Thu, February 06, 2025

How to Build Self-Esteem

A leader suddenly hears how harshly she speaks to herself. Wanting help, she turns to her coach who gives her tools to build a practice of self-esteem.      The three self-esteem practices are: Self-Acceptance: Practice being FOR yourself Self-Worth & Happiness: Practice saying, “I am worthy of being happy” Live in Reality: Practice acknowledging what is and what is not. Download our free Feeling Words Grid. The Tools bin with other free resources is here. Four ways to help you live in reality: Respect facts Respect facts about yourself Interpretations are not facts Feelings are not facts Nathaniel Branden’s “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” is still a definitive work. Check out the 31-week sentence completion exercise in the back. Related categories in the library: Managing Yourself   Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Self-Talk Five related episodes: 241 - Conquering People Pleasing 209 - How to Build Self-Awareness 224 - How to Disarm a Trigger 242 - Mastering Nerves 231 - Staying Afloat in a Shitstorm Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.   Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.   Our monthly email – finally easy to subscribe to! Click here! CALLING ALL COACHES! Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We meet six times a year. Our first meeting in 2025 is Friday, February 14th, 9:00 am Pacific. 2025 Meeting Dates February 14 April 11

Thu, January 09, 2025

How to Build an Executive

A coaching client wonders what elements need to be present for someone to appear ‘executive.’ Two executive coaches ponder this question and come up with five elements they deem essential. Categories in the archive to explore: Developing New Behaviors Executive Presence Perception – How You’re Perceived Six episodes to dive into: 189 - Don’t Take Anything Personally 178 - Executive Presence – Three Pillars 168 - Influence 108 - Shouldering the Burden of Leadership 23 - Speed of Thought Download the Six Books for Growth here. Listen to “The Show Must Go On” episode, about a real-life on-stage catastrophe. Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.   Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.   More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. FOR COACHES: Michael Lewis’s podcast, “Against the Rules,” devotes its second season (2020) to all different types of coaching.  Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group . We meet six times a year. Our first meeting in 2025 is Friday, February 14th, 9:00 am Pacific. 2025 Meeting Dates Fridays, 9:00 – 10:30am Pacific February 14 April 11 June 13 August 8 September 12  November 14 Sponsored by ICF-LA Wishing us all compassion and grace in 2025. From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

Thu, December 05, 2024

How to Answer “Tell Us About Yourself”

A senior leader, upset about having flubbed her reply to ‘Tell us about yourself’ during a high-stakes interview, talks with her coach about how to prepare for what she considers to be an incredibly stupid question.  Categories in the archive to explore: Communication Skills Executive Presence Presentation Skills Six episodes to dive into: 34 - Keeping Repeated Materials Fresh 77 - The Power of Rehearsal 65 - Sorting & Labeling 180 - Becoming Expert 114 - Gravitas 124 - Personal Branding For help Sorting & Labeling, download the PDF. For help finding your three words, use our Needs & Values assessment. For a new way of thinking about interviewing: Interviewology, The New Science of Interviewing.” For career guidance, Michele Calderigi, head of Next Career, is a seasoned counselor. Lois Frankel’s Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office remains a favorite among senior women in the workplace. Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.   Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.   More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. Safe and sane holidays, everyone! from The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

Thu, November 07, 2024

How to Tackle Overtalking

A chief officer had known for years he was an over talker. His CEO, desperate for improvement, gave him a coach. This episode highlights their first coaching conversation.  Two mindsets from this episode: When you speak, have a destination in mind.  Ask yourself: “What is my point exactly?” and “Why is this something they need to know?” Pay attention to your listeners. Respond to their interests. Ask yourself: “Does what I’m talking about right now help us get to the destination?” If not, skip it. It doesn’t matter why you overtalk. Overtalking is limiting. Build your awareness of when you do it. Learn to ‘hear’ the communications you have. Who talked how long?  What were the smaller conversations within the larger communication? More tools to build your self-awareness and communication skills can be found in the Essential Communications bin and in the archive of all 16 years of the show. Build awareness browsing these categories: Self-Management Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Develop your communication skills in this category: Communication Skills Five Episodes to help your skills are: 53 - Answer What’s Asked 65 - Sorting & Labeling 20 - Staying on Track 11 - Sounding Executive 16 - Sounding Well-Spoken “Think Fast Talk Smart” podcast with Matt Abrahams. Great tools to help you be a better communicator. Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.   Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.   More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. Coaches! Download the results of ICF-LA’s pricing survey her

Thu, October 03, 2024

Building Listening

A vice-president gets kudos for likability but knocks for her inability to listen. With her coach, she talks about listening repeatedly. This episode features one of those conversations.  The 3 listening mindsets: Listen to learn Feelings are natural Stay separate Download the free multi-page learning tool about listening here.   This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast archive: Communication Skills Managing Yourself Relationship Building Five episodes you might listen to are: 136 -  A Breakdown of Listening 83 - Leadership and Listening 10 - Listen Without An Agenda 229 - The Sound of Leadership & Management - 2023 232 - Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence Coaches! Download the pricing survey here. Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We welcome coaches at every stage of development. Check us out here: If you’re curious about coaching, reach out to Tom here.   Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.   More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership , much gratitude! 

Thu, September 05, 2024

Mastering Anxiety

Battling perfectionism and anxiety, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a tool that helps her tame her terrors.  This episode dovetails with many ideas in last month’s episode about Coaching versus Therapy. Tom talks about his own bout with anxiety and a near career-ending attack of nervousness in this episode from April.  https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/mastering-nerves/ Pixar’s I nside Out 2 has a powerful depiction of a 13-year-old girl suffering a full-blown anxiety attack. The experience and its aftermath is moving. MindShift CBT is a free app designed to help you take charge of your anxiety and develop more effective ways of thinking.   Watch the introductory video Dr. Steven Melemis, a mood disorder expert, wrote I Want to Change My Life, filled with practical exercises and a one-month step-by-step plan to start you on a road to transformation. In under two minutes, Tom shared a “golden nugget” on the “How to Survive and Thrive Podcast.” You can hear it here. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast archive: For Women Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk Five episodes with more tools to help you master anxiety are: #52 Coaching v Therapy  #152 Combating Emotional Hijacks #147 Conquering Fear #96 The Many Parts of you #78 Unmasking a Stand-In Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.   Want a free transcript of this episode? You can download it here.  Every month we share more resources in our Essential News email. Sign up here. To all

Thu, August 08, 2024

Coaching versus Therapy

Tired of feeling like a fraud, a leader searches for help down different paths. She and her coach talk about how coaching is, and is not, like therapy. The leader in this episode wrestles with feelings of being a fraud. Tom talks about three resources to help manage that feeling: “The Executive Impostor”   Episode #176 of “The Look & Sound of Leadership” Self-Esteem at Work by Nathaniel Branden & Warren Bennis The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman Additional tools to support your professional development are these free PDFs from our Essential Tools bin: Johari Window Readiness in Coaching You can listen to Tom’s conversations on these two shows: “I Need at Coach” with Adam Packard  “Take Five” with Paul Butler This episode is tagged in four categories in our podcast archive: For Women Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk Four episodes, in addition to “The Executive Impostor” listed above, that will help you dive deeper into the ideas in this episode are: 52 - Coaching v Therapy   191 - Coaching Under Attack 78 - Unmasking a Stand In <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/taming-the-wild-child

Thu, July 11, 2024

Giving Upward Feedback

A leader and her coach discuss a three-step model for turning upward feedback into a learning conversation that might allow the boss to hear the message.  This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver the feedback effectively?  Download the free “Giving Upward Feedback” PDF. In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here’s the column he mentions. This episode is tagged in the library in three categories: Communication Skills Feedback Managing Up Five related episodes you might listen to are: 74 Dealing with Emotional Responses 14 Delivering Tough Feedback 32 Giving Powerful Feedback 118 Perception is Reality 99 The Disruptive Executive – Part One Be in touch with Tom here.   Grab a free transcript of the episode here.  We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership , thanks! 

Thu, June 06, 2024

Networking Conversations – Part Two

Knowing she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals, an ambitious leader asks her coach what a good networking conversation actually sounds like. Resources for Building Your Networking Skills Leverage the latest algorithm on LinkedIn with this research report . Coaching For Leaders podcast: “How to Grow Your Professional Network” Coaching For Leaders podcast: “Executive Presence with Your Elevator Speech” 10 Rules for Networking Link to 10 Rules of Networking PDF in Essential Tools bin Sorting & Labeling Link to Sorting & Labeling PDF in Essential Tools bin The Look & Sound of Leadership: “Assume Equality” The Look & Sound of Leadership: “Being Concise” This month’s episode is in the podcast archive in three categories: For Women Relationship Building Social Skills Five episodes to grow your networking skills:  162 - Acting on the Corporate Stage 180 - Becoming Expert 193 - Branding Yourself 176 - The Executive Impostor 192 - Pursuing a Promotion 2020 Grab a free transcript of this episode here.  Be in touch with Tom here. We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. Listen to Tom’s conversation with Scott Ritzheimer on <a href='https://www.scalearchitects.com/secrets/42-what-does-leadership-s

Thu, May 09, 2024

Networking Conversations – Part 1

An ambitious leader knows she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals. But, to her, networking feels slimy, so she asks her coach for help.  Some core concepts from this episode: The purpose of networking is to know people. Don’t target people. Nurture a relationship. Make networking 5% of your job every week. Networking makes you a more valuable employee. Show interest in the other person. No monologuing about yourself. Listen to Tom’s “Flow” and “Fall” stories on the Coaching Stories podcast with Dr. Sam Humphrey.  COACHES! Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You’ll get CCE’s, too! https://www.icfla.org/special-interest-groups-2/ Be in touch with Tom here. Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin including one called “10 Rules of Networking.”    This month’s episode is in the podcast archive in three categories: For Women Relationship Building Social Skills Five episodes to grow your networking skills:  42 - The Art of Chat 58 - Elevator Speeches 242 - Mastering Nerves 129 - Mentoring & Mentors 66 - Networking Tom also mentioned an episode called Conquering People Pleasing. Grab a free transcript of the episode here.  We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership , thanks! 

Thu, April 04, 2024

Mastering Nerves

Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned.  Tom’s Top Three Ideas for Mastering Nerves: Celebrate Incremental Improvement Write Happy Endings Ignore Your Nerves Here is the clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkN0sPQ76E0 Email Tom and tell him he’s crazy here. For Coaches! 2 Resources! 1.  Coaching Stories Podcast 2.  Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF-LA. CCE’s given! Tom’s conversations with Neha Singh on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast are here and here . Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin . This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories: Managing Yourself Nervousness Self-Talk Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies:  Act “As If” Choosing Persistence Conquering Fear The Executive Impostor The Many Parts of You Grab a free transcript of the episode here.  Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership , thanks!

Thu, March 07, 2024

Conquering People Pleasing

Angry at himself for continually putting others’ needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try.  Be in touch with Tom here. Listen to Tom’s conversations with Neha on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast here and here. Our Essential Tools bin has free resources to help you build your look and sound of leadership.   G.W. Bailey’s imdb page is here. This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories: For Women Managing Yourself Self-Talk Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies:  188 Boundaries 165 The Conflict Conversation 220 Holding Boundaries 219 How to Set Boundaries 116 Speaking Your Truth  Grab a free transcript of the show here.  Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership , thanks!

Thu, February 01, 2024

Finding Management Courage

A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too. The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement. Courage can be taught. Brené Brown created her Dare to Lead course for exactly that purpose. Ready to build your courage? Reach out to us here. Find more resources to build your skills in the podcast archive. Search these categories: Assertiveness Feedback Management Skills Five episodes you might listen to are: #47 Discussing Difficult Behaviors #18 Holding People Accountable #138 Managing Disruptive Executives #127 Managing Performance: Up or Out #65 Sorting & Labeling A free infographic for Sorting & Labeling is in our Essential Tools bin. Help yourself to that and all the others. Thinking about developing someone in your organization, or yourself? Reach out to Tom here. Grab a free transcript of the show here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership , thanks! #podcast #managingbadbehavior #leadershippodcast #leadershipchallenges  #behaviormanagement  #leadershiptips   #leadershipdevelopment  

Thu, January 11, 2024

5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists

A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers. In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who’s a Jerk.”  Tom’s wide-ranging conversation with Josh Dittmer can be found here. Free tools to support your professional development are in our Essential Tools bin. Please help yourself. Ready to explore coaching? Reach out to Tom here. Other episodes to help you manage yourself in difficult workplace relationshipsare: The Disruptive Executive – Part One The Disruptive Executive – Part Two Don’t Take It Personally Handling Defensive Behaviors The High-Maintenance Executive Looking for a transcript of the show? Download it here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. Thanks to all of you, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership .  Happy, healthy, safe new year!

Thu, December 07, 2023

Leading with Political Savvy – Part 2

Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture. Download our free Political Style Chart here. “The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Looking for a transcript of the show?  Read it here. More tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories: For Women Perception – how you perceive others Relationship Building Here are five episodes to help develop your political savvy: 188 - Boundaries 210 - How to grow your self-management 67 - “I hate politics” 142 - The Mindful Executive 121 - Your Goodwill Bank Account Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. Let us know how we can support you. Happy, healthy, safe new year. I look forward to being with you all in 2024. From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, Happy New Year! And thanks!

Thu, November 02, 2023

Leading with Political Savvy – Part 1

A leader feels stuck. She sees others winning resources she felt should have been hers, but she hates playing politics. What to do? Download our free Political Style Chart here. “The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics.  Many more tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories: Self-Talk Leadership For Women Here are five episodes to help develop your political savvy: 187 - Agreeable Disagreement 215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire 192 - Pursuing a Promotion 207 - Tough Conversations 67 - “I Hate Politics” Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here. JAPAN! Email me with your suggestions for what we should not miss in Japan this December! tom@essentialcomm.com Let us know how we can support you. Be kind to yourself. Things are rough out there! From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership ,  be well! And thanks!  

Wed, October 04, 2023

Building Consensus – Savvy or Sin?

A leader, surrounded by people she knows and trusts, can’t seem to get traction with them. In conversation with her coach, she discovers an unexpected cause. Tools for teams abound in this episode.  The four tools Tom suggests as first steps for helping your team openly discuss ideas are: Say ‘thank you’ when people offer an idea; Be curious; don’t dismiss ideas or people; Don’t take differences personally; it’s not about you; Develop your comfort with disagreement. The Gradients of Agreement tool supports the ideas in this episode. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like Sorting & Labeling. Additional tools for team growth mentioned in this episode are the classic Crucial Conversations and Tom’s conversation on The cATalyzing Podcast. This episode is in our podcast library in three categories: Communication Skills Leading Teams Management Skills Specific episodes that will help you develop your team are: Facilitating Open Dialogue How Teams Fight Leadership Behavior in Meetings Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta Questions as Leadership Taming Meetings  Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here. To those of you who post reviews, thank you so much for supporting the show. Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, from Tom and everyone at

Thu, September 07, 2023

The Conflict Resolution Wheel

A co-founder, at odds with his partner (also his best friend!), reaches out to his coach for help saving the business and the friendship.  The episode introduces The Conflict Resolution Wheel. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like the Feeling Words Grid. The Wheel is based on a tool in the Couple Communication course, a program to help you understand and connect with your partner better. The course’s workbook, Talking and Listening Together , is meant for self-study. It’s available for purchase online.  Another book Tom references in this episode is the classic Crucial Conversations . This episode is in our podcast library in three categories: Communication Skills Managing Yourself Relationship Building Five episodes that will help you continue to develop your conflict resolution skills are: Conflict The Conflict Conversation Creating Safety for Hard Talks A Difficult Conversation Resolving Conflict Every month our Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here. Thank you thank you thank you to those of you who post reviews. You make such a difference to us. Thanks for supporting the show! Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The L

Thu, August 03, 2023

Essential Skills that Shaped a Leader

A senior leader, having risen through the ranks, ends her coaching engagement by comparing notes with her coach about the skills that have helped her most.  This episode identified seven essential leadership skills: Conquer catastrophic thinking; Use fewer words; Value relationships as highly as results; Don’t take anything personally; Commitment to Development; Reflection; Speak for Yourself. Resources to develop those last three: Commitment to Development The Executive Executive – an episode with a different list of essential skills Four Factors Executives Need to be Successful – another list of essential skills thenschel@essentialcomm.com – my email address if you want help thinking about your own development The Ability to Reflect Mindfulness Resources Building Self-Awareness Speak for Yourself The Four Agreements – Agreement #1: “Be Impeccable with Your Word” Episodes to build assertion: Showing Teeth The Voice of Authority Assertion v Aggression   This month’s episode lives in our podcast library in these three categories: Executive Presence Leadership Self-Talk Five episodes to help you with different skills are: Building Empathy “Don’t Take Anything Personally” The Executive Executive Personal Connections <a href='https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/shor

Thu, July 06, 2023

Taming the Defensiveness Dragon

At the end of her rope, a leader asks her coach for help managing a direct report who, she says, is the most defensive person she’s ever met.  This episode was packed with tools. We’ve put them into an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here.   Kim Scott, the best-selling author of the electric book Radical Candor, wrote a short, friendly guide with tools for handling defensive employees. Find it here. Harvard Business Review’s Amy Gallo talked with Dave Stachowiak on this episode of the Coaching for Leaders podcast. As with every episode of Dave’s, this is indispensable.  To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements .   To dig deeper into tools for taming defensiveness, search our podcast library in these three categories: Communication Skills Management Skills  Relationship Building Five specific episodes on this topic you could listen to are: 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks Be Impeccable with Your Word  Handling Defensive Behaviors Managing Bad Behavior Managing Disruptive Executives Sign up to get our monthly email with links to resources that support each episode. Calling all COACHES! Come join our Executive Coaching special interest group (SIG) sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Check out our SIG and all the others here .     Or shoot me an email with your questions. I’m at tom@essentialcomm.com . All our free infogra

Thu, June 08, 2023

Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence

During her first C-suite years, a leader burned a lot of bridges. Her boss, who’d traveled a similar path, gets her a coach and sets only one goal: repair relations through emotional intelligence. Lots and lots of tools and resources this month: Free downloads: The Feeling Words Grid EQ Model Books and papers to sharpen your skills “Executive Presence: The Missing Link between Merit and Success”  “The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success” “Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well” “Executive Presence” from Center for Talent Innovation This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library : Executive Presence Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Five episodes to help you command a room: 109 Building Emotional Intelligence  146 Building Empathy 155 The Human Element 69 Leadership & Self-Deception 17 Speaking for Yourself  Please help yourself to any (or all!) of our free infographics in the Essential Tools bin . Our deepest gratitude to those who post reviews. Thank you!!!  Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look &

Thu, May 11, 2023

Staying Afloat in a Shitstorm

A highly effective leader finds herself in the middle of a terrible mess, not of her own making. When her coach marvels at her ability to stay calm amidst the chaos, she shares a lesson she learned from her dad. In addition to the tools discussed during this episode, Tom also talks about: “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.” Conversations with Coaches – Episode #184 Executive Coaching Special Interest Group The Feeling Word Grid This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library : Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Self-Talk Five episodes to help you manage during difficult times: 109 - Building Emotional Intelligence 52 - Coaching versus Therapy 152 - Combating Emotional Hijacks 75 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally” 171 - Taming the Wild Child All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin . Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast.  Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, April 06, 2023

How to Command a Room

Wanting to command rooms with her voice, a team leader turned to her coach for exercises. She learned the secrets of “RVP.” In this episode, five practices to help you develop a voice that will command a room are discussed: Vocal variety Expect resistance Rhythm Volume Pitch This episode has multiple tips and tools for each of those five development areas. The Zootopia clip that gets so much attention is here:    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHKwnUa3txo This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library : Communication Skills Executive Presence Presentation Skills Five episodes to help you command a room: 186 Video Feedback & Executive Presence 120 Captivate Your Audience 77 T he Power of Rehearsal 64 I  Talk Too Fast! 34 Keeping Repeated Material Fresh All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin . Thanks for supporting us with your reviews. Let us know how we can support you. Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, March 02, 2023

The Sound of Leadership & Management - 2023

In conversation with her coach, an executive explores whether leaders and managers use language differently in order to be effective in their roles. There are lots of ideas in this episode. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself! This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library : Leadership Management Skills Perception – How You’re Perceived Five related episodes you might listen to are:  139Engagement & Performance 138Managing Disruptive Executives 140 Showing Teeth 148Taming Meetings 156The Voice of Authority Much gratitude to the folks who post reviews. We appreciate your support and all your kind words. Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here .  Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, February 02, 2023

Leadership v Management - 2023

An executive, in conversation with her coach, wonders if leaders and managers are different. And whether it matters. This episode has lots of ideas flying around. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself!  This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library : Leadership Management Skills Relationship Building Five related episodes you might listen to are:  139Dynamic One-on-Ones 138How Teams Fight 179 Managing Former Peers 148Taming Meetings 156The Voice of Authority We are so grateful to those of you post reviews. It only takes you a minute or two, but it makes a world of difference for us.  Our purpose is to support your growth and development. Let us know how we can help. Be in touch with us here .  Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, January 12, 2023

Finding a Lighter Path

A leader, stuck in an unhealthy cycle, searches for a way out. In conversation with his coach, he learns a four-square tool that just might work. A new free Essential Tool illustrating the four-square model is available for download in the Essential Tools bin. No login required. Help yourself. The model in this month’s episode is a variation on The ACT Matrix. Here’s our favorite YouTube video about The Matrix. The creators of The ACT Matrix wrote a book to help practitioners use the tool. This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories: Developing New Behaviors Managing Yourself Self-Talk Here are five episodes to help you get unstuck:  7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks * Blind Spots How to Build Self-Awareness * How to Grow your Self-Management * How to Show Up * Indicates there’s a PDF in the Essential Tools bin to support the ideas in that episode. We are so excited to dive into the new year with you all!  All the best, Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, December 08, 2022

How to Act in Your Own Best Interest

A team leader had a habit of jumping to conclusions. His most recent leap landed him in hot water. In conversation with his coach, he learns a tool for making better choices. We created a new free Essential Tool illustrating The Ladder of Inference . It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Please help yourself. The “Don’t Judge Too Quickly” ads are on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP8NRgWtPaE&t=18s This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories: Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development In addition to the various episodes listed above, five that will help you think about your thinking are:    102 – Getting Unstuck 210 – How to Grow Your Self-Management 63 – Positive Opposites 154 – Self-Limiting Beliefs 190 – Thinking Errors Safe and sane holidays, everyone. See you in the New Year!  With gratitude, Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, November 03, 2022

How to Turn on Your Executive Thinking

A senior executive worries that his lieutenants are not being taken seriously by the senior leadership team. He discusses with a coach how to help his rising leaders accelerate their growth. This is that conversation.      We created a new free Essential Tool for you called “Executive Thinking.” It illustrates the “altitude” analogy Tom told during the episode. It also supports one of the four exercises you can do with your team. Additional Essential Tools that support other exercises are “Before You Write Your Presentation” and “Sorting & Labeling.” Liberating Structures is the free resource Tom was raving about. The specific exercise he mentioned was TRIZ.   Tom has talked about Liberating Structures in the episodes “How to Re-engage a Team” and “Leading Offsites.” If you’re approaching year-end performance reviews, there are tools to support you – no matter which side of the review you’re on! – in Performance Reviews.   Tom referenced two shows that can help you learn Sorting & Labeling. Coaching For Leaders with Dave Stachowiak : The Way to Make Sense to Others. The Everyday Innovator with Chad McCallister: How Product Managers Look & Sound like Leaders. This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories: Executive Presence Leadership Perception – How You’re Perceived In addition to the various episodes listed above, five that relate specifically to executive thinking are: 180  Becoming Expert 193  Branding Yourself 202  The Executive Executive 178  Executive Pr

Thu, October 06, 2022

How to Disarm a Trigger

A leader causing upset among her people is given a coach. In conversation, they examine what might be triggering people to be upset with her. The exploration leads to a simple, yet difficult, idea. Transcripts of every episode are available for download in our library .  Tom mentioned two episodes with mindfulness tools. They are:  The Mindful Executive The Focused Executive. This episode is filed in three categories in the library: Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk In addition to the mindfulness episodes, five other related episodes are: 204 Blind Spots 119 Creating Devoted Followers 171 Taming the Wild Child 190 Thinking Errors 96 The Many Parts of You Listen to Tom’s conversation with Kim O’Hara on “You Should Write a Book About That.”   Listen to Tom’s conversation with Marcel van de Hoef on “The Happy Investor.”   Gratitude to those who POST REVIEWS. You are life-sustaining! Thank you! Got a question you think a coach could help with? We’re happy to talk! Get in touch with us here .  Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, September 08, 2022

Responsibility Charting

A team leader is tired of kerfuffles. In conversation with her coach, she learns to use a simple chart that generates almost miraculous results. The chart is available to you here . Please, help yourself. Other tools for leading your team that Tom mentioned in this episode include The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni.  You can download a sample of the team development tool based on the book that Tom mentioned. The Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team assessment is available to you here . If you’re looking to pick Tom’s brain a little more, all his interviews are available to you in Conversations . His conversation on Keys to the Shop is available here. His conversation on Next Gen Leadership is available here.   This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under  Leadership Leading Teams Management Skills  Related episodes you might listen to are:  91   Facilitating Open Dialogue 149 How Teams Fight 181 Inviting Dialogue 175 Leading Offsites 148 Taming Meetings 195 The Intentional Leader   As ever, we cannot give enough thanks to those of you who post reviews. Thank you for your support and kind words. Got a question about your career and how coaching might help? Get in touch with us here .  Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, August 04, 2022

The Conflict Conversation

What’s helpful to say when you’re in an argument? How can you prepare to have an argument? This month’s coaching conversation dives deeper into the topic of “Conflict” which began last month. This episode has scripts and concepts for mastering The Conflict Conversation.  We’ve created another PDF to support your leadership development. It’s a feedback model detailing actions and intentions for you. If you’re serious about your leadership, you have to be serious about mastering the art of feedback. Grab this Essential Tool and dig in. It’s waiting for you in our Tools bin .  This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under  Communication Skills Relationship Building For Women Related episodes you might listen to are:  #61  A Difficult Conversation  #73  Disagree Agreeably  #72  Getting Agreement  #27  Repairing Damaged Relationships  #88  Resolving Conflict    Thanks this month, and every month, to those of you who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words. If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here .  Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, July 07, 2022

Conflict

Conflict is inevitable, but most of us were never taught skills to help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called “Conflict.” This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House.  If you’re looking to develop your executive presence, our latest PDF is for you. It talks about the four factors every executive needs to be effective. It’s free. You can find it in our Tools bin .  Help yourself.  This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under  Relationship Building Related episodes you might listen to are:  61  A Difficult Conversation  73  Disagree Agreeably  72  Getting Agreement  27  Repairing Damaged Relationships  88  Resolving Conflict    Tom references the book “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most” by Stone, Patton and Heen, from the Harvard Negotiation Project. As always, thanks to the folks who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words. If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here .  Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.   

Thu, June 09, 2022

Holding Boundaries

A leader, often reticent to speak up on her own behalf, learns tools to help her ask for what she wants without worrying she’ll incite a battle. This month we’ve created another free PDF for you in our Tools bin . This one is to help you use video playback to achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library in these three categories: Assertiveness Communication Skills Managing Yourself Related episodes you might listen to are:  188 Boundaries 164 Conflict 165 The Conflict Conversation 86 Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries 88 Resolving Conflict We send gratitude to the people posting reviews. Thank you for your support and kind words. If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here .  Until next month, stay healthy and be well. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, May 05, 2022

How to Set Boundaries

Kindness is killing a leader’s ability to set and hold effective boundaries. She works with her coach to find her voice and along the way discovers an empowering image about boundaries. We’ve put lots of free PDFs in our Tools bin to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library : Assertiveness Managing Yourself Self-Talk Five related episodes you might listen to are:  216  7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks 204  Blind Spots 188  Boundaries 210  How to Grow Your Self-Management 190  Thinking Errors Much gratitude to the folks who post reviews. We appreciate your support you’re your kind words. Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here .  Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, April 07, 2022

Two Paths to Flow

A worried leader seeks help finding balance between going with the flow and giving himself a larger voice. Visit our Tools bin for free PDFs to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library : Assertiveness Managing Yourself Relationship Building Five related episodes you might listen to are:  21Eliminating Distractions 59  Focus in the Face of Distractions  30Self-Knowledge as Leadership 184    The Focused Executive 142    The Mindful Executive Tom also talked about two books in this episode: “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience” by Mihaly Csikszentmlhalyi “The Trust Advisor” by David Maister, et al   Thanks to everyone who posts reviews, and thanks so much for your kind words!  Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here .  Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, March 03, 2022

How Leaders Can ‘Play Better Poker’

A missed promotion prompts a leader to complain to her CEO. The CEO responds by getting her a coach, which results in explorations of authenticity, self-awareness and self-management. Visit our Tools bin for free PDFs to help you achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership. This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library : Managing Yourself Perception - How You Perceive Yourself Perception - How You’re Perceived Seven related episodes you might listen to are:  #71 – Act “As If” #204 – Blind Spots #110 – Creating New Behaviors #103 – Self-Awareness & Self-Management #85 – Stop Giving Away Your Secrets #190 – Thinking Errors #51 – When Learning Makes Things Worse Thanks to everyone who posts reviews. And thank you so much for your kind words!  Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here .  Until next month, be well! Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, February 03, 2022

7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks

A leader, ashamed of hurtful words she spoke to a colleague, explores what happened with her coach. She learns seven techniques for keeping herself from future emotional hijacks.       Download a free PDF about the seven steps to help you stop emotional hijacks here. This episode is tagged in five categories in the Podcast Library:      Managing Yourself Perception - How You Perceive Yourself Perception - How You’re Perceived Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk Seven related episodes you might listen to are:  #109 Building Emotional Intelligence #147 Conquering Fear #74  Dealing with Emotional Responses #142 The Mindful Executive #22  Negative Self-Talk #103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management # 171 Taming the Wild Child Post a review and help us cross the 1,000 review mark! As we hurtle into 2022, all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership wish you a wonderful year of health, growth, and curiosity. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, January 06, 2022

How To Stay Calm Under Fire

A leader is given a presentation coach and two goals: ‘tell a better story’ and ‘be more responsive in the moment.’ This episode is the coaching conversation about the second goal: be responsive in the moment. This episode is tagged in four categories in the Podcast Library: Communication Skills Executive Presence Presentation Skills   Self-Talk Six related episodes you might listen to are:  #214 How to Turn Data Into Stories #160Prepping Like a TED Talker #157Talking Like a TED Talker #161Performing Like a TED Talker #77The Power of Rehearsal #65Sorting & Labeling Join us this month for two free mini-courses facilitated by Susan Smalley : Skills of a Great Manager Leadership Circle for Women Listen to Tom’s interview on The Remarkable Coach podcast where he and host Michael Pacheco talked about Tom’s 30 years of coaching. Post a review and help us cross the 1,000 review mark! All of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership wish you a safe, healthy year of growth and curiosity. Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, December 02, 2021

How To Turn Data into Stories

A leader is given a presentation coach and two goals: ‘tell a better story’ and ‘be more responsive in the moment.’ This episode is the coaching conversation about telling a better story.  There are four tools in the episode: 1. Grab our list of questions    [please link to the PDF] 2. Build a puzzle for your listeners 3. Create a hero in jeopardy 4. Work with a partner – cautiously! This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Communication Skills Executive Presence Presentation Skills   Five related episodes you might listen to are:  3   Stories – The Ultimate Persuaders 56 What Compelling Speakers Share 77 The Power of Rehearsal 84 Making Stories Soar 120 Captivate Your Audience   160 Prepping Like a TED Talker In January, free mini-courses resume. Check out these two learning opportunities: Skills of a Great Manager Leadership Circle for Women As we approach the threshold of a new year, I wish you curiosity and growth. Thanks for all the support! See you in the new year!  Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Thu, November 04, 2021

How to Re-engage a Team

Worried that working remotely has disconnected her team, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a powerful tool. Being able to lead your team in growth exercises is a critical leadership skill. This episode is full of tips and guidance for strengthening that muscle. Tom strongly endorses the Liberating Structures website. Lots of amazing free resources there. He also recommends a conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders about “ How to Lead an Offsite .” This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library: Communication Skills Leading Teams Management Skills Five related episodes you might listen to are:  143 – Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta 149 – How Teams Fight 175 – Leading Offsites 181 - Inviting Dialogue 194 - Connecting Over Video In January, free mini-courses will resume. Check out these two learning opportunities: Skills of a Great Manager Leadership Circle for Women Gratitude went to Sarah Brown for having Tom as a guest on an episode of The KTS Success Factor podcast. Hear all the tips here .  Gratitude also, as always, to those who reach out to us and to those who post reviews. Thank you so much! Be in touch here . From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership , be well. Stay healthy and safe.   Thanks for listening. See you next month!

Thu, October 07, 2021

How To Coach Your People

A no-nonsense leader is asked to add coaching to her list of duties. She turns to the coach who’d coached her for a quick immersion course.  Coaching your people requires a shift in thinking and a specific set of behaviors. These ideas are captured in a PDF about the GROW model. It’s available to you for free here. This month we are offering three free mini-courses. Come join us! Demystifying Workplace Conflict Understanding Yourself and Others (DiSC) Get 15% off your registration with either of these courses by using the coupon code PODCAST at checkout. Offer applies to your first registration. The Look & Sound of Leadership Get 50% off our flagship course with the coupon code LEADERSHIP at checkout! During the episode, Tom and Laurel mentioned Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High. A great skill-building resource. This episode lives in three categories in the Podcast Library: Management Skills Perception – How you Perceive Others Relationship Building . Five related episodes you might listen to are:  132 – Coaching Your People   91 – Facilitating Open Dialogue     155 – The Human Element 83 – Leadership and Listening   26 – Questions as Leadership You can explore more ideas about coaching your people on Dave Stachowiak’s Coaching For Leaders podcast. Episode 190: How to Improve Your Coaching Skills . Tom raved about Dave’s conversation with Connson Locke. That’s on Coaching for Leadership, Episode 546: How to Speak Up .   </p

Thu, September 02, 2021

How To Show Up

Frustrated at not showing up the way she wants to, a leader, in conversation with her coach, explores ways to integrate her values into her behavior. To show up as more of whatever you want to be, ask yourself:  What would be different if I were a little braver right now? What would a brave person do right now? What would I think, or what would I feel, if I were my bravest self right now? How is my self-talk helping how I show up? How is my self-talk holding me back in how I show up? (Substitute your own spine word for “brave.”) Three books to build muscle around how you show up.  Leadership & Self-Deception.  Change Your Questions, Change Your Life. The Four Agreements. The PDF “Six Books for Growth” is available here. Or email Tom and he’ll send it to you. This episode connects to two previous episodes featuring Chin-Sun: How to Build Your Self-Awareness and How to Grow Your Self-Management. On September 7, a new podcast featuring Tom goes live: “Unlocking Leadership – Ask the Coaches.” Available online, on your podcast app and YouTube. Meet our fabulous facilitators and browse our catalogue of courses. Courses currently open for registration are: Dare to Lead – full course Career Wellness – free mini-course Improv for Leadership – free mini-course Get 15% off your first course with the promo code: PODCAST This episode is in the library under four filters: For Women Managing Yourself Self-Talk Five specific episodes you might listen to are: <

Thu, August 05, 2021

How To Grow Your Self-Management

In this episode, a leader feels she lacks courage. She engages her coach in a conversation about how to use self-awareness and self-management as tools to help her become a little bolder. The self-talk scripts discussed in this episode, plus the four-box process Tom described, are available to you in a PDF. You can request it in an email to Tom here or you can download the PDF here . Other resources mentioned in this episode: Last month’s episode connects (like Pop Beads!) to this episode: How to Build Self-Awareness E.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises. Nathaniel Branden’s work on self-esteem – profound thoughts and powerful prompts. Dan Harris’s podcast 10% Happier Meet our fabulous facilitators and browse our catalogue of courses . Courses currently open for registration are: Dare to Lead – free mini-course and full course Career Wellness – free mini-course   Get 15% off your first course with the promo code: PODCAST This episode is in the library under four filters: Assertiveness Developing New Behaviors Managing Yourself Self-Talk Five specific episodes you might listen to are:  162. Acting on the Corporate Stage 109. Building Emotional Intelligence 110. Creating New Behaviors 176. The Executive

Thu, July 01, 2021

How To Build Self-Awareness

Self-awareness, like any muscle, can be built through discipline.In this episode, a leader learns two exercises to help build awareness of her thoughts and feelings. The two exercises discussed in this episode are detailed in a PDF that we’d love to send you. Send us an email and we’ll send back the PDF. The PDF also contains the Feeling Words Grid. Other resources mentioned in this episode:  E.Q. Applied by Justin Bariso – a helpful, friendly book chock-full of exercises. Sort the episode library using the filter Feedback . Good feedback will build your self-awareness, for sure! Five episodes to listen to:  #103 Self-Awareness & Self-Management  #109 Building Emotional Intelligence #25 How Behaviors Change #142 The Mindful Executive #190 Thinking Errors Gratitude to those who are in touch and who post reviews. From the entire team at The Look & Sound of Leadership , be well. And thanks for listening. See you next month!

Thu, June 03, 2021

The Democratic Leader

A new leader worries about having to become a dictator in order to meet her goals. She and her coach explore the challenges inherent in trying to be a truly democratic leader. Core concepts in this episode: When pressured, many leaders revert to giving orders. People need time to feel safe speaking up to a new leader. A democratic leader doesn’t have to give everyone their way, just give everyone their say. When listening to ideas, just listen. Don’t fix or tweak or improve. The Essential Communications website has many free resources for you. The entire archive of episodes going back more than a decade is free and available to you. Categories in the archive related to this episode are:   Leading Teams Leadership Perception – How You’re Perceived Related episodes are:  How Teams Fight Inviting Dialogue Psychological Safety Taming Meetings The Conflict Conversation If you’d like to be a tester for the new Essential Communications website, shoot Tom an email. In this episode, Tom mentioned: A progressive elementary school in Van Nuys, CA. The school is Children’s Community School. Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office by Lois Frankel Dare to Lead by Brené Brown  Tom’s conversation with Ben Ritter on “The Live for Yourself Revolution.” COACHES! Join Tom at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Non-members pay $10 to attend. This month’s topic: Team & Group Coaching.  

Thu, May 06, 2021

Tough Conversations

A leader, initially described to his coach as clueless, confronts a hard truth about himself. In the process, he gains a four-step tool to guide him through tough conversations. Core Concepts in this episode: To convey a tough message and maintain a positive relationship: 1. Start with a full-stop. Act, don’t RE-act. Identify why this conversation is important. 2. Express intention. Say why you’re having the conversation and what your concerns are. 3. Be clear. Be simple. Identify what you wish were different specifically. 4. Attend to the relationship. At every step, even in the conversation, consider the other person. Related Archive Categories: Communication Skills Management Skills Relationship Skills Related Tips & Episodes: Combating Emotional Hijacks The Conflict Conversation A Difficult Conversation Short Sounds Confident Smoothing Harsh Edges Books to boost your skills in tough conversation: Difficult Conversations Crucial Conversations   The library of all the past episodes is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. Much gratitude! See you next month!

Thu, April 01, 2021

Understanding Feedback

This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to make feedback more palatable. The secret: sort the feedback you receive into three distinct categories. Many ideas in this episode and last month’s episode are explained more fully in the book: ‘Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well – even when it is off base, unfair, poorly delivered and, frankly, you’re not in the mood.’ ” Related episodes are: Unblocking Feedback (from last month) Don’t Take Anything Personally Getting Good Feedback Handling Feedback Effectively Perception is Reality In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories Feedback Leadership Managing Yourself Tom has three leadership interviews that have gone live this month: Coaching For Leaders: Episode 518 A deep 40-min dive into “Sorting & Labeling" Fidelis Leadership Podcast: Episode 37 A wide-ranging 60-min exploration of leadership Ultimate Leadership Podcast: 02/08/21 A fast-paced 25-min examination of your readiness for coaching The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!      

Thu, March 04, 2021

Unblocking Feedback

This month’s coaching conversation follows a client as he works to shrink his blind spot through feedback. He and Tom discuss lowering the barriers that stop us all from taking in feedback. In the episode Tom mentions “Thanks for the Feedback” by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen. Tom also mentioned the PDF showing The Johari Window.   Related episodes are: Feedback Leadership Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself   Five related episodes you might listen to are: Getting Good Feedback Handling Feedback Effectively Perception is Reality Performance Reviews Soliciting Feedback   The full archive of episodes is at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: tom@essentialcomm.com See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

Thu, February 04, 2021

Blind Spots

This month’s coaching conversation features a leader too talented to lose but too troublesome to keep. Tom talks with him about blind spots and how he might reduce his. PDFs for you: The Johari Window Who’s Coachable Win an hour of free coaching with Tom. Complete our survey. The full archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Related Archive Categories: Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Self-Talk Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Related Episodes: Thinking Errors Boundaries The Executive Impostor Combatting Emotional Hijacks Self-Awareness & Self-Management   Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks for completing the survey. We’re excited to share the new website we’re building for you. Thanks again for posting reviews! Stay positive. Test negative. See you next month!

Fri, January 22, 2021

The Show Must Go On

In this special episode, Tom tells a story of being onstage one night in front of a packed theatre audience when the show most definitely did NOT go on. He also shares the lesson he learned from that calamity — a lesson he has subsequently shared with the hundreds of leaders he’s coached who need confidence as presenters.   The archive of all the past episodes is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/ podcast/   Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/ subscribe/   Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com   From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — enjoy!

Thu, January 14, 2021

The Executive Executive

This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom and Courtney, another executive coach. What traits, they wonder, do effective executives share? If rising leaders wanted to reverse engineer what it means to be executives, what would they put in the mix? The five qualities Tom and Courtney identify are: Resilience -- get over hurts and setbacks   Influence – build a natural reserve of strong relationships   Organization –   create lead-time and eliminate fire drills   Scope – maintain the highest altitude possible; resist the weeds Speed of Thought – exert alertness and be mentally nimble   At the end of this month’s commentary, Tom lists six books, each one different, but all leading towards personal growth and professional development. They are… Change Your Questions, Change Your Life The Confidence Code Crucial Conversations or Difficult Conversations EQ Applied Self-Esteem at Work The Four Agreements   Want a free PDF of these titles, including who might prefer which? <span class='s3

Thu, December 10, 2020

The Rising Executive

This month’s coaching conversation features a newly promoted leader. He and Tom explore the tools needed to build a strong team quickly. Lots of links this month! At one point in the episode, Rafael mentions his impostor syndrome. For tools about impostor syndrome, check out: The Executive Impostor In the commentary, I mention two books: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team and Overcoming The Five Dysfunctions of a Team This is the field guide that will show you how to work with your team. Other related episodes are: Delivering Tough Feedback Managing Bad Behavior The Intentional Leader Your Team’s Best Interests – Part One Your Team’s Best Interests – Part Two There are three filters in the archive that relate to this episode: Leading Teams Negative Self-Talk Perception — How You Perceive Yourself The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com As I celebrate the end of this distressing year and look towards a brighter 2021, you are all in my thoughts. See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

Fri, November 20, 2020

Two dates & a gift — A bonus episode!

Two dates: Monday, November 30, 2020 The survey closes. Complete four questions to be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom https://essentialcomm.com/survey Thursday, December 3, 2020 Registration closes for “Leveraging Your Strengths and the Strengths of Others.” After decades delivering courses for our corporate clients, we finally created a course for you. Register at: https://essentialcomm.com/disc The gift is a 60-second practice to help you be strong and resilient. Take care of yourselves! From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership”

Thu, November 05, 2020

Style Conversations

This month’s coaching conversation is about creating a script called ‘Style.’ The script helps make difficult conversations easier. Complete this month’s four-question survey and be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom. essentialcomm.com/survey Sign-up for a small-group, highly interactive Zoom course about the DiSC Behavioral Self-Assessment. This course is available to the first 12 people who sign up: essentialcomm.com/disc If the sign-up is closed when you go to the page, put your name on the wait list. Maybe we’ll have more than one session! Related episodes this month include: Capitalizing on Differences in Style (this one is all about DiSC styles!) Conflict Leadership and Self-Deception Self-Knowledge as Leadership The Conflict Conversation Stay safe, everyone. Sane, too! See you next month. The Look & Sound of Leadership team

Thu, October 01, 2020

Personal Connections

This month’s coaching conversation follows a leader who worries that he’s not very adept when it comes to creating personal connections. He and Tom explore two skills and one mindset that will help ease his way. Related episodes: Dynamic One-on-ones Facilitating Open Dialogue Inviting Dialogue Questions as Leadership The Human Element   In the archive, this episode is tagged in three categories Relationship Building Social Skills Managing Yourself   Help us build a better website for you. Complete our survey at: essentialcomm.com/survey and be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom! The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: h ttps://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com Thanks, everyone! From all of us at “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

Thu, September 03, 2020

Psychological Safety

This month’s coaching conversation explores how leaders can foster psychological safety. Teams high in both safety and accountability enter a “Learning Zone” where high performance follows naturally. In this month’s conversation, Tom and his client mentioned “The Checklist Manifesto” by Atul Gawande. His proposition is a great formula for creating psychological safety. Related episodes are: Agreeable Disagreement Assertion versus Aggression “Don’t Take Anything Personally” Inviting Dialogue The Conflict Conversation In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories Assertiveness Leadership Managing Yourself The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com PLEASE COMPLETE OUR SURVEY You’ll be entered to win an hour of free coaching with Tom! Your input will help us build a better website for you. essentialcomm.com/survey From the whole team at “The Look & Sound of Leadership” — thanks! See you next month!

Thu, August 06, 2020

Giving Upward Feedback

This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver upward feedback effectively? In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the famous Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here's the column he mentions: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/06/marshmallow-test/561779/?utm_source=atl&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=share   Related episodes are: Dealing With Emotional Responses Delivering Tough Feedback Giving Powerful Feedback Perception is Reality The Disruptive Executive – Part One In the archive, this Tip is tagged in three categories Communication Skills Feedback Managing Up The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com See you next month!

Thu, July 09, 2020

Learnings From Video

This month’s coaching conversation follows a client exploring a surprising use for video, plus a game of imagination. The Marshmallow Test is explained in “ Self-Awareness & Self-Management ” Core Concepts in this episode: Video provides distance that can help break old patterns. Some people are highly agitated these days. Their agitation is not about you. Don’t take it personally. You might find yourself more annoyed than normal. Don’t act on it.   RELATED ARCHIVE CATEGORIES Leading Teams Managing Yourself Communication Skills RELATED TIPS & EPISODES Boundaries Connecting Over Video “Don’t Take Anything Personally” Leadership Behavior in Meetings Taming Meetings The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks this month to all of you who post reviews. See you next month!

Thu, June 04, 2020

The Intentional Leader

This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length! This month’s coaching conversation is wide-ranging. It includes a leader’s story about being buoyed by her team. She and Tom also swap answers to a favorite question of her team’s: “How’re ya coping?” They then explore managing stress through being present and intentional. Three questions to help you become present: What am I doing right now? What feelings am I having right now? What is happening in my body right now? Approach these questions with curiosity. Don’t ask with an intention to fix. The intention is just to notice. You can explore self-management and self-awareness in the archive using the filters: Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development You can take a deeper dive with these five episodes: Combating Emotional Hijacks Connecting Over Video Inviting Dialogue Self-Awareness & Self-Management The Mindful Executive The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Until next month, wishing you health and safety!

Thu, May 07, 2020

Connecting Over Video

SHOWNOTES: This month’s coaching conversation is with a leader who wants to keep strong connections despite the quarantine. She and Tom explore the barriers that make connecting over video so difficult. Four essentials to attend to on video: Angle Lighting Background Sound From Tom to you: These difficult times can create a lot of fear. An antidote is to be curious. Curiosity is at the very heart of coaching. If I can help in anyway, let me know. Go to https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ and let me know what would be helpful. There is always help for you in the archive. Filters that relate to this month’s episode are: Executive Presence Perception – How You’re Perceived Leading Teams Managing Yourself   Five related episodes are: Video Feedback & Executive Presence Executive Presenting High-Stakes Meetings Building Emotional Intelligence The Human Element The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Stay safe all you wonderful humans! Until next month!

Thu, April 02, 2020

Branding Yourself

This month’s coaching conversation explores how to project your personal brand into the workplace. When done well it can seem like a Jedi mind trick – but it’s really just personal branding. Here are the five links Tom mentioned in the episode. Looking good in video conferencing https://medium.com/@bobsacha/a-cinematographers-guide-to-looking-good-in-web-based-video-conferencing-fb6cf651714c   4 Ways to Improve Video Meetings https://www-forbes-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2020/03/22/these-four-techniques-will-instantly-improve-your-videoconferences-with-remote-employees/amp/ Coronavirus Doctor Empowers Us https://vimeo.com/399733860   “That Discomfort You’re Feeling…” https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief Executive Coaching Group https://www.icfla.org/event/executive-coaching-sig/   Core Concepts in this episode: > We brand ourselves with our self-talk every day > Find language to help you talk about yourself > Talking about yourself is not a bad thing > Find words that spark an image of the brand you want to be. Think of them as often as you can. Related Archive Categories: Executive Presence, Perception – How You’re Perceived Self-Talk Related Tips & Episodes: Becoming Expert Acting On The Corporate Stage The Voice of Authority Conquering Fear Achieving Authenticity   The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks everyone.

Thu, March 05, 2020

Pursuing A Promotion 2020

This month’s coaching conversation is with a high-performer who was passed over for a promotion. Together, she and Tom identify tools to make sure she doesn’t get passed over again. Core Concepts in this episode: > Aisha chose to NOT be self-promotional. In your organization, a more vocal approach may be effective. > Click out. Think from a higher altitude. Give yourself the promotion. > Networking is not evil. But have intention. Be a good detective. Related Archive Categories: Managing Yourself Related Tips & Episodes: Acting on the Corporate Stage Leading Teams Managing Former Peers Networking The Flexible Leader The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks this month to Paul Ison and George Avelino. You guys are the best. And thanks to all of you who are in touch and who post reviews. So much thanks! See you next month!

Thu, February 06, 2020

Coaching Under Attack

This month’s coaching conversation isn’t so much a conversation as a fencing match. A newly installed president grills Tom about the coaching he’s been delivering at her company for years. There are two different strands you might follow from this episode. One is about coaching. You might listen to these episodes: Coaching Your People Coaching Versus Therapy Readiness in Coaching Another strand you might follow is about self-management. Episodes on that strand would be: Creating New Behaviors How Behaviors Change High Stakes Meetings You could also search the archive using the filters: Developing New Behaviors Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ From all of us, thanks! See you next month!

Thu, January 09, 2020

Thinking Errors

This month’s coaching conversation examines phrases we use that lead us into self-deception. Tom and his client explore why thinking errors so often remain invisible and, once revealed, what other words might be possible substitutions. SHOW NOTES:  Tom mentions two books in this episode:  “How To Raise Your Self-Esteem” by Nathaniel Branden  https://www.amazon.com/Raise-Your-Self-Esteem-Action-Oriented-Self-Confidence/dp/0553266462/  “The Four Agreement” by Don Miguel Ruiz  https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319 Related Tips & Episodes Don’t Take Anything Personally  Self-Awareness & Self-Management Self-Limiting Beliefs Smoothing Harsh Edges  Three Words You Should Never Say   This Tip is in five categories in the archive: For Women, Managing Yourself,  Perception - How You Perceive Yourself, Personal Growth & Self-Development, Self-Talk   The archive is at:   https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript:   https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at:   https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ From all of us, thanks! See you next month!

Thu, December 05, 2019

Don’t Take Anything Personally

This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the eternal struggle to depersonalize the events in our lives that feel so personal. Is it even possible to actualize the adage, “Don’t take it personally?” Tom mentions two books that can help you manage yourself so you don’t take things personally:    The Four Agreements  Six Pillars of Self-Esteem   In the archive, this Tip is in five categories:   Managing Yourself  Perception – How You Perceive Yourself  Perception – How You Perceive Others Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk Five related Coaching Tips you can listen to are Acting on the Corporate Stage Animating Your Persona Don’t Take It Personally Self-Limiting Beliefs Taming the Wild Child Lots to browse through!   The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom: https://essentialcomm.com/contact From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership,” thanks! See you next month!

Thu, November 14, 2019

Boundaries

This month’s coaching conversation explores how hard it can be to say ‘no’ sometimes. Together, Tom and his client come up with four strategies for setting better boundaries.This month’s coaching conversation explores how hard it can be to say ‘no’ sometimes. Together, Tom and his client come up with four strategies for setting better boundaries. Tom mentions three books that will help you speak up and set boundaries:  Crucial Conversations https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Talking-Stakes-Second/dp/0071771328/ The Four Agreements https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Toltec-Wisdom-Collection/dp/1878424580/ Leadership and Self-Deception https://www.amazon.com/Leadership-Self-Deception-Getting-Out-Box/dp/1523097809/ If you want to receive a zip file with Executive Coaching Tips related to assertiveness, reach out to Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com This Tip is in four categories in the archive: Developing New Behaviors Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk For Women Lots to browse through! Five related Coaching Tips you can listen to are Act “As If” The Executive Impostor The Many Parts of You Taming the Wild Child Self-Awareness & Self-Management The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/  Be in touch with Tom: https://essentialcomm.com/contact   From everyone at “The Look & Sound of Leadership,” thanks! See you next month!  

Thu, October 10, 2019

Agreeable Disagreement

This month’s coaching conversation follows an executive’s journey from a bulldozer, rolling over people and their ideas, to a thoughtful seeker of ways to get his ideas heard while also building positive relationships. Related episodes are: Assertion versus Aggression Be Impeccable With Your Word Disagree Agreeably – yes, that was an episode long ago! Don’t Take It Personally The Conflict Conversation Sorting & Labeling This Tip is in four categories in the archive: Communication Skills Executive Presence For Women Relationship Building The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ From all of us, thanks! See you next month!

Thu, September 05, 2019

Video Feedback & Executive Presence

  This month’s coaching conversation centers on learning how to watch yourself on video. It might be uncomfortable at times, but the benefits are enormous. During the commentary, Tom talks about a checklist for you. It’s here. direct link:  https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Video-Review-Checklist.pdf Related episodes are Captivate Your Audience Executive Presenting “I Talk Too Fast!” Performing Like a TED Talker The Power of Rehearsal This Tip is in these categories in the archive: Executive Presence Feedback Presentation Skills Perception – How You Perceive Yourself The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Get the HTML transcript: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Tom is at: info@essentialcomm.com From all of us here, thanks! See you next month!                    

Thu, August 08, 2019

The Talky Executive

This month’s coaching conversation wrestles with the obstacles that arise when you try listening to people who think out loud – often at great length! Related episodes are: Sorting & Labeling A Breakdown of Listening Leadership & Listening Short Sounds Confident In the archive, this Tip is tagged in four categories Communication Skills Leadership Relationship Building Social Skills The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is available at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: info@essentialcomm.com See you next month! From all of us on “The Look & Sound of Leadership” team — thanks!

Thu, July 11, 2019

The Focused Executive

This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a leader who finds herself in a storm of heavy seas. To help her find calm, Tom shares a technique from his past. You can grab the PDF that Tom mentions in this episode at: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/MindfulnessResources.pdf In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: For Women Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk Related episodes are: Combating Emotional Hijacks Conquering Fear Eliminating Distractions Choosing Persistence The Mindful Executive The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version and get transcripts of each month’s episode at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks, all! See you next month! "The Look & Sound of Leadership" team

Thu, June 06, 2019

Fighting Authority

This month’s coaching conversation revolves around a former client’s direct report who is caught up in old wiring which is short-circuiting his effectiveness. This episode is tagged in six categories. Something of a record! For Women Management Skills Managing Yourself Perception – How Your Perceive Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Self-Talk Here are eight, yes, eight related episodes. Combating Emotional Hijacks Conquering Fear Negative Self-Talk Self-Limiting Beliefs Self-Awareness & Self-Management Taming the Wild Child The Many Parts of You Unmasking a Stand-In The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks for your iTunes reviews!!!

Thu, May 02, 2019

Ask The Coaches - Readers' Letters

This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom Henschel and Mindy Danna who answer questions from our audience. Tom and Mindy have grown up together professionally. He runs Essential Communications where Mindy is a coach. She also works with the cutting-edge global consulting firm Cultivating Leadership. During the episode, Mindy mentions two books:    "Being the Boss" by Linda Hill & Kent Lineback  "Thanks for the Feedback" by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen Five related episodes are:    Discussing Difficult Behaviors Giving Powerful Feedback Handling Defensive Behaviors Soliciting Feedback Upward Feedback In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories:   Feedback Assertiveness Management Skills Managing Up The archive is at:   https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at:   https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at:   https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ or info@essentialcomm.com Thanks for your reviews and ratings!

Thu, April 11, 2019

Inviting Dialogue

This months’ coaching conversation is with a leader who genuinely wants open dialogue with his direct reports but finds he may have been unintentionally limiting his conversations. In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: Communication Skills Management Skills Relationship Building Social Skills   Six related episodes are: Building Rapport Communicating With Clarity Creating New Behaviors Facilitating Open Dialogue Leadership & Listening Questions as Leadership The archive is at: h ttps://essentialcomm.com/podcast/   Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/   Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thanks for your iTunes reviews!

Thu, March 07, 2019

Becoming Expert

This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a leader striving to become “more visible.” She and Tom imagine raising her presence by giving her a way to speak about herself as an expert without feeling like she’s bragging. A challenging needle to thread! If you want help on this topic, Tom mentioned a resource he strongly recommends “Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It” by Peggy Klaus. In the archive, this episode is tagged in four categories: For Women Executive Presence Perception - How You're Perceived Self-Talk Five related episodes are: Act “As If” Acting on the Corporate Stage Personal Branding Speaking Your Truth The Look & Sound of Self-Esteem The archive is at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Thu, February 07, 2019

Managing Former Peers

  Internal promotions can be mixed blessings. Managing former peers has the potential to upset everyone. This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to handle this live grenade with aplomb. Two books mentioned during the commentary: Difficult Conversions by Stone, Patton & Heen and Crucial Conversation by Patterson, et al. Lots of related episodes mentioned: Relating to the issue of clarity: Communicating with Clarity Creating Clarity Driving Your Message Home Sorting & Labeling Relating to the issue of managing people who are upset: Combating Emotional Hijacks Building Emotional Intelligence Dealing With Emotional Responses Deep gratitude to those who post reviews. Thanks! Browse the entire archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com

Thu, January 10, 2019

Executive Presence - Three Pillars

This month’s coaching conversation explores the three pillars of executive presence. In this episode's commentary, Tom mentions research about Executive Presence conducted by the Center for Talent Innovation. The key findings are available at: https://www.talentinnovation.org/publication.cfm?publication=1340 Three episodes grew directly from ideas in that white paper: Gravitas Emotional Intelligence Showing Teeth The Executive Coaching Tips archive has a filter for "Executive Presence." It's at: https://essentialcomm.com/tag/executive-presence/ Four additional episodes you might listen to are: Conquering Fear Inhabiting Executive Presence Short Sounds Confident The Voice of Authority Browse the entire archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com

Thu, December 13, 2018

Ask The Coaches - Readers’ Letters

This month’s coaching conversation is between Tom Henschel and Mindy Danna who answer questions from our audience. Tom and Mindy have grown up together professionally. He runs Essential Communications where Mindy is a coach. She also works with the cutting-edge global consulting firm Cultivating Leadership. Tips related to the questions and answers in this episode are:  A Breakdown of Listening The Executive Impostor Leadership and Listening Managing Trauma Self-Limiting Beliefs  Mindy mentions:    “Being The Boss” by Linda Hill.   Google’s Aristotle Study Tom mentions:    “What Color is Your Parachute” by Richard Boles   Every episode is available at:   https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at:   info@essentialcomm.com

Thu, November 08, 2018

The Executive Impostor

This month’s coaching conversation explores that insidious feeling of being an impostor. Research tells us that the vast majority us experience this to some degree at one time or another. Here are ways to combat impostor syndrome. The two psychology professors mentioned in the episode were Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes at Georgia State University. The TED Talk is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whyUPLJZljE Related Categories in the podcast archive: For Women Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Self-Talk Related episodes are: Act “As If” Acting on the Corporate Stage Inhabiting Executive Presence Self-Awareness & Self-Management The Many Parts of You Browse the archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/

Thu, October 04, 2018

Leading Offsites

A senior leader wants to give one of his direct reports the experience of leading her own offsite. This month’s coaching conversation is about how a leader can foster an offsite with the power to create change. AN INVITATION: Send us questions for our upcoming Q&A episodes! Send your questions to info@essentialcomm.com In the episode, there are many resources to help you learn to lead activities with your team. The six mentioned in the show are: " The Fieldbook of Team Interventions " by Harry Eggleton LiberatingStructures.com Thiagi.com " The Five Dysfunctions of a Team " by Patrick Lencioni " Overcoming the Five Dysfuctions of a Team" by Patrick Lencioni " Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta " April 2016, The Look & Sound of Leaderhip "P ersonal Histories as Your Brand " May 2016, The Look & Sound of Leadership Five episodes to help you build your team leadership skills: Facilitating Open Dialogue Leading Teams Questions as Leadership Your Team’s Best Interest – Part One Your Team’s Best Interest – Part Two Don't forget to send us your questions!

Thu, September 06, 2018

Animating Your Persona

A coaching client needs to exude more presence. Tom proposes a visualization process and walks another coach through it. In the archive, this episode is tagged in three categories: Developing New Behaviors , Perception - How You Perceive Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development Five related episodes are: Acting on the Corporate Stage Creating New Behaviors Inhabiting Executive Presence Self-Awareness & Self-Management The Many Parts of You Plus, if you want to hear about why our brains find visualization so powerful, listen to: Prepping Like A TED Talker. Five listeners posted reviews in iTunes this month. Thanks go out to: In the US, Rmb4 catalyst leader Lisabobbi Then, from the UK, Ewen C And from India, FP PJ Sharma Thanks. We couldn't keep growing without this steady stream of support. Thanks so much! Every episode is available in the archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Thu, August 09, 2018

Managing Bad Behavior

This month’s coaching conversation focuses on a feedback technique that can help manage bad behavior. The coachee likes the technique so much, he wants to try it on his high performers, too! Related episodes: Discussing Difficult Behaviors Holding People Accountable Managing Disruptive Executives Managing Performance: Up or Out Sorting & Labeling Every episode is available in the archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ To everyone who has ever posted a review for the show in iTunes -- THANK YOU! If you haven't yet, please do. Our survival depends on it. Thanks!

Thu, July 12, 2018

Managing Trauma

This month’s coaching conversation focuses on developing someone who may be a trauma survivor. A team leader’s compassionate caution may not be in the survivor’s best interest. Related episodes: Dealing with Emotional Responses Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries Managing Beyond Bad Behavior Showing Teeth Speaking Your Truth Every episode is available in the archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ Thank you so much for your reviews. It's hard to convey how meaningful those are. You help keep the podcast alive when you post a review. Thanks!

Thu, June 07, 2018

Taming the Wild Child

This month’s coaching conversation features a high-performing client who sometimes wrestles with her fear. Knowing that her fear can diminish her, she seeks a way out. Tom also talks about the new course "Improv for Leaders” taught by improv master Jeremy Rowley. Related epsidoes this month: The Many Parts of You Combating Emotional Hijacks Conquering Fear Negative Self-Talk Self-Limiting Beliefs Unmasking a Stand-In Managing Nervousness Every episode is available in the archive at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Subscribe to the HTML version at: https://essentialcomm.com/subscribe/ Be in touch with Tom at: https://essentialcomm.com/contact/ And thank you so very much for your reviews. Your contribution is beyond measure when you take a moment to post a review. Thank you!

Thu, May 03, 2018

Readiness in Coaching

Why do some coaching engagements achieve positive transformations while others get stuck in the starting gate? This month’s coaching conversation explores who’s coachable, who isn’t, and why. The PDF discussed during this episode can be downloaded at: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/ReadinessInCoaching.pdf The “Who’s Coachable?” episode containing the eight-item list from 2008 is available at: https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/whos-coachable/ Aside from the “Who’s Coachable?” episode, four other episodes that echo the motifs in this month's Executive Coaching Tip are: Leading Teams Managing Disruptive Executives Managing Performance: Up or Out Resolving Conflict Every episode is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com

Thu, April 05, 2018

360s: Weapons or Tools?

360-degree feedback can be intense. Or confusing. Like many reports, it often needs explaining, even if the information is familiar. This month’s coaching conversation explores the many sides of 360s. Curious to learn more about 360s? Listen to Tom's interview on "Coaching for Leaders." https://coachingforleaders.com/podcast/341/ Want to learn more about quantative 360-degree feedback reports? Contact Envisia Learning. envisialearning.com Want to learn about qualitative 360-degree feedback reports? Contact us. info@esssentialcomm.com Want to see a sample of a qualitative feedback report? https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Sample-360-degree-Feedback-Report.pdf Every episode is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com

Thu, March 08, 2018

Influence

  Who wouldn’t benefit from heftier influence? This month’s coaching conversation digs into two ways to build your influence bank account. During this month's episode, Tom talks about a behavioral self-assessment called DiSC. See a sample DiSC report here: https://essentialcomm.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/AlexBradley.pdf If you're looking for more Executive Coaching Tips about influence, check the archive filter: "Perception -- How You're Perceived." There's a lot there about influence. https://essentialcomm.com/tag/perception-how-youre-perceived/ Tom explained a five-point Influence model on "The Everyday Innovator" podcast with Chad McAllister. Episode #162. https://productinnovationeducators.com/blog/tei-162-how-product-managers-can-influence-people-with-tom-henschel/ Five "Look & Sound of Leadership" episodes relating to this month's conversation are: A Breakdown of Listening Building Empathy Building Rapport Getting Agreement Your Goodwill Bank Account What sort of problems would you like to hear about on the podcast? Write me: podcasts@essentialcomm.com or https://essentialcomm.com/contact/

Thu, February 01, 2018

The Sound of Leadership and of Management

Some ways of speaking lend themselves to more effective management. And some ways of speaking lend themselves to more effective leadership. This episodes explores those differences.

Thu, January 11, 2018

Leadership versus Management

Are leadership and management really different? And does it matter? This month’s coaching conversation explores what separates leadership from management. And what connects them. And why it matters for you and the people you lead.Are leadership and management really different? And does it matter? This month’s coaching conversation explores what separates leadership from management. And what connects them. And why it matters for you and the people you lead. If you're interested in related episodes, you can search the archive under "Leadership" and/or "Management Skills." Those are at: https://essentialcomm.com/tag/leadership/ and https://essentialcomm.com/tag/management-skills/ Five specific episodes you can listen to are Building Empathy Dynamic One-on-Ones How Teams Fight Taming Meetings The Voice of Authority During the episode, three lists are built. Here they are: Leadership behaviors: Motivating Aligning Recognizing patterns Creating visions and strategies Management actions: Staffing Budgeting Controlling Measuring Problem solving Relationship skills: Strong, positive networks The ability to persuade Having influence Using emotional intelligence The thought leader about leadership versus management is John Kotter from Harvard Business School. He has many books and articles that explore this topic in depth.

Thu, December 07, 2017

The Conflict Conversation

What do you say when you’re in an argument? And how can you prepare to have an argument? This month’s coaching conversation dives deeper into the topic of “Conflict” that began last month. In this installment, scripts and concepts for mastering The Conflict Conversation. To sharpen your skills, read "Difficult Conversations" by Stone, Patton & Heen from the Harvard Negotiation Project. It's very friendly and very powerful. Every episode is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com

Thu, November 02, 2017

Conflict

Conflict is inevitable. But most of us were never taught the skills that would help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called ‘Conflict.’ This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House. The book Tom references in this episode: "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most" by Stone, Patton & Heen. Related episodes this month are: A Difficult Conversation Disagree Agreeably Getting Agreement Repairing Damaged Relationships Resolving Conflict In the Tips archive is a category called "Relationship Building." Many episodes there have useful tools, too. Help yourself. https://essentialcomm.com/tag/relationship-building/

Thu, October 05, 2017

Dynamic One-on-ones

There are a million ways to conduct one-on-one meetings with direct reports. How you run yours will reflect your personal style. This month’s coaching conversation focuses on specific best practices that will enhance your one-on-ones no matter what your style. In the commentary portion of this month's episode is a question for you. Share your thoughts in an email to: info@essentialcomm.com You can sharpen your management skills with the Executive Coaching Tips in the "Management Skills" category of the archive: http://essentialcomm.com/tag/management-skills/   These five episodes may be particularly helpful in developing your management skills: Engagement & Performance Leading Teams Managing Performance: Up or Out Managing Up Your Team’s Best Interest – Part One And, if you are going to be giving performance reviews this fall, this episode has helpful tools for you. Give it a listen: Performance Reviews http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/performance-reviews/ Every episode is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com

Thu, September 07, 2017

Acting on the Corporate Stage

  This month's episode introduces "Acting on the Corporate Stage." That phrase was Tom's original branding phrase, before "The Look & Sound of Leadership" became his branding phrase. "Acting on the Corporate Stage" aims at helping you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived, which, of course, is the reason d'etre of every episode. Also this month, Tom shares reflections on attending his first-ever podcaster's convention. And his reflections are all about YOU! He also points you to two very different interviews on other podcasts: The Everyday Innovator with Chad McAllister, episode 137. He and Chad deconstruct the "Sorting & Labeling" tool. Very helpful! Fatherhood 360 with David Wissore, episode 11. While exploring how parenthood influences leadership, Tom reveals some very personal stories. The four related episodes this month are: Act “As If” Creating New Behaviors Self-Awareness and Self-Management The Mindful Executive The archive of Executive Coaching Tips is at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast

Thu, August 03, 2017

Performing Like a TED Talker

Delivering a top-notch presentation requires you to master your ideas. Of course! But even more, you need to master yourself. Your audience won’t be able to lock onto you unless you are “in focus.” This month’s coaching conversation shows you how to get “in focus.” Related episodes are: Prepping Like a TED Talker http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/prepping-like-ted-talker/ Talking Like a TED Talker http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/talking-like-ted-talker/ All Presentation Skills Tips are available at: http://essentialcomm.com/tag/presentation-skills/ A PDF summary of Chris Anderson's book, "TED Talks" is available to you. Just pop Tom an email and ask for it. He's at: info@essentialcomm.com

Thu, July 13, 2017

Prepping Like A TED Talker

Preparing a presentation raises many questions. How much are you going to rehearse? What will you actually do during your rehearsal? Are you going to memorize your talk? This month’s coaching conversation covers all that and more. Four core concepts this month: Rehearsal is obligatory. Manage your self-talk. Find your throughline. Rehearsal means “out loud.” In the archive is a whole set of Tips about “self talk.” It’s at: http://essentialcomm.com/tag/self-talk/ There’s another set about “presentation skills.” That’s at: http://essentialcomm.com/tag/presentation-skills/ Many different Executive Coaching Tips are referenced in this episode. Four related episodes are: Captivate Your Audience I Talk Too Fast! The Power of Rehearsal What Compelling Speakers Share The entire archive of Tips is at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast

Thu, June 01, 2017

Short Sounds Confident

Holding each other’s attention is a constant challenge. But you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership if you can’t keep people listening to you. This month’s coaching conversation emphasizes three little slogans to make sure you aren’t driving your listeners away from you. All three slogans are just three words long: “Short sounds confident.” And “Communication takes effort.” And “Stop talking sooner.” There are so many reasons why embodying those slogans is hard. And, in truth, it’s easier for some people than for others. But everyone can get at least a little better at this. This month’s podcast will give you lots of practical tips – and some metaphors!—to help get you there. Past Tips are available at: essentialcomm.com Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com We love hearing from you.

Tue, May 23, 2017

Readers’ Letters — Bonus Episode 2

Tom exchanges emails with two listeners. One exchange addresses issues of personal boundaries in the workplace; the other addresses scarcity and abundance. This Bonus Episode is only the second one in the 9-year history of "The Look & Sound of Leadership." If you like this and want more, tell us. Contact us through the homepage at:   essentialcomm.com Or by email at:   info@essentialcomm.com The prior bonus episode -- with two other email exchanges -- is titled "Readers' Letters." It was posted in May, 2016. Find it in your feed. It’s not available on our website. (We’re working on that!)

Thu, May 04, 2017

Talking Like a TED Talker

TED Talkers turn us into engrossed detectives, absorbed in solving the mysteries unfolding before us. But TED Talking doesn’t have to be saved for special events. This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to turn everyday presentations into compelling content that will hold people's interest ... like a TED Talk. If you're crafting an actual TED Talk, use Chris Anderson's terrific book: "TED Talks." I have a nifty 3-page reduction of Anderson's book. Reach out to me at info@essentialcomm.com and I'll send it along. Working to improve yourself as a presenter? The Coaching Tips archive are full of related episodes. Go to: essentialcomm.com/podcast and search the topic: "Presentation Skills."

Thu, April 06, 2017

The Voice of Authority

Authority. It’s a slip-sliding sort of thing, isn’t it? Do we get it automatically along with a title? Sometimes. But sometimes not. This month’s coaching conversation examines both the thoughts and the words that give us authority. The ideas in this month's episode echo motifs embedded in many other episodes. Just a few related Executive Coaching Tips are: Assertion vs Aggression Choosing Persistence Don’t Take it Personally Getting Unstuck The Look & Sound of Self-Esteem Speaking For Yourself Showing Teeth Status Every episode is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com

Thu, March 02, 2017

The Human Element

At work, we often diminish the importance of feelings – our own or those of others. We think, “I don’t have time for that” or “That’s silly.” But feelings don’t disappear just because they’re inconvenient. And, when unacknowledged, their impact can be severe. This month, two coaches discuss the difficulties of managing “the human element.” Related episodes: Building Empathy Building Emotional Intelligence Coaching Your People Compassion During Change Dealing with Emotional Responses

Thu, February 02, 2017

Self-Limiting Beliefs

Self-limiting beliefs hold us back. We limit who we are so we don't shatter those beliefs. This month's coaching conversation serves up several strategies to help you push back against those demons. Along the way, we mention " Leadership and Self-Deception ," a great book to help you on your journey. We also touch on the topic of " Coaching versus Therapy ," something I've been talking about for years. You can find an epsiode about it in the archive. I also mention an interview I did with Eric Cacciatore on his podcast, " Restaurant Unstoppable" episode 298 , in which he and I talk about management and turnover and motivation. It was a blast. Check it out. Related episodes: Conquering Fear Negative Self-Talk The Look & Sound of Self-Esteem Thinking Errors Unmasking a Stand-In

Thu, January 12, 2017

Inhabiting Executive Presence

Getting to the next level of executive presence usually demands the adoption of new behaviors. This month's episode explores a three-step process that helps new behaviors become habits. Helping you change behavior so you can be perceived the way you want to be perceived is the raison d'être of this podcast. If it's time for you develop more effective behaviors, there is an entire category in “The Look & Sound of Leadership" archive that will accelerate your development. The archive is at: essentialcomm.com/podcast The category, "Developing New Behavior" is at: essentialcomm.com/tag/developing-new-behaviors/ Five favorite episodes in that category are: Act “As If” Creating New Behaviors How Behaviors Change The Many Parts of You When Learning Makes Things Worse The episode called "Creating New Behaviors" has a PDF that goes along with it. If you'd like it, just ask. I'd love to send it you. Pop me an email at: info@essentialcomm.com

Thu, December 08, 2016

Combating Emotional Hijacks

When we feel threatened or in danger, an old part of our brains, the one that regulates emotions, hijacks our executive functioning. We say and do things we regret. In the workplace, this can have serious consequences. This month’s Executive Coaching Tip has seven strategies for stopping yourself from getting hijacked. The seven lessons in my conversation with my client, Kimberly, are: Emotional hijacks are real. They happen when your emotions take control over your reason; Emotional hijacks happen because of a trigger. Triggers activate your emotional flight/fight/freeze response. We all have triggers; Your triggers follow a pattern. track them over time and the pattern will emerge. Often those who witness our hijackings know our triggers before we do; The first step to mastering your triggers is to be able to name them. By way of example, two of Kimberly’s were feeling left out and being ignored. Two of mine were feeling ineffectual and fearing a bad outcome. Triggers are personal and are different for each person; Emotional hijacks are usually preceded by a feeling somewhere in the body, most often somewhere in your core; Learning to recognize the pre-hijack feeling in your body as a warning bell can help stop – or at least slow down – the emotional hijacking; When you’re struggling to keep your executive functioning online, you can speak about your struggle. “I’m really upset at the moment.” Or, as Kimberly suggested, “I’m not sure I can make good decisions right now.” Speaking about the feeling helps make sure you don’t act from the feeling. If you want to work on combatting your emotional hijacks. other episodes you can listen to are: Building Emotional Intelligence Conquering Fear The Disruptive Executive – Part Two Dealing With Emotional Responses The Mindful Executive Negative Self-Talk Self-Awareness & Self-Management The entire archive is available to you for free at: essentialcomm.com/podcast

Thu, November 03, 2016

Under Executive Questioning

This episode addresses three issues that arise when you’re facing an executive team. First, what meaning are you making about the event itself? Is that meaning helping you or not helping you? If it’s not helping you, change it. Second, how will you address the moment when you need to say, “I don’t know”? Prepare for it. It’s going to happen. This episode has lots of ideas to try. The final issue is confidence and finding your executive presence; the core of every episode of The Look & Sound of Leadership podcast. In addition to the ideas in this episode, you can ask for a PDF that lists 15 related episodes to help you show up the way you want to show up. Send an email to info@essentialcomm.com and ask for the PDF that goes with this episode. I’d love to send it to you.

Thu, October 06, 2016

Creating Safety for Hard Talks

You can’t be an effective leader if you are not able to have hard conversations that are successful. “Successful” means addressing tough topics in a way that will create change.    One crucial skill to make hard conversations successful is attending to how things are being said. Without an awareness of the ‘how,’ things won’t be as safe as they could be. And if things aren’t safe, they won’t go deep. And if they don’t go deep, they probably won’t stick.   Five other episodes that relate to these skills are: Dealing With Emotional Responses A Difficult Conversation Discussing Difficult Behaviors Handling Defensive Behaviors Three Words You Should Never Say   If you want to dig even deeper into this topic, two books to read are: “Difficult Conversations” from The Harvard Negotiation Project. The authors are Stone, Patton and Heen.  And from the folks at VitalSmarts is “Crucial Conversations.” The authors are Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler.   Both books are great. Lots of scripts. Lots of insights. Lots of tools.

Thu, September 08, 2016

How Teams Fight

Conflict on teams is a good thing. Really! Well, it's good if it’s healthy. This month, two techniques to help team members engage in healthy conflict: arguing about what's best for the business and turning hostile non-verbals into dialogue. Related episodes to help with these skills are: Disagree Agreeably Facilitating Open Dialogue Getting Agreement Holding People Accountable Leadership and Listening Resolving Conflict

Thu, August 04, 2016

Taming Meetings

Meetings are often viewed as a necessary evil to be endured. But they can be engaging events that build people’s skills and accelerate the work. This month, a recipe for mixing up meeting magic. There is a four-meeting model discussed in this episode. If you want a graphic illustration of the model, just look at the online version in the archive: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ or email me at info@essentialcomm.com Two books are also discussed in this month's episode: Patrick Lencioni's " The Five Dysfunctions of a Team " and " Death By Meeting ," both essential reads for team leaders.

Thu, July 07, 2016

Conquering Fear

Fear is natural but insidious. It can carve caverns in the foundations of our confidence, weakening our capacity. This month, a client learns about three kinds of fear and a transformational question that tames fear. A seminal book to help master fear is "Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers. At the end of this month's episode, Tom tells a story about the amazing reach of podcasts.

Thu, June 09, 2016

Building Empathy

Empathy is a crucial component of The Look & Sound of Leadership. Some people have it naturally, others don’t. In either case, it can be developed and learned. This month's episode has lots of ideas about what empathy is, what it isn't, and how you can develop it.   There are lots of resources discussed this month.   A book called "The EQ Edge" by Stein and Book.   A great 3-minute animation by Brene Brown about sympathy versus empathy. It's on the home page of her website: brenebrown.com . Look for the cartoon of a bear and a fox.   Other epsiodes you might listen to are: Building Emotional Intelligence Dealing With Emotional Responses Self-Awareness & Self-Management   You also might go to essentialcomm.com , select "Coaching Tips," then search two subjects in the archive : Managing Yourself Personal Growth & Self-Development   Finally, if you or someone you know is in the middle of a job search, Tom did an interview this month with a wonderful career coach names Alyson Garrido. The interview has lots of helpful tips and tools. You can find it at: LA TalkRadio.com . The show is called "Get Yourself The Job." The show is in their archive for May, 2016.    Be good to the people you're leading. And be good to yourself! Until next month, thanks for listening!

Tue, May 17, 2016

Readers’ Letters — Bonus Episode

A bonus episode! Tom shares email exchanges he had with two podcast listeners. One exchange is about handling people who interrupt presentations. The other is about defining tasks and responsibilities when they're not defined for you. During the podcast, Tom mentions two other episodes that support the ideas here: one episode is “Facilitating Open Dialogue.” The other is “Creating Devoted Followers.” If you’d like more bonus episodes like this one, let Tom know at info@essentialcomm.com .

Thu, May 05, 2016

Personal Histories as Your Brand

How you brand yourself sticks with people a long time.Thismonth, a senior executive dreads having to brand himself duringaninterview – until he learns about the PersonalHistoriestechnique. In addition to giving you this simple yet powerful tool tohelpbuild your personal brand, this episode also references abookcalled "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team." Details about this book is at the end of the podcast. ThereIdiscuss that there are actually TWO books about theFiveDysfunctions. They're quite different. Here’s how. "The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable" has ajuicystory about a team struggling to succeed. In the back of thebook,the author teaches The Five Dysfunctions and explains atarelatively high level how to overcome them. The tools in thisbook– including an assessment your team can fill out – areuseful. If you’d like to know how to build a high-performing team,thesecond book is even more useful. It’s called, "Overcoming TheFiveDysfunctions of a Team: A Field Guide for Leaders, ManagersandFacilitators." This book has detailed, step-by-step instructionstoguide to and your team to high achievement.

Thu, April 07, 2016

Power Tools for Teams — Plus/Delta

This month, The Look & Sound of Leadership gives you a tool for developing your team. A process that takes only minutes to learn, if practiced regularly, this exercise has far-reaching ripples. Welcome to "The Plus/Delta Tool." Other episodes to help you develop as a leader of teams are: Your Team's Best Interests - Part One Your Team's Best Interests - Part Two Coaching Your People Engagement and Performance Performance Reviews Resolving Conflict

Thu, March 03, 2016

The Mindful Executive

From the Harvard Business Review to the New York Times, mindfulness is widely touted as a powerful tool to increase personal effectiveness and well-being. This month’s Executive Coaching Tip explores the “how to” of being mindful with an executive who was already on the path but didn’t know it. This episode shows that mindfulness is neither complex nor mysterious; it just takes practice. More importantly, this episode puts forward the idea that all professional and personal development requires you to be mindful to some degree. If this episode inspires you, there are even more Tips to help support your growth. Go to the Executive Coaching Tips archive and select the category “Personal Growth & Self-Development.” http://essentialcomm.com/tag/personal-growth-self-development/

Thu, February 04, 2016

Coaching Under Attack

Coaching is expensive. Coaching is hard to measure. Coaching is too touchy-feely. There are a million arguments against coaching. This month, a tough CEO puts Tom on the defensive about coaching.   If you'd like to explore this topic further, here are nine related Tips: A Breakdown of Listening Coaching Your People Coaching Versus Therapy Creating New Behaviors High-Stakes Meetings How Behaviors Change Leadership & Listening Self-Knowledge as Leadership Who’s Coachable   Or you can search the free archive  of all ten years'  worth of Tips. Use the "Search by Subject" tool to look at the category called "Personal Growth & Self-Development."  There are more than 40 Tips in that cateogry to help support your professional development.   At the end of this Tip, Tom invites you to become a client. If you're interested in being coached, send him an email at  info@essentialcomm.com

Thu, January 07, 2016

High-Stakes Meetings

The goal of this episode is to give you a three-step process to help you succeed in meetings when you feel there’s a lot at stake. Step one: Clarify the Story. Four other episodes can also help with this step: “ Sounding Executive ,” “ Communicating With Clarity ,” “ Executive Presenting ” and, the mother of all communication tools: “ Sorting and Labeling .” Step two: Do Your Homework. This step is different for everyone. Sometimes it means getting information from another department. Sometimes it means researching data. Sometimes it means talking to people who’ve gone before you.  Most people seem to know what homework to do; the struggle is finding time. Because we’re busy we think, “Oh, I’ll let the homework slide.” But I promise – doing your homework will make you feel much more confident. That brings us to the final step: Managing Yourself. In this episode I mention several concepts to help you manage yourself that you can find in other episodes. “ Assume Equality ” is a critical self-management tool. Another, to help manage feeling like a victim, is called “ Status .” Another is called “ Choosing Stories Over Truth .” This month’s episode is all about preparing for a high-stakes meeting with a tough company president. Next month’s episode will be about what happened when I was finally in the room face-to-face with her. 

Thu, December 03, 2015

Showing Teeth

For many businesses, uncertainty and ambiguity is their new norm. In such anxious times, people long for leaders who will make tough decisions, stand behind those decisions, and protect their people. In some circles, this is called “showing teeth.” In this episode, I refer to The Center for Talent Innovation  and their white paper on Executive Presence . I also refer to four related episodes: Assertion versus Aggression   Gravitas Speaking for Yourself Speaking Your Truth For more ideas about “Showing Teeth,” you might also check out all the episodes in the Assertiveness  category of the Executive Coaching Tips archive . The Executive Coaching Tip that explains “unconscious competence” is Creating New Behaviors .

Wed, November 04, 2015

Engagement & Performance

Lack of engagement can assume many disguises but there is one outcome that is predictable: poor performance. What would you say if you found out you could get people engaged – and improve performance – with just two questions? Sounds like a miracle, right? That’s what I thought, too.

Wed, September 30, 2015

Managing Disruptive Executives

Disruptive executives take many forms—bullies, catastrophizers, resisters, you name it. But no matter what mask they wear, they create upheaval. Whether the disrupter is your boss, your peer or your direct report, coping successfully requires two things: courage and skills. Here’s how to find both.

Wed, September 02, 2015

Executive Presenting

Presentations are a golden opportunity to display your executive presence. Here are six behaviors that’ll help you command the room and deepen your brand.

Wed, August 05, 2015

A Breakdown of Listening

We all think we’re better listeners than we really are. Luckily, we all have the capacity to improve our skills. But not all listening is the same. Here’s a breakdown.

Wed, July 08, 2015

In Sync Communications

When you’re communicating, you not only need to fly through the intricate patterns of your own information, you need to be sure we can thread that needle along with you.

Wed, June 10, 2015

Executive Gender Bias

The research is unequivocal: in the workplace, women play on a tilted field. Everyone contributes to work's off-center world -- even women! This episode explores ways to bring the tipping back in balance.

Wed, May 06, 2015

The Narcissistic Executive

Narcissistic executives can be infuriating. And, unless you’re one of their favored few, they can be dangerous, too. These five actions will help protect you—and keep you sane.

Wed, April 01, 2015

Coaching Your People

Helping develop your people is a win for everyone. But developing people is quite different from managing people: developing people requires you to be a coach. Here’s how.

Wed, March 04, 2015

Status

We all assign ourselves a certain status. Of course, that means we assign status to others, too. The question is: do people experience your status as appropriate? Or do you need to dial it up? Or down!

Thu, February 05, 2015

Defining Success

“I’ll know it when I see it” is a natural thought when starting a new project.  Feeling “It’s just not right” is natural when a situation is nagging. But your followers need you to tell them specifically what success looks like. If you don’t tell them, how will they know?

Tue, January 06, 2015

Mentoring & Mentors

Finding good mentors – and using them wisely – can change your career trajectory. So can being a mentor to others. Here are actions for succeeding in both roles.

Wed, December 03, 2014

The Honorable Executive

Executives create honor in the workplace not by declarations and speeches. Rather, honor is built in the display of small, consistent behaviors every day. This month’s Tip examines two of those behaviors and one over-arching factor.

Thu, November 06, 2014

Managing Performance: Up or Out

Poor performers often linger far too long. Leaders who avoid these performance issues damage their reputations and weaken their teams. Here are five actions to help you manage poor performers up or out.

Thu, October 02, 2014

Thinking Errors

Thinking errors are tough to spot in yourself because they seem true.  Usually we've believed them for a long time. Here are ways to free yourself from thinking errors

Thu, September 04, 2014

Pursuing A Promotion

We'd all like to be given a promotion merely because it's our turn. But earning a promotion is actually a job in itself. Mastering the four factors described here will accelerate the process.

Wed, August 06, 2014

Managing Up

We all want bosses who are sensitive to our needs. But savvy players know we need to manage our bosses at least as much as they manage us.

Wed, July 09, 2014

Personal Branding

Each one of us has a personal brand. Every day we reinforce our brands consciously or unconsciously. The tools in this episode will help you craft your brand with intention. 

Thu, June 05, 2014

Leading Through Delegation

Your ability to execute senior-level work correlates directly to your ability to delegate effectively. The better you are delegation, the higher you can rise.

Wed, April 30, 2014

Achieving Authenticity

Leaders who are authentic display  The Look & Sound of Leadership ™ .  We follow them eagerly. But how to achieve authenticity? Here are five tools.

Thu, April 03, 2014

Your Goodwill Bank Account

Certain people seem to have unlimited leeway when they make a mistake or miss a deadline while others seem to acquire black marks and penalties for the most minor infractions. This month’s episode explains why.

Tue, March 04, 2014

Captivate Your Audience

If you don’t grab your audience at the start, it’s tough to win ‘em over later. The two behaviors described here will help you engage your listeners before you’ve said a word.

Wed, February 05, 2014

Creating Devoted Followers

We all sense the subtle messages we send each other. When those messages have even a whiff of disapproval, your followers may begin to cool.

Wed, January 08, 2014

Perception Is Reality

Accepting how others see you can be a struggle. Until you can, you may not seem ready for the next step in your career.

Thu, December 05, 2013

Taming Email

An ongoing series of Executive Coaching Tips designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.

Thu, November 07, 2013

Speaking Your Truth

We all have moments when we don’t speak up because we worry what other people might think. Here’s a way to help you find—and keep!—your voice. 11/07/13

Thu, October 03, 2013

The Generous Executive

Choosing to collaborate often feels like inviting an invader to sit down and eat your food. It can be done, but it doesn’t feel natural. And why would you? Where’s the benefit?

Thu, September 05, 2013

Gravitas

Gravitas is credibility that goes beyond titles or credentials. Without it, you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership ™. This Tip will help you get it and keep it.

Thu, August 01, 2013

Soliciting Feedback

Without good feedback about yourself, you can’t achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership . But how can you get good feedback about yourself?

Thu, July 11, 2013

The High-Maintenance Executive

Being “high maintenance” can derail a career. Here are four mistakes people make that get them labeled “high maintenance.” And four actions to help you avoid the high maintenance label.

Thu, June 06, 2013

Capitalizing on Differences in Style

Our own work style seems completely natural—to us! But what about all those people whose styles are different? What do you do with them?

Thu, May 02, 2013

Creating New Behaviors

We create impressions, in part, through our behaviors. And changing behaviors can feel overwhelming. This four-stage process makes behavioral change manageable.

Thu, April 04, 2013

Building Emotional Intelligence

Companies invest in developing Emotional Intelligence (EQ) because its presence improves performance. EQ has four steps. Here is number one. 04/04/13

Thu, March 07, 2013

Shouldering the Burden of Leadership

Every leader casts a long shadow. Casual comments can have huge ripples. Such is the burden of leadership. How well are you shouldering the burden?

Thu, February 07, 2013

The Flexible Leader

Everyone you manage is at a different stage of their professional and personal development. Are you managing them all the same way?

Thu, January 10, 2013

Communicating with Clarity

Expert communicators put up signposts so their listeners can follow them easily. Using these “frameworks” can distinguish you as a clear and expert communicator.

Thu, December 06, 2012

Upward Feedback

Giving upward feedback can be a dicey proposition. The three-step formula in this Executive Coaching Tip will make that potentially dangerous enterprise a whole lot safer.

Thu, November 01, 2012

Turn Values into Behavior

Companies proudly post their values in their lobbies and on their websites. But values are mere slogans until leaders help people transform those ideas into concrete actions. But that shift can be difficult. Even explosive.

Thu, October 04, 2012

Self-Awareness & Self-Management

Leaders who are technically gifted leaders are often less gifted when managing their relationships. To avoid derailing—and to have healthy relationships—leaders need the two skills addressed in this month’s podcast.

Thu, September 06, 2012

Getting Unstuck

It’s usually painfully obvious to us when we’re stuck. What’s frustrating is that we can’t get ourselves unstuck. Here are three practical ways for getting unstuck that are particularly helpful in the workplace.

Thu, August 02, 2012

The Well-Balanced Executive

This 100th edition of The Look & Sound of Leadership™ discusses the best predictor of an executive’s long-term effectiveness.

Thu, July 12, 2012

The Disruptive Executive - Part Two

Trying to manage a disrupter is tough work. Managing yourself while managing a disrupter is no easier! These four tools will help you contain yourself during emotional encounters.

Thu, June 07, 2012

The Disruptive Executive - Part One

Trying to manage disrupters is like getting pummeled by a heavyweight. Here are five tools to help get traction with the disrupters in your life.

Thu, May 10, 2012

The Exhausted Executive

Many high performers are running on empty. Here are tools to replenish your reserves.

Thu, April 05, 2012

The Distracted Executive

Trying to get your message through to a distracted person isn't easy. It takes mental energy, preparation and willingness to repeat yourself. But what happens if YOU are the distracted person?

Thu, March 08, 2012

The Many Parts of You

Recognizing and managing the many, often contradictory, parts of you is crucial to becoming an authentic leader.

Thu, February 02, 2012

Your Team's Best Interests - Part Two

Engaged and productive employees believe their boss has their best interest at heart.

Thu, January 12, 2012

Your Team's Best Interests - Part One

Engaged and productive employees believe their boss has their best interest at heart.

Thu, December 01, 2011

Performance Reviews

Six lessons for delivering meaningful performance reviews.

Thu, November 03, 2011

Leading Teams

Five questions your team needs to answer if they're all going to move in the same direction. Plus a four-layer pyramid that needs defining.

Thu, October 06, 2011

Facilitating Open Dialogue

Tips and techniques for the extremely difficult task of getting people to speak openly in public forums—or in private!

Thu, September 01, 2011

Smiling—The Look of Leadership

Your smile can be a credibility builder or a credibility killer. How is your smile working for you?

Thu, August 11, 2011

Leading Change

Navigating the minefield of change is fraught with danger. Here's your road map through change's treacherous terrain.

Thu, July 07, 2011

Resolving Conflict

Three actions, plus three behaviors, to help warring factions to lay down their arms and get back to work.

Thu, June 02, 2011

The Power of PowerPoint

PowerPoint can be a blessing but all-too-often is a curse. Here are 8 tips to harness the positive power of PowerPoint.

Thu, May 19, 2011

Compelling Openings

Thu, May 05, 2011

Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries

The ability to create a sense of intimacy in the workplace leads to deep and long-lasting trust. And it’s not about being personal.

Thu, April 21, 2011

Recommendations & Resources

Thu, April 07, 2011

Stop Giving Away Your Secrets

Transparency is great in business—except when you tip your hand and reveal thoughts and feelings that are better kept to yourself.

Thu, March 17, 2011

Women as Powerful Communicators

Thu, March 03, 2011

Making Stories Soar

Stories stick with people long after data becomes a blur.

Thu, February 17, 2011

Questions as Leadership

Thu, February 03, 2011

Leadership and Listening

Two listening behaviors that will get different results and foster collaboration.

Thu, January 20, 2011

Self-Knowledge as Leadership

Thu, January 06, 2011

Building Rapport

Rapport is easy when people’s styles match. But when there’s a mismatch, what then?

Thu, December 16, 2010

Smoothing Harsh Edges

Thu, December 02, 2010

Three Little Phrases with Big Impact

Phrases to keep people listening to your data and to get people to comply with your decisions.

Thu, November 18, 2010

Getting Growth Acknowledged

Thu, November 04, 2010

Compassion During Change

When a star performer suddenly declines there’s always a reason. The question is where should you look for the reason?

Thu, October 21, 2010

The Look & Sound of Self-Esteem

Thu, October 07, 2010

Strategic Apologies

Apologies can enhance or damage a relationship. Too few can be as damaging as too many. Here are four apologies—two to emulate, two to avoid.

Thu, September 23, 2010

Handling Defensive Behaviors

Thu, September 09, 2010

Unmasking a Stand-In

Interacting with phantoms from the past is dangerous both personally and professionally.

Thu, August 19, 2010

Leadership Behavior in Meetings

Thu, August 05, 2010

The Power of Rehearsal

Rehearsal doesn’t mean reciting by rote.

Thu, July 22, 2010

Repairing Damaged Relationships

Thu, July 08, 2010

Three Words You Should Never Say

Want to boost your credibility? Stop saying these words.

Thu, June 24, 2010

Negative Self-Talk

Thu, June 10, 2010

Don't Take It Personally

Think that insult was about you? Think again!

Thu, May 20, 2010

Eliminating Distractions

Thu, May 06, 2010

Dealing With Emotional Responses

Six tips for handling yourself when faced with others’ emotions.

Thu, April 15, 2010

Delivering Tough Feedback

Thu, April 08, 2010

Disagree Agreeably

How to disagree without being disagreeable.

Thu, March 25, 2010

Sounding Executive

Thu, March 11, 2010

Getting Agreement

Giving instructions without getting agreement is a recipe for disappointment.

Thu, February 25, 2010

Accessing Your Best Thinking

Thu, February 11, 2010

Act "As If"

This fundamental actor’s tool helps you be perceived the way you want to be perceived.

Thu, January 28, 2010

Speaking For Yourself

Thu, January 14, 2010

Assertion Versus Aggression

One builds relationships, the other damages them. Are you clear which is which, and why?

Thu, December 17, 2009

Stories -- The Ultimate Persuaders

Thu, December 03, 2009

Leadership and Self-Deception

Our self-limiting behaviors are invisible to us but apparent to others.

Thu, November 19, 2009

Managing Your Strengths

Thu, November 05, 2009

Answering Essay Questions

Avoid a long-winded ramble with this three-step model

Thu, October 22, 2009

Creating Clarity

Thu, October 08, 2009

"I Hate Politics!"

Hating politics puts you out of the game that’s being played around you.

Thu, September 24, 2009

Getting Good Feedback

Thu, September 10, 2009

Networking

A crucial skill even if you’re in your job for life—which you’re not!

Thu, August 20, 2009

Your Workplace as Calling Card

Thu, August 06, 2009

Sorting and Labeling

The communication tool that will set you above the rest.

Thu, July 23, 2009

Holding People Accountable

Thu, July 09, 2009

I Talk Too Fast!

What happens in our brains when we hear someone talk “too fast.”

Thu, June 25, 2009

How Behaviors Change

Thu, June 11, 2009

Positive Opposites

Dichotomies are great learning tools—when they’re framed positively.

Thu, May 28, 2009

Listen Without An Agenda

Thu, May 14, 2009

Choosing Persistence

Two stories to fuel persistence in the face of frustrations.

Thu, April 30, 2009

Playback as Feedback

Thu, April 16, 2009

A Difficult Conversation

Discussing touchy, even explosive, subjects.

Thu, April 02, 2009

Sounding Well-Spoken

Thu, March 19, 2009

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Hold yourself accountable for what comes out of your mouth.

Thu, March 05, 2009

Speed of Thought

Thu, February 19, 2009

Focus in the Face of Distractions

Results are important and so is how they’re achieved.

Thu, February 05, 2009

Giving Powerful Feedback

Thu, January 22, 2009

Elevator Speeches

Create crisp executive summaries of everyday topics.

Thu, December 11, 2008

Messaging During Hard Times

A time-tested formula for communicating in difficult times.

Thu, December 04, 2008

Becoming More Expressive

Thu, November 20, 2008

What Compelling Speakers Share

Two qualities that will keep your listeners listening.

Thu, November 13, 2008

Being Concise

Thu, November 06, 2008

Handling Feedback Effectively

Thu, October 30, 2008

Managing Beyond Bad Behavior

“Repeated Headlines” can rein in ongoing bad behavior.

Thu, October 23, 2008

Assume Equality

Thu, October 16, 2008

Act with Intention

Thu, October 09, 2008

Project The Image You Want

Manage how you’re perceived in the workplace.

Thu, October 02, 2008

The Art of Chat

Thu, September 25, 2008

Choosing Stories Over "Truth"

Thu, September 18, 2008

Answer What's Asked

How to sound executive when answering questions.

Thu, September 11, 2008

Driving Your Message Home

Thu, September 04, 2008

Owning Miscommunications

Thu, August 28, 2008

Coaching Versus Therapy

Determining what coaching is and what it isn’t.

Thu, August 21, 2008

Keeping Repeated Material Fresh

Thu, August 14, 2008

Managing Your Boss

Thu, August 07, 2008

When Learning Makes Things Worse

Integrating new behaviors may actually send you backwards.

Thu, July 31, 2008

Building Trust

Thu, July 24, 2008

Staying on Track

Thu, July 17, 2008

Who's Coachable?

Can your direct reports be coached to achieve their potential? Can you?

Thu, July 10, 2008

Remembering Names

Thu, July 03, 2008

Managing Nervousness

Thu, June 26, 2008

Creating Charisma

Turn up your heat from a gentle simmer to a rolling boil.

Thu, June 19, 2008

Lead With Your Heart

Thu, June 12, 2008

Choose the Impression You Make

Fri, June 06, 2008

Ask for What You Want

Give yourself permission to ask without apology or fear.

Thu, May 15, 2008

Discussing Difficult Behaviors

Thu, January 26, 2006

Leading With Your Heart