Mon, April 14, 2025

429 The Secret to Unshakable Confidence (with Russ Harris)

In this episode, Kimberley Quinlan and Dr. Russ Harris explore how to build real, lasting confidence—not by eliminating fear, but by learning to take action alongside it.  

Mon, April 07, 2025

428 The Fear of Judgment: How to Stop Worrying About What Others Think

In this episode, Kimberley Quinlan shares practical tools to help you stop fearing judgment and start living more freely, even when anxiety is along for the ride.

Mon, March 31, 2025

427 Listen to This if You are Completely Overwhelmed

If you're feeling mentally, emotionally, or physically overwhelmed, this episode offers compassionate, science-based strategies to help you reset your nervous system and gently take back control.

Mon, March 24, 2025

426 Do I have GAD or OCD? (or both) How to tell the difference

Not sure if you're struggling with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? In this episode, Kimberley shares her personal journey with both and breaks down how to tell the difference—so you can get the right support and start healing.

Mon, March 17, 2025

425 Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety (with Sally Winston)

Anticipatory anxiety tricks your brain into believing the worst-case scenario is already happening, but in this episode, Dr. Sally Winston shares powerful mindset shifts to help you break free from the cycle of worry.

Mon, March 10, 2025

424 Kimberley Answers Your TOP Questions About Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Struggling with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)? Learn how to identify GAD, manage symptoms, and break the cycle with proven, science-backed strategies

Mon, March 03, 2025

423 3 Attitude Shifts for Anxiety & Panic (That Help YOU Thrive at Work, Relationships, and Health)

In this episode, we explore three powerful attitude shifts that can transform your relationship with anxiety, helping you navigate life’s challenges with confidence and resilience.

Mon, February 24, 2025

422 If You Are in a Tough Place Right Now, This Will Change Your Life

In this episode, we explore how to break free from frustration and self-judgment by shifting from stress to self-compassion using the powerful practice of loving-kindness.

Mon, February 17, 2025

421 How to Be Optimistic (in a Scary World)

In this episode, Kimberly Quinlan shares practical strategies to help you cultivate optimism even when the world feels overwhelming, offering tools to shift your perspective and find hope. What to Expect in This Episode: Learn how acknowledging your struggles can be the first step toward optimism. Discover the power of connecting with others who are working to make a positive difference. Find out how focusing on what you can control can shift your mindset. Hear a personal story about how taking responsibility in relationships transformed Kimberly’s outlook. Get practical tips for spotting acts of kindness and beauty in your everyday life. Understand why optimism is a practice and how you can start cultivating it today.

Mon, February 10, 2025

420 My Bravest Year Yet (my personal PTSD + OCD journey)

In this deeply personal episode, Kimberley shares her journey through OCD and PTSD recovery, revealing the struggles, breakthroughs, and the powerful strategies that helped her make this her bravest year yet.  

Mon, February 03, 2025

419 Perfectionism OCD (with Danielle & Andrew Cohen)

In this episode, Danielle and Andrew Cohen share their personal and professional insights on perfectionism OCD, how it impacts relationships, and the key strategies that have helped them navigate anxiety, communication, and growth together.

Mon, January 27, 2025

418 Listen to This if You Are Having a Panic Attack

In this episode, we dive into practical, compassionate strategies to navigate panic attacks, offering tools to help you regain control and find calm amidst the storm.

Mon, January 13, 2025

417 How to Fall Asleep (with OCD and Anxiety)

In this episode, Kimberley Quinlan and Sue Chuddy dive into practical strategies for managing OCD and anxiety-related sleep disturbances, offering actionable tools to help you reclaim restful nights.

Mon, December 30, 2024

416 Thriving with Relationship OCD (with Andrew & Danielle Cohen)

In this insightful episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, Kimberley Quinlan chats with Andrew and Danielle Cohen about navigating the challenges of Relationship OCD (ROCD) through lived experience, clinical expertise, and actionable strategies for thriving in relationships.

Mon, December 23, 2024

415 6 Eating Disorder Rules (That Saved My Life)

In this episode, Kimberley Quinlan shares the six powerful rules that guided her eating disorder recovery and continue to help her clients find freedom and healing.

Mon, December 16, 2024

414 How to Navigate Depression (During the Holiday Season)

In this episode, Kimberley Quinlan shares practical strategies for navigating holiday-related depression, from setting boundaries to finding small moments of joy, so you can create a season that prioritizes your mental health.

Mon, December 09, 2024

413 The One Anxiety Recovery Skill I Am Doubling Down On

In this episode, Kimberly Quinlan shares the transformative anxiety recovery skill of embracing all emotions and offers practical strategies to help you reduce fear and build emotional resilience.

Mon, December 02, 2024

412 Why Do I Keep Pulling My Hair Out? (Understanding Trichotillomania)

Ever wonder, 'Why do I keep pulling my hair out?' In this episode, we break down the reasons behind Trichotillomania, including stress, boredom, genetics, and more. We also cover strategies like Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Habit Reversal Training (HRT) to help you manage hair-pulling urges and stop the cycle.

Mon, November 25, 2024

411 My Secret Weapon for Managing OCD Urges

In this podcast episode, Kimberley Quinlan dives into how to manage OCD urges effectively, breaking down why they feel so real and sharing actionable strategies to resist compulsions and regain control.

Mon, November 18, 2024

410 How to Stop Worrying If People Are Judging You (A Compassionate Approach)

In this episode, Kimberley Quinlan shares practical tools and mindset shifts to help you stop worrying about being judged and embrace authenticity.

Fri, November 08, 2024

409 Foods That Increase Anxiety (and Foods That Help with Anxiety) - with Heather Lilico

In this episode, holistic nutritionist Heather Lilico shares practical insights on how food choices can help manage anxiety, support mental well-being, and create a balanced approach to nutrition.

Mon, November 04, 2024

408 How to Overcome the Fear of Medical Procedures (A Therapist's Guide)

In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit , Kimberley Quinlan guides listeners through practical strategies for managing the fear of medical procedures, such as needle and blood phobias. Drawing from both professional expertise and personal experience, she shares actionable tips to help listeners confront their fears with compassion and resilience. Learn how to turn anxiety into a manageable experience and feel empowered through the process.

Mon, October 28, 2024

407 How to Manage Election Anxiety (Strategies for Dealing with Political Stress)

Mon, October 21, 2024

406 How to Stop the Downward Spiral of Depression Before It Takes Over

Tue, October 15, 2024

405 How to Stay Patient (and Calm) When Anxious

Tue, October 08, 2024

404 How to Break the Panic Cycle

Fri, September 27, 2024

403 Stop trying to stop emotions (it will slow down your anxiety recovery)

Fri, September 20, 2024

402 The 6 Ways OCD Keeps You Stuck (with Patrick McGrath)

Fri, September 13, 2024

401 Things People Secretly Do Because of Social Anxiety (with Natasha Daniels)

Fri, September 06, 2024

400 Everything I know about Anxiety Recovery (in one episode)

Fri, August 30, 2024

399 5 Types of OCD Compulsions

Fri, August 23, 2024

398 4 Ways that Anxiety Lies to You

Fri, August 16, 2024

396 Stress vs Anxiety (How to Tell The Difference)

Fri, August 09, 2024

396 Taking the Shame out of Anxiety and Addiction (With Tori Lynn Panzarella)

Fri, August 02, 2024

Managing the “Build Up” of Anxiety and Uncertainty | Ep. 395

Fri, July 26, 2024

394 If I Could Focus on Only One Thing in Anxiety Recovery, This Would Be It

Fri, July 19, 2024

The Rest to Productivity Ratio | Ep. 393

Finding Your Perfect Rest-to-Productivity Ratio The Burnout Dilemma Ever felt like you’re constantly running on empty, juggling a never-ending to-do list, and battling that nagging voice that tells you you’re not doing enough?  You’re not alone.  In a world that glorifies hustle and productivity, finding the right balance between rest and work can feel impossible.  But what if I told you that striking this balance is not only achievable but essential for your well-being? Today, let's dive into the concept of the rest-to-productivity ratio—a game-changing approach to ensure you’re resting enough to fuel your productivity and thrive without burning out.

Sat, July 06, 2024

Seven Mistakes Some OCD Therapists Are Making in 2024 | Ep. 392

In today’s discussion, we’re delving into the seven mistakes some OCD therapists are making in 2024. While the title might seem provocative, the goal is to highlight concerning trends in OCD treatment and provide insights that could enhance therapeutic approaches. Remember, this is my opinion based on what I've observed in various forums. I don't claim to have all the answers, but I hope to spark a constructive conversation. Mistake #1: Insufficient Initial Education Importance of Education at the Start of Treatment Many clients report feeling thrown into exposure and response prevention (ERP) without adequate preparation. Therapists must take the time to educate clients about OCD, their obsessions, and compulsions, and what to expect from treatment. This foundational knowledge empowers clients, giving them a sense of control and a clearer understanding of their journey. Mistake #2: Failing to Instill Hope and Confidence The Power of Hope in Treatment Therapists must remind clients that they have the potential to succeed. Treatment for OCD can be highly effective, and it's crucial to communicate this. While maintaining a realistic perspective, therapists should focus on the positive aspects of available treatments and instill a sense of hope and confidence in clients. Mistake #3: Neglecting Evidence-Based Modalities Therapists should prioritize evidence-based treatments, particularly ERP. While it's important to integrate supplementary approaches like ACT, mindfulness, and self-compassion, the core of OCD treatment should be grounded in proven methodologies. Clinicians need to stay informed and ensure their clients understand the rationale behind chosen treatments. Mistake #4: Misconceptions About ERP Being Traumatic ERP: Not Abusive When Properly Delivered Concerns about ERP being traumatic often stem from poor delivery rather than the method itself. Proper education and a strong therapist-client rapport can mitigate these fears. It’s vital to ensure clients understand why they’re facing their fears and to provide a supportive environment throughout the process. Mistake #5: Rigid ERP Plans Flexibility in Treatment While structured plans are important, rigid adherence can be detrimental. Treatment should be flexible and tailored to the client's evolving needs. Engaging clients in the planning process and adapting as necessary ensures that the therapy remains client-centered and effective. Mistake #6: Overlooking Barriers to Progress Exploring Underlying Issues When clients struggle with certain exposures, therapists should explore the underlying barriers. Understanding the client's fears, trust issues, or other relational dynamics can provide insights that help adjust the treatment plan accordingly. This approach prevents avoidance behaviors from taking hold. Mistake #7: Not Assigning Homework The Role of Homework in OCD Tr

Fri, June 28, 2024

9 Ways to stop picking your skin this summer | Ep. 391

9 Ways to Stop Picking Your Skin This Summer As summer approaches and the weather gets hotter, many of us are eager to wear shorter sleeves and enjoy the sun. However, this often leads to increased skin exposure and, unfortunately, a greater temptation to pick at our skin. In today's article, we'll explore nine strategies to help you stop picking your skin this summer. These tips have been helpful to many of my clients, and I hope they will be just as beneficial for you. Understanding Skin Picking Before we dive into the strategies, it's important to understand what skin picking is. Clinically known as dermatillomania , skin picking is a type of body-focused repetitive behavior (BFRB). People with this condition may pick at their skin, arms, lips, scalp, nails, and even more sensitive areas like the pubic region. It's similar to trichotillomania, which involves hair pulling. It's crucial to note that skin picking and hair pulling are not forms of self-harm. People who pick their skin are not trying to hurt themselves or seek attention. They often do it because they are either understimulated (bored) or overstimulated (anxious or overwhelmed). Understanding this can provide insight into the strategies we'll discuss. Strategy #1: Awareness Logs Awareness logs are a powerful tool in any stage of recovery. By logging every time you have the urge to pick, noting how much you picked, where, and for how long, you gain a better understanding of how this condition impacts your life. Many people find that having to document their behavior reduces the frequency of picking. Awareness logs are a key component of habit reversal training, a cognitive-behavioral therapy technique specifically designed for BFRBs. For more information about BFRB School, our online course for skin picking and hair pulling, CLICK HERE Strategy #2: Keep Your Hands Busy Engaging in a competing response can help divert your urge to pick. Competing responses might include using fidget toys, holding a stone, or playing with soothing textures. You can find many affordable fidgets online or at dollar stores. Create a basket of tactile items that you can use to keep your hands busy. Place these items around your house, in your car, and at work to ensure they are easily accessible when you need them. Strategy #3: Create a Skincare Routine A good skincare routine can help prevent irritation and dryness that might tempt you to pick. However, it's important not to overdo it, as too much attention to your skin can also trigger picking. Consult with your doctor to develop a routine that keeps your skin healthy without exa

Fri, June 21, 2024

How to Become More Self-Confident (When You Have Anxiety) | Ep. 390

Today, we’re diving into a topic on how to become more self-confident, especially if you struggle with anxiety. Self-confidence is a quality we all desire, but for those of us with anxiety, it can seem particularly elusive. Let's explore how to cultivate self-confidence, even when anxiety is a persistent part of your life. Understanding Self-Confidence First, let’s clarify what self-confidence actually is. Many people mistake it for arrogance or an inflated sense of self. True self-confidence, however, is a deep trust in your own abilities, strengths, and judgment, even when faced with adversity. Anxiety can often undermine this trust, making us feel uncertain and vulnerable. But self-confidence is not something you’re born with—it’s something you develop over time. Debunking Myths About Self-Confidence Myth 1: Self-confidence is Innate One common misconception is that self-confidence is an inherent trait. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Self-confidence is a skill that can be nurtured and grown with practice and perseverance. Myth 2: Success Equals Confidence Another myth is that self-confidence only comes after achieving certain milestones or successes. While accomplishments can boost confidence, they are not the sole source. True confidence is built through the process, not just the outcomes. Myth 3: Confident People Don’t Have Anxiety It’s a widespread belief that confident people are free from anxiety . In reality, confident individuals often face anxiety just like anyone else. The difference lies in their willingness to face their fears and grow through the experience. Building Self-Confidence: Practical Steps Embrace Challenges Self-confidence grows from facing and overcoming difficult situations. Initially, the thought of tackling a tough challenge can be overwhelming, but each experience strengthens your trust in your ability to handle adversity. Practice Feeling Your Emotions Confidence isn’t about the absence of fear but rather the ability to feel and manage your emotions effectively. By practicing feeling emotions like fear, inadequacy, or shame, you become more comfortable and resilient in facing them. Identify Specific Scenarios Pinpoint the situations where you feel least confident. Reflect on what emotions these scenarios evoke and work on becoming more comfortable with those feelings. For example, if public speaking makes you anxious, practice feeling that anxiety in smaller, controlled settings until it becomes more manageable.</

Fri, June 14, 2024

The Five Things You Need to Know About Health Anxiety (and How to Recover From It) | Ep. 389

Health anxiety is a common yet often misunderstood condition that can significantly impact one's quality of life. Whether it's worrying excessively about potential illnesses or constantly seeking reassurance about your health, the effects can be overwhelming. Understanding the nature of health anxiety and learning effective strategies to manage it can make a world of difference. In this article, we explore five essential things you need to know about health anxiety and offer practical tips for recovery, with expert insights from Michael Steer. 1. UNDERSTANDING HEALTH ANXIETY: WHAT IT IS AND WHAT IT ISN'T Health anxiety is a term often misunderstood by many. It's not just about being overly concerned with your health or frequently looking up symptoms on Google. Health anxiety can be categorized into two main disorders: Illness Anxiety Disorder and Somatic Symptom Disorder. Illness Anxiety Disorder involves a preoccupation with health despite not having significant physical symptoms. On the other hand, Somatic Symptom Disorder includes severe and persistent physical symptoms that cause substantial distress. It's essential to understand these distinctions to recognize that health anxiety isn't simply a matter of being overly cautious or paranoid about one's health. Moreover, health anxiety can often intertwine with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), involving obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors centered around health concerns.  2. NAVIGATING THE MEDICAL SYSTEM WITH HEALTH ANXIETY Dealing with health anxiety within the medical system can be particularly challenging. One of the critical aspects to remember is the importance of finding a healthcare provider who listens and validates your concerns. If you feel dismissed or unheard, it is perfectly acceptable to seek a second opinion or switch providers. Additionally, distinguishing between different types of symptoms can help manage health anxiety more effectively. Medical symptoms require immediate attention, such as severe chest pain or sudden numbness. Physical symptoms, like a sore back from yard work, are often benign and manageable with self-care. Psychological symptoms stem from anxiety and can include manifestations like tightness in the chest or dizziness. Understanding these differences can help reduce unnecessary panic and improve communication with healthcare providers. 3. TRUSTING THE RELIABILITY OF YOUR THOUGHTS A common challenge with health anxiety is differentiating between real medical issues and anxiety-driven thoughts. Think of your anxious thoughts as spam emails—they're real, but their content

Fri, June 07, 2024

The Six Reasons You Procrastinate | Ep. 388

Today, we’re going to go through the six reasons you procrastinate so that you can make a plan and hopefully end that procrastination so you can get back to doing the things you want to do.  Recognizing the reasons why you procrastinate is so important. I want to make sure I cover one key point before we get into the six reasons, and that is: you’re not lazy, and you’re not faulty. It’s not a bad personality trait that you procrastinate. I want to dispel that myth right out of the gate so that we can beat the self-criticism, the self-judgment, and the self-punishment that you may be doing or have done in the past. The fact that you procrastinate does not mean that there’s anything wrong with you. You’re not broken.  We engage in these patterns and safety behaviors to manage distress in our bodies. Procrastination is an avoidant behavior to avoid having to be uncomfortable and to work through the deep stuff that’s going on in our brain, mind, and body. First, I wanted to review that this is not your fault. You’re not bad because you do this. I’m even going to reframe a couple of those things here. A PERSPECTIVE SHIFT ON PROCRASTINATION As we talk about why you procrastinate, I want to tell you a story that changed my thoughts about procrastination. As an intern, I had a supervisor when I first became a therapist who supervised us and all our cases. A lot of the interns were talking about how we were so behind on all of our research and our study. We had all these tests, we had all these assignments, and we had to see clients. She questioned us by saying, “Procrastination isn’t necessarily a problem. First, you’ve got to look at the function of procrastination .” She said that if procrastination is working for you and it means you get the work done, you complete it in time, and you’re happy with the product you’ve created, procrastination isn’t a problem. In our society, we tell ourselves that we should be organized and calm when handing in the assignment instead of pressing the button right at the very last minute or sliding into work right as we should start.  Now, she said, if it’s working for you, go ahead and keep doing it. But so many of you, particularly those with anxiety, say, “No, Kimberley, that’s not the case. It is not working for me.” If that’s the case for you, let’s first look at the effects of procrastination. Suppose you are somebody who has an extreme amount of anxiety when you procrastinate, and it’s coming from a place of anxiety. In that case, it increases your panic and stress at the last minute, and you melt down. Then, this is why we want to explore the causes and why you procrastinate so that we can come up with a solution and a strategy that does help you.  The Six Reasons We Procrastinate Fear of

Fri, May 31, 2024

I have a new best friend for YOU | Ep. 387

I have a new best friend just for you.  I know that might sound a little strange, so hang with me here because this was mind-blowing to me, and I hope it is for you as well.  Let's talk about best friends. What does a good best friend look like?  It will be different for everybody, but generally, the way I see a best friend is that they're fun to be with. They're interested in fun things or things that you're interested in. They are there for you. They show up for you. They celebrate your birthday. They want to know how you're doing. They have a genuine interest in you. They're willing to pour into you. But in addition to that, they are also there for you when things get crappy.  It's so important because sometimes we feel vulnerable when sharing with people. But when we do share and are vulnerable, we can be held, and some space is created. There's this beautiful relationship where you share how you're doing, and they hold space for that. They encourage you. They ask how they can support you. Maybe they can give you some helpful advice. They're there for you when things are really hard. When you start to be hard on yourself, they pull you up.    THE BENEFITS OF BEST FRIENDS Best friends can also be brutally honest but in the most beautiful way.  I have two best friends. One is my husband, and one is a friend who lives quite a distance away. It's all via technology—voice chat, FaceTime, phone calls, and so forth. My best friends, not only do they support me, not only are they kind and lovely, but they also do call me out on my crap. They often say, "I don't think you've thought about this one well enough," or "Kimberley, I think you're going a little too urgent here. I think that your anxiety might be getting in the way." Or "Kimberley, have you taken care of yourself today? I'm noticing you mentioned you haven't been getting a lot of sleep. Could that be why this is hard for you?" Best friends aren't just all flowers and roses. They are honest and real. They're there for you when things aren't going well, but they champion you too. They believe in you like nobody else. When you're at your lowest, best friends will be like, "You could do totally that." Or if you're beating yourself up for not being good enough, they're like, "Oh my god, are you kidding me? Look at all the things that you've done." They're so ready to celebrate you, and they see you for way more than you can see yourself.  That is what I want for you so I will introduce you to your new best friend, and it's you. Your new best friend is you. I want you to think about this because you haven't developed a relationship with YOU enough to be your own best friend. It's something you're going to have to invest in. Your new best friend is YOU, whom I'd like you to meet. Hello friend. This new bestie that you're creating is going to be the person who is there for you no matter what.  AN INNER BESTIE VS. THE KIND

Fri, May 24, 2024

The 30-Day Social Anxiety Exposure Challenge| Ep. 386

Imagine being able to walk into a crowded room without feeling your heart pound out of your chest. Envision yourself confidently striking up conversations with strangers or going about your day without being overwhelmed with the fear of being judged by others.  If social anxiety has been holding you back from enjoying life, it's time to take on an exposure challenge and learn how to feel more confident in your skin when you are in public. In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we will explore one of the most well-known, science-based, and effective strategies for overcoming social anxiety. From gradual exposure to uncomfortable social situations to building a support network, you'll discover practical steps to overcome the grip of social anxiety . Recently, I overheard a therapist (of all people) say that letting our clients experience distress is harmful.  When I heard this, I gasped.  This idea and this narrative concerned me so much.  We have become so fixated on never feeling distressed that we fuel our anxiety and emotions.   Now, I get it. I am not in the business of being a therapist to make people feel terrible. Quite the opposite. However, one of the most powerful messages I give my clients is that we can learn to compassionately and effectively navigate distress because distress is a natural part of being a human.   If we have anxiety and we are committed to not feeling it, it will control every aspect of our lives. If you have social anxiety and you are committed to never being uncomfortable, social anxiety will take everything you love from you, including your future.  Today, we are focusing on pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone and facing your fears.  What you will learn is that you'll gradually build your confidence and become more at ease in social settings.  With each small success, you'll grow more robust and more resilient, expanding your social circle and embracing new opportunities. My hope is that you don't let social anxiety hold you back any longer.  Today, I am going to give you a 30-day Social Anxiety Challenge.  I have seen this work for my clients repeatedly, and I am confident it will change your life, too.  Before we get started, let's first make sure you have a good understanding of social anxiety.  UNDERSTANDING SOCIAL ANXIETY Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, is a common mental health condition characterized by an intense fear and anxiety in social situations. It goes beyond mere shyness and can significantly impact an individual's daily life. People with social anxiety often experience excessive worry about being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated in social settings. This fear can be so overwhelming tha

Fri, May 17, 2024

Smiling Depression: The Hidden Struggle That No One is Talking About | Ep. 385

Behind every smile, there can be hidden struggles and pain. You might even be one of those people struggling so much but puts on a smiling face even though you feel like you are sinking.   Smiling depression, a somewhat new term to describe people who are struggling with high-functioning depression, is a lonely battle that many individuals face. In today’s episode, we dive into the topic of smiling depression, exploring what it is and how it affects those who suffer from it. IS SMILING DEPRESSION A DIAGNOSIS? First of all, let me be clear. Smiling Depression is not a specific mental health diagnosis.  Instead, it is a presentation of depression. Unlike well-known symptoms of depression, those with smiling depression put on a facade of happiness. They may appear perfectly fine on the surface, leaving their inner turmoil hidden from the outside world. Unfortunately, this masks the severity of their emotional struggles, making it difficult for others to offer support or understanding. It is important to acknowledge the hidden struggles of smiling depression and offer compassion and support to those who are silently battling this condition. They are not lying or faking it to deceive you.  Instead, they feel completely trapped. They often see no way but to keep going and keep pretending. They just keep smiling, even though they see an end in sight. They put a smile on their face, and they push through.  Even just saying that makes me want to cry, as I have been in this situation too many times.  I completely understand the pressure (often self-induced pressure) just to keep going and “not complain,” “look at the bright side,” or “be grateful for what I have,” even though I was being crushed with hopelessness, helpfulness and worthlessness.  My hope is by addressing this topic, we can create an environment where you feel safe to express your true emotions and seek help.  You are not broken. You are not wrong for feeling this way.  And asking for help does not make you weak or bad.  You deserve to have support, love, compassion, and time to recover.  SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF SMILING DEPRESSION Smiling depression can be difficult to identify, as those who experience it often mask their true emotions behind a smile. However, there are certain signs and symptoms that can help us recognize this hidden condition.  One common characteristic of smiling depression is the apparent contradiction between a person's outward demeanor and their inner emotional state. While they may appear cheerful, happy, and successful, they may be struggling with feelings of hopelessness, helpfulness, worthlessness, emptiness, sadness, or even thoughts of self-harm or suicide. Another <a href= "https://themighty.com

Fri, May 10, 2024

The Power of Self-Compassion: Radically Embracing Kindness and Empathy for a Happier Life | Ep. 384

In today's fast-paced and demanding world, it's easy to forget to show ourselves the same compassion and empathy we extend to others. But what if I told you that embracing self-compassion could lead to a happier, more fulfilling life? It's true, and in this article, we will explore the power of self-compassion and how it can positively impact your overall well-being. Self-compassion is about treating ourselves with the same kindness, care, and understanding that we would show to a loved one. It involves acknowledging our imperfections and mistakes without judgment, and embracing our humanity. When we practice self-compassion, we cultivate a positive relationship with ourselves. We learn to be more understanding and forgiving, and that inner critic inside us gradually softens. We become more resilient in the face of challenges, and our self-esteem and self-worth improve. So how can we embrace self-compassion in our daily lives? We will delve into practical strategies and techniques that can help us cultivate self-compassion and create a more loving and compassionate relationship with ourselves. Join us on this journey of self-discovery and learn how to harness the power of self-compassion for a happier and more fulfilling life. Understanding Self-Compassion Self-compassion is about treating ourselves with the same kindness, care, and understanding that we would show to a loved one. It involves acknowledging our imperfections and mistakes without judgment, and embracing our humanity. When we practice self-compassion , we cultivate a positive relationship with ourselves. We learn to be more understanding and forgiving, and that inner critic inside us gradually softens. We become more resilient in the face of challenges, and our self-esteem and self-worth improve. Self-compassion is not about self-pity or self-indulgence. It is about recognizing our common humanity and understanding that we all make mistakes and face challenges. It is about being kind and supportive to ourselves, especially during difficult times. By embracing self-compassion, we can free ourselves from the constant pressure to be perfect and allow ourselves to be authentic and vulnerable. The Benefits of Practicing Self-Compassion The benefits of practicing self-compassion are numerous and far-reaching. Research has shown that individuals who regularly practice self-compassion experience higher levels of well-being and life satisfaction. They are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors, have better mental health, and experience lower levels of stress and anxiety. One of the key benefits of self-compassion is its role in fostering resilience. When we are kind and understan

Fri, May 03, 2024

An Anxiety Routine to Help You Get Through the Day | Ep. 383

If you need an anxiety routine to help you get through the day, you’re in the right place.  My name is Kimberley Quinlan. I am an anxiety specialist. I’m an OCD therapist . I specialize in cognitive behavioral therapy, and I’m here to help you create an anxiety routine that keeps you functioning, keeps your day effective, and improves the quality of your life. Because if you’re someone who has anxiety, you know it can take those things away.  Now, it’s so important to understand that generalized anxiety disorder impacts 6.8 million American adults every single day. That’s about 3.1% of the population. And if that is you, you’re probably going to agree that anxiety can hijack your day. It can take away the things that you love to do, it can impact your ability to get things done.  And so, one of the tools we use—I mean myself as a clinician—is what we call activity scheduling. This is where we create a routine or a schedule or a set of sequences that can help you get the most out of your day and make it so that anxiety doesn’t take over. So if you’re interested, let’s go do that.  Again, if you have anxiety, you know that anxiety has a way of messing up your day. You had a plan. You had goals. You had things you wanted to achieve. And then along comes anxiety, and it can sometimes decimate that plan.  AN ANXIETY SCHEDULE And so the first thing I want you to be thinking about as we go through putting together this schedule is to plan for anxiety to show up. Those of you who show up in the morning and think, “How can I not have anxiety impact my day?” Those are the folks who usually have it impact them the most. So we want to start by reframing how we look at our lives instead of planning, like, “Oh gosh, I hope it’s not here. I hope it doesn’t come.” Instead, we want to focus on planning for anxiety to show up because it will. And our goal is to have a great plan of attack when it does. MORNING ROUTINE FOR ANXIETY First of all, what we want to look at is our morning routine for anxiety . We want to have an anxiety routine specifically for the morning. There will be folks who have more anxiety in the morning. There will be folks who have more anxiety in the evening. You can apply these skills to whatever is the most difficult for you. But for the morning routine, the first thing we need to do is the minute we wake up, we want to be prepared for negative thoughts. Thoughts like, “I can’t handle this. I don’t want to do this. The day will go bad.” We want to be prepared for those and have a strat

Fri, April 19, 2024

Help Your Child Crush Their OCD (with Natasha Daniels) | Ep. 382

Helping children navigate the complexities of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) requires a delicate balance of understanding, patience, and empowerment. Natasha Daniels, a renowned expert in this field, shares invaluable insights into how parents can support their children in overcoming OCD with positivity and resilience. Normalizing OCD: One of the first steps in supporting children with OCD is normalizing the condition. Both parents and children need to understand that they are not alone in this journey. Natasha emphasizes the importance of taking things one step at a time and not allowing the overwhelming nature of OCD to overshadow the progress being made. Education is Key: Understanding OCD is crucial for effective support. Natasha urges parents to educate themselves about the condition, its symptoms, and the most effective treatment approaches. By arming themselves with knowledge, parents can better support their children through the challenges of OCD. The Concept of "Crushing" OCD: Natasha introduces the empowering concept of " crushing" OCD .” Instead of viewing OCD as an insurmountable obstacle, children are encouraged to see it as something conquerable. This shift in perspective can be transformative, instilling a sense of empowerment and resilience. Making Treatment Fun: To engage children in treatment , Natasha suggests incorporating fun activities. By turning exposures into games or playful challenges, children are more likely to participate actively in their own recovery journey. This approach not only makes treatment more enjoyable but also fosters a positive attitude towards facing fears. Bravery Points: Natasha introduces the idea of "bravery points" as a motivational tool for children. By rewarding bravery in facing OCD-related fears, children are incentivized to confront their anxieties and engage in exposure exercises. This gamified approach can be highly effective in encouraging progress. Adapting for Teens and Adults: While bravery points may resonate well with children, Natasha also offers insights into adapting these strategies for teenagers and adults. Creative incentives tailored to different age groups can help individuals of all ages stay motivated and committed to their treatment goals. Creative Exposures: Incorporating creative exposures into treatment can make confronting fears more engaging and less daunting for children. By turning exposures into interactive experiences, such as games or role-playing exercises, children can de

Fri, April 12, 2024

ADHD vs. Anxiety (with Dr. Ryan Sultan) | Ep. 381

Navigating the intricate landscape of mental health can often feel like deciphering a complex puzzle, especially when differentiating between conditions ADHD vs.anxiety . This challenge is further compounded by the similarities in symptoms and the potential for misdiagnosis. However, understanding the nuances and interconnections between these conditions can empower individuals to seek appropriate treatment and improve their quality of life. ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurodevelopmental condition characterized by symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. While commonly diagnosed in childhood, ADHD persists into adulthood for many individuals, affecting various aspects of their daily lives, from academic performance to personal relationships. On the other hand, anxiety disorders encompass a range of conditions marked by excessive fear, worry, and physical symptoms such as heart palpitations and dizziness. The intersection of ADHD and anxiety is a topic of significant interest within the mental health community. Individuals with ADHD often experience anxiety, partly due to the challenges and frustrations stemming from ADHD symptoms. Similarly, the constant struggle with focus and organization can exacerbate feelings of anxiety, creating a cyclical relationship between the two conditions. A critical aspect of differentiating ADHD from anxiety involves examining the onset and progression of symptoms. ADHD is present from an early age, with symptoms often becoming noticeable during childhood. In contrast, anxiety can develop at any point in life, triggered by stressors or traumatic events. Therefore, a thorough evaluation of an individual's history is vital in distinguishing between the two. Moreover, the manifestation of symptoms can offer clues. For example, while both ADHD and anxiety can lead to concentration difficulties, the underlying reasons differ. In ADHD, the inability to focus is often due to intrinsic attention regulation issues. In anxiety, however, the concentration problems may arise from excessive worry or fear that consumes cognitive resources. Understanding the unique and overlapping aspects of ADHD and anxiety is crucial for effective treatment. For ADHD, interventions typically include medication, such as stimulants, alongside behavioral strategies to enhance executive functioning skills. Anxiety disorders, meanwhile, may be treated with a combination of psychotherapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), and, in some cases, medication to manage symptoms. The integration of treatment modalities is paramount, particularly for individuals experiencing both ADHD and anxiety. Addressing the ADHD symptoms can often alleviate anxiety by imp

Fri, April 05, 2024

Is Faith Helping Or Hindering Your Recovery (With Justin K Hughes) | Ep. 380

Exploring the relationship between faith and recovery, especially when it comes to managing Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , reveals a complex but fascinating landscape. It's like looking at two sides of the same coin, where faith can either be a source of immense support or a challenging factor in one’s healing journey. On one hand, faith can act like a sturdy anchor or a comforting presence, offering hope and a sense of purpose that's invaluable for many people working through OCD. This aspect of faith is not just about religious practices; it's deeply personal, providing a framework that can help individuals make sense of their struggles and find a pathway towards recovery. The sense of community and belonging that often comes with faith can also play a crucial role in supporting someone through their healing process. However, it's not always straightforward. Faith can get tangled up with the symptoms of OCD , leading to situations where religious beliefs and practices become intertwined with the compulsions and obsessions that characterize the disorder. This is where faith can start to feel like a double-edged sword, especially in cases of scrupulosity, where religious or moral obligations become sources of intense anxiety and compulsion. The conversation around integrating faith into recovery is a delicate one. It emphasizes the need for a personalized approach, recognizing the unique ways in which faith intersects with an individual's experience of OCD. This might involve collaborating with religious leaders, incorporating spiritual practices into therapy, or navigating the complex ways in which faith influences both the symptoms of OCD and the recovery process. Moreover, this discussion sheds light on a broader conversation about the intersection of psychology and spirituality. It acknowledges the historical tensions between these areas, while also pointing towards a growing interest in understanding how they can complement each other in the context of mental health treatment. In essence, the relationship between faith and recovery from OCD highlights the importance of a compassionate and holistic approach. It's about finding ways to respect and integrate an individual's spiritual beliefs into their treatment, ensuring that the journey towards healing is as supportive and effective as possible. This balance is key to harnessing the positive aspects of faith, while also navigating its challenges with care and understanding. Justin K. Hughes, MA, LPC, owner of Dallas Counseling, PLLC, is a clinician a

Fri, March 29, 2024

Fix this Error in Thinking (if you want to be less anxious) | Ep. 379

Now fix this one error in thinking if you want to be less anxious or depressed, either one. Today, we are going to talk about why it is so important to be able to identify and challenge this one error in your thinking. It might be the difference between you suffering hard or actually being able to navigate some sticky thoughts with a little more ease. Let’s do it together. Welcome back, everybody. My name is Kimberley Quinlan. I’m an anxiety and OCD specialist, and I am so excited to talk with you about this very important cognitive error or error in thinking that you might be engaging in and that might be making your life a lot harder. This is something I catch in myself quite regularly, so I don’t want you to feel like you’re wrong or bad for doing this behavior, but I also catch it a lot in my patients and my students. So, let’s talk about it.  The one error you make is black-and-white thinking . This is a specific error in thinking, or we call it a cognitive distortion, where you think in absolutes. And I know, before you think, “Okay, I got the meat of the episode,” stay with me because it is so important that you identify the areas in your life in which you do this. You mightn’t even know you’re doing it.  Again, often we’ve been thinking this way for so long, we start to believe our thoughts. Now, one thing to know, and let’s do a quick 101: we have thoughts all day. Everybody has them. We might have all types of thoughts, some helpful, some unhelpful. But if you have a thought that’s unhelpful or untrue and you think it over and over and over and over again, you will start to believe it. It will become a belief. Just like if you have a lovely, helpful thought and you think that thought over and over and over again, you will start to believe that too.  And what I want you to know is often, for those with mental health struggles, whether that be generalized anxiety, panic disorder, depression, eating disorders, OCD , PTSD, social anxiety, the list goes on and on, one thing a lot of these disorders have in common is they all have a pretty significant level of errors in thinking that fuel the disorder, make the disorder worse, prevent them from recovering. My hope today is to help you identify where you are thinking in black and white so we can get to it and apply some tools, and hopefully get you out of that behavior as soon as possible.  Here are some examples of black-and-white thinking that you’re probably engaging in in some area of your life.  The first one is, things are all good or they’re all bad. An example might be, “My body is bad.” That there are good bodies and bad bodies. There are good people and bad people. There are good thoughts and bad thoughts. That’s very t

Fri, March 22, 2024

11 Things I Tell My Patients in Their First Session of OCD Treatment | Ep. 378

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a challenging condition, but the good news is that it's highly treatable. The key to effective management and recovery lies in understanding the condition, embracing the right treatment approaches, and adopting a supportive mindset. This article distills essential guidance and expert insights, aiming to empower those affected by OCD with knowledge and strategies for their treatment journey. YOU ARE BRAVE FOR STARTING OCD TREATMENT Taking the first step towards seeking help for OCD is a significant and brave decision. Acknowledging the courage it takes to confront one’s fears and commit to treatment is crucial. Remember, showing up for therapy or seeking help is a commendable act of bravery. YOU CAN GET BETTER WITH OCD TREATMENT OCD treatment , particularly through methods like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), has shown considerable success. These evidence-based approaches are supported by extensive research, indicating significant potential for individuals to reclaim their lives from OCD’s grasp. The path may not lead to a complete eradication of symptoms, but substantial improvement and regained control over one’s life are highly achievable. OCD TREATMENT IS NOT TALK THERAPY OCD therapy extends beyond the realms of conventional talk therapy, involving specific exercises, homework, and practical worksheets designed to confront and manage OCD symptoms directly. These tools are integral to the treatment process, allowing individuals to actively engage with their treatment both within and outside therapy sessions. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “BAD” THOUGHTS A pivotal aspect of OCD treatment involves changing how individuals perceive their thoughts and their control over them. It's essential to recognize that thoughts, regardless of their nature, do not define a person. Attempting to control or suppress thoughts often exacerbates them, which is why therapy focuses on techniques that allow individuals to accept their thoughts without judgment and reduce their impact. YOU CAN NOT CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS, BUT YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR BEHAVIORS You will have intrusive thoughts and feelings. This is a part of being human, and it is not in your control. However, you can learn to pivot and change your reactions to these intrusive thoughts, feelings, sensations, urges, and images.  YOU HAVE MANY OCD TREATMENT OPTIONS While medication can be a valuable part of OCD treatment, par

Fri, March 15, 2024

Stop Doing These Things if You Have Panic Attacks | Ep. 377

In the realm of managing anxiety and panic attacks , we often find ourselves inundated with advice on what to do . However, the path to understanding and controlling these overwhelming experiences also involves recognizing what not to do. Today, we shed light on this aspect, offering invaluable insights for those grappling with panic attacks.  Stop doing these things if you are having panic attacks, and do not forget to be kind to yourself every step of the way.  1. DON'T TREAT PANIC ATTACKS AS DANGER It's a common reaction to perceive the intense symptoms of a panic attack —rapid heartbeat, dizziness, or a surge of fear—as signals of immediate danger. However, it's crucial to remind ourselves that while these sensations are incredibly uncomfortable, they are not inherently dangerous. Viewing them as mere sensations or thoughts rather than threats can create a helpful distance, allowing for more effective response strategies. 2. DON'T FLEE THE SCENE The urge to escape a situation where you're experiencing a panic attack is strong. Whether you're in a grocery store, on an airplane, or in a social setting, the instinct to run away can be overwhelming. However, leaving can reinforce the idea that relief only comes from escaping, which isn't a helpful long-term strategy. Staying put, albeit challenging, helps break this association and builds resilience. 3. DON'T ACCELERATE YOUR ACTIONS During a panic attack, there might be a tendency to speed up your actions or become hyper-vigilant in an attempt to alleviate the discomfort quickly. This response, however, can signal to your brain that there is a danger, perpetuating the cycle of panic. Slowing down your breath and movements can alter your brain's interpretation of the situation, helping to calm the storm of panic. 4. AVOID RELIANCE ON SUBSTANCES Turning to alcohol or recreational drugs as a quick fix to dampen the intensity of a panic attack can be tempting. Nonetheless, this can lead to a dependency that ultimately exacerbates the problem. It's important to let panic's intensity ebb and flow naturally, without leaning on substances that offer only a temporary and potentially harmful reprieve. 5. STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP Self-criticism and judgment can add fuel to the fire of anxiety and panic. It's vital to adopt a compassionate stance towards yourself, recognizing that experiencing panic attacks doesn't reflect personal failure or weakness. Embracing self-kindness can significantly mitigate the added stress of self-judgment, creating a more supportive environment for recovery. SEEKING SUPPORT Remember, you're not alone in this struggle. Whether through therapy, online courses, or community support, reach

Fri, March 08, 2024

20 Phrases to Use when you are Anxious | Ep. 376

Anxiety can often feel like a relentless storm, clouding your thoughts and overwhelming your sense of calm. It's during these turbulent times that finding the right words can be akin to discovering a lifeline amidst the chaos.  To aid you in navigating these stormy waters, we've curated a list of 20 empowering phrases based on expert advice. These phrases are designed to validate your feelings, soothe your inner critic, fill you with encouragement, and help you respond proactively to anxiety. Here's how you can incorporate them into your life to foster resilience, kindness, and self-compassion. VALIDATE THE DIFFICULTY "This is hard, and it's okay that it's hard for me." Acknowledge the challenge without judgment. "I'm doing the best I can in this moment." Remind yourself of your effort and resilience. "My feelings are valid and understandable." Affirm the legitimacy of your emotions. "I am human, and having a difficult day is okay." Normalize the ups and downs of human experience. "I give myself permission to feel this while being kind to myself." Embrace your feelings with compassion. SOOTHE THE CRITICAL VOICE "This is not my fault." Release unwarranted guilt and blame. "It’s okay that I’m not perfect." Celebrate your humanity and imperfections. "It's okay to make mistakes." View errors as opportunities for growth. "My challenges do not define my worth." Separate your worth from your struggles. "May I be gentle with myself as I navigate this difficult season?" Practice self-compassion and kindness. FILL YOURSELF WITH ENCOURAGEMENT "It's a beautiful day to do hard things." Empower yourself to face challenges. "I can tolerate this discomfort." Recognize your strength and resilience. "This anxiety or discomfort will not hurt me." Acknowledge your capacity to withstand anxiety. "Humans are innately resilient." Remind yourself of your inherent ability to overcome adversity. "I am more than my worst days." Focus on the breadth of your life’s narrative. GET CLEAR ON YOUR RESPONSE TO ANXIETY "I REFUSE to lead a life based on fear." Commit to acting on your values. "I choose to speak to myself with understanding and patience." Cultivate a compassionate inner dialogue. "I have already chosen how I'm going to respond, and now I'm going to honor that decision." Preemptively d

Fri, March 01, 2024

Why teen depression is at an all-time high (with Chinwe Williams) | Ep. 375

THE RISING TIDE OF TEEN DEPRESSION: UNDERSTANDING AND ADDRESSING A MODERN CRISIS In recent times, the specter of teen depression has loomed larger than ever before, casting a long shadow over the lives of young individuals across the globe. With reports indicating a significant upsurge in cases of depression among adolescents, the need to unravel the complexity of this issue and explore effective strategies for intervention has never been more urgent. At the heart of the matter is the alarming statistic that suicide rates among teenagers aged 15 to 19 have surged by 76% since 2007, with a particularly distressing increase observed in teen girls. The rates of suicide have doubled among female teens compared to their male counterparts, underscoring a gendered dimension to the crisis. Moreover, the youngest demographic, children between the ages of 10 and 14, has witnessed the highest rate of increase in suicide across all age groups, a fact that underscores the severity and early onset of mental health challenges in today's youth. This escalation in teen depression and suicidal ideation can be attributed to a myriad of factors, ranging from societal pressures and the rapid pace of cultural shifts to the unique challenges posed by the digital age. The omnipresence of social media and technology, while offering new avenues for connection, has paradoxically fostered a sense of isolation and disconnection among adolescents. The digital landscape, with its relentless comparison and instant feedback loops, has exacerbated feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and despair among young people. Furthermore, the impact of depression is not confined to any single demographic. Contrary to previous beliefs that African-American families were less likely to experience suicidal ideation, recent research has unveiled an elevated risk among African-American boys aged five to 11. This revelation challenges preconceived notions about the protective factors supposedly inherent in certain communities and underscores the indiscriminate nature of mental health challenges. The narrative surrounding teen depression and despair is further complicated by the conflation of despair with clinical depression. While depression is a diagnosable condition characterized by a specific set of symptoms persisting over time, despair can embody similar feelings of hopelessness and sadness without necessarily meeting the criteria for a clinical diagnosis. This distinction is crucial for understanding the breadth and depth of the emotional turmoil experienced by adolescents, which may not always fit neatly into diagno

Fri, February 16, 2024

What it is REALLY like to be an Anxiety Therapist | Ep. 374

In the realm of mental health, the role of an anxiety therapist is often shrouded in mystery and misconceptions. To shed light on this crucial profession, Joshua Fletcher, also known as AnxietyJosh , shares insights from his latest book, " And How Does That Make You Feel? : Everything You (N)ever Wanted to Know About Therapy," in a candid conversation with Kimberley Quinlan on her podcast. Joshua's book aims to demystify the therapeutic process, offering readers an intimate look behind the therapy door. It's not just a guide for those struggling with anxiety but an engaging narrative that invites the general public into the world of therapy. The book's unique angle stems from a simple yet intriguing question: Have you ever wondered what your therapist is thinking? One of the book's key revelations is the humanity of therapists. Joshua emphasizes that therapists, like their clients, are complex individuals with their own vices, flaws, and inner dialogues. The book begins with a scene where Joshua, amidst a breakthrough session with a client, battles an array of internal voices—from the biological urge to use the restroom to the critical voice questioning his decision to drink an Americano right before the session. This honest portrayal extends to the array of voices that therapists and all humans contend with, including anxiety, criticism, and analytical thinking. Joshua's narrative skillfully normalizes the internal chatter that professionals experience, even as they maintain a composed exterior. The conversation also touches upon the diverse modalities of therapy, highlighting the importance of finding the right approach for each individual's needs. Joshua jests about "The Yunger Games," a fictional annual event where therapists from various modalities compete, underscoring the passionate debates within the therapeutic community regarding the most effective treatment methods. A significant portion of the book delves into the personal growth and challenges therapists face, including dealing with their triggers and the balance between professional detachment and personal empathy. Joshua shares an anecdote about experiencing a trigger related to grief during a session, illustrating how therapists navigate their emotional landscapes while maintaining focus on their clients' needs. The awkwardness of encountering clients outside the thera

Fri, February 09, 2024

Living with Depression: Daily Routines for Mental Wellness | Ep. 373

In the realm of mental health, the significance of structured daily routines for depression cannot be overstated. Kimberley Quinlan, an anxiety specialist with a focus on mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and self-compassion, emphasizes the transformative impact that Daily Routines for Depression can have on individuals grappling with this challenging condition. Depression , characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest in once-enjoyable activities, affects every aspect of one's life. Quinlan stresses that while professional therapy and medication are fundamental in the treatment of depression, integrating specific daily routines into one's lifestyle can offer a complementary path toward recovery and mental wellness. THE POWER OF MORNING ROUTINES FOR DEPRESSION Starting the day with a purpose can set a positive tone for individuals battling depression. Quinlan recommends establishing a consistent wake-up time to combat common sleep disturbances associated with depression. Incorporating light physical activity, such as stretching or a gentle walk, can significantly boost mood. Mindfulness practices, including meditation , journaling, or gratitude exercises, can help foster a healthier relationship with one's thoughts and emotions. Additionally, a nutritious breakfast can provide the necessary energy to face the day, an essential component of "Daily Routines for Depression." DAYTIME ROUTINES FOR DEPRESSION Throughout the day, setting realistic goals and priorities can help maintain focus and motivation. Quinlan advocates for the inclusion of pleasurable activities within one's schedule to counteract the anhedonia often experienced in depression. Techniques like the Pomodoro Method can aid in managing tasks without becoming overwhelmed, breaking down activities into manageable segments with short breaks in between. Exposure to natural light and ensuring a balanced diet further contribute to improving mood and energy levels during the day. EVENING ROUTINES FOR DEPRESSION As the day draws to a close, engaging in a digital detox and indulging in relaxation techniques become crucial. Limiting screen time and investing time in hobbies or skills can provide a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. Establishing a calming bedtime routine , including activities like reading or taking a bath, can enhance sleep quality, an essentia

Fri, February 02, 2024

Increasing Distress Tolerance (with Joanna Hardis) | Ep. 372

In the insightful podcast episode featuring Joanna Hardis, author of "Just Do Nothing: A Paradoxical Guide to Getting Out of Your Way," listeners are treated to a deep dive into the concept of distress tolerance and its pivotal role in mental health and personal growth. Joanna Hardis, with her extensive background in treating anxiety disorders such as panic disorder, OCD , and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, shares her professional and personal journey toward understanding and teaching the art of effectively managing internal discomfort without resorting to avoidance or escape tactics. The discussion begins with an exploration of the title of Joanna's book, " Just Do Nothing ," which encapsulates the essence of her therapeutic approach: the intentional practice of stepping back and allowing thoughts, feelings, and sensations to exist without interference. This practice, though seemingly simple, challenges the common impulse to engage with and control our internal experiences, which often exacerbates suffering. A significant portion of the conversation is dedicated to " distress intolerance ," a term that describes the perceived inability to endure negative emotional states. This perception leads individuals to avoid or escape these feelings, thereby increasing vulnerability to a range of mental health issues including anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Joanna emphasizes the importance of recognizing and altering the self-limiting beliefs and thoughts that fuel distress intolerance. Practical strategies for enhancing distress tolerance are discussed, starting with simple exercises like resisting the urge to scratch an itch and gradually progressing to more challenging scenarios. This gradual approach helps individuals build confidence in their ability to manage discomfort and makes the concept of distress tolerance applicable to various aspects of life, from parenting to personal goals. Mindfulness is highlighted as a crucial component of distress tolerance, fostering an awareness of our reactions to discomfort and enabling us to respond with intention rather than impulsivity. The podcast delves into the importance of connecting with our values and reasons for enduring discomfort, which can provide the motivation needed to face challenging situations. Joanna and Kimberley also touch on the common traps of negative self-talk and judgment that can arise during distressing moments, advocating for a more compassionate and accepting stance towards oneself. The i

Fri, January 26, 2024

Overcoming Visual Staring OCD (with Matt Bannister) | Ep. 371

Visual Staring OCD (also known as Visual Tourrettic OCD), a complex and often misunderstood form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, involves an uncontrollable urge to stare at certain objects or body parts, leading to significant distress and impairment. In an enlightening conversation with Kimberley, Matt Bannister shares his journey of overcoming this challenging condition, offering hope and practical advice to those grappling with similar issues. Matt's story begins in 2009, marked by a sense of depersonalization and dissociation, which he describes as an out-of-body experience and likened to looking at a stranger when viewing himself in the mirror. His narrative is a testament to the often-overlooked complexity of OCD , where symptoms can extend beyond the stereotypical cleanliness and orderliness. Kimberley's insightful probing into the nuances of Matt's experiences highlights the profound impact of Visual Staring OCD on daily life. The disorder manifested in Matt as an overwhelming need to maintain eye contact, initially with female colleagues, out of fear of being perceived as disrespectful. This compulsion expanded over time to include men and intensified to such a degree that Matt felt his mind couldn't function normally. The social implications of Visual Staring OCD are starkly evident in Matt's recount of workplace experiences. Misinterpretation of his behavior led to stigmatization and gossip, deeply affecting his mental well-being and leading to self-isolation. Matt's story is a poignant illustration of the societal misunderstandings surrounding OCD and its variants. Treatment and recovery form a significant part of the conversation. Matt emphasizes the role of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) in his healing process. However, he notes the initial challenges in applying these techniques, underscoring the necessity of a tailored approach to therapy. Kimberley and Matt delve into the power of community support in managing OCD. Matt's involvement with the IOCDF (International OCD Foundation) community and his interactions with others who have overcome OCD, like Chris Trondsen, provide him with valuable insights and strategies. He speaks passionately about the importance of self-compassion, a concept introduced to him by Katie O'Dunne, and how it transformed his approach to recovery. A critical aspect of Matt's journey is the realization and acceptance of his

Fri, January 19, 2024

5 Most Common Recovery Roadblocks (with Chris Tronsdon) | Ep. 370

If you want to know the 5 Most Common Recovery Roadblocks with Chris Tronsdon (an incredible anxiety and OCD therapist), you are in the right place. Today Chris and I will go over the 5 Most common anxiety, depression, & OCD roadblocks and give you 6 highly effective treatment strategies you can use today.  Kimberley: Welcome everybody. We have the amazing Chris Trondsen here with us today. Thank you for coming, Chris. Chris: Yes, Kim, thanks for having me. I’m super excited about being here today and just about this topic. Kimberley: Yes. So, for those of you who haven’t attended one of the IOCDF Southern California conferences , we had them in Southern California. We have presented on this exact topic, and it was so well received that we wanted to make sure that we were spreading it out to all the folks that couldn’t come.  You and I spoke about the five most common anxiety & OCD treatment roadblocks, and then we gave six strategic solutions. But today, we’re actually broadening it because it applies to so many people. We’re talking about the five most common anxiety treatment roadblocks, with still six solutions and six strategies they can use. Thank you for coming on because it was such a powerful presentation. Chris: No, I agree. I mean, we had standing room only, and people really came up to us afterwards and just said how impactful it was. And then we actually redid it at the International OCD Foundation , and it was one of the best-attended talks at the event. And then we got a lot of good feedback, and people kept messaging me like, “I want to hear it. I couldn’t go to the conference.” I’d play clips for my group, and they’re like, “When is it going to be a podcast?” I was like, “I’ll ask Kim.” I’m glad you said yes because I do believe for anybody going through any mental health condition, this list is bound, and I think the solutions will really be something that can be a game changer in their recovery. Kimberley: Absolutely, absolutely. I love it mostly because, and we’re going to get straight into these five roadblocks, they’re really about mindset and going into recovery. I think it’s something we’re not talking about a lot. We’re talking about a lot of treatment, a lot of skills, and tools, but the strategies and understanding those roadblocks can be so important. Chris: Yeah. I did a talk for a support group. They had asked me to come and speak, and I just got this idea to talk about mindset. I did this presentation on mindset, and people were

Fri, January 12, 2024

The Tools You Need (Part Two: 2024 Mental Health Recovery Plan) | Ep. 369

Welcome back, everybody. This is Part 2 of Your 2024 Mental Health Plan, and today we are going to talk about the specific tools that you need to supercharge your recovery. This podcast is called Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today, we are going to discuss all the tools that you are going to have in your tool belt to use and practice so that you can get to the recovery goals that you have. Let’s go. For those of you who are here and you’re ready to get your toolkit, what I encourage you to do first is go back to last week and listen to Part 1 of this two-part series, which is where we do a mental health recovery audi t. We go through line by line and look at a bunch of questions that you can ask yourself, journal them down, and find specifically what areas of recovery you want to work on this year.  Now, even if you’re listening to this as a replay and it’s many years later, that’s fine. You can pick this up at any point. This episode and last week’s episode actually came from me sitting down a few weeks ago and actually going, “Okay, Kimberley, you need to catch up and get some things under control here.” You can do this at any time in a month from now or a year from now. We’re here today to talk about tools, so let’s get going.  First, we looked at, when we did our audit, the general category. The general question was, how much distress are you under? How much time is it taking up, and how do you feel or what are your thoughts about that distress? That is a very important question. Let’s just start there. That is an incredibly important question because how you respond to your distress is a huge indicator of how much you will suffer.  If you have anxiety and your response is to treat it like it’s important, try to get it to go away, and spend your time ruminating and wrestling, you’re going to double, triple, quadruple your suffering. You’re already suffering by having the anxiety, but we don’t want to make it worse.  If you’re having intrusive thoughts and you respond to them as if they’re important and need to be solved, again, we’re going to add to our suffering. If you have grief, shame, or depression and you’re responding to that by adding fuel to the fire, by adding negative thoughts, or by saying unkind things to yourself, you’re going to feel worse. How do you respond?  WILLINGNESS Tool #1 you’re going to need in this category is willingness . When you identify that you’re having an emotion, how willing are you to make space for that emotion? I’m not saying give it your at

Fri, January 05, 2024

Your Mental Health Plan for 2024 (Part One: Your Recovery Audit) | Ep. 368

If you need a mental health plan for 2024, you are in the right place. This is a two-part series where we will do a full recovery audit. And then next week, we’re going to take a look at the key tools that you need for Your Anxiety Toolkit . We call it an anxiety toolkit here, so that's exactly what you’re here to get. The first step of this mental health plan for 2024 is to look at what is working and what isn’t working and do an inventory of the things that you’re doing, the safety behaviors, the behaviors you’re engaging in, and all the actions that you’re engaging in that are getting in the way of your recovery. Now what we want to do here is, once we identify them, we can break the cycle. And then we can actually start to have you act and respond in a very effective way so that you can get back to your life and start doing the things that you really, really wanted to do in 2023 but didn’t get to. If you’re listening to this in many years to come, same thing. Every year, we have an opportunity to do an audit—maybe even every month—to look at what’s working and what’s not. Let’s do it. Now, one thing I want you to also know here is this is mostly an episode for myself. A couple of weeks ago, I was not coping well. I consider myself as someone who has all the skills and all the tools, and I know what to do, and I’m usually very, very skilled at doing it. However, I was noticing that I was engaging in some behaviors that were very ineffective, that had not the best outcomes, and were creating more suffering for myself.  Doing what I do, being an anxiety specialist, and knowing what I know as a therapist, I sat down and I just wrote it all out. What am I engaging in? What’s the problem? Where am I getting stuck? And from there, naturally, I did a mental health audit. And I thought, to be honest with you, you guys probably need such a thing as well, so let’s do it together. Here is what I did. Let’s get started with this mental health audit that we’re going to do today.  FOUR RECOVERY AUDIT CATEGORIES  General Perspective  Safety Behaviors  Safety  Mindset  What we’re going to do is we’re going to break it down into four main categories. The first category is your general perspective of your mental health, your recovery, and your internal emotional experience.  The second category is the safety behaviors you’re engaging in. A safety behavior is a beh

Fri, January 05, 2024

Your Mental Health Plan for 2024 (Part One: Your Recovery Audit) | Ep. 368

f you need a mental health plan for 2024, you are in the right place. This is a two-part series where we will do a full recovery audit. And then next week, we’re going to take a look at the key tools that you need for Your Anxiety Toolkit . We call it an anxiety toolkit here, so that's exactly what you’re here to get. The first step of this mental health plan for 2024 is to look at what is working and what isn’t working and do an inventory of the things that you’re doing, the safety behaviors, the behaviors you’re engaging in, and all the actions that you’re engaging in that are getting in the way of your recovery. Now what we want to do here is, once we identify them, we can break the cycle. And then we can actually start to have you act and respond in a very effective way so that you can get back to your life and start doing the things that you really, really wanted to do in 2023 but didn’t get to. If you’re listening to this in many years to come, same thing. Every year, we have an opportunity to do an audit—maybe even every month—to look at what’s working and what’s not. Let’s do it. Now, one thing I want you to also know here is this is mostly an episode for myself. A couple of weeks ago, I was not coping well. I consider myself as someone who has all the skills and all the tools, and I know what to do, and I’m usually very, very skilled at doing it. However, I was noticing that I was engaging in some behaviors that were very ineffective, that had not the best outcomes, and were creating more suffering for myself.  Doing what I do, being an anxiety specialist, and knowing what I know as a therapist, I sat down and I just wrote it all out. What am I engaging in? What’s the problem? Where am I getting stuck? And from there, naturally, I did a mental health audit. And I thought, to be honest with you, you guys probably need such a thing as well, so let’s do it together. Here is what I did. Let’s get started with this mental health audit that we’re going to do today.  FOUR RECOVERY AUDIT CATEGORIES  General Perspective  Safety Behaviors  Safety  Mindset  What we’re going to do is we’re going to break it down into four main categories. The first category is your general perspective of your mental health, your recovery, and your internal emotional experience.  The second category is the safety behaviors you’re engaging in. A safety behavior

Fri, December 22, 2023

Could I Have PTSD or Trauma?

Kimberley: Could I have PTSD or trauma? This is a question that came up a lot following a recent episod e we had with Caitlin Pinciotti, and I’m so happy to have her back to talk about it deeper. Let’s go deeper into PTSD , trauma, what it means, who has it, and why we develop it. I’m so happy to have you here, Caitlin. Caitlin: Yes, thank you for having me back. INTRODUCING CAITLIN PINCIOTTI Kimberley: Can you tell us a little bit about you and all the amazing things you do? Caitlin: Of course. I’m an assistant professor in the Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences Department at Baylor College of Medicine. I also serve as the co-chair for the IOCDF Trauma and PTSD in OCD Special Interest Group. Generally speaking, a lot of my research and clinical work has specifically focused on OCD, PTSD, and trauma, in particular when those things intersect, what that can look like, and how that can impact treatment. I’m happy to be here to talk more specifically about PTSD. WHAT IS PTST VS TRAUMA? Kimberley: Absolutely. What is PTSD? If you want to give us an understanding of what that means, and then also, would you share the contrast of—now you hear more in social media—what PTSD is versus trauma ? Caitlin: Yeah, that’s a great question. A lot of people use these words interchangeably in casual conversation, but they are actually referring to two different things. Trauma refers to the experience that someone has that can potentially lead to the development of a disorder called post-traumatic stress disorder. When we talk about these and the definitions we use, trauma can be sort of a controversial word, that depending on who you ask, they might use a different definition. It might be a little bit more liberal or more conservative.  I’ll just share with you the definition that we use clinically according to the DSM. Trauma would be any sort of experience that involves threatened or actual death, serious injury, or sexual violence, and there are a number of ways that people can experience it. We oftentimes think of directly experiencing trauma. Maybe I was the one who was in the car accident. But there are other ways that people can experience trauma that can have profound effects on them as well, such as witnessing the

Fri, December 15, 2023

Radical Acceptance (When Things Get HARD) | Ep. 366

Radical acceptance when things get hard can be a very difficult practice. In fact, it can be almost impossible. When things get hard, one of the things we often do is we spend a lot of time ruminating about why it’s so hard and what we could have done to prevent it from being so hard. And, instead of using radical acceptance , we often go into beating ourselves up, telling ourselves, “We should have done this; we could have done that. If only we had looked at it this way or treated it this way.” I want us to really zoom in on these safety behaviors that you’re probably doing. Hopefully, today, you leave here committing to reducing or eliminating those behaviors. Now, I get it. When things are hard, we don’t want to feel the suffering that goes with it. I get it. I don’t want to feel it either. You’re not alone. But when things are hard, often, instead of letting it be hard and feeling our feelings and being kind to ourselves so that we can move into effective behaviors, we get stuck resisting the emotions and doing these other behaviors that increase the shrapnel of the event. I call it ‘shrapnel’ because it does look like that. It creates more damage around us. Let’s look at how we might prevent this.  HUMANS SUFFER You’re suffering. The reason I know this is because you’re a human being, and all human beings have sufferings in their lives. Some of us, more than others. If you’re in a season where the suffering is high, I would basically say, the higher the level of suffering, the more you need to listen in. Maybe listen to this multiple times, get your notepad out, and let’s really go to work.  SOLVING DOESN’T ALWAYS WORK When you’re suffering and your suffering is high, again, it’s very normal to want to solve why you’re suffering, thinking that yes, that may prevent it from happening in the future, prevent us from having more pain, or prevent us from having to feel our feelings. That’s effective behavior, except... if you’re relying on that and you’re spending too much time doing that, chances are, you’re increasing your shrapnel. If that’s the case, let’s talk about other alternatives.  When we’re going through difficult things, there is a strong pull toward figuring out why. But my guess is, if you haven’t solved it yet, chances are you won’t. I know this is true for me. It might be true for you, but you’ve probably already identified the problem of one of the things that may be if, in 20/20 hindsight, you could have done differently. And that’s okay, right? There’s many times I’ve looked back and been like, “Yeah, it didn’t handle that well,” or “That didn’t go as well. Maybe now, knowing what I know, I could have done something diff

Fri, December 08, 2023

Is ERP Traumatizing? (with Dr. Amy Mariaskin) | Ep. 365

Kimberley: Is ERP traumatizing? This is a question I have been seeing on social media or coming up in different groups in the OCD and OCD-related disorders field. Today, I have Amy Mariaskin, PhD , here to talk with us about this idea of “Is ERP traumatizing” and how we might work with this very delicate but yet so important topic. Thank you, Amy, for being here. WHY MIGHT PEOPLE THINK ERP IS TRAUMATIC?  Kimberley: Let’s just go straight to it. Why might people be saying that ERP is traumatic or traumatizing? In any of those kinds of terms, why do you think people might be saying this? Amy: I think there’s a number of reasons. One of which is that a therapy like ERP, which necessitates that people work through discomfort by moving through it and not moving around it or sidestepping it, is different than a lot of other therapies which are based more on support, validation, et cetera, as the sole method. It’s not to say that ERP doesn’t have that. I think all good therapy has support and validation. However, I think that’s part of it. The fact that’s baked into the treatment, you’re looking at facing discomfort and really changing your relationship with discomfort. I think when people hear about that, that’s one reason that it comes up. And then another reason, I think, is that there are people who have had really negative experiences with ERP . I think that while that could be true in a number of different therapeutic modalities and with a number of different clinicians and so forth, it is something that has gained traction because it dovetails with this idea of, well, if people are being asked to do difficult things, then isn’t that actually going to deepen their pain or worsen their condition rather than alleviate it? That’s my take. Kimberley: When I first heard this idea or this experience, my first response was actual shock because, as an ERP therapist and someone who treats OCD, I have seen it be the biggest gift to so many people. I’ve heard even Chris Trondsen, who often will say that this gave him his life back, or—he’s been on the show—Ethan Smith, or anyone really who’s been on the show talk about how it’s the most, in their opinion, like the most effective way to get your life back and get back to life and live your life and face fear and all of those things.  DO PEOPLE FEEL ERP IS A DIFFICULT TREATMENT? I had that first feeling of surprise and shock, but also then asked more questions an

Fri, December 01, 2023

Compassionate OCD recovery (with Ethan Smith) | Ep. 364

Kimberley: Welcome back, Ethan Smith. I love you. Tell me how you are. First, tell me who you are. For those who haven’t heard of your brilliance, tell us who you are. Ethan: I love you. My name is Ethan Smith , and I’m a national advocate for the International OCD Foundation and just an all-around warrior for OCD , letting people know that there’s help and there’s hope. That’s what I’ve dedicated my life to doing. Kimberley: You have done a very good job. I’m very, very impressed. Ethan: I appreciate that. It’s a work in progress. Kimberley: Well, that’s the whole point of today, right? It is a work in progress. For those of you who don’t know, we have several episodes with Ethan. This is a part two, almost part three, episode, just catching up on where you’re at. The last time we spoke, you were sharing about the journey of self-compassion that you’re on and your recovery in many areas. Do you want to briefly catch us up on where you’re at and what it’s been like since we met last? Ethan: Yeah, for sure. We’ll do a quick recap, like the first three minutes of a TV show where they’re like, “So, you’re here, and what happened before?”  Kimberley: Previously on. Ethan: Yeah, previously, on real Ethans of Coweta County, which sounds super country and rural. The last time we spoke, I was actually really vulnerable. I don’t mean that as touting myself, but I said for the first time publicly about a diagnosis of bipolar. At that time, when we spoke, I had really hit a low—a new low that came from a very hypomanic episode, and it was not related to OCD. I found myself in a really icky spot. Part of the reason for coming or reaching that bottom was when I got better from OCD into recovery and maintenance, navigating life for the first time, really for the first time as an adult man in Los Angeles, which isn’t an easy city, navigating the industry, which isn’t the nicest place, and having been born with OCD and really that comprising the majority of my life. The next 10 years were really about me growing and learning how to live. But I don’t know that I knew that at the time. I really thought it was about, okay, now we’re going to succeed, and I’m going to make money, live all my dreams, meet my partner, and stuff’s going to happen because OCD is not in the way. That isn’t to say that that can’t happen, and that wasn’t necessary. I had some amazing life experiences. It wasn’t like I had a horrible nine years. There were some wonderful things. But one of the things that I learned coming to thi

Fri, November 24, 2023

What Do To When Feeling Hopeless | Ep. 363

Today, we are going to talk about what to do when feeling hopeless. Today’s episode was actually inspired by one of our amazing Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast listeners. They wrote in and asked a question about hopelessness , and I thought it was so important and so relevant in today’s day, with the news being scary and everybody struggling and still readjusting to COVID, mental health, and mental illnesses at an all-time high. I really felt that this was important for us to talk about. So, let’s do this together. We’re going to take it step by step, and we’re going to do it with a whole lot of self-compassion. So let’s talk about what to do when feeling hopeless.  Alright folks, here is the question that was posed to me. It goes like this: “I have been really struggling with hopelessness lately. It feels like my life has no real meaning, and I feel pretty aimless. The things in my life that I want to improve need so much work to improve, such as career, relationship, family stuff. And I have large parts that are out of my control, which feels pretty discouraging despite lots of effort to improve them. I’m working to accept these feelings and trying to stay out of rumination, but it does feel hopeless a lot of the time. What are you telling folks who are in a similar position?” Now, number one, I so resonate with this question. As a clinician, a human, a mom, and someone with a chronic illness, I hear you in this question, and I don’t think you’re alone. In fact, I am a member of a pretty large online group of therapists, and I wanted to do my homework for today. So I left the question, saying, when you have clients who are experiencing hopelessness and they’re feeling stuck, what do you say? A lot of them were coming with these such humble responses of saying, “To be honest, I tell them the truth, which is I don’t know the answer. I too struggle with this.” Or they’ll say, “I often let them know that they’re not alone in this and that this is such something that collectively we’re all going through.” And I loved that they were so real and dropped into reality on the truth of this, the pain of this, and the confusion of this topic.  Now, in addition to that, there were also some amazing pieces of advice, and some of them I really agreed with. I’m going to include them here when we go through specifically some tools that you can use to help you when you’re struggling with this feeling of hopelessness or feeling like what’s the point and feeling like there’s no meaning to life.  Let’s talk about it. Number one—let me just be real with you—is I too have struggled with this. In fact, it wasn’t that long ago that I actually sought out therapy for this specific issue. I looked around my life, and I have these two beautiful chi

Fri, November 17, 2023

When OCD and PTSD Collide (with Shala Nicely & Caitlin Pinciotti) | Ep. 362

Kimberley: Welcome, everybody. This is a very exciting episode. I know I’m going to learn so much. Today, we have Caitlin Pinciotti and Shala Nicely , and we’re talking about when OCD and PTSD collide and intertwine and how that plays out. This is actually a topic I think we need to talk about more. Welcome, Caitlin, and welcome, Shala. Caitlin: Thank you. Shala: Thanks. Kimberley: Okay. Let’s first do a little introduction. Caitlin, would you like to go first introducing yourself? Caitlin: Sure thing. I’m Caitlin Pinciotti. I’m a licensed clinical psychologist and an assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Baylor College of Medicine. I also serve as a co-chair for the IOCDF Trauma and PTSD and OCD SIG. If people are interested in that special interest group as well, that’s something that’s available and up and running now. Most of my research specifically focuses on OCD, trauma, and PTSD, and particularly the overlap of these things. That’s been sort of my focus for the last several years. I’m excited to be here and talk more about this topic. Kimberley: Thank you. You’re doing amazing work. I’ve loved being a part of just watching all of this great research that you’re doing. Shala, would you like to introduce yourself? Shala: Yes. I’m Shala Nicely. I am a licensed professional counselor, and I specialize in the treatment of OCD and related disorders. I am the author of Is Fred in the Refrigerator?: Taming OCD and Reclaiming My Life , which is my story, and then co-author with Jon Hershfield of Everyday Mindfulness for OCD: Tips, Tricks, and Skills for Living Joyfully . I also produce the Shoulders Back! newsletter . It has tips and resources for taming OCD. Kimberley: Shoulders Back! was actually the inspiration for this episode. Shala, you recently wrote an article about <a href= "https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/post-traumatic-ocd-whe

Fri, November 10, 2023

What Keeps Us Going (With Shaun Flores) | Ep. 361

When things get hard, it’s really quite difficult to find a reason to keep going. Today, we have an incredible guest,  Shaun Flores , talking about what keeps us going. This was a complete impromptu conversation. We had come on to record a podcast on a completely different topic. However, quickly after getting chatting, it became so apparent that this was the conversation we both desperately wanted to have. And so, we jumped in and talked about what it’s like in the moments when things are really difficult, when we’re feeling like giving up, we are hopeless, we’re not sure what the next step is. We wanted to talk about what does keep us going.  This is, again, a conversation that was very raw. We both talked about our own struggles with finding meaning, moving forward, and struggling with what keeps us going. I hope you find it as beautiful a conversation as I did. My heart was full for days after recording this, and I’m so honored that Sean came on and was so vulnerable and talked so beautifully about the process of finding a point and finding a reason to keep going. I hope you enjoy it just as much as I did. Shaun:  Thank you so much for being able to have this conversation. Kimberley: Can you tell us just a little background on you and what your personal, just general mental health journey has looked like? Shaun:  Yeah. My own journey of mental health has been a tumultuous one, to say the very least. For around five to six years ago, I would say I was living with really bad health anxiety to the point where I obsessed. I constantly had an STI or an STD. I’d go to the clinic backward and forward, get tested to make sure I didn’t have anything. But the results never proved to be in any way, shape, or form sufficient enough for me to be like, “Okay, cool. I don’t have anything.” I kept going back and forward.  How I knew that became the worst possible thing. I paid 300 pounds for the same-day test results. Just to give people’s perspective, 300 pounds is a lot. That’s when I was like, “There’s something wrong. I just don’t know what it is.” But in some ways, I thought I was being a diligent citizen in society, doing what I needed to do to make sure I take care of myself and to practice what was safe sex. But then that fear migrated onto this sudden overnight change where I woke up and I thought, “What if I was gay?”   overnight. I just quite literally woke up. I had a dream of a white guy in boxes, and I woke up with the most irrational thought that I had suddenly becom

Fri, November 03, 2023

How to be Uncomfortable (without Making it Worse) | Ep. 360

If you want to know how to be uncomfortable without making it worse, you’re in the right place. Today, we’re talking all about being uncomfortable and learning how to be uncomfortable in the most skillful, compassionate, respectful, and effective way. This applies to any type of discomfort, whether it be your thoughts, your feelings, any physical sensations, or the pain that you’re feeling. Anything that you’re experiencing as discomfort, we’re here to talk about it today. Let’s do it.  Welcome back, everybody. For those of you who are new, welcome. My name is Kimberley Quinlan. I’m a marriage and family therapist in the state of California. I’m an anxiety specialist, and I love to talk about being uncomfortable. It’s true, I don’t like being uncomfortable, but I love to talk about being uncomfortable, and I love talking about skillful ways to manage that.  WHAT IS DISCOMFORT, REALLY?  Now, before we get started, let’s first talk about what we mean by being uncomfortable. There are different forms of discomfort. One may be feelings or emotions that you’re having—shame, guilt, anxiety, sadness, anger. Whatever it is that you experience as a feeling can be interpreted and experienced as uncomfortable.  Another one is sensations. Physical sensations of anxiety , physical sensations of shame, and physical sensations of physical pain. I myself have a chronic illness. Physical sensations can be a great deal of discomfort for us as human beings. We’re also talking about that as well.  We’re also talking about intrusive thoughts , because thoughts can be uncomfortable too. We can have some pretty horrific, scary, mean, and demanding thoughts, and these thoughts can create a lot of discomfort within us.  What we want to do here is we want to first acknowledge that discomfort is a normal, natural part of life. It truly is. I know on social media, and I know in life, on TV, and in movies, it’s painted that there are a certain amount of things you can do, and if you were to attain those, well, then you would have a lot less discomfort. But as someone who is a therapist who has treated the widest range of people, I’ve learned that even when they reach fame, a lot of money, or a degree of success, we can see that they have some improved wellness. They do have some decrease in discomfort, but over time, they’re still going to have uncomfortable thoughts. Sometimes having those things creates more uncomfortable thoughts. T

Fri, October 27, 2023

How To Meditate To Reduce Anxiety | Ep. 359

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, you will learn how to meditate to reduce anxiety. You’ll also learn which meditation is best for anxiety and how to find a meditation practice that suits your lifestyle and your recovery needs. With the pressure of today’s society and the news being so scary, people are rapidly turning to meditation as a powerful tool to calm their minds and ease their anxiety. My name is Kimberley Quinlan . I am a licensed therapist and anxiety specialist, and my hope today is to teach you how you can use meditation to help manage and reduce your anxiety. What Is Meditation?  Now, what is meditation? Meditation is a training in awareness, and the goal is to help you get a healthy awareness and understanding of what is going on in your mind. So often, our minds are like a puppy. They are just going all over the place, jumping, skipping, yelling, screaming, and going in all different directions. If we aren’t skilled, and if we aren’t intentional with that, we can be off with that, off down the track in negative thinking, scary thinking, and depressive thinking.  The Benefits Of Meditation For Anxiety Relief There are many benefits of meditation for anxiety relief. Meditation helps train your brain. Now, there are so many benefits to meditation for anxiety relief, and I want to share with you some of those benefits. The first one is, it rewires your brain. It reduces the activity in the amygdala, which is the part of the brain that is responsible for the fear response. Meditation can also lower stress hormones such as cortisol. It can increase the production of those feel-good neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. This is really important, particularly if you struggle with depression.  It can also shift the brain chemistry and lead to improved mood, reduced anxiety, and an overall sense of well-being. We could also argue that this would be helpful for anybody, even if they don’t have anxiety.  We also know that meditation cultivates mindfulness, which we talk a lot about here on Your Anxiety Toolkit, which is the practice of being fully present and nonjudgmental in the moment. Meditation increases self-compassion and acceptance, which I think we all agree can help us with our mental health, and it helps reduce negative thinking patterns and also reduces self-criticism.  Common Problems People Have With Meditation Now,

Fri, October 20, 2023

I Am Scared to Take Medication (Managing Medication Anxiety) | Ep. 358

If you are scared to take medication, you are in the right place. Today, we are going to take a deep dive into a very common fear that impacts many people and their recovery, and that is the fear of taking medication. If you’re someone who needs help with this, I think this is going to be really helpful for you.  Hello, my name is Kimberley Quinlan. I am an anxiety specialist, and I help people with anxiety. My hope is to make it an easy and a kind recovery for you.  FEAR OR TAKING MEDICATION Now, today we’re talking about the fear of taking medication, and a lot of what I do with my patients in my private practice, which is in California, is really helping them work through that fear. In addition, on my online platform called CBT School , I often get a lot of questions about this, such as whether or not people can take meds, should they take meds, and so forth. But before we get into all that, what I want to share with you first are a few housekeeping points that will keep us on point and in the right direction today.  If you’re someone who is scared to take meds, we first have to acknowledge that this episode is not going to cover whether you should take meds or not. I am not a medical doctor. I am not a medical professional. I am a mental health professional, and I do not prescribe medication. I am not licensed to do that. But I am here to help you manage the fear around it. If you are someone who wants to take medication but is afraid of it because of the side effects, or maybe because of the shame, the guilt, and the stigma around it, my hope today is that we can work on managing that fear and getting you the information and skills you need so that you can speak with your medical professionals and make a decision based on what is best for you.  It is important to remember that every person is different, and it’s important that you make these decisions with your medical doctor so that we’re making a decision based on your medical history, where you’re at in your mental health recovery, your genetics—all of the things that you need to discuss with your medical doctor. But today, let’s get going. We’re talking about managing medication anxiety.  Where did this episode come from? I actually made a post about this on Instagram not long ago, and the response was overwhelming, with people saying, number one, “I’m too afraid to do it. Help me,” and number two, a lot of people said, “I had a lot of anxiety around taking medication. I got the help I needed and I managed it, and now I’m so relieved that I did.” I wanted to spend some time today talking about the reasons people are scared to take an antidepressant or other psychiatric medications or even medications in general.  REASONS PEO

Fri, October 13, 2023

GAD vs OCD (and How to Tell the Difference) | Ep. 357

If you are wondering if you have (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) GAD vs. OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and how to tell the difference, this episode is going to be exactly what you need.  My name is Kimberley Quinlan. I’m a cognitive behavioral therapist. I specialize in all anxiety disorders, and I help people overcome their anxiety in the kindest way possible. Now, I have treated generalized anxiety disorder and OCD for over 15 years, and I want to share with you that it is true—there is a massive overlap between OCD and GAD. They do look very similar. So I’m going to break it down and address the GAD and OCD overlap. Let’s go. GAD versus OCD. You might know this, but in the world of anxiety disorders, this is actually a very controversial topic right now. I’ve been to conferences and master classes where clinicians will very much disagree on how we differentiate between the two. In fact, some people believe that they are so similar that they should be labeled as the same thing. We don’t all agree, and the reason for that, as I said, is that they do look similar. They do follow a very similar cycle.  My hope is that in order to understand what GAD is and what OCD is, we need to actually go through the diagnostic criteria. And that’s what we’re going to do for you today so that you too can understand the difference between GAD and OCD and determine for yourself what you think will help move you in the right direction. Let’s talk about it.  GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER SYMPTOMS As I mentioned, in order to get a GAD diagnosis, you do have to have a specific set of symptoms, and we’re going to go through them.  Number one, if you have GAD, the first symptom you need to have is anxiety and worry, and that’s usually focused on everyday events like work, school, relationships, money, and so on. Now, the frequency of GAD needs to occur more days than not for at least six months. The person needs to find it difficult to control this worry and anxiety, and it focuses on areas that are not consistent with other mental health struggles.  What we mean by that is, let’s say the focus was on being judged by other people. Well, that’s better understood as social anxiety. Or if the focus of your worry was on your health, then we would actually be better diagnosing you or understanding your symptoms as health anxiety. If it was focused on a specific thing, like planes, needles, or vomit, we would better understand that as a specific phobia. In order to have the diagnosis of GAD,

Fri, October 06, 2023

How to Live According to Your Values, Not Fear | Ep. 356

If you want to live a life according to your values, not fear, you’re in the right place. I am going to give you a detailed look at how you can do this for yourself, but I will also show you how not to do this. Lots of people are talking about this idea of living life according to their values, not fear. I want to really inspire you, highlight the way that you can do this, and also show you how it cannot be done so well. I’ll actually give you some personal experiences. Hopefully, my goal here is to inspire you to live a life where your values lead the way and fear no longer makes your decisions. Your fear is no longer in the driver’s seat; you are. If that’s good for you, let’s go.  Hello, my name is Kimberley Quinlan. I’m a marriage and family therapist. I, myself, have struggled for many years with anxiety . In little ways, anxiety just took away the things I wanted, took me away from doing the things I wanted, showing up the way I wanted, and learning how to live a life according to my values, not fear, has literally changed my life.  Now, my hope here is that I can explain this to you. There have been times where my clients have said, “I’m hearing about this idea of values, but it literally doesn’t make any sense to me. Like, how would I navigate that?” So my hope here is to make it nice and clear, give you some clarity and some directions so that you too can live your life according to your values and not fear.  Now, the thing to remember here is that this idea of values has probably been spoken about in many different modalities, but the one that’s really popular right now that people are talking about is a type of therapy modality called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy . What they do is they talk about values as this idea of principles that govern how you want to act. Again, it’s not being perfect. It’s principles that are going to guide you.  Now, unlike just setting goals, values are never fully accomplished. They’re something that involves continuous behaviors. They’re small baby decisions and little pivots that you are going to make throughout your entire life, and they guide your choices and your decisions according to the person that you want to be, the kind of person you want to see yourself as, or that you identify with.  Now, often when we’re talking about values, the biggest question I get asked is, “How do I determine these values?” Let’s just stop for a minute and just talk about how we’re going to apply this.  </p

Fri, September 29, 2023

Perfectionism Anxiety (and the Dreaded Perfectionist Trap) | Ep. 355

Perfectionism anxiety almost destroyed my life. If you are someone who suffers from perfectionism, you know exactly what it’s like to be stuck in the perfectionistic trap. It’s hell, quite frankly. We’re here today to talk about how to overcome perfectionism and how to create a life where you can still succeed. You can still do the things you want just without being constantly anxious and depressed and never feeling like you’re enough.  Hello, my name is Kimberley Quinlan. I’m a marriage and family therapist. I’m an anxiety specialist, and I personally have walked the walk of perfectionism and have had to overcome it as it was starting to severely impact my life. I am so excited to be here with you today to talk all about perfectionism and perfectionism anxiety.  Now I am 15 years recovered from an eating disorder. I was personally completely overwhelmed with perfectionism anxiety, and I was in a perfectionism trap. So, let’s talk about it. First, let me give you a little bit of a personal update or a background. When I went off to college, I was really naive. I was wise and smart, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I had lived at home with my family on a rural farm, on a ranch, if you live in America, for my entire life. And then I went off to what was considered the big city for college, and I felt like I had to be perfect.  I had this belief as soon as I left my family that if I could be perfect, I would be safe. I would be emotionally safe. I would be physically safe, and as long as I could keep everything perfect, nothing bad would happen.  I also believe that if I could be perfect, people would not abandon me, disprove of me, or judge me. And so, I went out of my way to make sure everything was as perfect as I could make it, even though I understood that I wasn’t perfect. I was on a mission to try and get to the top of that hill and stay at the top of that hill. It was a protective measure, a safety behavior I engaged in to manage the anxiety and overwhelm I felt going off to college.  I also believe that if I could stay perfect, it would protect me from really uncomfortable emotions like shame and guilt, and it would help me feel like I’m in control. I would try to give myself a false sense of control in a world where I felt very out of control. THE PERFECTIONISM TRAP Now, a big part of this was me understanding what we call the ‘perfectionism trap.’ The perfectionism trap is, yes, when you start perfecting yourself and perfecting your life, you start to get praised from people around you. You start to get rewarded for your perfectionistic behaviors. My grades started to improve because I was being perfectionistic. My bosses gave me extra shifts because I was so good at my job.  But the problem with that is, as I was getting better and trying to perfect everything in my life and please all of the people, I started to feel overwhelmed with all that I had taken

Fri, September 22, 2023

What if I never get better? – Tools & Strategies to Stay Hopeful & Focused on Recovery | Ep. 354

What if I never get better? This is a common and distressing fear that many people worry about. It can feel very depressing, it can be incredibly anxiety-provoking, and most of all, it can make you feel so alone. Today, I’m going to address the fear, “What if I never get better?” and share tools and strategies to stay hopeful and focused on your recovery. If you have the fear, “What if I never get better?” I want you to settle in. This is exactly where you need to be. I want to break this episode down into two specific sections. So, when we are talking about “What if I never get better?” we’re going to talk about first the things I don’t have control over, and then the things we do have control over. That will determine the different strategies and tools we’re going to use. Before we do that, though, let’s talk about first validating how hard it is to recover. Recovery is an incredibly scary process. It can feel defeating; it can feel, as I said, so incredibly lonely. When we’re thinking about recovery, we often compare it to other people’s recovery, and that’s probably what makes us think the most. Like, will I ever recover? Will I get to be like those people who have? Or if you see people who aren’t recovering, you might fear, “What if I don’t recover either?” even if you’re making amazing steps forward. It can be an exhausting process that requires a lot of care, compassion, and thoughtful consideration. Most of all, recovery requires a great deal of hard work. Most people, by the time they come to me, are exhausted. They’ve given up. They don’t really feel like there’s any way forward. And I’m here to share with you that there absolutely is, and we’re going to talk about some strategies here today. Now, that being said, while all of those things are true—that it is hard and distressing and can be defeating—I wholeheartedly believe that recovery is possible for everyone. But what’s important is that we define recovery depending on the person. I do not believe that there is a strict definition of recovery, mainly because everybody is different, everybody’s values are different, and everybody’s capacity is different. So we want to be realistic and compassionate, and we want to make sure our expectations are safe and caring as we move towards recovery. Let’s talk about what that might look like. Again, it’s going to be different for every person.  WHAT IF I DON'T GET BETTER FROM OCD?  If we’re talking about recovery for OCD , let’s say we’re going to be talking about what’s realistic. Again, what’s compassionate? So, if someone comes to me and says, “I want my goal of recovery to be never to have anxiety and never have intrusive thoug

Fri, September 08, 2023

When Social Media Causes Anxiety (and Depression) | Ep. 353

[00:00:00] If social media causes anxiety, you will find this incredibly validated. Today, we are covering the nine reasons why social media causes anxiety and depression, and we will get specific about how you can overcome social media anxiety and depression. In a way that feels right to you, so let's go. If you hear yourself saying, social media gives me anxiety, you are not alone. In fact, many people say it gives them such overwhelm and panic they just want to shut it down completely. That is a common experience, and I want to provide a balanced approach here today. So, let's first look at some social media stats. Research shows that people use an average of 6.6 social media networks monthly. When I heard that, I thought that couldn't be true, but I counted the ones that I use, and it is. I thought that was [00:01:00] very interesting. That sounds like an incredibly massive amount of social media networks. But the average time spent on social media daily is two hours and 24 minutes, not weekly, daily. While 67% say they have a drop in self-esteem as they compare their lives to others they see on social media, 73% of people report. They also find solace and support in these platforms during tough times. We all experienced that during COVID-19, and I know that as someone who lives in America but is Australian, social media has allowed me to be friends with people from high school & college; I get to be connected with my parents' friends. I have found it to be an incredibly beautiful process, but today, we're looking specifically at how social media impacts our mental health, particularly how it causes anxiety and depression.  Now [00:02:00], we have some social media depression stats here as well. We do have research to show a link between social media use and depression. More than three hours on social media daily does increase your risk of mental health problems.  This study was done specifically for teens, but I think as adults, we could all agree that's probably true as well. There are also some social media addiction statistics that we want to know. We know that 39% of social media users report being addicted to social media, meaning they want to get off but can't. Or, they experience adverse experiences and consequences when they're not using it in moments of distress and needing to regulate. We may also look at some social media anxiety disorder statistics . Studies showed that around 32% of teenagers say social media increases their anxiety and hasn't had a [00:03:00] negative impact on people of their age.  However, I found it interesting that only 9% believed it was the case for themselves, but th

Fri, September 01, 2023

Am I doing ERP correctly? 3 Common OCD Traps | Ep. 352

Am I doing ERP correctly? This is a common roadblock I see every week in my private practice. I think it is a common struggle for people with anxiety and OCD. Today, we will talk about the three common OCD traps people fall into and how you can actually outsmart your OCD and overcome it. https://youtu.be/Ngb_lQK5Fnk?si=9FU42GZZZDJ58f-W Now, when we're talking about Expsoure & response prevention ERP , we must go over the basics of ERP therapy, so let's talk about what that means before we talk about the specific traps that we can fall into.  ERP is exposure and response prevention. It's a specific type of cognitive behavioral therapy and is the gold standard treatment for OCD to date.  And it's a detailed process, right? It's something that we [00:01:00] have to go through slowly. It's a detailed process where we first identify OCD obsessions and OCD intrusive thoughts. So, you'll identify precisely the repetitive, intrusive, and distressing things for you. Once we have a good inventory of your OCD obsessions, we then identify what specific OCD compulsions you are doing now. A compulsion is a behavior that you do to reduce or remove your anxiety, uncertainty, or doubt, or any kind of discomfort that you may be experiencing. And once we do that, then we can move towards exposing you to your fears. Exposure therapy for OCD involves exposing yourself to those specific obsessions. And then engaging in [00:02:00] response prevention, which is the reduction of using those compulsive safety behaviors. Now, common OCD response prevention will involve reducing physical behaviors, reducing avoidant behaviors, or reducing thought suppression. It's reducing reassurance, seeking, reducing mental compulsions, and in reducing any kind of self-punishment that you're engaging in to beat yourself up for the obsessions that you're having. Then we get you engaged back into doing the things you love to do; getting you back to engaging in your daily life, your daily functioning, the things that you find pleasurable, and your hobbies as soon as possible.  That's the whole goal of ERP. Right?  The important thing to remember here is that ERP therapy for OCD is greatly improved by adding in [00:03:00] other treatment modalities, such as <a href= "https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-what-is-act/#:~:te

Fri, August 25, 2023

Stopping Compulsions using Attention Control (with Max Maisel) | Ep. 351

If you are interested in stopping compulsions using attention control, this is the episode for you.  I am really excited for this episode. This was a deep dive into really how to fine-tune your mindfulness practice for an xiety and OCD . Today we have the amazing Max Maisel, who is an OCD and anxiety specialist here in California. He came on to talk about these really nuanced differences of mindfulness, where we might go wrong with mindfulness, how we can get a deeper understanding of mindfulness, and this idea of attentional control. The real thing that I took away from this is how beneficial it can be at reducing mental compulsions, putting our attention on the things that we value, putting our attention on what we want to put attention on, not in a compulsive way at all. In fact, we addressed that throughout the episode, and it’s just so, so good. I’m so grateful to you, Max, for coming on, and I just know you guys are going to love this episode. Now, we are talking about some pretty difficult things, like things that are hard to do. I even roleplayed and explained how hard it was for me to do it. I want, as you listen to this, for you to please practice an immense amount of self-compassion and recognition and acknowledgment of just how hard it is to do these practices and how we can always learn more. Hopefully, something in this episode clicks for you and feels very true for you and is hopefully very, very beneficial.  I’m going to go take you straight to the show because that’s what you’re here for. Have a wonderful day everybody, and enjoy this interview with Max Maisel .  Kimberley: Welcome. I am so excited for this episode, mainly because I actually think I’m going to leave learning a ton. We have the amazing Max Maisel here today. Welcome. Max: Thank you, Kim. It’s really good to be here. I’m super excited for our conversation. MINDFULNESS FOR OCD  Kimberley: Yeah. Okay. You know I use a lot of mindfulness. I am a huge diehard mindfulness fan, but I love that you have brought to us today, and hopefully will bring to us today, some ways in which we can drop deeper into that practice or zone in, or you might say a different word, like how to focus in on that. Tell me a little bit about how you conceptualize this practice of mindfulness and what you use to make

Fri, August 18, 2023

14 Things You Should Say to a Loved One with Anxiety | Ep. 350

Welcome back, everybody. This is a last-minute episode. I usually am really on schedule with my plan for the podcast and what I want to do, but I have recently got back from vacation and I have been summoned to jury duty.  For my own self-care, the idea of going to this master plan that I created for all of the other episodes that I do a lot of planning and a lot of prep and really think it through today, I was like, “I deeply need this episode to land on my own heart.” This is as much for me as it is for you, and it is a community effort, which also was very helpful for me.  As you may know, I’m a huge proponent of self-compassion , which isn’t just having bubble baths and lighting a candle. It’s actually stopping and asking, “What do you need in this moment?” And I really dropped in and I was like, “I need this to be really simple, really easy, and I need this to be also something that will land.” Let’s do it.  Today, we’re talking about the 14 things you should say to a loved one with anxiety. I asked everyone on Instagram to weigh in on what they need to hear, and the response was so beautiful, it actually brought me to tears.  I am going to share with you the 14 things that you should say to a loved one with anxiety, and I’m also going to talk about, it’s not just what we say. I was thinking about this the other day. When we’re anxious, the advice we get can make us feel very soothed and validated, or it can feel really condescending. Saying “stop worrying” can be really condescending. It can make us enraged. But if someone so gently says, “Listen, don’t worry, I got you.” You know what I mean? The tone makes a huge difference.  For those of you who are family members or loved ones who are listening to this, to really get some nuggets on what they can do to support their loved one, remember that the tone and the intent are really 80% of the work. That is so, so important. Here we go. Let’s go through them.  I AM HERE FOR YOU. The first thing you should say to a loved one with anxiety is, “I am here for you.” The beauty of this is it’s not saying, “How can I make your discomfort go away?” It’s not saying, “What should we do to fix this and make you stop talking about it and stop having pain about it?” It’s just saying, “I’m here, I’m staying in my lane and I’m going to be there to support you.” It’s beautiful.  HOW CAN I SUPPORT YOU? The second thing you could say to a loved one with anxiety is, and this is actually my all-time favorite, this is probably the thing I say the most to my loved ones when they’re anxious or going through a difficult time, “How can I supp

Fri, August 11, 2023

When Anxiety Causes Depression (and Vice Versa) | Ep. 349

Today, we’re talking about when anxiety causes depression and vice versa. This is a topic that I get asked about all the time. It can be really confusing and a lot of time, it’s one of those things that we talk about in terms of like, is it the chicken or the egg? I want to get to the bottom of that today.  When anxiety causes depression , it can feel like your world is spinning and racing from one thought to another. You may feel a complete loss of interest in the things that you’re doing. You may have racing thoughts, depressive thoughts, or thoughts of doom. This can be really, really overwhelming. Today, I want to talk about when anxiety causes depression and how you might target that, and also when depression causes anxiety. Let’s get into it. We’re going to go through a couple of things today. Number one is we’re going to go through why does anxiety cause depression , how does depression cause anxiety, how common is depression and anxiety, particularly when they’re together, and what to do when depression and anxiety mix. Now, stick around till the end because I’m also going to address how OCD causes depression and how social anxiety causes depression, and what to do when anxiety and depression impact your sleep, and in this case, cause insomnia. I’m so excited to do this. Let’s get started.  WHAT CAUSES ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION What causes anxiety and depression? Let’s look at that first.  What we understand is that anxiety and depression—we don’t entirely know just yet to be exact, but what we know so far is that there is a combination between genetics, biology, environment, and also psychological factors. That’s a big piece of what we’re going to be talking about today.  Now, if you want to know specifically the causes of anxiety , and that’s really what you’re wanting, you can actually go over to Episode 225 of Your Anxiety Toolkit . We have a whole episode there on what causes anxiety and what you can do to overcome anxiety. That might be a more in-depth understanding of that.  But just in general, we do know that genetics play a huge component. However, we do know, talking about the psychological factors, that often people who do have depression, that depression does cause an increase in anxiety. A lot of people who have an anxiety disorder do notice that they feel themes of depression like hopelessness, helplessness, and

Fri, August 04, 2023

Hyper-responsibility OCD | Ep. 348

Welcome back, everybody. It is so good to have you here talking about hyper-responsibility & hyperresponsibility OCD . A lot of you may not even know what that means and maybe have never heard it, or maybe you’ve heard the term but aren’t quite sure what it entails. And some of you are very well acquainted with the term hyper-responsibility. I thought, given that it’s a theme that’s laced through so many anxiety disorders through depression that we should address it. I think that’s a really great starting point. WHAT IS HYPER-RESPONSIBILITY OCD? Let’s talk about first what is hyper-responsibility. Hyper-responsibility is an inflated sense of responsibility. It is feeling responsible for things that are entirely out of your control, such as accidents, how other people feel about you, how other people behave, events happening in your life. It’s ultimately this overwhelming feeling that the world rests on your shoulders, that it’s up to you and it’s your job to keep yourself and everybody else safe. Even as we look at this definition of what hyper-responsibility is, I’m actually feeling and noticing in my body this heaviness, this weight that you’re carrying, and it is an incredible weight to carry. It is an incredibly stressful role to play. If you’re someone who experiences hyper-responsibility, you often will have additional exhaustion because of this.  WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HYPER-RESPONSIBILITY AND RESPONSIBILITY OCD? One thing I want to clear up as we move forward is first really differentiating the difference between hyper-responsibility and responsibility OCD. When we say “hyper-responsibility,” we’re talking about a heightened sense of responsibility. Actually, let me back up a little bit. We do have responsibility. I am an adult. I’m responsible for my body, I’m responsible for two young children, a dog. Responsibility is one thing. You need to keep them safe, you need to take care of them, you need to show up in respectful ways. But hyper-responsibility is so much more than that. It’s taking an incredible leap of responsibility and feeling responsible for all the teeny tiny things, like I said before, that are out of your control.  Now, once we’ve determined what responsibility is, then we can also look at responsibility OCD. Now specifically for those who have responsibility OCD is where this sense of hyper-responsibility has crossed over into meeting criteria for having the obsession of hyper-responsibility that’s repetitive, intrusive, unwanted, and you’re also engaging in a significant degree of compulsions that, again, meet criteria for OCD. They could be <a href= "https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/ep-2

Fri, July 28, 2023

Managing the Anxiety of Chronic Illness & Disability (with Jesse Birnbaum & Sandy Robinson) | Ep. 347

Kimberley: Welcome. This conversation is actually so near and close to my heart. I am so honored to have Jessie Birnbaum and Sandy Robinson here talking about Managing the anxiety of chronic illness and disability. Welcome and thank you both for being here. Sandy: Thank you for having us. Kimberley: For those of you who are listening on audio, we are three here today. We’re going to be talking back and forth. I’ll do my best to let you know who’s talking, but if anything, you can look at the transcripts of the show if you’re wondering who’s saying what. But I am so happy to have you guys here. You’re obviously doing some amazing work bringing awareness to those who have an anxiety disorder, specifically health anxiety OCD, panic disorder. These are all very common disorders to have alongside a chronic illness and disability. Jessie, will you go first in just telling us a little bit about your experience of managing these things?  Jessie: Yeah, of course. I’ve had OCD since I was a little kid but wasn’t diagnosed until around age 14, so it took a little while to get that diagnosis. And then was totally fine, didn’t have any physical limitations, played a lot of sports. And then in 2020, which seems like it would coincide with the pandemic (I don’t think it did), I started getting really physically sick. I started out with these severe headaches and has continued on and morphed into new symptoms, and has been identified as a general chronic illness. I’m still searching for an overall diagnosis, but I’ve seen a lot of different ways in which my OCD has made my chronic illness worse. And then my chronic illness has made my OCD worse, which is really why Sandy and I are so passionate about this topic. Kimberley: Thank you. Sandy, can you share a little about your experience? Sandy: Yeah. Just briefly, I was born really prematurely at about 14 weeks early, which was a lot. And then I was born chronically ill with a bowel condition and I also have a physical disability called [02:31 inaudible] palsy. And then I wasn’t diagnosed with OCD until I was 24, but looking back now, knowing what I do about OCD, I think I would say my OCD probably started around age three or something. So, quite young as well. Kimberley: You guys are talking about illnesses or medical conditions that create a lot of uncertainty in your life, which is so much of the work of managing OCD. Let’s start with you Jessie again. How do you manage the uncertainty of not having a diagnosis or trying to figure that out? Has that been a difficult process for you, or how have you managed that? Jessie: It has been such a difficult process because that’s what OCD latches onto, the uncertainty of things. That’s been really challenging with not having a specific diagnosis. I can’t say, “Oh, I have Cr

Fri, July 21, 2023

Thriving in Relationships with OCD (with Ethan Smith and Rev. Katie O’Dunne) | Ep. 346

Kimberley: My tummy already hurts from laughing too much. I’m so excited to have you guys on. Today, we are talking about thriving in relationships with OCD and we have Rev. Katie O’Dunne and Ethan Smith. I’d love for you both to do a quick intro. Katie, will you go first? Katie: Yeah, absolutely. My name is Reverend Katie O’Dunne. I always like to tell folks that I always have Reverend in my title because I want individuals to know that ordained ministers and chaplains can in fact have OCD . But I am super informal and really just go by Katie. I am an individual who works at the intersection between faith and OCD, helping folks navigate what’s religious scrupulosity versus what is true authentic faith. I’m also an OCD advocate on my own journey, helping individuals try to figure out what it looks like for them to move towards their values when things are really, really tough. Outside of being a chaplain and faith in OCD specialist and advocate, I’m also an ultramarathon runner, tackling 50 ultramarathons in 50 states for OCD. As we get into stuff with Ethan today, Ethan is my biggest cheerleader throughout all of those races. I’m sure we’ll talk all about that too, running towards our values together. Ethan: My name is Ethan Smith . Katie is my fiancé. I’m a national advocate for the International OCD Foundation, a filmmaker by trade, and a staunch advocate of all things OCD-related disorders. Definitely, my most important role is loving Katie and being her biggest cheerleader. Katie: Since you said that, one of my things too, I am the fiancé of Ethan Smith. Sorry. Ethan: Please note that this is an afterthought. It’s totally fine. Kimberley: No, she knew you were coming in with it. She knew. Ethan: Yeah, I was coming in hot. Yup, all good. WHAT IS IT LIKE BEING IN A  RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WITH OCD? Kimberley: Thank you both for being on. I think that you are going to offer an opportunity for people to, number one, thriving in Relationships with OCD, but you may also bring some insight on how we can help educate our partners even if they don’t have OCD and how they may be able to manage and navigate having a partner with OCD. I’m so excited to have you guys here. Thank you for being on. Can you first share, is it easier or harder to be in a relationship with someone with OCD? For you having OCD? Ethan: I’ll let Katie start and then I’ll end. Katie: Yes. No, I think it’s both. I think there are pros and cons wher

Fri, July 14, 2023

Motivation During Depression: How To Get Things Done | Ep. 345

Welcome back, everybody.  Alright, alright, alright. You may already notice the sound of my voice has shifted, the tone has shifted, and that is on purpose. Actually, I’ve never thought of this, but it’s true. I often show up when I’m ready to do a podcast. I sit in front of my microphone, I’m in front of my desk, I take a deep breath and I just talk to you from a place of centeredness and calm, gathering as much wisdom as I can. That is a part of what I’m bringing today. But my other hope is I want to shift the tone a little bit because that’s what you have to do when you’re addressing this particular topic, which is motivation during depression . We’re talking about how to get things done during depression. That’s what we’re here for today. Thank you for being here. My name is Kimberley Quinlan . I’m a marriage and family therapist. I’m an OCD and anxiety specialist, and a lot of what I do is manage depression. That is because nearly 85% of cases of an anxiety disorder also have depression. That’s because anxiety is hard and it creates these feelings of depression inside us.  Today, I wanted to talk about how to cultivate motivation during depression because so often when we’re talking about either just managing depression or managing another mental health condition, you’re usually required to do a lot of homework, use a lot of skills, and also go about daily functioning. That is really hard when you’re experiencing depression.  DEPRESSION MOTIVATION CYCLE One thing I wanted to talk about first is just to get you guys familiar with what we call the depression motivation cycle. This is something that I talk to my clients about. I wouldn’t say it’s a science-based theory, but definitely, I think a lot of us will resonate with this. What I mean by the depression motivation cycle is when you have depression, you experience symptoms of depression , which I’ll share here in just a few minutes. But you experience these symptoms that cause you to then have lower motivation. But when you have lower motivation, you tend to not get to your daily functioning activities and you tend to maybe avoid some of the hard things in your life, which then causes more depression. And then once you have more depression, that often ends up leading you back into the cycle of having even less motivation because you’re feeling so hopeless, and the cycle continues and continues and widens and widens and spreads throughout your life. My hope today is that we can work towards breaking that cycle. I’m not going to overpromise that w

Fri, July 07, 2023

How to Let Go of Intrusive Thoughts | Ep. 344

Welcome back, everybody. Today we are talking about a topic that I commonly get asked as a clinician, I commonly get asked as an advocate for anxiety online and so forth, which is how to let go of intrusive thoughts . I think that this is such an interesting question because words matter. For those of you who know me, you’re going to know that words really do matter when it comes to managing anxiety and we have to get it “right.” When I say “right,” what I’m really saying is our mindset about anxiety and intrusive thoughts and any emotion really that is uncomfortable, we have to approach it with a degree of skill, effectiveness, and wisdom. My hope is to help you move in that direction. I know you’re already in that direction, but hopefully, this episode will be really powerful. I’m going to give you a metaphor that I hope really, really helps you. It really helps me. I’ve talked about it on the podcast before, but I feel like it’s important so I have to talk about it again.  When we talk about this idea of how to let go of intrusive thoughts, we have to ask, what do we mean by that? Often when people first start seeing me as a clinician or they start seeing my therapist—we have a private practice in Calabasas, California —we commonly will get, “Okay, just I’m here. I’m ready to do the work. Teach me how to let go of intrusive thoughts.” A lot of the beginning stages of treatment is educating on how letting go, meaning not having them anymore or quickly avoiding them or distracting against that, could actually be what’s making your anxiety worse. For those of you who’ve taken ERP School , which is our online course for OCD. If you’re interested, you can go to CBTSchool.com to learn more about that course. That’s where you can learn how to manage your own OCD. It’s an on-demand course. But we talk a lot about understanding that trying to push thoughts away or suppress thoughts, not having them actually reinforces the problem. I also want to mention, it makes total sense that your goal is to be able to have the thoughts and have no discomfort related. Like I just want to have the thoughts and I don’t want them to bother me, and I just want them to create no suffering at all. I get that. That is a very normal desire to have. But what we want to do here is, when we’re talking about how to “let go” of intrusive thoughts, what we are really talking about is how we can be skillful in how we respond to them, because we know, based on science, that we can’t control our intrusive thoughts. Often there ar

Fri, June 30, 2023

Talking Back to Anxiety: The Power of Positive Self-talk  | Ep. 343

TALKING BACK TO ANXIETY Welcome back, everybody. Today we’re talking about talking back to anxiety, and we’re really talking about the power of positive self-talk.  Now I know when it comes to this idea of talking back to anxiety , it can get somewhat controversial. In fact, even talking about this idea of positive self-talk can be controversial, and I will be the first to say there is nothing worse than when you’re struggling with something that’s really painful. People say, “Oh, just be positive.” That is not what we’re talking about here today. In fact, I have a personal twist on how I like to consider a positive self-talk. You probably have heard me talk about it before, but I felt like it was time for me to revisit these concepts that I find so incredibly powerful when it comes to talking back to anxiety, or being positive, staying positive, engaging in some form of positive self-talk. WHAT DOES TALKING BACK TO ANXIETY LOOK LIKE?  Let’s talk about it. When we consider what we mean, when we say “talking back to anxiety,” what do I really mean by that? First of all, I want to get to one of the controversies. What I’m not saying is that when you have anxiety , you tell it to go away or stop, because we know that when we do that, when we try and suppress anxiety or we try to suppress our intrusive thoughts , it usually means we have more of them. Let’s just get that scientific fact out in the eye. We know that is true. But when we are talking about talking back to anxiety, when I’m talking about it, what I mean is, when you experience anxiety, whether that be in the form of sensations or in thoughts or feelings or images, how do you respond? How do you converse with your anxiety?  I always make a metaphor with my clients, and I’ve done it here on the podcast before, that I always think of anxiety as this little short Lorax-looking guy that sits on my shoulder. For you, it might look different. But he sits on my shoulder and he’s in a beach chair and he is really lazy and he is wearing sunglasses, and he just wants to mess with me as much as he can, but in the most effective, lazy way. And how does he do that? He does it by knowing exactly what bothers me and throwing that at me first. He’s not going to throw some random thing at me. He’s going to go straight for the thing that he knows I value, because that’s where my anxiety is going to show

Fri, June 23, 2023

Sleep Anxiety Relief | Ep. 342

Welcome back, everybody. Today we’re talking about sleep anxiety relief. We’re talking about how to get a good night’s rest. Oh, the beauty of a good night’s sleep. I can’t even tell you and I can’t even explain for me personally how much sleep impacts my mental health and my mental health impacts my sleep. Hence why we’re doing this episode today.  For those of you who are new, my name is Kimberley Quinlan. I’m a marriage and family therapist in the State of California. I have a private practice. I am the developer of an online program called CBTSchool.com. I’m an author and I am the host of this podcast.  A few weeks ago, a psychiatrist reached out and said, “I have been listening to you for years, not realizing that I work literally down the street from you.” It made me realize that I never introduced myself on the podcast. I just talk and talk and talk and I actually don’t tell people where I am and what I do and what I offer. So that was a really big lesson.  Let’s talk about sleep anxiety relief. I’m going to tell you a bit of a story first. For years, my daughter has been telling us that she can’t sleep, that she has terrible sleep. She lays awake, staring at the roof. She said she always feels tired during the day and that she “can’t get to sleep” when she tries. We have taken her to the pediatrician and we’ve talked to her about it and checked in, “Are you worrying about anything in particular?” She says, “No, I just worry about getting enough sleep.” Again, she’s saying, “When will I go back to sleep? Will I go back to sleep? Will I wake up at night?” She says she struggles to get comfortable as she settles into bed.  We took the plunge and took her to a sleep specialist and we were expecting either a sleep disorder diagnosis or a sleep anxiety diagnosis. He did this thorough assessment and asked her all these questions and he was incredible. At the end, he said, “I’m going to tell you, it sounds like you’re getting good sleep. You sound like you sleep very normally for a kid your age and we address some issues that may be happening.” But he said, “A lot of this is about managing anxiety about sleep,” because he tracked like, “You’re getting enough. We will track it during the night. Everything looked good. This is actually about you managing your mind around sleep.” Now I understand that may not be your experience, but this blew me off my feet. I was expecting serious bad news. I have this conversation with my patients so often and it made me feel like, let’s talk about sleep anxiety relief.  SLEEP ANXIETY SYMPTOMS  Now, before we talk about sleep anxiety relief, let’s talk about sleep anxiety symptoms because some people who don’t experience this or aren’t sure if they’re experiencing this, I wanted to make sure you feel like you’re in the

Fri, June 16, 2023

Acceptance Scripts (with Jon Grayson) | Ep. 341

Welcome back, everybody. Today we are talking about Acceptance Scripts with Dr Jon Grayson.  So happy to be here with you as we tie together our series on imaginals and scripts. Today, we have the amazing Dr. Jon Grayson and he is going to talk about acceptance scripts and the real importance of making sure we use acceptance when we’re talking about scripts and imaginals. I’m so excited to share this episode with you. I think it really does, again, tie together the two other guests that we’ve had on the show in this series.  For those of you who are listening to this and haven’t listened to the other two episodes of the series, go back two weeks. We’ve got the first one with Krista Reed and she’s talking about scripts and the way she uses them. Then we have Shala Nicely and she talks about her own specific way of using scripts. Again, the reason that I didn’t just have one person and leave it at that is I do think for each person, we have to find specific ways in which we do these skills and tools so we can make it specific to your obsessions and your intrusive thoughts. One explanation or one version or variety of this is probably not enough. I want to really deep dive in this series so that you feel, number one, you have a good understanding of what an imaginal and a script is. Number two, you know how to use them, you know the little nuanced pieces of information that you need to help make sure OCD and your OCD-related disorder doesn’t make it a compulsion because it can. I really wanted to get some groundwork so that you feel confident using imaginal and scripts in your own treatment and your own recovery. Again, for those of you who are a little lost and feel like you need a better understanding of OCD, of how OCD works, how it keeps you stuck, the cycle of OCD and you want to make your own individual OCD and ERP plan, you can go to CBTSchool.com. We have a full seven-hour course that will walk you through exactly how I do it with my patients, and you can do that at your own pace. It’s an on-demand course. It is not therapy, but it will help you if you don’t have access to therapy or if you’re really just wanting to understand and do a deep dive and understand what ERP is and how you can use it. That is there for you. But if you are someone who is just wanting to get to the good stuff, let’s go over to the episode with Dr. Jon Grayson. Thank you, Dr. Jon Grayson, for coming on the show again. Always a pleasure to have such amazing people who really know their stuff. I’ll enjoy this episode with you. Let’s go. Kimberley: Welcome, Dr. Jon Grayson. I’m so happy to have you back. Jon: It is always fun to be with you. Kimberley: Okay. It’s funny that you are number three, because I probably need you to be number one. Almost all of the scripting I ever learned was from your

Fri, June 09, 2023

ERP Scripting (with Shala Nicely) | Ep. 340

Today we are talking all about ERP Scripting with Shala Nicely. Welcome back, everybody. We are on Week 2 of the Imaginals and Script Series. This week, we have the amazing Shala Nicely on the show. She’s been on before. She’s one of my closest friends and I’m so honored to have her on.  For those of you who are listening to this and haven’t listened to any of the previous episodes, I do encourage you to go back to last week’s episode because that is where we introduce the incredible Krista Reed and she talks about how to use scripts and imaginals. I give a more detailed intro to what we’re here talking about if this is new for you. This will be a little bit of a steep learning curve if you’re new to exposure and response prevention. Let me just quickly explain. I myself, I’m an ERP-trained therapist, I am an OCD Specialist , and a part of the treatment of OCD and OCD-related disorders involve exposing yourself to your fear and then practicing response prevention, which is reducing any of the safety behaviors or compulsions you do in effort to reduce or remove whatever discomfort or uncertainty that you feel. Now, often when we go to expose ourselves to certain things, we can’t because they’re not something we can face on a daily basis or they’re often very creative things in our mind. This is where imaginals and scripts can come in and can be incredibly helpful.  If you want a more detailed understanding of the steps that we take regarding ERP, you can go to CBTSchool.com , which is where we have all our online courses. There is a course called ERP School that will really do a lot of the back work in you really understanding today’s session. You don’t have to have taken the course to get the benefits of today’s session because a lot of you I know already have had ERP or are in ERP as we speak, or your clinicians learning about ERP and I love that you’re here. Honestly, it brings me so much joy. But that is there for you if you’re completely lost on what’s going on today, and that will help fill you in on the gold standard treatment for OCD and the evidence-based treatment for OCD and OCD-related disorders.  That being said, let’s get on with the good stuff. We have the amazing Shala Nicely. I am so honored again to have you on. You are going to love how applicable and useful her skills and tools are. Let’s just get straight over to Shala.  Kimberley: Welcome, Shala. I am so happy to have you back. I know we have a pretty direct agenda today to talk about imag

Fri, June 02, 2023

Imaginals: “A Powerful Weapon” for OCD with Krista Reed | Ep. 339

Welcome back, everybody. Thank you for joining me again this week. I’m actually really excited to dive into another topic that I really felt was important that we address. For those of you who are new, this actually might be a very steep learning curve because we are specifically talking about a treatment skill or a tool that we commonly use in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and even more specifically, Exposure and Response Prevention. And that is the use of imaginals or what we otherwise call scripts. Some people also use flooding.  We are going to talk about this because there are a couple of reasons. Number one, for those of you who don’t know, I have an online course called ERP School. In ERP School , it’s for people with OCD , and we talk about how to really get an ERP plan for yourself. It’s not therapy; it’s a course that I created for those who don’t have access to therapy or are not yet ready to dive into therapy, where they can really learn how to understand the cycle of OCD, how to get themselves out of it, and gives you a bunch of skills that you can go and try. Very commonly, we have questions about how to use imaginals and scripts, when to use them, how often to use them, when to stop using them, when they become compulsive and so forth.  In addition to that, as many of you may not know, I have nine highly skilled licensed therapists who work for me in the state of California and Arizona, where we treat face-to-face clients. We’re actually in Los Angeles. We treat patients with anxiety disorders. I also notice that during my supervision when I’m with my staff, they have questions about how to use imaginals and scripts with the specific clients. Instead of just teaching them and teaching my students, I thought this was another wonderful opportunity to help teach you as well how to use imaginals and why some people misuse imaginals or how they misuse it. I think even in the OCD community, there has been a little bit of a bad rap on using scripts and imaginals, and I have found using scripts and imaginals to be one of the most helpful tools for clients and give them really great success with their anxiety and uncertainty and their intrusive thoughts.  Here we are today, it is again a start of another very short series. This is just a three-week series, talking about different ways we can approach imaginals and scripts and how you can use it to help manage your intrusive thoughts, and how you can use it to reduce your compulsions.  It is going to be three weeks, as I said. Today, we are starting off with the amazing Krista Reed. She’s been on the show before and she was actually the one who inspired this after we did the last episode together. She said, “I would love

Fri, May 26, 2023

Is Being Overly “Busy” A Compulsion? | Ep. 338

Welcome back, everybody. Today, we are going to have a discussion, and yes, I understand that I am here recording on my own in my room by myself, so it’s not really a discussion. But I wanted to give you an inside look into a discussion I had, and include you hopefully, on Instagram about a post I made about being busy.  Now, let me tell you a little bit of the backstory here. What we’re really looking at here is, is being busy a compulsion or an effective behavior? Here’s the backstory. I am an anxious person. Nice to meet you. Everybody knows it, I’m an anxious person. That’s what my natural default is. I have all the tools and practice using all the tools and continue to work on this as a process in my life. Not an end goal, but just a process that I’m always on, and I do feel like I handle it really, really well. In the grand scheme of things, of course, everyone makes mistakes and recovery is an up-and-down climb. We all know that. But one thing I have found over and over and over and over again is my inclination to rely on busyness to manage my anxiety.  The reason I tell you this over and over is it’s a default to me. When I’m struggling with anything, I tend to busy myself. Even when I had the beginning of an eating disorder, that quickly became a compulsive exercise activity because trying to manage my eating disorder created a lot of anxiety, and one way I could avoid that anxiety and check the eating disorder box was to exercise, move my body. Even though I fully recovered from that, and even though I consider myself to be doing really well mentally overall, I still catch myself relying on work and busyness as a compulsion, as a safety behavior to reduce or remove or avoid my anxiety.  I made a post on this and it had overwhelming positive responses. Meaning, I agree, there was a lot of like, “Oh, I feel called out or hashtag truth.” A lot of people were resonating with this idea that being busy can be a very sneaky compulsion that we do to run away from fear or uncertainty or discomfort or sadness and so forth. But then some of my followers, my wonderful followers came in hot—when I say “hot,” like really well—with this beautiful perspective on this topic and I really feel like it was valid and important for us to discuss here today. Let’s talk about that, because I love a good discussion and I love seeing it from both sides. I love getting into the nitty gritty and determining what is what. Let’s talk about me just because it’s easy for me to use an example. Let’s say I have a thought or a feeling of anxiety. Something is bothering me. I’m having anticipatory anxiety or uncertainty about something. My brain wants to solve it, but because I have all these <a href= "https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/ep-98-three-

Fri, May 19, 2023

How to be Happy (When You Have Anxiety) | Ep.337

Hello and welcome back, everybody. We have an amazing guest today. This is actually somebody I have followed, sort of half known for a long time through a very, very close friend, Shala Nicely, who’s been on the show quite a few times, and she connected me with Dr. Ashley Smith. Today, we are talking about happiness and what makes a “good life” regardless of anxiety or of challenges you may be going through.  Dr. Ashley Smith is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She’s the co-founder of Peak Mind , which is The Center for Psychological Strength. She’s a speaker, author, and entrepreneur. She has her own TED Talk , which I think really shows how epic and skilled she is.  Today, we talk about how to be happy. What is happiness? How do you get there? Is it even attainable? What is the definition of happiness? Do we actually want it or is it the goal or is it not the goal? I think that this is an episode I needed to hear so much. In fact, since hearing this episode as we recorded it, I basically changed quite a few things. I will be honest with you, I didn’t actually change things related to me, but I changed things in relation to how I parented my children. I realized midway through this episode that I was pushing them into the hamster wheel of life. Ashley really helped me to acknowledge and understand that it’s not about success, it’s not about winning things, it’s not about achievement so much, while they are very important. She talks about these specific things that science and research have shown to actually improve happiness.  I’m going to leave it at that. I’m going to go right over to the show. Thank you, Dr. Ashley Smith , for coming on. For those who want to know more about her, click the links in the show notes, and I cannot wait to listen back to this with you all. Have a great day, everybody.  Kimberley: Welcome, Dr. Ashley Smith. I’m so happy to have you here. Dr. Ashley: I am excited to be here today. I’ve wanted to be on your podcast for years, so thank you for this. Kimberley: Same. Actually, we have joint friends and it’s so good when you meet people through people that you trust. I have actually followed you for a very long time. I’m very excited to have you on, particularly talking about what we’re talking about. It’s a topic we probably should visit more regularly here on the show. We had discussed the idea of happiness and what makes a good life. Can you give me a brief understan

Fri, May 12, 2023

How to handle 10/10 Anxiety | Ep. 336

Hello and welcome back, everybody. I’m so happy to be here with you. This is not the normal format in which we do Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, but I wanted to really address a question that came up in ERP School about how to manage 10 out of 10 anxiety.  For those of you who don’t know, over at CBTSchool.com , we have a whole array of courses—courses for depression , generalized anxiety, panic , OCD, hair pulling , time management, mindfulness. We have a whole vault of courses. In fact, we have a new one coming out in just a couple of weeks, which is a meditation vault. It will have over 30 different meditations. The whole point of this is, often people say to me that the meditations that they listen to online can become very compulsive. It’s things like, “Oh, just let go of your fear or make your fear go. Cleanse away and dissolve,” and all the things. That’s all good. It’s just, it’s hard for people with severe anxiety to conceptualize that. That whole vault will be coming out very, very soon.  But this is actually a question directly from ERP School . Under each video of all the courses, there is always a place you can ask questions, and I do my best to respond to them as soon as I can. But I did say to this student, I will actually do an entire podcast on your question because I think it’s so important.  Here is what they said: “Hi Kimberley, I love all the information you give us. I get so much more out of this than I do with a therapy session for one hour once a week. That being said, I’m feeling a little bit overwhelmed. There is just so much information and so many tools.”  Yes guys, I admit to that. I do tend to heavy-dose all of my courses with all the science. I can bring in as many tools as I can with the point being that I want you to feel like you have a tool belt of tools, in which you can then choose which one you want to use, so I totally get what they’re saying here.  They said: “When I’m at a 10 out of 10, I’m hardly able to function and it all seems to go out the window. It either seems that noticing works as I run through my list of tools or I can’t even think straight enough to check in with myself or even think about the tools I could use. So, where do I even start in those terrible moments?” This is a really good question, and I think every single one of my clients in my

Fri, May 05, 2023

PMS + Anxiety + PMDD | Ep 335

Welcome back, everyone. I am so happy to do the final episode of our Sexual Health and Anxiety Series. It has been so rewarding. Not only has it been so rewarding, I actually have learned more in these last five weeks than I have learned in a long time. I have found that this series has opened me up to really understanding the depth of the struggles that happen for people with anxiety and how it does impact our sexual health, our reproductive health, our overall well-being. I just have so much gratitude for everyone who came on as guests and for you guys, how amazing you’ve been at giving me feedback on what was helpful, how it was helpful, what you learn, and so forth.  Today, we are talking about PMS and anxiety, and it is so hopeful to know that there are people out there who are specifically researching PMS and anxiety and depression, and really taking into consideration how it’s impacting us, how it’s affecting treatment, how it’s changing treatment, how we need to consider it in regards to how we look at the whole person. Today, we have the amazing  Crystal Edler Schiller  on. She is a Psychologist, Assistant Professor, and Associate Director of Behavioral Health for the University of North Carolina Center for Women’s Mood Disorders. She provides therapy for women who experience mood and anxiety symptoms across the lifespan. She talks about her specific research and expertise in reproductive-related mood disorders. She was literally the perfect person for the show, so I’m so excited.  In today’s episode, we talked about PMS , PMDD , the treatments for these two struggles. We also just talked about those who tend to have an increase in symptoms of their own anxiety disorder or mood disorder when at different stages of their menstrual cycle. I found this to be so interesting and I didn’t realize there were so many treatment options. We talked about how we can implement them and how we may adjust that depending on where you are in terms of your own recovery already.  I’m going to leave it there and get straight over to the show. Thank you again to Crystal Schiller for coming on, and I hope you guys enjoy it just as much as I did. Kimberley: Thank you so much for being here, Crystal. This is a delight. Can you just share quickly anything about you that you w

Fri, April 28, 2023

Menopause, Anxiety, & Your Mental Health | Ep. 334

In this week's podcast episode, we talked with Dr. Katherine Unverferth on Menopause, anxiety, and mental health. We covered the below topics: How do we define peri-menopause and menopause ?  What causes menopause?  Why do some have more menopausal symptoms than others?  Why do some people report rapid rises in anxiety (and even panic disorder) during menopause.  Is the increase in anxiety with menopause biological, physiological, or psychological?  Why do some people experience mood differences or report the onset of depression during menopause?  What treatments are avaialble to help those who are suffering from menopause (or perimenopause) and anxiety and depression? Welcome back, everybody. I am so happy to have you here. We are doing another deep dive into sexual health and anxiety as a part of our Sexual Health and Anxiety Series. We first did an episode on sexual anxiety or sexual performance anxiety . Then we did an episode on arousal and anxiety . That was by me. Then we did an amazing episode on sexual side effects of antidepressants with Dr. Aziz . And then last week, we did another episode by me basically going through all of the sexual intrusive thoughts that often people will have, particularly those who have OCD .  This week, we are deep diving into menopause and anxiety. This is an incredibly important episode specifically for those who are going through menopause or want to be trained to understand what it is like to go through menopause and how menopause impacts our mental health in terms of sometimes people will have an increase in anxiety or depression. This week, we have an amazing guest coming on because this is not my specialty. I try not to speak on things that I don’t feel confident

Fri, April 21, 2023

Sexual Intrusive Thoughts | Ep.333

Welcome. This is Week 4 of the Sexual Health and Anxiety Series. I have loved your feedback about this so far. I have loved hearing what is right for you, what is not right for you, getting your perspective on what can be so helpful. A lot of people are saying that they really are grateful that we are covering sexual health and anxiety because it’s a topic that we really don’t talk enough about. I think there’s so much shame in it, and I think that that’s something we hopefully can break through today by bringing it into the sunlight and bringing it out into the open and just talking about it as it is, which is just all good and all neutral, and we don’t need to judge. Let’s go through the series so far. In Episode 1 of the series, we did sexual anxiety or sexual performance anxiety with Lauren Fogel Mersy. Number two, we did understanding arousal and anxiety. A lot of you loved that episode, talking a lot about understanding arousal and anxiety . Then last week, we talked about the sexual side effects of anxiety and depression medication or antidepressants with Dr. Sepehr Aziz. That was such a great episode. This week, we’re talking about sexual intrusive thoughts.  The way that I structured this is I wanted to first address the common concerns people have about sexual health and intimacy and so forth. Now I want to talk about some of the medical pieces and the human pieces that can really complicate things. In this case, it’s your thoughts. The thoughts we have can make a huge impact on how we see ourselves, how we judge ourselves, the meaning we make of it, the identity we give it, and it can be incredibly distressing. My hope today is just to go through and normalize all of these experiences and thoughts and presentations and give you some direction on where you can go from there. Because we do know that your thoughts, as we discussed in the second episode, can impact arousal and your thoughts can impact your sexual anxiety.  SEXUAL OCD OBSESSIONS Let’s talk a little bit today about specific sexual intrusive thoughts . Now, sexual intrusive thoughts is also known as sexual obsessions. A sexual obsession is like any other obsession, which is, it is a repetitive, UNWANTED—and let’s emphasize the unwanted piece—sexual thought. There are all different kinds of sexual intrusive thoughts that you can have. For many

Fri, April 14, 2023

Sexual Side Effects of Anxiety Medication (& Antidepressants) | Ep. 332

Hello and welcome back everybody. We are on Week 3 of the Sexual Health and Anxiety Series. At first, we talked with the amazing Lauren Fogel Mersy about sexual anxiety or sexual performance anxiety. And then last week, I went into depth about really understanding arousal and anxiety , how certain things will increase arousal, certain things will decrease it, and teaching you how to get to know what is what so that you can have a rich, intimate, fulfilling life.  We are now on Week 3. I have to admit, this is an episode that I so have wanted to do for quite a while, mainly because I get asked these questions so often and I actually don’t know the answers. It’s actually out of my scope. In clinical terms, we call it “out of my scope of practice,” meaning the topic we’re talking about today is out of my skill set. It’s out of my pay grade. It’s out of my level of training.  What we’re talking about this week is the sexual side effects of antidepressants or anxiety medications, the common ones that people have when they are anxious or depressed. Now, as I said to you, this is a medical topic, one in which I am not trained to talk about, so I invited Dr. Sepehr Aziz onto the episode, and he does such a beautiful job, a respectful, kind, compassionate approach to addressing sexual side effects of anxiety medication, sexual side effects of depression medication. It’s just beautiful. It’s just so beautiful. I feel like I want to almost hand this episode off to every patient when I first start treating them, because I think so often when we’re either on medication or we’re considering medication, this is a really common concern, one in which people often aren’t game to discuss. So, here we are. I’m actually going to leave it right to the doctor, leave it to the pro to talk all about sexual side effects and what you can do, and how you may discuss this with your medical provider. Let’s do it. Kimberley: Welcome. I have been wanting to do this interview for so long. I am so excited to have with us Dr. Sepehr Aziz. Thank you so much for being here with us today. Dr. Aziz: Thanks for having me. Kimberley: Okay. I have so many questions we’re going to get through as much as we can. Before we get started, just tell us a little about you and your background, and tell us what you want to tell us. Dr. Aziz: Sure. Again, I’m Dr. Sepehr Azi

Fri, April 07, 2023

Anxiety and Arousal | Ep. 331

Welcome back, everybody. We are on Episode 2 of the Sexual Health and Anxiety Series. Today, I will be the main host and main speaker for the episode, talking about arousal and anxiety . This is a topic that goes widely misunderstood, particularly in the OCD and anxiety field where people are having arousal that they can’t make sense of. It’s also very true of people with PTSD. They’re having arousal that makes no sense to them, that confuses them, that increases anxiety, increases shame, increases guilt, and from there, it all becomes like a huge mess to them. It becomes incredibly painful, and it’s just so messy they can’t make sense of it.  My hope with this episode is to help you understand the science behind arousal and the science behind arousal and anxiety so that you can move forward and manage your anxiety around arousal and manage your shame and guilt and sadness and grief around arousal, and have a better relationship with your body and with yourself and your soul. Now, these are more difficult conversations. I have talked about them in the past, and so I want you just to go into this really, really gentle, really open with con compassion and kindness, and curiosity. Your curiosity is going to help you immensely as you move through this series, as you move through some of the difficult conversations we’re going to have, maybe a little bit embarrassing, humiliating, and so forth. Even me telling my kids that I’m so excited, I’m doing a series on sexual health, they’re like, “Mom, you can’t talk about that to other people.” I’m like, “Yes, I can. We’re going to talk about it. Hopefully, when you’re old enough, you’ll be able to listen to this and you’ll be so glad that we’re having conversations around this and taking the shame and stigma, and misinformation out of it.” I’m going to go straight into the episode. This is our episode on understanding arousal and anxiety. We are going to come on next week talking about an entirely different subject about sexual health and intimacy, sex and anxiety , and arousal and anxiety. I am so excited. Stick around. Enjoy every bit of it. Take as many notes as you can, but please, please be kind to yourself. Let’s get to the show. ANXIETY AND AROUSAL Let’s get into the episode. Let me preface the episode by, we’re talking about anxiety and arousal. If I could have one person on the podcast, it would be Emily Nagoski. I have been trying to get her on the podcast for a while. We will get her on eventu

Fri, March 31, 2023

Sexual Anxiety (with Dr Lauren Fogel Mersy) | Ep. 330

You guys, I am literally giggling with excitement over what we are about to do together.  Last year, we did a series, the first series on Your Anxiety Toolkit where we talked about mental compulsions. It was a six-part series. We had some of the best therapists and best doctors in the world talking about mental compulsions. It was such a hit. So many people got so much benefit out of it. I loved it so much, and I thought that was fun, let’s get back to regular programming. But for the entire of last year after that series, it kept bugging me that I needed to do a series on sexual health and anxiety. It seems like we’re not talking about it enough. It seems like everyone has questions, even people on social media. The algorithm actually works against those who are trying to educate people around sex and sexual side effects and arousal and how anxiety impacts it. And so here I am. No one can stop us. Let’s do it.  This is going to be a six-part sexual health and anxiety series, and today we have a return guest, the amazing Lauren Fogel Mersy. She is the best. She is a sex therapist. She talks all about amazing stuff around sexual desire, sexual arousal, sexual anxiety. She’s going to share with you, she has a book coming out, but she is going to kick this series off talking about sexual anxiety, or we actually also compare and contrast sexual performance anxiety because that tends to better explain what some of the people’s symptoms are.  Once we go through this episode, we’re then going to meet me next week where I’m going to go back over. I’ve done an episode on it before, but we’re going to go back over understanding arousal and anxiety. And then we’re going to have some amazing doctors talking about medications and sexual side effects. We have an episode on sexual intrusive thoughts. We have an episode on premenstrual anxiety. We also have an episode on menopause and anxiety. My hope is that we can drop down into the topics that aren’t being covered enough so that you feel like you’ve got one series, a place to go that will help you with the many ways in which anxiety can impact us when it comes to our sexual health, our sexual arousal, our sexual intimacy. I am so, so, so excited. Let’s get straight to it.  This is Episode 1 of the Sexual Health and Anxiety Series with Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy. Lauren is a licensed psychologist. She’s a certified sex therapist, she’s an author, and she is going to share with us and we’re going to talk in-depth about sexual anxiety. I hope you enjoy the show. I hope you enjoy all of the episodes in this series. I cannot wait to listen to these amazing speakers—Lauren, being the first one. Thank you, Lauren. What Is Sexual Anxiety Or Sexual Performance Anxiety? Are They The Same Thing? Kimberley: Welcome. I am so happy to have you back, Dr. <a hre

Fri, March 24, 2023

Make FUN a priority | Ep. 329

Welcome back, everybody. I had a whole other topic planned to talk with you about today and I’ve had to basically bench it because I feel so compelled to talk to you about this topic, which is the topic of having fun. Now, you might be having a strong reaction to this and maybe there’s a bunch of people who didn’t listen because the idea of having fun feels so silly when you are anxious and depressed. It feels like a stupid idea, a ridiculous idea. But the last few weeks have taught me such valuable lessons about mental health. I talk about mental health all the time. That’s what I live and breathe pretty much. Sometimes when you have an experience—I keep saying it changes your DNA—I feel to a degree my DNA has been changed these last few weeks and let me share with you why.  For those of you who follow me on social media, you will know that in the last couple of weeks, I made a very last-minute trip to the United Kingdom. What happened was pre-COVID, I had booked tickets to visit London for a work event, and COVID happened. I had a certain amount of time to use these tickets, and I actually had thought that those tickets had expired on December 30th of last year. And then one Friday morning, I woke up and checked my email and it said, “You have 18 days until you depart.” I’m thinking, 18 days to depart, where? I haven’t booked any tickets. Only to find out that my tickets were put on what’s called an “open hold,” which meant they had just put a date to a trip knowing that I would log in and reschedule it when I was ready. It turned out to be three years later. And then I logged on and saw I have 19 days to use my ticket.  I went upstairs, I talked to my husband, and I said, “I have this ticket to the United Kingdom I’ve never been to. I would really love to go.” He said, “You should go. I think it would be really good for you. I’ll stay home with the kids. You go.” That was the plan. I was going to go, I was going to keep working, I was going to see my clients, but when I wasn’t working, I would go out and have British food and maybe go walk around London and maybe visit a castle or two. That was the plan. I was so excited.  I happened to mention it to my sister-in-law who I love, and I said, “Ha-ha, you should come.” She said, “Oh! No, there’s no way I could come and I didn’t think anything of it.” And then the next morning I woke up, she had messaged me and said, “I’ve changed my mind. I’m coming.” Now, there is a point to this story, which is, my first thought was, “Oh my gosh, that’s so exciting.” My second thought was, “Oh my gosh, that is scary,” because my sister-in-law is the most wonderful human being and she loves to have fun. What was shocking to me is I started to notice I was going to pump the brakes on fun. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh my gosh. Now quickly, of course, I said, “Come, I’m so excited.” We we

Fri, March 17, 2023

15 Depression Symptoms You May Not Know About | Ep. 328

Today, we’re going to talk about the 15 depression symptoms you may not know about. My hope is that it will help you, number one, understand your symptoms, and number two, get help faster. Let’s do this. Let’s get started.  I hope you are well. I hope you are kind and gentle to yourself today. I hope you are taking moments to notice that the trees are changing, the leaves are changing, and spring is here. If you’re in the Northern Hemisphere, maybe the weather is changing. Also, if you’re in the southern hemisphere, my lovely friends in Australia, I just want to remind you to stop and take note of the weather. It can be one of the most mindful activities we engage in, and it can help us be grounded in the present instead of thinking forward, thinking backward, and ruminating on the past and the future.  I hope you can take a minute. We can take a breath right here... and you can actually take in this present moment before we get started.  Today, we’re talking about 15 depression symptoms you may not know about. As I said in the intro, my hope is that these symptoms help you understand what’s going on for you if you’re depressed or help you get help faster.  Mnemonic For Depression Symptoms Now, some of you may really have a good understanding of depression symptoms. Some of you may know the common ways that it shows up, so I will first address those just to make sure you’ve got a basic understanding of common depression symptoms. I’m going to actually give you a mnemonic for depression symptoms. I find it’s very helpful to have this on hand when I’m assessing my clients and my patients. It’s a really good check-in even for myself like, what’s going on? Could this be depression? Let’s go through this mnemonic for depression .  D is for depressed mood. I think we all know about that one. That’s a very common Hollywood way of understanding people who are sad, feeling very down, and so forth. We mostly all know the D for depression.  E is for energy loss and fatigue. In fact, I did a poll on Instagram. For those of you who don’t follow me, go ahead and follow me @youranxietytoolkit . I did a poll and I asked, what are the most painful parts of depression, and the most common response was complete fatigue, complete exhaustion, just overwhelming tiredness and energy loss. I think that

Fri, March 10, 2023

The Emotional Toll of OCD | Ep. 327

In this episode, we are talking about the emotional toll of OCD.  Kim: Welcome back, everybody. This week is going to include three of some of my most favorite people on this entire planet. We have the amazing Chris Trondsen, Alegra Kastens, and Jessica Serber—all dear friends of mine—on the podcast. This is the first time I’ve done an episode with more than one guest.  Now, this was actually a presentation that the four of us did at multiple IOCDF conferences. It was a highly requested topic. We were talking a lot about trauma and OCD, shame and OCD, the stigma of OCD, guilt and OCD, and the depression and grief that goes with OCD. After we presented it, it actually got accepted to multiple different conferences, so we all agreed, after doing it multiple times and having such an amazing turnout, that we should re-record the entire conversation and have it on the podcast. I’m so grateful for the three of them. They all actually join me on Super Bowl Sunday—I might add—to record this episode. I am going to really encourage you to drop down into your vulnerable self and listen to what they have to say, and note the validation and acknowledgment that they give throughout the episode. It is a deep breath. That’s what this episode is.  Before we get into this show, let me just remind you again that we are recording live the Overcoming Depression course this weekend. On March 11th, March 18th, and March 25th, at 9:00 AM Pacific Standard Time, I will be recording the Overcoming Depression course. I am doing it live this time. If you’re interested in coming on live as I record it, you can ask your questions, you can work along with me. There’ll be workbooks. I’ll be giving you a lot of strategies and a lot of tools to help you overcome depression.  If you’re interested, go to CBTSchool.com/depression. We will be meeting again, three dates in March, starting tomorrow, the 11th of March, at 9:00 AM Pacific Time. You will need to sign up ahead of time. But if for any reason you miss one of them, you can watch the replay. The replays will be uploaded. You’ll have unlimited on-demand access to any of them. You’ll get to hear me answering people’s questions. This is the first time I’ve ever recorded a course live. I really felt it was so important to do it live because I knew people would have questions and I wanted to address them step by step in a manageable, bite-sized way. Again, CBTSchool.com/depression, and I will see you there. Let’s get over to this incredible episode.  Again, thank you, Chris Trondsen. Thank you, Alegra Kastens. Thank you, Jessica Serber. It is an honor to call you my friend and my colleague. Enjoy everybody.  Kim: Welcome. This has been long, long. I’ve been waiting so long to do this and I’m so thrilled. This is my first time having mul

Mon, March 06, 2023

Special Announcement

I can barely hold in my excitement! We have a three-day live event where I will teach a new course called Overcoming Depression .  I have had all of this passion show up in my body after seeing loved ones and clients struggle and after you guys repeatedly asking for a course on depression.   Our new online course called Overcoming Depression is finally here.  I will record it live on March 11th, 18th and 25th from 9:00 a.m. to 10:30 a.m.  If you are interested, please join me, and I will teach you LIVE, and you can ask all your questions. NOTE: This course will not be considered therapy. Just like all of our courses, it will be educational.  Overcoming Depression will be me teaching you the skills I teach my clients when it comes to Psychoeducation and strategies and tools to overcome depression.    Head over to CBTSCHOOLcom/depression to sign up!   I am so excited to have you guys join me live.  Ask your questions in the question box.  We will tackle not only your negative thinking but also your behaviors your motivation Self-compassion Long-term recovery techniques  <!--

Fri, March 03, 2023

OCD TREATMENT OPTIONS: Do I need a higher level of care? | Ep. 326

OCD TREATMENT OPTIONS  Today, we have Elizabeth McIngvale and we are talking all about different OCD treatment options.  Elizabeth (Liz) McIngvale is the Director of the McLean OCDI Houston . She has an active clinical and research and leadership role there. McLean OCDI is a treatment center for people with OCD and she talks extensively about different OCD treatment options in this episode. She’s the perfect one to talk to in this episode about knowing when you need a higher level of care, particularly related to OCD.  In this episode, we walk through the different levels of care from self-help all the way through to inpatient facilities. Elizabeth spoke so beautifully about how to know when you’re ready for the next step of care, what to look out for, what you should be interested in, and questions you should ask. This is such an important episode. I’m actually blown away that I haven’t addressed it yet, but I’m so grateful we got to talk about it today. Elizabeth McIngvale is also a lecturer at Harvard Medical School. She treats obsessive-compulsive disorders, anxiety disorders. She’s got a special interest in mental health stigma and access to mental health care. It was actually such an educational episode and I felt like it actually made me a better supervisor to my staff and a better educator as well. You’re going to love this episode if you’re really wanting to understand and take the stigma out of increasing your care if that’s something that you need.  That being said, I’m going to let you listen to Elizabeth’s amazing words, and I hope you enjoy this episode just as much as I did. Have a great day, everybody. Kimberley Quinlan:  Well, welcome, Liz McIngvale . I'm so excited to have you on for two reasons. Number one, I really want to talk about giving people information about OCD treatment options, but I also understand that you can also bring in a personal experience here. Anytime, someone can share their personal experience, just lights me up. So thank you for being here. Elizabeth McIngvale: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here and yeah, I hope that both my personal but also professional kind of background in this arena might help guide. Some individuals who are kind of wondering what treatment do they need right now and and what does treatment for them look like Kimberley Quinlan: Wonderful. Do you want to share a little bit about your h

Fri, February 24, 2023

Depression is a liar | Ep. 325

Depression is a liar. If you have depression, the chances are, it’s lying to you too.  Depression is a very, very common mental health disorder, and it tends to be a very effective liar. My hope today is to get you to see the ways that it lies to you—the ways in which depression lies to you, and gets you to believe things that are not true.  I believe that this part of depression, this component of managing depression is so important because the way in which depression lies to us, impacts how we see ourselves in the world, how we see the future, how we see other people, how we see our lives playing out. And that in and of itself can be devastating.  Today, I want to talk about, number one, the ways in which depression lies to us and what we can do to manage that. Let’s get going.  THEMES OF DEPRESSION Before we start, let’s talk about the themes of depression . Now, the way it was trained to me is that there are three core themes of depression. The first one being hopelessness, the second one being helplessness, and the third being worthlessness. It will often target one, some, or all of these themes. Let’s go through those here and break it down.  DEPRESSION LIES ABOUT THE FUTURE This is where it can really make us feel very hopeless. Depression says your future won’t be good. You won’t amount to anything. You won’t be successful. You won’t have a relationship if that’s important to you. You won’t have kids if that’s important to you. It often will target the things that we deeply value and it’ll tell us you won’t get those things or you’ll be doing those things wrong. Or in some ways, something bad will happen. When it targets the future, that is often when we begin to feel very hopeless. When we think about the way the human brain works, our brain does things right now, even things it doesn’t want to do, knowing that it’ll get a benefit or a payoff or a wonderful, joyful result. But if your brain is telling you that the result is always going to be bad, that’s going to create an experience where you feel like there’s no point. What’s the point of doing this hard thing if my depression is telling me the future is going to be crummy anyway? What we want to do is get very skilled at catching it in its lies about the future.  DEPRESSION LIES ABOUT THE PAST Depression will tell you, you did something wrong. You’re terrible. That thing you did really ruined your life or ruined somebody else’s life, or is proof that you’

Fri, February 17, 2023

Treating Scrupulosity and Religious OCD with compassion (with Katie O’Dunne) | Ep. 324

Transcript Kimberley Quinlan: Well welcome, I cannot believe this is so exciting. I've been looking forward to this episode all week. We have the amazing. Reverend Katie O’Dunne with us to talk all about scrupulosity and religious obsessions. So welcome, Katie. Katie O'Dunne: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here and to chat about all things Faith and OCD. So thanks for having me. Kimberley Quinlan: Yeah, so let me just quickly share in ERP school we have these underneath every training, every video. There's a little question and answer and I'm very confident in answering them, but when it comes to the specifics of religion, I always try to refer to someone who is, like an expert. And so this is so timely because I feel like you are perfect to answer some of these questions. Some of the questions we have here are from, ERP school . A lot of them are from social media and so I'm so excited to chat with you.  Katie O'Dunne: Thank you. Kimberley Quinlan: So tell us before we get into the questions, a little about your story and you know why you are here today? Katie O'Dunne:  Yeah. So I've navigated OCD since before I can remember, but just like maybe a lot of folks listening. I was very private about that for a very long time. I had a lot of shame around, intrusive thoughts. I had a lot of shame around religious obsessions that I had, moral related obsessions , harm obsessions. And this shame particularly came because I was pursuing ministry and OCD really spiked in the midst of me going to graduate school, going to seminary. And when I was in seminary and I started really struggling, I wanted to seek treatment for the first time and was told really by a mentor that it would not help me to do that. In my ministry that I wouldn't pass my psych evaluations and that I shouldn't pursue treatment that I needed to keep that on the down low. So as many of us know, that might not get that effective evidence-based treatment I continued to get sicker Katie O'Dunne: And had a really pretty full-blown OCD episode in my first role in ministry. Katie O'Dunne: So I ended up in school chaplaincy working, with lots of students from different faith backgrounds, some of what we'll be talking about today, through an OCD lens. And I was trying to keep my OCD a secret, but in the midst of navigating, some difficult tragedies and traumas with studen

Fri, February 10, 2023

5 Tips for Health Anxiety During a Dr’s Visit | Ep. 323

5 TIPS FOR HEALTH ANXIETY DURING A DRS VISIT If you want my five tips for health anxiety during a Drs visit, especially if you have a medical condition that concerns you, this is the episode for you. Hello and welcome back everybody. Today, I’m going to share some updates about a recent medical issue I have had, and I’m going to share specific tips for dealing with health anxiety (also known as hypochondria).  A lot of you who have been here with me before know I have postural orthostatic tachycardic syndrome. I also have a lesion on my left cerebellum and many other ups and downs in my medical history where I’ve had to get really good at managing my health anxiety. I wanted to share with you some real-time tips that I am practicing as I deal with another medical illness or another medical concern that I wanted to share with you.  Here I’m going to share with you five specific tips, but I think in total, there’s 20-something tips all woven in here. I’ve done my best to put them into just five. But do make sure you listen to the end of the podcast episode because I’m also going to give some health anxiety journal prompts or questions that you can ask yourself so that you can know how to deal with health anxiety if you’re experiencing that at this time.  Before we get into it, let me give you a little bit of a backstory. Several months ago, I did share that I’ve been having these what I call surges. They’re like adrenaline surges. They wake me up. My heart isn’t racing. It’s not like it’s racing fast, but the only way I can explain it is I feel like I have like a racehorse’s heart in my chest, like this huge heart that’s beating really heavily. Of course, that creates anxiety. And so then I would question like, is it the heartbeat or is it just my anxiety? You go back and you go forward trying to figure out which is which. But because this was a symptom that was persisting and was also showing up when I wasn’t experiencing a lot of stress or anxiety, I thought the right thing to do is to go and see the doctor.  WHAT HEALTH ANXIETY FEELS LIKE Before we get started, be sure to make sure you’re not avoiding doctors. Make sure you’re not dismissing symptoms. We do have to find a very, very wise balance between avoiding doctors but also not overdoing it with doctors. We’ll talk about that a little bit here in a minute. But first, I wanted to just share with you what health anxiety feels like for me. Because for me, I’m very, very skilled at identifying what is anxiety and what is not. I’ve become very good at catching that by experience, folks. It’s not something that comes naturally, but by experience, I can identify what is health anxiety and what is a real medical condition or what is something worthy of me getting checked out.  For me, f

Fri, February 10, 2023

5 Tips for Health Anxiety During a Dr’s Visit | Ep. 323

5 TIPS FOR HEALTH ANXIETY DURING A DRS VISIT If you want my five tips for health anxiety during a Drs visit, especially if you have a medical condition that concerns you, this is the episode for you. Hello and welcome back everybody. Today, I’m going to share some updates about a recent medical issue I have had, and I’m going to share specific tips for dealing with health anxiety (also known as hypochondria).  A lot of you who have been here with me before know I have postural orthostatic tachycardic syndrome. I also have a lesion on my left cerebellum and many other ups and downs in my medical history where I’ve had to get really good at managing my health anxiety. I wanted to share with you some real-time tips that I am practicing as I deal with another medical illness or another medical concern that I wanted to share with you.  Here I’m going to share with you five specific tips, but I think in total, there’s 20-something tips all woven in here. I’ve done my best to put them into just five. But do make sure you listen to the end of the podcast episode because I’m also going to give some health anxiety journal prompts or questions that you can ask yourself so that you can know how to deal with health anxiety if you’re experiencing that at this time.  Before we get into it, let me give you a little bit of a backstory. Several months ago, I did share that I’ve been having these what I call surges. They’re like adrenaline surges. They wake me up. My heart isn’t racing. It’s not like it’s racing fast, but the only way I can explain it is I feel like I have like a racehorse’s heart in my chest, like this huge heart that’s beating really heavily. Of course, that creates anxiety. And so then I would question like, is it the heartbeat or is it just my anxiety? You go back and you go forward trying to figure out which is which. But because this was a symptom that was persisting and was also showing up when I wasn’t experiencing a lot of stress or anxiety, I thought the right thing to do is to go and see the doctor.  WHAT HEALTH ANXIETY FEELS LIKE Before we get started, be sure to make sure you’re

Fri, February 03, 2023

Five Relationship Rules That Have Changed My Life | Ep. 322

Today, we’re talking about the Top 5 Relationship Rules I have that have changed my life. This episode was inspired by a letter I wrote to all of you. For those of you who signed up for my newsletter, I give you tools and tips, and stories, and I tell you funny jokes sometimes. But I was writing the newsletter while I was in Australia just before I left when I was there in December, and I was reflecting on how beautiful my relationships are with my family now. And I was reflecting on why. Why are they so beautiful? Well, number one, they’re beautiful people. But number two, more importantly, I have learned these relationship rules, which have allowed me to have the most beautiful relationship with my family and the most beautiful relationship with my husband, my kids, my friends, and you guys. Now, that doesn’t mean there are no bumps. That doesn’t mean there are no arguments. A few weeks ago, I wrote in the newsletter about how I had an argument with my husband. Of course, I was joking about how wrong he was and how right I was. But it doesn’t mean we don’t have conflict, but we get to coexist because of these relationship rules, and I want to share them with you.  Before we proceed, I want to say, these mightn’t work for you. I think they work well, but I don’t want you to feel guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, angry, or whatever the feelings are if you feel like these don’t match you. So take what you need here. Leave what isn’t helpful for you; if it’s useful for you, wonderful. If it doesn’t sit right, one of them doesn’t sit right, that is not a problem. It’s totally okay to use what helps you. When I’m talking on this podcast, I’m giving you ideas, so be curious and consider them, but it doesn’t mean that I’m always right, I think I’m right, or I know what’s right for you.  All right, here we go. I’m going to go through them quickly and then elaborate a little later once we get through, okay? But I want to remind you that these relationship rules help me stay solid in my relationships, and they’ve gotten me through some of the hardest periods and seasons of my life. So, let’s see if they’re helpful for you.  1. It is not your job or my job to manage our family’s emotions.  Their emotions are their responsibility, and it is their job to regulate their emotions when they’re upset with us. And it’s our job to regulate and manage our emotions when we are upset. Now, what does regulate mean? It means you’re allowed to have them. We’re not saying that no one’s allowed to be upset, but we have to communicate and share with them and regulate by not throwing things, lashing out, saying unkind things, saying things that aren’t true, saying ‘you’ statements like, “You’re so blah, blah, blah.” We want to use ‘I’ statements like, “I feel this way about that,” or “I would like this thing to happen.” So, we want t

Fri, January 27, 2023

What To Do During And After An Exposure? | Ep. 321

One of the most common questions I get asked is what do I do during or after an exposure?  Number One, it’s so scary to do an exposure, and number two, there’s so many things that people have brought up as things to do, even me, this being Your Anxiety Toolkit. Maybe you get overwhelmed with the opportunity and options for tools that it gets too complicated. So, I want to make this super easy for you, and I want to go through step by step, like what you’re supposed to do during or after an exposure. Now, I think it’s important that we first look at, there is no right. You get to choose, and I’m going to say that all the way through here, but I’m going to give you some really definitive goals to be going forward with as you do an exposure, as you face your fear. Now, make sure you stick around to the end because I will also address some of the biggest roadblocks I hear people have with the skills that I’m going to share.  Now, a lot of you know, I have ERP School if you have OCD and I have Overcoming Anxiety and Panic if you have panic, and I have BFRB School if you have hair pulling and skin picking. These are all basically courses of me teaching you exactly what I teach my patients. So, if you want a deeper in-depth study of that, you can, by all means, get the steps there of how to build an exposure plan, how to build a response prevention plan. Today, I’m going to complement that work and talk about what to do during and after an exposure. So here we go.  Let’s say you already know what you’re going to face. Like I said, you’ve already created an exposure plan. You understand the cycle of the disorder or the struggle that you are handling, and you’ve really identified how you’re going to break that cycle and you’ve identified the fear that you’re going to face. Or just by the fact of nature being the nature, you’ve been spontaneously exposed to your fear. What do you do? Now, let’s recap the core concepts that we talk about here all the time on Your Anxiety Toolkit, which is, number one, what we want to do is practice tolerating whatever discomfort you experience. What does that mean? It means being open and compassionate and vulnerable as you experience discomfort in your body. A lot of people will say, “But what am I supposed to do?” And this is where I’m going to say, this is very similar to me trying to teach you how to ride a bike on this podcast. Or I’ll tell you a story. My 11-year-old daughter was sassing me the other day and I was telling her I wanted her to unpack the dishwasher, and she said, “How?” She was just giving me sass, joki

Fri, January 20, 2023

Mindfully Tending to Anger & Resentment | Ep. 320

MINDFULLY TENDING TO ANGER & RESENTMENT Welcome back. I am so happy to have you here with me today to talk about mindfully tending to feelings of anger and resentment.  Sometimes when we have relentless anxiety and intrusive thoughts , anger can feel like the only emotion we can access.   For those of you who don’t know me, well, you might be surprised to hear maybe not to know that I actually have quite a hot temper. I get hot really quick emotionally, and I don’t know if it’s because as a child I didn’t really allow myself to feel anger. I think societally, I was told I shouldn’t be angry. And so, when it comes up inside me, it heats up really quick to a boiling point. And my goal for this year is not—let me be very clear—is not to say I am going to stop being angry because that is actually the problem. It is not to say I can’t feel angry and I shouldn’t feel angry. It’s actually to tend to my anger and start to listen to what anger is trying to communicate to me. My goal with you today is to walk you through how you can do that. And I’d love if you would stay with me for a short meditation where we mindfully tend to anger and resentment.  IS ANGER & RESENTMENT HEALTHY? I think the first thing I want to mention here is that anger and resentment are actually really normal healthy emotions . Nothing to be guilty of, ashamed of, annoyed by, nothing to judge, that the anger and resentment are actually healthy emotions. They come from a place of wishing things could be better or improved, and they usually show up when we experience some kind of injustice in the world or in our daily life. Maybe someone hurt your feelings or they acted in a way that made you feel unsafe. Maybe someone stopped you from succeeding. Maybe somebody judged you and you experienced that as a threat. WHY DO I FEEL SO ANGRY?  Anger can show up for many reasons. Maybe it’s because you’re noticing the injustices in the world and that makes you angry. That political things can really make people show up in anger. And again, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong, but expressing it in a healthy way can be really useful because bottling it up, it usually numbs other feelings, it can wear down your mental health, and it can mean—and I have learnt this the hard way—is that we then explode and end up saying things we don’t mean, or doing things we don’t want to do that don’t align up with our values or showing up the way that we want. And for me, that’s a big part of my goal this year.  Now, the reason I actually am doing this, thi

Fri, January 13, 2023

Let’s do an Anxiety Audit (with Lynn Lyons) | Ep. 319

In this week's podcast, I talked with Lynn Lyons about her new book, The Anxiety Audit (7 Sneaky Ways Anxiety Takes Hold and How to Escape Them). We discuss:  How repetitive negative thinking disguises itself as problem-solving  How catastrophic thinking makes the world a dangerous place and demands you react accordingly  How big conclusions and an all-or-nothing approach make the world smaller and harder to navigate.  How a fear of judgment isolates and disconnects us from people  How being busy and overscheduled both adds and masquerade anxiety and stress  How we blame others when we are irritable How self-care becomes not self-care at all Transcript This editable transcript was computer generated and might contain errors. People can also change the text after it is created. Kimberley Quinlan: Okay, good. Well, welcome, Lynn Lyons. I am so thrilled to have you on the show today. Okay, so very exciting. Lynn Lyons: Oh well, thanks for having me. Kimberley Quinlan: You just wrote another book. I will say another book. It's amazing. Please tell me before we get started. Why did you choose that as the title? Lynn Lyons:  Well, what happened was we have a podcast called flusterclux . And I do that with my sister-in-law Robin; she's married to my brother. And during the pandemic, one of the courses we created together, she called it the anxiety on it because we wanted to go through the patterns that maybe people were experiencing and they didn't, they didn't have words to them, they didn't know what was going on. And so we did this course, and we put it out there, and then my publisher said, Do you want to write a book? And I said, “Oh, okay”. And Robin and I said, Well, why don't you just make the course we did into a book? It'll be easy because she's never written a book before. Um, so that sort of was the genesis of it. So the publisher like the title, the anxiety on it. So the book ended up being much more expanded than the original course, but the title was from Robin. And the course we did for the podcast. Kimberley Quinlan: Right.

Fri, January 06, 2023

The ONE thing I want you to focus on in 2023| Ep. 318

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 318, and welcome 2023.  Welcome back, guys. Happy 2023. Happy New Year. I want you to imagine you and I are sitting down at a table and we both have the most wonderful, warm tea or coffee or water or whatever it is that you enjoy, and we are going to have a talk. You’re not getting a talking too, I’m not saying that. But I want you to imagine that I’m standing in front of you or sitting in front of you and we’ve got eyes locked, and I am dead serious in what I’m talking to you about because I believe it to be the most important thing you need for 2023. I really, really do.  So, let’s talk. Okay, you’ve got your tea. I’ve got my tea. Let’s do this. Okay. So, I want you to imagine that you have a suffering in your life. We all have suffering. It’s a part of being a human. Life is 50/50. It’s 50% easy and 50% hard. We all are going to have suffering this year. But I want you to imagine this scenario. It could be something that’s hard for you that you’re already going through or could be imagined. And I want you to think about that there’s a circumstance or a situation that happened that is out of your control and it’s causing you suffering. Maybe it’s a thought that’s intrusive, maybe it’s anxiety, maybe it’s depression. Maybe you have a hole in your tire, maybe you-- if you hear some people walking, it’s because my whole family are upstairs playing. But maybe you have some financial stresses, relationship stresses. Maybe you feel very alone. Whatever you’re suffering is, I want you to acknowledge that you’re having this suffering. And then I want you to think about, who could I call to help me manage this pain in my life? Is it someone who could support me and nurture me during that suffering? Is it someone who has the solution to that problem? Is it somebody who’s been through it before and they can guide you on what to do?  So what we do when we have suffering is we gather hopefully a list of people who we can help and we reach out to them. That’s good coping, right? But what I want you to do differently, or maybe you’re already doing this and I want you to do more of in 2023, is I want you to move you to the top of that list. I want you to be the first person you call to offer yourself the support and wisdom and guidance, right?  I’m not here to say there’s anything wrong with calling the other people. In fact, I am a huge believer in gathering your peeps when things are hard, calling your speed-dial people, right? That’s cool. I want you to be doing that. But I want for this year for you to move yourself to the top of the list and ask yourself, what is it that you need while you suffer? How can I support you while you suffer? What do you need to hear as you suffer? How can I tend to this suffering in a kind, compassionate, non-abandoning way? How can we b

Fri, December 30, 2022

How to Change Your Habits (with Monica Packer) | Ep. 317

Welcome back, everybody. I am thrilled, thrilled, thrilled to have you here again, finishing out the year so strong. In this episode, we planned perfectly for this week because my guess is that you’re starting to make New Year’s resolutions or make New Year’s goals, and we wanted to talk, myself and the amazing guests that we have this week, about how you can change your habits in the most compassionate and effective way..  We have back this week with us Monica Packer. She’s been on the show before. To be honest, she’s like a warm hug to me. I just feel like it’s just sitting down and having a chat with a dear long friend, like an old friend. I love speaking with Monica. She’s just got such deep wisdom to her. And so, today, we got together and talked about how to change your habits compassionately and effectively. Because when people set resolutions or New Year’s goals, they’re just talking about creating new habits, like how can I create new habits in my life? How can I make a change in my life? And sometimes, we tend to do that in a very aggressive, critical way. And so, we wanted to sit down and talk about how we can do that in a compassionate, effective way. Kimberley: Okay. Welcome, Monica. I’m so happy to have you here.  Monica: Oh, it really is a joy. I just love everything you do and who you are, more importantly. So, I’m excited to be here again. HOW TO CHANGE YOUR HABITS  Kimberley: Thank you. Thank you. Okay, so you and I were chatting, and I love this idea of preparing for the hard day, but particularly emphasizing how to change your habits that prepare you for your dark day or your hard day. Tell me a little about why that is so important to you or even how you’ve implemented this in your life. Monica: When I think back on my history with habit formation, it was clouded for a long time with these all-or-nothing models that taught me to have good habits, they needed to look this way, and it needed to be formed in this way. It needed to be consistent in this way. And a big part of that was not only were we supposed to have an ideal, we were supposed to start with the ideal. You just decide what the habit is and then you do it for 28 days, or whatever number we all have in our heads. You get to that magical number and it’s a habit. And that never worked for me. And so, for a really long time-- well, it worked for me when I was the type A, very overachieving perfectionist. But that came at a big cost in my life. And we talked about that I think in our past interview we did together. And that cost was not one I was willing to make for a long time. I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my mental and physical and spiritual health and my relationships anymore to be so performing.  And so, because of that, I thought that was the only way to, one, progress in y

Fri, December 23, 2022

Overcoming Superstitious Obsessions (with Laura Ryan) | Ep. 316

In this podcast: Laura Ryan tells her story of overcoming superstitious Obsessions  How to manage Whack-a-mole obsessions How her family helped to support her as she overcame Superstitious OCD  How to get through the hard OCD days Perfectionism and Exposure & Response Prevention Links To Things We Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety...If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION Kimberley Quinlan: Well, welcome, Laura. I am so excited to hear your story today about Overcoming Superstitious Obsessions. Thank you for coming on the show. Laura Ryan: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here. Kimberley Quinlan:  Yeah, so it's wonderful. I love the stories when I accidentally meet people online, and then we have this cool story that's together, but we're not like not together at all. So I love hearing your story for the first time today, and I love that. I've been a small small part of that journey for you.  Tell me a little about you and your backstory in, you know, the area of recovery. Laura Ryan:  Yeah. So I definitely would have had OCD my whole life, but it wasn't until I was about 17 or 18 years old that I just stumbled across something on the Internet where I was like Oh yeah, that sounds like me. I've got OCD, but it didn't. It wasn't stopping me from doing anything at that point. So I just ignored it

Fri, December 16, 2022

How to effectively include family members in OCD treatment (with Krista Reed) | Ep. 315

SUMMARY:  How to include family members in ocd treatment Supporting siblings during ocd treatment  How to apply the “be seen” model Ocd family therapy: including siblings as “assistant coaches”  Developing empathy during ocd treatment Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School https://peaceofmind.com/for-siblings/ OCD Stories (with Jessica Serber) https://theocdstories.com/episode/dr-michelle-witkin-siblings-and-ocd/ https://www.amazon.com/When-Family-Member-Has-Obsessive-Compulsive/dp/1626252467 When a Family Member has OCD https://www.anxioustoddlers.com/psp-050-explaining-ocd/#.Y2Lc2S1h2Tc Krista’s webpage Instagram: @anxiouslybalanced Episode Sponsor:This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBT

Fri, December 09, 2022

The 6 Most Important Turning Points Of OCD Recovery (With Micah Howe) | Ep. 314

SUMMARY:  In this podcast, Micah Howe addressed his expereince with intensive OCD treatment and the 6 most important turning points of OCD Recovery Compulsions keep OCD going,  I can control my reaction to OCD Worrying is a false sense of control and is not productive Anxiety does not mean something needs solving Find an OCD community Self-compassion helps manage uncertainty Micah also addressed how to know you are ready for intensive ocd treatment and how he managed his OCD grief.  Links To Things I Talk About: https://www.instagram.com/mentalhealthmhe/ ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online courses and resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety… If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 314. Welcome back, everybody. Today, we are talking about the major turning points of OCD recovery. This episode is literally how I want to end the year, although we do have more podcasts coming this year before we finish up 2022. But literally, this is like mic drop after mic drop after mic drop. I thoroughly enjoyed interviewing this week’s guest. I’m so honored to share with you this interview with Micah Howe. He’s an OCD advocate and is one of the most inspirational people I know. I just have so much respect and adoration for him. And this episode is literally a bomb. I just can’t, I can’t shout it from the rooftop loud enough. I’m going to keep this intro very short because I really just want you to hear exactly what he’s saying. And really what we’re talking about here is some ideological shifts that he had, going through intensive treatment and treatment in general, specifically for OCD . But if you don’t have OCD, this is still going to be a powerful punch for your recovery because the tools that he shares that he rea

Fri, December 02, 2022

What Causes Anxiety And Why It Is NOT Your Fault | Ep. 313

In This Episode: What causes anxiety? Is Anxiety "normal"? Genetic and environmental It is NOT your fault. You didn't ask for this You are doing the best you can with what you have Does that mean there is nothing you can do? No. What causes anxiety disorders? NIH - "Mood and anxiety disorders are characterized by a variety of neuroendocrine, neurotransmitter, and neuroanatomical disruptions. Risk factors- These factors may increase your risk of developing an anxiety disorder: Personality. People with certain personality types are more prone to anxiety disorders than others are. Other mental health disorders. People with other mental health disorders, such as depression, often also have an anxiety disorder. Having blood relatives with an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders can run in families. Drugs or alcohol. Drug or alcohol use or misuse or withdrawal can cause or worsen anxiety. Stress due to an illness. Having a health condition or serious illness can cause significant worry about issues such as your treatment and your future. Stress buildup. A big event or a buildup of smaller stressful life situations may trigger excessive anxiety — for example, a death in the family, work stress or ongoing worry about finances. Trauma. Children who endured abuse or trauma or witnessed traumatic events are at higher risk of developing an anxiety disorder at some point in life. Adults who experience a traumatic event also can develop anxiety disorders. What causes anxiety in the brain? a primary alteration in brain structure or function or in neurotransmitter signaling may result from environmental experiences and underlying genetic predisposition; These alterations can increase the risk for developing anxiet

Fri, November 25, 2022

Thriving in Relationships When You Have OCD (with Amy Mariaskin PhD) | Ep. 312

In This Episode: Amy Mariaskin, PhD shares her new book, Thriving in relationships when you have ocd What is Family accommodation and how does it apply to ocd Ocd family accommodation vs family support,  What is OCD reassurance and how it can creep into one’s relationship Relationship ocd, also known as rOCD Relationship issues with ocd and how to manage them Sexual orientation OCD, Gender related OCD, and Harm OCD and the impact this has on relationships Attachment styles in ocd and how to understand them to help you navigate communication.  Links To Things I Talk About: Thriving in Relationships When You Have OCD: How to Keep Obsessions and Compulsions from Sabotaging Love, Friendship, and Family Connections Amy’s Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ocdnashville/?hl=en ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor:This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety...If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 312.  Welcome back, everybody. This is going to be a really important episode for you to listen to. Today, we have the amazing Dr. Amy Mariaskin, who is what I consider to be a very dear friend, someone I very much respect. She has writt

Fri, November 18, 2022

What If People Notice I Am Anxious? | Ep. 311

In This Episode: What if people notice I am anxious? How to handle the fear that people ill judge you  Tools to manage anxiety Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety...If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 311.  Welcome back, everybody. I am so happy to have you with me today. Today, we’re talking about what to do if people notice how anxious you are. This is something that I’ve even thought about myself. When you’re having anxiety, it’s like, “Are people noticing how anxious I am?” And when you worry about that or you think about that, sometimes it can actually create more anxiety for you. Quite a few of you have asked this question to me in the past, specifically around when doing exposures. As you go to do your exposures, then you have this secondary thought of like, “Oh my goodness, are people actually seeing how anxious I am?” So, I wanted to do a podcast just about this topic.  Before we get into the episode, let’s quickly run through the “I did a hard thing” for the week. This one is from Anonymous and they said: “My son just started preschool this month. For context, my OCD and anxiety has me housebound for the last two years, and never in a million years did I think I was going to be able to handle this. I still feel discomfort and struggle with intrusive thoughts, but the sparkle in his eye when I pick him up makes it all worth it. This has reinforced the importance of pushing through even when it’s hard.” Anonymous, this is so good. Look at you go. And I think we can all resonate with being so overwhelmed with anxiety, but we make decisions based on our values, not our fear. And then we get to see people sparkle in people’s eyes or our own eyes. And I’m so excited to have you share that with me. So, thank you so much. All right, quickly,

Fri, November 11, 2022

Regret & Guilt: Two Very Misunderstood Obsessions | Ep. 310

SUMMARY:  What if you don’t identify with the concept of an obsession being a FEAR? It’s a repetitive thought or feeling, but you’re not scared of a specific outcome.  What is the UNCERTAINTY when it comes to these obsessions?  Guilt Obsessions:  WHAT IS OCD GUILT?  OCD Guilt over past mistakes “I shouldn't have done that”  “That was a mistake”  OCD Guilt as a simple intrusive thought- no known mistake “Is it bad that I did that”  “Did I make a mistake?”  “What could be the consequences”   REGRET obsessions.  I’ve heard a lot about how guilt is a common intrusive feeling in OCD but not much about regret.  “I wish I didn't do that”  “I wish I had done it another way”  Guilt and Regret accompanied with sadness??  How to stop OCD guilt?  How to treat OCD guilt and regret Links To Things I Talk About: Feeling guilty doesn't mean you have done something wrong https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/ep-161-feeling-guilty-doesnt-mean-you-have-done-something-wrong/ How to let go of the past https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/ep-70-how-to-let-go-of-the-past/ I screwed up. Now what?   https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/ep-293-i-screwed-up-what-now/ ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety...If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Too

Fri, November 04, 2022

Ep. 309: What if I Don’t Fit into a Typical OCD Subtype?

SUMMARY: Not having a subtype makes it hard to get diagnosed with OCD  Not fitting into a subtype can make you doubt having OCD.  When you don’t see other examples, you can feel like an outsider in the OCD community.  All the subtypes seem to have their “people.”   The doubt can make you feel that it really is about the content, not OCD.  What if I don't fit into a typical OCD Subtype Examples:  What if I picked the wrong name for my baby?  Obsessions about the weather and whether you will enjoy the weather?  This nail color makes me feel strange.  What if I don't remember this the way it was?  What if my partner cheats on me? What if my child suffers?  What if my taxes were not correct?  How will I know when it is time to stop therapy?  General Anxiety Vs Ocd? Dimensional Obsessive COmpulsive Scale (Jon Abramowitz)  Concerns about germs and contamination Concerns about being responsible for the harm. Injury, Bad luck  Unacceptable thoughts  Concerns about symmetry, completeness, and the need for things to be “Just right.”  Does ERP work for these obsessions?  Does the process of treatment work any differently than it would with a “subtype”?   Ideal Treatments for OCD ERP  ACT SC MINDFULNESS Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School (An online course for OCD) https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Dimensional Obsessive COmpulsive Scale (Jon Abramowitz) http://www.jabramowitz.com/uploads/1/0/4/8/10489300/docs.pdf Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety...If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll n

Fri, October 28, 2022

Ep. 308 ERP is for EVERYONE (with Andrew GottWorth)

In This Episode: Andrew GottWorth shares his story of having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and how ERP allowed him to function again.  addresses the benefits of ERP and how ERP is for Everyone  How Exposure & response prevention can help people with OCD and for those with everyday stress and anxiety  Links To Things I Talk About: Andrew’s Instagram @justrught ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more.  Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION  This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 308.  Welcome, everybody. I am really pumped for this episode. We have the amazing Andrew Gottworth on for an interview where he just shared so many nuggets of wisdom and hope and motivation. I think you’re going to love it. But the main point we’re making today is that ERP is for everyone. Everyone can benefit from facing their fears. Everyone can benefit by reducing their compulsive behaviors. Even if you don’t technically call them compulsions, you too can benefit by this practice. Andrew reached out to me and he was really passionate about this. And of course, I was so on board that we jumped on a call right away and we got it in, and I’m so excited to share it with you. Thank you, Andrew, for sharing all your amazing wisdom.  Before we head into the show, let’s quickly do the “I did a hard thing” for the week. This one is from Christina, and they went on to say: “Thought of you today, and you’re saying, ‘It’s a beautiful day to do hard things,’ as I went down a water slide, terrified, as I’m well out of my comfort zone.” This is such great. They’re saying that’s on their holiday, the first time they’ve taken a holiday in quite a while. “It’s difficult, but I’m doing it. I’m trying to lean into the discomfort.” This is so good. I love when people share their

Fri, October 21, 2022

Ep. 307 When your Chronic Illness Causes Anxiety

SUMMARY:  In This Episode: What to do what your chronic illness causes anxiety  The Difference between POTS and anxiety.  How to manage POTS related anxiety  What is an “Adrenaline Surge”?  The Treatment for POTS and Anxiety  POTS AWARENESS MONTH Links To Things I Talk About http://www.dysautonomiainternational.org/page.php?ID=30 Overcoming Anxiety and Panic https://www.cbtschool.com/overcominganxiety ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more.  Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 307.  Welcome back, everybody. I am so thrilled to be here with you today. As most of you may know, it is OCD Awareness Month or Awareness Week. It’s just passed, and that’s something I’m so passionate about advocating for. But in addition to that, it’s also Postural Orthostatic Tachycardic Syndrome Awareness Month. For those of you who don’t know, I suffer from postural orthostatic tachycardic syndrome. We call it POTS for short. I’ve had multiple people ask me to do an episode about when chronic illnesses cause anxiety, and I thought this is probably the best week to do it. Not only is it awareness week or awareness month for POTS, but I actually have had a little blip in my own recovery in my POTS. So, I wanted to share with you my story and share with you how I’m handling the anxiety and health anxiety and stress and grief of that, and also just address some tools that have worked for me and that I’m hoping will work for you as well. If you have a chronic illness or even if you don’t, I think that these are really core skills that we need to practice just in re

Thu, October 20, 2022

Ep. 306: “I Know Reassurance Seeking Is Problematic, But Isn’t It Also Bad To “Hold It In”?”

In This Episode: The difference between Reassurance seeking vs. holding in emotions Why Reassurance seeking OCD is problematic and keeps you stuch What tools you can use to help you manage emotions with OCD Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/32-reduce-reassurance-seeking-behaviorscompulsions/ Newsletter https://www.cbtschool.com/newsletter Chatter Book: https://www.amazon.com/Chatter-Voice-Head-Matters-Harness/dp/0525575235 Episode Sponsor:This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety...If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 306. Welcome back, everybody. We are well and truly into OCD Awareness Week, and I have been so excited to be a part of some amazing awareness projects, being an advocate for the International OCD Foundation, doing a lot of social media on self-compassion this week. It’s been such a treat. This week, I actually wanted to discuss a concept that I-- actually, I say this often these days, but I get asked this question a lot in some various forms by my clients, so I wanted to address this question that I got with you. This is actually a question from one of the people in ERP School, which is our online course for OCD. If you click the link here in the bio or you can go to CBTSchool.com, we have a course called ERP School where we teach, or I teach step by steps that I take with my patients on how to set up an ERP plan so that you can slowly face your fear and reduce your compulsions and take your life back from OCD. Reassurance Vs Holding In Emotions One of the members asked a question, and there’s a whole portal in there where you can ask questions to me directly, and they asked: “I have a question to you regarding reassurance seeking.” They

Thu, October 13, 2022

Ep. 305 Why the Tone of Your Voice Really Matters

In This Episode: We talk about how the ton of your voice really matters when it comes to self-compassion practices USING SELF-COMPASSION TO INCREASE MOTIVATION USING SELF-COMPASSION TO BETTER APPRAISE EVENTS How you can improve your self-compassion practices to include a warm nurturing voice. How you can practice a kind coach voice in your daily life. Links To Things I Talk About: Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD: https://www.amazon.com/dp/168403776X/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_2JG8H4VWFSBMBJVQ4AD8 ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety...If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit – Episode 305. You guys, 305. That sounds like a lot of episodes to me. Oh my goodness. So exciting. All right. I am really feeling so connected to the message that I have with you today. It has been an ongoing lesson I have learned in my life. It has been something that I have had to fine-tune in my own self-compassion practice. And I know I’ve spoken about this before, but I wanted to come on and do a quick reminder of why the tone of your voice matters more than anything. When I say the tone of your voice, I mean like how you speak to yourself, and that would also include how you speak to other people. That both. Both are very, very important. I’m sure you know this from experience of talking to other people. When your tone is a little off, it tends to create some problems. Am I right? I definitely have some stories to tell you on that one. But there have been so many times over the summer and going now into the fall where I have had to really keep reminding my patients and myself. And I’m going to tell you a couple of stories here about my family where this has gotten so, so important. <

Wed, October 12, 2022

Ep. 305 Why the Tone of Your Voice Really Matters

In This Episode: We talk about how the ton of your voice really matters when it comes to self-compassion practices  USING SELF-COMPASSION TO INCREASE MOTIVATION USING SELF-COMPASSION TO BETTER APPRAISE EVENTS  How you can improve your self-compassion practices to include a warm nurturing voice.  How you can practice a kind coach voice in your daily life.  Links To Things I Talk About: Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD: https://www.amazon.com/dp/168403776X/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_2JG8H4VWFSBMBJVQ4AD8 ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety...If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit – Episode 305.  You guys, 305. That sounds like a lot of episodes to me. Oh my goodness. So exciting.  All right. I am really feeling so connected to the message that I have with you today. It has been an ongoing lesson I have learned in my life. It has been something that I have had to fine-tune in my own self-compassion practice. And I know I’ve spoken about this before, but I wanted to come on and do a quick reminder of why the tone of your voice matters more than anything. When I say the tone of your voice, I mean like how you speak to yourself, and that would also include how you speak to other people. That both. Both are very, very important. I’m sure you know this from experience of talking to other people. When your tone is a little off, it tends to create some problems. Am I right? I definitely have some stories to tell you on that one. But there have been so many times over the summer and going now into the fall where I have had to really keep reminding my patients and myself. And I’m going to tell you a couple of stories here about my family where this has gotten so, so important.  <p

Fri, September 30, 2022

Ep. 304 What Does it Mean to Sit with Emotions?

SUMMARY:  Today we have Natasha Daniels, an OCD specialist, talking all about how to help children and teens with OCD and phobias.  In this conversation, we talk all about how to motivate our children and teens to manage their OCD, phobias, and anxiety using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), and other treatments such as self-compassion, mindfulness, and ACT. We also address what OCD treatment for children entails and what changes need to be made in OCD treatment for teens. In this episode, Natasha and Kimberley share their experiences of parenting children with phobias and OCD.   In This Episode: What does sitting with emotions mean?  How to sit with difficult feelings  How to sit with your sadness  How to sit with uncomfortable feelings,  Sit with the feelings  Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety...If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 304.  Welcome back, everybody. It’s a delight to have you here with me today.  Oh, I’ve got so much I want to talk to you about and this is actually coming from an emotion of frustration, this episode, which every time I check in and I begin a podcast, I try to come from a place of fun. And am I feeling calm? And am I feeling completely connected to you, the listener? But today, just for fun, I’m coming to you from a place of frustration. And the frustration, promise, this is not going to be a vent episode – it’s actually a frustration in that I caught an error that I’ve made, and I think a lot of clinicians are making. And it’s not an error in that it’s bad or wrong or problematic. It’s just that I caught something in my own practice, and I was like, “Oh, hold up, we have to talk about this.” So, saddle in, get your cup of tea, settle in, because

Fri, September 23, 2022

Ep. 303 What if the present moment totally sucks?

SUMMARY:  In this episode, I addressed a question that was asked of me by a loyal follower.  They asked,  “What do I do if the present moment totally sucks? Like, what if I have a migraine , nausea , chills , pain?  Any suggestions ?!” This is such a great question and one we probably have all asked ourselves or our therapist at some point.   Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor:This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety...If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 303. Welcome back, everybody. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here with me. Thank you for listening. Thank you for supporting me. I know how valuable your time is, and I know there are so many people that you could spend your time with, especially out on the podcast field. So, I am so, so grateful to have you here with me. Really, really, really I am. I hope that you find these episodes incredibly helpful. My hope is to give you bite-size tools so that you can get on with your life and live your best life. I hope this podcast is everything that you wanted to learn.  This week’s episode, I am totally, totally amped for. The reason being is, it was actually a response to a previous podcast where we talked about being present. Somebody had written back because they subscribe to my newsletter. If you haven’t subscribed to my newsletter, please do so. I will leave a link in the show notes, or you can go over to CBTSchool.com and sign up there. They had responded and said, “But Kimberley, what do I do if the present moment totally sucks?” And they went on to say, “I have a migraine or nausea or chills or pains.” And they said, “What are your suggestions?” I figured, this is probably the question you all have for me. I come on, I share with you tools. And then you guys are probably always going to have a question and this is a really common one. 

Fri, September 16, 2022

Ep. 302 Are Panic Attacks Dangerous?

In This Episode: What is the difference between a Panic Attack and an Anxiety attack?  What is the prevalence of Panic Disorder?  Are anxiety attacks dangerous?  Are Panic Attacks dangerous?  How does anxiety affect the body?  What anxiety does to your body when expereincing a panic attack?   What is the best treatment for panic disorder Links To Things I Talk About: Overcoming Anxiety and Panic Online Course Natasha’s Parenting Survival Online Program www.ATparentingsurvivalschool.com Natasha’s instagram @atparentingsurvival ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more.  Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 302.  Welcome back, everybody. Today, we are talking about a question I get asked very commonly: Are panic attacks dangerous? Now I get this question a lot from clients who are just starting treatment. However, I will say I do get this question a lot on social media. People like doing the last-minute panic DM. What’s happened usually is they’ve experienced a panic attack or an anxiety attack, and then they have the thought, what if this panic attack is dangerous? What if this panic attack creates some illness in my body or is unhealthy for my body or unhealthy for my baby, if they’re pregnant. And so, from there, now they’re having anxiety about their anxiety and, as you guys know, then anxiety just takes off from there. So, I wanted to address this with you first. I’ve got a series of questions that I want to go through here with you. I will be looking a little bit at my notes because I wanted to make sure I got everything today.  Before we do that, let’s first do the “I did a hard thing” segment. This is a segment where you guys write into me and tell me the hard things that you’ve been doing – facing your fears, staring your fear in the face, or maybe it’s something not related to fear. It’s just something that you’ve been going through. So, go ahead and submit those to me any

Fri, September 09, 2022

Ep. 301 Managing OCD Relapze (with Jazzmin Johnson)

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 301. Managing OCD Relapse (with Jazzmin Johnson)  Welcome back, everybody. I am covered in goosebumps. I literally, as we speak, just finished the recording of this episode. I wanted to come on and do the intro right away just because I’m so moved by this week’s guest. This week, we had Jazzmin Johnson. She’s a mental health advocate and she came on to talk about something she felt really, really passionate about, which is relapse, particularly related to relapse with anxiety disorders, even more particular and specific is with OCD. And she brought to the conversation the same struggles that I have seen my patients have over and over with relapse and how hard we can be on ourselves when we relapse and how difficult it can be to pull ourselves out of relapse. It’s a topic that I haven’t touched on nearly enough. And so, I’m just so grateful for her to come on and share her story and the steps she took to overcome any kind of relapse that she was experiencing, and identifying the difference between a lapse and a relapse I thought was really profound. I’m just so excited to share this episode with you. I actually had scheduled it to be out much later and I’m like, “No, no, no, we just have to get this out. This is so, so important.” So, I’m so thrilled. I’m not even going to do an “I did a hard thing” because this whole episode is Jazzmin explaining to us how to do hard things. So, I’m again impressed with how she’s handled it. So, let’s get straight to the show. I love you guys. I hope you can squeeze every ounce of goodness out of this episode. I think the main real message we took away is it’s a beautiful day to do hard things. So, enjoy the show. Kimberley: Welcome, everybody. I am so excited to have a special guest on the show that I’ve actually been wanting. We’ve been talking back and forth. I’m so excited to have Jazzmin Johnson on today. Thank you for being here, Jazzmin. Jazzmin: Thank you so much. I’m absolutely honored and really, really excited to chat. Can OCD Relapse?  Kimberley: Yeah. So, let’s dive in. We are going to talk about relapse, which is a topic I think you brought to my attention. I have not covered barely at all. So, let’s dive into that. But before we do that, can you give us a little background and fill us in up to where we’re at with relapse? Can OCD Relapse?  Jazzmin: Yeah, absolutely. So, my name is Jazzmin. I’m 28 years old. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was just freshly 23. So, it’s been a while. Looking back on my life, I’ve had OCD for a very long time, long before I was 23. So, definitely fun to look back on your life and the moments and say, “Oh, that was an interesting behavior and no one really caught t

Fri, September 02, 2022

Ep. 300 Are Intrusive Thoughts Normal or Dangerous?

Welcome back, everybody. I am so excited to be here. This is my first recording since returning back from Australia, after having five and a half weeks in Australia with my family and I could not be more thrilled. I had the most incredible time. I tell you, my cup was overflowing by the time I left. My heart was full. I didn’t realize that my heart was very empty, even though I have so much love in my life and joy in my life, and in many areas of my life, my cup was so full. But I didn’t realize how much my heart needed to go home and actually just live in Australia for five and a half weeks and let my kids learn what it’s like to live in Australia and be in Australia. It was so wonderful. I’m just so incredibly grateful to have had that opportunity. That being said, I’m really also very, very sad to be back. However, I am making a choice to love-- how can I say it? Like love all of the parts of my life – the hard parts, the good parts, the easy parts, the parts that still don’t make sense to me. I’m making a point to love all the parts and feel all the parts and be gentle with all those parts. And I’m guessing you have some-- well, it may not be that exact experience. I’m guessing there’s some part of your life that you have to practice that with as well. And I strongly encourage it because it just opens up an opportunity for compassion and kindness and no more fighting in your mind. It’s just like, yes, it’s hard being an adult or a human. It’s hard, right? But again, it’s a beautiful day to do hard things. This week on this episode, I’ve actually been wanting to do this episode since I left, because this was one that I was almost going to record before I left and I just ran out of time. It’s funny, I do a lot of Googling for my job, not for reassurance reasons, but often will type in a keyword just to see who’s talking about certain topics and how I can talk about it better with my clients. And often when I type in “intrusive thoughts,” you know how in Google, it auto-populates what it thinks you’re going to ask? It often asks, is intrusive thoughts normal? Are they normal? And the other one that often comes up is, are intrusive thoughts dangerous? And so, I wanted to talk about that because if that’s one of the most Googled questions, well, let’s talk about it. Okay, let’s talk about it because it’s another common. It’s the question that we get asked with my staff. I have a private practice. We have 10 amazing therapists. It’s probably one of the most common questions people ask on their first session. So, let’s talk about it.  Okay. So, the first question is, are intrusive thoughts normal? Well, let’s first get a feel for what is an intrusive thought. Now an intrusive thought is a thought that is intrusive. Meaning you don’t want it. It happens automatically. It just pops into your mind. It’s usually repetitive. It’s usually distressing. Often

Fri, August 26, 2022

Ep. 299 Balancing Exhaustion and Having to Push Through

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 299.  Welcome back, everybody. 299, wow. That is amazing. I am so excited. I don’t know what it is about the word 99 that just makes me so joyful.  One of my favorite episodes is actually number 99, which was the only episode and the only time where I actually have a full conversation with my husband on the podcast, and we talked all about agoraphobia and panic disorder specifically related to flying. So, if you want to hear me and my husband have a good conversation about his experience, that was one of my favorite episodes of all time. But here we are, Episode 299, 200 episodes later, and we’re still going strong. No need to slow down. If anything, let’s speed it up a little. Shall we? Before we get started on this week’s episode, I am going to do the two segments that we do every week. First, I want to give you a little bit of a peek into where we’re going today. So, what we’re talking about is a question I get all the time, particularly when I’m talking about having a chronic illness. Specifically for those of you who have a chronic illness and have a mental illness as well, but also, this could be just for anyone because this is a human problem, this is not a mental health problem.  We’re talking about balancing exhaustion and when you have to “push through” and what do you choose? This has been a huge part of the work for me in my recovery from having postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. I feel like I’ve nailed this. To be honest, this is an area that I have learned very, very well, and it has saved my life literally in terms of I would be crashing and burning with tears and a major tantrum if it weren’t for my ability to balance, rest and push through. So, let’s talk about that in a second.  First of all, we’re going to do the review of the week. This is from Carsoccer27, and they say: “There are a lot of things that this podcast has helped me with. It’s a great toolbox in many of my anxiety triggers. I never knew where to start to help my anxiety. This podcast has helped me find my starting place and has helped me find my self-identity. Highly recommended!” Thank you, Carsoccer27. What a beautiful thing to say. To be honest, for someone to say that I’ve helped them find their self-identity, that is an amazing compliment. That sounds amazing to me. So, I’m so happy I’ve been able to walk along you in the journey of that. That’s just so cool. Okay. We now have an “I did a hard thing” from Anonymous. Anonymous said: “I did an exposure exercise. I get anxiety when I’m around people. So, it was hard for me to get groceries at the store, but I conquered my fear and got the groceries. And another important one is that I graduated college dealing with what I deal with.” Anonymous, I love this.

Fri, August 19, 2022

Ep. 298 7 Questions To Ask Yourself Every Day

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit – Episode 298.  Welcome back, everybody. How are you? It is a beautiful summer day here in California. I love summer. It is very hot, but so happy to be here with you. I’m sitting in my office. I have a cup of tea. I have my little flowers next to me, and I’m just so grateful to have you here with me as well. Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey. I’m so honored. Really, I am. I know you have many options. It’s just an honor to be walking in this journey with you. Today, I want to talk to you about seven questions you can ask yourself every day. It doesn’t mean you have to ask all of them. They’re just my favorite seven questions. They’re questions I ask myself all the time, the questions I ask my patients all the time. They’re not groundbreaking in that they’re going to change your life, but they will definitely keep you on track. 100%. They’re what I call guidance questions. They’re questions that prompt you to go in the next best direction, take the next best step. So, I can’t wait to share those with you. Before I do, let’s do the review of the week. This is from Kendall Wetzel. She said: “Listening to her podcast and following her on Insta--” if you don’t follow me on Instagram, head over to Your Anxiety Toolkit on Instagram. She’s saying, “Following her on Insta has been so great for keeping me in check with my OCD. She’s gentle, positive, and awesome.” Thank you. “So thankful for this free resource.” Thank you so much, Kendall, for your amazing review. I love your reviews. Thank you for putting in the time to do that for me. It’s a gift. Thank you. All right. Before we get into the episode, let’s do the “I did a hard thing.” This is from Joy. Joy said today: “I told my boss I was resigning. It was a hard conversation to have and I overthought everything leading up to it.” Joy, I love that you shared that. We are human beings. We’re doing the best we can with what we have. But Joy goes on to say: “But I did it and it went well. This morning I woke up and I said it is a beautiful day to do hard things and that helped me to get through the day. Thank you.” Wow, Joy, love it. I mean, such a totally human response. Even though we overthink things, you still did it and that is all that matters. That is all that matters. That is all that matters. So amazing. All right. Let’s get into these seven questions. Shall we? All right. I’m actually going to do this pretty quickly, folks. I will leave the questions in the show notes. I strongly encourage you if you’re not driving to sit down and write them out and take some time today to journal on them. Again, it doesn’t have to be all of them. You can make it into a pretty PDF. You could print it out. You could make it into a daily journal, prompts. But these questions, I just sat down and I looked at my computer and I was like, “Okay, what are the questions I commonly ask my patien

Fri, August 12, 2022

Ep. 297 Can You Hold Yourself Accountable Without Being Self-critical?

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 297.  Welcome back, everybody. How are you really? Just doing a quick check-in. I love the quick check-in, the drop down into your chest, the drop down into whatever discomfort you may be having. And just take it a minute to actually check-in. So important. How often are you doing this? Hopefully, multiple times every day.  All right. Today, we are talking about accountability, and this actually came, I was listening to something. I can’t remember even what it was, but someone was having a strong reaction to the word “accountability,” which words matter. They really, really do. But what I think is more important is the meaning in which we place on words. It’s a huge part of diffusing from what we tell ourselves all day. So, the whole point of today is to talk about this important treatment concept or recovery concept. And I’ll come back to why. But it’s so important. It’s so, so important. I’ve got a couple of different views about certain things, so you’ll have to hang with me each. Everyone is so important, but hang with me. Before we do that, let’s first do the review of the week. This is from Maggie Paulson. Maggie wrote: “I love this podcast. I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I recognize that I have anxiety. This podcast has helped me to learn more about how my brain works, and her gentle and loving approach to treatment has helped me learn to handle my intrusive thoughts and my anxiety. To say that has improved the quality of my life is an understatement. I’m very grateful for Kimberley and her podcast.” Thank you, Maggie. You fill up my heart. Thank you so much for your reviews. All of you, even if you just click the five-star review or however many stars you think it deserves. You don’t even have to write a review. You can just give it stars, and that helps me. So, thank you so much.  All right, drum roll. We have the “I did a hard thing” segment. This is from Anonymous. Anonymous said: “Today, I manage not to lapse into a behavioral addiction that I’ve been struggling with for over a year. It’s very easy for me to use this addiction as a coping strategy for the stresses in my life. But I realized today that a good life free of this addiction is better than a good feeling that only lasts momentarily.” Oh my gosh, Anonymous, I want to give you a standing applause right now. “Although every day is going to be challenging when it comes to not lapsing into addiction, if I take each day as it comes and have the attitude that it’s a beautiful day to do hard things, I know I can live addiction free.”  So good. So good, Anonymous. Oh my gosh, lLet me read this line again. It says, “I realized today that a good life free of this addiction is better than a good feeling that only last momentarily.” So much wisdom in that sentence. A

Fri, August 05, 2022

Ep. 296 What is Your Recovery Goal and Why is it SO Important?

In This Episode: The importance of having a specific recovery goal Why you need a recovery goal in order to gain traction with OCD and other anxiety disorders  What does your “recovery dream” look like?  What is getting in the way of your recovery goal?  Learn to live your life “as if” you had already reached your recovery goal.  Links To Things I Talk About: https://www.cbtschool.com/overcominganxiety ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more.  Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION  This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 296.  Welcome back, everybody. I am so fired up for this episode. Oh, I just love this stuff. I love it. I love it. I love it.  Okay. Let’s get started. First of all, let’s do an “I did a hard thing.” This one is epic. This one is from Fisher and they said:  “I have OCD, health anxiety, and panic disorder. And last year, I was diagnosed with POTS,” which is postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. That is the chronic illness that I have also. And they’ve said: “This was very overwhelming for me. I was petrified of exercising because of the exercise intolerance that comes with POTS and worrying that it was a life-threatening cardiac issue.” Oh, I am with you, Fisher. So, for those of you who don’t know what exercise intolerance is, it’s like it’s almost impossible to do exercise. When you stand up, you pass out. And when I’ve been triggered by POTS, it’s hard to even do a block around, walk around the block of my house.  “My doctor did all the cardiac tests to rule out any underlying issues before diagnosing me with POTS and recommended cardiac reconditioning to help me get started with recovery. My first barrier to overcome this was to trust in my physician and their diagnosis

Fri, July 29, 2022

Ep. 295 When Your Fears Appear in Your Dreams

SUMMARY: Today we talk all about how to manage when your fears appear in your dreams.  This was a heavily requested topic, so I hope it was helpful for you. In This Episode: Why our fears and obsessions show up in our dreams What to do when your fears appear in your dreams  How to manage the distress when dreams feel “real”  Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more.  Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION  This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 295. Welcome back, everybody. It is Episode 295, which sounds like a whole lot of episodes. It really, really does. Actually, it shocked me when I saw that number. Today, we are talking about when your fears show up in your dreams. I would say quite regularly, actually, a client, particularly morning clients will often say like-- I’ll be like, “How are you? How was your week?” And they’ll say, “Well, I’m just feeling really overwhelmed. I had the most bizarre dream last night and it’s hard to shake it off.” And so, I’m wondering, I’m guessing. I’ve had this experience, I’m guessing you have too. And I wanted to talk this episode about how we might respond to that situation and what we need to look out for when we have this situation, particularly if you have anxiety. That’s really the specific group of humans we’re speaking to today. And I’ll share a little bit more about that as we get going. All right, before we do that, let’s do the review of the week. This one is from FullWalrus and they said: “I found this podcast by Googling an issue I was having, and this just popped up.” FullWalrus, this makes me so happy. Thank you so much for Googling this and finding me because that means we’re doing a good job at being on the internet and helping people in that way. “I had kept away from podcasts about mental health in fear of being triggered or being told I was crazy after all, and that didn’t happen obviously. Kimberley i

Fri, July 22, 2022

Ep. 294 Can Correcting Thoughts Become a Compulsion?

SUMMARY:  Correcting thoughts can but a very helpful tool to use when you notice that you have lots of thought errors.  However, in some cases, correcting thoughts can become a compulsion.  In this episode, ask the question, “Can correcting thoughts become a compulsion?” And review what you can do to make sure you are not engaging too much in the content of your thoughts.  In This Episode: How to correct your thoughts and how this can help people who have errors in their thinking How to determine when it is helpful to correct your thoughts  How to determine when correcting thoughts is becoming a compulsion Links To Things I Talk About: Overcoming Anxiety and Panic https://www.cbtschool.com/overcominganxiety ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more.  Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION  This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 294.  Welcome back, everybody. What a special treat to have you here with me today.  Today, we are talking about when correcting your thoughts, we call it cognitive restructuring in therapy – when you correct your thoughts, when does that become compulsive? Or we could also say problematic. And so, we’re actually going to go into this today, and then I’m going to let you decide for yourself what is helpful and what’s not. But I hope today is really helpful. It’s a very, very, very important topic. It’s often one of the biggest mistakes therapists make, particularly those who are not trained in anxiety disorders and OCD, and ERP. It’s probably one of the biggest mistakes that they make. So, I want to really review this so that you can have the information in your back pocket and you can make the decisions for yourself. Before we do that, let’s first do the review of the week. This is from Cynthia Safell and Cynthia said:

Fri, July 15, 2022

Ep. 293 I Screwed Up...What Now?

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 293. You guys, I’ve totally screwed up. Oh my God, it’s going to be one of those episodes where I laugh a lot. Maybe not. Who knows?  Alright, I totally screwed up. It’s funny because I have for months been thinking about doing an episode and reminding you guys mostly so I could remind myself that I’m a human being, that I’m going to make mistakes, and it’s one of the biggest lessons that I have had to learn over and over and over and over again. It’s really frustrating, you guys. I’m so frustrated by this fact that humans make mistakes. I don’t like it. It makes me mad. If only we could figure out a way where we don’t and we don’t disappoint people and we don’t screw up. If anyone has figured this out, let me know. Just shoot me an email, tell me your special secret, because I haven’t figured it out yet. So funny.  Okay. Before we get into it, this is actually pretty much a coincidence and I love when big coincidences happen, but the review of the week is actually from Flashcork. They’re writing a specific review on Episode 193, which I think is really cool because this is by coincidence 293. And they said: “This episode 193 is just what I needed to hear today. I’m stressed and anxious about my upcoming trip and experiencing racing thoughts. This will help me to manage those feelings and practice by shortening the leash.” Now, if you haven’t listened to this episode, it is probably one of my most favorite episodes. A lot of my patients and clients have said that this concept has helped them a lot. And so, really go back and listen to 193. If you want to practice being able to be in a place where you can manage those thoughts a little better, go back and check that out. It’s just a metaphor.  Flashcork says: “It makes sense because it has worked for me walking Sally, my Golden Retriever.” I make a reference to thoughts being like a dog on a leash. So, you can go back and listen to that anytime. That’s the review of the week. Thank you, Flashcork. So happy to have you join us.  The “I did a hard thing” is from Allison. Allison says: “I’m going to go on a job interview next week after applying to a different job, going through the grueling interviewing process and at the end not being successful. I’m working really hard to believe in myself, screw up my courage to attend this interview and be open-hearted about the new possibilities. It’s hard to pick yourself up and try again, but I’m doing the hard thing of trying again. I’m scared, but I’m proud of myself.” Allison, you are doing the work. And I’m actually going to take your advice today, Allison, because this is so perfect for the topic of today, which is like, yeah, sometimes we do screw up and we just have to get up and we have

Fri, July 08, 2022

Ep. 292 Uncomfortable Sensations

SUMMARY: In this episode, we explore how to manage uncomfortable sensations. Many people do not struggle with intrusive thoughts and intrusive images, but instead, struggle to manage intrusive sensations. My hope is that this will give you some tools to manage these uncomfortable sensations and help you reduce how many compulsions you do to reduce or remove these feelings. In This Episode: What is an intrusive sensation? What is the difference between an uncomfortable sensation and an intrusive sensation. How to manage uncomfortable sensations such as rapid heartbeat, tingling limbs, numbness, lightheadedness, chest pain, etc. Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 292.  Welcome back, everybody. Today, we are talking about something that I very rarely talk about that I should be talking about more because it’s like 20% of the conversations I have with clients. And I’ll explain to you why in just a second.  First, I’m going to do the review of the week. This one is from Linelulu. And they said: “Grateful. I am so grateful that I stumbled onto your podcasts. Your soothing voice enhances your messages as I am trying to understand more about anxiety, and panic attacks to be a better support for someone very close to me. Thank you!” You are so welcome, Linelulu. Thank you for that beautiful review. Please, I know I ask you every single episode. If you benefit from this podcast, this is one way that you can help me. So, if for any reason you feel like you have a few spare minutes, please do go and leave a review.  The last thing before we get talking about sensations is to do the “I did a hard thing” of the week, and this one is from Camille. Camille says: “I’ve been managing my dermatillomania ,” which we

Fri, July 01, 2022

Ep. 291 Tips to Manage Depression

SUMMARY:  A few months ago, I posted on social media and asked “What are your best tips for depression” and the response was incredible.  Hundreds of people weighed in and shared their best tips for managing depression with OCD and other anxiety disorders.   In This Episode:  Hundreds of people with depression shared what skills they use to manage OCD and depression  What skills can become compulsions  How to manage day-to-day depression when you are feeling hopeless (OCD hopelessness)  Links To Things I Talk About: Kimberley’s Instagram Page https://www.instagram.com/youranxietytoolkit ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit Episode 291. Welcome back, everybody. So, I want to set the scene here because things are shifting. Things have shifted. So, I am right now sitting in my office, which is in Southern California, in the United States. But as this launches and goes live, I will be in Australia for the summer. I think I’ve talked to you guys about this in previous episodes, but my husband and I made a decision that the children and I will go to Australia to see our family for the entire summer. Oh my goodness, what a huge undertaking, but we’re doing it and I am so excited. So, really, I’ve had to batch 10 episodes ahead of time.  Now, what I’ve done is I’ve done my best to make these the best episodes I can batch for you, like the things that seem to be coming up the most for my clients, the questions my staff seem to be asking the most, and the things that everyone seem to be really, really liking and appreciating on social media. And so, in preparation for today, I was thinking about what’s one of the most helpful, most enjoyed, and engaged posts on social media, because I

Fri, June 24, 2022

Ep. 290 Do I Have to Stop All My Compulsions?

In This Episode, we discuss: Is it important that you stop doing all your compulsions? How can I practice Self-Compassion as you move through recovery? How can you balance facing fears and also being gentle on yourself? Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION  This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 290.  Welcome back, everybody. 290, that sounds like a lot of podcast episodes. It’s funny. Sometimes I don’t think of it. If you have asked me on the street, I’d say, “Yeah, I’d have about maybe 110 in the can.” But 290, that is a lot of episodes. I do encourage you to go back and listen to them, especially the earlier ones. They’re my favorite. But no, go back, play around, check out the ones that you love. There’s probably some things there that you could probably go back and have a good giggle at. All right. We today are talking about a question that came from a student in one of my courses. I’ve found this question to be so important. I wanted to bring it in and have it be a podcast episode because I think this is a very important question and I think it’s something we can all ponder for ourselves. Now, before we go into it, I would like to give you the “I did a hard thing.” This is a segment where someone shares a hard thing that they’ve done. And I love the “I did a hard thing” segment probably as much as anything. This one is from anonymous and they said: “I have contamination OCD. And one thing I’ve avoided for a very long time is raw meat and eggs. Over the winter, I discovered that ERP is so much EASIER (and I use this term very loosely in capital letters) if my exposures are value-based.” This is so good, Anonymous. “So I decided that I wanted to be the mom that baked with her kids, anxiety be darned. I wanted my kids to have warm memories baking in the kitchen with their mom as the snow fell. So each week over the winter, we picked a new recipe, and over the weekend we made it as a family. The first time I cracked an egg, my husband took out his phone and took a picture. He was so proud. The exposure

Fri, June 17, 2022

Ep. 289 Whack a Mole Obsessions

In This Episode: What is whack-a-mole obsessions?  Why do my obsessions keep changing?  What is the treatment for fears that keep changing?  Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more.  Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION  This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 289.  Welcome back, everybody. I am so happy to be with you again. I won’t lie. I’m still on a high (that rhymed) from the managing mental compulsion series. Oh my gosh, you guys, I am so proud of that series, that six-part series. If you didn’t listen to it, please do go back. I’ll probably tell you that for the next several podcasts, just because I am really still floating on the coattails of how amazingly, so wonderful that was. And it really seemed to help a ton of people, which is so fulfilling.  I do love-- it’s not because of the ego piece of it, I just do love when I know I’m making an impact. It’s really quite helpful to feel like you’re making an impact. And sometimes when I’m putting out episodes, I really don’t know whether they’re helpful or not. That’s the thing about podcasts compared to social media, is with social media, if you follow me on Instagram @youranxietytoolkit or Facebook, I can get a feel based on how many comments or how many likes or how many shares. But with podcast, it’s hard to know how helpful it is. And the feedback has been amazing. Thank you, everyone who’s left reviews. What a joy, what a joy.  What the cool thing is, since then, it’s actually created this really wonderful conversation between me and my therapist. So, for those of you who don’t know, in addition to me owning CBT School , I also own a private practice where myself and nine of my therapists were actually, now 10 extra therapists, in the process of hiring a new person. We meet once a week or more to discuss cases. And the cool thing about the mental compulsion series is it brought the coolest questions and conversations and pondering, what would this help this client? How would it help that client? These are the struggles my clients are having. Because as I kept saying,

Fri, June 10, 2022

Ep. 288 What To Do When You Get Bad News

SUMMARY:  Today, I share what to do when you get “bad” news.  This episode will share a recent situation I got into where I had to use all of my mindfulness and self-compassion tools.  Check it out! Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more.  Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).   EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION  This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 288.  Welcome back, everybody. We literally just finished the six-week series on managing mental compulsions. My heart is full, as full as full can be. I am sitting here looking into my microphone and I just have a big, fat smile on my face. I’m just so excited for what we did together, and I felt like it was so huge. I have so many ideas of how I want to do something similar in the future with different areas. And I will. Thank you so much for your feedback and your reviews. I hope it was as helpful as it was for me, even as a clinician. I found it to be incredibly helpful, even as a supervisor, supervising my staff. I have nine incredible staff who are therapists, who help treat my clients and we constantly keep referring back during supervision of like, “Do you remember what Lisa said? Do you remember what Reid said? Listen, let’s consider what Jon said or Jon Hershfield said, or Shala Nicely said.” It was just so beautiful. I’m so grateful. If you haven’t listened, go back and listen to it. It’s a six-week series and ugh, it was just so wonderful. I keep saying it was just so wonderful. So, if you go back, I did an introduction, Episode 282. And then from there, it was these amazing, amazing experts who just dropped amazing truth bomb after amazing truth bomb. So, that’s that. Today, I am going back to the roots of this podcast. And I’m sharing with you-- for those of you who have been listening for a while, we usually start the episode with a segment called the “I did a hard thing” segment. This is where people write in and tell me a hard thing that they’ve done. If you go to my website, which is KimberleyQuinlan-lmft.com. There on the podcast page is a place to submit your “I did a hard thing.” And today’s “I did a hard thing” is from yours truly. I just had to share this story with you. I feel like it’s an important story to tell you guys, and I w

Fri, June 03, 2022

Ep. 287 6-Part Series: Managing Mental Compulsions (with Dr. Lisa Coyne)

SUMMARY:  In this episode, we talk with Lisa Coyne about ACT For mental compulsions.  Lisa Coyne addressed how to use Acceptance and Commitment therapy for overcoming mental compulsions. We cover how to identify your values using a fun little trick! In This Episode: How to use Acceptance & Commitment Therapy to manage mental compulsions How to practice Willingness in regards to reducing mental rituals and mental rumination  A fun little Value Based tool for identifying your values.  How to be curious instead of thinking in a limited way.  Links To Things I Talk About: Stuff thats Loud Stop Avoiding Stuff  https://www.newenglandocd.org/ ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).   EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 287.  Welcome back, everybody. I am so excited. We are at Episode 6 of this six-part series of how to manage mental compulsions. You guys, we could not end this series with anyone better than Dr. Lisa Coyne. I don’t know if you’ve heard of Lisa Coyne. I bet you, you probably have. She is the most wonderful human being.  I have met Lisa, Dr. Lisa Coyne multiple times online, never in person, and just loved her. And this was my first time of actually getting to spend some really precious time with her. And, oh my gosh, my heart exploded like a million times. And you will hear in this episode, you will hear my heart exploding at some point, I’m sure. I am so honored to finish out the six-part series with Lisa. This series, let me just share with you how joyful it has felt to be a

Fri, May 27, 2022

Ep. 286 6-Part Series: Managing Mental Compulsions (with Dr. Reid Wilson)

SUMMARY: In this week's podcast, we talk with Dr. Reid Wilson.  Reid discussed how to get the theme out of the way and play the moment-by moment game.  Reid shares his specific strategies for managing mental compulsion. You are not going to want to miss one minute of this episode. Covered in This Episode: Getting your Theme out of the way The importance of shifting your additude Balancing “being aggressive” and implementing mindfulness and acceptance How to play the “moment by moment” game Using strategy to achieve success in recovery OCD and the 6-moment Game Other tactics for Mental compulsions Links To Things I Talk About: Reid’s Website anxieties.com https://www.youtube.com/user/ReidWilsonPhD?app=desktop DOWNLOAD REID’s WORKBOOK HERE  Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 286. Welcome back, everybody. I am so excited. You guys, we are on number five of this six-part series, and this six-part series on Managing Mental Compulsions literally has been one of the highlights of my career. I am not just saying that. I’m just flooded with honor and pride and appreciation and excitement for you. All the feedback has been incredible. So many of you have emailed me or reached out to me on social media just to let me know that this is helping you. And to be honest with you, I can’t thank you enough because this has been something I’ve wanted to do for so long and I’ve really felt that it’s so needed. And it’s just been so wonderful to get that feedback from you. So, thank you so much. The other plus people I want to be so grateful for are the guests. Each person has brought their special magic to how to manage mental compulsions. And you guys, the thing to remember here is managing mental compulsions is hard work, like the hardest of hard work. And I want to just honor that

Fri, May 20, 2022

Ep. 285 - Managing Mental Compulsions (With Dr. Jon Grayson)

SUMMARY: In this weeks podcast, we talk with Dr Jon Grayson about managing mental compulsions. Jon talks about how to use Acceptance to manage strong intrusive thoughts and other obsessions. Jon addressed how to use acceptance with OCD, GAD and other Anxiety disorders. Covered in This Episode: What is a Mental Compulsion? What is the difference between Mental Rumination and Mental Compulsions? How to use Acceptance for Mental Compulsions How to practice acceptance when the intrusive thoughts are so strong. Links To Things I Talk About: Jon’s Book Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: A Personalized Recovery Program for Living with Uncertainty Jon’s Website https://www.laocdtreatment.com/ ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit Episode - 285. Welcome back, everybody. We are on episode three of the six-part series. And if you have listened to the previous episodes, I am sure you are just full of information, but hopefully ready to hear some more. Today, we have Dr. Jonathan Grayson. He’s here to talk about his specific way of managing mental compulsions. As you may know, if you’ve listened before, I strongly urge you to start and go in order. So, first, we started with Mental Compulsions 101. That was with yours truly, myself. Then Jon Hershfield came in. He talked about mindfulness and really went in, gave some incredible tools. Shala Nicely, again, gave some lived experience and really the tools that worked for her. And I have just been mind-blown with both of their expertise. And it doesn’t stop there. We have amazing Dr. Jonathan Grayson today talking about all of the ways that he manages mental compulsions and how he brings specific concepts to help a client be motivated and lean into that response prevention and to reduce those mental compulsions. I am again blown away with

Fri, May 13, 2022

Ep. 284 6-Part Series: Managing Mental Compulsions (with Shala Nicely)

SUMMARY:  In this weeks podcast, we have my dearest friend Shala Nicely talking about how she manages mental compulsions.  In this episode, Shala shares her lived experience with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and how she overcomes mental rituals. In This Episode: How to reduce mental compulsions for OCD and GAD. How to use Flooding Techniques with Mental Compulsions Magical Thinking and Mental Compulsions BDD and Mental Compulsions Links To Things I Talk About: Shalanicely.com Book: Is Fred in the Refridgerator? Book: Everyday Mindfulness for OCD ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 284. Welcome back, everybody. We are on the third video or the third part of this six-part series on how to manage mental compulsions . Last week’s episode with Jon Hershfield was bomb, like so good. And I will say that we, this week, have Shala Nicely, and she goes for it as well. So, I am so honored to have these amazing experts talking about mental compulsions, talking about what specific tools they use.  So, I’m not going to take too much time of the intro this time, because I know you just want to get to the content. Again, I just want to put a disclaimer. This should not replace professional mental health care. This series is for educational purposes only. My job at <a href= "https://www.cbtschool.com/" targ

Fri, May 13, 2022

Ep. 284 6-Part Series: Managing Mental Compulsions (with Shala Nicely)

SUMMARY:  In this weeks podcast, we have my dearest friend Shala Nicely talking about how she manages mental compulsions.  In this episode, Shala shares her lived experience with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and how she overcomes mental rituals. In This Episode: How to reduce mental compulsions for OCD and GAD. How to use Flooding Techniques with Mental Compulsions Magical Thinking and Mental Compulsions BDD and Mental Compulsions Links To Things I Talk About: Shalanicely.com Book: Is Fred in the Refridgerator? Book: Everyday Mindfulness for OCD ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 284. Welcome back, everybody. We are on the third video or the third part of this six-part series on how to manage mental compulsions . Last week’s episode with Jon Hershfield was bomb, like so good. And I will say that we, this week, have Shala Nicely, and she goes for it as well. So, I am so honored to have these amazing experts talking about mental compulsions, talking about what specific tools they use.  So, I’m not going to take too much time of the intro this time, because I know you just want to get to the content. Again, I just want to put a disclaimer. This should not replace professional mental health care. This series is for educational purposes only. My job at <a href= "https://www.cbtschool.com/" targ

Fri, May 13, 2022

Ep. 284 6-Part Series: Managing Mental Compulsions (with Shala Nicely)

SUMMARY:  In this weeks podcast, we have my dearest friend Shala Nicely talking about how she manages mental compulsions.  In this episode, Shala shares her lived experience with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and how she overcomes mental rituals. In This Episode: How to reduce mental compulsions for OCD and GAD. How to use Flooding Techniques with Mental Compulsions Magical Thinking and Mental Compulsions BDD and Mental Compulsions Links To Things I Talk About: Shalanicely.com Book: Is Fred in the Refridgerator ? Book: Everyday Mindfulness for OCD ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 284. Welcome back, everybody. We are on the third video or the third part of this six-part series on how to manage mental compulsions . Last week’s episode with Jon Hershfield was bomb, like so good. And I will say that we, this week, have Shala Nicely, and she goes for it as well. So, I am so honored to have these amazing experts talking about mental compulsions, talking about what specific tools they use.  So, I’m not going to take too much time of the intro this time, because I know you

Fri, May 06, 2022

Ep. 283 6-Part Series: Managing Mental Compulsions (with Jon Hershfield)

SUMMARY: Covered in This Episode: What is a Mental Compulsion?  What is the difference between Mental Rumination and Mental Compulsions?  How to use Mindfulness for Mental Compulsions How to “Label and Abandon” intrusive thoughts and mental compulsions  How to use Awareness logs to help reduce mental rituals and mental rumination  Links To Things I Talk About: Links to Jon’s Books https://www.amazon.com/ Work with Jon https://www.sheppardpratt.org/care-finder/ocd-anxiety-center/ Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more.  To learn about our Online Course for OCD, visit https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp . Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION I want you to go back and listen to that. That is where I walk you through Mental Compulsions 101. What is a mental compulsion, the types of mental compulsions, things to be looking out for. The reason I stress that you start there is there may be things you’re doing that are mental compulsions and you didn’t realize. So, you want to know those things before you go in and listen to the skills that you’re about to receive. Oh my goodness. This is just so, so exciting. I’m mind-blown with how exciting this is all for me. First of all, let’s introduce the guest for today. Today, we have the amazing Jon Hershfield. Jon has been on the episode before, even talking about mental compulsions. However, I wanted him to status off. He was so brave. He jumped in, and I wanted him to give his ideas around what is a mental compulsion, how he uses mental compulsion treatment with his clients, what skills he uses. Little thing to know here, he taught me something I myself didn’t know and have now since implemented with our patients over at my clinic of people who struggle with mental compulsions. I’ve also uploaded that and added

Fri, April 29, 2022

Ep. 282 6 Part Series: Introduction to Mental Compulsions

SUMMARY: Welcome to the first week of this 6-part series on Mental Compulsions.  This week is an introduction to mental compulsions.   Ove the next 6 weeks, we will hear from many of the leaders in our feild on how to manage mental compulsions using many different strategies and CBT techniques.  Next week, we will have Jon Hershfield to talk about how he using mindfulness to help with mental compulsions and mental rituals. In This Episode: What is a mental compulsion? Is there a different between a mental compulsion and mental rumination and mental rituals? What is a compulsion? Types of Mental Compulsions Links To Things I Talk About: How to reach Jon https://www.sheppardpratt.org/care-finder/ocd-anxiety-center/ ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 282 and the first part of a six-part series that I am overwhelmed and honored to share with you – all on mental compulsions. I have wanted to provide a free resource on mental compulsions for years, and I don’t know why, but I finally got enough energy under my wings and I pulled it off and I could not be more excited. Let me tell you why. This is a six-part series. The next six episodes will be dedicated to managing mental compulsions, mental rituals, mental rumination. I will be presenting today the first part of the training, which is what we call Mental Compulsions 101. It will talk to you about all the different types of mental compulsions, give you a little bit of starter training. And then from there, it gets exciting. We have the most incredible experts in the field, all bringing their own approach to the same topic, which is how do we manage mental compulsions? We don’t talk about mental compulsions enough. Often, it’s not addressed enough in treatment. It’s usually very, very difficult to reduce or stop mental compulsion. I thought I would bring all of the leaders, not all of them, the ones I could get a

Fri, April 22, 2022

Ep. 281 Anxiety and Arousal

SUMMARY:  This episode addresses some common questions people have about anxiety and arousal. Oftentimes, we are too afraid to talk about anxiety and arousal, so I thought I would take this opportunity to address some of the questions you may have and take some of the stigma and shame out of discussing anxiety and how it impacts arousal, orgasm, intimacy, and sexual interactions. In This Episode: How anxiety and arousal impact each other (its a cycle) Arousal Non-Concordance and how it impacts people with anxiety and OCD How to take the shame out of arousal struggles Understanding why anxiety impacts orgasms and general intimacy Links To Things I Talk About: Article I wrote about OCD and Arousal Non-Concordance https://www.madeofmillions.com/articles/whats-going-ocd-arousal Come as You are By Emily Nagoski, PhD Come as You Are Workbook By Emily Nagoski, PhD ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com . CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to CBTschool.com  to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 281. Welcome back, everybody. How are you? It is a beautiful sunny day here in California. We’re actually in the middle of a heatwave. It is April when I’m recording this and it is crazy how hard it is, but I’m totally here for it. I’m liking it because I love summer. Talking about heat, let’s talk about anxiety and arousal today. Shall we? Did you get that little pun? I’m just kidding really. Today, we’re talking about anxiety and arousal. I don’t know why, but lately, I’m in the mood to talk about things that no one really wants to talk about or that we all want to talk about and we’re too afraid to talk about. I’m just going to go there. For some reason, I’m having this strong urge with the podcast to just talk a

Fri, April 15, 2022

Ep. 280 Does Anxiety Make You Need to Pee or Poop?

In this week’s podcast episode, we are reflecting on the question, “Does anxiety make you need to pee or poop? Yes, you read that right! Today, we are talking ALL about how anxiety can cause frequent urination and the fear of peeing your pants. Have you found yourself getting anxious you might need to pee or poop in public which, in turn, makes you need to pee or poop in public? Bathroom emergencies are way more common than you think. I even share a story of how I, myself, had to handle the urgency to 🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏿‍♂️ to the restroom. In This Episode: Why do we need to pee and poop when we are anxious? What causes the psychological need to urinate or defecate when anxious? How to stop anxiety Urination How to manage a fear of peeing your pants or pooping your pants How to use mindfulness and self-compassion when experiencing nervous pee syndrome Links To Things I Talk About: Overcoming Anxiety and Panic h ttps://www.cbtschool.com/overcominganxiety ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 280. Welcome back, everybody. I am so thrilled to have you here with me again today. Today’s format is going to be a little different. I have fused the “I did the hard thing” with the question that we’re going to address today. Usually, I sit down to the microphone and I look at my screen and I think about what I want to talk about, and I just start talking about it. To be honest, that is how this show goes. It has always been how this show has gone. But a follower on Instagram reached out to me this week and posed a really great question. So, with her permission, I will anonymously invite you to listen to the question, and then we’re going to talk about some solutions. The reason I wanted to go word for word is I think you’re probably going to get what she’s saying, because I’ve been in this position. I know most of my clients have been in this position. It’s not the funniest thing to talk about. I mean, I love talking about it, but it

Fri, April 08, 2022

Ep. 279 A Quick Self-Compassion Check-in

In todays podcast episode, together we do a self-compassion check in.  First, we address what is self-compassion and then, we check in on our needs.  Mindful Self-Compassion involves first, being aware of what we need and what needs tending to.  In this episode, we also walk through a self-compassion meditation together. In This Episode: What is Self-Compassion? What do I need? How can I give myself self-compassion right now? Self-compassion meditation. Links To Things I Talk About: https://read.amazon.com/kp/embed?asin=B08WGW9XCZ&preview=newtab&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_XSDYJ2MCRJBYEFCPS5NF&tag=cbtschool-20 ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAS T to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 279. Welcome back, everybody. Today on Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, we are talking about self-compassion. We’re doing a self-compassion check-in. It’s been a little while since we’ve checked in on how are you doing with your self-compassion practice. Now, today, we have added a little meditation for you just to supercharge your self-compassion practice. That is my agenda for today. We haven’t done a ton of check-ins lately because life just seems to get away from us. For those of you who do not know, in 2020, I wrote a book called The Self-Compassion Workbook For OCD. It was the joy of life and the biggest challenge of my life business-wise. It was such a huge agenda to have on my plate just as 2020 and COVID breakthrough, but I’m so grateful it’s out. When it was released, I had a lot of stuff out about self-compassion. And then I haven’t checked in with you guys on how you’re doing. So that’s what today is about. Now, before we get into the episode, let’s do the “I did a hard thing” for the week. We always check-in and someone submits the thing that they’ve done that is hard, because what we like to say is “It’s a beautiful day to do hard things.” And today’s is from Anonymous. They said:

Fri, April 01, 2022

Ep. 278 What I learned From My Three Day Silent Retreat

In this week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, I share what I learned from my 3-day silent meditation retreat. This 3-day silent meditation retreat was rough, I won’t lie.  I had to ride many highs and lows, so I wanted to share them with you. Links To Things I Talk About: Tara Brach Silent Meditation Retreat home schedule https://www.tarabrach.com/create-home-retreat/ Mindfulness Book https://www.amazon.com/ ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 178. Welcome back, everybody. I am so thrilled to be here with you today. I recently got back from a three-day silent retreat. I was by myself for the entire three days. It was a three-day silent retreat. I have done silent retreats in the past at Buddhist monasteries and Buddhist retreat centers. This is the first time I’ve done it on my own, and I followed the Tara Brach self-retreat website. I will leave the notes in the show notes so that you can check that out. It was amazing. I can’t lie. I had so many mind-blowing moments and I want to share with you each and every single one. I’m going to give you the cliff notes version. Otherwise, I would have you here for days on end. But I am so excited to share that with you. Before we do that, of course, you know we always do the “I did a hard thing.” This is a segment where someone can write in, submit the hard thing they’ve done. This one is by Mgwolfie1992, and they’ve said: “I have OCD and ASD. Certain shirts do not feel right. Before starting ERP, when I put on a shirt that’s uncomfortable, I immediately take it off, which was making me late for work. After starting ERP, I have slowly worked my way up to wearing and keeping that uncomfortable shirt on for 12 min

Fri, March 25, 2022

Ep. 227 Derealization Depersonalization

Common treatment of derealization and depersonalization Kimberley Quinlan SUMMARY: Derealization & depersonalization are common experiences of anxiety. In this episode, we take a look at the definition of derealization and depersonalization. We also explore the common symptoms of derealization and depersonalization and the treatment of derealization and depersonalization. I also explore mindfulness and CBT skills to help you manage your discomfort and anxiety. In This Episode: The definition of derealization The definition of depersonalization Explore the symptoms of derealization Explore the symptoms of depersonalization Comparing derealization vs depersonalization Common treatment of derealization and depersonalization Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 227. Welcome back, everybody. I am so grateful to have this time with you. As you know, I promised this year would be the year I doubled down and get really into the nitty-gritty of some of the topics that people don’t talk enough about regarding anxiety. Today is so in line with that value Today, we are talking about what is derealization and depersonalization. These are two what I would consider symptoms of anxiety. I see it all the time in my practice. I see it reported and commented all the time on Instagram. If you follow me on Instagram, we put out tons of free information there as well. This is such an important topic. And for some reason, we aren’t talking about these two topics enough. My goal today is actually to give you a 101 on derealization and a 101 on depersonalization. We can touch upon derealization disorder and depersonalization disorder as well, but at the end, I want to give you as many tools as I can to point you in the right direction. Before we do that, let’s do the “I did a hard thing,” because we love that, right? The “I did a hard thing” is a segment where people submit the hard things they’re doing. The main reason I

Fri, March 18, 2022

Ep. 226 Overcoming Health Anxiety with Ken and Maria

SUMMARY: Overcoming Health Anxiety is possible! Today, we interview Ken Goodman and his client Maria on overcoming hpyochondria using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, you will learn key concepts of health anxiety and how to overcome their health anxiety. In This Episode: What it is like to have health anxiety The key concepts of treating Hypochondria Tips for managing fears of death and cancer. A step-by-step approach to overcoming health anxiety. Links To Things I Talk About: https://www.kengoodmantherapy.com/ Quiet Mind Solutions ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 226. Welcome back, everybody. If you have health anxiety, hypochondria, health anxiety disorder, or you know of somebody who has health anxiety, you are going to love this episode. I mean, love, love, love this episode. Today, we have Ken Goodman, who’s on the show. He’s a clinician who’s here with his patient and they’re sharing a success story, a recovery story of health anxiety, and it is so good. I am so honored to have both of them on. It was so fun to actually interview other people and the way they’re doing it, and look at the steps that were taken in order to overcome health anxiety. And this is the overcoming health anxiety story of all stories. It is so, so good. I’m not going to waste your time going and telling you how good it is. I’m just going to let you listen to it because I know you’re here to get the good stuff. Before we do that, I wanted to do the “I did a hard thing” and this one is from Dave. It says: “I’ve been trying to get back into meditating regularly. I was sitting at a desk this morning, reviewing my work emails. And I told myself, before I get even further in my day, I need to meditate. I did a guided meditation, even though I felt a strong pull inside to go back to work. I kept getting caught up in my tho

Fri, March 11, 2022

Ep. 225 What Are the Causes Of Anxiety (And What You Can Do To Overcome It)

SUMMARY:  Many people ask me, “Why do I have anxiety?” and the truth is, there is no clear-cut answer. However, in this week's episode, I give you nine possible causes of anxiety and what you can do to manage anxiety in your daily life. Some causes are in your control, and some are not.  Either way, it is important that you are super gentle with yourself as you explore some of the reasons for anxiety in your life.  In This Episode: NINE possible causes of anxiety for you in your life What you can do to manage your anxiety How to overcome anxiety by changing small behaviors Reasons you experience anxiety may include Genetics Caffeine Distorted Thoughts Behaviors Trauma Environment Stress Management Lack of Tools Isolation (lack of community) Links To Things I Talk About: Time Management for Optimum Mental Health https://www.cbtschool.com/timemanagement ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 225. Welcome back, everybody. Today, we are talking about the causes of anxiety, why you are anxious and what you can do about it. This is a topic I feel like keeps coming up with my clients like, “But why? Why is this happening?” And I totally get it. Now, a lot of the times, I encourage my patients the end goal, jump straight to the end goal is we don’t want to spend too much time trying to solve why we’re anxious. That in and of itself can become a compulsive problematic behavior. But I wanted to just address it because I don’t think I have addressed it yet in the podcast. I thought now is a good time to really just look at some of the reasons we humans are anxious. I’m an anxious person, my guess that the fact that you’re listening to Your Anxiety Toolkit means you or someone you love is an anxious person. So, let’s talk about why we

Fri, March 04, 2022

Ep. 224 Greater Than Panic (with DLCAnxiety)

SUMMARY:  In today's podcast episode, we have Dean Stott from DLC Anxiety talking about his experience with Panic Disorder and Overcoming Panic Disorder.  In his upcoming book, Greater Than Panic, Dean talks about what it was like for him to experience agoraphobia, panic disorder, and other struggles after the death of his father.  Dean spread an inspiring story about overcoming panic and how he is Greater than Panic. In This Episode: What it was like for Dean Stott to have Panic Disorder How he overcame panic disorder using CBT and Mindfulness How Dean created DLC Anxiety, an online platform that helps millions with panic, anxiety and other mental illnesses. Tools that he found helpful to manage his Panic Disorder while also grieving the loss of his father. Links To Things I Talk About: DEANS BOOK GREATER THAN PANIC  Amazon link Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 224.    Welcome back, everybody. We have an amazing guest, a very, very sweet friend of mine. I am so excited to have on with us Dean Stott from DLC Anxiety. He is a true legend. Dean is on the episode today to tell his story about going from having a fairly severe panic disorder to then creating a mental health platform with over 1 million followers. He’s now all about creating mental health awareness sharing with people. He’s such a cool human being. And I’m so honored to have him on today. </p

Fri, February 25, 2022

Ep. 223 What if I Don't Deserve Self-Compassion

SUMMARY: We all know that self-compassion is am important tool for anxiety recovery.  In this weeks episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, I address a common concern; “What if I dont deserve self-compassion?”  This is such a common reason people do not provide themselves with compassion.  In this episode, review the reasons YOU DO DESERVE SELF-COMPASSION and some key concepts and self-compassion mediations to help you practice self-compassion. In This Episode, we cover: Self-Compassion Definition Reasons people feel they do not deserve self-compassion Ways to manage feeling unworthy of self-compassion How to practice Mindful Self-Compassion Links To Things I Talk About: Self-compassion Mediation: Here is a link to several self-compassion meditations from previous episodes. https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/episode-2-lovingkindness-meditation/ https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/ep-134-giving-and-receiving-meditation/ https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/ep-110-this-compassion-practice-tonglen-meditation-for-anxiety-will-change-your-life/ Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 223. Welcome back, everybody. It is a joy to be with you again. Thank you so much for being here with me. Thank you so much for p

Fri, February 18, 2022

Ep. 222 Getting Real about OCD Recovery (with Lora Dudek)

SUMMARY: This week’s episode is incredibly inspiring, with Lora Dudek talking all about getting real about OCD recovery.  Lora shares her experience of having harm obsessions and harm OCD and how she managed being a mom during ERP. Lora also shared some wonderful ERP activities she did to help her keep track of her exposures. In This Episode: What OCD Recovery looks like for Lora Her experience with Harm OCD What kind of Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) Lora used for harm OCD How she used ERP and recovery to decide what her values were (starting a career in ERP) Links To Things I Talk About: ​​Lora Dudek OCD Contact info: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/lora-dudek-lockport-il/935049 https://www.graceandgratitudecounseling.com/ourtherapists ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 222.  Welcome back, everybody. I am so happy to be with you today. Oh my goodness, I’m going to tell you a story, totally off-topic. But today’s episode is number 222, and coincidentally, it’s coming out just by coincidence the week of February 22, 2022. The reason that that is special for me isn’t because I have any kind of affiliation with numbers, it’s that I have this amazing memory of when I was very young. It was the 9th of the 9th, 1999. My mom, who is the most amazing human being in the whole world, had a 9/9/99 party, and everyone had to bring nine of something, nine flowers, nine chocolates. You could bring whatever you wanted. Nine of... We had nine of everything – nine shrimp on the plate, nine prawns. In Australia, we call them prawns. It was such an amazing memory.  I told my children that we were going to do something similar because I just feel like that was such a beautiful memory. And so, I fee

Fri, February 11, 2022

Ep. 221 7 Common Struggles you have with Time Management

SUMMARY: Today, we are going to talk with you about the 7 common struggle you have with time management.  Do you find yourself constantly looking at the clock? Or, wishing time would go faster?  Do you feel like your to-do list is so long that you will never get them done? Or, do you feel like you never have time to prioritize yourself?  In today's, podcast, we talk all about your relationship with time and why it is a HUGE part of managing anxiety, depression, and stress. In This Episode, we address the 7 common struggles you have with time management. “I don't have enough time” “I have so much to do” “I have so much I want to do” “I struggle to start and stop activities” “I don't a good understanding of how long things take” “I don't like structure” “I hate being told what to do with my time” Links To Things I Talk About: ONLINE COURSE Time Management for Optimum Mental Health https://www.cbtschool.com/timemanagement Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit , I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 221. Welcome back, everybody. I am so thrilled to have you here with me today for Episode 221. Oh my, how is that possible? We are getting so much feedback, such amazing feedback from last week’s episode. I wanted to additionally offer you one more bonus piece of content from our new course, which is called Time Management for Optimum Mental Health. You can check it out at CBTSchool.com/TimeManagement. It is a course. We have it for $27. It’s a mini-course, so it shouldn’t take up a ton of your time, and it’s me showing you exactly how I manage time. Now, the reason I created that course was because so many people were reporting to me – clients, followers, listeners – that COVID has destroyed the rhythm and the routines that they had, and that they really want to find a way to implement during their day time to do their therapy homework, do get exercise, maybe have more pleasure in your life, maybe reduce overwhelm, a lot of overwhelm bec

Fri, February 04, 2022

Ep. 220 Time Management Procrastination

SUMMARY: In this episode, we review how important it is to address procrastination, as it impacts so many people in so many ways.   We also will review how procrastination is the same thing as avoidance and how people can work towards implementing time management skills to help them build a routine that helps them get the things they want to get done. In This Episode: We outline procrastination definition and procrastination pros and cons. How procrastination is simply an avoidance safety behavior. How to manage procrastination in , Anxiety, OCD and OCD recovery Our new course called Time Management for Optimum Mental Health Links To Things I Talk About: ONLINE COURSE Time Management for Optimum Mental Health https://www.cbtschool.com/timemanagement Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 220. Welcome back, everybody. How are you? Really, really, how are you? How is your heart? How is your mind? What’s showing up for you? How are you? I really want you to check in, in case you haven’t checked in for a while. How are you doing? It’s important. Let’s make sure we check in. Today, we’re talking about procrastination. It’s one of the most common questions I get when I’m doing live calls on Instagram and Facebook, like how do I manage procrastination? A lot of you are also managing perfectionism and it’s getting in the way of you doing the things you want to do or doing the things you have to do. Because I get asked this so much, I actually wanted to show people how I do it. So what I did is I created a whole mini-course, it’s called Time Management For Optimum Mental Health. You can get it if you go to CBTSchool.com/TimeManagement , or you can click the link in the show notes below. It’s a full course of showing you how I manage time and why I manage my time to help manage my mental health and my medical health. A lot of you know I have struggled with a chronic illness. Time management has been huge in me staying functioning and managing mental overwhel

Fri, January 28, 2022

Ep. 219 Do You Have a Healthy Relationship with Alcohol (with Amanda White)

SUMMARY: Today we have Amanda White, an amazing therapist who treats anxiety, eating disorders and substance use. Amanda is coming onto the podcast today to talk about her book, Not Drinking Tonight and how we can all have a healthy relationship with alcohol. Amanda White talks about ways you can address your relationship with alcohol, in addition to drugs, social media and other vices. Amanda White also shares her own experience with alcohol use and abuse and her lived-experience with sobriety. In This Episode: Do you have a healthy relationship with alcohol Why we use alcohol and substances to manage anxiety and other strong emotions How to build a healthy relationship with alcohol. How to manage substance abuse, anxiety and substance use in recovery. Tools and tips to manage alcohol use and abuse Links To Things I Talk About: Easiest place to get Amanda’s book with all links amandaewhite.com/book Instagram @therapyforwomen My therapy practice therapyforwomencenter.com ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). Episode Transcription This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 219. Welcome back, everybody. I am thrilled to have you here with me today. You may notice that the podcast looks a little different. That is on purpose. We have decided to update the cover of the podcast. It now has my face on it. There were a lot of people who had reached out and said that the old podcast cover art looked like a gardening podcast. And I thought it was probably time I updated it. So, that was something that I had created years and years and years ago. And I’m so thrilled to have now a very beautiful new cover art. Okay. This episode is so, so important. I cannot stress to you how overjoyed I was to have the amazing Amanda White on the podcast. She’s a psychotherapist. She’s on Instagram, under the handle Therapy For Women. She’s so empowering. And she talks a lot about your relationship with substance use, partic

Fri, January 21, 2022

Ep. 218 The Danger of Catastrophization

In today’s episode, Kimberley Quinlan talks about the importance of identifying catastrophic thinking. The reason this is so important is that this type of cognitive distortion or cognitive error can increase one’s experience of anxiety and panic, making it harder to manage it at the moment. Kimberley talks about the importance of mindfulness and self-compassion when responding to catastrophization also.  In This Episode: What is Catastrophization? Why is it important that we catch how we catastrophize? How to manage Catastrophization? How correcting our thoughts can help, sometimes..but not always. Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 218. Welcome back, everybody. How are you doing? How are you really? Just wanted to check in with you first, see how you’re doing. We’re friends, so it’s my job to check in on you and see how you are. Thank you for being here with me again. I do know how important your time is, and I am so grateful that you spend it with me. Thank you. That is such a joy and it’s such a wonderful experience to know that I am spending time with you each week. This week, we are talking about the danger of catastrophization. Now, I’ll talk with you a little bit more about what that means here in a second, but basically what I want to do in this episode is really to take off from the very first episode of this year, which was the things I’d learned in 2021. One of the points that I made there was to really take responsibility for your thought errors, right? And I wanted to pick one of the thought errors that I see the most in my clients. In fact, in the last couple of weeks, it’s been an ongoing piece of the work we do. It’s not all of the work, but it’s a piece of the work, is for me just to be, I’m still doing teletherapy. So, we’re sitting across from the screen and just reflecting and modeling back to them some of the ways in which they speak to themselves and really looking at how helpful that is and how that impacts them.</p

Fri, January 14, 2022

Ep. 217 The Benefits of Meditation for Anxiety & OCD

SUMMARY:  Today we have Windsor Flynn talking about how she realized the benefits of meditation for anxiety and OCD in her recovery. Winsdor brought her lived experience and training to the conversation and addressed how meditation has helped her in many ways, not just with her OCD and mental health. In This Episode: The benefits of meditation for general anxiety The benefits of meditation for OCD The roadblocks to practicing meditation How Mindfulness and mediation help with daily stress (especially through COVID-19) Links To Things I Talk About: Instagram: @windsormeditates Instagram: @Windsor.Flynn Website: www.windsorflynn.com (Windsor is certified to teach the 1 Giant Mind 3 Day Learn Meditation course). ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 217. You guys, 217. That’s a lot of episodes. I’m very excited about that. Today, we have with us the amazing Windsor Flynn. I cannot tell you how incredibly by inspired I am with Windsor. She is very cool and has so much wisdom and so much kindness to share. Today, we have her on to talk about having anxiety and learning the importance of meditation. Now, Windsor speaks specifically about having OCD and how much it has helped her to take up a meditation practice. She goes over the couple of main key points, which is number one, anyone can meditate. And that meditation can be user-friendly for people, even with OCD. And she said, “Especially for people with OCD.” And she actually gives us the amazing gift of a guided meditation at the end, that just helps you bring your attention to the present and learn to drop down into your compassion and your body. And then the third point she makes is that meditation can be integrated into your life, even if you feel like you don’t have time, or even if it’s really uncomfortable. And she shares some amazing experiences and examples of where she really struggled and how she got through those difficulties. So, I’m going to quickly first do the “I did a har

Fri, January 07, 2022

Ep. 216 5 Things I learned in 2021

SUMMARY:  Today, I wanted to dedicate an entire episode to the five things that I learned in 2021. I have found 2021 to be one of the harder years, but probably the most transformational for me, and that is one of the things I’ll talk about here very, very soon. The 5 Things I learned this Year: Recovery goes smoother when you slow down and act intentionally Life is not supposed to be easy It is my responsibility to manage my mind Catch your thought errors I am not for everyone Links To Things I Talk About: Changed our name on Instagram Lots of exciting information on cbtschool.com ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 216. Hello, my friends. Happy 2022! Oh my goodness, it is crazy to say that. I’m excited for 2022, to be honest. I’ve had enough with 2021, I’m not going to lie. And I’m guessing that you are in the same boat. I’m grateful for 2021. Absolutely, I’m not going to lie, but I’m really happy to be here in 2022. Today, I wanted to dedicate an entire episode to the things that I learned in 2021. I have found 2021 to be one of the harder years, but probably the most transformational for me, and that is one of the things I’ll talk about here very, very soon. Before we do that, you may notice that the show looks a little different. We have new podcast cover art. If you follow me on Instagram, there’s a ton of different visual and aesthetic changes there as well, as well as that we have changed the name to Your Anxiety Toolkit instead of being Kimberley Quinlan. I will explain a little bit about why I’ve made these changes here in a very little moment. Before we get into the good stuff of the show, the bulk of the show, I want to give you the very best stuff, which is the “I did a hard thing” segment. So here we go. For those of you who are new, every week, people submit thei

Fri, December 17, 2021

Ep. 215 Setting Boundaries with Loved Ones

In This Episode: How to identify what your role is in a relationship How to manage a mental illness and set boundaries How boundaries are needed when you are in recovery How to set boundaries with a loved one during the holiday season. Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 215. Welcome back, everybody. It is the final episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit for the year 2021. I will not be putting out a podcast next week because it falls right on the holidays, and I really wanted to make sure I give you all time to be with your family instead of listening to my voice. If you are in the holiday season and you want to listen to my voice, there are so many, in fact, there are 214 episodes. You can go back and listen to. I just want to be with my family, and I want you to be with the people you love. Speaking of people you love, today we’re talking about setting boundaries with loved ones or managing our relationship during the holidays. However, I did a whole episode about this last week. You can go back. It’s episode 214, where we talk about holiday anxiety. We did discuss some of this there as well. So, you can go back and listen there. But for right now, I want us to talk about managing relationships, specifically during the holidays, but this episode can be applied to any old day of the week. Now, before we get started, we always do the “I did a hard thing.” This one is from Rachel. We do an “I did a hard thing” to motivate you, to remind you that there are more people out there going through what you’re going through. You’re not alone. Rachel shared with us today: “I have somatic OCD.” For those of you who don’t know what that means, it means that you have OCD about specific sensations that show up in your body. You sometimes feel like you can’t stop noticing them or you’re afraid you will never stop noticing them. Sometimes you’re afraid that the feeling will never go away and it can feel really disorienting. So, Rachel says: “I have somatic OCD, and I always need to distract myself not to notice them

Fri, December 10, 2021

Ep. 214 Managing Holiday Anxiety (Q&A)

SUMMARY: I had so many people asking questions about how to manage holiday anxiety and stress that I decided to do an entire podcast on this.  This is part 1 of a 2-part podcast Q&A. In This Episode: Q&A from this episode include How do I enjoy the holidays? How do I let go of the last Christmas? How do I survive the Holiday blues? How do I survive the holidays? How do I manage social anxiety over the holidays? How do I manage holiday travel anxiety? How to manage the financial stress of the holidays? Mental Health Holiday gift guide? How do I let go of my holiday expectations? Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 214. Welcome back, everybody. We are approaching the holiday season. In fact, some of you may already be in the holiday season. And if that is so, I wish you nothing but joy and peace and fulfillment. I really do. I hope you have moments of elated joy. Now, while that is my wish and my intention for you, I also know that the holidays can be pretty dang hard. It is anxiety-provoking for the best of people, let alone if you’re already struggling with a mental illness or an anxiety disorder, or you’re struggling with anything really. It can be so incredibly difficult. So, what I wanted to do is answer some of your questions. So, what I did is I went on to Instagram and I asked my community: What are your questions? What do you need help with over the holidays? And they’ve given me a bunch of things to talk about, and I’m going to go through each and every one of them. Now, this is actually a two-part podcast. This week I’m answering general questions about managing anxiety throughout the holiday season, or just general stresses. And next week, we’re talking about setting boundaries during the holidays with family and loved ones. Setting boundaries. However, the truth is we don’t even need to make this specific to the holidays. This is for everybody at any time.

Fri, December 03, 2021

Ep. 213 Treating Children with OCD and Phobias (with Natasha Daniels)

SUMMARY: Today we have Natasha Daniels, an OCD specialist, talking all about how to help children and teens with OCD and phobias.  In this conversation, we talk all about how to motivate our children and teens to manage their OCD, phobias, and anxiety using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), and other treatments such as self-compassion, mindfulness, and ACT. We also address what OCD treatment for children entails and what changes need to be made in OCD treatment for teens. In this episode, Natasha and Kimberley share their experiences of parenting children with phobias and OCD. In This Episode: The difference between the treatment of OCD and phobias for children What OCD therapy for kids looks like compared to OCD therapy for adults How to practice exposure and response prevention for kids and teens How to motivate teens and kids to face their fears (using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Special tricks and tools to help parents support their children with OCD and phobias. Links To Things I Talk About: Natasha’s Parenting Survival Online Program www.ATparentingsurvivalschool.com Natasha’s instagram @atparentingsurvival ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 213. Welcome back everybody. Oh, so happy to be here. How are you? How are you doing? I’ve been thinking about you all so much lately, reflecting a lot after Thanksgiving, being so grateful for you and this community and for your support. So, thank you, thank you, thank you. I am super thrilled to have the amazing Natasha Daniels on. Natasha is an OCD specialist. She is an amazing therapist who is skilled at treating children with OCD and phobias. She does an incredible, incredible job. So please do check the show notes to learn more about Natasha. But today, she came on to talk about managing anxiety in the kiddos. We don’t talk enough about managing

Fri, November 26, 2021

Ep. 212 How much ERP should I do daily?

SUMMARY: In today’s podcast, we take a deep dive into a common question I get from followers and CBTschool.com members. HOW MUCH ERP SHOULD I BE DOING DAILY?  Because ERP is such an important part of OCD treatment and OCD therapy, I wanted to outline how you might set up an ERP plan for yourself and how that can help you with your OCD treatment. In This Episode: What is ERP (exposure and response prevention)? What an Exposure and Response Prevention plan looks like. How to determine how much ERP you should do each day Why it is important to practice ERP for OCD, health anxiety, and other anxiety disorders. How to taper off doing ERP once your obsessions and compulsions have reduced. How to practice self-compassion during ERP Links To Things I Talk About: ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Kimberley’s ERP Book: The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD CBTschool.com Episode Sponsor This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit – Episode 212. Welcome. I am so thrilled today to talk to you about a question I get asked all the time, which is, how long should I be doing exposure and response prevention per day? So we are going to go all the way through that here in just a sec. But before we do that, we always start the show with our “I did a hard thing.” Now, each week people submit their “I did a hard thing” and we share it because we want to spread the word on all of the hard things that people are doing to inspire you, to help you realize you’re not alone and to help give you that little bit of motivation to face your fears as well. Now, what we usually do after that is we do the review of the week as well, which is where people leave a review on iTunes for this podcast, Your Anxiety Toolkit. But today, somebody left a review that was also the “I did a hard thing.” So I thought, no better opportunity than to do both at once. This is from Jayjenpe

Fri, November 19, 2021

Ep. 211 People Pleasing (with Shala Nicely)

In this week’s podcast episode, we have the amazing Shala Nicely, author of Is Fred in the refrigerator? and Everyday Mindfulness for OCD.  In this episode, we talked about people-pleasing and how people-pleasing comes from a place of shame, anxiety, and fear of judgment from others.  Kimberley and Shala share their own experiences with people-pleasing and how it created more shame, more anxiety, and more distress. In This Episode: The definition of people-pleasing How it is common for people who have OCD and Anxiety disorders. How people-pleasing impacts people’s self-esteem and their wellbeing. How people-pleasing anxiety keeps us stuck. How to manage people-pleasing in daily life. How self-compassion can help to manage people-pleasing. Links To Things I Talk About: Shala’s Website shalanicely.com Shala’s Book “Is Fred In the Refrigerator?” ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). Episode Transcription This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 211. Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I’m your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn’t get to decide how you live your life. And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because experiencing anxiety ain’t easy. If that sounds good to you, let’s go. Welcome back, everybody. This is an episode I am so excited to share with you. Maybe actually “excited” isn’t the word. I feel that this is such an important conversation. Today we have my amazing friend and someone I look up to and I consider a mentor, the amazing Shala Nicely. She’s be

Fri, November 12, 2021

Ep. 210 How Avoidance Keeps You Stuck

SUMMARY: Quite often, my clients forget to recognize avoidance as a compulsion.  While you might be spending a lot of time in your recovery reducing compulsions such as reassurance-seeking compulsions, behavioral compulsions, and mental compulsions, it is important to recognize that avoidance is also a compulsion.  In this episode, we address why it is important to address the things you are avoiding and find a way to incorporate this into your OCD treatment. In This Episode: Why Avoiding your fear keeps you stuck in the obsessive-compulsive cycle What is an avoidant compulsions? How to manage avoidant compulsions? Links To Things I Talk About: ERP SCHOOL Other podcast episodes about avoidance Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 210. Welcome back, everybody. I am so thrilled to have you here. How are you doing? How is your anxiety? How is your depression? How is your heart? How is your grief? How is your anger? How is your joy? How are you? How is your family? All things that I hope are okay and tender, and there’s a safe place for all of those things to be. Today’s episode is in inspiration of a session I recently had with a client—a client I’ve seen for some time. We are constantly talking about safety behaviors, ways that we respond to fear. I had mentioned to him that of course, one of the safety behaviors we do are from fear, and in response to fear is avoidance. We avoid things. And he had said, “Oh, I completely forgot about avoidance. I completely forgot that was one of my safety behaviors.” Sometimes we put so much attention on the physical behaviors and the mental compulsions that we forget to check in on what are you avoiding and how avoiding things and fear keep us stuck. So, that’s what we’re talking about today. Before we do that, let’s first do the review of the week. This is from Ks Steven, and they said: “Short and sweet. This podcast is one of my highlights of

Fri, November 05, 2021

Ep. 209: An ERP Success Story (with Taylor Stadtlander)

SUMMARY:  There is nothing I love more than sharing the success stories of people who are using ERP to manage their OCD and intrusive thoughts.  In this week’s podcast, I interview Taylor Stadtlander about her OCD recovery and how she used ERP School to help her manage her intrusive thoughts, compulsive behaviors.  Taylor is incredibly inspiring and I am so thrilled to hear her amazing ERP Success story. In This Episode: Taylor shares how she learned she had OCD  Taylor shares how she created her own ERP recovery plan and the challenges and successes of her plan  Taylor shares how she used ERP School to help her put her ERP recovery plan together and how she now uses her skills in her own private practice. Links To Things I Talk About: Taylor’s Private Practice: https://www.embracinguncertaintytherapy.com/ Taylor’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/acupofmindfultea/ ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com.  CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors.  Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION Kimberley: Welcome. I am so excited to have here with me Taylor Stadtlander. Taylor: Yes. Thanks. I’m so excited to be here. Kimberley: Oh, thank you for being here. I am so excited about this interview. You’re someone I have watched on social media, and it’s really cool because out of there, I realized you were someone who had been through CBT School and I just love hearing the story of how you things get to me. I love that story. So, thank you for being on the show. Taylor: Of course. Thank you so much for having me. Kimberley: Tell me a little bit about you and your mental health and mental wellness journey, as much as you want to share. Tell us about that. Taylor: I’ll start with, I am an OCD therapist right now. And I start by saying that because, honestly, if you were to

Fri, October 29, 2021

Ep. 208 Managing Exhaustion

The Self-compassion Workbook for OCD is here! Click HERE to learn more. This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 208. Welcome back, everybody. We are on the final week of the 30-day Self-Compassion Challenge. You guys, the growth has been profound to watch you guys, to hear from you guys, sharing what’s working, what you’re struggling with, the major strides you’ve made. I have loved every single second of it. I will be doing my best to compile all the audio. I think about 27 of the 30 days we did a live or the 31 days. We’ll be doing lives and I will compile them into one whole little mini-course that will be free for everybody on the cbtschool.com. That is yet to come. I cannot wait to hand that over to you guys. We are on the final week and I wanted to address the elephant in the room, which is exhaustion. Today, I want to talk to you about managing exhaustion because the one thing I know for sure is you’re exhausted. I’m exhausted. We’re all exhausted. It’s so hard to get motivation. It’s so hard to keep going. So we are going to talk about it today. Here we go. Before we go, I wanted to do the “I did a hard thing.” We do it every weekend. This is from A Life With Uncertainty. They said: “The last two years have been FULL of hard things. The hardest was telling my husband in therapy that our marriage was the main obsession during my worst OCD spike. I was scared and anxious. He wouldn’t understand. It was such a huge exposure, and I pushed through without seeking reassurance. I CRIED A LOT, but so did he. The hard thing brought a softness to our marriage that I will always have, no matter what OCD tells me.” This is beautiful. This is the work. Because what does anxiety take the most from us? The people we love. It impacts the people we love. It impacts the relationships and the things we get so much joy from. Holy smokes, A Life With Uncertainty, you are doing such brave, such courageous work. I’m so happy you put that into the “I did a hard thing.” How incredibly inspiring. I just love this stuff so much. I really do. Before we get into the episode, let’s do a quick review of the week. This is from Nervous Nelly saying: “I’m so grateful I found this podcast a couple of months ago. It has changed my whole approach to my own and my loved one’s anxiety. This podcast provided so many tools that I practice using and learning to look at my anxiety differently. The biggest change is recognizing that when I’m having anxious thoughts more quickly before they go too far and the automatic responses that I wasn’t even aware of, or should I say that I wasn’t aware, were so counterproductive to my mental well-being. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and please keep doing what you’re doing.” Yay, I’m so happy to hear that. Nervous Nelly, welcome. I’m so happy you’re here and let’s keep going together, which bri

Fri, October 22, 2021

Ep. 207 Fierce Self-Compassion (with Kristen Neff)

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 207. Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I’m your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn’t get to decide how you live your life. And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because experiencing anxiety ain’t easy. If that sounds good to you, let’s go. Welcome back, everybody. This is a really exciting podcast today. We have back on the show the amazing Kristin Neff. Now, as you all know, we’re doing a 30-day Self-Compassion Challenge and it is the perfect time to bring on Kristin Neff, who has written a new book called Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive. Now, while the book is directed towards women, it actually is for everybody. So, we’re speaking today in this interview about fear self-compassion and it’s for everybody. It’s particularly valid to those of us who are struggling with anxiety and have to really work hard at facing fears every day. I am so grateful we got to have Kristin on. She had so many beautiful things to say. If you like the episode, please go over and purchase her book. She too has a book out and again, it’s called  Fierce Self-Compassion, and it might help you really deep dive into this practice of fierce self-compassion . Before we get over to the show, let’s talk about the “I did a hard thing” segment. This one we have is from Eric, and he has said: “I’ve been working on my anxiety about the heat by spending every day I can in the sauna of my gym. I work up a good full-body sweat, and it feels so uncomfortable, but I stick with it knowing it will pay off.” Eric, this is so amazing. What an amazing way for you to stare your fear in the face, practice being uncomfortable. I love it. In addition to that, let’s move right over to the review of the week. This one is from Emily. Emily says: “Kimberley consistently shares a genuine compassion across all of her podcast episodes. She’s been a source of encouragement on my journey with OCD, anxiety, and depression because her message remains one of the consistent self-compassion while sharing a realistic perspective and the reality of mental health struggles.” Thank you so much. You’re so welcome, Emily. I am jus

Fri, October 15, 2021

206: The Roadblocks to Self-Compassion

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 206. Welcome back, everybody. How are we doing? We are on week 3 of the Self-Compassion Challenge. So welcome if you are new and you haven’t caught up with our Self-Compassion Challenge. We are doing a 30-day Self-Compassion Challenge for everybody, so everyone can dabble in their self-compassion practice, maybe strengthen their self-compassion practice, and hopefully thrive with their self-compassion practice. Today, we’re going to talk about the roadblocks to self-compassion. Now, this is coming directly from my new book called The Self-Compassion Workbook For OCD . However, even if you don’t have OCD, this will apply to you. I did a poll on Instagram with almost a thousand people who wrote in and polled on the biggest roadblocks that they’re having, and I’ve compiled it. Thankfully, I used it in the book. The cool news is there were so many people who agreed on those top eight roadblocks. So I wanted to share them with you today. We’re going to go through each and every single one. But before we do that, I would like to first do the “I did a hard thing” segment. Now, for those of you who are new, welcome. The “I did a hard thing” segment is where you write in and you tell me the hard thing that you have done. Today’s is from anonymous, and they have said: “I just got on a ship for a daily trip and I forgot to take with me my medication. I don’t use the medication that much, but I do feel safe when I have them with me. This makes me anxious, but I am choosing to manage my anxiety.” How cool is that? Sometimes things don’t go as we plan, and we have to rely on all of our tools and it sounds like Anonymous is doing that in an amazing way. All right. I have been doing a review of the week for people who submit a review for the podcast. However, as I’m recording this, the reviews have started to come in for the book and I couldn’t help myself but share the very first review for the book. It made my heart explode. I was taking a walk. My friend called me to tell me there was a review, and I basically burst into tears. So here we go: “I’ve read a number of books on OCD in the past, but Kimberley’s emphasis on self-compassion and its place in the ERP process is so, so refreshing and so very important. This is a must-read for anyone with OCD or anyone helping a loved one through OCD. It is a beautiful day to do hard things.” Thank you so much for that amazing review. The reviews literally are changing my life. Oh my goodness, I can’t tell you, when you write a book, there is so much anxiety involved, at least there was for me. And so to have people enjoy the book is just literally the most amazing thing. The most amazing thing. I had no idea. Number on

Fri, October 08, 2021

Ep. 205 Is your Self-Compassion Practice conditional or unconditional?

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 205. Welcome back, everybody. We are on week 2 of this Self-Compassion Challenge. For those of you who are new to the podcast, or didn’t hear last week’s episode, go back and listen to that. We are on week 2 of a 30-days Self-Compassion Challenge. My whole goal is that you learn how to treat yourself kindly and compassionately as you move through difficult times. We are doing this to celebrate the launch of my very first book ( The Self-Compassion Workbook for OCD ), which I am so proud of and so excited about. Thank you to everybody who has purchased the book, supported me on social media, shouted me out to their friends and fellow followers. I cannot tell you how grateful I am. If you have got the book and you’re enjoying the book, please do go and leave a review over on Amazon, share your honest opinion or share your thoughts on social media or with anybody you can, because the more people I can help, the happier. I am. We are moving on today in this episode onto the second most important part of self-compassion in my mind. Now, this is taken directly from the book, even though the workbook is called The Self-Compassion Workbook For OCD . This is a concept I talk to all my clients about. It’s something I constantly check in with myself about, and it has been probably one of the most important parts of my recovery in mental health in many, many ways. So I am so excited to share this with you. Before we do that, I do want to go over and share the review of the week. For those of you who are new to the podcast or are old to the podcast, I love your reviews on iTunes. It helps me reach more people. So this week is from Looney Lovey. It says: “A gift of a podcast. I am so incredibly thankful I found this podcast. I have experienced OCD since I was 10, and this has been one of the most amazing tools. I seriously thank God for leading me to this podcast every day. It is like having a therapist in your pocket. Kimberley is so sweet, and her openness and kindness make the listener feel so welcome.” Thank you, Loony Lovey. The next thing I wanted to share is the “I did a hard thing.” Now, let’s take a step back here and really look at self-compassion as really being a hard thing. And so, a lot of you have actually written in and said, self-compassion was one of the hard things that they’ve been practicing. However, this week we have a hard thing from anonymous and they’ve said: “I have a fear of disease. I recently had two close friends get a diagnosis where this would make me feel fear for myself and my family. I chose to show up for my friends and continue on a daily basis, working on my mental boundaries, not making their illness about me, and my fear is about that stopping me from supporting them. I struggle with feeling ever

Fri, October 01, 2021

Ep 204: A Self-Compassion Challenge- What do I need right now?

Hello everyone! Today is the day that my very first book is out in the world for you to get. I could just die of excitement. So, for those of you who don’t know, I spent a large part of 2020 writing my first book. It is called the  Self-Compassion Workbook For OCD: Lean into Your Fear, Manage Difficult Emotions and Focus on Recovery . I could cry. I am so excited that it is finally here. It was such a huge project in my life. Now I’m just thrilled to share it with you guys. Now, what does that mean for you? You can go and purchase the book wherever you buy books. You may order it on Amazon if you don’t have a bookstore near you. But in addition to getting the book, which is literally like, ah, I put my whole soul into this project – what you can do in addition to that is this month, for the month of October, we are going to do a self-compassion challenge. Now, before you turn the stereo or your iPhone or your iPod off, stay with me because I really strongly believe that this challenge could change your life, whether you have OCD or not. I really want to focus this month on improving your relationship with yourself, improving your relationship with self-compassion, working through the roadblocks that you have. I’m going to be doing a lot of live instruction on Instagram and hopefully on Facebook as well, depending on technology. But if you don’t follow me on Instagram, head over there, if you’re not signed up for the newsletter, head over there, because my goal is to really nurture you through this process and get you having a self-compassion practice that is rich and fulfilling and healing. So, so, so important. Today, we’re going to kick it off right away. We’re going to talk about the first main point I want you to do. Before we do that, let’s do a couple of important pieces. So first thing, we’re going to do the “I did a hard thing” segment. This one is from Elle and she has said: “I sat outside in 92-degree weather to eat my croissant. Even though being in overly hot places makes me anxious, I just wanted to be outside.” Thank you so much, Elle, for that submission. Really what I hear you saying is you were willing to tolerate heat, which is often a really big trigger for people with anxiety, but you did it because it’s what your soul was asking for, which is a huge piece of what today’s podcast is all about. Now we’ll move on to the review of the week. This is from Cynthia. She said: “I’m so excited to share these podcasts with my clients. I was first introduced to Kimberley’s clear and compassionate teaching style when I took ERP School for therapists, which is the CEU course. In the past three weeks since taking the course, I recommended both the course and podcast to my clients. So helpful. Thank you, Kimberley.” Yay, I’m so happy to hear that, Cynthia. All I have to say, it’s all co

Fri, September 24, 2021

Why is it important to face our fears?

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 203. Welcome back, everybody. Today’s episode is all about why it is so important that we expose ourselves to our fears. It’s one of the most common questions I get asked from my clients, right? Which is, why do I have to do this hard work? Why? Why of all the treatments is mine the one where I have to face my fears. Because my clients ask this all the time, I wondered whether you needed a quick pep talk just to get you back on track, to remind you why and to motivate you towards facing your fears, because it is probably the most valuable change of behavior that you will do. Welcome back. I am so happy to have you here with me today to talk about that specific topic. Before we get started, I would like to quickly dive in to really set the scene today. We’re going to talk about the hard thing, the “I did a hard thing” segment. Today’s hard thing is from anonymous, and they have submitted saying: “I haven’t drank coffee for over two years since my OCD breakdown because I was too scared. But today, I went to Costa and I had a caramel latte. I got heart palpitations for a few hours, but I sat with it. This is exactly what I’m talking about. So, Anonymous, this is so good. I am so proud of you. This is the work that we do. And I’m going to use Anonymous’ example here throughout the podcast to really tie this together. All right, one more thing before we get moving, I want to do a shoutout to the review of the week. This one is from Hahajack, and they said: “This is the best short therapy lesson. This podcast is amazing! I love that episodes are short and succinct. You can’t say that you don’t have time when episodes are as short as 10 to 30 minutes. If you are struggling with OCD or anxiety, this is a great podcast to listen to for extra therapeutic support in addition to therapy. I treat OCD and I learn so much every time I listen to Kimberley’s podcast.” Thank you Hahajack for that amazing review. We are still doing the drive for reviews. So if you can go over to Apple podcast, leave us a review or wherever you listen. Once we hit a thousand reviews, we’re giving a free pair of Beats headphones. I cannot tell you how much I love, love, love, love your reviews. Thank you. It helps me help more people reach more people. And that’s what I’m here to do. All right, so let’s get to the meat of this episode, right? I, in the past – I think it’s Episode 86 – did a whole episode called the Science of Exposure and Response Prevention. You can go back and listen to that episode once this is done. We talked about the science behind ERP, and I’m going to be using a lot of that reference to talk about why. Why do we stare fear in the face? Instinctually, when we have fear – I’m just going to give you a quick education here – when we experience fear and our brain sets the signal off to say, “There might be danger, there might be trouble, please b

Fri, September 17, 2021

Ep. 202 The Importance of Slowing Down (with Drew Linsalata)

This week we interview Drew Linsalata, an amazing friend who has written an amazing book called, “Seven Percent Slower”  Click the link below to hear more about his book! https://theanxioustruth.com/seven-percent-slower/ Kimberley: Welcome, everybody. This episode is for you, the listener, but it’s actually for me, the podcaster, more than anything. Today, we have the amazing Drew Linsalata. I’ve talked about Drew before. We’ve done giveaways. We’ve done a bunch of stuff together on social media. I am a massive Drew fan. So, thank you, Drew, for being here today. Drew: Oh, you’re so sweet. Thank you, Kim. It’s my pleasure to be here. Kimberley: Okay. So, you, you are amazing, and I would love if you would share in a minute to people a little bit about your lived experience with anxiety. Drew is just the coolest human being on the planet. So, I’m so excited to share with everybody you, because I think everybody needs Drew in their life. Drew: Wow. Kimberley: But in addition to that, we are today going to talk about something. I’m actually going to try and drop down into my own vulnerability, and not just be the host, but also be the listener today because you are talking about one particular topic that I need to work on. So, first of all, tell me a little bit about your background, your story, and we’ll go from there. Drew: Sure. So, unfortunately, I lived in experience with panic disorder, agoraphobia, and intrusive thoughts and things of that nature, clinical depression, on and off, from the time I was 19 years old – 1986 all the way to around 2008, in varying degrees. So, it was a very long time. I was in and out of those problems. They came, they went. I did all the wrong things for a lot of time, trying to fix those problems, even though I knew what the right things were, because I’ve always been a bit of a behaviorism and cognition geek. And it took me a long time to come around to actually solving those problems. I did the medication thing that didn’t work out for me. And then I really just took the time to learn what I needed to do behaviorally, cognitively, using those evidence-based things that I know you talk about all the time. And I just used them on myself and I learned as much as I could from very smart people like you. And I went and did the work and managed to get myself through the recovery from panic disorder and agoraphobia and depression and all of those things. And along the way, the things that I learned, I just started sharing with other people, which is nothing that I invented. I never claimed that I invented any of this stuff. I just became a really good messenger, I guess, in terms of explaining. Well, I learned this and then I used it this way. And that led to just helping people online back in 2008, 2009 as I was going through it. And that led to continuing

Fri, September 10, 2021

Ep 201 An ERP Success Story (with Allyson Ford)

In this week’s podcast, we talk with Allyson Ford about her journey with OCD and an Eating Disorder.  Allyson shares how her journey with OCD began when she watched ERP SCHOOL , our online course for people with OCD.  Allyson quickly realized that she had not only been working through an Eating Disorder but had also struggled with OCD. Allyson Ford shares these 3 main points on OCD Recovery: In recovery, don’t wait for the fear to be gone. You must take the action while scared/anxious for real growth to happen. It will feel counterintuitive but that doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong. ERP is terrifying and it’s worth it in the end. It’s so empowering to realize you can have anxiety and do the things you love anyways. Because it is so scary, you need a therapist that you can really trust- who is both skilled in ERP and compassionate/warm. Shame and myths about OCD keep us suffering for much longer than we need to. Two major turning points for me were learning about what real OCD is- I quickly identified signs and symptoms within myself since 8 years old. The next game-changer was finding a community of other therapists who live with OCD. I felt so embarrassed to be a therapist struggling with these issues- I felt broken and ashamed. It made work really anxiety-provoking. I attended Pure  O Chrissie’s Gamechangers retreat and that changed everything for me. I suddenly felt empowered and hopeful; this propelled my ERP treatment forward. Learning and applying skills for intrusive thoughts was also a game-changer. Learning that everyone gets intrusive thoughts and that they don’t mean anything, learning mindfulness skills (bookshelf metaphor) for rumination and one-upping my thoughts/power stance were the most helpful. Knowing that the theme of my thoughts only points to what I value most was also helpful- it always boils back down to my work. I care so deeply about making a meaningful impact on my clients, and that seems to be what my OCD attacks the most! Allyson Ford, MA, LPCC is an Eating Disorder, OCD, and anxiety therapist with lived experience. Allyson graduated with her Master’s degree from New Mexico State University and has since worked in a variety of settings including hospitals, schools, residential programs, and now private practice. Allyson provides virtual services throughout California and also does part-time work at The Eating Disorder Center with Jennifer Rollin. Allyson has a passion for integrating social justice throughout her practice and has a podcast available on Apple and Spotify called Body Justice. Allyson utilizes ERP, DBT, CBT, ACT, and IFS in her practice. You can find her on Instagram at @bodyjustice.therapist and her website: <a href= "https://www.allysonfordcounselingservices.com/" ta

Fri, September 03, 2021

Ep. 200 Who's struggling? Let's Talk About It

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 200. Oh my stars, you guys, Episode 200. So exciting. Welcome back to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I am so thrilled to have you here for Episode 200. Oh my stars, you guys, this is a huge deal for me. In fact, let me set you up for today’s episode. So, in Episode 100. We actually invited all the guests that we had previously had on the podcast and we had a celebration. If you want some fun, you should go over there and listen. It is such a wonderful episode. I was thinking about what I wanted to do for Episode 200, and I’m not going to lie, nothing landed. Nothing. I just couldn’t bring myself to throw a huge party for it. And I think that’s what I wanted to talk with you guys about today in this episode, which is, who’s suffering? Who’s struggling? Who is having a hard time? Because I know I am, and I’m guessing you are in some way or another. I wanted to use this episode as just a time where we can talk about suffering and we can talk about what that looks like and what that means and what we can do when we’re struggling. And so, let’s talk about that today. Before we do that, let’s first do two new segments. In fact, one is new and one is a return of an old segment we used to do. And the first one is where I would like to read you a review of the week for the podcast. This week’s review is from Katie. Thank you so much for your review, and for all of you for writing a review. You guys do know that I’m giving away a pair of free Beats headphones once we hit a thousand reviews. We have a long way to go, but I am committed to getting there. And so, in the meantime, let’s celebrate each of you as we go. Today’s review is from Katie and she wrote: “This podcast is a great resource that has helped me before I was brave enough to seek treatment. It’s nice to know that I am not alone. The tools and conversation are authentic, helpful, and hopeful. Grateful for Kimberley’s generosity in sharing.” Thank you, Katie, for leaving a review, and thank you to all of you for leaving a review on the podcast. It helps me to get reach ultimately, and that helps me to help more people with this free resource. Alright, so the second part of the podcast is a return to the “I did a hard thing” segment. Now, we have actually upgraded this segment. And what we’re going to do from now on is I have a form on my private practice website, where we launched the podcast. It’s called KimberleyQuinlan-lmft.com. If you go over there and you click on Podcast, right there is a way to submit your hard thing. And so, we used to do it on social media and we used to do it via email and it was very, very messy. And so now, you get to submit your “I did a hard thing.” We will take a look at them and we will do one per week. I am so excited. I really believe that the “I did a hard thing” segment is literally the basis of this podcast. When people tell me or they DM me or the

Fri, August 27, 2021

Ep. 199 Tending to Shame with Self-Compassion (with Christopher Germer)

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 199. Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I’m your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn’t get to decide how you live your life. And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because experiencing anxiety ain’t easy. If that sounds good to you, let’s go. Welcome back, everybody. Oh my goodness, I am so excited about this episode and so deeply honored. So, for those of you who know me, you know how completely-- oh my gosh, I get so excited about meeting my mentors – people who have taught me so much as a clinician, who have taught me so much as a human being. Today’s one of those days, you guys, I am so excited and so grateful to be able to have, like I said to you, my biggest mentors on the podcast. Today, we have on the podcast talking about shame, Dr. Christopher Germer. So, if you guys may remember, I did interview Kristin Neff before COVID about self-compassion, and Christopher Germer, who we have today, has co-founded the mindfulness self-compassion concepts and tools. They have workbooks, they have trainings, a website, and the work they’re doing is so important. I strongly encourage you to go over and check out the work that they’re doing, because it is life-changing. But today, what I’m so excited about is sharing with you a conversation I had with Christopher Germer about shame, and he really breaks down all of the things we need to know about shame. We talk about some things that I myself have still got a lot to learn. Some of the things he said today – I had to do everything in my power, not to be like, wait, stop, I need to be able to think about that for a second. I need you to say that again, because he just drops so many truth bombs, and he is so amazing. So, I’m going to stop going on about how excited I am because I have a total fangirl experience right now. I literally just got off the phone with Dr. Germer, and I’m going to share this with you. So, I hope you enjoy it. If you are somebody who has struggled with shame, you are going to love this episode and take a lot away because it is such an important part of all of our recovery and all of our well-being. So, enjoy the episode, everybody, and I will see you all next week.   ----- Kimberley: Welcome. I am so honored, and I have such deep respect for today’s interview guest. We have today Dr. Christopher Germer. Thank you so much for being here. Christopher: Thanks, Kimberley. Great to be here. Kimberley: So, I’ve actually been dreaming of having you on for some time. I really wanted to hear your thoughts about shame. I was at a presentation or a training you did in December, right before COVID started, and I loved what you had to say. So, this is

Fri, August 20, 2021

Ep. 198 The steps we are taking to instill positive body image for our daughter (and son)

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 198. Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I’m your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn’t get to decide how you live your life. And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because experiencing anxiety ain’t easy. If that sounds good to you, let’s go. Okay, friends, how are you doing really? How are you doing? It’s summertime, you guys. Oh my goodness. We’re here. How did this happen? Just to let you know, I will be taking a break as I have done for the last several years over the summer. So I will probably take a few weeks off in July so I can have some time with my kids to really rest and repair and play and be human. It’s such a weird year. And so as I’m recording this, it’s not summer yet, but it’s crazy to think that we’ve landed in summer already of 2021. Am I right? Holy smokes. Okay, before we get started, as I always say, please do go and leave a review. I will be giving away Beats headphones to one lucky winner when we get a thousand reviews. We’re on our way, guys. So please do go and leave a review. I would so be grateful. It just really helps me strengthen the podcast, and it’s one of my big goals for 2021, is just to really help people with this amazing platform. All right. So here we go. Today, I am talking about how I am protecting my daughter from an eating disorder. But what I’m really going to be talking about is how we, me and my husband, are protecting my daughter and my son from an eating disorder. The reason I preface that is because, number one, yes, while women are more likely to develop an eating disorder, there is an increase of prevalence of young men and young boys getting and experiencing an eating disorder. There are many different types of eating disorder. It doesn’t have to be anorexia. They can be binge eating. There’s also types of eating disorders, such as bigorexia, which is around developing muscle. There’s orthorexia. There’s so many kinds of, again, bulimia anorexia, of course, we’ve discussed. There’s so many types and it’s so important that we recognize that this is not just a problem for women and girls. So let’s talk about it. How myself and my husband are protecting my daughter and my son from an eating disorder. So there are two main things I want to discuss today. Number one is how we talk and number two, how we model. And so I’m going to give you much more detail into how we are doing that and how we’re choosing to do that and the struggles that we’re having. I, myself, had an eating disorder. So I’m really, really protective of this topic with my children. It’s something I really want to try and protect them from while I know that I can’t entirely protect them. I can do a lot of education to give them

Fri, August 13, 2021

Ep. 197 Mindfulness for Mental Rumination (with Jon Hershfield)

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 197. Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I’m your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn’t get to decide how you live your life. And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because experiencing anxiety ain’t easy. If that sounds good to you, let’s go. Welcome back, you guys. So grateful to have this precious time with you. Thank you so much for coming and spending your very, very precious time with me. As we do this together, it’s exciting, we’re almost at 200 episodes. You guys, I cannot believe it. I am pretty, pretty proud of that, I’m not going to lie. Today’s episode is with the amazing Jon Hershfield. He’s been on the show multiple times and I have been really reflecting and thinking about how important it is for us to practice response prevention and how that is so, so important for everybody who has any type of anxiety, whether that be an anxiety disorder like OCD, social anxiety, specific phobia, generalized anxiety. Even for myself, I’ve been reflecting on any time I’m responding to fear and responding to discomfort. It’s just a topic that I want to continue to address because I think from you guys, I just continue to see how much it’s a struggle for you. As I thought about continuing education on tools you can use, I thought, who else can I have none other, but Jon Hershfield to talk about using mindfulness to manage compulsions. Now we talk about compulsions like mental compulsions and rumination. We talk about reassurance-seeking, avoidance, any kind of physical compulsion. We also talk about how to practice mindfulness so that it doesn’t become a compulsion. And so I’m just so grateful to have John give us his very valuable time and to talk with you guys about these amazing concepts. I’m not going to spend too much more time doing the introduction. You guys know how amazing Jon Hershfield is. He has some amazing books. He has The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD , and he has  Everyday Mindfulness  that he co-authored with Shala Nicely, and  The Teen OCD Workbook , and Harm OCD book. He’s just written amazing books. So please do go out and support him. He does share all that information at the end of the show, and I can’t wait for you guys to listen. In the meantime, please do go and leave a review. It helps us to reach more people. I’m going to be quiet now and let you listen to Jon’s wisdom. Have a wonderful day. ----- Kimberley: All right, welcome. I am so happy to have the amazing Jon Hershfield with us again today. Jon: Thanks for having me. You make me sound like Spiderman of

Fri, August 06, 2021

Ep. 196 Sexual Orientation OCD, PTSD, and Grief with Elle Warren

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 196. Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I’m your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn’t get to decide how you live your life. And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because experiencing anxiety ain’t easy. If that sounds good to you, let’s go. Welcome back, you guys. We have had a break. We are back. I’m actually recording this before I was back, so I don’t even really know how I feel once this episode will be out, but nonetheless, I have been holding off and wanting to do this episode as the welcome back episode for the new season of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we have with us, my Assistant, my Executive Assistant, one of the most important people behind the scenes at CBT School and in my private practice. She is my intake coordinator. She is the doer of all things. She was originally hired as my Chief Copywriter. She does a lot of work behind the scenes for me. Her name is Elle Warren. Her and I have been working together for some time now. It has been such a pleasure to get to know her. She today is going to share with you, just so you know, who it is behind the scenes if you’re ever in contact with us or you’re reading out Instagram posts or a newsletter or emails. She’s doing a lot of this stuff for me and we’re working together very closely. I wanted you to feel like you knew her, just like you know me. She also comes with a beautiful recovery story where she shares her experience with mental health and OCD and health anxiety, and grief, and post-traumatic stress disorder and experiencing, and really coming to find a place of peace with her sexual orientation. It is a beautiful, beautiful episode. I’m so, so excited to share it with you. Again, I want you to feel like you know us. I want you to feel like you trust us and you know who’s behind the scenes, and that’s why this was so important to me. So, I hope you do enjoy the show. Elle really does share her story so vulnerably. If you do notice some background noises, Elle was in a really rural location, a lot of background noise. So, bear with us there. We were doing the best we can. I wanted to make sure we had this episode recorded before we left, so please bear with me. The content is still fabulous. I hope that isn’t too difficult on your listening. In addition, welcome back. So thrilled to be back. I’ve been trying to do episodes through the school year and then take some time off for the summer. This season, we have some big plans, some amazing guests. I am really dialed in with specifically what I want to address this season. So, get excited about that. I hope you’re well. I hope you’re bein

Fri, June 25, 2021

Depression as a compulsion (with Shala Nicely)

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 195. Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I’m your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn’t get to decide how you live your life. And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because experiencing anxiety ain’t easy. If that sounds good to you, let’s go. Kimberley: Hello there. I have with me a very special friend who is going to talk about something so important. So, so important. I am so excited to have with us Shala Nicely. Oh my goodness, thank you for coming back onto the show. Shala: Thank you so much for having me. I love being here. Kimberley: Oh my goodness. Okay. So, probably the reason that I have been so adamant about getting you onto this episode is this topic that we are going to talk about is probably one of the topics that comes up the most with my patients and clients that nobody is talking about. Shala: Yes. Kimberley: Nobody. And I am seeing it more and more and more and more and more, which is why I wanted to have you on. So, thank you. Shala: Yeah. Kimberley: Thank you. Okay. So, you wrote a blog about depression as a compulsion. Can you tell us what does that mean? Shala: Yes. I’ll start off by saying that this is one of the many subtleties of OCD. Sometimes OCD takes a long time to figure out. I spent years becoming a therapist. I spent years thinking about my own experience and when I was writing my memoir Is Fred in the Refrigerator?. It wasn’t until after Fred was published, that I figured out this particular compulsion that I had been doing. By identifying it, it’s been able to help me make a huge difference in my recovery, and that’s why I wanted to share it and write the blog. Kimberley: Right. It’s so important. I mean, I can’t tell you, I’ve been practicing for many, many years and I only came across this in the last year or two. But the more I get to know it and the more I understand it, I’m just like, I feel like I see it in almost all the cases in some way. So, go ahead. Tell us what it is. Tell us what it looks like. Shala: So, I’ll give you an example that I used in Fred, which is, when I was in my twenties, I was convinced I’d given myself HIV aids because I had gotten cut with a broken beer bottle at a party and I had spent all this time in my head arguing with OCD about whether or not that you can transmit HIV aids through that. It went on for months and months and months. While I was doing all this ritualizing in my head, trying to figure this out and prove to myself I didn’t have this disease, which this was years and years and years ago, the treatments for HIV aids are much better now, they weren’t. This was 25 years ago. I know people with OCD are still frightened of it. I w

Fri, June 18, 2021

Ep. 194 Compassionate Permission Slips (With Hayden Dawes)

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 194. In today’s episode, I had the most amazing conversation with Hayden Dawes. Now, Hayden Dawes is a therapist, a PhD student. He is what he calls an “aspiring compassion warrior” – we talk about in the interview what that means. Hayden is just doing some really cool work. As I share, and we go into detail in this episode, he’s really brought out some stuff for me as I’ve watched him and learned from him. It’s been incredible to see this journey that it’s put me on. So, I cannot wait to share this episode with you. We’re talking about radical permission, writing compassion slips for ourselves. We’re talking about being petty. It’ll make sense when we get there. It’s just such a beautiful conversation. So I’m so happy to share this with you. If you haven’t already, please do go and leave a review. The reviews help us reach more people and gain the trust of more people. So, go ahead and leave a review wherever you listen, and let’s get onto the show. Twitter and IG : @hcdawes Website: hcdawes.com FB Group https://www.facebook.com NEWSLETTER: https://www.hcdawes.com/newsletter ----- Kimberley: Okay, welcome. I’m actually so excited to have this conversation. This was a really, really great one to me because I have with me Hayden Dawes. He is an aspiring compassion warrior – which I can’t wait to hear more about what that means – a PhD student. He is a social worker and has been practicing for many years. So, thank you so much for coming on, Hayden. Hayden: I am so excited to be here, no one else can see us, but to see your smile, just to see a little of me. That just makes me even feel more welcome and more excited to be here. So, thank you. Kimberley: Yeah. I’m really excited. So, let me fan go on you for a second. For those who don’t know, and you’ll hear all of Hayden’s work, Hayden has these really cool Instagram profile. I love the work you’re doing with compassion, but we’re also going to share a couple of other things that I love about your work. We’ll talk about that here very soon, but tell me about the work you’re doing around like an aspiring compassion warrior. Tell me what that means and how you are putting that out into the world. Hayden: Yeah. So, one of the things, I was raised in the Catholic church and Roman Catholic, and I’ve looked for different faith traditions, things that felt close to me and really fit my experience. So, stumbling upon Buddhism and more contemplative practices like Quakerism and Buddhism, and finding the idea of a Bodhisattva, someone that is willing to just do the tough work of delving deeply into what it means to be human, the suffering piece to it, and learning from that e

Fri, June 11, 2021

Ep. 193 A quick metaphor for mental compulsions

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 193. Hello, my loves, how are you? So, recently, I’ve been having lots of conversations with my patients and my clients around one really helpful metaphor around managing mental compulsions. Now, before we go into this, let me just do a quick overview. We have obsessions, which show up in the form of intrusive thoughts, intrusive feelings, like anxiety and uncertainty and doubt and guilt and disgust. There’s intrusive thoughts, there’s intrusive feelings, there’s intrusive sensations, which is whatever physical sensations you experience that are intrusive and repetitive, and then intrusive urges. Urges like this urge – you feel like you’re going out of control and you’re about to hurt someone or you’re about to harm someone or do something that is ineffective or not helpful in your life. We have these intrusive thoughts, feelings, sensations, and urges, and sometimes images as well. It might be a quick flash image of something scary. In effort to either solve that or remove that or lessen the discomfort of that, we engage in a compulsion. Now, the compulsion could be physical, like washing your hands or moving an object or so forth, checking something, or it can be mental. I’m really specifically, in this episode, talking about mental compulsions – the mental compulsion of trying to solve and ruminate on an obsession. A lot of you have said that mental compulsions are one of the most difficult to reduce or prevent or stop, and I think that’s very, very, very common. When I’m talking with my patients about this, usually, they report that once they have the obsession, because we know that – let’s sort of just preface – trying to prevent the thought or suppress the thought won’t work. You’re going to have these thoughts. Thoughts suppression usually makes you have the thought even more. We’re not talking about thoughts suppression here, but what we are talking about is, once you identify that you’ve had the thought, how much attention do you give it and how much leash do you give it? This is the metaphor I want you to think of. When you’ve had this intrusive thought, think of the thought like a really baby puppy, like a really active bouncy baby puppy, and you’ve got the baby puppy on a leash. You’re taking the puppy for a walk. Now often I’ll ask my patients, “When you take your puppy for a walk, particularly if you live in a suburban or city area, which I do, do you give the puppy a long leash or do you give it a short leash? As you’re walking down the sidewalk, are you letting the puppy walk down the middle of the road with a long leash, and then it jumps over the sidewalk into the garden, it pees on the garden and then wraps its leash around your legs, and then it takes you off into some at the park that you don’t want to go into? Does it walk down a street that you don’t want to walk down? Or do you keep the leash shorter? And what you’re doing the

Fri, June 04, 2021

Ep. 192: Scheduling for Anxiety Management

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 192. Welcome back, everybody. I am really excited to do this episode with you. It’s a little bit different to episodes I’ve done in the past, which might be why I’m really excited about it, but it is a skill I have been practicing for several months. No, maybe more than that. I would actually say closer to six months to a year, and I was reflecting on, what are the things that... I took a lot about mindfulness skills and a lot about therapy skills and cognitive behavioral therapy skills, but is there something I haven’t really talked about in terms of just lifestyle? And I thought this, of all the topics, is probably one of the things that helps me manage my anxiety and depression the most, literally the most. In fact, I would go as far as to say it has been probably one of the most important things that has helped me recover in my recovery, and I’m really excited to share it with you. Today, we’re talking about how activity scheduling and managing your schedule can be a really important anxiety management tool. Before you completely sign off and say, “Oh my gosh, this is not for me,” please just hear me out because there is so much greatness to being really intentional about your schedule and scheduling. A couple of reasons I say that is because, number one, if you are somebody who has a job or goes to school or has a mental illness, and that’s really, really debilitating and taking up a lot of your time, or you have children or all of the above, it’s really easy for the day to just come and go. And before you know it, you haven’t gotten done what you wanted to get done. You’re feeling more and more anxious about tomorrow. You’re feeling more and more depressed about yourself and what you’ve got to do. You’re feeling bombed out because you didn’t get to prioritize your time. And that was exactly me. Every time I opened my eyes in the morning, I had this sensation of dread because I just was like, “Oh my gosh, today’s going to be another huge day. I’m going to run all day. I’m in a rush all day,” or “I’m going to feel anxiety all day.” Let me tell you a couple of skills that I teach all of my clients because, as I’ve said before, this is something that they talked to me about, at least once in their treatment, is how to manage their time. Okay. I have learned and I have practiced this, like I said, for almost a year now – the art of scheduling in a way that is in the intention of benefiting my mental health. I don’t schedule because I want to be super time efficient. I don’t schedule because I want to get a ton done. I schedule for my mental health, literally. Forgive me, if you can hear beeping car alarm, it’s been going all day. So I’m sorry if you hear that in the background. I literally schedule for my mental health. And what I have learned, I took a whole course on this, is one of the biggest mistakes we make with scheduling is we schedule what we hav

Fri, May 28, 2021

Ep. 191: Managing a Chronic Illness

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 191. Well, welcome friends. How are you? How are you doing really? I want you to reflect for a second on just that... on just that question. How are you? I have not prepared for this episode. I just thought I would sit down and take some time to reflect some of, I’m sure, what I reflect on will be the first time I’ve reflected on it and not just that for reflecting with you. So what I wanted to talk with you guys about is life with a chronic illness or a disability. This is something that has shaken me a lot over the last, I would say two to three months. A lot of you have the background story with me, but if you’re new here, welcome, and I’ll tell you a quick background. In 2019, I got very sick. Through that process, I also got very... not just medically, but mentally struggled because of the symptoms that were incredibly debilitating. After pretty much every single medical test under the sun, I was diagnosed with a lesion in my brain, that they still don’t know what it is, and a disorder called postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. It sounds scary and it can be scary, but mostly, it’s a disorder to do with your autonomic nervous system and it basically involves lightheadedness and fainting and headaches and overall exhaustion and nausea and very, very big degree of brain fog. It can be mild and it can be very severe and extreme to the point where you can’t stand up. For months and months and months, particularly throughout COVID, I have been doing my very best to manage this disorder and this syndrome and have been doing really, really well. I’m not going to lie, I thought I’d mastered this disorder. I really did. I think there was a cocky piece of me that was like, “Oh yeah, look at me.” Once again, hard work pays off. And yes, it does. Hard work does pay off. But recently, I have been hit with another... I call it an event, another wave of POTS – POTS is the acronym for postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome – and it has knocked me off my feet literally. Not figuratively. I think both. For those of you who don’t know, I was, two weeks ago, taking a tennis lesson, a part of my attempts to take care of myself as I have cut back immensely with work. I’ve mentioned my kids are gone back to school and my husband’s gone back to work. And so I really decided, I made a conscious decision to put my mental health first. I had started taking tennis lessons, and in the middle of my tennis lesson, it was very hot. I collapsed and had to go to the hospital. I’m sorry if this is scary for some of you. It had to be monitored and got IV bags and medications and all the things. Again, once again, I really thought this was a short-term thing. What I am reflecting on today is the realization that I’m not going to manage this. I’m not going to master it. This is something I will probably have to handle for the rest of my life. I was ex

Fri, May 21, 2021

Ep. 190: Ask Better Questions

This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 190. Welcome back, everybody. Hello, Happy Friday, for those of you who are listening on the release day, and happy day to you who are not. Okay. Well, how are you? How is everybody doing? I am sitting in my bedroom. We’ve actually had to completely rearrange because our life is changing so much here at the Quinland house. Kids are at school and people are in and out of the house, and it’s very, very different. So I’m coming to you from my room, and life just continues to change. Have you guys noticed that? It does continue to change. I cannot keep up with it. We embrace. We adapt. We are flexible. We keep trying. We are gentle with ourselves, and that’s the best we can do. Today, I wanted to talk with you guys about questions. I have been sort of... What I would say is ‘reflecting,’ but I would actually say, a better word is ‘studying’ the art of asking better questions, and this has been life-changing to me. It has been a practice that I have adopted as per advice of a colleague and a friend in terms of catching the story you tell yourself and asking better questions. Catching the poorly written questions that we now ask ourselves on habit, right? We just habitually ask ourselves not very skilled questions. Let me explain to you more about this. When something happens – and you can even do it here together – when something happens in your life, let’s say in the last week or so, something unexpected, unwanted, maybe not so ideal happens, I want you to check in and say, “What is the question I ask?” Some of you may say, it’s a really simple what-if thought question. Like, what if such and such happens? What if ABC happens? What if XYZ happens? Not a super-skilled question mainly because it’s so open-ended and it’s so in the pursuit of removal of that discomfort. We’ve talked a lot about being uncertain. We’ve talked a lot about willingly allowing discomfort. Other questions that I have observed my patients asking themselves or reflecting on lately are questions like: What is wrong with me? So they have an uncomfortable, unexpected, not-so-great experience, and their immediate question is: “What’s wrong with me?” And that question never ends. Well, rarely would you have the thought “what’s wrong with me,” and then you respond by going, “Nothing is wrong with me, I am a normal human being responding in the way that any other human being would respond.” We don’t answer those questions. The question sets us up for a failure, just like what-if. Another one is: “How can I make this go away?” Now, in some cases, this would actually be a really adaptive question. So, let’s say you have an ant invasion in your house. It makes sense. Because we’re highly functioning human beings and we have adapted over time, it makes sense that our question would be: “How can I make this go away?” That in and of itself could be a good question, a solid, skilled

Fri, May 14, 2021

Episode 189: Understanding Shame (with Mike Heady)

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I’m your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn’t get to decide how you live your life. And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because experiencing anxiety ain’t easy. If that sounds good to you, let’s go. Hello friends, you are going to love this episode. Holy smokes, I just recorded it, so you’ve got me fresh, and I’m so excited. I just had such an amazing conversation with Mike Heady. He is an LCPC and he treats OCD and anxiety disorders. We talked about shame and shame and shame and shame, and he brought so much wisdom. You guys are going to love this episode. It is packed full of all the good stuff. So, I’m not going to waste your time. I just want you to get straight there and listen to it. Before we get started, if you haven’t left a review, please do so. I love getting reviews from you. When we get good reviews, it doesn’t just stroke my ego. That’s not the point. It is because the more reviews we get, the more people will come and listen to the podcast, which means then I get to help people with these incredible tools, these science-based tools. Hopefully, even just from today, if you’re first time listening, welcome. We are talking about shame, and you are going to get so much from this. So if you are listening, please do leave a review. I would be so grateful. And enjoy the show. ----- Kimberley: Welcome. I am so excited to have with us today, Mike Heady. He is an LCPC. That’s correct. Right? Michael: That is, yes. Kimberley: Yes. We’re going to have a conversation that actually might be my favorite topic in the whole of the podcast. We’re talking about shame. So, welcome. Michael: Thanks for having me. I share your passion for the conversation. Kimberley: Yes. Not that I love shame, but I like talking about shame. Michael: Yes. I agree. It’s hard to say you love shame. It’s like saying I love fear. Kimberley: Exactly. So, why are you interested in this topic? Michael: It’s been a professional evolution for me, originally being trained to treat anxiety disorders and OCD. We talk a lot about fear and uncertainty and we have a ceremonial way of responding to shame. We’re like, “Oh yeah, and there’s a shame too.” In the last couple of years, I’ve really done a deep dive into like, “Well, what is this?” Because a lot of clients are having a hard time getting better. I don’t think it’s the fear that’s hard for them to get past sometimes. I don’t think it’s the uncertainty. I think it’s the shame. I think it’s a different animal. When I started doing a lot of digging, I realized there’s a whole world of shame out there in the literature, and how it applies to OCD fascinated me. So, that’s my new passion proj

Fri, May 07, 2021

Ep. 188: How to Tolerate Uncomfortable Sensations

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I’m your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn’t get to decide how you live your life. And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because experiencing anxiety ain’t easy. If that sounds good to you, let’s go. Welcome back, everybody. Thank you so much for joining me. I know your time is very valuable and precious, so thank you for spending your time with me. Oh goodness, I have so much to reflect on with you today. I’ve had a few aha moments, which I wanted to share with you because I wondered if I’m having these aha moments, maybe you are too. Let’s just actually get straight to it. Shall we? Because it’s funny for me to say this to you. I’m sort of embarrassed to say this, but I also think it’s very hilarious. I consider myself to be a very mindful person. I really do. When I’m struggling, I always practice what I preach. I observe that I’m struggling. I bring my attention back to the present. I engage back into the present and I usually feel better. This has been a profound practice for me in my life. I teach it to you guys because of how much of a huge difference it has made to me. What has been really interesting is, I have taken some time off. I’m slowing down with work. My children have gone back to school. To adjust, we’ve had some massive, massive adjustments in our family. My husband took a year off work to be with the kids, so he could be their teacher. I, when COVID hit, went deep into just so much work and was really working to support the family in a way that I hadn’t had to do before. I’m so grateful and I really recognize how privileged we were to have this environment and this experience because I was writing a book and I had my clients and there’s just no way he could have gone to work. So, he’s gone back to work. My children have gone back to school. I’m still finishing up the final stages of the book. So, it’s been such a huge difference for me. Because of this, I actually have been working with a coach, which usually I go to therapy every week. My therapist and I agreed that I would take some time off because I really felt like I was doing everything that she had given me. I was really feeling like my mindfulness skills are really helping me. What was so interesting was that my coach – and this is not a coach for anxiety, this is more of a life coach – brought to my attention – and this is where it’s really funny – that even though my mindfulness skills are really effective and so healing and wonderful, he felt – and I thought it was shocking to start with, but I think he’s right– that I’m using it to avoid feeling my feelings and avoid feeling the sensations of anxiety. Now, when he told me this, I’m not going to lie, I w

Fri, April 30, 2021

Ep. 187: Health Anxiety with Christian Newman

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today we have on Christian Newman, the Health Anxiety Coach, to continue our discussion on health anxiety .  Christian was on the podcast a while back and because we get so many questions about health anxiety, we decided it would be great to have him on again to answer some of your questions.  On this episode, Christian answers “How do I know if my symptoms are anxiety or something else?”, “Is there anything other than CBT and ERP that I can use to treat health anxiety?”, “How do I stop googling my symptoms?”, “How do I stop focusing on sensations?”, and “How do I learn to accept a doctor’s diagnosis?” Christian also shares a bit about his 30 day detox program to help you recover from health anxiety. Follow Christian on Instagram @healthanxiety.coach If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click  here  for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click  here  for more information.

Fri, April 23, 2021

Your Anxiety Toolkit - Ep186

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast.  Today, we are going to talk about BFRB’s. Now, a BFRB is body-focused repetitive behavior. Many of you know, I am an Anxiety Specialist; I specialize in OCD and OCD-related disorders. Those related disorders can involve body-focused repetitive behaviors including hair pulling, skin picking, and nail-biting. Today, I want to give you eight tips to help you manage your BFRB. This is also really helpful if you have any behavior in your life that you want to adjust and change. It is also helpful if you are a family member or a loved one of someone with a BFRB. The eight tips we are going to discuss today are: Identify specifically where you’re engaging in your body-focused repetitive behavior. Identify when you engage in your BFRB. Identify what emotions trigger your BFRB. Identify what thoughts you are having. Find alternative behaviors. Block the behavior specifically related to the body part. Find support. Practice self-compassion daily. Above all else, I want you all to remember that you are not your BFRB. You are way more than this thing that you struggle with. You have so many other beautiful characteristics and strengths and abilities. If you can introduce a self-compassion practice, you will find immense benefit from just gently nurturing the suffering that you are feeling. This is so important for everybody, but particularly for those who are really hard on themselves. If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click  here  for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click  here  for more information.

Fri, April 16, 2021

Ep. 185: Allow Yourself to Sit Skill

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today I want to talk to you about a question that recently was asked by one of my awesome Instagram followers.  This person asked me "Kimberley, how do I relax and be self-compassionate when I suddenly find myself with extra time on my hands?" This is such a fantastic question and a really timely one as well.  So today we are going to discuss the skill of sitting still.  Ask yourselves "When was the last time you allowed yourself to sit still?" and "When was the last time you allowed the discomfort you may be feeling to just be there?" Maybe you are thinking to yourselves that you have done nothing but sit still since COVID began, but even if this is true when was the last time you sat still and created space for your emotions to rise and fall? When was the last time you allowed yourself to experience your emotions and feelings without judgment?  This is key.  You may have been sitting still, but you may have been judging yourself at the same time. True restoration begins when you allow those emotions and feelings to be there without judgment . Are you resisting, pushing away, avoiding, or judging?  Or are you willingly allowing yourself to feel all of the feelings?  Often when we are stressed, we try to busy ourselves.  This is usually an attempt to not feel the discomfort.  Ask yourself, are my actions effective in the long term?  Resisting, avoiding, and distraction may feel helpful in the short term, but is it really effective for the long term?  I invite you to slow down and gently and compassionately make space for the present moment. You may not feel an overwhelming sense of calm and that is OK. Your self-compassion is not done to remove your discomfort, it is done to soothe the discomfort.  I am asking you to try slowing down. To schedule time to just be still. Allow the discomfort and the quiet. Make space for all of your feelings and emotions as they rise and fall. I hope this was helpful and I hope that you remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved wh

Fri, April 09, 2021

Ep. 184: What is Panic Disorder? with Joshua Fletcher

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today we have on the amazing Joshua Fletcher who some of you may know from Instagram as Anxiety Josh.  Joshua is a psychotherapist in the UK as well as someone with lots of lived experience with anxiety disorders.  He is here today to talk to us specifically about panic attack s and panic disorder. Joshua shares his lived experience with panic, derealization/depersonalization, agoraphobia, and anxiety.  He tells about his first panic attack and how that led to multiple panic attacks per day. This led him to planning his days around how to avoid having another panic attack.  He shares the importance of psychoeducation for people who are experiencing any kind of anxiety disorder including panic.  This is not for reassurance purposes, rather it is important to demystify the experience of anxiety.  Once you learn what is happening, the anxiety loses some of it's grip.  We know that anxiety thrives in the uncertainty and the unknown so becoming educated on what is happening in your brain and body is really so crucial for recovery. Joshua discusses hypervigilance and how this really is at the heart of anxiety disorders.  He gives some tips and tools to help if you have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder including panic disorder.  We end the discussion by talking a bit about self-compassion and how important it is to recovery.  I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did.  Joshua has so much wisdom to share and I think you will find his words not only helpful if you are struggling with an anxiety disorder, but also really inspirational as well.   Instagram @AnxietyJosh Click here to find links to Joshua's books, podcast, and more!   If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click <a href= "https://www.cbtschool.com/erpce

Fri, April 02, 2021

Ep. 183: 5 Mindfulness Tips for Anxiety & Depression

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today I want to share with you the 5 mindfulness tips that I use with my clients to help manage symptoms of anxiety and depression. The first tip is to observe. Instead of taking thoughts as fact, try simply observing your thoughts. An example may be "I am having the thought that bad things may happen." The second tip is to be curious. If you are able to be curious, you can actually change the narrative. Instead of being rigid, try being open to other possibilities. The third tip is to leave judgment behind. We often make the statement that our thoughts and feelings are wrong. Instead leave out the judgment and try "I am noticing this feeling is making me uncomfortable." This brings you back to a place of objectivity.  The fourth tip is to be present. Bring your attention back to the present moment. Try to not focus on the past or the future.  The fifth and final tip is to catch the stories you tell yourself. Be very careful when you say things such as "I can't handle this." Try to reframe that statement with "I can tolerate the discomfort." or "I can do hard things."  I hope these tips have been helpful to you.  I know that I find them incredibly helpful and use them often myself and with my own children. If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.  

Fri, March 26, 2021

Ep. 182: What is ERP?

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we are discussing Exposure and Response Prevention or ERP.  So what exactly is ERP?  Well, many years ago a psychologist created exposure therapy, which is where we expose people to their fears. If you were afraid of dogs, we would expose you to pictures of dogs and then videos of dogs and then we would probably ask you to go pet a dog, that is exposure therapy. This was found to be highly successful; however, over the course of time, more research suggested that doing exposures alone is good, but it doesn't completely address the whole picture of OCD because OCD does not just involve obsessions, it also involves compulsions. Exposure therapy did not really address compulsions. So a different method was added on and that is the response prevention. You expose yourself to your fear and then you would do response prevention, which would mean you would not engage in the compulsion to remove the discomfort, uncertainty, or  anxiety that you are feeling. ERP  is a treatment that addresses both the obsession by exposing and the compulsion by doing response prevention. Now, this is groundbreaking and the research has shown that the outcomes are really good, which is wonderful because for many years, we did not have a great treatment for OCD. Since then we have actually added on other modalities to make it even better. We have inhibitory learning, acceptance and commitment therapy, compassion focused therapy, and mindfulness-based cognitive behavioral therapy. All of these additional modalities really help to increase motivation and help to manage your discomfort as it rises and falls. A lot of people will ask if ERP can work if you do not engage in physical compulsions because as we know many people with OCD will engage in hidden compulsions that no one can see.  Those are typically avoidance and mental compulsions.  From the outside you may never know that they are struggling with mental compulsions all day because they are ruminating and playing out potential scenarios in their minds.  It is so important to identify the mental or avoidant compulsions you are doing and that would be a part of your ERP as well. So that's ERP in a nutshell. Is it easy? Oh no, it's not easy. Is it hard? Oh yes, it is hard. But what am I about to say, say it with me everybody, it is a beautiful day to do hard things. Can you do hard things? Absolutely. If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are goi

Fri, March 19, 2021

Ep. 181: Magical Thinking with Dr. Jonathan Grayson

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today we are so lucky to have Dr. Jonathan Grayson on with us again. Dr. Grayson is a psychologist who has been specializing in the treatment of OCD for more than 40 years. He is also the author of Freedom from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and founder of The Grayson LA Treatment Center for Anxiety and OCD.  He is here today to talk to us about magical thinking. I am actually getting asked a lot recently about magical thinking.  People have a lot of questions about what it is and how it relates to OCD and anxiety. Dr. Grayson starts off by giving us his definition of magical thinking.  He explains that magical thinking is really on a continuum. On one end you may have a person without OCD who engages in minor superstitions and on the far end you may have a person with OCD who has magical thinking that is actually interfering in their daily life.  He says that most of the time with OCD, the magical thinking does not seem to have an obvious connection between the fear and the ritual. Dr. Grayson spends a good amount of time discussing magical thinking in the context of spiritual and religious beliefs as well as how magical thinking relates to scrupulosity.  He also shares his thoughts on scapegoating as a form of magical thinking. He shares with us a bit about how someone can get better and overcome magical thinking.  He says that this is really just about taking the risk of uncertainty similar to all OCD treatment. He says you should ask yourself "Is this magical thinking actually working?  Is it bringing you any peace?"  This episode is full of such wisdom.  I learned a lot myself and I hope you all will find it helpful. Dr. Grayson's book, Freedom from OCD , is now out as an audiobook!  Click here for more information. The Grayson LA Treatment Center for Anxiety & OCD If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Beginning today March 19th and continuing until April 1st, ERP School will b

Fri, March 12, 2021

Ep. 180: What is the Difference Between an Intrusive Thought and a Mental Compulsion?

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. We have a lot to tackle in this episode!  We are going to be talking about a really important topic which has a lot of confusion surrounding it.  Today we are going to explore the difference between an intrusive thought and a mental compulsion. OCD starts with an obsession. This is an intrusive, repetitive, unwanted thought, feeling, sensation or urge that you cannot control this.  Once you've had that intrusive thought, feeling, sensation and urge, you usually feel anxious and uncomfortable because it is unwanted.  You then have this natural instinct to try and remove the discomfort and the uncertainty that you feel. This is what we call a compulsion. Usually we feel some form of relief from the compulsion, but this becomes a problem because it only reinforces to our brain that the thought was important. Your brain continues to send out the alarm that the thought must mean something. Now many of us are aware of the form that physical compulsions can take such as hand-washing, jumping over cracks, moving objects and so forth. Actually one of the most common compulsions is mental and that takes the form of rumination. The problem people run into is that rumination is sometimes hard to identify. That is why I am doing this episode because so many people have asked, how do I differentiate between the intrusive thought and a mental compulsion? And what do I do? We know we should not be blocking thoughts, so how do we stop mental compulsions. If I'm not supposed to suppress my thoughts, what am I supposed to do if I catch myself doing mental compulsions? Is stopping mental compulsions thought suppression?" I would say, technically, no. But it depends. Let's go straight to the solution. We want to acknowledge that we're having an intrusive thought, feeling, sensation or urge or an image. our job is to do nothing about it. We need to do our best not to solve that uncertainty or remove ourselves from that discomfort. That's our goal. And then our job is to reintegrate ourselves back into a behavior that we were doing, or we would be doing, had we not had this thought. So here is an example. Let's say I'm typing. I have an intrusive thought about whether I'm going to harm my child. So I have this, I'm going to acknowledge that it's there. I'm actually going to practice not trying to make that thought go away. But instead, bring that sensation or thought with me while I type on my computer. As I'm typing, I'm going to notice the sensations of my fingertips on the keyboard. I'm going to notice the smell of the office. I'm going to notice the temperature of the room I'm in. And I'm going to then catch if my mind directs away from this activity towards trying to solve. If I catch myself trying to solve it then I am going to bring my attention back to what I'm doing. I find that if I'm getting caught in some kind o

Fri, March 05, 2021

Ep.179: 8 Tips to Fast Track Your OCD Treatment

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today I want to focus a bit on OCD treatment.  I want to share with you all 8 tips that I think will really help to fast-track your OCD treatment .  The first tip is to get support. That may people from people in your life or it may be from social media, organizations in the OCD community, or online support groups. The second tip is to pace yourself.  Find a pace that works well for you, not too fast, not too slow.  The third tip is to give yourself time to feel all the feelings about your OCD treatment. You are likely going to ride a wave of emotions and that is OK.  The fourth tip is to stop judging yourself for your obsessions and compulsions.  Being critical of yourself on serves to get in the way of your recovery. So go easy on yourself. The fifth tip is to embrace uncertainty.  Learning to live with uncertainty is key to recovery in OCD treatment. The sixth tip is to stare your fear in the face everyday.  Remember when we turn away from our fear, OCD only becomes stronger.  The key is to do those hard things. The seventh tip is to find your motivation.  What is your motivation for wanting to get better?  The eight and final tip is understanding and accepting that you cannot control your thoughts.  The only thing you can control is your reaction to those thoughts.  I hope these tips will help as you progress through your OCD treatment. If I can leave you with just one thought that would be "It's a beautiful day to do hard things." If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Coming in March 19th ERP School will be available with bonus material! Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information. Coming March 15th, we are offering our free training, The 10 Things You Absolutely Need to Know About OCD.     Transcript of Ep. 179 This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 179. Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I’m your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn’t get to decide how you liv

Fri, February 26, 2021

Ep. 178: Ways to Break the Cycle of Perfectionism with Menije Boduryan

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have on an amazing guest and therapist, Menije Boduryan. Menije is an OCD specialist as well as a specialist on perfectionism. She is here today to talk to us about perfectionism and to give us some tips on how to manage perfectionism in our own lives. Menije defines perfectionism as a drive to do things perfectly with anything less than 100% being unacceptable.  It is a desire to want everything to be flawless and in that desire, comes a lot of expectations or rules that people set for themselves.  She explains that perfectionism becomes a mindset and you begin to operate in the world expecting yourself to be perfect, as well as your partner, your best friend, your clothes, your work desk, what you eat, and how you exercise to all be perfect. It becomes powerful because our self-identity becomes so attached to this idea of being perfect. It is not just about the desire to do things perfectly, but it also becomes a belief that once you do things perfectly, then you are enough, you are worthy. Menije shares with us a bit about her own struggles with perfectionism and how perfectionism impacts our relationships. She describes how it is really possible to fall into a cycle with perfectionism. If you fall short in something you are doing, which you inevitably will, you start into the cycle of feeling shame and that you are not good enough so you then strive to work harder the next time to achieve that level of perfection. Menije shares with us one of the best ways to break out of that cycle of perfectionism is really to just give ourselves a tremendous amount of self-compassion. Recognizing that whatever happens today, I am worthy and I am enough. She also describes that breaking out of the cycle involves being able to tolerate your imperfections. Really being able to sit with the discomfort and anxiety that will come when you have done something that is not perfect. She describes it as very similar to exposure therapy. This interview is full of so many amazing insights. I hope you will find it as helpful and as meaningful as I did. Menije's Instagram @dr.menije <!-- /wp:paragraph --

Fri, February 19, 2021

Ep. 177: Does This Behavior Bring Me Closer to My Long Term Goals?

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I want to talk about a concept that is really important to long-term recovery or just life in general, which is this question: Does this bring me closer to my long term goals?  Now, human beings are very reactionary. When there is an event, we quickly do a little data check in our brain. Is it safe? Can we proceed? Should we run away? Should we freeze? Should we just freak out? We have the whole process that happens in a millisecond, and then we respond.  Now the fight-flight-freeze system of the brain keeps us alive. It’s a reaction we have to danger. So if there is a lion, we know to either freeze, run away or fight it. For those with an anxiety disorder, we often go into the fight-flight-freeze when there isn’t any real danger. The more we react, the more we enforce our fears and the more that we get stuck in a cycle of reaction. One of the most helpful things in life for me has been to step back and look at the cycle, look at the trends and ask myself, does this behavior, does this reaction bring me closer to my long term goals?  If you can, just practice slowing down and pausing and saying to yourself “Wait a second. Is there a trend in my reaction?” I often say to my clients that my job is pretty simple. My job is to help you find the trends, find the patterns. If there is a pattern of reaction, that is where I intervene. I want you to be able to look at the patterns and the trends, and then decide for yourself what is good for you. We cannot live just in reaction because that is when we get stuck. So I want you to try asking yourself "Does this behavior bring me closer to my long term goals?" Remember to be gentle with yourselves and give yourselves a huge amount of self-compassion. If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Coming in March ERP School will be available with bonus material! Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information. Transcript Ep. 177 Welcome to Your A

Fri, February 12, 2021

Ep. 176: What Are the Lies We Tell Ourselves?

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we are going to have a hard conversation and it honestly is causing a little bit of anticipatory anxiety for me. I want to talk to you about the lies we tell ourselves. You might be thinking "I don't tell lies. What are you talking about? I am a good person." So I want you to hear me out for a little bit and I want to share an experience I had this week. I realized that I had been telling a lie to myself and to my family about my choice to continue working so hard. I really want to take the stigma, the judgment, and the shame out of lies and just admit that we do it. That’s my main hope for today. Let’s just acknowledge that we sometimes lie to ourselves. We lie to other people, and we do it, not because we’re horrible human beings, but because we’re trying to protect ourselves. It’s a safety behavior. We’re trying to protect the story we create, and I had created this whole story of why I had to work so hard. So I sat down and thought about the lies we tell ourselves and I want to share those with you today. The first lie is "I can't." We have to stop saying “I can’t.” We may want to start replacing it with “I won’t” or “I’m not choosing to”. That is actually a better way of saying the same thing without it being a lie.  The second lie is "I am less worthy than other people." We sometimes tell ourselves that we are less than, but that is a lie. We have to catch ourselves before we buy into that story. The third lie is "Just this one time." As we go to do something, even if we know in our hearts it’s not healthy, by just saying, “Oh, just this once I’ll do it.” That is a lie, because typically is not just this once. The fourth lie is "I should be able to do this by myself." Let's get rid of the word 'should' here. If you need help, it is ok to ask for support. The fifth lie is "I can't upset other people." Actually it is not that you do not want to upset other people, you really do not want to tolerate your discomfort that goes along with hurting other people or making other people upset.  So there are a few lies we tell ourselves. Think about them. Be very gentle and tender with yourself. Take your time with this. You may want to put your foot in the water and pull it out really quickly because it’s too painful, but then practice. I’ve been doing this for several years and it has very much benefited me.  If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and M

Fri, February 05, 2021

Ep. 175: How to Practice Self-Compassion

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I want to talk about something that is so important to me. This is also something I think we all need a little reminder about from time to time and that is the importance of self-compassion. Today I want to share an exercise on how to practice self-compassion. I want you to imagine that someone you care about comes to you and says that they are struggling or having a hard time. What is your first reaction likely to be? You probably will say something along the lines of "Oh I'm so sorry. How can I help you?" Now I want you to try this same approach the next time you are struggling. You can learn how to practice self-compassion by treating yourself how you would treat a loved one or even a stranger who is struggling. Stop and say to yourself "Ok you are in pain. Let's tend to that pain." Our work is really to tend to ourselves the way we would tend to others. Respect ourselves the way we respect others. There is no exception to this. You deserve kindness every step of the way. The awesome thing about self-compassion is that it has been shown to reduce depression and anxiety , improve treatment outcomes and improve quality of life. So let's learn how to practice self-compassion and really honor how we are feeling, giving ourselves the same loving kindness that we show to others. If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information. Transcript of Episode 175 Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I’m your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn’t get to decide how you live your life. And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because experiencing anxiety ain’t easy. If that sounds good to you, let’s go. Welcome back lovely, lovely friends. How are yo

Fri, January 29, 2021

Ep. 174: Tools to Manage the Bully in Your Life

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast. Today I want to share with you all something that has been going on for a while now. For months, I have been harassed online by an anonymous troll who has been leaving really terrible, disgusting comments on my social media accounts. I want to share with you today some ways that I have dealt with this situation and to really give you some tools to manage the bully in your life, whether that takes the form of a real person or if that bully takes the form of fear and anxiety . Initially I tried doing what I would do when I am faced with fear. I simply tried not engaging. These are the same tools you would use to manage intrusive thoughts and anxiety, which is, you just don't engage with them. You set strong boundaries and you bring your attention back to the things that you value. So I was trying that for a while. Then I realized that I wasn't setting strong enough boundaries. I was keeping what was happening a secret because I was feeling a lot of shame around this situation. When shame shows up, we tend to go underground. We keep it from people. But shame lives in the darkness. It can't survive in the light. So bringing it out into the light is where you actually have less pain because you've shared it with someone and you are validated. That was an incredible lesson to me. If you have a bully in your life, or if fear is your bully, you can apply the same things, which is, I am not engaging in any bully-like behavior. Not today, not tomorrow because I matter. My values matter. The people I love matter. I'm not giving attention to this, which is ineffective. I hope that this podcast today gives you some empowerment and permission to set boundaries and disengage with people who are ineffective in your life, who hurt you, who say unkind things, who do not treat you well.  If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information. Transcription of Ep. 174: <

Fri, January 22, 2021

Ep. 173: Things to Know When Starting Therapy

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I would like to discuss with you a question that comes up quite a lot when I am starting with a new client. So often my clients will say to me "What can I expect during my first session?" I want to share with you what I tell my clients about the things to know when starting therapy . The first thing I say to my clients is that your brain can change. You may have a disorder that was inherited or triggered by a certain event, but the good news is that by changing your behavior, you can actually change your brain. The second thing I say is that no matter your mental health struggle, there is a science proven way to treat that disorder. We have evidence based treatments and you can absolutely can get better. Thirdly, I tell my clients that no matter what struggles they are going through, it is not their fault. This is not something they asked to have happen. We are going to move away from assigning blame and move towards self-compassion. The fourth thing I would say is that you should not enjoy coming to see me. The work can be really hard and it will mean facing your fears, so if you are enjoying coming to see me then we may need to look at the reasons why. The goal is to actually give my clients the tools they need so that they do not need me anymore. Finally I tell my clients that they need to be prepared to do the hard work. There will be lots of homework and a lot of facing your fears, but nothing changes if they are not willing to do the work. I always remind them that it is a beautiful day to do those hard things. If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information. Ep. 173 Transcript: Guys, I am so grateful to have you with me today. I know your time is incredibly precious and valuable, and so I'm so happy to just be with you.  How are you doing? Just checking in. How is everybody? It is well and

Fri, January 15, 2021

Ep. 172: OCD Mindfulness Tools with Jon Hershfield

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I am so happy to have Jon Hershfield on with us. Jon is an author and the Director of the Center for OCD and Anxiety at Sheppard Pratt. The second edition of his book, The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD, has just been released and his new book, The Mindfulness Workbook for Teens, is scheduled for release in March. We had a great conversation about both books and Jon shares many of the OCD mindfulness tools that he describes in his books that are used to enhance treatment. In this interview, Jon explains why he wanted to write a book for teens and how he decided to approach the topics of mental health, OCD , and mindfulness in a way that would be relatable to teens and young adults. He discusses in more detail some of the topics in his book including how to understand your diagnosis, how to respond to intrusive thoughts, and how to incorporate meditation and mindfulness into your daily life. Jon also shares some OCD mindfulness tools that he describes in The Mindfulness Workbook. These include thoughts are thoughts, not threats; feelings are feelings, not fact, and sensations are sensations, not mandates to act. He shares that mindfulness really involves calling things what they are. Towards the end of this interview, we discuss Exposure and Response Prevention and the difference between habituation and inhibitory learning. He shares with us the five things we should consider when doing ERP with the goal of inhibitory learning. This is a great interview full of so many wonderful mindfulness tools to help you manage your OCD. I hope you enjoy! The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsion Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy The Center for OCD and Anxiety IG @ocdbaltimore <!-- wp:para

Fri, January 08, 2021

Ep. 171: Setting Boundaries with Fear

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast. It's a new year and as we settle into 2021, I am actually going to ask you guys to set a little bit of a goal. Not a resolution, a goal. I am so excited to talk with you all today about this topic because I really hope that this will be the goal you set for yourself this year.  I would like for you to start the year by setting boundaries with fear.  Now why do I think setting boundaries with fear is so important? Think about it this way, if someone came into your home, you wouldn't just allow them to behave any way they wanted. Right? No, you set boundaries in your home about what kind of behavior is going to be allowed and we know that those boundaries must remain consistent. I want you to try setting those same boundaries when fear shows up in your life. I would encourage you to sit down and actually write out what boundaries are you going to set with fear this year? And then the work begins by holding those boundaries consistently.  You may say to fear “No, fear. I see that you're here. It's okay that you're here. I'm not going to wrestle with you and I'm not going to do the thing you told me to do. I'm going to hold that boundary very strongly.”  I also want to encourage you to to set some boundaries with yourselves in the way that you speak to yourselves. Really try to be compassionate towards yourself and not use unkind words towards yourselves anymore. That's a strong boundary. You hold it, you set it, and you consistently put it into place. For example, let's say you don't hold the boundary very well with fear, instead of using unkind words about yourself try saying, “Okay, I'm not going to beat myself up. I made a deal and that's where I'm going to hold the consistency.” I hope you will try starting the year by setting those strong boundaries with fear, uncertainty, disgust, OCD , your eating disorder, your body-focused repetitive behavior, whatever it may be. Not letting them walk all over your life. And most importantly, I hope you can start the year by being very kind and gentle with yourself. If you have some time, I would love it if you would please go and leave me an honest review wherever you listen to podcasts – Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, or Stitcher. This w

Fri, December 25, 2020

Ep. 170: Skills to Get Through Quarantine

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. As you all know, I traveled back to Australia to visit family last month. The Australian government requires a 14 day quarantine for any visitors coming into the country. When my plane landed, I was escorted by police to a hotel in Sydney. I was then taken to my room and told that under law, I am not allowed to leave or even open a window for 14 days. Now that I am home and reflecting on my time in Australia, I really want to share with you some of the skills that I had to practice all day every day to get me through that quarantine. I hope some of these skills can also help you when you are facing a difficult situation. The first skill was to become an observer to my thoughts. It is quite common to be feeling fine and out of nowhere this overwhelming sense of panic takes over and you start to think "Oh my goodness I can't handle this." When this happens, you really have to recognize that you are not in danger. This thought can be so powerful that if you don't work to simply observe it, it can easily become truth or fact in that moment. By observing your thoughts, it actually helps you to diffuse from them which takes away some of their power. The second skill is to validate your pain. Once you have observed the thought, it is so important to validate that this is really hard. Try being gentle with yourself and not engaging in self-judgment. The third skill is to keep a routine. Now this does not mean keeping a compulsive, rigid routine; rather, simply take an inventory of what is important to you and make sure you schedule those activities into your day. For me, this meant scheduling phone calls with my family and friends. The fourth skill is to become aware of your small wins. It is so easy to become negative in a situation such as quarantine which is why it is so incredibly important not to discount your little wins. You may also want to try finding pleasure in the small moments or delights of your day. When you are deprived of pleasure, it is easy to overlook those little moments of joy, but it is important to recognize them when they appear. The final skill is one you hear me talk about a lot and that is "It's a beautiful

Sat, December 12, 2020

Ep. 169: DBT as a complement to ERP w/ Sommer Grandchamp

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I am so thrilled to share a fantastic interview I did with Sommer Grandchamp. Sommer has OCD and anxiety and she, just like so many people, went through some not so great therapy until she found the gold standard treatment for OCD, Exposure and Response Prevention. However, along the way she found that she needed some additional skills to help with her mental health. With her therapist, she learned a type of therapy called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Sommer is here today to talk with us about DBT and mindfulness and how these complements to ERP have been so useful in her recovery journey. I am a huge DBT fan and I actually use it a lot with my patients and clients, even though I tend not to discuss it too often. It really is so helpful to many people especially as an addition to ERP. Sommer not only shares some of her OCD story with us today, but she also shares the tools and different DBT skills that she uses to compliment her recovery from OCD and anxiety. Sommer has a tremendous amount of knowledge on this topic and so many awesome tools to share with us. Sommer is also the founder of the Discreet Journal. She created this journal to help people be more mindful and to practice some of these DBT skills that she is going to share today. I just love when people are able to create something to help others out of the hard times that they have gone through. I hope you enjoy this episode that is full of so much wisdom and some great tools that I feel will benefit anyone struggling with OCD or anxiety. Follow Sommer on Instagram @sgrandchamp and @discreetjournal www.discreetjournal.com ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to

Tue, December 08, 2020

Ep. 168: Acceptance with Dr. Jonathan Grayson

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. I am so excited because today we are so lucky to have with us again Dr. Jonathan Grayson. Dr. Grayson is a psychologist who has been specializing in the treatment of OCD for more than 40 years. He is also the author of Freedom from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and founder of The Grayson LA Treatment Center for Anxiety and OCD. We did an episode a couple of weeks ago that I hope you all were able to hear and at the end of that conversation we both really felt that we needed more time to talk about acceptance. I first want to ask you all how often do you get stuck wrestling with the way things are? Feeling that you don't really like the way things are, that you're sad about the way things are, that you're anxious about the way things are. Maybe you feel anxious or uncertain, or you are beating yourself up because you do not feel that you are good enough or smart enough or well enough? If that sounds like you then you are going to really love this episode on acceptance. Jon is here to share his amazing knowledge and experience on this topic and he does a great job of walking us through some of the biggest roadblocks to acceptance. I am so grateful that we had this conversation because you all know that I talk a lot about radical acceptance. As we continued through our conversation, I really thought to myself that I need to readjust my definition and my practice of acceptance. I hope you enjoy this conversation. I think it is such an important discussion and I am so thankful to Dr. Jonathan Grayson for coming on and sharing his wisdom with us. FreedomfromOCD.com - You can purchase Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as download Dr. Grayson's forms. The Grayson LA Treatment Center for Anxiety & OCD ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting

Sun, November 29, 2020

Ep. 167: How Poetry Can Turn Pain Into Beauty w/ Georgia Lock

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today on the podcast, I am so thrilled to have such an amazing and talented guest, Georgia Lock, on with us. Georgia is an actor, presenter, OCD advocate, and poet. She lives in London and has so much wisdom and beauty to share with us. Georgia is here to share how she has used poetry to turn the pain of her experience with OCD into beauty. Georgia shares her OCD story and recovery journey with us. We also have a great conversation about shame, guilt, and grief. Georgia shares several of her poems with us and you will see why she is an award winning poet. Her poetry explains so well what it is like to live with mental illness, anxiety, and OCD. I just love when people can use words to perfectly describe what it is like to experience something, whether that be really joyful or really, really painful. Her poetry takes the pain that she has experienced and wraps it in such beauty. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation. It is a lovely story about someone who has struggled so deeply, but who also has done the work and is now moving on in her recovery journey in such a beautiful way. Follow Georgia on Instagram @georgia_nathalie Click here to purchase Georgia's book of poetry, With Every Wave ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.

Fri, November 20, 2020

Ep. 166: Are Feelings of Hyper-Responsibility Getting in Your Way?

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I wanted to talk to you about something that I have been struggling with recently. So you all know that I made the decision to travel back to Australia to visit my family. This decision caused a good deal of anxiety initially, but I also soon recognized that feelings of hyper-responsibility, such as am I being irresponsible by going home, were popping up as well. I had to break this down. Why do we have this sense of hyper-responsibility to always do things "right"? That level of responsibility can cause us a tremendous degree of anxiety .  We tend to put expectations that are unrealistic on ourselves to be perfect, good, the fixer of all things broken. So how can we take a step back from that? We actually exist on a spectrum. When you are anxious, maybe you need to recognize that so much of that anxiety is driven from these feelings of hyper-responsibility, from this fear of being irresponsible. That's key, my friends. Just because you feel it doesn't mean it's the truth. Just because you feel irresponsible doesn't mean you are irresponsible. We sometimes have to check the facts. I'm encouraging you to do a check on this hyper-responsibility and see if you can tone it down to a place that's healthy. You can check yourself as you start to respond in a compulsive or an avoidant or reassuring way and you can say, "Hey, is this being led by hyper-responsibility? And if so, where can I land that's healthy." I want you to challenge yourself in this area. Practice stepping back and letting somebody else be the responsible one for a minute or an hour or a day or a year. Try recognizing that yes you have some responsibilities, but also recognize where that hyper-responsibility may be getting in your way. ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.

Sun, November 15, 2020

Ep. 165: Your Feelings Are Meant for Feeling

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. As I am working on this podcast, I am about to embark on an international trip where I will be gone for a long time, away from my family, and part of the time isolated, in a quarantine hotel for several weeks. My emotions, I'm not going to lie, are all over the place. I swing from being grateful to angry to sad to happy to fearful. So I thought this was actually a perfect time for the subject of this episode which is your feelings are meant for feeling. Right now, I am having all of these different feelings, opposing feelings. Some of them are pretty strong and aggressive. Some will cause me significant discomfort and pain and some will be new, and I'll be curious about them.  We tend to get into trouble when we start to believe that we are supposed to control our feelings and be the gatekeeper of them. We allow some feelings and push others out. I want you all to know that you are supposed to feel your feelings, all of them. When you feel them and you wade your way through them, you heal them. I have learned that instead of being the gatekeeper, I pretend that the feeling is a guest and when it comes to the gate I say, "Hello, anger. Hello, fear. Hello irritability. I see you come on in." I allow them to be there as long as they need. I honor that each and every one of these emotions has a purpose. I'm allowed to be angry. I'm allowed to be anxious . I'm allowed to be whatever I feel. None of these feelings make us bad. None of these feelings define who we are. They are temporary emotions that we are supposed to feel.  When you take away the judgment of good and bad and right and wrong, you can start to see these feelings as waves that flow through you. Your sense of empowerment over these emotions also increases. It is a very empowering statement to say "I allow you. Welcome. Come on in." It is a gift to say, "I'm giving myself permission to feel. I'm not going to push my feelings away. I deserve to move through my feelings." That is my goal is here today. For you to recognize that there is nothing wrong with

Wed, November 11, 2020

Ep. 164: The Monsters That Live Inside Us w/ Sean Shinnock

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. On today's episode I am so excited to have Sean Shinnock with us. Sean is an amazing artist and mental health advocate and he is just one of the sweetest souls that I know. I am so thrilled to have Sean with me today to talk about the monsters that live inside us.  Now, for those of you who have heard Sean speak before, you know that he has a project called Draw Your Monster. The idea is for you to draw your monster, personify it, and actually bring that monster to life. You can then begin to have a conversation or a relationship with your monster which actually helps you with your recovery.  In our conversation today, we talk about our own monsters and what they look like, but we also go on to discuss the stigma and shame that lives within us and the pain that we go through when living with a chronic illness as well as a mental illness . We discuss the importance of accountability and strong support systems and we also have a beautiful conversation about vulnerability and simply being human. It really is such a lovely discussion with a dear, dear friend and I'm so excited for you guys to have a listen. I hope you will enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Sean's Instagram @sshinnock or @drawyourmonster Sean's website www.sshinnock.com ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.

Tue, November 03, 2020

Ep. 163: Stages of Grief

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we are going to be talking about a subject that I hope will resonate with a lot of you. We are going to be discussing the stages of grief because I really want to normalize the experience of grief and give you all permission to grieve what we are collectively going through right now. The stages of grief were first identified by psychiatrist and researcher, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. The first stage is denial. You may deny that the event happened, or deny your feelings, or you isolate away from people so that you don't have to talk about your feelings. The second stage is anger. You are grieving the loss of something and that makes you angry because it feels unfair. You may be angry about coronavirus or the loss of a loved one or maybe even your mental illness . The third stage is bargaining. You may do an analysis of the event and then start to go into a negotiation process in your mind. "If only I hadn't done this, it would have been better." The fourth stage is depression. In this stage, things feel really hard and you deeply grieve and have a deep sense of sorrow. The fifth stage is acceptance. In this stage, you come to an acceptance of the situation. You start to reintegrate into your life and begin to move on.  There is a final stage that has also been described called the making meaning stage. In this stage, you try and give your grief meaning by turning your pain into purpose.  These steps are here to help you acknowledge the normal experience of grief. So often people have these feelings and are not quite sure what it is, which can make the experience far worse. I want you to remember that these are normal processes that we go through during life. With life, there is loss. Your job is to be your own most compassionate, supportive friend as often as you can and as unconditionally as you can. I hope that you are finding some peace and joy in these very difficult days. If not, just keep reminding yourself that is a beautiful day to do a hard thing, and this is a very hard thing that we are all doing right now so please give yourself tons of grace. ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click <a href= "https://www.cbtschool.com/pro

Thu, October 29, 2020

Ep. 162: OCD and Scrupulosity w/ Mimi Cole

  Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today on the podcast we have a wonderful interview with OCD and mental health advocate Mimi Cole. Mimi is currently working on her graduate degree in counseling and she is here to talk with us today about her lived experience with OCD , scrupulosity, and an eating disorder. Mimi so beautifully states that she wants to share her story in order to increase awareness, education and resources while decreasing the shame and misconceptions surrounding OCD. Mimi shares her OCD story, specifically her struggles with scrupulosity. She describes how her religion and her religious upbringing became intertwined with perfectionism and OCD. She shares a bit about her exposures for scrupulosity and what motivated her to begin ERP. Mimi also describes her experience with orthorexia and her obsessions surrounding clean eating and how she feels this became a link between OCD and an eating disorder. We discuss that intersection between body image, clean eating obsessions, restrictive food intake and how these are all connected to OCD. Mimi is currently exploring a research project on eating disorders as a coping mechanism for OCD. Towards the end of the interview, Mimi shares how she manages her OCD in recovery. She talks about self-compassion and accepting our common humanity as a few tools she uses to help. This interview is full of such great information particularly about scrupulosity, a theme of OCD that is not often discussed. I found it so uplifting and informative and I think you will as well. Mimi's instagram @the.lovelybecoming Mimi's website www.mimi-cole.com ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now

Tue, October 20, 2020

Ep. 161: Feeling Guilty Doesn't Mean You Have Done Something Wrong

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today's episode comes out of a conversation I had with a client and I thought you all might need to hear this as well. Today we are going to be talking about guilt and this idea that feeling guilty doesn't mean you have done something wrong. I know that idea might feel strange. When we are feeling guilty, we usually assume that means we have done something wrong. Try thinking of guilt as an intersection. When the feeling arises you can chose to take the road that you have done something wrong or you can go in a different direction and try asking yourself "Is this real? Is there actually evidence that I have done something wrong? Is there a chance that my brain has made a mistake and set off the guilt alarm without there being a problem?" If you see that there is no evidence that you did something wrong, you can try practicing compassion and mindfulness and just allow those feelings of guilt to be there. If you recognize that yes you made a mistake then you can work to address the situation. A lot of us simply have a little glitch in the guilt system and our guilt gets fired off a bit too easily, too often, and at times where guilt isn't really that appropriate. Guilt is just an emotion and when it comes up it provides an opportunity for growth. Guilt can be painful and it can make us feel bad about ourselves, but remember that you have a choice when guilt shows up. You can choose that road of compassion and simply allow the emotion of guilt to be there. ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.

Thu, October 15, 2020

Ep. 160: Embracing Uncertainty

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today on the podcast, I am so excited to interview Dr. Jonathan Grayson, a psychologist who has been specializing in the treatment of OCD for more than 40 years. He is also the author of Freedom from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and founder of The Grayson LA Treatment Center for Anxiety and OCD. In this interview, Dr. Grayson discusses the power of embracing uncertainty in the treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder . In the beginning of our conversation, Dr. Grayson discusses how he explains OCD to his new clients. He shares that the core of OCD is trying to be absolutely certain and that the goal of treatment is to learn to live with that uncertainty in the same way that we live with all of the many uncertainties of life. We then go on to discuss the ways he helps motivate his clients to do ERP and to begin embracing that uncertainty. He has his clients fill out a form that asks certain questions including the one that he finds most critical "Why would I take this risk?" He also has his clients write down "What have you lost to OCD?" "How have you hurt the people you love because of OCD?" and "What do you hope to do with your life when you are free from OCD?" I found another question he asks his clients to be particularly helpful. When asking clients to begin embracing uncertainty and to take the risk that X may happen, he asks them to imagine how you will attempt to cope if the most terrible thing you can imagine actually happens. We also have a great discussion about mindfulness and compassion and how he uses both in his practice. This interview is full of so many fantastic insights. I learned so much myself and I hope that you will find it as enjoyable and informative. FreedomfromOCD.com - You can purchase Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder as well as download Dr. Grayson's forms. The Grayson LA Treatment Center for Anxiety & OCD ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click <a href= "https://w

Wed, October 07, 2020

Ep. 159: The Mental Tantrum

I know it continues to be a really tough time for everyone. I am definitely not immune to those struggles. In taking time off, I came to a realization about why I was having such a hard time. It wasn't about COVID or anxiety or stress. I was struggling because I had been having a mental tantrum inside my own head 24/7. My mental tantrum sounded something like this "It's not fair. This should not be happening. I'm supposed to be healing. This isn't the way it should be. It's not fair." I had no idea I was even doing this. I was having an adult sized tantrum in my head that no one else could see. Now it is important to understand that all of these thoughts are valid. It is a tough time and people are suffering, but the way I was saying it was definitely not validating. I approached this by turning back to what has been the foundation of my recovery, something I learned about 15 years ago. It is rooted in the principles of Buddhism and that is 'in life there is suffering. It is not the suffering that causes the pain. It is the resistance to the suffering that causes you the pain.' So for me in this situation, my resistance or my mental tantrum was actually what was causing me the most pain. Recognizing this and having compassion for myself is so important here. And asking myself is there a way that I can take off my stomping shoes and stop resisting the fact that this is a hard time? We really do have a choice. Do we meet hard times with tantrums and resistance or do we meet those hard times with compassion, validation, consideration and respect? In these moments now when I still find myself throwing that mental tantrum, I simply note it and say "Ok I see what's happening and how am I going to deal with it? Am I going to keep throwing this tantrum or am I going to hold space for the fact that this tantrum is representing how hard things are and how much I am still struggling?" This has been such a huge lesson for me during COVID-19. I hope it is helpful for you as well as we are all still navigating these difficult and challenging times. ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click <a href= "https://www.cbts

Wed, September 30, 2020

Ep. 158: Mindfulness and Meditation with Gelong Thubten

Today on Your Anxiety Toolkit, we are joined by Gelong Thubten, a Buddhist monk, meditation teacher and the author of A Monk's Guide to Happiness. He is here to discuss how mindfulness and meditation can help us understand the power of our own minds. This episode is not about religion, rather, it is a beautiful message of wisdom and compassion. In this beginning of this episode, Gelong Thubten spends some time discussing happiness and how this desire to be happy really drives everything we do in life. The search for happiness can get us caught in a loop where we ultimately end up feeling more and more dissatisfied. He points out that the goal is to learn that true happiness is already inside each one of us. He goes even further to say that we can actually learn to be happy. It is a skill that we can practice. He explains that meditation can help us learn to be kinder to ourselves by teaching us how to transform our relationship with our thoughts. We become an observer of our thoughts during meditation. This non-judgment of thoughts and letting our thoughts simply be, actually allows us to have compassion for the moment and compassion for ourselves. Gelong Thubten gives some suggestions on how to begin a practice of mindfulness and mediation if you are a beginner. He stresses that there is no perfect way to meditate and it truly is a practice that you must work on. You don't have to do it perfectly for it to be effective. He suggests getting some instruction on how to meditate whether that is a book or online resource or even an app on your phone. He also suggests starting in very short increments, such as, five minute sessions. You begin your meditation by focusing on your body and finding your breath. When your mind wanders, do not engage in self-criticism, simply come back to your breath. We learn in this episode that meditation is a time of total freedom. You simply are in the moment, without judgment. By practicing these moments of nonjudgmental acceptance throughout the day, you are learning compassion which eventually will become your natural state. Gelong Thubten explains that our bodies are not designed for anger and rage. When we are happy, generous, kind, and connecting with others, we feel good inside, we feel happy which suggests that is our natural state.

Wed, September 23, 2020

Ep. 157: Self-Respect is Not Optional

Hello everyone!!! I am so grateful that I was able to take some time off, but I am so happy to be back and I am excited to talk to you today about a really important lesson that I have learned and that is this concept that self-respect is not optional. Let me share a little bit about what this means. So many times, especially during COVID, I have been faced with the question: am I going to be respectful or disrespectful to myself right now? We are all actually faced with this question everyday, multiple times per day. Your responsibility is to show yourself respect every moment of every single day. Why? Because you are a human being and you get to have respect simply for being human. It is not something you earn. It is unconditional. This can be really hard for a lot of us, but self-respect is not optional. You deserve self-respect no matter what simply for being you not because of something you have done. How do you go about showing yourself respect? First, start by setting boundaries. It is respectful to set kind, compassionate boundaries and to show up for yourself when someone crosses that boundary. Second, hold yourself accountable. In other words, do what you say you are going to do. If you say I am establishing boundaries then hold yourself to that. Third, listen to and honor your body. If your body is hungry the most respectful thing you can do is to feed it. If you are tired ask yourself what your body needs at that moment. Also acknowledge what you respect about yourself and even share that with those you love. You might say "I really respect how well I have handled this difficult time." I find it to be true that self-respect is really the first step towards self-compassion. Finally, do not apologize right away. Apologies are wonderful, but sometimes we move too quickly to apologize or find ourselves apologizing for every misstep. Sometimes it is better to take a step back and really have a conversation with the other person. It is more respectful to have that conversation about what happened and to understand the other person and have them understand you. The healing happens in the back and forth communication, in hearing each other's point of view. I want to leave you with the reminder that it's a beautiful day to do hard things and I hope you will let self-respect be one.</p

Fri, September 11, 2020

Special Annoucement

Hello everyone! We have some very EXCITING news today here at CBT School. We are so happy to announce that ERP School is being relaunched today, September 14, 2020! And we are so excited to say that it is now CEU approved!!!! This means that it is now an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. This is so special to us because it has long been a mission of CBT School to educate as many clinicians as possible about OCD and Exposure and Response Prevention. ERP School is jam packed with the same tools and information that Kimberley uses with her own clients to help them learn to manage their OCD. And now if you purchase ERP School between September 14-28, you will receive 2 FREE bonus materials that will be emailed directly to you! You will receive a free checklist of the important things you need to know as you practice ERP and a free audio training from Kimberley about things that may be getting in the way of your recovery. You will receive unlimited access to both of these bonus materials if you purchase before September 28th. So please head on over to cbtschool.com where you can purchase both the regular ERP School as well as the ERP School for CEU 's. Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast will be back on September 25th! We have so many awesome topics to cover and some amazing guests lined up. We can't wait! See you all on the 25th!

Wed, July 08, 2020

Ep.156: Taking a Break

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. I wanted to take some time today to let you know that I am going to be taking a break. I am going to take a couple of months off to heal, to replenish, to restore and to rest. I want to share with you how I came to this decision about taking a break because I am wondering if you may be struggling with the same feelings. Over the past several months, I have found that I have not been slowing down enough to replenish. I haven't been listening to my body which has been saying to me "rest, please take some time." What has been so hard for me and may be hard for some of you as well, were the feelings I had that "I should be able to handle all of this and I'm weak if I can't." I was really judging myself for having those feelings. When I finally stopped and accepted that my body was trying to tell me something, I was able to recognize that now more than ever, my body, as wise as it always is, was telling me to slow down and take more time. So I want to ask you all to check-in with yourself and do a quick assessment to really connect with your needs. What your body is telling you? We are in such difficult times right now. There is so much uncertainty and anxiety which can take a tremendous toll on the body. Now more than ever it is so important to recognize the importance of taking care of ourselves. So what can we do to begin taking care of ourselves? We can take a deep breath. We can bring validation and recognition to all of our feelings and then we can give ourselves exactly what we need. If that means eating a brownie, or having a good cry or taking a break. I hope you will stop and honor your body and give it what it needs at this time. ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com While Kimberley is taking a break, we are not going to leave you hanging. Each week for the next 10 weeks we will send you a new anxiety management tool to

Thu, July 02, 2020

Ep. 155: Learning to Embody Self-Compassion with Dr. Dennis Tirch

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today on the podcast, we are so lucky to be able to talk with Dr. Dennis Tirch, the founder of The Center for Compassion Focused Therapy and the author of six amazing books including, The ACT Practitioner's Guide to the Science of Compassion and The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety. Dr. Tirch is here to talk with us about learning to embody self-compassion. In the beginning of this interview, Dr. Tirch spends some time discussing the definition of self-compassion and why self-compassion is so important for our mental health, especially for those struggling with anxiety.  Dr. Tirch says that learning to embody self-compassion involves “grounding ourselves in a sense of emotional safeness, meaning and purpose.” By practicing self-compassion and mindfulness, Dr. Tirch says we can “gradually train the mind to rest in an awareness of compassion and care.” He so beautifully tells us that if people can learn to embody this self-compassion and feeling of being grounded then they will be able to “turn towards the things they fear and walk through them.”  By learning to embody self-compassion and learning to speak to yourself in a compassionate voice, Dr. Tirch says your empathy will grow and your ability to tolerate distress will grow as well. Dr. Tirch spends some time talking to us about his own personal self-compassion exercises and he shares how important breathing and meditation can be when learning to embody self-compassion. Finally, Dr. Tirch spends some time explaining the importance of “finding your aim.” When we ask ourselves “what is your aim?’ it helps us become more self-aware and able to find our purpose. This is an amazing interview so full of beauty and wisdom. I hope you all enjoy. The Compassionate-Mind Guide to Overcoming Anxiety <a

Fri, June 26, 2020

Ep. 154: Facing Your Fears with Patricia Zurita Ona

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today on the podcast we are talking about facing your fears with Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona, or Dr. Z for short. Dr. Z is a licensed clinical psychologist in California treating clients with OCD, anxiety and trauma. She has written several amazing books including Living Beyond OCD Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and The ACT Workbook for Teens with OCD. In our interview, Dr. Z discusses how to use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to augment treatment of OCD, social anxiety, panic disorder , and phobias. Dr. Z shares with us WHY facing your fears is so important and something you should want to do! In this episode, Dr. Z talks about, 1. Ruling your thoughts and how to unpack them. 2. How to date your mind. 3. How to know which behaviors are working and which are not. 4. How to find values that energize you. 5. Create your own ERP menu that includes your own triggers and avoidant behaviors. 6. Learn how to react using wisdom. 7. Learn how to identify the ways your brain creates patterns. Dr. Z's websites www.actbeyondocd.com and www.thisisdoctorz.com Dr. Z's Instagram @dr.z.passionatebehaviorist Link to Dr. Z's books https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

Thu, June 18, 2020

Ep. 153: A Self-Compassion Letter

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Recently we have talked a lot about self-compassion. If you go back to episodes 134, 146, and 147, you will see self-compassion mentioned a lot. Today we are going to expand on that discussion by learning how to write ourselves a self-compassion letter.  I have actually been doing this with my clients for years and it really just involves putting your self-compassion into words which can actually be so helpful. There are several steps in writing your self-compassion letter. The first step is to show awareness of your struggle. You might say “I see that you are having a hard time.” Whatever it is, just bring it to your awareness and write it down. The second step is bringing in some words of unconditional love. No matter how much you are suffering, you still get to be loved and cared for. The third step is to show yourself some empathy for the distress you are in. You might say “I see you. I see the pain you are going through. I can relate to that.” The fourth step is recognizing your common humanity. In your letter, you want to bring in the common humanity of your struggle. You could say “Everybody knows what it is like to have anxiety . I am definitely not alone.” Next you want to normalize the fact that when we suffer we all want to engage in safety behaviors. A safety behavior is anything you may do to try and take away your fear, or shame, or sadness. Safety behaviors usually have unintended consequences and they usually end up causing more problems. Instead you would want to explore some more helpful solutions. You are going to look at the situation and say “How might I help myself?” The last step is to say something really, really kind to yourself and finally you are going to read your self-compassion letter aloud. Below is an example of my own self-compassion letter. Kimberley, my dear one. It’s okay that I’m having a hard time right

Tue, June 09, 2020

Ep. 152: Managing Health Anxiety w/ Christian Newman

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today on the podcast we are talking with Christian Newman about managing health anxiety.  Christian is an anxiety coach who has done a lot of work learning to manage his own health anxiety and today he is sharing with us the tools that he has used to help regain his life from health anxiety.  In this interview, Christian shares his own struggle with health anxiety and how it impacted his daily life. He shares how a terrifying panic attack led him on a journey to discover how to deal with his health anxiety. He shares with us several important tools that he has used to help him effectively manage his health anxiety. The first tool is the contract that he made with himself. In this contract, Christian wrote down everything that he was going to do to overcome his anxiety. This included stress management, diet, exercise routine, and sleep habits. Once he made this contract, he committed to taking action in his own life. One of the first actions that he took involved addressing the compulsions that fueled his health anxiety. He asked himself what positive actions he could take instead of engaging in the compulsive behavior. This allowed him to teach his brain to engage in something more positive which would then allow him to move forward. He also discusses how mindfulness including journaling, setting intentions, and meditation have helped along with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.  He explains that at times he still has moments of uncomfortable symptoms or sensations, but he has learned how to recognize what is happening and not allow those feelings to derail his life. Christian’s Instagram @healthanxiety.coach Christian’s website www.healthanxiety.coach ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

Thu, May 28, 2020

Ep. 151: Coming Out of COVID-19

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I want to talk with you all about the feelings of uncertainty you may have coming out of COVID-19. As we slowly begin to move out of quarantine, a lot of my patients and clients have started to talk about how scary it is to go back into life because there are so many uncertainties. Coming out of a difficult time requires us to accept change while staying in the uncertainty. When we begin coming out of COVID-19, we must face this sort of uncertainty, not knowing whether it will stay or whether it will get better or if it will come back. What is it going to look like in six months? What is it going to look like in a year? These are the questions we are all asking and because we are asking those big, big questions, we are going to have big, big emotions about them. Having these big emotions does not mean that you are not handling this well.  It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you. My hope is to give you permission to have them. My second wish is to ask you to please not judge yourself for what you experience as you begin coming out of COVID-19. If those big emotions show up, before you judge yourself gently say, "It's okay. It's okay that I feel this. I'm allowed to feel these emotions." Remember, it is normal to feel anxiety . You might have anxiety about having to go back to seeing people in person. You might have anxiety about having to find a new rhythm to life. You may have been secretly benefiting from quarantine because it meant that you didn't have to be around the thing that scared you before COVID-19. If you have been lucky enough to not see the thing that frightens you, I really urge you to go right back into staring that fear in the face as soon as possible, because the longer you delay it, the harder it's going to get.  The thing to remember about anticipation is that is ultimately just about the uncertainty.  It's about leaning in and saying, "Okay, I radically accept that I don't know. I'm going to take one step at a time. I am not going to beat myself up. I'm going to do my best to be non-judgmen

Fri, May 22, 2020

Ep. 150: Learning to Trust Yourself

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we are going to talk about a really important topic: learning to trust yourself.  Trust is so important for our feelings of safety and security. So often I hear from people who are experiencing anxiety and depression that they do not trust themselves. Today I want to share with you all a metaphor about trust, that I love, and I think it will help you conceptualize how to look at trust. This is a metaphor that Brene Brown has talked about a lot. She said that when you meet somebody they have an empty jar (metaphorically) and overtime as they show you in little ways, it might be their consideration, their respect for you, maybe they remembered your birthday, perhaps they sent you a little care package, every time they do something nice for you one marble is placed in the jar. If they do another small thing, you put another marble in the jar and overtime that jar fills up. This is how we experience a sense of trust for that person. Trust is something that grows and it often doesn’t come from the big things. It comes from the teeny tiny things. Maybe a little smile when you are having a hard time, or checking in with you, or holding a safe place for you when you are struggling. So, now that we have that conceptualization that trust is something we build over time, we also need to recognize that when somebody has let us down the marbles may come out. Maybe half the marbles. Maybe all the marbles. Perhaps just one. We can always grow trust back even if someone has betrayed us. If we want to build that trust back up, this involves giving the person a second chance. Often when someone has been very seriously betrayed, they make the choice, "I don't want to trust that person. I don't want to ever put myself in that position again.” Whereas other people might say, “well I love this person. I'm willing to take the risk.”  Now, this applies to ourselves too. You begin learning to trust yourself based on the small acts that you do for yourself. It's about taking care of yourself, making sure you're well-fed, making sure you're listening to your body. When you're frightened, it's about doing the hard thing instead of the easy thing. Every time we do that we are saying, “I've got your back unconditionally even during the difficult times.”  Now, just like I said before if you betray yourself, you ignore your needs, and put yourself down, you take out some of those marbles. If I've let a friend down or my partner down or my child down, I will intentionally try to regain their trust, and I'll do it in very small ways. I will be there for them, be kind to them, show up for them. This is the case for myself as well. If I have let myself down, I will need to show up in small ways with the intention that I want to trust myself.  <p

Thu, May 14, 2020

Ep. 149: Becoming a Better Advocate with Heather Hansen

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we have on the podcast an amazing guest, Heather Hansen. Heather is a trial attorney, television legal analyst, and author of The Elegant Warrior: How to Win Life’s Trials Without Losing Yourself. Heather shares how we can learn to become a better advocate for ourselves using many of the same tools that she has used in the courtroom.  In this episode, Heather details the “tools of an advocate” that you can use to help win over your own self jury, that critical voice in your head that may say “You’re not good enough. Things aren’t going to work out. It’s time to be anxious .”  One of the tools Heather discusses involves collecting evidence when faced with self-doubt or worry. She suggests writing down, at the end of the day, what has made you proud. By collecting evidence, you start to build credibility with yourself. You can’t advocate for yourself unless you believe in yourself. Collecting evidence, building credibility and believing in yourself are the first steps in learning to become a better advocate.  Another tool of the advocate involves the words that you use and particularly the words you say to yourself. Words can create your reality. If you are anxious and use the term ‘I am freaking out’ you likely will freak out.  However, changing your words to ‘I am concerned’ can actually change how you view a situation. The next tool is perspective. If you view the world as dangerous and scary then the world is going to feel dangerous and scary. There are always many ways to view a situation, Heather challenges us to look at all of those different views and then choose the perspective that best serves you. Finally Heather spends some time discussing how presentation, body language, and tone are also important tools of an advocate. Heather provides such fascinating information and amazing insight. I was taking notes during the entire interview! I hope you find it as helpful. You can find more information on Heather Hansen's blog, podcast, books, and coaching services at heatherhansenpresents.com <!-- wp:paragrap

Wed, May 06, 2020

Ep. 148: Anger Is Your Friend

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast. Today I want to talk to you about anger. I have talked about anger before, but this time is a little bit different. I want to tell you why anger is your friend. When I say that to people, they usually have a reaction and they say “No, it’s not. Anger is horrible. Anger makes me uncomfortable.” I think we have anger all wrong because society tells us it’s wrong. We are told “You are not allowed to be angry. It is disrespectful to be angry. You’re overreacting. You are so insecure.” Those are the messages we so often receive about anger and they only direct us away from listening to our anger. Let’s first discuss, what is anger? Anger is an emotion that you feel and it is usually a reaction to some kind of injustice or some kind of threat. If you have been wronged, you feel angry about it. If you feel like you are physically or emotionally in danger, anger is usually the emotion that arises. Anger is just one emotion in our toolkit and it is so important.  The cool thing about anger is that anger propels us forward. While anxiety pulls us backward, anger pushes us forward into either protection or problem solving mode. Anger is your friend because it shows up with a message that we should listen to. If you feel anger, the trick is to see that underneath the anger is an emotion that has a lot of knowledge and something to tell you. Anger is your friend because it will help lead you to where you work is, whether that is fear, shame, guilt or any other underlying emotion.   When you feel anger arise, the first thing I am going to encourage you to do is to just validate the feeling. You can say “I feel angry and that is OK or I am noticing anger in my body right now.” Next I want you to meet yourself with compassion. Something has been activated, some kind of pain and all pain, no matter the source, deserves and requires compassion. Finally, once you’ve validated and practiced self-compassion, the next step is to ask yourself what is underneath this anger?  What is it trying to tell me? So in this moment just get really quiet and listen. Are you angry because you are afraid? Are you angry because you feel shame? Are you angry because someone brought up

Thu, April 30, 2020

Ep. 147: How to Access Your Compassionate Self

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I want to share with you one of my favorite topics of all time: how to access your compassionate voice. You may be thinking what exactly does that mean?  Well it means helping you to get in touch with the compassion that lives inside each of you. So often my clients and patients say to me “I don’t know how to access compassion” or “I don’t know what that even feels like.” Here is the thing. Your compassionate voice has always been inside of you, but sometimes other messages are simply louder. If you learn to listen deeply for it than it becomes so much easier to pick up. That little voice inside of you is ready to speak up and it is ready to fill you with a loving sense of self-compassion. During this episode, I walk you through how to begin to access your compassionate voice. You start by closing your eyes, following your breath and asking yourself some questions. These questions help you to tap into your compassionate voice and to start to become familiar with it. First, what does your compassionate voice sound like?  What tone does your compassionate voice speak in? How would you like your compassionate voice to show up for you? How do you relate to your compassionate voice? Finally, what do you need from your compassionate voice?  I really hope you will be open and experiment with this practice. It is such a beautiful exercise and the more you do it, the more you will hear and feel your compassionate voice. Even if it seems unnatural at first, I hope you will still give it a try because it can be really helpful for your mental health . Try viewing it as a type of emotional training. You are giving yourself a tool that one day you may need and then you will have it with you and know how to use it. Remember compassion is not about making the pain go away; rather, it is about meeting your suffering with safety. It is about showing up for yourself during the hard times.  ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

Fri, April 24, 2020

Ep. 146: A Compassion Tool(When You Don't Feel Worthy of Compassion)

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I want to talk with you about self-compassion and to give you a compassion tool to try if you are struggling with feeling worthy, deserving, or comfortable with self-compassion. In order to understand this tool, I want you to imagine a scenario. Let’s imagine you are having a moment of fear. In that moment, you may naturally engage in a safety behavior, something that protects you from the fear. Safety behaviors are natural. We as humans have learned to protect ourselves by getting away from danger. However, a problem that often comes with safety behaviors is the unintended consequence. If you have social anxiety and your safety behavior is to avoid social interactions then the unintended consequence may be that you feel lonely. So if you have a fear and you engage in a safety behavior that leads to unintended consequences, you may then judge yourself for how poorly you handled a situation. Here is where the compassion tool comes in. Before you start judging, I want you to try and catch yourself. This takes a lot of mindfulness .  Try and recognize that these safety behaviors are part of the human experience. Try telling yourself “all humans engage in safety behaviors because all humans have felt fear, sadness, guilt or shame. I am going to show myself some compassion.”  Another point to remember is that when we have an emotion whether it is fear or sadness or shame and we engage in a safety behavior another unintended consequence is that we are actually making that emotion feel much bigger. The more you don’t want to feel fear, the stronger and scarier it actually feels. Again, I want you try meeting those emotions with compassion. When you notice fear you may try saying “OK I am having feelings of fear. All humans feel fear. This is a normal experience.” Instead of engaging in a safety behavior you might say “Wow fear, thank you for showing up. Thank you for trying to protect me. I am going to send you well wishes because I want to create a relationship with fear that is positive instead of negative." I truly hope this compassion tool will be of help to you in those moments of struggle. I hope you will show yourself compassion for all of

Thu, April 16, 2020

Ep. 145: The 5 Thoughts You Need to Watch for During COVID-19

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I want to share with you the five thoughts you need to watch out for during COVID-19. I know we are in a stage right now where we are all trying to adapt to our new normal. Over the past week, I have noticed a few thoughts that have come up with clients about our current situation that I want to share with you.  Here we go. These are the 5 thoughts you need to watch out for during COVID-19. 1. “I cannot handle this.”  This is really important because if you are telling yourself that you cannot handle it then chances are you probably won’t. What I would love for you to say instead is, "I can do hard things.” You don't have to do it perfectly, but you absolutely can handle it. 2. “I am going crazy indoors." It is easy to start feeling claustrophobic if you are constantly reminding yourself that you are indoors or cooped up. Instead try switching this statement to “It’s hard for me to be indoors.” I also think it is really important if you are in a place where it is safe and you are able to try and get outdoors every day. Even if it means just standing outside your front door. Getting outdoors at least once a day is so important for our mental health. 3. “When will it end?” This one is really, really hard. If you are spending a lot of time trying to answer this question then you are probably going to end up frustrated, disappointed and more anxious because nobody has the answer. Instead, I would encourage you to try and stay in the present moment. Try focusing on the present day only, not what might happen next week or next month. 4. “Life will never be the same.” Another one that is really hard because there is a lot of grieving happening right now. You may be grieving that your life looks and feels so different. If we keep telling ourselves that life will never be the same, we end up creating a lot more anxiety and ultimately a lot more grief. I think it is so important to give yourself a lot of compassion if this thought is coming up for you.  5. “I should” statements. These look like “I should

Wed, April 08, 2020

Ep. 144: Can Nutrition Impact Mental Health? (with Heather Lillico)

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we have Heather Lillico on the podcast.  Heather is a registered holistic nutritionist, yoga instructor, as well as a delightful human being. Today she is going to discuss how nutrition can impact mental health . Heather shares a little bit about her own mental health journey and how that led her to explore the connection between nutrition and mental wellness. Heather discusses what it means to be a holistic nutritionist. She explains that she focuses a great deal on the whole person, not only how nutrition can impact mental health, but also how a person’s sleep patterns and exercise can as well.  Heather shares some really helpful and fascinating information about how nutrition can impact mental health along with some slights changes you can make in your day to day life to improve your mental health. She takes some time explaining the role that a variety of different nutrients play in our mental well being. Heather does a beautiful job explaining to us how we can be a little more intentional with what we put in our mouths and on our forks. She gives some really simple ways that we can incorporate different nutrients and foods into our daily life. Heather also takes some time to explain the connection between our gut health and our mental health.   I am so excited to share this episode with you at this time. Food keeps us nourished. Food is also a huge source of pleasure. Meal time is when we can join as a family and communicate and have a connection. It's a huge piece of our mental health right now so I thought this was a really, really great time to have this conversation with Heather and talk about all things food!  Heather's website www.heatherlillico.com Heather's Instagram @heather_lil ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to <a href="https://www.cbts

Thu, April 02, 2020

Ep. 143: You Can Do Hard Things

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I want to remind you that you can do hard things! In this episode, I spend some time talking with you about how important it is to validate all the feelings you are experiencing during this difficult time. With so much going on around the world, there are so many emotions, so many feelings. And I think that we sometimes forget to stop and say, "Wow, this is hard for me," or "Oh, this is a moment of real suffering and struggle for me," or "I'm noticing I'm having a lot of anxiety ." It is so important to make space for all those feelings. To acknowledge and validate those feelings and to create a safe place for those emotions to be there as this event rises and falls. In this episode, I share with you all a little bit about how I am working to validate my own emotions when I am having moments that are difficult. The most important thing I want you all to take away from this episode and to remember during this very, very difficult time is: "It's a beautiful day to do hard things,” and you are doing hard things.  You were already doing hard things before this happened, right? But every time it gets a little harder, you realize how much stronger you are. Sending so much love to you all! Did you know that we were listed in the top 10 OCD podcasts to follow in 2020? https://blog.feedspot.com/ocd_podcasts/

Fri, March 27, 2020

Ep. 142: The Poetry Bandit

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. You guys, you are going to love this episode with one of my favorite poets of all time, The Poetry Bandit. Jon Lupin, aka The Poetry Bandit joins us today to tell us his story about sobriety, OCD , relationships, mental health and how poetry has helped him through.  This is a story about honesty, vulnerability, and commitment. The Poetry Bandit shares his story and together we talk about some of the hidden meanings of his poetry. Jon and I got to read a few of his poetry pieces and talk about how he manages his anxiety, OCD, and sobriety while being a father, employee, friend and poet.  If you get a chance, check out The Poetry Bandit's books of poetry. The links are below.    Encyclopedia of a Broken Heart: Poems You Only Love Me When I'm Suffering: Poems My Sober Little Moon Jon's Instagram @the_poetrybandit Please join the IOCDF for a COVID-19 & OCD Live Townhall. Saturday March 28th at 2 PM EST. Bring your questions for Kimberley, Ethan Smith, Jon Hershfield, and Stuart Ralph. https://www.facebook.com/IOCDF/ Kimberley did a FREE Self-Compassion webinar on The Peace of Mind Foundation's FB page.  https://www.facebook.com/peaceofmindfoundation/ Did you know tha

Fri, March 20, 2020

Ep. 141: A Mindfulness Tool to Help with Coronavirus Anxiety

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. In today’s podcast, I want to provide you all with an easy mindfulness tool to help with coronavirus anxiety. These are tough times, I know. It is overwhelming and there is a lot of information out there. In this episode, I would like to encourage you to step away from the tools that everybody is giving you right now and hopefully provide you with an easy tool that will help you in the deepest, darkest, moments of struggling. Now I am still going to strongly encourage you to reduce your consumption of news and to receive your news from one reputable source for a limited amount of time per day. I also want to encourage you to get support right now. Reach out to your people, every single day. In this episode, I also want to give you this mindfulness tool to help with coronavirus anxiety that you may have heard me mention before. It is actually a four step mindfulness tool known by the acronym, RAIN. The R in RAIN is for RECOGNIZE. This tool is to get you to slow down or stop and be in the present. Ask yourself, “What is it that I am feeling? What is it that I am thinking right now? What is it that I am experiencing?” The A in RAIN is for ALLOW. You are going to allow what you have recognized and you are not going to judge it, just allow it to come and go. The I in RAIN is INVESTIGATE. I think this is really important right now. Investigate involves engaging with your deep sense of curiosity. It involves looking at things as if you have never seen them before. The N in RAIN is for NURTURE. You have recognized what you are feeling, you’ve allowed what you are feeling, and you have investigated it with a curious mind. What is left over, you nurture. You provide yourself with a huge dose of self-compassion. Help Manage COVID-19 anxiety and stre

Thu, March 12, 2020

Ep. 140: How Anxiety Impacts Sex (with Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy)

I cannot tell you how often I get asked about how anxiety impacts sex. Social media followers often ask questions that involve how anxiety decreases sex drive, how sexual arousal can occur at unwanted times and the impact medication has on sexual arousal and orgasm.  In today's episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we have Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy to speak about all things anxiety and sex. Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy is a certified sex therapist, psychologist, and upcoming author and she answered all of my questions on how anxiety impacts sex.  When discussing the topic, Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy answered the following questions:  How can we refocus on the present when anxious? Does anxiety impact orgasm? Can anxiety cause sex to be painful? How to handle arousal related to unwanted, intrusive thoughts? How to manage strong feelings about sex, such as desire but also repulsion? How to manage sex hygiene? Will medication impact sexual arousal? Instagram: @drlaurenfogelmersy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drlaurenfogelmersy/ Please join the IOCDF for a special addition of Just, Ethan this Saturday, March 14 at 2 PM EST. This live stream on Facebook and YouTube will be an OCD/Coronavirus Town Hall with special guests Kimberley Quinlan and Shala Nicely. Come and bring your questions! https://www.facebook.com/IOCDF/ Please check out this really helpful article on managing anxiety over the coronavirus.

Thu, March 05, 2020

Ep. 139: How to Manage Health Anxiety

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. In today's podcast, I give an account of how I manage health anxiety, both when managing medical issues and during medical tests. With all of the fear related to the Coronavirus, health anxiety is becoming a very scary word. Many with OCD are impacted by this because doctors and authorities are telling them to be concerned. This is very much the same when you are dealing with a medical issue and it can be hard to differentiate what is appropriate and what is fear-related. In this episode, I address how to manage health anxiety from many different perspectives and I hope you find it helpful. Please check out this post about managing health anxiety over the coronavirus. https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/managing-ocd-about-coronavirus/ ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. The cost is $197 and includes almost 6 hours of the same ERP information and skills that Kimberley teaches her face-to-face clients. ERP School is only offered two times per year. The last day to purchase is Monday March 9, 2020. https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp

Thu, February 27, 2020

Ep. 138: 10 Things I Have Learned About Recovery (with Katy Marciniak)

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have the incredible Katy Marciniak talking about the “10 things I have learned about recovery”. Katy is open and honest and vulnerable in this episode and I cannot respect her more. She has really shown us how possible recovery is, but she is also honest about the ups and the downs.  Here are the main points Katy covers. * At first if you don't succeed, try, try again. * There is not set time frame for recovery or for therapy. Take your time and don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself. * Vulnerability is your friend! You might not think it is, but it will help you get through the ups and the downs of recovery. * Its okay! It’s okay if you are anxious. It is okay if you are sad. It is okay if you are angry. It is okay if you are struggling. These feelings do not make you bad or wrong and it doesn’t mean you are not moving in the right direction. Don’t beat yourself up for having a mental disorder or for needing therapy. Therapy does not mean you are weak or faulty. * There is freedom in not knowing. Having uncertainty, while it feels bad, is a good thing and will make you stronger. * Do not isolate yourself. And you are not alone. Try to find a group of people who are just like you and are going through something similar. A great option would be to join our private Facebook group called CBT School campus! * Live in the moment. It might sound like a catch phrase, but you can actually learn how to stay present and not get caught up in the future and the past. * Don’t knock self-compassion! It will help you in ways you cannot even imagine. * Going to therapy will not solve all of your problems. You must be willing to do the work at home, at work and in your relationships. * Give yourself the credit you deserve. You are going through a lot and you are so strong. Instagram @navigatinguncertainty Katy's Blog: https://navigatinguncertaintyblog.wordpress.com/about/ Today is the day!!!! ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. The cost is $197 and incl

Mon, February 24, 2020

Special Announcement

FREE TRAINING:  10 Things You Absolutely Need To Know About OCD  Available Today! February 24, 2020 If you have OCD, or you know someone who does, please join us each evening at 6 pm PST to learn about the 10 things you need to know about OCD.⁠ ⁠ Things to note: ⁠ It’s free! ⁠ Its offered each evening this week. ⁠ The webinar is pre-recorded and will be sent directly to your inbox. ⁠ It’s FREE! ⁠ You can watch it in your PJ’s⁠ If you miss the training, a replay will be sent to your inbox the following day. ⁠ Did I mention that it is free? ⁠ I LOVE YOU ALL AND HOPE YOU ENJOY IT! ⁠ https://www.cbtschool.com/10things ERP SCHOOL is HERE! ERP School is a complete online course that teaches you how to apply Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) to your Obsessions and Compulsions. Available February 27, 2020! ERP School is $197 and includes almost 5 hours of the same ERP information and skills that Kimberley teaches her face-to-face clients.  https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp

Thu, February 20, 2020

Ep. 137: Travel is the Best ERP (with Gilad Gamliel)

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we are talking about how travel is the best ERP and how you can use travel to help conquer your fears. Today we are joined by Gilad Gamliel from the popular blog, www.overthinkerspassport.com. In this episode, Gilad Gamliel discusses how travel can be the best ERP especially for those who struggle with anxiety, panic and obsessive compulsive disorder . Gilad is 27 years old and has health anxiety and OCD. He shares how OCD and anxiety tried to confine him and keep him living a small and “safe” life, but for some reason, he was pulled towards taking a leap and trying travel. Gilad shares that he originally thought “travel just isn't for me” because his anxiety was so bad. However, Gilad found there have been many positives to come out of his experience traveling. In this episode, he shares why someone should travel and the benefits of traveling with anxiety. He also shares many special tips for traveling with anxiety and OCD. Some of the tips he shares are: 1. Step back to get perspective. 2. Remember that this travel experience is temporary and not permanent. 3. Focus on the present and engage with your surroundings. 4. Take note that there are many things happening that you have never seen. 5. Use technology to help build a support system from home. 6. Ask other travelers for advice. You will find that they may want companionship also. 7. You can do this, even with anxiety. You can bring anxiety with you and learn that anxiety doesn’t have to ruin everything for you as you travel and experience the world. Website: https://www.overthinkerspassport.com/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/gil.ad.ventures Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/overthinkerspassport OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www

Thu, February 13, 2020

Ep. 136: 8 Things I Want You to Know Today

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I wanted to share with you the 8 things I want you to know. You might be wondering, “How does Kimberley know what I need?” You are correct. I really cannot be sure, but I can guess and I wondered if you needed to hear any of these 8 points.  Here they are:  1) It's ok to feel what you are feeling. You are allowed to feel it all! The good. The bad. The uncomfortable. There is no “right” way to feel. 2) Your thoughts do not define your worth. Not today. Not tomorrow. This is true for every single person. If you are wondering, “If she only knew how bad my thoughts are." I mean you too. There is no thought that disqualifies you or depletes your worth.  3) There is nothing you need to change. Nope! You are perfect, even with all of your imperfections. Hey, you are perfect because of your imperfections.  4) You are supported. Lean on the CBT School Facebook group if you are feeling alone. 5) We will not give up on you. When I say “we” I actually mean YOU AND ME! I won't give up on you and you can’t either.  6) You are enough. That is all I am going to say. It’s a fact!  7) This moment is temporary. This moment might feel unbearable, I understand. However, please remember that this moment is only here for a moment....and then it passes. No anxiety lasts forever.  8) You deserve love and peace. You really do deserve love and peace. We all do. If you are having a hard time right now, I am sorry. I wish you love and peace in the little ways and the big.  OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-ti

Thu, February 13, 2020

Ep. 133: Perfectly Hidden Depression with Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I speak with the incredible Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford. I cannot tell you how happy I am that she reached out for this interview. In this episode, Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford talks to us about a term coined, perfectly hidden depression. She talks specifically about how it differs from classic depression and she describes for us the ten characteristics of perfectly hidden depression with number 8 being that it often accompanies mental health struggles such as OCD, eating disorders, addictions or anxiety disorders.  The following are those 10 commonly shared characteristics that Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford discusses: You are highly perfectionistic, with a constant, critical inner voice of intense shame.  You demonstrate a heightened or excessive sense of responsibility. You have difficulty accepting and expressing painful emotions. You worry a great deal and avoid situations where control isn’t possible.  You intensely focus on tasks, using accomplishment as a way to feel valuable. You have an active and sincere concern about the well-being of others while allowing few if any into your inner world. You discount or dismiss hurt or abuse from the past or the present. You have accompanying mental health issues, involving control or escape from anxiety. You hold a strong belief in “counting your blessings” as the foundation of well-being. You have emotional difficulty in personal relationships, but demonstrate significant professional success. Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford also addresses the Five C’s in the healing process for perfectly hidden depression. I think you will really resonate with the words and concepts discussed in this episode. Thank you Dr. Margaret Robinson Rutherford for your wonderful work. https://drmargaretrutherford.com/perfectly-hidden-depression/ https://drmargaretrutherford.com/ https://drmarg

Thu, February 06, 2020

Ep. 135: The Phases of Treatment (With Jeff Goldman)

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I have the pleasure of interviewing Jeff Goldman, a Hollywood executive and the Director of Development for OCD Southern California. In this interview, Jeff shares his very vulnerable story of being tormented by OCD and how it has impacted his family and his career. Jeff shares his highs and lows with us in his very inspirational and honest story.  In this interview, Jeff Goldman shares his story of having “Just Right” OCD and how the fear of being a failure caused him to become paralyzed with anxiety. Jeff explains that he was diagnosed with OCD at 17 yrs old and has had a long, but inspirational journey to wellness.  Jeff discusses his struggles with facing treatment and how he needed a lot of support and motivation to work on his mental health. He shares, “I was afraid of changing in spite of hating my life." What comes after that is a recovery story that includes medication, therapy, and family support.  Some of the tools Jeff uses to help manage his OCD are “you have to name it to tame it”, “feel the pain” and “let the anxiety flood through your body."  Thank you so much to Jeff Goldman for sharing his amazing story! Jeff Goldman, Director of Development, OCD SoCal (an affiliate of the IOCDF) https://ocdsocal.org/ https://iocdf.org/ jeffgoldman.livingwithocd@gmail.com OCD Gamechangers – Annual Conference https://www.eventbrite.com/e/3rd-annual-ocd-gamechangers-tickets-82657196901 https://ocdgamechangers.com/events/ March 7 @ 10:00 am - 6:00 pm MST Denver Turnverein, 1570 N Clarkson St Denver, CO 80218 United States

Fri, January 31, 2020

Ep. 134: Giving and Receiving Meditation

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. This week’s episode was exactly what I needed and I wondered if it was what you needed too. In today’s episode, I am going to share with you my favorite self-compassion tool, giving and receiving.  This is a meditation that I learned from Christopher Germer himself. Christopher Germer is the co-founder of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion and the genius behind many of my favorite self-compassion exercises.  In today’s episode, we are going to learn the art of giving and receiving. No, not gifts. We are going to learn the art of giving and receiving self-compassion. I often use this meditation after a long day in the office or after a hard day, so I hope it helps you too.  This is the 3rd core meditation of the MSC course. Giving and Receiving Compassion builds on the previous two core meditations: Affectionate Breathing which focuses on the breath and Loving-Kindness for Ourselves which focuses on the layering of compassionate words or images onto the breath. The new element of breathing in for oneself and out for others helps the practitioner to practice compassion through connection by loving others without losing oneself. Students tend to find this meditation both easy and enjoyable. Thank you, Christopher Germer, for this wonderful meditation. Instructions for Giving and Receiving Meditation: Please sit comfortably, closing your eyes, and if you like, putting a hand over your heart or another soothing place as a reminder to bring not just awareness , but loving awareness, to your experience and to yourself. Taking a few deep, relaxing breaths, notice how your breath nourishes your body as you inhale and soothes your body as you exhale. Now, letting your breathing find its own natural rhythm, continue feeling the sensation of breathing in and breathing out. If you like, allow yourself to be gently rocked and caressed by the rhythm of your breathing. Now, focusing your attention on your in-breath, let yourself savor the sensation of breathing in, noticing how your in-breath nourishes your body, breath after breath….and then releasing your breath. As you breathe, breathing in something good for yourself…whatever you need. Perhaps a quality of warmth, kindness, compassion, or love? Just feel it, or you can use a word or image if you like. Now, shifting your focus to your out-breath, feeling your body breathe out, feeling the ease of exhalation. Please call to mind someone whom you love or someone who is struggling and needs compassion. Visualize that person clearly in your mind. Begin directing your out-breath to this person, offering the ease of breathing out. If you wish, intentionally send warmth and kindness - something good -to this person with each out-breath. Now letting go of wha

Thu, January 16, 2020

Ep. 132: Full Circle with Andrea Barber

In this beautiful episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I speak with the amazing Andrea Barber about her new book, Full Circle: From Hollywood to Real Life and Back Again . In this interview, Andrea shares her experience with anxiety, panic and mental wellness. She shares why she wrote this book and her hopes for this memoir.  In her book, Andrea Barber shares, “To fans, I’ve always been synonymous with my character, since most people don’t know me in any other role. But now, I want you to accept the real me . . . and the fact that I’m nothing like I appear on TV. To know me is to realize that I am very flawed, and I have many shortcomings and insecurities. By sharing them with you, you may recognize things in yourself, and discover that you and I are not so unalike after all. For once, it will be nice to share Andrea with the world.”  Andrea shared what it was like having a huge support system, but still feeling completely alone with her anxiety, panic and depression. Andrea spends some time talking about how her anxiety manifests in stomach related symptoms. She also tells us about the process of accepting the application of medication in her wellness journey and her experience with the side effects of medications.  I just adored when Andrea shared what she learned about herself since going through her mental health journey and her new reflection on mental illness and mental wellness. One of my favorite lines from her book, she shared “It’s actually very empowering to think about: I have the power to change my life”.  One of the coolest things about Andrea Barber is her passion for speaking about suicide prevention and awareness. You will just adore the advice she gives. And finally, her most impactful message is this: "The most important thing perspective has taught me, and what I want to tell anyone out there who has been made to feel too broken to love, is that your illness does not define you.”  Isn’t she just incredible?!    Andrea's book <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href= "https://www

Fri, January 10, 2020

Ep. 131: Does Khloe Kardashian Have OCD?

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  There has been a lot of talk lately in the OCD Community surrounding this big question “Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?” I know a lot of you are really struggling with this topic, feeling unseen, unheard and misunderstood.  In a recent episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Khloe’s mom, Kris Jenner discussed her daughter Khloe’s overwhelming need to be organized. She shared, “Khloe is the most organized, cleanest, most obsessive person I know in her own home. But lately, she’s on another level.” In response, Khloe explained: "Being the control freak that I am, this experience is torture”. However, she also has been known to explain her need to be organized as “a good thing” and something that “helps” her in her life.  This brings us to the big question: Does Khloe Kardashian have OCD?  Well, the most important thing to remember in this podcast episode is that we cannot diagnose someone we haven’t met. Please keep this in mind as we address this very important topic.  In an effort to do my due diligence, I consulted with an attorney on this and he confirmed that it is not appropriate to diagnose someone you haven’t met. He reported that this is an ethical issue, not a legal issue.  One of the big questions that arose after this recent Kardashian episode was, “Can you treat someone you haven’t diagnosed?” Again, when consulting with an attorney, we revealed that a therapist technically can in situations where it is not necessary to diagnose someone. However, in order to implement a treatment tool, it is a good standard of care to do a full assessment to be sure the treatment modality and related tools are appropriate for the person we are meeting with.  In an effort to discuss if Khloe Kardashian has OCD and if her description of symptoms and presentation of symptoms meets criteria to be OCD, we would first need to have a good understanding of what OCD is diagnostically.  In the episode, we discuss in depth the Diagnostic Criteria for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, in an effort to thoroughly educate and advocate for those who have OCD and who are struggling to ask for help.  Diagnostic Criteria (Directly from the DMS 5) A. Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both: Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2): Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress. The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by perfo

Thu, January 02, 2020

Ep. 130: You Cannot Skip the Line

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Today I talk about how "you cannot skip the line." This podcast episode is about an event that happened to me a few weeks ago that blew my mind. It pretty much punched me in the gut. Yes, you read that right. It was a hard, hard day. In this episode, I speak about attending a meditation class and being given a very hard lesson. The lesson was, “You cannot skip the line”. Let me tell you more. In this class, I asked what I thought was a simple question. Without expecting it, the teacher taught me a very important lesson that I think will impact me for quite some time.  She responded with “There is a lesson for everyone here. It is important that you do not skip the line here. You must do the work. If you haven’t wrestled with this practice over and over, do not come to me for the answers.”  I was embarrassed. I felt ashamed. I felt called out. I felt anger.  But, after some time and contemplation, I asked myself, “Is there a pattern here?” And guess what?!  There was. The lesson was that you cannot skip the line to the “know” the answer. When you “skip the line”, you prevent yourself from learning the real process. Knowing will only help for the first time or two. After that, it takes practice and patience.  In this episode, I will walk you through a 4 step process to help you lean in and do the work instead of just asking questions.  These steps include being aware that you cannot skip the line and then catching yourself when you are doing such behavior. The steps also involve being honest with yourself when you are engaging in such behavior instead of staying in the unknown. The goal is to be as patient as you can along the way. And lastly, the most important step involves Compassion, Compassion, Compassion.  I hope this helps you in some way to notice when you are “skipping the line." Si

Fri, November 29, 2019

Ep. 129: I successfully Failed 100 Times

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. In this week's podcast, I want to talk with you about how I failed 100 times this year. Wait, What?!?! Yes, you heard right! In 2019, I made the goal to fail on purpose 100 times. The goal was to set my goals so high that I was forced to fail. And guess what? I failed 100 times. I possibly failed 1000 times. I failed so many times I lost count. In this podcast, my hope is to share with you my personal experiment in changing the way that I feel and respond to the thought of failure.  Here are examples of how I failed 100 times:  •    I asked a lot of people to come on the podcast.  A lot of people said no.  I knew they would, but I figured it was worth a try.  But, do you know what I learned? I learned that a lot of people I didn’t think would say yes did.   •    I took a course that was so hard and out of my line of skills and really struggled to complete it.  •    I started playing the ukulele even though I was so afraid of being terrible at it (which I am).  •    I pitched a book to a publishing company (more on this later).  •    I said yes to being Room Mum for both of my kids (knowing I would not be the best at it). •    I aimed to increase registration for ERP School and we did it. We reached the highest registration yet.  But here is the thing. I also failed 100 times at things I never set out to fail at. I had to accept in many ways that I cannot push my body to do things that I simply could not do. This was the hardest part about failing. I had to stare my fear of failing at the easy stuff over and over again.  Here are examples of how I not only failed 100 times, but gave myself permission to fail, even though it hurt so much.  ◆    Remember that course I

Thu, November 21, 2019

Ep. 128: Are You Struggling with Gratitude? With Shala Nicely

Are you struggling with gratitude this holiday season?  If so, this episode is exactly what you might need to hear.  In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I spoke with Shala Nicely about struggling with gratitude.  Together, we address why some people might be struggling with gratitude or being grateful, especially if they are also struggling with mental health.   In this episode, Shala Nicely addresses the personal struggles she has had in the past with gratitude and some incredible tools to manage this.  Shala so beautifully articulates three common reasons why people struggle with gratitude. The first two struggles fall under the category, that Shala calls, gratitude by comparison. This often occurs when you are supposed to be doing “better” than someone else, but you do not feel very grateful. Shala explains that gratitude by comparison can fall into two separate categories: relief-induced gratitude and guilt-induced gratitude. The third common struggle is forced gratitude.  An example of this might be, “I should be grateful and I’m not. What’s wrong with me?” or, “You have everything going for you. Why can’t you just be thankful for what you have instead of focusing on the negative?”  I love that Shala addresses how forced gratitude quickly becomes what we know clinically as toxic positivity.  Some great tips if you are struggling with gratitude might be:              •  Mindfulness  • Practicing wonder, curiosity or beginners mind             • Non-Judgment              • Give yourself permission to not practice gratitude over the holidays BFRB SCHOOL is h

Fri, November 15, 2019

Ep. 127: Using ACT to Get You Unstuck with Giulia Suro, Ph.D.

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have a very special guest, Giulia Suro, Ph.D., who is going to talk to us about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and how we can use ACT tools in our everyday life. Giulia is a psychologist in private practice in the Washington, D.C. area. She is passionate about ACT and helping her clients develop a new way of looking at their thoughts and feelings. Giulia does such a beautiful job of bringing these ACT tools to us in a compassionate and articulate manner. Thank you, Giulia! In this episode, we address how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy centers on the concept of  mindfulness.  We learn that ACT is really quite unique because anyone can use the tools regardless of the struggles they are facing. Giulia discusses how fighting or resisting those struggles can impact us in the long term and we learn that ACT involves moving towards our values. We also address the core ACT tools that Giulia uses in her daily life and in her practice, such as, the Bullseye worksheet (link below).  Giulia Suro beautifully addresses the following questions with grace, care, and expertise:  What is ACT?  Why do we use ACT In everyday life?  How can it complement our recovery/wellness plan?  What tools does she use with her clients?  What tools does she personally use?  What struggles does she see some of her clients go through when practicing ACT? Giulia's Website:  www.giuliasuro.com Instagram  @drgiuliasuro Workbook: Learning To Thrive Bullseye Worksheet

Wed, November 06, 2019

Ep. 126: Sex and Anxiety

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  This topic has been a long time coming, and highly requested. This week’s podcast is all about anxiety and sex.  In this podcast, we talk about how anxiety and sex can become two peas in a pod and how anxiety can present itself in many different ways.   While I am not a sex therapist, I do have a lot of experience talking with my clients about anxiety and sex. The truth is, there are many ways anxiety shows up during sex, or sex shows up in our anxiety. This is true for many people and this can become very confusing.  People often report anxiety impacting sex in many ways.  This might include loss of arousal, loss of libido or interest in sex, intrusive thoughts during sexual intercourse, hyper-awareness of sexual-related sensations and many more.   In this week’s episode, we address the following topics             •          Social Anxiety:  In social anxiety, people are afraid of being judged by their sexual partner and will often avoid sexual interactions in fear of being judged. For people struggling with social anxiety and sex, they must accept the risk of being judged and work to find a partner who respects them and their fears.  Finding safety in a partner can help immensely.              •          Performance anxiety: This involves the fear of not being able to perform well (or perfectly) in sexual interactions.  This is very common and often involves setting realistic expectations for ourselves.               •          OCD: There are many ways that OCD can create anxiety around sexual intimacy. This is most common for those who have sexual orientation obsessions, relationship obsessions, or pedophilia obsessions              •          Panic Disorder: Symptoms of panic can often come on during all stages of intimacy, not just anticipatory anxiety               •          Trauma: Trauma is a very important component to address.  We encour

Tue, October 29, 2019

Ep. 125: How to Prevent Social Anxiety

Hello there everyone and welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. This week's episode is all about how to prevent Social Anxiety. I know that the title, “How to Prevent Social Anxiety” might sound a little fishy, but in this episode, we are going to look at some groundbreaking new research on social anxiety that might help us to understand the relationship between shyness and social phobia and how to prevent social anxiety in adolescence. In this incredible new finding, researchers found that there is a direct relationship between shyness and social anxiety in pre-adolescents. For the purpose of this episode, we will define shyness as the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness. These symptoms will increase, especially when a person is around other people and in new or unfamiliar situations. This research found that negative social self-cognitions mediate the shyness - social anxiety link, whereas, social interpretation bias does not. Social interpretation bias, by definition, is the tendency to interpret ambiguous situations in a positive or negative fashion. What does this mean in regard to how to prevent social anxiety, you may ask? Basically, if we can teach pre-teens how to interpret themselves in a more positive way, we might be able to reduce the impact of social anxiety in adulthood. This research showed that prevention should address the negative self-cognition of shy (pre-)adolescents. So examples such as the below statements might be corrected into more logical and objective statements. ◆“I am a fool” ◆“There is something wrong with me” ◆“I look like an idiot”  More Objective Statements ◆I am not for everyone ◆Just because there was silence, doesn’t mean I am incapable of being in social settings ◆It's ok that they didn’t laugh at my jokes. One person's “funny” isn’t everyone's version of funny. Link to research. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0193397318302818

Fri, October 25, 2019

Ep. 124: Emotions, Radical Acceptance and POTS

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast! Do you know what POTS is? I didn’t know either until earlier this year, and my life has not been the same ever since. Let me tell you one thing, we are NOT talking about something that holds plants and something you cook spaghetti in. This episode is all about Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, also called POTS for short. Why? Because October is Dysautonomia Awareness month and because I have recently been diagnosed with POTS. This episode is aimed at educating you about POTS and also addresses my own experience of being diagnosed with a chronic medical condition. It has been an emotional ride, and my hope is to share with you a few tools that have helped me to manage this news and the ongoing treatment that I will need to adhere to. Thank you so much for supporting me this year. Your messages and kindness has been overwhelmingly positive and I am so grateful for you all. So, what is POTS? Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) is a condition that affects circulation (blood flow). Basically, for most people, our autonomic nervous system works to control and regulate our vital bodily functions and our sympathetic nervous system, which activates the fight or flight response. However, if you have POTS you have what is called orthostatic intolerance. What this means is that when standing up from a reclining position, blood pools in the legs causing lightheadedness, fainting, and an uncomfortable, rapid increase in heartbeat. People with POTS have trouble regulating the blood vessel squeeze and heart rate response causing blood pressure to be unsteady and unstable. Each case of POTS is different. Patients may see symptoms come and go over a period of years. In my case, I have probably had it my whole adult life, but it has worsened enough to need medical attention. In most cases, with proper adjustments in diet, medications and physical activity, a person with POTS will see an improvement in quality of life. <!-- wp:pa

Wed, October 16, 2019

Ep.123:Living with Sexual Obsessions with Alegra Kastens

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast! Today I am so thrilled to introduce to you this week's guest, Alegra Kastens, MA. Alegra is not just a guest on the podcast. Alegra is also a very important part of CBT School and has helped me so much since CBT School launched in 2018. Alegra Kastens has been a huge part of the creation of this podcast, uploading it each week, creating a lot of the technological support, creating images and supporting me when I am struggling with all the projects. Alegra is now moving forward with her career and is working as a therapist who specializes in OCD. In today's discussion, Alegra told us about the first moment she had her first intrusive thought and how these impacted her life. She also shared with us the process of her finally deciding to ask for help, even though she was petrified and so ashamed. Alegra shared what she found helpful and not helpful from her therapist and how she was supported and encouraged to seek specialized OCD treatment from her therapist who did not specialize in OCD. What I loved most about this episode is that Alegra Kastens so candidly talks about her experience of shame, guilt, and stigma related to having OCD. Alegra’s main sub-type of OCD was pedophilia obsessions, which caused her to be stuck in self-doubt, self-criticism and complete panic for a very long time. Alegra Kastens shared what it was like to experience sexual obsessions such as pedophilia obsessions and what it was like to undergo Exposure and Response prevention for her OCD symptoms. Alegra shared some of the ERP exposures looked like and the importance of being given psycho-education about ERP before beginning. I loved how much education and inspiration Alegra Kastens brought to this conversation. To learn more about her story, click HERE to read an article she wrote for IntrusiveThoughts.org. For more information on Alegra Kastens, visit:

Fri, October 11, 2019

Ep. 122: My Goal For My 38th Year of Life - No More Rushing

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast. This week’s podcast was recorded from an RV on Pacific Coast Highway.  It was the last day of my birthday celebration and I rented and drove a 35-foot RV to the beach so I could celebrate my new year with my dear friends and dear family.  As I sat back, I reflected on what my biggest goal was for my 38th year.  My goal for the upcoming year is NO MORE RUSHING. That’s right!  I have made a deal with myself.  NO MORE RUSHING.  No more rushing my kids.  No more rushing my family.  No more rushing my joy. No more rushing my anxiety .  My hope for my 38th year is to slow down and really drop down into the present moment. My hope is to be present and absorb the joy that exists all around me. Since I made the goal of no more rushing, I have found that I am more aware of all of the beauty in my life and I am more present to really see the amazing people and places around me.  On this birthday weekend, we sat on the beach and just absorbed the love that we all felt for each other.  We looked up to the horizon instead of focusing on the road and the computer screens and the phones.  We connected and I didn’t rush a thing.  My hope for this podcast is to inspire you to take on the goal of NO MORE RUSHING and just see how much beauty that comes from this. OCD Awareness Week , from October 13-19, is almost here!  This year’s awareness-raising campaign is focused on sharing videos of you and your friends facing your fears.  The goal is to educate the public about the realities of living with OCD and the challenge of having to face your fears on the path to recovery. To participate, the IOCDF is asking everyone to create a video or photo of themselves doing something that makes them anxious and then to post on any and all social media platforms with the hashtags #FaceYourFear and #OCDWeek. <!-- /wp:para

Fri, October 04, 2019

Ep. 121: How to Live In the Present (Listener Question)

Do you ever wonder how to live in the present? Is this a question you ask yourself often? Or, have you already got a good mindfulness practice, but you wonder how to live in the present when it comes to intrusive thoughts, intrusive images and strong emotions and urges? If this sounds true for you, you are not alone. I, too, am constantly on a mission to figure out how to live in the present in a more authentic and mindful way. In this week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we take a CBT SCHOOL listener’s question. A wonderful member of our CBT School community reached out and asked a very important question and instead of replying personally, I thought it would benefit everyone by addressing this question with you all. Considering that I am always on a mission to solve the question of how to live in the present, I thought we could all take a look at this issue together! The listener’s question is:  "I work hard to implement mindfulness in my life, and in many ways it makes sense and helps me. But sometimes I feel like I escape when I try to live in the present moment. It's like my OCD tells me ‘wow, you have learned a new tool…great, but do you know what – if something is contaminated or dangerous it doesn't matter if you try to live in the present moment. You are just kidding yourself!  You have to take care of the problems from yesterday and you have to make sure you have a future to live in. Don't be fooled into that mindfulness stuff…’ My mind gets twisted. Do you have any thoughts that can bring some clarity?” Before we go, I want to remind you of two wonderful awareness weeks!  BFRB Awareness week is happening NOW and ends on October 7.  You can participate by attending local events, joining the conversation online, and more.  Click HERE for more information. OCD Awareness Week , from October 13-19, is almost here!  This year’s a

Fri, September 27, 2019

Ep. 120: How to Manage Perfectionism (with Monica Packer)

In today’s episode, we are talking all about how to manage Perfectionism. I am so honored to have Monica Packer on the podcast as this week’s guest, as she has such an inspirational story about how she was impacted by perfectionism and what steps she is taking each day to take her life back from Perfectionism.  This episode is jam packed with tools and strategies to demonstrate how to manage perfectionism in your life.   In this episode, Monica answered the below questions and delivered some incredible insight into how to manage perfectionism in areas I myself had never considered.   What is perfectionism and how has it impacted your life? What did perfectionism look like for you personally?  We often praise people who are “perfect."  What are your thoughts on this?  At what point in your life did you realize you were a perfectionist?  What did perfectionism look like for you personally?  How long had you experienced perfectionism?  What was your experience with overcoming perfectionism?  What advice do you have to those who experience perfectionism? Were there any roadblocks/setbacks etc to this journey for you? If you are early in the process of learning about perfectionism or you are well aware of your perfectionistic characteristics, I am sure you will benefit from this incredible interview. For more information on Monica, visit: Instagram: @aboutprogress  Facebook: @aboutprogress Website: aboutprogress.com Before we go, I

Fri, September 20, 2019

Ep. 119: Watch Your Mouth (and other kindness tips!)

This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is called “Watch your mouth” and I mean that in the kindest possible way. I know we usually hear the phrase “Watch your mouth” as a phrase of discipline and can often be shocked or intimidated by such a statement. In this episode, we talk all about the words we use in daily life.  We address how we often say things that simply are not true, or are quite unkind. Because we often unconsciously believe what we tell ourselves, we have be careful not to address ourselves in ways that are unhelpful. Take a quick look at the below examples: • “I NEVER do anything right” • “I am so BAD for having this thought” • “You ALWAYS make me anxious”  Here are a few examples of ways in which we say things that are untrue and unhelpful. When we do this, we not only feed ourselves stories that are unhelpful but we also create an environment where negativity exists. I can make the assumption that these negative statements are not helpful for you. In this episode, we hope to inspire you to “watch your mouth” carefully and take note when you are speaking in a way that might exacerbate your anxiety .  ALSO, We also have fabulous news! Exposure & Response Prevention School is BACK! ERP School was carefully created to cover the most important components of Exposure & Response Prevention. The ERP School includes the following modules:  1. The Science behind Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) 2. Identifying YOUR Obsessions and Compulsions 3. Different Approaches to Practicing Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) 1. Gradual Exposure & Response Prevention 2. Scripting and Flooding. 3. Opposite Action Skills 4. Interoceptive ERP 5. Let's Get Creative with ERP 4. Managing Uncertainty and Discomfort with Mindfulness 5. Troubleshooting Common Issues and Concerns 6. BONUS Material: OCD Sub-types and Themes <!-- /wp:paragraph --

Bonus · Mon, September 16, 2019

ERP School is BACK!

FREE TRAINING: 10 Things You Absolutely Need To Know About OCD Available September 16-20th, 2019 If you have OCD, or you know someone who does, please join us each evening at 6 pm PDT to learn about the 10 things you need to know about OCD.⁠ 🌸⁠ Things to note: ⁠ It's free! ⁠ Its offered each evening this week. ⁠ The webinar is pre-recorded and will be sent directly to your inbox. ⁠ It's FREE! ⁠ You can watch it in your PJ's⁠ If you miss the training, a replay will be sent to your inbox the following day. ⁠ Did I mention that it is free? ⁠ I LOVE YOU ALL AND HOPE YOU ENJOY IT! ⁠ https://www.cbtschool.com/10things ONLINE OCD VIDEO COURSE: ERP School  was carefully created to cover the most important components of Exposure & Response Prevention.   The ERP School includes the following modules: The Science behind Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP)  Identifying YOUR Obsessions and Compulsions  Different Approaches to Practicing Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP)  Gradual Exposure & Response Prevention Scripting and Flooding.  Opposite Action Skills  Interoceptive ERP  Let's Get Creative with ERP Managing Uncertainty and Discomfort with Mindfulness  Troubleshooting Common Issues and Concerns BONUS Material: OCD Sub-types and Themes  We like to keep the courses super affordable so that everyone gets a chance to learn the tools needed to manage anxiety, obsessions, and compulsions.  Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School is usually $197  </

Fri, September 13, 2019

Ep. 118: A Liberated Mind (with Steven Hayes)

I am honored to have Steven C. Hayes, author of  A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Towards What Matters , back on the Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. He was on Ep. 83 and is joining us again! There is nothing that makes me happier than to chat with Steven Hayes about the unbelievable work he is doing and I cannot tell you how much I adored his most recent book. In this week's podcast episode, Steven Hayes addressed how we can reach a liberated mind by improving psychological flexibility and moving away from psychological rigidity.  Not only does Hayes address these important topics using a combination of science and reason, but he also discussed how we can access a liberated mind by practicing compassion and kindness, and by seeking out our own set of values. During this conversation, we touched on some really difficult topics including suicidal ideation, immigration, global warming and other issues that impact the state of the world. Steven Hayes does such a beautiful job teaching us how we can reach be more open to our suffering and be open and flexible with other people’s suffering.  Steven Hayes also addresses how we overuse problem-solving with our emotions. He talks about how we can create our own “hero’s journey” by choosing a path that feels liberating and freeing, instead of one that is powerless and rigid.  For more information on Steven Hayes, click below: Website:   https://stevenchayes.com/ TedX:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o79_gmO5ppg To purchase his most recent book:  <a rel= "noreferrer noopener" href= "https://www.amazon.com/Liberated-Mind-Pivot-Toward-Matters-ebook/dp/B07LDSPRYM"

Thu, September 05, 2019

Ep. 117: Accepting Our Common Humanity

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.   Today we are talking all about Accepting our Common Humanity.  You may remember that Kristin Neff was on the podcast ( Ep. 87 ) and she spoke about how Common Humanity is a core component of Mindful Self-Compassion.  In that interview, Kristin Neff spoke about how we must notice that we are all in this together.  Her description of Common Humanity is that we are never alone because all humans suffer and all humans feel emotions similar to what you are feeling, although it might not have the same content and be experienced from the same source of stress. Kristen Neff also addressed how we should not compare our suffering to that of another.  When we do that, we minimize our own suffering and we reject the common humanity that we all experience. In this episode, my goal was to share with you some of the struggles I have had in accepting my own human-ness.  As I have battled multiple medical issues this year, I have had to face my common humanity over and over again.  I have had to stare my human-ness in the face, which has been both painful and freeing.  I have had to reflect many times on how I am treating myself and how to create a more self-compassionate life that involves me setting realistic expectations for myself, treating myself with love and care when I am not feeling well and being honest with myself about what I can and cannot achieve or do.    This journey of common humanity has been such a huge one for me and one that I hope brings you some awareness or hope.  I often hear listeners and members of the CBT School community talk about how hard they are on themselves and how they hold themselves to standards that are impossible and outright cruel.  If this resonates with you, this episode is for you.

Fri, August 30, 2019

Ep. 116: Managing Back to School Anxiety (with Dr. Laura Wetherill)

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Today we are thrilled to introduce Dr. Laura Wetherill who will be talking about school anxiety.  Dr Laura Wetherill is a Formal Research Scientist, turned full-time mom, who has a gift for doodling and supporting students with their studies and their mental health.  Dr. Laura Wetherill now considers herself an online educator and has so much to share with us about managing school anxiety . During the interview, we address the below questions:  What advice to you have for those who afraid of how stressful the year will be?  How can students manage comparisons (with students who are “smarter” or “more popular” etc.)? Any tips for managing time during the school year?  How can one manage the fear of failing a test or a class?  How can one manage strong feelings of dread and hate towards school?  Dr. Wetherill gathered information on how students are feeling about going back to school and learned a lot about school anxiety and fears: When asked, “How are you feeling about going back to school?” the vast majority reported fears based around friends, exams, time pressures, expectations, etc. We included them for your reference.   Friends/relationships: • Nervous about not having friends in some of my classes. • Worried about losing friends. • Worried about making friends. • Unresolved conflict with friends. • Bullying.  Exam Stress: • Many students worried about coping with stress, anxiety and the pressure around upcoming exam time. • One student is worried that she will panic in the exam room. • Students worrying that they’ve failed their exams and must go back to school with “bad” results (worried they’ve let parents, teachers and themselves down).  General stress: • Scared the year will be too stressful. • Excited for subjects but not about the stress.  Expectations/Not feeling smart enough: • Worried about not meeting entry requirements for A levels. • Worried about not being smart enough and finding it hard when everyone is competing and being compared against one another. • Worried about being unable to cope with the step up in difficulty.  Time pressure: • Not having enough time to learn everything. • Not having enough time to finish resources. • Not having enough time to revise. • Feelings of time running out. • Having to miss the first week of school and then worried about catching up with work.  Predicting Failure: • One student had failed her mocks and is worried that she will fail the real exams. • Students worried that they will fail the exams at the end of this new school year.  Feeling unp

Fri, August 23, 2019

Ep. 115: Finding Your Compassionate Voice

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today I was reflecting on what you might need to hear and it dawned on me that you might need a solid dose of compassion.  So, today we are talking about finding your compassionate voice.  In this podcast, I will lead you through a “Finding your compassionate voice” meditation, created originally by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer .  The script is below, but please note that I did change a few components to match the style of my voice and my ideas for what you needed to hear.   Finding your compassionate voice involves us bringing what we need to hear to our awareness. Examples of finding your compassionate voice might sound like:  “I love you”  “I am here for you”  “You are enough”  “You are loved”  “Everything is going to be ok”  Finding your compassionate voice is an exercise or tool that might be able to offer you a skill to increase self-compassion, self-kindness, and self-respect. Finding your Compassionate Voice Meditation Please find a posture in which your body is comfortable and will feel supported for the length of the meditation.  Then let your eyes gently close, partially or fully.  Taking a few slow, easy breaths, releasing any unnecessary tension in your body.  • If you’d like, placing a hand over your heart or another soothing place as a reminder that we’re bringing not only awareness but affectionate awareness to our breathing a

Fri, August 16, 2019

Ep. 114: Let's Talk About Our Bodies (Health At Every Size with Emily Cooper)

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  We are talking all about our bodies and addressing a very important topic called Health At Every Size in this episode.   Today, I am honored to talk to Emily Cooper, a therapist who specializes and is so knowledgeable about health at every size, body positivity, body neutrality, and privilege. In this episode, we talk about whether there is a “right type of body” or a “wrong type of body” and how society and diet culture impact us and how we see our bodies. Emily Cooper addressed why Health At Every Size is an important concept that improves self-respect and self-love.  Health At Every Size (HAES) is an inclusive movement that supports people of all sizes, weights, and body types in addressing health directly by adopting healthy behaviors.  Health At Every Size does not focus on weight as the sole indicator of health.  Being thinner does not necessarily make a person healthier or happier.  A “healthy body” aligns with more than one body type and across a wide range of weights. During this episode, Emily Cooper also addresses how our perception of our body can impact our everyday lives, specifically related to work environments, social environments, relationships, intimacy and life in general.  In her discussion about Health At Every Size,  Emily Cooper also addressed the concept of thin privilege and diet culture and how they impact our relationship with our body and other peoples’ bodies.    The goal of this podcast episode is to introduce you to the idea that you can start to respect your body today, no matter what size or shape.  Emily beautifully shared that her hope is to give us permission to not like our bodies but still learn to live our lives, not using weight or size to indicate your worth or ability to do the things you want to do.   For more information on Emily, visit: <!-- wp:paragr

Fri, August 09, 2019

Ep. 113: How To Manage Intrusive Thoughts

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.   Today we are talking about a concept that I get asked about so often.  Today we are talking all about how to manage intrusive thoughts.  So often I am asked by clients and the CBT School community questions like, “What is an intrusive thought?” and, “How do I manage intrusive thoughts from becoming mental compulsions?” and, “Why is it so hard to manage intrusive thoughts?” These are all such good questions and I can totally resonate with why it is such a difficult and confusing topic.  In today's episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I talk about why thought suppression doesn’t work and why distraction is a tool that only works for a short period of time.  In this episode, we review the practice of mindfulness in an attempt to manage intrusive thoughts and create an environment in your brain where fear and uncertainty doesn’t run the show.   A wonderful follower sent me the below question: “I have heard you talk about distraction and thought suppression. Does that mean I need to just focus on my thoughts and stay in my own head? While keeping myself busy with my job and other activities keeps me engaged and gets me out of my own head, does this count as a distraction? Also when you say distraction is bad, is it in the context of OCD or in general? I'm a bit confused, can you please provide some clarity on this.” This is such a common question that I get asked and I wanted to take this time to address a concept called “Occupation,” which is the practice of allowing thoughts WHILE you go about your day.  Occupation is a practice of taking intrusive thoughts with you while you do the things you value in life.  This is a very important concept and can help us to define how we manage intrusive thoughts and how we can reduce engaging in compulsive behaviors and mental compulsions.   I hope this episode helps give you additional tools to help manage

Fri, August 02, 2019

Ep. 112: Affordable Self-Care (with Dr. Jenn Hardy)

This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast will really change the way you look at and relate to Self-care. In this episode, we aren’t talking about luxurious, expensive and unsustainable self-care.  We are talking about affordable self-care.  And, we are talking about self-care that costs NOTHING!  If you struggle with self-care, this is the episode for you.  If you struggle to even be aware of when you need self-care, this is the episode for you.  In this episode, we talk with Psychologist Dr. Jenn Hardy about how marketing and media have made self-care into something that should look perfect, cost a lot of money and be luxurious.  Dr. Jenn Hardy brings up the wonderful point that a self-care plan that is expensive and indulgent is not sustainable and won’t fit into most people’s daily lives.  Dr. Jenn Hardy addresses a concept she coined, affordable self-care, which is taking care of your basic needs and making time each day to give your body and mind what it needs.   Here are a few examples of affordable self-care that you can include into your life in simple and easy ways.  Going pee when you need to pee Journaling  Slowing down  Taking a breath between activities  Honoring what your body needs Saying no to things  The thing I love the most about this episode is that we learn just how accessible affordable self-care is.  We all have access to affordable self-care, no matter what your income is, where you live and what you do for a living.  For more information on Dr. Jenn Hardy, visit: Instagram: @drjennhardy Website: Drjennhardy.com  Before we go, I want to share a virtual conference with you that I will

Fri, July 26, 2019

Ep. 111: My Takeaways From the 2019 IOCDF Conference

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today I am sharing my takeaways from the 2019 International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) Conference. I just got back and it was possibly one of the most wonderful experiences.  This year, the conference was in Austin, Texas, and I won't lie…it was HOT.  I was super impressed with the people from Texas, as they were so kind, cheerful and helpful. In today’s episode, I wanted to give you guys a quick peek at what I took away from the 2019 IOCDF conference this year.  The 2019 IOCDF Conference is a conference that is held annually to help provide education, support, and advocacy for those who struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder , Health Anxiety, Panic Disorder ,  Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors, Tic Disorder or Tourette's Disorder and general anxiety.  It is a wonderful opportunity for those who need extra support or want to learn the gold-standard treatment for OCD.  Not only is it an educational weekend, but it is also a weekend filled with hope, love, and unconditional acceptance.  Here is what I took away from this year’s 2019 IOCDF Conference.  First of all, you guys are so kind. I cannot tell you how overwhelmed and honored I was to meet so many of you.  Thank you to each and every one of you who came and said hi, gave me hugs, thanked me for the work I am so honored to do and for those of you who showered me with the sweetest and most thoughtful gifts.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Now, once again this year, I was honored to host the 2019 Compassion Collective support group for Self-Compassion with my dear friend Michelle Massi.  Michelle and I met each morning at the very early hour of 7 am to sit with a group of beautiful humans who are invested in being kinder and more compassionate to themselves.  It was a beautiful group and, once again, we got to peek inside their minds for an hour each morning and learn just how hard you all are on yourselves.  Wowsers, you guys.  Humans are FAR too hard on themselves.  The main message we tried to share with y’all (We were in Texas hehe) was to drop the idea of getting A+ in life and to shoot for a B-.  Be a B- human.  Give life a B- effort.  Give yourselves a little break here and there.  In addition to running the Compassion Collective group, I also had the honor of running the Women’s OCD Support Group with my dear friend, Beth Brawley.   The one big takeaway from these amazing women was to be unapologetically yourself.  As women, we need to stop apologizing for ourselves and just own the struggles and wins that we have.   <p

Thu, July 18, 2019

Ep. 110: This Compassion Practice (Tonglen Meditation for anxiety) Will Change Your Life

In today's episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, we are discussing a compassion practice that will change your life.  Today, we are talking about the Buddhist practice, Tonglen Meditation for anxiety. The ancient meditation practice of Tonglen is known as a practice of “taking and sending”. Tonglen Meditation for anxiety is a practice that is similar to everything we talk about here on Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Tonglen Meditation for anxiety reverses our usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure. Commonly, people with anxiety want to learn how to eliminate their own suffering and pronouns such as “I”, “Me” and “Mine” is the focus of their attention.   The use of Tonglen is a practice of compassion for all humans, including ourselves, that allows us to visualize taking in the pain of others with every in-breath and sending out whatever will benefit them on the out-breath.  In the process of Tonglen Meditation for anxiety , we let go of patterns of selfishness and we bring love to both ourselves and others.  We create a practice where we take care of ourselves and others. Tonglen Meditation for anxiety awakens our compassion and introduces us to a view of reality that is wider and more realistic.  Tonglen meditation for anxiety can be a formal meditation practice or can be used at any time for even brief periods of time.  Tonglen Meditation for anxiety also allows us to send compassion to all humans and see that many other humans are just like ourselves.  This Tonglen Meditation for anxiety will bring you to see that you are not alone in your suffering.  The practice is to bring love and compassion to all living beings, as everyone is suffering in one way or another.   Instead of beating ourselves up, we can use our personal struggles as a way to access common humanity (understanding what people are up against all over the world). As we breathe in the pain and suffering for all of us and breathe out love and compassion for all of us, we create a space where we can f

Fri, July 12, 2019

Ep. 109: Why We Have to Have a Conversation About Suicide (with Joe Dennis)

This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit was not an easy one to record.  No one likes to have a conversation about suicide, but we need to.   We need to have a conversation about suicide more than ever and we need to keep having these conversations until we break the stigma of suicide.   Recently, one of our dear CBT School members died by suicide and our community was heartbroken.  My heart was broken.  Even as a therapist, I cannot prepare myself enough for the conversation about suicide.   Thankfully, as we all grieve this sad loss, we are joined today by Joe Dennis to help us work through this difficult topic.  Joe Dennis is the Clinical Director of Mindful Counseling in Utah with such a wonderful kind heart.  In a flash, Joe agreed to join me for a conversation about suicide where he educated us about suicide and gave us some wonderful tools and resources for those who are struggling with thoughts of suicide.  We also discussed tools and resources for those with a loved one who has died by suicide.  Joe talked with us about why we now call it “Death by suicide” and the reasons for this terminology change.  Joe also talked about the difference between passive suicidal ideation and active suicidal ideation and how to differentiate between the two.  Joe and I talked about why we struggle to talk about Suicide and how Depression, anxiety , trauma, etc. play into suicidal ideation. Lastly, Joe talked about what is going through the mind of someone who is contemplating suicide and what tools/strategies/resources they can use when they are faced with this difficult time.  I really hope that this podcast helps you to understand and approach suicide in a way that is less stigmatized, less shamed and less frightening.   Thank you, Jo

Fri, July 05, 2019

Ep. 108: Take the Path of Most Resistance (with Dan Furlong)

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  This week we are joined by the amazing Dan Furlong.  Dan Furlong is the man behind @maleanxietydepression on Instagram and is an inspiration to many in the mental health field.   In this episode, Dan Furlong talks about his recent experience with running the Jungle Ultra in Peru through the Amazing Jungle.  Dan Furlong called it a “self-sufficient race” where he had to run for 5 days through the Amazon Jungle, 3 of which had torrential rain.   Dan Furlong talked about his struggle with anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and depression.  Dan also talked about his struggles with suicidal ideation.  Dan said many inspiring things throughout this episode, but here are a few inspirational quotes that really got me thinking.  When discussing his experiences with depression, Dan quoted, “You need to goal set your way out of depression. He talked about how he never lets himself give up and “only when you go through real pain do you find out who you are!”  As Dan ran through the Amazon Jungle and faced many death-defying cliffs and traverses, he repeated to himself, “If you get through this, you can get through anything” and he referred to his OCD recovery in this discussion also.   Dan reported only getting 2-3 hours sleep each night and how he chose to run ahead to be allowed to take the “long course” which was running up to 1.5 marathons per day.  Just so inspiring, right?!  Dan Furlong spoke extensively about his mindset during the run (and his OCD recovery) and how he has learned to “take the path of least resistance”.  Dan stated that “your brain will always talk you out of doing hard things” and because of this, he learned to “take the harder route”. To donate and help those affected by OCD, click <a href= "https://www.justgiving.com/campaign/

Fri, June 28, 2019

Ep. 107: Finding a Middle Path

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, we are talking about finding a middle path in our recovery.  This is a very important topic to me, as it is what has helped me immensely in my own anxiety management.   Finding a Middle path (or middle way) is about us seeing beyond our dualistic or black-and-white ways of thinking, behaving and being.  Finding a middle path (or way) describes our journey of seeing the middle ground between attachment (where we cling and grasp onto things being a certain way) and aversion (where we run away from things that are not the way we want them to be).  Finding a Middle Path is about stepping away from “good” and “bad” and seeing that there is no good and bad, and there is only neutral.   In this episode, we talk about embracing the dialectics of change and stillness at the same time. We addressed how finding a middle path is being independent whilst also being a part of a larger community.  It is where we embrace tension, paradox and change and discover a world that is workable in the middle, not just at the beginning or end.  One of the reasons I love this concept so much is that instead of always seeking resolution and completion and perfection, we let ourselves open and relax in the middle stages of our process.  We live in the reality of the present. The more we delve into the middle way, the more deeply we come to rest between the play of opposites.  One of the hardest parts of this Buddhist practices is learning to trust in life itself.  In this episode, we touch on this as an important part of finding a middle path.  For more information on Finding a Middle Path, read this wonderful article by Jack Kornfield: https://jackkornfield.com/finding-the-middle-way/

Thu, June 20, 2019

Ep. 106: Your Relationship with Anxiety

Dr. Sarah Sarkis Talks About Anxiety Management and Your Relationship with Anxiety Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today we have Dr. Sarah Sarkis on to talk about Your Relationship with Anxiety.   Dr. Sarah Sarkis is a psychologist, writer, and performance consultant with a private practice in Honolulu, Hawaii (though it won’t take you long to discover she’s a Boston girl at heart). Her integrated approach is big on science, low on bullshit, empowering us to achieve long-term change and growth through an eclectic blend of psychology, neurobiology, and functional medicine. Her blog, The Padded Room, is your virtual safe space to help you manage the jarring realities of life. There, you’ll find a soft landing for life’s harshest truths. You can find it at  drsarahsarkis.com .  Addressing your relationship with anxiety might be one of the most important steps you take when it comes to your anxiety management.  Dr. Sarah Sarkis beautifully shares how she approaches fear and how your relationship with anxiety can determine the degree of suffering around anxiety. She also addressed people’s conceptualization of “I cannot handle this” or “I cannot face this” when it comes to facing fears.   During this interview, we also addressed concepts around Optimum Performance and Dr. Sarkis’ experience in her practice with patients in this area.  I am sure you will agree that changing your relationship with anxiety is a game changer when it comes to your mental health, and I am so excited to share this inspiring interview with you For more information on Dr. Sarah Sarkis, visit: Website: https://drsarahsarkis.com <p

Fri, June 14, 2019

Ep. 105: My Reflection on Failing 100 Times

Do you remember podcast episode #92 where I talked about my new goal of Failing 100 times?  At the beginning of this year, I set the goal to fail 100 times in my business, personally and in my life.  The whole concept came from a podcast episode by Amy Porterfield ( EP# 247 ) where she set the goal to fail 100 times this year, not because she wanted to drop everything and mess up, but because she wanted to set goals that were so high that she was destined to “fail.”   The whole premise of failing 100 times was to reach for the stars instead of setting goals that held us back and limited us. Well, I decided that I was going to fail 100 times this year, but I was hit by a rude awakening that has completely changed the way I think about failure.  As some of you may know, I have been struggling with some pretty serious medical and emotional issues this year.  It has been a very scary and uncertain journey for me, but I have learned so much about myself.  What ended up happening was that I ended up failing in ways I wasn't even expecting and I came to see just how hard I am on myself.   I am scared to share this with you, but I have decided that it is a beautiful day to do hard things.  So, this episode is about how I am failing at 100 things that I didn’t set out to fail.  I hope you find it helpful and that it inspires you to take a close look at how you conceptualize failure.  And finally, I ask you, how are you doing at failing 100 times this year?  There are a few things I want to remind you of before we go! The annual IOCDF conference is being held in Austin, TX, from July 19-21. This national meeting focuses solely on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and related disorders. I will be one of the presenters among over 100 presentations, workshops, and seminars. There will be support groups and evening events as well. Click  HERE  for more information and

Fri, June 07, 2019

Ep. 104: Honor Your Hard Things

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today is a little different.  I was all ready to record a podcast and all of a sudden, I put that podcast episode on hold and just spoke from the heart.  I just wanted to talk directly to you and remind you to honor your hard things.  I know when things are hard and you are struggling, it feels like you have no choice but to give up, but again, always honor your hard thing. In this episode, I share about a recent “hard thing” I did with my daughter.  I shared how surprised I was by how hard it was and emphasized that we do not honor the hard things we do enough.  My goal was to address how we compare our struggles in mental health with others who do not have the same struggles.  Because of this, we don’t honor the hard things you are doing (which is a lot).   In addition, we judge ourselves for struggling and we make it hard on ourselves when things are already hard.  My hope with this episode is to help you along to honor every hard thing you do.  My hope is that it gives you a moment to celebrate the work you are doing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , Depression, Panic Disorder, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRBs) and Eating Disorders.  It is hard work and I honor your hard things.   Before we go, I want to remind you about the upcoming IOCDF conference in Austin, TX, from July 19-21. This national meeting focuses solely on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and related disorders. I will be one of the presenters among over 100 presentations, workshops, and seminars. There will be support groups and evening events as well. Click  HERE  for more information and to buy tickets.

Fri, May 31, 2019

Ep. 103: A Journey of Self-Compassion with Ethan Smith

On today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, we are talking all about a journey of self-compassion.  Yep, that’s right!  This is one special episode. This week we are joined by previous guest, Ethan Smith, the national ambassador for the charity called the International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation (IOCDF) .  Ethan talks all about his new experiences and journey of self-compassion and how he has learned a lot about himself in the past year.  Consider this Chapter 2 of Ethan's story, as he shares his struggles with taking responsibility for what goes wrong in his life and not blaming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder for his struggles.  Ethan also shares how he is learning how to cope with “bad” choices and making mistakes and how he was pushed into the practice of self-compassion when he realized he was still under the spell of internalized stigma of mental health.  This is such an important issue and one I want to focus on in the future of Your Anxiety Toolkit.   Ethan also shared his journey of self-compassion as he learns how he would internally compare and contrast the mistakes he has made before, during and after treatment. He talked about how recognizing this process has made him realize how hard he really was on himself.  I think we can all resonate with this at times and Ethan beautifully shares his vulnerable and authentic experience. Ethan addressed how he is now learning to cope with unrealistic expectations and how self-compassion has taught him to accept himself as he is.  He talked about how common humanity is a concept that he fought for so long in fear that it will make him complacent and careless.  I am sure you will learn a lot from this episode and I hope that it helps you reflect on your journey of self-compassion.  Before we go, I want to remind you about the upcoming IOCDF conference in Austin, TX, from July 19-21. This national meeting focuses solely on Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and relate

Fri, May 24, 2019

Ep. 102: Managing Sleep Anxiety

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Today, we are talking all about Managing Sleep Anxiety.   It is very common for my clients to report significant anxiety at bed time and during sleep.  They might report trouble getting to sleep, racing thoughts while trying to fall asleep, trouble staying asleep, waking up panicking, or ruminating on an event or worry.  In this episode, we are not talking about the specific medical side of sleep disturbances.  We are talking specifically about managing sleep anxiety.  Did you know that more than 40 million Americans suffer from a sleep disorder? (according to the National Institutes of Health). And, did you know that 50% of those with GAD have a sleep disorder? These statistics blew me away and made me realize I need to be addressing this issue more often.  I am sure you will agree that stress and anxiety may increase sleeping problems or make existing problems even worse.  Many will report that their sleep quality is much reduced when they are going through a difficult time in their lives.   But, the real question is, which one comes first? Sleep disorder or Anxiety Disorder? We will discuss this in this episode. In this episode, we also address sleep hygiene, caffeine intake, and the importance of exercise when it comes to managing anxiety. We also talk about the importance of reducing screen time, keeping naps to a minimum and the necessity of seeing a sleep specialist if you are really struggling.  I really hope this episode helps you manage sleep anxiety just a little better. It's a beautiful day to do hard things, CBT School community!  Before we go, I'd like to remind you about two amazing events coming up and a way for you to give back to the OCD community! International OCD Foundation 1 Million Steps 4 OCD Walk What: The IOCDF is hosting their 1 Million Steps 4 OCD Walk in Calabasas on Saturday, June 1, to increases awareness and raises funds for the IOCDF and its Local Affiliates so they can continue their mission.  I will be walking at this one!  There are many walks happening so be sure to check your area if you are interested.  When:  June 1 Where: Juan Bautista de Anza Park | Calabasas, CA Click  HERE  for more information and to register. International OCD Foundation Annual Conference What: Since 1993, the Annual OCD C

Fri, May 17, 2019

Ep. 101: How To Be Uncertain

How To Be Uncertain In the Management of OCD Welcome to this week's episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  When it comes to the management of anxiety, practicing being uncertain is the key to long-term recovery. We must face our fears and purposely not try to solve what will happen and what we would do if our fear came true.   For anyone attempting this, we can all agree that being uncertain is a very difficult skill to practice.    I have found that while my clients logically are on board with the idea of being uncertain, they still struggle with HOW to be uncertain.  Cognitively, we know the importance of uncertainty, but the actual practice of it might not be something that we are fully on board for.  Nearly every day, a client or a follower on social media ( Instagram , Facebook , Twitter ) will ask me HOW to be uncertain.  They might say, “Kimberley, I get that I have to lean into the uncertainty, but HOW do I actually be uncertain?” In today’s podcast episode, we talk all about how to be uncertain and what major roadblocks might be causing you to bypass uncertainty.   We also talk about some key mindfulness tools to help with the practice of uncertainty when managing strong obsessions and compulsions.   This is a very important concept when it comes to anxiety management, so I would love to hear your thoughts.    There are a few very exciting events coming up! The IOCDF is hosting their 1 Million Steps 4 OCD Walk in Calabasas on Saturday, June 1, to increases awareness and raises funds for the IOCDF and its Local Affiliates so they can continue their mission. I will be walking at this one! Click <a href= "https://support.iocdf.org/event/los-angeles-1-million-steps-4-ocd-walk

Fri, May 10, 2019

Ep. 100: The Mental Health Virtual Party of The Year

100th Episode Virtual Party! Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  This episode is a very special one for us.  We are celebrating out 100th Episode and we are having a VIRTUAL PARTY! At this party, we want you to celebrate this wonderful community of brave and courageous people who stand by each other as we go through hard things and we do hard things. For this virtual party, we invited some of our favorite guests and asked them to share some wisdom, a funny story or dance the night away with us.  First up, we have Ethan Smith who was on Ep. 53 (How Advocacy “Keeps Me Well”: Interview with Ethan Smith OCD Advocate) and he starts the evening off in the most glamorous way.  Sheva Rajaee who was Ep 45 (FIVE Roadblocks to Anxiety Recovery (w/ Sheva Rajaee) shares a wonderful story about Octopi and how adaptable they (and we) are.   Chris Tronsdon who was on Ep 97 (The Emotional Stages of Recovery – Rebuilding Life After OCD with Chris Tronsdon) shared a wonderful and inspiring story of having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and then led us into a fabulous dance.  Nathalie Maragoni from Ep 65 shared her love for our community and how proud she is of us all.  Shala Nicely from Ep 16 (Guilt, Shame and being “SO OCD” with CBT ROCKSTAR Shala Nicely), Ep 36 (This EASY tool Might Change Your Way of Coping with Anxiety with Shala Nicely) and Ep 78 (Tips To Help You Share Your Mental Illness With Others) Shared her words of wisdom and also has a wonderful and generous gift she is sharing with the OCD community.  Catherine DeMonte from Ep 95 (Love vs. Fear with Catherine DeMonte) shared a wonderful piece about how we must choose love over fear and allow love to lead us.  Catherine always has beautiful things to share with us.  Jon Hershfield from Ep 42 (Dispelling The Myths About Managing Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) And <a href= "https://kimberleyq

Fri, May 03, 2019

Ep. 99: Making The Choice to Embrace Panic (with Jeremy Quinlan)

Jeremy Quinlan Talks About Panic Disorder and Choosing to Embrace Panic Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today we have a very special guest.  For me, this is THE most special guest, because this week I had the honor of interviewing my husband about Making the Choice to Embrace Panic. In this episode, Jeremy tells the story of his Panic Disorder , how panic took so much from him and how he made the choice to embrace panic, instead of run from it.   I have wanted to record this episode for the longest time, but life, work, family and business always got in the way.  But, on a beautiful spring day, we both sat down while the kids were at school in our lounge room and recorded his story.   Together, we talked about the fear of flying and how this caused him to exit off many flights in a state of panic.  We also talk about his fear of driving on the highway, fear of getting on elevators, fear of getting on a train or a trolley or a taxi cab, etc.  We also got very deep into the experience of panic disorder and what it felt like to have a panic attack.  Jeremy described his specific experience of panic and how it made him fear he would hurt someone or lose control of his body.   What I loved the most was how he shared his bumpy journey to recovery.  Jeremy carefully describes what that journey with panic felt like and how he made an intentional decision to “choose life” over running from anxiety, panic, and dread.  He addressed how he came to a place where he could see that he had only two choices: choose to embrace panic or to keep running and let it take over his life.  I am so excited to share this episode with you, CBT School community.  I hope he inspires you as much as he inspires me.  

Fri, April 26, 2019

Ep. 98: Three Mindfulness Basics for Anxiety and Depression

Three Mindfulness Basics for Anxiety and Depression Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Do you ever feel like you have to go back to basics?  Maybe you feel overwhelmed with all the “tools” and strategies you need to practice to manage your anxiety , obsessions, compulsions, and emotions.   Maybe you are feeling like you need to simplify your mental health practices so that you only have a few things to manage instead of many.  If you are feeling this way, you are not alone.  I recently realized that I had to return back to some mindfulness basics and review the tools that helped me many years ago.   In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I talked about the 3 mindfulness basics for anxiety and depression that you must return to when you are struggling with anxiety, stress, life events, depression, and grief.   In this episode, we talk about how we sometimes refuse to go back to the basics because we are afraid it means we are “going backward.”  We dispel this myth and address how these 3 mindfulness basics for anxiety and depression can recharge our mental health plan and practice. If you'd like to learn more about mindfulness skills that I teach my face-to-face clients who struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), we have an online course available on CBTschool.com called Mindfulness School for OCD . Click HERE to learn more and sign up. Before we go, I want to remind you of two wonderful upcoming events!  The TLC Foundation will host their annual conference on Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors from May 2-4 in Virginia.  Click <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href= "http://email.c.kajabimail.net/c/eJw1jktuwyAURVdjJlXQ44HtMGBgtY3UcRcQ8bVJiG0BjdXdl1aqdKX7mdzjVN87Z0hUCEyCQABgDJEyOuE0CHkWMOHl_

Fri, April 19, 2019

Ep. 97: The Emotional Stages of Recovery - Rebuilding Life After OCD (with Chris Trondsen)

Chris Trondsen Talks Rebuilding Life After OCD Do you ever wonder what life will look like after OCD Treatment?  If so, this is the podcast episode for you! We are talking all about the common emotions involved with the recovery process from mental illnesses such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , Anxiety, and depression in today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Many of you have asked for more episodes about the emotional side of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Anxiety , Depression, Eating Disorders, and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s) , as well as what life is like after mental illness.    In today’s episode, we talk with Christopher Tronsden on Rebuilding Life After OCD. In this episode, Chris Tronsden talks about his childhood of “confusion” about his symptoms and thoughts and how he was claimed to be a “difficult child.”    Chris Tronsden also talks about how he moved towards isolation after being wrongly diagnosed with other mental illnesses, and resultantly survived a suicide attempt.   Chris shares the emotions he experienced after this suicide attempt and how it led him to finding the correct treatment for OCD (Exposure and Response Prevention) and moving towards Rebuilding life after OCD Treatment.  What I loved the most about Chris’ story is how beautifully he explains and articulates the process of building up the courage to perform Exposure and Response Prevention and then having to manage the painful experience of anger and loss after his OCD treatment. Chris Trondsen explains how he had to have some difficult conversations with loved ones and himself before he could turn his battle into something that was meaningful.   Chris ends the podcast episode with a beauti

Fri, April 12, 2019

Ep. 96: Religious (scrupulosity) and Moral Obsessions (with Dr. Jed Siev)

Dr. Jed Siev Talks Religious (scrupulosity) and Moral Obsessions Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today, I am so thrilled to talk with you about Religious and Moral Obsessions.  In this episode, I was honored to talk with Dr. Jed Siev.  Dr. Jed Siev is an Associate Professor in the Psychology Department at Swarthmore College and is skilled in treating Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , specifically Religious and Moral Obsessions.  Religious and Moral Obsessions are very common among OCD sufferers and I am so thrilled to share with you. I was able to take some questions from followers on Instagram ( @kimberleyquinlan ) for this episode and Jed Siev did such a great job of bringing compassion, skill, and research into the conversation.   Here are some of the questions we addressed in the interview:   What is scrupulosity?  What are the common obsessions and compulsions for Religious (scrupulosity) and Moral Obsessions?  How does Scrupulosity differ from Moral Obsessions?  What does treatment for Religious (scrupulosity) and Moral Obsessions consist of?  Does treatment for Religious and Moral Obsessions differ for different common religions?  The below questions from listeners are addressed: Is it helpful to involve a member of clergy when treating religious OCD? Is it common to question whether you are a good person or just do a good thing to prove you are a good person?  <!-

Fri, April 05, 2019

Ep. 95: Love vs. Fear with Catherine DeMonte

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have someone who is very dear to my heart: Catherine DeMonte. Over a year ago, I had the privilege of joining a women’s group called an Abundance Group, run by Marriage and Family Therapist, Catherine DeMonte. Catherine was so inspiring to me and gave me some of the tools I needed to get me inspired and motivated to create CBTschool.com. That’s right you guys! Catherine was one of the people who stood next to me as I cultivated the seed of  CBTschool.com .  For that, I am forever grateful. In Catherine DeMonte’s abundant circles, I learned how to lead with love, not fear. While this was a concept I already knew, Catherine helped me to put this into play as I created  CBTschool.com  and created a life that lined up with my values.  Catherine has such a beautiful heart and a beautiful way of speaking in a compassionate and gentle way. In this interview, she delivers tools that will help you tap into the wonderful beauty of your heart and create a life you really want. She talks about love vs. fear. Catherine talks about what it's like to lead with love vs. fear. In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, Catherine talks to us about being open to receiving love and health and compassion and support.  She shares with us some of her amazing tools that she has included in her upcoming book, Beep! Beep! Get Out Of My Way! Catherine De Monte also talks about involving deep desire to the hard work that you’re doing with Exposure and Response Prevention and she teaches us how to practice grace and gratitude as we work towards our anxiety recovery. I very much love this episode and I hope you do too. Lastly, I want to remind you about an upcoming event that I am thrilled to be speaking at: OCDeconstruct!   OCDeconstru

Fri, March 29, 2019

Ep. 94: Doing the “hard thing” is worth it! Life after OCD with Shawnté Johnson

Life after OCD with Shawnté Johnson Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast! Today, we talk about life after OCD. So often, my clients in my private practice have questions about what recovery for anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder looks like.  Clients and social media followers are often asking me what “recovery” means and how can they get there.  Understanding recovery is a crucial part of taking those first steps towards fear.   Today, I am thrilled to share with you Shawnté Johnson, an OCD advocate and blogger who not only talks the talk on recovery but walks the walk too.  Shawnté Johnson has a blog called Life After OCD and she talks so beautifully not just about life after her recovery from OCD and Anxiety, but also life before and during treatment.   In this week’s episode, Shawnté talks about how “doing hard things” is worth it and how she learned to embrace facing her fears and took on an approach where she commits to facing her fears every day.  Shawnté shares her own story and how she chose her own values over fear.  She talks about how she was “enslaved” to her OCD and how she “chose faith over fear."   What I loved so much about what she talks about is how fear was motivating much of her decisions and how she found her own form of motivation to take her life back from anxiety, fear, and panic.  Shawnté also talks about recovery being a long game and how she stays aligned with the core concept of her OCD and anxiety treatment. There is life after OCD!   You can find Shawnté at: Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/lifeafterocd/ </

Fri, March 22, 2019

Ep. 93: How to WANT Anxiety with Dr. Reid Wilson

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  You are going to LOVE this week's podcast interview with Dr. Reid Wilson.  For those who don’t know Dr. Reid Wilson, he is a world-class specialist in the area of Anxiety Disorders.  Dr. Reid Wilson is the Director of the Anxiety Disorders Treatment Center in Chapel Hill and Durham, NC, and is Adjunct Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine. Dr. Reid Wilson is the author of the amazing book for Panic Disorder, called  Don’t Panic , and the co-author of wonderful books such as  Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents ,  Stop Obsessing! and  Playing with Anxiety . Dr. Reid Wilson is a Founding Clinical Fellow of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and a Fellow of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies.  So, I am sure you are wowed already, but wait for it! This episode will blow your mind even more.   In this week’s episode, I talk with Dr. Reid Wilson about a perspective change and an attitude change from one where we do not want anxiety to one where we WANT anxiety.   I know this may seem strange, but believe me, this will change your whole game when it comes to the treatment of anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and other anxiety disorders.    In this episode, we address the following topics.  Why do we want anxiety?  What is going on in our brains when we have anxiety and when we face our fears  How to get a client to do Exposure & Response Prevent

Fri, March 15, 2019

Ep. 92: Four Massive Life Changes

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast! Want to know four massive changes I have made in my life? Well, here you go! In today’s episode, I will present to you four massive changes that I have made in my life that have changed the way I see myself, the way I spend my time and, lastly, the approach I have with perfectionism and mistakes.   If you are someone who is hard on yourself, beats yourself up for not being perfect or productive or just for existing, this episode might be really helpful for you.  If you are someone who lets fear stop you from pursuing your dreams or even doing a smaller task, this is the episode for you.    In this podcast episode, we will address time management, setting intentions and surrounding yourself with people who will inspire you and hold you accountable to your big dreams and with the hard struggles you are going through.  One of the points I am so excited about is my new plan to FAIL MORE! Yes, you heard and read correctly.  I plan to fail more this year.  More than I ever have. As Amy Porterfield says in this podcast episode , failing can get you closer to your goals.  As I also plan to aim higher and be 100% intentional as I go.   The massive changes I have made in my life have made me into a bolder, braver and more confident person.  I hope they inspire you too.      

Fri, March 08, 2019

Ep. 91: Intuitive Eating with Evelyn Tribole

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast.  This week’s podcast episode is very dear to my heart.  My intention with this podcast is to give you all some direction with food and body, specifically if you struggle with immense fear around food.  This week’s episode has the most amazing guest, Evelyn Tribole, the author of  Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works .   In this week’s interview, we break down some of the barriers between fear and food.  Evelyn does a great job at identifying why there is so much fear surrounding food, addressing societal, cultural and familial rules around food.  We discussed how, for many, food creates anxiety for us personally, or how our anxiety manifests a bad relationship with food.   Evelyn Tribole discusses :  What is Intuitive Eating?  Why is Intuitive Eating so important? What is diet culture and why is it such an important concept to understand?  What happens when you don't Intuitively Eat?  Evelyn also answers some questions given specifically by the CBT School family.  Here are a few questions she addressed: How can I introduce myself to Intuitive Eating?  What are the steps of Intuitive Eating?  How do I avoid the extremes of eating? I am either eating “too unhealthy and too healthy as a compulsion.” How do I address Emotional Eating or “bad” eating because of a hard day?  How do I attempt Intuitive Eating if I HAVE to lose weight because of health reasons?  How do I manage the fear of gaining more weight?  How do you make all foods neutral whilst also finding joy in food?  How do I not get trapped in diet culture?  How long does it take to get a good handle of Intuitive Eating?  How do I begin to desire and have the persistence to intuitively eat while having an Eating Disorder? Due to mood changes, how can I eat when I don’t want to?  What is the best way to stick with Intuitive Eating?</l

Fri, March 01, 2019

Ep. 90: You Are Not Alone (with Morgan Rondinelli and Molly Fishback)

Not Alone Notes (Morgan Rondinelli and Molly Fishback) Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. One of the most common statements I get from new clients when I meet them in my office is, “I feel so alone.”   After waiting and being so afraid to finally talk with someone about their mental illness and personal struggles, they are overwhelmed with isolation and loneliness.  The experience of feeling alone and wondering if you are the only one on this planet that is suffering in this way is a common one.   Given the stigma of mental illness, we are often shamed into keeping our mental illness and mental struggles private and suffering in the dark alone.     If you have ever felt this way, or you know someone who feels this way, you are not alone.  In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we talk with Morgan Rondinelli and Molly Fishback about their project called Not Alone Notes.  In this episode, Morgan and Molly share their own stories of feeling alone and unseen in their struggles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) .  Together, they joined hands from across the country to send personally painted and written notes to those with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s) .   My hope after today’s episode is the you begin to understand that you are not alone and there is a whole community out there who wants you to know that they are on your side.    Here is a little blurb from their website:  “The idea from this project stemmed from becoming pen pals with several friends from OCDcon. Morgan was writing back and forth with them and wanted to somehow reach out to strangers with OCD. Morgan loves snail mail because there is something special about receiving a handwritten letter, so

Fri, February 22, 2019

Ep. 89: Five Common Mistakes We Make Managing Anxiety

In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we are talking all about the 5 Mistakes We Make When Managing Anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , Depression, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s) and any other mental health struggle.  This podcast episode got me all fired up and I loved sharing with you bite-sized concepts to consider and marinate on.  My hope with this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is to help you identify the specific areas where you might be falling into the anxiety trap, and then find ways to manage anxiety more effectively and purposely.  We talk about Mindset, Mindfulness and strategic skills you can practice just about anywhere.   As a Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in the treatment of Anxiety Disorders such as Panic Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Social Anxiety, Health Anxiety, Eating Disorders and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s), I often see my clients engage in behaviors that prevent them from properly managing their anxiety.  It is common for us to get stuck in compulsive and compensatory behaviors that cause us to continue to live in fear.    In today’s podcast, I go through the 5 Common Mistakes We Make When Managing Anxiety.  Some of these points might surprise you.  Others may not.  This is not a list of the only mistakes we make.  There are lots of ways we can get stuck in the turmoil of anxiety, intrusive thoughts, sensations, panic, urges, obsessions, and compulsions. Please note, that these are 5 mistakes I make when managing anxiety also.  I don’t want anyone feeling like they are alone in this.  I make these mistakes also.  I think we all do, mostly because they are very easy traps to fall into when it comes to the management of anxiety, depression and other mental health issues.    I hope you find this helpful.  Thank you to everyone who has

Fri, February 15, 2019

Ep. 88: The Flow of Recovery

The Flow of Recovery In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we are talking all about Recovery.  Yes, we know! This can be a controversial conversation, especially when talking about recovery for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , Eating Disorders, Anxiety Disorders and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s) .   The truth is, achieving this thing called “recovery” depends mostly on your definition of recovery.  There can be a very big difference of opinion when it comes to what is considered “recovery.”   In today’s podcast, we talk all about recovery and what I like to call, “The FLOW of recovery.”  Finding your own Flow of Recovery is what I think will help you so much with the speed and ease of your recovery, not matter what your definition is.  I have seen this idea of FLOW of recovery to be a huge part of OCD and Anxiety recovery for many.    As you may know, last week we had the amazing Kristin Neff on the podcast (Ep. 87) where she shared her brilliant research and practice of Mindful Self-Compassion.   She shared about the importance of including self-compassion in our everyday lives and different compiments of self-compassion that can help us live a better life.   Some people have the faulty belief that self-compassion is for sissys.  Some hold onto the huge misconception that the practice of self-compassion will make us weak or lazy or fat or a loser.  Many of my clients have told me that they are too afraid to practice (or even consider) practicing self-compassion because it might make them snap and turn lazy and never get out of bed again.  So typical of anxiety, isn’t it?  Kristin Neff talked about the Yin and Yang of self-compassion (go to that episode to hear more).  She believes that self-compassion must include both the Yin of self-compassion, which is like a mother tenderly comforting her crying child and the Yang of self-compassion, which is the mother bear that shows up for ourselves, ferociously protecting her cubs (and us) from harm.  As we mentioned before, many of us struggle with fearing becoming too Yin, and some people do the opposite and are afraid to step into the Yang of self-compassion.  As a result, they avoid getting their needs met.  They avoid everything.  So, when we talk about “The Flow of Recovery” we are talking about using both the Yin and the Yang of self-compassion to help you FLOW.  The Flow of Recovery is moving from action to gentleness and rest.   The Flow of Recovery involves slowing down sometimes and other times the flow of recovery involves speeding up.  Sometimes, the fl

Fri, February 08, 2019

Ep. 87: Kristin Neff Talks All Things Self-Compassion

Kristin Neff Talks All Things Self-Compassion Hello there CBT School friends and family,  This week we have a SUPER exciting episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast to share with you.  If you are someone who is hard on yourself, this is THE episode for you.  If you are someone who beats yourself up, this is the episode for you.  If you need help being self-compassionate, THIS IS THE EPISODE FOR YOU!  I am so thrilled to share with you this week's podcast guest, Kristin Neff.   Kristin Neff is a pioneering self-compassion researcher, author of one of my favorite workbooks called The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, and is a wise and informative teacher of self-compassion.  Kristin Neff developed an 8-week online program that teaches self-compassion skills to those who struggle in this area.  The program, co-created with her colleague Chris Germer, affiliated with Harvard Medical School, is called  Mindful Self-Compassion .   In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, Kristin Neff addresses what self-compassion is and what it is not.  I found this to be incredibly informative, especially for those who struggle to differentiate between self-compassion and self-care.  Kristin Neff also addresses why some people struggle with practicing self-compassion, and specifically addresses the cultural and political aspects of this topic.   What I loved the most is how Kristin Neff explains whay self-compassion practices look like, feel like, and sound like.  For those who need a most literal description of self-compassion, this conversation will be right up your alley.  We also address the Yin & Yang of Self-Compassion and how we often forget the Yang component of Self-Compassion (listen to the full description).  Lastly, for those who find that their negative self-talk increases when they practice self-compassion, Kristin Neff addresses a concept called Backdrafting, and how this is a normal (and even positive) part of Self Compassion.  For more information on Kristin Neff, visit the links below: Website: https://self-compassion.org Workbook: https://self-compassion.org/mindful-self-compassion-workbook/ And lastly, please note that ERP School is available for one more week!  ERP School, our online course that teaches you all the most important components of ERP for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder , is  BACK. Act fast because it is only availabl

Fri, February 01, 2019

Ep. 86: The Science of Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)

The Science of Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.   Today we are talking about the science behind Exposure and Response Prevention.  I know a lot of you have a lot of questions about why we would ever put ourselves in a position to be MORE anxious and MOST uncertain.   But, there are many reasons why and today we are going to dive into The Science of Exposure and Response Prevention . To put it simply, we instinctually we run from fear.  We go into fight, flight and freeze when we are faced with serious, dangerous events. In emergency situations, this is the most sophisticated human response.  We are so lucky we have this response, as it keeps up alive and well.   However, in our era, we are often bombarded by THOUGHTS of serious, dangerous events and this causes our brain to make mistakes about the imminence of danger.  We experience the thought as if it were an imminent threat - right here, danger in close quarters, etc.  The problem is that we react to this thought or sensation or urge as if it IS an imminent threat.  We run away, we fight it or we freeze.   What happens when we do this is that we reinforce that the thought IS dangerous and, because we responded in this way, a cycle that is created.  Fear --> avoidance response --> fear….and the cycle continues.  So, what can we do instead of fight, flight or freeze? We can stare our fear right in the face.  We do this by performing Exposure and Response Prevention.  Exposure and Response Prevention includes changing our behavior, or response, to the original thought or obsession and exposing ourselves to our feared consequence.  Now, if you hate the idea of this, you are not alone.    In this week's podcast, we address the science behind Exposure & Response Prevention to help motivate and inform you of WHY ERP is so important and HOW it changes our brains.  If you need help with this, now is the time to act.   ERP School, our online course that teaches you all the most important components of ERP for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder , is BACK, but act fast because it is only available until February 14th, 2019!    Exposure and Response Prevention School (ERP School)  is an online course that teaches you the tools and skills I teach my clients in my office.  Let me tell you a little bit about it.    The course is a video-based course that

Fri, January 25, 2019

Ep. 85: Harm OCD with Jon Hershfield

Overcoming Harm OCD with Jon Hershfield Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  Today we have a special guest, Jon Hershfield, LMFT.  Jon has been on the show already and is a favorite among the CBT School-ers. Today, Jon and I talk about how to manage specific obsessions related to violence and physical harm.  In OCD terms, we call it Harm Obsessions or Harm OCD (if you meet the requirements for a diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD). In this episode, Jon answers some important questions such as:  Does everyone have Harm Obsessions, thoughts, impulses or images?  Why do these Harm Obsessions bother some people and not others?  What is the difference between a Harm OCD  and having thoughts about harm?  Are people with Harm OCD any different than those who have other types of OCD?  How do we treat Harm OCD?  This was such a fun episode and I really hope it helps those with harm obsessions, thoughts, images, impulses, and urges (Harm OCD). Fore more information on Jon's latest book, Overcoming Harm OCD: Mindfulness and CBT Tools for Coping with Unwanted Violent Thoughts , click HERE . For more information on Jon Hershfield, visit: Website: Ocdbaltimore.com Twitter: @cbtocd IG: @ocdbaltimore FB: @JonHershfield GOOD NEWS!……WE HAVE A HUGE SURPRISE!  On January 28th, 2019, we are offering our FREE webinar called “10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT OCD.”  This is a FREE online video course explaining exactly what OCD is, how to treat it and what complicating factors can occur during the process.    This free webinar will run daily at 6pm PST for one week ONLY.  If you are not able to attend the free webinar, no stress! There will be a free replay sent to your inbox the day after signing up. I cannot wait to share this FREE educational resource with you.   CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP!  ALSO, ERP School is COMING BACK!   Exposure and Response Prevention School is an online course that teaches you the tools

Tue, January 22, 2019

Ep. 84: How to Manage Social Anxiety (with guest, Michelle Massi, LMFT)

Michelle Massi, LMFT, Talks To Us About Managing Social Anxiety Welcome back to Your Anxiety Toolkit. After multiple suggestions and requests, we are so excited to share with you an episode that focuses entirely on managing Social Anxiety .   I am so excited to share with you the amazing, Michelle Massi (formally known as Michelle Otelsberg). Michelle Massi, LMFT, is an OCD and Anxiety Specialist who has both a private practice in Encino and Westwood and also works at the UCLA OCD Intensive Treatment Program.  Michelle works one-on-one and runs group therapy, and has a ton of experience treating Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder , TICS, Body-Focused Repetitive Behavior’s (BFRBs) and other anxiety-related disorders. In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we talk about all things Social Anxiety.  Michelle and I talk about the presentation of Social Anxiety and different symptoms that can present when ones struggles with Social Anxiety.  Michelle talks about different themes and fears related to social anxiety and how there is no one-size-fits-all approach to social anxiety presentation. Michelle and I also discuss different approaches to Social Anxiety treatment and some fun ways to practice facing your fears and tolerating the fear of judgment from others.  We discuss the use of Cognitive Therapy, Behavioral therapy, and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), as well as the use of Mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Also, please get super excited! ERP School is BACK!   Exposure and Response Prevention School is an online course that teaches you the tools and skills I teach my clients in my office.  Let me tell you a little bit about it.   The course is a video-based course that includes modules on The science behind ERP Identifying YOUR obsessions and your compulsions The different approaches and types of ERP, including gradual exposure, writing scripts, interoceptive exposures and how to get creative with ERP Mindfulness tools to help you manage anxiety, panic, and uncertainty Troubleshoot common questions and concerns BONUS 6 videos of the most common subtypes of OCD The course also includes many downloadable PDF’s and activities to help you navigate how to best apply ERP to your specific obsessions and compulsions. We are so excited to finally share ERP with you and would love to have you join us and the CBT School Community.  It's a beautiful day t

Fri, January 11, 2019

Ep. 83: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with Steven Hayes

Steven Hayes Talks Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) Welcome back to another INCREDIBLE episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast! Today we have an amazing guest, Steven Hayes. Steven Hayes is a clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Nevada.  Steven Hayes has done so much for the psychology field, writing a whopping 44 books (wow, right?!) and many research articles.  Steven Hayes also developed the evidence-based therapeutic modality that I use in my therapy office every day: Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (also known as ACT).  ACT is a wonderful compliment to Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP), as it relies heavily on Mindfulness, positive reinforcement and using Value-Based Behaviors. In this interview, Steven Hayes and I discuss what Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) involves and how we can learn to diffuse from our thoughts.  You will find this especially helpful with you have anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety , and Depression, mostly because we tend to fuse a lot with our thoughts when we struggle with these disorders.  However, the truth is, we all could learn the skill of diffusion and Steven Hayes does an amazing job of expelling why.   Steven Hayes also teaches us useful ACT tools to stay present, and the practice of living a life that is based on values, not fear or anxiety. My favorite part of the interview is where Steven Hayes discussed why our thoughts sometimes link together and how it is completely a waste of time trying to block, suppress or avoid thoughts.   I am sure you will agree that Steven Hayes is a genius and that he has so much to teach us about our brain, our psyche and how we can react batter to our thoughts. AND…..WE HAVE A HUGE SURPRISE! ERP School is BACK!   Exposure and Response Prevention School is an online course that teaches you the tools and skills I teach my clients in my office.  Let me tell you a little bit about it.   The course is a video based course that includes modules on: The science behind ERP Identifying Y

Fri, January 04, 2019

Ep. 82: Four Powerful Statements You Need

Staring Fear In The Face With Four Powerful Statements Hello there CBT School Rockstars!  Happy New Year!     In this week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I want to give you the 4 Powerful Statements you need in 2019.     Even though this is directed at you for the new year, this episode is created in hope to get you ready for any circumstance and any time in your life.     So here they are! The #1 Powerful Statement you need in 2019 is……. “There is nothing wrong with me” The #2 Powerful Statement you need in 2019 is…….“I radically accept this situation”     The #3 Powerful Statement you need in 2019 is……….“I am making the decisions around here from now on”   The #4 Powerful Statement you need in 2019 is……“It is a beautiful day to do hard things”   The whole purpose of this podcast episode is to help you move away from a life where fear makes all of your decisions and towards a life where we stare fear in the face and live the life we want to live as if fear wasn’t there at all.       We want to ask ourselves what we would do if fear never showed up and then go live that life while only bringing fear along for t

Fri, December 28, 2018

Ep. 81: "You WILL get through this!" Interview with Fashion Blogger and OCD Advocate Jemma Mrdak

"You WILL get through this!" Interview with Fashion Blogger and OCD Advocate Jemma MrDak Hello there CBT School Community!   Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.     Today, we are so excited to share with you Jemma Mrdak.     Jemma is a well-known Australian Fashion and Lifestyle Blogger and an avid Mental Health advocate.     I first heard about Jemma on social media   after she bravely came out and talked about her experience with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) on the Today show.     As soon as I saw her interview, I knew she would be such an inspiration to you all.     In this episode, Jemma talks about her struggles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , specifically checking and tapping compulsions.     Jemma talks about being so overwhelmed with anxiety that she was unable to get to school on time and fell behind in her studies.   Jemma also talks about her success with seeking treatment from a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT) and how she used her tools to help he

Thu, December 20, 2018

Ep. 80: How Practicing Self-Respect Can Lead to Self-Compassion

How Practicing Self-Respect Can Lead to Self-Compassion Hello there CBT School Family! I am so thrilled to share another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast with you.     You guys know me well enough to know that I am a huge fan and advocate for the practice of self-compassion.     I love sharing the benefits of self-compassion and helpful ways to put it into practice.   However, over the past few months, I have heard the hopelessness in some of your voices when you share with me that self-compassion just feels too hard and too triggering.     Maybe you feel like you don’t deserve to be kind to yourself, which is common in Anxiety , Depression and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , or you are afraid that practicing self-compassion will mean you lose control and become a lazy, useless bum (none of this is true, BTW).     For those of you who are struggles with self-compassion, this podcast is for you.  Today we are talking all about how practicing self-respect can lead to self-compassion.     Self-respect is all about honoring your right to be treated fairly and kindly.     It is all about not treating yourself in a way that is dis

Fri, December 14, 2018

Thrive & Survive The Holidays with Alison Seponara

How to Thrive and Survive The Holidays Happy Holidays Everyone! Well, the holiday season is here and if you’re anything like me, you’re feeling slightly overwhelmed and stressed because of all you have to do, and all of the emotions that go along with the holidays. This is a common time of the year where we can experience very high emotions such as joy, happiness and excitement, but we also experience a lot of difficult emotions such as fear, panic , depression, hopelessness, grief and loneliness. Given that this is such a universal experience during the holiday period, we thought it was a great opportunity to bring on Alison Seponara who is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Pennsylvania to talk about How to Thrive and Survive the Holidays.  This episode is particularly important if you are also managing a mental illness or other psychological stressors. It is not uncommon for anxiety and depression to worsen during the holiday period, so we wanted to be sure to bring you multiple tools to help you Thrive and Survive the Holidays. In this interview Alison and I talk about important topics that can really impact our mental wellness during the Holiday season.  In this podcast, we address the following: Grief and how the holidays can bring up grief you were not expecting Anxiety and how it is often increased due to the stress of the holiday period and the presence of triggering family members Social anxiety and how it can cause us to dread the holiday period The fear of saying no to family members and events that you don’t think are healthy for you to attend The financial struggles that go along with the holidays The overwhelming expectation to feel nothing but joy and celebration The most important point Alison and I made during this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is that YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FEEL BAD IF YOU ARE NOT ENJOYING THE HOLIDAYS.  Alison made some great points in reassuring you that it is ok and totally normal to struggle instead of feeling festive.  I hope you find this podcast helpful and you now feel ready to thrive and survive the holidays. IG:  @therapywithali FB: Alison Seponara https://www.alisonseponara.com/

Fri, December 07, 2018

Ep. 78: Tips To Help You Share Your Mental Illness With Others

Tips To Help You Share Your Mental Illness With Others Welcome back to Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast! Recently on the podcast , I shared my own personal journey of struggling (and now managing) significant anxiety, disordered eating and life stressors. It was a scary, yet brave thing for me to do and I am so glad I did.     Because I am constantly telling others that “It is a beautiful day to do hard things,” I figured I have to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.       It was such an amazing experience to hear many of your reflections and own personal stories on these difficult issues.     What surprised me was that one of the most common questions I heard from you guys (my lovely CBT School community and YAY Podcast listeners) was, “HOW do I share my story?”     So many people reached out and shared that they wish they had the courage and “know-how” to start telling others about their journey with mental illness.     Maybe you want to empower others?  Maybe you want to get it off your chest?  Maybe you want to reduce the stigma around your own disorder and mental health struggles?   So, you know what I did? I called the person I most respect when it comes to sharing her story, Sha

Fri, November 30, 2018

Ep. 77: Managing Perfectionism and Learning To Be Good Enough (with Kim Foster Carlson)

Managing Perfectionism and Learning To Be Good Enough (with Kim Foster Carlson) Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast!  This week, we talk about all things anxiety and mental health. Today, I am excited to share with you our guest, Kim Foster Carlson.  Kim Foster Carlson is an award-winning broadcast journalist in San Francisco Bay and the author of the book Good Enough: How to Overcome Fear of Failure and Perfectionism To Live Your Best Life . There is not a day in my office where I don’t see the debilitating anxiety that is caused by perfectionism.  Perfectionism can prevent us from trying new things, paralyze us when we have to perform, and can cause us to be very hard on ourselves.  In today’s podcast, Kim addressed many of the factors that might cause perfectionism, as well as some super helpful tools to manage it.  The difficult part is that we are constantly being bombarded by unrealistic expectations from our family, our social media accounts, from magazines and from our society’s expectations. In this interview, Kim and I talk about perfectionism, fear of failure, anxiety and procrastination. Kim shares her history of being an athlete and how perfectionism and the fear of failure caused her to be very hard on herself. Kim also shares her story of going to therapy and realizing that perfectionism was the cause of her anger, anxiety and poor coping strategies.  She shared how this was triggered by stressors related to parenting and she was so open about how she got through some very difficult times.  Kim details many mindfulness skills that helped her along the road to becoming a “recovered perfectionist.” One tip that I loved from today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit was Kim’s example of Steph Curry, a professional basketball player.  Kim emphasized the importance of “finding the joy” (Steph Curry’s phrase) in everything we do by practicing gratitude and by verbally tha

Fri, November 23, 2018

Ep. 76: This is me...doing a hard thing

This is me...doing a hard thing Hello there lovely CBT School Community, You all know how much I adore coming on here every week and sharing cool Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) tips or fun Mindfulness tools with you all!?  As I often say, “these are skills for life” and sometimes we have to stare the dark place of mental illness in the face before we get introduced (and practice) these wonderful tools.   Sometimes, we have to hit rock bottom before we ask for help.  We have to be struggling so much that we have no choice but to double down and learn the tools we need to live a more mindful and healthy life. This was definitely the case for me.  In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, I share with you my story with Mental Illness. I am not going to lie.  I have felt many emotions about sharing my own story.  This week’s episode is one that has challenged me to be as brave as I can be. I have been thinking about telling my own story of mental illness/health for some time and it has taken me many conversations with trusted colleagues and family members to come to a place where I felt ready.   So, today, I bravely share with you my story.  This is me….doing a hard thing. In the episode, I talk about how I moved away from my small hometown to go to university.  Immediately, I was riddled with anxiety and panic.  I felt so painfully alone and I was plagued with the repetitive thought that “something bad will happen.”  I felt out of control and I had no tools to manage these terrifying feelings.  In this episode, I share how I responded to these thoughts in the only way I knew how.   I used what some would consider very positive behaviors and use them in a way that became very problematic.   Before too long, I was restricting my food, compulsively exercising and binge-eating to manage my emotions. I spent hours planning and calculating my calorie intake and I kept it all a secret, in fear that someone would find out how much I was s

Fri, November 16, 2018

Ep. 75: Learn the Art of Feeling Good with Dr. David Burns

Dr. David Burns Helps Us Learn the Art of Feeling Good Hello!  My name is Kimberley Quinlan and welcome back to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. For those of you who are new, welcome!  Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by  CBTschool.com .   CBTschool.com  is an online resource that provides evidence-based tools and resources for those who are experiencing anxiety, depression, or other mental health struggles.  CBT is an acronym for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  CBT is made up of Cognitive Therapy and Behavioral Therapy. Today, I am so excited to share with you one of the masters in our field of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dr. David Burns.   Dr. Burns has been a legend in my mind for many years.  He wrote the book  Feeling Good , which I consider one of the most valuable books for the management of faulty and unhelpful thoughts. Dr. David Burns is an  adjunct professor  in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the  Stanford University School of Medicine .  David Burns is also the author of the best-selling books  Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy ,   The Feeling Good Handbook , When Panic Attacks , and has a new book being written called Feeling Great  (I cannot wait to read this one!).   Dr. David Burns brings Cognitive Therapy, Buddhist foundations and principals, and Behavioral Concepts into this amazing work. Dr. Burns also created and copyrighted The Burns Depression Checklist, which is a rating scale for depression that I use very often in my office. In our interview today, David Burns helps us by teaching how to better approach our faulty cognitions that cause depression.  Burns states that 50% of anxious people will be depressed

Sat, November 10, 2018

Ep. 74: I challenge you to ONE day of Non-Judgment

ONE Day Non-Judgment Challenge Hello and welcome back to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.     Today we are talking about an interesting challenge.     You see, recently I was dared to take an entire day to just listen to my body and feel my feelings and sit in peace.     I thought this was a fabulous idea so I shipped my kids and husband away for one day (I never do this BTW) What quickly arose was one thing that was taking the joy out of what could have been a lovely day.     That thing was Self-judgment.     Self-judgment is the thing that kept bringing me out of simply spending the day with myself.   “I should be doing this instead”   “You are being lazy”   “Why did you choose that activity?”   “You have to do it this way because that way is a waste of money”   “You shouldn’t be feeling this way”   “You don’t deserve this”   <p class="m-

Fri, November 02, 2018

Ep. 73: Tips To Manage Anxiety At Work

Tips To Manage Anxiety At Work   Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Today’s topic was a suggested topic be one of the members of our online FB group, CBT School Campus . One of the members asked for tips to manage anxiety at work.  This is a very important topic, as it is common for some to appear to be highly functioning, but underneath, they are riddled with anxiety and feel like they have no tools to manage their anxiety. The hard part about managing anxiety at work is that it is a practice of multi-tasking.  Not only are you fulfilling requirements of your job description, but you are also trying to manage intrusive thoughts, uncomfortable feelings and (sometimes) terrifying urges.   These are common symptoms of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) , Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , Social Anxiety, Health Anxiety (hypochondria) and Panic Disorder . So, this week we are addressing 10 tips to manage anxiety at work, school, volunteering or other activities that you might do.  Don’t get me wrong.  There are many other tools that could be used, but these are some of the ones I thought might be the most helpful. Here is a quick overview of the 10 tips to manage anxiety at work: Don’t aim for no anxiety. Accept that it will be there Don’t judge yourself for having anxiety There is nothing “wrong” with you for having anxiety. You are not “bad” for having anxiety Your worth doesn’t change because of anxiety’s presence Do a Door check (listen to the episode for more information on this) Pull your shoulders back Create a strength-based statement to get

Thu, October 25, 2018

Ep. 72: The Best FREE Mindful Tool

The Best FREE Mindful Tool Is... Clients and the CBT School community are often asking me for tools and tricks to manage anxiety .  Thankfully, we are so blessed there are so many scientifically proven tools and treatment modalities to help those with anxiety, depression, and other struggles.  However, I feel the need to bring us back to a mindful tool that we can use any time we want.   The great thing about this tool is that it is THE BEST FREE MINDFUL TOOL! That's right! It is the best, and it is free. Before we do that, I want to look at things abstractly for a second.  I promise it will make sense once I tell it so hear me out. Let’s say I want to be a great mom.  I want my daughter to think I am the freaking best mom ever. Here is the thing!  Just because I am her mother, that doesn’t automatically mean she and I will be good friends and have a great relationship.  Or, that she will even like me. To be a freaking rockstar mom, and to make a lasting impact on her heart and well-being, I am going to have to nurture her and our relationship. I am going to have to hear her pains.  I will need to sit with her when things are hard.  She will need me to hold her hand and be compassionate when she makes mistakes.  And wipe her tears when she cries.  And most of all, she will need me to not deny her of her anger and sadness and brattiness.  I am going to need to really be with her. To have a nurturing and healing relationship, I can't cheat and do it the fastest way.  She is not going to think I am an amazing mom just because I buy her the newest iPad and get her the best clothes and hire the best nanny to take care of her all the time.   Those things are great and will make her happy for the short term, but they won’t result in a good relationship with my daughter in the long term.  She won’t feel deeply loved by me and she won’t feel deeply seen. If I want to have a lasting and healthy relationship, I have to actually sit with her.  Be with her.  Not disown her because she is angry or being naughty.  I can’t just leave it to the nanny to fix her when she is sad or angry or not cleaning her room.   I can't buy her a trip to Disneyland and send her off with the nanny and expect that she will feel loved by me just because I arranged it and paid for it.   If I do that, she will understand that I will only be there when she is good, or when it is easy, and she will not feel worthy when she is having tough emotions.   Here is where the healing and growth occurs. So, here is this week’s lesson.  When it comes to your mindfulness practice, you can't cheat.  You too have to do the actual “being with.”   Our relationship with ourselves is no different.   We all want to be deeply understood.  We all want to feel

Fri, October 19, 2018

Ep. 71: How To Talk To Others About Mental Illness (with Representative Michael Schlossberg)

How To Talk To Others About Mental Illness (with Representative Michael Schlossberg) Hello there and welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast.     Today we have the final episode of the “We can do hard things” series; a series of episodes where we have inspirational and courageous guests who talk about hard and life-changing things.   I have enjoyed this series so much and hope to start it back up again early next year.     I just loved having all of the wonderful guests, who inspired me to be better and brave and more courageous.     Today we are discussing how to talk to others about mental illness.     I often get asked questions about how to share your story of having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or Eating Disorder or Panic Disorder or depression with loved ones.     If you are wondering how to talk to others about mental illness, this is the episode for you.     In this week’s episode, we have State Representative of Pennsylvania, Michael Schlossberg.     Michael Schlossberg is not only a State Representative.     He is a mental heal

Fri, October 12, 2018

Ep. 70: How To Let Go of the Past

How To Let Go of the Past This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast is my response to a question that came directly from the online Facebook group CBT School Campus .  It is based upon the following: how to let go of the past.     This question was one that the online group agreed was incredibly painful and one that was very difficult to approach.     If you aren’t familiar with CBT School Campus, go check it out.     CBT School Campus is an online group of wonderful people who support each other as they do hard things!     The group includes people who are struggling with anxiety , depression and other mental health issues.     Each member is kind, supportive and helpful.     Here is the question:   “One of my obsessive regulars is about things from the past that my mind twisted and has blown way out of pro

Fri, October 05, 2018

Ep. 69: Everything You Need To Know About Self-Compassion (Interview with Paul Gilbert)

Everything You Need To Know About Self-Compassion (Interview with Paul Gilbert) This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is going to blow your mind!  Yes!  You better believe it! If you have been thinking you should start a self-compassion practice for yourself, THIS is the episode for you.  Today we are going to discuss everything you need to know about self-compassion. This week I am so honored to talk with Paul Gilbert, Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby and Consultant Clinical Psychologist at the Derbyshire Health Care Foundation Trust. Paul Gilbert is what I consider a Self-Compassion and Shame “Guru.”  We all know shame and we all know how difficult shame can be when it comes to Anxiety Disorders, such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , Social Anxiety, Specific Phobias , Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s) , such as Trichotillomania (hair pulling) and Dermatillomania (compulsive skin picking) .  Paul shares with us his beautiful insight and understanding of the human brain and how to apply self-compassion in our daily living.  So much of what Paul has to say compliments the discussions we have had on the podcast already. Professor Gilbert performed psychopathology research for over 35 years with a special focus on shame and the treatment of shame-based difficulties. Paul Gilbert was the founder of Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) and I am certain you are going to LOVE what he has to say.  Paul Gilbert has written and edited 20 books and established the Compassionate Mind Foundation in 2006. He was awarded an OBE in March 2011. During this interview, Paul shares everything you need to know about self-compassion. Paul explains his work and research on self-compassion and how he came to practice and dev

Thu, September 27, 2018

Ep. 68: How to do HARD THINGS!

How To Do HARD THINGS...It's A Beautiful Day For It!! Welcome back to another Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast episode!  This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is all about How to do Hard Things. I know I say “Its a beautiful day to do hard things” all the time, and sometimes people message me or email and ask me, “How do I do hard things?”  Even friends and loved ones might call to ask, “Can you teach me how to do hard things?”  These hard things might be doing Exposure & Response Prevention (doing something that scares you), taking a test, going to a doctor visit, traveling long distances, feeling intense feelings such as sadness or grief, delivering a speech, experiencing pain or any other event that scares the pants off you.  :) A little note on this before we move on; Doing a Hard Thing is doing the thing that scares YOU, even if it doesn’t scare others.  If it is hard for you, it is hard.  Try not to judge yourself or compare yourself to what is hard for you vs. others. After talking with a dear, loved one this week about an upcoming “hard thing” they were preparing to do, I decided to write them a letter.  My hope was they could read it as they prepared to stare their hard thing in the face (take that hard thing!).  After sending it, I wondered if maybe you needed a similar letter. So, here we go.  Here is the letter I sent my friend.  I hope you find it helpful in understanding how to do hard things.   "Hi my love,  Here are the most important things to remember when dealing with fear, dread, and panic. Just because your brain is telling you there is "danger,” doesn't make it true or real or correct. Our brain misfires (and make mistakes) ALL the time and it is our job to help direct it back to more reasonable reactions. If we react with resistance, we keep training it to misfire. Our job is to just allow the anxiety, without reacting to it. We gently allow it to be present and allow it to rise and fall on its own. With this practice, we not only re-train our brain, but we learn that beyond this moment of discomfort is freedom. Just a few minutes beyond thi

Thu, September 20, 2018

Ep. 67: Grieving the Losses of Mental Illness

Grieving the Losses of Mental Illness Psst! This wasn't planned, but we decided to keep ERP SCHOOL open for ONE MORE DAY!  If you are still interested in purchasing the online course for Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) SCHOOL , it is available until midnight tonight (9/21/18).    It didn’t feel right to release a podcast the day after the cart was closing and risk you missing out by only one day.  So, this is the last day, I promise (for 2018).  I am so grateful to everyone who supported me and sent me information about their successes since signing up and taking the course. This week’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast is possibly one of my most favorites.  The reason for this is that this episode will give you so much validation for the pain you are going through.   In this week’s episode, we have Chrissie Hodges , a Peer Support Counselor for mental health. In this episode, Chrissie talks with us about the importance of Peer Support and how she offered her own experience of recovery as a way to help guide and lead those who are also managing Obsessive Compulsive Disorder , Depression, Anxiety and many other mental illnesses or struggles. Chrissie also addresses a topic I have been wanting to talk about for the longest time, which is life AFTER treatment.  It is such a common question I get asked.  How do we survive when life looks so different? How to get past how difficult that experience was?  What can I do to grieve the losses of mental illness? The truth is, grieving the losses of mental illness is brave and courageous work.  It requires us to honor our experiences and allow ourselves to feel some pretty hard and uncomfortable feelings.   Grieving the losses of mental illness allows us to forgive ourselves for the hard times and the time lost. This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit was quite a powerful one for me.  Chrissie got real about her own process of grieving the losses of mental illness (s

Fri, September 14, 2018

Ep. 66: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is REAL and TREATABLE!

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is REAL and TREATABLE! This podcast episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is all about the Seasons.   I have received a lot of requests to talk about changing seasons as we move from Summer to Autumn (here in the Northern Hemisphere).  It isn’t just here.  I am sure it is all around the world right now, as the seasons change from Winter to Spring for the Southern Hemisphere (Love you Australia!). There is no doubt that the seasons impact out mental health.  In this week’s podcast, I look at a few important things to consider when managing anxiety , depression, OCD and other mental health issues. First let’s look at how the change in temperature impacts us on a Medical level. Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD, is understood to be a seasonal depression, affecting 5% of the population of US residents.  Yes!  It’s that high.  If you are someone who is highly impacted by the temperature changes, you are definitely not alone.  Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can be treated with light therapy, outdoor activity and medication.  Seasonal Affective Disorder isn’t just due to changes in seasons.  It often occurs when daylight saving times changes and we “fall back," meaning we have less light during the day.  When days get shorter, we have less time to get outdoors and move our bodies and soak up that glorious sunlight, which is linked to Seasonal Affective Disorder symptoms. We also know that colder weather can affect our circadian rhythms, causing us to have more depressive symptoms.  When we are tired, we have less energy, causing us to feel down or sad or, in some cases, depressed. We also know that the season changes impact us on a Psychological level.   We can also see changes in our thoughts. Negative thoughts can create depressive symptoms such as hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness.  Our job is to correct any negative or faulty thoughts so we are not so impacted by the weather or time changes.   We can also be more mindful when these thoughts ari

Thu, September 06, 2018

Ep. 65: ERP Is the Coolest Thing!

ERP Is the Coolest Thing! If you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or any other mental health struggle, you are going to LOVE this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.   This week we have Nathalie Maragoni , an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist who not only treats Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and other anxiety disorders , but also knows exactly what it is like the experience the terror of intrusive thoughts, panic attacks and brutal compulsions.   She said it best herself: “ERP is the coolest thing!” In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, Nathalie talks with us about how she struggles finding the correct therapy for her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and how she drove for over 1.5 hours to get a treatment specialist who used Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP).  Nathalie also talks about her struggle with different types of obsessions and compulsions.   She says, “Willingness is the key to managing OCD” and she could not be more correct about this.  We just loved how she shared her love for Exposure & Response Prevention and how “ERP is the coolest thing!” Nathalie shares the importance of continuing ERP after treatment. She found that getting the proper treatment alone (ERP) was not enough to help her live a full and thriving life with OCD.  She discusses the importance of applying Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and how this helps her live a value-based life where she can just allow thoughts to be there, instead of fusing with them.  For more information about Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, click HERE .   Nathalie talks about how she is using the book  The Happiness Trap to help her understand that “Every experience comes with a good feeling and a bad feeling.” In other news, Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) school is HERE .  Exposure and Response Prevention School is an online course that teaches you the tools and skills I teach my clients in my office.  Just like Nathalie says, ERP is the coolest thing! Let me tell you a little bit about it.   The course is a video-based course that includes modules on: The science behind ERP Identifying YOUR obsessions and your compulsions The different approaches and types of ERP, including gradual exposure, writing scripts, interoceptive exposures and how to get creative with ERP Mindfulness tools to help you manage anxiety, panic and uncertainty Troubleshooting common questions and concerns BONUS videos explaining the most common subtypes of OCD and how to apply ERP to these obsessions and compulsions.

Thu, August 30, 2018

Ep. 64: Don't Try Harder, Try Different with Patrick McGrath

Don't Try Harder, Try Different with Patrick McGrath Welcome back to YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST! We have some SUPER exciting news this week.   We are offering a NEW and FREE training called “The 10 Things you absolutely need to know about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).”  This webinar will be great if you are new to OCD and looking for some direction.  It will also be a fantastic refresher into the key concepts of OCD treatment, if you are already on your road to recovery.   If you are interested, click HERE to check it out. Next piece of exciting news! ERP school will be here in less than ONE WEEK!  Heck yes!!   Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) School is an online course for those who don’t have access to a therapist who practices ERP and science-based skills for OCD.  I will be talking a lot about this in the next few weeks, as the doors are only open to purchase ERP School from September 6 th , 2018 until September 20 th , 2018.   Keep it in mind that this course will only be available to purchase during that time.    ONE WEEK!!  It is right around the corner and I could not be happier and more excited. Do you ever feel like you are doing the same thing, over and over, with no change in result?  You realize your fruitless outcomes and you decide you are going to try harder this time.   You might even make a pact with yourself that you will NEVER do that one thing again and you promise yourself that this is the time it will be successful. But, just like last time, you get the same result and you are left feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.   Well, if this is you, this episode is going to change some things for you. This week we have a wonderful interview with Patrick McGrath, Ph.D., who is a psychologist based out of Illinois specializing in the treatment of anxiety disorders.  In addition to being the president of a private practice group called Anxiety Centers of Illinois, Patrick McGrath is also the Clinical Director of the AMITA Health Alexian Brothers Behavioral Health Hospital's Center for Anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Program and President of OCD-Midwest, an affiliate of the

Sat, August 25, 2018

Ep. 63: Addressing Fear Like A Scientist

Addressing Fear Like A Scientist In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, we talk about Addressing Fear like Scientists.  Not the scary white haired kind!  In this week's episode, we talk about becoming scientists who run studies that are rational, evidence-based, and experienced-based.  Each time we have a thought, we have an opportunity to be a scientist.  Don’t worry about those white coats.  You don’t need them for these experiments.  And you don’t need to have a fully fledged scientist degree either. The human brain has up to 70,000 thoughts per day.   That is a LOT of thoughts.  When it comes to managing anxiety , much of the work is being able to identify which thoughts that are distorted (or errors) and which are not, so we can respond skillfully and mindfully.  This is not an easy feat and takes ongoing work and courage. The other day, I started thinking about all the lovely people who are being tormented by scary intrusive thoughts, unwanted emotions, and sensations that make them think and feel like there is something wrong with them.   Sometimes these intrusive thoughts make us believe that something bad will happen, or that terror is on its way.  Often when we have these unwanted, intrusive thoughts, we go into a pattern of trying to disprove these possibilities.  We start to shift our day, just to prove that this is in no way possible.  We try to make the uncertain, certain. The problem with this is that we are not actually resolving the issues in REALITY.  What we do when we have these obsessions is we create a new reality where the fear is less likely to occur.  We do this by avoiding events or people or places. We also try to ensure that our fear won't come true by mentally reviewing all of the possible scenarios and how they might play out.  Once we have mentally exhausted ourselves with identifying what specific scenarios might cause troublesome outcomes, we promise ourselves to never put ourselves in those situations. How To Address Fear Like A Scientist Addressing Fear like a scientist involves asking yourself a few very hard questions.  Take a look at these questions and do a quick review on how you are responding to your anxiety and depression. What hypothesis (theory) is my depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) trying to prove? Is this hypothesis true and based in reality and reason? Can I test the evidence in a non-biased way? Can I look at it from every angle without running away from fear? Or trying to solve it? Or steer the outcomes? Can I sit with the results of the experiment? Am I spending my time trying to prove my hypothesis or am I open to actually doing the work

Thu, August 16, 2018

Ep. 62: The Anxiety of Decision Making

The Anxiety of Decision Making Is REAL and EXHAUSTING! Experiencing and managing anxiety is a hard and courageous task.  And you guys know what I am going to say next.  It is a beautiful day to do hard things! One activity that is made difficult by anxiety is the process of making decisions.    Making decisions can be exhausting and brings up a lot for us. When making decisions, we might be faced with anxiety about making the “right” decision.  We might also be faced with the anxiety of making the decision that won't hurt others or impact others negatively.  We might also be faced with anxiety that our decision will cause us to miss out on something better or more beneficial to our long term goals.  This constitutes the anxiety of decision making. Basically, making decisions is the ULTIMATE exposure to uncertainty and tolerating discomfort.  There is no way to make a decision without acknowledging and facing uncertainty.  Here is a teaser from the episode.  Even when you put the decision making aside, you are actually making a decision.  Not making a decision is technically making a decision you didn’t even know existed. This weeks podcast is all about The Anxiety of Decision Making.  We go over some of the themes that come up surrounding decision making such as Hyper-responsibility, Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) and Perfectionism. We also talk about how we must embrace uncertainty in our lives and accept that life doesn’t need to be perfect.  This can be easier said than done, so we discuss some important mindfulness tools which can help us manage perfectionism, hyper-responsibility and Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) when it comes to decision making. We hope you enjoy this week's podcast episode or Your Anxiety Toolkit. Also guys, we are excited to share that ERP SCHOOL is going to be released VERY soon, so keep your eyes out. CBT School is also excited to share that our lovely friend Stuart Ralph is offering The OCD Summit, an online summit specifically for OCD therapists.  The OCD Summit will be a 6-week webinar series where Stuart Ralph, host of The OCD Stories podcast, will interview some in

Thu, August 09, 2018

Ep. 61: “Trust your capacity to change” - Tara Brach Interview

“Trust your capacity to change” - Tara Brach Interview I am thrilled and honored to share with you an interview I did with my absolute idol, Tara Brach.  If you don’t know who Tara Brach is, let me introduce to you an amazing and inspirational human. Tara Brach is a leading Western teacher of Buddhist Meditation, emotional healing and spiritual awakening.  Tara is a Clinical Psychologist, meditation teacher and Author of Radical Acceptance  and True Refuge , two of my favorite books.   In addition, Tara Brach, along side Jack Kornfield, co-founded the Awareness Training Institute (ATI) and the Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program (MMTCP) . For me, Tara’s podcast ( tarabrach.com ) was (and is) one of the most important parts of my own personal development and growth.  For hours I would (and still do) walk the neighborhood while listening to her podcast.  Tara helped me through some of the hardest times in my life and allowed me to access her tools and wisdom through a freely offered podcast and streaming service that inspired me to create CBTschool.com .  Tara taught me to be a fearless mental health advocate, so you may see that much of CBT School follows her goal of offering skillful and generous work. While I was in Washington, DC for the International OCD Foundation conference , I was lucky enough to meet with Tara in person before her Wednesdays with Tara Meditation Talk and ask her some questions about anxiety and mindfulness.  I am still freaking out with excitement that I had the opportunity to meet her in person and then get to interview her for the Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. My goal for this podcast episode was to zero in to the questions I often get asked and see what Tara’s response would be.  True to form, Tara gives us some BEAUTIFUL responses that are easy to understand and apply. In this interview, we talk specifically about how uncertainty can be one of the hardest and most challenging parts of anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , panic attacks and depression.  Tara gives some amazing mindfulness tools to help us approach uncertainty. We also talked about her book, Radical Acceptance and what some of the road blocks are to radically accepting our discomfo

Thu, August 02, 2018

Ep. 60: My IOCDF Conference Key Takeaways

My IOCDF Conference Key Takeaways One of the biggest honors I have as a therapist who treats anxiety disorders is to present at the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) annual conference.  I just adore these conferences, mostly because they provide a mix of both treatment presentations and support groups for those who struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and for therapist who provide evidence based treatment for those who have OCD.   Another amazing thing about these conferences is that they also provide support groups and presentations on Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s) such as Trichotillomania (Hail Pulling) and Excoriation Disorder (Skin Picking) and Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and also co-occuring Eating Disorders and Substance Abuse. In this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I wanted to share with you some of my reflections from running several support groups and attending some amazing presentations by some of the top treatment providers in the world.   The IOCDF.org put on such an amazing event and I have to admit, this one was by far my favorite. At this years conference, I was honored to co-facilitate a new support group called the Compassion Collective with a dear friend and colleague, Michelle Massi.  Michelle and I gathered every morning at 7AM (yes, it was VERY early) to meet with attendees who wanted support with self-compassion.  Each morning we provided a new compassion tool to help those who are struggling with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) .  This was such an beautiful experience, as we got to really see inside the minds of the attendees and hear what is getting the way of them practicing self-compassion.  Interestingly, perfectionism and fear of failure were two of the key components or self-compassion sabotage (which I speak a lot about in this weeks podcast episode). I was also honored to be a part of a presentation called “Le

Fri, July 27, 2018

Ep. 59: “You are right where you need to be” with Cami Julaine

“You are right where you need to be” with Cami Julaine Well folks! Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit.  Today, we have another amazing guest interview as a part of our “We can do hard things” series.    I am so excited to share with you an amazing interview with Cami Julaine, an avid mental health advocate, blogger, singer, actor and all-around wonderful person.    In this week's episode, Cami shares her journey through Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, an Eating Disorder, Trichotillomania, Panic Attacks and Trauma. One of the things I love the most about Cami is that she is so authentic and open.  I know we all struggle with finding the motivation to keep moving forward sometimes, as managing Anxiety Disorders such as Panic Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Social Anxiety, Phobias, Health Anxiety can be very difficult.  Cami shares with us a inspiring story of how she went from rock bottom to taking bold steps towards her recovery.  Cami shares her story of being supported by family members and close friends (ahem, Paula Abdul) who urged her to get help. This is an incredibly interesting and informative interview, as Cami shares how she had to blend many types of tools (and therapy) to get her to where she is today.   Cami shares some wonderful mindfulness tools to help manage Panic Disorder and Panic Attacks.  You will really love these tools, as they are very similar to ones we have discussed in previous episodes of Your Anxiety Toolkit, with a little Cami Juliane-twist. :)   Cami also talks about her experience with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Finally, Cami shares with us how she has integrated spirituality with her recovery and how she practices self-care and self-compassion as a part of that practice.  This is a topic that I have’t touched upon much at all and I am sure you will find it inspirational and validating. You can find Cami Julaine on Instagram @camijulaine  and more information on her website here . One thing before we say goodbye.  GET READY..

Thu, July 19, 2018

Ep. 58: How To Be Anxious AND Have Courage At The Same Time

You Can Be Anxious AND Have Courage! Courage.  Where do we find it? How do we get it? And, once we get it, how do we keep it? In this era, being courageous or brave comes with great expectations.   Men are expected to show their “brave face” ALL the time, or they run the risk of being called a “sissy.”   That is a lot of pressure!  Women (and many times men too) are expected to multi-task multiple difficult things at once, but also must look pretty and be smiling while doing it. But, to top it all off, we humans (men, women and children) with anxiety are often expected to meet all of the above criteria AND keep our anxiety to ourselves.  Where did we get this from?! I cannot tell you how many times I have heard stories about family members or partners or parents who have told someone struggling with anxiety or depression (or another mental health struggle) to “be braver” or “toughen up” or “you gotta be stronger through this.”  While I do understand what they are trying to convey, today’s podcast episode is all about approaching courage and bravery with a new (more reasonable) perspective. You see, I like to think of bravery and courage as something you can experience WITH anxiety.  I actually think they go beautifully together.  We can feel dreadful fear AND be courageous.  We can feel overwhelming sadness AND be strong.   What we have been told about bravery and courage is all off.  It limits us and makes us feel like we must not try things until we have no fear and we can “hold it together.” I like to believe that the person who decided to go to the party, despite their tremendous social anxiety , is the brave one.   I believe that the person who does that really hard thing (even if it happens to be easy for other people) is the courageous one.   I believe the one who has a tear running down their face as they face their fear is a brave rock star! I hope you enjoy this podcast episode and begin to challenge your view of what bravery and courage looks like.  As always, thank you for supporting me with this podcast and with CBT School's online courses. Enjoy!

Fri, July 13, 2018

Ep. 57: Mindfulness Skills to Enhance Value-Based Living

Value-Based Living   Hello there CBT School Family Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. As you may know, each week I do my best to bring you a new tool or idea for you to put in your toolkit, in hope that it will give you some skills to manage anxiety, panic and other difficult thoughts, feelings and sensations. I always envision that I am slowly handing you one tool after another and that you are carefully packing those tools into your toolkit or tool belt, so that you feel ready to face your day, with or without anxiety. This week, I want to discuss with you your metaphorical toolkit; the box or belt in which you hold dear to your heart and use daily to help you live your best life.   The most important thing to understand in today’s podcast is that carrying a tool belt/toolbox/toolkit is a choice.  Every week, you freely join me for a weekly discussion about recovery and living a great life, while having anxiety.   You don’t have to carry your toolkit and all the tools around.  Many choose not to carry a tool belt or any tools.  But you, you do.  It’s pretty cool if you ask me. You see, the tools your put in your toolkit are your mindfulness skills.   Your toolkit, the place you hold these tools, is your values.  If you are on a mission to be a better human, you obviously value your wellbeing.  It is a value that you stand by.  You value your recovery.  You value your quality of life.  Using these tools of yours contributes to value-based living. Values are very important to our recovery.  The only problem is, that sometimes fear can come in and stomp all over our values.  Sometimes fear can lead us away from our values and away from our toolkit.  Sometimes fear can lead us towards other problematic behaviors, such as compulsions including checking, counting, avoidance, reassurance seeking and mental rumination.  Fear can also lead us towards anger and saying mean things to ourselves. Today, we talk about identifying our values and ways to use the tools you have to help you lead with values.  We use concepts from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, also knows as ACT.  ACT is a very helpful treatment modality that beautifully compliments Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP). I hope you find it helpful! Forward we go, Kimberley

Thu, July 05, 2018

Ep. 56: Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave (Interview with Sharon Selby)

Surfing the Worry Imp's Wave In this week's episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I had the pleasure of talking to Sharon Selby, Marriage and Family Therapist and Author.  Sharon has written an amazing children’s book called Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave and this book is simply amazing. Before you turn away thinking, “This doesn’t apply to me.  This is about kids stuff!”, wait up!  Since reading Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave, I have been using these techniques with some of my adult clients and they LOVE them too.   This episode brings some helpful tools and tricks to manage anxiety and perfectionism (at any age). Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave is a science-based book using the same mindfulness tools and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) tools I use with some of my clients and members of the CBT School Campus with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Panic Disorder, Health Anxiety, Social Anxiety and Phobias. During the episode, Sharon discusses her inspiration behind the book, her work with young children who have anxiety and what tools she has found to be super helpful.  As I mentioned about, I have found that these tools are helpful for us BIG kids too (adults).   Sharon also tells us about some of the games involved in the books and some helpful tools to manage fear, perfectionism, separation anxiety, and panic. You guys know how much I LOVE a good story or metaphor, and there are plenty in this book.  Here is one I want you to think about.  In the book, Sharon talks about how our brains need to make mistakes to grow.  If we make a mistake, it is like water on a plant.  Mistakes help our brains grow into smarter and kinder people.  I just adore this part of the book and it is something I have implemented with my young (and old) clients (and me too!).   When I make as mistake, I now close my eyes and imagine my brain neurons growing and thriving. This is just one of the wonderful tools that Sharon talks about. I cannot wait for you to listen to this week's podcast, a

Thu, June 28, 2018

Ep. 55: Thought Suppression Never Works

 Thought Suppression Doesn't Work!!   You may have heard it multiple times, but consider this a little reminder. THOUGHT SUPPRESSION NEVER WORKS!  This short but hefty statement is considered one of the golden rules when it comes to the management of anxiety disorders, specifically Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) , Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety , Healthy Anxiety and Phobias. However, the truth is, we all attempt to make our “bad” or anxiety-provoking thoughts away.  We try to push them down so they won't hurt us anymore.   We try to make them go away, so we don’t have to feel the related shame, guilt, irritation, and annoyance of these thoughts.    Does this sound anything like you?  Let me tell you, you are in the right place. You see, this is a very common reaction to intrusive, anxiety-producing thoughts.  For those with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) , Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Health Anxiety (hypochondria), Social Anxiety, Panic Disorder or Specific Phobias, thought suppression can be involuntary and we often do not even know we are doing it.   Intuitively, our brains will fight or run away from almost anything that creates discomfort for us.  We are biologically set up for fight, flight or freeze. In today’s episode, we talk about why thought suppression never works.  We talk about how thought suppression can actually increase our anxiety over time and how thought suppression teaches us to intuitively judge our thoughts as bad. If this sounds counter-intuitive to you, you are not alone.  My clients and the members of the CBT School Campus are commonly asking some pretty great questions about this, so I wondered if this was a topic that might benefit you.

Fri, June 22, 2018

Ep. 54: Anxiety Is So Exhausting! Tips To Manage Anxiety-Related Exhaustion

Anxiety-Related Exhaustion is NO JOKE! One of the most common struggles I hear from my clients and the members of the CBT School Campus is how EXHAUSTING anxiety and depression can be .   If you are barraged daily by exhaustion resulting from Anxiety (or any other mental health issue), you are NOT ALONE!  Experiencing Anxiety is a full-time job.  No one can argue with that.    Anxiety can drain us of our physical energy, our emotional energy and can cause us to have nothing left to give at the end of the day. It can make us too tired to be social and make us want to sleep the day away.   Anxiety-Related Exhaustion can make us feel alone and like there is no hope for us. If this is you, this is the episode for you. Because you know what?!  There IS hope for US! In this podcast, we talk about some mindfulness tools to manage anxiety-related exhaustion.  We talk about learning to observe your thoughts and correct them to thoughts that are more helpful and less draining. We also address a few very important mindset shifts you may need to make.  You see, when we are overwhelmed with tiredness and anxiety-related exhaustion, we often will begin to feel hopeless and start to believe that there is no end in sight.  Everyone tells us, "Just keep going", but we can sometimes feel like we barely have the energy or faith that we need to "just keep going".   In this episode, we talk about specific mindset tools that I use with my clients who struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Anxiety, Depression and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB's). And last of all, I use one of my favorite metaphors for managing Anxiety-Related Exhaustion.  You guys know me! I love to use silly metaphors.  That being said, I really believe in it and it works.  I promise you that it will make you take better care of yourself if you put it in place and prioritize it. Please don't hesitate to let me know what you think and if this is helpful. Also, if you listen on iTunes, please do leave a review.  Good reviews help me reach more people and help me get the really important (and inspirational) people on the show. Forward we go, Kimberley

Thu, June 14, 2018

Ep. 53: How Advocacy "Keeps Me Well": Interview with Ethan Smith OCD Advocate.

How Advocacy "Keeps Me Well": Interview with Ethan Smith OCD Advocate Do you ever wish you had someone to inspire you and give you hope about your recovery?  Maybe you wish there was a story about OCD or anxiety or mental health that looks similar to yours and you wish you knew how the story turns out? Well, today I give you Ethan Smith OCD Advocate. Ethan Smith (OCD Advocate) was the keynote speaker at the 2014 Annual International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ( IOCDF.org ) Conference, the International OCD Foundation National Ambassador, a writer, director, producer and OCD Advocate. Amongst these incredible talents and accolades, Ethan is hilarious and kind and VERY informed about the ins and outs of OCD and the treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) .  During this interview, Ethan talks about his struggles to find correct therapy, his experience with finding evidence-based treatment such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). Ethan also opens up about his draw towards advocacy work, stating that advocacy "keeps him well" and how being honest and open is considered advocacy work.  I think we often feel that we have to write a book or start a campaign or a fundraiser to be mental health advocates, but Ethan shares his belief that we ultimately just have to share our story and use our story to help others not feel alone. One of the things I love the most about Ethan is his ability to express compassion and humor in the same sentence.  Discussions around Mental Health can feel very heavy, and Ethan has a way of making light of a very heavy topic. Thank you, Ethan, for all that you do. If you feel like sharing your mental health struggles with others is too big of a step right now, consider joining our Facebook Group, CBT School Campus.  This group is filled with brave, supportive and compassionate people and was created so you could feel support and connected to others who are working tirelessly on their mental health in a safe and supportive platform.   Click here to be taken to the FB group. Click here for Ethan's  Keynote Speaker Video DO YOU WANT TO REALLY IMPROVE ON YOUR MINDFULNESS SKILLS FOR OCD?  CHECK OUT CBT SCHOOL'S ONLINE COURSE, MINDFULNESS FOR OCD .

Fri, June 08, 2018

Ep. 52: Are You Superhuman or Human?

Are you Superhuman or Human? It's an interesting question, isn't it? Are you a Superhuman or Human?  I think in order to answer this question, we need to address how we perceive a superhuman and how we view ourselves, as humans.  We need to address how we "rate" ourselves as a whole. You see, sometimes society and our community will send us the message that those of us who struggle with anxiety or depression (or with a mental health issue) are humans that are missing something. In some circles, us anxious humans get seen as being "less than" or weak because we struggle. Most media outlets portray superhuman as those who have beyond average muscles and their stories usually end in glory and power and victory. Let me pose a new idea for you.  Maybe it isn't a new idea to you, but I am guessing it is an idea that you need to be reminded of. I don't believe for one teeny tiny microsecond that those who experience anxiety are "less than" humans. I don't for a second believe that those who have mental health struggles are "weak". Let me tell you a little fact.  The definition of superhuman is "having or showing exceptional ability or power". Handling Anxiety and Depression or any other mental health issue takes exceptional abilities and a LOT of power and strength. Let's take a look here.  If being superhuman requires you to have an exceptional ability, I would be very comfortable saying that managing anxiety classifies as an "exceptional ability".  Do you agree?  I think that if anyone knew just how hard you were working, they too would say that managing anxiety and depression (or other mental health issues) is superhuman.   We don't give ourselves enough credit.  This podcast is all about how much of a SUPERHUMAN YOU ARE! Click HERE For Online Course for OCD

Fri, June 01, 2018

Ep. 51: Is Fred In The Refrigerator? Interview w/ Shala Nicely

Is Fred In The Refridgerator? Interview with Shala Nicely Well, this episode is one of my favorites.  Do I say that every week (hehe)?  But this week I am not joking! In today's episode, I have the honor of interviewing the AMAZING Shala Nicely.  Shala has written the most amazing, Is Fred In The Refridgerator?: Taming OCD and Reclaiming My Life.  If you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) or Depression or another mental health struggle, Shala has written THE book for you. In the book, Is Fred in the Refridgerator, Shala talks about her recovery with OCD, BDD, depression, substance abuse and much more.   The book is an amazing and fun read, but also walks us through her struggles to find correct therapy for OCD, the rules her OCD held her to and the key components of her mental health recovery. Why is this one of my favorite episodes? Well, Shala walks the walk and talks the talk and she gets very vulnerable and transparent about her struggles with OCD.  I love anyone who shares their truth, and Shala did just that.  It was truly inspiring and my heart pretty much exploded during the recording of this episode. I asked Shala a lot of really deep questions and she was so honest and open with us, and for that, I am so grateful.   I hope you enjoy this book as much as I did.  See the link below toget your hands on Is Fred In The Refridgerator? Links: BUY IT ON AMAZON: Is Fred In The Refridgerator shalanicely.com   If you missed last weeks episode 50 5 Lessons Learned from Hosting Your Anxiety Toolkit Thank you again for supporting me with this podcast and with CBT Schools online courses.  Please click here to find out more about  Mindfulness School for OCD .

Fri, May 25, 2018

Ep. 50: FIVE Lessons Learned From Hosting This Podcast

FIVE LESSONS LEARNED FROM HOSTING THIS PODCAST  Today is a special day.  Today I share the FIVE LESSONS LEARNED FROM HOSTING THIS PODCAST!  Today marks the 50 th episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.   I get a little sentimental during this one, but please stick with me. Let me start by saying that I am so grateful for reaching 50 episodes.   When I started this podcast, in my pjs in my kitchen with my sleeping baby next to me as I recorded my first episode, never in my wildest dreams could imagine what it would become.   From this podcast came CBTSchool.com, and from CBT school came a community that I could never have imagined. So Today, on this 50 th episode, I celebrate YOU!     And, today I want to talk to you about what I have learned and a few of my favorite quotes that I live by (and I promise this will apply to you). In this episode, I share 5 lessons learned by hosting this podcast and I have lived by as I hosted this podcast.  I have to be honest.  I have learned SO much and I cannot wait to share the lessons with you.  I won't pretend it has all been easy.  It hasn't.  There was a couple of time that this podcast nearly didn't get made.   And, there were quite a few times it was made OVER AND OVER!  All I can say is that I am so grateful for your support and compassion as I bumped along. If you missed last weeks episode 49  The Content of Your Thoughts Are Not Important Thank you again for supporting me with this podcast and with CBT Schools online courses.  Please click here to find out more about  Mindfulness School for OCD .

Fri, May 18, 2018

Ep.49 The Content Of Your Thoughts Are Not Important

The Content Of Your Thoughts Are Not Important One of the biggest struggles my clients have is when they get caught up in the belief that their specific intrusive thoughts or fears warrant LOTS of attention and moral weight.     This is one of the most difficult things to manage when you are struggling with significant anxiety.   We can see that other peoples fears are irrational, but when it comes to our specific fear, we become unglued, confused and reactive. Here are a few questions that I want you to ask yourself before listening to this podcast. Have you caught yourself saying any of the following? 1.   “It's easy for you to say to, "just accept the thoughts".   You don’t have thoughts about hurting someone all day like I do (insert here whatever thought you are obsessing or ruminating on).   This thought is WAY worse than other thoughts.” 2. “This isn’t any old thought.   This would destroy my life if this thought came true.” 3. “I know I have to accept the uncertainty, but this isn’t just a thought” These are all examples of getting caught up in our thoughts content. When we get caught up in the CONTENT of our thoughts we can get stuck in a cycle of anxiety. When we give our thoughts all of this attention and value, our brains become hypervigilent and get even more worked up about the presence of these thoughts, feelings, and sensations.  Please note here,  I am in NO WAY telling you this is your fault.  This is just the way our brains work.    We also have be to careful about our narrative about this thought.  If we tell ourselves the thought is "bad", that triggers self-judgment, shame and self-doubt. Then we are off and running, judging ourselves more and putting ourselves down. Listen to the podcast to hear my FIVE STEPS to help when you are getting caught in the content of your thoughts. At the end of the podcast, I offer a little Challenge for you. Observe your thoughts and ask yourself if you could start to make any of these changes in your life. If you do notice that you are giving too much weight to a thought, try to practice Non-judgment (Ep 1) or <a href= "h

Fri, May 11, 2018

Ep. 48: 4 Steps to Doing Hard Things

Ep. 48: 4 Steps to Doing Hard Things! Welcome back! This week's episode is a celebration of last weeks guest interview with Dennis A. Aguilar. Last weeks episode was the first of the series called, We Can Do Hard Things Series.   In this series, I will interview people who have fought through the thickness of mental health struggles and have relentlessly worked on themselves.  These will be inspiring and motivating stories that will help you see that you are not alone in your recovery process. One question I have been getting from listeners, in response to last weeks podcast, was the question, "But, How do I do hard things when doing even the smallest things seem so hard for me?" This podcast will outline the FOUR steps I use to doing the hard things.  These steps are mostly tools that will help you understand and appreciate your personal journey. I often gently say to myself, "It is a beautiful day to do hard things!" and I really believe this to be a core part of my own mental health toolkit. I hope you enjoy this episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Resources: Episode The Skill of Non-Judgment  Click HERE for My Free PDF Printout: My FOUR Favorite Mindfulness Tools for OCD CBT SChool Campus Facebook Group

Fri, May 04, 2018

Ep. 47: We Can Do Hard Things (with Dennis A. Aguilar)

If you know me at all, you know that I 100% believe that WE CAN DO HARD THINGS!  If you are on Instagram or Facebook, you will often hear me repeat, "We can do hard things!" "We can do hard things!" "We can do hard things!" I am also a strong believer in Progressive Mastery.  Progressive Mastering is the systematic and step-by-step approach to learning new things.  Basically, we incredible humans can learn just about anything if we break it down into small steps and take one step at a time. I cannot stress this approach enough when it comes to mental wellness.  We must not look up at the mountain, tell ourselves how we will NEVER be able to make it up there and then give up.   We must take on emotion at a time.  One thought at a time.  One sensation at a time.  One urge at a time. When we do this, we move forward.  We move upward.  We soar! This week's podcast is the first of a series I am doing called "We can do hard things".  During this series, I will interview people who have taken the hard, but rewarding route of working through their emotions, mental health disorders, trauma and difficult childhoods. I could not be more excited to share this weeks episode with you. Dennis A. Aguilar joins us today to share the inspiring story of his life journey through mental illness.  Dennis talks about trauma, depression, suicidal ideation, OCD, anxiety, Bipolar Disorder, ADD, social anxiet y and other struggles he manages.  I found this interview to be incredibly inspiring and I am sure you will to0. Dennis also gives TONs of amazing advice to those who feel like recovery is not an option for them.  He talks about how he would go through stages of hopelessness and how to fought himself to just keep going. About Dennis A. Aguilar and Resources He Suggests Instagram Books: Mind Programming: From Persuasion to Brain Washing The Siva Mind Control Method What Every Body is Saying The Heart Of The Buddha Psychology Fifth Edition <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Norton-Psychology-Reader-Gary-Marcus/dp/0393927121/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&

Fri, April 27, 2018

Ep. 46: How To Improve Your Relationship With Anxiety

In This Episode, We Are Going To Get Creative Are you guys friends? You know.  You, and Anxiety.  Do you guys yell at each other?  Or, do you talk between yourselves in a respectful and considerate manner? This episode is all about your relationship with anxiety. Does Anxiety manipulate you into behaviors you don't want to engage in? Or, do you hold your ground when anxiety is trying to get its way? These questions might help you to determine what kind of relationship you have with the anxiety in your life.    This is a really important question and a conversation that we must continually have with ourselves.   Do you have a good relationship with anxiety? In today's podcast episode, we talk about How to Improve Your Relationship with Anxiety .  This includes how you talk with yourself, how you react to your anxiety and what your expectations are about its presence in your life. You guys know how much I LOVE a good metaphor.  Well, this week's podcast is one BIG metaphor on how to build a better relationship with your anxiety, depression, emotions, and sensations.   My goal is to give you a visual for managing and tolerating discomfort. In this episode, I also address setting boundaries with anxiety and depression but creating a relationship with anxiety AND depression.  I can't wait to hear whether this is helpful for you.  I find it incredibly helpful.  Enjoy! Click HERE to join our free FACEBOOK GROUP, CBT SCHOOL CAMPUS Click HERE to learn more about CBT Schools Mindfulness for OCD E-course Click HERE to learn more about CBT Schools e-course for Hair Pulling and Skin Picking, BFRB School

Fri, April 20, 2018

Ep.45: FIVE Roadblocks to Anxiety Recovery (w/ Sheva Rajaee)

Do you sometimes wonder what the secret sauce is to Anxiety Recovery?  Well, today, we have an INCREDIBLE interview with Sheva Rajaee discussing the FIVE ROADBLOCKS TO ANXIETY RECOVERY! Sheva Rajaee (forgive me for the error with her maiden name in the podcast) is a lovely friend of mine and I was lucky enough to get to work alongside her at the center where we were trained. Sheva is an OCD Advocate rockstar and was a speaker at last years UCLA TEDx Talk event, presenting the talk titled, “Addicted to the answer – anxiety in the age of information”. In this interview, Sheva comes very well prepared (as she always is) and she details what she calls the FIVE ROADBLOCKS TO ANXIETY RECOVERY, including tools to help manage Anxiety Disorders, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB's). Sheva details ways you can compliment Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tools and she uses a wonderful metaphor that we discussed in such depth that we ended up in hysterics! We talk about doing the hard work, staying committed and some mindset shifts that can help with recovery success.   Sheva and I also talk about those who are not currently in therapy and how they can utilize their own resources to keep them going. Sheva has her own private practice in Irvine, CA called the Center for Anxiety and OCD .  You can find Sheva on Instagram @theshrinkwrap.

Fri, April 13, 2018

Ep. 44: Anxiety + Anxiety + Anxiety = Anger

Anxiety + Anxiety + Anxiety = Anger Do you feel ever notice that your overwhelming fear turns into overwhelming anger?  Yes?  Well, you are not alone.   Anger is a very common bi-product of anxiety. Today, I share a little bit more about my experience of listening to Clint Malarchuk, who was a National Hockey League player and was the keynote speaker at the most recent So Cal IOCDF Conference.  Click  here  for last weeks podcast episode on  YOU ARE NOT ALONE Clint and his wife told their beautiful story about Clint's struggles with OCD and Trauma.   Clint shared all about his journey of managing obsessions and compulsions while excelling as a professional hockey player.   There was SO much about Clint and his wife presentation that I loved, but one thing stood out to me as being REALLY important.   Clint shared about his Anger.  Clint and his wife shared how he was overwhelmed with rage.  Clint was angry at himself.  Angry with his wife for demanding her get help.  Angry at his disorder, for taking so much away from him. It made me wonder, I am sure some of you would love to know that they are not alone in their anger. This podcast is for you if you commonly feel angry about what you are going through and angry at those who just don't get it. Anger is a normal human emotion, but we need to work on making space for it.  We cannot push it down and we cannot transfer it onto other people by yelling, throwing, punching and/or saying mean things. If you want to learn more about anger and how to manage it, listen to this podcast. I detail FOUR KEYS ways you can manage your experience of anger (and NO, punching a pillow is not one of them).   You will learn that you have to honor and respect your anger and create a better relationship with it. Click HERE to read about CBT School's Mindfulness for OCD Online course Click  HERE to read about CBT School's online Course, BFRB School: Joyful living with Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (Hair pulling and Skin Picking)

Thu, April 05, 2018

Ep. 43: You are not Alone

In Case You Didn't know, You are not Alone Just a couple of weeks ago, I attended and was honored to present at the Southern California OCD Conference ran by socalocd.com.   It was such an incredible event and I left with my heart feeling full and mind inspired. The thing about these conferences is that the energy of the attendees is so infectious.   At the beginning of the day, the room is filled with anticipation and hope.  These conferences are held in hope to give tools and support to those in the community with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. After listening to the keynote speakers and breaking into group sessions where attendees learn tools to manage their OCD (I spoke on Mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for OCD), we meet at the end of the day for a final Q&A with the panelists.   The room was filled with togetherness.   There was a sense of community and cohesion that warmed my heart (and it lasted for days). The next day, I posted on Instagram how honored I was to attend such a beautiful conference and I sent out the message that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  I knew a lot of people were not able to attend such a wonderful event and I wanted to spread the love and connection that I was feeling. The response flawed me.  Direct Messages and emails came in from those who are struggling with OCD and Anxiety and Depression, reporting how alone they feel. It got me wondering. Do you feel ALONE in your suffering? Do you feel like no one understands just how hard it is for you? Do you feel like no one could possibly understand what is it like to experience such anxiety and fear and panic? I am also wondering, Do you feel alone in your bravery? Do you feel like no one understands or appreciates how incredibly brave you are? You get up every day and do your best to get through the day with anxiety and depression and dread.    You face your fears, not because you want to, but because you HAVE to. Do you feel so alone that you feel angry?  Maybe you are so angry and hurt because no one else you know has to face their fears every single day, day in and day out. Do you feel alone because everyone else seems to do the thing that you fear so easily? If any of this describes you, this episode is for you. You are NOT alone! Click the below link to be added to the group.  I would LOVE to have you join us. CBT School Campus Private Facebook Group Link to OCD So Cal Below: OCD SoCal is an affiliate of the International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation (IOCDF)

Fri, March 30, 2018

Ep.42 Dispelling The Myths About Managing Anxiety (Interview with Jon Hershfield)

Ep.42 Dispelling The Myths About Managing Anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Jon Hershfield Shares How To Have A Wise Relationship With Thoughts, Feelings, and Sensations You guys know how much I LOVE breaking down ALL THINGS ANXIETY and then deliver it in easy and helpful ways.  In today's episode, I am THRILLED to share Jon Hershfield's wisdom with you.  He is a genius at breaking things down into easy-to-understand ways. For this episode, I reached out to some trusted and respected Mental Health Professionals for input.    I asked if they could share some of the unskilled advice that some of their clients have received from their previous therapists or medical professionals. During our time together, Jon addressed how some advice for anxiety can be problematic and Jon shared his INCREDIBLE knowledge and wisdom on how to manage anxiety and obsessions in a mindful and rational way. We discuss topics such as: Why can't I just distract myself from the thoughts? Can I just Listen to music to drown out the thoughts? Can I imagine a Stop Sign when having intrusive thoughts or worrying? What about squashing thoughts like a bug? If I think it, is it my unconscious mind trying to tell me something? My Doctor told me that I just need one really heavy period for this anxiety to pass My Doctor told me my Anxiety is due to not being breastfed I understand I can get these scary thoughts to go away by thinking positive and using The Law of Attraction. About Jon: Jon is the author of   When a Family Member Has OCD: Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Skills to Help Families Affected by Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder  .    Hershfield is also the C o-Author of  Everyday Mindfulness for OCD: Tips, Tricks, and Skills for Living Joyfully with Shala Nicely and  The Mindfulness Work

Fri, March 23, 2018

Ep. 41: Stay Present with these Two Little Words

So often, when we are anxious, we forget to stay present. Instead, we worry about what could possibly happen in the future. "What if something bad happens?" "What if I panic?" "What if...?" The more I observe my thoughts, the more I notice how incorrect my thoughts are.   In a split second, our brain will tell us an awful story about how a terrible thing is going to happen, how we are terrible people for thinking this thought, or how we cannot handle this feeling. We must come to accept that much of what we think is incorrect. I want to introduce you to TWO words that could change your life and make you more present if you put it into practice enough. Before I share the words with you, I want to encourage you to first get used to observing what you are thinking, feeling, experiencing. It could be emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, irritability etc. It could be thoughts, such as "I am so angry- I am so upset- I am not getting better- I cant do this- I cant handle this- I am feeling hopeless......" It could be sensations such as panic and anxiety-related sensations, increased heart rate, shaking, sweating, depersonalization etc It could be sensations related to Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (Trichotillomania and Compulsive Skin Picking) such as tingling fingers, itchiness or throbbing. Once you are able to notice and observe these experiences, I encourage you to click on the link and add these two little words to your narrative. Enjoy! I hope they bring you as much peace as they bring me. I have even added a short meditation to help you with this practice.  :)

Fri, March 16, 2018

Ep. 40: 5 Tips for Managing Panic Attacks

If you have ever experienced the discomfort of a panic attack, you will appreciate this episode. When it comes to managing Panic, there is a lot of bad advice out there.  I often have clients come to me reporting that they have been trying to "Stop Panicking" for years, only to find that nothing was working.  They report painfully fast heart rates, tight chests, and fear that they will die.  If you have experienced this, you are definitely not alone. In today's podcast, I will share with you My 5 Favorite Tips for Managing Panic Attacks (or Anxiety Attacks). As I mention in the episode, these are not the ONLY tips you need, but they are super important ones and ones I share often with my clients.  These mindfulness tools are SUPER helpful in managing your mindset and perspective on anxiety. I hope they help you on your journey to managing anxiety, panic, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and other struggles related to fear and worry. Forward we go, Kimberley

Fri, March 09, 2018

Ep. 39: A Funny Way to Approach Fear & Perfectionism

Hi, there folks! Once again, it is an honor to hang out with you. This week's podcast is a little bit silly.  But, I am dead serious when I say that This. Tool. Works!   If you are struggling with perfectionism, or anxiety that stops you from starting a project or participating in an event, this is the podcast for you. Sometimes we need a different perspective to pull us out of our constant need to make things perfect and perform in a way that doesn't make us vulnerable.  Writing about it doesn't really do it justice, so give this episode a listen.   I hope it gives you a little laugh and you can use this tool when you are up against fear and need a little push forward. Forward we go, Kimberley

Fri, March 02, 2018

Ep. 38: We Are The Lucky Ones! Important Lessons learned by Stuart Ralph

Today, I am thrilled to interview Stuart Ralph, the host of the amazing OCD Stories Podcast . In his podcast, Stuart interviews some of the most influential and inspiring psychotherapists and researchers in the anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder field.   During our interview together, I asked Stuart to tell us about some of the most inspiring and memorable interviews he has done and he gave us some SUPER important takeaways. In the podcast, we discussed: How Steven Hayes (author of  Get out of Your Mind and Into Your Life ) told Stuart, "You are the Lucky Ones!" How Reid Wilson taught him that "The Content of your worries is trash". How Professor Paul Gilbert (Founder of Compassion Focused Treatment and author of the book, The Compassionate Mind ) discussed the application of Self Compassion and how important it is for mental health recovery (especially those who experience anxiety, OCD and mood disorders). Stuart left us with this big piece of wisdom; "We all need love and self-care, and if we give ourselves huge doses of that we can move towards recovery". I hope you enjoyed this interview as much as I did! Please don't forget to leave a review for this podcast!  Your reviews help us reach more people, so then I can help more people! Virtual Hugs everyone!

Fri, February 23, 2018

Ep. 37: Giving Yourself Permission To....

Sometimes we are so overwhelmed with all of the pressure (from work, friends, family, school, society) that we forget that the pressure we feel isn't always mandatory.  We CAN give ourselves permission to drop the pressure and just BE.   I know! This might sound super impossible, but hear me out. What would happen if you responded to the anxiety and pressure and stress with, "I give myself permission to eat whatever I wanted" "I give myself permission to have scary thoughts" (such as intrusive violent, sexual or scrupulous thoughts) "I give myself permission to not only have these scary thoughts but also not solve what they mean about me" "I give myself permission to allow this anxiety to be here" "I give myself permission to be imperfect" "I give myself permission to rest!" "I give myself permission to just be ME" This is some powerful stuff! Giving yourself permission to listen to your body can be incredibly helpful when managing eating disorders (and disordered eating), Intrusive thoughts associated with Obsessive Compulsive (including harm, sexual, religious, contamination and symmetry obsessions to list a few), Social Anxiety, Perfectionism, low self-esteem and chronic anxiety and panic. Listen to hear why this is such an important tool for managing anxiety and reducing the pressure we feel daily.

Thu, February 15, 2018

Ep. 36: This EASY tool Might Change Your Way of Coping with Anxiety (W/ Shala Nicely)

Are you tired of feeling like anxiety always has the reins?  This tool might be exactly what you are looking for and can be a powerful complement to the work you are already doing with anxiety. The tool is called "Shoulders Back!" and our AMAZING CBT ROCKSTAR guest is Shala Nicely! Shala explains how she came across this tool and how she uses it, both in her own life and with her clients with anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).   The reason I LOVE this tool so much is that it is easy, empowering and science-based. Here are the links we discussed! Don't forget to check out Shala and Jeff Bell's E-course to help you with motivation for ERP for OCD. Click here for Shala and Jeff's E-Course Beyond The Doubt. Amy Cuddy Ted Talk talks about using a Power Pose Everyday Mindfulness Book (Written with Jon Hershfield)

Fri, February 09, 2018

Ep. #35: DON'T Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Yep, you read it correctly!  Today we are talking about Checking Behaviors! Chances are, you have done these behaviors a million times They sound like this....“Just to make sure” “I would prefer to be certain” “I cant handle my anxiety if I don’t....” “Terrible things will happen if I don’t.....” If you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you might check doors, stove knobs, hair dryers, crock pots (new for those who watched the TV show, This IS us), For those with Health Anxiety, you might check your ailments, sores, blemishes, degree of pain etc For those with Perfectionism, you might check emails, texts, phone messages, assignments for school etc For those with social anxiety, you might check Evite lists on who is going to an event, check your clothing or teeth in the mirror repetitively. Checking is an attempt to control our surroundings in hopes to avoid possible bad things from happening.   We might be avoiding the uncertainty of knowing if we will get sick or not.  We might be trying to eliminate entirely the chances of the house burning down or being robbed.  Or, we might be trying to eradicate any chance of being seen as anything less than perfect.   We might be afraid of embarrassment. But let's be honest! The chances are, you are mostly just trying to eradicate THOUGHTS about these events.   Or, maybe you are trying to eradicate the presence of anxiety around these topics. I understand this conundrum.   It is not uncommon to want to make sure you aren't going to burn down the house or miss a deadline or leave the door of your house wide open.   We all do checking behaviors from time to time. However, let's be really honest with ourselves.   If you find you are doing these activities over and over, chances are that you are mostly in the fight against uncertainty….and let me let you in on a little secret.   You won’t will this one.   Fighting uncertainty is like trying to get a toddler out the door on time for school.   The more you rush it, the longer they take.   True story!  Some might say, but when I do it, after some time, I DO find relief.   I get it.   Some are lucky to find those moments when the anxiety is lifted and you can walk away with a

Fri, February 02, 2018

#34: Setting Boundaries

Well, this week I tell you a story about the most influential moment I have experienced regarding boundary setting.  It is one of my favorite stories to tell because it taught me SO MUCH about setting boundaries and helped me see that some of the beliefs I had around setting boundaries were ENTIRELY wrong! During this podcast, we discuss FOUR steps to Boundary Setting and discuss how this can help us manage anxiety, resentment, and anger. I hope you enjoy the story as much I as enjoy telling it! Forward we go, Kimberley

Fri, January 26, 2018

Ep # 33: Talking Back To Depression Like A Gangsta (w/ Tiffany Roe)

Wassup Yo! This podcast is seriously Badass, even if I do say so myself! I am honored to introduce to you, Tiffany Roe.  Tiffany is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Utah and has the most incredible Instagram account, which is where I "met" her.   Tiffany is another one of those CBT Rockstars, who uses Mindfulness and CBT to help her clients manage Anxiety, Depression and Eating Disorders.   I just adore her!   In this podcast, we talk about how to talk back to depression like a Gangsta.  Tiffany shares some incredibly inspirational, empowering and FUN ways to talk back to Depression, when it bullies us and makes us feel like there is no hope. BUT THERE IS MORE!  Tiffany was so excited about our conversation, she kindly put together a Spotify Playlist of her favorite music that helps her lift out of depression and back into her own power and strength.   See below or click HERE for the link.  NB: Please note that some of the songs listed in the playlist include profanity. Thank you Tiffany for joining us at Your Anxiety Toolkit. It was so fun talking with you. https://open.spotify.com/user/122159189/playlist/0OuZaqSrqLQyVsHtx4yPbS?si=IgB475OAT4KlRs0R-atTqg

Fri, January 19, 2018

#32: How to Reduce Reassurance Seeking Behaviors/Compulsions

#32: How to Reduce Reassurance Seeking Behaviors Welcome back, everyone! Welcome back to the Series on Problematic Anxiety-Related Behaviors. Today, we are talking about Mindfulness-based tools to help with Reassurance Seeking. For those of you who don’t think this topic applies to you, stick around a little.   You might find that you are employing this behavior, even in slight and tricky ways. As mentioned in the last episode, there are behaviors that you can reduce, which will result in better outcomes when it comes to anxiety.   Last Week we discussed Avoidance and how this compulsion only makes fear worse.   This week, as we mentioned, we are discussing Reassurance Seeking Compulsions. So, What is Reassurance Seeking? Before I give a definition, let me give you some examples and you can see if you resonate with any of these. Am I doing this right? (Common in Perfectionism) Did you turn off the stove? Did I turn off the........ (Common in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) Are you sure everything will be ok? Do I look ok? (Common in Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Eating Disorders) You still love me, right? Do you think I will fail this test? (Common in Perfectionism) Do you think I hurt their feelings? Do you think they are mad at me? Do you think I could get sick? (Common in Health Anxiety and Contamination OCD) Did I hurt someone?  Could I hurt someone?  (Common in Harm OCD) Don't get me wrong.   These are questions that I would consider “appropriate” questions. However, the problem lies in their frequency and intention. If you find yourself asking questions repetitively, or you find yourself asking these questions when you know they don’t have the solution/answer, it is probably Reassurance Seeking. Also, if you find yourself asking these questions when you could be finding the solution yourself, this could be Reassurance Seeking. And lastly, if you find yourself attempting to find certainty in a situation where there is little to NO certainty, this podcast is for you! Reassurance Seeking is an action of removing someone's doubts or fears.   Reassurance seeking is very common (and problematic) behavior in Anxiety Disorders such as OCD, phobias, panic disorder, Generalize Anxiety Disorder.   It is also  common in Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Eating Disorders. That being said, it applies to us all, in our management of our own anxiety. The goal is to recognize that we must not reach

Sat, January 13, 2018

#31: BIG announcement and Why You Have to Stop Avoiding

BIG announcement and Why You Have to Stop Avoiding First, let me share some EXCITING news with you! I am so excited to share with you some news about the work I am focusing on in 2018! But first, let me tell you the back story. Each year, I do my best to attend several conferences for OCD, Anxiety, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s) and Depression.   I have had the privilege of presenting at many of these conferences over the years and I often return home in a state of joy, empowerment and determination to help those who struggle with these debilitating disorders.   I love learning all about the evidence-based treatment modalities for OCD, Anxiety Disorders and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors such as Trichotillomania and Skin Picking and using the skills to increase recovery outcomes and improve self-esteem and self-care. However, last year, I left one of the conferences quite sad.  I was sad for those sufferers who attended the conferences and then had to return home to their hometown, with very little support and no evidence-based services but licensed mental health professionals.   So few therapist know how to treat OCD, BFRB’s and Anxiety Disorders using the treatment modalities that are so successful and appropriate. From this frustration, I decided to create an online psycho-education platform where I can offer support and educational products to those who cannot access correct care. I am so proud to announce the creation of CBTschool.com .  CBTschool.com is an online platform when you can access information and online courses on how to overcome your struggles with OCD, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s), Anxiety Disorders, Panic and Depression.   Each course will apply Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (hence the term CBT, in CBT School) and Mindfulness Tools.  These are the exact tools I use with my clients every day in my office. I currently have one course ready to be purchased, called Mindfulness School for OCD.   I will talk more about this in coming podcasts.    Keep an eye out, as there will be more to purchase very soon. In addition to the online courses, I plan to meet at a designated time each month to join with you on Facebook Live and Instagram, to answer any questions you may have and help you along with your journey. More exciting news is the YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT podcast is now a production of CBTschool.com and we will continue to provide evidence based tools for Anxiety, Depression and Emotional Dysregulation. Lastly, if you check out CBTschool.com ’s websites, you will see that there is also some awesome free PDF’s available to help you with self care and mindfulness.    I am so th

Thu, January 04, 2018

Episode #30: "Today is a New Day" Daily Guided Mediation

In this episode, we try a new meditation to help you stay present in THIS day. HAPPY NEW YEAR! It is a great guided meditation to help you stay centered on the present moment and let go of yesterdays events or tomorrows possible happenings.  I recorded this meditation at the beach, as this is where I feel the most present and alive.  I hope you find it helpful.  It has become a daily part of my practice and I hope it brings you empowerment and peace. Forward we go! Kimberley

Fri, December 22, 2017

Episode #29: How and How-Not to set New Years Resolutions (for the Anxiety Sufferer)

Happy Almost New Year!! Well, it's that time of year! You know, the time where you reflect on the year and set outrageous resolutions for the upcoming year.  It is when you dwell on all the things you DIDN'T do last year that you said you would. During this podcast, I walk through a very successful way to set intentions for the upcoming Year, Month, Week, Day and even Hour!  I walk you through why New Year's Resolutions rarely work and how I use Honesty and values to set goals that will improve self compassion, self-respect and effectiveness. I also give a few examples of how this applies to those with OCD, Eating Disorders, Social Anxiety and Panic Attacks. Last of all, I want to with you the HAPPIEST and SAFEST New Year! Forward we go! Kimberley

Sat, December 16, 2017

Episode #28: The Dark Days: Interview with Alison Dotson

Hello there Everyone! Today, I am thrilled to have guest, Alison Dotson on the Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. During this podcast, Alison shares her journey from not even knowing what OCD was to what helped her with her recovery.   Alison and I had a fun time also managing technological hiccups, which ended up being a wonderful practice of mindfulness. Alison Dotson is the author of  Being Me with OCD: How I Learned to Obsess Less and Live My Life. In this book, Alison shares her personal journey with obsessive-compulsive disorder and includes some of the most heart-wrenching details.  Her genuine goal is to spread awareness and helping teens and young adults with OCD. Resources Mentioned in this this Podcast: Alisondotson.com facebook.com/beingmewithocd Imp of the Mind IOCDF.org twitter- beingmewithocd OCD Twin Cities  info@ocdtc.org

Fri, December 15, 2017

Episode #27: Oh, The Thinks you can Think! Lessons from Mindfulness Teacher, Dave Trachtenberg

Today, we have an AMAZING guess on the podcast, Dave Trachtenberg.    Dave is the Program Director at Minds Incorporated.  Minds Inc. is a non-profit dedicated to empowering Washington DC-area schools by teaching mindfulness-based practices to students, educators, and parents. During the Podcast, Dave shares how Minds Inc. teaches students, starting in elementary school (and their educators, and parents) simple daily mindfulness practices.  Dave speaks about how these teachings increase focus and attention, reduce stress and anxiety, create resilience and the capacity to handle difficult emotions, and build compassion. As discussed in the podcast, sometimes when I get down about the state of the world, I find myself doing late night Google searches on how I can make it better.   In my searches, I found Minds Inc's website and came across Dave.   Dave shared some beautiful stories about helping young children and teens and also shared his own struggles with OCD, Tic Disorder, Depression and Self-worth.    Dave answered the following questions: Tell us about Minds Inc? What got you involved in teaching meditation to Teachers, Students and Parents? What is your personal experience with meditation and Mindfulness? What at some experiences/examples of situations you have had with youth at Minds Incorporated?   (successes, struggles, changes made)?  What type of meditation does Minds Inc. teach? What special tools/practices do you use for living mindfully? What advice do you give for those starting out with meditation? Tell us how you manage struggles with meditation? How can we teach our children? This was one of my favorite conversations and I am so thrilled to share it with you.  I would love to hear your feedback. Have a wonderful day! Kimberley   Resources: Mindsincorporated.org Brain Lock Angel Kyodo Williams  http://transformativechange.org/founder/ Pema Chodron  <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb

Mon, December 11, 2017

Episode #26: The Simplicity of Mindfulness

Well, Lets be honest!  Sometimes I get so excited about practicing and teaching the deep and helpful concepts of Mindfulness that I forget to remind y'all of how simple it can and should be! Often, when we experience anxiety (or other strong emotions), we often forget everything we have learned and are left standing helpful and afraid.  In this podcast, we return to one of the most simplest and easiest Mindfulness tool available. Check it out!  And, if you are noticing how basic and thinned out this blog is, that is no accident.  This week, we are practicing simplicity!!  See you next week!    

Sat, December 02, 2017

Episode #25: Vulnerability: The Road to Courage, Self-Compassion and Self-Worth

Vulnerability: The Road to Courage, Self-Compassion and Self-Worth In today’s podcast, I wanted to dissect the concept of Vulnerability. Brene Brown, reknowned researcher on Vulnerability defines Vulnerability as “Uncertainty, Risk and Emotional Exposure” I find this somewhat ironic, as Uncertainty, Risk and Emotional Exposure are the worst nightmare of someone who experiences anxiety, OCD, an eating disorder (such as Anorexia Nervosa or Bulimia Nervosa), trauma, grief or depression. I think many humans struggle with these concepts, but I feel that it is significantly difficult for those who struggle with these mental health disorders.    In many cases, there is a complete rejection of vulnerability.  I believe we think that if we avoid vulnerability, we  can rid ourselves of shame, embarrassment, being judged, feeling sad or hurt.     However, all we end up doing is numbing.  When we have anxiety, we think that if we avoid vulnerability, we could rid ourselves of possible bad or catastrophic   outcomes.  However, all we end up doing is becoming compulsive.  In this podcast, I detail the workings of those who are successful at being vulnerable and take a look at the outcomes that result.  We will outlines ways that you can practice vulnerability in large or small steps.  We look at the repurcussions of staying safe and avoiding vulernability and we detail the research’s findings about self-worth and conectivity.   I hope you enjoy it!   This is one of my favorite subjects.  Forward we go! Kimberley Photo by  Nathan Anderson  on  Unsplash

Fri, November 24, 2017

Episode #24: Willingness-Leave It All Out On The Field!

Episode #24: Willingness-Leave It All Out On The Field! I LOVE the term, "leave it all out on the field!" There is something totally radical and badass about the idea of "leaving it all out on the field!" It means we are committed to the hard work.  It demonstrates that we are ready to feel some discomfort.  "Leaving it out on the field" describes giving it your everything.  I LOVE it! How does this apply to Mindfulness? The degree that you "leave it out on the field" is a great way to describe Willingness.  Willingness is radically accepting and giving consent to our present experience. We can conceptualize Willingness as scale, similar to a continuum. 0/10 Willingness implies we have absolutely NO willingness to be uncomfortable (or have anxiety, intrusive thoughts, panic, have uncertainty). We reject all feelings of discomfort Fear makes our decisions (causing us to do more compulsions) Disown any negative experience 10/10 Willingness is saying 100% "YES" to whatever experience of discomfort that arises Radically accepting the feared outcome Allowing yourself to have anxiety, fear and intrusive thoughts. You LEFT IT ALL OUT ON THE FIELD! Listen to hear ways to increase your WILLINGNESS, even if it is just a teeny, tiny bit. Enjoy!  And Happy Thanksgiving!

Wed, November 15, 2017

Episode # 23: The Mindful Use of Technology with Dr. Dustin Weissman

The Mindful Use of Technology Hi everyone!  I hope this finds you well. This podcast is about a topic that is so important and so interesting to me.  In this episode, we speak with screen time expert, Dr Dustin Weissman about how to use technology (smart phones, tablets, internet etc) in a mindful and healthy way.  We specifically discuss how to manage Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), OCD Spectrum Disorders such as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), and Eating Disorders. In this episode, we discussed: Does technology improve or harm our Self-Esteem? How can we create a Balanced lifestyle when using technology? How can Parents monitor and moderate their children's use? How can Parents practice sound and mindful discipline using technology as the reward or consequence? How can we, as adults, monitor and manage our use of technology in this era of information? How can we manage the compulsive use of internet/mobile devices for those with OCD and BDD? How can we manage reassurance seeking behaviors related to technology use? Special tips for those with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and  Eating Disorders. Earlier this year, Dr Weissman published his dissertation titled, Impacts of Playing Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games (MMORPGs) on Individuals' Subjective Sense of Feeling Connected with Others.   Some links we discussed in the Podcast:  Quality Time APP:   http://www.qualitytimeapp.com/faq/ MindSpace Meditation APP:  https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/mindspace/id967886308?mt=8 About Dr. Weissman:  Dr. Dustin Weissman holds a Psychology Doctorate and works in private practice in Westlake Village, CA. He works with clients who are struggling with any form of internet addiction or problematic internet use, which include: online gaming, gambling, pornography, or smartphone addiction. Earlier this year, he published his dissertation, Impacts of Playing Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games (MMORPGs) on Individuals' Subjective Sense of Feeling Connected with Others. A link can be found from his personal website,  DustinWeissman.com . He was recently featured as an expert on screen time in an online article and h

Sun, November 05, 2017

Episode #22: "Why Not Me?" and Our Limiting Beliefs

Got something you really want to achieve? I am guessing that you most certainly do. What is holding you back from taking on this thing you want achieve?  Why can't you reach this goal? This is the big question that I am toying with right now.  Why can't I? Why not Me? Why not you?  It is a really tough subject, because we have to face ourselves and our possibilities, and this can be SUPER scary. Sometimes, at least for me, when we look at our big goals, we are forces to tackle our deepest limiting beliefs.  "I am not enough."  "I am not strong enough." "No one cares about me anyway."  "What's the point.  I will only ruin everything anyway."  These are all limiting beliefs that stop us from reaching realistic goals. Think about it. I am guessing at least one person (or maybe millions of people) have achieved your goal, or a goal like it, already.  WHY NOT YOU?   "It's not special if someone else has already done it."  LIMITING BELIEF!!! "I don't have what it takes!"   How do you know? Thomas Edison failed 1000's of times to make the light bulb.  That is one piece of proof that you probably can!  Persistence people! Let's really get to know our limiting beliefs and then be SUPER mindful about them.  Listen to hear more about how. :)

Mon, October 23, 2017

Episode #21: Listeners Ask Questions about Mindfulness for Anxiety, OCD and Other Stuff

Happy Halloween everyone!  It's one of my favorite months and I LOVE that everyone is so willing to be afraid on this special day.   Let's all commit to being willing to be scared/afraid/anxious every day, shall we? This episode is a little different to the normal format.  Today, I answer questions from Your Anxiety Toolkit listeners about anxiety, OCD, Mindfulness and appropriate treatment for certain disorders. Questions include: How to manage Postpartum OCD (including thoughts of hurting our children) How to help someone with Scrupulocity or Moral Obsessions (including fear of offending God or sinning) How to help a son with OCD and Tic Disorder How to manage thoughts about Death GREAT, GREAT QUESTIONS!  I hope my answers were helpful Have a wonderful day everyone!

Tue, October 03, 2017

Episode #20: Managing Anxiety When The News Is So Scary (A message from me to you)

Hi there guys!  I couldn't finish the day without checking in with you and sending you my support after such a difficult day.   This podcast was not planned and I kind of threw it together at the last minute.  I hope it is helpful. For anyone in Las Vegas or Puerto Rico or any other place where there is destruction and pain, please know that I am praying for you and I hold you in my heart. These scary events can trigger our already high anxiety, so please listen for some tips and tools to manage your anxiety about the current events and affairs in the news. A couple of important points: Anger Sadness and Anxiety/Fear are all very human responses to these horrific events. Obsessions to look out for: "Will this happen to me, or a loved one?" Intrusive Imagery (Mental images of people suffering from traumatic events, shootings, hurricanes, earthquakes etc) Intrusive sounds (Gun shots, people crying, sobbing, screaming, sirens etc) For those with Harm OCD:  "Am I capable of doing such an act?" Compulsions to look out for Mental Review or Mental Compulsions about the event or possibility of this happening to you or a loved one Reassurance Seeking (checking news, checking phones, asking a loved one if they will be ok etc) Avoidance (future vacations, work, school, thought blocking, etc) Increase in physical behaviors/compulsions.

Thu, September 28, 2017

Episode #19: Nature just might be the ULTIMATE Mindfulness Tool (with Zoe Gillis)

If you are anything like me, the days go by too fast and you find yourself running through the day without stopping to take in the beauty of nature.   Is it just me? Today, I was lucky enough to interview Zoe Gillis, who I consider to be the MASTER of combining mindfulness with a wilderness practice. She combines hiking, backpacking and camping with Mindfulness and Meditation as a way to get a deeper understanding of our self and each other.  It is BRILLIANT stuff and it makes me want to pack my bags and go camp in the dessert right now! Zoe is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a wilderness guide who is the founder of Z Adventures.   Z Adventures thrives on the belief that we need to disconnect before we can connect and step out into the wilderness more often. During this podcast, Zoe and I discuss: Ways to introduce nature into your mindfulness practice. How being in nature can help us identify how we see ourselves How being in nature can help us identify our strengths and weaknesses. The benefits of doing short vs. longer wilderness activities This is possibly one of my favorite episodes so far, so check it out! Click HERE to watch the interview on YouTube   You can learn more about Zoe Gillis or Z Adventures at the below links: Zadventures.life http://www.zoegillis.com/ https://www.facebook.com/zadventuresla/ https://www.instagram.com/z_adventures/?hl=en

Thu, September 21, 2017

Episode #18: How To Heal Self-Blame With Self-Forgiveness (Ho'oponopono Meditation)

How to Heal Self-Blame with Self-Forgiveness using Ho'oponopono Meditation If you are anything like me, you are quick to blame yourself for any of the below reasons: You have not achieved some level or expectation. You tried to better yourself and you "failed." You made a mistake (unintentional) or had an accident (I call this, “You Did a human” AKA Making a human mistake) Especially for you, if you have OCD; You have “bad” thoughts, intrusive thoughts, thoughts you deem "unacceptable." You feel like you are a BAD person who doesn't EVER deserve to be forgiven. You are attempting to work through your mental health issues. You struggle to do exposures or follow some treatment goal. You experience self-disgust (for having pimples, cellulite, intrusive thoughts etc. My main message in this podcast is this: HUMANS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PERFECT! HUMANS ARE ALWAYS AND FOREVER GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES! This podcast details a practice called Ho’oponopono.  Ho-oponopon is a spiritual practice of harmony between people, nature and spirit that has been used in Hawaiian and other Polynesian cultures for centuries. Ho’oponopono Key Concept: We can heal our own wounds and then we can then go out and heal our world. Ho'oponopono Meditation Foundation: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.   Here are some ridiculous reason to not practice Self-Forgiveness: You only deserve Self-Forgiveness after you make the world better (giving service to others). If you forgive myself, you will stop caring and let yourself go and become and even worse person. Once you are perfect, then you can forgive yourself. If you blame myself first, it will hurt less if someone else blames you or notices your imperfections. Please do not let these reason stop you from freeing yourself from Self-Blame. Give it a try and see if it works for you! I found it to be a very powerful practice. Have a great week!

Sat, August 19, 2017

Episode #17: What You Say To Yourself Matters

What You Say To Yourself Matters. More importantly, what you say to yourself about anxiety matters! In this podcast, I delve into the importance of accurate and mindful language, specifically related to how to experience and manage anxiety.   Believe it or not, the story you tell yourself can greatly change the way you see yourself and the world around you. The way we talk to ourselves about our experience of anxiety can greatly affect the management of our anxiety, and can create a platform for whether we thrive or merely survive our anxiety. To help us conceptualize this subject, I use a fictional example, Mary.  My hope is that Mary can help us understand the complexity of our negative thinking and help us to find new ways to talk to ourselves about our anxiety. Example: Mary has anxiety and wakes up and feeling anxious. She immediately thinks, “I am so anxious”, “Something bad is going to happen”, “It isn’t fair that this is happening”, and “Why me?”    She goes off to work, repeating in her head, “I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this…” What she is telling herself: Things are bad Things aren’t going to get better She is the victim. That she has no choices here She doesn’t have coping skills/ She will not survive this event What you can do differently: During this podcast, I discuss four key steps you can take to improve your personal narrative about your anxiety. They steps will lead you towards more mindful and helpful approach to talking about your anxiety. I have outlined a step-by-step plan to help you better manage your narrative related to anxiety.  We go into greater detail in the podcast, so enjoy listening! _______________________ 4-point plan to creating a more Mindful Narrative Be objective, not subjective                       See Episode #1: The Skill or Non-Judgment for more info Be in the present moment                          See Episode #8: Skill of Awareness for more info Take responsibility for your experience Practice Uncertainty                                    See Episode #6: The Beginners Mind  for more info _____________________ To help you along with practicing these steps, I have also created a fun PDF that you  can download/p

Thu, July 20, 2017

Episode #16: Guilt, Shame and being "SO OCD" with CBT ROCKSTAR Shala Nicely

GUILT, SHAME and b eing “SO OCD” with Shala Nicely I am honored to share with you a recent interview I did with OCD ROCKSTAR and dear friend, Shala Nicely. Shala is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Atlanta and treats OCD and OCD Spectrum Disorders using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I briefly outlined the conversation and left all the links discussed during the podcast. Enjoy! Shala recently wrote an awesome blog post article about a top women’s magazine that posted an article encouraging readers to “be a little OCD!” Shala declared enough was enough and got writing. Shala and her ROCKSTAR mom are doing so much to advocate for the OCD community. See the below link to check it out. http://www.shalanicely.com/misc/aha-moments-magazine-encouraging-us-little-ocd/ How do you respond when people say, “I am SO OCD?” Shala reports that she always aims to never shame anyone. For this reason, she talked about polite and non-shaming ways to educate others on what OCD and how painful and debilitating it can be. How does it feel when you hear someone say "I am so OCD"? “First, frustration”, but then desire to educate others about the severity of OCD and other mental health disorders. Are people with OCD, “SO OCD?” In today’s society, being “SO OCD” is generalized to describe someone who is meticulous and likes symmetry and neatness. This is not typical for someone with OCD. Someone who has severe OCD might be entirely ok with a dirty bedroom and not need symmetry or cleanliness at all.   It is important that we educate people about the specific sub-types of OCD so that people better understand the complexities and variety of OCD symptoms. Go to Iocdf.org for more information How can we manage the shame and guilt that comes with having OCD or another mental health disorder? Brene Brown  has written some AWESOME literature and has done amazing research about shame and guilt. Because Shame and Guilt are so common amongst those with OCD, Anxiety, Eating Disorders and Body- Focused Repetitive Disorders, we both strongly encourage listeners to read any of her books. Kimberley also discussed Brene’s explanation of how to identify if you can trust someone. Check out the link below to watch. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewngFnXcqao Shala’s FAVORITE mindfulness tool: <img class="alignright wp-image-517" src= "http://kimb

Mon, July 03, 2017

Episode #15: Finding your Village

Hello everyone! I am excited to share this months podcast, as we are joined by what I call a CBT SUPERSTAR, Sara Vicendese .  Sara is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) in addition to traditional PsychoDynamic therapy. This podcast is based on the phrase, " It takes a village to raise a child ".   This phrase is used often to explain the importance of community when raising a thriving and successful child.  We believe that you can create your own "micro-village" to help you along with your recovery. Today we talk about ways to create YOUR "Village" (in whatever form you think is helpful) to help you with your on personal recovery.  We discuss how to find the correct treatment, access the most helpful resources and how to include your family members, friends or partners in your recovery, in a healthy and helpful way. Below is a basic layout of our conversation.  Enjoy!!!  Today we talk about ways to create YOUR "Village".  What is the most effective form of treatment for OCD, and how do I find a therapist who provides it? Sara talks about the difference between Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) including Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and psychodynamic “talk” therapy, specifically focusing on: How to interview your therapist: what questions to ask, how to ask them, and the importance of interviewing therapists without assuming that everyone with a degree is going to be the right fit. How to know what kind of therapy you’re in. How do you find a good ERP Therapist Check out IOCDF.org for a list of therapists who are trained in CBT and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Once in contact with a therapist, ask if they know what ERP is? Ask what books they rely on when treating OCD? (This might allow you to screen them for their knowledge) Ask if they have they worked with OCD before and for how long? Where did they get their training How do you know your current therapy is or isn’t working? Sara writes, “A lot of dynamic therapists will stress that things can “get worse before they get better,” encouraging clients to wait months – or even years – to see the benefits of their work. It’s true that in any therapy, including ERP, you will likely feel worse before you start to feel better…but if months go by and you aren’t experiencing any reduction in symptoms OR if you notice – at any time – that you are getting significantly worse, it is likely time to move on.” What advice do you have for those who cannot find an ERP therapist in their area? Or, for those who can only afford a therapist in-network who does not know about ERP? There are some awesome workbooks out there for OCD. (<a href= "https://www.amazon.

Sat, May 13, 2017

Episode #14: The Skill of Being Patient

The Skill of Being Patient There is an urgency that is ruining us in today’s culture. We must have everything right away and we get upset when we don’t get our way. When I catch myself in these behaviors, and I am mindful enough, I ask, “Why am I behaving this way?” The answer is always FEAR!   We are afraid of being late. We are afraid someone will judge us or be upset at us for being late.   We are afraid of not checking off everything on our list of things to do, which will make us feel unsatisfactory. We are afraid if we don’t do it fast enough, we won’t get home early enough to have a moment to ourselves, where we can breathe and find some peace. So, we clench our teeth, take the corners too fast and we fail to take in any of the joy of that moment. We keep forgetting is that peace lies in this moment.   The problem here is that rushing and insisting things go to our expected timeline is setting us up to have discomfort. Patience requires us to accept and tolerate difficulties and delays, without getting angry or upset. So, how do we practice patience when we are being followed by anxiety all day, every day, particularly for those who have an anxiety disorder such as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety (GAD) or a specific phobia? This questions also applies to those who have other disorders such as and Eating Disorder (Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa or Binge Eating Disorder), or Body Focused Repetitive Behavior (hair pulling or skin picking)? Lets take a look at a few examples of how anxiety requires patience. “I want anxiety to go away now” Patience involves the practice willingness to feel anxiety. Patience is going about your day while experiencing the anxiety you have. This is the golden rule for managing anxiety. If you are running from anxiety or pushing too fast through it, you are creating an anxiety monster.   Patience is willingness and compassion all rolled into one. Patience will involve not getting angry or condemning yourself for having this fear. We tend to play the blame game when we are struggling, thinking that an appropriate amount of blame and shame will teach us to no longer feeling this way or prevent feeling it in the future. This also applies to not blaming others.   Our anxiety is ours. We cannot blame others for it. Even if someone does something that makes us anxious, we must work to heal our own hearts and learn how to manage it. I want to solve the problem RIGHT NOW! I need to know the answer RIGHT NOW! This is where patience is needed most; when you want something you have not got. This is where you have to loosen your grip and make a lot of space for uncertainty. We have to develop a deep respect for the natural unfolding of time.   Just because it is unknown, does not mean it must be known.   Your job is to be patient with the feeling of “un-knowing” and trust that things will happen at their pace. Again, loosen your grip, or loosen your reins and take a look around. Con

Thu, April 13, 2017

Episode # 13: For you, when you think you are failing

This is a message to you, for those times when you feel like you are failing. This is a little bit of a verbal manifesto for you, if you feel like you are not winning the fight against anxiety and you are lost on where to go next. Maybe you feel like you can’t seem to get relief from your anxiety. Or you are unable to do something that is super scary for you. Possibly you have mastered one struggle and then you have found that a new anxiety or struggle has risen. In this moment, you may feel like you cannot seem to get “control” over whatever it is that you are dealing with.   Because of this, your emotions might be raging, despite your attempts to calm them. Below are my favorite FIVE points to remember when you think that you are failing, or not winning.   I hope they find you some peace and give you some ideas to help you keep moving forward. FIVE things for you to remeber when you think you are “failing” Thing #1 You cannot “fail” if you are trying. If you are trying, you are being willing Failing is if you stop trying.  There will be times when you have to slow down and stop your work for a moment. You may need some time to reflect (see Thing # 3 for more information on this). That being said, try to remember that slowing down is not failing either. Thing #2 This struggle is real and IMPORTANT.   You are not making this struggle up. If it is hard for you, it IS hard. Just because it isn’t hard for others, does NOT discount that it IS hard for you. Be gentle with yourself. You are not dumb, or stupid, or messed up because this struggle is so hard for you. There is no rhyme or reason why this struggle chose you. All I can say is that it is yours and you are correct. IT IS HARD. Thing # 3 Make the “fail” or the struggle count.  There is knowledge in each struggle. I can be helpful to ask yourself, “What message is there that we could learn from?” Possible obstacles that might be getting in the way could include concepts such as- I cannot let go of control. I am struggling with concept of uncertainty I am struggling with accepting my physical discomfort Once you have identified the obstacle, you might review (by yourself or with your therapist) if it          would be helpful to go back to identifying and correcting your irrational thoughts about your fear. You might also want to revisit your willingness tools.  An important tool that we often forget is to apply TONS of compassion. Or maybe just a little bit, if compassion is a hard tool for you to access.  You could use this “fail” to dispel the misconception that you should be ashamed of having this struggle.  Can you share it with someone your trust? We all, even those who seem happy and lucky, have struggles. You are not alone. Don’t hide it all to yourself. Reach out and ask for a hug. Allow yourself to be comforted. Brene Brown’s research on trust has shown that others trust us more when we share our own struggles with others. Thing #4 Beating yourself

Sat, March 11, 2017

Episode # 12: Let's Talk about your Brain and Anxiety

Let’s talk about your Brain and Anxiety When your physical symptoms of anxiety are high, you may feel like nothing works.   You may have moments when you feel like you can’t come back to your rational brain.  When we are all wound up on anxiety, fear can run the show.   You know what I am talking about, right? Despite there being some great tools out there, but one of the most difficult parts of having severe anxiety or panic is the comprehending what IS real danger and what IS NOT. Last month we talked about R.A.I.N, which is an acronym that helps us use some of the most important mindfulness tools.   There is also non-judgment, acceptance, willingness, bringing our attention to the present moment.   These are all wonderful tools. For me personally, if I can understand the mechanism behind what is happening, I can handle it better. That is why understanding what was happening in my brain was SO helpful. Today we are going to delve deeper into understanding our brain and what happens when we experience high anxiety. The problem with the anxious brain is that it often sets of an alarm, making us feel like our lives are at risk, danger is ahead, when really there is no danger at all.   This is a mistake our brain makes, particularly when we have an anxiety disorder like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety or Specific Phobias. Sometimes just understanding a little bit about what our brain is doing can help us with awareness and then allow us to implement the tools better. A Simple way to Understand YOUR Brain and Anxiety I want you to think of the brain like a house. This house is a two-story house, with a stairway that leads us to from upstairs to downstairs, or vice versa. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne wrote a wonderful book called, The Whole Brain Child that coined this concept, but I have shifted them a little to specifically address the management of anxiety. **Please note that scientifically, this is not perfect. It would take hours for me to explain the intricacies of the brain and all the areas that provide different functions. For the purpose of getting a basic understanding, we will use this simple metaphor. The Upstairs of the brain is where we do most of our Executive Functioning. What this means is, in the upstairs brain lives the “Thinkers”. Functions of the upstairs brain allows us to Regulate our body (speed up or slow down) Tune in to someone else or something else. Balance our Emotions and use Empathy and compassion Have response flexibility (slows down the time between impulses or urges and an action). Basically, this means that we don’t respond based on pure emotion. Calm our fear: There are inhibitory peptides called gabba that tame our fear and help us interpret the stimuli in a rational, appropriate way. This occurs in the Prefrontal Cortex at the front of the

Tue, January 31, 2017

Episode #11: R.A.I.N

RAIN: A four step Mindfulness tool Welcome back and Happy New Year everyone! Today we are discussing a very valuable mindfulness tool called RAIN. It can be a super helpful way to manage strong emotions and sensations.   RAIN can help manage anger, shame, guilt, sadness, depression and pain.   I have found this tool to be a particularly helpful tool for those experiencing anxiety or panic, but is also a very helpful tool for strong hair pulling or skin picking urges. RAIN is an acronym. Each letter represents one step and is a part of a 4-step mindfulness tool. R is for RECOGNIZE: The first step is to recognize what is going on in this present moment. Recognizing gets us to slow down, or stop. Often, we are so reactive that we don’t stop to notice if there might be another solution or another was to respond. An example of this might be “Oh, I am feeling hurt right now” or “Oh, I am having a thought about the possibility of me panicking very soon” We stop to recognize things for how they really are. A is for ALLOW or ACCEPT: First, start by saying “YES” Do not fight that this is what is happening. By allowing, you are not denying it. You are making room for it in your day By allowing, you are also not invested in its removal or exit. You are staying present. An example of allowing and accepting is, “I am going to allow the sensations of anxiety in my body right now. They will not hurt me” or, “This urge to pull my hair is very strong, but I am going to just allow it to come and go. I wont last forever” I is for Investigate: When we investigate, we take note of what is going on We become aware of the real details. It is IMPORTANT to know that this does NOT mean that you should be thinking about the perceived problem. This does not mean that you should be trying to figure out the perceived problem. Let me explain using a few examples E.g. #1. Lets say you have OCD and you have had the thought “What if I go crazy and go on a shooting rampage” (a typical harm OCD thought). Before using this tool, you might immediately feel anxious, and then go into a long process of trying to get rid of that thought and find proof that you would NEVER EVER, EVER do such a thing. You might spend hours going over and over in your head if that would appeal to you or if others would think you are capable of such an act. Using the I of RAIN, which is investigate, you would investigate what it feels like to have that thought. You would NOT investigate the validity of that thought. The goal is to investigate by saying something like, “Oh, I notice that thought makes my anxiety increase. Isn’t it interesting that my brain and body is responding to this thought this way?” Example #2: Lets say you have an Eating Disorder such as Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa or Binge-Eating.   It is common for someone with an eating d

Thu, January 05, 2017

Episode #10: Yes Mind, No Mind and Maybe Mind

  YOUR MINDSET MATTERS: How being in "Yes Mind" can be a game changer for you! My main goal for this podcast is to create a new approach for handling Anxiety and other difficult emotions and sensations. During today’s podcast I am talking about being in YES mind, NO mind and MAYBE mind and what that all means in relation to how we approach anxiety and other emotions. We will conclude with a short mindfulness meditation to help you take on some of the mindfulness skills discussed today. Some may have heard me speak about this idea of YES NO and MAYBE, but during this podcast I am going into greater detail and discuss why this concept is so important when you live with anxiety, depression or other similar struggles such as eating disorders and BFRB’s. In order to make this easy to understand, lets pretend you have been asked to present at the annual conference for the industry you work in and you are terrified of public speaking. You can insert your own story into this story (Contamination OCD and you have to go to the hospital for a family member, for example) You have 3 OPTIONS: You could say YES: PRO to saying YES: You might meet new people or make new connections in your industry, it looks excellent on your resume, and MOST importantly, you are not letting anxiety make your decisions. CON: You have to prepare, and have to manage and tolerate your anticipatory anxiety until the event occurs and the emotions related to worrying how it will go You could say NO: PRO: You get the relief of not adding this challenge to your plate. While that is a pretty sizable PRO, given that anticipatory anxiety can be hard to manage, try to stay open minded about the fact that saying no gives your short term comfort, but leads to longer term discomforts. CON: You miss out on a huge opportunity to build your public speaking skills and your reputation in your industry.   Colleagues might stop asking you to these events and not give you these opportunities in the future. Biggest CON is that Anxiety wins. Anxiety makes your decisions. You could say Maybe: We end up spending the entire time mentally ruminating You go back and forth, with no real relief from your emotions and feelings and no real success. Its Repetitious and exhausting. For those of you who have heard this concept before, or for those of you who are guessing, I am hoping that we can agree that of all the choices, MAYBE is the most dangerous. For those who thought Maybe was a good choice, lets take a closer look at each option. When dealing with emotions such as fear, anger, sadness or physical discomfort, even pain, when we choose NO or to be in “No Mind”, we push away our feelings as if this will allow us to move away from the “problem".  The problem isn't the conference.  The problem is that we are saying NO to the conference There is little mental rumination

Thu, January 05, 2017

Episode #9: The Glass Body Meditation

Hi there everyone! This months podcast is a guided relaxation meditation.  I ADORE this meditation and is one that I have adapted from several meditations that I love.  It is super easy and doesn't require a lot of effort, except just staying with me. It is particularly easy to use before, during or after doing exposure for OCD or other anxiety disorders.  I also encourage this when practicing mindful eating or intuitive eating.  It is a great way to direct your attention back to your body and into the moment. Try it and let me know what you think. And Happy Belated Thanksgiving! Warmly, Kimberley

Thu, October 27, 2016

Episode #8: The skill of Awareness

The Skill of Awareness   Halloween is just around the corner and we are moving into the holiday season. You may notice that you can go the whole day without noticing. You are in what I call Autopilot. Much of the time we are so in our head, we forget to be aware When we experience stress, we assume that something fundamentally is wrong or that a disaster will happen. We become disconnected. We avoid situations. We stop taking care of ourselves. We get irritated. We mentally ruminate. We judge ourselves negatively. For those who have OCD, you have more obsessions and do more compulsions For those with an Eating Disorder, you might restrict more, or binge more, or purge more. If you have a Body Focused Repetitive Behavior (BFRB), you will spend more time in a “trance” state.   Awareness can be a VERY helpful tool to protect us against these behaviors.   What is Awareness?   Definition   knowledge or perception of a situation or fact. concern about and well-informed interest in a particular situation or development.   I particularly love the second definition.   “concern about and well-informed interest in a particular situation or development”   Concern: Sometime means anxiety or worry (but this is not the way I like to look at it) Also means interest   The goal is to take more interest in your surroundings or notice the atmosphere of your brain.   “well-informed interest in a particular situation or development”   Well informed: Rational, reasonable, objective If I think it, it must be true   Eg: “I can’t do this” (test, get up, stop a behavior that is problematic, get a new job, go to a party etc).   Thoughts without anxiety= no big deal Thoughts with fear/anxiety: Must be a sign of trouble to come   Being well informed allows us to identify what is a thought and what is a fact, despite what emotion or feeling it is coupled with.   Often, we have thoughts about events of developments that have not even occurred yet. We try to use our thinking as a way to confirm certainty or find the solution.   Let me ask you…   How successful and productive is your thinking about this not-yet-occurring situation?   Could there be peace in not going over every last detail of the possible disaster?   Are we using up THIS present moment to find solutions, without recognizing that RIGHT NOW is still and quiet and safe?   One of the main reasons we mentally ruminate is FEAR. It’s everywhere.   If you have fear, it may not feel safe, but your job is to watch how caught up you get with it.   Become more aware o

Fri, September 30, 2016

Episode #7 Self-Compassion

Self-Compassion is a helpful tool for managing shame and blame and negative self-talk.   It is particularly, in my experience, helpful for those struggling with OCD, Panic Disorder, Phobias, Health Anxiety, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors,  Eating Disorders and Depression. The Center for Mindful Self Compassion (centerformsc.org) describes self-compassion in the following way- “Self-compassion involves responding in the same supportive and understanding way you would with a good friend when you have a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself.” Self-compassion is Kindness,  Warmth, Gentleness and Care. When I talk about the practice of self-compassion, I use the metaphor that self-compassion washes away shame and blame like the rain washes away the dirt on our cars. As the rain gently falls, the dirt slowly falls away. Once the rain has come and gone, there is less heaviness and dirt on the car.   It is easier to see out the windows and now you can see the beautiful fields and trees that you pass on your way to work or school. A part of this metaphor includes this final sentiment.   Even though the rain has come and gone and the car is mostly cleansed of its dirt, there is still slight streaks of the dirt left behind. As much as I would love to say that self compassion will wash away all of the dirt and dust on the car, this is not realistic.   The tiny little streaks left behind is a reminder that compassion is a job that is never over. It must be practiced over and over, for the years to come. This podcast offers a meditation that uses the basics of Kristin Neff’s self compassion research, including the three elements of self compassion. For more info go to selfcompassion.org

Thu, September 01, 2016

Episode # 6: The Beginners Mind

This podcast discusses Uncertainty and how it exists on a spectrum, The Beginners Mind, Tools to manage anxiety and uncertainty, and the joys that curiosity provide.   A short meditation is offered at the end to help the listener practice these skills. 

Tue, July 26, 2016

Episode #5: Fear vs Bravery: Throwing the script away

Key Points from todays podcast!   What IS the difference between Fear and Bravery? Is someone who has social anxiety, who goes to the party, but is visibly anxious, fearful or brave? Is someone who has perfectionism, who finishes a text without going over and over the answers before turning it in? Is someone who is ashamed of his or her body and afraid of peoples rude comments, but goes to the party anyway in the dress or outfit they love fearful or brave?   My thoughts are….they are both.   Begin fearful is not a weakness.   Allowing there to be both allows for compassion and strength   Brene Brown “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen”   My definition of Bravery is the examples above. Having fear AND showing up.   Vulnerability is not a weakness. It is a measure of courage    Perfectionism is an attempt to avoid vulnerability with ourselves and others.   Go and be brave, while being afraid. Go and make friends with vulnerability   “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the BRAVEST thing that we will do”  Brene Brown The gifts of Imperfection   “Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy-the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” Brene Brown   

Thu, June 30, 2016

Episode #4: It's time for a parade

It's time for a parade!!!  Hello and welcome back!!! My name is Kimberley Quinlan and this is Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, speaking about anything and everything related to anxiety and mindfulness.  Today, in the spirit of the upcoming 4th of July, I wanted to talk about parades!! You know???? Floats and crowds and cheers and lollipops and picnic chairs.   For some, these are some of our greatest memories. I often use a parade as a metaphor for our thoughts. In fact, I have heard several different clinicians or teachers of eastern philosophy use a parade metaphor to discuss the experience of anxiety, pain, sadness or life, in general. As I said, for the purpose of this podcast, I am going to use the metaphor in relation to our thoughts.   Lets get straight to it, shall we???? First, I would like you to slowly take a deep breath. If you would like, you can close your eyes, but it is not entirely necessary for this activity.   Again, I would like you to take a breath and imagine yourself at the sidewalk of a street, waiting for a parade to begin. You are sitting or standing behind the yellow ribbon and you have your family and friends with you.   You also have your favorite flavored lollipop in your hand. The morning sun is gently shining of you and the crowd is excited.   This is a great day! You hear the music start and slowly, you to see the first float approach the crowd lined street.   It slowly approaches you and your friends are waiting patiently to see what it is about and who is on it.   As it gets closer and closer, you experience a sensation of satisfaction. This float it is very appealing and has all of your favorites colors and favorite flowers.   It is simply beautiful! You wave at the children and adults on the float and they smile back at you as they wave. Up next is a float made out of a trailer bed, with a racecar on it. This float is all about shine and muscle.   The surface of the car is so shiny, you could almost see your reflection in it. Even the trailer bed is sparkling and has sponsorship stickers all over it.   The drivers wave as they rev the car. It is invigorating, but a little loud. Still, you are having a great time. You wave to the two men and one woman on the float who are dressed in their racing outfits and then you slowly turn your head to see what is next. Coming up next is a very scary looking float. On it, is lots of people and they are yelling at all the spectators. Some a yelling very scary things and others are yelling very mean things. The float is covered in grey and black streamers and there is a cloud of smoke coming from the front of the float. You are surprised to see this float in the parade and wonder, “what is going on?” This float was significantly unpleasant and you angrily consider writing a letter to the parade committee to inquire about the purpose of this float at such a celebratory event.   The float comes and then moves down the street, sc

Mon, May 30, 2016

Episode #3 The 5 Sense Meditation

5 SENSES PODCAST Hello and welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit.   My name is Kimberley Quinlan.   A big part of my work as a therapist is to help clients tolerate fear and anxiety (or other forms of discomfort such as urges and sometimes pain), instead of doing compulsive behaviors.   In effort to keep this podcast short, I wont go into detail about compulsions. But, if you are wanting more information on compulsive behaviors related to specific anxiety disorders, eating disorders, or Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors, please go to my website under “Areas of specialty”   The reason I decided on this specific topic today is because of the common question asked by clients “If I choose NOT to do these compulsive behaviors, what should I do instead?”.   Well, I like to think of our experience in this life like looking through the lens of a camera. When we are anxious, we often ZOOM in on what is making us anxious or we zoom in to our sensations of anxiety. We FOCUS on the problem. We stay zoomed in, thinking this will solve it.   That makes sense, right? If we could just figure out how to solve the problem, we would then fix the problem, right?   But what if zooming in was not the solution. What if zooming OUT was the solution?? Hmmm, interesting right??   One of my favorite activities for clients (or for myself) when anxious or dealing with discomfort involves just becoming an observer. The following meditation is an exercise of this. It is a meditation of noticing. I like to call it “the 5 senses Mediation. I hope you enjoy it. And feel free to leave a comment in the comment section of the blog that accompanies this podcast.     OK, I want you to find a place where you can rest, preferably in sitting position, and take a deep breath.   And then another.   You are here because you probably are uncomfortable.     Something just happened that created a lot of anxiety or distress for you, - or maybe you just finished up doing an exposure.   I can imagine that you are experiencing some pretty uncomfortable feelings. Maybe your stomach is in knots.  Maybe you have a really tight chest or maybe a racing heart rate. Maybe your head is spinning, telling you to “make this anxiety or this feeling go away!” You know from experience that doing a compulsive behavior keeps you in the cycle of anxiety.   So instead, you are here, sitting with your discomfort.   Again, take a deep breath and congratulate yourself for how brave you are.     After another breath in…and then out, I want you to shift your gaze to your noticing mind. As you breathe in and out. I want you to close your eyes and just notice what it is like for your chest to rise and fall. Continue to breathe at a pace and depth that feels good for you as you observe.     Now, I want you to shift your attention to what you hear.   What sounds do you

Wed, April 27, 2016

Episode #2: Lovingkindness Meditation

Lovingkindness is a great way to create more compassion and self care in your life.   I was recently lucky enough to attend and present at the Trichotillomania Learning Center Annual Conference in Dallas for those who suffer Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors. The conference was filled with a beautiful group people who struggle with hair pulling and skin picking, two disorders that are grossly misunderstood and stigmatized in our culture.   What struck me over the long weekend was the incredible love between the attendees. There were tears and laughter and hugs and love shared between so many people from all over the world. On the last day, I could see that most of the tears were coming from the fact that they most would leave their conference family, where they were accepted, and return back to their lives, where they feel so alone and were no longer fully understood. I share this meditation in hope to create or continue an experience of love that that I felt so strongly during such a beautiful gathering. It is a loving kindness meditation that has helped me greatly when I feel alone or misunderstood and I hope it helps you also.

Thu, March 31, 2016

Episode #1: The Skill of Non-Judgment

The First and Second Arrow During this podcast, I hope to give you some tools to manage judgment, or what is sometimes called “the second arrow”.   My hope is that this podcast can help you have a more non-judgmental relationship with your body and your body’s experience of anxiety and discomfort.    Intended for those suffering OCD, Anxiety, Panic, Eating Disorders, Depression, Stress and worry.  NOTICING with Non Judgment: MEDITATION Take a long, deep breathe in.   And slowly exhale. Take another. As you breathe in and out, congratulate yourself for taking the time to do this. Just stopping and breathing can be difficult and uncomfortable when you are managing life, anxiety and stress. Good job! Again, take a nice deep breathe in and slowly exhale. If you find that taking a deep breathe is too uncomfortable, just breathe at a depth and pace that feels good for you. There is no “right” way to do this.  Now, I want you to continue to breathe in this fashion, but as you breathe, notice where in your body you feel discomfort. Is it in your chest? Your stomach? Your forehead? Your shoulders? Just do a quick inventory and just notice where your discomfort lies. Once you have identified the areas in which you are uncomfortable, I want you to practice just breathing while you notice these discomforts. Take some time to experience the discomfort.   Try to just be with it, without running away from it.   Again, good job. This is not easy. Now, as you notice where your discomfort lies, I now want you to notice if there are any judgments about your experience. These judgments come in the form of thoughts, such as “I cant do this” or “I shouldn’t be this anxious”. Maybe you are having the thought.. “this feeling is awful!” or “I hate that I feel this way and I shouldn’t have to feel this way” . You might start to compare yourself to others, having thoughts like “Most people don’t feel this way, something must be wrong with me”. These thoughts are all judgments.             Judgments are not facts.         They are usually a person’s personal reflection on an event, often subjective to their beliefs and views. They are often not true at all. When it comes to judgments, I love the Buddhist parable about the first and second arrow. This parable uses the metaphor that when we experience an event that causes discomfort in us, it is similar to being hit by an arrow.   In this case, we will call that first experience of discomfort “The first arrow”.   The first arrow is something that we cannot control and is challenging, even painful. If we were to look back at our experience at the beginning of this meditation, the “first arrow” would be the physical discomfort you noticed when you first did an inventory of your body. The second arrow is the judgment that we have about the discomfort we experienced. These judgments are often what reinforces the pain a