special One
MERRY CHRISTMAS The Offensive will return on Monday 7th January with an FA Cup special. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis Oliver Dowling as Benedict Rice Denis Michallet as Felix Grosjean Joel Emery as Dan Watson Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E17 · Mon, December 17, 2018
Episode 017: The Transfer Committee
With the transfer window opening in just over two weeks and with a new Head Coach lined up to replace the struggling Felix Grosjean; Ashwood are conducting their annual transfer committee. Amidst the chaotic player recruitment and research, Patrick is looking to sign his player that will secure funds for Thomas Fell and ensure Patrick receives 15% of the club for a cut price. Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Additional voices: Rhys Tees Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E16 · Mon, December 10, 2018
Episode 016: I'm A Chief Exec... Get Me Out of Here
As Ashwood are drawn against Kent rivals Gillingham in the FA Cup third round; Patrick has gone AWOL from the club as he attempts to close in on his purchase of the Ashwood City shares. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Maude Hirst as Elaine Keller Additional voices: Joel Emery Oliver Dowling Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E15 · Mon, December 03, 2018
Episode 015: Good Klopp Bad Klopp
As Ashwood prepare for the visit of Liverpool, Patrick is infuriated following derogatory comments about Ashwood from Jurgen Klopp and various analysts within the mainstream media. In an effort to enact revenge and give Ashwood the upper hand in the game he and Woody take drastic steps. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices: Rhys Tees Nalan Burgess Jonny Blain Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E14 · Mon, November 26, 2018
Episode 014: Board Games
Another defeat - this time away to relegation candidates Huddersfield Town, leaves Ashwood in the bottom three for the first time this season. The ownership begin to have mixed feelings about their Head Coach Felix Grosjean; leaving Patrick, Jess and Woody tasked with planning for the future. For Patrick, the vote of confidence from the board members takes an opportunistic turn... Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening, follow the club on twitter @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E13 · Sun, November 11, 2018
Episode 013: Battle of the Bastards
As Ashwood City combat a supporter protest during a game where both home and away fans have been banned; Woody is entering his third week of suspension, and is looking to make a comeback. Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Additional voices: Omari Douglas Sam Hallahan Luke Stevenson Oliver Dowling Simon Shaw Rhys Tees Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E12 · Sun, November 04, 2018
Episode 012: Snakes on a Train
As the scandal deepens and FA investigations continue, Head of Ethics: Benedict Rice, along with Chief Executive Patrick Nolan and the Vice Head of Football Operations Nick Bernardi have accompanied the playing staff aboard the train to Newcastle, as a show of solidarity for their upcoming fixture. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Sam Hallahan as Nick 'The Prick' Bernardi Oliver Dowling as Benedict Rice Additional voices: Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E11 · Sun, October 28, 2018
Episode 011: Boats on a Scandal
During the height of the media storm following The Portsmouth Matter, Ashwood face Cardiff City on the pitch and an FA investigation off it, courtesy of the new Ashwood City Director of Ethics; Benedict Rice. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Oliver Dowling as Benedict Rice Additional voices: Omari Douglas Rachel Summers Jo Price Lucy-Jane Quinlan Dean Kilbey Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod ( incompetech.com ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E10 · Sun, October 21, 2018
Episode 010: Lost in Translation
Ashwood City travel to Burnley after a disastrous and perplexing opening press conference for the new Head Coach; Felix Grosjean. The match takes a turn for the worse after a bust-up in the tunnel between Felix and Burnley manager Sean Dyche. Ashwood's problems deepen as the translator hired by Felix isn't fulfilling his duties. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Denis Michallet as Felix Grosjean / Bruno Duvall Additional voices: Omari Douglas Nalan Burgess Luke Stevenson Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E9 · Sun, October 07, 2018
Episode 009: The French Connection
Patrick and Woody are en route to Marseille to obtain the services of Head Coach Felix Grosjean, but a stumbling block is put in their place as the Marseille Chief-Executive is having second thoughts. Jess is tasked with keeping Chinese betting corporation, and Ashwood City shirt sponsor; iBET sweet, but heavy concessions are required. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices: Omari Douglas Denis Michallet Wen Theaker Trev Neo Joel Emery Jonny Sharples Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E8 · Sun, September 30, 2018
Episode 008: Out of Office
Following yet another defeat, this time at the hands of Chelsea; Ashwood City FC face action in the form of a last-minute supporter protest. With the club image in tatters, Jess is tasked with disrupting the protest and buying Ashwood some time - yet she has some commitments of her own. Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Lucy-Jane Quinlan as Erica Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices: Omari Douglas Nalan Burgess Luke Stevenson Joel Emery Oliver Dowling Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E7 · Sun, September 23, 2018
Episode 007: Big Sam and Fries
Ashwood are moments away from hiring Big Sam as the ownership throw a last minute obstacle in their way. Meanwhile, as Liam Brightwell looks to take charge of his second game as caretaker manager, a disastrous Ashwood City tweet dismisses him from the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Dane Baptiste as Liam Brightwell Nalan Burgess as Jane Lucy-Jane Quinlan as Erica Rachel Summers as Simone Rhys Tees as Sam Green Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E6 · Sun, September 16, 2018
Episode 006: Howe to Cheat Death
As Ashwood City failed to recruit a new manager during the international break they face Bournemouth with former under 23s coach Liam Brightwell as caretaker manager. Following the match Patrick is detained in Eddie Howe's office after a death threat is made on his life. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Dane Baptiste as Liam Brightwell Acushla-Tara Kupe as Helen Weston Additional voices: Omari Douglas Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E5 · Sun, September 02, 2018
Episode 005: Long Live The King
Following a huge result for Ashwood, Dan Watson's comments in a post-match interview leave reverberations around the club as Patrick, Jess and Woody attempt to curtail the lofty ambitions of their manager. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Additional voices: Jo Price Lucinda Shaw Omari Douglas Sirena Riley Suzie Houlihan Rhys Tees Larner Wallace-Taylor Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E4 · Sun, August 26, 2018
Episode 004: The Last Supper
On the eve of their game at Crystal Palace; Patrick, Woody and Dan have met for dinner in London. As the night progresses Dan becomes increasingly frustrated that his expected dinner guest in Roy Hodgson is yet to show. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Additional voices: Omari Douglas Rhys Tees Raphaela Israel-Öbeñg Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E3 · Sun, August 19, 2018
Episode 003: The Prince of Harkness
In their first home game of the season, Ashwood City play host to Brighton as stadium developments cause havoc. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices: Omari Douglas Rhys Tees Oliver Dowling Dean Kilbey Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E2 · Sun, August 12, 2018
Episode 002: The Biter from the Balkans
Ashwood get their season underway at Vicarage Road as some serious foul play from their Croatian midfielder leaves Head of Communications Jess Tate clearing up the mess. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices: Jo Price Omari Douglas Rhys Tees Oliver Dowling Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 E1 · Thu, August 09, 2018
Episode 001: Transfer Deadline Day
Join Ashwood City FC on deadline day as the club's lack of spending during the window sparks an internal crisis. After manager Dan Watson appears on national radio to air his frustrations regarding a quiet transfer window, club Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is left with his Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall to try and get a handle on things. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess Tate Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Joel Emery as Dan Watson Additional voices: Jo Price Lucinda Shaw Omari Douglas Sirena Riley Rhys Tees Oliver Dowling Denis Michallet Episode written by: Joel Emery Directed by: Adam Jarrell Edited by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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