Deep conversations with women about their personal experience of sex and female sexuality. Sex and Intimacy Coach Leah Carey hosts the type of conversations you usually only have with your best girlfriend late at night over a bottle of wine. Leah interviews people (including people brought up as little girls plus transgender women) of all sizes, shapes, ages, orientations, relationship structures, kink levels, races, religions, cultural backgrounds, and more. The conversations on Good Girls Talk About Sex are warm, welcoming, and non-judgmental. You are likely to hear stories that reflect your own experiences and let you know that you're not...
Thu, December 12, 2024
In the final episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex , I talk about why I've decided to end the podcast and what's coming next. For those wishing to keep the podcast legacy alive, the archives are available for download at leahcarey.com/audio . Safeguard this invaluable content before any legal restrictions come into play. A heartfelt thank you for your unwavering support through the years. Though the podcast is ending, our conversation is not. Join me on YouTube, and let's keep working to make a more positive world. With love and gratitude, Leah 💕 GET THE ARCHIVES: 📢📢 leahcarey.com/audio 📢📢 LET'S STAY IN TOUCH: YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@xoleahcarey Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/xoleahcarey/ Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@xoleahcarey Join the newsletter to keep current with updates - https://www.leahcarey.com/three-minute-game/ Book a free consultation : https://www.leahcarey.com/discoverycall/ OTHER LINKS: Leeja Miller's Project 2025 video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9k3UvaC5m7o NBC News THINK op-ed - https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/learning-sex-education-can-save-kids-from-groomers-rcna26931
Tue, July 30, 2024
Jessica's world was turned upside down when her husband died suddenly and she uncovered evidence of his endless lies and a second life that she'd known nothing about. Had she been blind to the red flags her husband was waving? Or did she know more than she allowed herself to admit? In this special (mid-hiatus!) episode, Leah talks with Jessica Waite whose book "The Widow's Guide To Dead Bastards" is available today from Atria. They focus on a pivotal chapter from the book, exploring the questions that still linger for Jessica: What did she know? What was she intentionally blind to? And what could she have noticed if she had known what to look for? Get "The Widow's Guide To Dead Bastards" today here: https://amzn.to/4di2Vgy Book a free consultation with Leah here: https://www.leahcarey.com/discoverycall/
Thu, May 02, 2024
Some people swear by Dear Abby, others swear at Dear Abby. Today we look at some of Dear Abby's terrible advice. PLUS: Stay until the end to hear an important announcement about the podcast going on hiatus so Leah can take a well-deserved rest. Become a client: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Support Leah's work: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full episode show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/go-to-bed-angry
Thu, April 18, 2024
In this Pop Culture Pillow Talk, I talk with pop culture critic Kristen Meinzer about two great movies: Joy Ride Plan B You can find Kristen at: www.kristenmeinzer.com How To Be Fine podcast The Daily Fail podcast Twitter Instagram Threads Become a client: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/red-flags-sophilia
Thu, April 11, 2024
Plan B - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13172796 Joy Ride - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt15268244 Become a client: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/session Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex
Thu, March 28, 2024
In this coaching episode, Sophilia asks: why does she keep ending up in relationships where things don’t feel right, and the entire weight of making it better falls on her? Leah works with Sophilia to: understand the red flags for this type of relationship, the communication skills that will help screen them out, rethink her own experience of being turned on. Sophilia is a 39-year-old, cisgender woman. She describes herself as queer, single, and multi-racial with a white mother and Black father. In the past she’s been in monogamous relationships, but currently prefers the idea of being in open relationships. She describes her body as curvy and muscular. Leah offers valuable insights and tools to help Sophilia and all listeners to screen potential partners. Find the turn-on cycle explanation here: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/turn-on-cycles/ Become a client: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/session Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/red-flags-sophilia
Thu, February 29, 2024
Last year I found myself in the middle of a shitstorm for daring to expose a community leader's abusive behavior. Today I tell the whole story. The backlash was immediate and intense, with DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender) tactics used to paint me as the problem. Suddenly, I was not just standing as a representative of this man’s abuse, but also receiving harassment and ostracization from those I once considered my community. Sharing this story isn't just about telling you what’s going on; it's about shining a light on the dark corners of abuse and systemic failure. It's a call to action for change, support, and understanding for those who have had their voices silenced. ALSO : I clarify my pricing structure for coaching and how I serve people with financial challenges. BEYOND PERMISSION classes: www.beyondpermission.com Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/session Become a client: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/consent-darvo
Thu, February 15, 2024
What happens when your brain is so busy it can't slow down to enjoy having sexy time with the cute guy who's totally into you? In today's episode, we break down the first two episodes of the HBO show Starstruck with teen sex and relationship educator Julia Sheldon (who also happens to be Leah's dear friend.) We focus on lead character Jessie and how overthinking gets in the way of being present. Upcoming Beyond Permission class schedule: Thursday, Feb. 22 - Embracing your inner MILF with Danielle Tuesday, Feb. 27 - Dating at midlife with Leah Tuesday, March 5 - Sex toys show & tell with Leah Thursday, March 7 - Ask a couple with Danielle & Adam Tuesday, March 12 - What’s wrong with my libido? with Leah BEYOND PERMISSION classes: www.beyondpermission.com Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/session Become a client: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/starstruck
Thu, January 18, 2024
In this coaching/storytelling episode, Debbie talks about having the best sex of her life at age 63. Her question: Is that usual? While Debbie has always been multi-orgasmic, now she's having dozens of orgasms in a single sex session. And the connection with her new husband is a big part of the reason. Debbie is a 63 year old cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, married. She describes her body as slender and athletic . And don't forget: the BEYOND PERMISSION workshop starts next week! Use coupon code "beyond20" to join us! BEYOND PERMISSION workshop (use code "beyond20" for $20 off your registration): www.beyondpermission.com Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/session Become a client: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/debbie-best-sex
Thu, January 04, 2024
Togetherness is an HBO show that explores the challenges of maintaining a healthy and active sex life in a long-term relationship with small children. In today's episode, Danielle Silverstein from the popular Marriage and Martinis podcast joins Leah to discuss the first two episodes of the show. They dive into the complexities of sexual fulfillment, gender roles, expectations and resentments. Join us for a deep, thought-provoking, and insightful conversation about challenges of maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship. BEYOND PERMISSION workshop (use code "beyond20" for $20 off your registration): www.beyondpermission.com Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/session Become a client: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/slow-down-maria Forbidden Fantasies Unleashed: https://www.leahcarey.com/fantasies
Sat, December 30, 2023
Leah joins Danielle of Marriage & Martinis to talk about why Danielle's conversation with her husband about intimacy and pleasure was explosive and chaotic. Leah breaks down what we need to remember during these very tough conversations: we’ve been conditioned differently from the time we’re very young, and are often simply adhering to the roles we’ve been instructed to fulfill. They talk about why we can’t always trust our bodies’ physical responses during intimacy, games that can be played in lieu of telling our partner, “we’re not satisfied” as means to get a similar message across, and so much more. Join the Beyond Permission workshop at www.beyondpermission.com . Early bird pricing through Jan. 4, 2024. Use the code "beyond20" for $20 off your registration. Listen to the original "Awakening the sex talk demons" episode of Marriage & Martinis - https://www.marriageandmartinis.com/podcast/episode/8aa167f2/awakening-the-sex-talk-demons BEYOND PERMISSION workshop: www.beyondpermission.com Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/session Become a client: www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Thu, December 07, 2023
In this coaching episode, Maria asks the age old question: why is it so hard to ask for what I want?! She's convinced that her problem is in poor communication skills, but it doesn't take long to discover that the issue lies in a complete different area. Leah works with Maria to: understand how gender dynamics are creating friction in the "what do you want?" conversation, rethink how her definition of "sex" makes asking so difficult, practice the way she'd like to initiate a conversation about sex with potential partners. Maria is a 27-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, bisexual and single. She describes her body as athletic. Leah offers valuable insights and tools to help Maria and all listeners to reconsider talking about their desires. BEYOND PERMISSION workshop: www.beyondpermission.com Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/session Become a client: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/slow-down-maria
Thu, November 09, 2023
Leah delves into a deeply personal topic: how trauma and mental health have impacted her ability to show up authentically. She talks about the impact her demanding, charismatic father had on her psyche and sense of safety. In admitting her fear of being viewed as not good enough or too much like their father, Leah discusses the creation of a performative persona and the desire to shift to a more authentic voice. Who Is Your Sex & Relationship Alter Ego? www.leahcarey.com/quiz Work with Leah: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/podcastcoaching Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/identity-crisis
Thu, October 26, 2023
In this coaching episode, Lisa talks about learning to stay present when she's having pleasure. Currently her mind wanders during sex to making grocery lists or worrying that what she's doing is wrong. Leah works with Lisa to: understand what's underneath her brain's tendency to wander, reframe her judgments about sex workers, and recognize the effects of early childhood parentification. Lisa is a 44-year-old cisgender woman who lives in Italy. She describes herself as white, heterosexual, single & having fun, and exploring different relationship styles because she's not sure she believes in monogamy anymore. She had a Catholic upbringing and is finally exploring pleasure for the first time in her life. She describes her body as average and athletic. Leah offers valuable insights and tools to help Lisa and all listeners to navigate the challenges of staying present during sex. Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/session Become a client: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/tantra-lisa
Thu, October 12, 2023
Leah shares the next step in her health care journey: hypermobility. And this one has even more wide-ranging implications than the endometriosis diagnosis that upended her world six months ago. T ake the brand new quiz to find your Sex & Relationship Alter Ego! Find the quiz at www.leahcarey.com/quiz Links to earlier health update episodes: March 2nd May 25th July 20th Also mentioned in this episode: Hypermobility coach Tracy Rodriguez - www.instagram.com/thetracyrodriguez/ Hypermobility and Proprioception: What’s with the clumsiness? - https://www.mybendybody.com/body-awareness-hypermobility/ Psychiatric and psychological aspects in the Ehlers–Danlos syndromes - https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/ajmg.c.31544 Low- and high-anxious hypermobile Ehlers–Danlos syndrome patients: comparison of psychosocial and health variables - https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00296-018-4003-7 Labia Library - https://labialibrary.org.au/photo-gallery/ The Vulvarium - https://vulvarium.com/gallery-and-stories/ The Vulva Gallery - https://www.thevulvagallery.com/stories Why I photographed 100 vulvas : Most women have no idea what’s down there - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-sh/Why_I_Photographed_100_Vulvas Who Is Your Sex & Relationship Alter Ego? www.leahcarey.com/quiz Coaching with Leah: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/podcastcoaching Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: <a href= "https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/hypermobility-and-labiaplasty" target="_
Thu, September 28, 2023
This week's episode is delayed due to another project I'm working on. But there's some really important information in this quick feed drop, so please don't skip it. The emergency alert test will be happening in the United States on Wednesday, Oct. 4 at approximately 2:20 pm Eastern Time. Article about how domestic violence victims can protect themselves during next week's emergency alert test: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/technology/how-hidden-device-users-can-protect-themselves-ahead-of-national-emergency-alert-test/ar-AA1h5MCj Forbidden Fantasies Unleashed: https://www.leahcarey.com/fantasies Apply for a free coaching session on the podcast: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/guest
Thu, September 14, 2023
In this coaching episode, Savy talks about getting more comfortable with her genitals and with having sex in a fat body. She's had limited sexual experiences and wants to expand her horizons, but is afraid of being rejected in the middle of the act. Leah works with Savy to: realize that by the time she gets naked with a potential suitor, they won't be surprised by her body, recognize the difference between what her brain is telling her and what is happening in reality, and identify ways to explore the type of touch she desires. Leah offers valuable insights and tools to help Savy and all listeners to navigate the challenges of being sexual while in a marginalized body. Savy is a 34-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, bisexual, and open to any kind of relationship style that has open communication. She grew up in a strict Roman Catholic family and is now agnostic, and she describes her body as infinifat. Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/podcastcoaching Coaching with Leah: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/sex-while
Thu, August 31, 2023
In this pop culture breakdown, we do a beat-by-beat examination of the recent Below Deck: Down Under episodes that depicted unwanted sexual contact between cast members. We look at the tactics used to manipulate and coerce a vulnerable person, and how that leaves the victim feeling ashamed and at fault. We also look at the actions of bystanders - both good and bad. We’re talking about Below Deck: Down Under - season 2, episodes 6 and 7. Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/podcastcoaching Coaching with Leah: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/below-deck
Thu, August 17, 2023
In this coaching episode, Jen is a listener who struggles with body image and emotional baggage in her relationships. She was abused beginning at age seven, and the scars have faded but haven't disappeared completely. She is self-conscious about her body, which is affecting her ability to be present for intimacy with her husband. She feels like a "hot mess" because dealing with her body insecurities and emotional baggage has been a significant challenge. Leah works with Jen to: examine the patterns established in her sexual relationship, discover how pausing to breathe could make a major difference, how to communicate with her husband about the changes she needs to make while she's healing, and recognize her experience not as a fault, but as a response to long-ago trauma. Leah offers valuable insights and tools to help Jen, and all of you listening, to navigate the intricate path of healing from trauma - one breath at a time. NOTE : In two weeks, we'll be discussing episodes 2.6 and 2.7 of the Bravo show "Below Deck : Down Under". Apply for a free coaching session: www.goodgirlstalk.com/podcastcoaching Coaching with Leah: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/hot-mess-jen
Thu, August 03, 2023
It's our first pop culture breakdown, in which we look at how sex and sexuality are depicted on screen! My guest is pop culture critic Kristen Meinzer. We're talking about: Apple TV's Ted Lasso - season 3, episode 8 - We'll Never Have Paris Netflix's Never Have I Ever - season 4, episode 1 - Never Have I Ever Lost My Virginity The Duggar family (including things we learned from Amazon Prime's Shiny Happy People ) Coaching with Leah: www.leahcarey.com/coaching/ Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/ted-lasso
Thu, July 20, 2023
Leah provides an update on her health journey after two surgeries within four weeks of each other (earlier updates are here and here .) Plus: BIG news about changes coming to the podcast! Coaching with Leah: www.leahcarey.com/coaching/ Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/my-innards
Thu, July 06, 2023
In this replay of our landmark 100th episode, Ar Blia is a listener-turned-guest who has been untangling early experiences of trauma, limiting cultural beliefs, and confusing desires to first explore and then advocate for her own pleasure. Even within the constricts of a conservative community, she has been able to find adventure, find herself, and find a partner who truly works for her. Ar Blia is a 27-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as straight, monogamous, Asian Hmong American, and partnered with her boyfriend of five years. She describes her body as average (though by white American standards many of us would probably consider her petite.) Coaching with Leah: www.leahcarey.com/coaching/ Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/ar-blia-replay
Thu, June 22, 2023
A few months back, I was pleased to be a guest on the Life After Diets podcast with Sarah Dosanjh and Stefanie Michele . They have kindly allowed me to share that episode with you - and it's a great one! We focus on how body image and sex are related - and will losing weight actually help your confidence? We also talk about topics including: The typical female avatar; why would we assume anyone would like our body just as it is?? The issue of TRUST when it comes to what our partner thinks of us What if my partner is not interested in me since I’ve gained weight? Socialization of females to fix things and make things better for everyone Confidence and weight; chicken or egg? How disconnected we have become from our bodies and how we feel Coaching with Leah: www.leahcarey.com/coaching/ Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/life-after-diets
Thu, June 08, 2023
When Caitlin left her marriage, she found herself exploring sex as a single woman and discovering new interests. Through coaching with Leah, she admitted to herself that she might be interested in queer sex. This led to a realization that everything she thought was true about herself shattered, similar to a glass shelf breaking. She is finding freedom in exploring her desires and leaving behind what no longer serves her. In this coaching conversation, Caitlin and Leah talk about how she can dip her toe into queer dating. Coaching with Leah: www.leahcarey.com/coaching/ Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/crushes-and-confessions/
Thu, May 25, 2023
Leah provides an update to her health journey. When last we spoke , Leah was preparing for a hysterectomy surgery. However, when her surgeon had her on the operating table, he discovered that he couldn't do the hysterectomy as expected. Instead, she's spent the last month recovering from surgery #1 and preparing for surgery #2. GoFundMe - https://www.leahcarey.com/GoFundMe Class replays - https://www.leahcarey.com/courses
Thu, May 11, 2023
Chandra grew up in the 7th Day Adventist church, which she equates to a cult. She faults the church for being an educational, social, and religious system that neither acknowledges nor teaches that consent exists for women. She became (mildly) rebellious, experimented with illicit hand-holding, got married, got out, and then embarked on a season of further discovery. Chandra is a 29-year-old, cisgender female. She grew up in the 7th Day Adventist Church in the United States and describes herself as mixed race including Black, white, Chinese, and east Indian. She is bisexual, single, and has no children. She said her preferred relationship style is “honest.” She describes her body as average. Cult Evaded "Fall in love with your sex life" - register for one class or the entire series! www.leahcarey.com/classes Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/7th-day-chandra
Thu, April 27, 2023
Yami grew up in the Dominican Republic and the United States and there was no conversation in her family about sex. After lots of hard experiences as a teen, she is now involved with a man who is dedicated to her pleasure. They've been exploring swinging, play partners, and polyamory. Yami is a 23-year-old, cisgender female who describes herself as bisexual and heteroromantic, in a relationship and exploring opening up with her partner. She describes her body shape as a few extra pounds. "Fall in love with your sex life" - register for one class or the entire series! www.leahcarey.com/classes Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/thirteen-yami
Thu, April 13, 2023
When it came to exploring her sexuality, Liz took her time – while all her friends were gossiping about their boyfriends and hookups as teenagers, Liz knew she wasn’t ready to lose control. As a single woman, she now has sex occasionally while she waits to find love. Today we revisit the very first episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex from January 2019. Liz is a 37-year-old, cisgender white woman who is single, heterosexual, and monogamous. Fall in love with your sex life in 2023 - register for "Tune In To Your Turn Ons" www.leahcarey.com/classes Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes (plus audio extras): https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/lollipop-liz/
Thu, March 30, 2023
In a special crossover episode, Leah talks with Jessi Kneeland on the This Is Not About Your Body podcast about how body image and sexuality intersect; body image in partnership; advocating for your own needs; and much more. Fall in love with your sex life in 2023 - register for "Tune In To Your Turn Ons": www.leahcarey.com/classes Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Coaching with Leah: www.leahcarey.com/coaching Jessi Kneeland, body image coach: www.jessikneeland.com This Is Not About Your Body podcast: www.listennotes.com/podcasts/this-is-not-about-your-body-jessi-kneeland-s6mpfJiAIYn Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/ not-about-your-body /
Thu, March 16, 2023
Candi lives with Muscular Dystrophy. She shares how it progressed and how it changed her physical capabilities over her lifetime, and what it’s like to date and to have sex with a visible disability. She also opens up about loving rough sex and BDSM, despite what others might perceive as fragility. Candi is a 27-year-old, cisgender woman. She describes herself as heterosexual, monogamous, single, tall, and thin. This is revisiting an episode that was first broadcast in November 2020. Fall in love with your sex life in 2023 - register for "Tune In To Your Turn Ons" www.leahcarey.com/classes Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes (plus audio extras): https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/choking-hair-pulling-candi
Thu, March 02, 2023
Leah shares the health issues she's been dealing with, and why they have brought up extensive flashbacks to her mother's cancer journey. Then we revisit a conversation with Lisa, first broadcast in December 2019. Lisa is a 40-year-old cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, currently in a relationship that is heterosexual, monogamous, and long-distance. She has also long been attracted to women and is considering the likelihood that she is bisexual. "Fall in love with your sex life" - register for one class or the entire series! www.leahcarey.com/classes Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/sex-while-married-lisa
Thu, February 16, 2023
Sometimes desires arise in the imagination long before you have a chance to try them in real life. Michelle knew she wanted multiple partners and group arrangements—with people of all genders—even while surfing through old-school hetero-normative porn on the family computer. Now she’s publicly polyamorous and fully out on Instagram, defining her terms by living them. Michelle is a 29-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as Asian, bisexual, polyamorous and partnered. She describes her body as fat and chubby. Find her online at www.polyamorouswhileasian.com and www.instagram.com/polyamorouswhileasian "Fall in love with your sex life" - register for one class or the entire series! www.leahcarey.com/classes Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/group-sex-michelle/
Thu, February 02, 2023
Sex is complicated when you grow up Catholic and learn that kissing your best friend feels like heaven but will send you straight to hell. Sophia explored her feelings initially but then shut down once she got married. When the sheer physicality of menopause forced her to re-inhabit her body, she embraced a spiritual path towards sexual reawakening. Sophia is a 56-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, lesbian, and married. After a lifetime of monogamy, she recently came out to herself as polyamorous. She grew up in the Roman Catholic church and is now a pastor in the United Church of Christ. She’s post-menopausal and describes her body as thick and creamy. "Fall in love with your sex life" - register for one class or the entire series! www.leahcarey.com/classes Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/menopause-sophia/
Thu, January 19, 2023
When you love being naked, feeling sexy, giving and receiving pleasure, and you're happily married, you may be…a porn star! Sinn Sage takes us into the real world of sex work, from her early days stripping at clubs and “bachelor” parties, to working as a pornstar-for-hire, through creating and selling her own custom porn in the age of SESTA-FOSTA and Pornhub. Sinn Sage is a 39-year-old, cisgender female who says she has a little bit of gender fluidity but is still happy using she/her pronouns. She describes herself as white, queer, monogamish, and married. She describes her body as slim-thick. You can find Sinn online at www.sinn-sage.com . Register for "Fall in love with your sex life – A year of sexy secrets": www.leahcarey.com/classes Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/porn-star-sinn
Thu, January 05, 2023
In today's episode, we dive into topics like why confident little girls turn into quiet, ashamed middle schoolers; how Tori's family tried to buck the stereotypes of Black fathers not being around by allowing her abuser to continue living with them; the moment she had to decide whether to save her abuser or let him die; and even exploring race play. Tori is a 46-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as Black, mostly straight, currently monogamous, and in a relationship. She grew up in the Black Baptist Church and describes her body as plus size. You can find Tori online at toriwestonwriterartist.com , and on Instagram at @ toriwestonwriterartist . Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/kissed-john-travolta-tori
Thu, December 22, 2022
Since beginning her transition to become a transgender woman recently, Kelly has discovered that she is interested in people of all genders. She discusses how hormone therapy has changed her body, her mind, and her orgasms. Kelly is a 34-year-old transgender woman. She describes herself as white, bisexual, single, and currently exploring open relationships. She has no kids and describes her body as thick. Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/transgender-woman-kelly
Thu, December 08, 2022
Sometimes conventional needs have to be met through unconventional means. Heidi has a higher libido than her husband, but a lot of other things in the marriage work. Making a committed relationship work with her partner and best friend requires having another friend to provide more consistent and fulfilling sex. The first time she brought it up, it was a no from her primary partner. Later she was able to circle back based on their trust, goodwill, and clear communication. Heidi is a 41-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, straight, and partnered. While her preference for relationship style would be monogamous, she is currently ethically non-monogamous to get her sexual needs met. Heidi describes her body as curvy. Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/teeth-nipples-heidi
Thu, November 24, 2022
A horny ex-Catholic joins us from the Netherlands to give us the low-down on how living in a liberal country but growing up in an oppressive family gave her all sorts of mixed-up and downright wrong messages. It’s something like a double-negative version of universes colliding to form new yeses. She’s now a mother of five, and currently balancing sex and motherhood and an unconventional family arrangement. Carla is a 45-year-old cisgender woman who describes herself as Black, heteroflexible, and partnered. She has five children and she said her preferred relationship style is, “If we talk about it and we’re on the same page, it’s okay.” Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/horny-carla
Thu, November 10, 2022
Leah sits down with her good friend Danielle of the Marriage & Martinis podcast to talk about her own relationship. The two discuss Leah's new adventure into pursuing an open relationship with her long-time partner. How did they know it was the right time to explore non-monogamy? What is different about their relationship now that allows them to trust one another enough to pursue sexual experiences outside of their relationship? What are the boundaries for sexual encounters outside their primary relationship? What can we learn from healthy open relationship about how all couples can communicate around sex and relationships? This episode is filled with important advice for any couple who feels like improved interactions could lead to deeper intimacy and a better, more fulfilling sex life. Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/marriage-and-martinis
Thu, October 27, 2022
When a dancer goes from embodying the feminine ideal to challenging it, beauty and gender standards are thrown into beautiful disarray. Monica began shaving and bleaching her bountiful body hair when she was 8. Two years ago, she finally rebelled and launched the Wet Hairy Woman project. She continues to untangle her preconceived notions around sexual and gender orientation and is learning to overcome her trauma responses while celebrating her true nature at every level. In other words ... she's gone guerrilla by going gorilla. See then and now photos and videos at https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/monica-steffey-then-and-now/ Monica Steffey is a 26-year-old, cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, bisexual, currently monogamous and interested in exploring, and single. She describes her body as athletic. Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/wet-hairy-monica
Thu, October 13, 2022
The road to reclaiming consent is extra-long when it begins at age 3, and even more complicated by undiagnosed mental health disorders. For Deidre, a lifetime of sexual assault and a growing substance problem led to a rock bottom that included a BPD diagnosis. Today she's feeling healthy mentally and in a wonderful new relationship. Deidre is a 31-year-old non-binary person who uses both she and they pronouns and doesn’t have a preference for either one. Deidre describes herself as white, lesbian, monogamous, and partnered. She grew up in Canada and now lives in Germany. She describes her body as average. Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/bpd-and-hsv-deidre
Thu, September 29, 2022
What do you call a virgin who loves getting head? A comedian! Kyndra Crump takes a deep dive into heteroflexibility and gets some re-education about why losing your virginity doesn’t have to hurt—especially if you already like the rest of the stuff. She also learns about swingers-club protocols when she opens up about her exhibitionist desires. Kyndra is a 25-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as Black, monogamous with a curiosity about polyamory, single, and heteroflexible (she says she’s about 70% into men and 30% into women). She grew up in an evangelical Christian home and she describes her body as an hourglass or a Coke bottle. Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/throat-not-virgin-kyndra
Thu, September 15, 2022
Is it true that sex will become less fun - or even painful 😬 - after menopause? Is there any way to stop the changes that happen to our bodies as we get older? Today I have a special guest: MY OWN health care provider! She's passionate about women's health and I trust her completely. My favorite part of this episode: Maya's theory on why women have so few fucks to give as they get into their 40s and 50s (hint: it has to do with their hormone levels). You can find Maya at www.mayastrom.com . Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/maya-strom
Thu, September 01, 2022
Sex is hard enough to figure out without also having to wrangle with your gender. Stevie was raised as a little girl, but that never quite fit. They've covered a lot of ground to find clarity. They’re now happily married, while still exploring what they actually like in their body and who they want to be in their relationship. Stevie is 37 years old and identifies as non-binary or gender queer. They describe themselves as white, gay, monogamous, and married. Stevie grew up in Scotland and describes their body as athletic and pear-shaped. Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/double-ended-dildo-stevie
Thu, August 18, 2022
When culture tells you that women are sexy, but the church says same-sex attraction isn't allowed, you might try to screw yourself straight. Mia shares how she went from stealing kisses with girls thanks to alcohol-fueled courage while trying to prove to herself that she was straight, to building a lasting love with one of those kissed girls. Mia is a 23-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, monogamous, not straight, and engaged at the time of recording. Since then, she has married. She grew up in a Catholic home and describes her body as athletic curvy. Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/drunk-girls-mia
Thu, August 04, 2022
Growing up in a conservative church, some kids don't even know being gay is an option. Add that to an ill-kept family secret, and Olivia became scared to orgasm as an adult. She shares how she went from Googling “naked bodies” to discovering assault survivor resources, and why she’s now exploring polyamorous dating. Olivia is a 24-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as mixed race with both African and Middle Eastern heritage, and she’s gay with an asterisk. She grew up in an evangelical Christian home. She is currently dating and exploring non-monogamy. She describes her figure as an 'hourglass with extra minutes.' Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/kissing-a-vagina-olivia
Thu, July 21, 2022
The most important move for a great sexual experience: having the talk. STARS is an easy-to-remember acronym for conversations that lead to awesome consensual sex. In this episode, Samara and Caleb have the STARS talk. They've been in a relationship for 10 months of serious dating, ready to move in together, and already having good sex. Even so, they uncover several things that surprise them and will help them up-level their sex life. Samara is a 29-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as white, monogamous, partnered with Caleb, and she describes her body as athletic and curvy. Caleb is a 29-year-old cisgender male who describes himself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, partnered with Samara, and he describes his body as athletic. Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/samara-and-caleb
Thu, June 30, 2022
It's been a tough week. With the decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization, fully half of the American population has lost the ability to make health care choices for our own bodies. We are now more regressive on reproductive health than countries like Mexico. In this episode, we look at the grief many of us are feeling; the frustration of being a cis woman supporting our male partner's grief journey; and tactics to get help to people who need it most. Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/post-roe-america
Thu, June 23, 2022
While a stutter may seem like an impediment to clear communication, Mia says it helped her identify a perfect partner. She talks about how an early experience of being "the other woman" continues to affect her feelings about relationships. Then, she and Leah discuss how to navigate changing bodies, waning attraction, and mismatched libidos. Mia is a 29-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, straight, monogamous, and engaged to be married. She grew up in a non-practicing Jewish home and she describes her figure as tall and busty. Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/the-other-woman-mia
Thu, June 09, 2022
Purity ring, wedding ring ... cock ring?! After many conversations with people who have religious trauma around sexuality, it's a pleasure to finally welcome someone who grew up in conservative Christianity and has a healthy relationship with sex. Hannah opens up about how she and her husband navigated abstinence while still building a relationship based on trust and pleasure, and how they continued to nurture both after pregnancy loss. We also talk about sex during pregnancy and in the aftermath of miscarriage. Hannah is a 26-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as half white and half East Indian, heterosexual, monogamous, married, and her body is curvy. Find my NBC Op-Ed at https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/learning-sex-education-can-save-kids-from-groomers-rcna26931 Thanks to our episode sponsor: Dipsea Stories – go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a FREE 30-day trial! Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/fingering-blowjobs-hannah
S118 Enull · Thu, May 26, 2022
People typically talk about an absence of sex as something gone wrong, followed by an array of advice to spice up, fix, rekindle, reboot, top down, bottoms up, laugh, cry, and eventually achieve perfect sex. But what if your life feels pretty perfect without it? Kristen grew up in Purity Culture, so her lack of interest in dating was a plus as a teenager. But when she became an adult and still wasn't interested in dating, it became clear that something else was going on. Kristen eventually realized that she is asexual - a person who has little to no interest in sex. Kristen joins us to talk about her experience of asexuality, how it differs from aromanticism and demisexuality, and what she is and isn't interested in for potential future relationships. Kristen is a 36-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, asexual, demiromantic, and she grew up in the Baptist church. She's currently single and describes her body as chonky. Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/romance-and-sx-arent-the-same-thing-kristen
Thu, May 12, 2022
Talk about coming full circle: when your friends-with-benefits from age 12 comes back around to become your life partner and literally make your deepest taboo fantasies come true. Rachel shares how she started kissing in daycare, experimented sexually in her teens, tried marriage and polyamory, learning BDSM and psychedelically-enhanced role playing along the way. Rachel is a 38-year-old, cisgender female who describes herself as white, pansexual, monogamish, and partnered. She describes her body as very curvy or fat, depending on the person she's talking to. Thanks to our episode sponsor: Dipsea Stories – go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a FREE 30-day trial! Support the show: www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/he-brought-handcuffs--blindfold-on-our-1st-date---rachel
Thu, April 28, 2022
Rain Dove grew up with a birth certificate that listed gender as "F." For much of their life, they imagined that "F" stood for "Failure" to be properly "Female." Today Rain is a gender-bending model who walks runways for designers of both masculine- and feminine-coded clothing. Rain is also an activist working to make the world better for people of all genders, orientations, and more. Rain is currently assisting vulnerable people to escape Ukraine. What if gender is not just about genitals, but what we want from the world? In this episode, Rain explains what Gender Capitalism means and shares personal stories about how relationship dynamics and power can be fluid and chosen too. Rain is 32 years old and white. You'll hear that Rain speaks differently than many people because Rain eschews most types of categorization. When I asked what their gender identity is and what pronouns they use, they said, "I am I. You can call me with whatever language feels comfortable, but the most respectful thing is to just calm by my name." When I asked what their sexual orientation is, they said, "I love who I love. I lust who I lust, and I fuck who I fuck consensually." Their preferred relationship dynamic is open and communicative and tailored to the people who are in it at the time. Rain is partnered, grew up in a Christian home, and describes their body as tall and moderately muscular. To support Rain's work evacuating vulnerable and marginalized people from Ukraine, visit www.safebow.org. This episode is sponsored by Beducated – Get a free trial PLUS lock in a rate that’s 65% off FOREVER! Use the coupon code GOODGIRLSTALK. Sign up at: http://beducate.me/pd2208-goodgirlstalk Full show notes at https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/i-trained-to-be-a-dominatrix---rain-dove
Thu, April 14, 2022
It's been a minute, but I'm back! In this episode, I talk about what's been going on and where I've been. Then, we take a deep dive into a question from Reddit about whether not saying "no" is the same as assault. Thank you to our episode sponsor: Beducated - Get a free trial PLUS lock in a rate that's 65% off FOREVER! Use the coupon code GOODGIRLSTALK. Sign up at: http://beducate.me/pd2208-goodgirlstalk For full show notes and transcript go to: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/he-pinned-me-down-and-fingered-me
Thu, February 17, 2022
Having trouble loving your body? In our culture that’s normal, no matter your shape or size. In a special crossover episode, Leah talks with Rachael and Kelsea on the Thick Thighs Save Lives podcast about how public nudity experiences along her journey sexual awakening transformed her understanding about what kinds of bodies are lovable. She gives tips on how to feel better naked, tune into what you want, and communicate it to your partner. Thanks to our episode sponsor: Kindra – try Kindra at www.ourkindra.com using code goodgirls20 for 20% off your first purchase. Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/ thick-thighs-save-lives---leah /
Thu, February 03, 2022
Did you know when you say “I feel fat” it's actually code for something much deeper? In a special crossover episode, Leah talks with Kate and Haje on the Human Awareness podcast about body image and how many of us feel our personal worth is defined by how our body looks; how we think once we deal with body image issues they should be done and never recur; and how she learned to overcome numbness related to sexual touch. Episode sponsors: Dipsea Stories – go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a 30-day FREE trial! Kindra – try out Kindra at www.ourkindra.com using code goodgirls20 for 20% off your first purchase. Full show notes: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/fat-is-not-a-feeling-hai/
Thu, January 20, 2022
What happens when you discover the reason you've never been interested in sex is that you've been having the wrong kind of sex for your body? And that the mismatch at the root of your loving-but-sexless marriage is that your spouse doesn't want that kind of sex? Michelle, one of our most popular guests from the past, returns to talk about what has happened over the last two years, including beginning a domme/sub relationship with another woman. Michelle is a 44-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as Black, bisexual and homo-romantic. She describes her body as average. She is married and currently navigating the process of opening her 19 year relationship with her wife to become ethically non-monogamous. Topics we cover: Being queer Being homoromantic BDSM/activities/toys Switching dom/sub Non-monogamy Sub space/after care Thank you to our episode sponsors: Kindra – try out Kindra at www.ourkindra.com using code goodgirls20 for 20% off your first purchase. Planned Parenthood Direct – download the app to get convenient and affordable birth control delivered to your door: http://www.ppdirect.app/api/safelink?name=inf_leahcarey_1121 To sign up for notification when it’s available in your state, go to: www.plannedparenthooddirect.org Glossary and full show notes at: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/what-if-the-one-isnt-enough---michelle/ Support the show at https://www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex
Thu, January 13, 2022
Surprise! It's a bonus episode! Leah shares how she became a featured guest on the #1 sex and relationship advice podcast, and why it is such a big deal for her. Savage Lovecast episode - https://savage.love/lovecast/2022/01/04/a-study-of-hypno-porn/ Read excerpts of Leah's memoir-in-progress - https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/s9e0j0 Full show notes - https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/how-i-ended-up-on-dan-savages-podcast/
Thu, January 06, 2022
How can kink un-kink you? Cate is a sex educator who discovered for themselves that kink can be therapy for chronic pain, emotional overwhelm, and neurodivergent patterns. Cate shares how they manage being ADHD, demisexual, non-monogamous, and pansexual, after surviving growing up Catholic. If you spend time thinking about gaming, fruit snacks, or ADHD you may already know Cate. You can find them on Twitch, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and more under the handle Catieosaurus. Thank you to our episode sponsors: Dipsea Stories – go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a 30-day FREE trial! Kindra – try Kindra at www.ourkindra.com using code goodgirls20 for 20% off your first purchase. Planned Parenthood Direct – download the app to get convenient and affordable birth control delivered to your door: http://www.ppdirect.app/api/safelink?name=inf_leahcarey_1121 To sign up for notification when it’s available in your state, go to: www.plannedparenthooddirect.org For full show notes go to https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/adhd-and-your-orgasm-cate/
Thu, December 23, 2021
Whether it’s secretly watching our parents’ porn or uninformative Sex Ed, most of us get inadequate information about sex. Liz learned to pleasure herself early on, then followed her instincts about who to kiss and when to have sex for the first time. The same inner compass led her to leave two marriages and advocate for her libido. Liz is a 44-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, pansexual (with a strong heterosexual lean), probably monogamous, and mid-divorce. She has one child and is post-hysterectomy. She said hormonally she’s probably perimenopausal, and her body is very curvy. Topics we cover: Sex with a full bladder Bisexual dating during high school Abusive marriages Porn use vs porn addiction Decreased libido Aromantic Thank you to our sponsors for this episode: Dipsea Stories – go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a 30-day FREE trial! Planned Parenthood Direct – download the app to get convenient and affordable birth control delivered to your door: http://www.ppdirect.app/api/safelink?name=inf_leahcarey_1121 To sign up for notification when it’s available in your state, go to: www.plannedparenthooddirect.org
Thu, December 09, 2021
Is it normal to want dating without hook-ups? And what if you don’t even know who you want to date? When you’re on the asexual spectrum with bisexual attractions, it can be confusing to chart desire and create a relationship that works for you. Alice from South Africa talks about having very little sex education and a low sex drive, but still finding her way. Alice is a 23-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, and single. She’s not sure how to define her sexual orientation yet (though it’s probably not straight), and she’s probably monogamous, but clarified “I’m only 23 years old, so who knows?” She grew up in South Africa and describes her body as thin. TOPICS WE TALK ABOUT: Asexuality Demi-sexuality Lack of Sex Education Consent Sexual orientation What is “queer enough ”? Does virginity matter Thank you to our sponsors for this episode: Planned Parenthood Direct – download the app to get convenient and affordable birth control delivered to your door: http://www.ppdirect.app/api/safelink?name=inf_leahcarey_1121 To sign up for notification when it’s available in your state, go to: www.plannedparenthooddirect.org Kindra – try out Kindra at www.ourkindra.com using code goodgirls20 for 20% off your first purchase. Full show notes at https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/am-i-asexual-if-i-still-want-to-kiss-people-alice/
Wed, November 24, 2021
How do you know you’re queer if you don’t even know that’s an option? It’s hard to imagine what we can’t see. Julia takes us through confusing early fantasies to landing that first girl-kiss to realizing what it means to love people with vaginas in all their gender presentations. Now she wants to start exploring anal play. Julia is a 27-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, queer, monogamous, and she doesn’t have kids. She still gets a regular period and describes her body as tall and thin. Julia has a non-binary partner, so we get to talk about how she navigates her partner’s gender dysphoria. Bookmark topics: Dating a non-binary partner Navigating dysmorphia Early fantasies Voyeurism and exhibitionism Queer/pansexual identity in the bedroom Losing lesbian virginity Learning what you like Butt stuff—how to start exploring anal play The Lowdown: favorite sex toys, strap-on penetration, clit stimulation, masturbation Thank you to our sponsors for this episode: Planned Parenthood Direct - download the app to get convenient and affordable birth control delivered to your door: http://www.ppdirect.app/api/safelink?name=inf_leahcarey_1121 To sign up for notification when it’s available in your state, go to: www.plannedparenthooddirect.org Dipsea Stories - go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a 30-day FREE trial! Full show notes available at: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/exploring-anal-play-julia/
Thu, November 11, 2021
What happens when a girl grows up in purity culture and gets married to the first boy who pays attention to her, just so she can have sex? Is purity culture religious abuse? In this episode we hear that story from Gabby. She is a 34-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, straight but open to exploring, currently non-monogamous with three recurring partners. She has two sons, is pre-menopausal, and describes her body as curvy. Bookmark topics: Gabby grew up in purity culture, signed a no-sex contracts in childhood, and discusses “courting” vs dating Gabby’s husband had a sudden and seemingly permanent decrease in libido If he’s turned off by my genitals, is he gay? Since leaving the church, Gabby’s life has changed dramatically, including dating during COVID and exploring polyamory We explore parenting while polyamorous The Lowdown: Gabby answers questions about number of partners, dating different races, sex toys, anal, oral, and choking Thank you to our sponsors for this episode: PLANNED PARENTHOOD DIRECT : click here to download the app to get convenient and affordable birth control delivered to your door: http://www.ppdirect.app/api/safelink?name=inf_leahcarey_1121 To sign up for notification when it’s available in your state, go to: www.plannedparenthooddirect.org Full show notes at: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/my-vagina-was-dry-as-a-bone-gabby/
Thu, October 28, 2021
Joy talks about taboo territory like incest porn, being HSV-2 positive, and trying out “water sports.” She has early memories of non-consensual experiences, which led to weak boundaries and a tendency towards dissociation and passivity. A hysterectomy and genital changes further changed her body and libido. She’s always enjoyed masturbation and has been unpartnered for some time; she’s ready to explore again. Joy is a 44-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, monogamous, bisexual. She is post-menopausal and has had ovarian cancer and a full hysterectomy. She describes her body as pear-shaped and wears hearing aids. Bookmark moments: 2:28 - Joy shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, cuddling with a pillow between her legs and then starting a relationship with her bathtub. 6:09 - Joy lost her virginity at age 14; she considers herself to have given consent but she also knows she dissociated, and remembers staring at a blooming tree out the window. There were indications of earlier trauma. 9:56 - She talks about a girlfriend she sometimes fooled around with, and a series of physical interactions in which she was not fully present and struggled with boundaries. 15:58 - Joy comes out to her father as bisexual. 18:42 - She finally experiences pleasure with a sort of friend who offers benefits. She feels passive at the beginning, but then she starts to really enjoy the sex. 23:36 - The relationship ends, and she has a few hookups. Unfortunately, she contracts herpes after one exchange. She opens up about how she managed it in subsequent relationships; she has both disclosed her status, and not disclosed her status. It’s a hard conversation. 32:57 - Her most recent past relationship was pretty vanilla. The longer one before involved some kink exploration, including “water sports.” 36:23 - She has a long-distance relationship with an older man; it doesn’t end well. There hasn’t been anyone since, just frequent masturbation. She’d been content alone until listening to the podcast and starting to wonder. 40:35 - Joy went through ovarian cancer a few years ago and she had to have a full hysterectomy. She talks about how it has impacted her body. One of the things she experienced was genital restructuring. Her orgasms and arousal have changed. 52:00 - They talk about how to be more present in one’s body. The Lowdown: Joy answers questions about sex on her period, number of partners, favorite toy, favorite position, initiating, breast play, clit stimulation vs penetration, orgasming, faking it, solo vs partnered, kinds of touch, hard red lines, dirty talk, porn, incest porn, hair vs bare, three-ways, blowjobs, swallowing, receiving oral, taste and smell, ass play, kink, dirty talk, favorite body part, least favorite body part, unmet desires, and old beliefs. Resources:</
Thu, October 14, 2021
Brenda grew up in a “sex silent” household and transitioned right into purity culture. For a naturally highly sexual person, this spelled dysfunction and disaster. She found her way out of abuse and repression, went through a period of intense exploration, and she is now an advocate and educator for other survivors of religious trauma. She shares her truth publicly and celebrates all of her experiences—even the “dark” ones, as they have anchored her learning along the healing journey. Brenda Marie Davies is a 37-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as bisexual, open-minded, and single. She describes her body as slim. Book: On Her Knees: Memoir of a Prayerful Jezebel Website: www.godisgrey.com YouTube: www.youtube.com/godisgrey THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR FOR THIS EPISODE: *** DIPSEA STORIES: go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a 30-day FREE trial! Full show notes at: https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/podcast/the-evangelical-church-stunted-my-sexuality-brenda-marie-davies/
Thu, September 30, 2021
Kay is our youngest guest yet, and she lets us in on how her generation is exploring sex differently because they’re the first with easy access to p*rn. She has dated people of multiple genders, and realized she loves all bodies. Despite her young age, Kay has already learned hard lessons about toxic relationships, trust, and consent. Kay is an 18-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as Black, pansexual, monogamous, and in a relationship. She grew up Catholic and describes her body as full. Bookmark moments: 5:34 - Kay shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, when her peers in 6th grade were watching porn. It was her closest thing to a learning experience before trying things like handjobs and blowjobs. 9:55 - Kay “sort of” came out as bi in 7th grade, and then discovered she liked trans people too. She went to a Catholic school with genders separated and describes girls kissing in class. As they get older, school culture turns anti-gay. 14:40 - Sex Ed in school was brief biology, everything she already knew. Her first kiss was a dare on IG live with her best friend. It becomes her first relationship, which has its struggles. 18:00 - Kay talks about suicidal thoughts that both she and her girlfriend worked through. 25:30 - Kay lives with her mom; her mom found out about her dating girls after seeing her phone but didn’t take issue with it. Kay wishes for more open conversation around sex. 31:03 - She meets a boy. He’s not a friend first, and after the honeymoon phase it doesn’t go well, but lasts for two toxic years. He verbally abuses her about her appearance and cheats on her. 38:20 - Kay describes a painful loss of virginity experience. Our culture says this is normal, but Leah does some myth-busting on what is actually normal and how this experience can and should go down. 47:41 - Kay talks about her current relationship. She’s had her first orgasm! But sometimes he doesn’t stop when she tells him to. This includes unwanted touching. 55:27 - They talk about how Kay’s generation is the first with easy access to porn, and what messages are being gleaned. 1:01:30 - They talk about masturbation. Kay started around 4th 1:03:03 - The Lowdown: Kay answers questions about sex during periods, STI’s, birth control, number of sex partners, dating outside your race, toys, positions, initiating sex, being active vs passive, clit stimulation vs penetration, breast play, achieving and faking orgasms, solo vs partnered sex, kinds of touch, rough play, safety protocols specific to choking, one’s partner masturbating alone or watching porn alone, blowjobs, swallowing, hair vs bare, group sex, ass play, kink desires, dirty talk, laughter, confusing sexual urges, favorite body part, least favorite body part, areas to improve sex life, and correcting old beliefs. Resources
Thu, September 16, 2021
Caz is an open book with a ton of chapters: a non-binary disability advocate kink-loving trauma survivor pain/pleasure early wayfinder who left live sex shows for the dating apps. The extraordinary roads they had to navigate led them to know themselves intimately, and helped them learn to accept, manage, and finally enjoy bodily pain. Caz is a 40-year-old, non-binary person who was assigned female at birth. They describe themselves as queer, non-monogamous and single. They’ve had a hysterectomy, so they no longer have a period but believe that hormonally they are probably peri-menopausal. They grew up in the United States and describe their body as curvy. Caz is a disability activist, and is particularly involved in education around sexuality for people with disabilities, including kink activities. You can find them on Instagram at www.instagram.com/cazkilljoy Bookmark moments: 5:07 - Caz shares an early memory of sexual pleasure, when they caught masturbating in the living room around age 4-5. They were quickly escorted to their bedroom and the behavior was not encouraged. 8:37 - Caz has their first sexually partnered experience at age 13-14 which is mostly positive, but it triggers memories of early molestation. They seek therapy, learn how to navigate clitoral sensitivity, and treat numbness. 14:57 - Caz shares the outline of their medical issues. It started at age 21, when their legs were being held back while being fisted, causing lasting injury that spawned serious compound issues. 20:50 - The pleasure/pain balance leads to their interest in kink. Navigating the pain itself becomes a factor. They find themselves in an abusive relationship, and then a libido-mismatched rebound. 26:15 - Caz talks about learning how to orgasm while weaning off Effexor. 30:04 - Caz shares that the bent toward kink has been lifelong, and describes a childhood fantasy with masturbation taskmasters. They describe early kink explorations, pain/pleasure antecedents in self-harm, and using that as an emotional management strategy. 37:15 - They transition into BDSM as an avenue of positive personal control. Self-education starts in an alcove at Border’s Books. 48:06 - Caz talks about early same-sex interactions; some of them were non-consensual. The first consensual one was in their early 20’s. They knew something was “off” about their gender and felt most comfortable in drag. 55:40 - Caz opens up about non-binary dating, and what life and sex look like today. They have a long-term friend with benefits with whom they became pandemic partners and have recently returned to the apps. 1:04:45 - Caz talks about accessibility and kink spaces. The Lowdown: Caz answers rapid-fire questions about period sex while, number of partners, race, t
Thu, September 02, 2021
Tori grew up in a church that preached purity culture, which mostly taught her what she didn’t want—a life with far more shame than sex, compounded by firmly fixed instructions around gender. She followed her pleasure down roads less traditionally traveled and created polyamorous and non-monogamous relationships with people across the gender spectrum. It works for her, her partners, and the children for whom she wants to make a better, healthier world. Tori is 37-years-old. She describes herself as Black, pansexual and polyamorous. She has a partner who she lives with, plus she’s in a relationship with another couple. In terms of gender, she uses the she/her pronouns, but said, “Gender and I are not on speaking terms.” We talk about that in our conversation. She grew up in Evangelical purity culture. You can find Tori at: Website - www.ToriGlass.com Instagram - ToriGlass Twitter - ToriGlass Bookmark moments: 2:50 Tori shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, sitting in her homeschool desk at age 7 or 8 and rubbing herself over her jeans. In purity culture, “everything that feels good is bad.” 4:40 Tori talks about growing up in purity culture, how it never fit her, and how it spectacularly failed to prevent sexual activity for her and her peers. 12:14 She moves in with a boyfriend to the horror of her parents, with whom she is no longer in contact. 21:15 Tori talks about leaving the church as it became increasingly abusive towards its members. She wants to raise them differently than how she was raised. 25:46 Leaving the church (and her husband) allows her to explore her attraction to other people and other genders. Tori gets into more detail about her complicated relationship with gender. 32:25 Tori spells out what being a-romantic means to her and how she separates romance from intimacy from sex. 38:52 She opens up about her current live-in partner, how that configures with their other relationships, and what polyamory/ethical non-monogamy means for them. She talks about her relationship with a couple who met each other via her Twitter. 46:50 - The Lowdown - Tori answers questions about period sex, number of partners, sex with someone of a different race, sex toys, sex positions, initiating sex, clit stimulation vs penetration, breast play, achieving orgasm, faking it, solo orgasms vs partnered, kind of touch, nipple sucking, hard red lines, hair vs bare, giving and receiving oral, swallowing, taste and smell, dirty talk, laughter, and childhood beliefs about sex. Patreon : Creating this show i
Thu, August 19, 2021
Tammy is a listener-turned-guest who takes us into her American Jewish culture and shares how that shaped her early experiences around sex and marriage, and led her into situations that were unhealthy and downright dangerous. She dedicated herself repeatedly to making a better life for herself and her children—a life that hopefully includes serious sexual satisfaction and positive role-modeling for her children. Tammy is a 33-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as white, Jewish, and has two kids. She and her husband are married by Jewish law but not legally. She is currently monogamous, but may be open to exploring other options in the future. She describes her body as an hourglass figure with a few extra pounds. THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR FOR THIS EPISODE: *** DIPSEA STORIES: Go to www.dipseastories.com/goodgirls to get a 30-day FREE trial! Bookmark moments: 3:20 - Tammy shares her first memory of sexual desire, playing with the showerhead at around age 11-12 and finding her mother’s vibrator. She did not witness affection between her parents. 6:50 - She talks about how growing up in a Jewish family impacted her views on sexuality. 10:18 - Tammy decides to leave school and get her GED to get out from under her controlling mother. She goes to live with her grandparents who aren’t much better, and she turns to Yahoo groups to get access to dating and boys. You guessed it: catfish. 17:00 - She gives in and sees the guy, then goes into a panic when she realizes how in over her head she is. The incident turns into a memory blackout. 19:18 - Tammy talks about her first husband, and how her community taught (or not) young virgin wives about sex and its place within Jewish law. 27:18 - She opens up about the first time her husband displayed violent tendencies, and she chose to leave with her infant daughter. 31:35 - She tries to find her way into more mainstream culture for dating. She meets a guy she knows is wrong. A honeymoon in Vegas ends in annulment and another baby. 40:00 - Tammy talks about dating while pregnant, and then as a young mother. 47:30 - Tammy meets someone different, and she gets her first taste of bad boy attraction. It ends, and she finds herself running a divorcee dating network. She meets someone different again, this time “nerdy.” He seems like a good guy and they get engaged, but there’s a porn addiction. 55:30 - They both start 12-step meetings. Leah talks about porn use vs porn addiction. 1:02:00 - Tammy shares how her body image was negatively impacted by the porn, how her withdrawal and her husband’s waning interest stalled their sex life, and how he failed to stay off porn. 1:09:44 - She started listening to this podcast and thinking maybe there could be more, her hopes for the future, and how she wants t
Thu, August 05, 2021
It’s our 100th episode!!!!! Ar Blia is a listener-turned-guest who has been untangling early experiences of trauma, limiting cultural beliefs, and confusing desires to first explore and then advocate for her own pleasure. Even within the constricts of a conservative community, she has been able to find adventure, find herself, and find a partner who truly works for her. Ar Blia is a 27-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as straight, monogamous, and partnered with her boyfriend of five years. She describes her body as average (though by white American standards many of us would probably consider her petite.) Bookmark moments: 6:12 - Ar Blia shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, at age 4-5, being aware of a pleasant tickle-ish sensation “down there” with a soapy touch. She innocently explores herself in the open until her father makes fun of her. 11:20 - Ar Blia talks about her culture’s views on sex and marriage and how that impacted her while growing up. 14:07 - She talks about her first boyfriend, with whom she planned to wait until marriage despite the copious sexual tension. 21:30 - Ar Blia shares how some aspects of her culture and how they impacted her attractions and actions. 26:08 - Ar Blia learns to make her personality smaller to accommodate her boyfriend, slowly losing herself over four years. 29:00 - She talks about how her current boyfriend helped her see what had happened. 36:08 - She shares how she met her current boyfriend, who happily pushes her up against walls. She discusses how virginity is prized in her culture and how she navigated that with the second boyfriend. She further details how her culture shaped this relationship with regard to age and expectations. 41:27 - Ar Blia opens up about her struggles with body image. 45:00 - Ar Blia discusses how she and her boyfriend found their way to pleasure reciprocity, and how they subsequently navigated a time of decreased libido. 49:16 - She ties the decreased libido back to earlier culturally-informed traumas around non-consensual sexual touch. She recalls the two episodes, and talks about present-day impacts on having her breasts touched. 1:04:30 - Ar Blia says listening to episodes of this podcast has helped her process what had happened, and get to a good place with her boyfriend now. 1:09:51 - The Lowdown: Ar Blia answers questions about having sex on her period, sex partners and race, sex toys, positions, clit stimulation vs penetration, breast play, getting to orgasm/faking it, kinds of touch, hard red lines, anal play, porn (and discovering her father’s stash with her siblings), hair vs bare, group sex, oral sex, kink, role playing, dirty talk, uncomfortable desires, body image, and changing beliefs. 1:20:17 - Leah and Ar Blia talk out being submissive in the bedroom vs in life, and th
Thu, July 22, 2021
Karin talks about living with cerebral palsy and how she shows up in her own life and on Instagram. Early in her life, she struggled with hating her body, and had to work to get to place where she could see her body as worthy of experiencing pleasure. She had a brief storybook romance with a young man who also had CP. She is frank about planning, logistics, and how things like choice and vulnerability show up differently for her than for able-bodied people. Karin is a 30-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, queer, monogamous, and dating. She has cerebral palsy and a mental health disability, and has previously had an eating disorder. She describes her body as fat. You can find Karin on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/khitselberger and at her website at https://www.claimingcrip.com . Bookmark moments: 4:55 - Karin starts sharing by speaking to the hard parts: being fetishized, or “something to try,” rather than a sexual whole person. 5:40 - Karin has her first experience with sexual pleasure in her 20’s when she starts dating. They Skype about disability justice and he tells her how pretty she is. It’s beautiful and has a lasting impact, but is also brief and ends tragically. 10:34 - Karin has cerebral palsy; she didn’t explore her own body sexually while growing up. She became Christian in college; her takeaway is that Jesus would love people where they’re at, and this gives her hope and space for a relationship. 13:45 - Karin talks about where agency and choice reside for her, and about the level of trust required for intimacy. 15:20 - She circles back to the story of her first kiss. 24:15 - After losing her first boyfriend, Karin opens the door to her attraction to women. 27:00 - Karin shares that being disabled means talking about intimate logistics ahead of time, and that this can be fun. 32:02 - Karin also dealt with an eating disorder and mental health issues. She struggled early in life with hating her body, and she has worked hard to reach a place of acceptance and neutrality. A significant source of healing has been seeing her body sexually at all. 38:58 - She talks about how intimacy worked in her relationship, and that cultural conditioning to not advocate for her desires was compounded by her lack of knowing what she desires. 47:13 - Karin is currently exploring new desires around kink. She’s also learned to apply consent to co-handling of her body in everyday life. 52:00 - She shares a story of getting her boyfriend to look up fetish porn for her PhD dissertation, and the differences between American-Puritan and European perspectives. 55:20 - Karin hopes to marry and have children someday. She is talking
Thu, July 08, 2021
Chandra grew up in the 7th Day Adventist church, which she equates to a cult. She faults the church for being an educational, social, and religious system that neither acknowledges nor teaches that consent exists for women. She became (mildly) rebellious, experimented with illicit hand-holding, got married, got out, and then embarked on a season of experimentation. Chandra is a 29-year-old, cisgender female. She grew up in the 7th Day Adventist Church in the United States and describes herself as mixed race including Black, white, Chinese, and east Indian. She is bisexual, single, and has no children. She said her preferred relationship style is “honest.”. She describes her body as average. Bookmark moments: 5:22 - Chandra shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, a generalized curiosity around age 6. 7:31 - Chandra talks about being raised Seventh Day Adventist, and what the conservative education around sex looked like. Nature shows were her best informer. The school taught Creationism and held a “Purity Week.” 12:56 - She starts experimenting around age 11, but doesn’t know what she’s doing. Pleasure mixes with anxiety. At 12 she has a non-consensual experience that turns into a year-long power abuse dynamic. Her father clues in and moves the family away. 26:29 - She moves on to rebellious hand-holding with a boy at religious summer camp. Then boarding school, and marriage. Sex becomes painful as she endures emotional abuse. She lets him experiment outside the marriage. Lies end the marriage; infidelity gives her a respectable way out. 36:14 - An experimental phase for Chandra begins. She gets reckless. 39:50 - Chandra explores her bisexuality. She tracks her attraction back to age 6. 42:50 - Chandra shares what her current dating life looks like, and the possibility of future parenthood. 50:15 - The discussion turns to pleasure, then relationship styles. Chandra says her preferred style is “honest,” and she finds that most often in the polyamorous community and its standard of open communication and consent. The Lowdown 57:00 - The Q&A covers period sex, interracial dating, toys, sex positions, initiating sex, roles, stimulations, orgasms, touch, hard red lines, porn, grooming, oral, squirting (PSA: buy Chucks!), dirty talk, laughter, rape fantasies, long legs, and unlearning childhood beliefs. Resources: Cult Evaded podcast - https://anchor.fm/cultevaded Clit sucking toys - https://www.google.com/search?q=clit+suction+toy Chucks - https://www.amazon.com/Disposable-Underpads-Incontinence-Absorbent-Protective/dp/B081VRG3NK Patreon : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contr
Thu, June 24, 2021
Gina grew up as a hot babe, the kind we’d all be jealous of. It took a long journey of sexual acting out and questionable marriages for her to realize that she was both groomed to be this way, and that it’s a trauma response to early assaults. Being performative, dominant, or checking out are still common ways her body responds, even though she loves her husband. She is the mother of two daughters and is committed to finding a path to sex that feels safe, and hopefully even enjoyable. Gina is a 43-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as Latina, monogamous, straight, and married. She was brought up in a Catholic home and she now has two daughters. She describes her body as average and peri-menopausal. Bookmark moments: 7:10 - Gina shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, rubbing herself on the corner of a piece of furniture as a child—something she now sees her own young daughters doing. She only learned as an adult that people masturbate and this is common. 14:25 - Gina has a repressed memory of being molested. Leah shares that you do not need to know what happened in order to heal. 19:00 - Gina has her first boyfriend, and first unpleasant groping. It brings up a memory of a previous unwanted, confusing fingering by a non-blood-related family member. 25:02 - They discuss autonomic pleasure during assault, and how deeply confusing that can be. 30:49 - Gina remembers feeling pleasure when she finally has consensual sex, but she knew even then to be performative. She links this to growing up, when her father encouraged her to look sexy as though that reflected positively on him and would speak inappropriately in front of her. 35:26 - She starts playing a dangerous game with getting herself in and out of sexual situations to reclaim control. In the middle of this she gets married at 18, he is in the military, and she has intense anxiety attacks. A double life ensues. 43:17 - Gina opens up about having a sexual attraction to women which coincided with an increasing disgust with the men for whom she stripped. 47:55- She gets out of the bad marriage and rewrites her story with an unusual new marriage the same day of her divorce. She has loads of sexual encounters, enough to earn her a nickname; they divorce when his girlfriend gets pregnant. 51:45 - She meets her current husband; at the time she sees him as fresh meat to teach. She enters a period of discovering herself *without* sex and deliberately envisions who she wants to be—someone who is truthful and has intellectual coffee shop friends. 55:26 - Childhood trauma resurfaces as she faces a new conflict: how to enjoy sex without performing her enjoyment. 18 years into a happy marriage, she still struggles between detachment and control. Motherhood, especially touch out from breastfeeding, complicates things. 1:02:40 - Gina recognizes a need for non
Thu, June 17, 2021
Danielle is a therapist who has also graduated from the school of life. Her earliest sexual experiences were non-consensual and impacted her for long after the events happened in implicit, explicit, and confusing ways. She found healing within a happy marriage, then suffered a miscarriage with its own series of impacts. She’s doing well now, and still loves a Reverse Cowgirl. Danielle is a 35-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as straight, monogamous, married, and pre-menopausal. She describes her body as athletic. Bookmark moments: 3:10 - Danielle shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, watching Cinderella at age 4-5 and being sucked in by the “will they/won’t they” and the power of the first kiss. She recalls being seeking dedicated attention and commitment, even in pre-school. 8:00 - She has her first kiss. It’s magical until she finds out he’s kissing other girls too. 11:40 - She meets her first bad boy – a tortured-artist type. Non-consensual intercourse occurs. A lack of “no” is not a “yes.” 20:30 - The body can still have an autonomic pleasure response when there is abuse or coercion. 24:00 - Danielle talks about her first real love, her college boyfriend who is a deeply good human dude. A lot of processing of her past experiences ends up happening on his time. The Kobe Bryant assault coverage triggers her in the breakroom at work; she spontaneously recalls an assault by a group of boys at age 7. Waves of memory and pain break over her for a while. 33:27 - She opens up about what sex was like while she processed her trauma. She reclaims her sexuality within the safety and intimacy she finds with her husband. 38:10 - Danielle talks about experiencing miscarriage last year, her hopes for having children, and their marriage bed turning into a micromanagement project: how to make a baby when great sex isn’t enough, and how to prevent that from spoiling the great sex. 47:10 Danielle is curious about how people function in non-monogamous relationship styles and what this means about our ability to love and connect across the commitment and desire spectrums. The Lowdown (53:22) Patreon : Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love t
Thu, June 10, 2021
Christine inhabits a sexual landscape that includes orgies, bondage, non-monogamy, skilled play partners, and sex-positive parties. She talks about a surprising struggle: how dissociation and OCD impact her ability to orgasm, even while having lots of fun. Christine Wild is the host of the podcast Running Wild With Christine. She is also the author of the book “Just Bad Timing.” You can find her at: Website - https://justbadtiming.com Podcast - anchor.fm/runningwildwithchristine Twitter - https://twitter.com/christinewild Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/christinewild_ Christine is a 29-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as white, bisexual, non-monogamous, and in a committed relationship. She grew up in Switzerland, spent summers in Croatia, and now lives in Canada. Bookmark moments: (4:08) Christine shares her first memories of sexual pleasure, with a recurring summer house love from ages 8-15. She tells the story of losing her virginity to him. (11:09) She grew up in a “prim and proper, but open” single mom household in Switzerland. Sex Ed was the usual condom and banana; there was also a kind of Planned Parenthood though. (15:51) Her summer love gets a real girlfriend. From 16-18, she has a good amount of unmemorable sex before finding someone to accidentally date as a hot fuck-buddy twice her age. (20:43) Christine moves to Vancouver for college and revels in new freedom. “That’s when the fun really started.” She racks up numbers but doesn’t have her first orgasm until age 23. (22:55) She talks about her first orgasm, difficulty orgasming, OCD, and how being disconnected from her body got in the way for a long time, and ironically, being emotionally drained by school and an unhealthy partnership finally overwhelmed her mind’s control. (30:40) Orgies! Plus non-monogamy, sex parties, BDSM, and MDMA. (34:35) Christine talks about relationship agreements and navigating a committed, non-monogamous relationship which emerged from sex party play. She compartmentalizes her non-primary relationships, like the person she sees only for BDSM. (43:40) Christine shares how being OCD and “high potential” shape her life and her sex life. (47:43) She wants to have kids but is also concerned about how it would impact her sex life. (51:00) Participation at sex parties can look like all different things, and can provide new ways to give and receive pleasure. (1:00:00) Things she’ll never do again, empowerment lessons from bond
Thu, May 27, 2021
Vin goes from the prototypical good girl to a (nearly) fearless adventurer. She married young, and enjoys a positive and openly communicative sexual relationship with her husband. Vin opens up about how their initial struggle to achieve penis-in-vagina sex led her to explore erotica, kink, anal play, toys, plugs, and taboo porn, all in a curvy body. Vin is a 22-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as Indigenous, monogamous, bisexual, and married. She grew up in a Christian home and describes her body as “chunky.” Bookmark moments: (3:38) Vin shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, before the age of 7. Family movie night had the occasional “close your eyes!” scene, and she got curious with her pillow. (11:40) Growing up, her parents demonstrated healthy affection towards each other, but there was no sex talk and her older sisters were mum on the subject. The family all find out late that the eldest sister is gay; it doesn’t go over well with her religious parents. (17:30) Vin has no boyfriend before her husband. Partly because she’s the quintessential good girl, and partly because no one interests her. (23:45) Vin struggled with her body image growing up; her parents consciously kept them from being overweight “for health reasons.” Health talk can be code for fat phobia, and she’s still to this day untangling her personal physical truth from this cultural fear. (34:11) Vin talks about meeting her husband. (40:20) After they kiss, things get moving and Vin has a fully clothed orgasm from breast play that she still remembers as a stand-out moment. (47:17) Vin shares what her total lack of experience going into the marriage looked like. She’d never even used a tampon and couldn’t fit her husband. He gallantly suggests a small dildo, and they take their time learning her body together. (51:25) They explore anal play to assist with her vaginal difficulties. It helps! (57:35) Vin opens up about the things she never knew existed and wants to try. The Yes/No/Maybe checklist was an inspiration for her, and it opens up a lot of conversation with her husband (though she wants to explore more than he does). (1:01:20) Leah shares resources for body image and movement help for curvy or larger bodies. Vin wants to get comfortable with physical positions other than being on her back. They also discuss Literotica and how it can be used for learning and exploration as well as pleasure. (1:06:00) Vin talks about fantasizing about women and bisexual desires, and they discuss how getting turned on by things that are taboo doesn’t mean you want to do it in real life. The Lowdown (1:10:50) Resources: Curvy Girl Sex - https://www.amazon.com/Curvy-Girl-Sex-Elle-Chase-ebook/dp/B01N25F4V0
Thu, May 20, 2021
Natalie is a 30-year-old, cisgender female who describes herself as monogamous, straight and engaged to be married. She describes her body as petite. Natalie talks about her experiences with both binge and purge eating behaviors, and how they affected her experience of sex and her body. She also talks about sometimes trading sex for lodging when she didn’t have steady housing. Bookmark moments: 4:06 - Natalie shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, in high school. She’s the middle of 7 kids and grew open in a pretty open household, though it’s hard to masturbate in a bunk bed. 8:48 - She loses her virginity to her first “official” boyfriend, whom she connects with on MySpace. 15:50 - She meets her next boyfriend at the mall, and moves in with him. Her body image issues escalate and she begins to work out excessively at the 24-hr gym. She starts eliminating food to cut down on her unsustainable gym schedule; then she starts taking Adderall. 22:00 - Her disordered eating takes a toll on her appearance, and her physical, sexual, and mental health. Sex becomes an obligation. 26:56 - They break up, and she begins a period of couch-surfing. She tries to eat more, and isn’t going to the gym, but she ends up purging and having to endure the associated health difficulties. 30:42 - Natalie talks about how she’s doing in present day with the disordered eating. She credits her improvement and maintenance to her current partner, who holds her accountable for her self-care. They’ve been together 8 years. The sex is fantastic. 39:34 - She and her partner experiment with BDSM. She likes collecting slap marks on her body, but has to hide them at work. 46:34 - Leah and Natalie discuss safety protocols for choking. 48:00 - Natalie recently removed her nipple and clit piercings, and feels renewed sensation. She discusses what’s on the table for her sexual future. The Lowdown (51:37) Patreon All Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at RateThisPodcast.com/goodgirls <
Thu, May 13, 2021
I need a longer break than I anticipated, so in order to keep giving you new content, I’m releasing a handful of interviews in their uncut form. Donya started getting sexual attention very young because her body developed early. As a teenager and adult, she has experienced a wide range of relationship styles and partners. After having a child and settling into the closest thing to commitment outside of marriage, she received a breast cancer diagnosis. Donya is a 46-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as white, bisexual, monogamous, and in a committed relationship. Bookmark moments: 4:48 - Donya shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, finding a book of erotica at age 9 or 10 and feeling aroused in a new way—both physically and mentally, at the same time. 7:58 - Sex was not discussed in the home; her parents divorced and her mother remarried a closed-off man. She finds her mom’s secret copy of “The Joy of Sex” at some point. 14:40 - Donya talks about being both busty and a dancer and receiving sexual attention from an early teen age. It’s an early experience of power and pleasure—especially at youth group. Dry humping becomes a favorite activity. 24:51 - Sex itself is fairly disappointing early on; Donya learns to exercise the power dynamic between using the appeal she has to get attention and wanting to go slow to actually find pleasure. 29:00 - Donya finally experiences a lover who is devoted to her pleasure. As part of the Society for Creative Anachronism, she tries to navigate the community’s culture of non-monogamy. 37:23 - Donya talks about the end of her primary poly relationship: yes, you can be poly and still cheat. 39:19 - Donya shares how she came out as bisexual and began to experiment, up to the point of marrying a “Santa Cruz lesbian” and seeing the inside of man-bashing culture. 50:19 - Donya catches us up on her current long-term monogamous male partner, with whom she has a child. They’ve been together 8 years and have a fully committed life; at first neither want to mess with marriage again, but it’s now on the table. 58:04 - Childbearing (and specifically vaginal birth) impacts her sexuality. So does being a mother to a young child, and the parenting style choices they make. 1:05:28 - Donya experiences a series of illnesses, and is diagnosed with breast cancer. She and her partner go through periods of separation. They’ve gotten therapy and are currently together. 1:08:22 - She talks about the details of her breast cancer journey. She feels like her body let her down, and fears bad sex in forced menopause. The Lowdown (1:13:52) Patreon : All Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are FREE! They can be accessed at <a href= "http
Fri, May 07, 2021
I told you I’d drop something fun into your feed while I’m on break and here it is! A couple days ago, I had a conversation with my friend Stefanie Michele on Instagram Live. Stefanie is an Intuitive Eating coach who helps people break out of the binge and restrict patterns of disordered eating. We talked about the intersection of body image and sex – believing our partner actually loves our body, rather than just tolerating it. If I’m not comfortable being naked in front of my partner? How do I get over the feeling that people would only be interested in me if I were more attractive? And more. You can find Stefanie on Instagram @IAmStefanieMichele . I’ll be back with an all new interview episode next week!
Thu, April 22, 2021
Patreon : All Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do , I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod : Leave a rating and review at Apple Podcasts Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest FOLLOW LEAH: Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com WORK WITH LEAH: Learn about coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
Thu, April 15, 2021
Hope is trapped in a sexually repressive, emotionally abusive marriage shaped by the patriarchal traditions and relationship culture of her country of origin. With awareness comes healing, and she hopes to spread the message to other women that they are allowed to speak up, deserving of basic decency, and even worthy of real love. Hope is a 38-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as Pakistani, Sunni Muslim, straight, married, and monogamous. She deals with polycystic ovarian syndrome and describes her body as “fluffy”. Bookmark moments: 4:56 - Hope’s first memory of sexual pleasure is, in fact, quite recent. She grew up in a conservative family and didn’t think of herself as sexual aside from knowing she was straight due to “deep crushes” on boys. 9:57 - Conversations around sex during her teen years in Pakistan were accidental and minimal aside from a biology lesson in school, which was delivered by a no-nonsense chemistry teacher. 15:07 - Hope’s first strong experience of sexual pull at age 18 in college is distressing to her. 18:39 - Hope talks about being a Sunni Muslim in Pakistan and the impact that has on what sexuality looks like in culture. 24:45 - Arranged marriages and matchmaking under patriarchal culture set a perfect table for relationships with toxic power dynamics, emotional repression, and lack of fulfilment. 32:47 - Hope describes the matchmaking experience in Pakistan. 35:40 - Hope meets her husband. His mother has a history of working outside the home; this is a surprise and a boon. The match is difficult though, and women do not speak up. She finds herself trapped raising children and lacking the financial independence to leave. 41:30 - Hope opens up about the sex in her marriage: awkward and painful. She learned from books, he learned from porn. 46:15 - She has only recently learned about female pleasure by exploring masturbation to release her pent-up desire. It’s also a step towards self-healing. 50:00 - Hope talks about the future. She does not foresee another relationship, she just wishes for peace. 53:13 - She shares how she envisions a more open dialogue with her own children around sex and relationships, breaking a cultural and generational pattern of toxicity. Patreon : All Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at <a hre
Thu, April 08, 2021
You don’t worry about having a bathtub masturbation addiction . Leah answers a listener’s questions about whether she has a porn addiction, and why she can’t orgasm with her husband. She talks about identifying the function of porn, not taking on shame, and navigating a relationship agreement around it. Bookmark moments: 2:12 - “Am I normal?” A listener calls in with two inter-related questions: is it normal to be unable to orgasm through intercourse with my husband, and is it normal that I only can with porn? 4:11 - Leah responds to the listener. Difficulty orgasming during is a thing that many women experience. There can be physical or mental causes. 6:17 - How do you identify techniques that deliver pleasure if you don’t know what you want or what is possible? 8:17 - Leah calls back to a recent share about being shamed by our partner. This creates an experience of break in trust. 9:28 - Is there *actually* such a thing as porn addiction? We do a fact check. 10:50 - Check in with how porn functions in your relationship. Is it what you need to physiologically relax? 12:16 - Make a relationship agreement that supports you on how to navigate it—without being responsible for your partner or making yourself small. 15:48- PJ Parties for Grownups! Podcast recommendation: Title – Decide Balance Host – Yvonne Hernández Apple Podcasts description - A space where anyone of any age can decide balance in their day at anytime with a 5 minute guided bilingual (English & Spanish) meditation. Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/DecideBalance Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DecideBalance Join me on Patreon : As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at Apple Podcasts Have a questions o
Thu, April 01, 2021
Charlotte’s sexual journey has taken the deep bends—and openings—of the yoga she practices. She met her husband in a guru community, fled it, had two daughters, reclaimed her body, and is now exploring “high-fidelity” polyamory in several configurations. Charlotte is a 45-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, and perimenopausal with an athletic body. Her sexual orientation and preferred relationship style are under exploration, and her current relationship status is “exploring.” Bookmark moments: 5:02 - Charlotte shares her first experience of sexual pleasure, at age 18. She talks about arousal and masturbation and exploration occurring before then, but not to the level of real pleasure. 11:20 - Charlotte grew up Catholic, with very little family PDA, and the most basic Sex Ed. “None of the juicy stuff.” 19:00 - She meets the father of her children in a yoga community and has to keep the relationship a secret as they travel the world with their guru. They are forced to leave, quickly marry, and have two daughters. 21:26 - Charlotte opens up about sexual violation at the hands of the guru as part of the “spiritual path” she was expected to be on. She struggles for three years before it starts outweighing the good of the mission she believed in. 27:55 - She and her husband leave the community together and set up house. Pregnancy, motherhood, and breastfeeding take over her body and sex becomes a marital duty. 29:38 - PJ Parties for Grownups! 32:17 - Her marriage struggles. 35:10 - She finds herself alone for the first time in 10 years when her husband takes the girls on a trip. She reunites with a college friend…with benefits. 37:00 - Charlotte talks about her current exploratory dating, Her sexual orientation and relationship styles vary at the moment, and include being in a non-monogamous “high-fidelity polyamory” with a super communicative yoga dude and being the girlfriend of a married couple. 40:20 - After spending time digging into and undoing her wounds, she is literally bathed in new love. 43:58 - A friend of a friend overhears Charlotte talking about her escapades at a party, and contacts her afterward to ask if she’ll have sex with her husband. He turns out to be hot enough to make her nervous. 47:26 - Charlotte looks to the future and potentially partnering up monogamously again, as well as further pushing her sexual boundaries. The Patreon extras for this episode are: Charlotte talks about dealing with depression and uncovering feelings of unworthiness as a college student. Then she talks about the final disintegration of her marriage. And of course, the full Lowdown Q&A! As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE
Thu, March 25, 2021
Leah shares a coaching session with Cindy, a married mother of one, for support around a very human variety of issues: decreased libido, sex after motherhood, love languages, pandemic life, sex for connection vs. conception, miscarriage, self-care, homework, and grace. Bookmark moments: 3:18 - Cindy talks about participating in coaching in one of Leah’s group sessions, and catches us up on what life looks like (sexually and otherwise) a year into the pandemic. 7:46 - Stress can have varied effects on libido—up or down. 9:35 - Can you turn your libido back “on”? Cindy talks about what she did to try, paying more attention to her body, taking better care of it. 12:20 - They talk about trying to use sex to connect *as well as* conceive. 15:41 - Leah helps Cindy hone in on what she wants her sex life to look life. 17:47 - Cindy conceives but suffers a miscarriage; she opens up about the impact. 20:25 - PJ Parties for Grownups! 22:57 - Homework assignments—fun ones, of course—can be a tangible, focused way to take concrete steps towards your goal. And, sometimes the homework is giving yourself grace. 30:08 - Cindy gets specific about what she wants to focus on in her relationship. 32:05 - They speak on love languages: his is gifts, hers is acts of service. Leah helps Cindy navigate through ideas for activities. 38:00 - Leah talks about how coaching can help in different relationship areas and for specific interests, with group and solo options. 40:03 - A post-coaching update from Cindy; and a discussion about being compassionate with yourself about your fears. Join me on Patreon : As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at Apple Podcasts Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the
Thu, March 18, 2021
Jordan is a young mother of two young children; she’s also a doula, and therefore all up in bodies and their business. Her innate curiosity led her on a sex and biology research deep-dive that coincided with the start of her relationship with her husband. As a result, she is passionate in her work and home about open and aware sexual dialogue, consent, communication, and support. Jordan is a 23-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as white, straight, monogamous and married with two kids. She grew up in a Christian home and she describes her body as “tall and lanky like a baby giraffe.” * Please note : At the time of this recording, Jordan was not yet public about her religious views. In the years since, she has become vocally pro-life and transphobic. While I stand behind THIS conversation, I cannot support or recommend any of her current work.
Thu, March 11, 2021
Caitlin returns for a follow-up coaching session with her partner, Chris. They check in with Leah about their BDSM explorations, dom/sub dynamics, communication in and out of play sessions, aftercare, safe words, bruising, pleasure, and sourcing and trying new ideas. Bookmark moments: 4:20 - Caitlin and Chris catch Leah up on the new-to-them BDSM they’ve been exploring and what they’d like support with. 7:31 - Caitlin is clear that sub is her turf. 8:38 - They get into specifics with impact tools, paddles, riding crop, switch, etc. Chris explains how he manages and escalates the impact using a 1-10 scale and timing set to playdate playlist. 12:55 - Leah talks about safe-wording to help Caitlin really get into sub space and also to give Chris reassurance. The line rests in the hands of the sub. Leah also talks about non-verbal safe cues. 17:55 - Chris shares his progress since the start of their sexual partnership. 20:29 - PJ Parties for Grownups! 23:13 - Pleasure dynamics for the dom, and physically dominating vs verbally dominating. Chris has an easier time with one over the other and is naturally a giver, so Leah helps him find new some avenues and techniques. 27:07 - Making a restaurant-style command or activity menu ahead of time can help. Leah shares a few tips. 30:53 - Navigating voyeurism/exhibitionism, consent, and safe places to engage. 36:21 - The Yes/No/Maybe list is great for finding and knowing your hard red lines. It’s also a good idea to revisit the list periodically. Leah shares other resources and talks about BDSM tasting events. 41:31 - Chris talks about finding and pushing the limits as a dom while still being careful not to hurt her. 43:50 - Each play session is separate and discrete; always check in fresh. 44:56 - Is pushing BDSM limits healthy? If you’re having consensual fun, carry on. 48:26 - Here’s how to work with Leah. Resources mentioned: Three Minute Game Yes / No / Maybe list Literotica Join me on Patreon : As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod:
Thu, March 04, 2021
Tee is unhappily married, and unhappy with her sex life—like so many people. Also like too many, she experiences the lingering impacts of sexual assault. She’s doing the work of setting boundaries, trying to provide a good example for her kids, and is still hoping someday she’ll find a communicative and loving partner. Bookmark moments: 3:33 - Tee shares her first memory of sexual pleasure around age 16, having an electrifying first kiss with an annoying boy. 9:13 - Tee talks about growing up in a conservative Baptist congregation, then opens up about seeing her parents’ marital difficulties and the lingering impacts that has had on her relationships even to present day. 12:22- She is aware of the impact of spousal/parental yelling on her own kids. 12:45 - Tee is a masturbation late-bloomer. She felt behind her peers growing up, in all sexual matters. 15:05 - She loses her virginity and discovered that too much size matters. 17:33 - Her next lover takes his time and explains things. 18:50 - Tee talks about body image, being a tall woman. 25:13 PJ Parties for Grownups! 30:40 - A month after she gets engaged, Tee discovers she is pregnant. She miscarries at 5 months. The relationship doesn’t survive. 35:31 - She bumps into a childhood friend. 37:23 - Tee delves into the downturn in their sexual relationship. He tells her she is sexually immature. A quantity vs quality discussion ensues. 40:34 - A birthday dinner for her husband leads to sex gone awry and a lot of resentment. Communication was never good and has since broken down. He is ill and she stays out of obligation. 46:08 - Tee is contemplating a different future, for herself and her children. 49:42 - Men wanting to engage in three-ways with her and another woman makes her uncomfortable. Do all men want that? The Patreon extras for this episode are: This week at Patreon we’ve got the full extended Lowdown Q&A with Tee. As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I donate 10% of all Patreon income to ARC-Southeast , an organization that provides f
Thu, February 25, 2021
Leah shares a coaching session with client Caitlin to give us an in-depth experience of what coaching looks and feels like. Caitlin is divorced and currently in a friends-with-benefits heterosexual relationship. She and Leah had discussed fantasies and BDSM in previous private sessions; here they focus on Caitlin’s new (or perhaps not new?) sexual attraction to women, and how she might begin to explore that in real life. Bookmark moments: 2:15 - Leah explains what coaching does—and doesn’t—involve. She introduces Caitlin, the coach-ee! 4:44 - Caitlin catches Leah up on a big realization she’s had since their last coaching sessions: she’s sexually curious about women too. 10:21 - Leah helps Caitlin hone in on whether her attraction to women is a leftover effect of our hyper-sexualized-female-form-loving culture, or a deeper sexual attraction. 14:40 - The conversation turns to fantasies; they’re a great way to safely explore new thoughts and desires. Erotica is another. 16:51 - What “pansexual” means. 19:31 - Dating women can feel new to women. Leah assures Caitlin that the rules are basically the same: “Don’t be an asshole.” Also, exploring sex with a new-to-you gender can feel like a second puberty. 23:34 - When navigating COVID risks with dating apps, be clear up front about your risk tolerance and boundaries. 26:55 - There are some sensitivities to know about for women who are new to dating women. Leah talks about bi vs lesbian. Also, there’s a difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction. 33:40 - Threesomes can be a fun way to try sex with a woman, if approached with sensitivity. Leah recommends more resources. 36:39 - They talk about how to find someone who wants to explore with you on the dating apps. 40:30 - Leah talks more about what coaching looks and feels like, in solo and group options. Resources mentioned: Erotica collections – I recommend the collections edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel Literotica – A site featuring erotica submitted by primarily amateur writers. I love it because no matter what your interest or fetish is, someone is writing about it here. Because it’s all amateur, though, you may have to wade through a bunch of stories that are terribly written before you hit on one that tickles your fancy! Start by searching the tags for topics that interest you - https://tags.literotica.com (be aware that this site does show ads from porn sites so it is NSFW, but the pictures are generally not X-rated) Join me on Patreon : As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex a
Thu, February 18, 2021
Stephanie shares how childhood shame about feeling good in her body led to an eating disorder. She talks about how the eating disorder affected her ability to relate with sexual partners, including her now-husband. Healing the eating disorder has allowed her to begin relating in a new way with her body and her husband. Bookmark moments: 2:37 - Stephanie shares her first memory of sexual play at age 5 or 6, accidentally discovering that rubbing her genitals felt good. The adults around her shamed her, leading her to believe masturbation was a terrible secret. 8:20 - Shame compounds to feeling that her vagina is broken. 11:45 - Stephanie describes a “good girl” upbringing, and being behind her peers in sexual experimentation. 14:55 - An eating disorder manifests in her life. 19:57 - What trauma, even/especially when we don’t label it as such, can look like. 24:31 - Stephanie hits a rock bottom with her eating disorder in college, and rebounds into a new willingness to try sex finally. 28:53 - She meets her husband, who makes her feel safe enough to begin to be present in her body during sex. She experiences her first real pleasure. 35:55 - Stephanie elaborates the myriad ways her eating disorder impacts their sexual relationship. 44:19 - PJ Parties for Grownups! 47:06 - While the sex is great in her marriage, Stephanie questions the kissing, and she and Leah go on a deep-dive about embodiment. The Lowdown (54:08) Have you ever felt a sexual urge that confused you? The Patreon extras for this episode are: This week at Patreon we have an extra THIRTY MINUTES of conversation with Stephanie! She talks about how food stood in as a replacement for physical touch earlier in her life, and how having kids has changed her relationship with her body and her sexuality. And also how having kids pushed her to address her eating disorder in a new way. And, of course, there’s the extended Lowdown Q&A. As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a ra
Thu, February 11, 2021
Dr. Evelin Dacker returns to answer a listener’s question about common and chronic UTI’s that occur after sex. She breaks down the how and why, and addresses prevention and treatment. She explains how naturopaths can restore balance to your vaginal ecology without creating a medical wasteland, and recommends some home remedies so that you too can help your vagina help itself. Bookmark moments: 1:06 - Listener question: Do I really have to take antibiotics the rest of my life to avoid post-sex UTIs? 3:21 - Dr. Dacker breaks down the anatomy behind UTI’s. 5:51 - Lube can have a non-sexual protective application. 6:18 - D-Mannose is a carbohydrate sugar that lines the urethra and actually prevents the bacteria from migrating. OTC pro-biotics can help too. 7:41 - Vaginitises can occur with any vaginal intercourse. 9:58 - PJ Parties for Grownups! 12:50 - Yeast infections are discussed. 15:34 - Why the usual antibiotic-after-sex treatment is *not* the best. 16:48 - Dr. Dacker explains why naturopaths are a great place to start when treating chronic infections. 18:42 - Call the listener line {720-GOOD-SEX}if you have questions! 20:17 - Podcast recommendation—Wine and Chisme with Jessica Yañez Podcast recommendation: Title - Wine & Chisme Host - Jessica Yañez Apple Podcasts description - The Wine & Chisme Podcast was created to share the stories of everyday people doing extraordinary things to serve their community. Our host, Jessica Yañez brings her love for wine and passion for storytelling together to highlight the stories that need to be told in communities of color. Chisme (Spanish for gossip) comes from the interviewees themselves as they "spill the wine" on their own terms. So grab a glass of wine and join us for the new Wednesday. #WineAndChismeWednesday Instagram - TheWineAndChisme Resources mentioned: You can find Evelin Dacker online at EvelinDacker.com , www.MakeTimeForTheTalk.com , and on Instagram @ sexmeddoc Join me on Patreon : As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be de
Sun, February 07, 2021
“Deaf U” star Alexa Paulay-Simmons gets candid about who she is (and always has been) as a sexual person, and how that’s shaped her life—both on the inside through her choices and experiences, and on the outside with the tight-knit Deaf community and the show’s global audience. Alexa is a 24-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, straight, monogamous, with a sporty body. She was featured in the Netflix series “Deaf U”. At the time of this broadcast, she is dating fellow Deaf U cast member Braxton. BOOKMARK MOMENTS: Alexa shares her first memory of sexual pleasure and asking her mom questions at age 6 or 7. Alexa finally has good sex—with someone she can give instructions to. She talks about how it can be awkward to use your hands for dual purposes—talking and pleasing—during sex. Daddy issues: Alexa struggles with game-playing, distancing herself, and a lack of communication with her sexual partners. With self-awareness, she chose to develop healthier habits. Leah and Alexa discuss the conversation on Deaf U around the unintended pregnancy, and consent (especially around ejaculating inside a woman). Alexa talks about power imbalances and ignored communication in the relationship, and how his wants began to supersede her needs. Alexa’s current relationship is full of communication and thereby trust. She shares how the Deaf community has responded to (and judged) her openness about sex. Her father is less than thrilled. Vaginismus is discussed; lubricant is your friend. (If it still hurts even with lube, it’s a good idea to get it checked out.) THE LOWDOWN: What’s the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had? What are your hard red lines, things that you won’t do? What belief did you have about sex as a child that you wish you could go back and correct her on now? Are there any other things that you’d like to clear up, anything else you’d like to say about how you were portrayed in the show? Don’t forget – as of July 2020 ALL audio extras are FREE at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex! I've done this because there are people who need this material but don't have the financial means to access it behind a paywall. But there are many costs associated with producing this show, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Our American Sign Language interpreter for this episode is Courtney Farbman. BE PART OF THE SHOW:
Thu, February 04, 2021
Hey friends, You’ll notice this isn’t the regular episode you were expecting! The regular episode was loaded into the feed, and some of you may have already downloaded and listened to it. However, I made an error in the production of this episode so, in fairness to our guest, I’ve pulled the episode to fix it. Here’s what happened – Our guest, Alexa, is Deaf and we did the interview through an interpreter. It was my first time ever doing an interview through an interpreter, so it took me a little time to relax into it. What didn’t occur to me was to send the transcript to Alexa in advance of the release to confirm that the translation accurately reflected what she said. I did that last night. This morning I had an email from Alexa letting me know there were some issues. In light of that, I’ve pulled the regular episode down while we make some adjustments to make sure Alexa’s thoughts and feelings are truly represented. While this is resulting in a bit of a scramble this morning, I wouldn’t have it any other way. The most important thing in the world to me is to tell women’s real and true stories. Too often women’s voices are obscured by others trying to tell us what they THINK we said. These stories – YOUR stories – are too important to let that happen. I don’t know exactly when the episode will be back up in the feed. So I thank you in advance for your patience while we work this out so Alexa’s voice comes through the way it should. Talk to you soon.
Thu, February 04, 2021
“Deaf U” star Alexa Paulay-Simmons gets candid about who she is (and always has been) as a sexual person, and how that’s shaped her life—both on the inside through her choices and experiences, and on the outside with the tight-knit Deaf community and the show’s global audience. Alexa is a 24-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, straight, monogamous, with a sporty body. She was featured in the Netflix series “Deaf U”. At the time of this broadcast, she is dating fellow Deaf U cast member Braxton. Bookmark moments: 4:15 - Alexa shares her first memory of sexual pleasure and asking her mom questions at age 6 or 7. 9:58 - Alexa hilariously describes learning to masturbate. 11:23 - At age 16, she starts having sex in order to feel better about her parents’ divorce. It doesn’t help. 18:18 - Alexa finally has good sex—with someone she can give instructions to. 24:00 - She talks about how it can be awkward to use your hands for dual purposes—talking and pleasing—during sex. 26:57 - Daddy issues: Alexa struggles with game-playing, distancing herself, and a lack of communication with her sexual partners. With self-awareness, she chose to develop healthier habits. 29:26 - Leah and Alexa discuss the conversation on Deaf U around the unintended pregnancy, and consent (especially around ejaculating inside a woman). Alexa talks about power imbalances and ignored communication in the relationship, and how his wants began to supersede her needs. 35:46 - Alexa’s current relationship is full of communication and thereby trust. 37:00 - She shares how the Deaf community has responded to (and judged) her openness about sex. 39:56 - Her father is less than thrilled. 40:48 - Vaginismus is discussed; lubricant is your friend. (If it still hurts even with lube, it’s a good idea to get it checked out.) The Lowdown (47:15) What’s the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had? What are your hard red lines, things that you won’t do? What belief did you have about sex as a child that you wish you could go back and correct her on now? Are there any other things that you’d like to clear up, anything else you’d like to say about how you were portrayed in the show? Mentioned in this episode: Our American Sign Language interpreter for this episode is Courtney Farbman. If you would like to engage Courtney for ASL interpretation, you can reach her at courtneyalainaintrepreting (at) gmail (dot) com. The Patreon extras for this episode are: ➡️ The full lowdown Q&A with Alexa As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex</e
Thu, January 28, 2021
“The story of our pandemic sex life: it has not been pretty.” Host Leah gets raw and real about how her intimate life has weathered the storm of a year-long international crisis, and about how confronting her partner’s depression spiral turned out to be a better strategy—for both of them—than enduring it competently. Bookmark moments: 1:05 - We have transcripts! Plus: part of why that is awesome is our upcoming interview with a deaf guest! 4:55 - Leah opens up about her own sex life during the pandemic. 6:44 - Built into our society, and therefore our healthcare models, is the idea that men shouldn’t ask for help. It’s not an excuse, but it has had real consequences for Leah and her partner. 10:03 - Here comes the sex (or, doesn’t). 13:13 - As her partner’s depression and drinking worsens, Leah has the profound realization that her management via being strong and setting boundaries has the side effect of buffering (and thereby supporting) a damaging dynamic. 14:00 - He hears some brutal truth; hearing requires Leah saying it, of course. He gets help. 16:15 - While sex has been slow to re-enter the relationship, there have been benefits to the work they’ve done. 18:23 - PJ parties for grown-ups! 20:39 - Featuring the “Heaving Bosoms” podcast. Podcast recommendation: Title – Heaving Bosoms Hosts – Erin and Melody Description - Best friends and romance lovers, Erin and Melody, recap romance novels from a comedic, open-hearted feminist, sex-positive perspective! Giggling, tangents, and sincere joy abound! We take ourselves VERY seriously. Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/heavingbosoms Join me on Patreon : As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, s
Thu, January 21, 2021
Debbie was formed by experiences of both pleasure and pain. She was blessed with good early relationships, but also is a survivor of the epidemic of sexual abuse in elite women’s sport. Her faith in herself helped her choose to heal. Debbie is a 52-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, married, and post-menopausal. She describes her body as average. Bookmark moments: 3:40 - Debbie’s first memory of sexual pleasure is at age 16 with her first boyfriend, who had learned a fabulous trick with ice. 9:13 - She shares about growing up in church, conservative but with a touch-generous loving youth group. 11:18 - Debbie then opens up about a deeply traumatic experience: she was molested by her gymnastics coach. She talks about him being charged and acquitted, and about subsequently being groomed in his tutelage. 20:44 - Getting her parents to admit what happened was difficult. The lack of public condemnation was even more harmful. 25:52 - Debbie discusses two other painful sexual traumas. 35:17 - She speaks to the fact that despite the trauma, she is not broken, and she wants to assure other victims that a healthy sex life with pleasure is still possible. 42:20 - After they separate, Debbie’s husband buys a self-help workbook and actually does the work. Things become peaceful, and then they turn around in a big way. 47:16 - Debbie still deals with chronic tendonitis in her hips, which impacts sex, and she talks about being post-menopausal. The Lowdown (50:32) What’s the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had? What’s your favorite sex toy? Have you ever felt a sexual urge that confused you? The Patreon extras for this episode are: Debbie tells a story about the gorgeous Australian man she met while traveling on a train around Europe. And also – why do men feel entitled to be dating more than one woman, but get upset when a woman is dating more than one man? We also have an extended conversation about the way she talks to her four sons about sex, and that interaction has been colored by her own abuse history. PLUS, the extended Lowdown Q&A! As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgi
Thu, January 14, 2021
STARS is an easy-to-remember acronym for conversations that lead to awesome consensual sex. Dr. Evelin Dacker developed the STARS method to create a way for potential and current partners to have a thorough and safe conversation about physical and relationship expectations. Public Service Announcement: Sometimes discovery is the mother of tension. Intimate play can be easier and much more fun if you go in knowing what each other likes, or doesn’t. Bookmark moments: 2:39 - What is the STARS conversation? Plus, if you’ve had it before, you should have it again. 6:36 - Dr. Evelin Dacker explains sex positivity. 9:03 - As she engaged in health research earlier in her career, she realized there’s a total lack of sex talk in the field. 12:11 - Leah shares an experience she had at her first small group portion of a STARS class. When asked to share what her turn-ons and avoids were, she burst into tears and couldn’t speak. 14:12 – Dr. Dacker breaks down each letter in STARS, and what those categories encompass. For example, dealing with shame and stigma are a part of the STI portion of the talk. 16:21 - Avoids are often boundaries related to trauma and fear; they may not be forever fixed. Also, don’t wait to talk about them until you’re heavy in the bedroom and unable to clearly hear your partner! 24:15 - Leah demonstrates a full STARS talk with her friend Ray. Mentioned in this episode: havetimeforthetalk.com – The online home for the STARS talk Join me on Patreon : As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . BE PART OF THE SHOW: Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls Have a question or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person! Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at <a href="http://www.leahcarey.com/guest" target="_bl
Thu, December 10, 2020
Lachlan was born with a vagina. His is the story of how a boy learned to be a girl, then learned to be invisible, then a lesbian, before learning that he could just be who he was all along, except that it’s still … complicated. In this super-sized episode… Lachlan is a 41-year-old transgender man. He describes himself as white, straight-ish, monogamish and single. He describes his body as a round, cuddly bear. Bookmark moments: 6:33 - Lachlan shares the complications around early sexual desire for him, because he knew he was attracted to other little girls. 11:11 - Lachlan’s parents don’t pressure him to gender conform as a kid, though trans isn’t a known thing back then. Until, a birthday party. He learns about “passing” and blouses, and struggles through his teens. 18:21 - He talks about his rich fantasy life as a teen, in which he is a tall handsome football-playing penis-bearing male vaguely modeled on Macguyver. 23:08 - Lachlan’s first sexual experience of any kind is at age 21 with his first girlfriend, who teaches him to masturbate. He squirts! 35:37 - The concept of transgender comes into his awareness. 40:49 - Lachlan comes out, despite fearing he will lose his entire family. 46:44 - After the news is broken to his father (by his mother) it is never spoken of between them again. 47:18 - Lachlan shares outward steps of transition; therapy, hormones, telling people you work with, growing facial hair. 53:36 - Becoming a man complicates his lesbian relationship. 55:05 - Lachlan details how sexuality transitions along with transitioning: the impacts of testosterone, top and bottom surgical options, the discomfort of still having to get a pap smear, etc. 1:08:14 - Lachlan talks about the mechanics around having sex in present day. 1:11:28 - Top surgery has enhanced appearance but decreased sensation. 1:14:45 - Heartbreak and pandemic create time alone. 1:16:12 - Lachlan passes fully as a male, and decides if and when disclosure comes, in normal life as well as dating. 1:20:28 - He opens the door on bathroom talk. The Lowdown The entire Lowdown Q&A is on Patreon this week because this episode was already SO long!!! Don’t forget – ALL audio extras are FREE at Patreon! ALL audio extras are now FREE for everyone!!!!! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . If you’d like to support the work I do, you can make a monthly contribution at that site. Mentioned in the episode: Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg – download a free PDF of the book at <a href="https://www.lesliefeinberg.net" target= "_blank" rel="no
Thu, December 03, 2020
What kind of touch do you enjoy? Have you thought about the ways, and places? Touch is a many-splendored thing. PSA: If you don’t know what kind of touch you like, there’s nothing wrong with you—but you have some (really great) homework to do. Bookmark moments: 3:13 - A chorus of voices answer the question “What is your favorite kind of touch?”. 14:23 - Leah answers. She first discovered what kind of touch she likes while drifting during a high school class. 16:31 - Podcast recommendation - As part of introducing this week’s featured podcast, Leah opens up about the emotional abuse she experienced from her father growing up, and how that shaped her later interest in people who leave cults. 19:18 - Leah talks about undoing her own brainwashing. Podcast recommendation: “Two Sisters and a Cult” with Jada Smith and Alesia Galati Jada and Alesia are sister cult survivors. They discuss all things historical and present-day cults, while relating the topics to the cult they grew up in. Find them online at www.twosisterscult.com Listen at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-sisters-and-a-cult/id1503417365 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/twosisterscult/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/twosisterscult Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk HAVE A QUESTION? : Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex <!--
Wed, November 25, 2020
Leah met Gretchen at Sex Geek Summer Camp. They realized they share remarkably similar journeys; both started having sex later in life, believed that they were broken, then sought out sexual experiences and healing. Significantly, both engaged the services of a tantric practitioner. Gretchen is a cisgender 46-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as bisexual and polyamorous. She describes her body as average. PSA: You can’t learn to swim in a lecture hall. Bookmark moments: 4:07 - Gretchen talks about her first memory of sexual pleasure, cuddling with another girl around age 8 or 9. 7:13 - Growing up Catholic, sex was never talked about. 10:44 - Gretchen discusses dissociating from her body for most of her life. Her parents never discussed her appearance in an attempt to minimize cultural influences. It backfires, though not in the usual way. 18:12 - In her late 20’s, after returning from the Peace Corps, she finally tries to start dating. 19:39 - Living in the culture of the Dominican Republic changes her perspective. 25:32 - After a long time of flirting with a co-worker, sex enters the conversation. The encounter qualifies more as “penetration of some type”. 36:06 - She’s moved to Portland and wanting to date and have sex. 39:28 - With the help of her therapist and a whiteboard, Gretchen has a breakthrough. 42:06 - She takes a 3-week trip to Mexico. It ends, unexpectedly, with a one-night stand with her Mayan kayak guide. For touch-starved Gretchen, the experience is wonderful, then strange, then breaks her with the thought that she might be frigid. 50:00 - Gretchen starts working with a tantric practitioner. The Lowdown (56:35) Do you enjoy giving blowjobs or oral sex? When you give a blowjob, do you swallow or not? What is a myth about sex you’ve had to unlearn? The Patreon extras for this episode are: Gretchen tells the story of the second time she had sex. It was with a guy who picked her up in a bar for a one-night stand when she was 30. She talks about the strange sex position he put her in that gave her a particularly unflattering view of her own body. Gretchen talks about the tantra practitioner who helped her consciously engage with her sexuality for the first time. We also talk about her emotional relationship with him – specifically, did she fall in love with him? The extended Lowdown Q&A ALL audio extras are now FREE for everyone!!!!! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . If you’d like to support the work I do, you can make a monthly
Thu, November 19, 2020
Even people who think they’re sexually open have hard red lines. This week Leah digs into discerning where your absolute no’s are, why they might be there, and how to share them with your partner(s). Bookmark moments: 3:42 – A chorus of voices answer the question, “What are your hard red lines?” 14:40 - Leah talks about her own hard red lines, a surprising number of which have to do how she is treated rather than specific act. 17:58 - Leah talks about both setting boundaries and defending them when it comes to your red lines. 19:19 - Pain tolerance, and how it can increase during sex, is discussed. 20:03 - Leah shares her process for vetting and setting boundaries with new partners in terms of safety and play. Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk HAVE A QUESTION? : Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex RATE THIS POD : Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls BE A GUEST : Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest COACHING : Want to talk with Leah directly? Visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey ( website , Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Music – Nazar Rybak
Thu, November 12, 2020
Overview: Candi lives with Muscular Dystrophy. She shares how it progressed and how it changed her physical capabilities over her lifetime, and what it’s like to date and to have sex with a visible disability. She also opens up about loving rough sex and BDSM, despite an appearance—and often others’ assumption—of fragility. Public Service Announcement: Never judge a book by its wheels. Bookmark moments: 4:30 - Candi shares her first memory of sexual desire, a seemingly spontaneous discovery of masturbation in 9th She grew up in a conservative Christian family and sex was not discussed. 7:46 - She talks about being flat-chested in high school, and being such a late bloomer that her mom never gave her the period talk and she only knew what was happening because of Sex Ed. 14:56 - Candi stays a virgin until she’s 22, influenced both by purity culture and fear of the unknown. 16:50 - She meets a cute boy with a leg brace in a boring class and they bond. She boldly asks him out. 19:53 - Her first sexual experience happens and leaves her feeling both curiosity and disappointment. 21:44 - Candi explains her Muscular Dystrophy. 26:46 - She reflects back to her first sexual experience through the lens of her disability and what the experience was like with her body. 29:43 - She goes into her next sexual experience in a way would *never* repeat. 35:54 - She opens up about the great sex she had, and the positions that managed it, with the random work guy she wasn’t attracted to. 39:00 - Liking aggressive sex is completely normal; also, be careful with choking. 40:04 - Candi meets a guy on a dating app, and after an interesting first meeting, he introduces her to BDSM and blows her mind. 50:04 - She opens up about how hard it is to watch able people enjoy romantic and life milestones that seem to pass her by despite her competence and energy. The Patreon extras for this episode are: Candi talked me through her Muscular Dystrophy progression from the point of view of the different equipment she used over time, eventually needing a full-power wheelchair beginning in 2017 The extra 25 minutes we didn’t have time for in the regular episode - Candi talks about the BDSM scene that went wrong, her journey of inner healing and growth, and the types of men that she’s attracted to. Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty FACEBOOK GROUP: www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk CALL-IN: Want to leave a message for Leah? Call 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739)
Thu, November 05, 2020
After having a baby, a mom is left feeling alone in the process of re-learning her body. Leah explains why it’s more than okay to seek support, and how that can generate its own kind of healing. Bookmark moments: 1:31 - A listener gave birth 3 years ago, and is still struggling with her altered body. She asks if she’s supposed to deal with it on her own, or if she can ask per partner for support. 2:06 - Leah shares her own struggle with body image, starting at a young age, and how hearing healing words from others is what finally broke through her negative internal messaging. 5:06 - Our culture harmfully socializes us to believe that radical independence in all areas is not only possible, but the goal. 6:35 - Sometimes our partners hold keys to our healing. Leah shows the listener how to start the conversation. 11:43 – Podcast recommendation: A Mind Full of Everything with Agrita - Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed by thoughts on a regular basis? Agrita explores the deep thoughts that leave her questioning why certain things are how they are, and the questions she’s eager to find answers to – from global issues like climate change to self-improvement and everything in between. The elephant episode - https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/mind-full-of/beautifulplanet-lessons-from-nhKBeA-t1PV/ Website - https://mindfullofeverything.home.blog Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mindfullofeverything_pod/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/mindfullofeverything Twitter - https://twitter.com/mindfull_agrita Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.com/mindfullofeverything/_created/ Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk HAVE A QUESTION? : Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community s
Thu, October 29, 2020
Yami opens up about a variety of common though not-commonly-talked-about subjects: sexual assault by a family member, and navigating polyamory. Yami is a 23-year-old, cisgender female who describes herself as bisexual and heteroromantic, in a relationship and exploring opening up with her partner. She describes her body shape as “a few extra pounds.” Public service announcement: It is not your job to not be assaulted. Especially as a younger person, you shouldn’t even need to know how to not be assaulted. Term to learn: Compersion is feeling pleasure when your partner is experiencing pleasure. Bookmark moments: 4:54 - Yami remembers being about 6 years old, and exploring with another young girl. 7:27 - She shares her timeline of growing up in the Dominican Republic before moving to the US. 9:16 - She’s a little obsessed with getting her period, though there’s no sex talk at home; she discovers masturbation on her own, then loses her virginity under pressure. 15:30 – Yami’s second sexual experience is also non-consensual; she is raped by an older family member. She withdraws from her friends, and a long period that follows is a blur. 29:00 - A couple years later, she is alone in a room with a guy for the first time and is finally able to feel safe. A serious boyfriend after that is able to conquer intimate touch with her, but he is a manipulator and a cheater. She gets an STI. 35:57 - After lots of hard experience, her current boyfriend totally pleases her. They have loads of great sex and have been exploring swinging and play partners. They’re now open to exploring polyamorous relationships even further, on an emotional and more dedicated level. 42:42 - Yami talks about sexual boundaries with other parties—how they’ve navigated them in the past, and what they might look like around potential future engagements. The Lowdown (46:41) Do you enjoy having your breasts played with? Can you orgasm from intercourse alone without additional stimulation? Do you prefer the orgasm from masturbating, or from sex with another person? What kind of touch do you enjoy most? How do you feel about your partner watching porn? The Patreon extras for this episode are: Yami talks more about dealing with chlamydia – getting the diagnosis, the treatment, and the after effects. Negotiating boundaries in new sexual situations, and how she and her boyfriend find a third person to play with (when there’s not a pandemic!) Extended Lowdown Q&A ALL audio extras are now FREE for everyone!!!!! They can be accessed at www.pat
Thu, October 22, 2020
Bookmark moments: 1:05 - You can say no at any point, even when you’re in the middle of it. Leah talks about how to do this in real life. 6:24 - Men are socialized to feel entitled to an ending once the sex has started. 7:33 - Leah shares a guide she created to help find words for navigating mid-sex consent: “Take a Breath.” 9:16 - The “Am I Normal?” phone line (720-GOOD-SEX) goes to anonymous voicemail. Call away! 12:00 - The Lowdown question is answered by a variety of women. 19:15 - Leah answers. She opens up about problematic recurring yeast infections in her youth, and recommends against putting garlic in your hoo-haa. 21:49 - In the name of truth-seeking, Leah makes an unusual Sunday afternoon request of her boyfriend. Resources mentioned: leahcarey.com/takeabreath - A worksheet to walk you through taking a pause in the middle of sex Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk AM I NORMAL? : Leave a message for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex RATE THIS POD : Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls BE A GUEST : Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest COACHING : Want to talk with Leah directly? Visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey ( website , Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Music – Nazar Rybak
Thu, October 15, 2020
Jocelyn is a full-service sex worker who’s seen many aspects of the industry, and who currently specializes in sexual healing and sexual surrogacy. Joslyn is a 37 year old, cisgender female who describes herself as white, pansexual, polyamorous, single and dating, and Canadian. She grew up in a Protestant Christian home. She describes her body as athletic with curves. How Healing Happens: Sex work can be a bridge to all levels of healing, from getting basic touch needs met to helping the body re-wire for safety after trauma to helping people with physical difficulties achieve sexual experiences at all. Bookmark moments: 5:04 - Jocelyn shares her first memory of sexual pleasure—kissing during after-school care with a boy she liked. 7:30 - There was no Sex Ed or discussion at home. She was raised by a single mom and she didn’t tell her when she got her period. 10:40 - Jocelyn opens up about experiencing emotional, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of her father. When she confronts him, he gets ugly. 20:42 - Jocelyn talks about her first consensual sexual experience with her long-term boyfriend at age 17. 22:37 - She shares an early pregnancy and abortion experience with the same boyfriend. 23:55 - She then has her first affair, with a beautiful man who has a tiny penis. Discussion follows about tiny penis taboo, and what men can do to pleasure a woman via other means. 31:13 - Friends keep asking Jocelyn to participate in threesomes. 34:05 - Sex work comes into her life during a time of financial struggle when she’s a single mom at age 29. 36:55 - Jocelyn shares her internal conflict about the stigma of sex work even while the money is great. She starts to withdraw from her friends. 39:37 - A friend introduces Jocelyn to “The Secret Diary of a Call Girl” in the context of her own sex worker fantasies, and it changes how Jocelyn relates to her profession. She begins to open up to the healing potential of her work. 48:48 - Jocelyn talks about what a surrogate can do in the context of healing sexual trauma. 50:10 - She gets into detail about being a sexual surrogate and her work with folks with disabilities, and tells us about one specific client. 1:02:42 - Jocelyn talks about her hard red lines, and how she communicates boundaries to clients. The audio extras for this episode are: Jocelyn’s first experience of penetration was not consensual and involves some physical trauma that may be too graphic for some listeners. Therefore I’ve placed it in this separate space so you can opt in to listening to it if you choose. Jocelyn shares how she initially gave consent, how it rapidly turned non-consensual, the processing she has done in the intervening years, and the feelings she now has about the man she was with that night. This is available to everyone, regard
Thu, October 08, 2020
Leah talks about a consent violation she experienced during medical care last year, and also shares her insights into her own fear around exercising. Bookmark moments: 1:52 - Leah begins by sharing about her quarantine weight gain, which led her to confront a lifetime’s worth of avoidance issues around exercise — and an insight into how that mirrors the effects a negative body image had on safety in her sex 3:52 - Leah shares a traumatic memory of assault at age 12 at the hands of her father. 6:55 - Built-in responses to trauma complicate our culture’s idea that pushing through weight loss difficulties is just about 11:05 - Early socialization and sexualization for those who grew up in girl bodies adds further trauma and mixed messaging. 13:35 - Leah talks about an experience of violation of consent during a visit to a new Boldly, she addresses it after the visit. Resources mentioned: Evelin Dacker’s Good Girls Talk About Sex episode – Stand up to medical consent violations - www.leahcarey.com/medicalconsent Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk HAVE A QUESTION? : Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex RATE THIS POD : Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls BE A GUEST : Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest COACHING : Want to talk with Leah directly? Visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey ( website , Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Music – Naz
Thu, October 01, 2020
Lynn shares her trauma history, and then opens up on a deep and detailed level about hiring a sex worker to save her marriage. Because no one in her family talked about sex or bodies, for much of her early life, she believed that her vagina was a fatal birth defect. Lynn is a 49-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as white, NOT straight, mostly monogamous, married, and peri-menopausal. She describes her body as "very average." How Healing Happens: Sex workers can play a critical role in sexual healing. It’s a safe space with clear boundaries, and without the emotional charge (or baggage) often built up with a partner. A sex worker can help you overcome resistance to pleasure, focus on sensation, and figure out what *does* feel good to your body. And some do work with couples. Bookmark moments: 4:25 - Lynn’s first memory of sexual pleasure occurs at age 9, with the accidental placement of a blanket between her legs on a hot summer night. Her surprise discovery leads to a serious misconception but she knows not to ask questions. 11:11 - She experiments with touching and kissing with her best friend, trying to figure things out with the benefit of sex ed. 17:56 - As her home life falls apart in her teens, Lynn falls prey to attention of older men. 24:14 - She leaves home at 16 and gets married, in order to escape things at home. Things are good at first, but when she gets pregnant, he gets violent. 34:48 - Lynn meets her second husband. He is wonderful and so is the sex, but life quickly throws a few wrenches into the works. 38:41 - The lack of sex in the marriage destroys their emotional bond. 41:49 - Lynn tells her husband he has permission to see a sex worker to get his needs met. He resists…at first. 45:42 - After some deep introspection, she suggests an alternate set of plans to her husband to celebrate their upcoming anniversary—involving Lynn visiting the sex worker. 53:30 - Lynn discovers her body is not, in fact, broken. 54:00 - They go to the sex worker together for their anniversary. Much unfolds from this and subsequent sessions with the sex worker. 1:03:30 - Lynn shares about the medical help and therapy she sought before turning to a sex worker, and her fears of social disapproval. The Patreon extras for this episode are: Lynn and I took a deeper dive into the nature of the relationships she was having with older men – was it predatory? Was it healthy? Is it possible that it could be some combination of both? Lynn and I talk about how, having had a history of violent homes, she managed to create a home without violence for her son. We also talk about how she approached the topic of sex with her son, and what her relationship with her body is – and how
Thu, September 24, 2020
Receiving oral sex isn’t just about a tongue on a clit – it’s about all the emotional and mental conversation happening at the same time. Bookmark moments: 6:13 - The women answer “Do you enjoy receiving oral sex?” 10:21 - Leah answers. She opens up about the relationship dynamics in which her first experience of receiving oral took place, and how that impacted subsequent relationships. 14:10 - Leah suggests a new technique to her second partner, which works, but he doesn’t stick to it. 16:10 - She shares how she’s working on staying present with the physical sensation when her current partner goes down, and tracing the history of her hindered state of responsiveness to oral sex back to that first partner. 20:24 - Am I Normal? A powerful, independent woman is confused by her desire to be dominated in the bedroom. 23:23 - Leah talks through common fantasies and the reasons why domination can feel so refreshing. 25:20 - Masochism is discussed. 27:00 - Podcast recommendation Extra Bits PSA: Hey. Not everybody likes pizza, either. Podcast recommendation: Biracial Unicorns with Dani and Dameca “Let’s Talk About Sex-ualization” episode - https://biracialunicorns.pinecast.co/episode/31f5a12674034660/let-s-talk-about-sex-ualization Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/biracialunicorns/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/biracialunicorns/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/Biracialmagic Resources mentioned: FREE DOWNLOAD - How to propose a new sexual adventure to your lover, leahcarey.com/newadventure . Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk AM I NORMAL? : Leave a message for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community supporter at www.patre
Thu, September 17, 2020
Jade opens up about the tension and difficulties in her past marriage, and the sexual dynamics of subtle pressure and coercion she experienced in the marriage and in her earlier dating. Maturity and emotional safety are at the core of her current partnership and it revolutionizes her sex life. She’s now in love with her girl parts! Jade is a 51-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as bisexual, monogamous, in a relationship, and the mother of 2 children who are still at home. She has had 2 miscarriages and still gets her period. She describes her body as slender. Countering Culture: Jade shares that although she knew her husband (at the time) never would have actually forced her into sex, she felt the pressure to satisfy his needs because she—along with most of the rest of us—grew up immersed in a culture that frames it as a “wifely duty” and bases a woman’s value (and therefore social safety) on being a “good” wife. Bookmark moments: 2:36 - Jade’s first memory of sexual pleasure is at age 10, having a sexual fantasy in a swim club sauna. 5:36 - Her first memory of masturbating is at age 13 while reading Clan of the Cave Bear (ironically given to her by her father), and then mounting her giant teddy bear. 10:21 - She meets her first boyfriend in high school; he’s a few years older. She assumes that love leads to marriage leads to sex, but she knows from her Catholic upbringing she’s not supposed to have sex out of wedlock. She and a friend find a bible and search through until they find what they interpret as permission. 15:09 – She experiences her first intense, magical state of turn-on with her second boyfriend. 17:07 - Jade shares how the relationship with her first college boyfriend leads her into subtle but uncomfortable sexual dynamics. 22:33 - Her first marriage hits tension early on. The birth of their first child adds both joy and more difficulty; her husband feels sexually frustrated, and she feels pressured. 27:52 - After ongoing and increased tension after their second child, she makes the decision to separate. They work on their issues and re-unite, but the relationship is still “messy.” 36:11 - Six months after leaving the marriage, much to her surprise, Jade starts having sexual feelings again. She re-enters the dating world and discovers some unmet emotional needs with her first post-divorce lover. After dating a few men, she meets her current partner and experiences a whole new level of sexuality. The Lowdown (42:46) Do you have sex during your period? What’s the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had? Are you generally more active or more passive during lovemaking? What’s your favorite part of your body? The Patreon extras for
Thu, September 10, 2020
We follow the oral sex question with a deep dive into swallowing ejaculate (or *not*.) We hear a wide variety of yes/no answers, but also yes/no conditions. Then Leah share her personal experience with blowjobs and the journey she took to make sure it was as good for her as it was for him. How Healing Happens: Little boys get just as much bad messaging as little girls do. Learning how to openly and safely communicate with your sexual partner can re-educate and heal you both. Bookmark moments: 1:49 – A chorus of women answer the question “Do you swallow?” 6:01 - Leah answers. She opens by sharing that in the pre-internet days, Cosmo was her primary source of information. 7:52 - The “If you love him, you swallow” rule and its fallout. 11:13 - Leah gives her first blowjob, and it’s disastrous for her afterwards. 13:03 - A new approach learned at a STARS class blows her mind. 16:25 - Leah and her partner try something new with blowjobs and it’s a win-win. 19:05 - Leah shares a listener email that offers an unusual perspective—a man’s response to the podcast. 24:47 - Podcast recommendation: When Women Speak by Sara Sanderson - https://whenwomenspeak.buzzsprout.com/1104935 The Emma Case interview - https://whenwomenspeak.buzzsprout.com/1104935/4128944-am-i-welcome-here-why-we-must-do-more-than-simply-say-everyone-is-welcome When Women Speak website - https://www.wwsgn.com/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/whenwomenspeakglobalnetwork/ Resources mentioned: The STARS episode - https://link.chtbl.com/STARS Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk AM I NORMAL? : Leave a message for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex
Thu, September 03, 2020
This week, 72-year-old Paulette gives us a window into growing up in a conservative time and culture, and how those tight-lipped and sexually discouraging tropes impacted her lifelong ability to experience pleasure. Paulette is a cisgender female. She describes herself as mixed Black/Latinx, heterosexual, monogamous, and post-menopausal. She describes her body as "thick." PSA: Restrictive beliefs can impact so many areas of life and pleasure. If something is confusing you and holding you back, ask, ask, ask for help. Bookmark moments: 2:52 - Paulette shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, kissing a boy at around age 8 and liking it. 7:45 - Growing up in an African-American and West Indian family, the expectation was that girls would not bring shame to their family. 8:50 - She got her period at elementary school unexpectedly, and up to that point had received no education about sex or reproductive bodily functions. Even afterwards there was little detail imparted. “Keep your legs closed, your skirt down. You’re a young lady now.” 14:50 - Paulette opens up about her love of foreplay and less-than-love of penetration and tells about an early love experience with only kissing. 19:08 - She loses her virginity around age 20, though she is still very nervous to have sex because of the intense shaming around pregnancy out of wedlock. 21:13 - Paulette has a pregnancy and miscarriage, which she thinks may have been caused by her intense fear of the pregnancy. She has another pregnancy later with the same fears, and decides to seek an abortion. She later adopts two children. 26:28 - She marries at age 35, and finds herself sexually unsatisfied and unable to work on it with her husband. 31:25 - Paulette diverts her energy to her kids, in the face of her lack of satisfaction in the marriage. 33:57 - The talk turns to masturbation; Paulette has never done it, and the repressive effects have lasted her lifetime. 37:14 - They discuss body image and being “thick.” Paulette consciously raised her boys to have the body comfort and confidence she didn’t. 43:30 - Paulette shares that sometimes she gets what feel like incorporeal nighttime visits. Her husband has passed away at this point, as has her first love. The Lowdown (47:30) What belief did you have about sex as a child or teenager that you wish you could correct her on now? (Follow up) Do you ever feel like there was a possibility of a breakthrough to enjoying it, or was it just something that did not seem available to you? The audio extras for this episode are: More about Paulette’s relationship with her first lover, and how it felt when they progressed from making out to penetrative sex; plus a longer look at Paulette’s marriage to her husband The extended Lowdown Q&A <p
Thu, August 13, 2020
A variety of women answer whether or not they enjoy giving oral sex; host Leah goes more in-depth about her own personal experiences and preferences, and about how to engage in, negotiate, and enjoy the act. Then, the discussion turns to navigating a polyamorous relationship for someone new to the practice. Extra Bits: PSA—Beware of performative standards (what you see in porn), and always feel free to negotiate the specifics of a sex act according to what is both comfortable and pleasurable for you—like, if you have a sensitive gag reflex, or don’t want ejaculate in your mouth. And on the flip side, positive feedback is important! Bookmark moments: 3:45 - Leah shares how her recent move with her partner into a two-bedroom apartment gives them the option to sleep solo, and why this is a good thing for the relationship and not a sign of deprivation or trouble. 5:41 - “Do you enjoy giving oral sex?” – the women answer. 12:51 - Leah answers: “I’m a bit agnostic about genitals.” 14:27 - Leah talks about her refusal to swallow ejaculate, and how she and her partner innovated around it. 17:01 - Her current partner communicates what he wants and likes, and guides her with positive feedback to hone in on what feels best that also feels good to her to provide. 18:05 - Leah discusses the myth of the home field advantage in oral sex. 21:17 - Am I Normal? – “Am I crazy to believe I might be ok with her sleeping with other people?” 22:14 – Leah answers: Is it possible for a mixed monogamous/polyamorous relationship to work? 28:09 – New podcast recommendation: Sistory Untold - join hosts Marva and Sabrina as they explore history through the eyes of sisterhood Website - https://www.sistoryuntold.com / Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/sistoryuntold/ Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/sistoryuntold/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/SistoryUntold Resources mentioned: Trustex Condoms – https://www.condomdepot.com/trustex-assorted-colors-non-lubricated/ (this is not an affiliate link) Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty FACEBOOK
Thu, August 06, 2020
Mel had plenty of boyfriends but had trouble being faithful. She has chosen ethical non-monogamy as a way of meeting her variety of relational and physical attractions and needs. Mel is a 55-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as very petite, polyamorous, and post-menopausal. Public Service Announcement: If you think monogamy is the vanilla prison for which there is no safe word, or find yourself cheating yet again to get your needs met, it may be time to think outside the box. Relationships—both romantic and play—can accommodate a variety of numbers, shapes, and parameters. For anything from regular group sex to family game night households, consider polyamory. Bookmark moments: 3:03 - Mel’s first memory of sexual pleasure is of rubbing against her pillow at age 7 when sent to her room for a “nap.” 8:55 - She started having sex at 14 with a boyfriend and had a great first experience. 12:31 - Mel talks about her first lesbian encounter with an older mystery rich woman. 14:13 - She describes how she is attracted to and attaches to women differently. 17:37 - Mel opens up about an abortion at 18. She got pregnant with a Swedish foreign exchange student. 19:02 - Mel tells “the story” from college, about the time she wrote a song for a disastrous first date with the future author of “He’s Just Not That Into You.” 22:18 - She talks about how her height (very petite) has affected her body image and confidence, the pressure to be thin growing up in the south, and about her shape fluctuations after motherhood. 28:35 - During grad school Mel was in a “friendly” relationship with good-but-boring sex and accidentally became a mother. 29:22 - She opens up about the fact that she has cheated in every past relationship, and what drove her. She talks about exploring the relationship model of ethical non-monogamy. 31:35 - Mel explains that she loses part of herself when she’s only with one person because she over-adjusts to the dedicated partnership. 37:35 - She talks about her current “triad” with a man and woman and two separate relationships with men. 45:32 - Menopause has been non-catastrophic for Mel! Resources mentioned: TV Show - “ Big Mouth ” on Netflix Book – The Ethical Slut Book – Sex At Dawn The Patreon extras for this episode are: Mel talks about how she responded to her parent’s divorce and to being anally raped The extended Q&A Book a PJ Party!!!
Thu, July 30, 2020
Leah asks the women’s she’s interviewed about their relationship status with their pubic hair. Then she shares her own story of growing up with a combination of a genetically inherited bountiful mound and a learned lady-like horror of the same. EXTRA BITS: What we learned: Once again we learned that the range *is* the norm. Women go from no hair at all, to all the hair there is. Even for one person, it varies by day, week, month, or major life event. Bookmark moments: 2:00 – Chorus of voices answering the question “Do you have hair down there, or are you bare? 11:30 - Leah answers, including seeing her mother’s body naked with full pubic hair, and witnessing her mother’s embarrassment and swimsuit discretions. 12:50 - In her teens, Leah discovers she’s grown her own big bush. 14:00 - Leah’s first boyfriend asks her to go bare. Then later, another one demands it. 17:32 - A boyfriend leaves it up to her, and it’s a blissful new world of comfort and self-determination. 20:10 – New podcast recommendation – Queersplaining by Callie Wright 26:12 – Info on PJ Parties! 28:08 – “Am I Normal?” This week’s caller asks if it’s normal to hate giving blow jobs. 28:30 – Leah discusses why some people dislike giving blow jobs, why that’s okay, and a couple of options for hating it less if you choose to go forward. Podcast recommendation: Queersplaining by Callie Wright - http://www.queersplaining.com Don’t forget to shave episode - http://www.queersplaining.com/2020/04/30/dont-forget-shave/ Slaying Dragons episode - https://www.queersplaining.com/2020/02/27/slaying-dragons/ Find Callie on Twitter at @ queersplaining and @ calliegetsit Resources mentioned: Trustex Condoms – https://www.condomdepot.com/trustex-assorted-colors-non-lubricated/ (this is not an affiliate link) STARS episode – https://link.chtbl.com/STARS Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty FACEBOOK GROUP: www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk AM I NORMAL?: Leave a message for Leah at 720-GOOD-S
Thu, July 23, 2020
Heather grew up assuming she would marry a man and have children. So she did. But sex was never a good experience. Then she had sex with a woman for the first time, and her life was changed forever. Today she lives with her female partner and co-parents her four daughters with her former husband. She opens up about her early sexual journey through the lens of parenthood, and what she wants for her daughters compared to what she experienced. Heather is a 45-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as lesbian, monogamous, peri-menopausal, and in a long-term domestic partnership. She has four daughters, ages 6 to 15, and describes her body as “a little pudgy”. Bookmark moments: 2:22 - Heather’s first memory of sexual pleasure is at age five, discovering it felt good when the bath water hit “down there”; this opens up the topic of talking to one’s children about masturbation. 11:00 - Heather’s loss of virginity as a teenager under less-than-great circumstances brings up the issues of consent and assault. 16:19 - Heather and Leah talk about the confusion girls feel, often before they realize they are lesbian, around noticing female beauty because our culture teaches us early on to sexualize women. 26:08 - The talk turns to body image, and Heather shares that she had a breast reduction at age 15 which helped her comfort and confidence. 31:00 - Heather meets her ex-husband at 26. The sex was “vanilla” and “hopefully quick.” 33:00 - Heather meets a woman she’s wildly attracted to, and has a hot 2-week affair with her. 35:57 - She and her husband experiment sexually with a lesbian couple. Complications ensue. 38:00 - After divorcing, Heather accidentally “outs” herself on Facebook with her new partner. The Lowdown (41:30) Do you have sex during your period? What is the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had? Do you prefer clit stimulation or penetration? Can you orgasm from penetration alone? Do you use hands, or strap-ons? What is your favorite way to orgasm during sex? Extra Bits: Parental PSA: “I actually told my kids, you need to test this shit out. Do not marry somebody you haven’t had sex with. That is a terrible idea.” The Patreon extras for this episode are FREE for everyone: How Heather talks about sex with her daughters – and why she thinks Gilmore Girls is a great teaching tool! The Extended Lowdown Q&A Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty FACEBOOK GROUP: www.f
Thu, July 16, 2020
Leah tackles the hierarchy of orgasms—and getting there at all. This week women respond to whether they prefer clit or vaginal stimulation, which opens up a penetrating (see what we did there?!) discussion about preferences. Sex Ed For Adults: “You are the only one who knows what’s right for your genitals.” As long as what’s under consideration is consensual, pretty much everything else falls on a scale from “I desire it” to “I don’t desire it.” There is no norm within that scale—the scale IS the norm. You can be anywhere on it, and still be “normal.” It’s a matter of your (and your body’s) preference, and you alone are the interpreter and boss. Trust yourself and your body. Bookmarks for this episode: 3:00 - Leah discusses the false hierarchy of orgasms: having a clit orgasm vs vaginal orgasm vs g-spot orgasm. 5:03 - Chorus of voices answering the question “Do you prefer clit stimulation or vaginal penetration?” 9:37 - Leah answers the question and discusses the mechanics of penetration with regard to differences in everyone’s body, and how bodies fit together. 11:45 - Leah discusses difficulties in reaching orgasm due to medication, and myths about using vibrators. 20:22 – “Am I Normal?” This week’s caller asks if it’s okay that she doesn’t like receiving oral sex. 23:20 - Leah discusses worries about the taste and smell of our lady parts. New podcast recommendation (25:15): “Speak From The Body” by Avni Trivedi Excerpted episode - Craving Touch Whilst Isolating Find Avni at www.avni-touch.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/avnitouch Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/avnitouch Twitter: https://twitter.com/avnitouch FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk AM I NORMAL? : Leave a message for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex RATE THIS POD : Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls BE A GUEST</stron
Thu, July 09, 2020
Stacey grew up aware of and comfortable with her own pleasure from an early age. She has a daughter and is twice divorced. She’s had a rich sex life, and now finds happiness, satisfaction, and opportunity for personal growth in open relationships. Stacey is a 45-year-old, cis-gender female, who describes herself as Black, heterosexual, and non-monogamous. She is currently single and open to exploring a relationship with a “primary partner.” This is a re-broadcast of episode 5. Public Service Announcements: How to be multi-orgasmic, step 1: Pay attention to what is happening and where. “My whole thing is staying in the room.” How Healing Happens: Stacey has a moment of deep personal growth when she realizes that the anger she was able to openly display to her mom was misplaced anger she was really feeling towards her emotionally unavailable father: “Love makes us feel safe enough to be horrible.” OVERVIEW Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 4:58 - Her first memory of sexual desire, at about age 6, is of playing with a “male” doll and rubbing its hand on her vulva. 6:35 - Stacey shares early childhood memories of making out with girls, imitating intimacy as she sees in families on TV, and low-level sexually exploring for pleasure with a male cousin. She knows enough to keep these secrets from grownups. 10:18 - She talks about her first make-out as a teen. 11:38 - Pleasure dynamic in sexual explorations and experiences is focused on herself even from the start. 12:10 - She tells the story of losing her virginity. 14:00 - Stacey tells her mom she’s had sex. 16:30 - She associates the ability/need to communicate with feelings around intimacy, and notes the difference between physical intimacy and sexual intimacy. 20:10 - Stacey realizes she’s been able to work through anger by directing it at her mother, because her mother was emotionally available for it. 26:50 - Stacey embraces being comfortable with sexuality with her own daughter, and talks about the positive energetic impact of good sex. 28:00 - Stacey opens up about her first “real” boyfriend, the distinction being that it was “reciprocal.” 28:43 - She meets her first husband. 31:35 - She currently practices ethical non-monogamy, but shares how non-monogamy was more like cheating with earlier relationships and marriages. She also shares what it looks like with her current lovers. 40:42 - Stacey and Leah discuss orgasms, and ways to be multi-orgasmic. The Lowdown (39:40) Approximate number of partners? Favorite sex position? Favorite sex toy? Sex during your period? Do you have hair down there, or are you bare? Do you have single orgasms or are you multi-orgasmic? Do you swallow or not? How much noi
Thu, July 02, 2020
Leah has asked many of her interviewees how many sexual partners they’ve had. The answers, in their surprisingly wide variety, show that there is no “normal.” This also opens up a discussion about what “counts” as sex. Here’s a Thought: Your sexual desires don’t always overlap with your romantic relationship preferences. You can be attracted to and visually stimulated by both men and women, but maybe you only want to engage in long-term committed partnerships with men—or vice versa. Bookmarks for this episode: 6:38 – Chorus of voices answering “How many people have you had sex with?” 10:33 - Leah gives her “number” and discusses what “sex” means. 16:00 - “Am I Normal?” This week’s caller asks if being attracted to women means her heterosexual marriage is over. 21:55 - When *not* to ask your husband for a threesome. 23:40 - Our sexual desires and our relationship styles don’t always match up. "Pimp That Pod" recommendation: The Change Over by Alanna Sparrow Highlighted episode - White Privilege v. Black Punishment Resources mentioned: Literotica is an online collection of user-submitted erotic fiction and fantasy. You can find stories of all types at https://www.literotica.com/stories/ . For stories specifically about lesbian sex, go to https://www.literotica.com/c/lesbian-sex-stories . You can search for any other topic that might be of interest at https://tags.literotica.com/ . Please be aware that many pages will have sexy pictures and/or ads for porn sites. You do not need to click on any of these to use the site. Feminist porn – Watching explicit sexual acts can help you understand what turns you on, however most of the available porn is focused on male satisfaction and neglects the woman’s pleasure. Feminist porn directors create explicit material in a way that’s not objectifying or degrading to women. The following are a selection of directors and websites. PLEASE PAY FOR YOUR PORN! Erika Lust is one of the most well-known feminist porn creators. pinklabel.tv brightdesire.com AbbyWinters.com CrashPadSeries.com
Thu, June 25, 2020
Jessica is one of so many women who have been told, “You have such a pretty face, if you could only lose 50 pounds…” During her teenage years, she allowed that to define her perception of herself. Then, at the end of high school, she discovered that there were cute clothes that fit her body and she could show off her curves and get attention. And that’s just the beginning of the story! Jessica is a 38-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as white, bisexual, monogamous, and married to a man. She grew up in the United States, has one child, and calls her body curvy and plus size. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 3:35 – Jessica’s first memory of sexual pleasure is from the bathtub 7:00 - She discovers masturbation around age 10, and checks out a book on sexuality from the library. 9:30 – Jessica’s school lacked any helpful sex education — they only discussed physical secondary sex characteristics and periods. 12:05 - Experimenting with kissing boys but not having boyfriends early on, she developed physically ahead of her classmates and noticed the differences 14:30 - She loses her virginity to a guy she barely knows in an unremarkable and vaguely humiliating way 15:30 - After losing her virginity, she avoids dating/interaction for a year 19:03 - Her attraction to women and her first dating relationship with a woman 20:10 - Being told by her own father to lose weight, being bribed to lose weight, and dressing in baggy men’s clothes to hide her body. Eventually, she finds clothes in her size and begins to show her curves 22:00 - Using sex to gain attention from men 24:30 - Meeting her husband and how he was different from other men she’d dated 26:33 - The power she felt when she was able to seduce men while being promiscuous in her 20’s, and how it may have been a response to the powerlessness she felt when she lost her virginity. It was emotionally unfulfilling but she felt good about her body and her sexual power. 31:00 - A non-consensual experience during a BDSM scene, and later realizing it was rape 34:00 – Leah talks does some myth-busting around dom/sub (BDSM) relationships and assault. 37:30 – Jessica’s sexual relationship with her husband, how she is the more experienced partner and has taught him how to please her The Lowdown (42:15) What do you consider to be the kinkiest thing you enjoy? Is there something you fantasize about but have never asked for in real life? The Patreon extras for this episode are: Available FOR ALL - How to talk to her husband about making sex last longer without hurting his feelings $7/month - Extended Lowdown Q&A FA
Thu, June 18, 2020
In this episode, Leah begins answering the Lowdown questions – with a twist! To date, she has done well over 60 interviews, most of which have included an in-depth Q&A. As she answers each Lowdown question, you’ll hear a chorus of voices answering the same question. The goal is to remind you, once again, that no matter what your answer is, you are completely normal and you are not alone. In the second half of the show, she answers an “Am I normal?” question about feeling attractive after major surgery. 2:00 – Chorus of voices answering “Do you have sex during your period?” 8:30 – Leah answers the question “Do I have sex during my period?” 8:50 - Leah talks about her earliest shame/trauma experience around menstruation, being lectured by her dad in a way that made her feel overwhelmed, invaded, and disgusted. 10:30 - When Leah gets her first period at age 12, she ignores it. Her mom discovers evidence in the laundry. 12:00 - In her 30’s, she has her first experience with a partner wanting to proceed with sex while she is on her period. He’s fine with it. But the sight of her blood on his fingers nearly breaks her. 12:55 - She occasionally will have sex while on her period with her current partner, even though she still experiences shame and emotional discomfort. 14:03 – Am I normal? question – how can I have sex and feel attractive after major surgery? 14:55 - Leah talks about our culture’s ideal body type, how we are harmfully held against a specific and limited standard, and how our belief that we are lovable is tied to that standard. 16:34 - Going to a nude sex resort helped Leah see that all types of bodies are sexually attractive to someone. 17:58 - Leah directs the audience to Instagram to see bodies with colostomy bags, in wheelchairs, and after breast cancer normalized. 19:13 - Leah talks about “body neutrality.” Check out some of these Instagram accounts to see a variety of bodies enjoying life: Normalizing ostomies: https://www.instagram.com/ann_liseeva/ https://www.instagram.com/ostomydiaries/ Love and vacations in a wheelchair: https://www.instagram.com/naomifernandez__/ Life after breast cancer: https://www.instagram.com/laureneliseox/ Fat yoga / Curvy girl yoga: https://www.instagram.com/journey2antoinette/ https://www.instagram.com/thiscurviyogi/ https://www.instagram.
Thu, June 11, 2020
Melissa experienced childhood sexual abuse and is dealing with its long-term impacts. She has a complicated pleasure response and is working on reframing how she views sex after abuse. Melissa is a 40-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as Latina, heterosexual, monogamous, married with 3 boys. She grew up in the United States and currently lives with her family in Australia. Public Service Announcements: Sex is not just about the male partner’s ejaculation, and the male partner’s ejaculation is not your job! For more on this, listen to our conversation at 42:05. How Healing Happens: After childhood sexual abuse, Melissa is determined to keep unpacking her experiences and shaping a sex life that feels like actual fun. She knows she is blessed with a good partner. She’s sought therapy, and pays attention. She just plain wants better. The search for real joy has become her driving force. “I’m all about breaking generational issues! That’s just me!” Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 4:15 - Her first memory of sexual pleasure at 16 and having a moment alone that felt differently and purely “good.” 5:50 - Melissa reveals that she experienced childhood trauma around sex. 9:00 - Sex ed (in the 90’s) was mostly watching old (70’s/80’s) videos in school which were biologically oriented. She received a lot of negative messaging around sex—from parents about pregnancy, from her childhood abuse. 15:40 - The repressive effects of growing up Catholic and of childhood sexual trauma continue into college. 17:00 - Her first relationship is with the man who later became her husband; she met him at age 17 in college. 18:10 - She didn’t have sex with her boyfriend initially but the activities they did remind her of something wrong. 18:50 - Melissa describes what it’s like to be energetically divided within the sexual experience by past trauma—part of the brain being devoted to assuring herself she’s safe, and only whatever is left can experience the pleasure. 20:00 - Her boyfriend/husband is the first person she opened up to about the abuse and he suggested getting therapy. 22:50 - She had sex for the first time with her boyfriend (now-husband) 2 years into their relationship. 25:25 - She describes in detail what the body detachment from pleasure was like to experience, and it turns out this is a common trauma response. Also that she performed the acts to please him, not herself. 26:40 - Leah talks about autonomic responses, with or without the experience of actual pleasure. 28:00 - Leah talks about how little girls are socialized into the habit of taking care of others and performing pleasure. 32:50 - Melissa reconciles “ordinary” behaviors with her trauma behaviors, and through trust in her husband she’s able to try new things and through
Thu, June 04, 2020
This week we put aside the regular episode to feature the stories and voices of women and non-binary folx of color. The first half of the show calls back to clips from previous Good Girls Talk About Sex interviews: 2:01 – Jazz from the episode “ Vibrators changed my life ” 7:12 – Tenisha from the episode “ I had to get drunk to have sex ” 9:59 – Shana from the episode “ It was never: I’m ready, let’s do this ” 12:58 – Maya from the episode “ The worse I felt, the more sex I had ” 15:49 – Michelle from the episode “ A throbbing in my nether regions ” The second half of the show features excerpts from podcasts created and hosted by women of color that I think you may enjoy: 24:36 – “ A Consequence of Being The Strong One ” from Courage Hackers with Nesha Frazier 26:28 – “ When Brands Are Silent, We Stop Supporting ” from Brown Girl Self-Care with Bre Mitchell 29:55 – Podcast trailer from So-Called Oreos with Kia, Janae, Rachel and Amari 32:15 – Introductory episode from The Way Thru with Raven Delana Other recommendations are: The Sexually Liberated Woman with Ev’Yan Whitney Dear White Women with Sara a
Thu, May 28, 2020
Maya was born in the Sudan and came to the United States at age 6. She shares the frustrations she’s had around religion and how it affected her sexuality, the way she used sex in her early life to fill an emotional void, and the pleasure she has finally found with her husband. Maya is a 30-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as mixed race (black and white), heteroflexible, married, monogamous with the possibility of some monogamish play, with a young daughter. She was born in the Sudan and came to the United States at age 6. She was brought up Muslim and describes her body as tall and thicc. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 2:40 – As a girl, Maya thought sexuality was perverted and made fun of it with friends 6:00 - Growing up in an Islamic household where sex was a sin, and she wasn’t allowed to date 8:30 - Maya describes being chaperoned by her mom on a date to the movies (but her brother was allowed to date without chaperone) 10:52 - Losing her virginity at 19 to a senior in college 16:45 - Her “first love” was a typical bad boy. 20:00 – The way Maya used sex during a deep depression – needing the attention to feel desired and feel better about herself. 22:30 – A boss who paid her for sexy play 25:50 – The impact Osho’s book “Sex Matters” had on her view of sex and religion 27:44 - How her appearance (being tall and “thicc”) differs in desirability/impact on black vs white men—and how she only dates black men. 29:37 - Her husband is the first person she’s with who prioritizes her pleasure and it’s disconcerting. 31:31 – Contemplating a threesome with her husband and another woman, and the nerves she has about the idea 34:40 – The reasons sex has slowed down since Maya married her husband – not just having a child, but also their deep beliefs about sex and the role it should have in marriage The Lowdown (37:27) What belief did you have about sex as a child or a young woman that you wish you could correct her on now? A lot of people are under financial strain right now, so I’m making all the Patreon extras available for free to everyone. Thank you to community members who continue to show your support through this hard time. The Patreon extras for this episode are: A deeper dive into Maya’s experience of depression, and how losing her identity as an athlete in college was a big driver Maya talks more about her “lesbian phase” The extended Lowdown Q&A Resources mentioned: “Sex Matters” by Osho - Osho is a complicated figure – he is still revered by some for his insights into sexual energy and relaxing attitudes toward human sexuality. However he has also been acc
Thu, May 21, 2020
In part 4 of my conversation with Jessi Kneeland, we talk about how I ended up doing a six month solo road trip around the country in my car, and talk about the sexual healing I never expected to find while on the road. In “Am I normal?” we talk about female lubrication – is there such a thing as too much? Thanks to Jessi for interviewing ME! She is an amazing body image coach and I highly recommend following her on Instagram and signing up for her weekly #TransparentTuesday emails . Here are some time markers for this episode: 3:09 – Conversation with Jessi 28:47 – AM I NORMAL? question – Is it normal that I get so “wet” that I don’t feel much during sex? What can I do about it? 29:43 - Leah’s answer – Myth busting about female lubrication, and suggestions for dealing with both excessive lubrication and vaginal dryness Resources mentioned: COVID Confidential video series – https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZPyfFHzvbHbuFG5oAIO5N3-ymiZHqgYy The Savage Lovecast – https://www.savagelovecast.com/ Leah’s favorite lube – https://youtu.be/i_Ok69EI-ks Intimina KegelSmart – https://www.intimina.com/kegel-smart The Womanizer - https://www.womanizer.com/ FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk CALL-IN : Want to leave a message for Leah? Call 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex RATE THIS POD : Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls BE A GUEST : Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest COACHING</st
Thu, May 14, 2020
Lois carried shame into her adulthood due to childhood sexual abuse. As an adult, she found healing and had wonderful sex with her current husband, which has dwindled as they’ve gotten older. She talks about her how the abuse affected her relationship with her body and sex, participating in “free love” during the 60s, and her relationship with sex as she has gotten older. Lois is a 70-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as mostly white, straight, married for 38 years, monogamous, and post-menopausal. She has three grown children. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 4:29 – Lois talks about being abused as a child 9:20 – Lois’ mother witnessed the abuse and didn’t stop it 10:05 – Lois’ experience of sexual shame in the aftermath of the abuse 12:45 – Her early consensual sexual experiences, and feelings of extreme guilt. 15:00 – The pleasure response that can happen even during abuse 17:15 – Coming of age sexually in the mid-1960s and her first consensual sexual relationship. 22:50 – The Summer of Love 27:20 – Meeting her first husband at age 24 29:00 S- Making sure she received pleasure during sex 31:30 – How the abuse affected her feelings about her body, and hating her body as a sexual vessel 34:13 – Experiencing love at first sight with her second husband 35:10 – Telling her husband about her abuse background after a triggering event at work 38:51 – Having a great sex life in her 40s 39:40 – Going through early menopause after a hysterectomy and the dwindling of their sex life The Lowdown (43:37) What is your relationship with your body like today? How long ago did you stop having regular sex? Is there anything that you fantasized about that you didn’t have a chance to try? The Patreon extras for this episode are: $5/mo – How her own experience of childhood sexual abuse affected Lois’ communication with her children about sex. $7/mo – Extended Q&A FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk CALL-IN : Want to leave a message for Leah? Call 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex RATE THIS POD : Leave a rating and review at ww
Thu, May 07, 2020
In part 3 of my conversation with Jessi Kneeland, we talk about how I learned the difference between sensual and sexual touch, learning how to determine and voice my boundaries, and my ongoing battle with body image issues. Thanks to Jessi for interviewing ME! She is an amazing body image coach and I highly recommend following her on Instagram and signing up for her weekly #TransparentTuesday emails . 3:05 – Conversation with Jessi 23:36 – Preview of “COVID Confidential: Behind closed doors” video series 26:39 – AM I NORMAL? question – Is it normal that my libido is higher than my male partner’s? 27:00 – Leah’s answer – Myth busting about sex drive/libido, and a discussion of the spectrum of sexual desire “COVID Confidential” YOUTUBE SERIES: www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk CALL-IN : Want to leave a message for Leah? Call 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex RATE THIS POD : Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls BE A GUEST : Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest COACHING : Want to talk with Leah directly? Visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey ( website , Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Music – Nazar Rybak
Thu, April 30, 2020
As a child, Cathy experienced extended molestation, which caused her to dissociate from her body and feel huge shame about her body. As she grew older, she also gained weight, which left her feeling like no one would ever want her. In this interview we talk about those early experiences, plus the healing she has done and why she now feels passionate about helping others know that they are lovable and acceptable just as they are. Cathy is a 52-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as white, pansexual, polyamorous, and single with playmates. She describes her body as “round.” She is the founder of The Intimacy Dojo, which you can find at www.theintimacydojo.com . Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 3:37 - Her first memory of sexual pleasure is confusing because she experienced pleasure around age 5 while being abused. The abuse was also confusing because it filled a need for touch and connection. 7:15 - The body can respond autonomically to unwanted stimulation, which is confusing and can cause long-term emotional impact. 7:45 - Cathy talks about how her fantasies to achieve pleasure were impacted by the childhood abuse and by growing up on a farm. 11:00 - The abuse stopped around age 11 as her body developed, causing a new set of body issues (thinking she is no longer desirable in a more developed, larger, womanly body) and she feels shame about her body. 14:50 – Cathy associated feeling the pleasure of an orgasm with guilt, even as she masturbated frequently in her early teens. 15:45 - Her first boyfriend in college – they were able to explore with each other and he later came out as gay. 20:00 - Her first experience with a woman was exciting because the power dynamics were different than with a man. She was convinced that she was a lesbian. 25:00 - Further evidence of early abuse impact, when she crushes on a particular girl and ends up initiating a sexual experience with her, she assumes that she herself is the corrupting influence on the other innocent woman—there’s something wrong with her innate desires, and that she’s leading the other down a bad path. 28:00 - the body shame associated with living in a larger body. 30:00 - Cathy and Leah share their experiences of how confusing it is when you believe you are not desirable, yet other people express their attraction to you. 36:00 - The discussion turns to healing around body image issues and embracing pleasure in any size and shape. 43:00 - Cathy talks about her own efforts to break the stereotype that only thin people are worthwhile and sexually desirable, and her return to dating as a “big” woman. 47:00 - She’s taking a break from dating to focus on personal transitions and personal growth. 48:51 - Getting needs and touch nee
Thu, April 23, 2020
In part 2 of my conversation with Jessi Kneeland, we talk about working through the messaging I received as a child about my body and sexuality, learning to say “no”, and how women protect men’s feelings during heterosexual sex. Thanks to Jessi for interviewing ME! She is an amazing body image coach and I highly recommend following her on Instagram and signing up for her weekly #TransparentTuesday emails . 3:20 – Being assaulted by my dad, but not believing it was sexual because his hands didn’t get under my clothing 6:07 – Confronting my father about the assault 8:49 – Silencing and gaslighting 9:41 – Detangling violence and sexuality in my brain 14:26 – Learning what consent actually means 16:45 – Learning to say “no” so that I could have a real, strong “yes” 18:20 – Protecting men’s feelings during heterosexual sex 19:24 – The body image work I’ve done 21:30 – Conversations I heard about my mother’s body and how that affected my own body image 23:45 – What it’s like to carry conflicting beliefs about myself 25:43 – AM I NORMAL? question – Is it normal that I have no sex drive during quarantine? 26:04 – Leah’s answer – YES! How stress affects our libido and our touch need FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk CALL-IN : Want to leave a message for Leah? Call 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex RATE THIS POD : Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls BE A GUEST : Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest COACHING : Want to talk with Leah directly? Visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey ( website , Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Musi
Thu, April 16, 2020
Julia and her partner have agreed to a certain amount of openness in their relationship – openness that they haven’t taken advantage of yet. But their conversations on the topic – and Julia’s clear-headed consideration of the potential pitfalls – provide an amazing example for anyone who is considering opening this door with their partner. In fact, it’s so good that I think it should be required listening! Julia is a dear friend and I love how deeply she thinks about how we can all be better to ourselves and each other. Julia Sheldon is a 30-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as white, queer, and monogamish. She grew up in Canada and still lives there with her male partner. You can find her on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/juliasheldon.sex.ed Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 3:10 - Her first memory of sexual pleasure, making out and dry humping with friends of both genders. They knew to hide the activity. 11:25 - Masturbating with toys and vibrators. 14:20 - Her first conscious sexual interaction with a boy, at a youth church event. She flirted and made out and then didn’t want to date him. 16:20 - She realizes that anxiety makes her not want to date the boys she was making out with. 19:20 – Peer pressure in college to get laid, even though she’s not ready. 21:20 - The first sexual relationship is with someone she knew and had a friendship with. It turned into a 2-year long distance relationship. 25:48 - She realized she likes women too. 28:00 - She discusses what “queer” means to her. 29:35 - She hasn’t had a sexual relationship with a woman yet but makes sure those she dates know she’s queer. 30:30 - She has the discussion with her partner about her desire/need to be able to sexually explore with other people of both genders that she’s interested in; establishing ground rules. 39:00 - Talking about what it will actually be like when play with an outside partner happens, on either end, getting needs met, and emotional processing. The Lowdown (40:30) What’s the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had? Do you prefer clit stimulation or penetration? Do you prefer the orgasm from masturbating or from sex with another person? What kind of touch do you enjoy most? The Patreon extras for this episode are: $1/mo – Dealing with low libido $5/mo – Sex education in Canada and her exposure to info about sex as a kid $7/mo – Extended Q&A FACEBOOK GROUP: www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk CALL-IN: Want to leave a message for Leah? Call 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON: Become a community supporter at <
Thu, April 09, 2020
Good Girls Talk About Sex is now a weekly show! Every other week you’ll get these shorter solo episodes where I tell bits of my story and answer YOUR questions about sex and sexuality. Thanks to Jessi Kneeland for interviewing ME! She is an amazing body image coach and I highly recommend following her on Instagram and signing up for her weekly #TransparentTuesday emails . Here are some time markers for this episode: 4:57 – Jessi Kneeland interviews Leah 5:42 – Leah’s first memory of sexual pleasure, including a significant kink interest 11:15 – Looking at her father’s adult magazines that she wasn’t prepared to handle as a child 12:55 – Jessi and Leah reminisce about both reading “Clan of the Cave Bear” at ages 10 or 11 16:00 – Leah’s sexual confusion in her early 30s 17:30 – What did Leah learn about what sex was “supposed to” be like as a kid? 19:00 – Leah’s dad’s message to her about getting “fat and ugly” 20:30 – The way Leah conflated sexuality and assault in her head 22:35 – AM I NORMAL? Introduction 24:35 – Listener question – Is it normal to fantasize about my partner cheating on me? 25:00 – Leah’s answer – This is a fetish referred to as being “cuckolded,” and it’s more common than you would think! 27:39 - Ways to indulge the cuckolding fantasy without fully acting it out and having your partner sleep with another person Resources mentioned: www.literotica.com – stories about all sorts of sexual acts and fantasies FACEBOOK GROUP : www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk CALL-IN : Want to leave a message for Leah? Call 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) PATREON : Become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex RATE THIS POD : Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls BE A GUEST : Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest COACHING : Want to talk with Leah directly? Visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey (<a href= "http://www.leahcarey.com" target="_blank" rel= "noopene
Thu, April 02, 2020
Jillian offers us a glimpse into a story that I am intimately familiar with. It’s the story of having huge blank spots in your memory along with an aversion to sex. There’s nothing specific to grab on to so you can say, “This is what happened,” but it’s obvious that something happened. I usually sit back and let the guests tell their story, but in this instance, Jillian is actively searching for answers and for healing. So in this episode, you’ll hear us doing a bit of exploration and coaching. I offer her a couple of exercises. If her story mirrors your own, you may want to try these exercises as well. Or send me an email and I’ll be happy to offer you some other resources. Jillian says in this interview that she wanted to share her story so that anyone else out there going through something similar will know that they’re not alone. And I echo that. If you listen to this podcast because you have difficulty with sex and are looking for a way forward, you are not alone. You are welcome here. And I will be happy to talk with you whenever you are ready. Jillian is a 49-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous and married. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 6:25 - Jillian is unable to remember her first experience of sexual pleasure and still doesn’t feel pleasure. 7:50 – When a boy in kindergarten touched her 9:10 – Jillian has memory gaps, though she has narrowed it down to ages 5-8 where “something” happened that caused her fear of and aversion to sexual touch 11:20 - She starts therapy at the request of her husband after an intense outburst of seemingly displaced trauma response. 12:20 - She tries hypnosis to access memory. She also asks her mother for information about her childhood and is shut down. 16:45 - She meets her future husband to whom she is attracted and despite/because of fear/aversion moves very quickly into sex. 17:40 - Leah talks about impact of being sexualized at a young age, affecting one’s ability to determine readiness and how it should fit into a relationship. 20:00 - She talks about the emotional energy it takes to not only fake enjoying sex, but to fake feeling happy or content. 21:20 - Her husband intuits she’s acting like everything is ok when it’s not. 22:40 - Where her mind goes during sex—fantasy, and sometimes about not being treated well. Or just being anxious to get the sex act over with while thinking she owes him pleasure, doing it for his sake. (**Follow up of how BDSM and ravishment play can be therapeutic.) 30:12 - Pregnancy and childbirth bring up new fears and aversions, particularly around breastfeeding. 31:45 - She finds faith and prayer to be a better and more effective tack at present than therapy for resolving trauma and pain. 33:15 - She still does not enjoy sex but can
Thu, March 19, 2020
Voluptuous Leah is a plus-size model and Instagram influencer. At the time this episode is released, she has over 166,000 followers and she regularly posts photos of herself, her adorable dog Luna, cute plus-size fashion, and plus-size lingerie. You can find her on Instagram at Voluptuous Leah and her website at www.VoluptuousLeah.com Voluptuous Leah is a 31-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, plus-size, and in a new relationship while going through a divorce from her previous husband. The major theme in this episode is sex as a plus-sized women. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 6:40 – Leah’s first memory of sexual pleasure 9:00 – How she broke her ankle because she was looking at a boy that she had a crush with 12:15 - Her relationship with her ex-husband and how he fetishized her larger body 14:45 – Her new relationship and how he interacts with her and her body The Lowdown – (15:20): Do you have sex during your period? What’s the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had? Do you prefer clit stimulation or penetration? Do you think it’s generally easy or challenging for you to orgasm? Have you ever faked an orgasm? What’s your favorite way to orgasm during sex? Do you need to make accommodations for sex in a larger body? Do you prefer the orgasm from masturbating or sex with another person? Can you orgasm from penetration alone without clit stimulation? What kind of touch do you enjoy most? What are your hard red lines? Are there sexual things you’ve tried that you never want to do again? How do you feel about your partner masturbating without you in the room? How do you feel about your partner watching porn? Do you have hair down there or are you bare? Have you ever had a threesome? Do you enjoy giving blow jobs? Do you enjoy receiving oral sex? Do you ever worry about your smell or taste? How do you feel about ass play? Do you enjoy dirty talk during sexual encounters? Do you enjoy laughter during sexual encounters? Have you ever felt a sexual urge that confused you? What’s your favorite part of your body? What’s your least favorite part of your body? What is something about your current sex life that isn’t quite as satisfying as you’d like it to be? What beliefs did you have about sex as a child or teenager that you wish you could correct her on now? More links from this episode: <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Curvy-Girl-Sex-Body-Positive-Positions/dp/15923
Fri, March 06, 2020
Part 2 of our conversation with Brianna! Today she details her recent entrance into the swinger lifestyle with her husband. She spares no details about how they discovered their mutual interest in swinging, their early conversations, and their first experiences. She talks about the state of their relationship and how swinging has affected it, her feelings about monogamy, jealousy, and so much more. If you’ve ever wondered about swinging – DON’T MISS THIS CONVERSATION! Brianna is a 30-year-old cis-gender female who describes herself as white, bisexual, married, monogamish, Baptist, and exploring swinging for the first time. She and her husband have two young children. Major themes in this episode include exploring swinging. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 4:00 - opening lines of communication with her husband, revealing fantasies 5:25 - arriving at the Desire resort 5:55 - body insecurity after childbearing 7:00 - experiencing role reversal with wild husband being shy, her being wild when free of rules 9:00 - meeting swingers and becoming open to the idea 10:00 - going to their first swingers club at home 11:00 - meeting the first couple they felt compatible with 13:50 - starting a 4-way chat between the couples 15:00 – a “soft swap” between the spouses for oral play 16:30 – continued conversation about safety and consent 19:40 – where they are in terms of doing a full swap 24:20 - the lack of male/male interaction in swinging 25:50 – the issues that have come up around trust and feeling like she’s not enough 28:30 – her emotional processing after encounters 30:55 - the moments that spark jealousy aren’t the sexual ones 33:30 – discussing emotional monogamy 38:30 - maintaining marital sex life after children 39:20 - reconciling swinger sexual activity with church community/mindset The Patreon extras for this episode are: The extended Lowdown Q&A for ALL supporters at ALL levels! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex. If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit <a href= "http://www.leahcarey.com/coaching" target="_blank" rel= "noop
Thu, March 05, 2020
(Part 1 of a 2-part episode) Brianna grew up in the Baptist church where she learned that sex was sinful. Today, Brianna talks about her childhood sexual explorations with other little girls, her unfortunate first relationship with a boy, and the beginning of her relationship with her husband, including their recent introduction into the world of swinging. Brianna is a 30-year-old cis-gender female who describes herself as white, bisexual, married, monogamish, Baptist, and exploring swinging for the first time. She and her husband have two young children. Major themes in this episode include growing up Baptist, learning about consent, discovering bisexuality, and exploring swinging. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 4:10 – Her first memory of sexual desire in first grade while playing “house” with a friend 9:10 – Identifying as heterosexual but kissing girls in high school 10:25 – Her first sexual experience with a boy in middle school, including heavy petting and attempting to give oral 13:00 – Talking with her mom about sexual activity 14:20 – Watching her father cheating on her mother, resulting in trust issues 17:00 – The True Love Waits movement, which gave extreme messaging about abstinence—causing dissociation when she pursued activity anyway 23:45 – Her high school boyfriend penetrated her without consent, but at the time she thought it might have been her fault 26:25 – Believing it was her fault, she decided she must be a slut and experienced grief over the loss of her virginity 27:40 – A discussion about consent, readiness, and choice 30:00 – How she plans to talk to her kids about sex and consent 34:40 – Using sex to get attention, playing the field 36:45 – Meeting her husband-to-be and making him wait to physically engage 37:40 – Childhood masturbation 40:25 – The introduction of swinging into the marriage 43:00 – Talking about what is allowable at the resort, opening up major communication about the relationship as a whole The Patreon extras for this episode are: The extended Lowdown Q&A for ALL supporters at ALL levels! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex. If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit <a href= "http://www.
Thu, February 20, 2020
Timari is a 37-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, straight, monogamous, married and the mother of two children. She is a listener who contacted me to say that she’d like to talk about her history with abortion, because it hadn’t been addressed much on the show yet. Along the way, we also talk about being raised in the Mormon church, being in an abusive marriage and cheating, and her sex life with her current husband. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 4:40 – Timari’s first memory of being told not to touch herself 6:00 – What she considers the benefits of frequent masturbation, especially early in life 7:40 – Her first experience with a penis 11:00 – The impact of sex ed 15:05 – Growing up in a Mormon home 19:28 – Timari’s “fuck buddy” 23:20 – Feeling empowered by childbirth and sex after giving birth 24:50 – Watching her sisters get involved in abusive relationships 27:30 – Her decision to leave the LDS church over their stance on homosexuality 29:45 – Timari’s curiosity about polyamory 30:20 – Healing from the emotional impact of her own extramarital activity 32:00 – How her current relationship satisfies her emotionally and romantically 32:20 – Her history with abortion The Lowdown (37:30): What kind of touch do you enjoy most? What are your hard red lines? Are there sexual things you’ve tried that you never want to do again? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $1/month level, Timari talks about learning to be comfortable with her period thanks to a boy she dated when she was young At the $5/month level, Timari talks about the abortion process and the aftermath in her first marriage At the $7/month level, that conversation plus the extended Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls . Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , <a href= "http://www.instagram.com/
Fri, February 14, 2020
In this short solo episode, Leah talks about what she has learned since spoke to you directly in January - what she affectionately thinks of as her "breakdown" episode. Also: Valentine's Day wishes and good news about the future of the "Good Girls Talk About Sex" podcast!
Thu, February 06, 2020
Tenisha is a 29-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as black, heterosexual, monogamous, average body type, currently in a relationship, and Christian. A few months ago, Tenisha interviewed me for her podcast Choose Love . During that conversation, Tenisha mentioned that she was a practicing Christian who chose a period of intentional celibacy as an adult. So of course I wanted to interview her here! In this conversation she talks about her early conversations in internet chat rooms, needing alcohol in order to have sex, her choice to become celibate at age 23, and the relationship she’s in now. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 6:10 – Tenisha’s first memory of sexual experience – getting kissed by a boy on the bus and being embarrassed 8:00 – Tenisha signed on to AOL chatrooms at age 8, pretending to be older 12:00 – Her early “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” explorations 13:00 – The convergence of masturbation and guilt as a result of her religious upbringing 16:20 – Growing up in a home where Christian teachings are espoused, yet with parents who were lying and cheating 19:00 – Tenisha talks about witnessing domestic violence as a child 25:40 – The lack of sex ed at school and discovering porn online 29:00 – Tenisha’s traumatic first sexual experience 32:00 – Her history of having to get drunk in order to have sex 33:30 – Embracing Christianity, getting baptized and deciding to become celibate 38:35 – Realizing she’s ready for love again, meeting current boyfriend 42:00 – Tenisha’s decision to end celibacy within her current relationship 43:45 – Finally experiencing orgasm and sexual pleasure, while still having to deal with old trauma and issues around sex The Lowdown (47:38): Do you have sex during your period? Can you orgasm from intercourse alone without other stimulation? Do you prefer the orgasm from masturbating or sex with another person? What kind of touch do you enjoy most? What are your hard red lines? Do you enjoy giving blowjobs? Do you swallow? What belief did you have about sex as a child or teenager that you wish you could correct her on now? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $1/month level, Tenisha talks about her relationship with alcohol and what sex was like when she quit At the $5/month level, Tenisha talks about the relationship she ended after her mom’s death At the $7/month level, that conversation plus the extended Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! Learn more and become a community supporter at
Thu, January 23, 2020
Jazz is a 31-year-old gender non-conforming, femme-identified person who uses the pronouns "they" and "theirs". They describe themselves as black, polyamorous, and pansexual with an active dating life. The major theme of this episode is gender. Jazz talks about how genitals are not the be-all-end-all of gender. If all of the recent talk about gender as a spectrum has you confused or uncomfortable, this is the episode to listen to! Here are some of the notable moments they shared with us: 3:55 – Jazz’s “attacks of pleasure” in elementary school 7:45 – Their first time masturbating at age 14 9:40 – How training as a performer left them disembodied and dissociated 13:50 – The emergence of Jazz’s gender non-conforming identity 16:10 – What non-binary means 19:25 – Jazz’s first boyfriend, including a lack of negotiation and advocacy for themselves 24:40 – Discovering vibrators and toys 26:10 – Discovering attraction to multiple kinds of bodies and kissing a girl for the first time 30:20 – Jazz’s defines what “solo-poly” means to them 30:48 – What is a comet partner? 32:00 – Trying out triad relationships 32:56 – How Jazz’s body shape has impacted their experience of sex—not being able to be fully themself because partners have identified them as female 37:00 – Being affirmed in a recent relationship and embracing their chin hair 41:30 – The joys of group sex The Lowdown: Do you have sex during your period? Can you orgasm from intercourse or strap-on sex alone? Do you prefer the orgasm from masturbation or partnered sex? Have you ever had a threesome or more? Have you ever had public sex? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $5/month level, Jazz talks about their journey to discovering non-monogamy At the $7/month level, that conversation plus the extended Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey (<a href="http://www.facebook.com/goo
Thu, January 09, 2020
In this special episode, Leah talks about her recent slide into anxiety and depression. The "too long, didn't listen" version is: the podcast will continue on a regular schedule, but I'm taking a step back from everything else to give myself some time to reset and refocus. Also, listener emails mean the world to me, so if you want to send something please do: leah@goodgirlstalkaboutsex.com.
Thu, December 26, 2019
It's been a year! In this final episode of 2019, we revisit some of our most popular conversations so far. We've got excerpts from the Q&A portions from episodes featuring Danielle, Betsy, Jessi, and Michelle. Much of this material ended up on the cutting room floor the first time around, so it’s all-new content for regular listeners (Patreon supporters got a sneak peek at these extended conversations when they first came out!) Information about the 5% BRAVER group coaching process can be found at www.leahcarey.com/brave . If you’ve got room in your 2020 budget and would like to support female-positive, sex-positive, judgment-free conversations that help us all to shed shame and SAY ALL THE THINGS, I invite you to join the community of supporters at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . For as little as $1/month, you can help make this podcast financially-viable long into the future. The full episodes for these four conversations can be found: Danielle - Bad self-esteem but a great body Betsy - When we started to explore kink Jessi - Exploring queer sex Michelle - A throbbing in my nether regions Danielle's podcast: Marriage & Martinis Jessi Kneeland 's Instagram account Michelle's favorite sex toy, Tracy's Dog , here . Leah's favorite toy to use on a penis, the Tenga Egg , here . Join me on Instagram and YouTube
Thu, December 12, 2019
Lisa is a 40-year-old cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, currently in a relationship that is heterosexual, monogamous, and long-distance. She has also long been attracted to women and is considering the likelihood that she is bisexual. Major themes in this episode include body image and eating disorders, sex outside marriage, long distance relationships, and exploring kink. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 5:20 – Lisa’s discovery of sexual pleasure in the shower 6:45 – Growing up as a gymnast, giving her a heightened sense of body awareness as a kid 8:00 – Developing an eating disorder 9:45 – Lisa’s first experience of dating and sexual exploration 12:40 – “Losing” her virginity 14:00 – Having a partner stop penetration when asked 16:30 – Having bad sex in college 18:45 – Getting married right out of college and meeting her sexual needs outside the marriage 20:00 – Having flings during work travel 21:58 – Lisa’s ability to compartmentalize sex from a relationship 24:30 – Communicating relationship needs/boundaries/parameters over the course of a relationship 27:25 – Lisa’s second marriage and its unhealthy aspects 29:00 – Opening up to kink and anal sex 30:20 – Exploring new fantasies with her current partner 33:33 – The day Lisa’s partner thanked Leah on Instagram for opening new vistas in their relationship! 35:30 – How they keep sex alive in a long distance relationship 39:30 – How Lisa talks to her kids about sex and consent 42:30 – The ramifications of leaving a trail of sexy pics in today’s digital world The Lowdown (44:14): Do you prefer the orgasm from masturbation or sex with a partner? Are there sexual things you’ve tried that you don’t ever want to do again? Have you ever faked an orgasm? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $1/month level, Lisa and I discuss the confusion we’ve both encountered around bisexuality At the $5/month level, Lisa talks about the prevalence of GHB, a date rape drug, when she was in college At the $7/month level, those conversations plus the extended Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2 . Want to be on the show? Visit <a href= "https://www.leahcarey.com/gue
Wed, November 27, 2019
Sarah is a 35-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, married, monogamous, and pansexual. She clarified however that while she has experienced attractions to people of all genders, her sexual experiences have been limited to cis-gender males. Through her teens and early 20s, Sarah dated MUCH older men. She reflects back on those experiences, sorting through the ramifications of her partner choices, including the pressures she felt and how the power differentials in those relationships worked. She is now married to a man her own age and in the second half of the show we talk extensively about the physical difficulties she has with sex and how she and her husband work around them. Major themes in this episode include the stigma, power dynamics, and secrets involved in dating much older men; physical challenges with sex and difficulty with orgasm; and expanding the definition of what counts as sex. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 3:00 – Sarah’s first memory of sexual pleasure around age 8 8:30 – Sarah’s first relationship with a moderately older partner 12:00 – Not knowing how to behave when receiving pleasure 13:50 – Sarah’s first relationship with a significantly order partner 17:30 – Sarah considers power dynamics and coercion in relationship with an older man 18:55 – When a partner removes a condom without permission it is sexual assault 27:00 – Sarah’s first orgasm at age 25—through more communication, focus on her pleasure, comfort level 33:00 - Navigating sexual interaction when orgasm isn’t going to happen 36:30 – The physical challenges Sarah contends with including carpal tunnel, autoimmune disorders, and vaginal dryness 39:30 – Experimenting with lubricants and dilators 41:00 – An important PSA about lubrication! The Lowdown (45:20): Do you have sex during your period? What is your definition of sex? Do you prefer the orgasm from masturbation or sex with another person? Do you enjoy receiving oral sex? Do you every worry about how you taste or smell? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $5/month level, Sarah talks more about her relationships with older men At the $7/month level, that conversation plus the extended Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-
Thu, November 14, 2019
Michelle is a 42-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as black and married. She is currently sorting through whether she is gay or bisexual, and in the process she and her wife have opened up what was previously a monogamous marriage. Major themes in this episode include discovering (and re-discovering) sexual orientation, mismatched libido in a marriage, infidelity and honesty within a marriage, and discovering physical desire in her 40s. Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 5:35 – Michelle’s first-grade crush on her female teacher 10:00 – Michelle’s experience of inappropriate touch at 7 years old 11:00 – Michelle’s first kiss in college 13:00 – The power dynamic of giving blowjobs 14:30 – The cultural taboo of black men giving oral sex to women 16:00 – Michelle’s first experience of receiving oral sex and intercourse 18:18 – Michelle’s first experience with a woman 22:30 – Discomfort with sexual fluids 26:50 – Coming out to her friends as gay – and their reaction 33:00 – Mismatched libidos lead her wife to seek sex outside the marriage 35:50 – Michelle feels stirrings of raw passion with a man 41:05 – Michelle’s identity crisis over attraction to a male and potentially losing her identity as a strong lesbian 45:50 – Finally having an honest conversation with her wife – the impact and the aftermath The Lowdown: Because this episode ran so long, this week’s entire Q&A is available to everyone FOR FREE at Patreon ! The Patreon extras for this episode are: FREE – The extended Q&A At the $1/month level, Michelle and I talk about how strong she was to get help as a young child, and how she doesn’t see herself that way At the $5/month level, Michelle considers whether her early attraction to men was authentic or manufactured so she could feel “normal” At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2 . Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication
Thu, October 31, 2019
Jo is a 58-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heteroflexible, and in a friends-with-benefits situation. She deals with ongoing physical issues that make sex challenging. Her preferred relationship style is “none” – as in, she doesn’t want a defined romantic relationship. Before we started recording she said, “I don’t want to be picking up your socks or do your laundry. I may cook you dinner occasionally, but that’s because I want to cook not because you’re hungry.” While I did my best to maintain my regular sense of equilibrium during this interview, it was a particularly personal one for me. Jo and I don’t really know each other, but our families have been intertwined for a long time. In order to preserve the privacy of others not on this call, we kept the specifics vague, but we were both curious to find out if we would learn new things about our shared history in this conversation. Major themes in this episode include preferring to not have committed relationships, navigating sex with physical difficulties/birth defects, internet dating, and sex after menopause. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 2:52 – Jo’s first memory of sexual pleasure 5:00 – Jo’s early medical history, including birth defects (Jo’s language for her physical challenges) and surgeries to correct them 13:00 – Jo’s sexual experience with a family friend, then listening to his brother getting beaten for masturbating 17:00 – Being pushed into sexual interaction and having to say no 25:00 – Learning to self pleasure; also having no one to talk about it with, and the fear of AIDS 25:40 – Her fears about sex easing after the death of her mother, and starting to explore internet dating 29:55 – Having sex with another person for the first time at 46, and her difficulties with intercourse due to childhood surgeries 32:20 – Jo’s techniques to learn how to have intercourse pleasurably, if at all; necessity of mentally relaxing for it to be possible 34:00 – Using blow jobs to take pressure off of her during sex 35:00 – Insisting on a friends-with-benefits structure for relationships 38:00 – Jo’s trauma response, including needing to know when touch will be coming The Lowdown (37:40) What kind of touch do you enjoy most? Approximate number of sexual partners Do you enjoy receiving oral sex? How do you feel about ass play? Do you enjoy dirty talk during sexual encounters? What is a myth about sex you’ve had to unlearn? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $1/month level, Jo talks about the violence she experienced as a girl because she didn’t dress or act according to gender expectations. At the $5/month level, Jo describes the sexual harassment
Thu, October 17, 2019
Shasta is a 45-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as Canadian First Nation/Cree, heterosexual, monogamous, and married to her husband who she has been with for 20 years. Major themes in this episode include balance of power in heterosexual relationships, bedroom boredom in a long-term relationship, and working to heal childhood issues as an adult You can find Shasta online at www.ShastaTownsend.com . Her book, Happy, Sexy, Shameless – What Our Mother’s Didn’t Know About the Birds and the Bees , is available at Amazon . Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 5:30 – Her first memory of sexual pleasure, masturbating at age 4 8:00 – The challenge of overcoming staleness in the marriage bed 9:30 – Rediscovering masturbation as an adult 10:30 – Encountering shame and childhood trauma when her husband requested new sexual explorations 12:45 – What she learned as a child about being a “good girl” 15:00 – The messages we hear about being a smart and outspoken female 17:00 – Using sexual dominance as a protective measure, sexual prowess as power over men 21:00 – The cultural balance in wanting men to pursue women and ask for things vs. men being perceived as aggressive/entitled 25:00 – Shasta’s experience with body image—being the “smart one” but also flaunting/accentuating what you have 32:00 – Trying new things with her husband to break barriers around shame and stories The Lowdown (34:40): What kind of touch do you enjoy most? What is something sexual you’ve done that you never want to do again? Do you have hair down there or are you bare? Have you ever had a threesome or more? Have you ever had public sex? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $5/month level, Shasta talks more about her First Nation/Indigenous background and what it was like to grow up as a mixed race child in Canada. She also talks about the messages she heard about being a “good girl.” At the $7/month level, that conversation plus the extended Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-g
Thu, October 03, 2019
Aimee is a 37-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, straight, and married. Although Aimee considers herself monogamous, she has recently begun an affair with another man that her husband does not know about. We talk about this extensively in the second half of the episode. This is a challenging subject, but it’s also real – there are so few places to learn about healthy relationships and healthy sexuality that many people are struggling in unhappy marriages and looking for affirmation and connection outside of their primary bond. I am not condoning cheating or violating relationship agreements, but I hope that you can listen to this conversation with an open heart and hear the pain and distress Aimee is experiencing that has led her to this point. Major themes in this episode include: infidelity and seeking sex outside the marriage lack of sexual communication erectile dysfunction Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us: 5:00 – Aimee’s first masturbation experience including both pleasure and shame 7:00 – Bad first experience of sex 14:00 - Getting into relationships just because the man showed interest 16:00 - Lack of sex ed and sex talk from parents, even about menstruation 19:00 – Aimee’s first experience of sexual pleasure with another person 21:45 - Navigating her partner’s erectile dysfunction 25:00 – Lacking communication about sex with her partner 31:00 – Developing an extramarital relationship 39:30 – Aimee’s true feelings about the future – and how she hopes the relationship with her husband will end This conversation is so raw and exposed that it didn’t feel right to tack on a light-hearted “Quick 5” segment at the end. But, as always, you can find the full Q&A over at Patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $1/month level, we talk about the mismatch Aimee and her husband have in their touch needs and their understanding of boundaries At the $5/month level, Aimee talks more about the dissatisfaction she has in her marriage and what she’s getting from the new man in her life At the $7/month level, those conversations plus the Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus the monthly Ask Me Anything! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2 . Want to be on the sh
Thu, September 19, 2019
Erin is a 34-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as queer, in a new relationship, she isn’t certain of her preferred relationship style. Erin deals with OCD, plus related mental conditions that cause her to pull her hair (Trichotillomania) and pick her skin (Dermatillomania). Those conditions cause her nervousness when exposing herself with a new partner. Major themes in this episode include being queer, OCD, and exploring sex in adulthood. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 3:25 - Feeling the tingle watching animated cartoons 6:10 - Growing up in a progressive culture 10:30 – The lack of good sex education, even in a progressive city 13:20 – Erin’s first time having sex 16:00 – The dreaded moment of receiving oral from a boyfriend who didn’t like doing it 18:00 – Basing her teen body image on being the “funny one” 19:30 – How getting tattoos as an adult has helped Erin to embrace her body 23:20 – The positive impact improving her body image has had on her sex life 26:00 – Erin’s first relationship with a woman 31:00 – Navigating dating and sexuality with a form of OCD that is very visible (skin picking and hair pulling) 34:20 – Erin talks about her hard red lines around sex Quick 5: Do you have sex during your period? What is your favorite way to orgasm? Have you ever faked an orgasm? Do you have hair down there or are you bare? Do you enjoy dirty talk during sexual encounters? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $1/month level, Erin and I talk about bisexuality – the language that is used around it and the experiences each of us have had around being rejected for it as well as being fetishized for it At the $5/month level, Erin talks about choosing a monogamous relationship after exploring ethical non-monogamy. At the $7/month level, those conversations plus the extended Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus the monthly Ask Me Anything! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2 . Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.l
Thu, September 05, 2019
Martyna is a 29-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, and in a relationship. She grew up in Poland and now lives in South Africa. Martyna deals with depression, and she talks today about how that has affected her relationships and sex. She also talks about how the season 1 STARS episode affected her thinking about how to talk about consent. You can find that episode at https://www.leahcarey.com/podcast/episode-8a-bonus-the-stars-conversation Major themes in this episode include depression, learning about consent as an adult, and exploring BDSM. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 4:30 – Martyna’s first sexual experiences – by herself riding pillows, then playing with another little girl 6:40 – The lessons she learned growing up Polish Catholic 8:30 – Securing contraception in secret 10:30 – Growing up with an alcoholic and emotionally abusive mom, and her teen rebellion 11:30 – Martyna’s sense of shame around losing her virginity 13:55 – Finding herself sexually, her exploration on the rebound 15:30 – Martyna’s first experience of real consent conversations and the play that lead to her sexual awakening 21:25 – Her intro to BDSM 25:00 – Her masturbation to achieve orgasm when it wasn’t present in sex 26:00 – How depression has affected her sex life 31:20 – The relief of giving up control during sex 32:45 – More specific details about her sexual activities with her current partner Quick 5: 37:00 - What is a fantasy you’ve been wanting to try but haven’t yet? 38:55 - What’s the kinkiest thing you enjoy? 40:20 - Do you swallow or not? 41:51 - Do you enjoy direct stimulation to your clit? 42:18 - How do you feel when a partner loses or can’t get an erection? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $1/month level, there’s an extended conversation about how the culture of different countries plays into gender roles and relationship expectations At the $5/month level, Martyna talks more about the specifics of her BDSM activities with her partner At the $7/month level, that conversation plus the extended Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! Learn more and become a community supporter at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at <a href= "https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id143650
Thu, August 08, 2019
Margot is a 39-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as black, British, bisexual and currently in an open, long-distance relationship. She also travels widely and lives for extended periods in other parts of the world, giving her insight into different sexual cultures around the world. Major themes in this episode include open relationships, later-in-life sexual explorations, and learning about sexuality in a culture that was not open about the subject. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 9:20 – Margot’s first experience of intercourse 13:15 – Exploring sex post-divorce 16:30 – Her relationship with her body and how it is changing with aging 18:03 – Navigating an open relationship 27:00 – The questions and communication that are required in their open relationship 29:00 – The boundaries and agreements Margot has with her partner to make their open relationship work 31:30 – Margot’s experience of body image 34:30 – Discovering what an orgasm feels like Quick 5: 41:17 - Do you schedule sex or is it spontaneous? 41:42 - Do you enjoy direct clit stimulation? 41:54 - How do you feel when a partner loses or can’t get an erection? 42:14 - Do you enjoy dirty talk? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $5/month level, Margot shares some fascinating insights into relationship norms that she has observed in other cultures around the world At the $7/month level, that conversation plus the extended Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! To join the Patreon community, visit www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex WANT TO SIGN UP FOR THE GROUP COACHING PROGRAM “5% BRAVER”? Visit www.leahcarey.com/five-percent . If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2 . Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , <a href=
Thu, August 01, 2019
Diana is a 37-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heterosexual, married and monogamous. Diana had a traumatic birth with her older son, which led to a disconnection from her body and her pleasure. She was able to have a vaginal birth with her younger child, which helped reconnect her with her body and sexuality. Major themes in this episode include sexuality after trauma from childbirth and reclaiming your body after motherhood. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 10:30 – Diana’s first sexual experience 13:30 – Masturbation as an important component of self care 14:45 – Diana’s belief that everybody masturbates and how she’s handling it with her young sons 18:30 – Diana’s experience with consent in a long-term relationship 19:45 – The messages she heard about sex growing up in a conservative Christian home 21:45 – Diana’s relationship with her body and the impact of the male gaze 24:00 – Figuring out her body and how it works after each pregnancy 28:00 – Reclaiming bodily autonomy away from the needs of small children 31:30 – PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex after childbirth 32:40 – How birth trauma affected Diana’s experience of her body and sex 35:30 – How her second birth helped heal Diana’s trauma from the first birth 37:30 – The pain of a previous divorce leading to extra care in her current relationship The Quick 5: 41:00 – What kind of touch do you enjoy most? 41:15 – Are there sexual things you’ve tried that you never want to do again? 41:25 – Have you ever had a sexual urge that confused you? 41:58 – How often do you masturbate? 42:05 – Have you ever had feelings for two people at the same time? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $5/month level, Diana talks about the work that she does to support other mothers who have been through traumatic birth experiences to heal. At the $7/month level, it’s the extended Q&A. And, as always, at the $10/month level, you’ll get all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything. At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! To join the Patreon community, visit www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THE 5% BRAVER GROUP COACHING, all of the information is at www.leahcarey.com/five-percent If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at
Thu, July 25, 2019
Davina Bookbinder is a 33-year-old, transgender woman who describes herself as white, Jewish, queer, polyamorous and actively dating. Major themes in this episode include being transgender, discovering and navigating gender identity, and sex as a trans woman. This episode is extra long because there's just SOOOO much great material! Davina is a good friend and she and I have had long conversations about gender in general and her gender in particular. It is because she and I have developed a foundation of trust that I'm able to ask questions that we wouldn't normally ask. PLEASE KNOW that many of the questions I ask in this interview are NOT questions that are appropriate to ask a trans person in regular conversation. But that's true of all the conversations on this show, right?!? I ask deeply personal questions that you would never think to ask someone at a dinner party. The problem for trans people is that there is such curiosity around their bodies and their genitals that people end up believing they're allowed to ask those questions at the dinner party. So consider this your opportunity to listen in on the questions you WISH you could ask - yes, we talk about having sex as a trans person and how it works. Yes, we talk about the current state of her genitals and how she likes them to be interacted with. And yes, we talk about the intersection of mental health and being transgender. Many, many thanks to Davina for showing up and being willing to have this conversation. I love you, girl! You can find Davina at www.therebelliousjewess.com and on Instagram at @ therebelliousjewess . Davina is also the Programming Director for Sex Positive Portland . Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 4:30 – Davina’s early sexual experiences with both genders 7:50 – The difference she felt between physical pleasure with boys, emotional connection with girls 12:20 – Davina’s early experience with porn 14:40 – How gender norms impacted Davina’s recognition of being trans 18:20 – Davina’s feelings about being in male settings 20:40 – The nail polish blow up 24:50 – Discovering her gender identity and getting divorced 26:30 – Diving into therapy around gender identity 34:50 – Gender and the brain 36:45 – Davina talks about having top surgery 40:10 – Waiting for bottom surgery 42:30 – Her body in gender transition and how it has affected her sexuality and orgasm 46:00 – Terminology for genitalia in transition, function, sexual pleasure 55:20 – Going through multiple puberties 56:45 – The p
Thu, July 18, 2019
Jane is a 36-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heteroflexible, monogamous and with a partner of three years. Jane went to Catholic School while she was growing up in Scotland and in her family she learned that certain topics should never be discussed – including sex. Major themes in this episode include difficulty in communicating about sex, body image and sex, and exploring BDSM. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 9:00 – The meager sex ed classes Jane received in Catholic school 14:00 – How Jane found access to contraception 15:30 – Jane’s relationship to her body and how it has changed over time 21:30 – Jane’s personal “Dementors” and how they impact every aspect of her life 25:00 – Jane’s struggles with communicating with partners about body image issues 30:00 – Difficulty communicating about sex and her desires 32:00 – Jane and her partner’s explorations into kinkier sex and BDSM 34:00 – Navigating communication around BDSM activities, including Leah’s Yes / No / Maybe checklist that’s available for download at www.leahcarey.com/checklist The Quick 5: 37:52 – Do you have hair down there or are you bare? 38:33 – What’s the kinkiest thing you enjoy? 39:14 – Do you squirt? 40:05 – How do you feel when your partner can’t get – or loses – an erection? 41:00 – Do you tend to orgasm quickly or take a long time? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $5/month level, Jane talks about feeling undereducated when she began experimenting with BDSM and how her relationship with BDSM activities changed as her feelings for her partner grew and deepened. At the $7/month level, it’s 18 minutes of Q&A! And, as always, at the $10/month level, you’ll get all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything. To join the Patreon community, visit www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex You can download the Yes / No / Maybe checklist at: www.leahcarey.com/checklist If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2 . Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah
Thu, July 11, 2019
Betsy is a 38-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, straight, monogamous and in a relationship. Betsy had sex for the first time at age 27, and after a brief period of one-night-stands, married a man whose sexual desires were significantly different than hers. She says her naturally high libido was “beat right out of me.” Today, divorced and reclaiming her sexuality, Betsy is with a new partner and exploring her long-suppressed interest in BDSM. Last year Betsy came to me to do sexual communication coaching. She tells some of that story in this episode. Major themes in this episode include exploring new sexual realms (with support from a coach), navigating a changing relationship with her body, and BDSM. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 7:00 – How Betsy started to feel better in her body by doing a sexy dance workout 9:30 – Her relief at losing her virginity at age 27 14:00 – Betsy joins the bar scene and has sex with lots of different men 16:50 – Settled into marriage, Betsy and her husband had mismatched libidos 21:00 – Betsy’s dawning desire for BDSM activities 24:00 – Betsy met her current partner and experienced immediate trust and opening of communication 27:50 – The yes/no/maybe list (download at leahcarey.com/checklist ) 29:00 – The dynamics of a BDSM play sessions, including sub-space and post-mortem talk sessions 31:00 – Betsy shares some of the specific activities she and her partner do during play sessions 31:45 – Anal play, learning to use pain for pleasure, role playing and restraints 35:00 – The role trust plays in her current relationship and how it affects all aspects of Betsy’s life The Quick 5: 37:06 – Do you have hair down there or are you bare? 37:31 – How much of your sex time is kinky vs. vanilla play? 38:42 – How do you feel about the smell/taste of your own juices if he kisses you after going down on you? 39:06 – Do you prefer when your partner makes noise or is quiet? 39:15 – Are you a single or multi-orgasmic woman? The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $5/month level, Betsy talks more about her BDSM relationship with her partner, including specific activities they enjoy and how important trust is in their relationship. At the $7/month level, that conversation plus almost 16 minutes of Q&A! At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! Become a part of the Patreon community at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex ! If you like this s
Wed, July 03, 2019
Shelly is a 44-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, lesbian, living with her girlfriend and monogamous. She grew up in the Mormon church, got married and had seven children as she was expected to do. Then several years ago she started questioning her faith and left the church. She then realized that she’s also a lesbian, which is an extreme no-no in the Mormon church. Major themes in this episode include the interplay of Mormonism and lesbianism, and recovering from guilt and shame from rejecting childhood teachings. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 7:00 – As a teenager, having to “confess” all sexual activity and thoughts to an older male bishop 12:00 – How consent is impacted when alcohol is involved 14:00 – Shelly’s earliest experience of same-sex attraction 17:30 – Opening to curiosity around lesbianism while letting go of the disgust she had been taught 20:00 – The difference in intimacy shared between women and men 28:00 – Shelly’s first gay experience 39:00 – How Shelly talks to her seven children about sex now that they are out of the Mormon church Due to unusual circumstances, this week’s Quick 5 is only available to our Patreon supporters. Thank you for your support! The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $5/month level, the first few minutes of the Q&A At the $7/month level, that conversation plus another 12.5 minutes of Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! To join the Patreon community visit https://www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2 . Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by
Thu, June 27, 2019
Laina is a 33-year-old cis-gender woman who describes herself as Chinese, heterosexual, married, and monogamous. Laina has one child and struggles with body image. She believes that nobody would want to have sex with her, and that her husband only does it because she’s his only option. Major themes in this episode include body image, libido, and changes in sexuality after giving birth. Here are some of the great moments Laina shared with us: 3:00 – The objectification of Asian women in culture and media 7:33 – Connecting pleasure to sex and sexuality 8:20 – How media conditions us to find women attractive and a sexual turn-on 13:30 – It’s okay to have varying levels of sex drive, even to the point of demi-sexuality 17:30 – Laina’s husband told her he wishes they had more sex 20:40 – Different types of turn-ons, like feeling warm and safe during cuddling 25:25 – How Laina’s body image impacts her sex life 31:16 – How Laina’s relationship to her body has changed since giving birth The Quick Five: 33:28 – Do you have sex during your period? 33:50 – What is a fantasy you’ve been wanting to try but haven’t yet? 35:11 – How do you feel about the smell/taste of your own juices when you partner goes down on you and then kisses you? 35:43 – Have you ever had a sexual urge that confused you? 37:10 – Post-interview note about auto-eroticism (getting turned on by her own image in the mirror) The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $5/month level, Laina discusses her sex drive and how the book 50 Shades of Gray opened her eyes to the idea of female pleasure. At the $7/month level, that conversation plus almost 13 minutes of Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus the monthly Ask Me Anything! Visit https://www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex to become a community supporter! Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , <a href= "mailto:leah@goodgirlstalk
Thu, June 20, 2019
Jessi Kneeland is a 32-year old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, bisexual, single, and monogamish. Jessi gets up-close and VERY personal about her recent explorations into sex with women. This is Jessi’s second appearance on the show and she is the body image coach who has supported me through my own sexual exploration over the past few years. You can find her online at www.JessiKneeland.com and on Instagram @JessiKneeland . You can find her writing on queer sex HERE. You can find my season 1 conversation with Jessi HERE. The major theme of this episode is Jessi’s detailing her first serious explorations into queer sex and partnering with women. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 5:12 – Realizing that not everyone is attracted to all types of people and bodies 6:26 – What does hetero-romantic mean? 11:20 – How she dresses and presents herself determines the people who are attracted to her 15:00 – How people socialized as female communicate and respond differently than people socialized as male 20:30 – Why it can be challenging as a female to “hit on” other females, especially given the work that Jessi does 29:00 – Jessi’s hot night with a beautiful woman in Portugal Quick five: 40:53 – Do you have sex during your period? 41:17 – Have you ever had a sexual urge that confused you? 42:41 – How often do you masturbate? 43:46 – How do you feel hearing other people have sex? 44:04 – What activity is most likely to bring you to orgasm? The Patreon extras for this episode are: $1/month – A detailed conversation about how Jessi discovered her g-spot, learned how to stimulate it, and has now learned about squirting. This is a not-to-be-missed conversation, which is why I am making it available for EVERY patron. $5/month – Jessi and I talk about how people respond when we call ourselves bisexual, how we signal gender and sexuality through our appearance, and also dive into the ever-thorny question of … how do you define sex? $7/month – 30 minutes of Q&A! (Note – this includes the conversation about the g-spot and squirting from above, so there’s no need to listen to both) $10/month – All of the above plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! During season 2, 10% of all Patreon donations I receive
Thu, June 13, 2019
Inez is a 32-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, heterosexual, married with children, and monogamous. Inez is dealing with chronic illness and is in a currently sexless marriage. Topics covered in this interview include: recovering personal pleasure after abuse/trauma, body image, chronic illness and its impact on sexual activity, and how a partner's mental health diagnosis impacts the relationship. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 5:40 - How it felt as an adult to tell her father about childhood sexual abuse 8:50 - The culture difference around sex between the Midwest of the United States vs. the west coast 12:33 - Discovering she was pregnant while on drugs 18:00 - How weight fluctuations affect her experience of sexuality 29:50 - How a partner having short stamina can be desirable for a survivor of sexual abuse 31:30 - How her partner violated consent and led to her feeling unsafe and cutting off sexual contact 39:05 - The Quick 5 The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $5/month level, Inez talks about the difficult relationship she had with her mother and stepfather and the effect that has on how she parents her own children. At the $7/month level, that conversation plus 20-plus Q&A questions in 10 minutes. At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2 . Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching, visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by – Nazar Rybak
Thu, June 06, 2019
Danielle is a 41-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as white, Jewish, heteroflexible, married and monogamous. Danielle and her husband Adam host the podcast Marriage and Martinis , where they explore every hilarious, heartfelt, shocking, embarrassing, and completely inappropriate facet of marriage and parenting. Major themes in this episode include how OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) affected Danielle’s early experience of sex, how we allow our assumptions of what other people think affect our actions and decisions, and how sex changes after marriage and kids. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 4:16 – Making out with boys in 7th grade for a sense of belonging rather than pleasure 8:20 – Danielle’s experience with a type of OCD called scrupulosity 12:50 – The cultural pressure to lose our virginity 16:00 – The mismatch between Danielle’s body image and how her body actually looked 21:30 – Does the number of partners we have equal the amount of sexual “experience” we have? 24:00 – How Danielle’s sexual relationship with her husband changed after having kids 31:15 – A sexual experience Danielle would love to have, but doesn’t think her relationship could handle it The Quick Five 32:54 – Do you have sex during your period? 33:22 – How often do you have sex? 34:19 – Do you schedule sex or is it spontaneous? 36:20 – How do you feel when your partner can’t get or keep an erection during sex? (This leads to an extended conversation about how we handle it when one partner lasts longer than the other, including a clip from Leah's appearance on Marriage and Martinis .) 40:34 – Do you orgasm from intercourse? The Patreon extras for this episode are: $5/month: an extended conversation about body image and how it affects her relationship with her husband $7/month: that conversation plus 20+ questions in 18 minutes of Q&A $10/month level: all that plus the monthly Ask Me Anything! Resources mentioned in this episode: The Tenga Egg – a GREAT toy to use on a partner with a penis! To learn about Sexual Communication Coaching , visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at <a href= "https://podcasts.apple.com/us/po
Thu, May 30, 2019
Shana is a 41-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as biracial (half black/half white), heterosexual, monogamous and currently in a relationship. Major themes explored in this episode include healing from old hurts, learning about consent, and discovering our own pleasure, rather than just focusing on pleasing our partner. Here are some of the great moments Shana shared with us: 3:35 – How she came to relate running late to eroticism 9:48 – Her first sexual experience, and how it conditioned her to not trust white men 18:38 – The moment Shana first had intercourse and why it was so devastating … and why she pretended it was okay 21:30 – Why Shana has never felt comfortable calling that experience rape 27:27 – The expectation that women are supposed to please their partner and not ask for anything 28:18 – The conversation she had with her current lover after their first time having sex 32:00 – How tenderness and masculinity go hand-in-hand 34:30 – The Quick Five To become a community supporter, visit www.Patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex The Patreon extras for this episode are: At the $5/month level, an extended conversation with Shana about how two men decided whether or not she had been raped, and how listening to other women tell their #MeToo stories has helped her At the $7/month level, that conversation plus an extra 12 minutes of Q&A At the $10/month level, all that plus a monthly Ask Me Anything! If you like this show, please leave a rating and review at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-girls-talk-about-sex/id1436501617?mt=2 . Want to be on the show? Visit www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by – Nazar Rybak
Trailer · Thu, May 23, 2019
Season 2 of Good Girls Talk About Sex is almost here! It begins Thursday, May 30! Make sure you've subscribed in your favorite podcast app so you don't miss a single episode. Here's to your better sex life!
Bonus · Thu, April 18, 2019
Welcome to a between-the-seasons mini episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex ! Reema Zaman is a 35-year-old, cis-gender woman who describes herself as Bangladeshi, heterosexual, monogamous, and single. Because her father was a diplomat, Reema lived in many countries during her growing-up years. She came to the United States by herself at age 18 with a dream of being an actress. She released the book I Am Yours in February 2019. It is the story of reclaiming her voice after years of trauma and abuse. I spoke with Reema ahead of the release of her book, but for technical reasons we weren’t able to release the full interview as part of the regular season. But I’ve been able to pull together some portions of the interview to share with you today. Here's the info on entering the contest to receive one of my favorite sex toys: Go to Apple Podcasts and leave a review and rating of Good Girls Talk About Sex . Take a screen shot of your review, and email it to me at Leah@GoodGirlsTalkAboutSex.com with the subject “Contest entry” In your email, specify if you’d prefer a sex toy for a person with a vagina or a person with a penis If you have previously left a review, send a screenshot of that review and I’ll include you in the drawing. Generic reviews saying things like “Great podcast” won’t be eligible for the drawing For extra chances to win, send me a screenshot of a social media post telling your friends why you love the Good Girls Talk About Sex podcast. You’ll get up to three extra entries for a post each on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Send your screenshots by May 2, 2019 . I will do the drawing on May 3 and notify the winner. Due to the complexity of laws about shipping sex toys to various countries, this contest is only available to those with shipping addresses inside the United States and Canada. But I will send a special digital thank you to EVERYONE from outside the US and Canada who posts a review and sends me a screenshot by May 2. To watch my YouTube series, go to www.youtube.com/IAmLeahCarey . To support the podcast, become part of the community at Patreon by visiting www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex . Season two of Good Girls Talk About Sex will begin at the end of May
Thu, April 04, 2019
It's the season one finale of Good Girls Talk About Sex! When I began this podcast, I had the typical fears - primarily, I wasn't sure it was any good! I've been overwhelmed and humbled and so grateful for the responses I've gotten back from you, dear friends. I've had feedback from people telling me deep, personal stories about changes they've made and things they've learned as a result of this podcast. Nothing could make me happier! Thanks to every one of you who has reached out to me publicly or privately. I am so grateful to know that you're out there and listening. It's what makes me excited to be working on SEASON TWO as we speak, because I know it's valuable to you. My goal in doing this podcast is to help all of us - myself included! - understand that whatever we enjoy is okay. To that end, on each regular episode I ask the guest a series of rapid fire Q&A for The Quick Five. Not all of those answers have been broadcast. This episode is a compilation of those answers. I hope what you'll take away from this is that every one of the answers is okay. However you do YOU and YOUR BODY is exactly perfect for YOU. At the end, I'll share my takeaways from season one of Good Girls Talk About Sex ! Here are the questions included in this episode: 5:02 - Approximately how many sex partners have you had? 5:33 - What is your favorite sex position? 6:53 - What is your favorite sex toy? 8:21 - Do you have sex during your period? 10:38 - Do you have hair down there or are you bare? 13:39 - Do you have a single orgasm or are you multi-orgasmic? 14:29 - What is your favorite masturbation fantasy? 17:40 - Do you swallow or not? 19:25 - How much noise do you make during sex? 22:45 - Do you prefer penetration or external stimulation? 24:53 - Do you prefer to be the giver or receiver of sexual pleasure? 26:10 - My reflections I'll see you in mid-to-late May when we launch SEASON TWO of Good Girls Talk About Sex ! If you’d like to support these open, honest conversations about female sexuality, become a community supporter at Patreon . I’ve started a YouTube channel and I’d love for you to join me there! I’m telling my own stories of moving from sexual dysfunction to sexual healing in short bites (videos will usually be between 3 and 6 minutes long.) Watch the “Good Girls Talk About Sex” video series at @IAmLeahCarey . Want to be on the show? Come to www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! Host – <a href="http://www.L
Thu, March 28, 2019
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex , we talk with Amy, a 47-year-old cis-gendered white woman who describes herself as bisexual and married. I was interested in talking with Amy because she teased me with this bit of info: after being with her partner for almost 30 years, they discovered a previously undisclosed mutual interest in a new sexual adventure. How did they go for so long without discovering this shared interest? She tells us in this conversation. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 6:44 – The librarian whose support allowed her to dive into more adult material than other kids her age 10:20 – How Amy handled getting her first period 13:58 – The young man Amy chose for her first sexual experience 21:14 – The boundaries that Amy and her husband set for their relationship when they were in college, and how that has developed over the 20+ years of their marriage 27:22 – How Amy discovered her submissive side 39:02 – The Quick Five This interview went on for over 20 minutes more than we could fit into this episode. If you’d like to hear the full, unedited version, become a community supporter at Patreon . I’ve started a YouTube channel and I’d love for you to join me there! I’ll be telling my own stories of moving from sexual dysfunction to sexual healing in short bites (videos will usually be between 3 and 6 minutes long.) Watch the “Good Girls Talk About Sex” video series at @IAmLeahCarey . Want to be on the show? Come to www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by – Nazar Rybak
Thu, March 21, 2019
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex , we talk with Elizabeth, a cis-gendered white woman in a monogamous heterosexual relationship who is approaching 40. Elizabeth has an active sex life with her male partner, which includes pegging. While that is something that might be considered relatively common in some circles, for others it is out on the fringes of “normal” sexual activity. Elizabeth opens up about how they got into it, why she loves it, and why it’s scary to admit to when living in a small, conservative town. Here are some of the great moments she shared with us: 7:18 – Her teenage “practice partner” who helped her learn about hand jobs, blow jobs and more 11:38 – What her ex-husband said to her when she expressed sexual desires 18:23 – Why she feels self-conscious during oral sex as a plus-size woman 23:10 – Why anal sex is something she thinks can bring the genders together 31:06 – Why wearing a strap-on penis doesn’t make her feel any less like a cis-gendered woman In this episode, we mentioned the following resources: Online erotica – Literotica The Feeldoe sex toy – Feeldoe Online shopping – Amazon’s sexual health and wellness section This interview went on for a full half hour more than we could fit into an episode. If you’d like to hear the full, unedited version, become a community supporter at Patreon . I’ve started a YouTube channel and I’d love for you to join me there! I’ll be telling my own stories of moving from sexual dysfunction to sexual healing in short bites (videos will usually be between 3 and 6 minutes long.) Watch the “Good Girls Talk About Sex” video series at @IAmLeahCarey . Want to be on the show? Come to www.leahcarey.com/guest and let me know that you’re interested. I’d love to talk with you! Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by – <a href= "https://www.hooksounds.com/author/nazarrybak/"
Thu, March 14, 2019
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Trystan Reese, a transgender white man in a monogamous gay marriage who is 35 years old. In 2017, Trystan gave birth to a baby conceived with his husband Biff. Their story has been shared in People Magazine, CNN, Cosmo and more. You can find them online at BiffAndI.com . While Trystan has been living as a man for the past 15 years, he was raised and socialized as a female for his first 18 years. That gives him an intimate understanding of both sides of the gender spectrum – including insight into which aspects are biological or hormonal and which are societal. Here are some of the great moments he shared with us: 10:20 – The conversations gay men have BEFORE they start dating that other couples don’t (but should!) have 17:35 – An important thing we can learn from Trystan’s strategy of revealing that he’s trans 21:30 – Why our relationship to our body is more important than the shape of our body when we’re starting a new relationship 35:30 – Should we be telling little girls that they’re beautiful? 41:14 – How Trystan’s stay-at-home-dad partner manages his energy so he has enough left over for sex In this episode, we mentioned the following resources: Podcast - Dan Savage’s SavageLove podcast Book - Cory Silverberg’s book “What Makes A Baby” Book - Cory Silverberg’s book “Sex Is A Funny Word” Trystan’s website: www.BiffandI.com The interviews for this podcast usually at least a half hour longer than we have space to fit into an episode. If you’d like to hear the full, unedited version of the interview including a much more in-depth conversation of Trystan’s experience giving birth to his son, join our community at Patreon . Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by – Nazar Rybak
Thu, March 07, 2019
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex , we talk with Yaz, a 30-year-old who describes herself as half-Persian/half-European, polyamorous, and single. I wanted to interview Yaz because I recently saw her describe herself this way: “My assets include diversity (I am genderqueer, pansexual, a person of color, fat, and make under $30,000/year), a playful attitude (I am really a kid in an adult body), and a know-how of holding space for those whose voices get lost in the shuffle.” Here are some of the great moments we shared with Yaz: 6:24 – Discovering the delights of the shower and bathtub faucet 9:18 – Discovering porn and movie sex scenes 15:14 – Yaz defines gender queer , pansexual , and gender non-conforming as she experiences them 17:15 – How being fat has affected her experience of sexuality 26:18 – Her first experience of penetrative sex … and what happened when she realized she wasn’t ready 31:20 – The STARS talk (as featured in Episode 8a ) 38:45 – Is it still non-consensual if we don’t say “no?” 40:55 – What Yaz looks for in a potential partner 41:35 - THE QUICK FIVE Mentioned in this episode: Sex Positive Portland – Where Yaz and I met, that provides education on sex positive topics as well as organized events in the Portland, Oregon, area Sex Positive World – The parent organization for Sex Positive Portland, with chapters around the world The STARS talk - an easy to remember acronym that will help you begin conversations leading to great, consensual sex. We did an entire episode on it and you can listen here ! If you’d like to hear the full, unedited version of this interview, including Yaz talking about her early explorations with women, become a community supporter at Patreon . Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by – <a href= "https://www.hooksounds.com/aut
Thu, February 28, 2019
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talk with Kate, a cis-gendered white woman in a monogamous heterosexual marriage who is 37 years old. Kate is a stripper in Portland, Oregon. I met her one afternoon when I visited Sassy’s with a friend of hers and she sat down to chat with us between sets. The first thing I noticed about Kate was that even though I had just seen her dancing naked on a pole, she was one of the most articulate and intelligent women I'd met in a long time. She forced me to come face-to-face with my own judgments about sex workers. Here are some of the great moments Kate shared with us: 5:34 – The conversation in Kate’s childhood home about sexuality 16:19 – Why being the “pursuer” in a romantic relationship felt empowering for Kate as a teenager 28:55 – How Kate got into dancing 31:49 - The different degrees of sex work 35:15 – Why creating a fantasy is the larger part of sex work 36:50 – The different sexual proclivities of men from different cultures 38:00 - The Quick Five In this episode, we mentioned the following resources: Strip club – Sassy’s Former strip club - The Lusty Lady My conversation with Kate went on for a full 90 minutes and covered a TON more topics – including how she balances a monogamous marriage with her career as a stripper. This is a conversation you DON’T want to miss! To hear it, join our listener community at Patreon for just $5 a month. Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by – Nazar Rybak
Bonus · Thu, February 21, 2019
In this special bonus episode, Dr. Evelin Dacker explains the STARS method she created. It’s an easy-to-remember acronym that will help you begin conversations leading to great, consensual sex. But I don’t want you to just get the theory behind the conversation, I want you to hear it in practice! So I invited my friend Ray to join me for a sample STARS conversation that you’ll get to hear about halfway through this episode. 1:26 – What is sex positivity? 4:00 – The lack of conversation about sex in the medical profession 5:00 – An overview of what the letters in STARS stand for 6:50 – Leah’s experience with STARS Breaking down the STARS conversation: 9:07 – STI Status 10:32 – Turn Ons 11:13 – Avoids 12:18 – Relationship intentions 13:55 – Safer sex practices A sample STARS conversation: 16:48 – Introducing Ray 17:51– STI Status 20:35 – Turn Ons and avoids 27:56 – Relationship intentions (for the sake of clarity – this conversation was taped last summer, prior to entering a monogamous relationship with my current partner who you have heard me references in episodes that were taped more recently) 31:16 – Safer sex practices You can find much more about the STARS method at www.maketimeforthetalk.com . You can find Dr. Evelin Dacker at www.EvelinDacker.com .
Thu, February 21, 2019
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex , we talk with Dr. Evelin Dacker, a cis-gender half-Mexican, half-Jewish polyamorous woman who is 53 years old. Evelin is a sex-positive physician in Eugene, Oregon and the CEO of Sex Positive Portland, an organization dedicated to understanding and exploring all aspects of human sexuality. She is also the creator of the STARS Talk, a format for talking about your sexuality and preferences so that we can ALL have more satisfying sexual encounters with both current and new partners. 3:30 – Evelin’s history with masturbation from the time she was a baby 5:45 – Judy Blume’s books as sex education 6:45 – How the ability to self-pleasure replaced a desire for sex as a teenager 7:45 – Learning compersion 8:38 – Distinguishing between open relationships and cheating 9:34 – The relationship Evelin defines as “primary” 11:46 – Meeting her spouse on a beach in Thailand 12:42 – What is NRE? (Hint: New Relationship Energy) 13:49 – The mismatches in the relationship with her spouse 14:28 – The effects of being married to an alcoholic 15:08 – How the story of their meeting kept her marriage together 15:45 – The terrible side effects Evelin experienced with birth control pills 17:45 – The distinction between moving sexual energy and sensual energy while having sex 19:08 – Yucking her yum 20:20 – The answer Evelin knew but didn’t want to know: she didn’t feel safe 22:40 – The discovery that saved Evelin’s soul: Roller Derby 24:37 - The re-emergence of Evelin’s bisexuality 27:30 – Sober vs. dry drunk 28:07 – Getting turned on by seeing someone flirting with her spouse 29:01 – Becoming an-orgasmic and looking forward to menopause 29:50 – Opening the relationship 31:25 – Meeting a soulmate that supported Evelin through deep sexual healing 34:06 – The end of her marriage 35:30 – Taking oral sex class – four times! 36:10 – Discovering polyamory 37:15 – The evolution of the relationship with her spouse now that they are no longer married 38:20 – The Quick Five In this episode, we mentioned the following resources: Evelin’s TEDx Talk - Seeing STARS: A stimulating safer sex talk Book – Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel Movie – Henry and June Television series – Portrait of a Marriage Retailer and education center – <
Thu, February 14, 2019
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex, we talked with Jessi Kneeland, a 31-year-old cis-gendered white woman who is bisexual, monogamous, and currently single. Jessi is a coach, speaker, writer, and altogether kickass person who is passionate about helping women to understand their bodies and their sexuality. She is the coach who has stood with me through my sexual exploration and reclaiming my body. You can find her online at www.JessiKneeland.com and on Instagram at @jessikneeland Here are some of the amazing moments she shared with us: 4:54 – The lesson Jessi learned at age 7 about what it meant to desire male attention 7:18 – The lessons she learned about body image in her young life 12:00 – How confusing it is for people who were assaulted as children and didn’t understand that it was assault at the time, and how important it is to give accurate language to those experiences 14:30 – The ways Jessi went about healing from childhood assault 16:45 – How detrimental it is to compare our trauma with other people’s trauma 21:18 – Jessi’s transition from feeling sexy to feeling sexual pleasure 23:40 – Practicing “vagina kung fu” 24:55 – When Jessi learned that what she thought was “great sex” … wasn’t 26:50 – The male body worker who helped Jessi recognize how her physical injuries were reflecting the emotional trauma she had been through 28:24 – Jessi offers an easy anatomy lesson on the muscles of the vagina 32:48 – The cultural narrative around women’s role in sex 35:52 – Jessi’s recommendations for great reading 37:30 – The Quick Five In this episode, we mentioned the following resources: Book – Becoming Cliterate Book – Come As You Are Video – Jessi’s TEDx Talk Sex toy – The Womanizer The interviews for this podcast are longer than we have space to fit into an episode. If you’d like to hear the full, unedited version of this and all the other interviews in this series, become a community supporter at Patreon . Host – Leah Carey (<a href="https://ww
Thu, February 07, 2019
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex , we talk with Jenna, a 34-year-old, cis-gendered female who describes herself as white, lesbian, monogamous, and engaged to be married. Jenna knew from an early age that she was attracted to women, and jokes that she “experimented with boys” when she was in her early 20s. The sex life she shares with her fiancée is helping Jenna to sort through and release some of the sexual trauma she experienced earlier in her life. Here are some of the great moments Jenna shared: 2:27 - The first time Jenna realized she was attracted to breasts 12:50 - How she felt when her father compared lesbianism to alcoholism and drug addiction 27:15 - How women are required to remember every detail of an assault from years ago when most of us don’t remember what we had for breakfast 32:20 - The important place masturbation holds in Jenna’s relationship with her partner 34:32 - The positive connotation Jenna now has for the words “good girl” 35:18 - THE QUICK FIVE Mentioned in this episode: Jessi Kneeland - Jessi is a body image coach who is featured in the next episode (Episode 7). If you’d like to hear the full, unedited version of this interview, including a fascinating conversation with Jenna about hormones and “lesbian bed death,” become a community supporter at Patreon . Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by – Nazar Rybak
Thu, January 31, 2019
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex , we talk with Stacey, a 45-year-old, cis-gendered female who describes herself as black, heterosexual, single, and non-monogamous. While some may know the term ethical non-monogamy, it’s still not spoken about often in social circles. That can lead to the misconception that it’s rare, when in fact people of all types – and even in the most conservative communities – are engaging in various forms of open relationships. Stacey is totally down-to-earth, so she’s a great person to ease us into this conversation the first time. And stick around for the Quick Five, because Stacey gives an amazing lesson on how to become multi-orgasmic! Here are some of the great moments Stacey shared: 5:18 - Learning how to kiss with a cousin 13:30 - The lack of affection in her childhood home 15:45 - How her father’s emotional absence affects Stacey in her adult relationships 23:12 - Raising a daughter to believe in her own sexual empowerment 29:22 – Stacey discusses ethical non-monogamy 38:15 - THE QUICK FIVE If you’d like to hear the full, unedited version of this interview, become a community supporter at Patreon . Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by – Nazar Rybak
Thu, January 24, 2019
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex , we talk with Terri, a 32-year-old, cis-gendered female who describes herself as Pakistani, straight, married and monogamous. Terri was born in Pakistan and for the first ten years of her life, she lived in a culture where physical affection was not seen and it was assumed she would have an arranged marriage. When her family moved to the United States, everything changed. Terri provides us with a fascinating glimpse into what it’s like to live with a foot in two worlds. Here are some of the great moments Terri shared: [3:00] – Why it wasn’t even okay for her to watch a kiss in an animated movie like Aladdin [8:45] – The explicit message she got from a boy, while her parents didn’t even want her to be friends with a boy [14:55] – How she and her Muslim girlfriends covered for each other when they went out on dates [30:25] – The “freaky” things she did with her boyfriends [38:42] – How she is raising her own children to think about religion and sexuality [41:24] – THE QUICK FIVE If you’d like to hear the full, unedited version of this interview, including the story of how a friend helped Terri buy her first sex toy, become a community supporter at Patreon . Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Gretchen Kilby Music by – Nazar Rybak
Thu, January 17, 2019
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex , we talk with Sharon, a 58-year-old, cis-gendered female who describes herself as Caucasian, straight, single and monogamous. Sharon opens up about her night of many firsts: first date, first kiss, and first unwanted sexual experience. This episode celebrates the pleasures of solo sex and remaining sexual while growing older. Here are some of the great moments Sharon shared: [4:18] – The fateful phone call that could have been for Sharon or her sister [11:41] – The book her parents gave her in lieu of talking to her about sex [13:23] – The best piece of advice Sharon ever got about sex [20:45] – How getting older is affecting her body’s physical response (but she’s still multi-orgasmic!) [27:42] – The death of one of Sharon’s sex toys and having to buy a new one [35:53] – THE QUICK FIVE Mentioned in this episode: She Bop – A women-owned sex toy boutique in Portland, Oregon If you’d like to hear the full, unedited version of this interview – including what Sharon looks for in a mate as she grows older – become a community supporter at Patreon . Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Leah Carey Music by – Nazar Rybak
Thu, January 17, 2019
In this episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex , we talk with Meagan, a 36-year-old, cis-gendered woman who describes herself as Hispanic, straight, single and monogamous. Meagan talks frankly about her childhood explorations of sexuality, how she felt culpable for the things that happened to her as a teenager because she looked older than she was, and why she has taken time off from dating and sex as an adult. Here are some of the great moments Meagan shared: [2:40] – Sharing her mom’s vibrator with friends during a sleepover [5:45] – Why her first kiss grossed her out and made her feel ashamed [11:47] – Learning to feel pleasure … long after she’d started having sex [19:10] – Why Meagan has always thought of herself as a “bad girl” [24:00] – A former boss who Meagan believes preys on strong women [39:12] – THE QUICK FIVE The interviews for this podcast usually last at least twenty minutes longer than we have space to fit into an episode. If you’d like to hear the full, unedited version of the interview – including the story of how Meagan escaped an abusive boyfriend – become a community supporter at Patreon . Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Leah Carey Music by – Nazar Rybak
Thu, January 17, 2019
In the very first episode of Good Girls Talk About Sex , we talk with Liz, a 37-year-old, cis-gendered white woman who is single, heterosexual, and monogamous. When it came to exploring her sexuality, Liz took her time – while all her friends were gossiping about their boyfriends and hookups as teenagers, Liz knew she wasn’t ready to lose control. As a single woman, she now has sex occasionally while she waits to find love. Here are some of the great moments Liz shared: [5:30] – Her mom’s unforgettable description of giving birth [9:10] – Her first Spin The Bottle kiss, gone very wrong [20:46] – Using condoms during oral sex [27:36] – Playing with remote control vibrators in public [29:48] – What it means to feel sexy [36:26] – THE QUICK FIVE The interviews for this podcast usually last at least a half hour longer than we have space to fit into an episode. If you’d like to hear the full, unedited version of the interview including a more in-depth conversation with Liz about “swallowing,” become a community supporter at Patreon . Host – Leah Carey ( Facebook , Instagram , YouTube , email ) Editor – Brandi Doubt Music by – Nazar Rybak
Trailer · Mon, December 31, 2018
IT’S COMING!!!!!! I’ve been working on this podcast for over a year and I’m SOOOO excited to finally be sharing it with you! Here’s a sneak peek into the conversations we’ll be sharing in the first season of Good Girls Talk About Sex ……
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