No Return
No Return: An Audio Drama by Kier ZhouEnjoy yourself in the chaotic, fantastical world of "No Return," where the worldbuilding ambition rivals Robert Jordan, the humour channels Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams, and the violence echoes Tom Sharpe—all wrapped in the indie punk aesthetic of a one man band making content on a laptop powered by a potato.This full cast comedy fantasy spans a diverse array of tales:- Clumsy Divine Quests: Join researchers on accidental divine missions.- Mercenary Chaos: Witness comedic clashes between mercenaries and foreign warships.- Eerie Mysteries: Delve into the haunting search for lo...
Bonus · Sun, April 27, 2025
Bonus Content: Fate of Daya: Herrand and Mikhael
Send us a text With the Vashjek Inaia leaving... The Orillian Regiment Brigadier has some words for them... Support the show
S7 E14 · Sun, April 20, 2025
14: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: Need You Aid?
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales HOLY SHIT IS THAT A LERNIAN QUAD!?! I guess you should probably listen to find out! Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
S9 E6 · Sun, April 13, 2025
6: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Setting Shadow
Send us a text We do sure talk a lot of Lern on No Return... how about some content where the Lernians actually appear for once! Drakon: Dontae Majors Kerren: Stuart Bullock Iskra: Ren @Renovershares Irht: Kat McQueen Heliokyna: Rae Witte Dowager: Lilly Inverse Ignatius: A J Fidalgo Aegisa: Daniellelanois Rael: Cameron Gergett Loads of Extra Characters : Kier Zhou Typhonkratos: Chris RR Bauso Gidia: Gemma Maclean-Mair Thurkearix: Glenda Villimar Rael: Cameron Gergett Hogyn: Kier Zhou Malikor: Ray O'Hare Content Warnings: Violence and Magical Combat : Contains scenes of intense magical combat, explicit violence, physical abuse, and death. Discrimination : Depictions of slavery, caste systems and ableism. Psychological Intensity and Emotional Abuse : Features high-stress situations, psychological manipulation, emotional abuse, and threats of peril. Disturbing Imagery : Includes descriptions of bodily transformations, injuries, and torture. Mental Health Triggers : Portrays panic, distress, and abusive language, which might be triggering for some viewers. Threats and Lethal Challenges : Characters face lethal environments and situations with explicit threats of death and cruelty. Join Us On Discord! Support the show
S9 E5 · Sun, April 06, 2025
5: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Setting Sun
Send us a text We do sure talk a lot of Lern on No Return... how about some content where the Lernians actually appear for once! Drakon: Dontae Majors Kerren : Stuart Bullock Iskra: Ren @Renovershares Irht: Kat McQueen Heliokyna: Rae Witte Dowager: Lilly Inverse Ignatius : A J Fidalgo Aegisa: Daniellelanois Rael: Cameron Gergett Loads of Extra Characters : Kier Zhou Typhonkratos: Chris RR Bauso Gidia: Gemma Maclean-Mair Thurkearix: Glenda Villimar Rael: Cameron Gergett Hogyn: Kier Zhou Malikor: Ray O'Hare Content Warnings: Violence and Magical Combat : Contains scenes of intense magical combat, explicit violence, physical abuse, and death. Discrimination : Depictions of slavery, caste systems and ableism. Psychological Intensity and Emotional Abuse : Features high-stress situations, psychological manipulation, emotional abuse, and threats of peril. Disturbing Imagery : Includes descriptions of bodily transformations, injuries, and torture. Mental Health Triggers : Portrays panic, distress, and abusive language, which might be triggering for some viewers. Threats and Lethal Challenges : Characters face lethal environments and situations with explicit threats of death and cruelty. Join Us On Discord! Support the show
S9 E4 · Sun, March 30, 2025
4: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Setting Stage
Send us a text We do sure talk a lot of Lern on No Return... how about some content where the Lernians actually appear for once! Drakon: Dontae Majors Kerren : Stuart Bullock Iskra: Ren @Renovershares Irht: Kat McQueen Heliokyna: Rae Witte Dowager: Lilly Inverse Ignatius : A J Fidalgo Aegisa: Daniellelanois Rael: Cameron Gergett Loads of Extra Characters : Kier Zhou Typhonkratos: Chris RR Bauso Gidia: Gemma Maclean-Mair Thurkearix: Glenda Villimar Rael: Cameron Gergett Hogyn: Kier Zhou Malikor: Ray O'Hare Content Warnings: Violence and Magical Combat : Contains scenes of intense magical combat, explicit violence, physical abuse, and death. Discrimination : Depictions of slavery, caste systems and ableism. Psychological Intensity and Emotional Abuse : Features high-stress situations, psychological manipulation, emotional abuse, and threats of peril. Disturbing Imagery : Includes descriptions of bodily transformations, injuries, and torture. Mental Health Triggers : Portrays panic, distress, and abusive language, which might be triggering for some viewers. Threats and Lethal Challenges : Characters face lethal environments and situations with explicit threats of death and cruelty. Join Us On Discord! Support the show
S9 E3 · Mon, March 24, 2025
3: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Seeds of Severance
Send us a text This is a pilot and I would greatly appreciate feedback! We do sure talk a lot of Lern on No Return... how about some content where the Lernians actually appear for once! Drakon: Dontae Majors Kerren : Stuart Bullock Iskra: Ren @Renovershares Vizier/Special Representative : Kier Zhou Irht: Kat McQueen Heliokyna: Rae Witte Dowager: Lilly Inverse Content Warnings: Violence and Magical Combat : Contains scenes of intense magical combat, explicit violence, physical abuse, and death. Discrimination : Depictions of slavery, caste systems and ableism. Psychological Intensity and Emotional Abuse : Features high-stress situations, psychological manipulation, emotional abuse, and threats of peril. Disturbing Imagery : Includes descriptions of bodily transformations, injuries, and torture. Mental Health Triggers : Portrays panic, distress, and abusive language, which might be triggering for some viewers. Threats and Lethal Challenges : Characters face lethal environments and situations with explicit threats of death and cruelty. Join Us On Discord! Support the show
S9 E1 · Mon, March 17, 2025
2: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Seeds of Struggle
Send us a text This is a pilot and I would greatly appreciate feedback! We do sure talk a lot of Lern on No Return... how about some content where the Lernians actually appear for once! Drakon: Dontae Majors Ignatius : A J Fidalgo Aegisa: Daniellelanois Kerren : Stuart Bullock Iskra: Ren @Renovershares Rael: Cameron Gergett Headmaster Jareth/Student/Herald/Councillor Branton: Kier Zhou Irht: Kat McQueen Heliokyna: Rae Witte Typhonkratos: Chris RR Bauso Content Warnings: Violence and Magical Combat : Contains scenes of intense magical combat, explicit violence, physical abuse, and death. Discrimination : Depictions of slavery, caste systems and ableism. Psychological Intensity and Emotional Abuse : Features high-stress situations, psychological manipulation, emotional abuse, and threats of peril. Disturbing Imagery : Includes descriptions of bodily transformations, injuries, and torture. Mental Health Triggers : Portrays panic, distress, and abusive language, which might be triggering for some viewers. Threats and Lethal Challenges : Characters face lethal environments and situations with explicit threats of death and cruelty. Join Us On Discord! Support the show
S9 E1 · Mon, March 10, 2025
1: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Seeds of Strife
Send us a text This is a pilot and I would greatly appreciate feedback! We do sure talk a lot of Lern on No Return... how about some content where the Lernians actually appear for once! Drakon: Dontae Majors Ignatius: A J Fidalgo Aegisa: Daniellelanois Kerren: Stuart Bullock Gidia: Gemma Maclean-Mair Iskra: Ren @Renovershares Thurkearix: Glenda Villimar Rael: Cameron Gergett Hogyn/Fara: Kier Zhou Coronation Elder 1: Dylan Smith Coronation Elder 2: Lauren Deakin Content Warnings: Violence and Magical Combat : Contains scenes of intense magical combat, explicit violence, physical abuse, and death. Discrimination : Depictions of slavery, caste systems and ableism. Psychological Intensity and Emotional Abuse : Features high-stress situations, psychological manipulation, emotional abuse, and threats of peril. Disturbing Imagery : Includes descriptions of bodily transformations, injuries, and torture. Mental Health Triggers : Portrays panic, distress, and abusive language, which might be triggering for some viewers. Threats and Lethal Challenges : Characters face lethal environments and situations with explicit threats of death and cruelty. Join Us On Discord! Support the show
Trailer · Fri, March 07, 2025
Call to Arms! Kingdom of Lern Pilot.
Send us a text Hey everyone! We are super excited to announce the release of the pilot episodes of The Kingdom of Lern over the next few weeks! We would REEEEALLY appreciate your feedback on this story before we go into full production. Use the 'Text us' function hear in the show notes, the comments on Spotify or, hells, join us on Discord to discuss! Join Us On Discord! Support the show
Bonus · Mon, March 03, 2025
Bonus Content: Fate of Daya: Ceannaí and The Brigadier
Send us a text Ceannaí chooses an inopportune moment to approach the (very sweary) Brigadier of the Orillian Regiment! Support the show
S7 E13 · Tue, February 25, 2025
13: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: We All Died For Daya!
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales They have faced a feinting force. They have faced insurgents in the city. They have faced the mysterious machinations of Alaric Sylwraith and they have faced the political arena of the colleges. But now the Warlords are here to play for real. Will the party be able to muster the motley band of Sun and Moonshields to defend the city walls against a prepared and disciplined force? I guess you should probably listen to find out! Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
Bonus · Mon, February 10, 2025
Bonus Content: Fate of Daya: The Vashjek Inaia
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales Herrand and Tran contemplate what is to come... Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Support the show
S7 E12 · Mon, February 03, 2025
12: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: Everything Is Totally Normal!
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales Jorvin rations the city and bestows Swifty with a new title. Swifty puts Delicate Hammer through 'the trials' and Salryn speaks with the Vashjek Inaia. Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
Bonus · Thu, January 16, 2025
Bonus Content: Fate of Daya: Ceannaí
Send us a text Ceannaí plots in the shadows. Support the show
S7 E11 · Tue, January 14, 2025
11: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: The Clothes Maketh The Man..
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales Vita is dead... the city is still under attack... what will our heroes do? Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
Bonus · Mon, January 13, 2025
Bonus Content: The Regiment at Daya: Part 4
Send us a text Did you know the Orillian Regiment were at Daya? Then you have been paying close attention! The Boys return to see the aftermath of the Warlord's feint. Cpl Gavin Fern- Dylan Smith L/Cpl Hupsu Tommo- Jack Duncan Sgt Malcolm Rigby - Girunduu Support the show
S2 E11 · Mon, December 09, 2024
11: The Orillian Regiment: That's The Way He’d Want To Go!
Send us a text Gazi struggles to make friends with the Red Shirts... Colonel Wilifred struggles to put the evidence together... Gnilfeit and Third continue their battle... Tommo gets a touching moment... | Chermise Vermillion | Dragonbait | Dag'r | Lilly Inverse | Deky | Cameron Gergett | Gazi | Graham Capobianco | Gnilfeit | Krissi Williams | Layna Jareg | Rae Witte | Major | Chris (One Wall) | Olda| Anne Marie Lebeau | Rufus Sark | Chris (One Wall) | Sushila | Loretta Chang | Tommo | Jack Duncan | Von Overton | Rachel Pulliam | Wilifred | Ed Craggbarber Support the show
S2 E10 · Mon, November 11, 2024
10: The Orillian Regiment: He's Not Going To Make It, Is He?
Send us a text Gazi and Von Overton return to the lines just in time for the fight back... Von Overton receives some bad news. Luobo leaves Dagrun at the Row and goes looking for the Guard Commander. Tommo gets some peculiarly timed grief from one of his Vir. | Anan | Skyler Giordano | Bezeroa | Tyler Moody | Chermise Vermillion | Dragonbait | Dag'r | Lilly Inverse | Dagrun | Kier Zhou | Deky | Cameron Gergett | Door Man| Graham Capobianco | Gazi | Graham Capobianco | Ivanic | Justin Fife | Jinu | Anna Gąsecka, also known as Ren_Overshares | Kane| Tyler Moody | Layna Jareg | Rae Witte | Luobo | James Hart | OR Guard | Tyler Moody | OR LT | AJ FidLAGO | Rufus Sark | Chris (One Wall) | Sendat | Rae Witte | Sharp | Kier Zhou | Tommo | Jack Duncan | Von Overton | Rachel Pulliam | Wedder | Chris (One Wall) | Wilifred | Ed Craggbarber Support the show
Bonus · Mon, October 07, 2024
The Lore of No Return!
Send us a text Hey all! I am not going to clog up the No Return feed with all this crazy worldbuilding, but for those who are interested: The Lore of No Return will have it's own feed where I nerd out in detail (but not too much detail!) about Erset La Tari and the No Returniverse more generally. If you hate it, fear not! I won't be dropping more of it on here! But if you like it, you can find it on Spotify : Support the show
S8 E2 · Tue, September 03, 2024
2: The 2teg: Are You Sure You're Not Just Really, Really, Really Ill?!
Send us a text Wow, the 'old fashioned approach' really is much easier to follow. But... I mean... dead men showing up contrary to every rule in the book.. selective memory from the prime suspect... I'm not buying it. Samael Vine/Rayan/Matthias Alaric/Weiguan- Kier Zhou Lars Xu- Blake White Scurlott Tupou- Marta Hodgson Gnilfiet/Lucca- Krissi Williams Leda- Lilly Inverse Elyra Lightfoot- Abbie Jordan-Tickle Cole Lumbo- Chris RR Bauso Selwyn Janicek – Stasi Dimitrova ig Niillas Janicek – Dylan Smith Lady Isolde- Lauren Littlewood Brother Absalom- Girunduu Luobo Ironside- James Hart Ang Von Overton- Rachel Pulilam Dallen Gersia- Daniellelanois Zafar - Christian Maclean-Mair Support the show
S8 E1 · Sun, June 16, 2024
1: The 2teg: It's Like Dranekian Theatre!
Send us a text Thank the silent gods! We have finally dropped that insane story telling device (literally) and now we can get to the bottom of what is happening with some good old fashion interrogation! Commander Vine/Matthias Alaric/Rayan/Saurians: Kier Zhou Domina Elyra Lightfoot: Abbie Jordan-Tickle Nyalie Alaric: Glenda Villimar Constable Lucca/D'Brie: Krissi Williams Lt Lars Xu - Blake White Cole Lumbo P.I: Chris RR Bauso Selwyn Janicek: Stasi Dimitrova ig Niillas Janicek: Dylan Smith Anzhlo: Matt Evans Yvonna Isolde: Lauren Littlewood Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Death/Dying - Implied Sexual Themes Support the show
S7 Enull · Fri, April 19, 2024
743$736: FeedError: Part Seven.
Send us a text Original release date 20 Apr 2024 I've fixed this bloody thing three times now! Why is it being so weird!? I think we might have to drop this story telling conceit if it carries on any longer... Cole Lumbo - Chris RR Bauso Elyra Lightfoot - Abbie Tickle Matko- AJ Fidalgo (AKA Mr F) Vasa - Lilly Inverse Selwyn Janicek- Stasi Dimitrova ig Zafar- Christian Maclean-Mair Support the show
S6 E4 · Wed, April 03, 2024
4: Mageslayers: Who Sh*t In Your Büno?!
Send us a text Whilst most of the party try to advance the plot and explore a little lore, Dec and Lif's antics derail the story. Want to learn more about Terrq and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Written by Kier Zhou and Jack Duncan Addison De Ara - Laura Duncan Shain Sotalach - Adam Robinson Descartamelius (Dec) Go’orbulle - Dylan Smith Nanda Nall- Justin Fife Cinte Micheart- Gemma Maclean-Mair Nikol Ashorn - Cameron Gergett Phaetra Coi- Daniellelanois Seilbh- Krissi Williams Pogrim Pogglefield- Jack Duncan Flavian (Jaggerz) Jagari- Girunduu Biksune Ree- Taylor Michaels Gorluk The Inspired- Graham Capobianco Support the show
S6 E3 · Tue, April 02, 2024
3: Mageslayers: It May Already Be too Late, Eunuch Boy!
Send us a text The Mageslayers head to the ancient city of Reach in the Terrq'n Mountains to investigate their mysterious artefact! Want to learn more about Terrq and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Written by Kier Zhou and Jack Duncan Addison De Ara - Laura Duncan Shain Sotalach - Adam Robinson Descartamelius (Dec) Go’orbulle - Dylan Smith Nanda Nall- Justin Fife Cinte Micheart- Gemma Maclean-Mair Nikol Ashorn - Cameron Gergett Phaetra Coi- Daniellelanois Seilbh- Krissi Williams Pogrim Pogglefield- Jack Duncan Flavian (Jaggerz) Jagari- Girunduu Librarian- Kier Zhou Biksune Ree- Taylor Michaels Sister Jiaomei- Lyssa Jay Support the show
S6 E2 · Mon, April 01, 2024
2: Mageslayers: Revenge of the Cult Teens Of Terrible Darkness
Send us a text The story continues! Written by Kier Zhou and Jack Duncan Addison De Ara - Laura Duncan Shain Sotalach - Adam Robinson Descartamelius (Dec) Go’orbulle - Dylan Smith Nanda Nall- Justin Fife Cinte Micheart/Silda Grass- Gemma Maclean-Mair Mr Grass - Robb Clark Nikol Ashorn - Cameron Gergett Phaetra Coi- Daniellelanois Seilbh- Krissi Williams Pogrim Pogglefield- Jack Duncan Flavian (Jaggerz) Jagari- Girunduu Magekid -Ryan Andrew Dillon Dark Mistress- Kiyana Morgan @KiChanVA Gore Drinker - Girunduu Keith- Kier Zhou Support the show
S6 E1 · Sun, March 31, 2024
1: Mageslayers: This Time, It's Me!
Send us a text This is a story about heroes. No, that’s too much. This is a story about what it takes to make a hero. Welcome to Erset La Tari, the Land of No Return! This strange and mysterious realm teeters ever on the verge of disaster, barely having survived the apocalyptic world curses! But from the ashes rose the Treaty of Budan and the nations of La Tari achieved a hard won peace. The starving were fed, calamitous war averted and a safe and prosperous zone established. But there were those who opposed the treaty- who chafed at silken shackles of peace. Villains who sought power at the expense of the land’s very survival! These vile ne'er do wells found power in the study of dark magicks and used their martial prowess to enslave their neighbours- forcing them to toil under a repressive yoke to further their selfish hunger for dark esoteric knowledge. So vast became the gap between the power of these villains and those of the forces of peace that the nations were forced to once again band together commissioning a fellowship of heroes, of champions, to meet the crisis head-on. Each a master of their respective art, willing and ready to meet these wicked casters in battle if and when the need arose. This is a story of heroes and what it takes to make a hero. So turn back ye faint of heart! For I tell no word of a lie: Shit gets fucked really fast! Written by Kier Zhou and Jack Duncan Addison De Ara - Laura Duncan Shain Sotalach - Adam Robinson Descartamelius (Dec) Go’orbulle - Dylan Smith Captain Competent- Kier Zhou Nanda Nall- Justin Fife Cinte Micheart- Gemma Maclean-Mair Nikol Ashorn - Cameron Gergett Phaetra Coi- Daniellelanois Seilbh- Krissi Williams Pogrim Pogglefield- Jack Duncan Flavian (Jaggerz) Jagari- Girunduu Preacher- Graham Capobianco Mage Dad- Jim Tuohy Magekid -Ryan Andrew Dillon Dark Mistress- Kiyana Morgan @KiChanVA Gore Drinker - Girunduu Keith- Kier Zhou Support the show
S6 Enull · Wed, January 31, 2024
74310v3e5: FeedError: Part Six.
Send us a text Yep.... yep... definitely in need of repairs... Originally published 26 Feb 2024 Samael Vine : Kier Zhou Niillas Janicek : Dylan Smith Selwyn Janicek : Stasi Dimitrova ig Paela : Dragonbait Matko : AJ Fidaglo AKA Mr F Vasa : Lilly Inverse Support the show
S7 E10 · Sun, January 14, 2024
10: Actual Play: Fate of Daya: You Wouldn't Believe Me, Even If I Told You...
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales Can Alaric talk his way out of this one? Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
S7 E9 · Sat, January 13, 2024
9: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: I Am Quite Concussed!
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales Jorvin and Swifty investigate Alaric. The Party reunites to see Vita. Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
S7 E8 · Fri, January 12, 2024
8: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: What Manner Of Gobsh**e Is This!?
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales The battle for the streets ends...the battle for the city begins. Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
S7 E7 · Thu, January 11, 2024
7: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: Keep That Blade Sharp, Yeah.
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales Salryn rises to the occasion! Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
Bonus · Wed, January 10, 2024
Bonus Content: The Regiment at Daya: Part 3
Send us a text Did you know the Orillian Regiment were at Daya? Then you have been paying close attention! The Boys meet the enemy in battle and put up a good fight... but their reinforcements are taking too much time... Cpl Gavin Fern- Dylan Smith L/Cpl Hupsu Tommo- Jack Duncan Sgt Malcolm Rigby - Girunduu Jiloat Levi - Connor Hodgson Support the show
S7 E6 · Wed, January 10, 2024
6: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: If You Have To Step Up, You Step Up
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales Will Salryn rise to the occasion? Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
S7 E5 · Tue, January 09, 2024
5: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: I Require It, Nonetheless
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales An assassin in the warehouse, a mysterious character under the temple, and a useless commander of the guard- the story continues. Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
S7 E4 · Mon, January 08, 2024
4: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: "What Do We Do?"
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales The city burns, the farms burn and the enemy army is marching towards them… what will our heroes do? Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
Bonus · Mon, January 08, 2024
Bonus Content: The Regiment at Daya: Part 2
Send us a text Did you know the Orillian Regiment were at Daya? Then you have been paying close attention! The Warlord's troops arrive on the Eastern shore of the Nuur. Cpl Gavin Fern- Dylan Smith L/Cpl Hupsu Tommo- Jack Duncan Sgt Malcolm Rigby - Girunduu Warlord Captain - Kier Zhou Support the show
S7 E3 · Sun, January 07, 2024
3: Actual: Play: The Fate of Daya: The Battle of Nuur
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales Our heroes thought the war was over…but the battle has come to familiar shores. Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
Bonus · Sat, January 06, 2024
Bonus Content: The Regiment at Daya: Part 1
Send us a text Did you know the Orillian Regiment were at Daya? Then you have been paying close attention! Cpl Gavin Fern- Dylan Smith L/Cpl Hupsu Tommo- Jack Duncan Sgt Malcolm Rigby - Girunduu Ice Cream Seller - Kier Zhou Support the show
S7 E2 · Sat, January 06, 2024
2: The Fate of Daya: The Adventurers and The City
Send us a text Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Gamesmaster provided by Hearthfire Tales All seems well in Daya and the war is finally going the right way! Daya’s Army and it’s allies are marching to the destruction of the warlords who have plagued the land for almost a century. Hope is in the air, a new future just on the horizon… nothing could possibly go wrong. Welcome to our vibrant world where gods have abandoned mortals and an intriguing adventure awaits you. Uncover the secrets of the city of Daya together with our exceptional players - Cameron, Gemma, and Jack and, our amazing GM, Dylan (Kier is also present). Follow us as we navigate through Daya’s bustling streets and uncover the city's complex dynamics. We introduce Jack's character, a gentleman in patchwork armour with an intriguing morning ritual and a peculiar fixation on barrels. Meet Gemma’s character, a half-nix, ex merc, member of the Moon Shields! And Cameron’s character! A noble son from the lands to the west, down on his luck and forced to thieve to feed his need for fine clothes! Want to learn more about Vash and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
S7 E1 · Fri, January 05, 2024
1: Actual Play: The Fate of Daya: What is an Actual Play?
Send us a text Hey all! We, here at No Return, are returning to our roots! As some of you may know, Erset La Tari; The Land of No Return, began life as a 'homebrew' Table Top Role Playing Game (TTRPG) setting. Thanks to the immense talents of Dylan Smith (GM of Hearthfire Tales , as well as the voice of Sergeant Gavin Fern and Niillas Janicek on No Return) we are able to bring No Return to you in the form of a TTRPG Actual play. Co- Gamemastered by Dylan and Kier Zhou and played by the recognisable vocal talents of Jack (Tommo), Gemma (Ysenda, Thae Oraen & Cinnte) and Cameron (Amghar, Jyce Inacio, and the new voice of Deky and Ayelen). We are truly excited to bring the world of No Return to you in a more improvised, player led and spontaneous format where the players decisions and the whims of the dice will decide 'The Fate of Daya'. Jorvin De Ghast: Cameron Gergett @Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink Salryn Ilanora : Gemma Maclean-Mair ‘ Swifty ’: Jack Duncan GM : Dylan Smith Support the show
Trailer · Mon, August 14, 2023
Mageslayers!
Send us a text "Anderkant doesn't make sense and it's boring!" So have a trailer for a new comedy series set in the No Return Universe. Support the show
S5 Enull · Fri, September 30, 2022
743$736: FeedError: Part Five.
Send us a text Sorry guys... the LUDEN is still malfunctioning! Constable Lucca- Krissi Williams Constable D'Brie - Maddie Williams Matthias Alaric/Rayan - Kier Zhou Lt Lars Xu - Blake White Selwyn Janicek: Stasi Dimitrova ig, Bones of the Land Niillas Janicek -Dylan Smith, Heartfire Tales Support the show
Bonus · Thu, September 29, 2022
Bonus Content: The Last To Leave
Send us a text The final days of the last age were filled with sadness...but for some... cosmic calamity was new... Across many worlds and many lands, amongst many creatures... The Fall brought many ends and many beginnings... these are the tragic words of 'One of Many', 'The Last to Leave'. One of Many: Justin Fife Angau: Kier Zhou Support the show
S5 E8 · Sun, September 11, 2022
8: Anderkant: You Truly Know Nothing!
Send us a text Min explores the temple. The Lessee has a fiery reunion. Herrand tries to walk a tight rope. Gnilfiet drinks some soup! Want to learn more about Anderkant, the Kabouters and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Gnilfeit- Krissi Williams Thae Oraen - Gemma Maclean Mair Everyone else- Kier Zhou Content Warning: - Torture - Violence - Lazy Crazy Oversexed Goddess Trope Support the show
S5 E7 · Sun, September 11, 2022
7: Anderkant: I Have No Idea What's Happening!
Send us a text Are you finding Anderkant confusing and difficult to follow? Well how do you think Min feels?! Min finally makes it to Anderkant and encounters one of it's denizens. Gnilfeit makes gets more involved with the Lessee's plans... H keeps manipulating our hapless hero. Want to learn more about Anderkant, the Kabouters and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Gnilfeit- Krissi Williams Thae Oraen - Gemma Maclean Mair Miner 1 - Adam Robinson Miner 2 - Stuart Bullock @Thisisbardcore Everyone else- Kier Zhou Support the show
S5 E6 · Sat, September 10, 2022
6: Anderkant: I Just Want Out...
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! Patreon Who is 'H'? Who is The Lessee? Who is this enigmatic sister?...Well...actually...if you've been listening to the other stories and bonus episodes...you might be able to figure out the latter... and the former... This episode follows our villain's backstory and begins to unravel the mystery of what they are really up to with the Anderkant Project. Be prepared...it...gets...weird. Want to learn more about Anderkant, the Kabouters and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Content Warning: -Foul Language -Death...lots of death... - Violence...lots of violence... - Mind Control - Extortion - Hostage Gnilfiet : Krissi Williams H/Tran/Min/Billy/Tran/Torriq/Lessee/Teresa/Everyone else : Kier Zhou Support the show
S5 E5 · Thu, September 08, 2022
5: Anderkant: It Was The Leps!
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! Patreon Min runs for his life to escape the darkland creatures- only to begin running out of air...is this our hero's final goodbye? Want to learn more about Anderkant, the Kabouters and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Death/Dying Support the show
S5 E4 · Wed, September 07, 2022
4: Anderkant: I Can Carry It!
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! Patreon Sounds of movement in the dark spook our trapped pioneers. The Lessee's sister visits with warnings and 'H' finally convinces Min to head into Anderkant...but boy does that Kabouter like to dilly-dally... Want to learn more about Anderkant, the Kabouters and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Gnilfiet: Krissi Williams Support the show
Bonus · Mon, September 05, 2022
Bonus Content: The Bards of Sada Emedu
Send us a text It's not all doom, gloom and adventure in Erset La Tari- especially not in the Emeduan capitol. Sit down, listen and enjoy a little low stakes comedy-drama from the Bards of Sada Emedu. Lanlen is played by Stuart Bullock @Thisisbardcore Ered Rada is played by Connor Hodgson @JC_Twosteps/ http://jcandthetwosteps.co.uk/ Celia Joyce is played by Abbie Tickle. Putrack Winesworth is played by Mario Guttadauro The Dry Egg's Master of Ceremonies is played by Kier Zhou The Emeduan Hymn (Lyrics) were written and performed by Kier Zhou with strangled crowd vocals by Ying Zhou and Nieves Cohen Era of Silence is written by Gemma Mclean-Mair and performed by Abbie Tickle and Gemma McLean-Mair. This is Not a Warning! is written and performed by Stuart Bullock This is My Goodbye (lyrics)- were written and performed by Connor Hodgson Support the show
S5 E3 · Sun, September 04, 2022
3: Anderkant: I Said Don’t! Interrupt!
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! Patreon The Lessee shows his true colours and the Specialist pays the price. Min and 'H' spend some time staring at the stars. Want to learn more about Anderkant, the Kabouters and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Death/Dying - Suicide Support the show
S5 E2 · Sat, September 03, 2022
2: Anderkant: Please, Call Me 'H'
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! Pa https://patreon.com/NoReturnAD treon Trapped and alone in the Darklands, Min considers his options. Want to learn more about Anderkant, the Kabouters and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Death/Dying Support the show
S5 E1 · Fri, September 02, 2022
1: Anderkant: I Can't Do This.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! Patreon Journey into the deepest depths of the Darklands. Want to learn more about Anderkant, the Kabouters and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Death/Dying Support the show
Trailer · Thu, September 01, 2022
Anderkant Trailer
Send us a text I think the title of this episode says it all… Support the show
Bonus · Thu, September 01, 2022
The Saga Of Thadene Orillian: Part Five.
Send us a text The Saga of Thadene Orillian forms the founding mythos of the peoples of the North Hub and is referenced regularly in the No Return universe. Listen and enjoy to the Lyrical Poems which form The Saga. Please excuse the self-indulgent academic analysis. Support the show
S4 Enull · Fri, July 29, 2022
743$736: FeedError: Part Four.
Send us a text These bloody LUDENs! This one is on the fritz...but wait... is that Lars and The Dockmaster?! Introductory Speaker: Stuart Bullock Captian Luobo: James Hart Lieutenant Lars Xu: Blake White Theodore DeLafontaine/Random Guard 1/Random Guard 3: Girunduu Commander Vine/Dockmaster Alaric/Baron Halywyn/Wieguan: Kier Zhou Grok (The Crimson Gammon): Adam Robinson Jyce Inacio: Cameron Gergett Kareth: Glenda Villamar Random Guard 1: Danielleanois Support the show
Bonus · Fri, July 15, 2022
The Saga Of Thadene Orillian: Part Four.
Send us a text The Saga of Thadene Orillian forms the founding mythos of the peoples of the North Hub and is referenced regularly in the No Return universe. Listen and enjoy to the Lyrical Poems which form The Saga. Please excuse the self-indulgent academic analysis. Support the show
S4 E4 · Mon, July 11, 2022
4: The Ansa Enclave: It Appears We Are Being Watched.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 As Tal and Helga argue something or someone approaches the camp. Helga- Brenna Anderson-Dowd (@The_WitchyWoman) Saryn- David Wandelt (www.DavidWandelt.com) Ayelen- Luke Scowen (@duderooni) Tal- Kier Zhou Yav- Poppy Hodgson Robin - Oliver Hodgson Written & Produced- Kier Zhou, Introduction Music by Abbie Jordan Tickle & Gemma Maclean-Mair Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Child in Peril - Violence - Death/Dying - Kidnapping Support the show
S4 E3 · Wed, July 06, 2022
3: The Ansa Enclave: Everything is Good, If You Stay with Me.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! Patreon The party rest and chat after days of sleepless searching, little do they know how close is their quarry. Yav and Robin make their way through the brush, and things start to get stranger. Want to learn more about Lern, Emedu and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Helga- Brenna Anderson-Dowd (@The_WitchyWoman) Saryn- David Wandelt (www.DavidWandelt.com) Ayelen- Luke Scowen (@duderooni) Tal- Kier Zhou Yav- Poppy Hodgson Robin - Oliver Hodgson Written & Produced- Kier Zhou, Introduction Music by Abbie Jordan Tickle & Gemma Maclean-Mair Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Child Peril - Violence - Death/Dying - Kidnapping - Racism (Fantasy analogue) Support the show
S4 E2 · Sun, July 03, 2022
2: The Ansa Enclave: Into the Wildland.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! Patreon Tal, Helga, Saryn and Ayelen enter the Wildlands against the advice of the Township looking for the missing children. Want to learn more about The Ansa Enclave and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Helga- Brenna Anderson-Dowd (@The_WitchyWoman) Saryn- David Wandelt (www.DavidWandelt.com) Ayelen- Luke Scowen (@duderooni) Tal- Kier Zhou Yav- Poppy Hodgson Robin - Oliver Hodgson Written & Produced- Kier Zhou, Introduction Music by Abbie Jordan Tickle & Gemma Maclean-Mair Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Racism (Fantasy analogue) - Peril - Child Peril - Death/Dying - Kidnapping Support the show
S4 E1 · Sat, July 02, 2022
1: The Ansa Enclave: Lorrin and The Kerret.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! Patreon Young Lorrin returns home after being missing in the Wilds and is being tight-lipped about what happened out there. Will the story of how the Kerret found it's teeth be enough to convince him to speak? Want to learn more about The Ansa Enclave and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Ru - Girunduu Tal- Kier Zhou Lorrin- Matthew Zhou Written and produced by Kier Zhou Content Warning ⚠️: - Implied child peril Support the show
Trailer · Fri, July 01, 2022
The Ansa Enclave: Primer
Send us a text The Ansa Enclave is set on the eastern edge of the North Hub, well outside of the safe zone and deep into the Wildland. Ansa has been seen as vital to the fight against the Wilds for generations, but as Emedu and the wider safe zone de-stabilise, the implications for Ansa could be catastrophic. There is no requirement to listen to the Ansa Enclave before any other story but characters and events in this story will intersect with the others later. Support the show
Bonus · Thu, June 30, 2022
The Saga Of Thadene Orillian: Part Three.
Send us a text The Saga of Thadene Orillian forms the founding mythos of the peoples of the North Hub and is referenced regularly in the No Return universe. Listen and enjoy to the Lyrical Poems which form The Saga. Please excuse the self-indulgent academic analysis. Support the show
Bonus · Wed, June 29, 2022
The Steg: Part Three.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Content warnings: Violence, Death, Discrimination, Criminal activity. This story follows Lucca, as she is transferred to the Investigations Department, where she navigates a new culture and a peculiar boss. We are also introduced to Dockmaster Matthias Alaric as he navigates the macabre demands of his employment alongside his hopes for his children. Constable Lucca- Krissi Williams Cyril Alaric - Apollo Williams Occial Alaric- Griffin Williams Constable D'Brie - Maddie Williams Commander Vine/Theras/Elvire/Bulgan/Rayan/Matthias Alaric - Kier Zhou Lt Lars Xu - Blake White Constable Zafar- Christian Maclean-Mair Support the show
S3 E10 · Mon, June 13, 2022
Finale: Wide-End: Less Than An Animal!
Send us a text Part one concludes. The part of Anzhlo was played by the magnificent Matt Evans Lady Yvonna was played by the luminous Lauren Littlewood Brucco was voiced by the charming Christian Maclean-Mair Ysenda was acted by the ever graceful Gemma Maclean-Mair Chura and The Domina were played by the accomplished Abbie Jordan-Tickle Fuzhlo was played by the Dazling Dontae Majors Turzhlo was played by the Daring Drew Hupfa B and, on occasion, Kier Zhou Orryn was voiced initially by the magnificent Mario Guttedauro and later Kier Zhou Mikkel was played by the audacious Adam Robinson Tobin was played by the sensational Sophie Spoof Gnilfiet was reprised by charismatic Krissi Williams Semion Quietknife was embodied by the indefatigable Dave Hodgson Saurian 1 was played by Lilly Inverse Saurian 2 was played by Taylor Michaels Saurian 3 was played by AJ Fidaglo AKA Mr F Saurian 4 was played by Lyssa Jay and Everyone else was played by the Knuckle Dragging Kier Zhou Except for Kerren Nadar who was played by the sagacious Stuart Bullock… . But wait… Kerren Nadar? The Lernian? He wasn’t in this was he? The name is familiar but did the character show up? Hmmm… probably a post credit scene then right? Support the show
S3 E9 · Sun, June 12, 2022
9: Wide-End: I Shall Deliberate...
Send us a text It. Gets. Real. The part of Anzhlo was played by the magnificent Matt Evans Lady Yvonna was played by the luminous Lauren Littlewood Brucco was voiced by the charming Christian Maclean-Mair Ysenda was acted by the ever graceful Gemma Maclean-Mair Chura and The Domina were played by the accomplished Abbie Jordan-Tickle Fuzhlo was played by the Dazling Dontae Majors Turzhlo was played by the Daring Drew Hupfa B and, on occasion, Kier Zhou Orryn was voiced initially by the magnificent Mario Guttedauro and later Kier Zhou Mikkel was played by the audacious Adam Robinson Tobin was played by the sensational Sophie Spoof Gnilfiet was reprised by the charismatic Krissi Williams Semion Quietknife was embodied by the indefatigable Dave Hodgson Saurian 1 was played by Lilly Inverse Saurian 2 was played by Taylor Michaels Saurian 3 was played by AJ Fidaglo AKA Mr F Saurian 4 was played by Lyssa Jay and everyone else was played by the Knuckle Dragging Kier Zhou Support the show
Bonus · Sat, June 11, 2022
Bonus Content: The Parable of Elra and the Whispering Willow
Send us a text Why did Semion keep calling The Domina, 'Elra'? Is it because my Dad doesn't know how to pronounce the 'Y' in Elyra? No! It references an ancient Halfling Fable from long before the Fall... And also because Dad doesn't know what ys are for... things can be multiple things... okay? Enjoy! Narrator: Faye Holliday Elra: Anna Gąsecka, also known as Ren_Overshares or @Ren_Cant Mrs Pottersby: Faye Holliday Malvin: AJ Fidaglo AKA Mr F Elder Thorne: Chris RR Bauso Elder Mara: Lilly Inverse Mage: Umbriels Shadow Villager: Taylor Michaels Villagers: The Cast Written, produced and edited by Kier Zhou Support the show
S3 E8 · Sat, June 11, 2022
8: Wide-End: Someone In This Family Needs To Dare!
Send us a text Brucco and Ysenda get closer. Anzhlo's plans begin to come together. The Little Luiren Families are getting involved. Brucco- Christian Maclean-Mair Ysenda -Gemma Maclean-Mair Chura/Elyra Lightfoot- Abbie Jordan-Tickle Anzhlo - Matt Evans Saurians/Erik Isolde- Kier Zhou Yvonna Isolde- Lauren Littlewood Turzhlo: Drew ‘hupfva’ B Support the show
Bonus · Fri, June 10, 2022
7: Wide-End: Letter Number Four.
Send us a text A reply to letter three. Support the show
S3 E6 · Wed, June 08, 2022
6: Wide-End: Swimming in the Endless Sea.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! Patreon Anzhlo recalls his time in the camp and his run ins with Fuzhlo. Yvonna secures permission for the Saurians to stay. Brucco and Yvonna get closer. Semion takes a stroll around Wide-End Want to learn more about Lern, Emedu and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Anzhlo: Matt Evans Yvonna: Lauren Littlewood Semion Quietknife: Dave Hodgson Fuzhlo: Dontae Turzhlo: Drew ‘hupfva’ B Ysenda: Gemma Maclean- Mair Brucco: Christian Maclean-Mair Sister Always: Glenda Vilimar Everyone else: Kier Zhou Support the show
Bonus · Mon, June 06, 2022
5: Wide-End: Letter Number Three.
Send us a text A response to Letter Number Two Support the show
S3 E4 · Mon, June 06, 2022
4: Wide-End: Let's See What All The Fuss Is About, Shall We?
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Brucco returns to the camp and Lady Isolde attempts to befriend Anzhlo. Fuzhlo and Gnilfeit meet with Semion Quietknife. Anzhlo- Matt Evans Yvonna Isolde- Lauren Littlewood Erik Isolde- Kier Zhou Brucco- Christian McLean-Mair Ysenda - Gemma McLean-Mair Orryn- Kier Zhou Fuzhlo- Dontae Majors Chura- Abbie Jordan-Tickle Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Death/Dying - Explicit Sexual Themes - Reference to Drug Use Support the show
S3 E3 · Sat, June 04, 2022
3: Wide-End: Letter Number Two.
Send us a text A response to letter number one. Support the show
S3 E2 · Fri, June 03, 2022
2: Wide-End: Bloody Ungrateful Creatures
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! Patreon The Isoldes get a surprise visit late in the night, Brucco finds the Rain Chapel camp less than welcoming. Want to learn more about Lern, Emedu and the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Anzhlo- Matt Evans Yvonna Isolde- Lauren Littlewood Erik Isolde- Kier Zhou Brucco- Christian McLean-Mair Ysenda - Gemma McLean-Mair Orryn- Mario Guttadauro Captain Ironside- James Hart Fuzhlo- Dontae Majors Chura- Abbie Jordan-Tickle Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Death/Dying - Kidnapping - Reference to Drug Use Support the show
S3 E1 · Thu, June 02, 2022
1: Wide-End: Letter Number One.
Send us a text Support the show
Trailer · Wed, June 01, 2022
Wide-End: Primer
Send us a text Wide-End, set in the West of the Capitol Sada Emedu in the weeks and months after the start of the rebellion. As the old wealth and power holders become less secure in their futures and, the downtrodden and forgotten seek new opportunities to rise- they collide and coalesce around the wealthy borough of Wide-End. These events occur before the arrival of the Barque in 1: The Orillian Regiment & 1: The Steg. There is no requirement to listen to the stories in season order but characters from this story will appear later in others and so it wouldn't hurt to start your exploration of the city here. Support the show
Bonus · Tue, May 31, 2022
The Saga Of Thadene Orillian: Part 2
Send us a text The Saga of Thadene Orillian forms the founding mythos of the peoples of the North Hub and is referenced regularly in the No Return universe. Listen and enjoy to the Lyrical Poems which form The Saga. Please excuse the self-indulgent academic analysis. Support the show
Bonus · Mon, May 30, 2022
The Steg: Part Two.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Jiloat and Scurlott relive their return to Emedu and the horrors of the Nunyus Gap as they try to escape the Capitol. Lars and Lucca continue their investigation by speaking to the dead. Lt Lars Xu - Blake White Lucca - Krissi Williams Elyra Lightfoot- Abbie Tickle Rada and Ash - Stuart Bullock @Thisisbardcore Jiloat Levi - Connor Hodgson Scurlott - Marta Hodgson Skyler Giordano - Gerant (The Official) Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Implied PTSD - Death/Dying - Sexual Themes Support the show
S2 E9 · Mon, May 16, 2022
9: The Orillian Regiment: There Is Nothing But Harmony In The Row!
Send us a text We flashback in time to give you all the context you were missing! Anan- | Skyler Giordano Dag'r - | Lilly Inverse Kova Dagrun- | Kier Zhou Deky- | Cameron Gergett Gav- | Dylan Smith Gazi- | Graham Capobianco Guildmaster- | Girunduu Ivanic- | Justin Fife Jarna - | Daniellelanois Jinu - | Ren @Ren_Cant Kane- | Tyler Moody Kongol- | OneWallChris Luobo- | James Hart Mal- | Girunduu Olda- | Anne Marie Lebeau OR Guard- | Tyler Moody Sam - | Kier Zhou Sendat- | Rae Witte Sharp- | Kier Zhou Sushila- | Loretta Chang Theras- | Dr Lou Sutcliffe Tommo- | Jack Duncan Von Overton- | Rachel Pulliam Colonel Wilifred- | Ed Craggbarber 99 Problems was performed by Stuart Bullock @Thisisbardcore DiceAndDesire | Twitter, Instagram | Linktree Support the show
S2 E8 · Sat, May 14, 2022
8: The Orillian Regiment: I Told You, Didn't I?
Send us a text Original Release Date: 22 Apr 2024 Episode Art by Jim Tuohy Jim Tuohy Art Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Death/Dying The Guard Commander refuses to explain. The Colonel takes drastic action. Gazi and Von Overton head to the Aventine. The captured boys encounter old 'friends' and 'family'. Sharp has to deal with the political fall out. Gnilfiet confronts Third. Cpl Deky - Cameron Gergett (Recap played by Luke Scarrow) Tpr Hupsu Tommo- Jack Duncan Tpr Nuori Gazi- Graham Capobianco Sgt Gavin Fern - Dylan Smith Sgt Malcolm Rigby - Girunduu Col. Wilifred- Edmund Cragg-Barber Ang Von Overton - Rachel Pulliam (Recap played by Angela Yih) Gnilfeit- Krissi Williams Theras O'Phil- Dr Lou Sutcliffe Sushila Tommo - Loretta Chang Dag'r Tommo - Lilly Inverse Olda Tommo - Anne Marie Lebeau Violet Marshall Ivanic - Justin Fife Guard Commander Samael Vine/Third - Kier Zhou Support the show
S2 E7 · Fri, May 13, 2022
7: The Orillian Regiment: Well, You Might Well Have Killed Us All!
Send us a text The Boys return and things get dangerous! CSgt Malcom Rigby- Girunduu (@Girunduu) Sgt Gav Fern - Dylan Smith (@DylanandDragons) Cpl Dek Ana- Cameron Gergett (@Cameron_Gergett/@JasperZoink) Constable Ang Von Overton- Rachel Pulliam Captain Luobo Ironside - James Hart Tpr Gazi - Graham Capobianco Tpr Tomo - Jack Duncan Col Wilifred- Edmund Cragg-Barber Sgt Mjr Kova Dagrun- Kier Zhou Gnilfeit- Krissi Williams Anan - Skyler Giordano Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Death/Dying Support the show
S2 E6 · Thu, May 12, 2022
6: The Orillian Regiment: These Barbarians!
Send us a text The next chapter in the journal of the Chief Signalman of the HNS Deliverance. Support the show
S2 E5 · Thu, May 12, 2022
5: The Orillian Regiment: An All Singing, All Dancing One.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Gav and Mal finally get the prisoner back to Colonel Wilifred. Deky, Tommo, Gazi and Von Overton engage the enemy. Dagrun and Luobo prepare a surprise from the skies... Col. Wilifred- Edmund Cragg-Barber Gav- Dylan @DylanandDragons Mal- Girunduu @Girunduu Gazi - Graham Capobianco Deky - Luke Scarrow @Duderooni Tommo - Jack Duncan Von Overton- Angela Yih @Girlmadeofjade Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Death/Dying - Kidnapping Support the show
S2 E4 · Mon, May 09, 2022
4: The Orillian Regiment: You’re Military? You Sound Military.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Mal and Gav find themselves in a spot of bother in The Row whilst Deky and the Troopers prepare for battle. Gav- Dylan @DylanandDragons Mal- Girunduu @Girunduu Performer 1 - Aaron @Zed1Pod Performer 2- Katie @Zed1Pod Door Man - Graham Capobianco Anan- Skyler Giordano Gazi - Graham Capobianco Deky - Luke Scarrow @Duderooni Tommo - Jack Duncan Von Overton- Angela Yih @Girlmadeofjade Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Kidnapping - Sexual references Support the show
Bonus · Sat, May 07, 2022
Bonus Content: The Soldier, The Skinner And The Weasel
Send us a text What was all that nonsense about a weasel!? Here is the story . Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Mild Peril Support the show
S2 E3 · Fri, May 06, 2022
3: The Orillian Regiment: The Weasel Bit It!
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 The boys find themselves in trouble as they try to navigate the streets of the capitol. CSgt Malcom Rigby- Girunduu (@Girunduu) Sgt Gav Fern - Dylan (@DylanandDragons) Cpl Dek Ana- Luke Scarrow (@Duderooni) Tpr Nuori Gazi - Graham Capobianco Tpr Hupsu Tomo - Jack Duncan Col Wilifred- Edmund Cragg-Barber Sgt Mjr Kova Dagrun- Kier Zhou Capt Luobo Ironside- James Hart Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Kidnapping Support the show
S2 E2 · Wed, May 04, 2022
2: The Orillian Regiment: It’s a Ship…Not a Boat.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Sergeant Major Dagrun and Contuburnium One receive their orders. CSgt Malcom Rigby- Girunduu (@Girunduu) Sgt Gav Fern - Dylan (@DylanandDragons) Cpl Dek Ana- Luke Scarrow (@Duderooni) Tpr Gazi - Graham Capobianco Tpr Tomo - Jack Duncan Col Wilifred- Edmund Cragg-Barber Sgt Mjr Kova Dagrun- Kier Zhou Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Death/Dying - Kidnapping Support the show
S2 E1 · Tue, May 03, 2022
1: The Orillian Regiment: HNS Deliverance.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 The following is an excerpt from the journal of Chief Signalman Olinwa Aora Galondel Nossiter. They were part of the Holy Mission to the North Hub. The Chief Signalman is presently missing in action and this document is marked for destruction. I have chosen to share it here, because it contains disturbing accounts of conduct by the Uruk Helots and our Presiding Patriarch. Please leave any questions until after the reading. Written and produced by Kier Zhou Content Warning ⚠️: - Peril - Monsters - Violence - Death/Dying Support the show
Bonus · Sat, April 30, 2022
The Saga Of Thadene Orillian: Part One.
Send us a text The Saga of Thadene Orillian forms the founding mythos of the peoples of the North Hub and is referenced regularly in the No Return universe. Listen and enjoy to the Lyrical Poems which form The Saga. Please excuse the self-indulgent academic analysis. Support the show
Bonus · Fri, April 29, 2022
The Steg: Part One.
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Lt Lars Xu's memories are played out by the Commander's LUDEN. Things are as muddled and confused as he promised... but he seems to be recalling a meeting with a mysterious woman in The Narrows and the start of the investigation into the attack at The Row...but REALLY! why does he keep narrating everything?! Lt Lars Xu - Blake White Lucca - Krissi Williams Commander Samael Vine - Kier Zhou Elyra Lightfoot- Abbie Tickle Leda - Angela Yih @Girlmadeofjade Rada and Ash - Stuart Bullock @Thisisbardcore Jiloat Levi - Connor Hodgson Scurlott Levi- Marta Hodgson Selwyn Janicek- Stasi Dimitrova ig Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Violence - Death/Dying - Implied Sexual Themes Support the show
S1 E8 · Fri, April 22, 2022
Finale: The Nymphaeum: This Is Going To Be A Lot Of Fun!
Send us a text All the characters finally arrive at The Puddle but it looks like someone is keen for a fight! Will Pekko reveal what the hell is going on? Honestly... probably not... Adrastea- Angela Yih @girlmadeofjade Gnilfiet- Krissi Williams The Dissident - Dr Loup Sutcliffe Ravi- Kier Zhou Content Warning ⚠️: - Violence - Threats of Violence -Threats of Cannibalism - Stupidity - Nudity - Tasteless Dick Jokes. Support the show
S1 E7 · Fri, April 15, 2022
7: The Nymphaeum: You Came From Somewhere Else?
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Ravi reflects on the benefits of death. Gnilfiet upsets Pekko. Adrastea: Angela Yih @GirlmadeofJade Ravi/Pekko: Kier Zhou The Dissident: Jak True @TrueJak Gnilfiet: Krissi Williams @xKrissix Support the show
Bonus · Thu, April 14, 2022
Bonus Content: Persona Non Grata
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Pekko tells a meandering story of 'the great cosmogony'. Gnilfiet listens impatiently waiting for her moment. Gnilfiet: Krissi Williams Pekko: Kier Zhou Support the show
S1 E6 · Tue, April 12, 2022
6: The Nymphaeum: This Isn't Fun Anymore...
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Ravi and The Dissident play catch up. Adrastea calls out Pekko and has her mind blown. She arrives. Adrastea: Angela Yih @GirlmadeofJade Ravi/Pekko: Kier Zhou The Dissident: Jak True @TrueJak Gnilfiet: Krissi Williams @xKrissix Ilkea: Maddie Williams Support the show
S1 E5 · Mon, April 11, 2022
5: The Nymphaeum: Damn! You're Fast!
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! Patreon The Dissident learns that much has changed since he died. Adrastea deals with the Berserkers and Pekko travels more memories. Want to learn more about the NoReturniverse? Why not check out The Lore of No Return Adrastea- Angela Yih Dissident- Jack True Ravi/Pekko/Bikhu Ram/Vayu- Kier Zhou Support the show
S1 E4 · Thu, April 07, 2022
4: The Nymphaeum: It's Best Not To Think Too Deeply About it...
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Ravi Returns, attempts to find Adrastea and makes a new friend. Pekko and Adrastea continue playing games en route to the puddle. A new threat emerges. Adrastea- Angela Yih @girlmadeofjade Gnilfiet- Krissi Williams The Dissident - Jak True (he/him) @jak_true Ravi- Kier Zhou Jerome - Dylan @DylanandDragons Bingo-Bangle - Jim @_QuiGonJim_ Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Mild peril - Death/Dying Support the show
S1 E3 · Tue, April 05, 2022
3: The Nymphaeum: A Quest, It Is!
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Pekko and Adrastea head off to 'The Puddle' to bring Ravi back to life, playing games, invading dreams and revealing big secrets en route to the their destination! Adrastea- Angela Yih @ GirlmadeofJade Pekko/Ravi - Kier Zhou Young Ravi - Matthew Zhou Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Peril - Child in peril - Death/Dying - Mention of miscarriage - Mention of still birth Support the show
S1 E2 · Fri, April 01, 2022
2: The Nymphaeum: We Don’t Need to Take a Thing!
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon, and get access to hours of bonus content! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 Brother Ravi and Sangha Adrastea investigate the mysteries of the universe and they are, quite frankly, dull. Brother Ravi/Pekko: Kier Zhou Sangha Adrastea: Angela Yih Content Warning ⚠️: - Foul language - Mild peril - Death/Dying Support the show
S1 E1 · Thu, March 31, 2022
1: Listen To This First: How The Show Works
Send us a text If you like the show, why not become a patron on patreon! https://patreon.com/NoReturn882 In light of recent feedback concerning the highly irregular release format that The Seminal Work 'No Return' has chosen to follow... Acclaimed Artist and Genius Kier Zhou... has asked me to release this statement... Support the show
Trailer · Sat, January 01, 2022
No Return: Whole Series Trailer
Send us a text Official Trailer for No Return Support the show
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