Adoptees Crossing Lines
In Adoptees Crossing Lines, I expose the lies and harm of the adoption industry and family policing system. As a Black same-race adoptee reclaiming my story, I challenge systems that profit from family separation. This podcast is truth-telling, healing, and anger intertwined. If you're ready for raw, unfiltered conversations about adoptee trauma and dismantling harmful systems, join me on this journey of reclamation.
Fri, April 11, 2025
Mutual Aid as Resistance: Building Systems of Care
In this solo episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines , Zaira dives deep into the power and necessity of mutual aid. Drawing from personal reflection, historical examples like the Black Panther Party and the Young Lords, and global efforts from Sudan to Florida, this episode highlights how mutual aid has always been about survival. Zaira explores how mutual aid rejects systems of exploitation and centers community care as a form of resistance—especially for marginalized communities continuously neglected by the state. In this episode, we cover: (00:20) What mutual aid is, how it differs from charity, and why it’s essential for survival. (05:13) Historical examples of mutual aid in action—from the Black Panther Party to the Young Lords. (12:35) How mutual aid shows up today across the globe and in local communities. (17:36) The call to practice mutual aid in our daily lives and how storytelling is a form of digital resistance. Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Listen to these episodes next: Community: A powerful solo episode exploring the importance of community for adoptees and system-impacted people—how it’s built, sustained, and why it’s critical for healing. Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing the podcast. To collaborate with her, email her at jwayedits@gmail.com.
Fri, March 28, 2025
Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy
Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira sits down with Alexandra, a British and American domestic transracial adoptee who grew up in her birth country of Hong Kong. Alexandra is the festival director of the Adoptee Film Fest , a global in-person and online film festival amplifying adoptee-centered films by adoptee filmmakers. They discuss her journey of navigating identity, community, and storytelling, and how the Adoptee Film Fest came to be. Alexandra shares her experience of growing up in a segregated society, her birth search, and the importance of creating adoptee-centered spaces in media. In this episode, we cover: (00:20) Introduction to Alexandra and her background as a British and American domestic transracial adoptee. (03:13) The impact of growing up in Hong Kong and navigating identity in a segregated society. (10:19) Alexandra’s birth search journey and the challenges of finding community and validation. (20:27) The inception of the Adoptee Film Fest and its importance for the adoptee community. (27:37) The role of storytelling and community building through film. (38:03) Alexandra’s reflections on adoptee representation in media and future plans for the Adoptee Film Fest. Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing the podcast. To collaborate with her, email her at jwayedits@gmail.com .
Fri, March 21, 2025
Root Work and Resilience: The Fight for Black Families
Root Work and Resilience: The Fight for Black Families In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines , Zaira sits down with Tamara and Tracey Robertson, sisters, healers, and advocates serving as Healers in Residence with Movement for Family Power. Together, they discuss their journey of resisting the harms of the family policing system, while centering Black birth traditions, ancestral wisdom, and community healing. From childhood foundations of faith and service to their powerful doula work, this conversation is a testament to the resilience and power of Black families protecting their own. In this episode, we cover: (03:03) What led Tamara and Tracey to do the healing work they do today. (07:41) Their introduction to the family policing system and how it fueled their advocacy. (16:02) Tamara’s story of caring for her brother and keeping him out of the system. (22:04) Doula work and challenges Black families face during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum care. (32:10) The erasure of Black birth traditions and the need for advocacy in hospital settings. (39:32) What it means to be a Healer in Residence with Movement for Family Power and disrupting the family policing system through love and community. Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Connect with Tamara Robertson: Instagram: @queeeentam Email: healer@movementforfamilypower.org Movement for Family Power: movementforfamilypower.org Listen to these episodes next: Alan’s Episode : An insightful conversation with Alan, an abolitionist and advocate deeply rooted in efforts to dismantle the family policing system. Alan shares their journey of understanding the harmful impacts of the system, their personal experiences, and their visi
S4 E3 · Fri, February 28, 2025
Adoption, Privilege, and the Stories We Tell w/ Patrick Armstrong
In this episode, we explore the complexities of adoption, privilege, and the narratives that shape our understanding of family. Through personal stories and critical reflections, we unpack the ways in which adoption is often framed as an unquestionable good while overlooking the systemic issues at play. We discuss the intersection of race, class, and power in adoption, the impact on adoptees, and the importance of centering their voices. This conversation challenges dominant narratives and invites listeners to consider the broader implications of adoption beyond individual experiences.
S4 E2 · Fri, February 14, 2025
Adoptee Identity & Research: Roots and Self-Discovery with Annalisa Toccara-Jones
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S4 E1 · Fri, January 24, 2025
Reflections on Grief, Healing, and Honoring My Mom
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Fri, July 12, 2024
The Role of Legal Advocacy in Family Reunification w/ Keshia Adeniyi
Send us a text Keshia The child welfare system is waging war on Black families, and Keshia Adeniyi-Dorsey is on the front lines. In this episode, she shares her journey from foster child to family defender, exposing the racist roots of CPS and the urgent need for change. Keisha breaks down her tactics for protecting families during CPS investigations, from refusing home entry to shutting down fishing expeditions. Her success rates are fantastic: 95.8% of parental rights protected and 93.7% of families reunified. "We already know, and we've already done in the past, like, right? Like, took care of ourselves, we took care of everybody else's kids too, right? We don't need the system to do it." What we discussed (00:23) Meet Keshia Adeniyi-Dorsey (01:37) Adoptions and Safe Families Act (06:08) Reality of CPS investigations (12:17) Protecting families during CPS investigations (17:11) Reuniting 93.7% of families (23:46) Challenges of advocating for families OR Dealing with incompetence (28:56) We don’t need police for that OR The color of the system OR Black families don’t need CPS OR We don’t need help OR Not everyone needs help (35:33) Affording counsel (43:39) Truth to power Links Connect with Keshia: Website | LinkedIn Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S3 E11 · Fri, June 28, 2024
Exploring Abolition, Intergenerational Trauma, and Creative Resistance w/ Benjamin Lundberg Torres Sánchez
Send us a text Benjamin Words matter. Especially when it comes to adoption. Benjamin Lundberg Torres Sanchez isn't just "adopted" - they were separated from their first family for 28 years. In this episode, we unpack how the language we use shapes our understanding of adoption. Benjamin shares their journey of rejecting industry terminology and embracing more accurate descriptions of their experience. We discuss how this shift in language opens up new possibilities for solidarity and political action. "I think it's just really important to name what happened to us." What we discussed (00:22) Who is Benjamin Lundberg Torres Sanchez? (01:41) Conceived in violence (04:58) Adoption day (07:23) Good experiences but still angry OR Good vs. bad adoptions (10:10) Learning to think critically about adoption OR Language of adoption (14:35) Being hungry for community OR Availability of light skinned children (18:56) Not only focusing on adoptees OR Adoptees are not alone (26:46) Organized abandonment (28:30) We Are Holding This Magazine (37:46) Intersectionality vs. isolation (44:12) Finding alternative power brokers OR Finding power brokers (48:14) Get curious (51:32) Support Benjamin Links We Are Holding This Magazine Benjamin’s website Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
S3 E10 · Fri, June 14, 2024
Unpacking Adoption w/ Henry: Identity, Community, and Healing
Send us a text Henry What happens when a Black child is adopted into a white Mormon family? The Mormon church silenced Henry's identity as a Black transracial adoptee, but he's done being quiet. From "colorblind" racism to the weight of forced gratitude, he exposes the ugly truth behind his adoption. We explore the impact of media representation, the importance of acknowledging adoptee anger, and why abolishing the current system might be the only way forward. Henry shares his journey of finding community with other adoptees and reclaiming his voice. "My life was really to fill this hole in my parents' life instead of my parents being there to raise children. What we discussed (00:22) Who is Henry? (01:48) Coming out of the fog (03:52) Adopted through the mormon church (06:34) Growing up with adopted sisters (08:26) Adoptees vs. adoptive parents on This is Us OR Adoptees vs. Adoptive parents on TV (13:23) Expectation of gratefulness OR “I want someone to love me” (20:26) Being allowed to feel & express (23:21) Alternatives to family policing OR Mind your own business (26:02) Relationship with adoptive parents while being abolitionist (32:27) Find your inner voice Links Black Adoptee Facebook Group Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S3 E9 · Fri, May 24, 2024
Adoption, Therapy, and Self-Discovery: Fai Knudson's Story
Send us a text Fai Knudson Fai Knudson grew up in a white, conservative town, always feeling different. As a biracial, transracial adoptee, Faye faced racism and isolation. Leaving their hometown ignited a journey of self-discovery, leading to advocacy and therapy focused on adoptee mental health. In this episode, Fai shares their powerful story, the challenges of being a transracial adoptee, and how they now help others navigate similar paths. What we discussed (00:18) Who is Fai Knudson? (04:05) Feeling different (05:32) Not allowed to read adoption paperwork (06:30) Coming out of the fog (09:11) Studying adoption for master’s (13:53) Adoptee therapists (21:32) Adoptee care is neglected (28:12) Story behind “Good Faith Therapy” (33:20) Support for adoptees (35:01) Genetic graveyard (36:24) Finding an adoptee affirming therapist (39:34) Partial reunion (47:54) Finding your authentic self Links Connect with Fai Knudson: LinkedIn Good Faith Therapy Website | Good Faith Therapy Instagram Peer Support Space Grow Beyond Words Journey of The Adopted Self Psychology Today Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram <
S3 E8 · Fri, May 10, 2024
Finding Freedom: Reflections on One Year of No Contact
Send us a text 1 Year of No Contact It's been 365 days since I cut ties with my adopters to protect myself. A year of healing, self-discovery, and finding my voice. In this episode, I share my no contact journey, the reasons behind my decision, the process of healing, and the freedom I’ve found. Hear my story of setting boundaries, seeking safety, and reclaiming my identity. What we discussed (00:24) 1 year of no contact (01:50) “but they’re your parents” OR Expectation to be grateful (04:17) How I felt after no contact (06:21) Family policing gaslit me (11:20) Forgiveness as a weapon (14:36) Becoming free, finally (18:01) Getting tattoos (& my favorite one) (20:26) Being able to grieve my mom (30:56) Healing by finding biological family (34:38) Stealing me from my mom (36:12) #1 reason for child removal (39:43) Why I do this work Links Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S3 E7 · Fri, April 26, 2024
Operation Stop CPS w/ Amanda Wallace
Send us a text Amanda Wallace Amanda Wallace helps families powerfully stop Child Protective Services from stealing their children. In this episode she talk about how you can do it too, how her organization reunited 20+ families, and why we should abolish the belief that the CPS system should even exist. Listen and let’s stop CPS. What we discussed (00:22) Who is Amanda Wallace? (01:25) Why she wants to stop CPS - Child Protective Services (05:16) Why are you in my house?! (06:32) Repealing the Child Abuse Prevention & Treatment Act + Adoption & Safe Familis Act (08:12) How to respond to CPS (11:29) Reuniting 20 families (15:32) Reparations are not enough (18:08) Black Mother’s March (Collective power) (23:07) Drug testing a birth & Interrogating children (24:42) Creative collabs for collective action (26:50) How can you stop CPS? (33:07) Freedom can happen in our lifetime OR Freedom is not complicated Links Respond In Power Guide Black Mother’s March Twisted Yogi Connect with Amanda Wallace: Stop CPS Website | Instagram | Tiktok Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S3 E6 · Fri, April 12, 2024
Adoption is not a part of God's plan
Send us a text Adoption is Not A Part Of God’s Plan People who adopt say it’s God’s plan for them to adopt. But, they almost never say that God’s plan is for them NOT to have children. This is just one of the many ways people use religion to justify human trafficking. I found out, through an archived article, that I was trafficked by the Church through the One Church, One Child movement which operates in 32 states. What we discussed (00:22) Is adoption God’s plan? (04:23) Forcing adoptees to go to church OR “Go to church or leave” (11:53) Making adoptees mini versions of them (13:04) Telling my adoptive parents I’m stepping away from the church (14:51) One Church, One Child business (20:36) The church trafficked me (28:39) Orphan sundays (30:07) Church preaches family separation (hypocritical?) (34:24) Forced assimilation (36:13) Adoption is not God’s plan Links Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S3 E5 · Fri, March 22, 2024
Mila's Truth: Navigating Adoption, Liberation, and Community
Send us a text Mila's Truth: Navigating Adoption, Liberation, and Community The Church does an excellent job of silencing you if you oppose them. They’d even hire a marketing company to rebrand adoption so that their business as adoption middlemen can continue to thrive. But, it’s not just the Church. The dominant culture is to silence anyone who speaks up against adoption. To make them feel shame. To gaslight them. That was Mila Konomos’ experience once she realized how adoption has wounded her. Mila tells her story of how she was forcibly removed from her family in 1975 to the realization in 2009 that everything she thought she knew about adoption was a lie. She discusses how reuniting with her biological parents changed everything, how similar she realized she was hto her bio parents, grappling with her identity, the power of speaking up, and the cultural resistance against accepting the truth about adoption. Mila is the host of the podcast called Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie. “If you don't change the narrative, then you can't change the policies.” What we discussed (00:22) Who is Mila Kanomos? (01:39) Being a (clueless) grateful adoptee (04:25) Realizing I’m actually wounded (06:00) “You had this information all of my life?!” (08:24) The Last Unicorn (12:55) Terrified of opposing adoption publicly (15:50) The Church is complicit (18:23) Propaganda around adoption (19:38) Surviving reunion (22:04) How do I become Korean? (25:39) Biological traits & connections (30:55) Everything you know about adoption is a lie (36:43) Church PAID to rebrand adoption (41:03) Centering adoptee narratives (44:47) Adoption IS oppression (49:03) What can you do about this? (55:51) You already know who you are Links Everything You Think You Know About Adoption Is A Lie Podcast Child Catchers by Catherine Joyce Connect with Mila: Instagram </stro
S3 E4 · Fri, March 08, 2024
My Journey to Abolition
Send us a text My Journey To Abolition Every adult in my childhood has failed me, none of them did what they’re supposed to. Every part of the system failed me…it did exactly what it’s supposed to. The system kills children and breaks families, it must be abolished. In this episode, I share how I gradually evolved towards this deep belief starting from a school trip to juvie when I was just 10. I talk about my encounters with the family policing system growing up and how it failed me. My story is not an is not an anomaly or an isolated incident. This is the experience of many children who are victims of the family policing system that they carry with them through adulthood. Abolition is a journey toward collective liberation, this is my journey so far… [CW: Sexual and Physical Abuse] What we discussed (00:22) Taking a trip to juvie at 10 years old (03:42) The system is NOT broken (04:42) [CW] Punished for speaking up about abuse (07:30) Losing faith in adoption, police, and the system OR My first encounter with family policing system (10:32) Going to school with bruises on my arm OR “You had a really good school year because DCF did not show up at my door” OR DCF shows up, I’m a disappointment OR DCF gets me in trouble (16:41) My adopters’ public facade OR Where my skepticism started OR Losing respect for authority (19:10) Suffering through therapy (21:40) Who are they protecting? OR Abolition is the only option (25:54) The system doesn’t care about children [CW: school shootings] OR They let alligators eat black babies (true story) (31:45) My journey with queerness OR Queers in evangelical homes Links Learn more about abolition: Alan Dettlaff Episode | Torn Apart by Dorothy Roberts Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System By Alan Dettlaff 13th Documentary | <stron
S3 E3 · Fri, February 23, 2024
Navigating Change: A Conversation with Josh Lamers, Co-founder of Collective of Child Welfare Survivors
Send us a text Josh Lamers Adoption is trauma. How do we help surviving children heal the wounds they’ve sustained from the child welfare system? Josh Lamers, a transracial adoptee, is public enemy #1 for child welfare agencies in Canada. He joins the show to discuss what adoption and child welfare are like in Canada; and how his organization, Collective of Child Welfare Survivors, advocates for child welfare survivors though addressing harm reduction, counseling, unpacking racial displacement, and community development…amongst many other things. “The child who's now back in your home is not the same child who was taken out of your home.” What we discussed (00:21) Who is Josh Lamers? (01:57) His transracial adoption experience OR “My adoption was illegal” (08:51) How child welfare works in Canada OR Adoption system in Canada (13:47) Insights from studying adoption OR What’s wrong with research about adoption (23:51) Psychiatric system and adoption (26:26) Disability and adoption (and why Josh’s adoption was illegal) (32:22) Myth of “unmanageable kids” (34:05) How they advocate for child welfare survivors (45:50) How to support child advocacy work Links Outsiders Within Collective of Child Welfare Survivors: Donate Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S3 E2 · Fri, February 09, 2024
Adoptees & Community
Send us a text Adoptees & Community Before I found other adoptees online I was lost. I wanted to know where I came from, and I wanted to know others like me. Most adoption communities center adoptive parents and foster parents. We are left out of the picture. This doesn’t make sense. This episode is a collection of my thoughts on this matter. “One of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves is by building communities of resistance; places where we know we are not alone.” - Bell Hooks What we discussed (00:23) Healing power of community (04:41) Feeling disillusioned by my adoption (05:59) My adopters in public vs. at home (what people don’t know about adoptive parents) (07:55) Grassroots communities vs. government agencies (08:57) If only my mom had community support (11:39) Looking for spaces with adoptees OR I didn’t know other adoptees (15:06) Struggling with suicidal ideation (18:35) Belonging nowhere (20:38) What binds the adoptee community together Links Race, Gender, and Cultural Politics by Bell Hooks Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S3 E1 · Thu, January 25, 2024
Confronting the Racist Legacy of the Child Welfare System w/ Alan Dettlaff
Send us a text Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System It was when Alan arrived at a home with the cops to remove a child and heard his mother say “Charles, run, they're coming to take you and they're going to sell you to the white people” that he realized how the trauma of slavery cannot be disentangled from the trauma of family separation. It was in this moment that he realized the harm he’s done to many families and decided to take a different path. Today, Alan Dettlaff is an abolitionist and co-founder of the upEND Movement. In this episode we explore the racist legacy of the child welfare system through discussing Alan’s book Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System: The Case for Abolition . What we discussed (00:23) Who is Alan Dettlaff? (01:35) Removing children from their families OR He was complicit (04:16) Why reforms don’t work (and what does) (08:32) Why the family policing system is racist (14:31) What’s wrong with mandatory reporting laws? (20:23) Trump’s Zero Tolerance Policy (23:58) People wanted to end family separations previously (25:25) Everyday acts of abolition (that you can do) (31:55) Social workers and the abolitionist movement (35:06) “Run, they’re going to sell you to white people” OR Trauma of slavery vs. trauma of family separations (38:19) Learning more from Alan Dettlaff Links Alan Dettlaff’s book: Confronting the Racist Legacy of the American Child Welfare System: The Case for Abolition Upend Movement: Donate | Podcast Torn Apart by Dorothy Roberts Abolitionist Perspectives In Social Work Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagra
S2 E11 · Fri, November 10, 2023
Unveiling Roots: The Journey of Gregory D. Luce, Attorney and Advocate for Adoptee Rights
Send us a text Unveiling Roots: The Journey of Gregory D. Luce, Attorney and Advocate for Adoptee Rights Us adoptees have to pay thousands of dollars and jump through hoops to unseal our records. This robs us of autonomy, dignity, and equality. Gregory D. Luce is an attorney who helps adoptees all across the US go through this hurdle. In this episode we discuss Greg’s personal adoption journey that made him so passionate about adoptee rights. We also discuss the important work that he does around adoptee records through his organizations the Adoptee Rights Law Center and Adoptees United. What we discussed (00:22) Baby scoop era (03:07) Was never “in the fog” (05:14) Divorce of his adoptive parents (06:17) Pay $500 to find no records?? (07:20) Finding his mom coincidentally (08:23) Establishing the Adoptee Rights Law Center (10:58) Inheriting his mom’s records and belongings (14:25) What restrictions are in YOUR state? (16:54) Adoption records issue for non-US adoptions and illegal adoptions (20:16) What are baby boxes? (21:52) Adoption after abolition (what will it look like?) OR You can’t end adoption (25:58) Why accessing adoption records matters (27:36) What do Adoptees United do? (31:30) Adoptee causes need MONEY (34:28) Future of adoptee rights (38:07) How to support Greg’s work Links Adoptee Rights Law Center Adoptees United Donate to Adoptees United Dorothy Roberts Connect with Gregory D. Luce: Twitter Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok
S2 E10 · Fri, October 27, 2023
Torn Apart: How the Child Welfare System Destroys Black Families--and How Abolition Can Build a Safer World
Send us a text Torn Apart: How the Child Welfare System Destroys Black Families--and How Abolition Can Build a Safer World More than anyone else, black women get their children kidnapped by the state, by the child “welfare system”. This episode is about the whys and hows of abolishing a system built to strip families away from their children. Through discussing Torn Apart by Dr. Dorothy Roberts , we examine the history and laws that have led to the birth of armed and violent social workers. We also explore the many opportunities around how transformative justice can save lives. “Hope is a discipline” - Mariame Kaba What we discussed (00:23) Black women’s childbearing is devalued (04:29) What’s family policing? (07:21) Weaponising child removal (14:25) Alternative to the child welfare system? (19:03) A law that strips away black mothers’ rights, FAST (33:53) From adoption to murder-suicide (35:45) Armed social workers? (tragic family policing stories) (47:48) Is abolition helpful or harmful to children? (56:33) How to reimagine the system Links Torn Apart by Dr. Dorothy Roberts Shattered Bonds We were once a family by Roxanna Asgarian JMACforFamilies upEND Movement Movement for Family Power Connect with Dr. Dorothy Roberts: Twitter Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on
S2 E9 · Fri, October 13, 2023
Embracing Identity: John's Journey of Self-Discovery
Send us a text Reuniting with his birth family showed John McCormick, a transracial adoptee, a new world. He physically felt a relaxation he had never felt before, he connected with music and art like never before, and he started to own who he is - confidently - even when others denied his identity. This is the story of how John’s reunion with his bio family was a healing journey that led him to reclaim an identity he was stripped of. What we discussed (00:26) Finding his family because of a coincidence OR Having his original birth certificate (06:08) I’m not Irish, I’m Colombian OR Loneliness of having a lost identity OR Who am I, even? (10:05) Strange feelings after meeting his family OR Deciding to move to Colombia (13:54) Reconnecting with music and art (19:06) Getting confident about his identity OR Confidently reclaiming his identity (despite the haters) (24:48) Working with his therapist (28:48) How his adoptive family feels about him reconnecting with his bio family (32:17) Preparing to meet your bio family Links Colombian Influence Podcast Wisdom and Nonsense Podcast Grow Heal Blossom Connect with John McCormick: Website Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S2 E8 · Fri, September 22, 2023
Emily's Journey: Identity, Language Learning, and Adoption Realities
Send us a text Emily's Journey: Identity, Language Learning, and Adoption Realities After 9 months of living with monks, Emily Harris was adopted from China. She was left behind by her bio family due to the One Child Policy. To process her loss of identity, she has started to learn Chinese with a community of adoptees. In this episode, she talks about how language learning helps, why she wishes she was white, and the hardships of being a Chinese adoptee in the US. What we discussed (00:24) Getting adopted from China (07:18) Pandemic racism (09:29) Processing identity loss through language learning (11:24) Not wanting to share the language with non-adoptees (15:10) Belonging nowhere (20:58) One child policy (23:43) Distance created by religion (27:02) Reckoning with being chinese OR “I want to be white” (31:40) The note her birth family left her (35:22) For adoptees learning their bio language… (38:23) Connect with Emily Links Language Travel Adoptee on YouTube Language Wellness and Identity Podcast Connect with Emily Harris: Instagram | Twitter Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S2 E7 · Fri, September 08, 2023
Adoption Trauma, Mental Health, and Suicide Risk with Lina Vanegas
Send us a text Lina Though Lina Vanegas was born to a Colombian family, she was forced to assimilate as a white jewish person. 38 years later, she’s unable to fully connect with her bio family nor speak their language. Forced assimilation is trauma. Her mission is to educate people on adoption trauma. In the episode, she gives a crash course on why adoption is trauma, what to do if you want to adopt in a trauma-informed way, and how to go down the rabbit hole of being adoption-trauma informed. What we discussed (00:32) Can you make up for 38 years of loss? (05:08) Forced assimilation in childhood (07:11) Can’t speak my own language (09:14) Rescripting the narrative (10:31) If you’re thinking of adopting, do THIS. (20:05) Why she’s educating the public (24:42) Adoption is preventable trauma OR Mental health and adoption (28:07) Suicide among adoptees OR Why is adoption trauma? [EXPLAINED] (31:57) Intervention for adoptees (38:07) Finding an adoption-competent therapist [HOW-TO] (42:00) Educate yourself (43:50) Connect with Lina Vanegas Links Rescripting The Narrative Podcast Adopted From Colombia Facebook Group Dorothy Roberts researcher The Child Catchers by Katherine Joyce Connect with Lina Vanegas: Instagram | Twitter Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S2 E6 · Fri, August 25, 2023
Navigating the Complex World of Adoption: Unveiling Azriel June's Journey
Send us a text Navigating the Complex World of Adoption: Unveiling Azriel June's Journey They were told they’re white. They aren’t. They were told they’re Jewish. They aren’t. They tried to erase her heritage over and over again. They couldn’t…so they “gave her back”. This is the story that explains how US adoptions human rights violations - they’re genocide. This is Azriel’s story - a transcultural adoptee from a loving first family who has been systemically preyed upon by the adoption industry. TW: Sexual Assault “The worst part about the secrecy was that I knew I was being lied to. And not by, you know, my friends or some girl in middle school or something, but by the people who were supposed to be my parents.” What we discussed (00:40) Azriel, an adoption abolitionist (01:27) A whole family traumatized by adoptions OR Azriel’s adoption story (06:02) Erasing my heritage OR No idea who I am… (08:32) Mindf*cked OR From someone’s garbage to someone’s blessing (11:26) Illegal adoption OR Renting me for my “cute” years OR Getting illegally adopted (12:52) My mom and grandma’s traumas (16:28) Is adoption generosity? OR Is adoption selfless? OR Is adoption a better life? (21:37) Living a literal lie OR Why am I not good enough to know the truth? (24:59) Why I think my adoption was illegal (27:52) What I wish they did instead OR 1 call would’ve changed my life (29:46) Becoming an abolitionist (31:10) Family policing is genocide (34:51) Community is lifesaving OR “Twitter was as angry as me” OR Community saved my life Links Finding Cleo Podcast This Land Podcast The Girls Who Went Away Connect with Azriel: Twitter Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at
S2 E5 · Fri, August 11, 2023
Navigating No Contact: Adoptees' Journeys to Healing
Send us a text Should you cut off your adoptive parents? Should you “go no contact” with your adoptive parents? “Oh hell no. Not this time. I’m done.” That’s what we felt before cutting off contact with your adoptive parents. Sometimes, the healthies thing we can do is to go no contact with our adoptive parents. Escaping abuse. Escaping racism. Escaping pain. In this episode we share what made us go no contact, discuss what it’s like, and share our personal advice to adoptees considering going no contact. What we discussed (00:34) What is “going no contact” (01:27) Dr. Noelle’s no contact story (07:45) The first time I heard the N-word (08:23) Lia’s no contact story (14:45) The “I’m DONE” moment (17:27) Cost of going no contact (20:55) The huge disconnect (23:57) What does it take to go no contact? (25:58) Going no contact WHILE raising kids OR Greatest fear OR What to do if your children talk to you about your mistakes (34:01) On the fence about going no contact? OR Should you go no contact? Links Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S2 E4 · Fri, July 28, 2023
Reclaiming Identity: Dr. Amy Ritterbusch on International Adoption & Abolition
Send us a Text Message. Reclaiming Identity: Dr. Amy Ritterbusch on International Adoption & Abolition Dr. Amy Ritterbusch was stolen from Colombia as a child and forced to live in the United States with her adoptive family. Foreign land, foreign people, foreign language. But, her longing for where she came from and who she came from never died. She spent the rest of her life trying to find her way back home. In this episode, we discuss international adoption and less violent alternatives to it. We talk about the complicitness of the state in imposing this violence and how guilt is weaponized to catalyze international adoption. Dr. Amy Ritterbusch is an Assistant Professor of Social Welfare at UCLA Luskin School of Public Affairs “So instead of criminalizing mothers in need, how do we create support systems so that decisions are not imposed? Rather folks can, can sort of make decisions in, in situations of care and not in situations of repression or violence.” Dr. Amy Ritterbusch What I shared (00:38) Stolen from Colombia as a child (03:52) Healing through work (06:25) Meeting her biological mom (under supervision of the state) (13:34) State violence and adoption (19:38) Always an outsider, belonging nowhere OR Forced presence (24:22) Building systems that repair harm (28:17) Alternatives to international adoption (33:24) Finding and mourning where you came from (36:51) Connect with Dr. Amy Links Connect with Dr. Amy: Amy Ritterbusch | Latino Policy & Politics Institute (ucla.edu) Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S2 E3 · Fri, July 14, 2023
Navigating Holidays as an Adoptee: Exploring Complex Emotions and Self-Care
Send us a text Navigating Holidays as an Adoptee: Exploring Complex Emotions & Self Care For adoptees, holidays mean performance. Acting like you care, acting like you’re happy, acting like you’re grateful. And if you don’t perform, then you live in guilt. It’s ironic, because adoption itself is an act. Join us as we explore this and discuss what holidays are like for us adoptees. What we discussed (00:38) Father’s day for adoptees (08:01) Mother’s day for adoptees (11:15) Creating your own holiday traditions (13:46) Thanksgiving and christmas for adoptees (16:38) Always in debt (18:29) “Performing” Christmas (20:14) Ruining the vibe (21:00) Not invited (24:46) Doing your own thing (25:39) Birthdays for adoptees (29:47) The most f*cked up holiday OR Gotcha Day (33:37) Advice to adoptive families about holidays OR Question for adoptive families OR What every adoptive family must answer Links Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S2 E2 · Fri, June 23, 2023
Challenging Adoption Norms and Embracing Queer Parenting: A Conversation with Yomi
Send us a text Adoptee Origin Story: Ayomide Bee Is Adoption Human Trafficking? With Ayomide Bee Selling children is human trafficking, so why isn’t adoption considered human trafficking? It’s state-sanctioned trafficking with a paper trail. Ayomide Bee shares her adoption story as a queer transracial adoptee. Her take is not only that same-sex couples shouldn’t adopt - but that adoption should be abolished. Listen to her origin story & views. “Just because it's legal doesn't mean that it's not trafficking. Slavery was legal. The residential homes were legal. Legality doesn't mean a goddamn thing.” - Ayomide Bee What We Discussed (00:31) Story of Ayomide Bee (02:32) Always being the topic of conversation OR Knowing yourself by how people talk about you OR Our story = other people’s stories of us? (04:23) Coming out of the fog OR Finding wonky stuff in the adoption paperwork (05:22) Being forced into adoption (08:07) Decision to go no contact (12:13) How she wants her adoptive parents to take accountability (14:15) Should same-sex couples adopt? (19:58) Is adoption human trafficking? (25:24) Adoption alternatives (28:48) Relationship w/bio grandma (who suggested adoption) OR Anger toward grandma (37:19) What does abolishing adoption look like? (40:30) Connecting with Ayomide Links Connect With Ayomide: Instagram | Substack Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/drumaboyiglobal/?igshid=NTdlMDg3MTY%3D"
S2 E1 · Fri, June 09, 2023
Activism & Origin Story: Erica Babino
Send us a text Activism For Adoptees With Erica Babino What’s it like to be an activist for adoptees? What’s the story of someone who is an adoptees activist? How would you feel if you discovered that your bio mom lives on your street, after you’ve been searching for her for 25 years? This week, we speak to Erica Babino a Black same race adoptee who is a former American Adoption Congress Board Member. We discuss if it’s possible to ever separate your identity from being adopted, adoption myths, and how to normalize anti-adoption. What We Discussed (00:31) An adoptees’ rights activist, Erica Babino (01:08) Her origin story OR 25 years of searching (04:04) Do you ever stop feeling adopted? (06:36) The moment she met her bio mom OR First bio meeting = no tears, no hugs? (09:32) Do good adoption families also cause trauma? (13:12) Most important thing adoptive parents must do (14:43) Experience as an American Adoption Congress board member (19:01) Right to a birth certificate (21:18) How to be an adoptees activist (24:10) Going through reunion OR Can’t prepare for reunion (26:30) Best advice for birth families Links Adoptees United American Adoption Congress Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
Bonus · Tue, May 30, 2023
A Bittersweet Farewell: Reflecting on Season One and Embracing Self-Care
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S1 E12 · Fri, April 28, 2023
Dr. Noelle's Origin Story: A Journey of Adoption, Identity, and Reunion
Send us a text Adoptee Origin Story: Dr. Noelle Two white people raised me, an African American child. I’m Dr. Noelle and this is the secret-filled story of my adoption after being an orphan in Texas. What we discussed (00:00) Cosplaying as adoptees? (01:35) The stories I was told (05:30) My abusive adoptive mother (06:15) Taking a DNA test to find my family (09:42) They didn’t know I existed (15:39) Whole for the first time in my life (17:03) My bio mom’s origin story (21:35) Uncomfortable being mothered (26:43) What would’ve been… Links Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S1 E11 · Fri, April 14, 2023
Navigating Adoption and Rediscovering Family: Lia's Journey
Send us a text Navigating Adoption and Rediscovering Family: Lia's Journey I’m Lia and this is my adoptee origin story from foster care to reuniting with my siblings. What I shared (01:02) What I was told about my bio parents (02:18) What actually happened (04:59) My adoptive parents (05:34) My birth father’s side of the story (06:36) My access to adoption information (10:04) Accessing my biological family name (12:33) Meeting my siblings (19:49) Aspirations for biological relationships (21:47) What I tell people about my background (25:21) What’s medical foster care? (26:35) Death of my foster mom (Ms. Loretta) & my bio mom Links Lia’s LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/liaepps Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S1 E10 · Fri, March 24, 2023
Exploring the Impact of Adoption on Mental Health: Insights from Adoptees
Send us a text Exploring the Impact of Adoption on Mental Health: Insights from Adoptees Why adoptees are more likely to attempt suicide Trigger Warning: Suicide, Suicidal ideation, Involuntary hospitalization Adoptees are 4x more likely to commit suicide, in this episode we unpack why that is. Being an adoptee is a lifelong sentence, we have to cosplay as someone else’s child, we belong almost nowhere - and on top of all that, we invest emotional labor educating therapists about our mental health. Throughout the episode, we answer questions you’ve asked us on Twitter about adoptee mental health. “To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.” - James Baldwin What we discussed (00:00) Content Warning (00:47) Should the state fund adoptee therapy? (02:21) Cosplaying as someone else’s child (07:40) Why adoptees struggle with mental health (11:31) Why holidays suck for us (13:23) Does sharing our experiences help? (19:26) The anger inside of us (24:07) Finding an adoptee-competent therapist OR Finding a therapist that understands adoption OR Finding a therapist you don’t have to teach (29:10) What works (other than therapy)? (32:57) Societal gaslighting against adoptees Links Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Learn more about Lia Adoptee Therapists: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/ Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S1 E9 · Fri, March 10, 2023
Navigating Parenthood as Adoptees: Insights from Dr. Noelle and Tosha
Send us a text Adoptees as parents Parenting as an adoptee What’s it like when you’re adopted and then become a parent? We discuss the unexpected joys and reliefs of parenting, the mistakes we were almost programmed to make, how parenting can heal us, how to tell your children you’re adopted, and being careful about not placing a burden on our children that they aren’t equipped to carry. PS: If it isn’t clear yet, we would never put our children up for adoption. What we discussed (00:00) How being an adoptee affects the way you parent OR Adoptee parenting patterns (05:46) Being a helicopter mom (07:16) “No way I was putting my child up for adoption” (08:47) Late discovery adoptees (11:29) Telling your kids you’re adopted (16:34) Are adoptees better parents? (20:51) Disadvantages of being an adopted parent OR Biggest regret as an adopted parent (25:57) Parenting and healing (31:15) Greatest joy of parenting (33:55) Advice for adoptive parents (35:31) Legacy Links Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Learn more about Lia Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S1 E8 · Fri, February 24, 2023
Identity & Adoption
Identity & Adoption Episode Description: In this episode, we dive into the complex topic of identity and how it intersects with adoption. We discuss how adoption severs connections to identity, the disconnection adoptees feel, the complications of biological family searches, and the struggle to reconcile our identities with the information we discover. This episode covers: (00:49) How adoptees define identity and the struggle of reclaiming it (02:17) The impact of finding out you were adopted on identity and self-esteem (05:37) The feeling of disconnection and not having a clear sense of identity (09:50) Reunion journeys, DNA testing, and the search for answers (18:51) How others label adoptees and the difficulty of being fluid in identity (24:36) The power dynamics in identity decisions and how society shapes them (32:12) The harmful impact of altered birth certificates and erasure of identity Call To Action: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Resource: Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. Register here . Work With Me: Email: adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by Samuel Oyedele: Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com.
S1 E8 · Fri, February 10, 2023
Exploring Blackness and Adoption: Navigating Identity and Challenges
Blackness & Adoption Episode Description: In this episode, we discuss the unique and often challenging experience of being a Black adoptee. We explore the intersection of Blackness and adoption, the harmful impact of transracial adoption, how the adoption industry profits from Black children, and the ways in which Black adoptees navigate identity, culture, and trauma. This episode covers: (00:29) Introduction to Blackness and Adoption (03:50) The cost difference between Black and white children in the adoption industry (07:41) The transactional nature of adoption and dehumanization of Black children (12:41) The intentional erasure of Black identity in transracial adoptions (15:02) Experiences of internalized racism and coming into Black identity (20:20) How adoption perpetuates slavery-like dynamics and ownership of children (25:01) Reclaiming Blackness and identity as a Black adoptee Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Resource: Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. Register here . Work With Me: Email: adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by Samuel Oyedele: Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com.
S1 E7 · Thu, February 09, 2023
An Open Letter to the People who Bought Me
Send us a text An open letter to the people who bought me Yesterday I decided to text my adoptive parents that they failed me as parents, it was the first time I ever confronted them. I talk about how they responded in this episode and open up about being sexually assaulted as a child…then gaslighted. This was never my burden to carry, but they always blamed me. They used religion as a guise to avoid responsibility. Instead of risking the possibility of ruining their image, they chose to definitely ruin my life. This episode is an open letter to my adoptive parents, the people who bought me. “Shame dies when we tell our story” What we discussed (00:00) What happened yesterday OR What I texted my adoptive parents OR Telling my adoptive parents they failed me (01:52) No one believed I was sexually assaulted OR Being sexually assaulted was MY fault???! (06:45) They were EDUCATORS (08:06) Should child protective services be abolished? OR Abolishing child protective services? OR Why I’m an abolitionist (09:42) Olivia Atkocaitis’ story (11:02) How the police failed me before I was born OR The police system is not broken. (14:22) My parents were cowards OR I’m relieved he died (17:38) Standing up to my parents for the first time (20:15) How they responded (25:36) Why I sent the text (28:39) Own your story Links Olivia Atkocaitis’ Story on NBC Follow us on social media: Twitter | Instagram | Tiktok Learn more about Lia Credits Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast, support his work on Instagram or e-mail him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com
S1 E6 · Fri, January 27, 2023
Navigating Relationships as an Adoptee
Navigating Relationships as an Adoptee Description: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Noelle, Lia, and Tosha explore the complexities of navigating relationships as adoptees. From dating to friendships and family dynamics, they discuss how adoption trauma, abandonment issues, and people-pleasing tendencies impact their ability to connect with others. The conversation delves into why adoptees may struggle to feel secure in relationships and why educating partners and friends is so important. They also provide advice for those looking to build healthy relationships with adoptees. In this episode, we cover: (01:03) Sharing adoption status with partners and how it affects relationships. (03:25) Lia discusses the difficulty of explaining estranged family relationships. (04:05) Noelle reflects on fear of abandonment and its impact on introducing partners to family. (06:26) The burden of educating partners and the need for them to educate themselves. (07:51) Noelle’s positive experience of having a partner who actively learns about adoption. (09:16) The struggle of being a people pleaser due to adoption trauma. (12:22) Lia’s struggle to believe people truly care about her and feeling disposable. (14:17) Noelle’s difficulty with bonding and having few deep relationships. (15:45) The pressure to constantly put others first and ignore one's own needs. (18:08) Noelle struggles to assert herself and avoid making others uncomfortable. (19:05) Lia’s experience with friends not understanding how deeply adoption affects her. (21:02) Lia’s attempt to address trauma with her adoptive parents and how it went poorly. (22:55) The challenge of confronting adoptive parents about trauma and lack of accountability. (24:51) The most challenging aspects of navigating relationships as an adoptee. (28:08) Advice for those looking to build healthy relationships with adoptees. Call To Action: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Resource: Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. <a href="https://www.movementforfamilypower.org/calendar/peer-supp
S1 E5 · Fri, January 13, 2023
Unveiling Adoption's Dark Realities: Saviorism and Adoptive Parents' Narcissism
Saviorism, Narcissism, and the Adoption Industry Episode Description: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Noelle, Lia, and Tosha discuss adoption as it relates to saviorism and narcissism, particularly in the context of adoptive parents. They explore how saviorism centers the adoptive parents while disregarding the child's needs and how adoption as an industry upholds harmful power dynamics. This conversation highlights the common thread of narcissism found in many adoptive parents' experiences and questions the standards of evaluating prospective adoptive parents. Additionally, they discuss how family separation is upheld as a means to create a 'better life' for children, rather than providing resources to preserve families. In this episode, we cover: (00:33) Defining Saviorism and Its Connection to Adoption. (03:11) The Profitable Nature of the Adoption Industry. (04:10) Adoption Framed as a “Good Home” vs. “Bad Home.” (05:06) Transracial Adoption and the White Savior Complex. (06:05) The Harmful Narratives of 'Saving' Black Children. (07:02) The Biases in Adoption Systems Against Black & Brown Families. (09:00) The Role of Narcissism in Adoption. (11:52) Emotional Burden on Adoptees and the Need for Support. (13:38) Infertility and Narcissistic Patterns in Adoption. (14:37) The Carceral Nature of the Child Welfare System. (17:26) The Manipulation of 'Selflessness' in Adoption Narratives. (20:05) Understanding Adoption Trauma. Call To Action: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Resource: Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. Register here. Work With Me: Email: adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by Samuel Oyedele: Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com .
S1 E4 · Fri, December 23, 2022
Why We’re Not Grateful
Why We’re Not Grateful Description: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines , Noelle, Lia, and Tosha dive into the complicated and often misunderstood topic of gratitude within the adoption experience. They discuss why the expectation of gratefulness placed upon adoptees is harmful and how it serves to silence their pain and experiences. The conversation explores the disconnect between the adoption community and the adoptee community, the harsh realities adoptees face, and why they refuse to conform to the narrative of being “grateful” for family separation. In this episode, we cover: (01:06) The difference between the adoption community and the adoptee community. (04:26) Questioning the expectation of gratitude for being separated from family. (07:22) Challenging the societal narrative of adoptees needing to be grateful. (09:16) Leah’s powerful reflection on surviving abuse within her adoptive family. (10:42) The failure of social workers and the child welfare system to truly protect children. (14:30) The lifelong sentence of being an adoptee and its impact on identity. (15:00) The carceral nature of the child welfare system and how it fails families. (17:24) The dismissal of birthright and the hurtful expectation of adoptees to be grateful. (18:46) The inconsistency of adoption practices within families. (19:41) The absence of emotional support and how it impacts adoptee experiences. (27:49) Tasha’s observation on the narcissism and unpreparedness of adoptive parents. Call To Action: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Resource: Peer Support Space - A free global online peer support group for those who survived the system as kids. Register here . Work With Me: Email: adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by Samuel Oyedele: Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at Drumaboyiglobal@gmail.com.
S1 E3 · Fri, December 09, 2022
Adoption & Reunion: Finding Family, Healing Wounds
Adoption & Reunion: Finding Family, Healing Wounds In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Lia, Noelle, and Tosha discuss the complexities of reunion and how reconnecting with biological family members can bring both healing and heartbreak. They share personal stories of searching for family, facing rejection, embracing acceptance, and navigating the emotional toll of reunion. With candid insights and thoughtful advice, they explore the ups and downs of finding their families and making sense of their experiences. In this episode, we cover: (00:05) Introduction to the episode and listener submission about reunion. (01:03) Defining reunion and how it differs for each adoptee. (02:54) Personal reunion stories and unique family dynamics. (08:10) Navigating expectations and working with therapists. (11:04) The pain of rejection and the fear of abandonment. (14:24) Feeling like a disruption and finding acceptance. (19:13) How grief and reunion are intertwined. (23:32) The importance of support groups and adoption-competent therapy. (29:26) Hopes for the future and continuing the reunion journey. (32:52) Advice for those starting their own reunion journey. Resources Mentioned: Peer Support Space - Free Global Online Peer Support Group for Survivors of the Family Policing System Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Listen to these episodes next: Lia's Episode : Lia shares her personal journey of coming out of the fog, confronting the trauma of adoption, and navigating her relationship with her adoptive family and biological roots. Noelle's Episode : Noelle discusses her experience as a transracial adoptee, the complexities of reunion, and how identity plays a critical role in her healing journey. Work With Me:
S1 E2 · Fri, November 25, 2022
Adoption & Grief: Navigating Loss and Identity
Adoption & Grief: Navigating Loss and Identity In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Lia, Noelle, and Tosha explore the complex intersection of adoption and grief, diving into how adoptees often experience deep emotional losses that are rarely acknowledged. They discuss topics such as the erasure of identity through name changes, longing for connection, the impact of secrecy, and how grief manifests both emotionally and physically. This candid conversation sheds light on the unique grief adoptees carry and the importance of finding support and healing. In this episode, we cover: (00:05) Introduction to co-hosts and reflections on the podcast's growing audience. (01:03) How name changes impact identity and grief. (04:22) The emotional and physical manifestations of grief in adoptees. (07:14) Feeling like an outsider within adoptive and biological families. (08:42) Grieving alone and the lack of validation for adoptee grief. (09:40) Statistics on adoptee mental health and how adoption is trauma. (11:07) The importance of adoption-competent therapy and peer support. (16:18) The impact of secrecy and being forced to hide the truth. (19:44) Searching for biological family members and unmet expectations. (22:56) Finding healing and community through writing, creative expression, and peer support. (27:44) Creating a safe space for adult survivors of the child welfare system. Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Listen to these episodes next: Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by Samuel Oyedele (Editor) Special thanks to Samuel Oyedele for editing our podcast. Support his work on Instagram or email him at Druma
S1 E1 · Fri, November 04, 2022
Coming Out of the Fog: The Truth About Adoption
Coming Out of the Fog: The Truth About Adoption In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Lia, Noelle, and Tosha share their experiences as adoptees and dive deep into topics often ignored or misrepresented in mainstream conversations about adoption. Together, they discuss coming out of the fog, dispelling harmful myths, and the complicated journey of finding healing and community. This episode offers a raw and honest conversation about adoption and the trauma it brings, while highlighting the power of connection and authenticity. In this episode, we cover: (00:05) Introduction to co-hosts and what drew them to the podcast. (02:52) Personal adoption stories and early experiences. (07:38) The concept of 'coming out of the fog' and what that means to each co-host. (15:19) Misconceptions and myths about adoption. (20:01) Exploring connections with adoptive parents and biological family members. (25:41) Goals and hopes for the podcast moving forward. Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Listen to these episodes next: Lia's Episode : Lia shares her personal journey of coming out of the fog, confronting the trauma of adoption, and navigating her relationship with her adoptive family and biological roots. Noelle's Episode : Noelle discusses her experience as a transracial adoptee, the complexities of reunion, and how identity plays a critical role in her healing journey. Alan Dettlaff’s Episode : An insightful conversation with Alan Dettlaff, an abolitionist and advocate deeply rooted in efforts to dismantle the family policing system. Alan shares their journey of understanding the harmful impacts of the system, their personal experiences, and their vision for transformative change. Dorothy Roberts’ Episode : A powerful interview with Dorothy Roberts, acclaimed scholar and author of Torn Apart. Dorothy discusses t
Trailer · Mon, October 24, 2022
No, Adoption Isn’t Magical (Trailer)
No, Adoption Isn’t Magical (Trailer) Episode Description: This trailer episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines offers a glimpse into the unfiltered, raw conversations that will shape the podcast. Zaira and fellow adoptees share their experiences of being adopted, challenging the romanticized narratives surrounding adoption, and confronting the pain and trauma caused by the adoption industry. This conversation serves as an introduction to the truth-telling and healing journey that is about to unfold on Adoptees Crossing Lines . This is the not-so-feel-good podcast where we reflect deeply on our experiences as adoptees and expose the pain inflicted by the adoption industry, one episode at a time. In this episode, we cover: (00:00) Growing up as the only adoptee and realizing others share similar traumatic experiences. (00:30) Tosha’s journey from discovering Adopted Twitter to building the courage to share her story on a public platform. (00:58) Acknowledging the difficulty of processing adoption trauma and feeling empowered to speak out. Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: Instagram BlueSky: BlueSky TikTok: TikTok Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Listen to These Episodes Next: Alan’s Episode : An insightful conversation with Alan, an abolitionist and advocate deeply rooted in efforts to dismantle the family policing system. Alan shares their journey of understanding the harmful impacts of the system, their personal experiences, and their vision for transformative change. Dorothy Roberts’ Episode : A powerful interview with Dorothy Roberts, acclaimed scholar and author of Torn Apart . Dorothy discusses the historical and present-day harms of the family policing system, offering a compelling argument for abolition and highlighting how systemic racism continues to harm Black families. Looking for Support: Free Peer Support Group: A free peer support group for those of us who survived the system as kids. It happens twice a month. Register <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSct7HXceCJ0Kt-ikC8oEEb0MtxyWUxwHRKRVdu3
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