The Hoely Hour
The Hoely Hour is an irreverent, earnest podcast about modern dating experiences — the good, the bad, and the hilarious. Cheeky hostesses Amelia and Liz candidly talk about personal experiences while amplifying sex positivity and advocating for mental health. Listeners write in their touching and shocking stories, and guests share their expertise on topics ranging from BDSM safety to healing relationship attachment wounds. All this, and more, during The Hoely Hour. Follow us on TikTok, Twitter, and Instagram @thehoelyhour.
Fri, April 25, 2025
E224 MAILBAG: Help! Your Boyfriends Voted for Trump!
Two of our listeners wrote in about their partners voting for Trump, and one of them gave us a relationship update! We also share some stellar listener advice for when a friend is dating someone who sucks.
Fri, April 18, 2025
E223 Two Unsolicted Dick Pics
Dating apps don’t care about you, your friends are always going to date men that are bad for them (so how should we deal with it?) and tech bros are evolving backwards, apparently. Charter cities are coming for you, folks.
Fri, April 11, 2025
E222 White Lotusode
Listen to two unqualified film and television critics share their personal analysis of the season 3 finale of The White Lotus! (Also, let us know what small ways you like to treat yo self during the week.)
Fri, April 04, 2025
E221 The Year Of Edging
It finally happened. We came prepared with the same topiques today. We discuss Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell’s fuckesance (fuck renissance), Hailey Bieber and Justin Bieber, and Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco. Liz is doing mouth spas. What is that? Guess you’ll just have to listen to find out.
Fri, March 28, 2025
E220 Misogynosis
Misogynosis: when a misogynist experiences psychosis and starts keeping a detailed journal about every move their office crush makes. There's a new STI on the loose, and it's MEN! Jk but men are now one of the main culprits of a newly recognized STI.
Fri, March 21, 2025
E219 Braincell Gone Wild
TW: discussion of child predators Oh we are SO BACK. After a couple of weeks of life events and technical difficulties, we hit the ground running discussing how Sydney Sweeney should have the right to k*ll the men that comment on her body, and the pros and cons of vigilante “child predator catchers”.
Fri, February 28, 2025
E218 Yappin' With A Dating App Founder
Amelia is drivin' the Hoe Wagon(tm) alone this week and has a yap with Daniel Mossaband, founder of Firefly, a new dating app. Will AI know us better than we know ourselves soon? Jump scare: yes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 21, 2025
E217 Taking Matters Into My Own Ass
The man in your life has decorative throw pillows? Someone cooked here. The girls discuss “the grandmother theory” of evolution, as well as Trump causing a chlamydia scare in Illinois. Did you know fashion is political? And we aren’t talking about that chick that always wears MAGA dresses to the Met Gala. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 14, 2025
E216 A Girl & Her Notes App
Happy Valentine's Day, angels! Liz hosts a solo-sode and what better way to celebrate The Big VD (we know what we said) than by sharing some of details of the most intimate relationship a girl could ever have: the one with her notes app. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 07, 2025
E215 Make Republicans Mitt Romney Again
Amelia didn’t understand the assignment and wrote a bunch of compliments about Liz and proceeded to get dragged in response. Liz reads a ranking of what women find to be the most unattractive hobbies that men could have, and to nobody’s shock, men took it upon themselves to list the most unattractive "female hobbies” in the comments. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 31, 2025
E214 Migraine Bean Flick
Liz's infamous "Naked Neighbors" make a special and rare appearance, with live reactions and narration from Amelia & Liz. The girls play a game of "myth or fact" and... well we have some follow up questions about some of these facts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 24, 2025
E213 An Ouroboros of Ass-Eating
Well, here we are again. We are worse off than we were last week, Elon is a n*zi, and Melania absolutely doms Trump. We also discuss an absolutely horrific tale of a man who took advantage of his dying wife. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 17, 2025
E212 Yearning 365
FIRST EPISODE OF 2025 BAYBEEE! Amelia and Liz share their list of "Ins and Outs" for 2025. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 20, 2024
E211 A Can of BUSH'S Baked
The girls discuss the Lily Phillips situation of sleeping with 100 men in one day, and the correlation (and maybe causation?) between violence against women going up and people treating sex workers so heinously. There’s also an update on a listener email we read last week, which leads to an important discussion about HPV. All around, super lighthearted episode! /s Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 13, 2024
E210 Cumversation
Cumversation: talking about where you’re going to cum BEFORE sex so everyone is enthusiastically consenting. Amelia has a list of sexual health updates and Liz & Amelia give breakup advice to a listener. And remember: these tits practice the 2nd amendment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 06, 2024
E209 Bimbofication
Have you heard of “micro-cheating”? TL;DR: don’t think about hot people. The girls (of course) dissolve into a conversation about the state of the country, but this podcast is nothing if not the diary of Two Very Scared Girls. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 29, 2024
E208 Butt Dickkiss
Nothing says "Thanksgiving Weekend" like a game of Football or Drained Balls. Liz and Amelia talk about The Substance and read a visceral listener Enemy of the Pod email! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 15, 2024
E207 Hating Nick Fuentes (The Great Unifier)
Well, America. We did it again (derogatory). The girls discuss the hell we’ve once again found ourselves in, we assign sexual orientation to your everyday things, and we read an Enemy of the Pod email about someone who really needs to find a hobby that doesn’t include stalking his ex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 08, 2024
E206 Your Enemies, Our Podcast
It's a dark time in Herstory, but hopefully this episode brings a little light to your day. You wrote in with YOUR enemies of the pod, and we're thrilled to hate them with and for you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 25, 2024
E205 Amelia's Colonoscopy
Liz is in Paris and Amelia got her booty plundered by a camera and feels the urgent need to remind you the importance of getting your colon checked. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 18, 2024
E204 Phantom Erection Syndrome
Some sex disorders sound fake but are real, and some are real but sound fake, so Amelia puts Liz to the test. The girls also discuss a listener’s ex boyfriend who dumped her during the worst possible time, and they officially induct him into the Enemies of the Pod. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 11, 2024
E203 A White Man's Work Ethic
Don't let monogamy stop you from meeting the next woman you'll cheat on! Condoms are like tampons: you should just have them on hand for whoever might need one. Anyways, let's talk about spooky scary things, like the global degradation of women's rights. SO FUN OMG! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 04, 2024
E202 Second Wife Energy
Liz and Amelia open up the mailbag and discuss a potentially shady boyfriend, and an absolutely shady ex boyfriend. We love hearing from y’all please never stop you are our lifeblood and we love you amen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 27, 2024
E201 Yapception (Pt. II)
We finally cringed our way to the end of our first ever episode, and ultimately are so grateful we’ve grown up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 20, 2024
E200 Yapception (Part I)
IT'S OUR 200TH EPISODE! Amelia and Liz re-listen to their very first episode and reflect on what still rings true and what makes them cringe. Turns out you can change a lot in four years, but one thing that stays the same is Liz will publicly challenge any man from Amelia's childhood to a fight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 13, 2024
E199 Math for Dudes Who Rock
What is the mathematical value of a high value man? Because the math ain't mathing. If Diet Pepsi is girlhood then womanhood is moving to Colorado during a quarterlife crisis. Is it worse to be a self-aware f-boy or an unaware f-boy? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 06, 2024
E198 Up & Cumming
Amelia gets to put her favorite pasttime of making everything into a pun to good use in this week’s game “Hard Dick or Just a Trick?”, where Liz tries to guess which names are actually gas station dick pills. Are Sabrina Carpenter and Barry Keoghan Hard Dick or PR relationship? Is it Tonya or Liz’s brother? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 30, 2024
E197 Joking Out Of Your League
Some things are just offensive, you know? Liz and Amelia discuss whether or not certain situations are a joke or if people are trying to catch that smoke. Did you know that your girlies are syncing up with your period because they can smell you? Women are just really sexy sharks, if you think about it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 23, 2024
E196 Never Not Mewing
Everyone's favorite GigaChad, Mr. Liz, fills in for Amelia this week. Liz and Mr. Liz tell each other their least favorite things about each other, their biggest red flags, and what they think of The Cheesecake Factory (the foundations of every successful relationship). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 16, 2024
E195 Much Ado About Ballerina Farm
Leave Ballerina Farm ALONE! Or free Ballerina Farm? Idk but it's probably not that serious. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 09, 2024
E194 Supple Knockers
This is an official PSA to authors to stop writing sex scenes like y’all do. We discuss Mercury messing with everyone’s lives, the “backroom casting couch”phenomenon, and that little green bish named jealousy. Men, did you know it’s okay to trust your gut? You heard it here first. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 02, 2024
E193 Horny Fairy Ghost
Welcome back to another episode of two ladies talking about whatever they want and sometimes sex and dating. The Year Of The Girl is in full swing and the weirdos are mad. Might as well face it, you're addicted to rebound relationships! I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this, but you need to break the rebound cycle. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 19, 2024
E192 A NyQuil Ego Death
All the cool kids are getting covid! Liz has a weed/Nyquil/My Big Fat Greek Wedding-assisted realization about what her life motivtors have been. We discuss Trump’s (set up? inside job?) assassination attempt, the Cody and Tana situation, and we read a two emails from y’all (one of which made Amelia fully sob). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 12, 2024
E191 Jack In This Box
Gather round, children, and listen to the tale of the Delta Lounge Leech. You're gonna be mad when you hear what's been found in tampons. New fear unlocked: orgasming while you get your IUD removed. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 05, 2024
E190 The Shakespeare of Penis
This episode was powered by AI and d*ck (literally and metaphorically). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 28, 2024
E189 Dwight, Dipsh*t or Droid? with Chesko
Amelia is lucky enough to co-host with Chesko (AKA The Speech Prof) this week. Did you know that it’s basically impossible to determine who said a quote between Dwight Schrute, a Podcast Alpha Male or Chat GPT? They also discuss grifters, internet fame, and navigating discovering their neurodiversities later in life. Be sure to check out Chesko’s podcast Mr. Pick Me & the Man Hater wherever you listen to podcasts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 21, 2024
E188 Wife Bad
Fellas, is it gay to love your wife? We discuss the phenomenon of men pretending(?) to hate their wives (with a special drop-in contribution from Mr. Liz), and how nothing is as it seems in internet relationships. Also, it turns out we’re both big fans of productive arguments. Who would have thunk?* *Everyone Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 14, 2024
E187 Top Gun/Bottom Gun
Do you have a running list of baby names and pet names in your phone or are you boring? Everything has a sexual orientation, even if it's an inanimate object. And Liz retells the entire plot of Top Gun 2, which is for sure what you all wanted to hear. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 07, 2024
E186 We're Sorry and You're Welcome
The title of this episode might as well be the name of the whole podcast. Amelia has the novel Coronavirus, we have a very long discussion about Costco hot dogs, Liz rescued a drunk (potential NPC?) girl at the Avril Lavigne concert which somehow leads to a discussion about fully conscious babies, and Liz introduces us to the concept of “moral injury”. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 24, 2024
E185 We Love Wives
What's better than befriending the wives and girlfriends of your boyfriend's friends? Learn what you hate about yourself based on which Girls character you hate the most! Plus, Liz and Amelia invent new dating apps! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 17, 2024
E184 Gotta Kiss A Few Horsemen
We have all dated the Four Horsemen of Your Twenties, unfortunately. But we're all better for it. Liz and Amelia discuss Taylor Swift (and...disagree about something?!), and being in defense of being sad over a short-term fling. Liz also makes Amelia aware of the Bumble ad drama, which is...woof. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 10, 2024
E183 Bung-a-hoes
Bonobos are so women in STEM if u really think about it. What's it called if you and a friend have done the deed on the same bed at different times? Amelia shares a horror story about a relationship. It's so bad you'll be asking yourself if it was the plot of a 90's romcom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 03, 2024
E182 Rightsflation
Rights don’t grow on trees, so we discuss a foolproof solution. Liz has some super exciting news, Amelia talks about the trauma of civic duty, and we discuss the complicated dance of freezing your eggs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 26, 2024
E181 Hey Girlie!
Have you ever been Elle Woods'd? (When your ex gets engaged to someone else after blindsiding you.) Or worse, have you ever been Hey Girlie'd? Old people are flooding kinky dating apps like Feeld, and a fertility clinic in California is being sued for being dumb as hell. All this and more information you never asked for, on The Hoely Hour! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 19, 2024
E180 The Devil You Don't
Amelia went to Coachella this past weekend and is prepared to make it her entire personality for the next month. Olivia Rodrigo’s bonus track “obsessed” leads us into a conversation about the phenomenon of becoming obsessed with your partners’ exes. We also discuss the pain of watching your friends get back into toxic relationships. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 12, 2024
E179 Praying 4 Ur Drywall
Liz thinks she's an influencer and goes into detail about her incredibly extra shower routine. Amelia shares a "not surprised but still disappointed" Breaking Boobs update. We read an email from a stellar listener and learn about FLR's. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 05, 2024
E178 Alpha Male Camp
You read that right, folks. Not only do we hear about Amelia’s first exposure to a penis being a one-balled wonder; we dissect the existence of MDK, a “man camp” that beats the vulnerability out of you. This discussion is more of a tragedy than a comedy, and we’d love to hear your thoughts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 29, 2024
E177 Sad & Important
AI is everywhere, and it's coming for your job, even if you're a dominatrix! Liz and Amelia also talk about "Quiet on Set" and the horrific abuse former child actors shared in the HBO docuseries. Please listen with care! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 22, 2024
E176 Burning Questions, Featuring Frank
While Liz is on vacation with Mr.Liz, Amelia has roped Frank into cohosting a mini-sode! Through the horrible microphone quality (Amelia is technologically useless without Liz), Frank answers a few of your burning questions and discusses the apex of American Television, Vanderpump Rules. We also read an “Am I The Asshole” from a woman with a piece of shit husband. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 15, 2024
E175 Incelmania
RIP bell hooks, you would have loved The Hoely Hour. How long should it take you to get over your cheating ex? Experts (us) say "whenever the f*ck you feel like it." Amelia does a deep dive on incel's misconceptions about women. (Surprisingly, incels don't know everything about them... who knew?) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Tue, March 12, 2024
E174 Too Busy Fisting the Dough
In this episode, we learn that Amelia is like…very into TikToks of hot men having sex with cooking ingredients(?), we discuss the shift in how men are expected to step up as partners in a world where their female partners are becoming more and more powerful, and Liz wants a George Foreman grill. And that is all from just one topic of conversation. We also give advice to a listener who is getting back into the dating scene after a marriage to their high school sweetheart. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 01, 2024
E173 Split The Bill Or Split Up?
Sprinkle Sprinkle! Ladies, if you don't want to split the bill on your first date, just stare at him when the bill comes! Liz and Amelia get back to their roots and discuss a plethora of dating scenarios, and a listener writes in to share an important story about how the Dalkon Shield IUD permanently impacted her family. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 23, 2024
E172 The History of the IUD
Liz takes us on a herstorical journey and shares the history of the IUD. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 16, 2024
E171 P*ssy Goblet
Did you hear Travis Kelce SLAPPED Chirs Rock at the Tony's?! Liz has a PSA: A Public Service Annoyance: why aren't there more copper IUD options in the US? You know what really grinds Amelia's gears? A few shocking facts about tampons. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 09, 2024
E170 Home Wrecker Kink
In this episode we discuss the vast and inspiring potential of the world of sex position superheroes. Does Ariana Grande have a home wrecker kink? Spoiler: probably. We also read an email from a listener asking the million dollar question of where “the line” is on working through relationship troubles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 02, 2024
E169 Big D*ck Killa
Alexa, play "Doink" by BDK. Does the feminine voice default on AI assistants enforce gender bias stereotypes? We don't know, but we DO discuss an article about it. Can you guess how long the ideal amount of time for foreplay and sex are? The answer is actually kinda surprising (in a good way). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 26, 2024
E168 The Note Is To Not
TW: sexual assault and human trafficking. This week started with a conversation about men thinking that humming on vaginas feels good (?) and ended with a very heated conversation about politics and the absolute horrors of being anything but a billionaire in this country. PS: justice for Greta Gerwig. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 19, 2024
E167 I Can't Believe I Shaved My Bush for This!
On this week's episode of Two Dumb Sluts, Amelia joins Reddit (hello candy crush community), Liz announces her candidacy for President with the platform of "It's not that serious," and Amelia regales us with a tale of her creepy math professor asking to meet her parents. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 12, 2024
E166 I Lost My Virginity At Balto
We’re back at it again, somehow talking about our fear of apes, threatening incel livelihoods, and more Harry Potter fan fiction all within the same hour. We also read an email from a listener that decided to go and get their health checked out as a result of another one of our listener emails, which is truly the best thing ever. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 05, 2024
E165 Booch For The Cooch
It's Season 2 and Liz and Amelia are back from a long winter's nap! Liz won't shut up about a Harry Potter fanfic (derogatory) and Amelia comes in hot with the best advice, per usual. We asked you what your sex-olutions are for 2024, and we read a listener update. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 01, 2023
E164 Matt stRife
It’s our last episode of the year, angels!!! Liz ranks porn titles, Amelia gushes about Sabrina Carpenter, and we talk about everyone’s (least) favorite “hot comedian”, Matt Rife. Plus, it’s a twofer mailbag episode, folks! We love you so much and hope the end of this year gives you everything you've ever hoped for and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 24, 2023
E163 Scott Pilgrim VS A Litmus Test
Amelia is on her last brain cell because moving is a universally soul-sucking experience. To no one's surprise, married men make way more money than anyone else. Liz has designed a new litmus test to help figure out if someone sucks! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 17, 2023
E162 The Year of the Girl (Led by Britney Jean Spears)
Alternate title: Justice for Wendy Williams. We deep dive into the Britney Jean Spears autobiography and gush a bit about the guy on the Chiefs coming straight home to Taylor Swift. We’re entering the Year of the Girls, y’all. Start stretching. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 10, 2023
E161 Old Man Porn
EVERYONE SHUT UP. Amelia has a big announcement. A listener writes in about their struggles in the bedroom with their boyfriend, and how porn could be a culprit. Also, one of the hosts used to watch old man porn. Guess which host! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Sat, November 04, 2023
E160 Threesome Thots Encore
Liz is having a mental breakdown because moving is actually Dante's 7th circle of Hell and Amelia is jetsetting (and also having her own MentyB), so we're sharing our most loved episode, Episode 77, Threesome Thots. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 27, 2023
E159 The Switzerland of Sex
We’re back at it again with a new game that Amelia dreamt up, the financial benefit of having a supportive partner, and sex moves that porn lied to you about feeling good. Use this as your bible. Amen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 20, 2023
E158 VonBitch with Sam_D0ll
Our special guest this week is the iconic TikTok pop culture commentator, Sam_D0ll. If you don't know her, yes you do. Liz, Amelia, and Sam talk about their ideal Revenge Dress looks, what we wish we knew in our 20s, and who Drake is fucking (which is everyone, apparently). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 13, 2023
E157 Stupid Italian Slut With a Big Jewish Ass
Liz has a big life announcement, and we play a game of Top or Bottom, where Amelia reads off random nouns and the all-powerful Liz Ball sorts them into our version of a Harry Potter house. Also, did you know that Gen Z men are being scammed by…Instagram sex bots? Because they are. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 06, 2023
E156 Mr. Taylor Swift
We’re doing it old school (quarantine) style and recording from a distance. Amelia is in Florida with her dog, but we couldn’t wait another moment to discuss Taylor Swift and Mr. Taylor Swift, as well as the hunk of a Golden Bachelor. Did you know that a super small percentage of people are actually self aware? We can think of a few that definitely aren’t. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 29, 2023
E155 Boyhood Stories with Mr. Liz
Rookie podcaster Mr. Liz fills in for Amelia this week and shares stories about boyhood, like lighting things on fire and being hazed in the woods at an all-boys summer camp, Lord of the Flies style. Liz tells the story of a twin flames cult. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 22, 2023
E154 None Of Our Business
There are a lot of things in life that are none of our business, including "what's at the bottom of the ocean?" Who needs to know that? Liz and Amelia read a listener email and attempt to give advice, but we're not doctors we're just doing our best OKAY? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 15, 2023
E153 I Don't Want My Forehead To Move
Well, this was supposed to be a mailbag episode until Amelia brought up the fact that Reddit has been having a field day with an innocuous video she made about Botox, which kicks off an important discussion about holding space for nuance and letting people make their own decisions. This episode is also 90% Amelia saying “whoa” about a point Liz makes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 08, 2023
E152 Toot It Up, Cutie!
Liz and Amelia share listeners' boy math tips, and how every man is confident he can land a plane. Have you ever worn your underwear inside out because you haven’t done laundry yet? No me neither... that would be so gross... and Amelia has a big relationship announcement! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 01, 2023
E151 PAP Twiddle
Tighten your seatbelts because this one’s a rollercoaster. Liz and Amelia discuss girl math, the amorphous concept of boy math and men placing importance on the legacy that their wieners leave behind. A listener writes in about the roadblocks he’s run into on dating apps (can we get an amen?). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 25, 2023
E150 The Death of Tweenhood
Liz and Amelia discuss the facts that tweenhood no longer exists, some things that men do are just so cute, and how the only thing bigger than some men’s social media following is their audacity. We also talk about Neopets for about 90% of this episode, so get your Blumaroos and Kacheeks ready. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 18, 2023
E149 Snow White and the 7 Cucks
Is your celebrity crush a red flag, a green flag, a gay flag, or an obvious flag? True love's kiss solves everything, obviously. And Liz addresses a question she's been asked a lot recently... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 11, 2023
E148 Fart Positivity With Mr. Liz
Mr. Liz co-hosts while Amelia (and Frank) are Out Of Office. He answers your questions, like how to tell your adult boyfriend to clean up after himself and start a fart-positive relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 04, 2023
E147 This Barbie Sees Through Your Performative Feminism
We're back and discussing dismantling performative feminism. Do you support women as a way to get your weenie wet? THIS JUST IN: you're doing it for other men. We also discuss the masterpiece of the Barbie movie, and the importance of disclosing whether or not you're a parent on your dating profile. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 28, 2023
E146 Oddly Satisfying Vocal Fry
Amelia and Liz play another game of Porn Title Rankings, including Bi-Curious George and Grinding Nemo(?). What's your girl dinner, and just as important, what's your boy dinner? Let's talk about Ariana Granda dating a grown man who plays Spongebob in the Broadway musical because apparently that's a thing that exists. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 21, 2023
E145 A Sexy Alien
Shock of the century: we’re all over the place this week. We discuss the ethics of deep fake porn, the Colleen Ballinger saga, milk ducts, the concept of time, and sexy aliens. Amelia has a theory about our planet, and Liz just looks at the scientific method differently. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 14, 2023
E144 Everyone At Trader Joe's Is F*cking
The sexual tension in Trader Joe's is palpable, and it's because they're all boning. Let's talk about Jonah Hill's texts, and how being "the cool girl" is actually a miserable experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 07, 2023
E143 The Hoely Half Hour with Frank
With Liz on vacation, Amelia has roped her boyfriend Frank into co-hosting a minisode! We take some ~juicy~ questions from the audience and discuss an AITA about a man that went on a couples retreat without his girlfriend. Will Amelia take this opportunity to corner Frank into telling some secrets? Absolutely. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 30, 2023
E142 Everyone Had A Bush
What's a beepus? A better question is, what ISN'T a beepus. Amelia does a "what's in my bag" for an audio medium, reads porn comments, and shares sex life statistics, while Liz interrupts to tell stories about herself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 23, 2023
E141 Onomatopoeia of Queefs
*Stefon voice* This episode has everything: Andrew Tate in a Romanian Prison, men tracking women down from Bumble, euphemisms for masturbating, Charlie Puth. The bouncer is TI who will be making sure you're still a virgin. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 16, 2023
E140 Harder Than A Charleston Chew
Does every dad just love Rolos? Liz and Amelia read and answer emails from listeners asking about kinks, sexuality, and possibly traumatizing childhood memories, and one listener shares some amazing girlboss advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 09, 2023
E139 Bridezilla or Bridechilla with Ceara O'Sullivan
Comedian and SNL writer Ceara O'Sullivan helps us decide what's bridezilla and what's bridechilla! Liz and Amelia are starting a movement to unionize the hoes. This week's based words of wisdom: boycotting things that suck is just setting boundaries Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 02, 2023
E138 A Big W For Vaginas
There's a new thing you need to try while... *ahem* self-pleasure. Can you guess what it is? Let's talk about the polarity in relationships, and some Italian guy who might have to have his bepis amputated from having too much sex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 26, 2023
E137 Caring is Cool (with Frank)
Hell must have frozen over, because someone wrangled in our girl. We're excited to talk to this week's guest, "Frank" (Amelia's BOYFRIEND) about his relationship with Amelia, as well as some questions from our Angels including what's surprised him about her, and how he got so...familiarized with the female body. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 19, 2023
E136 Queefs & Varts
You guessed it: we're talking about queefs. Martha Stewart continues to reign supreme on the cover of Sports Illustrated! What's the science behind red lips? Dr. Amelia has the answers. What are you doing if you live together, like are y'all masturbating next to each other? We need answers. Also Liz cries at the end of this episode so that's a new thing we're doing I guess. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 12, 2023
E135 Lunch Ladies Gone Wild
Welcome back! Have you ever been attacked by an automatic toilet? It's like an involuntary bidet. Amelia gives a news update on an increase in throat cancer, Liz shares some girlboss advice, and Amelia survived a road rage attack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 28, 2023
E134 Blame The Puritans
Have you ever groped for trout in a peculiar river? (You probably have.) Amelia shares euphemisms for sex and their origins followed by a story about the "weirdest" orgasm she's ever had. Liz talks about the 6 stages of relationships and when most couples break up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 21, 2023
E133 Sex Drawers
You're telling me... Frank made this Ocean? Amelia recaps her weekend at Coachella. What's in your sex drawer? Because we have some recommendations... but the number one will always be condoms. Let's read some wild listener emails, including a story about a man sending his ex a gift from an imaginary fetus. Yes you read that correctly. Use code HOELY at checkout at https://www.adameve.com/ for 50% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 14, 2023
E132 Gonzo D*ck
Every kiss begins with timeless pussy. Amelia names the top 10 best adult film titles, and Liz advertises being a poster child for therapy. What have been your biggest icks? Because we have more than a few. Use code HOELY at checkout at https://www.adameve.com/ for 50% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 07, 2023
E131 I Am The Captain Now
Jim and Pam? Definitely cheating. Hairy men are the best kissers; we don't make the science. Amelia ends her dry spell, Liz pays homage to Nikki Minaj, and they both review some new sex toys! Use code HOELY at checkout at https://www.adameve.com/ for 50% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 31, 2023
E130 Wet Your Whistle
Women's intuition: it's a super power, kind of like That's So Raven. Liz and Amelia play a game of Guess That Quote between Andrew Tate and Dwight Schrute, and Amelia exercises her poetry skills. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 24, 2023
E129 Disney Princess of Crows
Would you wear a ring to let people know you're open to dating? Because that's the new alternative to online dating apparently. How often do "healthy couples" have sex? A listener writes in to ask how to tell her roommate that her boyfriend is over far too often. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 17, 2023
E128 Blow Your Beans
What happens if you practice "semen retention"? And what are the benefits of masturbating? Amelia asks the hard questions on this week's Breaking Boobs. We need to talk about how Jordan Peterson retweeted fetish porn because he thought it was a "Chinese breeding facility." A listener writes in to ask for advice on how to share his health status with dates. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 10, 2023
E127 A Man Called T-bone
This woman kicked a guest out of their party for only referring to her boyfriend by his interesting nickname. A listener asks for fellatial advice, and obviously you should use your teeth any time you give oral. And we need to follow up on some important details about the Lady Cop. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 03, 2023
E126 Jiant Jugs
Welcome to this week's breaking boobs, where Liz and Amelia discuss relevant news like Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber and scientific OF studies. Which musicians are the best lovers? Piano players? Trumpets And what is a splooge purse? Stay tuned to find out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 24, 2023
E125 Honey, I Shrunk My Testicles
Amelia and Liz read the weirdest email they've ever gotten, discover new strange kinks (and create a few new ones), and learn which of your favorite TV shows as a kid have hidden adult content. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 17, 2023
E124 Where My Sigmas At?
MGK cheated on Megan Fox, love is dead. Alphas are the girlboss of men, and the the Man dollar is week as the currency of male validation rapidly loses its value. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 10, 2023
E123 MILF Island
You can be anything! (But you HAVE to be a mom.) Speaking of moms, 30 Rock's fictional reality show MILF Island is now very real but it's called "MILF Manor." Let's talk about why we need to normalize dating people your own age. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 03, 2023
E122 Motel Pool Sex
Amelia ended (started?) her year with her very first UTI! Amelia unlocks Liz's buried embarrassing memories and they both read listener emails with some very shocking details. (Awoo! Jump scare!) Topics range from non-consensual cheating, nipple kinks, and actually insane ex-husbands. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 27, 2023
E121 Where Is The Love?
Studies show only hot people listen to The Hoely Hour. Amelia quizzes Liz on her knowledge of "phelias," possibly including the erotic interest of Sims 4. Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction is affecting men at younger and younger ages; could you be one of them? *Cue Twilight Zone theme song* Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 20, 2023
E120 Have You Ever Met A Kieth?
We have to talk about the Tennessee police department harem. Speaking of harems, one tech fraud thinks polyamory should operate like a Chinese Imperial Harem where your partners all have a rank and if they want to move up, they have to viciously work for it. Also there's an app you need to try so you don't get kidnapped on a date with a stranger you met online. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 13, 2023
E119 Ronald McDonald Is A Switch
Liz and Amelia are finally reunited! Play our new favorite game: Top or Bottom? Amelia discloses some important sexual firsts, including foot stuff. Does your partner have a hobby mistress? And if so, do they give YOUR hobbies the same energy you give to theirs? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 06, 2023
E118 Grifters' University
Welcome to Liz's segment called, "Dudes We Hate Taking L's." The men assigned Chad at birth started our off 2023 RIGHT by doing things like getting arrested in Romania! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Sat, December 31, 2022
E117 The B Spot
You've heard of the G spot, but did you know it's named after a man? (Typical man, naming part of the vagina after himself.) Also some man on reddit has a cum box and it WILL make you cry. And Liz and Amelia reflect on some of their highs and lows of the year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 23, 2022
E116 MiniMeliSode
Well, it's me again. Amelia "Directionless" Samson, venturing out without my trusty companion. Liz and I are both going to be recording little mini episodes in the next couple of weeks while we're apart for the holidays (don't worry; I'm never letting her leave my sight again after this), so I asked my Instagram followers if they had any questions for me! I also read some embarrassing sex stories and discussed whether or not this 19 year old is the asshole for begging his girlfriend to shave. We're all over the board today, folks. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Sat, December 17, 2022
E115 The Phil of YOUR Future
What do you think the confetti of orgasms are? Because we have some ideas. Amelia shares the details of her DM history with THE Phil of the Future, a woman on the internet thought her boyfriend was cheating on her but what she found out was actually... so much worse. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 09, 2022
E114 #SaveLinda
Check in on your Lindas, save them from Former Pretty Girl Syndrome. Liz and Amelia share what one reviewer called "liberal propaganda," and discuss BYU's uh... "unique" crabs outbreak. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 02, 2022
E113 Big Scrotum Energy with Jesse Lyon
We're talking about dreams! (No, not the Fleetwood Mac song.) Dream Scientist and Hypnotherapist Jesse Lyon joins us to explain why our exes haunt us in our dreams, and nightmares where our teeth fall out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 25, 2022
E112 The Pete Davidson Effect
The Male Gaze VS The Female Gaze. Liz shares her dissertation on what makes Pete Davidson hot by explaining the difference between The Male Gaze and The Female Gaze, and introduces a third concept called "The Sauce." Do you have The Sauce? Because Pete. Has. THE SAUCE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 18, 2022
E111 A Swift 'Sode
Amelia is hosting alone this week and you know what that means: complaining about technology she never has to worry about when Liz is in town! On this mini-episode, she defends Taylor Swift for still talking about a 3-month relationship from a decade ago, the importance of having your own sex playlist, and which state still doesn’t allow you to buy sex toys… Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 11, 2022
E110 Ryan Lochte Sperm
First date coffee dates: the bar is on the floor, I fear. Liz and Amelia discuss a Findom/Paypig video making the internet cringe, talk antidepressants, and share some little know sperm and egg facts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 04, 2022
E109 Life Is Like A Tesla
... It's all on fire while we're locked inside! Despite imminent death at the hands of billionaires, Liz and Amelia discuss their thoughts about body image struggles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 28, 2022
E108 Sexy Minion (Derogatory)
Amelia and Liz rank the 5 of the worst costumes you can think of while praying for the children participating in The Devil's Favorite Holiday! (Lord knows those crazy libs love giving out their weed candies to screaming children for free!) A listener shares their virginity story, and the hostesses with the mostesses talk about their "most millennial" qualities. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 21, 2022
E107 Women In STEM!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 14, 2022
E106 Greyhound Bus Behavior
Have you ever jerked off on a Greyhound bus? (Please say no.) Amelia shares some of the wildest places people confessed to masturbating in! Liz and Amelia talk about their worst bosses and sussing out who's a friend and who's a cop, and ACAB includes HR. This sex fact of the week will make you laugh and maybe scream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 07, 2022
E105 Crying After Sex
For once the episode title is exactly what the episode is about! TWO different listeners wrote in to share their experiences crying after sex. Did you know that you have to pay the hospital to get your own placenta back? RIP Andrew Jackson you would have loved capitalism. And the girls ask other important questions, like "If you could have a celebrity threesome, who would it be with?" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 30, 2022
E104 The Try Guys Try Goats
We bet you have never been asked this question about a goat. And let's address the Wife Guy in the room. Public figures simply CANNOT stop getting caught cheating this Mercury Gatorade! (Lady Justice aka Libra Szn is having her way, amirite astrology girlies?) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 23, 2022
E103 Creepy Uncles and Insecurities
According to Game of Thrones, incest is best! Holy f*ck is this wrong! But holy hell is it erotic! Would you ever tell your partner they're not allowed to have a professor of the opposite sex? And Adam Levine surprises absolutely no one by revealing he doesn't just look like a douche, he also is one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 16, 2022
E102 Daddy Science
Why do men get to eat out but we have to do a JOB? Amelia and Liz channel their inner women in STEM and sell their bodies and what's left of their girlboss gatekeeping souls to our lord and savior Daddy Science. Amelia shares some juicy details of a tryst with her former high school bully! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 09, 2022
E101 Butt Weasel Renaissance
Have you ever been called a shish-kabob (derogatory)? Amelia and Liz talk about their experiences with friendship breakups at every age and give advice to a listener in a long-distance friend dilemma. Liz shares a little known kink on a widely popular TikTok account, and Amelia shares listener's dirty little secrets... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 19, 2022
E100 Pillow Talk ft. Mr. Liz (and King Butt)
IT'S OUR 100TH EPISODE! Liz and Amelia talk about what they've learned, what has changed, and ask Mr. Liz questions submitted by listeners. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 12, 2022
E99 OnlyFans with OnlyAmelia
Amelia hosts alone this week while Liz is taking some much needed R&R. I had the honor of interviewing content creator slash internet boyfriend slash OnlyFans GOD Brendon Queue to answer some questions that you Angels submitted in about the adult entertainment industry. Brendon opens up about telling his family that he's a sex worker, what it's like to be in a relationship in this industry, and so much more. You can find him everywhere at BrendonQueue.com ! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 05, 2022
E98 NIPPLESODE!
Kinky binkies, cherry mountains, nerts... It's the episode all about nipples! Liz and Amelia share interesting facts and even a few nipple stories of their own. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 29, 2022
E97 Jesus Had A Mullet
Amelia gets confrontational with creeps and Liz shares how a tiny dishwasher cured her depression. A bridezilla doesn't know what time brunch should be and the girls read some listener tea. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 22, 2022
E96 The BoneUS Room
Babe, wake up, a new mental illness just dropped! Liz and Amelia discuss "retroactive jealousy disorder." Amelia brings a surprise show and tell from the depths of her closet, and shares probably the most shocking unheard story literally AFTER the sex fact of the week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 15, 2022
E95 Confident Fraud, Ready to F*ck
Netflix finally invents sex! What tattoos do you think are red flags? Hint: It's definitely realistic lions. Amelia learns what a "snow job" is, and a listener asks what to do with her hair during sex (shave it all off, obviously). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 08, 2022
E94 Whose Incel Is It Anyway?
Welcome to Amelia's poetry slam! The ladies talk about kindness after breakups when it no longer matters, followed by Incel Pickup Line reenactments! Also, if you need a new period tracking app, a listener recommends Stardust. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 01, 2022
E93 Hoe Union
The first half of this episode is dedicated to sharing information about abortion resources. And! An iconic AITA post explains how a college girlie accidentally unionized the hoes and caused the Chads to throw a fit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Sat, June 25, 2022
E92 T*tty With French Fries
Welcome to Hot Trash Summer! Liz and Amelia discuss the questionable concept of "vabbing" and how to accurately conduct a scientific study. Let's talk about the d-word. No not dick, the other scary d-word: depression. Plus Liz gets high and does a mad lib with Amelia, as a treat (for Liz, mostly). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 17, 2022
E91 The Real Workwives
Is he cheating, or is she just a normal person that needs a ride home from work? Liz and Amelia get deep about if forgiveness after cheating is truly possible, rank their icks, and one listener shares a Historical sex toy story... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Sat, June 11, 2022
E90 2 Hoely 2 Furious
It's our 2nd birthday! We're in our terrible two's now! This special episode, Liz and Amelia play a game of Truth or Drink... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 03, 2022
E89 Build-A-Brad
You've heard of Build-A-Bear but now you can build your man! The girls talk about swallowing like a Catholic (on Christmas and Easter), sex magick for the manifestation girlies, and struggling with a brain in retrograde (aka depression). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 27, 2022
E88 Say Psych Right Now
Some (weird) moms get jealous of their son's partner because she sees her as "the other woman." Have these moms considered being normal? Let's find out! We have a message for the newly single folks: hot girl summer is coming. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 20, 2022
E87 Conscious Partnerships with Ariel June
While Amelia is power-suiting it up at a wedding this week, Liz invites meditation teacher and inner work guide, Ariel June to share how to navigate and start conscious partnerships in your romantic and personal life. Follow us! TikTok/Instagram/Twitter: @thehoelyhour Ariel June: TikTok: @arielhereandnow Instagram: doyouhave.space Podcast: Do You Have Space Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 13, 2022
E86 Assigned Chad At Birth
Is it important to impress the parents? Research says yes, but Liz's exes say no. Sit back, get your favorite phalic-shaped snack, and learn all about the Omegaverse with us, followed by Softboi Sparknotes: where we condense the ramblings of angry men in the comments. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 06, 2022
E85 Who Let The Dogs Out?
LIVE from the Handmaid's Tale, IT'S CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS! First of all, we'd like to publicly apologize to The Baja Men. In another dimension, Amelia had a foursome with a Seahawks player, and Liz channels Kali Uches because don't come for her unless she sent for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 29, 2022
E84 A Bee-Powered Vibrator
All aboard the hot mess express! This week's episode was recorded remotely since Liz got a visit from Miss Rona herself. Men will literally break their femurs to be 2 inches taller than go to therapy. Amelia combines every animal sex fact, and Liz gives a history lesson on vibrators. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 22, 2022
E83 Lung-popping Masturbation
What would you do for free rent? Because we have an offer for you, but it involves the worst roommate ever. Let's discuss the sex doll mommy/man child baby dichotomy. A listener writes in about their struggles with intimacy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 15, 2022
E82 Getting Your Wiggles Out
When you want something between celibacy and a hoe phase, it's called "getting your wiggles out." Amelia shares some dating life updates, and a listener shares a sex story straight out of National Geographic. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 08, 2022
E81 Consent Is My Kink Pt. 3
The month of April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. This week’s episode may be triggering for some listeners. We talk about statistics around sexual assault and conversations about consent. Like last year, we are selling Consent is My Kink merch and donating 100% of the profits to RAINN. CIMK Merch: https://thehoelyhour.com/collections/consent-is-my-kink Support survivors: https://www.rainn.org Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 01, 2022
E80 Chad Thunderc*ck
We invented a new game: Hot or Ick? The game where you debate if something is attractive or cringe! Have you heard of semen retention? According to Chad Thunderc*ck, you'll get superpowers (but your ego may remain delicate). It's a terrible day to be a chronic ejaculator, After our Sex Fact of the Week, you'll leave this episode wondering: "What the f*ck even IS a kangaroo?" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 25, 2022
E79 The More You Hoe!
Is Usher good at sex? Amelia has the answer! Liz and Amelia share a very special voicemail from a self-proclaimed "total catch" (who is apparently in jail now?) HOW IS HE SINGLE?! Why is everyone obsessed with your uterus? If someone is gonna be in there, they better pay rent. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 18, 2022
E78 Gout Dads!
Was Kim Kardashian coming out as a fascist on your 2022 bingo card? The girls let Kim know how much a stay-at-home parent is worth. Have you heard the term "pushing rope"? Hint: it is not the same as pushing P (which we still don't know what that means). Liz shares the linguistic history of how misogyny has developed in language over time and why women's sexual independence is treated like a taboo. Let's talk about power dynamics and specifically, Amelia's creepy math professor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 11, 2022
E77 Threesome Thots
Thots are like regular thoughts, only slutty. What's the most you've ever done for someone you weren't officially dating? We've talked about threesomes before, but this time we share some listener advice and opinions from polyamorous folks. And science officially proves that people unhappy in their relationship are more likely to post "couples content." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 04, 2022
E76 Fighting With My Appendage
We've talked about d*ck flexing before but Liz wants you to know she will attack you like a rabid cat. This week we feature three different listener emails: one involving an incredibly uncool response from a woman on a 2nd date, another about making a shower your personal urinal, and finally a listener asking for advice on how to navigate her partner's obsession. Plus this week's Sex Fact of the Week will have you wishing we were all asexually reproductive. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 25, 2022
E75 Itty Bitty Tittysode
Boobs. Boobies. Melons. ChiChis. Juggernauts. Mama Milkies. It's the boob episode! Liz and Amelia talk about their relationship with their boobs over the years and how it's impacted their relationship with their bodies. We all know nice-guy, friend-zone creeps, but what about the grey line guys? Like the ones who aren't your friend in hopes of winning you over, but the ones who are secretly in love with you? Liz and Amelia read a few listener emails and share a smelly Sex Fact of the Week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 18, 2022
E74 Attack of the Femcels!
What would you do if you unbuttoned an adult partner's pants and were greeted by a diaper with no warning? You've heard of incels, you know them, you hate them, but it's time for us to direct that same energy to their equally ugly counterpart: femcels. A listener writes a detailed email about abnormal pap's and Liz sheds some light on her health. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Sat, February 12, 2022
E73 Susisode
We're telling a few sus stories today... Liz wants to know why an ex boo-thang is liking all her old photos, Amelia wants to know why dudes with alleged girlfriends are messaging her at 1 am, and Liz finally shares a confession about a girl whose obsession with Mr. Liz escalated to trying to turn into Liz herself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 04, 2022
E72 A D*ck Swingin' Song
First of all, we have a BIG announcement! Also, Liz and Amelia talk about the alarming rhetoric around single moms. What song would you want to get d*ck slapped to? A listener email reveals what the position "The Manner of Serpants" is... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 28, 2022
E71 Tunnel Sisters
The energy is chaotic today, but we're here for it! Liz and Amelia explain who West Elm Caleb is, because it turns out a Man of the Pod and one of Amelia's former lovers is the "West Elm Caleb" of Seattle... *cue soap opera music* A listener asks for advice on how to tell her pushy mom to stop pressuring her to get married. Stick around for a *groovy* Sex Fact of the Week.
Fri, January 28, 2022
E71 Tunnel Sisters
The energy is chaotic today, but we're here for it! Liz and Amelia explain who West Elm Caleb is, because it turns out a Man of the Pod and one of Amelia's former lovers is the "West Elm Caleb" of Seattle... cue soap opera music A listener asks for advice on how to tell her pushy mom to stop pressuring her to get married. Stick around for a groovy Sex Fact of the Week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 21, 2022
E70 Bertie Bott's of Arousal
The girls start off with a hot story - literally. Apparently Drake put hot sauce in his used condom? And apparently this is like... a thing? Also weed lube is a thing! Liz gives a detailed first hand review. One listener writes in with STI information, and another asks for some intimacy advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 14, 2022
E69 Dirty Little Pig Boy
It's episode 69! NICE. Liz admits to making Sims porn over the break and using it like a sports play-by-play. Amelia shares a DOOZY of a cheating story and the two discuss their secrets to taking the best nudes and thirst traps (thanks TikTok!). Also... did Moscow LIE about having a girlfriend? 👀 This is just the tip of the iceberg to all the hot topics this week on The Hoely Hour. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 31, 2021
E68 You Are The Main Character
Happy New Year, Angels! 2022 is bringing you that main character energy, and we're starting it off by talking about how you can catch your haters secretly creeping on your Instagram story... 👀 Amelia puts a former love interest on blast! We love to see it! Nothing is more annoying than when a bunch of strangers fangirl over someone YOU know sucks (looking at you Selena Gomez). Also, The Sex Fact of the Week will ruin your day. :) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 24, 2021
Happy Hoelidays!
Amelia and Liz slow down this week to acknowledge what a tough couple of years it's been and read a touching email from a listener. They reflect on some of their favorite moments of 2021, and Amelia makes Liz rank pickup lines! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 17, 2021
E67 The Legend Of Chowder
Bare minimum who? Liz and Amelia have an in-depth conversation about what things men have done in their relationships that raised the bar and blown their minds. But more importantly, Liz surprises Amelia by reading the most atrocious listener story we've ever received. This week's sex fact: what size boobs do rich men prefer? Sugar babies, use this knowledge to your advantage. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 10, 2021
E66 Show Me The CUMFAX
Airtags, now sponsored by Joe from YOU! Apparently Airtags are another new and horrifying way your ex or a sex trafficker can start keeping tabs on your location. Amelia and Liz discuss the lengths people have gone to to make their ex jealous. And a listener writes in with a gruesome story A La the movie "Teeth". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 03, 2021
E65 Pimp My P*ssy
MTV's newest version of Pimp My Ride! Unlock a new fear or two and discover butt fluff, a nice word for having uh... a hairy brown eye. A listener writes in to share their experience with having sex on SSRI's, and Amelia reads a listener email from someone asking how to approach losing their virginity. Ever wonder how much data semen holds? Neither did we! This Sex Fact of the Week will blow your mind! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 26, 2021
E64 Ghost Condoms
Do ghosts have STD's? Let us know. The girls take us back down memory lane and remind us of a time in our early 20s where putting a Jolly Rancher in a bottle of bottom-shelf vodka was considered artisanal. Liz and Amelia read some very important listener emails that discuss things ranging from asexuality to a letter from a youth pastor. Plus another dramatic reading between a drunk guy and someone's dad! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 19, 2021
E63 Wronged & Broken!
Welcome to the church of Don't Be A F ckin' Sh tty Person! Liz does a dramatic reading from the ultra-religious ex-lover of a listener, as a treat. Prepare for your teenage PTSD as Liz recounts her most embarrassing memory from middle school. Amelia and Liz discuss No Nut November, No Shave November, and... Destroyed Dick December?! And for our Sex Fact of the Week, let's talk about Ace folks! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 12, 2021
E62 French My Dumps
Amelia helps kick off the show by dropping straight BARS. You've heard of OnlyFans, you've heard of FarmersOnly, but have you heard of OnlyFarmers? It's the only app for hot farmer content. Your ex would literally rather do a weird ritual than go to therapy, especially Amelia's. Let's talk about energy orgasms! They're basically an exorcism for your genitals. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, November 05, 2021
E61 Goldilocks and the Three Dicks
Hold onto your hats, people! Liz and Amelia waste no time diving in deep, maybe a little TOO deep, into a traumatic butt plug story, reminding us all why safe words are important. Amelia asks a hard hitting question: what would this chapter of your sex life be called? The girls practice their free styling (give us a record deal pls), and share a rather relevant Sex Fact of the Week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 29, 2021
E60 Vaginal Air Quotes
Welcome to The Hoely Hour but sPoOoOkYy! Liz and Amelia read a creepy ghost story from a listener and talk about the same weird nightmare they both have...? Another listener shares yet ANOTHER bloody sex story! Amelia talks about her haunting sleep paralysis experiences, and Liz stumbles across a decade old journal she forgot she had and gets real about depression. Instead of a sex fact, Amelia reads a few weird body facts. Suck it, Ripley's Believe It Or Not! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 22, 2021
E59 Pictionary Catfish
FINALLY an episode ferda boys (because no one makes anything for men)! Amelia and Liz share the hidden secret to solving the problem of different sex drives between partners. Do you know the difference between lice and crabs? Unlock a new fear and learn about body lice! And, the girls talk about the lies they told as teenagers and read two listener emails from men about an uncommon ejaculation situation and a bloody hookup. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 15, 2021
E58 A Mukbang Blackout
We got through all of 2020 without having to record remotely, but our time has come. Join your (clearly) geriatric hosts on a voyage through technology woes and tales of hoes. Amelia and Liz discuss weaponized incompetence, whether cum-rag etiquette determines if someone is worthy of keeping around, and which states are the kinkiest in all the land. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 08, 2021
E57 Solosode By Amelia
Amelia is hosting alone for the first time ever. She also edited the episode for the first time ever. She is also writing this summary for the first time ever. We discuss masturbation durations, cringey things people have said to you in bed, if sex truly feels better without a condom, if there is an age that is too young to talk to little boys about periods, and hear an important message from Liz about grief. Please lie and tell Amelia this was a good episode. See you next week, our angels! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 01, 2021
E56 Daddy? Sorry. Daddy?
Amelia would like Dr. Phil to cash her outside, how bout that. What's the most egregious red flag you've ignored in a relationship? Women are far more kinky than men, and we've got the Sharpie butt plugs and furry fetishes to prove it. A listener writes in for advice on handling her girlfriend's jealous in their non-monogamous relationship. Plus, you will (and won't) be surprised by which demographics have the most orgasms! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 24, 2021
E55 Screw the Man, Man!
What does it mean if a creepy guy takes a picture of you without your permission and sends it to his friends? Asking for ourselves... Liz and Amelia break down Miley Cyrus's career and how creepy it is that grown adults make teen stars take a public stance on their sexuality. Have you never had an orgasm? That's okay! Let's talk about it. This sex fact of the week is going to make you want to indulge one of your senses... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Sat, September 18, 2021
E54 Megan Fox Renaissance
AMELIA IS BACK! What would beard trends be if women grew beards? The girls talk about Megan Fox and MGK ( bi panic ) living everyone's ultimate teenage dream, how in heterosexual relationships men are often blinded by divorce, and if it's possible to look good after sexy times. The girls give listener advice on how to navigate casual sexual relationships, read a marriage horror story email, followed by possibly the most fun email they've ever received. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Sat, September 11, 2021
E53 Becoming a Disney Villian
It's the best day of the week! It's another shorty episode featuring an important message from Amelia about focusing on mental health. Liz reveals her plan to become the neighborhood vilain/witch and reads emails from listeners, including a listener who finds power in pegging. And what if women traded boyfriends like baseball players...? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, September 03, 2021
E52 Jerkoff Transcendence
We're back from a Hot Girl Summer and ready for Goth Girl Fall. Liz and Amelia kick of the show with a conversation about therapy and existential dread (what else is new). The girls HIGHLY recommend a specific p*rn star... HIGHLY. Like, take notes, study him, analyze him in your film class, the man is a chef's kiss work of art. Finally, what's the proper etiquette for After The Nude when you start dating someone else? Keep? Delete? You shared your opinion and THE RESULTS ARE IN. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, August 27, 2021
E51 Babysode By Liz
WE'RE (almost) BACK! We missed you so much that we just couldn't wait to share a mini episode with you. Liz reads an update from a listener who wrote in months ago about her hookup who wouldn't let her reciprocate... what's that all about?! Liz shares some information about HSV2 that most people might not know. What are some of your favorite sex toys? We want to know! DM us or email us your favorites. Last, Liz reads one of her favorite short stories by author Simon Rich. See you next week, angels! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 30, 2021
E50 Sex Is Cool But Jesus Is Cooler
Crack my neck daddy! Why are chiropractors all hot but also sexual? Update: a hymen is meaningless and scientifically useless. Have you lost your squirtginity? A cishet listener shares his love of crossdressing, and Amelia and Liz share vows with each other in honor of their 50TH EPISODE! Join our hot girl book club and read Come As You Are with us! Subscribe to our Patreon to discuss it with us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 23, 2021
E49 Finding Mr. Tinkle
The girls cover a topic they should have covered a long time ago: squirting. And also, the refreshing lemon-lime soda, Squirt. Liz and Amelia read some of the JUICIEST of all time listener emails. It's like they were written by M. Night Shyamalan. SCHADENFREUDE! A beautiful, delicious feeling described by the Germans in a single word. Liz will die on the hill that Pisces men are a disease. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 16, 2021
E48 Weddings, Marriage, and Bears! Oh My!
Finally, an episode no one asked for: two unmarried women talking about weddings and marriage! The girls had a wild night out, and Amelia almost died in Liz's bed. Ah, to be haunted by the ghost of Amelia -- the American dream. If you need Liz to fight someone being rude at your wedding, she will do it for free. Amelia and Liz read listener advice on things they wish they knew before getting married. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 09, 2021
E47 Bullies: Where Are They Now?
"I'm so straight, I f*ck tits." - teenage boys. Have you heard of water bondage? It's basically what would happen if your dentist's office was a BDSM dungeon. Liz and Amelia read some of your emails and messages including cheating tales from a mistress, a fella who was catfished in Australia, and two dudes who can't agree on the best way to make women feel safe (but hey, we appreciate they're talking to each other about it!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, July 02, 2021
E46 Cheating! The Musical
It's time we finally talk about cheaters, and not the bad daytime television show. Amelia and Liz open up about their first-hand experiences with cheating and read listener DMs about being cheated on and even being the cheater. Do you think cheating is black and white? What do you even consider cheating? Plus some cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater statistics that were surprising! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 25, 2021
E45 Thot Leaders
WE HAVE A PATREON! So now you can officially support your local hoe-stesses. Liz talks about her sex drive fluctuation (thanks, depression and anxiety!) What does it mean when your partner doesn't let you reciprocate the O? And are you picky or is your gut just trying to tell you something? Learn the number one way dudes break their ding-dongs! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 18, 2021
E44 Hot Tea for Hotties
The tea is hot, Liz's apartment is hot, you're hot... it's a hot episode. Liz threatens cruel and unusual punishment to anyone who breaks Amelia's heart. Amelia caught her ex cheating on his new girl in 4k, then the girls recap a full detective mystery of a stranger sending Amelia unsolicited d*ck pics and how they discovered his identity. Plus, an angel listener shares helpful information about endometriosis. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 11, 2021
E43 IT'S OUR BIRTHDAY!
We're rolling into our very first birthday like 2 Chainz, bring out the big booty hoez and champagne. Have you guys heard of docking? All the Mormon kids are doing it! Meet the Mariguana, the coolest gd reptile this state has ever seen. A listener asks for advice on how to tell her Catholic parents that her boyfriend isn't just her roommate. Another listener asks if his inexperience matters. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 04, 2021
E42 CEO of Being That B*tch
Welcome back to another episode of "spiraling out but make it fashion." The girls read a really great listener email about a unique dating circumstance. It's hot girl summer, folks. That means we are ONLY dating hotties. No more insecure jerks with Big Ugly personalities! Learn which household item is the most likely to become a sex toy... eyebrows eyebrows Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, June 04, 2021
E42 CEO of Being That B*tch
Welcome back to another episode of "spiraling out but make it fashion." The girls read a really great listener email about a unique dating circumstance. It's hot girl summer, folks. That means we are ONLY dating hotties. No more insecure jerks with Big Ugly personalities! Learn which household item is the most likely to become a sex toy... *eyebrows eyebrows*
Fri, May 28, 2021
E41 Bring Your Own Vibrator
Do you grunt at the gym like a cave man? Let's talk about baby names. Were you named something completely normal and still teased by little asshole children? The girls answer listener questions! What are some go-to sex positions, and when is a good time to tell someone that you haven't been ~intimate~ in a while? Also, some lady gives her employees a masturbation break at work and we have some questions... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Thu, May 20, 2021
E40 Undercover F*cker
Welcome to The Hungover Hour. Bestie of the Pod, Anna, calls in with a v important question: who even has sex under the covers? Also if you get a period, you need this super weird life hack. Suck it, 5 minute crafts! Liz shares a home-wrecking horror story, plus the girls answer listener questions like: when can you unmatch someone, and how to tell a potential partner your appendage is offensively large. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 14, 2021
E39 BDSeMpisode
Grab your ball-gag and your strap-on, because we’re getting kinky. It’s finally here: an episode that’s all about BDSM, featuring guest Kinky Katie! She’s a queen in the streets and a switch in the sheets. Katie has all the dirty details you need to unleash your inner Dom or Sub, and answers questions like how to spot a fake dom and the importance of safe words. Plus, The Cosmo Quiz of Kink: bdsmtest.org Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, May 07, 2021
E38 The F*ckboi Spectrum
Buckle up folks, maybe get near a trashcan or something because the girls kick off today's episode with a truly repulsive story from Reddit about what happens when cis men don't properly clean uh... down there. Remember Your Puppy Girl Jenna? Liz hasn't stopped thinking about her... Anyways, here's where she is now and how she became a human dog. Amelia and Liz take the hot seat and share what THEIR red flags are. And finally, let's talk about dating app choice fatigue. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Thu, April 29, 2021
E37 Microdosing Orgasms
Have you heard of a Trevi Fountain shot? It's when you let all the vaccinated people in a bar spit in your mouth. Fellas, sign up for our new app "Comedick Pic" where we stage a funny pic for your unsolicited D pics. It's still harassment, but at least it's entertaining. What is edging if not microdosing an orgasm? We read a dope listener email, and share a sex fact of the week -- what are the benefits of having sex on your period? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 23, 2021
E36 D*ck Pic Art Critic
Fellas, is it gay to kiss a girl after she goes down on you? We have the perfect MLM opportunity for YOU! Get your heart broken and start living your best life, fueled by spite and therapy! The girls answer an important listener question: what's the difference between love-bombing and a honeymoon phase? And, Amelia shares steamy details of her first official sexting experience... eyebrows eyebrows Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 16, 2021
E35 Therapy with your Fun Drunk Aunts
Have you ever wanted your therapist to also be three drunk girls? Today they are! Madison is our first guest EVER, and a fellow therapized hottie. She explains attachment theory, which is basically why all of your exes suck. Plus, a riveting game of MFK featuring Destiny's Child, a Good Group of Johns, and the three best Chris's you know. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, April 09, 2021
E34 Consent is my Kink Pt. 2
Welcome to part 2 of the Consent is my Kink series for Sexual Assault Awareness Month! The girls analyze parts of the movie "Promising Young Woman" that best highlight the struggles folks face when confronted with sexual assault in everyday life. Amelia breaks down DARVO - a tactic aggressors and manipulators commonly use when confronted about their victims. Liz shares a story about being drugged at a bar, and more. We're selling merchandise dedicated to SAAM and donating 100% of the profits to RAINN. Check it out at thehoelyhour.com, or donate to RAINN yourself and share a screenshot of your donation with us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Thu, April 01, 2021
E33 Consent is my Kink - Pt. 1
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. We are doing a two-part episode series for the month of April in an effort to help bring awareness to issues humans face every single day. If you know us, you know we say “Consent is my kink” often, and consent is a huge part of intimacy for everyone. We’ve created merchandise that we’re selling on our website, thehoelyhour.com, and we’re donating 100% of the profits to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. If you’re sensitive to topics relating to sexual assault, we recommend you skip this episode, but if you still want to contribute, feel free to check out our merchandise or donate to RAINN directly! If you or someone you know needs help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Sat, March 27, 2021
E32 Does the Beard Match the Pubes?
IT'S FRIDAY BABY! We're reminiscing on some of our favorite moments in our earlier episodes! Amelia once heard that men's beards are correlated to how turned on they are, Liz will be calling her future children "lil b*tch," a rollercoaster romance featuring an actual sociopathic liar (but for good?), what aftercare is and why it is SO IMPORTANT! And finally, the story of Lilith and why she is our baddie lil mascot. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, March 19, 2021
E31 Inner Monoliz
Welcome to your inner monoliz, where Liz just says her inner thoughts out loud while Amelia is OOO. Finding work-life balance can be a struggle especially if you just wanna lay down 95% of the time. Everyone talks about kissing with your eyes closed, but what about sex? We NEED to hear your opinion! Liz shares everything you need to know about HPV, and the horrifying truth of how Gynecology started. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Thu, March 11, 2021
E30 A Black Hole of Pleasure
It’s 30, flirty, and thirsty Thursday, babes. Grab a bevy because the weekend is starting early! Your exes are just as insane as ours, and we have the listener stories to prove it. Are you a victim of love bombing? You may be titled to compensation, and that compensation is escaping clinical narcissism. Please secure your tray tables and seatbelts because it’s the 1 year anniversary of a couple joining the mile-high club in front of Liz. And the sex fact of the week might leave you with some questions… Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Thu, March 04, 2021
E29 All Men Are Florida Man
Welcome to Florida, where the population is exclusively men and crocodiles! The FBI works hard but Liz works harder. Liz catches her Scorpio ex being a creepy Scorpio and shares her expert sleuth tactics. You're welcome and sleuth safely. The girls become two Italian mothers and yell at Lil Uzi Vert for putting a diamond in his forehead like a GD Avenger. What would you do if there were no men for a day? Also, did you know being sad after sex is like... a common thing? How do you avoid the post-sexy-time scaries? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 26, 2021
E28 Big Simpin'
Mommy White Claws: It's not like a regular White Claw, it's a cool White Claw. Because it's loaded with vodka. You heard it here first folks: if you ain't simpin', you ain't pimpin'. The girls hate Valentine's Day, but it's only because elementary school teachers scarred us specifically. Last, let's get real about falling in love and exploring intimacy without sex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, February 19, 2021
E27 'Zilla D*ck
We're popping champagne this Thirsty Thursday because WE JOINED A NETWORK! What kinds of things radiate Big D*ck Energy? If he does these things, he for sure has a GDBD. Let's talk about body hair. It's weird we shave it, right? Let's all braid our armpit hair, who cares. And, find out what the sexy time sweet spot is. ;) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Thu, February 11, 2021
E26 Your 20's Are a Scam
Drugs are bad, mmkay? Lifehack: call how you want to be treated a "kink." Sisqo is in the house, lemme see that thong! Do you remember your first thong? The girls answer a listener question about being just friends with someone you met on a dating app. Don't lie, your 20's low key kinda suck, and our Sexpert Amelia Samson shares why vaginas are superior in the orgasm department in this week's sex fact. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Thu, January 28, 2021
E25 Frenchfry D*ck & Ketchup T*tties
Beam us up, Daddy! The girls talk about their biggest tinfoil-hat-theories and Liz reveals she dated a conspiracy theorist. Can you log semen on My Fitness Pal? Meet Frenchfry Dick and Ketchup Titties, the superheroes absolutely no one asked for. A listener emailed us a dick pic, and we answer a listener question about IUDs! 1:45 - 25:03 - Pretending we’re Neil deGrasse Tyson 25:04 - 33:45 We got emailed a dick pic! Plus, Dig Bicks vs Dall Smicks 33:45 - 43:40 - Giving listener advice about IUDs 43:41 - 49:50 - Sex fact of the week: How many calories are in semen? Also swallowing… :/ 49:50 - 55:38 - The legend of Frenchfry Dick and Ketchup Titties comes to life and inspires our episode title. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 22, 2021
E24 A Dry Hump Pregnancy
What’s spookier than a pregnancy scare? Nothing. Except for when Amelia used to think she could get pregnant from dry humping. The girls talk all about periods, and that’s on periodt. Seventeen and Cosmogirl traumatized us all with the horror stories of toxic shock syndrome. Don't lie, all newborns look the same. “Chill” girls are the final boss of pick-me’s. And, if the vaccine makes you gay, pls sign us up. 4:50 - weird pregnancy announcements, pregnancy nightmares, and other thoughts about giving birth 14:38 - periods! our first period experiences, using pads, tampons, and cups. 36:00 - Pregnancy scares 42:29 - “Chill” girls, relationship honesty, and comparing yourself 1:08:15 - The vaccine makes you gay? Fingers crossed! 1:12:18 - Fake Dom & condom horror 1:16:20 - Sex fact of the week! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, January 15, 2021
E23 Gas Station D*ck Pills
Have you ever had an acid-enduced threesome after taking a gas station d*ck pill? Spoiler: your bowels will protest. Amelia updates us on some very interesting dates she's been on, take notes folks! The girls talk pegging and Liz reveals she's "an early adopter of eating ass." Jeff Bezos needs sexting lessons from the girls, and Amelia shares a herpes horror story. PS: We will sell feet pics. 1:30 - Sweaty foot fetishes 3:50 - Being a daughter vs being a son 12:10 - New boos & fun first dates 24:00 - Pegging & rimjobs 36:40 - Threesomes, acid & gas station d*ck pills 43:05 - Jeff Bezos' saltine-dry-ass-sexts 52:36 - Herpes & getting tested 1:04:10 - Pep talk about why you are a rare expensive GEM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, December 30, 2020
E22 Men Could NEVER
Liz had a run-in with Gordon Ramsay in Vegas and would pay him to be called an idiot sandwich. The Hoely Hour gets biblical! Who is Lilith, why was she rejected from The Bible, and why is she now our queen? Amelia traumatizes Liz by telling her why chainsaws were first invented, and the girls share the historical horrors of birth-giving contraptions. 6:30 - Gordon Ramsay & Carrot Top story time 14:10 - Eyelash extensions and birth control trauma 21:33 - Lilith & Bad Girls Throughout History 25:48 - Chainsaws and other birth-giving horror stories 38:15 - Amelia is in love (again) 52:40 - End of the year thank you Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 18, 2020
E21 Never Trust a Magician
Amelia tells a hookup horror story about a man who read her his joke ideas for a non-existent stand-up set after their bone dance. Liz shares how she was almost a magician's personal assistant on the Vegas strip and why she hates magicians. How do you tell someone you're dating that they smell? AND we share some of your worst gift stories! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 11, 2020
E20 BDSM, Red Robin & Crying
On Prozac 40 hours a week, you could call us Pro-fessionals. Join us for some real talk girl talk about mental health and growth. Also, can you be hot and be good at your job? Let's ask Liz. Amelia ends up on KinkTok. Subscribe to her OnlyFans, which is exclusively eczema feet pics. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, December 04, 2020
E19 The Orgasm Gap is Crazy
Guess who's back? It's not slim shady, but they do be throwing shade. How far have your internet creeping abilities taken you? Also, Liz challenges a Fake Dom to a duel and Amelia shares her breakup advice to mending a broken heart. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, November 11, 2020
E18 Buttplugs & Heartbreaks
Buttplugs & Heartbreaks—it's not Beerbongs & Bentleys but it's close! Seriously though, have you considered some booty jewelry? Liz recommends you bedazzle that b-hole. AND seniority isn't a reason to stay in a relationship sis! Do you deserve a middle management boyfriend? Or the whole ass CEO of your heart? Amelia has some piping hot tea on her ex's bad behavior and why she decided to talk about it on TikTok. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 23, 2020
E17 Smell Your Balls
It's our HALLOWEEN EPISODE! What's scarier than a pair of sweaty balls? The bacteria living in beards. Yes, you read that right. Prepare to be traumatized. Liz shares her spooky stories about getting lost in the mall and possible telepathy, while Amelia shares that she is pretty much the kid from Sixth Sense. Share your spookiest sex stories with us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Fri, October 09, 2020
E16 The Catch & Release Program
Would you want to share your birthday with your partner? Probably not if you're a Gemini and a Libra. (DEFINITELY not a Leo...) This episode, Amelia and Liz talk about the pressures of getting married and having kids, and if it's okay to still not know what you want. Also can we talk about how MEAN girls can be? Aggression in young girls is something we all experience but is widely misunderstood. Plus, a quick game of F*ck, Marry, Kill with some old dudes! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Thu, October 01, 2020
E15 A Bussy Fleshlight
Posting pics of your relationship - is it cute or are you compensating? Amelia and Liz discover the shocking extent of fleshlights. Be warned, you will go deaf from Liz's shocked screams that sound like you're at a heavy metal concert. Could she have edited it? Sure. Did she? No, because she's an agent of chaos. AND: When is it okay to end something over text? Plus another perplexing game of F*ck, Marry, Kill. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Thu, September 24, 2020
E14 F*ck You Right & Treat You Wrong
Cry to win an argument! Just kidding please don't do that. Get Amelia on your side to win an argument for you. Did you ever have a drifter pathological liar friend growing up? If not, you're that friend. BODY COUNT: who has the highest in the world? Liz sh ts on purity culture and the girls end with another game of f ck, marry, kill featuring Disney characters. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, September 16, 2020
E13 You Oughta Know
Have y'all heard of The Matrix? Watch out, Theresa Caputo, Amelia is the new witch in town! Amelia and Liz talk red flags, and Liz finally talks about her "scary" ex: The Scorpio. (Scorpio men belong in jail.) Let's play a game of F*ck, Marry, Kill! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Thu, September 10, 2020
The New Testament E3
In this mini episode, Liz and Amelia read what is unofficially known as "Hinge Cringe." The girls read good, bad, and mostly ugly Hinge prompts! Share some of your best and worst dating app experiences with us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, September 02, 2020
E12 Bop that WAP
Yes folks, you read that right, bop that WAP. Trust us. Or well, trust Liz, at least. A listener asked us to talk more in depth about therapy! We answer what we looked for when searching for a therapist, how we prepare for our appointments, and more. Amelia celebrates the upcoming election and Liz celebrates learning to make a crunchwrap (Taco Bell, pls sponsor). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, August 26, 2020
E11 Lactating into the 5th Dimension
Move over, Neil deGrasse Tyson! Amelia and Liz have discovered the secret to opening the 5th dimension. The girls read a relationship horror story, talk about the difference between "making love" and "f*cking," and if they'd be down to clown with their clone. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, August 19, 2020
E10 Emotional Awareness, The Restaurant
Come on down to Schlongs for brunch! It's like Hooters, where straight women can show everyone how straight they are while eating a meal. Are you ready for marriage, or are you ready for a wedding? And make your partner go with you while you get an IUD so he can watch some blasé OB/GYN obliterate your cervix while you scream into his face and debate if you ever actually want children. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, August 12, 2020
E9 The Jane Austen of Sh*ts
This podcast is now hosted by two 12-year-old boys, featuring farts and bewbs. If you want six-pack abs, start holding in your farts at the gym. Referring to women as "females" makes you a domestic terrorist. We're no longer slapping men ladies, we're head-butting them. It's monogamy! It's like The Hustle, but monogamous. Amelia and Liz talk about STDs and other fun stuff in this week's episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Thu, August 06, 2020
E8 Just Smoked a Mouse
Dentists know when you’ve just given head! Is breakup sex a bad idea or a terrible idea? And why do so many things look phallic? Amelia and Liz talk about breakups, social anxiety, and The Bohemian Rhapsody of our generation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, July 29, 2020
E7 The Tony Hawk of Jumping Onto Sh*t
The D.A.R.E. program worked really well on these girls. What's a DABs of the Week and is it you? You NEED to add cursing your exes to your skincare routine. Taking a BDSM assessment is like an enneagram for sexual deviance. The girls talk about dating someone who is respectful of your hobbies and time, being transparent, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, July 22, 2020
E6 The Good Word
Excuse me, do you have a few minutes to talk about The Good Word of Aftercare? The girls talk about what aftercare is and why everyone should be doing it. Does he Kirby you when you make out? And Liz is into BDSM and is the only one who didn't know, apparently. Xoxo, Go$$ip Gurl. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Mon, July 13, 2020
The New Testament E2
Amelia stars in Crank and keeps her heart rate up in a unique way while she drives, and Liz wants to be crushed by a brick house like the Wicked Witch of the East. In this mini episode, Amelia answer questions from listeners about threesomes, masturbation, and porn. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, July 08, 2020
E5 The Whisper 'Sode
Do you know what your "focus face" looks like? Is your man the Jackson Pollock of ejaculation? Do you love this shit? Are you high right now? Are you in a place to relieve information that might possibly turn you on? Liz will break all of your small cups, and Amelia sounds like she's talking from the other side of the room because we're low budget over here. (Pro tip: listen with headphones!) *Trigger warning, sexual assault: 43:00-60 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, July 01, 2020
E4 NP (Rated) R
The internet’s hottest podcast is The Hoely Hour. This episode has everything: glory sheets, cheating married men, trouser ejaculation, Jack Nicholson butt plugs, and NPR but it’s porn. Amelia and Liz share hook up horror stories that could be plot lines from a soap opera. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Mon, June 29, 2020
The New Testament E1
Different sex drives, public sex, and dates with dictators who just really love chili. The girls give candid updates on their love lives and read stories and questions from listeners in the first episode of The New Testament! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Thu, June 25, 2020
E3 How I DM'd Your Mother
Thirst traps so good, dudes wanna meet you like his name is Ted Mosby. Social media FBI agents Liz and Amelia share how to find out if someone’s ex blocked them, Amelia has a beard kink, and Liz sexts a guy with an Oedipus obsession. And one listener shares an interesting sex story… let’s just say there’s a new meaning “big ass Sharpie.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, June 17, 2020
E2 A Sad, Dry Handjob
Soulmates, 2nd draft picks, and dumb fucks with fish, oh my! The girls talk about some of their weirdest dating app experiences and give advice to a listener who wants to date a fuccboi. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Wed, June 10, 2020
E1 We're Your Boyfriends Now
Meet your hosts! Amelia had a poster of her crush under her bed, Liz watches porn on mute, and you're lying if you say you've never cried listening to Coldplay. The girls take turns asking and answering questions and telling stories! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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