Battle Royale: French Monarchs
Passing judgement on all the Kings and Emperors of France from Clovis to Napoleon III. Each episode, Ben recounts the story of a monarch to Eliza, then together they decide on how to score them in 5 categories. But who will they select as the crème de la crème, and who will they send to the Guillotine? Proudly inspired by the Rex Factor podcast.
S1 E60 · Sun, April 27, 2025
Louis XIV, Part 2
This episode we talk about the zenith and slow decline of the sun king. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Contact us by Email , or follow us on Instagram , our Facebook Group or BlueSky . Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ BattleRoyale's intro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . Our outro music this episode is the " Sarabande for the King's Bedtime " by Jean-Baptiste Lully, performed by Ernst Stolz and the Violes de Gambe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E60 · Sun, April 20, 2025
Louis XIV, Part 1
The Sun King is risen. This episode, we chronicle the first half of Louis XIV's life, from his earliest years of civil war and turbulence to the apex of his power. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. Contact us by Email , or follow us on Instagram , our Facebook Group or BlueSky . You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses. ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . Our outro music for this episode is a fanfare composed by Jean-Baptiste Lully, the premier composer of Louis XIV's court. Listen to the full recording on YouTube. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E59 · Thu, March 06, 2025
59.5 - Anne of Austria
You've heard of the Sun King, but what about his mother? From Infanta of Spain to Regent of France, Anne of Austria's 50-year career is a rollercoaster of intrigue, family drama and civil war. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E59 · Mon, February 03, 2025
59 - Louis XIII
The Louis XIII of Alexandre Dumas's "The Three Musketeers" is a comically naïve and easily manipulated do-nothing king, dominated by his scheming chief minister Cardinal Richelieu. But as we're about to learn, the history is a little more complicated when you consider that Louis did have military victories, he struggled against debilitating chronic illness, and France owes a lot more than expected to his partnership with the cardinal. But is this enough to spare Louis XIII from the guillotine? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E58 · Mon, January 06, 2025
58.5 - Marie de' Medici
After seizing the regency upon the death of Henry IV, will the second Medici to rule France be as successful as the first? Get ready for court intrigue, family drama and shocking twists of fate. To view Marie's most famous series of depictions, Rubens's "Marie de' Medici Cycle", head to the Louvre website to view all 20+ paintings together. They are possibly the most spectacular paintings we have ever talked about on the podcast! ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for the rest of our episode images, as well as our score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megap
S1 E58 · Mon, December 09, 2024
58 - Henry IV, Part 2
How will "Good King Henry" fare as we rate him? We know he spent his reign fighting, drinking and womanising, but what did he do for France? And more importantly, was he really the second coming of Hercules? Let is know what you thought of Henry, and whether he deserves the fate we've given him... ⚜️ The rendition of "Vive Henri IV" used for this episode was performed by Les Quatre Barbus, released in 1993 by Playtime records on the album "Les Compositeurs: Les Plus Belles Musiques de Films de René Cloërec" by René Cloërec. It is available to stream on Spotify or YouTube . ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, <a
S1 E58 · Mon, December 02, 2024
58 - Henry IV, Part 1
We're back!!! And we're starting off a new royal line with Henry IV, the first Bourbon king. Is this stinky, ill-mannered heretic really the hero France has been waiting for after 30 years of civil war? Stay tuned for Part 2 next week, when we will rate Henry and decide whether he deserves the guillotine. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E57 · Fri, September 20, 2024
57.5 - Marguerite de Valois (Queen Margot), Part 2
It's time for Margot to truly REBEL. How will Margot's rollercoaster end, and how will she rate compared to the rest of the Valois clan? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E57 · Thu, September 12, 2024
57.5 - Marguerite de Valois (Queen Margot), Part 1
The last surviving of the Valois, this beautiful and intelligent princess is often seen as either a victim or a villain, but the memoirs she left behind and the reevaluation of modern historians show a different side to her story. She was a woman who struggled to find agency and self-determination in a world where the cards were stacked against her from the start. Can Margot break free of her abusive, conniving family and help bring an end to the senseless violence that engulfs her country? Stay tuned for Part 2, where we learn Margot's ultimate fate and her legacy. ⚜️ Special thanks to Ben's colleague Sarah, an Edinburgh tour guide originally from Bordeaux, for giving a voice to Margot. ⚜️ Music used in this episode: "SCP-x6x (Hopes)" Kevin MacLeod ( incompetech.com ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ "Interloper" Kevin MacLeod ( incompetech.com ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship
Bonus · Sat, August 24, 2024
Ranking Roundup #3 - The House of Valois
Au revoir, Valois! We have now ranked all the kings of France belonging to the House of Valois, the cadet branch of the Capetian dynasty which reigned supreme from 1328 to 1589. Before they take a well-earned break and start gearing up for the Bourbon kings, Ben and Eliza step back to re-examine the Valois. Who did the best? Who did the worst? And who escaped the guillotine? Spoilers incoming, obviously! Our outro music is Hildegard von Blingin's cover of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel. Thanks to Hildegard for a bunch amazing bardcore remixes, which we have also used on Patreon! You can check out the full song and Hildegard's other work here. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E57 · Mon, August 12, 2024
57 - Henry III
This week we delve into the treacherous, tumultuous and frankly bizarre reign of King Henry III, who is certainly unlike any other king we've seen thus far! Will his entertaining shenanigans earn him a place in the tournament? And how much of his scandalous legacy is historical fact? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E56 · Mon, July 29, 2024
56.5 - Catherine de' Medici, Part 2
This episode, we close out Catherine de' Medici's life and give her a score. How does this notorious queen measure up against the likes of Charlemagne and Philip Augustus? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E56 · Fri, July 26, 2024
56.5 - Catherine de' Medici, Part 1
In our first part of the endlessly fascinating life that is Catherine de' Medici's, we chart her rise from an orphaned Italian "merchant's daughter" to the Queen-Mother of Europe's most prestigious kingdom. Next episode, we will conclude the story and ask ourselves, is she really the scheming sorceress history has made us believe? Well ... she's no angel, that's for sure! ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E56 · Sat, July 06, 2024
56 - Charles IX
There will be blood. ⚜️ A summary of the major political figures in this episode (most of whom will be dead by the end): Catherine de' Medici, ruling on behalf of her son Charles IX, a moderating force between the factions (at first) The Ultra-Catholics: Duke Henry of Anjou, Charles IX's precocious younger brother The Duke and Cardinal de Guise, recently kicked out of power Anne de Montmorency, Constable of France, an elderly veteran The Huguenot Protestants and their sympathisers: Antoine de Bourbon, an idiot, first Prince of the Blood and a moderate Catholic Jeanne III, Queen of Navarre, his wife, a radical Protestant, with whom he has a son Henry of Navarre Louis, Prince of Condé, his ambitious brother, also a Protestant Gaspard de Coligny, Admiral of France, a charismatic Protestant general, nephew of Montmorency ⚜️ Our "Wars of Religion" theme is taken from a recording of the Huguenot "Psalm 24". The full track is available on Youtube . As we were unable to find the original source for this music, please let us know if you have any information so that we can properly credit the artist. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous:
S1 E55 · Sun, June 23, 2024
55 - Francis II (ft. Mary, Queen of Scots)
After the sudden demise of his father, young Francis II struggles to grasp his new responsibilities as King of France. Meanwhile, his ambitious young wife Mary Stuart and her relatives, the Guise family, make their first big bid for power. And the rumbles of religious unrest in France are only getting louder... ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E54 · Sat, June 08, 2024
54 - Henry II
He's the husband of Catherine de' Medici, the lover of Diane de Poitiers, the father-in-law of Mary, Queen of Scots. Can Henry II stand out in a period dominated by these legendary women? How will he fare against the might of the Hapsburg Empire? And how will he reconcile his religion with the unlikely allies he has to make? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E53 · Sat, April 27, 2024
53 - Francis I (Part 2)
It's time to pass judgement on Francis I, deciding whether or not King Big-Nose deserves the guillotine! With this monarch, we enter a new age of Protestant rebellions, American colonialism and Hapsburg domination. Did Francis rise to meet these new challenges, or was he just a blustering fool? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E53 · Sun, April 21, 2024
53 - Francis I (Part 1)
The long-awaited Renaissance king has finally arrived! This episode we go through the big moments his life from birth to death, from his famous meeting with Henry VIII at the Field of Cloth of Gold to his disastrous imprisonment in Spain. Next episode, we will be examining Francis's reign and legacy in further detail, and determining whether or not he will escape the guillotine! ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E52 · Sun, April 07, 2024
52.5 - Louise of Savoy
From unwanted daughter to first lady of France, this episode we chart the gradual rise of Louise of Savoy - the mother, mentor and "great regent" of King Francis I. We'll see how she measures up to other French rulers of her time, and see whether she gets to sit in the VIP Box with our other impressive matriarchs. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E52 · Sun, March 24, 2024
52 - Louis XII (Part 2)
Now that we've done his life, let's pass judgement on Louis XII, AKA the Porcupine! Does he deserve a place among the great kings of French history, or is he just another snack for the guillotine? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E52 · Sun, March 17, 2024
52 - Louis XII (Part 1)
After a life spent in second place to his royal cousins, how will the Duke of Orléans fare with his new promotion to King of France? Stay tuned for Part 2, where we discuss Louis's legacy and rate him, with special appearances from porcupines, vipers and bees (oh my!). ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E51 · Sun, March 03, 2024
51.5 - Anne of Brittany (Part 2)
In Part 2, we learn of Anne's second marriage and her ultimate fate! Does she deserve the score she got? Were the unicorn tapestries inspired by her? Was she the Taylor Swift of her time? Flock to our social media and let us know! Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives, bonus biographies and our exclusive spinoff series rating the Royal Mistresses! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E51 · Sun, February 25, 2024
51.5 - Anne of Brittany (Part 1)
This episode, we take a brief detour from the Valois boys to visit gorgeous Brittany and give our latest queen, Anne, her own episode, as she was also a fierce ruler in her own right, and fought for her independence from a very young age. In Part 1, we learn about Anne's early life, her dangerous liaisons with the Austrian Hapsburgs, and her complicated first marriage to Charles VIII of France. But things will get even messier and more dramatic in Part 2, when we learn of Anne's ultimate fate and see if she deserves to be considered one of the greats of French (and Breton!) history. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E51 · Sun, February 11, 2024
51 - Charles VIII (Part 2)
As we reach the shocking end of Charles the Affable, we'll see how he measures up to his fellow kings of France. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E51 · Sun, February 04, 2024
51 - Charles VIII (Part 1)
Charles VIII's exciting and storied reign takes us on an adventure (i.e. invasion) of Italy at the height of the Renaissance and all the soap-opera-worthy drama of the Medici, Sforza and Borgia families. In Part 1, we learn what led him to this fateful expedition, and how he did with his great ambition to conquer the Kingdom of Naples. Apologies for the audio quality this episode, which is not up to our current standard. We had to use a backup file for Eliza's audio and the quality was not as good as usual. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E6 · Mon, January 29, 2024
Regency of Madness - Results & Quiz!
It's time for us to close up a loose end and finally announce the winner of the Regency of Madness mini-tournament. And to help refresh our memories, Ben has also trapped Eliza in a quiz! So put on your thinking chapeaux, and get ready for some Valois trivia. SPOILERS (obviously) for everything that happened in our Regency of Madness miniseries. We hope you enjoyed the ride! ALSO, this Saturday, come join a group of us Rexypod hosts in a Youtube livestream of "King of the Castle" ! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E50 · Sat, January 20, 2024
50.5 - Anne of France
Also called Anne de Beaujeu or Madame la Grande, this princess inherited all the best traits of her father the Universal Spider. Like him she was cunning and ruthless, yet she also had an eye for art and literature, updating the court for the new Renaissance era. Sadly for France, as a woman she would never become queen, but she did rule the realm for almost a decade on behalf of her little brother Charles VIII. Yet still, in the modern day, Anne of France is usually overshadowed by other great women of the 16th Century like Anne of Brittany, Louise of Savoy and Margaret of Austria. But did you know they all got their start at Anne of France's court? It's time to shed some light on a forgotten matriarch, and see how she ranks compared to our kings! ⚜️ Meanwhile, on the Mistress series - head to our Patreon to hear about the first official royal mistress Agnès Sorel, stay tuned for her successor Antoinette de Maignelais, coming next week, and support the podcast in the process! ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, ho
S1 E50 · Sun, January 07, 2024
50 - Louis XI (Part 2)
Louis XI, the Universal Spider, is perhaps the ultimate antihero. We've rooted for him every step of the way as he takes down his enemies and returns France to its former glory. But how will this translate in his scores? Will he beat Charles VII, the father he loathed? And will he be deemed worthy to escape the guillotine? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E50 · Sun, December 31, 2023
50 - Louis XI (Part 1)
France may be out of the Hundred Years' War, but it's not out of the woods, and none knows this better than the suspicious, cynical and sinister character that is Louis XI. After an early life spent bickering with his father and fellow princes, Louis comes to the throne with a vengeance. But will his ambitions get the better of him? Next episode, things get juicy as we delve into the everyday life of this controversial king, and how he governed his realm. Will he be sent to the guillotine? Tune in next week! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Bonus · Sat, December 23, 2023
Introducing Battle Royale: French Mistresses
We hope you are all enjoying the festive season! We have a very special Christmas present for you all this year, and it's the gift of the scandal, skullduggery and saucy shenanigans that are in store as we commence our much-anticipated spinoff series ranking all the official mistresses of France from Agnès Sorel to Madame du Barry. Thank you to Rob from the Totalus Rankium podcast for composing our theme for this new series! This episode is just a teaser for what awaits you if you sign up to the "Boudoir" tier on our Patreon , or any of the above tiers. The full first episode is out now, and our episode on our first contestant Agnès Sorel will be out in 2 weeks' time. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E49 · Sun, December 17, 2023
49 - Charles VII
He may be "Charles the Victorious", for finally ending the Hundred Years' War, but this king has a somewhat mixed reputation among historians. This episode, we learn what happened after Joan of Arc and the Regents of Madness, and how France recovered from a century of devastation. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E48 · Sun, December 03, 2023
48.5 - Joan of Arc (Part 2)
It's all downhill from here. 🔥 ⚜️ Recommended reading from this episode: Helen Castor, Joan of Arc: A History Larissa Juliet Taylor, The Virgin Warrior: The Life and Death of Joan of Arc Nancy Goldstone, The Maid and the Queen: The Secret History of Joan of Arc ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices"
S1 E48 · Sun, November 26, 2023
48.5 - Joan of Arc (Part 1)
The Maid of Orléans is well-known for having taken the intricate chessboard of the Hundred Years' War, tipped it upside down, kicked it across a field and scored a game-changing goal for the Blues after decades of decline. In the first of her well-earned 2-parter, we follow Joan of Arc's rise to prominence from peasant to saviour, and conclude at the moment of her greatest glory. But that means it's all downhill into tragedy and scandal for Part 2... ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E48 · Sun, November 19, 2023
48 - Charles VI
It's now time to review the life and deeds of the "mad king" himself, Charles VI. In this episode, we talk about what the king was like before his mental illness took over, and what the darkest period of the Hundred Years' War was like from his tragic perspective. ⚜️ Music used in this episode: "Virtutes Instrumenti", "Lagoa v2" Kevin MacLeod ( incompetech.com ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E5 · Sun, November 05, 2023
Regency of Madness 5/5 - Charles of Orléans VS John of Bedford - ft. Passed
Our final two Regents of Madness bring the Hundred Year's War to its apotheosis. Henry V's brother Bedford was Charles VI's regent at the very end of his life, but Ben has uncovered that this English occupier was so much more than just a villain in our story. Meanwhile Veronica from Passed Podcast joins us once again, this time to take us through Charles of Orléans epic journey from orphan to rebel to POW to poet, and finally to peacemaker. But the Regency of Madness is not entirely finished! It's now up to YOU to VOTE on who you believe is the Supremest of the Supreme Regents. If you are subscribed to our Patreon , you get an extra vote as well!!! ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are rank
S2 E4 · Mon, October 30, 2023
Regency of Madness 4/5 - Isabeau of Bavaria VS Yolande of Aragon - ft. Queens
Katy from Queens Podcast joins us for the showdown of showdowns: Isabeau VS Yolande, the Queen of France VS the "Queen of Four Kingdoms". As we go through their lives, we see the Hundred Years' War from the women's perspective and address some of the most controversial aspects of these queens' lives - from Isabeau's alleged affair during her husband's madness, to Yolande's ambitious conspiracy to make Joan of Arc "a thing". Once again, make sure you grab your tickets for Intelligent Speech on November 4th 2023 and use the discount code ROYALE at checkout! ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="
S2 E3 · Mon, October 23, 2023
Regency of Madness 3/5 - John the Fearless VS Bernard of Armagnac - ft. Grand Dukes of the West
Get your tickets for Intelligent Speech Online (November 4th 2023) and use discount code ROYALE Josh Zucker from the Grand Dukes of the West podcast joins us to talk about yet another Duke of Burgundy, John the Fearless. And while John may not match his father for statecraft or shrewdness, he more than makes up for it in scandaliciousness. How will Ben's rival candidate, Bernard of Armagnac, fare against John in this posthumous showdown? In this episode you'll hear a rendition of "Reveillez-Vous, Picards", a folk song sung by Burgundian soldiers in the 15th Century. If you enjoyed it, the full track is available on YouTube , however we were unable to find the original artist. If you know who we should credit with this absolute banger, please let us know! Join us again next week when we'll have on Katy of the Queens podcast to talk about two great matriarchs of the Hundred Years' War: Yolande of Aragon and Isabeau of Bavaria. Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Support the show Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world
S2 E2 · Sun, September 24, 2023
Regency of Madness 2/5 - Louis of Bourbon VS John of Berry - ft. Passed
Veronica from Passed podcast joins us for our second foray into the regents of Charles VI. This time, we're covering his two remaining uncles. Veronica will cover Louis II, Duke of Bourbon (the nice uncle) while Ben covers John, Duke of Berry (the fun uncle). Which of them will Eliza deem to be the superior regent? While Bourbon looks out for his nephew's best interest and Berry throws another raucous feast, the Orléans-Burgundian rivalry rages on in the leadup to the disastrous Battle of Agincourt. This episode features a couple snippets of 14th Century composer Guillaume de Machaut's song "Douce Dame Jolie", performed in 2009 by Annwn. Check out the full track on YouTube or Spotify ! Next time, Josh from Grand Dukes of the West will be returning, this time to cover Philip of Burgundy's son John the Fearless. Meanwhile Ben will be covering Count Bernard VII of Armagnac, the infamous leader of the anti-Burgundian army raised in the French civil war. Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
S2 E1 · Sun, September 17, 2023
Regency of Madness 1/5 - Philip the Bold (of Burgundy) VS Louis of Orléans - ft. Grand Dukes of the West
Josh Zucker from the Grand Dukes of the West podcast joins us for the first episode in our 5-part miniseries on the regents of King Charles VI of France. This episode, we're pitting Josh's candidate Philip of Burgundy against Ben's candidate Louis of Orléans, and seeing which of them Eliza deems to be the supreme regent. In this episode, we'll see the kickoff of the infamous rivalry between the Orléanist and Burgundian branches of the House of Valois. And if you think this episode is chaotic, you ain't seen nothing yet! Throughout this episode you'll hear a rendition of "Reveillez-Vous, Picards", a folk song sung by Burgundian soldiers in the 15th Century. If you enjoyed it, the full track is available on YouTube , however we were unable to find the original artist. If you know who we should credit with this absolute banger, please let us know! Join us again next week when we'll have on Veronica Fortune of the Passed podcast to compare the "nice uncles" John of Berry and Louis of Bourbon, though there's plenty more scandal to be had between these two. Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world
Bonus · Sun, July 16, 2023
Special Announcement! - Intelligent Speech Conference 2023
Go to intelligentspeechonline.com to get your early bird tickets for 4 November! And stay tuned for more announcements about when Ben will be speaking and what his topic will be. Remember to use the discount code "Royale" to get a further 10% off! ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Bonus · Fri, July 14, 2023
Bastille Day D&D Special - The Beast of Saint Ulphia
To celebrate both the National Day of France and the second anniversary of the podcast, Ben is running a game of Dungeons and Dragons with Eliza and three special guests, inspired by the beast of Gévaudan, the legend of Saint Ulphia, and numerous other easter eggs from the podcast which astute listeners can find! Check out Roberto’s podcasts History of Saqartvelo Georgia and Tsar Power, as well as Bry and Fry’s podcast Pontifacts! Thanks again to all three for joining us to celebrate this special day and play our silly game. All the music in this episode is courtesy of Kevin MacLeod, and can be found royalty free on his website incompetech.com. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ . With one exception!! The dulcimer is played by Jessica Comeau. Check out the full video of her playing this gorgeous instrument on her Youtube ! ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were
S1 E47 · Mon, June 19, 2023
47 - Charles V (Part 2)
In the second half of our Charles V episode, we give him his scores and decide whether or not he should be admitted to the Battle Royale Tournament. In this episode, we get to see in great detail what Charles's court was like, thanks to the writing of Christine de Pizan (A WOMAN?!), plus we delve into some trouble in paradise between him and his cousin-wife Joan of Bourbon. Also he, like us, is a big fan of castles and libraries, and stayed away from forests and horses... ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E47 · Fri, June 16, 2023
47 - Charles V (Part 1)
The Hundred Years' War rages on, and the young Dauphin Charles upon becoming king is one of the most scrawny, disease-addled kings we've ever had. But with some strategic alliances, some tax reforms, and a bit of help from a random knight emerging from the woods, he just might be able to turn this ship around. Listen to the end for "Pope Slap 2: Revenge of the Pope" (AKA the Western Schism). And stay tuned for Part 2 of Charles V, in which we'll be giving Charles his score and going into more detail about his rule, with a special appearance from the great writer Christine de Pizan! ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E46 · Wed, May 31, 2023
46 - John II
How good was John the Good? Despite his dedication to honour and chivalry, John's reign is a hot mess, starting with the first outbreak of the Black Death, escalating into a murderous blood feud with Charles the Bad, and ending with a fun "holiday" with the Black Prince. Is John's personal courage and hutzpah enough to get him into the tournament, or will his lack of patience and wisdom be his downfall? Check out our friend Josh's podcast Grand Dukes of the West to learn more about the powerful land that will become a real thorn in France's side: Burgundy. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.
S1 E45 · Wed, May 17, 2023
45 - Philip VI
There's SO MUCH to cover in this episode! We didn't plan for a 2-parter and the recording ended up being very long, so we put a poll across our social media (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram) and a narrow majority voted for us to release it all at once, so DEAL WITH IT. You'll hear a snippet of Gustav Holst's "Mars" (performed by the Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra) at the halfway point when the Hundred Years' War officially starts. If you would prefer to listen to the episode in 2 parts, that's a good point to take a break. But now to the actual episode description... Philip VI is between a rock and a hard place at the start of his reign. He has to assert himself as the first king in the new House of Valois, while not pissing off his many vassals and the courtiers who got him where he is. And then there's bloody England... This episode covers the origins of the House of Valois with Count Charles and Countess Margaret, the leadup to the Hundred Years' War, and the fateful campaigns of Edward III. Not to mention... TOO MANY JOANS. Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? H
Bonus · Mon, May 01, 2023
Capetian Retrospective with Dr Gary Girod (The French History Podcast)
As the final capstone to the Direct Capetian Kings of France, we've invited Gary from THE French History podcast to talk power centralisation, the Crusade craze and the original Louvre fortress. We also get Ben recapping our history in a bad Scottish accent, and Eliza airing a controversial opinion about the Supermario brothers. In 2 weeks we will return with the first king of a fresh spicy new family: the Valois!!! Though as I've said many times, I can't promise them a smooth start... ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen. You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Bonus · Mon, April 17, 2023
Ranking Roundup #2
Before we delve into the Valois kings and the Hundred Years' War, it's time to take a breath and have a look back at the dynasty of Hugh Capet, and how they've compared to kings that came before. This latest series of episodes has certainly had its share of dark horses and shocking upsets. To follow our discussion today and see how all our kings and emperors are ranking, head to our new Leaderboard ! ⚜️ Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on Patreon ! Join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E44 · Wed, April 05, 2023
44.5 - Joan II of Navarre (ft. The Black Death!)
Born into scandal and passed over for the throne several times, Little Jeannette finally got herself a throne at the age of 16, albeit not the one she had probably wanted... Nonetheless, Joan made the best of a bad situation and proved herself just as good as (if not better than) her male usurpers... that is, until a certain plague came knocking. Memento mori. - Remember, you will die. The main source for this episode (aside from Ben's extensive plague knowledge) was Elena Woodacre's 2013 book "The Queens Regnant of Navarre". Would highly recommend checking it out to learn more about Joan I, Joan II and their descendant queens! ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, <a href=
S1 E44 · Mon, March 20, 2023
44 - Charles IV (ft. Isabella the She-Wolf)
In 1325, the Queen of England returns to her native France, and this time the She-Wolf is out for blood... Oh, and Charles IV is also here! Will the runt of the Capetian litter be able to break the Curse of the Templars? Well, the short answer is a big fat NOPE. With the Hundred Years' War and the Black Death right around the corner, the omens are looking ominous. The Golden Century of St Louis is at an end, and France is about to plunge into an era of true calamity. But hey, at least we're friends with Scotland now. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choic
S1 E43 · Mon, March 06, 2023
43 - Philip V
Philip the Tall is not only built like a maypole, but has some fantastic ideas about how to get France out of its crisis period. As the middle son of the great Philip IV, he may have been overlooked in his youth, but now it's time for him to step over the corpse of his infant nephew, shove aside his 4-year-old niece and claim the crown for himself. While he definitely gets an A for Effort, Philip is about to find out that doing your best sometimes just isn't good enough, especially when you're dealing with natural disasters, fanatical shepherds and the ever-present Curse of the Templars. ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, vi
S1 E42 · Sat, February 25, 2023
42 - John I
John the Posthumous (born after the death of his father) had a long and successful reign. The end. We also have a quiz this episode! Have a look on our Wordpress for the quiz questions and this episode's Enchanté Images. ⚜️ Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to bonus content. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E41 · Mon, February 13, 2023
41 - Louis X
Louis "le Hutin" (the Turbulent, Quarrelsome or Stubborn) is yet another Louis with big shoes to fill - both from his formidable father Philip IV and from his zealous namesake Saint Louis IX. But Louis has very little time to deal with famines, curses and civil unrest. He's too busy playing his favourite new sport: tennis! As if he didn't have enough balls in his court (see what I did there?), Louis's reign begins with a scandal at the very core of the French royal family; the infamous Tour de Nesle Affair. That's right, we're FINALLY talking about it! This scandal will have major rammifications down the line as the Capetian Dynasty struggles for the first time with an uncertain succession. Not that Louis will be around to witness it ... ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?
S1 E40 · Mon, January 30, 2023
40 - Philip IV
Philip the Fair, also called "the Iron King", is about to prove himself a real dark horse in our little competition! Quiet but cunning, from a young age he proved himself a very prudent man but not afraid to execute ruthless moves when he needed to. As well as fighting wars on all fronts, Philip consolidated and improved upon the gains of previous kings using a very special new weapon ... LAWYERS. He'll use them to ensnare even the most untouchable enemies, from the holy order of the Templars to the Pope himself. Let the reign of the Pigeon begin!!! ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Lear
S1 E39 · Sun, January 22, 2023
39.5 - Joan I of Navarre
Joan I became Queen of Navarre at 18 months old, and Queen of France at 12 years old. Due to her age and gender, she was prevented from taking a very active role in either kingdom. Her life saw an endless barrage of men trying to dim her light - from the cold man she married, to the foes invading her lands, to the vindictive bishop who may have cursed her with witchcraft. But throughout her tragically brief existence, Joan handled herself with a grace and dignity that set the bar high for the next generation ... not least her sole surviving daughter, Isabella "the She-Wolf" of France. Joan's episode serves as a nice prelude to that of her husband, Philip IV, whom many of our listeners have been looking forward to since the start! Now that we're back on schedule with our recordings, expect that episode to be released next week!! Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: H
Bonus · Mon, January 16, 2023
Vercingetorix (Patreon Teaser)
Eliza is under the weather, but we didn't want to leave you guys without an episode! So we're taking a break from the 13th Century and going back into the 1st... BC. This is a special release of our Patreon episode about Vercingetorix, King of the Gauls, who unified his people and fought to the bitter end against the conquest of Julius Caesar. Join our Angry Mob at the Economy+ tier at patreon.com/battleroyalepodcast , to access all our other Patreon episodes, including: - Ranking the Noble Houses of France (c.1000CE) - Ratatouille (film review) - Vercingetorix (full episode) - Robert Guiscard - Vikings (2015) - The Siege of Paris - Carcassonne, Cathars and Crusaders - Margaret the Black, Countess of Flanders To get the latest updates on the podcast (including Eliza's recovery!), find us on: Facebook Twitter Instagram Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E39 · Sun, December 11, 2022
39 - Philip III
Philip the Bold's reign doesn't get off to a great start. Not only is his father dead, but he is sick with dysentery, losing a siege on the failed Eighth Crusade. Once he's made his way back to France, will he be able to do his father's legacy justice, or will dysentery once again get the last laugh? Back in Paris, Philip's court is rife with faction-fighting between an excess of Capetian princes and a rising class of bureaucrats. But the real conflict happens between Ben and Eliza, as he tries to explain what an "appanage" is and she keeps derailing the conversation to ask the real questions: Does he look like a shrew, a potteroo, or another very specific small mammal? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculat
S1 E38 · Mon, November 28, 2022
38 - Saint Louis IX
When Louis IX comes of age, taking over from his mother and regent Blanche, France finds itself at the apex of its medieval golden age. The young king manages to prove his mettle fending off English invasions and internal rebellions, bringing the royal domain's power to new heights. But kings rarely age gracefully... When thoughts turn to a risky and costly crusade, will Louis's luck run out? How will his desire to purge France of its sins effect his people for better and for worse? And does he ultimately deserve to be our only king to have been canonised a saint? ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website
S1 E37 · Mon, November 14, 2022
37.5 - Blanche of Castile
More than just a stop-gap between Louis VIII and IX, Blanche of Castile proved definitively that a woman could not only rule France but lead its armies and redefine its culture. She was the granddaughter of Eleanor of Aquitaine, who hand-picked her as a daughter-in-law to Philip Augustus, whose legacy she would uphold in the face of numerous threats; from English invasions to fanatical peasants. ⚜️ Blanche's song, Amour ou trop tard me suis pris, is performed by the Ensemble de Musique ancienne. The full recording is available on YouTube and Spotify . ⚜️ Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their childre
S1 E37 · Tue, November 01, 2022
37 - Louis VIII
This week, we get to know King Louis I of England. Yep, you heard that right! But his role as the Capetian who just about became King of England in the days of Robin Hood isn't the only fascinating thing about Louis the Lion's life. Though he was the heir for many years and king for very few, Louis manages to cram a lot of action into one life. And a lot of bubs, too! It helps when your wife is the fabulous Blanche of Castile. Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Bonus · Sun, October 16, 2022
Halloween Fairy Tales with Elspeth Olson
This week we invited on our resident librarian Elspeth Olson to talk one of our biggest mutual interests: fairy tales! Ben and Elspeth each tell a tale from 17th Century author Charles Perrault about horrifically wronged women, while Eliza branches out with a Japanese fairy tale about a woman who got a revenge of demonic proportions! We swear, this was not a coordinated theme... Go and follow Elspeth on Instagram , and check out her Etsy store , where she sells handmade ornaments, embroidered bookmarks and other gorgeous things! Ben's tale is "Bluebeard" from the 1900 edition of Charles Perrault's Tales of Past Times , available for free on Project Gutenberg. Elspeth's tale is "Donkey-Skin" by Charles Perrault, as found in The Great Fairy Tale Tradition: From Straparola and Basile to the Brothers Grimm , edited by Jack Zipes, 2001. Eliza's tale is the story of Hashihime or "Princess Hashi", as told in Haunted Japan: Exploring the World of Japanese Yokai, Ghosts and the Paranormal by Catrien Ross, 2020. Featured music: " The Carnival of Animals: Aquarium " by Camille Saint-Saëns. " Concerto for Harpsichord " by Antonio Vivaldi. Japanese Taiko Drums from Limitless Copyright. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and
S1 E36 · Wed, October 05, 2022
36 - Philip II Augustus (Part 2)
In the second episode on Philip II's jam-packed reign, we step back and look at the broader picture, considering how Philip ruled, the impact he made on France, and whether he truly deserved the epithet "Augustus". He quadroupled the royal domain, he cleaned up the city of Paris and he ushered in a cultural golden age. But his dealings with the Jews and Cathars gave us pause; this king is no angel. Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E36 · Tue, September 27, 2022
36 - Philip II Augustus (Part 1)
Though he's often overshadowed by his flashy ex-boyfriend Richard the Lionheart, Philip II is one of the most famous medieval kings for a reason. So much happens in his reign, that he is the first monarch since Charlemagne who gets a two-part episode! But things aren't looking good for France at the end of Louis VII's llacklustre reign, which saw the Angevin Empire gobble up the Left of France. Through strategic marriages, sneaky plots and a crusade so stressful it made all his hair fall out, will Philip be able to turn things around, and live up to the epithet Augustus? Join us next week for Part 2, when we delve deeper into how Philip reigned and find out whether he was an ingenious nation-builder or a piggish vampire! Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on th
S1 E35 · Tue, September 13, 2022
35 - Louis VII
Our seventh Louis, called Louis the Young, is overshadowed by practically everyone around him (his dad, his wife, his vassals, his friends, his enemies... the list goes on). But as times go, the middle of the 12th Century was certainly an interesting one. In this episode, once Louis VII gets back from his disastrous crusade and finally splits with Eleanor of Aquitaine, we witness the end of the English Anarchy in the north, the Rise of the Angevin Empire just to the west, and the looming presence of Emperor Frederick Barbarossa just to the east. How well can our pious, pliant and prudish donkey Louis hold onto his father's hard-won possessions in the face of such threats? Is the zealous Thomas Becket the key to bringing down those pesky Angevins? And what role will the ever-present Blois faction have in finally getting Louis the heir for whom he has prayed in vain? Find out this week! Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? H
S1 E34 · Thu, September 01, 2022
34.5 - Eleanor of Aquitaine
Our most anticipated episode for some time has finally arrived! In this episode, we examine Eleanor's life outside of the English perspective through which she is too often seen. We mainly look at her relationship with her first husband Louis VII and her role as Duchess of Aquitaine in her own right. Is Eleanor truly great enough to sit among our VIPs to watch the final tournament? How many of our kings will she put to shame with her score? Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices<
S1 E34 · Mon, August 15, 2022
34 - Louis VI
Louis the Fat was so much more than an unflattering nickname. He owes a lot to his chronicler and best bro Suger for building his reputation as the first truly great Capetian king. But is that a reputation he lives up to? Find out this episode... Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E33 · Mon, August 01, 2022
33 - Philip I
King Philip the Amorous got his name for following his heart rather than his head, which of course got him into big trouble with the church. The chronicler monks (often from rival principalities) got carte-blanche to drag him through the mud more ruthlessly than Regina George could have dreamed of ( Mean GIrls is required viewing for this podcast, by the way). But there was no stopping Philip, who kept France chugging along, out of the turmoil of the Dark Ages and towards brand new dangers: the Norman Conquest of England, the First Crusade and the ever-present threat of the Pope's righteous wrath. Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, <a href="https://battleroyalepodcast.word
S1 E32 · Tue, July 19, 2022
32.5 - Anne of Kyiv
She may now be a symbol of friendship between France and Ukraine, but who was the real Anne of Kyiv? In 1060, the sophisticated and gentlehearted Anne of Kyiv finds herself a widowed queen in a strange land. She has a duty to rule in her son Philip's name, yet she is tempted into a potential scandal by the infamous Ralph of Crépy. Find out what becomes of this intriguing queen-regent, and what seating we give her in our final tournament. 🌻 Please help the people of Ukraine! Taking us out of history for a moment, we want to take this opportunity to remind you that the people of Ukraine are in dire need of our help. We have fun on this podcast, but the ongoing atrocities committed by Russia are no laughing matter. Follow our links below to recommended charities, which will aid the stranded or fleeing people of Ukraine: Unicef Voices of Children United Help Ukraine Sunflower of Peace Also, follow and support free speech and real news at the Kyiv Independent . Слава Україні! 🌻 Lastly, check out our friends at the Tsar Power podcast, who will rank all the Russian rulers from Anne's ancestor Rurik, all the way to the jerk who currently resides in the Kremlin. Whether you see it as getting to know Anne's relatives or getting to know your enemy, we think this new addition to the RexyPod family is going to be a real gem! Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribu Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions ro
Bonus · Sun, July 10, 2022
Bastille Day Special with Tudoriferous and Ranking '76
It's been 1 year since our god-awful first episode was released, and we are once again celebrating la fête nationale , this time with guests! We've pulled out all the stops for an international panel of RexyPods (podcasts with formats inspired by Rex Factor ) that are also coming up to their first birthday. The six of us hosts discuss our process when it comes to podcasting about our historical niches, from our origins as friends and hosts to the eternal battle with temperamental technology and rude reviews. Tudoriferous critiques the various movers and shakers of Tudor England and beyond, acclaimed for its rigorous detail and charming wit. Its hosts, who alternate their roles, are British author Lucy Hinds and Canadian polymath Michelle Weisgerber. Each week, they pick a new person from a hat, discover some fascinating connections that weave their subjects' lives together, and test each other in the world's most ruthless quiz. Ranking '76 ranks the most notorious figures of America's cowboy golden age, from Billy the Kid to Annie Oakley, in the quest to find the ultimate hero and villain for a hypothetical Western film. It is hosted by the erudite Eric Nickelson and his "cartoon" friend Matt Jackson. Over the course of 76 episodes, Matt and Eric each assemble a fantasy football-style draft of western figures to face off in a series of final duels. Whether you're considering getting involved in podcasting or popular history, or are just interested in learning more about us, this episode is a great learning experience. It was also a delight to record! Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: Th
S1 E32 · Tue, June 28, 2022
32 - Henry I
While he may be King of France, our first Henry finds himself overshadowed at every turn by mighty figures in his kingdom like Odo II of Blois, Geoffrey Martel of Anjou and a young Norman duke called William the Bastard. Despite falling off a horse as many kings do, Henry to his credit got back up again. We will see him hold his own in one of the lowest points of kingly power, ensuring another long-ish reign and the continuation of his dynasty. Will we revive his reputation from the slander of the Norman chroniclers, or will we too condemn him to the proverbial guillotine? Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. L
S1 E31 · Wed, June 15, 2022
31 - Robert II
Robert the Wise is yet another of the lesser-known kings of France, however, an abundance of sources combined with a lengthy reign means that Ben has a lot to say about him! We hope that henceforth he will be known as a "sexy beast", with his statuesque build, charming personality and rather saucy marital record... Or at least that is was conclusion until we got to the burnings... Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts , Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to our bonus content: movie reviews, deep dives and bonus judgements! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E30 · Mon, May 30, 2022
30 - Hugh Capet
Surprise!! Ben and Eliza are BACK and ready to dive into the High Middle Ages with Hugh, the first king of the Capetian Dynasty. Named for his simple white hood (capet) and known for his demure personality, he's not exactly the glorious conqueror you'd pick to be the founder of Europe's greatest dynasty. However, as we discover this episode, Hugh Capet may be more than meets the eye... Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi , where you can buy us a coffee and contribute a small amount to the show. Patreon , where you can join the official Angry Mob and get access to bonus content. And as ever, don't forget to leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Bonus · Wed, May 18, 2022
Carolingian Retrospective with Dr Rutger Kramer
We are delighted to be joined by historian Dr Rutger Kramer on today's special episode recapping and re-examining all the Carolingians we have ranked on the podcast, from Charles Martel to Louis V. In this episode, among plenty of other topics, we talk about what the Battle of Tours really meant to the Franks, why Charlemagne is such an anomaly in this period, and why Louis the Pious might have been robbed! Rutger's " Rethinking Authority in the Carolingian Empire: Ideas and Expectations During the Reign of Louis the Pious (813-828) " is available as an open-access read, for those who want to learn more. Other recommendations: Vita Caroli (Life of Charlemagne) by Einhard (full translation) Gesta Normannorum (History of the Dukes of Normandy) by Dudo of St-Quentin (full translation) The Penitential State: Authority and Atonement in the Age of Louis the Pious by Mayke de Jong List of books by Thea Beckman (Dutch historical fiction author) The Royal Diaries series by Kathryn Lasky (fiction) The Dark Queens: A gripping tale of power, ambition and murderous rivalry in early medieval France by Shelley Puhak (non-fiction narrative history about Fredegund and Brunhild, available in the US and UK) Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better
Bonus · Mon, May 09, 2022
Patreon & Other Announcements
In this minisode, Ben and Eliza attempt to pitch their Patreon despite their enduring temptation to go on tangents. Meanwhile, the main podcast will be back on 18 May 2022 with a fascinating conversation with resident Carolingian expert Dr Rutger Kramer. From then on, we will be releasing regular episodes on a fortnightly basis starting with Hugh Capet on 1 June 2022. Go to patreon.com/battleroyalepodcast to support us, get that sweet bonus content and help us decide the first movie we’re going to see. Shoutouts from this episode: · Andrew Schneider, composer and pianist - watch his Polish-language Ave Maria · Roberto Toro - go listen to the History of Saqartvelo Georgia podcast · Tudoriferous – Lucy and Michelle discuss and rate the big names of the Tudor world · Ranking ’76 – Matt and Eric rank the most infamous figures of the American West · Grimm Reading – join Matt and Adam around the fire to discuss tales from the Brothers Grimm
S1 E29 · Wed, April 20, 2022
29 - Louis V + Ranking Roundup!
It's a series finale (of sorts) as we encounter the last king to be a direct descendant of Charlemagne. His reign is full of intrigue and scandal, from a marriage alliance that backfires horribly to Louis pissing off the WRONG archbishop. Will these kings ever learn? We will be on a brief hiatus for the next month (May 2022), but after our Ranking Roundup this episode we are keen to hear what you think of our scores so far! Who was robbed? Who benefited from blatant favouritism? We can't wait to hear your hot takes!!! Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Go to our Ko-Fi to buy us a coffee and contribute to the show! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E28 · Wed, April 06, 2022
28 - Lothair
Lothair has a pretty smooth time getting on the throne, but once his powerful mentors start to die off, will he be able to hold his own? In this episode, we see a particularly violent king and a particularly conniving queen... whom the bishops try to ignore as they bring the abacus back to France and tell the monks to stop wearing leggings. Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Go to our Ko-Fi to buy us a coffee and contribute to the show! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E27 · Wed, March 30, 2022
27.5 - Gerberga of Saxony
It's been too long since we talked about a powerful queen-regent. There have been "no girls allowed" in Neustria since the notorious Queen Fredegund! But at last, Gerberga is here to break the curse and become the first (sort of) Queen-Regent of France. As a relation to several "the Greats", including Otto, Hugh and (we don't talk about) Bruno, our Gerberga was quite the catch for young King Louis IV. But will she prove interesting enough to ascend to the VIP box with Fredegund? Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Go to our Ko-Fi to buy us a coffee and contribute to the show! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E27 · Tue, March 15, 2022
27 - Louis IV
After a childhood spent across the sea in England, it's time for Louis d'Outremer to show us if he learned anything from his time as Uncle Athelstan's ward... anything? Louis's reputation might not be promising, but he is far from a Do-Nothing King, and his life is a tale full of twists and turns, from a surprising amount of ambushes to a suspiciously convenient marriage to a widow. Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Go to our Ko-Fi to buy us a coffee and contribute to the show! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E26 · Tue, March 08, 2022
26.5 - Hugh the Great
Though he refused the crown, Hugh the Great remains too major to overlook in this period of French history. So, join us as we decide whether he deserves to watch our final tournament from the VIP Box. With humble clothes to hide his thirst for power, Hugh is more than meets the eye, with a third of France under his control. How does he get on with the rambunctious boy-king Louis IV? Will he ensure the continued success of the Robertian Dynasty? And do we have another misleading epithet on our hands? In light of the current invasion, please give to the Ukrainian people: Unicef Voices of Children United Help Ukraine Sunflower of Peace Also, follow and support free speech and real news at the Kyiv Independent . Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E26 · Mon, February 28, 2022
26 - Rudolph
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reind -- I mean, Frankish monarch -- never asked to be the king, but his wife Emma sure did, so when her father died she hugged Rudolph's knees and never let go. While considered a Robertian, Rudolph in fact belongs to the Bivinid branch of the Bosonid Dynasty, being the nephew of Nosebleed-Section resident Boso of Provence. Will the "glorious wolf" be a scheming trickster like his uncle, or follow in the footsteps of the humble and honourable Robertians he married into? Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Go to our Ko-Fi to buy us a coffee and contribute to the show! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E25 · Mon, February 21, 2022
25 - Robert I
The posthumous son and namesake of Robert the Strong was a thorn in the side of our last king, Charles the Simple. Now that he's stepped up to take on the big job, will he be able to Make France Great Again and kick out all the pesky Vikings and Germans? Get ready for a deep-dive into the Battle of Soissons in 923 CE, and what REALLY happened on the field of Charles's defeat... Also, at the end of the episode, Future Ben and Future Eliza read out the lovely Apple Podcast reviews you guys have left us!! Make sure you rate and review Battle Royale on whichever platform you listen on. Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Go to our Ko-Fi to buy us a coffee and contribute to the show! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Bonus · Mon, February 14, 2022
Valentine's Day with "Love is Dead"
Bonne Saint-Valentin! Today we are taking a brief sojourn from our Frankish kings to share three love stories from French history, from the 12th century to the modern era. Eliza will be discussing medieval lovers Héloïse and Abélard, Ben will be talking about queer artist Rosa Bonheur, and our special guest Rachel Dyer will be talking about French-American princess Betsy Patterson. Go listen to Rachel’s podcast Love is Dead for more historical heartbreaks and hot takes! Featured music: Leonard Cohen’s “ Hallelujah ”, Medieval Bardcore Version by Beedle the Bardcore. “ Clog Dance ” from Ferdinand Hérold’s “La Fille Mal Gardée”, performed by John Lanchbery and the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra “ La Vie en Rose ” by Edith Piaf Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Go to our Ko-Fi to buy us a coffee and contribute to the show! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visi
S1 E24 · Wed, February 09, 2022
24 - Charles the Simple
He may be called simple, however, his reign is anything but. Sit tight as we take you on a roller coaster, from a weak little boy at the mercy of his nobles to... a weak old man at the mercy of his nobles. But it's all about the journey, not the destination, and our fourth (or third?) Charles's reign is one hell of a ride - from the murder of an archbishop to Vikings attending French classes. That's right, the NORMANS are here, and people are MAD about it! Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Go to our Ko-Fi to buy us a coffee and contribute to the show! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E23 · Tue, February 01, 2022
23 - Odo
It's time to see if the long-awaited son of Robert the Strong turns out to be an O-do or an O-don't! And if that dad joke wasn't enough to entice you, then Eliza's excitement for this king certainly will, as she makes plans to name a goldfish after him. But of course no description of this episode would be complete without a tease of the SIEGE OF PARIS, the great Viking assault that you may have seen dramatised in the show Vikings or the game Assassins' Creed . But here you will get the REAL story, as told by a "crooked cleric" who witnessed the event firsthand. After our first Robertian king proves himself a hero against the Vikings and makes his move to snatch the crown from the Carolingians, will he prove to be the great king that all his promise showed, or will he face his downfall from his squabbling nobles? If you are enjoying us, please make sure to leave us a review wherever you are able (and we might even read your review out on the show!), and if you are REALLY enjoying us, you can now support the pod on our Ko-fi ! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E22 · Mon, January 24, 2022
22 - Charles the Fat
After decades in the background of our Carolingian series, it is time for the large-and-in-charge Emperor Charles to come to the fore and lead West Francia to ... well, greatness is a strong word. Plagued by poor health and a lack of heirs, will Charles the Fat be able to steady the sinking ship, or will he allow the Carolingian empire to shatter once and for all? Things to look forward to in this episode include a baby getting possessed by a demon, an empress undergoing a literal Trial by Fire, bishops cracking Viking skulls with their hefty Bibles, and a medical procedure called "trepanning" which you really shouldn't google. It's getting very medieval up in here. If you are enjoying the podcast and want to help us continue, you can now "buy us a coffee" on our Ko-Fi page! We would really appreciate your support, if you just want to throw us a one-off donation. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E21 · Tue, January 18, 2022
21.5 - Boso of Provence
By popular demand, everyone's (least) favourite clown has arrived to crash the Carolingian party! As the first non-Carolingian ruler within Charlemagne's empire and an extremely controversial figure in his time, we thought it only fitting that we cover him in a special episode. In this episode, we discuss Boso's rise to power on the coattails of his sister Richilde, who successfully seduced the ageing king Charles the Bald. We then go through how he unsuccessfully governed Italy, forcibly married Princess Ermengarde, and rescued the Pope from Moorish pirates. A man of contradictions is our Boso... Also, as in Robert the Strong's episode, we get to zoom in on a particular part of what will become France: the rugged southeastern regions of Provence and Upper Burgundy. If you are enjoying the podcast so far and want it to keep going and continue to improve, we now have a way for you to show your support: Go to ko-fi.com/battleroyale and "buy us a coffee"! We would appreciate it SO much. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E21 · Wed, January 12, 2022
21 - Carloman II + Quiz #2
Listen to our friend Roberto's podcast, History of Saqartvelo Georgia ! Hot off the heels of his brother and co-ruler Louis III, will Carloman II be able to save the West Franks from the Viking menace? No? It just gets worse? Oh, dear. Prepare yourself for the most horrifying horrors of the Viking age, forcing even our scribe Archbishop Hincmar to flee his church as the Annals of St Bertin come to their climactic end. Stay tuned also for our quiz at the end of the episode! Let us know if you managed to beat Eliza, or at least remember Pepin the Short... Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E20 · Tue, January 04, 2022
20 - Louis III
The Carolingian family tree is starting to shrivel up, but Louis III is a spot of light in the darkness, known for his famous battles against the Vikings. Louis wins the battle, but can he win the war? How will he go with sharing power with his brother Carloman II? And when will Boso go away and stop annoying everyone? But perhaps the most interesting question about Louis III is... He died HOW? Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E19 · Tue, December 28, 2021
19 - Louis the Stammerer
It's time for Louis 2: Electric Booga- Oh, wait, his reign's already over? Thankfully, Louis the Stammerer is no Merovingian, so we have bountiful evidence of what he was doing throughout his short and rather chaotic life. From facing down Robert the Strong at the mere age of 12 to having to make small talk with Pope John VIII at the Council of Troyes, Louis's life is full of awkward moments that would be bad enough without a speech impediment. Flock to social media and let us know what you thought of our second Louis, and tune in next week for his son Louis III. How will he fare against the renewed onslaught of the Vikings, and the boundless ambition of our villainous clown Boso? The answer may surprise you. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Bonus · Tue, December 21, 2021
Christmas with Pontifacts! (Patron Saints of France)
The most wonderful time of the year was made even more wonderful by our first ever guests, Bry and Fry of the Pontifacts podcast, who rate all of the popes from Peter to Francis. Complemented as ever by the splendid humour of Fry and Eliza, Bry and Ben recount the tales of the five patron saints of France who have been woven into our story so far: Saint Petronilla, Saint Denis, Saint Martin, Saint Remy and Saint Radegund. This is definitely not your average Christmas episode! We've got a guy carrying his own severed head, an emperor's butt being set on fire and a dove descending from the sky with a Molotov cocktail, just to name a few incidents. We also find out that not only could women read in the Dark Ages (shocker!), but one of them could even speak to frogs! How very French of her. Go read about the INSANE story St Ulphia wrote! And of course, listen to Pontifacts! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E18 · Mon, December 13, 2021
18.5 - Robert the Strong
This week we're zooming in on northwestern France to talk about an initially minor nobleman named Robert. From humble(ish) origins, he will found a dynasty that will come to rival the Carolingians in the west. But what of the man himself? This week, we're talking sneaky skulduggery, bloody battles and vicious Vikings! Robert will die defending Francia from the heathens ... but the story of how he got there is a little more complicated. As he is not a king, Robert the Strong will not be eligible for the guillotine. Instead we decide from which seats he will get to watch the final tournament: the VIP Box, or the Carloman Memorial Nosebleed Section? Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E18 · Tue, December 07, 2021
18 - Charles the Bald
Another jam-packed reign, with possibly the most tricky and controversial ranking yet. A lot of deliberation was cut from the ranking segments! Will Charles the Bald make his father Louis the Pious proud, by reviving the glory of his namesake Charlemagne? Or will he be chopped up ... like a turnip? Once you have listened, what will you think of Charles the Bald? Was he a peak or a trough of the Carolingian period? Did he deserve the judgement we gave him? We are particularly keen to hear your thoughts on this one, so flock to our socials to let us know. Also BIG NEWS! We are doing a collaboration with the PONTIFACTS podcast over Christmas and talking about the patron saints of France. Which would you love to hear us cover? Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E17 · Tue, November 30, 2021
17 - Louis the Pious
Charlemagne is a hard act to follow, but Louis the Pious shows promise. Will he pull through and escape the guillotine? This lengthy episode is jam-packed with so many twists and turns of fates and loyalties, leaving us wondering what exactly to make of this unholiest of holy kings... Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E16 · Tue, November 23, 2021
16 - Charlemagne (Part 2)
Now that we have gone through Charlemagne's life and conquests, it's now time to take a look at how he ruled, the innovations he brought to his empire and the massive legacy he left. What will be our verdict on the greatest "great" of medieval history? Is it enough to spare him from the guillotine? Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E16 · Tue, November 16, 2021
16 - Charlemagne (Part 1)
Need more iron in your audio diet? Look no further than this week's episode, where Eliza and Ben FINALLY explore the life and conquests of Charlemagne, from birth to death. After a cold open from the Monk of St Gall and a brief recap of what we've discussed of his life so far, we explore his many military conquests, his plans for succession and how he acquired a couple of very special new crowns. Oh, but there's more! Stay tuned for next week's episode, when we give Charlemagne his scores and go much more in-depth into the juicy details of how he reigned and the legacy that will loom over all our future kings! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E15 · Tue, November 09, 2021
15 - Carloman I
An important prélude to Charlemagne's episode, here we cover his younger brother. The Frankish kingdom was split nonsensically between them, and their mother was definitely playing favourites. Has this forgotten sibling Carloman earned his place in the tournament, or will he be sent to the guillotine? Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E14 · Tue, November 02, 2021
14 - Pepin the Short
It's finally time for the Carolingians to snatch that crown from the feeble hands of the last Merovingians. This week we'll see the Franks and the Lombards finally butt heads in an epic showdown, witness a blossoming bromance between Pepin and the Pope, and discuss why Pepin the Short (like Napoleon) was probably not short. This is hopefully the last of our sketchy-audio-quality episodes. So look forward to crisp and clear sound next week with Carloman I, whose reign will be an important prelude to that of the Father of Europe himself, Charlemagne. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E13 · Tue, October 26, 2021
13 - Childeric III (Halloween Special!)
We know the French detest Halloween, but we're doing a Halloween episode anyway! How could we not, when this king - the last of the Merovingian dynasty - is known as the PHANTOM KING?! When we have reviewed Childeric III in all his long-haired glory (or lack thereof), Ben will share with Eliza the incredible true story of the Beast of Gévaudan, a mysterious creature that terrorised the people of southern France in the 18th Century. Find out more about the Beast of Gévaudan from... The beast's official website, made by a local of the region: betedugevaudan.com . An article in the Smithsonian Magazine by Lorraine Boissoneault. An episode of the Astonishing Legends podcast, with a deep dive into evidence and theories. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E12 · Tue, October 19, 2021
12.5 - Charles Martel
The long-awaited prince is here! It's time to talk about Charles Martel, victor of the legendary Battle of Tours ... but is he truly as great as his legendary name "Carl the Hammer" might imply? And does this most famous Mayor of the Palace deserve to sit up in the VIP box to watch the final tournament? Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E12 · Tue, October 12, 2021
12 - Theodoric IV
With next episode's Charles Martel handing all the boring ruling, there's little for Theodoric IV to do but sit back and get wheeled around in a cart. At the tail end of the episode, we do a deep dive into the daily life of a Frankish peasant. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E11 · Tue, October 05, 2021
11 - Chilperic II (Daniel)
After spending a number of episodes tucked away in a monastery, it's time for Daniel to come out and take the spotlight ... with mixed results! He is largely overshadowed by the epic showdown between Charles Martel and Ragenfrid. Also in the third and final of our "news segments", we are going to take a peak at what's going on in the Byzantine Empire, as they face the rising threat of the Umayyad Caliphate which will soon also strike the Franks... Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E10 · Tue, September 28, 2021
10 - Dagobert III
It's time for our most attractive king yet, Dagobert III. Weird hunch and chin-hairs aside, will he live up to his namesake Dagobert I? At the tail end of our episode, we will have another World History / News Update segment with a trip far to the east of the world the Franks knew. While the do-nothing kings are doing nothing, Empress Wu Zetian of China is doing everything, with her subjects inventing gunpowder and building architectural marvels. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E9 · Tue, September 21, 2021
9 - Childebert III
This episode is chock-a-block, not just with the ramblings of 2 nerds who have been in Covid-19 Lockdown for too long, but also with events that are happening in the world around Childebert III (all of which he has little to no effect over). Later in the episode, Eliza will give us a little "News Update" on what's happening outside of our little slice of the Dark Ages. This week we're going to Central and South America, where a ruler called "Eighteen Rabbit" is a direct contemporary of Childebert III. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E8 · Tue, September 14, 2021
8 - Clovis IV + Quiz!
Today we've got a pitifully brief reign, so we thought we'd add in a couple extra goodies: a quiz you can follow along with at home, along with an update of how our kings are ranking so far! As ever, thanks to all of you for supporting us in these early days as we find our feet. We are so grateful to have found such a great foundation of listeners and we hope you stick around. We've got some really fun episodes ahead of us. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E7 · Tue, September 07, 2021
7 - Theodoric III
With Theodoric, we say goodbye to Ebroin's meddling and hello again to the dynasty that will become the Carolingians. A bit of stability is nice... but at what cost to the Merovingians? As ever, make sure you visit our Wordpress site, and give us a rating if you've enjoyed us. Also follow us on social media. It's just a small way you can help grow our little community! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E6 · Tue, August 31, 2021
6 - Childeric II
Will Childeric II outstrip his brother Clothar III was King of all the Franks? This week Eliza and Ben discuss a king who fired his little brother, married his cousin, excessively beat his nobles and proved why you REALLY shouldn't go into the woods. I'm sure he'll have a very long and successful reign... Special appearance from Leodegar, the patron saint of eye-gouging. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E5 · Tue, August 24, 2021
5 - Clothar III (ft. Balthild)
This week, it's Clothar the ... well, he doesn't have an epithet like the last two Clothars. But his mum was cool! Is being the son of a saintly queen enough to evade the guillotine though? It's time to get into the very first of the Rois Fainéants - the Do-Nothing Kings! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E4 · Tue, August 17, 2021
4 - Dagobert I
Get ready to meet Good King Dagobert, who wore his trousers inside-out! What the heck is that story all about, and will our cheekiest king yet be able to escape the guillotine? You'd better listen, to find out! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E3 · Tue, August 10, 2021
3 - Clothar II
Becoming king when he was just a baby, he definitely earned the nickname "Clothar the Young", but does he deserve to be called "Clothar the Great"? This week Ben and Eliza witness the fate of Brunhilda, the reunification of the Franks after decades of civil war, and the emergence of a new power: the Mayor of the Palace. Vague and contradictory sources make this a difficult king to rate. Is a long, stable reign enough to escape the Guillotine, or do the seeds of future destruction spell doom for Clothar II? Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E2 · Tue, August 03, 2021
2.5 - Fredegund
We don't have a King of All the Franks to review for about half a century, but we do have one extremely notorious queen: Fredegund. How does this dark age villainess rank compared to our kings? Her crimes include regicide, infanticide, a Red Wedding, harbouring a witch and violating the law of SANCTUARYYY. Join us again next week when we'll be continuing our line of Merovingian kings. Will Fredegund's descendants win out, or will her nemesis Brunhilda have the last laugh? Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E2 · Tue, July 27, 2021
2 - Clothar I
Clothar the Old will outlive all his brothers and become the next King of All the Franks... but is self-preservation alone enough to save him from the guillotine? How far will Clovis's children devolve into war and depravity, and what difficult choice lies ahead of our beloved Queen Clotilda? Find out this week on Battle Royale! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E1 · Tue, July 20, 2021
1 - Clovis I
It's time to get guillotining!!! Unless, of course, we decide our first King of All the Franks, Clovis, is worthy of being spared. Only one way to find out... Battle Royale is not liable for any injures obtained as a result of standing on a shield. That being said, Eliza is determined to see this Germanic custom recreated IRL. (But seriously ... don't.) Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 Enull · Tue, July 13, 2021
0 - Bastille Day Premier: Gauls, Romans and Franks
Don't skip the introduction! In this episode, we explain the format of our podcast, before taking you on a concise tour through the history of France before it was France. Special appearances from woolly mammoths, Hannibal of Carthage, Julius Caesar and history's greatest cabbage farmer Diocletian. And let's not forget - loads and loads of moustachioed Gauls! Stay tuned for next week, when we'll do a deeper dive into the life of the very first king awaiting our judgement, Clovis. We apologise for the slightly haphazard audio on these early episodes: Eliza is a little quiet compared to Ben. We are still finding our feet, after all. But we are learning every day! Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Trailer · Thu, June 24, 2021
Before you listen...
Bienvenue! Before you dive in, here's a brief message telling you what the hell this is, and where we reckon you should start listening. Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion . Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here . ⚜️ CATEGORIES Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us? En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles? Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects? Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know? La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them? For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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