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August 20, 2019 2:05am

1h 15m

Today’s Headlines: Public invited to an interpretive dance off between the Ministry of Magic and the Hogwarts board of governors—the winner will claim the title of most corrupt organization of 1993! Front Page: Just how many monsters can Hogwarts hold? All of them, Ron. All of them. Politics: This. World. Is. So. Corrupt. Personals: In the arrrrrrrrms of the annnngel… far awayyyyyy from here…. Sports: Quidditch is cancelled! Education: Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Someone help these children choose their classes! All this and oodles more to be found in the week’s newspaper!


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