The Slumflower Hour
As the manosphere rises and men continue to terrorise us, how will you decide what your own happy ending looks like? Join Chidera Eggerue aka The Slumflower on her debut, much-awaited podcast The Slumflower Hour - the domain for disobedient women who date men! Is he really 'busy' or is he bored of you? Do you have the patience to practise your own boundaries? Should you follow your instincts or should you follow your impulses? Watch and listen to The Slumflower Hour every Friday! WARNING: This podcast might just be your man's worst nightmare, beware...
S3 E13 · Thu, May 01, 2025
CASUAL SEX?
Is sex really casual? This is the question being pondered upon in this episode. Join The Slumflower as she toys with the debate of whether a woman can truly benefit from 'no strings attached' sex! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S3 E12 · Thu, April 24, 2025
COMMUNICATION IS NOT KEY!
Do you find yourself having to keep repeating your requests to the man in your life? Do people keep telling you that you need to 'communicate' if you want a healthy relationship (even though the person you're communicating to is not listening)? Have you found yourself feeling fatigued in your relationship? This episode is specifically for the women who are trapped in the communication loop. There's a way out! Join Chidera as she helps you untangle the knots to finally find clarity in handling men who don't listen to you. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S3 E11 · Thu, April 17, 2025
HOPELESS ROMANTIC?
Are you a hopeless romantic? Do you believe that love conquers all? Do you live in the hope that one day, you'll fall in love and things will fall into place as they were always meant to? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she debunks the concept of being a 'hopeless romantic', while she exposes the true intentions of men who call themselves that! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S3 E10 · Thu, April 10, 2025
USE HIM
Do you feel guilty about using men in a world where men created a system where women will always be commodified? Have you found yourself feeling tongue-tied when wanting to ask a man for help? Should men be of service to us? In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses why we should put these men to work! ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S3 E9 · Thu, April 03, 2025
HOW TO NOT GET ATTACHED
Do you struggle with premature attachment to men? Do you fear you'll never stop being a lover girl? Is it really the man you're attached to or are you attached to the idea of being desired? In this episode, join Chidera as she helps you banish the demonic spirit of unnecessary attachment to straight men! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S3 E8 · Fri, March 28, 2025
ENERGETIC HARVESTING
Is that man using you as an ego boost? Is he really 'just shy' or is he waiting for you to chase him? Do men deserve our friendship? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses the ways men steal our energy for their own empowerment... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S3 E7 · Fri, March 21, 2025
LOSING HOPE?
Is your loneliness starting to become obvious? Do you secretly fear that you're not going to find your person? Are you losing hope? It's okay! Let's chill out, take a deep breath and reground ourselves. In this episode, join Chidera as she talks you through your FOMO and debunks your fears. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S3 E6 · Fri, March 14, 2025
THE STRONG WOMAN
Are you a strong woman who takes pride in being independent? Do you secretly wish you knew how to receive support without 'losing' your strength? Do men praise you for being 'strong'? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses why being strong doesn't mean you have to struggle! Besides, what's the man there for? Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S3 E5 · Fri, March 07, 2025
POOR COOCHIE MANAGEMENT
Has your poor coochie management led to your demise? Are you in denial about the ripple effect your sexual decisions have on the quality of your life? Are men onto something when they tell us sleeping with them makes us 'impure'? In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses the ramifications of being sexually careless - and why we all ought to step up the pussy security IMMEDIATELY! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S3 E4 · Fri, February 28, 2025
THE TOXIC GIRLFRIEND
Have you ever been accused of being 'toxic' for holding a man accountable? Do your friends consider you 'too harsh' in your dating decisions and conclusions? Is there something you enjoy in giving men a taste of their own medicine? If so, you'll definitively enjoy this episode. Join The Slumflower, as she reclaims the term 'toxic' and flips the script once again! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S3 E3 · Fri, February 21, 2025
DATING IN A STINGY COUNTRY
Do you live in a land full of stingy men who love to split the bill? Are you starting to lose hope that you'll meet a man who will treat you as you want to be treated? Has 'feminism' made men too lazy to provide? In this episode garnished with a storytime, join Chidera as she discusses how to survive stingy men! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S3 E2 · Fri, February 14, 2025
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
Has the FOMO of Valentine's day got you feeling blue? Did your man 'conveniently' start a fight with you a couple days ago? Are you bored of Valentine's day? If any of the above questions resonate with you, you'll most certainly enjoy this episode! Join The Slumflower as she discusses why Valentine's day is important - and not for the reasons we might think... ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S3 E1 · Fri, February 07, 2025
SO HE'S GOTTEN TOO COMFORTABLE...
So it's finally happened...he's become carried away and comfortable enough to start coasting through the relationship... His yearning has decreased and his ability to remain mad at you has suddenly taken precedence. Big yikes! Time to hit the brakes, I fear. In this new episode kicking off season 3, join Chidera as she talks you through the key indicators that your man might just be too comfortable, sis! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E47 · Fri, December 06, 2024
*SEASON 2 FINALE* THE FEMDOM CHRONICLES WITH OG TIERRA DOLL
In this FINALE episode of season 2, we are joined by the 6 figure-earning dominatrix, OG Tierra Doll! In this juicy episode, we discuss findom as wealth redistribution and a radical politic, the extensive library of quirky kink fetishes and femdom vs feminism. You can find the Goddess, Miss OG Tierra Doll online via @TierraDoll_ on X. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E46 · Fri, November 29, 2024
NEEDING MEN...
Should my feminism be dismissed as 'anti-feminist'? Are you really independent if you still rely on men for orgasms? Is it possible to truly be empowered while dating men? In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses why 'feminists' hate sex workers, why it's radical to expect a man who loves you to put assets in your name, and what empowerment while dating men can actually look like! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E45 · Sat, November 23, 2024
ABOUT MALE 'FRIENDS'...
Can male friends actually play a fulfilling role of support in our lives? Is it better to sleep with men you're already friends with? What is your criteria for male friends? Join Chidera as it all goes down in this hilarious episode! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E44 · Fri, November 15, 2024
DICKMATIZED?
Is the dick too bomb for you to use your sense? Have you found yourself roped into a 'situationship' from what was only meant to be a brief hookup? Are you hoping the sex will make him love you? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses why 'being dickmatized' is of the mind - and how we can all snap out of it before we become stuck! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E43 · Fri, November 08, 2024
SPENDING HIS MONEY
Are you dating to marry or dating for money? Do women deserve to be paid to be pregnant? Is it possible to fall in love without giving away your power to a man? These are questions that need answers and in this episode, join Chidera as she covers them! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E42 · Fri, November 01, 2024
STICKING TO YOUR GUNS
Do you struggle with putting your foot down when handling a situation with a guy? Are you often 'too nice' when you should be a little more dubious of men? Have you fallen into the mentality of making men's negligence about you? In this episode, enjoy a storytime and Chidera's real-time texting conversation with a man who is now blocked! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E41 · Thu, October 24, 2024
SUBTLE SIGNS HE'S NOT THE ONE
Do you feel like that man is romantically edging you? Is there a vibe that he 'kind of' likes you but is holding back? Are you at a crossroads of whether you should keep emotionally investing in him? If any of the above questions resonate with you, this quick burst of an episode might give you the answers you need...while giving you a laugh! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E40 · Fri, October 18, 2024
DO LOOKS MATTER?
Do looks really matter? Should we 'dress for men'? Is it considered 'unfeminist' to use your beauty as leverage? We cover all these questions in this episode, where The Slumflower dives into beauty as a tool - and whether feminism is helping or hindering our journeys towards the lifestyles we desire... (Disclaimer: the use of weed as an example in this episode, is in no way a promotion of its use!) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E39 · Fri, October 11, 2024
OVERCOMING THE FEAR OF ASKING MEN FOR STUFF
Do you feel like you 'owe' men sex for a cocktail? Does the 'gold digger' label scare you away from being upfront about your needs? Are you playing to win or are you playing to be fair? In this episode, join Chidera as she dilutes your fears of asking men for things, and chats through the ridiculousness of male entitlement! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E38 · Fri, October 04, 2024
ARE YOU A STRICT BABE?
Are you trying to find the firmness in your voice? Or are you worried you might be a bit too blunt? In this episode, join Chidera as she talks through the ways we can all be a little stricter without flying off the rails - and why there's nothing scarier to a man, than a woman who is pissed off and relaxed about it... NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E37 · Fri, September 27, 2024
HOW TO EXPLOIT MEN
Do you feel bad about dating selfishly? Does the idea of 'using' a man make you feel guilty? Is it exploitative to date men with your best interest at the forefront? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses her favourite ways to exploit men in a world where they systemically and interpersonally exploit women every single day... NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E36 · Thu, September 19, 2024
IS HE A BOYFRIEND OR IS HE A TRAUMA BOND?
Have you convinced yourself you're stuck with that man? Is he really the best you can do? Why do you even keep giving him chances? In this brief and funny episode, join The Slumflower as she talks through the lies we tell ourselves to cling onto these men who have passed their expiry date in our lives... NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E35 · Fri, September 13, 2024
HAVING HIS BABIES?
Is the pressure on to start a family? Feeling broody? Or maybe even experiencing that FOMO feeling as everyone around you is starting to have babies? You are not alone! In this episode, join Chidera as she talks about why you don't need to have kids just because you want to...and the ways we can all show up in a maternal role without having to commit to parenthood *cough cough* shout out to the aunties! NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E34 · Fri, September 06, 2024
DATING AS A FIRST BORN DAUGHTER
Are you a first born daughter who has been plagued by the perpetual sense of responsibility...even over the men you date? Has your first born daughter status evolved into a saviour complex? Do you feel like you need to be useful in order to be loved? Dear first born daughters, this one is for us! In this episode, join Chidera as she muses and reflects on her life and upbringing as a first born daughter - and how this has actually empowered her to be stern, bold and fearless in her self-advocacy when dating men. NEW DATE ADDED FOR MY SOLD OUT LIVE SHOW! Get tickets for my October 27th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E33 · Fri, August 30, 2024
HOW TO DATE NIGERIAN MEN
Have you been victimised by a Nigerian man? Are you too nice to the Nigerian men you date? (YES) Is there a lack of cultural awareness that impinges upon your ability to understand Nigerian men? However you resonate (or don't) with these questions, you'll enjoy this episode full of insight, banter and cultural context from a Nigerian woman, herself! In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses how best to date Nigerian men to enjoy the best of them and avoid the worst of them... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E32 · Fri, August 23, 2024
SO YOU'RE NOT LEARNING YOUR LESSON...
Are you that friend who keeps calling your friend to complain about the same man you won't leave? Are you the friend who wishes your homegirl would get a grip and get over that man, so you can have your friend back? Or are you that woman who has exhausted all your friendships and has found herself isolated because you keep choosing men over self-respect? If any of the above resonate, this episode is for you! In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses the irritation of being that woman who simply won't learn her bloody lesson... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E31 · Fri, August 16, 2024
DATING WHILE NEURODIVERGENT
Do you find your neurodivergence interfering with your dating life? Have you found your rejection sensitivity makes you more prone to rumination? Has your constant masking made you more used to tolerating discomfort around men? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses how her neurodivergence influences the way she navigates men. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E30 · Fri, August 09, 2024
THE PARADOX OF THE PICK-ME
Are pick-me women simply misunderstood? Are things 'easier' with men when you let patriarchy run its course? What can women do to avoid becoming desperate? In this episode, join Chidera as she talks through all the reasons why picking men over yourself will always leave you short-changed and resentful - no matter how exceptional you think your situation is... Get tickets for my October 26th LIVE SHOW at Leicester Square Theatre, London Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E29 · Sat, August 03, 2024
WHEN THE LOVE BOMBING DOESN'T WORK...
Did you notice yourself almost falling for the botched dream being sold to you? Was it all stating to feel a little too good to be true? Has he switched up on you because his little game didn't work? Nothing hits better than that 'thank God I didn't fall for him' relief and in this episode, The Slumflower visits the various ways men become sassy and insufferable when their grandiosity backfires! Get tickets for my October 26th LIVE SHOW Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my latest book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E28 · Fri, July 26, 2024
FEARING MEN
This episode was voted for by the patrons over at Patreon! If we can all agree that men are scary, then we can al agree that dating men should be worth our time, right? Join Chidera, as she chats through safety, self esteem and making men EARN your trust! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E27 · Fri, July 19, 2024
HOW TO MOVE ON
Do you fantasise about him coming back? Do you tend to develop limerence for men who leave you? Do you allow yourself to feel your anger in full? If any of these questions resonate with you, this episode might hit home. Join The Slumflower as she discusses why you should test men, why you need to stop 'healing' and why it's totally okay that you might not meet 'the one'. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E26 · Fri, July 12, 2024
BECOMING MORE ASSERTIVE
Are you an 'understanding girlfriend' who can't quite seem to get the words out when you're annoyed at him? Have you decided what your non-negotiables are in what you'll tolerate from a guy? Are you a 'free spirit' or are you giving your power away to men? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she plots out smooth and non-aggressive ways to be more assertive in the presence of men, while maintaining your authentic personality - plus a very saucy South of France storytime...involving a yacht ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E25 · Sat, July 06, 2024
PROVIDER?
So what's the fuss around dating providers? Why are women scared to date selfishly? Why do we slut-shame women who are upfront about their requirements of men who want to sleep with them, whilst we uphold and celebrate the women who settle 'in the name of love'? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the concept of men being providers - and why we shouldn't let 'feminism' stop us from having our own cake and eating it too...just like the men do! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E24 · Fri, June 28, 2024
THE 'MALE LONELINESS EPIDEMIC'
Do men deserve their loneliness? Do women make too many excuses for men? Can women develop the willpower to abstain from sexual and emotional reliance on men? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the 'male loneliness epidemic' - and why we should all let men deal with this matter by themselves... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E23 · Thu, June 20, 2024
THE EXIT PLAN
If you finally feel ready to leave, this episode is for you. In this episode, join The Slumflower as shares tools on how to leave FOR GOOD, and what you can do to fortify yourself mentally...for when the storm inevitably comes. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E22 · Fri, June 14, 2024
ALPHA MEN?
Where is the line drawn between leadership and control? Do 'alpha' men actually live up to their description? Why do women seek such traits in men? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the myth of the alpha male - and why we should all interrogate our attraction to alpha men... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E21 · Fri, June 07, 2024
THE ICK
Is a person redeemable once you develop the ick for them? What does it take for a man to give you the ick? How can you tell when a man has gotten the ick for YOU? In this episode, join Chidera as we talk all things ick - including my biggest turn-offs that classify a man disqualified in her eyes! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E20 · Thu, May 30, 2024
SO HE WANTS TO MARRY YOU...
Is that man in a rush to marry you? Would he even make a good husband? Are you desperate to be wifed? In this hilarious episode, join The Slumflower as she chats through why a marriage proposal isn't always flattering - and what you can do to remove the power and pressure you have placed on the idea of being someone's wife! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E19 · Fri, May 24, 2024
DOING IT FOR THE PLOT
Do you justify tormenting yourself for the sake of having a 'good story' to tell? Are you impulsive and adrenaline-driven in your dating decisions? Have you found yourself living in the architecture of your own demise? Featuring TWO saucy stories, join Chidera in this episode as she talks through times when she's done it for the plot...and benefited from the wild spontaneity! ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E18 · Thu, May 16, 2024
DATING FOR LOOKS?
Are you easily swayed by a man's appearance? Do you find yourself being easily governed by the coochie flutters when you come across a cute man? Are you unknowingly giving away your power by putting emphasis on how attractive that man is, instead of how well he treats you? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she takes good-looking men OFF the pedestal! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E17 · Fri, May 10, 2024
DATING DEPRESSED MEN...
Has that man become the sad cloud in your sky? Do you find yourself coasting along in this relationship out of guilt rather than choice? Do you feel responsible for this man's wellbeing? Baby...it's time to lift that burden and address the baggage you've taken on as your own! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E16 · Fri, May 03, 2024
WHEN HE FINALLY SWITCHES UP ON YOU...
So the switch-up has finally happened...he's stopped texting you the way he used to; he's not really making plans to take you out anymore; you've had your first argument and he's surprisingly chilled and NONCHALANT?! *blocks your hand from hitting the panic button* Time to stay calm and quietly examine everything you have tolerated so far! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E15 · Thu, April 25, 2024
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT MARRIED MEN...
This episode was voted for by my patrons on Patreon! After what started out as a simple evening of sharing some anonymous insight from sex workers about the hidden reality of married men, the conversation snowballed into an Instagram stories-based discussion, where women across age groups, marital status, professions and lifestyles, were sending in their truths about the ways married men cheat, lie, and manipulate their way through marriage... In what's considered this podcast's most controversial episode so far, join The Slumflower as we tuck into this discourse and unveil the skeletons married women might be (unknowingly) helping their husbands hide! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E14 · Thu, April 18, 2024
ARE YOU MAKING EXCUSES?
Is 'that's just how I am', your default response to being called out for certain behaviours that might be holding you back? Or is 'that's just how he is', your way of justifying that man's irresponsible behaviour towards you? Being a strict babe isn't for everyone but in this episode, we visit the various ways we can let go of the excuses and start observing our situations for what they really are... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E13 · Fri, April 12, 2024
WHAT IF *THIS* IS IT?
What if the love you seek has already found you? Is self-love really the best love? Based on the awful reputation they have created for themselves, is there a limit to which we can involve men in our deepest dreams for the future? Much was covered in this episode! Join The Slumflower as she discusses why 'happily ever after' might already have happened for us and we haven't noticed... ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E12 · Fri, April 05, 2024
DATING MULTIPLE MEN
Are you a 'one man' type of lover but you're curious? Has your boyfriend pissed you off beyond repair? Has the world convinced you that you're 'greedy' for dating more than one dude? If any of the above questions jump out at you, you're really going to dig this episode! Special shout-out to the girlies that already get it. ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E11 · Fri, March 29, 2024
THE UNFORGIVING WOMAN
Are you a woman who struggles to forgive men? Do people make you feel like you hold grudges for too long? Are you a recovering pushover? If any of the above questions resonate with you, pay attention to this episode! In this discussion, join Chidera as she runs through all the reasons men don't deserve to be forgiven so easily, and the ways women sabotage themselves by handing out the benefit of doubt to every Tom, Dami and Harry... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E10 · Fri, March 22, 2024
ARE STRAIGHT WOMEN OKAY?
Why are straight women so helplessly bound to their heterosexuality? How can straight women gain more from their attraction to men without losing themselves? What do straight women keep doing wrong to further reinforce their suffering? In this episode, Chidera visits the various ways straight women betray themselves in exchange for 'love' from men... Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E9 · Fri, March 15, 2024
ABOUT 'BLACK LOVE'...
Do Black women benefit from 'race first' solidarity in their dating decisions? Is Black women's appreciation of Black men reciprocated? Are we moving towards a society where interracial relationships are becoming more popular as a form of Black women's resistance to intra-communal suffrage and misogynoir? Whilst this episode is deeply controversial, join The Slumflower as she discusses divesting from solely dating Black men, and what going where the love is looks like... Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E8 · Fri, March 08, 2024
SHOULD YOU POST YOUR MAN?
In an age where we feel compelled to prove we are loved, is sharing pictures of your boyfriend on social media a risky move? Do we jinx it by claiming men in public too soon? Do men benefit from us posting them online as our partners? In this episode, Chidera discusses why she is averse to the idea of sharing pictures of your new boyfriend on social media - and why the relief of not posting him might be worth it if/when he pisses you off! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E7 · Fri, March 01, 2024
HOW MEN CONTROL YOU
This episode was voted for by my patrons over on Patreon! In an age where women seem to not grasp that men are swindling them for sex, what can we do to raise our awareness of the ways men passively control women to get what they want from us? Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E6 · Fri, February 23, 2024
ARE YOU TOO GULLIBLE?
Are you easily swindled by a man's enthusiastic advances? Are you in a hurry to believe what a man says if it means you can have a relationship to claim? Do you need to mentally fortify yourself with the strength to dodge lovebombing? If any of the above questions resonate, this one's for you! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E5 · Fri, February 16, 2024
HOW TO FALL OUT OF LOVE
Are you emotionally stuck in your attachment to him? Does it feel like you are cutting off a limb by cutting him off? Do you need to be talked off the ledge of over-investment in this man? Gather round the fireplace, let's talk... In this episode, The Slumflower runs through a comprehensive thought stream on how to emotionally detach from men without losing your determination in the process - along with ways to cheat to your benefit (if you really have to!) Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E4 · Fri, February 09, 2024
STORYTIME: MY MILLIONAIRE SUB
In this fun storytime, join The Slumflower as she spills the details of her encounter with a rather generous submissive man... ;) Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E3 · Thu, February 01, 2024
FIRST DATE 101
This episode was voted for by my patrons over on Patreon! Do you find yourself panicking on first dates? Does your overthinking breed overcompensation? Are you scared of awkward silences? If you resonate with any of the above questions, this episode is definitely for you! Dating should be fun and in this short and sweet episode, join The Slumflower as she talks you through fun ways to get through dating without getting yourself too involved. ;) Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E2 · Fri, January 26, 2024
TIME TO QUIT DATING APPS?
Are you still on your digital quest for love? Is the dating app fatigue kicking in? Have you started checking the dating apps more than you check Instagram? It might be time for a breather... In this episode, Chidera speaks on why she thinks you should quit dating apps once and for all! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S2 E1 · Fri, January 19, 2024
DOMINATING YOUR HUSBAND WITH KATHERINE RYAN
In the highly anticipated first episode of SEASON 2, The Slumflower joins forces with the unstoppable comedian: Katherine Ryan! Is having a man's children the ultimate betrayal? Should women dominate their husbands? Are breadwinner wives doomed? It all goes down in this hilarious, truthful and vulnerable episode... Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E39 · Fri, November 10, 2023
*SEASON 1 FINALE* IN CONVERSATION WITH: MISTRESS MARLEY
This is the FINAL episode of The Slumflower Hour podcast's first ever season and of course, we had to wrap this up in style! It is with great honour to introduce to you, MISTRESS MARLEY: the professional dominatrix and sex educator, who took social media by storm with a viral video of her taking a leashed, kneeling, elderly, white male sub to her homecoming. Since the viral moment was documented in The New York Times, Mistress Marley has gone on to expand further into her dominance as a profession, taking on celebrity male clients and making six figures a year, centering reparations in her work and using her platform to teach other women how to become dominatrixes - all whilst throwing kink parties and fostering community for Black people in kink! In this conversation, join Chidera and Mistress Marley as they both muse on dating as dominatrixes, learning how to tell men what to do, common misconceptions about dominating men and the various ways being a dominatrix can provide useful transferrable skills for everyday life. You can find Mistress Marley at: @hausofmarley on Instagram @eyesxonfire on Twitter Mistress Marley's domination courses: https://www.patreon.com/sexcademy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E38 · Fri, November 03, 2023
THE BENEFITS OF BEING SINGLE
Are relationships your comfort zone? Are you scared of being alone? Have you spent more time being in relationships, than being single? You may really benefit from this episode if you resonate with any of the above questions! In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses living a life you aren’t in a hurry to escape from, developing the confidence to walk away from men and choosing your life, not settling for it. Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower (Out November 2023)! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E37 · Fri, October 27, 2023
ACCEPTING GENEROSITY FROM MEN?
Do you fear that you 'owe' men something in return for their kindness? Are you self-deprecating and unable to see yourself as worthy of receiving? Do you feel bad when men go out of their way for you? If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, this episode is definitely for YOU! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Pre-order my new book POCKET POWER FROM THE SLUMFLOWER here: https://geni.us/pocketpower (Out November 2023)! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E36 · Fri, October 20, 2023
WOMEN OF THE ZODIAC
As complex and unique as we all are, there are still traits we share in common - depending on what period of the year we were born in! Join The Slumflower as she discusses the weaknesses and strengths of your zodiac sign - and even if you don't resonate with astrology, you may learn a fun fact or two! The 'Men of The zodiac' episode was hilarious so after many requests - both on the Patreon and in Instagram DM's, we now have an episode (lovingly) dragging the women of all 12 zodiac signs. Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E37 · Thu, October 12, 2023
SEXUAL DISCIPLINE
Is your horniness hindering you? Do you find yourself making more excuses for him because of your sexual attraction to him? Are you giving away so much of yourself and still not getting what you want from him? It may be time to talk about sexual discipline... In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses better ways to manage your sexual urges without losing yourself, as well as why it's sometimes important to revoke access to the pussy, even if the pussy still wants to play! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E36 · Thu, October 05, 2023
HOLDING SPACE FOR RAGE
This episode was voted for by my patrons over on my Patreon! Does misandry hold the same weight as misogyny? Are men trying hard enough? Are women ever going to be free from patriarchy? In this episode, The Slumflower discusses why anger is vital for liberation, how being too compassionate towards men is keeping us stuck, and why it matters to have outlets to release your rage. Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E36 · Fri, September 29, 2023
LOANING A MAN MONEY?
Where do you draw the line of financially supporting a man you care about? Are men more likely to take advantage of generous women? What happens if that man can't pay you back? In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses the slippery slope of borrowing money to men...whilst being in a sexual relationship with the man you're financially supporting! Are there exceptional scenarios? Or should we just leave men to fix their own financial problems? Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E35 · Fri, September 22, 2023
RAISING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM WHILE DATING
This episode was voted for by my patrons over on my Patreon! In the longest episode so far, join The Slumflower as she talks about raising your self-esteem, through the lens of observing rejection sensitivity, desperation, and comparing yourself to women who are in relationships you idolise. Do men target women who they detect have low self-esteem? Is it too late to raise your self-esteem and date better? Does a woman need to be stupendously beautiful for a man to desire and respect her? It all goes down in this episode - hilariously and as usual, impactfully! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E35 · Fri, September 15, 2023
ASKING FOR TOO MUCH OR ASKING THE WRONG MAN?
In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses: what's the difference between ‘being bought’ and being where your worth feels valued? Do you feel comfortable asking men for things or are you scared they will think you're 'fleecing' them? What makes a man worth being the 'right' man for you? Sometimes, you might not even by asking for too much...sometimes, he's just the wrong man! Join my patreon at patreon.com/theslumflower for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E34 · Fri, September 08, 2023
*SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!*
You waited patiently and it's finally happening...THE SLUMFLOWER HOUR IS NOW ON PATREON! Over at my Patreon page, you can enjoy the following benefits: BONUS MINISODES: 2 x Monthly Exclusive Mini-sodes (15-minute video bites) EXCLUSIVE WORKSHOP SERIES: access to the full video workshop series DIGITAL DOWNLOADS: access all worksheets and resource downloads including the BRAND NEW DILEMMA MANUAL - A quick guide to decide on whether to keep or leave that guy! EPISODES FROM THE VAULT: access the archive of unseen full-length podcast episodes LIVE RECORDINGS: stream exclusive audio from past live show recordings VOTING POWER: help pick which topics I should cover on the podcast MEMBERS ONLY GROUP CHAT: private member's community where you can chat amongst yourselves and share resources on how to better survive patriarchy FREE EBOOK: free download of The New Patriarchy’s Worst Nightmare, Volume 2: The E-Book (Ahead of its January 2024 public release, £10) I look forward to seeing you on the other side. Come join me! patreon.com/theslumflower Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E33 · Fri, September 01, 2023
SO YOU CAUGHT HIM LYING...
Are men trustworthy? Are there times when it's okay for a man to lie to you? Are you too honest with men? In a rather hilarious episode, Chidera unpacks the reality that the man you love will at some point, lie to you - and how we can make peace with the insincerity of men, whilst also accommodating the layers of nuance and reasoning as to why a man might lie; plus how we can benefit from catching him in said lie...depending on how damaging the lie is! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E32 · Fri, August 25, 2023
BUT WHAT ABOUT LOVE?
Is a straight relationship devoid of love if the woman employs critical thought and strategy in how she shows up in the partnership? Can love and money co-exist? Has this generation missed out on what 'real love' truly means? In this episode, The Slumflower muses on the most common rebuttal she gets from women: 'but what about love?' Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E31 · Thu, August 17, 2023
WHY YOUR BOUNDARIES AREN'T WORKING
Are you flimsy with your boundaries? Are you too forgiving of men? Do you find yourself being too agreeable and malleable? In this episode, Chidera discusses the idea of creating penalties when men hurt your feelings yet automatically expect forgiveness, why your boundaries might not be working, and what you can do to be stern while still maintaining your sweetness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E30 · Fri, August 11, 2023
SO YOU FUCKED HIM TOO SOON...NOW WHAT?
When is considered 'too soon' to sleep with a guy? Do men value it when you tell them 'I don't usually do this'? Are your sexual impulses sabotaging you? In this hilarious and anecdotal episode, Chidera discusses how a one-night-stand became a 3-week-bender, and what she learnt from the pursuit of instant gratification. We also touch on the controversy of sending nudes to men, and whether your power as a woman can still be redeemable after sleeping with a guy pretty early on into knowing him - especially if after the intimate exchange, you've noticed a change in his behaviour towards you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E29 · Fri, August 04, 2023
COMPROMISE VS SETTLING
Would you rather settle or compromise? Have you explored the difference between settling and compromising? Are you his dream girl or are you his intermediary space-filler while he uses you to get good enough for his dream girl? In this episode, join Chidera as she discusses why compromise isn't as bad as we think it is - and the ways men compromise in their partnerships with women too. We also touch on many women conflating compromise with settling, and why identifying that distinction could save you years of heartache and under-satisfaction. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E29 · Fri, July 28, 2023
IS FALLING IN LOVE HOLDING YOU BACK?
Are you addicted to dating apps? Has your pursuit for love become so persistent that you are willing to just accept whoever comes into your life? Are you dampening your ambitions to satisfy the man you're dating? In this episode, The Slumflower muses on the mistakes we make when we sell ourselves short in the hopes of fast-tracking a romantic connection. We also discuss whether long-distance relationships are a good idea, and why many women develop depression from a failing relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E28 · Fri, July 21, 2023
CONTROLLING YOUR SEXUAL URGES
Is sex different with celebrity men vs regular men? Are the women who think they’re better than sex workers aware they’re casually giving men free access to the same sex other women benefit from? Do men deserve bareback privileges? In this episode, The Slumflower talks about holding out vs giving in, being more likely to slip into 'friends with benefits' scenarios because you are driven by your sexual urges, as well as the issue of sending men nudes... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E28 · Thu, July 13, 2023
TRAPPED IN THE TALKING STAGE?
Is the 'talking stage' even a real thing or is that man securing you as his placeholder? Do we need better boundaries with men who we are granting the chance to get to know us? Should we be making men work harder for our phone numbers? In this episode, join Chidera as she troubleshoots the 'talking stage' and debunks the common male hesitancy to be more affirmative and enthusiastic in their pursuit of you, while she visits the various ways men use the 'talking stage' as a way to buy themselves more of your time that they are wasting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E27 · Thu, July 06, 2023
BECOMING MORE SAVAGE!
Should we be more 'unrealistic' in our desires and demands of men? Are we benefiting from holding back on giving men a taste of their own medicine? Does our definition of 'savage' need to change? In this episode, Chidera discusses why it matters to match a man's arrogance, why you need to stop explaining yourself to men and why it's important to hold space for the things you don't find attractive about him - no matter how much you fancy him, as a means of staying grounded without becoming grandiose in your attraction to him. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E27 · Fri, June 30, 2023
OBSESSION VS DEVOTION
Is it always a compliment when a man is obsessed with you? Should women be striving more for devotion in men they date? Does a man being obsessed with you mean he will meet your needs? In this episode, The Slumflower shares stories of men she's had to block due to obsession, along with a discussion on what makes obsession and devotion different - even though women seem to conflate the two concepts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E26 · Thu, June 22, 2023
CONTROLLING YOUR EMOTIONS
Are men right when they say women are 'too emotional'? Do we give our power away by crying in front of men about their actions? Should we be more strategic in how we present our sensitivity? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she covers the conundrum of feeling stupid after over-reacting, learning to communicate your feelings to men without gaslighting yourself/downplaying what you truly want to say, leaving the comfort zone of over-sharing your emotions with guys, and resisting the urge to share subliminal social media posts when you're feeling triggered. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E26 · Thu, June 15, 2023
IS THAT MAN FETISHISING YOU?
If you are an older woman who is dating a significantly younger man, have you explored the possibility that he may have a mommy kink? Are you a light-skinned woman dating a dark-skinned Black man? Have you considered the possibility that he might be anti-Black if all his dating history is mixed race/white women? Or maybe you might be a fat woman on the dating scene - have you ever considered that you deserve to leverage your uniqueness even further? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she visits the various ways men fetishise women - and ways that women can make that same fetishisation work in their favour if they so wish. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E25 · Fri, June 09, 2023
STAYING GROUNDED WHILE STANDING YOUR GROUND
Do you find yourself trying to be strong when ignoring men back, only to find yourself caving and giving into your urges to hear from him? Do you feel bad about mirroring a man's energy? Do you have a scarcity mindset with men and dating? In this episode, Chidera discusses the importance of having an emotional anchor to refer to when you start to ‘forget’ why you’re upset with that man, learning how to use pain as a focal point to guide your behaviour when interacting with a guy, and allowing yourself to experience dating hot guys, broke guys, popular guys and other iterations of men who can't do anything substantial for you - in order to rid yourself of the FOMO and curiosity and in turn, have a more focused outlook when dating with your future in mind. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E25 · Thu, June 01, 2023
SO HE'S COME BACK...NOW WHAT?
Is it really a good thing when a guy comes back? Are you his emotional crutch? Did someone else reject him and as a result, he’s come to seek comfort in you? In this episode, Chidera discusses why you probably should keep him on ice and stand your ground, why you need to start demanding reparations from repeat apologists, believing more in your sauce as the woman he's suddenly returned to, and making him work to earn the same spot in your life that he once took for granted. This is your world and the rules are yours to create and shape as you go along. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E24 · Fri, May 26, 2023
MEN OF THE ZODIAC...
Ever been with a Gemini man and wondered why he's like 'that'? Or have you dated a Scorpio man and haven't been able to understand why they do that obsessed-nonchalant thing? Maybe you've been with a Virgo man and you ended up leaving the relationship with insecurities you never even had to begin with... either way, you'll really enjoy this episode. From Aries through to Pisces, Chidera drags all the men of the zodiac signs - touching on reasons they're most likely to cheat, what makes them insufferable and how to catch them slipping! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E23 · Thu, May 18, 2023
IS THAT MAN JEALOUS OF YOU?
Do you find yourself feeling like that man is trying to compete with you? Is his desire to be right more important than his desire to treat you right? Do you feel like you need to minimise your accomplishments and wins in front of him, as a means of avoiding making him feel small? If you answered 'yes' to at least one of these, this episode is especially for you! During this thought stream, Chidera touches on the cunning and often overlooked ways that insecure men jealously chip away at your self esteem to make themselves feel like they're better than you. Whether he's a silent story-watcher, or a sudden 'Mr Unbothered' who was flirting with you the week before, there's something to take away from this episode to hopefully equip yourself with the awareness to spot men like this early on... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E22 · Thu, May 11, 2023
MAKING THE FIRST MOVE?
Is making the first move with a man desperate...or decisive? Are there exceptions where making the first move might be a good idea? Is the feminist idea of equality through moving to men, serving us or sabotaging us? In this episode, The Slumflower visits moments where she's made the first move - including times when it has and hasn't worked! She also discusses non-desperate ways to make the first move whilst retaining your position as the goddess whose trust deserves to be delightfully earned. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E21 · Fri, May 05, 2023
MANIFESTING A MAN?
Are you 'manifesting' the man of your dreams or are you too hyper-fixated on the prospect of a man loving you? Are you really returning to church to seek closeness with the Lord or are you looking for a man? Have you found yourself so deep in the rabbit hole of obsession, that you're paying tarot readers and astrologers to confirm your bias that he likes you back? In this episode, Chidera talks about how digitised spirituality has enabled us into a mindset of using 'magic' to call regular-ass men into our lives, the danger of being so attached to the idea of finding love that you forget to dream beyond meeting a man, and the reality that if you have to 'manifest' him, you're probably already obsessed with him... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E20 · Sat, April 29, 2023
FOCUSED ON THE WRONG VALUES?
Are you prioritising values in dating that aren't productive to you? Are you attracting low effort men who are drawn to your low self esteem? Is your fixation on morality keeping you stuck within the realm of dating men who are dull and unimpressive? In this episode, The Slumflower discusses donating pussy to needy men out of fear to be seen as a bad person, separating yourself from maliciously imposed values coming from family and religion, and the danger of dating to marry. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E19 · Thu, April 20, 2023
THE FALLACY OF THE FRIENDZONE
Why is the word 'friendzone' such a loaded term? How did we arrive at a place where men have successfully managed to push the 'friends with benefits' propaganda whilst they largely remain the only people who actually benefit from this mutual agreement? Are we deluding ourselves by letting the homies hit, in the hopes that they will treat us better than men we barely know? In this episode, Chidera dissertates on why she believes stingy men should be fast-tracked to the friendzone, ways women can tangibly benefit from a 'friends with benefits' setup and why good-looking men deserve to be treated just like regular-looking men. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E18 · Thu, April 13, 2023
REVENGE & REPARATIONS
Are men oppressed by misandry? Why do we feel bad about asking our oppressors for stuff? Has feminism worked for us in dating? Can reparative justice and wholesome revenge serve as liberationist praxis? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she touches on the idea of learning to be stern even when we are scared to upset men, exploring the possibilities of how much better things could be for us if we de-prioritized being liked by people who nut in socks and de-bunking the fear-mongering instilled by men, that we have taken our empowerment 'too far'. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E17 · Fri, April 07, 2023
CUTTING OFF YOUR FRIENDS BUT KEEPING YOUR BOYFRIEND?
Why do we make exceptions and excuses for men yet, we penalise our female friends for similar offences? What happens when we enmesh our personalities with the men we are dating and in effect, we neglect our friendships with the women in our lives? Why do we leap at the idea of moving countries to strengthen a long-distance relationship with a man yet, we feel fear to take a risk of that size for our own selves? In this episode, Chidera discusses the complexity of showing up for friends who complain about their boyfriends and still stay, losing yourself in your partnerships with men, and why we have placed so much emphasis on being picked by men, that we have forgotten how to be in community with women. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E16 · Thu, March 30, 2023
INSTINCTS VS IMPULSES
Are you really following your gut...or are you being led by your impulses? Does your pursuit of love compel you to operate from a place of FOMO and as a result, you keep finding yourself in situations you have to emotionally recover from? Is your romantic search for dopamine leading you to disappointment? In this short and sweet episode of The Slumflower Hour, Chidera discusses her relationship with rejection-sensitivity, the mistake we sometimes make of conflating a connection with compatibility, and learning to use your impulses to your advantage - as opposed to always giving into urges you haven't confronted. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E15 · Fri, March 24, 2023
THE PARADOX OF PEOPLE-PLEASING
Does being a people pleaser put you in a position where you're more likely to encounter financially and emotionally manipulative men? Are we conflating kindness with codependency? What do we gain from putting men's sexual needs above our own? Why are people accepting 'nap/shower dates' from men? In this episode, Chidera visits her past as a former 'pick me' (aka desperate dater), the pitfalls of financially sponsoring men who will spend your money on other women, signing legally-binding documents with crooked men, letting men use your car/address to do shady shit, referring to yourself as a 'easy down-ass chick' when really, you're scared men won't pick you... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E14 · Fri, March 17, 2023
DESPERATION IN DATING...
Have you ever considered that your desperation might be repelling the men who are actually meant for you? With the rise of 'femininity coaching', are men even worth the fixation we place on being 'feminine' for them? Are femininity coaches desperate? Is Lori Harvey being 'passed around' by men, or is she onto something we haven't clocked yet? In this rather hilarious episode, Chidera discusses her own past with trying out the 'femininity' approach to dating, and delves into why in her experience and opinion, it doesn't work. In a world where relationships with men can grant us social currency, are we picking men based on what will look nice online, or are we choosing male partners based on how ready they are to support and love us as multi-dimensional beings? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E13 · Fri, March 10, 2023
DO YOU WANT 'CLOSURE' OR CONTROL?
Why do we even seek closure after a relationship has ended? Is it to find peace in a resolved answer? Are we secretly looking for one last opportunity to re-connect? Does ending a relationship on friendly/open-ended terms give us closure? In this week's episode, The Slumflower discusses why the pursuit of closure could be linked to the desire to feel a sense of control - and why this usually comes from not wanting to confront feelings of rejection and idleness. Do we give our power away when we entertain our own delusions of what it means when an ex returns out of the blue? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E12 · Fri, March 03, 2023
REASONS TO LEAVE THAT MAN
Do his compliments feel forced? Do you find yourself clinging onto minor moments and over-analyzed texts, to justify to yourself that he 'does' like you? Is he in competition with you? If you resonated with any of these questions, it might be time to leave that man. For some of us, walking away feels too scary to fathom, but the best way to start is to compile a list of pros and cons, starting with reasons to leave vs reasons to stay! Join Chidera, as she goes through a comprehensive list of reasons to leave that man - and why you must trust in that decision if it feels right for you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E11 · Fri, February 24, 2023
FROM LOVEBOMBING TO LOW-BALLING
Is that man gassing you up to disarm you, only to slowly start pulling away and giving you less? In this episode, The Slumflower discusses why you might need to pause on dating men if you're a pushover, and whether looks are a good enough reason to give a guy a chance to date you. Are visually-appealing relationships becoming the new content farms for influencers who have something to prove? Is posting your boyfriend bad luck for the relationship? Are men even worth publicly claiming anymore? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E10 · Fri, February 17, 2023
IS HE 'MR RIGHT' OR MR RIGHT NOW?
Trying to figure out if the guy you're currently seeing is just for a season? In this episode, Chidera dissertates on the difference between a 'Mr Right' and a 'Mr Right Now'. Does it feel like you conveniently have a lot in common with your guy but for some reason, something still feels off? Or is there a compatibility even though you both maintain your unique individualism? Do you feel conditionally desired by him? Or are you confident in his attraction to you? By the end of this episode, you'll be able to figure out if he's a keeper or a leaver! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E9 · Fri, February 10, 2023
NEGOTIATING YOUR NEEDS
In this hilarious episode, join Chidera as she ponders on encountering patriarchy when dating: are men ever worth neglecting your non-negotiables for? Do you even have non-negotiables for men you prefer to date and if not, why are you scared? Why are there men who love women that know what they like, until what that woman likes is money, or something else he cannot falsely present? What happens if we accept that all relationships are somewhat transactional? Will we then, be able to approach the conversation of negotiation as an important element of partnering with men? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E8 · Fri, February 03, 2023
DISCERNMENT ON DATING APPS
In an episode full of spicy dating app anecdotes, join The Slumflower as she discusses what to put on your profile to best communicate your standards while still being fun and flirty, alarming things to look out for on a guy's dating app profile, why she doesn't believe in giving out your phone number to men on dating apps - even if you've agreed too meet for the first time, and why you should probably avoid telling men you're 'looking for a relationship'! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E7 · Fri, January 27, 2023
EMOTIONAL EROSION: THE TOLL MEN TAKE ON US
Is the desperation and hurry to find 'the one' leading us into the arms of dangerous men? Can being an 'independent woman' put you at more risk of accepting men who dump their financial problems onto you? What happens if the abusive man you're dating has finally started therapy? Should you cling onto the hope that he will start treating you better, or should you cut your losses and leave even if there's a (slim) chance he might actually change forever? In this episode, The Slumflower explores the emotional erosion men enact on us, and why walking away will almost always be a better choice than to stay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E7 · Fri, January 20, 2023
THINGS I'VE CHANGED MY MIND ON...
Have you ever been swiped on a dating app by a man who once bullied you? Are 'all men' really bad? Would you date a simp? Amongst these questions, Chidera discusses sentiments regarding men that she's changed her mind on, reserving her femdom sadism for white men, and her cash kink - along with a story of when a man paid her for a 'girlfriend experience'. Should men pay to date us or have women taken the self-appreciation too far? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E6 · Fri, January 13, 2023
COME GET ME WHEN YOU'VE GOT YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!
Are you granting men #PityPussy because you feel sorry for them? Do you feel like a bad person for not wanting to date a guy who isn't doing very well in his life right now? Are you picking men as partners or projects and how long do these projects usually last before you recognise you've slipped back into the cycle of saving men? If you answered 'yes' to any of these, YOU'RE NOT ALONE! Amongst this array of questions, The Slumflower discusses the advantages of asexuality in dating, deliberately amping up the sexy after leaving him (for his own good), and manoeuvring sexual tension with sexy male friends - without falling into the friends-with-benefits trap! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E5 · Fri, January 06, 2023
TO BLOCK? OR NOT TO BLOCK?
Does every sour situation need to end in blocking him? Or are there other ways to teach him how to treat you? When blocking men from having undeserved access to you, there is a fear of looking 'bitter'. But maybe coming across scorned in response to misogyny isn't the worst thing that could ever happen to you! In this episode, The Slumflower discusses why insecure men usually target strong, bold women - along with all the encouragement, affirmation and motivation you need to get rid of that man who's lingering in the corridors of your life like a lost Victorian child. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E4 · Fri, December 30, 2022
ROMANCE IN A RECESSION?
As the recession rises, will we start accepting even less from men because we feel sorry for them? Are we going to see a rise in women accommodating men at their own expense? Women are scared of being financially abused by men who out-earn them, but does paying men's way instead, protect us from their abuse? Join The Slumflower, as she opens up the question of whether a woman can be feminist and accept financial support from men, and whether we are shooting ourselves in the foot by veering too far down the rabbit hole of ‘independence’. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E3 · Fri, December 23, 2022
I'M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, I'M YOUR GODDESS.
Have you ever imagined what a powerful version of yourself would look like if you knew you'd never face judgement or failure? Why are we so scared of upholding our own sexual power in a world where men exert their dominion on us everyday? The Slumflower opens up about her experience as a dominatrix, why women deserve to be adored on their terms, and how leaning into your femme-dominance might actually be the catalyst for healing your relationship with men. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S1 E2 · Fri, December 16, 2022
SO IS HE BUSY OR IS HE BORED OF YOU?
How do you deal with the inevitable male complacency, that comes with making yourself far too available, way too soon? What does it mean when he suddenly starts to pull away after being intense with you? In this episode, The Slumflower talks pole dancing as a sexy hobby, being able to spot an unserious man, along with ideas on how to gracefully handle ghosting! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Trailer · Thu, December 08, 2022
WELCOME TO THE SLUMFLOWER HOUR!
What happens when being a good girl doesn't work? What happens when you finally decide to know your worth and act on it? Is your joy worth the temporary sacrifice of familiarity and comfort? Or is it safer to settle into the subjugation and watch your life pass you by? Chidera is the angel on your shoulder, here to remind you that it's not too late to redeem your power as a woman. She's also the shoulder demon that will 100% enable you to be that extra little bit more selfish. After all, men do it all the time right? Watch and listen every Friday! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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