Welcome To Patchwork
**Nominated for 'Best Comedy' at the Australian Podcast Awards 2018 & 2019** Have you ever wondered if it’s acceptable to bring food to someone's house and take it back home if no one has eaten it? Well if you have, then you’re in good company. Christian, Dion and Josh are Welcome to Patchwork: An Australian comedy podcast that thinks too hard about the monotony of life. By debating the obvious, challenging social conventions and improvising sketches, we're more concerned with the crumbs than the cookie.
S10 E5 · Tue, April 01, 2025
Patch #142 - Where Do Mice Sleep?
Christian’s car is on empty, Josh’s brain is on husk, and Dion thinks a mouse has a mortgage. Christian kicks things off by pushing his car well past the fuel light, trusting the mysterious dot-dot-dot to get him home. Josh prefers a more conservative two-thirds–full approach, and Dion shares his experience of running out of petrol almost within reach of the bowser. We compare our refuelling habits, quietly question each other’s life choices, and try to remember what side the fuel cap is on. Things then shift to mice. Dion’s convinced they have homes. Josh wonders where they go to sleep, and Christian’s interested in what spiders are doing with all their neatly wrapped flies. We also touch on skirting board secrets and psyllium husk. Finally, we introduce you to our very own large language model, PatchGPT. With very special guests Elon Husk and Snap Rat. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S10 E4 · Tue, March 18, 2025
Patch #141 - Do You Dread Waking Up In The Morning?
Dion has finally succumbed to caffeine dependency, and Christian and Josh interrogate his new addiction. What makes a good coffee order? Why does Dion refuse to learn the difference between a flat white and a cappuccino? Meanwhile, Christian grapples with existential dread every morning, and Josh suggests he simply “get in the shower.” We question whether professional athletes should thank water runners, why tennis demands silence while Formula 1 drivers scream for their lives, and whether football players ignore the national anthem to appear cool. Plus, Dion reveals a deeply unsettling secret about his morning alarm. -- Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S10 E3 · Tue, March 04, 2025
Patch #140 - How Much Pizza Should You Order?
In this Patch, we crown pizza as the best party food for a large group of people before trying to define some rules around quantity, presentation and flavour. Christian feels that hosts must announce the arrival of the pizza to the party, Dion reflects on the pathetic image of guests hovering around unopened pizza boxes and we collectively ask if any other food could act in pizza's place. Josh then recounts a supermarket stakeout involving a would-be Heineken slab thief, and we ponder the ethics of 'dobbing' as an adult. Do you really care about someone stealing from a large supermarket chain? Dion targets Josh for wearing two novelty items to the recording before Josh ponders his responsibilities as a 'tall person' in a crowd. Is there tall privilege? Are taller people really more attractive? Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S10 E2 · Mon, February 17, 2025
Patch #139 - Have You Ever Walked Away From A Queue?
Dion and Christian argue over whether someone can feel proud of arriving to a location on time. Josh tries to share a frustrating experience of being stuck in a queue that wasn't moving at the Australian Open but neither Dion or Christian can understand what he's saying. After some translating, we discuss the circumstances that might make someone leave a queue early and whether those circumstances change when waiting in a phone queue. Finally, Dion asks Josh and Christian to really consider whether the Imperial system is superior to the Metric system and we decide on which unit of measurement we would take with us to a desert island. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S10 E1 · Tue, February 04, 2025
Patch #138 - Do You Have Unreasonably High Expectations?
We're back with Season 10! Misdelivered packages, passive-aggressive laundry, and the correct way to clean a percolator. This week Dion's Rooibos Challenge for a Fridge Friend takes a turn for the ethically ambiguous. Josh reveals the depths of his percolator cleanliness standards, and Dion confronts Christian on his plan to install roller shutters and 24/7 security cameras in his new home. Are they a symbol of suburban bliss or too Italian? Plus, a typically spirited debate on the concept of "normal wear and tear". Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E15 · Tue, December 17, 2024
Patch #137 - Should You Mow Your Neighbour's Nature Strip?
After 27 weeks, 3 additional kilos and no ageing, Dion is back in the Patchwork Studio! He tells us some brothy stories of his culinary experiences and recalls an awkwardly silent breakfast experience at a hostel. We then discuss what factors make for a positive hostel experience - is atmosphere or cleanliness more important? Does that answer change if some of the other guests absolutely stink? Christian gets frustrated at the volume of zippers and we try to invent a better closing mechanism for luggage. We then wonder, why do we find nature beautiful? Christian then asks Dion and Josh whether we are obliged to mow our neighbours' nature strips? Is it an act of aggression to only mow up to the boundary of your property? Is it strange to buy gifts for your neighbours when you move into a new property? Dion proposes a borderless society where we can freely wander into each other's homes and Josh recalls an angry anti whipper snipping neighbour. Finally, we practice being assertive. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E14 · Tue, December 03, 2024
Patch #136 - Do You Read The Other Messages In A Farewell Card?
After countless people telling him to get one, Christian has finally purchased an air fryer and won't shut up about it! But what really is an air fryer? Is it just small oven? Is small oven better cook reddit? As the discussion develops, both Christian and Josh lose the ability to form full sentences but manage to discuss the research and development behind air fryer pre configured modes. For your main course, how much do you give a coworker departing a workplace? Josh poses this question to Christian after being faced with a similar conundrum at work. Would it change your mind if the recipient didn't know how much money you were giving? Do you even need to give them a gift? And while we're at it, when signing a farewell card, do you read what other people have written? Would you let AI write the message for you? Josh and Christian then cover off the minutiae of signing a farewell card from length and angle to location. Finally, we debate whether to write a message above and below the template text on the right hand side of a birthday card. -- Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E13 · Tue, November 19, 2024
Patch #135 - Are You Good At Napping?
After another lengthy break, Josh and Christian are back in the WTP studio and the first thing they can think to talk about is how podcast consumption aint what it used to be. It's all content, content, content these days! Maybe if we posted a little more regularly, we would actually have some content to turn into clips. Christian kicks off the 'content' by recalling a recent interaction with a colleague/friend of Josh's who claimed that she was 'good at napping'. Christian was stunned. Isn't napping something that needs to happen organically and without planning? Is there a way to hack the system and seamlessly insert a nap into your day? Josh has a few strategies to help Christian nap better including arm placement and a reason to wake up. The conversation works it's way to Christian and Josh laying out the blueprints for a new room designed entirely for to streamline your pre-bed routine and, victims of volcanoes. Christian then asks Josh for advice on how to handle the situation when you've sent a voice note to a friend and they chose to call you instead of listening to it. Josh declares the voice note required listening! As the victim of this egregious act, can you choose to avoid repeating yourself and tell them to listen to the voice note? Could we turn voice notes into clippable CONTENT ? Finally, do you fake enthusiasm in your messages? Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E12 · Tue, September 03, 2024
Patch #134 - Can You Handle Silence In Conversations?
We have wiped away the emotional cobwebs of the Depression Sessions and are ready for a little more unstructured fun. Christian picks up on Josh's brute force attempt to bring colour to the podcast before we both become self-conscious of our most overused phrases. We quickly move onto discussing workplace attire and some of the characters in our workplaces. Is there anything wrong with wearing an oodie to work? Is wearing a suit antiquated? Christian reflects on the clever parenting technique his Mum employed to make him do a law degree while Josh reckons with how casually he has adjusted to an increase in spending to match his salary. We then grapple with the unfortunate reality that some people make more money than others despite their jobs having very little utility to the world. We then change topic to a conversation about changing topics. Josh tells Christian about an attempted hard steer topic change at a recent party. Did he need a proper segue between topics or can Josh just launch into what he wanted to talk about? Christian reveals that he's always got a conversation "up the barrel" before he and Josh talk about whether they struggle to deal with silences in conversations. Josh then tells Christian about a new friend who carries a Rubik's Cube and we discuss people who become incredibly good at one thing. Finally, we agree that the best way to waste time is playing silly games with friends. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork . Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E11 · Tue, August 20, 2024
Patch #133 - The Depression Sessions (Frankly Mr Chatly)
On a cold Monday night in August 2024, tired from just existing, Josh and Christian decided to record Patch 133, "The Depression Sessions" aka Frankly Mr Chatly. For any first time listeners, this is not the Patch for you. Christian and Josh reflect on winter and the sadness of realising that you're already half way through the year. Christian and Josh then exchange some stories from a night out the week before; Christian looks like a little boy, Josh accidentally made a back zipper on his costume's pants. After a rubbish day, how do you self soothe? Do you get cosy like Josh? Do you need to numb your brain like Christian? Christian and Josh discuss ASMR, weighted blankets and keeping your mind distracted. Christian then asks Josh whether there's a healthy level of overthinking? How do you handle overthinking? Are you a good communicator? We then throw down some real introspection about our capacity to communicate with those around us. We also ask, what are your tools for falling asleep? Finally, we get really depressed over the bottomless pit of online content. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E10 · Tue, August 06, 2024
Patch #132 - Is Your Fridge Overflowing With Half Filled Jars? ft. Nelson Allingham
Christian and Josh are joined in the Patchwork studio by the handsome and hilarious Nelson Allingham, host of the Read It On Reddit podcast. Christian welcomes Nelson by confessing that he often passively listens to his podcast while completing chores before tragically revealing that he prematurely retired one of his jumpers from rotation by wearing it to bed. Nelson sympathises and offers a compromise of sleeping with no clothes but believes one of the tell tale signs of a sleep top, is the neckline. Josh reflects on waking himself up while sleep talking; Nelson sleep barks. Christian then opens up to Josh and Nelson about having a fridge full of half filled jars of different sauces, pastes and whatnots. How do you prevent this from happening? Should you use the entire contents of the jar every time a new one is opened, like Nelson and Josh? Or do you wait for the mercy of mould before you throw the jar out? Josh gives us the lowdown on the sharehouse experience while Christian sings the praises of baby food. We then discuss whether particular foods have greater rights over freezer space than others? Bread or salmon? Finally, Nelson offers up a fresh take on how to save space in the fridge - the King's Cup. After a particularly bad experience, Nelson asks Christian and Josh for help identifying the circumstances in which you can ignore a friend of a friend you see walking down the street. Does it matter whether you're having a bad day? Do you need to at least head nod? What if you can't think of anything to chat to them about? What if you don't want to get locked into a long chat? After walking us through his bad experience of being ignored, Nelson finally reveals that the 'friend of a friend' is in fact one of our own. With very special guests "Mad Lifts" and "Copy Cat" (Frank Walker from National Tiles). You can hear more of Nelson by listening to his podcast, Read It on Reddit. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E9 · Tue, July 23, 2024
Patching Up With Dion in Japan
While they were busy lining up the next Patchwork guest host, Christian and Josh decided to kill two birds with one stone and turned their long overdue catch up with Dion into content for the podcast. Through the miracle of "internet", Dion joins Christian and Josh in the studio to talk through some highlights from his trip including visiting an active volcano, repelling black bears with a bell, buffet breakfasts, why Josh loves processes, making nitpicky friends while overseas, the etiquette of bowing, Japanese electronic stores, Samsung Bidets, and Dion nailing his social media presence. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E8 · Tue, July 09, 2024
Patch #131 - Where Does A Used Teaspoon Go? ft. Nat Harris
Christian and Josh are joined by the supremely talented comedian Nat Harris for Patch 131! Nat is about to perform a replay of her Melbourne International Comedy Festival show "Lathered" at Comedy Republic on Tuesday July 16. Purchase tickets through the Comedy Republic website! We kick off the episode by fighting about who has a better 'natural' reading voice before Nat reveals that she bleeds from the eyes and gums due to a stigmatism. Hot start alert! Christian expresses his dislike for people who engage in loud activities on the other end of the phone, Nat opens up about her tendency to speak to herself and Josh takes aim at people who type while they're talking to you. Josh then considers whether his home teaspoon policy (leaving it turned upside down on the edge of the sink) can translate into the office. Will his colleagues scratch their neck with his spoon? Nat struggles with using a single teaspoon across different substances and Christian breaks down over an oily teaspoon in soapy water and suggests Josh invent a half spoon half pen. We also ask what you do after spilling a few drops of coffee or tea on the floor? Nat closes out the Patch by telling us about a very important recent purchase of hers, fabric softener. Christian remembers sniffing a great smelling teacher, we agree that Napisan is a trusted brand, Josh spruiks Hegs Pegs and Nat asks whether we put folded clothes away immediately. With very special guests "Previously on Lathered with Pussy Willow" and "Nursery Rhymes". You can hear more Nat every weekday morning in Melbourne by tuning into Breakfasters on Triple R or listening online via https://www.rrr.org.au/ Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E7 · Tue, June 25, 2024
Patch #130 - Do You Make Offers You Can't Keep? ft. Michael Campbell
Michael "Cambo" Campbell of Cancelled Movie Report and Read It On Reddit joins Josh and Christian and is immediately attached for his nickname and the silent "p" in his surname. Don't we treat our guests well! Christian kicks off proceedings by asking Cambo and Josh what they would do if someone asked to grant them access to a building that required fob access. Would you let them in and then assume they were up to no good? Or do you, like Cambo, "run a loose fob ship"? Should you track their movement and alert front desk of an intruder? Finally, we marvel at the next generation tech available today at Woolworths! Josh tells us about a time he followed up on an offer for tickets to see Dune 2 but was met with silence. What obligation do we have to honour the offers we have made to people? Is there a statute of limitations on offers? Does it matter if the offer is vague? Can you be upfront with the person who originally offered you the favour? Cambo tells us about his "full house" of family and friends that work a trade while Christian laments the prevalence of "empty offers" in today's society. Finally, Cambo takes us through a recent 'near miss' with Rob Schneider and then asks how best to react when a person you're gossiping about is, to your surprise, within earshot of the conversation. Do you confront them? Is there a way to know how much they heard? Christian discloses that he's constantly checking his phone whenever engaging in gossip, Josh dwells on the PTSD of forgetting a close friend's name and Cambo lets us in on his secret system for remembering a distant family member's name. With very special guests Never Scene It and Time To Think. You can hear more Cambo via his incredible podcasts, Cancelled Movie Report and Read It on Reddit . Find them on all podcast apps! Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E6 · Tue, June 11, 2024
Patch #129 - What's Your Approach To Taking A Sick Day? ft. Laura Dunemann
While Dion is away, the cats will play! And these cats have decided to invite veteran of the comedy scene and Patchwork's first ever repeat guest co-host, Laura Dunemann, onto the podcast! We kick off Patch 129 by making Christian feel more self conscious about his most recent Uniqlo purchase, an Arctic white turtleneck jumper. He's a Christmas rom-com cameo, he's exploring the Polar ice-caps and he's a villainous tech billionaire. Laura, married and mother of 1, discloses that when her husband is travelling for work and she is interacting with other parents solo, she can't help but feel as though she is being perceived as a flirt. How do you flirt? Is it always flirty when you're interacting with a parent of the opposite sex? Josh and Laura give us a great example of 'awkward flirting on a podcast'. Christian realises his flirting is simply the way he wants to be flirted with and Josh likes to flirt with his eyes. What's the difference between flirting and cracking on? Do you label your significant other as your partner? Girlfriend/boyfriend? De facto? Christian asks Josh and Laura what their approach is to taking a day off work. Are you like Christian and overthink your excuse to the point of needing to lie or are you more like Laura and remain vague and upfront? Do you actually need to give an excuse? Josh reflects on the moment of clarity that comes with deciding to take a day off and Laura spruiks asking from the night before and we bow down to the ultimate sick day excuse, children. Speaking of children, what was the best excuse for taking a day off in primary school? Did we have much more than tummy pains? For Josh, it was a weird masochistic urge to break his arm. Josh asks Christian and Laura when it's acceptable to send a "I had a great night" message to a friend you've just caught up with. Is it more appropriate for a group chat or a 1 on 1? Do you need to respond to that message? Laura puts her foot down and sends Christian and Josh back to the stone age by illustrating how primitive their behaviour is. Is there a distinction between being excited or surprised by friendship? Does the frequency with which you see that person impact the follow up message? When do you cross the line from genuine connection to stinking of desperation? We then close off the chat by auditing our phone contacts. With very special guest Copy Cat (Barenaked Ladies, "It's Been"). Also, it's Groundhog Day and this time, Dion is going away! We're going to miss him SO MUCH but Season 9 of Patchwork will continue with Josh and Christian and special guests. Have the best trip Dion, we'll see you on the other side! Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every o
Tue, May 21, 2024
Patreon Bonus - Do You Wear Shoes Around The House?
Surprise, main feed Patchworkers! Get a taste of what the Patreon subscribers are receiving every fortnight with this weeks Bonus Patch. Join for as little as $2 a month to support the show and guarantee yourself some Patchwork every week. Jump onto patreon.com/welcometopatchwork In this Bonus Patch, Josh kicks off by asking Dion and Christian what's going on their feet first thing in the morning. Are you wearing shoes? Just socks? Barefeet? Does the weather impact your decision? Josh talks us through his decision to 'save up' his explorer socks, Christian takes issue with Josh's new heated blanket strategy and Dion asks what item of clothing makes you feel the least like you're at work. We also discuss animal wools and Christian isn't happy! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E5 · Tue, May 14, 2024
Patch #128 - What Are the Signs You've Overstayed Your Welcome?
This Patch starts with Josh expressing concern over his own reaction to a message chain in the Patchwork thread. Christian and Dion can't hold back their pride for a Josh looking to grow and learn. We scratch the surface of Josh's brain and try to understand whether it's to react with frustration to a text message that is checking up on you. Is it harder than ever to interact with friends via messaging? Why do we read so much into EVERYTHING?! Dion then beautifully pronounces charcuterie before telling Christian and Josh about an unfunny work colleague that he couldn't find the energy to fake laugh with. Do you go out of your way to support someone who has made a bad joke? How do you do that? Christian reflects on the feeling of validation that comes with a true back and forth but then recalls the feeling of disappointment that comes with a "yeah yeah yeah" response. Josh talks about the half-laugh walk off and Christian explores the classic next door neighbour walking away response by telling us about his chatter-box landlord. For the second week in a row, fluff strikes the Patchwork studio and Dion searches for a new word or phrase that instantly wraps up a conversation. We then discuss the elderly and their capacity to sit with their thoughts and stare - are we jealous or do we think they're nuts? Should their be something that is occupying them? Christian hosted dinner and drinks and the final guest stayed for an extra hour after the other guests had left. Have they overstayed their welcome? Do different guests have maximum time allowances? How long should a pop in last? Does the nature of the event impact how long you should be hanging around? If you go to someone's place to watch a movie, do you leave immediately after? Do you have duties to say hello to everyone in the house if you're popping in? With very special guest Soundcheck (Billionaires) and Really Good. Also, it's Groundhog Day and this time, Dion is going away! We're going to miss him SO MUCH but Season 9 of Patchwork will continue with Josh and Christian and special guests. Have the best trip Dion, we'll see you on the other side! Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E4 · Tue, April 30, 2024
Patch #127 - Is A Sniff More Annoying Than A Cough?
Christian is sick! He's sick and selfish. He begins the Patch by telling Josh and Dion about the poor decision he made to ride public transport while sick and the consequent pressure of having to 'cover up' his illness. After some light berating, we get to the heart of the matter, which is more annoying, a sniff? Or a cough? And what makes it annoying? The frequency? The sound? And do we dare discuss sneezing? We then reminisce on being judged if you ever blew your nose loudly as a child. Josh recalls needing to send some event details on to his partner and asks Dion and Christian whether they are "screenshotters" or "copy pasters" when it comes to forwarding on event details? Josh treats the original message as a first draft, Christian choses to summarise in his own words, Dion crops and highlights. Out of nowhere, Dion decides he is finally picking a bone with Josh over how he shares the edited Patchwork episodes to him and Christian. We also discuss the stigma around leaving group chats. To wrap the episode up, Josh asks whether he it is acceptable for him to serve guests lower quality beverages than what he has served himself? With very special guest Oh Wow! and a new game, MetaFORE! Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E3 · Tue, April 16, 2024
Patch #126 - Are You Ever Obliged To Give Up A Parking Spot?
Christian found a fantastic parking spot opposite the church at his nephew’s christening but isn’t sure whether the spot should be reserved for immediate family. Dion quickly finds a parallel to another moment Christian found a premium parking spot on the day of his auction. Does the finders keepers rule apply to parking spots? Or should you be considerate of those who may need to spot more than you? We then ponder, why do humans refrain from stealing those enormous mounds of gravel and mulch dumped in driveways? Dion reveals that he may be a mulch thief while Josh can’t help but equate driveway mounds with takeaway fish and chips. Can you take clippings of a neighbours rosemary bush? Do you feel safe leaving items outside your home unattended? Why aren’t we more concerned about mail theft? Is it because of all the dead snails in everyone’s mailbox? Should we have more faith in our community? Finally, Josh reflects on a recent temporary toilet experience and asks Dion and Christian what their ultimate setup would be. Dion reveals that after walking into a temporary toilet, he goes in for a big little sniff while Christian fawns over a tap that provides constant flow via a foot pump mechanism. We also discuss, when do you feel rushed in the toilet and Patchwork’s first ever trigger warning. With very special guest Really Good and a naughty old man Dion goes to the library Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E2 · Tue, April 02, 2024
Patch #125 - Do You Confidently Slice Food In Half?
Christian has finally found the elderly neighbours he’s been looking for and, typically, they came in the form of a bowl of tomatoes. Dion questions the neighbours' motives and warns Christian by recounting the parable of his neighbour in sheep’s clothing. We then chat about rubbish collection and Josh laments finding a mystery coffee cup at the bottom of your freshly emptied bin. Are you confident when cutting food in half? Are you worried about the dreaded ‘bigger half’? Does a muffin deserve better than Dion ripping it in half like a maddened primate? Josh falls on his sword and will always let his partner take the half they want while Christian proclaims that we’ve given individuals too much power to control the size of their slices. Dion wants to know, how an orange should be cut and we discuss the fundamentals of sharing. Dion then asks us to ponder the age old question, what is a businessman? We dissect the words ‘cofounder’ and ‘entrepreneur’ and make fun of Josh for his pronunciation of the words. Stocks, briefcase, suit, computer - are these businessman? If the briefcase is flat, where does the lunch go? And why do people still wear a suit to work? With very special guests "Scrolling Through Time" and "Patchword Of The Day" Follow us on Instagram , YouTube , TikTok , Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S9 E1 · Tue, March 19, 2024
Patch #124 - How Should You Subtly Glance At Someone?
Ohhhhh wow! We're back from 7 months off and we're out of practice. We kick off by recalling a micro highlight from our trips abroad: Christian visited a Christian themed amusement park, Dion visited a capybara themed amusement park for ducks and Josh watched a man interact with natural history. Christian starts the episode proper by lamenting his ability to casually organise an event. Are you someone who can casually put together an event and be fine not knowing who is coming and when? If an invite says, "get there anytime from 4pm", what arrival time would be considered late? Should you ask your 'core group' to arrive earliest? We then celebrate 'Regrets Only' invites. Josh then asks Christian and Dion for the techniques they employ to subtly glance at someone else. Dion admits that he struggles to find people using clock face directions - "your 5 o'clock" while Christian worries about a quick turn around resulting in a punch in the face. We then plan out the best ways to guide another person as they attempt a subtle glance and how to avoid being caught. As per Welcome to Patchwork, we then quickly touch on our greatest insecurities... no problem. Finally, Dion discloses the average number of photos taken per day on his trip and we go on to discuss the utility of holiday photography. Do we actually need to take photos on our trips given ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE AND SAID AND THERE IS NO POINT EXISTING ANYMORE? Also... how good is a candid shot? We also play Sound Check and Time to Think. Follow us on Instagram , YouTube , TikTok , Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, August 01, 2023
Goodbye...for now
Dearest Patchworkers, we're taking a bit of a break. Christian is doing some extended travel so there won't be regular releases for pretty much the rest of the year. We can't thank you enough for your support over the last 6 years. Looking forward to being back in your favourite podcatcher sometime again in the future. But for the moment, it's goodbye. Big hugs and three loud kisses oxxx Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S8 E10 · Tue, July 18, 2023
Patch #123 - How Should You Kill Time At A Chemist?
Christian receives a mysterious hand gesture from a concerned citizen but manages to decipher it. We also ponder the age old question - what's the difference between 'tips' and 'advice'? Christian's psych definitely got it wrong when asked about travel tips. This conversation devolves into Christian and Dion bullying Josh for having the audacity to talk to his friends about things that he is passionate about. Dion tells us his strategies for picking an aisle when he needs to traverse through the chemist. We also discuss what we love to browse in the pharmacy while waiting for our script. With very special guests "Scrolling Through Time" and "Sound Check" This will be the last full episode of Welcome to Patchwork for quite some time. We've got a little clip for you coming next week, with details. It's been real. Follow us on Instagram , YouTube , TikTok , Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S8 E9 · Tue, July 04, 2023
Patch #122 - Is It Rude To Text Someone During A Speech?
Christian questions whether Josh can sell his abandoned basketball for profit. He's simply a man looking for answers. Josh's comedy group Game Boys won a freakin Green Room Award ! So we discuss what genuine surprises we still have in life and if it's rude to send messages and be on social media during a speech. Finally Christian tells the longwided story of an old man bumping him on the train. Do we give elderly people too much of a pass these days? Both Josh and Dion also have some tales of people being unaware of others personal space. We also play Copy Cat and Time to Think. Follow us on Instagram , YouTube , TikTok , Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S8 E8 · Tue, June 20, 2023
Patch #121 - Are You Easily Embarrassed In Public?
Christian and Josh open this episode with a rather frank discussion about the many hairstyles of the artist P!NK. We explore the unspoken bravery of dying her hair blonde and her notoriety in Australia. Christian then finds a subtle way to tell Josh he's balding and shouldn't colour his hair. Josh then tells us about his new job delivering groceries and the torture of having to relearn how to drive a manual (Emmanuel). Do you judge people who struggle to park? Are you an anxious driver? Is Josh learning to self soothe? Christian recalls an embarrassing moment at work where he forgot a colleagues name. Do you get anxious when you need to introduce two people? How do you handle embarrassing public situations? Do you make a big deal about it or do you ignore it entirely? Dion then engages in a little wasp chat. Finally, Dion asks Josh and Christian whether they have specific ways to wash certain dishes and it leads on to a constructive chat around the virtual Patchwork kitchen sink. We also play Horrorscopes and Never Scene It Follow us on Instagram , YouTube , TikTok , Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S8 E7 · Tue, June 06, 2023
Patch #120 - Do You Shake Hands With Friends?
Josh hosted another party and this time he's taking aim at those partygoers who take other people's drinks. Is it expected that the host will supply drinks? Should you be precious about the drinks you bring to a party? Dion then asks Christian and Josh for the right context in which a handshake is the right greeting? Is there a more appropriate embrace for a friend? Do you feel comfortable hugging a stranger? We then ask the big question, why do we need the shake in handshake? Christian then recalls a time he observed a lady taking a selfie for over half an hour and asks Josh and Dion, when do you take selfies? We also play The Rooibos Challenge and Really Good Follow us on Instagram , YouTube , TikTok , Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S8 E6 · Tue, May 23, 2023
Patch #119 - Should You Wait For Others Before Eating?
We’re back, again! Jeez, we spend a lot time not recording this podcast. Anyway, you get what you’re given. If you want more, become a Patreon! This Patch opens with Dion telling us about his recent trip to Texas and a close call with a tornado. We then discuss people who think they’re cool for not liking nature and using TikTok to follow live events. Christian then recalls a time that he went for dinner with a couple of friends who refused to start eating until his meal arrived. Is this considered polite? Should you prioritise letting your food go cold above everyone starting to eat at the same time? Can you at least start with a couple of chips? We then talk about expecting cold meals through meal delivery services and Dion and Christian harmonise over a Thornbury pizza shop. Dion doesn’t wait for his Mum to sit down for dinner; Christian’s Nonna refuses to ever sit down. Josh then asks Dion and Christian a very important question - what’s your end to end approach to dipping a full bowl of chips into a very small bowl of sauce? Will you ever decide to not sauce a chip so that other chips may be fully loaded? Why are wedges always served with so much sauce? Finally, we discuss whether you need to acknowledge a stranger who is walking by you on the street. Josh surprises them with a mini “Hi”, Christian pretends he doesn’t see them and Dion still has no idea. Josh decides whether movement on an aeroplane is a shimmy, a shuffle or a slide past. Christian then completely loses the plot over someone saying “hey stranger” to him and Dion and Josh try to calm him down. We also play Oh Wow and Time To Think Follow us on Instagram , YouTube , TikTok , Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, May 10, 2023
PatchGPT
Prepare for an outrageous and side-splitting comedy experience in this special episode of our podcast! Brace yourself for a laughter-filled adventure as the entire episode has been crafted by the comedic genius of ChatGPT, the AI language model with an uncanny knack for humour. Get ready to be entertained by a non-stop barrage of jokes, humorous anecdotes, and hilarious situations. ChatGPT's algorithmic wit will leave you in stitches as it delivers punchlines, engages in comedic dialogues, and shares uproarious sketches that will have you doubled over with laughter. With an inexhaustible arsenal of jokes and a quick wit, ChatGPT proves that AI has a place in the comedy world. From clever wordplay to absurd scenarios, this episode showcases the astonishing capabilities of artificial intelligence when it comes to tickling funny bones. Whether you're in need of a good laugh, a momentary escape, or simply a comedic pick-me-up, this episode guarantees an unforgettable and uproarious experience. So please sit back, relax, and prepare to be delighted by ChatGPT's comedic brilliance in this AI-driven, laughter-inducing episode of our comedy podcast! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S8 E5 · Tue, April 04, 2023
Patch #118 - Do You Need Total Darkness To Fall Asleep?
Open wide and come inside! For this Patch, we've each written a new catchphrase that we'll drop into the episode at an appropriate time (and by appropriate time, we mean somewhere in the first 10 minutes because we were all too excited to hold on to them). Christian asks Josh and Dion to be a sounding board about a prank played on his friend's mum. We then wonder, who are pranks for? Are they ever funny? Is a prank just 'accessible bullying'? Josh tries to find an example of a harmless, good prank. Christian then recalls a profound comment made by a friend about sleep which kicks off a big discussion around how we each interact with sleep. We first talk about the very notion of trying to fall asleep and then Christian and Josh openly discuss how they actively try to repress any thought whatsoever throughout the day. What aids do you need to fall asleep? Do you wake up during the night? Dion then asks Josh and Christian about how they manage sleeping in bed with someone else before declaring a pillow between the knees a 'deal maker'. Christian then tries to counsel Dion on how to be an effective stomach sleeper but he's a little more worried about his Venetian blind eyelids. Finally, Josh is pulled up by his partner for eating chips weirdly and we ask the question, how do you eat chips? Is it one at a time with a chew and swallow? Is it an endless chip parade with chewing and swallowing interspersed when your mouth gets too full? Or is it a gorilla fist of chips that you work your way through? We then inspect how we approach fingers dusted with chip seasoning. We also play Deserted Island (Work Meetings) Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S8 E4 · Tue, March 21, 2023
Patch #117 - Do You Make New Plans After An Event Is Cancelled?
Josh is woken up by the incessant banging of some tradesmen and Christian and Dion wonder whether this could be improving Josh's life. We then discuss why tradies need to start work so early? Christian then tells Josh and Dion about feeling relief about an upcoming event being cancelled. He sees the night now as 'free' and able to be reclaimed as a night off - Josh and Dion think the right course of action is to plan a different night out with the same group who would have attended the event. Oh my! What will the Patchwork boys say next?! Josh then complains about his friends no longer coming to gigs that start at 3 in the morning. We then discuss our feelings towards an impromptu venue change and posit, is there a point of diminishing returns when spending time with friends? Have you inadvertently stolen anything and enjoyed the benefits of your theft? Josh recalls accidentally stealing a hand towel from a hotel and then Christian admits to A LOT of theft - especially from Virgin Active. We then talk about taking the frill neck lizard soaps from hotels and Josh literally says the words "Jacobean ruff". Dion then ponders, is there anything you do that makes you feel like a good person? Giving blood? Picking something up that someone else dropped? Mowing your neighbours lawn? We also play Horrorscopes and Really Good Follow us on Instagram , YouTube , Tiktok , Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S8 E3 · Tue, March 07, 2023
Patch #116 - How Much Finger Food Can You Take From A Tray?
Josh calls out Dion for asking a friend to hotspot internet so he could top up his phone credit, Dion vehemently tries to defend himself by revealing that he actually purchased his sim card from a supermarket. It becomes clear that no one is right and we've wasted each others time and energy; much like all the Welcome to Patchwork episodes. Christian went to his cousin's 30th and his only take away from the evening was, how long can you make someone holding a platter wait while you take food from it? And further, how many items can you take from that platter? Dion takes aim at sushi served on a platter and we discuss what makes a 'good' finger food? Josh loves a single mouth full, Christian loves things in containers, Dion just loves slides. Are you concerned about where you're positioned in the room relative to the finger food? Do you often take the final item on a tray to help the waiter? To close the episode, it's Josh and Dion vs Christian in a battle royale about whether you should leave kitchen utensils sitting in a holder on top of the kitchen bench? Josh and Dion believe it's handy for grabbing utensils in a pinch. Christian doesn't believe the use case happens enough to warrant dirtying the kitchen landscape. Finally, Christian pushes his case for using tea towels... and FIGHT! We also play Deserted Island and do a bit of a Sound Check Follow us on Instagram , YouTube , Tiktok , Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S8 E2 · Tue, February 21, 2023
Patch #115 - How Do You Find The Toilet In A Restaurant?
Christian kicks off this episode by wishing himself an early happy birthday and then asks Dion and Josh how they feel about receiving 'happy birthday' messages before their actual birthday. Does receiving an early birthday message change the sentiment? Or is it the same as receiving it on the day? Are you annoyed when someone asks you where the toilets are in a restaurant? This is what Christian confronted Josh with at the Patchwork Christmas Party. What is your system for finding toilets in a restaurant? Do you get anxious? Are you confident in your ability to locate a toilet wherever you are? Do you care if the toilets are nice? Are you good at asking staff for help wherever you are? How do you feel about people that ask you to remind them about something later? You know those people, "oh, remind me to get my keys before we leave home". Is this adding to an individual's mental load or is it cuter than that? Dion then tells us about a recent visit to the dentist where he had eaten a poppy seed bagel immediately before being seen. He then takes us through his new flossing technique. We then talk about when we brush our teeth in the morning. Do you sometimes skip a brush? Will you brush before breakfast and then after breakfast? How conscious are you of your breath during the day? We also play Oh Wow Of The Week and Time To Think Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S8 E1 · Tue, February 07, 2023
Patch #114 - When Do You Save Someone As A Contact?
We're back for Season 8 baby! To kick it all off, Christian takes aim at Josh for giving him 1 hour to confirm he was available for a catchup before making other plans. Josh tell us about his frustration at some unsaved numbers in a friendly WhatsApp thread which leads us to ask - when should you add someone as a contact in your phone? What makes a person worthy of contact status? After exploring what the threshold is for saving them, we then look at what makes us delete a number from our phone? Finally we explore what's needed to transition a work colleague into a friend? After trying to recruit players for their AFL7s team, Christian and Dion kick off the conversation around when an item you own can no longer be considered new? Is it about the price of the item? Maybe it's about how long you're planning on owning it for. Is something no longer new just because it's dirty? What about buying a used item? Do you introduce it as your 'new used' product? When do you start using your new product like a normal product you don't really care that much about? Games Horrorscopes Copy Cat (Champagne Cork Pop) Socials Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork Patreon For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Christian Guests on the "Cooks" Podcast Hear Christian pronounce great Italian things as he guests on the podcast, Cooks with host James Pattison. https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/cooks/id1660151496?i=1000593059459 Cooks is a podcast about all the good stuff. Food. Cooking. Conversation. Each episode James goes over to someone's house, they cook for him, and they have a chat. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E13 · Tue, January 24, 2023
Patch #113 - How To Handle The Heat
As summer heats up (or you're listening to this in winter and have got the heater on really high), it's time we taught you how to beat the heat! We start by talking about the moment we 'know summer has arrived', the ozone layer and how we fixed the whole CFC thing?!! Right? Dion then takes us through UV ratings, we talk methods for applying sunscreen and asking people to rub sunscreen into your back. We then look at the factors that inform how we dress on a warm day, looking for the perfect amount of sun and Christian ponders 'what is beach?' Finally, we deep dive into the ways we stay cool when feeling hot - wet face washers, spritz on the face, rolling to the cool side of the bed, perfect positioning of your fan, billowing linen clothing. We also play Patchwork of the Day and Time To Think Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E12 · Tue, December 06, 2022
Patch #112 - How To Go Grocery Shopping
Grab a handful of canvas bags and a gold coin because Welcome to Patchwork is teaching you how to go grocery shopping. What prompts you to go grocery shopping? How do you manage your shopping list? What's your shopping strategy once you step foot inside the supermarket? If you lose the person you're with, how do you find them? Should you ever shop on an empty stomach? This Patch is full of big questions with tiny answers. In fact, the answers are so small you can barely hear them. What you will hear is Christian taking Josh and Dion through his jazz shopping; Josh reflecting on his Dad's 'late night shopping' escapades and Dion's obsession with the price of raspberries. We also play Scrolling Through Time and Really Good Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E11 · Tue, November 22, 2022
Patch #111 - How To Recycle
In Patch 111, we rip the sticky tape off our cardboard packaging and chat all things recycling. We begin by asking ourselves why we recycle. Is it for the environment? Or is it to avoid the scorn of others? We explore why Josh goes through his housemate's rubbish, the magic and mystery of where our rubbish goes and the history of our attitude towards recycling. We then shift gears and talk about buying and selling secondhand goods, product lifecycles, the necessary inclusions of an online ad and giving away products to people who care. Finally, Dion adds another exceptional story into the annals of Patchwork history that involves an ex-AFL player and a bar fridge. We also play Sound Check (Soft Drinks). Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E10 · Tue, November 08, 2022
Patch #110 - How To Wait In A Line
In Patch 110, we cloak our jackets, skip the queue and talk all things waiting in line. We start by exploring each of our first instincts when approaching a line. Josh establishes the core types of line: single, mess and multi-stream, whilst Christian declares himself a Line Captain. Is Dion cutthroat? Does he call out a line cutter? We discuss some of the best, worst and most embarrassing lines. Josh flips the narrative and tells us about his experience as a cowboy bartender who needs to wrangle lines. Finally we consider the forgotten line, the telephone queue and Christian rages out against people who try engaging in meaningful line chit-chat. We also debut a new game, Team Of The Century (Pencil Case edition) and play Oh Wow. Watch this episode on YouTube: youtube.com/watch?v=eJLwchwFfJ8 Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E9 · Tue, October 25, 2022
Patch #109 - How To Declutter Your Home
In Patch 109, we roll around in the mud, feed from the trough and eventually discuss all things clutter and collectibles. We start by exploring how to best hide clutter in your very own home. Whether it's in piles, hidden in storage containers or blocking a robot vacuum, our clutter manifests in very different forms. But what even is a pile? And what is a container, if not simply a place to store your piles. We then dive into sentimental clutter. Can it ever be thrown out given the memories it evokes? Can a photo of the item still hold that same sentimental value? Josh poses the question to Dion and Josh - can you ask housemates to chip in on a purchase for the house. As usual, Christian and Dion attempt to rip Josh apart. Finally, we talk about collections and what weird things we've accumulated over time. We also play Wheel of Fortune Cookie and Time To Think. Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E8 · Tue, October 11, 2022
Patch #108 - How To Send A Text Message
BUMP! In Patch 108, we make sure our phone credit is topped up as we step into the world of text messaging. Josh encourages Christian and Dion to become cryptographers as we try to text-spell famous abbreviations; we dissect swiping on a keyboard and many other methods for typing; Christian admires how young people use their phones; Josh encourages us to soften our tone; Christian wonders when he should abandon hope for a response to a text message and Dion tries to uncover the best way to remind someone they've haven't responded to a question. We also play Copy Cat (horse walking into gallop into neigh) and a new game, "Gimme The Line!" Follow us on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook to see clips from the show: linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E7 · Tue, September 27, 2022
Patch #107 - How To Get Dressed For The Day
From preparing the night before to cuffing your sleeves, Patch 107 covers the gamut of a morning dress up routine. Josh talks us through the first thing he does in the morning before putting on clothes; Christian explores the relationship between wearing nice clothes and being productive and Dion explains why he wears an elastic band as a bracelet. Josh stuns us with the structures and systems he has implemented in his life, Christian explores his 7-day cycle and Dion begs us to consider the rule, "there's a hat for everyone". We also check in about accessorizing and clothing flair. We also play Hi Team and an old favourite, Really Good. Click here to watch Patch 107 on YouTube Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E6 · Tue, September 13, 2022
Patch #106 - How To Enjoy A Flight
Please keep your seatbelts fastened for Patch 106 as we teach you how to enjoy a flight! We start by covering what we pack in our carry on: Josh is obsessed with charging his devices, Dion has an interesting kind of neck pillow and Christian reflects on a magical moment with a reclining Italian man. We then look at what we first do to settle into the flight: where do you put your feet? do you think about what films you'll watch? We also discuss how much water we drink during the flight and the hotly contested, best seat on the plane. Finally, Christian vents about his broken dreams of getting drunk on a flight with very attentive crew. We also do a quick Soundcheck (Dog Breeds) and play Time To Think. Click here to watch Patch 106 on YouTube Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E5 · Tue, August 30, 2022
Patch #105 - How To Choose A Restaurant
We all enjoy eating at restaurants. But have you ever really thought about how or why we choose those restaurants? In this Patch, we dive into some of the key considerations that go into picking a restaurant. Are you swayed by spruikers throwing in a glass of wine? Will you pick a 'feed me' option? Do you care about the name of the restaurant? In this episode, Josh expresses his love for menus stuck to the front window of a restaurant, Christian vents about the 'please wait to be seated' sign and Dion talks about dietary requirements (again). We also play Oh Wow Of the Week (OWOW) and Nursery Rhymes. Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, YouTube, Tiktok, Twitter and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E4 · Tue, August 16, 2022
Patch #104 - How To Open A Door
We navigate the difficult questions and considerations around walking through doors. First door in our line of sight is the revolving door. After dissecting some of the nuances of entering one of the revolving door 'slices', we look at some of the other classic doors: sliding doors, fly-screens, car doors, van doors and the enigmatic turnstiles and plastic strips at the front of milkbars. After talking about our favourite types of doors, we move onto key chains and the keys you carry. Finally, we address the etiquette of holding the door open for others. We also play Copy Cat and Patchword of the Day. Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E3 · Tue, August 02, 2022
Patch #103 - How To Enjoy Your Birthday
Should you wish someone happy birthday in a group thread if you've already wished them happy birthday in your own separate thread. We also ponder what questions you should ask someone on their birthday. Plus Christian reveals how many of his childhood birthdays were spent at Crown: A World of Entertainment. Plus find out if you can give Gordon's Gin as a present! Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch every off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E2 · Tue, July 19, 2022
Patch #102 - How To Try Before You Buy
This week we give you the indispensable instruction manual on how to properly try shoes, clothes and cars. Dion gives us a surprise Roobois Challenge, and Christian writes the rulebook for when you can return items to a store. Search for us on social media to see clips of the show: We're on Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok and Facebook. linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork For a couple of dollars a month you can sign up to our Patreon page and get a bonus Patch in our off week! Check out: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S7 E1 · Tue, July 05, 2022
Patch #101 - How To Record A Podcast
Dion, Christian and Josh are back for Season 7! Join the boys as they cast their minds all the way back to Episode 1 nearly five years ago. They discuss their updated 2022 insecurities, Dion gives an update on his never-ending revolving door of hairdressers, and of course, what they are now Doyens of. Plus old school games ”Monotoly” and Really Good! Remember to follow us on social media inc YouTube, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook and head to Patreon for bonus content: www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E35 · Tue, June 21, 2022
Patch #100 - Is Saying Hello Or Goodbye More Important? (Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2022)
Patch 100 was recorded LIVE at Brunswick Ballroom on April 9 2022 as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Josh confronts Dion about something he noticed whilst editing the podcast, we prioritise hellos and goodbyes and finally, discuss making room for dessert. We were also joined on stage by very special guests Meshel Laurie and Daniel Connell to talk stealing shopping trollies and kissing your mother on the lips. A big big thank you to everyone who attended the live show! We had so much fun. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Bonus · Mon, June 06, 2022
Quick Update & Planning For Season 7
After months of radio silence, Christian, Dion and Josh are on the mend and ready to return. We wanted to record a quick update to let you know what we've been up to the last few months and our plans to return for Season 7. Thank you for holding down the fort. We're back!... That is our seat though. Yeah. The one you're sitting on. Yeah. We were sitting on it just before we left. Yeah but it doesn't matter that we've been gone for 3 months - we left our glass there. We were always going to come back and sit there again. Are you seriously not going to get up? Fine. It doesn't matter. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E33 · Tue, March 29, 2022
Patchwork Rewind #2: 2021 Melbourne International Comedy Festival (Show 2)
For the second week running, to whet your appetite for this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival, here's a walk down memory lane to Show 2 last year. Get your tickets to this year's show (Sat 9 April at 1pm) here! https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-episode Recorded LIVE on April 18, 2021 at Comedy Republic as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Is it acceptable to leave a live event early? What should you do if you stop next to someone you know at the traffic lights? What are you responsibilities to others when leaving a room? With very special guests, Oh Wow of the week, Scrolling Through Time, Wheel of Fortune Cookie, DJ Drop from Prince Phillip's Funeral and of course, your Really Goods! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E32 · Wed, March 23, 2022
2022 Comedy Festival (Sat 9 April) - Do You Tell People At Work If It's Your Birthday?
We're performing our 100th episode live show baby! Listen to this short little trailer while booking tickets to our bloody show. With special guests comedians Meshel Laurie and Daniel Connell! Also jump on any of our social media channels to see this audio recording brought to life in 4-DIMENSIONAL video: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-episode We cannot wait for this. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E31 · Tue, March 22, 2022
Patchwork Rewind #1: 2021 Melbourne International Comedy Festival (Show 1)
To whet your appetite for this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival, here's a walk down memory lane to Show 1 last year. Get your tickets for this year's show (Sat 9 April at 1pm) here: https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/2022/shows/welcome-to-patchwork-100th-episode Recorded LIVE on April 11, 2021 at Comedy Republic as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. What time does a host need to arrive to their event? Should you pause your conversation when a waiter begins to set your table? What's your favourite style of chopping? With very special guests, Oh Wow of the week, Forgive Me Father, Patchword of the Day and of course, your Really Goods! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E30 · Tue, March 08, 2022
Patch #99 - When Is It Appropriate To Compliment A Stranger?
Christian received a wonderful compliment while riding his bike and he was thoroughly chuffed. He tells us about how chuffed he was. Megachuffed. Josh has big issues with message reactions. What was wrong with a good 'haha' or a 'lol' - there's too many options now and it's an absolute disgrace. Does reacting to a message signify simple acknowldgement or is it rude and dismissive? We also discuss if you should always go and visit a friends 'new place' and what you're looking out for when visiting. Who's responsibility is it to organise the 'checking out' of the new place, the mover inner, or the friend who wants to see the new place? With very special guest 'Oh Wow' and 'Time to Think'. Don't forget - Our huge 100th Episode special live recording at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival is on sale now! Josh also has two Game Boys shows on sale as well ' Escape to the Megaverse ' and ' Hey Hey It's The Butterfly Club '! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E29 · Tue, February 22, 2022
Patch #98 - How Generously Should You Spread Butter On Toast?
Josh wonders why Christian and Dion chose to print their name while signing the pair of elf slippers ew auctioned off. Turns out Christian would rather get a celebrity print their name rather than sign it. We all agree that shopping centre interactive maps are very confronting and give you a false sense of security until you instantly get lost at the corner of the National Geogrpahic and JB Hi-Fi wondering if you were meant to turn right or turn due South. It's Dion's turn for 'Good at / Bad at' this week and he's shocking at buttering bread. Most of this turns out to be an issue with hard blocks of butter so I feel we can let Dion off lightly for this one. With very special guest 'Wheel of Fortune Cookie' and 'Really Good'. Don't forget - Our huge 100th Episode special live recording at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival is on sale now! Josh also has 2 Game Boys shows on sale as well ' Escape to the Megaverse ' and ' Hey Hey It's The Butterfly Club '! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E28 · Tue, February 08, 2022
Patch #97 - Would You Accept A Reward For Finding A Lost Pet?
Josh attempts (and fails) to set the record straight about drinking Dion's beer - turns out he's technically correct, the best kind of correct, but morally bankrupt. Christian's shares his latest get rich quick scheme which is pet-napping. We also realise that losing your wallet isn't anywhere near as bad as it once was. Dion discovers that his work colleague owns the same pair of shoes that he does and he is filled with shame and regret. He is also the only one of us to have experienced this phenomenon, not only with shoes, but with other items of clothing as well. What a basic bitch. With very special guests 'Copy Cat' and 'Time to Think'. Our huge 100th Episode special live recording at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival is on sale now! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E27 · Tue, January 25, 2022
Patch #96 - Is It Uncool To Plan An Overseas Trip In A Spreadsheet?
We're back baby! With a very special announcement and some classic Patchwork. There's bones to be picked and befores to get started. Christian takes issue with Josh trying to sell some Elf Slippers online which spirals into some hairbrained scheme of Christian's to list brand new clothes online the day he buys them. We also dive deep into what things make us feel cool and also uncool. One universal truth we seem to land on that there is something particularly cool about sunglasses. With very special guests 'Scrolling through time' and 'Time to Think'. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E26 · Tue, December 21, 2021
Patch #95 - A Very Patchwork Christmas 2021
Merry Christmas Patchworkers! In our annual Christmas episode we cover the Christmas menu. How fixed is your families Christmas menu? Do new dishes ever make it on? Christian has been trying (and failing) to add vegan dishes to his heavily Italian Christmas to no avail. Maybe 2021 will be the year. Christian also lays down his patented 'Gift Giving Guide' - it's all you'll ever need to figure out what to buy someone for any occasion. There's also a visit from Santa and a very special young boy... With very special guests 'Ho Wow', 'Time to Think' and 'Really Good'. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E25 · Tue, December 14, 2021
Patch #94 - How Urgently Do You Fill Up A Low Petrol Tank?
There's yet another twist to the saga of Samantha the turtle! Let's hope Josh stops milking a lost turtle for content, after this week. We find out who among us holds the record for 'most times car has completely run out of petrol' and how lazy they are. We fully cover our strategies for filling our tanks including some more life hacks from Dion's dad. We also try out a new segment called 'Good at, Bad at'. Josh is up this week and we explore how useless he is with interior decorating but conversely how amazing he is with building IKEA furniture. Sounds like some sort of Monkey Paw trade off - he can make the furtniture but has no idea what will look good in his room. With very special guests 'Never Scene it' and 'Time to Think'. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E24 · Tue, November 30, 2021
Patch #93 - What’s The Furthest You’d Walk To An Event?
Turns out that Dion hates a meandering walk but Christian and Josh love to go for a trot - conversation ensues. We find out our limits for how far we're willing to walk and under what conditions. Christian also reveals something shocking about his feet. We also take a trip to the tuck shop and reminisce about our old tuck shop orders and most likely what we'd order now as adults. Josh gives us an update on the Turtle saga for those who followed that story on our instagram. With very special guests 'Patchword of the day', 'Time to Think' and 'Really Good'. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E23 · Tue, November 16, 2021
Patch #92 - How Should You Pass The Time Whilst Waiting For A Food Delivery?
We discuss if it's ok to simply hang up a phone call while it's ringing, or if you should let it ring out to be polite. Christian thinks that under no circumstance can you hang up and he takes us through his '4 ring classification system'. We also delve into what kind of activities are permitted to be undertaken while waiting for your food delivery to arrive. Dion apparently loves to do a bit of a backyard prune! Josh also delivers the second part of his story about Kamahl. This installment details what it's like trying to use modern technology with an 87 year old singer. With very special guests 'Oh Wow', 'Never Scene It' and 'Really Good'. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E22 · Tue, November 02, 2021
Patch #91 - How I Became Friends With Kamahl
Christian picks a bone with Josh's tuneless whistling. We discuss what we've been up to since lockdown has lifted here in Melbourne. Number one post lockdown activity on Dion's list was a hair cut - is that weird? I rekon it's a bit weird. Christian is desperate to get into a store and sit on a couch as he seeks to furnish his new place and Josh just wants to do the boring thing of 'socialising' - what a commie bastard! Josh also regales us with the story of how he became friends with Kamahl . Kamahl has had a very interesting life and has some wild stories to tell, can't wait to share them with you! With very special guests 'Zoo Crew' and a different twist on 'Really Good'. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E21 · Tue, October 19, 2021
Patch #90 - Are You Ever The First Person To Clap?
How confident are you in being that first person to put their hands together at the end of a performance? It's a big risk, what if you get it wrong? They'll boo you out of the theatre, probably. We also critique those pointless empty gestures like pretending to pick something up that's fallen over when you have absolutely no intetion at all to follow through. Why would you bend over like a chump when someone else will, and by faking it you still get credit for trying. Just don't pause and hover halfway down like Dion's friend did. We also get a quick 'sausage in glass jar' update and Josh picks a bone with Christian's policy on washing glassware. With very special guests 'Mad Lifts' and 'Really Good'. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E20 · Tue, October 05, 2021
Patch #89 - Should You Peel The Foil Entirely Off A Dip?
We talk animal shelters, flat tyres and delivery estimate etiquette. Josh clumisly wades into dog eugenics while Christian can't stop talking about sexy dogs. We also go deep on dip. Should the foil stay or go once the seal has been broken? We just can't decide, what do you rekon? We also discover that Dion has shocking sour cream application technique. With very special guests 'Wheel of Fortune Cookie' and 'Really Good'. Josh's 'Game Boys' Melbourne Fringe show ' Hey Hey It's Lockdown ' is on 8pm Friday 8th and 15th. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E19 · Tue, September 21, 2021
Patch #88 - What Turns A Catch-Up Into A Night Out?
"The boys are back in town, the boys are back in towwwnnnn." *sung to the tune of "Boys Are Back In Town". While we've been hating our lives in lockdown, Dion's been gardening and ruminating on what could've been if he'd ever got a job at Bunnings. We give some advice to a Patreon in need whose housemate is taking way too much credit for recommending she try oat milk. We also tackle the age old question of what is required for an evening to be considered a 'night out' rather than just a catch-up. Heavy weight stuff in this one. With very special guests 'Sound Check' and 'Really Good'. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, September 16, 2021
Lockdown Update
Hello Patchworkers, it's been too long! Sorry for not communicating clearly with you as to what's been going on with the show. The short version is: 'it's been a bit shit during lockdown here in Melbourne, hasn't it?'. A juicy update for you all as we get back into it! Patchreons, keep an eye on the Patchreon feed for a big chat about how we've been feeling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E18 · Tue, August 03, 2021
Patch #87 - Do You Need To Leave A Light On When Someone Leaves The House?
'What is the purpose of the front porch light if not to be left on for members of the household currently out of the house!?' says Josh indignantly during this episode. He's sick of fumbling with his keys while Christian sits inside laughing at how much electricity he's saving. The trio also ponder what's required of both parties when someone turns up to your house before you're ready. We also settle on our dream jobs if we were to have lived back in the Wild West in a frontier town and take a visit to Melbourne Zoo. I also change grammatical person throughout this show description. With very special guest 'Surreally Good' off the back of a listener request. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E17 · Tue, July 20, 2021
Patch #86 - What Is A Reasonable Reaction To Seeing A Mouse?
What is the etiquette surrounding after hours emails? Is there such a thing as an over-enthusiastic active listener? And Dion is shocked by Christian and Josh's reaction to seeing a mouse in their house - you won't believe what he says! With very special guests 'Sound Check and of course 'Really Good'. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E16 · Tue, July 06, 2021
Patch #85 - Whose Responsibility Is It To Remove Tissues From Pockets Before A Wash?
How do you apply sauce to your food? Are you a side or top saucer? Can you defer a house tour? What do you point out when giving someone a tour of your house? Whose responsibility is it to check pockets for tissues before a wash? Do you enjoy the feeling of a warm towel after a shower? With very special guests, Oh Wow, Mad Lifts and of course Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E15 · Tue, June 22, 2021
Patch #84 - How Much Water Should You Add To An Empty Shampoo Bottle?
Dion encourages thieves to steal his car; Josh takes a nap, fully clothed; we discuss the lengths we all go to when using up the last little bits of a product and we help another listener who calls in to the Patchwork Helpline. With very special guests, Copy Cat, and Wheel of Fortune Cookie. Also a new live show is announced - Melbourne Podcast Festival August 1st! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us and get an extra mini-patch every-second week. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E14 · Tue, June 08, 2021
Patch #83 - Do You Have A Strategy For Finding A Car Spot?
Josh and Christian argue over a dinner order that never came to fruition; what is your strategy for finding a car spot? what is your desert island vegetable? what prompts you to leave an online review? With very special guests, Oh Wow and 'Nearly' Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E13 · Tue, May 25, 2021
Patch #82 - Can You Ask A Friend To Put Their Phone On Silent?
If you buy someone a lottery ticket and they win a prize, are you entitled to the rewards? Can you flip another person's phone over if it's distracting? Can you turn that same phone onto silent mode? Dion tells us the real story behind his Dad's Italian leather jacket swindle. With very special guests, Welcome to the Ad Break, Quiet In The Library and, of course, Really Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E12 · Tue, May 11, 2021
Patch #81 - How Should You React When Someone Uses A Word You Don't Know?
Josh calls out Dion's birthday hypocracy; how do you remember to say happy birthday to somone? What is your reaction to someone who uses a word you don't know? Plus we open the Patchwork Helpline for the very first time and see if we can help a Patchworker cross the line from client to friend with his physiotherapist. With very special guests, Quick Quiz and Really Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E11 · Tue, April 27, 2021
Patch #80 - Is It OK To Leave A Live Performance Early?
Recorded LIVE on April 18, 2021 at Comedy Republic as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Is it acceptable to leave a live event early? What should you do if you stop next to someone you know at the traffic lights? What are you responsibilities to others when leaving a room? With very special guests, Oh Wow of the week, Scrolling Through Time, Wheel of Fortune Cookie, DJ Drop from Prince Phillip's Funeral and of course, your Really Goods! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E10 · Tue, April 13, 2021
Patch #79 - Do You Need To Stop Talking As A Waiter Places Cutlery At Your Table?
Recorded LIVE on April 11, 2021 at Comedy Republic as part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. What time does a host need to arrive to their event? Should you pause your conversation when a waiter begins to set your table? What's your favoutie style of chopping? With very special guests, Oh Wow of the week, Forgive Me Father, Patchword of the Day and of course, your Really Goods! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E9 · Tue, March 30, 2021
Patch #78 - When Should You Eat With A Napkin On Your Lap?
When you should you lay a napkin on your lap? What is the best approach to haggling? What is your favourite type of ice cube? With very specials guests: Welcome to the Ad Break and, of course, Really Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E8 · Tue, March 16, 2021
Patch #77 - What Are The Unique Circumstances That Warrant Swearing?
When do you need to respond to a group message? Are the circumstances when it is reasonable to swear? What are the worst items of clothing you are willing to wear out of the house? With special guests Wheel of Fortune Cookie, Sound Check (Australian Idol Contestants) and of course Really Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E7 · Tue, March 02, 2021
Patch #76 - What's The Best Way To Clean Up A Broken Glass?
Josh explores Christian and Dion's preferred placeholder names; we discuss our preferred strategy for cleaning a broken glass off the floor; Christian laments his walking speed. With special guests, Welcome to the Ad Break, Patchword of the Day and Really Good. We have 2 shows on at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival in April. Please search Welcome to Patchwork on the MICF website and buy your tickets now ! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E6 · Tue, February 09, 2021
Patch #75 - Do You Need To Ask Permission To Open A Car Window?
Christian, Dion and Josh play Patchphrase; Dion has a Bone to Pick with Christian's personal use of the Patchwork social media accounts; not knowing when to use moisturiser; borrowing from the local library; when do you open windows? With very special guests Copy Cat (Ghost Motorcycle), Wheel of Fortune Cookie and of course Really Good. We're performing 2 LIVE SHOWS as part of this year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival. We'll be at Comedy Republic on April 11 and 18 (both 1pm). Buy your tickets now by clicking HERE Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E5 · Tue, January 26, 2021
Patch #74 - Should You Wear An Apron While Cooking?
Josh invents an interesting workplace neumonic device; is it necessary to wear an apron whilst cooking? Is all kitchen protective-wear absolutely shocking? If someone asks you to pass on a 'hello' to your partner, do you? How do your parents react when you leave their house? With very special guests Just Quickly with Josh, Sound Checks (Australian Prime Ministers) and of course, Really Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E4 · Tue, January 12, 2021
Patch #73 - Do You Have A Favourite Stove-Top Burner?
If a third person arrives at an event, where should you sit them? Do you have a favourite stove-top burner? Dion takes Josh shopping for shoes. With very special guests Copy Cat , Fork or Spoon and of course Really Good . Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E3 · Tue, December 29, 2020
Patch #72 - Should Dinner Only Be Eaten At The Kitchen Table?
Can food be flushed down the toilet? Where do you dispose of mouldy food? Is it possible to 'over-punctuate' your sentences? Does dinner need to be eaten at the kitchen table? With very special guests Oh Wow, Wheel of Fortune Cookies and Really Gouda. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E2 · Tue, December 15, 2020
Patch #71 - Can You Takeaway Uneaten Food From A Restaurant?
Are you a good recycler? Do you request to takeaway your uneaten food from a restaurant? Why do sportspeople avoid looking directly into the camera? Are you comfortable maintaining eye contact with others? With very special guests Nursery Rhymes, Scrolling Through Time and of course your Really Goods. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S6 E1 · Tue, December 01, 2020
Patch #70 - How Much Time Should Be Spent Preparing A Snack? (Melbourne Fringe Festival 2020)
Season 6 begins with a live recorded podcast for the Melbourne Fringe Festival! Are you particular about where things are left around the house? How do you react to cold water? Do you mind being wet? How much time should be spent preparing a snack? Featuring special guests, Wheel Of Fortune Cookie, Hi Team and, of course, Really Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E14 · Thu, October 08, 2020
Patch #14 - Season 1 Retrospective (Part 1) [Patchwork Classic]
This episode originally aired on 20 September 2017. Christian tells us about his ethnic upbringing (again), we revisit gift-giving, Josh hosts a houseparty, a sketch that didn't make the cut, Monotoly returns, Sah Great and a different take on 'Really Good' and a very special guest. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E13 · Thu, October 01, 2020
Patch #34 - How Long Should You Keep A Birthday Card? ft. Andy Lee [Patchwork Classic]
This episode originally aired on 24 October 2018. Featuring Andy Lee from the Hamish & Andy duo, discussing blinking in photos, birthday cards and the Andy-pasto. With very special guests Forgive Me Father, Mr Minute and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S5 E12 · Thu, September 24, 2020
Patch #4 - The Watermelon Diaries [Patchwork Classic]
This episode originally aired on 16 April 2017. Dion’s messy car, using the bathroom at work, talking to strangers, the holy trinity of Watermelon stories, eating food from stranger’s plates, stealing from supermarkets and dictators. With very special guests Really Good and New School Courtyard. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S5 E11 · Thu, September 17, 2020
Patch #25 - Curry, No Hurry [Patchwork Classic]
This episode originally aired on 11 April 2018. The Highs and Lows of Josh's Great Social Experiment, Murphy's Buttered Toast, the Future of Cigarette Packaging and Part 1 of another Christian epic, 'Curry, No Hurry.' With very special guests, Really Good, Oh Wow and Trent's Rooibos Challenge . Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S5 E10 · Tue, July 14, 2020
Patch #69 - What Should A Tea Towel Be Used For?
Josh grows weary of Christian's incorrect use of tea towels. What should you store under your bed? Should you leave the fridge door open or closed when making multiple trips to the kitchen bench? Recounting things your parents forced you to do as kids. With very special guests, Hi Team, Nursery Rhymes, Copy Cat and What's Your Favourite (Type of Flooring)? Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S5 E9 · Tue, June 30, 2020
Patch #68 - Is It A Waste To Order Tea From A Cafe?
Should you sit in the front seat when riding in an uber? When does a stranger stop being a stranger? Should you ever order tea at a cafe? Patch 68 was recorded live as part of our At Home With Patchwork YouTube Live series. With very special guests Oh Wow and Soundcheck (Australian Gameshow Hosts). Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S5 E8 · Tue, June 16, 2020
Patch #67 - How Much Should You Tidy Up Before A Guest Arrives?
Lasagna, plate or bowl? How much should you clean up before a guest arrives? And Dion battles for corporate justice with another Rooibos Challenge. Patch 67 was recorded live as part of our At Home With Patchwork YouTube Live series. With very special guests Copy Cat (clearing your throat) and Hi Team. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S5 E7 · Tue, June 02, 2020
Patch #66 - What Do You Consider When Describing Yourself?
Christian is roasted by Josh for his attempts to get 'cosy'; finding an answering to the question, 'tell me a bit about yourself?' and we discuss our chopping skills. Patch 66 was recorded live as part of our At Home With Patchwork YouTube Live series. With very special guests Patchword Of The Day and Soundcheck. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S5 E6 · Tue, May 19, 2020
Patch #65 - How Many Lollies Can You Take From A Reception Desk Bowl?
How long can you leave left overs in the fridge? What are the justifications for having a big night? Should you take lollies offered to you at a reception desk? Do you need to ask permission? Patch 65 was recorded live as part of our At Home With Patchwork YouTube Live series. With very special guests Oh Wow and a fun new game, Soundcheck. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S5 E5 · Tue, May 05, 2020
Patch #64 - Do Your Socks Need To Match?
Patch 64 was recorded live as part of our At Home With Patchwork YouTube Live series. Josh recounts his unique birthday party experience; how much effort do you put into coordinating your clothes? do you bring your shopping inside in one trip? With very special guests Copy Cat and of course Really Good. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S5 E4 · Sun, May 03, 2020
YouTube Live Patch: How Should You Handle A Phone Call Drop Out?
Due to the cancellation of the 2020 Melbourne International Comedy Festival and consequentially, our live shows, we decided to record a very special show via YouTube Live on April 26. If you want to WATCH this special Patch, head to our YouTube channel via youtube.com/welcometopatchwork . Who has the responsibility of calling back if a phone call drops out? Do you need to correct a typo in a text message? How many appliances should you plug in to a powerboard? With very special guests, Scrolling Through Time, Hi Team, Oh Wow and Really Good! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S5 E3 · Tue, April 07, 2020
Patch #63 - Should You Shower In The Morning Or At Night?
Josh takes it upon himself to give himself a nickname; should you shower in the morning or at night; measuring the space inside of a bag; taking the bin out at the end of the week and enjoying a little sip. With very special guests Really Good, Scrolling Through Time, Oh Palau and Problem, No Problem. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S5 E2 · Tue, March 24, 2020
Patch #62 - Should You Put Clothes Back On A Hanger After Trying Them On?
Can you buy a gift for a baby that it can't use immediately? Should you put clothes back on a hanger after trying them on? Should you listen to the music of a gig you're about to go to? With very special guests Really Good, "Hi Team" and "Your Favourite". Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S5 E1 · Tue, March 10, 2020
Patch #61 - At What Level Should You Refill Someone's Glass Of Water? ft. Tony Martin
Episode 1 of Season 5 features the hilarious Tony Martin. We discuss where it's permissible to park when visiting a friend's home; preparing acceptance speeches for an award and the politics of refilling other people's glasses of water at a restaurant. With the return of Mr Minute, Forgive Me Father and Really Good. You can listen to Tony Martin's Sizzletown through your favourite podcast app. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E16 · Tue, February 04, 2020
Patch #60 - Season 4 Retrospective (Part 2)
It's the final Patch of Season 4 and we can't wait to get away from your clingy little ears! Christian confronts Dion about a recent phone call; we dissect if a text message is enough to dismiss the burden of communication; driving in convoys; how should you walk past someone who is seated at an event and another story from Nonno's Vege Patch. With very special guests Oh Wow, Copy Cat and House Music In The House of Commons. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E15 · Tue, January 21, 2020
Patch #60 - Season 4 Retrospective (Part 1)
Looking back through the eyes of Season 4, Christian, Dion and Josh discuss sitting at communal tables; having someone comment on your haircut; Johnny from Cardiff; Patchword Of The Day and a Rooibos Challenge. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E14 · Tue, January 07, 2020
Patch #59 - Can You Ask Staff At A Venue To Charge Your Phone? ft. Sammy J
Our very special guest this episode is the multi-talented Australian comedian and composer, Sammy J. Do venues need to cater for customers who need their phones charged? Do you prefer to read a number or have it read to you? Do you have a distinct strategy for buffets? With Scrolling Through Time, Forgive Me Father and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E13 · Sun, December 22, 2019
Patch #58 - A Very Patchwork Christmas 2019
Christian reflects on his Christmas Party Escape Room; Josh wonders whether a bill should be split evenly in all circumstances; and Dion seeks tree decoration advice. Featuring Ho Ho of the Week, a Christmas Radio Announcement and Timmy Visits Santa 2019. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E12 · Tue, December 10, 2019
Patch #57 - Should You Offer Your Bed To An Overseas Guest?
How much hospitality should you show an overseas guest? Under what circumstances can you ask to stay in someone's house whilst travelling? How many hands should you eat a burger with? Featuring Really Good, Plate or Bowl and Copy Cat. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E11 · Tue, November 26, 2019
Patch #56 - Does A Long Message Require An Equally Long Response?
Do you need to be pleasant to friends you've bumped in to if you're in a rush? Do long messages always require proportionately long responses? When do you need to give up your seat on public transport? Featuring Really Good and a very special advert from Solymar Pioneers. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E10 · Tue, November 12, 2019
Patch #55 - Is It Better To Leave A Small Tip Or No Tip At All?
Should you always close the door when you're in the toilet? Do dinner plans require a time and venue to be officially confirmed? Is it better to leave a small tip or no tip at all? With very special guests Scrolling Through Time and Josh finds The Drop. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E9 · Tue, October 15, 2019
Patch #54 - Should You Clean Up Whilst Cooking Or After The Meal?
Christian, Dion and Josh dream about their dream change room, discussing the dynamics of group conversation, Josh gets in character and finds the drop, Dion adds another chapter to his search for the perfect barber and finally should you clean up while cooking or after the meal? With very special guests Oh Wow and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E8 · Tue, October 01, 2019
Patch #53 - What Do You Owe Someone Who Gives You A Lift?
Would you share your lottery winnings? How about if the ticket was bought for you? Can you refuse to lend a book to a friend? Do you owe anything to the person giving you a lift? With very special guests Scrolling Through Time and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E7 · Tue, September 17, 2019
Patch #52 - Should You Cut Off Someone Who Is Repeating A Story?
Dion freezes under the pressure of an overflowing beer; cutting off someone who is repeating a story; Christian picks a fresh story from Nonno's Vege Patch and Dion's European Rooibos Challenge. With special guests Oh Wow and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E6 · Tue, September 03, 2019
Patch #51 - Can An Object Save Your Spot In A Line?
Can you let yourself into someone's house? Can a personal item save your place in a queue? And how long can you leave that item there before you lose your spot? Will you pay for an audio guide at a gallery? With special guests, Plate Or Bowl?, Sneezing Through Time and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E5 · Tue, August 20, 2019
Patch #50 - How Many Chips Should You Take From A Packet Offered To You?
Dion reflects on 50 episodes with his favourite barber. How many chips should you take from a packet offered to you? Can you use the milk from a communal kitchen for cereal? With special guests, Scrolling Through Time, Forgive Me Father and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E4 · Tue, August 06, 2019
Patch #49 - How Much Hospitality Do You Show A Tradie?
Did you go on theme park rides as a child? How long should you suck on hard candy? How much hospitality do you show a tradesperson? With special guests, Oh Wow and of course, Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E3 · Tue, July 23, 2019
Patch #48 - Where Should You Use A Small Hot Towel?
Should you share roll on deodorant with someone else? Where should you use a small hot towel? Do you tuck in your sheets? With special guests, Scrolling Through Time and a new friend, Plate or Bowl. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E2 · Tue, July 09, 2019
Patch #47 - Do You Need To Play Host For Your Housemate's Guests?
Performing the perfect scooch manoeuvre; what to do with a wet tram seat and playing host for your housemate's guests. Featuring Oh Wow, Really Good and Tim Allen. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E1 · Sun, June 23, 2019
Patch #46 - How Much Underwear Should You Pack For A Holiday?
In the first Patch for Season 4, Christian, Dion and Josh discuss packing for overseas holidays; when you should ask someone how their day's been and the efficacy of wearing a good looking, broken watch. Featuring special guests, Oh Wow of the Week, Scrolling Through Time and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Our first ever live show is available to stream and watch. You can listen via your every day podcast app or you can watch us on YouTube HERE Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E17 · Tue, June 18, 2019
Live Patch #1: Should You Print Out Tickets For Live Events?
Recorded live from The Grace Darling Hotel on May 25 2019. For the first time in front of a live audience, Christian, Dion and Josh discuss being photogenic, printing out tickets for live events, washing down food with a drink and their 'pillow situation'. With very special guests, Forgive Me Father and a LIVE AUDIENCE! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S4 E1 · Tue, June 11, 2019
Season 4 Trailer
Season 4 returns on Wednesday June 26! If you're craving some new WTP right now, head over to our Patreon for the FULL VIDEO of our first live recording from The Grace Darling Hotel in Melbourne (patreon.com/welcometopatchwork) Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E16 · Tue, April 30, 2019
Patch #45 - Season 3 Retrospective (Part 2)
Our final episode for Season 3. Featuring an unfunny friend's hilarious response; Dion suffers the chimes of Christian's cascading alarms and the link between gifts and events. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E15 · Tue, April 16, 2019
Patch #45 - Season 3 Retrospective (Part 1)
Christian, Dion and Josh reflect on the Season 3 that was. Dissecting their poor hygiene, double-dipping and learning to stack the dishwasher. Featuring very special guest, Microbiologist Mark to serve Welcome to Patchwork a Petrie dish full of Season 3 corrections. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E14 · Tue, March 26, 2019
Patch #44 - How Many Tissues Do You Pull From The Box? ft. Alex Dyson
With very special guest, Alex Dyson! Featuring Christian's failing green thumb, issues with tissues and hiding your spare keys for guests. Alex has a podcast with Kyran Wheatley called Mirth ! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E13 · Tue, March 12, 2019
Patch #43 - Do You Sign The Back Of Your Credit Card?
Christian takes a deep dive into smelling better, decoding washing machines and signing the back of credit cards. Plus Forgive Me Father, Oh Wow and of course, Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E12 · Tue, February 26, 2019
Patch #42 - Can You Refuse To Catch Up With A New Friend?
Christian sweats over his water bottle, refusing to catch up with new friends and Josh wonders how many reminders you need to give people before an event. Plus Quick Quiz, Oh Wow and of course, Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E11 · Tue, February 12, 2019
Patch #41 - Is There A Limit To Partner Sleepovers?
Josh takes advantage of the facilities, skipping the queue and the limits to housemate sleepovers. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E10 · Tue, January 29, 2019
Patch #40 - Should You Call Out An Unfunny Friend?
Josh keeps a text message close to his chest, a cross to the Australian Open broadcast and presenting a funny video to a friend. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E9 · Tue, January 15, 2019
Patch #39 - Do You Trust GPS Over Local Road Knowledge?
Josh tries to find Dion's hidden bar, trusting GPS directions, the Hubba Hubba Rooibos challenge and Forgive Me Father. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E8 · Tue, December 18, 2018
Patch #38 - A Very Patchwork Christmas 2018
A Patchwork Christmas special featuring the return of Timmy and Santa, saying goodbye at gatherings and interacting with children. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E7 · Tue, December 04, 2018
Patch #37 - Should You Take The Elevator To The First Floor?
The final instalment of Mr Minute, elevator chat, Dion's deception and disappointing actions by restaurants. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E6 · Tue, November 20, 2018
Patch #36 - Do You Wake Up As Soon As Your Alarm Goes Off?
Signing legal documents for friends, setting alarms in the morning and employee name tags. With special guests Mr. Minute and Wheelie Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E5 · Tue, November 06, 2018
Patch #35 - Can Your Partner Also Be Your Best Friend?
Patchword of the Day, the last time you dropped your phone and the concept of food envy. With special guests Mr Minute and Really good! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E4 · Tue, October 23, 2018
Patch #34 - How Long Should You Keep A Birthday Card? ft. Andy Lee
Featuring Andy Lee from the Hamish & Andy duo, blinking in photos, birthday cards and the Andy-pasto. With very special guests Forgive Me Father, Mr Minute and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E3 · Tue, October 09, 2018
Patch #33 - Did Your Parents Cut Off Your Crusts?
Featuring Josh eating an apple cutting the crust and answering questions about your holiday. With special guests, Mr. Minute and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E2 · Tue, September 25, 2018
Patch #32 - Should You Store Your Cups Upside Down?
Tales from Tasmania; Dion tries sleeping in a hostel and how to store your cups. With special guests Mr Minute and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S3 E1 · Tue, September 11, 2018
Patch #31 - How Many Biscuits Is It OK To Eat In One Sitting?
Christian's Apple watch purchase and Josh's biscuit eating habits. With special guests Mr Minute, Do You Remember? and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E17 · Tue, July 10, 2018
Patch #30 - Season 2 Retrospective (Part 2)
#MugQuest, Dion's increasing frustration with Google Home, our discussion about the party pop-in pops back in and the Curry, No Hurry Cross-Examination. With very special guests Oh Wow of the Week and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E16 · Tue, June 26, 2018
Patch #30 - Season 2 Retrospective (Part 1)
The Patchwork host cheatsheet, we revisit email signatures and what to do with mail that's not yours. With a special retrospective-style take on Oh Wow of the Week and Really Good, plus Josh vs. Google; our final Rooibos Challenge for the Season. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E15 · Tue, June 05, 2018
Patch #29 - Quick Sew Melbourne
Josh's Bone to Pick with a listener, the Patchwork hosts get dressed up, debating Dion's deliberate misappropriation, getting out of conversations and our thoughts on gyms. With very special guests Oh Wow, Really Good and Baby Boomers Booting Up. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E14 · Tue, May 22, 2018
Patch #28 - Detective Sass
Christian and Dion's defining tram ride, Pythagoras pulls the short stick; being distracted on tours, taking photos with celebrities, leaving notes for strangers and Josh does some investigating. With very special guest, Oh Wow, Really Good and some Patchwork Nursery Rhymes. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E13 · Tue, May 08, 2018
Patch #27 - I'd Subscribe To That
Dion's chilling discoveries, Christian leverages a favour and we discuss the best ways to tell someone to shut the f**k up. With very special guests, Oh Wow, Really Good and the final instalment of Curry, No Hurry. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E12 · Tue, April 24, 2018
Patch #26 - The Metrics of Cancelling Plans
The lesser of two carbonated evils, getting trapped by the Offside rule, Patch #24 gets reviewed, the metrics of cancelling plans and Part 2 of Curry No, Hurry. With very special guests, Oh Waleed of the Week and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E11 · Tue, April 10, 2018
Patch #25 - Curry, No Hurry
The Highs and Lows of Josh's Great Social Experiment; Murphy's Buttered Toast, the Future of Cigarette Packaging and Part 1 of another Christian epic, 'Curry, No Hurry.' With very special guests, Really Good, Oh Wow and Trent's Rooibos Challenge. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E10 · Tue, March 27, 2018
Patch #24 - Everybody Eats My Hummus ft. Andy Matthews
This week and we're joined by comedian, writer, "Two In The Think Tank" podcast host and mug recipient Andy Matthews. Featuring Patchwork catering, a visit from the Thompsons and Andy forgets to turn on Petrol Station mode. With very special guests Oh Wow, Show and Tell and Really Good. Andy's Podcast: 'Two In The Think Tank' http://stupidold.com.au/podcast Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E9 · Tue, March 13, 2018
Patch #23 - Chrìstians Sans Frontières ft. Laura Dunemann
Melbourne based comedian, Laura Dunemann, visits the WTP studios to discuss her very concrete fear of flying, fighting over the front seat and kissing fruit. With very special guests Oh Wow, Show N Tell and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E8 · Tue, February 27, 2018
Patch #22 - A Bin's A Bin's A Bin
The A to Zincs of living a healthy lifestyle, dealing with cluttered inboxes and Josh, again, proves frugal with his approval. With very special guests Oh Wow, Forgive Me Father and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E7 · Tue, February 13, 2018
Patch #21 - Going Cold Chappie
Christian can't let silence sit, Dion can't stop blinking and Josh tells us about his experiences going cold chappie. Featuring specials guests House Swap, Oh Wow and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E6 · Tue, January 30, 2018
Patch #20 - Flapping Soles
Josh’s attitude to takeaway food containers, Dion gets his shoes repaired, Josh and Dion confront their friend Jackson, paying for meals, a new Rooibos Challenge, Oh Wow of the Week and Really Good! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E5 · Tue, January 16, 2018
Patch #19 - "OK, Butler"
Christian uses Google Home for the first time, we discuss our toilet habits and transitioning to adulthood, Christian wins a competition he never entered, Dion opens the door on an unsuspecting victim. Plus, Oh Wow of the Week and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E4 · Tue, January 02, 2018
Patch #18 - Very Meshy Shorts
Christian and his friend bring holy bread to a music festival, meshy shorts, ruggers, and what constitutes underwear, unfriending someone on Facebook, and Christian whimps out. Plus Forgive Me Father, Oh Wow of the Week and Really Good! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E3 · Tue, December 19, 2017
Patch #17 - A Very Patchwork Christmas
In this special Christmas Patch, Josh gets no love from a girl at Officeworks, we chat about our Christmas experiences, including gift giving and visiting Santa, with special guests Oh Ho of the Week and Really Good! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E2 · Tue, December 05, 2017
Patch #16 - Unfit For Human Habitation
Dion visits Christian's Italian Grandparents house, Josh attempts to get repairs done in his rental house, we discuss if you should wait for your friend to enter their house after dropping them off, as well as if there are too many hellos and goodbyes in the world. Also featuring regulars 'Oh Wow of the Week' and 'Really Good' Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S2 E1 · Tue, November 21, 2017
Patch #15 - Leave A Message If You Wish
Dion dirties Christian’s car, the perfect voicemail message, The Confessional, discussing life’s routines including sleeping and clipping nails, and of course, Really Good! Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E15 · Wed, October 04, 2017
Patch #14 - Season 1 Retrospective (Part 2)
Dion's mum reviews Patchwork, revisiting dirty laundry protocol, childhood bedrooms, becoming a man, revisiting bullying, Oh Wow of the Week, Rooibos Challenge, Christian as an Extra again and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E14 · Wed, September 20, 2017
Patch #14 - Season 1 Retrospective (Part 1)
Christian tells us about his ethnic upbringing (again), we revisit gift-giving, Josh hosts a houseparty, a sketch that didn't make the cut, Monotoly returns, Sah Great and a different take on 'Really Good' and a very special guest. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E13 · Wed, August 30, 2017
Patch #13 - The Adventures of Car Man and Computer Boy
What to do when your fly is undone, have food in your teeth or notice clothes tags showing, conventions relating to sneezing and bless you, the Mattress Story, rules for “Established In”, Oh Wow of the Week and Really good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E12 · Tue, August 15, 2017
Patch #12 - A Full Tank Of Rock
Josh sells stuff on Gumtree, Burgo's Storage Unit, A Casual Quest, Christian's infamous escapade, Mad Lifts, sustainability and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E11 · Wed, August 02, 2017
Patch #11 - No Gifts Means No Gifts
High School band practice, Josh mispronouncing Dion's name, Oh Whoaw Of The Week, Tinder and online dating, Magazines, Uber Greets, The Rooibos Challenge, Gift Giving and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Music credit for "Uber Greets" sketch: Allada Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com). Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E10 · Wed, July 19, 2017
Patch #10 - How To Pickup A 65 Year-Old CEO
Christian’s eventful tram ride, Mad Lifts, Dion tries to pick-up a dad, The Rooibos Challenge, A Casual Quest at the Ski-fields, Gandhi and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E9 · Tue, July 04, 2017
Patch #9 - Lovely Leathery Juice
The Rooibos Challenge, A Casual Quest, Christian in a cafe, Dion takes an Uber, where we keep our dirty clothes, Josh has 12 pairs of jeans and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E8 · Wed, June 21, 2017
Patch #8 - Dreaming of Chinese Starfish
Dream analysis, Monotoly, overseas call centres, complaining to companies, Mad Lifts, stealing lemons and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E7 · Wed, June 07, 2017
Patch #7 - In Defence of Gelato Messina
Dion finally cleans his car, we visit Gelato Messina, discuss luxury products and premium water, Christian gets star-struck, clothes shopping with Josh’s mum, plus Monotoly and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E6 · Wed, May 24, 2017
Patch #6 - The Pinball Wizard
Christian’s first experience with online bullying, Mad Lifts, interacting with shop assistants, babies, booster seats and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E5 · Wed, May 10, 2017
Patch #5 - Semi Flexitarian
A strange goodbye, being unemployed, Christian the Extra, social sports, stealing Josh's hat, boyfriend fashion, food labels, fetishes, the Apex Gang and Dion encounters an annoying voice. With very special guests Really Good and Monotoly (Cinema). Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E4 · Wed, April 26, 2017
Patch #4 - The Watermelon Diaries
Dion’s messy car, using the bathroom at work, talking to strangers, the holy trinity of Watermelon stories, eating food from stranger’s plates, stealing from supermarkets and dictators. With very special guests Really Good and New School Courtyard. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E3 · Wed, April 12, 2017
Patch #3 - Beautiful Italian Tomatoes
Featuring oral hygiene, Christian’s tomatoes, when to eat expired food, buying new clothes and unaccountable professions. With very special guests, Monotoly (Butcher Shop), Really Good and a live Patchwork Travel sketch. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E2 · Wed, March 29, 2017
Patch #2 - Tongue Bucket
Sneaking things into sports events, global economics, Christian’s unhealthy obsession with candles, buying alcohol as kids, Dion's mannequin hands and Christian's infamous speech impediment. With very special guests Monotoly (Grocery Store), Really Good and a live sketch about adults at children's parties. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
S1 E1 · Sat, March 04, 2017
Patch #1 - Long Haired Women
Hairdressers and dentists, bullying, camping, the automation of jobs and Dion the doyen. Christian, Dion and Josh kick-off Season 1. With very special guests Monotoly (Bank) and Really Good. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Trailer · Tue, February 28, 2017
Patch #0 - Welcome to "Welcome To Patchwork"
Welcome! Don't know what episode to listen to first? Start here! Patches are released every second Wednesday. Want more Patchwork? For a few dollars a month you can support us, get an extra mini-patch every-second week and get access to behind-the-scenes videos. Visit https://linktr.ee/welcometopatchwork for more info and links to our social media. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/welcometopatchwork See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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