Java with Juli - Making Sense of God & Sex
Psychologist and author Dr. Juli Slattery doesn’t like small talk. In this weekly podcast, she dives into the “taboo” questions Christians are afraid to ask—or don’t know who to ask—about sexuality, intimacy, marriage, singleness, and more. Every episode is an open invitation to join Juli “at the table” for a deeper look at the good, the hard, the healing, and the holy in God’s design for sexuality. Java with Juli is a ministry of Authentic Intimacy.
Mon, April 28, 2025
#564 Why People Turn to Porn and How to Break the Cycle
Sadly, wrestling with pornography addiction is increasingly commonplace. But how do people find pornography? And why do they keep going back to it? In the final of this series revisiting Reclaim, Troy and Melissa Haas of HopeQuest, share their testimony and expertise around pornography addiction, and what it takes to overcome it. Guests: Troy and Melissa Haas Troy and Melissa’s Website: hopequestgroup.org/ Troy and Melissa’s Instagram: @hopequestgroup Partner financially with Authentic Intimacy! Resource: #549 What the Latest Research Shows About Porn Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, April 21, 2025
#563 Practical Advice for Talking to Kids About Sex and Culture
Navigating the teenage years has never been easy, whether you’re the parent or the child. So as parents, how can you help your teenager or pre-teen have a better experience? What practically can you do to put them in a stronger position to navigate their teenage years safely, with more clarity about God’s love for them and design for their sexuality? Three guests – James Talbert, Josh Miller, and Chelsey Nutgren – join Juli to share some much-needed practical advice for raising surrendered kids in our current cultural moment. Guests: James Talbert, Josh Miller, Chelsey Nugteren James’ Website: Citizens Akron Josh’s Website: Riverwood Chapel Akron Website: AXIS.org Website: Center for Humane Technology Resource Series: Blog: Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Why, When, and How Blog: 5 Reasons You’re Not Talking to Your Kids About Sex (and How to Overcome Them) Blog: Sexual Integrity: The Heart of Sexually Discipling Your Kids Find out more about donating to Authentic Intimacy. Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, April 14, 2025
#562 The Best Way to Stop Fighting in Your Marriage
James 4:1 so famously writes, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?” It’s not surprising that marriage is a hotbed for conflict. When you live so closely with someone else, it’s easy to see their flaws, shortcomings, and mistakes in high definition. So what can you do to stop constantly fighting? In this special session from Reclaim 2024, Brad Rhoads shares what helped cut fighting and elevate fun in his marriage. Guests: Brad Rhodes, Grace Marriage Brad’s Website: gracemarriage.com Brad’s Instagram: @grace_marriage Blog: Forgiveness is Hard, Grace is Harder Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, April 07, 2025
#561 Help for Christian Wives Who Don’t Like Sex
We’ve talked about the fact that many women struggle to ‘flip the switch’ and enjoy married sex, and we’ve talked about what might contribute to that. But we haven’t talked about what husbands can do to help their wives enjoy sex. Juli shares a conversation from Gary Thomas’ Podcast where she was a panelist alongside Debra Fileta and Belah Rose. Host: Gary Thomas Featured Speakers: Dr. Juli Slattery, Debra Fileta, MA, LPC and Belah Rose Gary’s Website: garythomas.com Gary’s Newsletter: garythomasbooks.substack.com Book: Married Sex by Gary Thomas and Debra Fileta, MA, LPC Book: Rethinking Sexuality by Dr. Juli Slattery Book: God, Sex and Your Marriage by Dr. Juli Slattery Juli’s Website: authenticintimacy.com Debra’s Website: debrafileta.com Belah’s Website: delightyourmarriage.com Please support Joy and Zack Skarka on GoFundMe Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, March 31, 2025
#560 Can Biblical Churches be LGBTQ-friendly?
There are so many challenges that come with leading a church well, especially when it comes to how to express their stance on Biblical sexuality. Many want to be a place where people can wrestle with the truth about God and sex and figure things out, while also being sure to prioritize biblical orthodoxy. How can they do both? Pastor Evan Wickham, from Park Hill Church in San Diego, joins Juli to share lessons he’s learned and what his church is doing to lead biblically with clarity and love. NOTE: We had some technical issues with recording this episode, but wanted to make sure you got to hear a great conversation--thanks for being patient with us! Guest: Evan Wickham Park Hill’s Instagram: @prkhllchrch Evan’s Instagram: @evanwickham Park Hill’s Website: parkhillsd.church Join our email list! Blog: Has God Changed His Mind About Sex? Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, March 24, 2025
#559 What if Male Sexuality Is More Complex Than We Think?
Historically, inside and outside the church, male sexuality has been talked about as a purely orgasm-driven experience. But is it possible we have oversimplified the male sexual experience? What if there’s more to the way men think and feel about sex than we’ve previously considered? Dr. Corey Allan joins Juli for a very different conversation about male sexuality. Guest: Dr. Corey Allan Corey’s Website: smr.fm Corey’s Instagram: @sexymarriageradio Resource: Purity Culture Failed Men Too Sign up for the email list! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, March 17, 2025
#558 Christians Need To Change The Way They Talk About Married Sex
As we work to change the purity narrative and undo many of its effects, we have to look at some of the continued harm it does to marriages. There’s still so much missing in the way Christian couples are taught about marital intimacy. How can Christians celebrate the gift of sex that God gave in marriage? Juli shares a conversation she had with the late Dr. Doug Rosenau, where he shared both what is missing and what is needed in the church when it comes to talking about the beauty of sex in marriage. Guest: Dr. Doug Rosenau, Institute for Sexual Wholeness Institute for Sexual Wholeness Book: The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment by Clifford and Joyce Penner Book: A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy by Douglas E. Rosenau Podcast: #543 How the Old Testament Reveals God’s Heart for Women, Sex, and Covenant Love Transcript 00:00 - Introduction to Christian Sexuality Conversations 03:14 - The Church’s Perspective on Sex in Marriage 16:26 - Understanding Female Sexuality and Mutual Pleasure 29:13 - Nuancing Gender and Desire in Sexual Conversations Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, March 10, 2025
#557 Understanding The Harm of Purity Culture and How to Move Forward
One of the biggest criticisms of purity culture is the way it reduced sexuality to a list of do’s and don’ts, but there are lots of other reasons millennial men and women report feeling burned by it. Dr. Camden Morgante, author of “Recovering from Purity Culture”, shares some of the harmful narratives that formed the movement, and provides some alternative approaches to discussing sexuality. Guest: Dr. Camden Morgante Website: drcamden.com Instagram: @drcamden Book: Recovering From Purity Culture by Dr. Camden Morgante Free Resource: Why You Still Need Boundaries As You Pursue Sexual Integrity Sign up for our email list! Timestamps 00:00 Introduction to Purity Culture 02:13 Camden’s Personal Journey and Professional Insights 05:58 Understanding the Harm of Purity Culture 09:52 Navigating Sexual Awakening in Adolescence 13:58 The Importance of Teaching Values 15:57 Dating Dynamics and Courtship Culture 22:08 Modesty and Its Misinterpretations 25:07 The Role of Patriarchy in Purity Culture 30:54 Steps Towards Healing and Wholeness 39:03 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, March 03, 2025
#556 Why We Can't Ignore What Offends Us About Jesus
If questions about sex lead to questions about God, it’s important that we know and follow Jesus as He really is. Rick Lawrence, author of “Editing Jesus”, joins Juli to discuss how many American Christians make Jesus into an image other than Himself. Guest: Rick Lawrence Rick’s Website: ricklawrence.com Book: Editing Jesus: Confronting the Distorted Faith of the American Church by Rick Lawrence Join our email list! Guide: “3 Reasons Questions About Sex Lead to Questions about God” Timestamps 00:00 Understanding God and Sexuality 02:50 The Journey to “Editing Jesus” 06:11 Confronting Cultural Misunderstandings 08:57 The Mud Puddles of Scripture 11:57 The Hard Sayings of Jesus 15:12 Intimacy and Relationship with Jesus 18:02 The Challenge of Self-Centeredness 21:01 Joy vs Happiness in Faith 23:49 The Role of Suffering in Growth 27:01 Practical Steps to Know Jesus 29:52 Conclusion and Resources Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, February 24, 2025
#555 Can You Have A Great Marriage Without Sex? Juli Answers Your Questions
In this special Q&A episode, Juli answers your questions about sex and marriage. You’ll hear answers to questions like, why did God make us sexual when it causes so much pain? Does sex matter in marriage? And, is it possible to be too focused on sex in marriage? Join Juli and Hannah for a brief exploration of good biblical theology on sex and marriage. Co-host: Hannah Nitz Hannah’s Website: hannahnitz.com Hannah’s Instagram: @hannahnitz Blog: Overcoming Sexual Shame and Fear in Marriage Blog: Help! How Much Sex is “Normal” for Married Couples? Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, February 17, 2025
#554 Sex and the Female Body: How to Swap Shame For Celebration
How can women overcome fear and shame around their bodies and embrace the beauty of God’s design for sex? Whether from purity culture, other messages, or poor experiences, many women don’t see their bodies and sex as good or beautiful. Francie Winslow, host of the podcast “Heaven in Your Home” went through her own struggle with this, and joins Juli to explain how she is learning to embrace the goodness of God’s design. Guest: Francie Winslow Website: franciewinslow.com Instagram: @franciewinslow Strong Foundation To Starting Well: Claiming A Healthy Vision For Married Sex Pleasure & Orgasm: Passion & Practicals Of A Wife Receiving Pleasure Java with Juli: #550 What to Do When Sex is Painful Join our email list! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, February 10, 2025
#553 Divorce and Separation: How to Know What to Do
When a marriage is in crisis, it can be hard to know what the next step should be. Is divorce the only option? Are there other steps available that couples often miss? Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family, joins Juli to talk about some of the options couples can explore. Guest: Dr. Greg Smalley Focus on the Family Website Java with Juli: #489 Thinking About Divorce? You Might Want to Listen to This First Java with Juli: #519 Why we Need to be Better at Caring for Divorced People in the Church Blog: Why and How to Pursue a Healing Separation Blog: Is Divorce the Right Answer? Become a member! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, February 03, 2025
#552 When You Want Sex More Than Your Husband Does
It’s reported that 20-30% of marriages have a higher-desire wife and lower-desire husband. This means that while many women may wish their husbands requested less sex, there are also many women who experience the opposite. For the woman who wants her husband to want sex a little more, Sheri Mueller, LCPC, author of “I Want Him to Want Me”, joins Juli to share insights, wisdom, and encouragement. Guest: Sheri Mueller, LCPC Sheri’s Website: marriagetrac.com Sheri’s Instagram: @growthtrac Book: I Want Him to Want Me by Sheri Mueller, LCPC Blog: Why Christians Need to Care About Sex Missed last week’s episode? Listen to it here . Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, January 27, 2025
#551 How Keeping Secrets Keeps Us in Shame
What secret are you keeping? Many of us keep secrets to protect ourselves. But secrets also hide us from others. They can prevent us from being fully known and fully loved. Jason VanRuler, author of “Get Past Your Past”, joins Juli to share some insights about secrecy and why it’s worth us living in the light. Guest: Jason VanRuler Website: jasonvr.com Instagram: @jason.vanruler Book: Get Past Your Past by Jason VanRuler Java with Juli: #539 The Impact Of Shame And How To Overcome It Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, January 20, 2025
#550 What to Do When Sex is Painful
Sexual pain makes sex challenging, stressful, and a source of tension rather than a source of pleasure. Sadly, it’s a very present reality for many couples, and one that can quickly erode sexual intimacy for years or even decades. Many women are told to ‘watch porn’, ‘drink wine’, or ‘relax’, with no clear diagnosis found and no real solution given. Today’s guest, Jess Setiz, knows this reality all too well. Now a trauma-informed pelvic health practitioner, Jess struggled through painful sex for 8 years before she and her husband were able to find a solution that really worked. She joins Juli to share what she learned, and how she’s helping other women enjoy pleasurable, pain-free sex. Guest: Jess Seitz Website: painfreeintimacy.com Instagram: @painfree.intimacy Facebook Group Java with Juli: #547 How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex Check out more resources on sex in marriage Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, January 13, 2025
#549 What the Latest Research Shows About Porn
How many men and women consume porn on a regular basis? How common is porn use within the church? How is porn affecting us? Nick Stumbo, Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, unpacks the surprising results of a recent study conducted by Barna on pornography use, and shares potential solutions. Guest: Nick Stumbo, Pure Desire Ministries Website: puredesire.org Instagram: @puredesirepdmi Beyond the Porn Phenomenon Report Java with Juli: #542 A Pastor, His Porn Problem, and How His Church Restored Him Missed last week’s episode? Click here to listen to it! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, January 06, 2025
#548 How To Repair Your Relationships
What does it take to have good friendships, healthy family relationships, or a strong marriage? John Van Epp, creator of the RAM theoretical model, has some strong and well-researched ideas about what it takes to make your relationships stronger than ever. Guest: Dr. John Van Epp John’s Website: lovethinks.com Book: Endgame: The Church's Strategic Move to Save Faith and Family in America by John Van Epp and J.P. De Gance Book: Becoming Better Together by John Van Epp Website: ramseries.com Java with Juli: #539 The Impact Of Shame And How To Overcome It Learn more about online book studies Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, December 30, 2024
#547 How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex
Talking about sex and sexual issues with your spouse can be intimidating. Dr Corey Allan breaks down why discussing sex can be challenging for married couples, and what husbands and wives can do about it. Corey’s Website: smr.fm Corey’s Instagram: @sexymarriageradio Explore more resources on sex in marriage! Java with Juli: #528 The 3 Superpowers Your Sex Life is Missing Java with Juli: #534 Four Surprising Things Killing Your Wife’s Sex Drive Blog: How To Talk to Your Spouse About Sex Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, December 23, 2024
#546 Answering the Most Popular Questions on Sex, Dating, and Singleness
Juli and Hannah answer your questions about sex and singleness in this week’s special Java with Juli episode. Hannah’s Website: hannahnitz.com Hannah’s Instagram: @hannahnitz Explore resources on Singleness and Dating Check out our online book studies! Partner with Authentic Intimacy— donate today! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, December 16, 2024
#545 George Barna: Parenting and Discipleship in a Sexually Chaotic World
Raising your kids to love and know Jesus has never been easy, and in a culture saturated with messages about human sexuality, it can feel next to impossible to raise your kids with biblical values and a Christian sexual ethic. How do we effectively disciple our kids? Dr. George Barna, founder of the Barna Group and America’s foremost faith and culture researcher, joins Juli to talk about his new book, “Raising Spiritual Champions”, and what parents can do to equip their kids with a robust faith. Website: georgebarna.com Book: Raising Spiritual Champions by Dr. George Barna Trying to teach your kids about Christian sexuality? Check out our free resource, “10 Questions and Answers Your Child May Ask About Sexuality” Partner with Authentic Intimacy— donate today! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, December 09, 2024
#544 What You Need To Know About Sex, Aging and Menopause
How do you know you’ve started menopause? Can you get pregnant during menopause? What happens to your sex drive during menopause? Experts Dr. Debra Taylor, LMFT and Dr. Michael Sytsma, CST, CPS, join Juli to share some crucial information about menopause, options for easing symptoms, and how husbands can be sympathetic supporters at this pivotal moment in a woman’s life. Guests: Dr. Debra Taylor, LMFT and Dr. Michael Sytsma, CST, CPS Debra’s Website: debraltaylortherapy.com Mike’s Website: intimatemarriage.org Mike’s Instagram: @buildingintimatemarriages @drsytsma Find out more about our Online Book Study groups! Partner with Authentic Intimacy! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, December 02, 2024
#543 How the Old Testament Reveals God's Heart for Women, Sex, and Covenant Love
Was the God of the Old Testament less benevolent than the God of the New Testament? Or are too many of us missing the greater truths and narratives woven into a beautiful, historic text? Dr. Sandra Richter, author of The Epic of Eden, joins Juli to bring a rich and refreshing perspective to women, God, and the Old Testament. Guest: Dr. Sandra Richter Sandra’s Website: linktr.ee/sandralynrichter Sandra’s Instagram: @sandralynrichter Book: The Epic of Eden: A Christian Entry into the Old Testament by Dr. Sandra Richter Book: Deborah Bible Study Guide plus Streaming Video: Unlikely Heroes and the Book of Judges (Epic of Eden) by Dr. Sandra Richter Donate to Authentic Intimacy! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, November 25, 2024
#542 A Pastor, His Porn Problem, and How His Church Restored Him
What should a pastor with a porn problem do? How should his church respond? Pastor Garrett Kell joins Juli on the podcast to talk about his years-long struggle with porn, coming clean, and how his church responded to his sin. Garrett’s Instagram: @j.garrett.kell Book: Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin and the Promises of God by J. Garrett Kell Donate to Authentic Intimacy on Giving Tuesday! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, November 18, 2024
#541 Teaching Sexuality: Pitfalls, Purity Culture, and the Best Path Forward
Purity culture taught a lot of unhelpful things and left a lot of questions unanswered for believers. While it’s clear a new approach is needed, it’s challenging to know how to leave legalism behind and teach a true-to-scripture vision of sexuality. Noah Filipiak, the author of Beyond the Battle, joins Juli to share where he sees a need to educate today’s youth, and why he wrote his new book, “Needed Navigation”. Guest: Noah Filipiak Book: Beyond the Battle by Noah Filipiak Book: Needed Navigation: A Teen’s Guide to His or Her Identity in Christ in a Sex & Porn-Filled World by Noah Filipiak Java with Juli: #535 What Men Weren’t Taught About Sex (with Sam Jolman) Partner with AI SUBMIT A QUESTION FOR THE SHOW! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
Mon, November 11, 2024
#540 A Pastoral Perspective on Supporting Those with Gender Dysphoria
Knowing what God’s word says about a topic and walking that out in a way that honors Him and dignifies others are two very different things. So how do we move in love and integrity towards friends and loved ones struggling with gender dysphoria? Pastor Sam Ferguson joins Juli to get practical about loving the hearts of hurting people while staying rooted in God’s Word. Guest: Sam Ferguson Book: Does God Care About Gender Identity? By Sam Ferguson SUBMIT A QUESTION FOR THE SHOW! Java with Juli with Dr. Juli Slattery – Christian Discussions on Marriage, Sex and Singleness.
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