Asshole Animals, with Alice
Join Alice as she dives deeper into the world of animal behaviour, answering the question on everyone's lips: "Why is this animal SUCH an asshole?". Each week, she'll be joined by a different expert in the animal industry to discuss the reasons behind this behaviour and to swap hilarious stories and crazy facts about a chosen species. So, otter you waiting for? Tune in to this turtle-y hilarious monkey-business - you'd be a foal to miss it!
S3 E37 · Tue, April 15, 2025
Episode 37 - Hyenas, with Mamadou Ndiaye
Quick fire: what carnivore found in both Africa AND Asia is a highly intelligent, highly successful apex predator with a complex social structure? If you said Lions, then you are DEAD wrong, idiot. Today we're talking about one of the most badass animals that you probably don't know too much about (or what you DO know is incorrect...thanks, Disney ) . Standing with Alice to present the best Hyena defence for the jury is wildlife educator, author and all around hilarious human being, Mamadou Ndiaye, who is making it his personal mission to re-write what people know about this incredible and metal-as-hell animal. If you want to get to the bottom of whether Hyenas are TRULY assholes or not, give this episode a listen and we promise you'll come away with some epic Hyena facts and a greater appreciation for their kind. [no money back guarantees]. Our charity of the week this week is the Ngorongoro Hyena Project, based out in Tanzania, whose team are researching the Spotted Hyena clans in the crater there. Find out what they're upto and how you can help at: https://hyena-project.com/ We also have a BRAND NEW SPONSOR to the show, the fabulous fungi gurus: the Bristol Fungarium - the produers of the UK's first organic, certified medicinal mushroom tinctures! Find out how to get a bit of mushroom magic into your life at www.bristolfungarium.com!
S3 E36 · Tue, April 01, 2025
Episode 36 - Emus, with Christian Flores
What do you think of when you think of an Emu? Dark, sweeping hair? Eyeliner? Lip piercings? Well, I hate to blow your minds, but you're actually thinking of Emos, you absolute spoon. Far less moody and listening to way less My Chemical Romance is the humble Emu, native to the chaotic Australia. Emus are tall, curious and make EXCELLENT Dads, so why are they on this podcast today? Joining Alice to be the justice that Emus need is the fabulous Christian Flores - Zookeeper, Paleo-educator and Emu enthusiast. Listen as they discuss Michael Jordan, Game of Thrones and a book about how to look after captive Dinosaurs! Our Charity of the week this week is the marvellous Bush Heritage Australia - who are fighting to keep Australia's unique flora and fauna alive and well. Join them in protecting many different species that call Australia home at: www.bushheritage.org.au.
S3 E35 · Tue, March 18, 2025
Episode 35 - Rats, with Dr Evan Antin
Okay, okay. We know we're going to have to work overtime on this one, because this is a hard sell. Yes, Rats carry diseases, cause damage, eat food that doesn't belong to them and MAYBE most people are weirdly creeped out by their tail. But they are also smart, compassionate and determined individuals, so maybe you should shut the hell up. Here to give Rats some positive PR is the incredible Dr Evan Antin, small animals/exotic/wildlife vet, who can reassure you, from a vet side of things that they are not the evil creatures of the night that society thinks they are. Join him and Alice as they talk the Rattiest city in the world, McDonald's chocolate milkshakes and of course, one of the more famous rats: Rizzo the Rat, from the Muppets. Our charity of the week this week is the incredible Pasadena Humane - who are working around the clock to care for the animals affected by the fires in California earlier this year. To give them a hand and protect not only abandoned pets, but also wildlife, find them on https://pasadenahumane.org/. We are also excited to announce our NEW SPONSOR: the fabulous and hilarious Animals Anonymous. If you love animals, have a sense of humour and want to buy from a company that is giving back to conservation, check out their incredible range of merch made by former Zookeeper and animal lover: Alexis. To take a peek at their stickers, clothes and water bottles, head on over to www.animalsanonymousapparel.com.
Tue, November 05, 2024
Episode 34 - Starlings, with Stephen Moss
It's hard to imagine that Alice would be poking fun at a bird with iridescent feathers, a beautiful flight pattern, and whose name LITERALLY means "little star", but here we are. It was hard to imagine that Donald Trump would turn out to be a wannabe Dictator....crazier things have happened in this timeline. Here to discuss one of Britain's most under-the-radar birds is celebrated author, TV producer, and creator of BBC's Springwatch: Stephen Moss - who researched Starlings to such a degree that he became their official biographer, releasing a book entitled: "The Starling: A Biography". Tune in to hear Alice and Stephen dissect the two personalities of the Starling: the one the general public see and the one it actually is. Hear them dive into topics such as the incredible Somerset murmurations, Roman augury, and of course Oasis vs Blur. Our charity of the week this week is shielding Somerset's land/plants/animals from more climate crises: the incredible Somerset Wildlife Trust. To find out more about their journey to protect Somerset's wild spaces, visit their website at www.somersetwildlife.org. And, as always, our superstar sponsor, Blue Panda Clothing is sponsoring this episode today. Shop with code: ALICE10 to receive 10% off of your Blue Panda purchase when you go to their online store! Get the Christmas presents done for your animal-loving pals with the help of Asshole Animals and Blue Panda using code: ALICE10! Visit their site at: www.bluepanda.co.uk for some sustainably chic designs! What are you waiting? RUN!
S2 E33 · Mon, October 14, 2024
Episode 33 - Tasmanian Devils, with Brian Ahearn
Side note before we get started: does anyone else remember Cadbury's "Taz"s? The chocolate bar? The one that was kind of like a Freddo but had caramel inside? What ever HAPPENED to those? In any case, Tasmanian Devils are definitely one of those creatures that the general public knows little about, other than through the portrayal of a beloved yet crazed cartoon lunatic. Could you even DRAW a Tasmanian Devil if I asked you to? Probably not, right? Here to talk about these wild and wonderful beings is Brian Ahearn, nature-lover and artist, and creator of Zoo Draws, the comic strip that combines comedy and nature (sound familiar?). Listen to Alice and Brian talk about what makes Tazzie Devils special, including their facial tumours, carnivorous babies, and how they've recently made a comeback to Australia after a whopping 3000 years! Our charities of the week are the INCREDIBLE Aussie Ark and Re:Wild - both setting extraordinary examples of how to be excellent humans and save the planet. If you want to find out more about what they're doing to help Tazzie Devils and generally making the world a better place, check out www.aussieark.org.au and rewild.org!
S2 E32 · Tue, September 17, 2024
Episode 32 - Slugs, with Yussef Rafik
Quick question: how much do you know about Slug penises? Not very much? Well, that's SUPER embarrassing for you...Thankfully, Yussef Rafik (children's TV presenter/zoologist/slug enthusiast) is here to tell you all you need to know about Slugs (genitalia and otherwise). The human experience with Slugs can probably be best described as one of "disgust", right? No one is happy to see a Slug - not on their plants, under their shoe as they step out into the garden, and certainly not in their HOMES. But Slugs are actually incredible creatures and are super important for our survival, so tune in to hear Alice and Yussef talking about why we need them, where the word "sluggish" comes from, and also why you should NEVER EVER eat a slug, not even on a dare from your friends. Our charity of the week this week is the incredible Bug Life - a charity Alice has actually mentioned on the show but their work is so vital, it bears repeating. Looking after the little things that run the world, go on to their website to learn more about how to help bugs and also what awesome species we have here in the UK, at www.buglife.org.uk. This episode of Asshole Animals with Alice is sponsored by the fabulously and delightfully whimsical Button and Squirt - who are helping you and your little ones learn about the natural world in the most fun way possible! To dive in to the world of wildlife and pick up a fun present for an animal-lover you know, head over to their website, at: www.buttonandsquirt.co.uk.
S2 E31 · Thu, August 15, 2024
Episode 31 - Elephants, with James Roday Rodriguez
You've got to hand it to Elephants - for an animal THAT large, they've managed to invoke a range of emotions in us pretty well. Whether you were moved to tears by Dumbo, terrified of the Heffalumps in Winnie the Pooh or laughing at Stampy, Bart's Elephant from the Simpsons - us humans have a special kinship with these large creatures and it's about time we explored that... Here to determine if Elephants are assholes are not is funny man James Roday Rodriguez, who believes that Elephants may just be our spirit guides. Hear Alice and James dive into topics such as Verne Troyer, Hindu Mythology AND where the phrase "White Elephant" came from on this very special episode of Asshole Animals. Please note: Alice DOES claim in this episode that she doesn't know of any examples of Elephants being malicious to other species on purpose - which directly contradicts her previous episode on Vultures with Tom Morath. Simple explanation: she had no idea Elephants messed with Lappet-faced Vulture nests at the time of this recording. Our charity of the week is the fabulous Trunks Up - who are working hard to free Elephants from being put to work in Asia and to give them a peaceful existence out in large sanctuaries. Find out more about their incredible work and how you can donate to help feed these Elephants at www.trunksup.org. We have 3 incredible sponsors this week! 1) Nature Spy - the ultimate go-to for all of your wildlife watching tech! If you're in need of a camera that lets you watch wildlife from afar, these are your guys. Use code "ANIMALS10" to get 10% off of trail cameras, in honour of their 10th anniversary. https://www.naturespy.org 2) Our pals at Blue Panda are sponsoring this episode of the podcast, and c'mon guys, if you haven't seen their incredibly cute range of Elephant merchandise, then what are you doing?! Check out some sustainable and chic fashion at www.bluepanda.co.uk! 3) NEW SPONSOR ALERT: We are proud to sponsored by the incredible Button and Squirt - who make animal activities and illustrations, designed to help your little ones learn about the natural world (and grown ups too!). To browse their amazing range of cards and activity books that are bright and fabulous, check out: www.buttonandsquirt.co.uk
Tue, July 30, 2024
LIVE AT GLOBAL BIRDFAIR: "How Many Geese?" vs "Asshole Animals with Alice"
We all love a good crossover episode, right? Jetsons meet the Flintstones, Family Guy vs The Simpsons, Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Well, all of those crossovers PALE in comparison to the shenanigans brought by the teams at "How Many Geese?" and "Asshole Animals with Alice"... Join Jack, Roddy and Alice as they set their differences aside to crown the "Worst Bird in the World"...at Global Birdfair. This journey is no easy task - and it will take 7 suggestions from the fans, and 3 birds each from the trio to face off in a 16-bird battle for the crown. WHO will be the victor, and what makes them the World's Worst Bird? You know what to do, give it a listen...
Tue, July 23, 2024
LIVE AT GLOBAL BIRDFAIR 2024 - with Tom Morath
Are you a certified bird nerd? Does birding in the great outdoors, come rain or shine, tickle your fancy? Are you looking to meet other bird people, while hearing about the incredible things people out there are doing to protect and preserve our winged friends? Then Global Birdfair is the place for you! It is bird lover's Mecca. It is the congregation of those who love to see nature thriving. There is so much love and knowledge in the room, that you are GUARANTEED to come away with new friends, stories, and even some awesome bird merchandise... As Alice attends Global Birdfair 2024, hear her discuss with the Hawk Conservancy Trust's own Tom Morath - bird of prey expert and host of "Nature's a Hoot" podcast, about a very large asshole-animal-of-the-week... What animal could it be? And what have they done to earn this mantle? Only one way to find out! You know what to do...
S2 E30 · Wed, July 10, 2024
Episode 30 - Kookaburras, with Ned Pickett
Signs that you might be a Kookaburra: - You love to laugh - You're close with your family - You like to keep it simple with decorating your home, instead of making your nesting complex - You're a great partner to your significant other - You can be a jerk at times Kookaburras MAY just be the animal embodiment of "Live, Laugh, Love" - with close family bonds, being excellent at hunting, and also that clamorous cackle that makes them so famous. But, just like those that own a "Live, Laugh, Love" sign at home, Kookaburras have the capacity to be jerks at times. And here is where our fabulous guest, Ned Pickett, comes in. Join Alice and Ned as they delve into what makes a Kookaburra an asshole, as well as why you should be carrying a water pistol with you if you live in Australia. Tune in if you like World of Warcraft, the Olympics OR want to know which word is older: "Kookaburra"? or "millionaire"?. Our charity of the week won't be focusing on Kookaburras - they're doing fine right now. We don't need to worry about them. Instead, at Ned Pickett's request, the charity of the week is: Friends of California Condors, Wild and Free. A dedicated team of volunteers working as educators and guides - to tell the public about one of the most critically endangered animals on the planet! Check them out at: www.friendsofcondors.org - to see what they're upto and give them a hand! Our sponsor of the show this week is the hilarious Effin Birds - merchandise you WON'T want to miss out on if you like birds, and swearing. A combination just as beautiful as peanut butter and jelly. For merch of birds who are over your shit, check out: www.effinbirds.com. You absolutely will not regret it, this shit is hysterical.
S2 E29 · Tue, June 18, 2024
Episode 29 - Snakes, with Dan Rumsey
We, as humans, DO love to use animal names as insults, don't we? You might call your cheating ex boyfriend a "dog", you might call someone going to the police a "rat". Hell, you may even go as far as to call people who support Trump "sheep". It's called speciesism - look it up. Among those brutish insult-names, is the humble Snake, which is what you might call someone treacherous or sneaky. Snakes have had a bad rap since...well, the Bible, I guess. Tempting Eve and all that. But elsewhere in the world, other cultures gave them more respect, and viewed them as signs of fertility, rebirth and even healing. Look at any good hospital for the rod of Asclepius (the god of healing), which is encircled by a snake. WE NEED SNAKES! Here to defend the Snake like a knight in shining armour, is Dan Rumsey - snake expert and relocator, who has been obsessed with them his entire life. Join Alice and Dan as they discuss gliding snakes, snail-eating snakes, and being tired of these "motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane". Our charity of the week this week is the fabulous Aussie Ark - an incredible wildlife rehabilitation and habitat restoration organisation that are championing the unique species of Australia by helping them get back on their feet (spoiler alert: the Europeans didn't help...). Find out more about their mission at: www.aussieark.org.au. And, you guessed it, our incredible sponsor of the show is none other than Blue Panda Clothing - the stylish and sustainable option this summer for all of your animal-clothes needs. Great presents for your animal-obsessed friend or a great treat for you (you deserve it!) - shop ethically online at www.bluepanda.co.uk!
S2 E28 · Tue, May 28, 2024
Episode 28 - Coyotes, with Coyote Peterson
Growing up, your first experience with a Coyote quite possibly may have been watching a cartoon Coyote attempt, in vain, to catch and eat a cartoon Roadrunner. What if we told you that while you're rooting for the Roadrunner as a kid, as an adult you're probably identifying more with the Coyote? With Alice this week is YouTuber, wildlife expert and all-around badass Coyote Peterson, to tell you how he got his nickname, why Coyotes will survive the apocalypse, AND about an incredible feature film that we need to get off of the Warner Bros shelf... Our Charity of the Week this week is the incredible Save the Horns - an organisation championed by Coyote Peterson, saving the Black Rhino. Find out more about their mission at www.savethehorns.com. This episode is sponsored by the FABULOUS Blue Panda Clothing - who should be your one-stop shop for a sustainable, fashionable summer! Check out their range of t-shirts and backpacks to look good and feel good on your summer adventures. Find them at www.bluepanda.co.uk.
S2 E27 · Thu, April 18, 2024
Episode 27 - Brown Bears, with Wes Larson
The term "Bear" can evoke a number of feelings depending on the context. If you're an avid hiker, hearing the word "bear" may induce a sense of sheer terror. When coupled with the word "hug", the term "bear" might be a source of comfort, especially when you need an extra-strong source of affection. If you love burly, hairy men, then "bear" may elicit some arousal, who knows? In the context of this show, "Bear" should invoke feelings of joy and wonder, as we dive into the behaviour of specifically Brown Bears - the poster child of the Ursidae family and the most adaptable and versatile member of the 8 bear species! With Alice this week to talk Brown Bears is Bear biologist and host of the smash-hit podcast "Tooth and Claw": Wes Larson, who gives us a rundown of Bear behaviours, tells us 3 simple ways to protect yourself from a Bear attack in the woods, and also explains what a Bear Claw is. Our Charity of the Week this week is The Grizzly Bear Foundation - who work tirelessly to keep Grizzly Bears in North American forests. Check out their incredible work at: www.grizzlybearfoundation.com This episode is sponsored by Nature Spy - your go-to centre for wildlife-watching tech! They're offering 10% all trail cameras with a code only found in the episode! Listen in and head on over to www.naturespy.org! This episode is also sponsored by Blue Panda Clothing - your one-stop shop for sustainable and chic clothing! Check out their GORGEOUS bear-related merchandise at https://bluepanda.co.uk/collections/bear
S2 E26 · Mon, March 25, 2024
Episode 26 - Geese, with Jack Baddams
It's difficult to imagine a more intense rivalry than Humans and Geese. We eat them at Christmas time, they terrorise our picnics. It's a feud as old as time, with countless tears and bloodshed, and yet we are doomed to torture each other as long as we both walk this Earth. Championing the Goose's side of the war, while still acknowledging the living chaos that our feathered friends rain upon mankind, is Ornithologist, host of the "How Many Geese?" podcast, and first EVER returning guest: Jack Baddams, who exhibits what we like to call "BGE" or Big Goose Energy. Jack joins Alice this week to discuss why Geese are the antithesis to the British public, the crazy story behind Barnacle Geese, AND why we should all "be more Goose" when we need a dash of brazen confidence. Our Charity of the Week this week is the WWT - the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust, who are not only protecting the habitat where Geese (and other birds) roam, but have been pivotal in the repopulation of the Hawaiian Goose! Visit one of their sites today and find out why Wetlands are crucial to a healthy planet at: www.wwt.org.uk. This episode of the show is sponsored by the incredible Nature Spy - the wizards of wildlife-watching tech, who are offering a 10% discount on all trail cameras with a code you can only find in the episode! Find out more about their inspirational organisation and how they're helping conservation projects across the world at www.naturespy.org! The episode is also sponsored by Effin Birds, who strike that perfect balance of Birds and insults. Preorder their 2025 calendar today and don't miss out on their new comics, which find creative new ways to insult people! Shop for their hilarious mugs, t-shirts and playing cards at www.effinbirds.com!
S2 E25 · Fri, March 08, 2024
Episode 25 - African Wild Dogs, with Lindsay Nikole
We all know there are cat people and dog people, it's a fact of life. But just for the sake of this episode, we'll be asking all the cat people out there to take off their cat hats and consider loving instead the humble African Wild Dog. The most cat-like dog species in the world, due to the fact they are obligate carnivores, are revered in Ancient Egypt and have no time for human bullshit. Talking about our first ever canine species on the show is the mega badass Lindsay Nikole, who tells the audience how Wild Dogs are REALLY perceived in Africa. Join her and Alice to find out more about Wild Dog territory size, how many teeth they have, and about the Sicilian Mafia - obviously... Our Charity of the Week this week is Painted Dog Conservation - Zimbabwe's answer to the Wild Dog population crisis. Check them out and lend them your support today at: www.painteddog.org. This podcast episode is also sponsored by the fabulous Blue Panda Clothing - where you ought to be shopping for your summertime clothing! Find their ethical fashion at www.bluepanda.co.uk and feel good about splurging on some wildlife-related garments today!
S2 E24 · Fri, February 23, 2024
Episode 24 - Toucans, with Brock Afentul
In case any of you were wondering, this episode brings Alice no joy. To be forced to dunk on your favourite animal of all time for the sake of comedy is a bittersweet and hollow experience. Listen with caution, you may be able to hear Alice's tears of sorrow...amidst the laughter. Joining Alice to talk about the bird with the highest beauty to crazy ratio is content creator and Toucan dad - Brock Afentul, who has scars both physical and emotional from his time keeping Toucans - which you can learn more about by searching for him at 2can.tv on Instagram/TikTok/Youtube! If you want to know why Toucans are like cats, what the deal with Froot Loops' "Toucan Sam" is AND develop a new-found love and respect for an animal you'd probably never considered to capture your heart - then tune in! Our Charity of the Week is the week is the remarkable Toucan Rescue Ranch, a rescue and rehabilitation facility based in Costa Rica. THE organisation dedicated to helping Costa Rica's wildlife recover and get back out into the wild, if you'd like to help them save some incredible species, find them at www.toucanrescueranch.org! (the Toucan Rescue Ranch is close to Alice's heart - so please help them if you can!). This episode is sponsored by Blue Panda Clothing - the clothing brand that isn't afraid to mix style and sustainability! Shop their incredible designs for an animal loving friend or even yourself at www.bluepanda.co.uk! You won't regret it.
S2 E23 · Tue, January 30, 2024
Episode 23 - Feral Pigeons, with Kendall Long
What do you see when you look at a Pigeon? A "dumb bird" wandering aimlessly through life? A feathered rat delving through our garbage? A government surveillance drone hell-bent on documenting your secrets? Whether you think these things or not, Pigeons are here to stay. And they COULD just be the most stable and reliable presence in your life right now, so why not learn more about them? Joining Alice this week is the ethereal Kendall Long - guardian of the Pigeons and true nature nerd. Together, Alice and Kendall work hard to change your mind on the humble feral Pigeon, giving an "Asshole Assessment" score that you wouldn't believe! Tune in and keep your minds open about these little urban heroes. Our Charity of the Week this week is the Mauritian Wildlife Foundation - who are working to repopulate the critically endangered Pink Pigeon! You can find them at www.mauritian-wildlife.org. This podcast episode is sponsored by the effin' hilarious "Effin Birds" - the merchandise for fowl-mouthed bird lovers everywhere. Have a look at their hysterical mugs, T-shirts and even playing cards at www.effinbirds.com - and grab something that shows the world that you don't give a flock!
S2 E22 · Tue, January 16, 2024
Episode 22 - Cats, with Jenna Fischer
The only 3 certainties in life are: Death, Taxes and the human desire to depict our cats in art. We've been reproducing their likenesses in multiple art forms since we domesticated them 10,000 years ago. From pottery, to hieroglyphics, to black and white photos - we are OBSESSED. In fact, does anyone even remember the Internet without cat videos? As sure as the day is long, humans have forever been fascinated by cats and their behaviour, despite some of that behaviour being nefarious and downright rude in nature. For that reason, the task of explaining why their rascal-y antics captivates us is a mammoth one. Thankfully, Alice has some help, from kitten fosterer and self-proclaimed cat-person: Jenna Fischer. Join Jenna and Alice this week as they dive into what makes cat jerks but also why we can't get enough of them. Hear stories of Jenna's foster journey, her cat magazine debut, and how she nearly missed the role of a lifetime to care for our feline friends. Our "Charity of the Week" is the organisation that Jenna volunteers for: the brilliant "Kitten Rescue", based in Los Angeles - who are on a mission to find every abandoned cat a happy and healthy home. Check out their work and help their incredible cause at: www.kittenrescue.org. Our Sponsors of the show this week are the fabulously eco-friendly Bare Kind and Blue Panda clothing - both are which are saving animals with every garment they sell. For some extra comfy Bamboo socks that will keep your feet warm and your conscious clear, check out: www.barekind.com. For stylish, sensible and chic clothing that gives back to wildlife conservation all around the world, check out Blue Panda at www.bluepanda.co.uk.
S2 E21 · Tue, December 12, 2023
Episode 21 - Crows, with Dr Kaeli Swift
It's the year 2123. With ongoing wars, a devastating climate catastrophe, and the inevitable uprising of artificial intelligence, the Human race is fractured. Only the Crows remain... Why have Crows succeeded where other species have fallen? They've been watching us the whole time...gathering information, scavenging, communicating above our very heads. For years, we ignored them. Shooed them away. Shot and poisoned them. Little did we know that they would have the last laugh, as humanity plunges into despair. Okay, so we can't see into the future. But this is Science's best guess at what will happen! And explaining why WE should be watching the Crows instead of the other way around is the fabulous Dr Kaeli Swift - an Ethologist specialising in Corvid behaviour. With Kaeli's help in this episode, we find out why Crows are "couple goals" and break down some classic Crow behaviours to explain what the heck is going on when they pull at dogs' tails. Our Charity of the Week this week is the phenomenal "Alala Project" - protecting Hawaii's only native species of Crow! Find them on Facebook or Instagram under "Alala Project" for more information! And this podcast is sponsored by the stylishly ethical Blue Panda Clothing - where buying clothes helps to save animals! Check out their incredible winter gear at www.bluepanda.co.uk and help some incredible conservation charities across the world today!
S2 E20 · Tue, November 28, 2023
Episode 20 - Penguins with Kristyn Plancarte
How often has a silly Penguin video made your day a little brighter? How often has their silliness, their child-like determination and their adorable little waddles restored your faith that maybe, just maybe, there IS some pure joy left in this world? You're probably expecting this paragraph to now explain that Penguins are ACTUALLY the Devil and should be cancelled - but that's certainly not true. What they are capable of is knowing your weak spots and exploiting them, as Penguin Keeper and Marine Biologist Kristyn Plancarte will tell you... It's unfair to liken Penguins to feral brutes. Instead, we should liken them to..."The Penguin", the Batman villain: seemingly innocuous (what's so scary about a guy dressed as the Monopoly man?), but ultimately devious in nature. Tune in to find out why that is, and also to hear how bad Penguin bites can be... Our charity of the week this week is the spectacular SANCCOB - protecting African Penguins and other wonderful seabirds through rescue, rehabilitation and education! Find them here at www.sanccob.co.za! Our sponsors of the podcast are Birda - the birdwatching app that EVERYONE is talking about! Begin your birdwatching journey and join others in a fun, likeminded community by downloading the app now! Available on the App store and Google play. We are also sponsored by the fabulous team at Bare Kind today - the socks that help to save wildlife! Pick up a pair with 10% off for your loved ones this Christmas with a special code you can get from listening to the show! Find their incredible designs and be safe in the knowledge you're shopping sustainably and responsibly by checking out their website: www.barekind.com! Go quickly! Now!
S2 E19 · Tue, November 14, 2023
Episode 19 - Orcas, with Billy Heaney
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, we're back for another round of "which member of the Dolphin family could absolutely wreck your shit if it wanted?" - and the answer, unsurprisingly, is the Orca. You may know Killer Whales from "Free Willy", you may know them from "Blackfish", but soon enough you'll know them from your nightmares. Of course we're kidding, but with their level of intelligence and their penchant for wrecking OTHER animals' shit, you'd probably best board up your windows and doors just in case... Joining Alice this week is famed Zoologist and Wildlife Presenter, Billy Heaney, who attempts to break the world record for most times saying the word "phenomenal" in a podcast. In this episode, Alice and Billy discuss the behaviours of different Orca ecotypes, what's REALLY going on with the Orca sinking boats in Gibraltar, AND the question on everybody's lips: "how heavy is Big Ben?". Our Charity of the Week this week is the FANTASTIC "Whale and Dolphin Conservation" - the best legal team against the injustices faced by Cetaceans in our seas and beyond. Find them at uk.whales.org. This episode of the show is also sponsored by Blue Panda clothing - the brand that saves wildlife. Each purchase made donates money to one of several hugely impactful conservation charities across the world. Let's make sustainable fashion sexy, shop them now at: www.bluepanda.co.uk.
S2 E18 · Tue, November 07, 2023
Episode 18 - Vultures, with Hillary Hankey
The phrase "Circling like a Vulture" doesn't often conjure pleasant imagery. One may circle like a Vulture over an estranged great Aunt's belongings in the months preceding her death. One may circle like a Vulture over a promotion at the Law firm where you've been busting your ass for the last 7 years. "Circling like a Vulture" implies a predatory behaviour, carefully plotting yet somewhat opportunistic. Waiting in the shadows for the right moment... Well that phrase is dumb, and so are you. They aren't waiting for you to die, idiot, some of them are attracted to the smell of death. Your last waking moments on this planet as you die in the desert will not see you face-to-face with a Vulture, that's for sure. There's a lot of preconceived notions about Vultures that are just plain wrong: that they're ugly (YOU'RE ugly), that they're omens of death (YOU'RE an omen of death...). But really, these bald-headed wonders are the secret saviors of sanitation, and are remarkably clean birds themselves (for animals that gorge on rotting flesh). Okay, so they may be a LITTLE jerky towards bird trainers, as this week's guest, Hillary Hankey, will tell you. BUT, they should probably get a pass since they keep deadly diseases away from humans. Vultures - 1, Humanity - 0. Our Charity of the Week this week is the incredible Vulpro - who are tackling the issues faced by Vultures in southern Africa. If you love a good Vulture, check them out here: www.vulpro.com.
S2 E17 · Tue, October 24, 2023
Episode 17 - Tarantulas, with Dr Sebastian Echeverri
Webster's dictionary defines "fear" as: "an unpleasant, often strong, emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger". For pretty much 90% of the planet, fear in an animal form takes the shape of the humble and introverted Tarantula. It's unclear why 8 legs and a hairy body seems to equal danger to us, but the answer is probably conditioning from media and a fear that's been passed down through generations, just like a terrible, incorrect recipe from your grandma. Well, the trauma cycle ends now . Joining Alice today is the ultimate spider-nerd Dr Sebastian Echeverri, who breaks down why we fear Tarantulas and gives us a glimpse into the pros and cons of owning them as a pet. With Halloween coming up, why not face the things that scare you? You might learn something cool for once in your life, damnit. If you're looking for top-tier spider husbandry knowledge, don't forget to check out "Tom's Big Spiders" on your socials - approved by our spider expert, Sebastian, this week. You can find him on Insta at: www.instagram.com/tomsbigspiders. Our charity of the week is the INCREDIBLE British Arachnological Society - who are doing the Lord's work by researching and helping to protect our native arachnid species in the UK! You can find them at www.britishspiders.org.uk.
S2 E16 · Thu, October 12, 2023
Episode 16 - Ants, with Jack Baddams and Roddy Shaw
We. Are. Back. And kicking off Season 2 of "Asshole Animals with Alice" is a species that could almost transcend assholery due to their intelligence and their terrifying efficiency: Ants. It may disturb you to hear that below your picnic blanket, below the loamy depths of the soil is a fully formed SOCIETY with more harmony and union than we will ever achieve as Humans. A Utopia, some might say, but with beings that could easily dominate and enslave the human race if they were only larger. Aaaaanyway. Today Alice is joined by two members of the human race that are READY to welcome their new insect overlords: Jack Baddams and Roddy Shaw, from the nature podcast: "How Many Geese?". Through traumatic personal stories, philosophical musings, and struggles at being unable to describe the fear/respect they have for Ants, Jack and Roddy will help Alice ascertain how much of a jerk ants can be. Ants, if you're reading this, this is alllllll a joke. And should you ever rise up to claim this Earth as your own, just know that Alice, Jack and Roddy would make excellent Jesters for your banquets. Our Charity of the Week this week is the Woodland Trust, helping to protect the woodlands - the home of millions of ants across the UK. You can find them here: www.woodlandtrust.org.
S1 E15 · Tue, August 15, 2023
Episode 15 - Komodo Dragons, with Adam Radovanovic
Eugh, who DOESN'T love a giant, bitey, scaley thing? It's why we all love Jurassic Park, right? In a boring world without ACTUAL Dragons, it's time we settle for the next best thing: Komodo Dragons - whom, despite being wingless and unable to breathe fire - can still turn your blood cold if they run after you. After dodging an incredible 14 episodes of the podcast, it's high time that Reptiles answered for their asshole crimes. This week, Alice dives in to discuss perhaps the coolest bitey, scaley thing (no shade, Crocs and Gators), as well as Nobel Prize winners, King Kong and beer kegs. So, tune in this week to find out how much of an asshole these giant hunks of meat with teeth can be, straight from the less-teethy mouth of Komodo Dragon keeper and Brummie legend, Adam Radovanovic. Our charity of the week this week is the legendary: Komodo Survival Program - THE organisation working tirelessly to protect these dragons from extinction. Find them at: https://komododragon.org/
Tue, August 01, 2023
Episode 14 - Macaws, with Barbara Heidenreich
Well, well, well. If it isn't the infamous Macaw episode... As you guys know, the possibility of a Macaw episode has been thrown around a lot on this podcast. No one thought it would happen. No one DREAMED it would happen. But yet, the wait is finally over, and what better person to help discuss one of the most intelligent species of bird on the planet than Avian behaviour expert and celebrated animal trainer, Barbara Heidenreich. Join Alice and Barbara as they get philosophical about the term "asshole" and dive deep into topics like: Blu Lu - the Blue-Throated Macaw, San Diego's Frozen Zoo, Macaw sleep cycles and more. Truly a calming presence to Alice's squirrel-like hyperactivity, Barbara is the perfect guest to slow it down and really look at the bigger picture of behaviour. Aren't we all capable of assholery depending on the circumstance? Find out on this week's episode of "Asshole Animals with Alice"! Our Charity of the Week is the INCREDIBLE Bird Endowment, founded by the late Laney Rickman, whose passion lives on in the conservation work happening as a result of her dream. You can learn about what Bird Endowment is doing to help Blue-Throated Macaws and donate to their important work at: www.birdendowment.org. You can find Barbara's unparalleled animal training resources at: https://animaltrainingfundamentals.com/.
Fri, July 14, 2023
Episode 13 - Australian Magpies, with Dr Gráinne Cleary
When you think of "fear", you might think of spiders or snakes. High-up places, cramped places, public speaking or, heck, even Clowns. Maybe giving a talk on a high-up podium at a crowded Clown convention scares you, who knows? For Australians, there is Swoopophobia, which is the term I just made up for getting swooped by the Australian Magpie. As if Australians needed another thing to be afraid of as well as the chance of Tony Abbott eating another raw onion on live television... (that joke is funny if you're from Down Under). Too long has Swoopophobia swept over the entire country of Australia, leaving its residents cowering in fear. But now, with the help of experts like the daring Dr Gráinne Cleary stepping in to tell us WHY these birds swoop, the gentle townsfolk of Oz can emerge from their homes, safe in the knowledge that these Magpies - much like P!nk- are simply misunderstood. Our Charity of the Week this week is the incredible Wildlife Victoria - the native species of Australia's best hope for being rescued and rehabilitated! You can find them at www.wildlifevictoria.org.au.
S1 E12 · Mon, July 03, 2023
Episode 12 - Bats, with Rhiannon Traish-Walker
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you an important message: it turns out that the Goths were right - Bats are actually pretty fucking rad. From taking care of those pesky mosquitoes that threaten to ruin your vacation, to pollinating the agave plant that is used for the tequila you're inhaling while you're on vacation, Bats are actually doing you a solid by helping you relax on your god damn Ibiza holiday, Karen. Show some RESPECT. Joining Alice this week, all the way from Down Under, is Wildlife Vet Nurse and Bat rehabilitator/snuggler Rhiannon Traish-Walker, who shares her methods of embarrassing her bats so that they're more independent when they're ready for release. Genius. So if you want to know how Alice connects Bats to Danny Devito, the Japanese Bullet train and the Burj Khalifa - tune in this week and get bat-happy. Our Charity of the Week this week is the incredible Bats QLD - Australian superstars in helping rehabilitate these beautiful and important animals, check them out at: https://www.batsqld.org.au/
S1 E11 · Sun, June 18, 2023
Episode 11 - Triggerfish, with Kate Sheridan
Hey! You! Yeah, you. Ever heard of a Triggerfish? Probably not, right? Maybe you're thinking: "Yeah but there are SO many animals I've never heard of, why should I care about this one?" and that's where this podcast comes in - to tell you to get your head out of your ass and start paying attention. If you're a lover of the ocean, a fish-eater, a fish- hater, someone wanting to brush up on their general knowledge before a pub quiz, or anyone with a passing interest in hearing two women talk about douchey animals - this episode is for you. Joining Alice this week is the fabulous Kate Sheridan and boy, they are covering a range of topics! Shakespeare. High School Musical 2. The founding of New Zealand. All of these topics are addressed in this episode -as well as a hearty dose of Triggerfish talk and an easy-to-understand breakdown of why our coral reefs are in trouble. Rest assured, you'll leave this episode with more Triggerfish knowledge than you know what to do with. You're welcome. Our charity of the week this week is The Coral Planters, doing the Lord's work in helping restore and monitor our vitally important Coral reefs around the world. Check out their website at: www.thecoralplanters.org. Follow the amazing Kate Sheridan and her adventures in the Maldives at: www.instagram.com/conservation_kate.
S1 E10 · Fri, June 09, 2023
Episode 10 - Dolphins Part 1, with Bertie Gregory
Somewhere...buried deep in a landfill... lies the bright, glittery Dolphin merchandise of your childhood. You know what I'm talking about. The stickers, the fake tattoos, the dangly earrings. Maybe even a mood ring with a Dolphin on it? Close your eyes and travel back to the past, when deciding where to put up your awesome new Dolphin poster was the biggest problem in your life. Hate to break it to you, but if your Dolphin-merch nostalgia made you sad just now, prepare for it to get a whole lot worse... In the first ever two-part episode, Alice attempts (in true "Making a Murderer" style) to get into the mind of the master manipulators and psychopaths of the water: Dolphins. It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it. With her on this journey is wildlife filmmaker and star of his own Disney+ show "Epic Adventures with Bertie Gregory", THE Bertie Gregory. And diving in to learn more about Dolphin douchery is quite the epic adventure itself... Our Charity of the Week segment is instead focusing on important Dolphin research from the incredible team at Wild Dolphin Project, you can find them here: https://www.wilddolphinproject.org/
S1 E9 · Thu, May 25, 2023
Episode 9 - Sharks, with Megan McCubbin
Were you ever picked on as a kid because you didn't want to go in the swimming pool in case there was a Shark in there? Does the Jaws theme tune STILL make your heart rate quicken to this day? Good news: you were the victim of the media's Shark fearmongering and you COULD be entitled to compensation! Your reparations for this heinous crime include getting to learn why Sharks are awesome and NEVER having to listen to "Baby Shark" again. Join Alice and her guest, esteemed Zoologist and Shark-booper Megan McCubbin, as they dive into why we all need to go into the sea and love Sharks a bit more. Did you know that Sharks make friends when they're young? And that some Sharks sleep in a cuddle puddle? No? Wow, that's so embarrassing for you...you REALLY need to listen to this episode. Take a nice, long swim in the pool of cognizance. Come on in, the water's fine. Our Charity of the Week this week is the incredible "Bite Back" who are the best defensive attorneys Sharks can get in an unfair trial against them. www.bite-back.com Check out Megan's brand new book: "An Atlas of Endangered Species", available at your normal book retailers, but consider shopping at Bookshop.org to grab it: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/atlas-of-endangered-animals-megan-mccubbin/6148216?ean=9781529369533.
Thu, May 11, 2023
Episode 8 - Opossums, with Rick Schwartz
What do we truly know about Opossums? We know they like to eat trash, that they like to come out at night, and we also know they're about non-confrontational as it gets, even faking their death to get out of an awkward situation. Can we not say that at least one of those things are true about ourselves? Take a look in the mirror, people! Join Alice as she busts myths and changes hearts and minds about North America's only Marsupial, with the help of the talented, knowledgeable and ever-so-dreamy Rick Schwartz, from San Diego Zoo. Together they'll discuss topics that nobody ever talks about with Opossums - such as their brain size and how they're depicted in myth! Bottom line is: people have been hating on this animal for too long. Google a picture of a baby Opossum and I guarantee your heart will melt. Or listen to this podcast. Better yet, do both. Our Charity of the Week this week is a BIG shout out to all of the Opossum rehabilitators out there - you guys are awesome. Plus, visit the Opossum Society of the United States if you want some useful tips on how to remove an Opossum or be visited by one! https://opossumsocietyus.org/ Don't forget to also check out Rick Schwartz in the San Diego Zoo podcast: "Amazing Wildlife" - available wherever you get your podcasts!
S1 E7 · Mon, May 01, 2023
Episode 7 - Seagulls, with "Lucy Lapwing"
Afraid to go to the beach, lest some feathered bandit steal the chips you've been waiting all day for? The chips that probably cost around £12 nowadays in this economy? Well, consider this episode your immersion therapy - but the only thing that'll be hijacked during this podcast will be your hearts - for these sassy, savvy scroungers. You're welcome. Join Alice and bird-nerd "Lucy Lapwing" as they shrug, unbothered, at Seagull behaviour and tell you to just get better reflexes when eating your food at the beach. Duh-doy. Also learn how Seagulls are the unsung Eco-champions of our planet - at their own cost. Ooh, bet you're DYING to know how Seagulls are actually the good guys. Go on, give this episode a click. You know it makes sense. Charity of the week this week is the INCREDIBLE Scottish Seabird Centre, you can find them at: www.seabird.org. Check out the brilliant and hilarious Lucy Lapwing on Instagram to join her on her countryside jaunts and learn some incredible nature facts! www.instagram.com/lucy_lapwing
S1 E6 · Wed, April 12, 2023
Episode 6 - Sloths, with Ana María Villada Rosales and Andrés Bräutigam
Are you curious to know why Sloths are better than Jackie Chan? Want to hear stories of these baby-stealing, frog-butt-munching, animatronic animals? Look no further, my friends. Rest your weary eyes, sit back and listen to the dulcet tones of the jungle, with Alice's hilarious guests all the way from Costa Rica - Wildlife Veterinarians Ana and Andrés. Did you think Sloths were cute and cuddly? Egg on your face. But, don't worry, it's not too late to sit down and learn some ACTUAL facts about them that will blow your freaking mind. Guaranteed. Our charities of the week this week (in honour of having two guests on the podcast) are: The Sloth Conservation Foundation and The Sloth Institute. Please consider helping to support them if you can, if you've loved what you've learned about Sloths today. Info is as follows: The Sloth Conservation Foundation: www.slothconservation.org The Sloth Institute: www.slothinstitute.org. Don't forget to sign the Petition to help SAVE the incredible Sloth Institute from corrupt Costa Rican government officials - help them continue to rescue, rehabilitation and release sloths that are facing an increasingly dangerous world. www.change.org/savethesloths.
Wed, March 29, 2023
Episode 5 - Red Foxes, with Chris Packham
This week on "Asshole Animals, with Alice", Alice is joined by the inspirational and punk-rock Chris Packham today to talk all things Red Fox – dispelling myths about their asshole nature and also finding the time to discuss Pangolins, Disney and Jimi Hendrix. If you love The Really Wild Show, Springwatch, or any of Chris Packham's other many wildlife projects - this episode is NOT to be missed. Remember, if you've loved what you heard and want to support Alice in making these podcasts, head over to her Patreon to become a donor and help her make you laugh and learn about the assholes of the animal kingdom! www.patreon.com/assholeanimalswithalice.
S1 E4 · Wed, March 15, 2023
Episode 4 - Meerkats, with Dan Sutton
This week, Alice takes a journey to the Kalahari desert to discuss the most murderous, mischief-making mongoose species: Meerkats! She's joined by the brilliant and hilarious Dan Sutton, who helps her answer the question you've all been dying to know: Are meerkats heavier than a cloud? Have a listen and never view Timon the same way again! Our Charity of the Week this week is the African Wildlife Foundation, helping to protect the habitats of Meerkats and other AMAZING African species: www.awf.org.
S1 E3 · Tue, February 28, 2023
Episode 3, Otters with "Jungle Jordan".
Ever wondered how long it takes for an Otter to get into drag? The incredible YouTube and Instagram sensation Jungle Jordan joins Alice this week to discuss all things squeaky and bitey as they dive into the world of Otters! A strong start to the "Animals who look cute and cuddly but are actually gigantic assholes" anthology, prepare to have your world shattered as you learn more about these whimsical water-weasels! You can learn more fascinating animal facts from Jungle Jordan on his Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/junglejordan23/ his YouTube page: https://www.youtube.com/@JungleJordanVeasley OR his Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/JungleJordan23. Our Charity of the Week this week is the incredible International Otter Survival Fund, which you can find here at www.otter.org. And a big shout out to a project mentioned by Jordan, the River Otter Ecology Project: https://riverotterecology.org/, which is based in California!
S1 E2 · Sun, February 05, 2023
Episode 2 - Yellowjacket Wasps with Dr Greg Dickens
Have you ever found yourself wondering what type of band a Yellowjacket Wasp would be in? Ponder no further! The brilliant Dr Greg Dickens, Wild-animal vet, Cambridge-graduate and militant Wasp-apologist, joins Alice this week to discuss our least favourite picnic companions! Guaranteed to change the way you think of these sting-happy little bastards, tune in to see what all the buzz is about! You can find Greg on Instagram on the following accounts: www.instagram.com/drgregdickens www.instagram.com/wildbradberrys As well as check out learn more about the AMAZING Bug Farm, run by Dr Sarah Beynon in Pembrokeshire, Wales. https://www.thebugfarm.co.uk/ Also don't forget to check out our Charity of the Week, which is Bug Life! www.buglife.org.uk.
S1 E1 · Fri, January 20, 2023
Episode 1 - Capuchins, with Yve Morrin
Did you know that Capuchins get high off of Millipedes? Or that Dolphins can swim through trees? Find out some more incredible facts and get into some real monkey business when Alice talks to Primatologist, Yve Morrin, about her experiences (and horror stories) with Capuchins!
S1 Enull · Fri, January 06, 2023
Episode 0 - An Introduction to Asshole Animals, with Alice.
Love animals? Love it when they're jerks? Love hearing an English Zookeeper tell her stories of working with said jerks? Love solving mysteries of why Mother Nature can make animals such jerky jerks? Buckle in, my friends. We're going on a WILD ride to explore animal behaviour in a comedic fashion, and I'm your tour guide - Alice. Exits are to your left and please keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times.
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