From Surviving to Thriving: A No Tools, No Techniques Shift from Stress and Overwhelm to Fulfilment
From Surviving to Thriving is your guide to a life of calm, fulfilment, and freedom. Join Clare Downham, international Transformational Coach and Mentor, as she reveals the no-tools, no-techniques shift to overcome stress, silence self-doubt, and embrace your true potential. Discover actionable insights rooted in alignment and authenticity to help you thrive in every aspect of life; work, personal life, relationships, health and self-care . Visit www.claredownham.com to learn more and join the Thriving Woman Masterclass for deeper transformation. Subscribe now! claredownham.substack.com
Fri, April 25, 2025
There’s Nothing Wrong with You Even When You’re Overwhelmed
The inner critic says you’re not coping. But what if the very fact that you feel overwhelmed means your system is working. It’s speaking, asking for stillness? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, April 23, 2025
Overwhelm Isn’t a Problem to Solve. It’s a Signal to Soften
You’ve been taught to meet overwhelm with urgency. To fix, to push, to override. But what if overwhelm is an invitation? A doorway back to yourself. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, April 18, 2025
How do I Stop Feeling so Overwhelmed?
You don’t have to fix overwhelm.You don’t have to fight it.You just have to stop believing the thought that says it shouldn’t be there. What if your emotions are doing exactly what they’re meant to do? Let me know what shifts when you hear that. From Surviving to Thriving is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, April 16, 2025
Why You Still Feel Overwhelmed, Even When Your List Isn’t That Long
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Fri, April 11, 2025
You Don’t Have to Believe Every Thought That Says ‘You’re Behind’
That feeling of falling behind… it’s heavy, isn’t it? Like you’ll never catch up. But what if that urgency isn’t coming from reality — it’s coming from a thought? In this post, I explore how our inner critic fuels overwhelm with stories of not-enoughness, and how you can begin to question those stories with gentleness, not judgment. A breath of space in a world that keeps saying, “Go faster.” From Surviving to Thriving is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, April 09, 2025
Overwhelm Isn’t Just a Time Problem. It’s a Thought Problem
We often blame the to-do list for our stress. But what if it’s not the list that’s overwhelming. It’s the thoughts we’re believing about it? In this post, I explore the hidden mental narratives that create urgency, drive perfectionism, and leave us feeling behind before the day has even begun. A gentle invitation to pause, breathe, and see overwhelm in a whole new way. From Surviving to Thriving is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, April 04, 2025
From Coping to Crashing: The Hidden Build-Up
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Wed, April 02, 2025
Why High Achievers Miss the Signs of Overwhelm
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Fri, March 21, 2025
Why Can't I Take Action?
Whether in our business, health or relationships often times, it can feel like we are blocked from taking the action we know will be helpful. From Surviving to Thriving is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, March 20, 2025
How to Stop Feeling Grumpy
Waking up feeling grumpy or generally feeling like that throughout the day. Here's a perspective shift which can bring some relief! From Surviving to Thriving is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, March 19, 2025
Are you being kind to yourself?
I speak to so many high achieving clients who are super hard on themselves. The inner critic keeps them stuck in self hatred and cruelly tells them they are never doing enough. There is something transformational in seeing how this is playing out and beginning to let it go. That's what I am exploring in this session. From Surviving to Thriving is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, March 17, 2025
The Secret to Success? Doing What Feels Hard (Here’s Why)
We often think success comes from following the right strategy or doing what others have done—but that’s not it. The real secret? Doing the hard things that scare you. From Surviving to Thriving is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, March 17, 2025
You’re Not a Fraud—Your Inner Critic is Just Really Loud
Is that voice in your head going on and on about how you shouldn't be where you are doing what you are doing? Join me as I explore how to stop listening to that voice and stop seeing yourself as a fraud. From Surviving to Thriving is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, February 27, 2025
This Voice in Your Head is Lying to You (Stop Believing It!)
The other day, I got lost on the way to my hair appointment—not because I didn’t know the way, but because I listened to the wrong voice in my head. My inner critic told me to take the "longer" route, even though my inner knowing had already given me the right answer. The result? I was late. This is exactly what happens in life, too. Your inner critic is predictable—it always shows up just as your inner knowing does. It plants doubt, makes you second-guess yourself, and keeps you stuck in overthinking. In this session, I’ll show you how to recognise the BS patterns of your inner critic so you can stop letting it derail your decisions. Where has this happened to you? Let’s explore together. 🚀 Tune in until the end & reflect on where your inner critic has been running the show in your life. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, January 22, 2025
Guilt Be Gone
Guilt can create an awful feeling and take us away from present moment wisdom. Straight off the back of a beautiful call with a client, I am sharing what I hope will be helpful about guilt and how to have it fall away from your life. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, January 14, 2025
What If Your Thoughts Aren’t the Problem
Do you ever feel stuck in your thoughts, believing they define you or control your reality? In this talk, we’ll explore how thoughts are transient, like passing clouds, and how observing them without over-identifying can free you from unnecessary suffering. Discover the peace that comes from seeing your thoughts for what they truly are—just thoughts, not the truth of who you are. From Surviving to Thriving is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, December 20, 2024
The Truth About Chasing Calm: Why It’s Keeping You Stressed
Are you chasing calm, thinking peace is something to find outside yourself? Discover why this endless pursuit creates stress and suffering—and how true calm is already within you. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, December 18, 2024
Effortless Inner Clarity With The Inside-Out Understanding
What if clarity and calm weren’t things you needed to create, but were already part of who you are? In this episode, we’ll explore how the inside-out understanding reveals effortless clarity by showing you that your experience is always coming from within. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, December 16, 2024
How to Cultivate Calm Without Doing More
You don’t need more tools or techniques to cultivate calm. Discover the power of seeing calm as your natural state. Thanks for listening to From Surviving to Thriving! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, December 11, 2024
Why Calm Isn’t What You Think It Is
Most people misunderstand calm. In this episode, we’ll explore what calm truly is—and isn’t—so you can experience it effortlessly. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, December 11, 2024
I feel like I need to be in control
A source of overwhelm for me is needing to feel in control. I need to do everything now or within a certain time frame because it’s what I can control. It’s a lot that I put on my own shoulders. I can’t give up that control. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, December 09, 2024
How to Stay Grounded in the Midst of Chaos
Chaos doesn’t have to disrupt your peace. In this episode, learn how to stay grounded and centred, no matter what life throws your way. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, December 09, 2024
The Truth About Calm: Why You Don’t Need to Seek It
Are you searching for calm like it’s something to achieve? Discover why calm isn’t something to chase but something already within you, waiting to be seen. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, December 06, 2024
Discover the Secret to Sustainable Calm
Learn how to experience calm without tools or techniques. This video reveals the truth about sustainable calm, offering a fresh perspective on managing stress and cultivating inner clarity. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, December 04, 2024
Trying to Observe Thoughts
Question: I’m supposed to observe my thoughts with curiosity. However, as soon as I try to do that, the thought just withers away. Is that normal? The moment I try to observe the thought, I become conscious that I’m trying to observe the thought. Then I can no longer observe the thought. Because it goes away. Are there ways to keep my thoughts around while I’m observing them and appreciating them? Thank you! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, March 13, 2024
Empowerment Over Calm: Unleashing Your Entrepreneurial Potential
Join me in this special episode as I share the exciting news of my transition from the Queen of Calm branding to a Success Mentor for Emerging and Established Female Entrepreneurs. In this episode, I'll discuss the reasons behind this change and how it aligns with my evolving philosophy of empowerment and self-discovery. Discover why I believe that true success comes from embracing our innate potential, following our intuition, and sharing our unique gifts with the world. Get ready to embark on this new chapter of empowerment and transformation with me! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, August 23, 2023
The Gift of Forgiveness
Are past resentments affecting your relationships? In this live session, we'll delve into the transformative power of forgiveness through the lens of the 3 Principles, liberating you from the burdens of the past and nurturing connections. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, August 22, 2023
Mindful Presence in Relationships
Is your mind often preoccupied, hindering your presence in relationships? Discover how the 3 Principles can guide you to cultivate mindful awareness, fostering deeper connections and more meaningful interactions. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, August 21, 2023
Awakening Gratitude in Relationships
Are you seeking more positivity and joy in your relationships? Join us to explore how the 3 Principles can open the door to gratitude and appreciation, nurturing a sense of fulfilment and harmony in your connections. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, August 18, 2023
Embracing Unconditional Love
Are you yearning for more love and acceptance in your relationships? Join us to explore the 3 Principles' perspective on unconditional love, empowering you to liberate your heart and experience profound connections with others. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, August 17, 2023
People are Not Who We Think They Are
Every moment of everyday we are living in a thought created reality, seeing the world as we are not as other people are. As we begin to see this, the connection we have with others becomes deeper and more aligned. Join me as I explore this from a 3 Principles perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, August 16, 2023
Creating Boundaries with Grace
Are you struggling to set healthy boundaries in your relationships? Join us to explore how the 3 Principles can guide you in establishing boundaries with grace and assertiveness, empowering you to build more balanced connections. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, August 15, 2023
Navigating Difficult Conversations
Are conflicts causing strain in your relationships? Discover how the 3 Principles can transform the way you approach difficult conversations, fostering growth and understanding in your connections. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, August 14, 2023
Cultivating Emotional Intelligence in Relationships
Want to respond with greater emotional intelligence in your relationships? Discover how the 3 Principles can enhance your awareness and empower you to respond thoughtfully, creating more harmonious connections. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, August 11, 2023
Nurturing Compassion and Understanding
Do you want to cultivate deeper understanding in your relationships? In this live session, we'll explore how the 3 Principles can guide you in fostering compassion, strengthening bonds, and enhancing connections. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, August 10, 2023
Connecting with Intuition to Guide Your Relationships
Are you seeking clarity and guidance in your relationships? Learn how the 3 Principles can empower you to connect with your intuition, enhancing your decision-making and deepening your connections with others. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, August 09, 2023
Embracing Vulnerability as The Gateway to Intimacy
Are you yearning for deeper intimacy and closeness with others? In this live session, we'll delve into the 3 Principles' transformative perspective on vulnerability, unlocking the path to more profound and meaningful connections. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, August 08, 2023
Navigating Relationship Challenges with Resilience
Life's challenges can put a strain on relationships. Learn how the 3 Principles can help you build emotional resilience and navigate through difficulties with grace, fostering harmonious connections and understanding. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, August 07, 2023
Freeing Yourself from Relationship Patterns
Feeling stuck in recurring relationship patterns? This live session will introduce you to the wisdom of the 3 Principles, offering insights on the art of letting go of frustrations and creating space for positive transformation in your connections. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, August 04, 2023
Empowered Communication Through Listening with Presence
Are communication breakdowns causing stress and tension in your relationships? Join us to explore how the 3 Principles can enhance your listening skills and empower you to engage in authentic, present communication for deeper connections. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, August 03, 2023
Relationship Perfectionism to Authentic Connection
Do you find it challenging to be authentic and vulnerable in your relationships? In this live session, we'll delve into the transformative insights of the 3 Principles, guiding you to release perfectionism and embrace your unique self for more meaningful connections. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, August 02, 2023
Taming the Inner Critic & Cultivating Self-Compassion
Is your inner critic holding you back from building fulfilling relationships? Discover how the 3 Principles can help you quiet the negative self-talk and foster self-compassion, empowering you to nurture stronger, more positive connections with others. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, August 01, 2023
Unleash Authentic Connections by Embracing Your True Self
Are you tired of feeling disconnected and drained in your relationships? Join this live session to uncover the keys to authentic connections, as we explore the power of the 3 Principles to liberate you from imposter syndrome and embrace your true self. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, July 28, 2023
Mastering Focus: A 3 Principles Perspective on Distraction
Struggling to maintain focus in a world full of distractions? Join Clare for this insightful 3 Principles talk and master the art of focus. Discover the keys to cultivating deep concentration, overcoming distractions, and harnessing the power of presence for enhanced productivity. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, July 27, 2023
Overcoming Overwhelm with the 3 Principles
Overwhelmed by the demands of life and work? Join Clare for this empowering 3 Principles-based talk and gain a fresh perspective on overcoming overwhelm. Explore the principles of simplicity, presence, and self-awareness to regain control, find balance, and thrive in the face of overwhelm. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ https://insighttimer.com/queenofcalm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, July 26, 2023
Powered by Calm with The 3 Principles
We live in a busy world where feeling stressed out, anxious and overwhelmed seems to have become the norm. But what if it doesn't have to be that way? What if living a wonderful life powered by calm was actually not as hard as you think? Join Clare to explore this from a 3 Principles perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, July 25, 2023
Fostering Innovation: Insights from the 3 Principles
Looking to foster innovation in your life and work? Join Clare in this thought-provoking 3 Principles session and gain insights into fostering innovation. Explore the principles of creativity, embrace a growth mindset, and discover how the 3 Principles can unleash your innovative potential. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, July 24, 2023
What's in the Way of Easy Productivity and What to Do About It
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Does it seem like your to do list is getting longer everyday? Join Clare for a 3 Principles based talk which will help you to become more aware of what is in the way of easeful productivity and experience more ease every day. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, July 20, 2023
Cultivating Mindfulness for Effortless Productivity with the 3 Principles
Seeking a mindful approach to productivity? Join Clare for this enlightening 3 Principles-based talk and cultivate mindfulness for effortless productivity. Learn how to integrate mindfulness practices into your daily life, enhance focus and presence, and achieve a harmonious balance between productivity and well-being. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, July 18, 2023
Inspiring Creativity: Exploring the 3 Principles Perspective
Want to unleash your creative potential? Join Clare in this transformative 3 Principles session and explore the principles that ignite creativity. Discover the connection between creativity and productivity, tap into your innate creative genius, and unlock new dimensions of innovation. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, July 14, 2023
Embracing Imperfection: Wisdom from the 3 Principles
Ready to let go of perfectionism and embrace imperfection? Join Clare for this insightful 3 Principles talk and discover the liberating wisdom of imperfection. Release self-imposed pressure, cultivate self-compassion, and unlock your productivity by embracing the beauty of imperfection. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, July 13, 2023
Rediscovering Your Drive: The Power of the 3 Principles
Feeling stuck and lacking drive? Join Clare in this empowering 3 Principles session and rediscover your inner drive. Explore the principles of motivation, tap into your innate potential, and reignite your passion for personal and professional success. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, July 12, 2023
Breaking Free from Procrastination: A 3 Principles Approach
Struggling with procrastination and seeking a way out? Join Clare for this enlightening 3 Principles-based talk and break free from the chains of procrastination. Discover the root causes of procrastination, gain insights on overcoming resistance, and unleash your productivity with ease. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, July 11, 2023
Igniting Motivation: Insights from the 3 Principles
Feeling demotivated and looking for a spark of inspiration? Join Clare in this transformative 3 Principles session to ignite your motivation. Explore the principles of intrinsic motivation, cultivate a growth mindset, and discover how the 3 Principles can rekindle your passion for success. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, July 10, 2023
Unleashing Your Productivity Potential with the 3 Principles
Are you ready to tap into your untapped productivity potential? Join Clare for this engaging 3 Principles-based talk and unlock the secrets to effortless productivity. Discover the power of clarity, focus, and alignment with the 3 Principles, and unleash your productivity like never before. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, June 30, 2023
An End to Being Triggered from a 3 Principles Perspective
Want to stop being triggered and discover inner calm? Join this enlightening 3 Principles talk with Clare to get insights into the nature of triggers and learn how to navigate them with grace and resilience. Experience profound shifts as you embrace your wisdom and reclaim your emotional well-being. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, June 29, 2023
Understanding The 3 Principles to Awaken Your Creative Spark
Are you seeking to awaken your creative spark and express your true potential? Discover the transformative power of creativity through the lens of the 3 Principles with Clare, igniting inspiration and unlocking the depths of your creative potential. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, June 28, 2023
Breaking Free from Fear with The 3 Principles
Do you find that fear is holding you back? Are you ready to break free and unleash your true potential with courage? Join Clare as she shares profound insights from the 3 Principles, empowering you to move beyond limitations, embrace change, and tap into your boundless possibilities. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, June 27, 2023
Taming the Inner Critic
Ready to break free from the grip of your inner critic? Join this empowering session as we explore the 3 Principles to tame self-doubt and cultivate self-compassion. Learn powerful strategies to quiet the critical voice within, foster a kinder inner dialogue, and unlock your true potential. Embrace this transformative journey of self-acceptance and reclaim your confidence. It's time to silence the inner critic and step into your greatness. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, June 26, 2023
Building Resilient Relationships with the 3 Principles
Ready to build resilient relationships and discover the potential in connection? Explore the transformative power of relationships through the lens of the 3 Principles with Clare, fostering deeper connections and unlocking the richness they offer. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, June 23, 2023
Harnessing Your Intuition to Reach Your Potential
Do you ever feel like you are missing out on your true potential? Are you ready to tap into your inner wisdom and unleash what’s ready and waiting for you to share with the world? Join Clare as she dives into the profound teachings of the 3 Principles, guiding you to cultivate a deep connection with your intuition for greater clarity and purpose. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, June 22, 2023
Move from Comparison to Celebration with Ease
Tired of comparing yourself and ready to celebrate your unique potential? Want to break free and live life from you unique potential? Discover how the 3 Principles can free you from the trap of comparison and empower you to embrace your authentic self with Clare's illuminating insights. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, June 21, 2023
Unlocking Confidence the 3 Principles Way
Looking to unlock unwavering confidence and embrace self-belief? Do you feel like you have tried everything to do that? Join Clare in this enlightening session, grounded in the principles of the 3 Principles, as she guides you on a transformative journey of self-empowerment and renewed confidence in a much simpler way than you might think. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, June 20, 2023
The Answer to Your Wellbeing is NOT in the Past
Does it feel like your experience of wellbeing is only available by resolving things in the past? Have you been encouraged to poke and prod around looking for the answers there? What if you have been looking in the wrong direction? Join Clare for this 3 Principles based talk which will guide you to see that accessing wellbeing is not a process involving the past and that experiencing feelings of calm may be much simpler than you think. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, June 19, 2023
The Power of Presence in Revealing Your Potential
It can seem like revealing your potential involves doing so much but what if it was simpler than you think. What if unlocking your potential was as simple as being in the present moment? Join Clare as she explores the transformative wisdom of the 3 Principles, guiding you to fully embrace the present moment and discover the richness it holds. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, June 16, 2023
Finding Flow with The 3 Principles
Are you seeking to access the flow state and unleash your creative potential? Would you like to experience more calm and clarity as you go through your day? Discover how the 3 Principles can guide you in finding effortless performance and tapping into the wellspring of creativity within you in this insightful session with me. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, June 15, 2023
Transforming Self-Sabotage with The 3 Principles
Are you ready to overcome self-sabotage and unlock your innate potential for success? Would you like to be, do and feel more of your true self? Join me as I share powerful insights from the 3 Principles, empowering you to transform self-limiting patterns and embrace your true potential. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, June 14, 2023
Embracing the Unknown
Curious about stepping into the unknown and exploring endless possibilities? Join Clare as she delves into the transformative insights of the 3 Principles, guiding you to embrace uncertainty and tap into your inherent potential. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, June 13, 2023
A Simple Equation for Performance
Would you like to perform better at work, in your business or even in your personal life? Does that feel like a huge undertaking that will take forever? In this session, Clare will share a simple equation which can liberate you from things which are in the way of your performance with a lot less effort than you might think. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, June 12, 2023
Awaken Awareness for Greater Potential
Are you ready to awaken the observer within and unleash greater potential? Would you like to experience the transformative power of non-judgemental awareness? Join Clare as she explores the role of awareness through the lens of the 3 Principles, empowering you to navigate life with clarity and purpose so that you can reveal your greater potential. Find out more about working with me: https://pensight.com/x/claredownham Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, June 09, 2023
Limitation to Liberation by Transcending Thought Patterns
Want to break free from limiting thought patterns and experience liberation? Join Clare in this insightful session, rooted in the 3 Principles, to discover how transcending your thoughts can unlock your true potential. Find out more here: https://pensight.com/x/claredownham Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, June 07, 2023
Discovering Inner Resilience & Embracing Adversity for Growth
Are you ready to embrace adversity and unlock your inner resilience? Join me as I explores the 3 Principles, revealing how you can harness the power within to grow and thrive, even in the face of challenges. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, June 05, 2023
Quiet Mind, Infinite Possibilities
Are you ready to explore the limitless possibilities that lie within a quiet mind? Join me in this thought-provoking session rooted in the profound insights of the 3 Principles. Learn to tap into the boundless potential that emerges when the noise of the mind settles, allowing for clarity, creativity, and new perspectives. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, June 02, 2023
Unveiling the Power Within with The 3 Principles
Do you have the sense that you could be, do and have more? A feeling that your potential is not being fulfilled? Join Clare as she begins an exploration into unveiling your potential through the 3 Principles transformation conversation. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, May 31, 2023
What are the 3 Principles and Why Do They Bring More Ease to Your Life?
If you have been following me for a while, you will know that I teach an understanding known as The 3 Principles. The thing is, I don’t actually talk about those principles very much on their own. I tend to talk more about the implications of them for how we live our lives. In this session, I will let you know about the 3 Principles and how they are helpful in bringing more ease to your life. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, May 26, 2023
Beyond Strategies: Using Inner Wisdom for Problem Solving
Are you tired of relying on external strategies and techniques for problem solving? Join Clare as she dives into the realm of inner wisdom and explore how the 3 Principles can revolutionize your approach. Discover the limitless potential of thought, the intelligence of the mind, and the expansiveness of consciousness. Learn to tap into your innate wisdom and unleash innovative solutions to even the most complex problems. Join us for an insightful journey toward a deeper understanding of problem solving from within. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, May 24, 2023
Unlocking Clarity: Problem Solving Through the Lens of the 3 Principles
Join Clare as she explores the transformative power of the 3 Principles in problem solving. In this session, we'll delve into the nature of thought, the wisdom of the mind, and the role of consciousness. Discover how understanding these principles can bring newfound clarity to any challenge you encounter. Gain insights into the innate problem-solving abilities within you and learn to navigate obstacles with ease and resilience. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, May 22, 2023
Trusting Your Gut: A 3 Principles Approach to Intuitive Problem Solving
Do you feel lost in a sea of problems you have to solve? Would you like more ease around problem solving and be able to trust your gut? Join Clare to learn a simple understanding of how the mind works known as the 3 principles, which will allow you to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. As a result, you can journey from stressed, overwhelmed and anxious to calm, balance and clarity. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, May 19, 2023
The Power of Curiosity in Problem Solving
Does it feel like you have a lot of problems? Do you feel stuck, stressed and overwhelmed about them? Does anxiety about your problems regularly rear its head? What if it were easier than you think to solve problems with ease? Join Clare to learn a simple understanding of how the mind works known as the 3 principles, which will allow you to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. As a result, you can journey from stressed, overwhelmed and anxious to calm, balance and clarity. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, May 17, 2023
Problem Solving with Innovation and Creativity
Do you feel stuck around problems in your business or life? Would you like to find creative solutions more easily? Join Clare to learn a simple understanding of how the mind works known as the 3 principles, which will allow you to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. As a result, you can journey from stressed, overwhelmed and anxious to calm, balance and clarity. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, May 12, 2023
The Role of Intuition in Decision Making
Do you find making decisions hard? Would you like to feel more connected to intuition when you make them? Join Clare to learn a simple understanding of how the mind works known as the 3 principles, which will allow you to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. As a result, you can journey from stressed, overwhelmed and anxious to calm, balance and clarity. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, May 11, 2023
From Analysis Paralysis to Action the 3 Principles Way
Do you find yourself caught up in analysis paralysis? Would you like to get unstuck and take action in your life and business? Then join Clare to learn a simple understanding of how the mind works known as the 3 principles, which will allow you to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. As a result, you can journey from stressed, overwhelmed and anxious to calm, balance and clarity. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, May 10, 2023
Let Go of Overthinking so You Can Solve Problems More Easily
Do you regularly get into a state of overthinking when you have decisions to make? Would you like to let go of overthinking and solve problems more easily? Join Clare to learn a simple understanding of how the mind works known as the 3 principles, which will allow you to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition so you you can journey from stressed, overwhelmed and anxious to calm, balance and clarity. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, May 05, 2023
The Power of Clarity to Make Decisions with Confidence
Are you struggling to make decisions in your professional and personal life? Do you feel like you lack the confidence to make that final call on things? Join Clare to learn a simple understanding of how the mind works known as the 3 principles, which will allow you to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. As a result, you can journey from stressed, overwhelmed and anxious to calm, balance and clarity. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, May 04, 2023
Letting Go of the Need for Control and Embracing Uncertainty
Does you feel like you need to control everything in your business (and life too)? Does the fear of uncertainty keep you up at night? Join Clare to learn a simple understanding of how the mind works known as the 3 principles, which will allow you to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. As a result, you can journey from stressed, overwhelmed and anxious to calm, balance and clarity. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, May 03, 2023
How to Find Calm in the Chaos of Running a Business
Are you feeling overwhelmed in the chaos of running your business? Does it seem like you cannot escape the stress? Join Clare to learn a simple understanding of how the mind works known as the 3 principles, which will allow you to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. As a result, you can journey from stressed, overwhelmed and anxious to calm, balance and clarity. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, April 28, 2023
The Illusion of Balance
Join Clare for an exploration of the illusion of balance so you can experience calm, balance and clarity and create a life that you love. During this session you will be taught a simple understanding of how your mind works which helps to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, April 26, 2023
You Don't Need Time Management Strategies
The mission to manage time through strategies, tools and techniques can seem like a never ending one. So we spend time trying to manage time in order to have more time out of our businesses. But what if it doesn't have to be that hard? Join Clare for an exploration of why you don’t need time management strategies so you can experience calm, balance and clarity and create a life that you love. During this session you will be taught a simple understanding of how your mind works which helps to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, April 24, 2023
How to Have Nicer Relationships (with everyone)
Do you have some relationships which seem to be creating a lot of stress in your life? Does it look like some people need to change for you to be okay? Join Clare for an exploration of how to have nicer relationships so you can experience calm, balance and clarity and create a life that you love. During this session you will be taught a simple understanding of how your mind works which helps to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, April 21, 2023
How Self-Care Can Emerge With Ease
Are you feeling overwhelmed with trying to make self-care part of your daily routine? Does it feel like another thing to do? Join Clare for an exploration of how self-care can emerge with ease when you understand how the mind works. Which means that you can experience calm, balance and clarity and create a life that you love from a place of self-awareness and connection to intuition. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, April 19, 2023
How to Have Difficult Conversations
Do you feel stressed out about difficult conversations you have to have? Planning for difficult conversations can seem like something to do but how about if we don’t make up conversations to be difficult in the first place? If we go in from a place of presence something different might emerge. Join Clare for an exploration of how to have difficult conversations so you can experience calm, balance and clarity in your relationships and create a life that you love. During this session you will be taught a simple understanding of how your mind works which helps to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, April 17, 2023
Creating the Balance Between Business and Relationships
Does creating balance between your business and relationships feel like another thing to do? Another complication in your already busy life. But when you see that the whole thing is built on a thought created illusion, that balance naturally emerges. Join Clare for an exploration of how to create balance between business and relationships so you can experience calm, balance and clarity and create a life that you love. During this session you will be taught a simple understanding of how your mind works which helps to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, April 13, 2023
Avoiding Overwhelm in Life and Business
Join Clare for an exploration of how to avoid overwhelm in life and business so you can experience calm, balance and clarity and create a life that you love. During this session you will be taught a simple understanding of how your mind works which helps to develop self-awareness and connection to intuition. Leave your busy intellectual mind behind and listen like you would listen to music, in the background. Remember that you can listen to this again and again to deepen your access to calm, balance and clarity in your life and business. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, April 12, 2023
Balancing Work and Personal Relationships
Many female business owners I speak to struggle with finding a balance between their work and personal relationships. Running a business can be all-consuming, which can leave little time or energy for nurturing personal relationships. Creating that illusive balance can then seem like another thing to do or manage. But once we understand the inside out understanding deeply, that balance can naturally emerge. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, April 11, 2023
How to Manage When You Feel Irritable
Do you ever wake up feeling irritable? Like there is a big black cloud over your head. Trust me, I know how that can be - me too! Do you find yourself trying to shift that feeling? Working hard to make it go away. What would it be like if you realised you did not have to do that? Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, April 10, 2023
Understanding the Science of Stress to Transform Your Relationships
Stress is often sighted as something to be managed. But what if there is much more benefit from understanding it. Through simple neuroscience and the 3 principles we can understand stress better which has a huge impact on our lives and relationships Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, April 06, 2023
How Response-Ability Helps Us Feel Less Stressed
Have you noticed what happens when you act from a place of reaction? You tend to snap, say unkind things especially to the people you love. The way you are with the people around you is completely different when you are calm. When you are in a calm state, you are response-able! You still might feel the need to express something to someone but the way you do that will be very different. Want to learn how to be more response-able then understanding how the mind works is vital. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, April 05, 2023
Stress, Tiredness and The Impact on Our Relationships
Tiredness is often a key symptom of stress. Not sleeping properly or feeling tired even though you are sleeping well. Once we are tired we are not our best. We tend to be more reactive to the world around us including other people. Having an awareness of our state of mind when we are tired and how that impacts on our interactions with other people is super helpful. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, April 04, 2023
How Anxiety Surfaces in Relationships
Anxiety often surfaces in relationships. It can cause us to behave in ways which do not create harmony. Once we become aware of the way the mind works, we can begin to see this at play. Once we see it, it begins to fade away. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, April 03, 2023
What Seems to Prevent Relationships Being Calm
I suspect we would all like our relationships to be calm. For the to be full of ease and love. But that can seem hard can't it. Especially because other people are involved. 😂 And relationships can seem like a huge cause of stress. This month I will be exploring relationships and how to have calmer ones. Join me as I start this exploration from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, March 30, 2023
Intuition vs Ego
After yesterday’s session, I received a beautiful question from a listener so today I am going to explore what he asked. “I have a question about intuition vs. ego. I have a hard time differentiating the two. My ego has often led me down the wrong path, when I thought it was intuition. Now I'm afraid to listen to my inner voice because I don't know whether it truly is my intuition or my ego in intuition's clothing.” Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, March 29, 2023
Your Dance of Life
There’s a tune inside you playing. You might call it wisdom or intuition. The beat of your own drum. If you were still a child you would just get up and dance. You would not hold back. You would not hear a voice in your head telling you to stop. You would not feel an anxious feeling. Imagine your life as that voice begins to dissolve. Can you see yourself dancing to your own, amazing tune? What would you do? Where would you go? What would you create? Sit with yourself before the inner critic. Listen to that voice. The voice before your conditioned, habitual thinking. That’s your next step. Just take it and trust. Ignore the voice saying stop; it is the past or the future not the present. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, March 28, 2023
Confidence Doesn't Exist
I have been exploring confidence over the last few weeks. I have looked at it from various angles. My conclusion is that it does not exist. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, March 27, 2023
Enchanted by Life
As my exploration of the 3 Principles has gone on over the last few years have noticed a change in how I see the world. I am present more. I notice more. I am more in a place of enchantment with what is around me. How can something so simple be so transformational? Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/calm Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, March 23, 2023
Challenging the Definition of Confidence part 3
The last part of me having an argument with ChatGPT about confidence 😂 Here's what ChatGPT said, 'Confidence can also be fragile and subject to fluctuations, especially in situations where there is uncertainty, ambiguity, or high-stakes. Therefore, it is essential to cultivate a healthy and realistic sense of confidence that is grounded in self-awareness, self-care, and continuous learning and growth.' You will have to tune in to find out what I said but the general conclusion is that confidence does not exist to how about we all stop pursuing it. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, March 22, 2023
You Cannot Lose Your Confidence
You cannot loose your confidence any more than a diamond is lost if it gets covered in dirt. Because confidence is one of those traits which is inherent. It is part of your diamond inside. In other words it exists in you as a permanent, essential, or characteristic attribute. In fact I am so sure of this that I challenge you to show me a baby who lacks confidence. Have you noticed how they are always the first ones on the dance floor at any wedding or family party? Now I also realise that sometimes you find it difficult to see that in yourself. Your conditioned thinking has been around a long time and it is very convincing. It is very good at covering up the truth of who you are. So I invite you to gently look in that direction. Just peek towards the idea that you have the same amount of confidence as everyone else and see what happens. Just like if I told you there was a diamond under the soil, you would have a go at cleaning off the dirt to see. If you would like help looking in that direction, you know where I am. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, March 21, 2023
Can Confidence be Developed?
If you search 'develop confidence' on Google you get 640,000,000 results. Fancy ploughing through that anyone? I recently began to understand why there are so many results. It's because the whole concept is flawed. Confidence is not something to be developed, it is something to be revealed. The whole idea of developing misunderstands how we work as humans. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, March 20, 2023
From Busy, Busy, Busy to Presence and Calm
I spent so many years being busy! I wore it like a badge of honour. 'How are you, Clare?', people would ask. 'Busy!', I would answer proudly. I was in a rush to get somewhere. Always with the sense of 'when I get x, I will feel y'. I tried to control people and circumstances and even MY thoughts, feelings, and behaviour. Busy! Busy! Busy! But once I realised that the outside world couldn't make me feel anything, I naturally slowed down. I stopped chasing my wellbeing in the outside world. Presence and calm came naturally. This spring, I can see the change in me. I am noticing so much more as beautiful nature comes back to life. A depth of presence. Returning to my natural state. Gratitude in every moment. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, March 16, 2023
Challenging the Definition of Confidence part 2
Here is part two of ChatGPT's definition of confidence. Confidence can manifest in various ways, such as the willingness to take risks, assertiveness in communicating, and the ability to handle challenges and setbacks with resilience. It can be built through experience, competence, positive feedback, and supportive relationships. Listen as I unpick this definition from an inside out perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, March 15, 2023
What is going on when confidence dips?
What is going on when confidence dips? … … can seem like a really complicated question to answer. Especially if we are to believe that confidence is something we get from the outside world; from tools and techniques designed to apparently build confidence. But what if what was actually happening was that confidence was simply being covered over by our conditioned thoughts about ourselves? What if it could actually be revealed any moment once we see that the self-doubting thoughts are not true. Imagine a world where you could do anything you wanted no matter what the voice in your head said. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, March 14, 2023
The Inherent Nature of Confidence
Confidence can easily look anything but inherent. It can feel more like something which is fleeting and hard to keep hold of. But something huge happens when we start to look towards the inherent nature of confidence. That which is there in very small children but then seems to disappear. Once you see that your confidence is permanent, essential and characteristic, a whole new version of you can emerge. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, March 13, 2023
Unpleasant Smells as a Metaphor for Feelings
Feelings have a lot in common with unpleasant smells. A metaphor which can help us see the nature of feelings. Once we see the nature of feelings and how they work, we can be less caught up in trying to change them. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, March 09, 2023
Challenging the Definition of Confidence part 1
I searched on ChatGPT for the definition of confidence. This is part one of what it said, 'Confidence generally refers to a belief or trust in oneself, one's abilities, knowledge, and judgment. It is a feeling or attitude of self-assurance and belief in one's capacity to accomplish a task or succeed in a particular situation.' Listen as I unpick this definition from an inside out perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, March 08, 2023
Unlearning to be Confident
We are all born confident. We learn some things which cover it up. Things which kept us safe at one stage. Things which are now getting in our way. We can unlearn those things. We can learn new ways to be, do and feel in the world. We just have to know it is possible. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, March 07, 2023
How Confidence Suddenly Appears (and disappears)
Do you feel like you are playing confidence hide and seek? Like it is there one moment and gone the next. Perhaps this is causing you to avoid things you would really love to do. Maybe it means you can't ask for what you want. Once you know that confidence is the constant and thought is the fluctuating part, all that changes. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, March 06, 2023
What Can Change as You Explore The 3 Principles
I have been exploring the 3 Principles for just over 3 years. This weekend I reflected on how I have changed. I thought you might like to hear about it. With the understanding that the change is possible for you too. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, March 02, 2023
How Confidence Suddenly Emerges
Have you noticed how confidence can suddenly emerge. Before you are doing the thing, anxiety is rising. When you step up and do it, the anxiety falls away. It's all about where your attention is. On thinking about the thing or doing the thing. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, March 01, 2023
A Simple Definition of Confidence
Confidence can seem complicated to understand. It can seem even more complicated to get. It looks like something we have to look for endlessly. But once you understand how confidence really works, it becomes naturally abundant. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, February 28, 2023
How to be More Confident in Any Situation
You might have noticed that you feel confident in some situations but not others. Maybe you think that it's because some situations are more comfortable. But really that's not true. Your feelings have nothing to do with the situation and everything to do with your thinking about the situation. Once you see this, you can do so much more no matter how you feel. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, February 27, 2023
What is Going on With Confidence?
Our confidence can seem to go up and down. Once minute we are rocking it. The next we feel wracked with fear. It can leave us unsure if confidence will show up when we need it. But the main problem is a misunderstanding about what confidence is. Once this misunderstanding is cleared, life gets easier. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, February 23, 2023
Productivity without Productivity Hacks
I went all round the houses looking for the way to be more productive. I tried every tool and techniques. I tried therapy. I poked around in the past looking for the cause. Then I met a coach. He taught me a simple truth. Productivity naturally emerged. No more tools and techniques. No more therapy. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, February 22, 2023
Simple Productivity Working From Home
Productivity working from home is so much harder than when you are in the office is yet another lie you have been told! It’s another outside-in lie. Your outside circumstances have no impact on your ability to do something. Unless there is actually someone sitting on your chest, preventing you from moving. I know it feels like it sometimes but there isn't really anyone there. If you can move your fingers on the keyboard, pick up the phone or make a video (or whatever else work looks like to you), you can get things done. The trouble is that as soon as you buy into the idea that working from home is harder, you start to experience that in your day. That’s a clever thing called confirmation bias (worth looking that up). The good news is that this can easier be reversed. All you have to do is begin a wonderful exploration of your inside out nature. As you understand your thoughts, feelings and behaviour better, you naturally move towards productivity no matter what the situation. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, February 21, 2023
Be More Productive Every Day
If you want to be more productive, the first thing is to get your hands on manual for you. Because everything works better once you have the manual. Even you! The manual gives you the means to understand! To understand your psycho-spiritual system. To understand your thoughts and feelings. To understand the reasons for your behaviour. Join me for a story today as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, February 20, 2023
Why Productivity Tools and Techniques Fail
I wonder how many productivity hacks you have tried. I invested in a fair few myself over the years. Some helped a bit but nothing really seemed to really resolve the issue. I realise now that it was because they were all outside hacks. They did not help me understand what what going on inside me. Once I understood the inside, the outside productivity fell into place. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, February 16, 2023
Why Do I Feel Demotivated?
Searching for the reason we don't feel motivated can take us down many rabbit holes. Therapy Tool and Techniques Many, many books I tried them all. To the point of frustration! Once we realise that it is simpler than we think, we can stop al that searching and get on with our lives. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, February 15, 2023
The Magic of Just Doing It!
Something amazing happens when you do something you have been resisting. A big chunk of your conditioning starts to fall away. It’s like the protection is no longer needed. The thinking which was keeping you safe. And the more you do it, the more free you become. Of course it helps to know that the feeling of resistance is coming from your conditioning and not from the thing you need to get done. It’s life changing when you see it. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, February 14, 2023
What love is and what it isn't!
There are some misunderstandings about love. They are like all the other misunderstandings about the human experience. They point to our experience being created outside in not inside out. The misunderstanding which creates so much suffering. Love is what you are made of. It is at your essence. It does not come from outside. When you see this, you find yourself feeling love more of the time. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, February 13, 2023
The Mystery of Motivation
It can seem like feeling motivated is something to seek. A feeling we can get from the outside world. There are all sorts of tips and tricks.Just try searching on Google!! But what if all this was based on a misunderstanding about what motivation really is. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, February 09, 2023
What Causes Perfectionism?
Have you ever pondered the cause of perfectionism? It's interesting and perhaps not what you expect. Once you see the cause, it begins to fall away. A subtle raising of awareness which changes everything. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, February 08, 2023
Putting Yourself Out There Fearlessly
How do you feel about putting yourself out there? Inviting people to work with you. Requesting a raise. Asking that special someone out on a date. Does fear come up. Does it feel like you can't do it. Do you stop in your tracks? Something amazing happens when you see the truth of our separate realities powerfully. You stop taking things personally and make the request. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, February 07, 2023
There’s No Such Thing as Perfection
Perfection does not exist It's an illusion But seeking it can create a lot of stress. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, February 06, 2023
The Connection Between Perfectionism and Procrastination
I would say there is a pretty clear link between perfectionism and procrastination. If we have an idea about how something has to be, it might seem overwhelming. As a result we might not get started. Or if we start we may never finish. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. FREE DOWNLOAD: 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm - https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, February 02, 2023
How to Beat Procrastination
There are lots of things you can try to beat procrastination. The most powerful thing is to raise your awareness of what is really going on when you avoid doing something. It's all about the feelings and what you think they are telling you about the task. Our future, time-travelling stories are something to develop an awareness of. I will explain more in this session. You me as I explore how to beat procrastination from a new perspective. Get a FREE GIFT: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, February 01, 2023
The Most Important Thing to do to Avoid Procrastination
Your tasks are not supposed to float your boat! I am broaching this after a comment on my post yesterday where someone said, ‘Procrastinating over those tasks that just don't float your boat is all too easily done.’ I looked up float your boat on Google and it said ‘to appeal to or excite someone’. And perhaps that is the issue. That we think our tasks are supposed to float our boats when they are not. The reason for this is simple. Your feelings of excitement do not come from the outside world. They do not come from your tasks. So if you are looking to avoid procrastination, the most important thing to do (or know actually) is that your tasks are not able to make you feel good. Without this misunderstanding in the way, getting things done gets a whole lot easier. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. FREEBIE: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, January 31, 2023
How to Stop Procrastinating Tips (or not)
I could share endless tips and tricks to help you stop procrastinating. I am not going to do that. There's a reason why. Because what I want is to help you reveal your own answers. The things which will work for you. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective FREE DOWNLOAD - 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm - https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, January 30, 2023
My Journey With Procrastination.
Procrastination was part of my life for many years. I used to call myself 'lazy' all the time! I searched high and low for the solution. For many, many years! I found it in the most unexpected place. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. FREE DOWLOAD - 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm - https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, January 26, 2023
10 Physical Signs You are Stressed Out
If you don't know you are stressed out, you might not know to do anything about it. Once you are aware that you might be on the path to burnout, you have an opportunity to start learning about stress. Once you understand stress and the way we are overusing a system which was meant to keep us safe from sabre toothed tigers you can start to feel better. You me as I explore this from a new perspective. FREE DOWNLOAD - 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: www.bit.ly/5simpletruths Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, January 25, 2023
It's About Time We Saw that Feeling Stressed Isn't Normal
It seems to me that being stressed has become normal. The numbers of people reporting feeling stressed is getting higher every year. But it looks like many have resigned themselves to stress just being part of life. After all, look at the crazy world we live in! But this is all based on a fundamental misunderstanding which pervades our world. The misunderstanding that our feelings of stress come from the outside world. FEELING STRESSED IS A SIGN THAT YOU ARE USING THE POWER OF THOUGHT TO INITIATE THE FIGHT, FLIGHT OR FREEZE RESPONSE IN YOUR BODY ON A FAR TOO REGULAR BASIS! This then impacts on your physical and emotional health because excessive hormones that are not supposed to be there are rushing around your body. Those hormones are created inside you, by a system working inside you, not by the outside world. This response was initially designed to get you away from a sabre toothed tiger, not to manage a day at the office or your homelife. It was never meant to be in use all day every day. The way we think and the fact that we are not aware that thought is the problem is perpetuating so much human suffering. But there is a different way! A simpler way! Once you understand how this all works, stress naturally melts away. Trust me! I have been where you are now and I am not any more. Join me as I explore all this from a new perspective. FREE DOWNLOAD: 5 Simple Truth to Take You Closer to Calm: www/ bit.ly/5simpletruths Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, January 24, 2023
Why Destressing Tips Don't Work
Destressing tips don't work because they go against the simple understanding of how we work psychologically. Once you understand this simple truth, destressing tips no longer make sense. You can navigate life with more ease. Calm becomes more often your natural state and you have a lot less to do. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Download 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm here: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, January 23, 2023
A Story of Stress Management
My own story of stress management is probably to many. Tried lots of tools and techniques. Trawled through the past a bit (a lot actually). Felt many moments of utter despair. Often thought I must be so broken that I couldn't be helped. But here is the hope ... I am out of that pattern now. I am free and you can be too! Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, January 19, 2023
10 Emotional Signs You are Stressed Out
If you don't know you are stressed out, you might not know to do anything about it. Once you are aware that you might be on the path to burnout, you have an opportunity to start learning about stress. Once you understand stress and the way we are overusing a system which was meant to keep us safe from sabre toothed tigers you can start to feel better. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. FREE DOWNLOAD, 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm: www.bit.ly/5simpletruths Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, January 18, 2023
How to Stop Stressing the Easy Way
It can seem like there is a lot to do to manage stress but there really is an easier way. A simple understanding I came across 3 years ago. It changed my life and it can change yours too and with absolutely ZERO tools, techniques or trawling through the past. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. FREE DOWNLOAD: 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm: www.bit.ly/5simpletruths Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, January 17, 2023
What is Happening When You Feel Good
We spend a lot of time asking 'why' when we don't feel good. Today I would like to talk about 'why' you feel good when you do. Spoiler alert - it has nothing to do with tools and techniques! Knowing what is really going on when we feel good is really helpful. It helps us find that place more often. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, January 16, 2023
Blue Monday and Other Made Up Concepts
It's Blue Monday, a day when we are all supposed to feel a bit meh! But yet again, it turns out it was all made up by a marketing department. Just like 10 000 steps a day, breakfast being the most important meal and 5-a-day. There are so many things we take for granted as being true (including many things which are only in our own thinking). Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, January 12, 2023
What Does it Mean When You are Feeling Stressed?
Seeking the answers when we are feeling stressed can take hours. There are so many rabbit holes to go down. Looking for the sources outside us is never going to reveal the answers. As meaning making humans, it's tricky not to get caught in this trap. But there is another way. A simpler way. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, January 11, 2023
How to Deal With Feeling Stressed
The message out there is that we all feel stressed sometimes. That it seems to be part of modern life. So we might well wonder, how to deal with feeling stressed. But the problem is that most of the things you are told when you ask that question are guiding you away from calm rather than towards it. What's more important than dealing with stress is understanding it better. When we understand stress more deeply, there is a lot less to deal with than you might think. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm here: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, January 10, 2023
How to Stop Stressing Without Stress Management
It can seem like stress management is the only way to feel less stressed. After all, it seems like we need a way to handle all this stress life throws at us. But it turns out that the only reason we need stress management is because we misunderstand how stress is created. Once you understand the truth about stress, you can see how to stop stressing without stress management. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Want to experience less stress then please grab a copy of my new booklet, 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm on this link: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, January 09, 2023
How to Have a Less Stressful Day
When your working day is stressful, that means a big part of your life is stressful. You probably have an idea about the biggest source of that stress, but what if there is more to be seen about this? In this episode I look at workload and people in our working day. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm can help you experience less stress in your working life and every day: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, January 05, 2023
Some Truths About Burnout
I missed the signs that burnout was heading my way. I had no idea that the continual coughs and colds were a big clue. So I kept on going until my body finally gave up. I don't want that to happen to you. Please listen to me and listen to your body too. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, January 04, 2023
How Change Really Happens
It's a time of year when change is in the air. I spoke yesterday about New Year's Resolutions being made up but the focus on change is there for many people anyway. So maybe right now you do want to make a change. To have better relationships, feel less stressed or kick overwhelm to the curb. To get unstuck, stop feeling like you are not good enough or maybe just to sleep better and bounce our of bed in the morning. In this episode I explore how change really happens (painlessly)! Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, January 03, 2023
New Year's Resolutions Are Made Up.
New Year's Resolutions are made up. Yet we can so easily use them as a tool to beat ourselves up. Maybe there is an easier way to make changes in our lives. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Find out more by joining 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm: https://claredownham.com/5-simple-truths-to-take-you-closer-to-calm/ Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, December 22, 2022
My Hopes For You
I have many hopes for you as the year draws to a close. They are hopes not just for the festive season but for always. They are hopes for how you see yourself and the world around you. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, December 21, 2022
What's Wrong With You is an Illusion
What if you saw that what you thought was psychologically wrong with you was all an illusion? What if you saw that the feelings of calm, clarity and contentment were already inside you? What if you could finally stop trying to fix yourself because you knew you were never broken in the first place? What if you could stop seeking peace of mind in the outside world? What if you could stop all the self-development because you realised that you were absolutely fine? What if none of the above was a what if any more? It doesn't have to be a pipe dream. Once you learn that all that is going on with any of us is a misunderstanding about the meaning of thought and feelings, this dream opens up easily. You can start now with 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm: www.bit.ly/5simpletruths Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, December 20, 2022
How to Feel Happier no Matter What
When we misunderstand that our wellbeing comes from the outside world, we tend to strive to make that world a particular way. This can lead to overwhelm, exhaustion and burnout. Once we know the world works inside out, not outside in, we can be happy no matter what. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, December 19, 2022
Ways to Stop Caring What Others Think
We can easily spend a lot of time thinking about what other people think about us. It can feel like it is our responsibility to make other happy. This is definitely true at this time of year. But once you understand why people feel the way they do, you can release yourself from trying to people please. Then you can make decisions from your own wisdom and be free from overwhelm. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, December 15, 2022
How to Stop Getting Wound Up
In the world right now, it seems that there are a lot of things to get wound up about. Then we might spend time trying to calm down again. It can be a lot of effort. But when you realise that the unpleasant feeling is letting you know that you are wound up with unpleasant thinking, you are less likely to need to go up and down like that. Calm, clarity and contentment are on the other side. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, December 14, 2022
It's Okay to be Not Okay
Self-judgement takes us away from calm over and over again. The sense we are supposed to think, feel and behave differently. But imagine a life without that layer of extra thinking. A life without the judgement. A space where it really is okay to be not okay! Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, December 12, 2022
It's Easier Than You Think to Live in the Present Moment
Being in the present moment is much sought after but it can seem like there is a lot to do to live life there. Mindfulness courses, meditation and affirmations. But your clever system is set up perfectly to let you know when you are not in the present moment. It feels awful! Anxious, overwhelmed and depressed. Once are aware of this signal from your body, you naturally fall back into the present moment. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm here: www.bit.ly/5simpletruths Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, December 08, 2022
How Our Beliefs Create Our Reality
Are you aware of how your beliefs create your reality? All day every day they are the means by which our brain prioritises what you see and what you don't. You cannot possibly absorb all of reality so your brain very cleverly saves you from overloading by taking out the bits which don't fit with your beliefs. Once you realise this system is at play, a different reality is naturally created. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective Access 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer to Calm here: www.bit.ly/5simpletruths Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, December 07, 2022
Control is the Master Addiction
Have you noticed how much in life you are trying to control? People, circumstances and situations. But ultimately underpinning this is our need to control our feelings. When we think those feelings come from the outside world, we will continually try to control that world to make ourselves feel okay. Once we realise that feelings are not coming from the outside world, we stop trying to control it. Freedom is on the other side and access to calm, clarity and contentment. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, December 06, 2022
How to Know You are a Resilient Person
Resilience can look like something to get from outside us. That we need to train hard to get it. But what if you knew that every day you are alive resilience is there. Like a rope around your middle moving you forward. It cannot be lost or taken away. It's part of who you really are. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, December 05, 2022
What is Really Creating Our Anxious Feelings?
When we are feeling anxious, it can often seem like things in the world need to change for us to feel better. Once we see that thought in the moment is creating our suffering, it makes sense to stop certain trains of thought. It takes time and practise but eventually we see this sooner and sooner. That way we can spend less time suffering and naturally reset. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, December 01, 2022
How to Manage a Low Mood
When we are in a low mood, it is really easy to think that means there is something wrong with us. We might get caught up in trying to fix the mood. That can be pretty exhausting to say the least. Something magical happens when we accept that, as human beings, we are supposed to go up and down with our moods. There is nothing to do once you see a low mood as information. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, November 30, 2022
Stay Calm Despite Your Circumstances
When it looks like our circumstances are in the way of us staying calm, we can feel like a victim. Ranting and raving can result as we try to think our way out of the feeling. The inside out realisation changes all this. The truth is your feelings don't come from the outside world. When you realise that ranting is you hurting yourself with your think it stops making sense to rant. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, November 29, 2022
Imposter Syndrome at Work
I was plagued by imposter syndrome at work. I took it with me into self-employment. That voice in my head telling me I was not good enough. I tried all sorts to get rid of it but it didn't work. Then I simply learnt to take that voice less seriously and it gradually fell away. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, November 28, 2022
How to Quit Putting Things Off
Are you in the habit of putting things off? I noticed this about myself a long time ago and then tried to fix it. I used to be waiting for a certain feeling to do things. But then I saw that feelings come from thoughts. I realised that my thinking does not know what I am capable of. Now there is no need to wait for a feeling to do things. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, November 24, 2022
Is Knowledge Really Power?
Knowledge can be truly powerful. Particularly if that knowledge is universal. Something which is true all the time like gravity. There is some knowledge about our human psychology which is truly transformational once we understand it deeply. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, November 23, 2022
Do you need to Carve out Time for Mental Wellbeing Activities?
Do you need to Carve out Time for Mental Wellbeing Activities? It can look like that is the right thing to do. But have you noticed how guilty you feel if you don't do it. Or maybe even if you miss a day. But what if you saw that your wellbeing was already inside you. What if you saw it was only a thought away. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, November 22, 2022
How to Stop Trying to Always be Calm
Are you trying to always be calm? Doing endless tools and techniques and suffering every time you don't feel calm. There are two things which might be helpful. Knowing you are made of calm and knowing that all your feelings are created inside out. Once you realise this deeply there is less and less to do. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, November 21, 2022
How to Follow Your Joy
Are you able to follow your joy? Take the next step when wisdom emerges. Or is there a voice in your head saying, "You can't do that". The voice of Niggly Nelly. Taking you away from your joy. Really all you need is the awareness of that voice and a reconnection to the joy. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, November 17, 2022
What to do When You Feel Angry
Do you wonder what to do when you feel angry? I used to spend a lot of time pondering that one. I tried to control anger in all sorts of ways. It was exhausting. Now I understand anger and my own humanness, the need to do that has fallen away. There's is freedom if you can see there is nothing to do about anger but some things to understand. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, November 16, 2022
Unhelpful Thoughts
Imagine if you had a way of knowing when your thoughts were unhelpful. It's good to know that you have. Not all your thinking is true (in fact most of it isn't). The most unhelpful thinking feels awful. It feels anxious, angry, upset etc. That's how you know it is unhelpful. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective. Join the Calm Café on 23rd November at 1pm (and weekly after that): https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/calm-cafe-tickets-466713401347 Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, November 15, 2022
What Fear Are Holding You Back?
What Fears are Holding You back? Stopping you from taking on a big new client, a promotion or asking that dreamy person out on a date. It doesn't really matter what it is. Just know that the feeling that you have about it isn't coming from the thing. It's coming from your old habitual thinking about the thing. Join me as I explore this from a new perspective Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, November 14, 2022
Clarity
Clarity can seem like something we need to get. That we must work on it endlessly. But what if you just trusted that it is always there? That even when you are caught up in misty thinking, you could access that clarity in a moment. Once you see this, clarity emerges naturally. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, November 10, 2022
Spontaneity
Being spontaneous can be something wonderful. But we all feel differently about it. Some people find it really uncomfortable. Some people love it. However you feel, it's helpful to know that it isn't the thing you are about to do but your thinking about it which is creating the feeling. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, November 09, 2022
How to Know You are Stressed
We are often pointed to the physical symptoms to identify whether we are stressed but there is something available much earlier than that. Having an awareness of our state of mind. The speed of our thinking. The mood of our thinking. The quantity of thinking. As we grow in awareness of these things, we begin to be able to guide ourselves away from that path more quickly. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, November 08, 2022
How to Feel Less Stressed
Searching for the next stress management technique can seem like the thing to do if you are feeling stressed. But when you realise that stress is caused by having a busy mind, that started to make less sense. Understanding stress is a much better idea. Like anything else, once you understand stress, you can navigate it more easily. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Are you a busy, midlife founder, leader or CEO who is ready to go from ... 𝑺tressed, 𝑶verwhelmed & 𝑺tuck 𝑻𝑶 𝑪alm, 𝑪larity & 𝑪ontentment? Then join the Calm Café: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZwkd-uoqD4qH9GZekTomsQbQF65IaN45quS Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, November 07, 2022
Be Grateful Whatever You Have
I used to keep a gratitude journal every day. That seems to be a thing to do if you want to feel good doesn't it. But have you noticed where your thinking is as you write in that journal. It's in the past, not the present. But when you are in the present, gratitude is your natural state. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, November 03, 2022
Where Do the Voices in Your Head Come From?
Have you ever wondered where the voices in your head come from? They can seem so familiar that they feel like you. But they are not you. They are something you learnt and when you see the poor quality of them you just start to take them less seriously. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, November 02, 2022
Psychological Stress
All stress is psychological. In other words, all stress is created via thought in the moment. It doesn't come from the outside world. That's a misunderstanding. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, November 01, 2022
Thinking Slow and Thinking Fast
When we have racing thoughts, it can look like we need to slow them down. Yet another thing to manage. But when you see that your racing thoughts are being managed by yet more racing thoughts, that makes less and less sense. When you come from a place of awareness without judgement, your psychological immune system comes into play and things naturally reset. There's nothing much to do. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. https://galas.fm/episode/6402ad39-a581-59f1-b6e8-903d272c9110 Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, October 31, 2022
Understanding Separate Realities Creates Calm
Have you noticed how you feel when you rant about someone? Pretty rubbish I guess. It really looks like that feeling is coming from the person we are ranting about but that is a misunderstanding. The feeling is coming from our ranting thinking not the other person. When you see this, calm is only a breath away. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, October 27, 2022
Staying Calm Under Pressure
Staying calm under pressure can seem like a lot of work. It can seem like an amount of restraint is necessary. But something amazing happens when we become aware of our lack of calm. Our clever system helps us naturally reset to calm. Awareness is the superpower here. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Are you a busy, midlife business owner or leader who is ready to go from ... 𝑺tressed, 𝑶verwhelmed & 𝑺tuck 𝑻𝑶 𝑪alm, 𝑪larity & 𝑪onfidence then then book a free calm & clear hour here: https://tidycal.com/clare-queen-of-calm/complementary-calm-and-clear-hour Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, October 26, 2022
Life Without Stress-Management
Life Without Stress-Management is possible. All that we actually need is to understand what stress actually is. It's like all other feelings; an indication of our state of mind in the moment. Nothing else and nowhere else to look. What a relief! Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, October 25, 2022
Fast Thinking Causes Stress
Are you aware of the speed of you thinking? Just stop now and take a moment to notice. Does it feel like you are pottering down a country lane or fully breaking the speed limit on the motorway? Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, October 24, 2022
You are Amazing
People often ask if I can help them. I understand why - lots hasn't helped them so far. They feel really broken. I help them see how amazing they are. It really is that simple. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, October 20, 2022
The Simple Imposter Syndrome Solution
Imposter syndrome is rife. I remember my days when it was ever present. That Niggly Nelly inside my head telling me I wasn't quite up to scratch. That someone was about to find out I was a fake. I am sure you can relate. But what if getting Niggly Nelly to shut up was easier than you think? Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, October 19, 2022
Doing Life Your Way Creates Calm
Doing Life Your Way Creates Calm. When you listen to your intuition. When you connect to your wisdom. When you trust your gut. You just have to learn not to listen to Niggly Nelly inside your head. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, October 18, 2022
The Connection Between Menopause and Happiness
The Connection Between Menopause and Happiness. It might seem that once we are free from menopause symptoms, we can be happy. But what if being happy could help us have a better experience of menopause. When we see that everything we experience is created via thought, even our experience of our own bodies, it can seem that this is more possible than we might think. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, October 17, 2022
Our thinking about things creates stress.
Our thinking about things creates stress. There are places you can see this every day. You just have to be in a place of curiosity. To see that things can stay the same but your relationship with them really can change. To see that things are not still happening yet your feel stressed. To see that other people do not seem to get stressed about the same things as you. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, October 13, 2022
Inside Out Relationships
In our closest relationships, it really can look like our feelings are coming from the other person (outside in). Like they are making us feel bad (and good for that matter). But relationships like everything else in the world, work inside out. When you realise this all your relationships improve and you stop looking for the other person to change for you to be okay. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, October 12, 2022
Confirmation Bias
Confirmation Bias Stops Us Seeing Our Potential. Because our belief system cuts out what doesn't fit. There are millions of bits of information available each second. We can only be aware of 50. So we see more of what we believe is wrong about us. We don't see how amazing we truly are. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, October 11, 2022
Underlying Fear Creates Stress
Are you aware of underlying fear in your life? What is it stopping you doing? Where is it holding you back? Once you see that it is all thought created, it gets easier to do the thing. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, October 10, 2022
Innate Mental Health
We all have innate mental health. Sometimes that is hard to see. Especially if you are feeling mentally unwell. But this new paradigm can be see when we look with curiosity. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, October 06, 2022
Thought Created Stress
Stress is created via thought. We mostly aren't aware that's what is going on. It looks like it's the outside world. But as we gain awareness of certain kinds of thinking making us feel rubbish, we can see this more clearly. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, October 05, 2022
Taking Action
Sometimes it can look like we need to feel a certain way to take action. Like all our ducks need to be in a row before we do something. But what if that wasn't true. What if all you needed was to take the first step. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, October 04, 2022
Accepting How You Feel
It can create a whole extra level of stress if you think you should not be feeling a certain way. This is especially true if you have done a lot of work on yourself. A sense that you should have got it by now. But once you accept your feelings, there is access to what is already inside; calm, clarity and contentment. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, October 03, 2022
Inner Creativity
Somewhere along the line we have learnt that we need to be stressed to find the solutions to our problems. It turns out that is a seriously misunderstanding. Human beings have a creative capacity which is harder to access when we are wound up and stressed. We can access that creativity much better when we are calm. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, September 29, 2022
Listening to Your Body
Can you listen to your body? It is always speaking to you. Letting you know what you need. Then your thinking comes in and says - no do this instead! But when you pause and listen your will hear the truth. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, September 28, 2022
Not Caring How You Feel
What if you didn't care how you felt? I suspect that would take a lot off your plate. Less to manage, diagnose and think about. As you begin to see how thoughts and feelings are not you but are something passing through you, there is more ease available. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, September 27, 2022
Abandoning the Quest for Happiness
The quest for happiness or any other feeling can seem like a never ending one. So when we experience a feeling we don't like there can be guilt, judgement and more seeking. But that's more thinking and the feelings we seek are underneath that. The revealing of that can happen once we accept how we feel. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, September 26, 2022
Accessing Presence
Accessing presence can see like a lot of work. Ironic don't you think. But maybe it is easier to fall into presence than we have been led to believe. Maybe it is only ever a breath away. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, September 22, 2022
Putting Yourself First
When was the last time you put yourself first? It is hard when there is voice in your head saying the opposite isn't it? The voice that cannot say no. The voice that wants to please. The voice that puts other's first. But something amazing happens when you start to take that voice less seriously! When you see it for what it really is; just some old habitual thinking which got stuck in your head. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, September 21, 2022
Experiencing Physical Health
When I burnt out I had no idea of the consequences. Years of getting tired easily. That has changed a lot recently as I have seen things differently. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, September 20, 2022
Other People's Thinking
Other people's thinking and therefore their behaviour can look like a cause of stress. It can look like our sanity is being impacted upon by other people. But when we start to see that other people are doing the best they can with the thinking which look true to them that changes. There is acceptance. There is less suffering. There is more peace. And the end result is less stress in our relationships and more love. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, September 15, 2022
Deep Listening
When listening happens with presence, something amazing happens. A deep connection. A release of stress. A sharing of love. But it's not as hard as it might seem. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, September 14, 2022
That Lying Voice Inside Your Head
There's a voice inside your head. It tells you lies. It guides you away from what is truly good for you. Once you are aware it is there, it starts to lose its power. And once it does, self-care makes so much more sense. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, September 13, 2022
Being Yourself
We are told again and again to be ourselves. But who is this self they speak of. Is that who we truly are? How do we know? Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, September 12, 2022
Change
It can sometimes feel like there is a lot of change. It seems like that can induce stress. But change is part of life. We don't feel the change, we feel our resistance to it. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, September 08, 2022
Accessing Better Feelings in the Outside World
Drinking wine and meditation to feel better come from the same misunderstanding. I hope that got you to sit up and listen. I know one is better for the physical body than the other but bear with me hear. Both mediation and drinking wine are done to feel better. But the misunderstanding on which both are done is that feelings come from the outside world. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, September 07, 2022
Letting Go
Sometimes letting go is hard. It can seem that our gut is guiding us one way but the urge to carry on keeps guiding us to hang on. A time of awareness and noticing. Which thought brings the nicer feeling - you are being guided. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, September 06, 2022
Taking the Should Out of Self-Care
It seems there are rules about self-care. That there are certain things you have to do to be well. But when we should ourselves, we can experience guilt. Not really conducive to wellbeing I think. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, September 05, 2022
Present Moment Self-Care
Boundaries, rules and self-expectations! This seems to be the way to engage with self-care. But what if it was simpler than that. What if self-care was all about connecting to ourselves in the present moment. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, September 02, 2022
Patience
There's a stressful feeling in the body when we feel impatient. It's an itchy, jittery feeling for me. It comes up whilst queuing or waiting for anything. But what is available underneath that feeling? What happens when the impatient feeling falls away? Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, September 01, 2022
Ignoring Fear
What would happen if you ignored fear? What if you trusted your creative guidance and gave fear a back seat? You thinking doesn't know what you are capable of. When you see this, the world opens up. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, August 30, 2022
Life Unfolding
Life is unfolding. It is happening for us not to us (Byron Katie). It doesn't always go how we might want it to. As it unfolds, we can be in a place of acceptance or resistance. I guess you can work out which feels worse. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, August 25, 2022
How Thought Works
It seems there is a lot to do to change your thinking. Tools, techniques and therapy. But what if understanding how thought works was more beneficial. Well it turns out it is! Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, August 24, 2022
It's All Made Up
There appear to be so many rules in life. It can get a little overwhelming. But have you explored how many of those rules are true. Have you considered that many are just well-meaning nonsense. With less rules we can more easily connect to our intuition and find a way which works for us. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, August 23, 2022
Lightly Held Goals
Goals can easily become instruments to beat ourselves up with! I used to have tightly held goals. I ended up procrastinating endlessly. It was like my present moment self was fighting against the goals I set in the past. Lightly held goals have a different feel and energy and that is where I am playing at the moment. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, August 22, 2022
Playfulness
Playfulness is a wonderful way to experience less stress but have to ever pondered what gets in the pay of you being more playful. Maybe it's the thoughts of looking stupid. The idea you will be judged. Trust me, you are not the only one. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, August 19, 2022
A Different Conversation About Mental Health
It's time for a different conversation about mental health. Let's face it, the one we are having isn't really working; more people are suffering than ever. But I see there is a simple reason. We are not being pointed towards our innate mental health or being encouraged to see where we are doing just fine. We are talking far too much about mental illness. It is time for something new! Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, August 18, 2022
The Stress of Living in Two Paradigms
A paradigm is a pattern or model of how something works. Where we have a single paradigm like gravity which we understand, life gets simpler and easier. There is a paradigm for how we work psycho-spiritually called the inside-out understanding. It works 100% of the time. Stress occurs when we think it only works some of the time. Just like if we thought gravity only worked in some places in our homes. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, August 17, 2022
Imposter Syndrome
The dreaded imposter syndrome. That voice in your head which says you are not supposed to be here. It says, 'You are going to get found out any minute'. It chips away but when you realise it is thought and that's not true, it can start to melt away. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, August 16, 2022
Your Amazing Life
You have an amazing life to lead! One amazing life. It won't be like that guru's you follow. It won't be a straight line. It will be what is meant to come through you. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, August 15, 2022
Hate
Hate is a word I used to use a lot. Then I saw the energy which came with it. It brought an uncomfortable feeling. Letting it go I felt better. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, August 12, 2022
Hope
Hope is often something which is held up as being useful. A feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen. Future thinking that things will be better. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, August 11, 2022
The Energy of Life
When you realise the energy of life is running through you stress becomes less prevalent. It's like knowing that you are held. That you are supported. A sense that you have access to all the answers underneath your busy thinking. Suddenly it makes more sense to get quiet and see what emerges. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, August 10, 2022
Creating Our Own Suffering
Are you aware where you are creating your own suffering? If you knew you were doing it, would you carry on. I suspect not! But the thing is you probably innocently don't know. Listen and you might start to see. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, August 09, 2022
Mind or Moment
Mind or moment is the choice which leads us away from stress and anxiety. In any moment there is a choice when you know there is one. Do you choose mind - the thoughts which are creating the discomfort. Do you choose moment - the truth, reality and peace. It only takes a second to choose once you know you can. For you are the awareness who is choosing not the thinking. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, August 08, 2022
Slowing Down to Speed Up
In this busy world, it looks like we are supposed to live life at a ridiculous pace. But what if that was wrong. What if slowing down could reap so much more. What if speed and hustle were not our natural state. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, August 05, 2022
Presence and Connection
Have you noticed when you feel truly connected to someone. What needs to be in place for that to happen? It seems to me to happen when we have less on our mind. When we are in the space of pure presence. Then we loose track of time and the conversation flows. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, August 04, 2022
Low Mood Thinking
Low moods are vital if you want to live a guided life because they let you know about your low mood thinking! And low mood thinking is almost always not helpful. You are being guided all the time, you just don't know it yet! Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, August 03, 2022
Psychological Misunderstandings
Psychological misunderstandings are causing most human suffering. The problem is that we don't know how we work. We don't understand the information in a feeling. We don't know not to take our thinking so seriously. And when these misunderstandings merge, it is a perfect environment for suffering to grown. Once you understand these misunderstandings are at play, life gets simpler and easier. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, August 02, 2022
Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is a hot topic. Seems it is vital for our wellbeing. It is defined as confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect. Join me as I explore this topic from a new perspective. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, August 01, 2022
Our Nature
Once we know our true nature, it changes everything. We start to see our potential. We feel more connected to each other and the world. There is a trust which emerges that all is well. We are part of nature! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, July 29, 2022
Am I bovvered?
It is possible to feel less bothered about life. It doesn't matter who you are or what seems to be bothersome. Once you realise that you feelings are about your state of mind and not the outside world, this starts to happen naturally. If I can go from stressed out, burnt out Headteacher to Queen of Calm who is not bothered about much, that is available for you too. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, July 28, 2022
Transformation
My story is one of huge transformation. From stressed out headteacher to Queen of Calm. But this transformation is not exclusive to me. It is possible for everyone. Find out about my journey by listening to this episode. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, July 27, 2022
A Different Experience of Life
What if all the things you feel stressed about stopped feeling stressful? What of nothing needed to change for you to see them differently? What if freedom from stress was only a change in perspective away? It is possible to have a different experience of life without anything needing to change. You don't have to wait to feel content every day. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, July 26, 2022
The End of Suffering
When we see that something is causing suffering, we tend to stop. Removing a stone from our shoe, loosening a belt after a heavy meal or getting up and moving when we have been sat too long. It's so simple but first we have to know where the feeling is coming from. Often we do not realise that our emotional suffering is coming from thought in the moment but when we do, we begin to make different choices about which trains of thought to follow. There really is nothing else to do but live life from this awareness. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, July 25, 2022
Laughter
Laughter is a great stress reliever but have you ever wondered why. I had an insight about this recently. Laughter is helpful because it helps us naturally fall into the present moment. Laughter only really happens there. And when we are present we just work better. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, July 22, 2022
The Noise in Our Heads
Bringing some awareness to the noise in your head can help relieve stress. Just awareness mind you - not judging it as wrong. With awareness we can start to choose. Do we really need to be thinking that right now? When we start to see that it's that awful thinking which is making us feel off and nothing else it makes less sense to go there. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, July 21, 2022
The Lie About Feelings
There is a big, fat lie about where your feelings comes from. It surrounds us all day every day. The lie that our feelings come from outside us. They fundamentally don't. Feeling are generated inside us and when we see this out relationship with them changes. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, July 20, 2022
Being Less Bothered
It seems there are a lot of things to be bothered about doesn't it? There always has been to be honest but perhaps it has reached a peak in the last few years. But how would your life be if less things bothered you? If the people, circumstances and situations no longer had so much impact on how you felt. It is possible for all of us to experience this and all it takes is seeing things differently! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, July 19, 2022
Wisdom in Action
Wisdom is always guiding you no matter how you feel. In fact the off feelings might be the most vital because they let you know that your state of mind is off. What a wonderful thing to have - something which lets you know when you have stinking thinking! That has to be the most helpful thing in the world! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, July 18, 2022
My Boring Life
Perhaps we can be utterly content with a boring life. Maybe simple is a better word but you know what I mean. When we realise that doing stuff doesn't not create our feelings, it makes less sense to keep doing loads of stuff and life gets simpler. We can still have fun but we know our wellbeing doesn't depend on it. Imagine the freedom in that. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, July 15, 2022
Self-Worth
How worthy do you feel? I used to think I was not good enough. I did not feel worthy. Have you considered where this idea of worth comes from. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, July 14, 2022
Ability
There is something which falls away when you realise that your ability and your thinking are not connected. That they have nothing to do with each other. It's like magic. Firstly you learn to ignore the voice in your head. Then 'negative nelly' turns up less. Finally you are free and can go full steam ahead! This is available when you understand the nature of thoughts and feelings! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, July 13, 2022
The Meaning of Words
Have you noticed that the meaning of words can create stress. A couple of the ones I don't like are 'hate' and 'should'. But I end up thinking people shouldn't say 'should' and hating people for using 'hate'. It's actually laughable when you think about it. We give words energy that the person saying them might not have done. We create the meaning. Worth watching out for if you want to feel less stressed. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, July 12, 2022
Thought Algorithm
The thoughts which are causing your stress work like an algorithm. The more you focus on them, the more they turn up. And that focus can even be your attempts to change your thoughts. Then you feel that thinking in your body. The more attention, the more horrible the feeling. Just like an algorithm, when you starting letting them pass, they just don't show up so much. Simple but true! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, July 11, 2022
Planning or Presence
Planning or presence - which is the least stressful? Of course we have to plan. I have dates in my diary and things booked in. But there is something wonderful which happens when we let go a bit. When we allow things to unfold from the present moment. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, July 08, 2022
Suffering
Suffering is not coming from where you might think. By suffering I am talking about stress, anxiety, unhealthy behaviour, anger to name but a few. It's the suffering which comes from a misunderstanding about where our feelings are coming from. That is the ultimate misunderstanding after all. Once we see the way things really work, which is inside out, not outside in, the suffering falls away. Do you want to suffer less? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, July 07, 2022
Love
We are made of love and once we know this everything changes. It's what is underneath our conditioned thinking. Seeing this can change all your relationships. As our thinking looks less real to us, we connect to love which is our essence! Who we really are. Imagine being in this place of love more of the time. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, July 06, 2022
The Source of Stress
We are being told a lie about the source of stress. At the moment it is the cost of living. Previously it has been lockdowns and before that ... well the list goes on doesn't it? We are being told a lie but not knowingly. People really think stress comes from the outside world but it does not. Stress comes from thoughts about things not the things themselves and once you understand this, you experience a lot less stress. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, July 05, 2022
Workaholism
Workaholism works like any other addiction! Like all other addictions, it comes from a misunderstanding about where your feelings are coming from. It's the reason why we feel compelled to do anything. It looks like a feeling can be added or removed by doing something in the outside world so we do that thing. Simple when you realise. And when you realise that your feelings don't come from the outside world, it's super simple for the behaviour to fall away. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, July 04, 2022
Comfort Zone
Your comfort zone does not exist! It is only a collection of thoughts. Something magical happens when you start to take it less seriously. It begins to simply falls away. The thoughts might still be there for a while but they get easier and easier to dismiss. It's simpler than you might think to experience this. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, July 01, 2022
The Calm Gazelle
Why is the Gazelle so calm? Because she doesn't think like us. She doesn't worry, 'what if' or time travel in her head. What if you could be more gazelle? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, June 30, 2022
Confusion
There's a confusion which pervades our world right now and it is causing a lot of suffering. Someone recently asked me to talk about why people feel bad but cannot understand why. They can’t quite put their finger on it and, as a result, can’t fix it. I suppose the word here that would be good to address is “ confusion” It's a great question with seems like it might have a complicated answer but really it is simpler than you might think. There is one reason we feel an emotion and that is because of where our thoughts and attention are in any moment. And the biggest misunderstanding which is causing most human suffering is the that we don't know the above and are confused about where our feelings are coming from. So there is nothing to fix and we are trying to fix it which of course creates stress. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, June 29, 2022
Anticipation
Anticipation is a source of stress. It is defined as, 'the action of anticipating something; expectation or prediction.' Here's what I see happening. We anticipate the future, predict something terrible and then expect that we won't be able to cope. It feels awful and that's the clue. The awful feeling is your system letting you know your thinking is off. Simple to avoid once you know that the source of the feeling is thought. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, June 28, 2022
Innate Wellbeing
Realising innate wellbeing relieves stress because something magic happens when you see how you work. That the feelings you are feeling are not you. They are something which is passing through you. Underneath that you are a diamond. The true you is unbreakable. Thought is powerful but it is not true and it is not you! If you want to see this more, drop me a message. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, June 27, 2022
Virtual Reality Generator
Perhaps you have noticed how your feelings of stress fluctuate despite the circumstances staying the same. You might have also had a moment when you have felt stressed about something which isn't happening right now. Maybe you have noticed that other people do not get stressed about the same things as you. That's because there's a missing piece of the jigsaw. The real reason we feel stressed is our stressful thinking which acts like a virtual reality generator. Making stressful feelings grown the more we think about the thing we are stressing about. It's a simple energy in = energy out equation really. The more power you give the virtual reality machine, the more you feel your thinking about the circumstance. But once you see this is how it works, something magical happens in the space. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, June 24, 2022
Wisdom
When we are connected to wisdom, we experience less stress. We are guided and can navigate through life more easily. Sometimes people call it intuition and say it comes from a quiet place but it is so much more than that. Every moment of every day we are being guided. This guidance comes from our feelings. Uncomfortable feeling = uncomfortable thinking = time to pause Calm feeling = calm thinking = go ahead It's so simple it sometimes blows my mind. If you would like to feel more guided to wisdom, drop me a message. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, June 23, 2022
Laughter
I am noticing there is more and more laughter. It seems to me that it can break a spell. When we are feeling stressed and realise we are creating that, it signals that we have noticed it. I see it more and more in my work with clients. Those laughing realisations and in myself - noticing the craziness of life and laughing at it! Perhaps as I share today, you might notice you would like to laugh at yourself more! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, June 22, 2022
Judging. Monitoring and Supervising
On Monday I spotted a source of stress in my life. It was something I had not realised before. Some thinking I am involved in. It's probably been around a long time and it was definitely pivotal in the burnout. I realised yesterday that I do a lot of judging, monitoring and supervising. My children, my fiancé and anyone who is doing it wrong really. 🤣 It creates a current of underlying stress. Things to think about that are really nothing to do with me. And when you realise that all stress is created via our thinking, it suddenly doesn't make so much sense to go there. Maybe as I talk about this, you might see it in yourself and it might help it to fall away. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, June 20, 2022
Worry
Worry ... It feels awful; anxious, scary and fearful. There's a clue in that feeling. It's let us know the truth. Not about what we are worrying about but about our state of mind. The feeling is letting us know that we are believing something which isn't true. It's so much simpler than you think. When you realise the feeling is coming from worrying thinking, it suddenly makes whole lot less sense to worry. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, June 17, 2022
Bodily Wisdom
Stress can result when we don't listen to our bodily wisdom. We have learnt to ignore it. We are much more likely to listen to that voice in our heads. But the voice in our heads is just the echo of the past. It's old habitual thinking. Our bodies are wise and guiding us all the time. Maybe just listen for today. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, June 16, 2022
Potential
Not seeing our potential creates stress. It has us believing that we cannot do things, solve things and that we don't have the answers. But our potential is so much more than we can see. That's mainly because our thinking gets in the way; the beliefs we have about ourselves. But I see your potential and my favourite thing is to help you see it. Not just see it but access it in every moment. Then stress just melts away because you realise you've got this! Imagine that! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, June 15, 2022
Shouldification
Shouldification often plays a part in the creation of stressful feelings. I know it is a made up word but I am sure you know exactly what it means. It is when we say something or someone should be different. In that moment it looks like we will feel better if the change happens. But we are misunderstanding where the feeling is coming from. The feeling is coming from the shouldification not the person or circumstance. When we realise that our feelings don't come from the outside world, the shouldification makes less and less sense; it feels awful after all. If you would like to stop shouldifiying, you know where I am. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, June 14, 2022
Relief
We are all looking to find relief from our feelings. It seems to be a human mission. It makes sense when we see feelings as a problem but when we see feelings as information, that all changes. It's the ultimate relief. Not having to manage feelings any more. Imagine that! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, June 13, 2022
Flow
Flow is the antidote to stress and anxiety. A space where we are connected to the present moment. Where we only consider the next step. One step at a time. There is no consideration of the future. Non of the past. Just the present moment and the day unfolding. I recently found myself in that place and share my experience of it during this session. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, June 10, 2022
Transformation
My transformation was from stressed out Headteacher to Queen of Calm but there were really two stages to it. The first was the fix myself stage; tools, techniques and self-development; I tried them all. The second stage was a falling away of all that. A change in the way I saw the world and my own psychology in it. It felt like I finally had the manual for how my experience was created. Transformation followed. Not of the outside world but how I related to it. The impact was in every part of my life. Calm, clarity and creativity became my frequent state; even when I wasn't feeling good! That is available to you and it's simpler than you think. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, June 09, 2022
Rejection
Rejection can often seem like a source of stress. Especially in business but in other walks of life too. I was asked to create this episode on 'the stress that one feels after working hard on a proposal for a potential client who then turns you down after you have presented to them'. I suspect we have all experienced this at some point but have you ever wondered what makes rejection stressful? Rejection is actually some else's thinking about us or our proposal. But the question really is, what does it mean or maybe what do we make the rejection mean? I suspect rejection comes up for us all in various aspects of life so it's probably worth a listen. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, June 08, 2022
Hindsight
Hindsight is a wonderful thing ... apparently! Google defines hindsight as the ability to understand and realise something about an event after it has happened, although you did not understand or realise it at the time. But have you noticed how easy it is to use hindsight to beat ourselves up! We do something, later we see things differently then we feel guilty about what we did. But all I want you to know today is that you are always doing the best you can with the thinking which looks true at the time. Later on with hindsight and insight, of course you can see things differently. But at the time you were perfect! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, June 07, 2022
Intrusive Thoughts
'How do we work through unhelpful intrusive thoughts!' was a question I was asked recently. Perhaps it's best to consider what an intrusive thought is first of all. I checked it out on Google which said, 'Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts that can pop into our heads without warning, at any time.' I think perhaps the most important word in that sentence is 'unwanted'. Imagine if we didn't care about the thoughts. This can happen when we realise some truths about thought; it is transient, random, not controllable and it doesn't mean anything about you. Thoughts are supposed to 'pop into our heads without warning at any time' and it is our seeing that as problematic and attempting to stop it which creates stress. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, June 06, 2022
Balance
Balance can be seen as a pillar of having a calm life and avoiding stress. Surely once we have created balance between our work and personal life, we will have cracked it and life will be perfect. But perhaps in the seeking of balance which actually miss the point; that balance is available to us in every moment with presence. When we are trying to create balance perhaps that is the last thing we will find. And how do we know whether we are balanced or not? Because we think we are or not! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, June 01, 2022
Self-Identity
Self-identity is linked to stress and burn out because our self-identity creates every outcome. Who we think we are is at play all the time. It forms the world we live in. This means there are nearly 8 billion realities each being formed by the separation created by the self-identity. The self-identity is thought and is what we learnt from others as we grew up. IT IS NOT TRUTH! As we begin to see this, we experience less stress and anxiety and we connect to who we really are; peace, love and wisdom. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, May 31, 2022
Storification
Storification is a made up word. But this time it isn't me who has made it up. This word was made up by the lovely Wynn Morgan.I heard him say it in his podcast with Kate Roberts recently so I dropped him a message and asked if I could talk about it with you. So here I am ... We humans are storifying all day every day; that is wrapping a story around something which has happened. Making meaning which often feels awful. The feeling is letting us know we are storifying! That's the clue. When you begin to see this, there is a lot of relief. The stories make less sense to pursue and there is more calm, clarity and confidence available. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, May 30, 2022
Urgency
Recently I have become more aware of urgency! You know that feeling that something needs to be done yesterday! Urgency feels very real in the moment and it feels like the only way to get rid of that feeling is to do the thing! But the feeling isn't coming from the thing. The feeling of urgency is coming from our thinking about the thing. Urgent feeling = urgent thinking. And when you think about it, that might not be your best state of mind to decide what to do. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, May 27, 2022
Comparison
'Comparison is the thief of joy' - Theodore Roosevelt. From what I have seen this is certainly true. It comes up often in my coaching sessions but today it has come up as a request from a friend who asked me to talk about 'avoiding the curse of comparison and it’s debilitating affect on mindset and mood.' It looks like Roosevelt, this friend and I are all on the same page. Comparison really does affect how we feel about all sorts of things for example our work, relationships and success. It may drive us to do or not do things and tends to have us ignoring the wee small voice of our intuition and what really is right for us. The thing to know about comparison is that it is thoughts. More than that, it is old, conditioned, habitual thoughts. Nothing to do with you, what you are capable of or what is right for you. All we really need is awareness of these comparison thoughts and they can begin to fade away. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, May 26, 2022
Futurism
Futurism is defined as the concern with events and trends of the future, or which anticipate the future. I suspect this can be fun when we are curious and holding it lightly but that's not often what we do is it? We tend to believe our concerns and that tends to create anxious feelings. So how can we consider the future without creating anxiety? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, May 25, 2022
Personality
What is a personality? Of course I looked it up on Google. Personality refers to individual differences in characteristic patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving. Nothing to do with who we really are then because we are not thinking, feelings or behaviour. We are so much more than that. And the more we see that, the more the so called, 'personality' melts away and then there is a space for us to turn up, be present and unfold in the moment. Imagine that! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, May 24, 2022
Escalation
How do things escalate? A small disagreement which becomes a massive argument. It's always fuelled by a misunderstanding. It's the same misunderstanding I always talk about. The misunderstanding about there our feelings comes from. It starts with a reaction ... and then another ... and then another! It goes back and forth. More and more fuel poured on the fire. An explosion is inevitable! But at any point this can stop. Just one person has to see that their feelings are not coming from the other. It breaks the cycle. Things settle down. In the calm there is space to say what we need free from anger! That is always available to us! If you need help seeing this, you know where I am. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, May 23, 2022
Difficult Conversations
Difficult conversations is the topic today. It's a request from Dr. Johannes Metzler (Please drop me a message if you have a request) This is what he said, "I just noticed how some clients are afraid of difficult conversations because they have created the conversation as difficult in their mind because they imagine the future and then take it for real. And how we are most available to the moment in a "difficult conversation" when we are calm" Let's see how this unfolds! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, May 20, 2022
Seeking
I was seeking for a long time. Looking to feel differently. Wanting more motivation. I tried E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Every tool and technique and all the books on productivity. But then I saw that the problem was the seeking. When I stopped looking outside of me for the answers, it all fell in to place. It was like magic! Mental wellbeing does not have to be such hard work and in this session I will explain why the seeking is the problem. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, May 19, 2022
Moods
Are you good at mood awareness? Not mood judgement or criticism but awareness. Do you know what is going on when you are in a low mood? It's low mood thinking which is likely to produce low mood words and deeds. So it might be worth waiting until the low mood passes. They do that on their own by the way! It's simpler than you think. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, May 18, 2022
Criticism
Criticism comes in 3 flavours that I have seen. Criticism of others, being criticised and self criticism. They are all created in the same way from certain false ideas. The thought that there is a right and wrong way to do things, the misunderstanding about where our feelings are coming from and the idea that thinking about someone else or ourselves is ever true. No matter what type of criticism we are party to, these things are true. And when we see that, we are more able to take criticism with a pinch of salt. As we become the awareness of the critical thoughts we can take a step back and observe it playing out. Maybe the clearest thing to see is that all criticism is a lie! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, May 17, 2022
Meaning
Human's are meaning making beings. This is a normal and natural part of how we work. When something happens we create meaning about it but often we don't realise that we are doing that. We miss that we are creating not receiving reality. Each one of us is creating our own reality moment by moment. Making meaning all the time. It's amazing how helpful this can be. It allows us to take what we have created with a pinch of salt, be more questioning about what is right and wrong and let go of some of the meaning we make about ourselves. Meaning is a creation both by us as individuals and the collective mind. It's not real. If you would like to make less meaning about your circumstances and therefore access calm, clarity and confidence without endless tools and techniques, you know where to find me. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, May 16, 2022
Shrinking
Is your world shrinking? Are you avoiding things because you think they make you feel bad. Like certain people, situations and circumstances. Or are you forcing yourself to do certain things because you think you cannot be okay without them. Like meditation, journaling and yoga. Either way, are you attributing your feelings to various things outside you and deciding your life based on that? I am sorry to say you have been sold a lie. Your world is shrinking unnecessarily! Your feelings do not come from the outside world but they come from your thinking about the outside world. You don't have to shrink your world to feel better. I promise you don't. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, May 13, 2022
Choice
Do we really have a choice? It can look like there is choosing happening can't it? But who is doing the choosing. The same mind which has created the options. The same conditioning deciding one thing is right and one is wrong. The same thinking which is creating all our experience. It's easy to beat ourselves up afterwards when we see things differently. But self compassion can come in when we realise there was just what looked true in the moment and now something else looks true. Rather than focusing our attention on making 'better' choices, why not focus our attention on the system which creates the choices instead. In understanding the system we can actually develop more ease around choices. We can become more conscious. If you would like to make 'better' choices from a place of conscious presence, drop me a message. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, May 12, 2022
Loneliness
Loneliness is the state of being lonely. Lonely is defined as, 'being unhappy because you are not with other people'. But being alone is not a prerequisite to feeling lonely. If we feel unhappy about not being with other people then that is because we have unhappy thinking about not being with other people. Everyone will feel differently. We might have a different length of time we are happy being alone, think there has to be a certain number of social events to not feel lonely or we might actually prefer to spend more time alone than with other people. There is nothing wrong with any of these perspectives. We all think differently and feel differently as a result. The trouble is that we are being told that being alone is making us feel bad. It does not have the capacity to do that. This does not mean that I want you to ignore the old man on your street who is living on his own. But it does mean that I would love for us to stop perpetuating the myth that the world works outside in at all ever because it just doesn't work that way. Without the threat of damage to our mental health, we still might seek time with other humans and look out for the humans in our lives who are alone but do we really need the threat of mental illness on our minds? I suspect not! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, May 11, 2022
Association
Are you aware of the associations that you make? How you connect one incident to a similar one in the past. We are all doing it all the time. I did it this morning. Wrapped a story around a message. It felt awful - jittery! That was the clue. The clue that I was associating and wasn't in the present moment. From that place of awareness, it fell away (eventually). All it takes is awareness. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, May 10, 2022
Optimism
Optimism is something we are encouraged to be more of because being pessimistic is not the done thing. I completed a gratitude journal for 5 years, every single day with the aim of becoming more optimistic! But now I see this differently. Optimism is defined as, 'hopefulness and confidence about the future or the success of something' and pessimism as, 'a tendency to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen'. But they are both lies about the future! What we have a tendency to do is create a pessimistic future and then talk ourselves round with a more optimistic version of it. This is replacing one lie with another. There is no reality in either version of the future. And whilst we are thinking about the future, we are not actually anywhere near the truth. The truth is in the now, in the body and in the breath. A better place to be rather than your pessimistic or optimistic lie about the future, is the present moment! Here is where you can act, take the next step and course correct. Creating any kind of future just confuses your system, creates stress and has you missing what there might be to do now. Today I declare that I am not an optimist or a pessimist! I am a presentist! (which I realise is a made up word but I don't care). Do you want to join me here? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, May 09, 2022
Awareness
It's mental health awareness week! The most powerful word in that phrase is awareness because with awareness you can see that you are not any of the thoughts in your head, you are not what you believe you are and that you are the observer of those things. It is in the separation which awareness creates that we can see the light. The light of who we really are; peace, wisdom and love Not the thinking and feeling that looks like us. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, May 06, 2022
Mindreading
How much time do you spend inside other people's heads? Have you noticed how that can make you feel? Angry, frustrated or overwhelmed. That feeling is telling you that what you are thinking isn't true. Your feelings are always telling you about the state of your mind in fact. When you think you know what someone else is thinking, that's your thinking creating that, not theirs. It's your thoughts not theirs. The fact is there are 8 billion ways of thinking. You cannot know what someone else is thinking E-V-E-R! They are unique and so are you. When you see this, it changes all your relationships especially the one you have with yourself. Imagine never thinking about what other people are thinking about you again Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, May 05, 2022
Clarity
When we are caught up in our stressful thinking and tired, we don't have clarity. Literally there is too much noise in the system. Just knowing this is helpful! Because when we realise, we might take a breath and give ourselves a minute. We didn't spot it last night when my fiancé lost his phone but we are human. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, May 04, 2022
Force
There is a force in the universe! It gets a lot done. It makes the earth spin around the sun, my heart beat and my lungs breath and it makes the flowers bloom. I guess it's a relief that you and I don't have to do that isn't it? But did you know that the same force is inside you. Not just running your internal organs but there guiding you every step of the way. This force is like gravity, we all get the same amount no matter who we are. I know you have experienced it. Maybe you were aware of a deep inner knowing about something, perhaps a sense of peace suddenly washed over you or it might be that you found yourself knowing what to do in a new situation. It's there all the time, always available. Trusting that is life changing. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, May 03, 2022
Should
Should is a much over used word. I spot it in my clients quite often and in myself. It comes from a sense that something is supposed to be different to how it is. Another person's behaviour, a situation or the way we are. When we use the word 'should' it feels unpleasant and it is easy to think that feeling is coming from the person, situation or what's wrong with us. That feeling truthfully has other information in it. It's letting us know about our thinking about those things. It's letting us know that we are resisting what is. All we need to do is see that and it gradually falls away. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, April 29, 2022
Misinterpretation
Are you aware that you are misinterpreting things all day every day? It's not just you - me too! The look on someone's face, why they are doing what they are doing or what someone is thinking about us. We think we are cameras; seeing the world as it is but we are really projectors; creating our own personal reality. It's like we are looking at the world through personal goggles but we didn't even create the goggles. They were created by the things we learnt as we went through life. They are made of our conditioned thinking. It might seem like a challenge to see through this but it is easier than you think. All it takes is awareness! Knowing that misinterpretation is happening all the time, waiting to be seen. Your feelings will let you know because that misinterpretation feels pretty unpleasant. That's wisdom letting you know that you are off track. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, April 28, 2022
Universe
You are the universe. You have everything you need inside you. Sometimes I know it doesn't feel that way but I promise you it's true. Can you notice it in those times of calm? Those times when you are flowing through life or maybe even in a moment of emergency. They are the times when your thinking is not getting in the way. When your mind is quite, you are naturally present and there is just this moment. That feeling is only ever a thought away! Amazing when you see it. It is possible to connect to your magnificence without endless tools and techniques, trust me. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, April 27, 2022
Fixing
Fixing feelings was my mission for so many years! It was exhausting! First manipulating the outside world then manipulating me! I tried every tool and technique but the feelings couldn't be fixed. But now I know that you cannot pin down a state of mind and I see that I would not want to do that anyway. You see, our feelings are a gauge; a warning system to let us know about our state of mind. They inform us what is going on in out thinking. When we know that and we know that our self-righting system will reset everything if we wait, it makes less sense to try to fix our feelings. I mean, why would you want to turn off any alert system. It just doesn't make sense. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, April 26, 2022
Discomfort
Discomfort has a purpose! With physical discomfort, the purpose is clear! It's to let you know that there is something to do like rest, move or seek help. This depends on what is happening to the physical body. With psychological discomfort, the purpose is also clear but often misunderstood. Psychological discomfort is treated differently. We are encouraged to dumb it down and supress it. Imagine if we did that with physical discomfort. We would end up in all sorts of trouble. Psychological discomfort is a warning - letting you know about your state of mind. It's there to let you know that you are off course with your thinking. Listen to that warning and get curious. Don't wish away your warning system. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, April 25, 2022
Feelings
Feelings! If we could just understand this one thing about ourselves, it would be truly transformational. Then we could stop trying to control them. Imagine taking that off your plate. Think about all the things we do to control our feelings. Drinking, smoking and eating chocolate but also tapping, journaling and meditation. But this is all unnecessary! Feelings are just information! They are your inner warning system letting you know about your state of mind. They have nothing to do with the outside world. You cannot get them there and they do not come from there! It's human to want to feel better but your self-righting system will sort that out if you leave it alone. No need to do anything. Understanding our feelings as information changes everything! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, April 22, 2022
Toxicity
Toxicity from our environment is much spoken about these days and I don't mean the kind that we can inhale or get from our food. I mean the kind that we are being told is in our circumstances. Toxic workplaces, toxic relationships and even toxic rooms. But have you ever wondered what this is actually pointing us towards? It's telling us that the feelings we feel can come from outside of us. This just isn't true. If we have a sense of something in our lives being toxic, that is our amazing system letting us know that we have toxic thinking. This is not condoning unpleasant behaviour it's just saying that our feelings do not come from that behaviour. Once we know this, we can be guided to make changes (if they are in fact needed) from a place of clarity, calm and confidence. Toxic feeling = toxic thinking, nothing else! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, April 21, 2022
Stress Management
We are talking too much about stress management. It is causing people to look in the wrong direction towards the following lies. 1. That stress comes from the outside world. 2. That we can remove stress by doing things. 3. That any feeling e.g. calm needs to be sought outside us. This is missing the truth. Stress is created by a lot of stressful thinking, stress management adds more thinking into a busy system and we can connect to everything we need inside us when our mind settles. But the biggest mistake is misunderstanding what a feeling is for. Your feelings are your guidance system, letting you know about your state of mind. Keep squashing them and suppressing them by any means and you are missing the opportunity to be guided by them. It's like trying to fix a system which was never broken! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, April 20, 2022
Creativity
'I am not creative!' is something I really used to believe. I carried from childhood into adulthood. I thought creativity wasn't my thing. Perhaps you can relate. It sounds like something which could hold us back. An unhelpful bit of insecure thinking. But there is something much deeper to see here. It's the creating we don't know we are doing all day every day. The creation of our thinking which we then believe. The thinking about the future, the stories about other people's thinking and the nonsense we believe about ourselves. All creations and none of it true. But your wonderful system has provided you with a failsafe warning system; YOUR FEELINGS! Like a lighthouse warning you that you are too close to the rocks you feelings are always letting you know about your state of mind. They are letting you know you are creating a day-mare! And the more tuned in you become to that warning system, the more easily you can spot you amazing creative power of thought at work. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, April 19, 2022
Truth
How do you know which of your thoughts is true? Perhaps you have never considered that question. I know I hadn't and I used to believe it all. Every single thought which passed through my head. My thoughts about other people, the future and myself. Every single one of them appeared true to me. But really there are very few things which are actually true and none of the things in the list above are! So how do we navigate the noise in our heads. We trust our feelings, that's all. Your feelings are always telling you about your state of mind. Your feelings are a shadow of your thinking being felt in your body. So, off feeling = off thinking. But when you are connected to the wisdom of the universe it feels utterly different; calm, clarity and confidence. That deep inner knowing or gut instinct. Those moments when you just know. Those moments are available to you from this place of calm. You don't have to do anything - just know it's there and wait. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, April 13, 2022
Stress
There seems to be a lot of people feeling stressed at the moment. I have a deep level of compassion for them all. I have been there. The long term stress I experienced led to burnout. I didn't work for a year. But now I know the truth about stress. Listen whilst I share this secret with you. Stress does not come from the outside world. It doesn't come from your job, your relationships, from the news or even social media. That stressful feeling isn't warning you about out there. t's warning you about your state of mind. And underneath all that, your wellbeing is still available. That's why you bob back up like an invincible beach ball being held under water. When you see this, transformation happens in every aspect of live and you feel calm more of the time. I can help you see it. Please drop me a message if you would like to feel less stressed. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, April 12, 2022
Communication
Communication is something we are doing all day every day. Have you noticed when don't communicate well. When you have a lot on your mind, you're upset or angry or when it feels like you need the other person to see it your way. And have you noticed the not nice feeling which comes with that. That feeling isn't telling you about the other person but it is telling you about your state of mind. But when we notice that off feeling and understand it properly, we might give ourselves a minute and allow our mind time to settle. It always will and it doesn't take long when we don't get in the way. And then we are in the best place to communicate; calm, present, less on our minds. We listen better, connect better and there is less separation. It's all in the noticing and awareness. That's all we need really. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, April 11, 2022
Willpower
Are you trying to use willpower to change your behaviour? Reacting better eating less or exercising more. Here are some reasons why that might not be working. 1. Willpower is a finite resource. Have you noticed how sometimes you can willpower through and then it all gets too much and the old behaviour sneaks back in. 2. Willpower is us trying to control our thinking (and therefore behaviour) with the same thinking which created the behaviour in the first place. 3. Behaviour is the output of the system. Feelings, thoughts and then behaviour is the order of what happens. So what is the alternative. It's understanding! Understanding that your feelings are telling you about your state of mind not that the outside world is either creating or can solve your feelings. Understanding that the voice in your head does not know the truth. In fact it could not be further from the truth. It's the conditioning you picked up as you went through life. Understanding that you have the capacity to fall back into a state of wellbeing in any moment without doing anything at all. When we change our understanding of thoughts and feelings, the capacity for change in behaviour is amazing and requires no willpower. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, April 08, 2022
Purpose
Do you know your purpose or has searching for it become your purpose i.e. the thing you do every day. When we are looking for our purpose, we are looking to the future. Therein lies the problem. You see, the future doesn't exist. You purpose as a human being is to exist in the present. Anything else is thought and not real. Your purpose in this moment will reveal the next purpose and the next and only when you look back will you be able to see how it unfurled. Our purpose is to live in the present moment and from there anything is possible. If you would like to feel more purposeful in the present moment, drop me a message or join The Antidote to Self-Development 5 Day Experience ( https://bit.ly/sdantidote ) Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, April 07, 2022
Emotions
Do you misunderstand your emotions? I think we all do that sometimes. We think they are coming from the outside world or other people. Maybe we think there is something wrong with us. But emotions are information. They are letting us know about our state of mind. They correlate with our thoughts in the moment. We can use them to guide us but maybe not in the way you think. Your emotions are not telling you about the outside world. Thinking that is misinformation. You cannot change your emotions by doing things in the outside world. It just doesn't work that way. But you can see that there is some thinking you are believing which is not true. Then the layers can start to melt away. If you would like help with melting the layers away, you know where I am. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, April 06, 2022
The Self
What is this self we speak of? We mention it in so many ways. Self-care, self-love, self-development, self-esteem, self-confidence and self-concept. The idea of the self is given a lot of weight isn't it? But it is actually a collection of thoughts. Ways of thinking we developed from the moment of our conception. When you think about that for a moment, it can feel quite mind-blowing! None of what we think is what we choose. Which puts into perspective all those tools and techniques we might employ to try and control our thoughts and feelings. That's the self (a collection of thoughts) trying to control the self (the same collection of thoughts). You might as well try to do your own brain surgery. But as we see this and start to get curious, we can start to see through some of that learned thinking. The self can become less prominent in our awareness. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, April 05, 2022
Capability
Your capability has nothing to do with your thinking nor does it have anything to do with what you have done before. Your capability does not have anything to do with other people nor does it have anything to do with your self-love or self-esteem. Your capability has nothing to do with what you think about anything! You are so much more than thinking! Your thinking is not you! That is why it has no idea what you are capable of! If you would like to experience your full capability despite that nonsense passing through your head, drop me a message! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, April 04, 2022
My Story Part 3
Part 3 of my story is the happy ending or maybe the happy beginning. Listen to hear how my experience of life has changed to include the following: - Every single one of my relationships has improved - I am the most creative and productive I have ever been - I do not do anything at all to 'get' wellbeing from the outside - I am the calmest I have ever been without daily mediation - I laugh more often and am generally happy - I am more confident and have higher self-esteem than ever - I react less and respond calmly more - I live my life mostly in the present moment naturally But the most important thing is that I know I am not broken and that everything I need is already inside me. This is available to you too! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, April 01, 2022
My Story Part 2
Continuing my story from yesterday and released on my 6 year anniversary of my resignation from my 20 year career in Education, 1st April 2022, here is the second part of my outside-in to inside-out story. Part 3 on Monday! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, March 31, 2022
My Story Part 1
By way of an introduction and released on my 7 year burnout anniversary, 31st March 2022, here is the first part of my outside-in to inside-out story. Part 2 tomorrow! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, March 30, 2022
Quiet
When you say you want to feel better, do you know what you are looking for? Generally we focus first on the feelings we don't want. We don't want to feel anxious, stressed, angry etc. So we go into the world focusing on anxiety, stress and anger in an attempt to manage it. But here is what happens when we do that. Firstly, in focusing on what we don't want, we see it more in ourselves and become more and more self-conscious. Secondly we create more thinking from all the tools and techniques we are using and thirdly, we move further and further away from our innate wellbeing. But really what we are all seeking is quiet. Secretly we know that once our minds are quiet, we are able to reconnect to our innate wellbeing. Calm, clarity and confidence. Happiness, resilience and creativity. All these things are naturally there once we are quiet. But doing all those tools and techniques do not quieten the mind one bit. They do the opposite. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, March 29, 2022
Perfection
You are psychologically perfect! In fact we all are but we just don't see it a lot of the time. That's because we spend most of the time our thinking hides the truth of our innate wellbeing. The problem is not our psychological functioning but it is that we do not know how we function psychologically. We are walking around all day every day in a system we don't understand like trying to operate a car before you have ever learnt to drive. So we get it wrong sometimes. The main thing we do is misunderstand that our feelings do not come from outside then we act from that misunderstanding, which often doesn't turn out so well. But once you understand this perfect psychological system of yours, you just tend to operate better. Once you understand you have a nicer experience of life. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, March 28, 2022
Reacting
How many times in the day do you find yourself reacting? Perhaps some of those times end in regret and the sense that you wished you had done that differently. We all feel like that sometimes don't we? But the reasons why we react, are actually much simpler than you might think. Our reactions come from 3 factors: 1. Our conditioned belief system (the things we have been learning all our lives) 2. Our understanding about where our feelings are coming from. (outside in the world or from thought in the moment) 3. Our awareness of 1. and 2. The best way to be in a place of reacting less is to understand how your psychological system works i.e. the relationship between 1, 2 and 3 above. As you start to see that your feelings do not come from the outside world and that the thoughts in your head are not true, the freedom to react less emerges. If you would like to react less, then please drop me a message or book an hour via my website. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, March 25, 2022
Behaviour
Stop trying to change your behaviour might seem like a strange thing for a coach to say but I really mean it. The thing is that when we are trying to change our behaviour, we are looking in the wrong place because behaviour is the output of our psychological system. It's like standing in the river, pulling out the rubbish rather than going up stream to investigate where the rubbish is coming from. Whatever we are doing comes from what we understand about our experience. The decision to do something comes from where we believe our feelings are coming from. If we think cake will make us feel better we will eat cake (outside in) but if we realise that feelings cannot be managed by cake we won't eat cake (inside out). It really is that simple! What I have noticed in myself and my clients if is that when we understand our feelings and what they are telling us, old behaviour simply falls away. It really is magical but true. If you would like to change behaviour and experience more calm, clarity and confidence without endless tools and techniques then please drop me a message and let's talk. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, March 24, 2022
Brainwashing
We have all been brainwashed! All our lives this has been happening but perhaps not in the way you think. No-one has been deliberately brainwashing us but unconsciously moment by moment from the time of our conception we have been learning from the people around us. In this way we learnt what was right and wrong, what to believe and what to think about ourselves. Every single thought which passes through our heads comes from this conditioning. I know that might feel uncomfortable but it's okay. That's just your conditioned thinking trying it's best to hang on to your belief system. When you start to see this, a different kind of brainwashing can happen. You can start to hold those beliefs up to the light and ask, is this true? Bit by bit, those beliefs get washed away just by seeing the truth about what they actually are. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, March 23, 2022
Wellbeing
Wellbeing does not come from outside. It does not come from any of those tools and techniques. It does not come from The Miracle Morning or the contents of the 5am Club. Wellbeing is innate. It's like a diamond inside. Sometimes we cannot see it because it gets covered up with conditioned thinking but it is always there. You are perfect, whole and well, let me help you see that! Explore this with me in this episode! Drop me a message if you want to see more. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, March 22, 2022
It's not them, it's you
It's not them, it's you is not always easy to see especially when they are being difficult. But it doesn't matter what someone else does or says. How you feel in that moment is coming from you. That feeling of anger is telling you about your angry state of mind. It's an update from your system letting you know that your thinking is angry. When you spot this in the moment, what you do just changes. Believing the feeling comes from them creates one action. Knowing the feeling comes from thought in the moment different action. It's really just a matter of reading your feelings accurately. If you would like to read you feelings better so you can respond more than react, please drop me a message. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, March 21, 2022
Control
I spent much of my life trying to control. It started with the outside world. Other people's behaviour and my circumstances. I did this because I thought I would feel better if certain things and people were a certain way. I really do believe the controlling became so exhausting that burnout was the result. I was doing and thinking so much that my body and mind gave up. Then I came out the other side of that and thought I had it sussed! What I needed to do was control me! I was broken and needed fixing and I was willing to take on the mission. So I tried everything to control how I felt, thought and behaved. All kinds of therapy, books, podcasts, tools and techniques. But that came at a price too. I felt better but was so addicted to my daily routine that I didn't think I could stop. I thought if I did, insanity would quickly follow. I worked on myself every single day. But then I learnt something which changed all that. I learnt that I had innate wellbeing, that thought in the moment created my experience and to understand the wisdom of my feelings. And everything changed. That change is available to all of us. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, March 18, 2022
Choices
Have you ever wondered what is happening when we make a choice? Here's the truth about it. In any moment, we choose because of where we think our feelings are coming from. Humans are engaged in the process of feeling management much of the time. This drives our choices. So, if we think our feelings are coming from the outside world, we will take action in the outside world to feel differently. But when we know that our feelings are a consequence of our state of mind, we will make a different choice. So it might look like we are trapped making the same old choices all the time but as we become more aware of the way we work, we tend to make choices which are more beneficial for us and the people around us. If you would like to make 'better' choices without continual tools and techniques then please reach out and message me. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, March 17, 2022
Luck
Do you see yourself as lucky? When I look back on the synchronicities in my life it is easier to see. I even see the burnout I experienced in 2015 as lucky now although it wasn't so much at the time. Luck is defined as, 'success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's own actions.' But when I wonder about this, perhaps that is the root of everything. Maybe it is all chance one way or the other. We are born into a particular family, conditioned unconsciously and then spend the rest of our life running the learned program. So how much of it really is our own actions and who even owns those actions? Who is the decision maker if we are running a programme? I am just starting to see this myself so listen to the podcast and see it unfold. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, March 16, 2022
Innate Resilience
Innate resilience. Can you connect to it in yourself? Can you see it in others? It's always been there you know. You have literally been falling down and getting back up your whole life. Sometimes you cannot see you have innate resilience but please know that is just your noisy conditioned thinking blocking the view. A layer of dirt over the light that you are. The thinking that says you are not doing enough, recovering fast enough or crying too much. But non of that means that you are not resilient. It just means you are feeling your thinking right now and that's okay. You are human and you are supposed to feel. If you would like to see your resilience and feel connected to it every day then please drop me a message. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, March 15, 2022
Circumstances
Take a moment to consider your circumstances right now! Are they the ones you thought were going to make you happy? Have you been in that place where you reached the goal and then thought, 'is this it?' I remember that phase of my life when I was seeking happiness out there. Trying to make every thing and every person a particular way. It was exhausting. It led to burnout! Then I learnt that happiness really only exists in the present moment. I have no idea how I will feel in the future. I love to have preferences and a direction of travel but now I know my happiness doesn't depend on it. If you are not happy now, what are you waiting for? Some illusive circumstance which will bring about happiness. What a waste of the precious present moment! It it might be helpful to know that happiness is your natural state. It is available inside you all the time when your mind isn't caught up in time travel. Don't wait until all your ducks are lined up as certain circumstances to be happy! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, March 14, 2022
Success
My definition of success has changed dramatically over the years. I bought into the societal story for a long time. Defining success in terms of wealth, prosperity or fame. It also seemed to be something to aim for in terms of academic success. It then became a big feature of my career progression; moving jobs to a promotion every 4 years whilst I was a primary school teacher then headteacher. Then there was a phase of defining success under my own terms. That brought about setting goals and targets and creating vision boards with my version of success. But now I see that is a trap. The 'when I have x, I will feel y' paradigm undermines everything we have right now. Whether that is for success or any other feeling, it is a TRAP! But what if you could feel successful right now? Enjoy the moment and celebrate what you have already done today. That really is success. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, March 11, 2022
Disguised Blessings
When we feel an uncomfortable sensation it makes sense to want it to go away. Of course it does. No-one wants to feel anxious, stressed, tense or in a low mood. But what if you could see all those sensations as disguised blessings? You see, we are all thinking beings and we are all feeling that thinking. But the thinking we have is a collection of unconscious conditioning. So when we feel a sensation, that is letting us know that a part of that programming has been triggered. From that place, we can get curious. We can ask questions like, 'what am I believing that isn't true?' Past thinking, future thinking, should thinking, I am right thinking. No matter what it is, we can start to reveal the programme and in the revealing there is the start of releasing. No affirmations, no daily journaling. Just awareness and curiosity. If you would like to start dropping your programme without endless tools and techniques, you know how to get in touch. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, March 10, 2022
Discernment
Discernment is defined as the ability to judge well. I guess what I ponder in that is, how do we know if we are judging well when it seems that all we have to judge with is our own conditioned thinking. But I see that there is a space for discernment which opens up as we go deeper and deeper into the exploration of reality. What is real is that you are perfect, whole and well. What is also real is that you have been conditioned by life and that it is that conditioned mind which creates your reality (not actual reality). What else is true is that you feel sensations in your body. Those sensations are your emotional response to the 'reality' you are creating through that conditioned thinking. And that is where discernment can come in. It's like there are two paths. 1: believing those sensations are information about the outside world and acting as if that were true. 2: realising that those sensations are letting you know about your conditioned state of mind right now and acting accordingly. So the discernment I am talking about is that ability to realise that all the thoughts that pass through your head are not true. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, March 09, 2022
Curiosity
They say that curiosity killed the cat. The meaning of that phrase is that being inquisitive about other people's affairs may get you into trouble. When I invite curiosity, it is very different. I invite you to direct your curiosity inside in an enquiring way. The curiosity I invite starts with a simple understanding. The truth that your feelings are an update from your system letting you know about your state of mind. Your feelings are never telling you about the outside world, other people's behaviour or a mental illness label. Your feelings are letting you know about your thinking. From that simple understanding the curiosity can come in. The question I love to start this exploration is, 'What am I believing that isn't true?' The answers don't have to be the actual words of the thinking. It seems to be more like a genre of thinking which comes to mind. Should thinking, future/ past thinking or thinking we know what is in someone else's head. When we start this enquiry, our natural system starts to self-right. The thinking and feelings pass without us needing to do anything. Awareness and curiosity are so powerful. If you would like to stop all that feeling management and control, please get in touch. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, March 08, 2022
Seeking Calm
Seeking calm feels like a thing to do. There so many tools and techniques available to do that. I don't need to list them. But the thing is, you are calm. That is what you are made of. The seeking you are doing is covering that up. The searching is hiding present moment calm. It helps to know it is there. That it never, ever leaves you. When your noisy mind quietens it re-emerges. But your noisy mind just gets noisier when you are seeking calm. You feelings are a beautiful update from your system. They let you know about your state of mind. Your state of mind created via thought in the moment. The thoughts that will pass if you let them. When you realise that the seeking of calm is creating the opposite, it suddenly makes less sense. Would you like to connect to your innate calm without all those tools and techniques? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, March 07, 2022
Similarities
There are more similarities than differences between us. I know that is very hard to see that sometimes but there are some fundamental things which are true for every single one of us. That we are connected to each other. No matter whether you talk quantum physics or spiritual energy, we are connected. To each other and to every other living thing in the universe. We are conscious, aware beings. Sometimes we are more aware of this than at other times. But it is always there. You might have noticed that when you give a thought a lot of attention, you feel that thought more. That is consciousness in action. We are creating a reality using our conditioned mind to think and feel. So, when we think a thought and feel a feeling, where we think that feeling is coming from dictates which thoughts we act upon. When we are confused and we think our feelings are coming from the outside world, we take action in the outside world to 'solve' our feelings. Thinking is something we are all doing but it is the thing which separates us. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, March 04, 2022
Adding Doesn't Help
I spent a long time teaching people to add in order to feel okay. Adding affirmations, meditation and gratitude practices. Adding knowledge from self-development gurus. Adding podcasts, audio books and courses. I encourage others to see themselves as broken and needing fixing. Like there was something missing which needed putting back in from the outside. I didn't see what I see now. That we are actually whole and well and that it is only our noisy head which stops us seeing that over and over again. When you see this truth, it makes less and less sense to add more things to our already busy heads. Tools and techniques are thoughts after all and more thinking takes us away from our innate wellbeing. Once we know how our psychological system works, it makes less and less sense to add more noise to it. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, March 03, 2022
The Journey to Calm
My journey to calm really started in January 2020 but before that I thought I was on it. For a long I thought the journey to calm was about meditation, yoga and affirmations. I experienced calm but it was hard work and I thought I had to keep doing all those things to be okay. My journey to calm since 2020 has been so different. Rather than a process of adding, it has been a process of subtracting. A realisation that we are made of calm and that all those tools and techniques tend to cover that over rather than reveal it. So much has fallen away. My belief in my thoughts. The wrongification of my feelings. The need to be in a different feeling state. The need for other people and circumstances to be different. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, March 02, 2022
Trying to Control Feelings
Trying to control our feelings is like trying to fix a system which is not broken. A system which was created perfectly to support you in life. A much misunderstood system. You see, your feelings only have one piece of information in them; they are telling you about your state of mind. They are a perfect warning system. Like a tap on the shoulder from your amazing system to say, 'Hey you! Your thinking is like this right now.' Once you understand how this system is working and you begin to work with it instead of against it, your experience of life will transform. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, March 01, 2022
Preferences
We all have preference. That is pretty human. But have you noticed how some circumstances don't seem to be preferences. But there are some things in life which don't seem to be preferences. They seem to be necessary in order for us to feel okay. Past examples of this for me were other people's behaviour, my career status, my success on Tinder and how much stuff I owned. When I thought my experience was created outside-in, I spent a lot of time trying to fix my feelings by controlling the outside world. Exhausting behaviour which led to burnout. You see, our experience is not created outside-in. It is created inside-out. It is our perspective and thought in the moment which creates our feelings not our circumstances or other people. There is a very different feeling which comes with a preference as apposed to 'must be in order for me to be okay.' It is a lighter feeling with less pressure and a quieter mind. My circumstances have to be a certain way for me to be okay changes to I would prefer them to be a certain way. From this place we are calmer, have more clarity and can take the next step to our preference. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, February 28, 2022
Noticing
Noticing is one of the most powerful ways we can change but it is a particular kind of noticing. It comes from a place of understanding how the system works. Knowing the connection between thoughts, feelings and behaviour. It comes from knowing a fact that when we feel an emotion in the body, that is an update telling us about our state of mind. From that place, noticing is powerful. It brings up questions like what am I believing that isn't true, what story have I created here and what behaviour would be helpful? But here's what is not helpful when we are noticing; judgement, wrongification, outside in thinking and poking around in the past. Noticing when those start to happen is helpful too. As your awareness rises, it is amazing what starts to fall away. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, February 25, 2022
Being Right
I spent a long time being right and goodness did I get riled up about it. It was my way or the highway! I would get angry and upset when someone didn't behave as I thought they should. I still sometimes do it now to be honest but a whole lot less than I used to. You see I have had some realisations about the idea that I am right. Firstly knowing that the things I believe are just the things I learnt from other people as I was growing up. I used to see them as my opinions but now I see them as the opinions of my ancestors. Of course they often look real because they were learnt unconsciously but they really are not. Secondly I now see that the awful feeling I get when I rant about someone else's behaviour is coming from my thinking about that behaviour not from the behaviour itself. Thirdly I know that I am fundamentally connected to everyone in the world. They have their thinking and I have mine but in reality we are all connected. When I come from the idea of that connection, it seems easier to ignore different opinions and see what is similar about us rather than what is different. The final thing is that I know I work better psychologically when I am in a nicer feeling and understanding all the above has me there more of the time. So it just makes sense. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, February 24, 2022
Reality Check
Here are some things you might think are real which really are not! What you think someone else is thinking, thoughts about the future, the limiting beliefs you have about yourself, the things you think you are right about and your memories of the bad things which happened in the past to name but a few. You might be wondering why I am telling you this. Why I am telling you that a big chunk of what passes through your head is a pack of lies. Just read the list again and think about how those types of thinking make you feel. Uncomfortable, angry, anxious, stressed and powerless. That's your amazing system working perfectly, telling you about your state of mind. Using our feelings as a guide to tell us about our state of mind is the route to freedom from suffering. A simple raising of awareness which is more effective that anything you have ever tried to make yourself feel better. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, February 23, 2022
Work-Life Balance
Work-life balance seems to be something we should pursue. The lack of it is blamed for all sorts of ills such as burnout, stress related illness and heart-attacks. But what does it actually mean to have work-life balance? But work-life balance is unique for each and every one of us; a concept created in thought. In other words having balance will look different depending on how you think about it. For example, I often work very early in the morning because I happen to be up then but don't try to get me to do much after about 7pm because that's when I am ready to chill out and watch something mindless on the box in the corner of the room. We are all different and we all have a different idea about what balance looks like to us. The trouble actually occurs when we try to shoe-horn ourselves in to someone else's idea of balance. That can lead to overthinking and actually increase our stress levels. What is most important is awareness. Things like noticing the voice saying keep going when you are tired out and the voice saying you are not good enough if you don't. Balance is something we can create easily with a rise in awareness. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, February 22, 2022
Solving Problems
We all have problems to solve and it seems there are lots of possible ways to do this but there are problems with these strategies. They are using our old, conditioned thinking to find a solution to a problem which has been created by the same old, conditioned thinking. Perhaps you have noticed that feeling when you are going round and round in circles and the same things keep coming up again and again. It's like you are shaking your mind but the same things keep falling out. I suspect you have also noticed when the best solutions appear. All of a sudden and out of the blue. When you are thinking about something else or in a more relaxed state of mind. They appear like magic and you say, 'Why didn't I think of that before?' It's because, when we are not thinking about something with our conditioned mind, we connect to something deeper; wisdom and the intelligence of creation. It is in that quiet that new thought emerges and thus we can experience clarity and see the solution. We are told to make our minds busier to be more effective but we have been sold a lie. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, February 21, 2022
Pain and Physical Symptoms
It took me a long time to see how my experience of my physical body was being created. I have had a few physical things over the last few years including adrenal fatigue, under active thyroid, the menopause and everything that brings, a frozen shoulder lasting a year (so far) and headaches caused by histamine intolerance. At first I couldn't accept that I wasn't experiencing my physical body just as it was but now I see this very differently. Even our physical body has to be experienced through the power of thought and awareness in the moment. It cannot be experienced any other way and when we see this, a whole world of opportunities for healing unfolds. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, February 18, 2022
Meditation
I used to meditate every single day. In fact, I didn't miss a day for about 4 years. I did it when I was on holiday, when I was busy and even when I wasn't feeling very well. You see, I was on a mission to make myself feel a certain way. I wanted to feel calmer, more motivated and better about myself. But it became an addiction because I reached the point where I didn't think I could be okay if I didn't meditate. Over the last couple of years, I have considered what meditation actually is especially after I attended a lovely event run by Michael Neill and Dicken Bettinger called 'Living in a State of Meditation.' You see, I now see meditation as a state of mind which available to all of us when we are not so caught up in our personal thinking. I love that Jeff Foster says about it, "What is meditation? Pure fascination with this moment, exactly as it is." As I have explored the truth about how human experience is created deeper and deeper, I find myself naturally spending more time in the present moment. So instead of meditating every day, I now live in a state of meditation much more of the time. What I would love you to see is that you are not broken, you don't need fixing and that everything you are looking for through tools and techniques like mediation is available to you always; it's what you are made of. Imagine not just getting through each day but getting into it like you would a mediation; noticing every moment in all it's glory. You don't have to be a guru to experience this. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, February 17, 2022
Thought Control
Thought control has had great PR over that last few years. I did a quick search for 'How to control your thinking', on Google and got 9,840,000,000 results! Ridiculous but I have probably tried a fair few of them because I tried for ages to control my thinking. I tried and tried but the negative thoughts still kept on turning up. It was exhausting and I felt like a failure. Why did other people seem to be able to control their thinking and I couldn't? It was because I was being sold a lie and here's why. You categorically cannot control what appears in your head. Once you have noticed a thought, it is already there and if you want to change it, you have to pull it back into your awareness. A thought has no meaning until you give it one. In others words having a negative thought does not define you as a negative person. It's like watching clouds of various shapes going across the sky. When you realise the nature of thought, you reach the point of no longer needing to change them. Things can turn up in your head and you don't have to take them all seriously. Freedom lies there. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, February 16, 2022
Changing People
How many people do you need to change? Your parents, partner, children, friends. Who else is on the list? When we live in the outside in paradigm, it can look like there are some people who have to be different for us to be happy. But have you noticed the amount of work that involves and how overwhelming it can become? I didn't until it was too late and I burnt out. It can be helpful to see the layers to this desire to change people. Firstly the idea that other people can make us feel anything is fundamentally flawed because we don't all feel the same way about certain people. Secondly, how you perceive someone is being created through your beliefs and perception of the world. Thirdly, other people find it hard enough to change themselves so what makes you think you can do it. As you start to see these truths about how life works, it makes less and less sense to try to change other people and more sense to bring some awareness to what you are believing which isn't true. If you would like to have more ease in your relationships and feel less like your sanity depends on them, then please get in touch. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, February 15, 2022
Understanding Things
Do you often find yourself trying to understand things like the decisions of government, the behaviour of other people or the circumstances you find yourself in. I know that feeling well. It can seem like if I rack my brains long enough, the answer will emerge. It does seem to work doesn't it? I often conclude my little internal exploration with a self-satisfied sigh! That's the point at which I think I have worked it all out. 😂 However, the working out I have done is all nonsense. I see that more and more now. The stories I create are made from my conditioned thinking and my beliefs. They look so real but they are not and the same applies to every single one of us. Things that happen in the world come from a complicated set of conditioned thinking of another person or people. We could never really understand that because we are only in possession of our conditioned thinking not theirs. So maybe we are not meant to understand things in the way we are used to. It is helpful to know the truth and that is that every single one of us is doing the very best with the thinking which looks real to us. Knowing that can take a lot off your mind and with less on your mind, anything is possible. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, February 14, 2022
I was miles away
Do you ever use the phrase, 'I was miles away'? As I walked up a narrow path a few days ago, there was a woman in front of me. She didn't hear me coming so I had to say, 'excuse me' to get past her. As I walked on by, she said, 'Sorry. I was miles away'. Hearing that phrase really made me think. Sometimes we are so caught up in our thinking that we have no idea we are miles away. Our thinking might be in the past, in the future or even inside someone else's head. Maybe it is actually miles away as we imagine ourselves on a beach in Bali! Although it can be fun to play in that space, there is something helpful when we realise we are doing it, particularly if the feeling which comes with it is uncomfortable. If you notice that you are feeling uncomfortable, maybe just ask this question. 'Where is my thinking right now?' and see what occurs. Just noticing that you have gone to a different place in time and space usually helps it start to shift and then you just tend to feel better. It's like magic. If you would like to raise your awareness of your time travelling mind and as a result experience more confidence, calm and clarity just drop me a message on clare@uniquejourney.co.uk Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, February 11, 2022
Objective Reality
Have you ever considered what is real? In our world of form, there are clearly some things which exist. On my desk right now, there are all sorts of things. A mic, a phone, a laptop, a mug etc. I am not here to deny the existence of things but as you look out into the world and interact with it and the people in it, have you considered how much of what you experience is real. Let's take something simple like the temperature in a room. My fiancé and I often disagree. He (being from the Southern hemisphere) will be cold whilst I am warm. The temperature is one thing, but we perceive it differently. That is because his conditioning around temperature has been different to mine. Now take that micro situation across every single one of your experiences. It is a bit mind blowing but, it is impossible for you to see reality objectively. The way you have been conditioned through years of unintentional learning means that you can only see an objective reality. You might be wondering why this is helpful but it really is. That is because in the moment when you are caught up, feeling overwhelmed and stressed, it might just provide a chink of light. Maybe that person isn't being mean. Maybe you don't look stupid. Maybe you are not being judged. Just knowing the mind is unable to create an objective reality can be helpful. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, February 10, 2022
Managing the Future
How much time do you spend in the future? I put dates in my diary but other than that I spend little time in the future these days but that wasn't always the case. I used to be a virtually full time worrier. I would make up scenarios in my head and then try to reassure myself that it would be okay. It was exhausting but I know I am not the only one. Here's the challenge with the future and you might need to read this sentence a few times. We cannot guarantee to the mind that the things we are fearing in the future are not going to happen. But we try don't we. So what is actually happening is that we are making up the future and then trying to manage the thing we made up. It's like trying to run an APP from the future on our 2022 mobile phone. It just doesn't work. Waking up from this is actually easier than you think. It's all in the feeling. Your off feeling is not telling you about the future scenario, but it is telling you about your thinking about the future scenario. Off feeling comes from off thinking. Realising this in the moment can help that future thinking to make a lot less sense. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, February 09, 2022
Inside Someone Else's Head
How much time do you spend inside someone else's head? This came up more than once in coaching conversations yesterday but I think we all do it sometimes. We make up stories about what other people are thinking and try to interpret the looks on their faces. Sometimes we even do it when we received a message from someone. I did it this morning in a conversation about a chair (listen to the live to here more). It was amusing when I thought about what I had done afterwards. But it isn't always amusing is it? It can sometimes feel awful and it can even make us behave in a particular way towards that person. Maybe we even end up in a place of defensiveness or avoidance. What is helpful here is to understand a couple of truths. Firstly that the off feeling you have whilst making up those stories is coming from your thinking not the other person's behaviour. Secondly, you are not able to read people and any story you have about the contents of their heads is coming from you not them. When those truths are really seen, all our interactions (even with those tricky people) can transform and generally we can feel a whole lot better. If you would like to see through your stories about other people, please drop me a message. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, February 08, 2022
Thought Separates Us
Are there some people you really don't get on with? We all have someone don't we? Someone who seems to rub us up the wrong way. We can feel the sensation often before they have even arrived in our space. There might be a clue in that! But have you also noticed when you really get on with someone. When the conversation flows and the time passes quickly. When there is presence and connection. There are certain things getting in the way of our connection with other people. Our conditioned beliefs, our perception and our thoughts. Without all that noise, we are connected by love, wisdom and calm (what we are all really made of). Transformation in all our relationships is available when we see this. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, February 07, 2022
Don't Swallow the Storm
'Don't swallow the storm', was a brilliant phrase I heard on a TV show I was watching over the weekend. I just love the beautiful guidance in this advice because that is what we do, isn't it. We take the things which are not going well in the world inside us then we add to them and make them more stormy. I don't know about you but I can rant and rave about all sorts and it doesn't feel very nice. But worst of all, it lulls us into the illusion that it is the outside world making us feel that way. The more of the storm we swallow, the more real that illusion seems and then freedom from the storm looks like it is only available in the changing of the outside world. But that's not where freedom is. Freedom from the storm comes when we realise that the world works inside out NOT outside in. Then swallowing the storm makes less and less sense! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, February 04, 2022
You are a Diamond
You are a diamond because everything you are seeking outside you is already there inside. Your resilience that meant you fell down and got up over and over whilst learning to walk. Your confidence which meant you were first on the dancefloor as a toddler. Your calm which meant you were once able to flow between emotional states without judgement. All those things are inside you still now! They have not been broken, damaged or stolen away. Sometimes you cannot connect to them because your head is full of conditioned thought and beliefs which are not true. But as your mind gets quieter, you will see them more and more. As your mind gets quieter, you can reconnect to your diamond inside. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, February 03, 2022
Confused About Calm
Are you confused about calm? If you are I think you might not be the only one. In a networking meeting recently, I said I helped people to be calm and one of the other people in the zoom room said he did the opposite to me. Then he said that he helped people to be more excited, engaged and passionate. This isn't the first time I have heard this idea. That calm is the opposite to all sorts of other emotions. The idea that if you are calm, you are sat on the sofa totally chilled out. But what if you knew that calm could be there all the time? That you can be calm and engaged, calm and excited or passionate and even calm and anxious. Because calm is inside you, always there. You connect to it when you know that all feelings are okay. Every single one of them. Then you can be an upside down swan (explained in the podcast) and experience calm no matter what is going on in the outside world or inside you. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, February 02, 2022
Proof Reading
Are you any good at proof reading? I thought I had that licked but a few days ago, I invited some people to check out my membership space. One of my friends immediately sent back some edits. Silly spelling mistakes, missing letters and other things I just had not seen. This was despite a lot of checking prior to publication. Sometimes we just cannot see it can we? I thought this was a beautiful analogy for how we work. We are always judging the rightness or wrongness of our thinking with our thinking. It is like we are doing are own quality control with the same thoughts which we are trying to quality control and that's where I come in (or any good coach for that matter). You can be helped to see what you are believing that isn't true which helps things to fall away and can help you feel better as you become less and less caught up in thought. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, February 01, 2022
The Source of All Suffering
What do you think is happening when you are not feeling okay? Do you think it is because the outside world is not okay, because other people are behaving badly or that there is something wrong with you? Looking for the source of your feelings can be a never ending search. I was seeking in that way for a long time and I looked in all those places. It was fruitless, exhausting and led to burnout! You see, your feelings have one piece of information in them. That suffering you are experiencing is only telling you one thing. It's telling you that you are believing something that isn't true! That your thinking is off. Every time you see this, something falls away; a bit of conditioned thought, some old learned stuff or some lie you were told. Then there is relief and less suffering. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, January 31, 2022
Thoughts Flow
Have you noticed where your thoughts tend to flow? Probably down the same tracks they have always flowed down a bit like the way streams flow down a mountain to a river. The water goes where it has always gone. We have furrows like that in our old, habitual, conditioned thoughts but what is useful to know is that THEY ARE NOT TRUE! Just because they turn up in your head, they are not valid. It's just that they are used to flowing there. It helps to just notice and bring awareness but stay away from judgement. Those thoughts can still show up, flowing in the same direction but you don't have to take them seriously or believe them. There's freedom in knowing that's what is going on! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, January 28, 2022
You are okay!
I know that might sometimes seem hard to believe that you are okay but I guess it depends what you view as being okay. It is okay to cry, to have negative thoughts and to feel anxious. I could go on and on and on. When I talk to clients, I see this all the time. They often have an unreasonable expectation of themselves, an idea that they are different to everyone else and the concept that they should be in control. Once a client said to me that they wanted their life to be like a straight line with no more ups and downs. I said I couldn't help them with that because life is a contact sport. It is supposed to go up and down both in the world outside and within us. You cannot stop this but if you are trying to, that's really hard work. It is possible to experience the whole of life and still know you are okay (and you don't need endless tools and techniques to do that). Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, January 27, 2022
Weather System of the Mind
Are you in touch with your internal weather system right now? Is it stormy, sunny or maybe a little cloudy? It is good to be aware because there is information in that weather. It's an update to let you know how your thinking is. But this metaphor goes on. It is a beautiful description of human experience. Just like countries of the world we all have our own unique weather system and just like the weather, that system is variable. Just like the sun, our innate wellbeing is always hidden behind the clouds and just like the weather thinking can change naturally without intervention. And once we know this, we can make better decisions, just like choosing to carry an umbrella when the weather is wet. But confusion is never more than a thought away. In those moments when we think that weather is coming from somewhere other than our weather front, it looks like there are things to do to correct it. So, just pause and breathe and notice the feeling in your body, the time zone of your thoughts and where you think that weather system is coming from. Because that is all you need to allow the weather front to pass so you can naturally fall back into calm and clarity. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, January 26, 2022
Balloons
Have you noticed what happens when you stop blowing air into a balloon? Silly question I know but bear with me. Let's imagine a scenario! You have a number of balloons you are trying to blow up at once with a canister of helium. You start blowing up balloon #1 so it starts to inflate and rise but then you move on to balloon #2 and start pumping the helium into it. Balloon #1 goes down and sinks and balloon #2 rises. But then you go on to balloon #3 and it rises. I don't need to continue as I am sure you have got the picture. The balloon you are giving attention to is the one which rises. Your thoughts are the same because you always feel the one you are paying attention to. It's your awareness or consciousness which gives the thought it's energy otherwise thoughts are neutral like flaccid balloons. Knowing this is how your system works can help you stop endless self-development, feel calm and think clearly more of the time, connect to you innate confidence and resilience and fall into a place of natural self-acceptance. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, January 25, 2022
Being Afraid of Being Afraid
I remember the first time I became aware of being afraid of being afraid. It was many years ago when I first started helping people with fear. A woman I was working with was afraid of flying. She spoke of the fear of the fear arriving. That when it came she wouldn't be able to handle it would look stupid and wouldn't be able to go on holiday. So over the weeks running up to any holiday, the pressure built and built. I helped her feel better but I see something different about this now. It's the misunderstanding we have about what fear actually is that is the problem. We think we are afraid of something and we don't know that we have fearful thinking. It's a subtle but profound difference which once understood changes everything. Fear is a thought, an actual sign you are working perfectly and it will always pass. Imagine experiencing fear and not being afraid of it. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, January 24, 2022
Two Paradigms
Can life work within more than one paradigm? In other words, can there be more than one model of how something works that is true? The set of psychological principles I share is often called the Inside Out paradigm. It says that our experience is created from the inside out. That when we feel something, the feeling is coming from how we think about something not from the thing itself. This applies to people, circumstances, behaviour and even how we experience ourselves. When I work with clients, they see it quickly in some areas of life. They might notice that they feel less upset about their boss, less stressed about the things happening in their lives or they notice they respond more than react. But then they get stuck. There is something in life which appears to work outside in. It might be money, their partner or just about anything. But the thing with a paradigm is that it works all the time. Like gravity! Working all the time, all day, every day! If you forget about gravity, you might throw stone in the air and get a sharp pain on the top of your head and If you try to live your life across 2 paradigms, confusion ensues. Your experience of life is created one way, 100% of the time and when you realise this, unpleasant feelings bring about curiosity rather than a need to fix the outside world or yourself. Much simpler than the alternative. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, January 21, 2022
Unlearning
Have you ever contemplated how much you have learned in life? When I think about that, it feels like thinking about the size of the universe; impossible to conceive of the size of it. You definitely learnt some things which have served you well through life. Some practical things like gravity always makes things fall, things to keep you safe like fire burns and useful things like how to walk and talk. But what about the less useful things you learnt? Have you considered them much? Like the time you learnt you were stupid because someone was angry with you, that money causes problems because you overheard an argument and that you are unlovable because of how someone treated you. Right from the moment of our birth, we are learning these things about ourselves and every thought which passes through your head is a consequence of that learning. It might seem like a lot of work to change all that but I see it more as quality control. Those awful thoughts you have about yourself have literally nothing to do with you because they were unknowingly learnt from the conditioned thinking of the people around you. As we start to see the quality of what passes thought our heads, we can gently start to take it less seriously and we just become more discerning and the unlearning happens naturally. The result of this is self-acceptance, calm, confidence and clarity. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, January 20, 2022
Thinking About Thinking
How much time do you spend thinking about your thinking was a question I asked recently on social media. The result showed that 67% of respondents spend more than 50% of their time think about their thinking. I can so relate to this because I spent a lot of time doing this. It seems that it is encouraged by self-development, therapy and even by coaches. Perhaps the idea is that once we have thought long and hard about our thinking that we will then be able to change it. But have you noticed how flipping hard that it? It might seem like you have cracked it for a while but then those same old thoughts come in again. Because while ever you are focusing on a particular type of thinking you would like to see less of, you are more likely to notice that thinking. Because thoughts are actually neutral until we give them meaning. When we start to see our psychological system in this way, we can be kinder to ourselves, let thoughts go more easily, not judge ourselves so much and spend less time trying to change our thoughts. From that place there is more confidence, clarity and calm. Imagine that? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, January 19, 2022
Are you perfect?
Are you perfect? I know I am not! I make mistakes and mess up because I am human. My mistakes might look different to yours and my judgement might make yours look worse than mine in my head. But sometimes my judgement makes my mistakes looks worse than yours. Either way in our heads is the only place they are worse. In reality they are all the same because they are all human. Human beings doing the best they can in the moment based on the thinking which looks real to them. It's easy to judge when we see behaviour we don't like and it's harder to look at it with compassion. But guess which feels calmer. And from that calm place you are more likely to do something to improve things. Turns out we don't need to get angry to make a change. Perhaps you would like to experience more compassion and therefore feel calmer. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, January 18, 2022
Defining Ourselves
"How do you know who you are?", is a really interesting question to think about. It's a consideration of what we think defines us. Perhaps we might think it is our behaviour, thoughts or feelings. The meaning we make of this can create so much suffering and who we really are gets so easily missed. Because the entity being defined is made of the same thinking as the one doing the defining. So then we notice certain things about ourselves and we believe that tells us who we are. It can seem like feeling an anxious feeling means we are anxious, behaving badly means we are bad or thinking a negative thought means we are negative. Then we are missing so much because our beliefs narrow down what we can see. We miss the times we are calm, 'good' or thinking positively. So the truth is that what we experience is never a problem; it's only problem if we think that defines who we are and when we realise this, we can enjoy more of our experiences and don't have to think they mean something about us. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, January 17, 2022
Is this true?
"Is this true?" is such a powerful question. When you are caught up and feeling stressed can you become aware of your thoughts. You don't need to judge them as right or wrong - that's not helpful. But noticing is different, awareness is powerful and consciousness helps. Because is what you are thinking really true? On a fundamental level is it a fact? When you consider human life, how much is actually true? Maybe there are some scientific facts like gravity but the rest of it. Who knows? When you start to consider this, the noise in your head starts to look less potent. You can hold it a little lighter. In this exploration one truth is vital to know and that is that you are feeling your thinking. Off feeling always comes from off thinking and alongside the questioning of truth, that can start an unlearning process which is utterly transformational. Perhaps you would like to unlearn the noise in your head. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, January 14, 2022
Internal Ruler
How do we measure how we are feeling? Maybe in comparison to a previous state, by looking at other people or through an ideal that we have created for ourselves. I was considering this yesterday with a client. He believed he wasn't where he should be in terms of his reaction to something which was happening in his life and the question occurred to me, 'How do you know?'. I wanted him to explore how he knew he wasn't doing okay. I wondered, 'Does this internal measurement system really work?' How accurately can we actually measure how we are doing, feeling and being? I suspect not very because it is the same conditioned thinking doing the measuring as being measured. It's the same set of beliefs and you might have noticed that a ruler cannot measure itself. How we are feeling right now is being seen through different eyes to the ones who saw how we were feeling yesterday. All these is here is something to notice and hold more lightly. If you are not feeling okay right now, perhaps you are not the most accurate judge of that. Perhaps you would like to stop continually noticing how bad you are feeling! It's possible for everyone - drop me a message if you would like to find out how. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, January 13, 2022
Self-Love
Have you ever tried to love yourself? It seems to be well thought of advice. In fact I nearly branded myself as a Self-Love Coach a few years ago. At that time, it seemed that it was a valid part of self-development but I think very differently now. When I consider, 'You just need to learn to love yourself' I see something new. I wonder who is the 'you' who is going to love 'yourself'. Are they not one and the same? The same collection of thoughts because that is what the self is after all. The person we think we are and the person we think we need to love are both created from the same conditioned thinking. They are not real or solid. But underneath that is something special. Underneath our thoughts, feelings and behaviours, that's all there is love and when we start to see this, we experience that more of the time. We don't need to add more thinking but seeing through it is transformational. If you would like to experience more of who you really are - love, peace, wisdom, confidence and resilience please email clare@uniquejourney.co.uk Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, January 12, 2022
A New Psychological Model
Do you think humans can be psychologically broken? If you do, you are not alone because this is a psychological belief which is widely held. The idea that we are missing pieces; stolen away by our previous experience of life. Things like confidence, resilience and calm. But how about a psychological renaissance? A new way of seeing ourselves: the human race not based on lack. Here it is ... We are born whole, well and indestructible like a DIAMOND. Granted we then learn some things about ourselves and the world some helpful and some not. These thoughts are like horse poop covering the diamond stopping us from seeing the potential which is inside. But that's just noisy thought, nothing permanent. The diamond you are is still there holding your innate wellbeing. When you begin to see the nature of this, those unhelpful thoughts in your head just start to make less and less sense. And then you can reconnect to who you really are. Imagine that. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, January 11, 2022
Responses and Reactions
Have you noticed that other people don't respond the way you think they will? Twice in the last few days I have communicated something which has been seen differently to how I intended it. This has so much information in it because it points to what is true about human beings. They are all unique, different and have their own perspective. It's not that one is right and one is wrong. They really are just different. This means that we can do something well meaning or send a message with good intention and it can be completely misunderstood. The thing is, there is not much we can do about that but knowing that it is just part of the way humans work can be helpful. When someone responds in an unexpected way, the feelings we feel come from our expectations not from the other person. The feelings we feel come from them not behaving as we thought they would and when we see that, there can be more compassion, more calm and more clarity as to what to do next. Which will probably be something other than trying to persuade the other person what your intentions were. Imagine if you could see this in all your relationships? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, January 10, 2022
Crying
Do you appreciate a good cry? A swell of emotion which rises up and bubbles over which can come from happy thoughts or sad ones. Sometimes I experience it when there is a deep connection with a client and I have even cried during lives on social media. I used to care about what other people thought about it but these days I literally don't give two hoots. I wonder if you have noticed how you feel after you have cried. I saw a post recently where many people expressed that they felt better after they had cried. Here's my theory on why. Once we are crying, we focus just a little less on the contents of our minds. There's wiping tears, blowing our nose (why do those things have to happen together) and doing whatever else makes sense. Just for a while there is less focus on our thoughts. So then they do what thoughts are naturally supposed to do and pass! Then there is space for new thinking, wisdom and a little more calm because that's what allowing our thoughts to pass brings about. That's actually available more of the time once you understand how this system works, not just when you are crying. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, January 07, 2022
Reading People
How good do you think you are at reading people? I remember being taught once that reading people was part of the job of a coach. Checking eye movements, facial expressions and body language. But then I began to wonder about when we learn to read people and I thought about my primary teaching days. Characters in children's reading scheme books would have very distinct expressions and in the text we would be told what that expressions meant. We also used to help children to learn about emotions by looking at simple emoji faces and matching them to an emotion. Maybe that's where the idea that we can know how other people are feelings starts but I wonder how helpful it is to us now. Can we really know what someone else is feeling and therefore thinking or does that fill our heads with unnecessary noise? When we make up the thoughts and feelings of another person, that is a reflection of our perception and thought not theirs. We can only perceive through the lenses of our own thinking and when we realise this, it stops making so much sense to make up the psychological contents of other people. And that's then something else you don't have on your mind. What a relief! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, January 06, 2022
Should!
How much do you use the word 'should'? This should be like that, I should be better or this shouldn't be happening. Have you noticed how it feels? Pretty off I think. It feels off because should is an alarm call letting you know that your thinking is off. Because off thinking creates an off feelings. What you are feeling is your resistance to what is. You are not feeling the thing itself. There is a subtle difference. That's why we don't all have the same 'shoulds'. There is something powerful and transformational about bringing some awareness to this. Just noticing though; nothing else. I would love to know what you notice when you get curious about your use of the word 'should'. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, January 05, 2022
The Same Old Moves
Are you using the same old moves when life gets tricky? Perhaps this is something you have noticed or maybe not because we humans are pretty habitual creatures. We have things we turn to in our hour of need. It might be a drink to relieve stress or even a bar of chocolate, loosing your temper and scolding a loved one or even meditating and trying to control your state of mind. You might categorise some of the above differently. The first two unhealthy, the third one healthy but they all come from the same misunderstanding. The mistaken idea about where our feelings are coming from known as the outside-in misunderstanding. But what if there was the possibility of some new moves which come from the truth! The truth that our feelings come from one place; thought in the moment. Once this becomes clear, we can access infinite wisdom and gain amazing clarity. Imagine that! What could you achieve with a few new moves? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, January 04, 2022
The Rules of Human Experience
Are you working with an understanding of the rules of human experience because life is so much easier when you do? Let's take gravity as an example. Imagine you didn’t understand how it worked. You would spend time trying to find new ways to keep on top of all the cleaning up of broken things. You might pad out your home so things were less likely to break. You also might have a system to quickly replace things and lots of ways to make the money to pay for them. Imagine how busy you would be; not just physically but also in your head. Now imagine that I came along and explained gravity as an invisible force which always makes things fall down. At first you have to concentrate on putting things down safely but over time you would develop a deep embodied understanding of gravity. In other words it would become natural for you to put things down carefully without thinking. This would be a gradual process with phases when you would remember and other times when you would forget. But overall you would gradually have a nicer, more simple experience of life. Human suffering is created 100% by a misunderstanding of where our feelings are coming from i.e. the rules of life. With these rules under your belt you can have a much nicer experience of life and stop all those tools and techniques to maintain your wellbeing. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, December 24, 2021
Self-Development
"When do we start learning all this self-development stuff?", was a brilliant question I was asked by a client recently. As adults, I think we usually come across self-development by accident. Perhaps because we are struggling, starting a business or by stumbling across, 'The Secret'. But I think it starts way before that. When we are very small, we start to learn that thoughts, emotions and behaviour are ours to control. Well meaning adults may say things like stop crying, don't be angry, why can't you stop doing that and sit over there and think about what you have done. As an ex headteacher and parent I stand accused and plead guilty! But I know that you and I and all the other adults were always doing the best they could with the thinking which looked real to them in the moment. But perhaps that is when we learn that it is up to us and as we get older we learn that there are many different ways to think better, feel better and do better. So the self-development rabbit hole searching begins. But the whole thing is based on a lie. The self we are trying to develop is a collection of thoughts, beliefs and old nonsense we have picked up and the one doing the developing of that self is made of the same stuff. That's why it is never ending and self-perpetuating. But, seeing through the façade of the self is different because when you see through it, it naturally falls away. And that is where freedom lies. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, December 23, 2021
Importance
What seems really important to you right now? Perhaps things turning out a certain way, maybe someone behaving differently or wanting to feel a different way. I was considering what happens when we give something importance. I think we give it an extra dose of energy and awareness and elevate that thing above the rest of life. Like overfilling a balloon full with air, it gets bigger and bigger until it is fit to burst. And just like the overfilled balloon, there is tension ... so much tension! We grasp on to the thing and it seems like we cannot be okay if it is not so. But perhaps the things we want would be better held more lightly because that over filled balloon is really filled with thought and those thoughts are taking us away from inner guidance. And maybe, just maybe you can be okay even if those things are not the way you would like them to be. That experience is available to all of us. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, December 22, 2021
Believing
Do you believe what you think about yourself? You know! That little voice inside your head which says all sorts of unhelpful things! Things like you can't do that, you are going to look stupid or people are watching and judging. But have you noticed how often that voice is wrong. You do the thing it said you couldn't over and over again! That's because that voice knows absolutely nothing about you! That voice is made of other people's opinions of you and your innocent misunderstandings about the world. It started being formed when you were very small. Then it stuck around. Then it became a self-fulfilling prophecy but none of it is true! And time and time again it is proved wrong. And as you start to see through it, those occasions happen more and more often! Imagine what you could do if you no longer believed the voice in your head. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, December 21, 2021
Fulfilment
Will you be seeking fulfilment in 2022? In other words, will you be seeking 'the achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted'? It seems we all are in some way, shape or form. Perhaps it is human to do so. But when I reflect on the words in that definition, it is easy to see the rabbit holes down which seeking fulfilment could take us. Desires can be fun if held lightly but if it looks like our happiness depends on them being fulfilled, that can lead us down an uncomfortable path. Promises are very similar but seem to have more weight to them. If we promise something to ourselves or someone else and can't fulfil that where does that leave us? And prediction! Good old prediction. That really is a trap. The future cannot be predicted but when we think it can we create more weight in the present moment. But perhaps feeling fulfilled doesn't have to come from something we create in the future. What if fulfilment was now? What if it was an appreciation of everything which was now? Seeing a beautiful sunset, holding hands with a loved one or completing a task you have been putting off. I suspect you can even feel fulfilled by making a cup of tea if you want to. Imagine that fulfilment running through every part of your day. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, December 20, 2021
Inner Voice
What is your relationship with the voice in your head? Perhaps this question will help you consider that because you probably haven't thought about it before. I know I hadn't until recently. I guess that was because I thought it was the voice of truth! I didn't question it! I guess at that stage I was utterly dictated to by it! I believed what it said, I did what it instructed and I argued its corner! It pretty much ruled my life. But then I started to see that it didn't always have my best interest at heart. So I started trying to override it with all sorts of self-development like affirmations, hypnotherapy and The miracle morning. The list could take up the rest of the characters in this section. so I will stop now. But that ended up like painting the Forth Road Bridge (I will explain that in the podcast). Basically never ending! But then I started to understand the nature of that voice in my head. I realised that it was not me. And ever so gently my relationship with it began to change. Can you imagine if you just took that voice in your head less seriously? Then there would be freedom, calm, clarity and the antidote to self-development. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, December 17, 2021
Performance
What do you do to perform at your best? A morning routine, endless self-development or follow the gurus' tools and techniques. It seems there are lots we can do to perform at our best but here is something you may not have considered. Your perfection! I guess you probably don't look in that direction very much because we are not encouraged to do so are we? We are not encouraged to look inside and see what is really there; wisdom, calm and love. All inside you, all the time! You see, we are designed for performance but so many things get in the way of us seeing that. Well, one thing really - thought! And the more we look outside ourselves for the answer, the more noise there is and the less able we are to see what is really there. I would love you to see your perfection! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, December 16, 2021
Goals
Have you created any goals for next year? Perhaps you are just contemplating them at the moment. Thinking about what you would like to create in 2022. But here is a little truth to throw into the mix. You cannot predict the future. It is fun and exciting to create goals but holding them too tightly closes us down and stops us seeing the possibilities. But if we start from the present moment with an intention, so much can happen. Just by setting a direction of travel and seeing what unfolds we can live on purpose from the present moment. We can enjoy the journey rather than predicting it. And remember, if it looks like your wellbeing depends on life being a certain way in the future, it's worth knowing that life does not work that way. The future is a mystery, our future responses are a mystery and everything in the future is made up. So set those wonderful goals, but hold them lightly. You life really does not depend on it! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, December 15, 2021
Rules
Can you think of some of the rules you learnt as you were growing up? 'Don't touch flames, they will burn you!' and 'Don't walk in front of a car, it will hurt you.' The rules about the physical word we learnt when we were small, have stood us in good stead as we have gone through life. They have kept us safe. As those little sponges we were, that information went in and it stuck. The trouble is, that we learnt some less useful things when we were small. Things like you are stupid, not good enough or ugly. These things are not true but because they were being learnt at the same time as the useful stuff, they looked like they were of equal value. There are some helpful, practical things to learn about the physical world but this is not the same for the things we learn about the self. The things we learn about ourselves are made of someone else's thinking. They are NOT true! They are NOT the same as the rules about the physical world. And when we can start to see the quality of the thoughts we have about ourselves, we can more easily let them pass. It is possible for all of us to have a different relationship with the things which we think about ourselves. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, December 14, 2021
Habits
Have you ever tried to remove a habit? Perhaps you are contemplating that as we near the start of a new year. I spent a lot of time on habit change. I read all the books. Tiny habits, Atomic habits and The Power of Habit to name but a few! I did lots of therapy - hypnotherapy in the main and I tried affirmations, subliminal tracks and meditations. But then I learnt what a habit really is. It's just a bit of old, stuck thinking but not as stuck as you might think. You see, when you change your understanding of thought and start to take it less seriously, those habits start to fall away. That's what happened with my Saturday night chocolate thought. Habits are not as solid as you might think but if you would like to change a few next year, please get in touch. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, December 13, 2021
Crystal Ball
A crystal ball is place in which to gaze to see the future with the wise old woman sitting on the other side. You know the scene. If you haven't seen it in real life, you have seen it in films. We might be intrigued by the contents of the crystal ball but I think we would mostly take it with a pinch of salt. In that situation, we know the future cannot really be told. But we don't always see that truth, do we? When we engage with the contents of our internal crystal ball, it can look so real. We forget that the future is unknown - a real mystery. But here's a beautiful clue, your body will provide. It's that uncomfortable feeling - telling you that your thinking is off. Off feeling = off thinking. And all you need to do is spot it. And then the crystal ball inside your head simply rolls away. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, December 10, 2021
Out of the blue
Out of the blue is where all the best ideas come from. Not from racking your brains and puzzling things out. Have you noticed that? For me it's during a walk, in the shower or when I first wake up in the morning. When do you get your best ideas? I heard a survey of entrepreneurs once. They included the golf course and times when they were on holiday in their list of times when they had their best ideas. There is something true about all these situations. They are not times when we are thinking about our problems. It sounds counterintuitive when we have been brought up to solve problems and 'think about it'. But the thing about 'thinking about it' is that it can only ever be a process of going through old habitual thinking. This is not very helpful when you are looking for something to solve a problem which has probably been created by that old habitual thinking. The thing about all those situations is that they are spacious; they provide space in our heads and that is when intuition can burst through with answers and solutions we had never considered. If you would like to create more space inside your head so you can connect more deeply to intuition it would be lovely to talk. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, December 09, 2021
Venting
Do you like a good vent? Go on, fess up! Once upon a time, venting would have been my Olympic sport of choice. I used to get so riled up about other people's behaviour. I would vent at my nearest and dearest, my colleagues and anyone who would listen (I clearly didn't see their eyes rolling😂). It gave me a horrible feeling but I misunderstood where that was coming from. It felt like it was coming from the people or situations I was venting about but now I know that is wrong. Now I know the truth. Every single feeling I ever have is coming from thought in the moment. Thoughts and feelings are two sides of the same coin. When I vent, I am feeling my venting thinking, not the circumstances or person so suddenly it makes less sense to vent. It's tiring and feels bad and I don't want to do that to myself. If you are tired and feel bad more of the time than you want to, I can help. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, December 08, 2021
Human Nature
Human nature is defined as follows: the general psychological characteristics, feelings, and behavioural traits of humankind, regarded as shared by all humans. So what are those things which are shared by us all? Things which cannot be denied which are truths about humans. They may be tricky to see, but there are three things. As you hear them, I hope you will see that they are undeniably true. The first one is that we are alive or filled with aliveness. It's an energy like that which runs through all living things. The second is that we are conscious. We are aware of the world around us and inside us. The third is that we think. Thought in the moment is what creates our feelings. These are the principles via which all our psychological experience is created. But underneath that, there is something more; peace, love and wisdom. Confidence, resilience and wellbeing. Thought means that we don't always experience these things about ourselves, but they are always there. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, December 07, 2021
It was only a nightmare
It was only a nightmare is what we say when we wake up from a bad dream. We might be sweaty, our hearts might be beating fast and our thoughts might be racing. But knowing it is a nightmare makes that all fall away. It happens really fast and there is relief and a return to peace of mind. But isn't it strange that we don't treat our daymares in the same way? We don't wake up quite so easily. There is a difference in how our daytime thinking is perceived. So when we feel sweaty, shaky and our hearts race during the day we look for the source of that anywhere else but in thought. At night we know it's thought (a nightmare) but during the day, we don't know it is thought (a daymare). That really is the only difference, what we think our experience means. But nightmares and daymares are made of the same thing. Thought in the moment perceived by us as an uncomfortable feeling. Image waking up and realising that. Imagine the peace that would be possible. It's available to everyone. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, December 06, 2021
It could be ...
It could be was something I heard many times during my time in therapy. It could be this thing which happened in your childhood or that thing which happened when you were small or maybe this other thing you experienced a long time ago. I see now that it led to confusion. Literally poking around in the past in the hope that we would find something which sorted it all out. It was the 'could bes' which were creating the confusion. I knew there must be something simpler and there is! Principles of psychology! Something which works the same all the time for all humans. How much more simple does that make things? Well the truth is, for me it did, exponentially! Years of thinking I needed to meditate every day gone replaced by living in a state of meditation. Years of daily journaling gone replaced by an unshakeable feeling of gratitude. Years of thinking I was broken replaced by a deep connection to innate wellbeing. All because I know that the source of all my experience is 3 simple principles. And now I have seen them, I just have to share them. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, December 03, 2021
Discernment
Discernment is defined as the ability to judge well. I had an insight about this during a coaching conversation recently. You see, all day every day, we are in the process of discerning; working out the quality of what passes through our heads and sussing out which thoughts to follow and which to ignore. But there is often something in the way and that is the meaning we give our feelings. If we think that our feelings are telling us about the outside world then it looks like the thoughts that we need to change the outside world are true. If we think our feelings are telling us about something which is wrong with us, it looks like we have to engage in tools and techniques to fix ourselves. But when we realise that feelings are only ever telling us about the quality of our thoughts in the moment, we can use that information to discern better. Off feeling = off thinking. Quieter mind, better feeling = better thinking. I know you have seen this because you have not sent that angry text or left that cross email in drafts until you were in a better feeling (i.e. better thinking). It's because there has always been a part of you which understands how the system works. And the more deeply we understand that system, the more discerning we can become. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, December 02, 2021
Sleep
My sleep is interesting right now. In fact it probably has been for a while. This morning I woke up at 3am which seems to be when the ideas emerge. I have no idea why and I care less and less. You see, I have realised something about sleep. Just like everything else in life, it is not sleep (or lack of it) which creates my experience, it is always my thinking about sleep. So when I wake up there is less of a story about how I will not cope with the day, feel grotty and that my sleep means there is something wrong. I am just awake, resting in bed and nothing else. When I become aware of the stories, they make less sense than they used to and they seem less pressing. And then there is just me, doing life, moment to moment. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, December 01, 2021
Resolutions
Resolutions will be on our minds in just 1 month's time. Have you started to consider yours or have you stopped making them because you have realised that they don't work? Have you ever wondered why? Behaviour change can be hard even with all that willpower and steely determination. But that's because they both run out very quickly. Willpower is a finite resource so it's a bit unreliable as a tool for behaviour change. The way we behave is based on one simple thing and that is thinking which looks real to us in the moment. For example, if we think the world works outside in, we will be doing things in that world to make ourselves feel better. Things to protect the self, make the self feel better or create pleasure for the self. But when we start to see that the world works inside out, behaviour change happens automatically. The most effective behaviour change comes from insight (seeing) not willpower (doing). Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, November 30, 2021
Containers
Containers come in all shapes and sizes and they are often made to for certain objects. Packaging is a great example. Pringles fit perfectly into their cylindrical container but if you tried to get square Jacob's cream crackers in there there will be broken crackers everywhere. This is a beautiful metaphor for life because much of life is outside our control. If you didn't get this before March 2020, I suspect you get it now. We can moan, get upset and be furious but it will not change anything, E-V-E-R! Life will continue and you cannot control it but it turns out you don't need to. Because rallying against life comes from a place of innocent confusion that your feelings come from anywhere but thought in the moment. The mistaken idea that it is ever the outside world which is creating your feelings. It's just a misunderstanding but once you understand where your feelings are coming from, you really can be free. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, November 29, 2021
Spinning Plates
Spinning plates and juggling balls is a great metaphor for life when you are stressed because that's what it feels like. It looks like stopping will mean it will all come crashing down, probably taking you with it. But what really are those balls and plates and o they all really need to be in the air right now? It might seem hard to put some of them down especially if it looks like keeping them all up there will lead you to the promised land. Time with your family, weekends off and financial stability. But imagine if you just focused on one ball or one plate. The most important one right now. That would bring calm, presence and action and you could enjoy the journey right now. Imagine that! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, November 26, 2021
Crises!
Have you ever had to navigate a crisis or a real life emergency. Did you notice how amazing you were? In the moment, step by step, solving the problem. As Michael Neill says, that's your 'real time responsive intelligence'. It has often has nothing to do with thought. Your body moves, things happen and it's as if you are unconscious. There is something guiding you when danger is really present. Most of the crises we are addressing don't really exist other than in our heads but we cannot work out the future crises because they are made up. We don't work in the future because we can only respond to what really is. I guess what I am pointing to is, 'You got this!!' Well you've got whatever comes up anyway but maybe notice when you are trying to 'get it' before it is actually happening. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, November 25, 2021
Patterns
Have you noticed how many patterns we have? Patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviours. It can look like there is a lot to do to change them. Things like therapy, tools and techniques. Maybe it doesn't need to be that hard because have you noticed what happens when you notice a pattern without judgement, fear or a failure story? When we bring awareness to our patterns, they start to melt away like we have broken the spell. Like we have shone a light into a previously dark space. I needed some coaching to help me do this but once I started, so many of my patterns just melted away. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, November 24, 2021
Stories
We are telling stories all day every day. Stories about ourselves, other people and the future. We often don't notice which is utterly human. But when we do notice the story falls away and we see it for what it is. Then there is space and lightness and freedom. Those stories were never really yours anyway. They are made of thought which isn't really yours. Imagine if you could see through more of your stories? What would be possible then? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, November 23, 2021
Wrongification
Wrongification is a word I made up. It came to me as I commented on a post recently about whether or not we work on Sundays. I sometimes do but I sometimes take a nap on a Monday afternoon too. It's all okay because there's no right way to do life and by default there is no wrong way. But how often do we wrongify our lives and how much stress does that add? We are doing life our way then we perceive there is a different/ better way and we think we are wrong. What follows is a lot of thinking and possibly overthinking. We might try to stop something or start something. It may feel forced and uncomfortable. It all creates stress. Imagine if you stopped wrongification! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, November 22, 2021
Anger
Anger is a much maligned emotion. When we are young we might be discouraged from expressing it because it seems to be one of those 'wrong' feelings. Like anxiety, sadness and jealousy. Everyone seems happier when we express the 'right' emotions like happiness, love and gratitude. But anger is no different from any other emotion. It is an expression of the thinking which makes sense in the moment. In that way it is unavoidable. When we think that we are under attack or that our wellbeing is caught up in a situation or person, anger makes sense. If that thing/ person just stopped that, I will be okay is an easy misunderstanding to get caught up in and in the moment we always operate from what makes sense. Later we might see something else and regret the angry outburst but it helps to remember that we didn't know any better. When we realise that, compassion can follow and then calm and clarity and the space to make peace! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, November 19, 2021
Opinions
There are a lot of opinions about but have you noticed how you feel when someone expresses one different to yours? Angry, upset or superior? I notice this in myself often. It can look like the feeling we have is coming from that other person and their opinion but the words of another person cannot do that, E-V-E-R! When we feel that feeling, we are feeling our thinking about the opinion. That person is saying what makes sense to them which comes from their thinking and is unique to them. We have unique thinking too and do not see things the same. But your feeling is the guide. Off feeling = off thinking (yours not theirs). When we start to see this, we can have a different relationship with people and their opinions and there is more ease, calm and clarity. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, November 18, 2021
You are the canvas not the paint
You are the canvas not the paint is a beautiful metaphor which explains so much. The canvas is white, clean and pure. It almost seems to emit light just like the light that we are. Then the paint is applied and a picture is created. That can be full of joy and happiness or could be dark and horrifying. But no matter what is painted, the canvas remains in tact underneath. If we don't like the painting, we might try to cover it up by adding glitter and sparkly gems but in trying to regain the light of the canvas, we actually add more layers. The paint is thought! The glitter and sparkly gems are the thoughts about thought. It's all thought but the canvas is who we really are underneath all that. It is always there and when we see that, there is relief and as the layers of paint melt away we connect to calm once more. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, November 17, 2021
Fear!
There seems to be a lot of fear about right now. When we say, "I am afraid of ...", it looks so real and once that fear is in place it looks like there are things to do. Actions to take in the present moment to stop the fearful thing happening. But fear is a thief. It's a thief of the present moment, joy and gratitude. What there is right now is the only truth but when we we are stuck in our fearful thinking we are missing out on what is. We are missing out on the thing we are fearing loosing in the future. Fearful thinking is no different to any other thinking and when we start to take it less seriously we find that calm and clarity are always available. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, November 16, 2021
There's a difference between revealing and adding wellbeing.
There's a difference between revealing and adding wellbeing which is clear when you take a moment to think about it. Here's a helpful metaphor. Your car windscreen is clear and lets in light and when is gets dirty, you clean it then it lets in light again. The clarity of the glass and its ability to let in light never goes away. Imagine if we didn't remember that. We might try to bring the windscreen back to clarity by adding. Maybe another layer of glass, some shiny paper or some sparkly glitter. Whilst trying to get the sparkle back it would be getting further and further away. Can you see how that is for us? We are born whole and well and we develop a sense of self made of thought. Then we want to change that self (thought) so we add and add and add ... and get further away from wellbeing. All the resilience, confidence, calm, clarity and wisdom you ever need is inside you and always has been. It is only ever thought which stops you seeing that. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, November 15, 2021
The search for relief is always hiding the truth
The search for relief is always hiding the truth but that search is so persuasive isn't it? It's a human mission when we don't like how we feel seek relief. Some forms of relief are see as acceptable, like yoga, meditation and massage. Other forms of relief are not seen in such a positive light. Like alcohol, drugs and smoking. But they are all the same really. They are all an example of us trying to control our inner state with an outside strategy. They all come from innocent confusion about where our feelings come from. But the thing is they take us further away from seeing the truth. We are perfect, whole and well but thought comes in and hides that. Then we feel thought and try to change that. Can you see the layers of thought adding to the barrier which prevents us from seeing the truth; that we are perfect, whole and well. Ironic really! But when we start to see it, the whole fantasy starts to unravel. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, November 12, 2021
There's no way to stop feelings coming in
There's no way to stop feelings coming in even though it can look like there is. It looks like you can use tools and techniques, resolve the past or transcend the human experience. But that's not true and the impact of all that trying is actually to stop us seeing the truth. Because the truth is that every bit of calm and clarity you are seeking is already there inside you! It's the noise of all those things you are trying which is stopping you seeing that. TRUTH - humans feel every type of feeling. Always have done, always will. FALSE - you can stop that happening. Never have been able to, never will. And whilst you are trying to stop feelings, you are adding thinking and doing and going further and further away from calm. Once you become deeply aware of this, you will see the difference it makes. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, November 11, 2021
Thinking we have to do it all now.
Sometimes it looks like we have to do it all now and that creates an overwhelmed feeling. But here's how thought is the true source of that overwhelmed feeling. This week I have been creating a course but I have not created a course. No-one ever does actually. Let me explain. I have recorded some videos and uploaded them. I have created a landing page and done some other tasks. Even they can be broken down into creative steps. The idea for a video, pressing record then word by word coming out of my mouth. Moment by moment it is all unfolding. Perfectly unfolding. Can you see the difference? I am creating a course (looks huge) or I am taking the next step (looks possible) because it's not the task but how we perceive it which creates overwhelm. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, November 10, 2021
Perfectionism
I was plagued by perfectionism (I still am a bit really.). There's a sense of things I do needing to be perfect which can slow things down. I can stop me putting things out into the world. Maybe you can relate. But there's a much bigger elephant in the room. The places where I think other people are doing it wrong; where other people are not perfect. I'll be honest, when I am in the thick of this state of mind, I want them all to do it my way! The I feel frustrated, angry and tend to rant! But then I realised that I am creating stress and my thinking is causing frustration that's not good for me. So it makes sense to stop. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, November 09, 2021
There's a middle man involved!
There's a middle man involved sitting between what's out there and our experience of it. It really can look like our experience is pure. Something happens out there and we feel it inside us. That is the outside in paradigm and living in this place makes us victims. It makes us want to control and it can be the slippery slope to burnout. Just remembering there is a middle man which is thought in the moment or perspective, can be helpful. It is always there, creating our experience unseen by us. But every time we remember the middle man and acknowledge their presence there is a falling back home; to calm, clarity and presence. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, November 08, 2021
Remember that you get over it.
Have you noticed that you get over things every time. When you are in the thick of it you can forget really easily. It might be overwhelm, stress or that anxious feeling. When it's happening, forgetting that you get over it can make it worse. Because every single time, you reconnect to your inner wellbeing. That happens without fail. Your natural system is always taking you in that direction. You cannot stop it but you can get in the way a bit if you have forgotten. So maybe next time you are in the thick of it, just remembering that beautiful system working inside you might help. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, November 05, 2021
You are Not Broken
You are not broken, neither am I and neither is anyone else. I truly believe this now but I didn't used. I used to think, 'There are so many broken people. How can I help them?' So when a client sat in front of me I saw that they were broken and hen I spoke to them, I heard that they really thought that too. But then I saw the truth which is encapsulated in these words, 'You are not broken, you just think you are.' Because that's how it works. Once you believe you are broken, that becomes all you can see. That belief acts like a filter. You stop seeing your wisdom, your inner calm, your resilience and your confidence but they are still there. As your belief in your thoughts starts to weaken, you will see it more clearly and then you can reconnect to that which was always there anyway. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, November 04, 2021
Simplicity is powerful.
The power of simplicity is something I have seen more and more over the last 2 years. Of course, life got simpler in the outside world because there was less to do, places to visit and less stuff to buy. I really enjoyed this. But my seeing of the power of simplicity goes so much deeper than this. You see, I spent a long time searching for source of my feelings because I was looking to change them and I thought getting to the source would do that. I looked in the past mostly but in other places too but it all got so complicated. Every time I felt a feeling, there was all this searching but now there is only ever one answer. Every single feeling comes from thought in the moment. This brings simplicity, calm and clarity. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, November 03, 2021
Fear of the Unknown
Fear of the unknown seems to be a current issue which innocently creating suffering. I hear it expressed often particularly about the future. People say, "I am afraid of the unknown", but when we think about that word, unknown, what does it really mean? If something is unknown their is a space. But it is a space we innocently fill with what we think we already know. We fill it from our intellect, habitual thinking and old beliefs. That's what we are really afraid of. Not the unknown but the thoughts we put into that space. What really helps is to see you are doing that. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, November 02, 2021
Commitment
Commitment is a word which is used a lot in relationships, in business and in learning to name but a few. But here is different question about commitment. How committed are you to what you make up? I mean the things you make up about the future, the thoughts you imagine in other people's heads and even the beliefs you have about yourself. Have you noticed that they come with a feeling (it's not nice) and have you noticed that the more committed you become, the worse the feeling gets? The feeling is telling you that your thinking is off - that's all! More commitment to your off thinking = worse feeling. Once you see this, it simply melts away! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, November 01, 2021
I woke up feeling anxious!
I woke up feeling anxious! You know the feeling. Butterflies in the stomach, a general unease around the shoulders and a head which is a bit fuzzy. I started searching for why. Did I have a bad dream? What is going on today? What could be wrong with me? I noticed the feeling intensifying. Then I remembered. "You are feeling thought, Clare." Then I let go. "You don't need to know what the thinking is, Clare", then there was more calm. "You are okay with that feeling as it is, Clare." But, what I am sharing here is not a tool for you to use. That's what happens inside me when I remember that 100% of my feelings are created via thought in the moment. That's my little process but it might not be yours. But when you know with conviction that the only source of your feelings is thought in the moment, you will come up with something which makes sense to you in the moment. My way is not a prescription. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, October 29, 2021
Information creates that overwhelmed feeling.
Information from the outside creates that overwhelmed feeling. Information from the news, social media and other people's ideas. But also information about the inside like seeking the reason for feelings, trying to control our thoughts and searching for calm. All this information and trying to understand fills our heads and if we have a decision to make, it can really get in the way. Did you know that what is right for you is unique and your right next step is just for you. It is available to you when there is space and calm inside but when you look elsewhere, into the noise, you are using someone else's past to create your future. You have a light to shine and something to do in the world. Don't leave it buried under all that information. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, October 28, 2021
Lies, damn lies and the things we think about ourselves!
Lies, damn lies and the things we think about ourselves ordered perfectly from bad to worse and here's why. You see the things you think about yourself have literally nothing to do with you. They have been innocently created over time by other people like parents, teachers and other children. We don't need to explore this further as it's just something to know. It helps to distance yourself. You will sometimes have a thought about yourself like, 'I am not good enough.' and this as with all thoughts has some truths worth knowing. You did not create it, the origins of the thought are not you and the thought is not truth. Due to all the above, your thinking has literally no idea what you are capable of and that is why every single day, you do things your thinking said you couldn't. You do not have to change your thoughts but what does bring some calm is changing how you view thought itself. That is what is truly transformational. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, October 27, 2021
"I am not coping with this"
"I am not coping with this", said someone I was talking to a few days ago. I asked him a simple question, "How do you know you are not coping?" He paused and suddenly there was space. That question was asked in all innocence because I really did wonder how we know whether or not we are coping and what does coping even mean? It seems to me that your version of coping will be different to mine because it only exists on one place; inside our heads, in thought. What if you knew you were coping? What if you knew that you could be feeling literally anything but that underneath it all, you were still okay? That there was something magical pulling you through life no matter what. Because, have you noticed that you have always come out the other side. Perhaps with hindsight you have seen how you coped in the past which probably means that you are coping right now. I hope this helps you to see that. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, October 26, 2021
Control!
Control is an old friend of mine which is thankfully now hanging around a little less but we were close for a long time. Once upon a time, I tried to control E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G! It happened in two phases. In the run up to burnout it was people, circumstances and the future. Then whilst on the self-development hamster wheel it was my thoughts, feelings and behaviour. It was exhausting, laden with judgement and like a 24/7 game of wack-a-mole! Perhaps you can relate. If you are trying to control like I was it is feeding that feeling of overwhelm but it doesn't have to be that way. You can split up with control as soon as you are ready. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, October 25, 2021
Ahhhhh! The past ...
The past is so temptingly presented to us as the panacea of mental wellbeing. You are encouraged to work through your traumas, find the source of your behaviour and root out those unwanted feelings. I went down that path for many years but it just doesn't make sense any more. Because now I see the truth that human beings feel what they think in the moment. So, when we think about something bad in the past we feel it. It's a clever trick which makes it look like the past has harmed us but it really is all thought! Imagine if you stopped thinking about the past. You would never feel the past again. I know this is not always easy but just knowing this is how it works can be helpful. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, October 22, 2021
A thought appears, then what?
A thought appears, then what? Well ideally it passes right on through a bit like a cloud passing across the sky. Some of our thoughts do that don't they? They pass straight across our heads with ease. But you might have noticed that doesn't seem to happen with some thoughts. Those habitual ones; fearful ones about the future, the ones about what other people think of you and the guilty ones about the regretful past. There's just one reason why. It's because of the attention they get because, the amount of consciousness given to a thought is what gives it life. And that's what fuels those awful feelings like overwhelm, stress anxiety. There's nothing to DO but once you KNOW this is how things work it helps. Because it helps you to see that you have a choice. You are the thinker not the thoughts and you are only ever one awareness away from remembering that. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, October 21, 2021
Life is happening in the meantime.
Life is happening in the meantime. It is happening while you are making up a scary future, feeling guilty about the past or trying to work out why someone else did something. The present moment is always happening. You are breathing in the present, your body is in it and your senses are taking it in. But where are your thoughts? Just asking that question can help because the answer can help you to naturally fall into the present with ease! No need for techniques or tools. Just a question which brings awareness. Maybe just try it next time you feel off and let me know how that goes. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, October 20, 2021
Selective editing
Do you know that you are selectively editing all the time? The thing is that humans have a limited capacity to experience the world. Of the 11 million bits of information out there each second, we can only be conscious of about 50! So we have to filter or selectively edit and the filter with which we do that is thought. Our beliefs (which are just habitual thoughts) filter every single part of our experience all day every day. They create our experience of other people, circumstances and even ourselves. There is not much we can actually do about this but knowing we are doing it can be really helpful. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, October 19, 2021
If you think it's about you sound the alarm bell!
If you think it's about you sound the alarm bell because thinking it's about you is a warning that your thinking has gone into story mode. The lack of response to a message, the look on someone's face. or the behaviour of our nearest and dearest. None of this has anything to do with you. Everything emanating from another person is only to do with them. Their thinking, feelings and actions. But when we take it personally it can feel overwhelming. It's the combination of the apparent slight and feeling out of control but there is great power in just learning to listen to those warning signs. Something to become aware of, to notice and to take more lightly. Imagine the freedom of a life where you never took anything personally. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, October 18, 2021
From first impressions to that overwhelmed feeling.
From first impressions to that overwhelmed feeling can happen in a flash can't it! Often we don't even know we have done it because we don't notice that we have created a story. Stories like that look someone had on their face means they are thinking badly of us, that unanswered message means they don't like us anymore or that un-emptied bin means they are lazy and don't care. But it helps to know the truth that we are making it all up. Beyond the first thing we see, it's all a story. Just knowing can help, slow things down and prevent that overwhelmed feeling. Because, in the moment of realisation, it all just falls away. In the noticing there is freedom. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, October 15, 2021
You make a molehill out of a mountain.
"You make a molehill out of a mountain", is what was said to me at the end of a conversation yesterday. And I just love it because I think it really sums up what I do. It tells you how I help people. Where there is stress and overwhelm I help there to be more calm, clarity and simplicity. The opposite 'making a mountain out of a molehill' is what we, as humans are doing all day every day. We take a circumstance, a simple occurrence and we add THOUGHT! We make up stories, add in our past and manufacture the future and most of the time we have no idea we are doing it. But once you start to see you are doing that it magically stops. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, October 14, 2021
Living outside facts creates that overwhelmed feeling
Living in denial of facts creates that overwhelmed feeling because there are some facts about being human. They are truths - like those in science - like gravity. Imagine for a moment if you lived whilst denying gravity; stepping through broken things all day long. That would create that overwhelmed feeling whilst you tried to keep up with the cleaning and avoid cutting your feet on the shards of glass and crockery. Perhaps you can relate to that metaphor in terms of how you feel right now. Like you are continually trying to fix and tidy up your emotional state. But when you know these truths that can all stop. Imagine that! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, October 13, 2021
Presence or positivity - which is more important?
Presence or positivity? Which one do you think is more important? Positivity might look like the winner because it gets a really good press. But presence brings so much more. When we think positively about the future, we are just swapping one lie for another. Any thoughts about the future are lies. Presence is the closest to truth you will ever get. It's the place where your wisdom kicks in and from which you can take the next step forward. It's real! If you would like to feel more calm and think more clearly, presence is the key. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, October 12, 2021
Are you trying to be 100%
Are you trying to be 100% in how you are feeling or in your business or in your parenting? I think I tried to be 100% for a long time. That didn't turn out too well. Burn out was the result. It turns out that being 100% isn't really human and anyway how do we even decide when we are? That has to be created via thought doesn't it? A decided inside thing. Your 100% won't look like mine and my 100% won't look like the next person's. So our judgement of 100% must be made up. What if you saw that where you are now is 100% because you are doing your best, are perfect as you are and you are 100% of what is. You don't have to try and create something more. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, October 11, 2021
Would you like to be more like Dory?
Do you remember Dory from Finding Nemo? She is his little friend who helps him on his journey. The most significant thing about Dory is that she suffers from short-term memory loss but that is one of my favourite things about Dory. She turns up in every moment fresh and new with nothing on her mind. She has no preconceived ideas about herself or anyone else and I suspect it's no coincidence that she is very happy as a result. Dory doesn't have any thinking about the past and therefore doesn't feel anything from the past. No trauma, fear or guilt. As humans that's a little tricky because we do have thoughts about the past. But what if we didn't take them so seriously? What if we let them pass? Almost as if they hadn't happened like they don't for Dory. Doing that gets easy when you understand the nature of thought; random, transient and impersonal. Turns out being more like Dory can help you feel calm and think clearly. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, October 08, 2021
Would you like directions or instructions for the SAT NAV?
Would you like directions or instructions for the SAT NAV because I, like many others who want to help, could do either. I could tell you all the things I have done. All the tools and techniques I tried. How I went on my journey from burn out to Queen of Calm. But there's a really good chance, that won't help because that's my way and my job as a coach is not to tell you what to do. My job is to describe to you how life works. Because once you know that, navigating it just gets so much easier. You can use your GPS, connect to your intuition and access your wisdom. Then you can create your own unique, exciting new map because you don't want my dusty old one that I have scrawled all over. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, October 07, 2021
It's Impossible Not to Think
It's impossible not to think! I tried it for a while. Meditation seemed to be the way to do that. But those thoughts just kept popping in. Of course because we are supposed to think. You cannot stop that. The initial thought predictably turns up but there here are some things which can follow on from that first thought. Thinking about thinking, giving meaning to thoughts and feelings and the idea that you can have right and wrong thinking. Too much thinking I think :-) But when you understand better the nature of thought, that extra thinking can fall away. It is helpful to know that thought is random, that doesn't mean anything about you and that you are the thinker not the thoughts. Knowing these things helps to stop the analysis of thought. If you would like to stop analysing your thinking, please get in touch. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, October 06, 2021
Misunderstanding Feelings
I spent years misunderstanding my feelings. It went through 2 phases. The first phase looked like this. If I felt angry, I thought that was coming from the person who wronged me. If I felt happy, I thought that feeling was coming from a circumstance I had created. If I felt unmotivated, I thought that was coming from an uninspiring task. The second phase looked like this. If I felt angry, I thought that was because I had an anger issue. If I felt happy, I thought I had overcome my issues (temporarily). If I felt unmotivated, I thought it was because of something from my past. Both phases were complicated and tiring. Firstly as I tried to control the outside word then secondly as I tried to control my state of mind (mostly through therapy and looking into the past). But then I learnt a simple truth about feelings. Feelings come from thought in the moment 100% of the time. It's a principle, a fact, a truth. So now when I have a feeling, it's so simple. I know categorically that I am feeling thought in the moment. That simplicity in itself takes a weight off your mind. Less thought = more calm & more clarity. It's available to every one of us and coaching with me can ease you into seeing it. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, October 05, 2021
Let Me Show You Where Calm Isn't
Let me show you where calm isn't because then you will find it yourself. Because calm isn't in having some time to yourself, in the run you do every day or in the bar of chocolate or the glass of wine. It also isn't in the massage, the meditation or the walk. It isn't even in the yoga class! I know that's the time you feel it most but maybe you have touched it at other times. In a moment of crisis, perhaps. When you are truly present and just know what to do. You see, it is a trick of thought and consciousness which makes it look like calm is being brought to you from outside. Because in those moments above, you have less thought and just for a moment you connect to what is inside. And what is inside is calm which is always there and always waiting to be seen. That's what you are made of and just knowing it is always there is so reassuring. Now you can start to notice it. And if you would like to see it more, you know where I am. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, October 04, 2021
If We Could See Inside Each Other
If we could see inside each other have you ever thought about that we would see? I think we would see so much that is similar. Similar insecurities, thoughts and feelings. All with each person's unique flavour of course but similar all the same. I think that might be the most important thing we could learn. Because, in the seeing of that, there is calm. It means there is nothing wrong with the way we think or feel. Nothing wrong with us. Just that we are human too. And from that place, acceptance of ourselves comes so much easier. That is something I help my clients to see. It's something that they may have been seeking for a while. I help them to see that they are okay. Perfect, whole and well in fact. Imagine waking up every day with that on your mind? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, October 01, 2021
Noisily Searching to be Calm
Noisily searching to be calm was something I was doing that for a long time. It involved trying to control a lot. I tried to maintain a circumstances, make changes and repeating certain practises so I could be calm. But all that was done within a misunderstanding of how life works. Because, life is changeable and this world of form nothing is permanent. And if we don't get that, we are in constant a state of resistance. Maybe you are familiar with how that resistance feels. It certainly doesn't help you be calm. And the strange thing is, when we see this truth, accept how life works and stop fighting against the natural flow of changing form, we tend to naturally be calm more of the time. Understanding how life works is the key and I can help you see that with my gentle coaching conversations. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, September 30, 2021
You cannot argue with a drunk person
You cannot argue with a drunk person. I mean have you ever tried that. When I was a teacher, I quite often was the designated driver. That meant I was the sober one amongst many drunk people. Hysterical at points but very frustrating at others because have you ever tried to convince a drunk person of something they don't want to do or believe? It's nearly impossible. The thing is, when someone is upset, they are like that drunk person. When we are upset, we are caught up in thinking. That thinking looks real. Innocently we cannot think clearly. And if someone else is trying to make us change, we push back even more. Thought will pass on it's own if we give time and space. Obviously, if someone is a danger, then do what makes sense. But why not give it a try. Let things lie. Let the sober thoughts come in naturally. See what unfolds. If you would like to be calm in all your relationships, my coaching can help you to do that. Please get in touch for more calm and clarity in every aspect of your life. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, September 29, 2021
What are you making up?
'What are you making up?', is a question I used to ask when I was a headteacher :-) But as I ask it now, it is in a very different way. Because all day every day, we are all making things up. In fact, human beings have been making things up for years. Rooted in the need to make sense of things I suppose. Innocent of course. But when you make things up, have you noticed the feeling? For example, if you make up what someone else is thinking = off feeling. If you make up why someone else is doing something = off feeling. If you make up a scary future = off feeling. They all create an off feeling because all feelings are rooted in thought. Off thinking = off feeling. It's not the things you are making up, it's the thoughts themselves which are creating the feeling. You can relate to your feelings as a beautiful guide because when you feel off, your thinking is off. That's all there is to know. If you are tired of being full of off feelings, coaching with me can help. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, September 28, 2021
Beliefs
Beliefs, goodness do we have a lot of those. The ones about ourselves seem most believable. Surely I must know myself; know who I am and what I am capable of. Those beliefs impact on every aspect of our lives don't they? But what if they are not true? Because you start life without any beliefs and as you grow up you learn things about yourself. But none of those things are true. They form layers, like the layers of an onion. Some of those beliefs become a label perhaps diagnosed by someone else. We try to change our beliefs. Swap them for other ones. More layers to the onion. But they are all thought and they are all releasable. None of them are who you are. If you can see where your beliefs are holding you back and want that to end, please get in touch. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, September 27, 2021
Trying to Control Thoughts
Trying to control thoughts increases that overwhelmed feeling which is pretty much the opposite of what we are told isn't it? We are told to think positively, have grateful thoughts and think about fluffy bunnies (well maybe not that one). Have you noticed how much work that involves? Here's what I have seen around this. You have a negative thought, you judge it (and you) as wrong, you pull it back in to examine it and then you try to do something to change it. Result = more thoughts and more overwhelm. Here is a different way. You have a negative thought, you notice it and you realise it means nothing about you. Then IT PASSES and you get on with your life. Awareness is powerful when it is free from judgement and that is the easiest route to freedom from overwhelm. If you want to be free from overwhelm, please get in touch. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, September 24, 2021
Trying to Control Emotions
Are you trying to control your emotions? Have you noticed how hard that is? I tried to do that for a long time. I wanted to feel motivated and to stop procrastinating. I was told that was down to me. That I could change my mindset. Lots of tools and techniques were presented. I tried them all. Nothing really stuck. Because they were filling up my head with judgement, expectation and what I needed to do to fix myself. But I was just out of touch with my essence. It's your essence too. Calm, wisdom and love which is hidden by thought. Because the origin of our emotions is thought. Anything which allows thought to pass increases calm. Anything which adds thought in decreases calm. It's simpler than you might think. I can help you live in your true essence more of the time and take managing your emotions off your list of things to do. How about that? Imagine taking emotional management off you list? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, September 23, 2021
Trying to Get Off The Roller Coaster
Have you noticed that trying to get off the roller coaster of life increases overwhelm? But it can seem like that is something to attain, a life free from ups and downs. I have noticed this recently in my client conversations. The 'if only' of feeling calm all the time. The sense that there is somewhere to get to. The idea that life could be a straight line. Or even a straight line which is always ascending. But the truth about the human experience is that it's untidy, messy and it has highs and lows. We can accept this or feel the uncomfortable resistance to it. Overwhelm is made from overthinking. Resistance creates overthinking. Acceptance brings more calm and clarity. If you are overwhelmed right now, you experience little calm and you feel stressed out and close to burnout, get in touch clare@uniquejourney.co.uk Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, September 22, 2021
Addition Cannot Make You Calmer
Addition cannot make you calmer. Because where we see lack there is judgement. Judgement is thought. It is thought which takes you away from feeling calmer. It really is that simple. Being calm is your natural state. It's the addition of thought which stops you connecting to that. Less thought = calm. If you have been trying to feel calmer for a long time, you are finally in the right place. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, September 21, 2021
Truth
Confusion about truth creates that overwhelmed feeling. Because, have you considered what is really true? Your thoughts about the future? Your 'what ifs'? Your regrets about the past? None of those thoughts are true. And that overwhelmed feeling is coming from those untrue thoughts. The noise in your head. It's like running out of date software on your computer. It causes a problem. An uncomfortable feeling. That overwhelmed feeling. What is true right now is your breath, your clothes against your body and what you can see in front of you. Right now is true. As you see the untruth of the thoughts in your head, you naturally fall into a place of presence, calm and clarity. No tools, no techniques, no therapy, no changing thought; just a different relationship with them. If you would like more calm and clarity without all those tools and techniques, please reach out. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, September 20, 2021
Judgement is the Catalyst for That Overwhelmed Feeling
Can you imagine what there would be without judgement? Acceptance, calm and clarity. So can you notice where judgement is a catalyst for that overwhelmed feeling? Judgement of your behaviour of how you are feeling and of what you are thinking. It seems to me that at the route of all our suffering is judgement. Without it their would be so much space. There would be less of that overwhelmed feeling. Imagine the acceptance of every feeling, every thought and all behaviour. When you judge, you feel the judgemental thoughts, not the thing about you, you're judging. Once you know this, there is less of that overwhelmed feeling. If you would like more freedom from judgement and less overwhelm, then please reach out. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, September 17, 2021
Upset Thinking
When you listening to your upset, have you noticed what happens? You react to the world outside, to the people around you and to your own feelings. Quite often that can make things worse. I understand your confusion because it looks like the upset is coming from outside so it looks like sorting the outside will make you feel better. So getting angry, sending THAT message and saying what is on your mind all make sense. But that's like thinking the warning lights on your dashboard are coming from the car next to you. But have you noticed what happens when you are feeling good. Everything looks better, you respond, you settle situations and you have clarity. The thing is, your feelings are telling you just one thing. They are telling you about thought in the moment. Off feelings = off thinking. Once you really know this, it is transformational. If you would like to respond rather than react, please get in touch to talk. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, September 16, 2021
How Many Expectations Do You Have?
How many expectations do you have of yourself, your relationships and about the results of your actions. Can you see their contribution to that overwhelmed feeling? When things don't work out as expected there is something else on your mind. Disappointment, correction and a sense of loss. Imagine just for a moment having no expectations. Without those expectations there is less on your mind. Less of that overwhelmed feeling. Less in your head right now. Less disappointment in the future. And from that space ... so much is possible. If you would like more space in your head, less overwhelm and to feel calm & think clearly more of the time please book a FREE calm & clear hour on this link: https://calendly.com/uniquejourney/complimentary-calm-and-clear-hour Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, September 15, 2021
The Source of That Overwhelmed Feeling
The source of your overwhelmed feeling might look like your full inbox, your jam-packed diary or your crazy full home life. It might seem like it's having a lot to do. As I reflect on the run-up to my 2015 burnout, I would have previously cited all those things. My life was CRAZY!! (listen to find out why). Full to the brim is an understatement. But recently I saw something new about this. It was all driven by one thing and that thing was THOUGHT! My thoughts about my inbox, my thoughts that I had to have a jam-packed diary and my thoughts that I needed to control every aspect of my home life to name but a few. It was ALL THOUGHT! Thought drove it all! The thought I would feel good enough, the fearful thoughts about what might go wrong and the thoughts of being an imposter (in everything). I would love to know if you can relate. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, September 14, 2021
Being Consistent is Contributing to Your Overwhelmed Feeling.
There is a message out there that we are supposed to be consistent. In life, in business, in parenting etc etc We MUST be consistent. But we're not are we? We are human. Our inconsistency is part of what makes us human. Who made up this nonsense anyway. It's as crazy as saying that the UK weather should be consistent. And when we judge ourselves as not consistent enough our head fills with noise and that overwhelmed feeling surfaces! But when we stop making our perfect selves wrong there is space and from that space comes creativity and action. Turns out you don't have to make yourself wrong to do things! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, September 13, 2021
Positive Thinking Day
This episode was recorded on Positive Thinking Day. But I am here with some news! You DON'T have to think positively. You DON'T have to change your 'negative' thoughts for 'positive' ones. There is NOTHING wrong with you if you have a negative thought! Because here are some things you might have noticed about thought! You don't put it there! If you allow it to, it passes. You cannot change a thought. You can have anything turn up in your head and it means nothing. about you. Nothing! Nada! Zilch! Well not until you make it mean something anyway. You can be aware of thoughts ('negative' and 'positive') and they don't have to mean anything. Without the meaning and the judgement they just pass. You DON'T have to make yourself think positively. There is much more ease around changing your relationship with thought. If you would like to change your relationship with what passes through your head please reach out. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, September 10, 2021
Are You Trying to Transcend to Manage Stress?
This beautiful topic came up during a recent conversation with a client. As we talked about the experience he was trying to avoid, he said, 'I think I am trying to transcend my feelings'. I couldn't resist looking up the word ... and got this result. 'To go beyond or above the range of normal or physical human experience.' Word by word, phrase by phrase we unpicked it. We started with 'normal or physical human experience.' Surely if we are having an experience, it is normal. How can it not be if we are having it. Imagine if we saw all our experiences as normal. How much would that take off our minds? Even the space where the seekers of transcendence want to be is therefore part of the human experience. In the phrase, 'go beyond or above' there is sense of escaping, judging, measuring - all things which put more on our minds. The thing is, wherever you are seeking, trying to transcend, judging therefore the lack in your human experience there will be more on your mind! Your experience is perfect just as it is. You are perfect just as you are. Stay here and play. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, September 09, 2021
How Not to Manage Stress
How not to manage stress! Seems like a really strange title for a piece doesn't it? You are much more likely to see content about how to manage stress, relieve stress or feel less stressed. But here's the thing I have seen. Trying to manage stress can make you more stressed. All those tools and techniques. The things to do every day. The ones you do in the moment. It's a lot to think about! And that's the rub! Stress is created through thought so more thought = more stress. Understanding stress is much more helpful and this podcast can help you do that. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, September 07, 2021
Conditions
Conditions! How many of those do you have in place? Conditions for happiness. Conditions for calm. Conditions for action. There are so many of these at play in our lives. Most of the time we are unaware. But what if you did bring a little awareness to them. Notice where you are saying ... 'Once condition X is in place, I will experience Y' As I consider that, it feels so heavy. Like a huge burden of control. So much to do. But what if happiness, calm and action were condition-less? What if nothing ever had to be a certain way again. Just consider that freedom for a moment. And smile. Because it is possible once you know how things work. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, September 06, 2021
Decisions
Decisions! How many of those do you make each day? There will be some you don't even notice. But there will be some which appear huge. They fill your head! Is it this or that? Is it A or B? What shall I do? Have noticed that doesn't feel calm. But have you seen the opposite? You stop thinking about it. You get on with something else. Your mind clears. Then the answer appears Or the circumstances change. And it's all sorted out. Amazing how that works. And what if you knew that would happen. What if you never felt the unease of making a decision again. I can help you achieve that. Help you take that off your mind. Help you live more in flow. Let's have a conversation. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, September 03, 2021
Resilience
Resilience! That's a big topic. It's so big that if you search 'How to build resilience' on Google you get .... 206 000 000 results!! Yes!! Two hundred and six million!! Fancy ploughing your way through that lot? If you do that search and start reading you might see what I saw. The help being offered is based on a model of lack. That somehow we can lack resilience. That we need to add it in! But what if you turned that upside down. What if you knew resilience was always there. Set at 100% in each and every one of us. Right from birth. Now I am not saying you can always see it ... ... the power of thought sees to that! But it is always there. Like a rope round your middle pulling you through life. Wouldn't it be nice if you could see it all the time. I really can help you do that! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, September 02, 2021
Self-consciousness
Self-consciousness! I have been seeing something about this recently. Google says: 'Undue awareness of oneself, one's appearance, or one's actions.' And the part of this definition which stands out to me is 'undue'. Not to make this end up like an English lesson but here is the meaning of 'undue' - unwarranted or inappropriate because excessive or disproportionate. So self-consciousness could be defined as 'Self-consciousness! I have been seeing something about this recently. Google says: 'Undue awareness of oneself, one's appearance, or one's actions.' And the part of this definition which stands out to me is 'undue'. Not to make this end up like an English lesson but here is the meaning of 'undue' - unwarranted or inappropriate because excessive or disproportionate. So self-consciousness could be defined as 'excessive or disproportionate awareness of oneself.' And where does this start? Where does it come from? JUDGEMENT!! We are bound to have some level of awareness of how we are. That seems like a human thing to have. But when judgement gets involved, that thinking about ourselves goes into overdrive. If we accepted everything about ourselves, there would be less inclination to be self-conscious. If you want to be less self-conscious, please get in touch. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, September 01, 2021
Happiness
Happiness! That's a topic which is often discussed isn't it? Where does it come from? How do we get more of it? What does it even mean? When you contemplate your own happiness ... what do you see? The Google definition of happiness is 'a state of well-being and contentment.' It can often look like we have to create this state. By doing things in the outside world OR Doing things to ourselves. But what if we have got that backwards? What if well-being and contentment are our natural state? I truly believe this is the case. Our natural state is happiness ... And then there is thought. Thought stops us seeing our well-being sometimes. Perhaps you have noticed that in yourself ... When your mind is busy, you tend not to feel content. When you are quiet and present, well-being naturally emerges. Less doing Less seeking Less thought EQUALS More contentment More well-being More happiness If you want to experience more of your innate happiness get in touch. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, August 31, 2021
Enough
Enough! When I consider the word 'enough' it feels like a chasm. A hole which would be unfillable if we tried to fill it. It's impossible to measure what is enough. Maybe in fact everything is. Maybe everything is perfect just as it is. We can sit in a place of seeing that perfection. Or we can end up sitting in a place of seeing lack. The former feels light and free. A place of less on my mind. A space where the next thing to do will occur to me. Enough is impossible to measure. Who makes those rules anyway. Maybe you are ready to make your own rules!! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, August 27, 2021
Prescription
Prescription! I spent a long time searching for the right one. Thinking that there must be an answer out there. That thing that would make me 'better'. It seemed like there were so many wise people. They were wiser than me. They knew how to fix me. It was never ending. Some things worked for a while. Then they didn't. Some things didn't work at all. I blamed myself not the tool. I saw myself as unfixable. When would this end? I wonder right now if you can relate. Are you searching too? Looking for the prescription? It turned out in the end that I didn't need a PRESCRIPTION. What I needed was a DESCRIPTION. Once I understood where my feelings came from. Once I could see my own innate wellbeing ... It all fell away ... beautifully ... naturally ... easily It was my wisdom which got me there in the end NOT everyone else's. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Thu, August 26, 2021
Mistakes
Mistakes! It looks like we all make them but do we really? Here's a different take. In the moment when you do something it looks right! It is the best thing to do. In that moment there isn't anything else. That's the thinking which looks real. Later that can change. Oh dear! Turns out now, I don't like what I have done. A new perspective has emerged. New thinking looks real. Then the regret Then, 'I should have known better'. Then self-criticism. But the self you are criticising was doing their best. Can you see that? Can you bring compassion to how you see yourself? In any moment you are doing your best. We all are. If you would like to live without regret, you can make a start with a conversation with me. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, August 25, 2021
You can't do that!
You can't do that! Is that something you have heard before? Who said it first? A teacher A parent An older sibling That's not relevant as it happens Because they are not here now are they. But that voice in your head still is isn't it. The one which makes it look like they took away your confidence. They didn't though. It's still there. And you don't have to do too much to see it. You just have to stop taking that thought seriously. The 'You can't do that thought' Turns out your thinking doesn't know what you are capable of. Who knew eh?! Are there other thoughts you would like to take less seriously too? If you want to change your relationship with what passes through your head get in touch. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, August 24, 2021
Mental Health
Mental health! Are we really talking about it? It looks like we are. Wherever we look there are news articles, posts, memes, quotes. But just notice for a moment. Are we talking about mental health or mental illness. It's the latter I fear. We are looking deeply at mental illness. We are pointing people to mental illness. We are telling them what it looks like, how it feels, how to know they have it. Don't get me wrong, I see where this has a place. But how about if we pointed people to their mental health. That which is always inside them. Their inner calm, resilience and confidence. That which they were born with. How different would the conversations be then? I love to have conversations where I show people where they are mentally healthy. Nicer for them and nicer for me!! (Oh! And much more effective too) Fancy a conversation like this or know someone who might? Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, August 23, 2021
Feelings
Feelings! I spent ages trying to solve them! If my circumstances are x, I will feel y. If they stop doing a I will feel b. If I don't have c experience I will feel d. It was exhausting. But then I heard something new. There isn't a solution to a feeling. Just allow yourself to sit with that for a moment. Feelings do not have solutions. So everything we have based society on is a lie then! It certainly is! But in many ways that is a relief. Because in knowing the source of our feelings (thought in the moment by the way), something wonderful opens up to us. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Fri, August 20, 2021
Perception
Perception! Otherwise know as thought in the moment. It is creating our reality 100% of the time. There is a real world out there. There are real things happening inside me. But my experience of those comes to me through thought! And I begin to wonder; how much is real and how much is perception. And then I realise that I can never know that. But I can see the ease which comes from knowing that's how it works. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Wed, August 18, 2021
Compassion
Compassion! I think we need a little more of it right now. But here's a slightly different take on it. Compassion is part of self-care. Not self-compassion (although that is important too). Compassion for others is part of self-care. Let me explain! Have you noticed how you feel when you believe someone has wronged you. It's not nice is it? And it looks like it is coming from them. But it isn't. Your feelings come from thought in the moment not from other people and their behaviour. And when you feel compassion for other people this feeling falls away. You feel better. You do better. It's so much more simple than it looks. Suddenly someone's behaviour doesn't have to change for you to feel okay. Sounds like bliss to me! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Tue, August 17, 2021
Relationships
Relationships! There's a tricky topic if there ever was one! Recently I struggled to see how thought in the moment was creating my experience of someone I love. I thought, 'If they behave in x way, I will feel y.' You can imagine how that ended up. Not a huge row but some very silly bickering. You see, I hadn't seen this clearly ... Inside out works 100% of the time. It's a principle. It even works with other people (especially people who should know me well enough to not upset me - haha!) But it is super easy to miss. When we see it, our mind settles and we can see what to do next! Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Mon, August 16, 2021
Acceptance
Accepting virtually nothing in my life led to my burnout! I resisted! I fought! I controlled! I was living in an outside in paradigm. I thought my feelings came from the outside. It was flipping exhausting! You see, there's a reason why acceptance is part of the teachings of many spiritual understandings. It tends to feel quite nice. Coming from a place of observation of life happening with no resistance. Easier said than done though! There are many things in life we don't accept easily. That seems to me to be utterly human. But here's what I want to point to today. No matter where acceptance comes in, it is helpful in feeling calmer. We may accept our circumstances (that would be marvellous) Or we may accept our uncomfortable thoughts and feelings about our circumstances. Or we may accept that we don't accept how we are thinking or feeling. Seeing the layers of this can help you feel calmer. And once we accept, with a clear head, the next step forward will occur. If you would like to feel calmer more of the time, transformational coaching journey with me can really help you spend more time in the place of acceptance. Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
Sun, August 15, 2021
Welcome to the Calmcast
Welcome to The Calmcast. The Antidote to Self-Development. With Clare Downham - The Queen of Calm. If you recognise yourself in any part of my story, you are in the right place. After becoming so stressed and anxious that I pushed myself to burnout, I had to leave my 20 year career in education Then I embarked on a mission to ‘fix’ myself. I tried every tool and technique, I accessed therapy and I adopted a complex morning routine. And on top of that there were books, podcasts and courses. Fixing myself became a like part-time job and was pretty much always on my mind. I felt dissatisfied with myself and was stuck in a cycle of brokenness. Then I discovered something that meant I would never have to “fix” myself again . I uncovered my innate confidence , calm and clarity and finally fell into a place of self-acceptance . What I learnt and am still learning is what I share in The Calmcast! By listening to this podcast, I hope you get to uncover your innate calm, clarity and confidence and finally be able to accept yourself! Find out more about how I can help you please visit www.claredownham.com Get full access to From Surviving to Thriving at claredownham.substack.com/subscribe
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