The life of a Third Culture Kid therapist
Rachel is, amongst many other things, a Third Culture Kid therapist specialising in Life Story Interview and Accompaniment, an approach she developed from her Sociological doctorial research into TCK identity, belonging and relationship to place. This podcast is a place she comes to contribute her ponderings on personal growth, working with pain, and the transformative change that comes from a better understanding of our own stories. For more information about Rachel’s therapeutic work, please visit: www.explorelifestory.com or drop her a line at rachelcason@explorelifestory.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, April 25, 2025
149 - The Cycle of Change, and Staying
It's that time of year I get restless... actually, more like that time every four years... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, March 14, 2025
148 - Frustrated with myself...
This episode is born of frustration - and I know it's frustration I share with other Third Culture Kids. This is my meandering offering this week - a honest glimpse at the process of making choices from what can feel like an impossible spinning carousel - who will this choice make me, express and what kind of me 'should' I be in this moment? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, February 28, 2025
147 - Holidays... there and back again
So I missed talking to you all last week - because I was away on holiday! The most wonderful time, but also a good moment to reflect on themes that come up a lot for Third Culture Kids - travel, holidays, and coming home... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, February 14, 2025
146 - Concentrated Identities
Do you struggle with feeling not-enough? Confused about which of your identities you are supposed to focus on and do 'properly'? We aren't alone - and I'm seeing these sensations show up for many of us. In this episode I explore the notion of growing up with identity archetypes, concentrated identities played out in short bursts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, February 07, 2025
145 - A Space to Grieve
So many Third Culture Kids are dealing with deep reservoirs of grief. Present day loss has a habit of pressing the bruises of losses felt earlier through our story, and it can be devastating to our sense of safety. In this episode I walk through one way of creating space for this grief, via intentional space and ritual. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, January 31, 2025
144 - TCKs and Helplessness
How big a part of your identity is 'helper'? And what happens when we find ourselves unable to help others, or even ourselves? What happens when we encounter helplessness? This episode ponders the ways in which our TCK experiences impact our experience of helplessness, and how we can meet it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, January 24, 2025
143 - Is being a TCK a good thing?
How many of us have been confronted with the question, "Is being a Third Culture Kid a good thing?" It's a question that feels to me to miss the point - and in this episode I explore why, and how we can better understand our traits and tendencies with nuance. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, January 17, 2025
142 - Identity by Association
As TCKs, many of us are aware of the nature of our representational or ambassador identities growing up. In this episode I explore how this early experience of identity by association could be impacting the choices around friendship or relationships we may be making in our adult lives. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, January 10, 2025
141 - Exceptionally Ordinary
In January, many of us are reflecting on various ways to improve ourselves. In this episode I'm exploring how often I hear TCKs struggling with the need to be extraordinary, and the fear of identities more mundane. I'll share my observations about what's going on here, and a poem I wrote today, on the Forbidden Fruit of being Ordinary. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, December 13, 2024
140 - The Narrative Voice
Who is the narrator of your story? And is the voice a critical or demanding one? Or is it on the hero's side? In this episode I explore the impact and power of our narrative voices, and explore what these voices could sound like. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, December 06, 2024
139 - Frivolous Identities
I loved this phrase I heard last week, "frivolous identity" - and wanted to explore it here with you. I've often pondered the way we manage an internal hierarchy of our many identities and this phrase put it's finger on a theme I see come up a lot! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, November 29, 2024
138 - Making and Creating
How many Third Culture Kids are busy deconstructing our stories? Or working to build identities from what often feel like disparate fragments? In this episode I'm pondering my own relationship with making and creating, and what it can do for us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, November 15, 2024
137 - Cultural Icebergs and Meaning-making
Some feedback from last episode on purpose and TCKs really brought home to me another challenge faced by many TCKs around purpose - which this episode attempts to do justice to. How do we navigate our own values when we've not been told stories of values, just observable differences? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, November 08, 2024
136 - TCKs and Purpose-Seeking
I've been avoiding this episode - partly because I'm feeling how incredibly important it is. How does the experience of being a TCK interact with our purpose-seeking? And what do we do about it? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, November 01, 2024
135 - Look how far you've come...
Taking pause in this episode, a moment to notice, acknowledge and celebrate how far we've come! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, October 25, 2024
134 - TCKs and Time
Time! How does the Third Culture Kid experience impact our sense of time? It's often said TCKs are somewhat allergic to the 10 year plan - but why? And what about the impact on how we do relationships? Join me in this week's ponderings - I'd love to hear your thoughts too! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, October 18, 2024
133 - Invisible Contracts
How many of us learnt that we could 'make ourselves safe' by offering certain behaviours - compliance, being a good listener, being 'interesting'? In this episode I'm exploring what we may have learnt we could expect back, if we could just find the offering to provide - the contracts we have entered into with our behaviours. "If I'm this, then you will be that" the rule goes. Except when the other party can't see and didn't agree to the contract we have signed up for... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, October 11, 2024
132 - Attachment Figures... and a poem
What about the characters in our story that we struggle to find a place for? The people whose languages we've maybe lost but who cared for us as children, worked in our homes or with our parents; these are pivotal points of attachment safety for us. In this episode I explore the limits of attachment theory for TCKs, where it is getting delightfully expanded, and how we can honour attachment figures in our stories. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, October 04, 2024
131 - The Money Narrative
Money! What's it got to do with the Third Culture Experience? Between complex juxtapositions between wealth experiences between countries, modelled standards and shapes of living, expectations around meaningful employment - quite a lot! I wanted to spend some time here on this because it does come up in my work with TCKs, and my own life too, and feels an important element to understand in our stories. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, September 27, 2024
130 - Feasible Alternate Realities
In this meandering episode, I'm observing how the practice of imagining feasible alternate realities can benefit us. Sometimes called re-scripting, working with feasible alternative realities is about recognising when we are so busy accommodating (or trying to manage the outcome of) others' decisions, that we shoulder the emotional work to excess. When we imagine feasible alternative realities to difficult situations, we recognise the agency of others' and the ways in which we are not solely responsible for stories that are in fact co-collaborated. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, September 20, 2024
129 - Macro and Micro Identities
"Who am I?" is a question that Third Culture Kids agonise over, and I've observed some patterns here - that we often focus on the 'big identities', the ones that give meaning and purpose on a global scale, as we've been taught to. And there is nothing wrong with that. But I ponder here about the degree to which this identities are often socially framed - who am I... to others, the world? And I invite some time spent with what I'd call 'micro identities' - what happens when we pay attention to the who we are on a day to day, desires and needs way? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, September 13, 2024
128 - If I make life work here...
"If I make life work here, then I'm committing to being here forever". Versions of this statement is something I hear so often in my work with Third Culture Kids, and so this episode spends some time looking at how hard it is for us to invest in the here and now... when this implies so much letting go of other options and opportunities. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, August 30, 2024
127 - Guilt Triggers for TCKs
Guilt - that horrible twisting feeling in our gut that so often shows up, unbidden and unwelcome. As awkward as it is, today I'm digging into what can trigger this in TCK stories especially, and how we can bring understanding and context to this sensation - and recognise it as something beyond a simple indicator we've done something 'wrong'. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, August 23, 2024
126 - Intrinsic versus Extrinsic Value
Are you confused by how you think about your own worth? Maybe one part of you feel like you have things to offer, that you have value to add, but another feels like you can't quite believe the idea you matter to other people... Third Culture Kids often experience this paradox - "I am someone, but I'm not someone to others". I explore this experience here as tension between experiences of intrinsic and extrinsic value and I'd love to hear your thoughts! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, August 16, 2024
125 - The Courtroom of Feelings
I'm noticing how many of us TCKs are struggling to set boundaries without feeling the need to build a case of moral justification - our own feelings and needs don't seem to be 'enough' to allow us to say, "No". Here I'm exploring what might be going on, the potential impact of this, and how important it is to listen out for this in our narratives. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, August 09, 2024
124 - Decluttering Identity
I'm in a season of decluttering... and my TCK self is happily familiar with how soothing it feels to streamline. So many of us get anxious at the accumulation of stuff (however will it all fit in my suitcase?!) but I'm a lover of things. What I'm seeing through is how important it is for my material surroundings to remind me of WHO I am. This episode looks at how this can get complicated with complex TCK identities! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, August 02, 2024
123 - Red Flags, Green Flags
"I saw the signs... and I went there anyway!" I hear this so often, and it's such a familiar cry of my own heart too. We are often admonished to 'watch out for the red flags' but I'm wondering how much this is the relevant issue. Here I'm exploring what can lead TCKs to be especially vulnerable to seeing the warning signs of incompatible behaviours or values, and going there anyway. I'm also sharing why I feel getting clearer about our 'green flags' can be a more helpful tool to many TCKs. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, July 26, 2024
122 - Editing the Story
In this episode, I'm pondering associations between changes and endings. In my story recently, I realised my needs had changed and the impact this was having around my book club involvement. I quickly assumed that acknowledging this change would initiate an ending, a quitting and loss around community. But what if changes could be integrated into a new chapter? A story edited rather than lost? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, July 19, 2024
121 - Acclimatised to Discomfort
What are the implications of a life lived in adaptation? One of them seems to be a familiarity with discomfort! This can impact different TCKs different ways - some of us get super sensitive to challenge, over-saturated as we have been in early chapters. Some of us identify so much with challenge that we continue to seek it out in our adult lives. Either reaction may be working with an acclimatisation with discomfort. We can become so attuned to discomfort as our baseline that we normalise it - either in ways that keep us in it, avoidant or unclear about what changes we could make to improve our experience, or in ways that avoid comfort by seeking growth to exhausting degrees. Either way, what happens when we get acclimatised to discomfort? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, July 12, 2024
120 - Coming Home
Today I'm reflecting on coming home. As TCKs, we can often develop sensitivities and strategies for managing the leaving experiences of our lives, but I'm noticing an area I want to work on - returning. I know leaving, do I know how to return? Turns out I didn't handle my most recent return brilliantly, so this episode is walking through that experience with you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, July 05, 2024
119 - TCKs and Selfies
So I messed up the timing of this one! Got all organised, and recorded before going away last week on holiday - then never scheduled it to post! So it's going out this week instead :) In this episode I ponder something that comes up a lot - with TCKs and in general discourse - the Selfie! I'm always fascinated when we have a resistance against something, and I wanted to explore this as something that I think is an untapped resource in our work around belonging. Here I explore how the simple selfie can be another tool for us to use to land our Selves in context, witness to our moments of connection and ground us. I'd love to know your thoughts! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, June 21, 2024
118 - Different Modes of Me
After some creative scribbling, I feel like I've cracked something I want to now share with you - how I've seen myself privilege one version of my identity over others! This is something I hear us especially prone to doing if managing fluctuating energy levels, sometimes due to chronic conditions or illnesses. As TCKs, the pressure is often on to demonstrate our 'added value' and I share here the different contributions that my 'different modes of me' make. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, June 14, 2024
117 - TCKs and Aging
What do our TCK stories tell us about aging? And how does this impact our identities? This episode throws open this question and explores how we can use our stories as a resource to help us understand where our own (perhaps multiple) constructs of aging come from, and how we can navigate this with mindfulness and gentleness. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, May 31, 2024
116 - Initiating Change Protocol
This last week I hit a familiar feeling - low motivation, a sense of 'what's the point anyway?' and general resistance to the elements and rhythms of my daily life. As with all of my confusing feelings, I tried to look at the context around it - and realised I was coming up to my three year mark: It's nearly three years I've been in this new house and my TCK clock was getting ready to lose it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, May 24, 2024
115- Birthday Ponderings
So birthdays can bring up a lot for people, and for TCKs, these were often affected by mobility: Who do you invite to a party when you are the new kid? How do people celebrate here? And mine tends to make me pensive around identity also - who have I been this year, and where am I at now? And so in this podcast, I invite you to ponder with me those identities we inhabit but especially those we might stop short of claiming, because we "can't do them properly" or may feel we don't have time to establish. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, May 17, 2024
114 - The Secret of Happiness
I've just read Paulo Coelho's "The Alchemist" and now I know the secret of happiness... and it's reminiscent of what I see Third Culture Kids doing every day in the tension they work to hold - between the "here" in my hand and the "there" out in the world. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, May 10, 2024
113 - Where My Behaviours Make Sense
Am I bad at communicating my needs, or did I just learn how to communicate in an indirect, obligation-based culture? Am I over-bearing, or did I just learn that high-volume enthusiasm is how one communicates love? The places of our stories have so much to offer in helping us understand why our way of being may not fit easily in the here and now, but is utterly functional - somewhere else! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, April 26, 2024
112 Third Culture Kids and Self Esteem
As with so many mainstream concepts, I find that Third Culture Kids often have a complicated and nuanced experience of "self-esteem", so it's definitely worth talking about! Some of us absolutely struggle with feelings of worthlessness, a grim and exhausting experience. Others of us, find that we have a strong sense of our own worth, and yet find ourselves feeling just as insecure of others' regard. What is going on? This podcast explores what I'm seeing in many TCKs - that we can know our worth AND have a really hard time believing or accepting the regard of others. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, April 19, 2024
111 - Social Mistakes and Emotional Flashbacks
So many Third Culture Kids tell me how they can feel suddenly triggered or 'tugged' back into a previous chapter by the "smallest thing". This can be an amazing moment of nostalgic joy but often it's a moment of pain - a flooding feeling that dislocates us from the present moment. If we are to avoid self-shaming for "over-reacting" or being "too sensitive", it's important to understand these emotional flashbacks as bruise points from our story. My most recent moment happened on holiday, in London. The smallest thing, and the biggest opportunity to practise my own self-compassion. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, April 05, 2024
110 - Rest, Productivity and Growing Pains
I've been wrestling with rest this week, and contemplating how my TCK story complicates my relationship with rest. Also explored, how hard and awful it can feel to change our narratives! Even when that change itself feels good... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, March 29, 2024
109 - Health and the TCK
Whether via health trauma or everyday cultural stories around body and wellness, health is a huge chapter in the Third Culture Kid story. Growing up with the classic, "Where There is no Doctor" book as a staple in my home in Niger, I explore here the role of health experiences on my own story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, March 22, 2024
108 - The Renewal of Spring
When staying in place, seasonal change becomes a helpful access point to change and novelty for Third Culture Kids. Join me in this episode as I contemplate how we can review and renew our multifaceted selves at the the season's change. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, March 15, 2024
107 - Room for all of Me
There are so many elements to our selves as Third Culture Kids it can feel stifling to feel stuck in one iteration of self for long. Moving to places that invite a different self forward is one solution, but today I'm reflecting on how setting internal boundaries can spin the dial and allow different selves to take space alongside one another. In all this, the Japanese idea, "yutori" is one I'm finding very helpful - unhurried spaciousness applied to our many selves. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, March 08, 2024
106 - Third Culture Kids and Boundaries
Boundaries... we can have a very heavy relationship with this word. Fear of crossing them, of faux pas, and fear of setting them - this is the story for many Third Culture Kids. In this episode I'm exploring what it is about our experiences of mobility that can complicate boundaries for us, and how we can rebuild relationship with them. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, February 23, 2024
105 - Why can it be hard to feel good?
So many of us are struggling to learn how to overcome challenges, change thought patterns and achieve our goals. So why, just as we start to see ourselves make these hard won changes, do we sometimes hit a whole new level of discomfort - that of feeling good!? Many Third Culture Kids find that the struggle and change is more familiar to us than the work of maintaining 'arrival' in those good places we dream of... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, February 09, 2024
104 - am I a good learner as a TCK?
TCKs often grow up accustomed to the need to learn new skills quickly (with varying degrees of felt success!) and this can complicate our relationship to our identities as 'learners'. In some ways we receive feedback we are ahead of our passport peers, and in other ways we can feel very behind. In this episode I explore something that has recently got me contemplating my own belief about myself as a 'poor learner'. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, January 26, 2024
103 - When we don't want to need care.
I hear this a lot, "but I don't want to need to take care of me". It's often in recognition of how much you've been through, how much taking care of yourself has already cost you... and the pain of realising how much time and energy your body, mind and heart are still asking of you... and today I'm sitting with you here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, January 19, 2024
102 - Third Culture Kids and Reciprocity
How does being a TCK impact how we approach reciprocity in relationships? In my experience, it often leads us to want to heavily weight the experience towards us being givers, rather than takers... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, January 12, 2024
101 - New Year's Resolutions - abandoned already?
It's the new year, and how are those resolutions coming along? Are you feeling motivated? Accomplished? Or, like me, are you wondering why your goals are now making you feel so judged? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, January 05, 2024
100 - Audiobook playtime and a big thank you
Today Rachel started recording the audiobook for her book, "Incredible Lives and the Courage to Live Them" (print copies currently available at https://amzn.eu/d/hd88atF), and shares her experience, as well as her gratitude. Audiobooks played a huge part in her TCK childhood, and she reflects on the significance of auditory communication. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, December 29, 2023
99 - A Year in Review
129 clients in, and nearly 8000 downloads in the last year of this podcast, and it's time to reflect before the year turns to 2024! In this episode I invite you to review your year too - with gratitude for the you that travelled with you these last 12 months. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, December 22, 2023
98 - You are a gift
At a season where so many of us are wrapped up (see what I did there?!) in finding the perfect gifts, I want to take a moment to explore how the idea of being a gift to the world may have touched our story as Third Culture Kids, and how I'd like to offer a reframe. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, December 15, 2023
97 - A Hallmark Christmas
The familiar (and repetitive) scripts of Christmas Hallmark movies remind me of how we can find safety in the predictable stories we hold this season. However, it's worth exploring if these familiar stories are ones we are choosing, or if we even feel good about the characters we are playing! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, December 01, 2023
96 - Other People's Stories of Us
How comfortable are we when other people's stories of us don't align with how we want to be perceived? In my experience, it's a common human experience to feel the need to have some control over the story of who we are. For many TCKs, it's aligned to our very social survival... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, November 24, 2023
95 - Third Culture Kids and Leadership
In this episode, I'm exploring the expectations that form around leadership for Third Culture Kids... what are your experiences? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, November 17, 2023
94 - Let's break a social rule... on purpose!
Ok, this is a fun one... What do we feel about breaking social rules? For me there is a shiver of dread around this, a reaction that remembers the cost of cultural faux pas. But what about if we are breaking rules intentionally? What rule would you break? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, November 10, 2023
93 - Are they the right one for me?
This is such a common question I hear from Third Culture Kids trying to work out their relationship stories... and in this episode I want to explore what could be going on here for us. Why do we need to be so sure? And what could this focus on the other be denying ourselves? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, November 03, 2023
92 My weird is showing on my walls...
Now that I have an established space, I'm feeling a whole new set of feelings around inviting people into that space - my weird is showing on the walls! In this episode I explore more about the vulnerability of letting ourselves show up in our homes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, October 27, 2023
91 - Power and Change
Change has been the constant for so many Third Culture Kids, for so long. If there is one thing we can count on, it's change. Yet what is our relationship with change - and how much power do we feel we have in it? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, October 20, 2023
90 - I Belong Where I Want To
This title, "I Belong Where I Want To" feels so subversive... I'm so acutely aware of the pain I and so many other TCKs have felt around belonging that this phrase feels almost ridiculous. And yet I've come to believe it - utterly. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, October 13, 2023
89 Dancing through our Story
Rachel explored discovering a new way to connect to her body, moving from self-consciousness into joy, and reflects on the ways our bodies hold different chapters of our stories. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, October 06, 2023
88 Do I Need or Do I Want?
Rachel explores how many TCKs have learnt to minimize needs, to such an extent that the things we need to thrive start to feel like luxuries we shouldn't want. She offers another way in to discovering what our needs may be and how to acknowledge them. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, September 29, 2023
87 My Pet Peeve
In this episode, Rachel goes head to head with here pet peeve - her own habit of living by old rules she don't want anymore... So many Third Culture Kids picked up rules throughout their lives, are they serving us anymore? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, September 08, 2023
86 Blocks to Journaling
Journaling comes up a lot as a tool to help us process our stories. In this episode Rachel explores why journaling can be useful to us, what blocks we may face and some options to open up journaling as an option for us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, September 01, 2023
85 Social Capital - TCK impact audit!
Rachel came across the idea of social capital in her sociology studies, but sees it come up a lot for Third Culture Kids. If social capital is the idea of the social networks that make us feel connected and embedded in our communities, do TCKs feel they have enough? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, June 23, 2023
84 A loft of magical things
Rachel's getting her loft boarded... and it's bringing up some Third Culture Kid stuff. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, June 09, 2023
83 My Favourite Things...
"What's your favourite...?" This is not a fun question for me. For what occasion? In which country? In what language? Defining our preferences can be tough as TCKs, and this episode explores why and how we can approach this differently. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, June 02, 2023
82 Indicators Transition is Going Well (or Not)
Here again, Kristi Steele of www.kc360.co is asking questions many of us do about how TCKs may experience transition but this one is especially for those caregivers who want to be active participants in this challenging chapter of life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mon, May 22, 2023
81 Talking TCKs on BBC Radio Lincolnshire
On May 19th I spoke to Melvyn Prior on BBC Radio Lincolnshire about TCKs and my book " Incredible Lives and the Courage to Live Them: Thoughts of a Third Culture Kid therapist ". If you are an adult TCK, you probably sense that the multicultural, high mobility experiences of your childhood continue to impact your life in some way now. Making sense of the impact of these experiences, however, can feel overwhelming, especially if we have long experience of our stories being met with bafflement and incredulity. My hope is that this collection of my thoughts over the last seven years of working with Third Culture Kids will create space for you to explore and make sense of the incredible life you’ve lived. More information about ordering the book can be found here: https://www.explorelifestory.com/book/ More of Melvyn's shows are available on BBC Sounds: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/p001gr43 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, May 19, 2023
80 TCK Romance and Relationships
This episode comes to you thanks to Kristi Steele of www.kc360.co whose dedication to aiding college students transition well has extended to reaching out to me! Kristi asks me in this episode about what TCKs need to be considering (and what their parents should be aware of!) around the particular challenges they may face around romantic relationships as they start their college years. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, May 05, 2023
79 Now or never, the impact of the truncated timeline
Many TCKs struggle with a sense of a shortened timeline - leading to a sense of 'now or never'. Rachel ponders how this impacts us and how her garden is stretching her ability to 'wait and see'. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Thu, April 27, 2023
78 The Successful TCK
We often carry a sense of how a "good" TCK life should look - and the burden of this can be crushing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, March 07, 2023
77 The "Fun" Self
The "Fun" Self Do we know who we are if we don't know what our personal preferences and pleasures are? How does "fun" get complicated when we are Third Culture Kids? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mon, January 16, 2023
76 My cat passed away. And so much remains
Trigger warning: pet loss This last week has been full of grief, transition, joy and (as always with me) reflections on how my story informs how I'm experiencing this current chapter of life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mon, December 26, 2022
75 A Christmas Walk and Talk
Let's take a few minutes together - join me on my winter walk and let's talk about how you are doing, what Christmas can bring up for TCKs and how even a walk can bring up self-consciousness! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mon, December 12, 2022
74 A walk towards belonging
How do you know you belong? Walking through our landscapes can become one way towards a deliberate intent to belong, as Rachel explores here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mon, November 28, 2022
73 A conversation with Tanya Crossman - the TCK ACEs research
One of my favourite people to talk "TCK" with is Tanya - she is so knowledgeable and generous with her insights. In this conversation we are talking through observations arising from the recent research she conducted with Lauren Wells around TCKs and ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences). ACE scores have so much to indicate around future physical and mental health outcomes for TCKs through their adult lives, so it's an important study for all of us who are TCKs or who are working with TCKs. And it was so good to connect over our mutual care for this wonderful community. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mon, November 14, 2022
72 A language app and the hope it brings
I discovered a new language app this week - and it's a bittersweet revelation... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mon, October 31, 2022
71 Ambassadors of our Stories
The stories we tell - how do we act as ambassadors of our countries, and our Selves? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, March 08, 2022
70 Money as Identity
Our beliefs and values around finances is a great indicator of identity - how we spend our money tells us about our priorities and preferences. Walk with Rachel through your own financial story in this episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, February 22, 2022
69 My Home Story
Sharing some of my own story in this episode - how moving into my current home has invited a whole new challenge around expressing self in this space! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, February 15, 2022
68 Comfort or Stuckness
Do you know what your comfort zone is? Third Culture Kid comfort zones can look very different from other people's... and what about if you have never had one at all? Rachel ponders all this, and also how we distinguish comfort from something a lot of us dread... stuckness. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, February 08, 2022
67 You don't have to earn a good story...
This episode invites you to shed any shame you are holding for your past chapters and let go of any sense of needing to earn better chapters to come... You don't have to earn a good story - YOU are the good story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, February 01, 2022
66 Creating Sacred Space
This is a tool that Rachel frequently recommends - it offers a place to integrate identities, express commitment to self and grounds us in our own thoughts and feelings. Will you build your own sacred space today? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, January 25, 2022
65 My 24 hour tantrum
What can a tantrum serve? Well, for many TCKs it can be a healthy, albeit uncomfortable, moment where we are struggling with 'sameness' in our lives. It was for me this week and in this episode I'm talking about how sameness can trigger "I want to stop everything" feelings, and how we can move through these. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, January 18, 2022
64 Third Culture Kids - risk takers
Are we risk takers as TCKs? What is safety to us, and what feels like adventure? Our anxieties and needs may confuse those around us who already see us as adventurers... but what does your story have to say about it? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, January 11, 2022
63 Change without Self Blame
Something I notice in my work is how often we can land in a place of frustration just as we feel the strength and goodness of our growth journey... we feel frustrated at ourselves for not making these changes sooner. This frustration can be disheartening, so what can we do about it? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, January 04, 2022
62 Inner Child work and the TCK
In this episode, Rachel reflects on how our relationship with our inner child is impacted by our cultural experiences of childhood. How can we recognise inner child when they show up, and how can we work WITH them to meet their needs, rather than against them? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, November 30, 2021
61 Fear of being tired...
What can be so scary about feeling tired? Echoes of past physical limitations can be one reason, as can fear of not being enough... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, November 23, 2021
60 Uncomfortable feelings of Joy...
Uncomfortable feelings - Joy! What is it about feeling happy that can feel scary or uncomfortable? Turns out a lot of Third Culture Kids have ambivalent feelings about joy, and Rachel unpacks this in today's episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, November 16, 2021
59 High Vigilent Independence
What is it about independence that makes us feel safe? Given that so many of us avoid being 'needy' (or dependent), is there an alternative? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, November 09, 2021
58 Parenting non-TCKs (and how this intersects with interactions with non-TCK adults!)
A fair amount has been discussed about raising TCKs but what about being a TCK and raising a non-TCK child? Rachel explores the particular challenges this can involve and how responding to these challenges can illuminate ways of being with other non-TCKs too! As ever, knowing your own story is key... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, October 19, 2021
57 Old Scripts that Constrain Us
What messages about yourself and the world are you carrying? Where did they come from? Rachel explores the "scripts" that are handed to us and how these can be constraining. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, October 12, 2021
56 Continuity
What's the deal with continuity? In this episode Rachel ponders what it can offer us in times of change, and why Third Culture Kids can feel ambivalent about it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, August 03, 2021
55 Anxiety - to be avoided?
Continuing with the series 'Uncomfortable Feelings', Rachel explores how we can reframe our relationship with anxiety. Can we accept anxiety as a predictable indicator of growth, or doing something difficult, without loading shame and fear onto ourselves? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, July 27, 2021
54 TCKs as Tourist
Here Rachel explores why it can be hard to feel good about being a 'tourist' but how this can help us re-engage with our passport environments. Can we holiday local, with a sense of delight? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, July 20, 2021
53 Parenting the Young TCKs in our Lives
Parenting/Loving the Young TCKs in our Lives: Why do our stories matter so much when we support and nurture young TCKs? Here I explore what you can offer young TCKs in your life, by better understanding your own TCK experience. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, July 13, 2021
52 Decluttering or the Importance of 'Stuff'
This started off about decluttering and then a conversation about why I don't want to! Why does 'stuff' matter so much to me... to you? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, July 06, 2021
51 Sadness
Why does sadness make us uncomfortable? What have we been taught about this feeling? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, June 29, 2021
50 Holidays and Everyday Life
It's coming up to holiday season! What we look for in a holiday can give us some great hints about what we need in our everyday lives... what do you favourite holidays tell you about your needs? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, June 22, 2021
49 Parenting as TCKs
Let's explore how our experiences with the children in our lives are impacted by our own TCK stories... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, June 15, 2021
48 Relative Wealth
What does money have to do with our TCK experiences? Quite a lot, I think... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, June 08, 2021
47 Moving Home - Choosing
This is the beginning of a short series that walks through Rachel's latest transition - home buying! The kind of commitment home ownership entails throws up some great questions for TCKs - this week about how we make decisions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, June 01, 2021
46 Anger
This week is the first of a series I'm starting on Uncomfortable Feelings and we are kicking off with Anger! Let's explore our experiences so far with anger and how we respond to anger in others. And then what healthy anger could do for us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, May 25, 2021
45 Memories, Places and Integration
Places get infused with so many of our experiences that revisiting them can flood us with memories - sometimes painful ones. How can we revisit our past places, encounter our past selves and integrate these to our present? Some ponderings here... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, May 18, 2021
44 Languages - loved and lost
How many of us have loved languages, lost languages or carry shame around fluency? If this is you, you are not alone... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, May 11, 2021
43 Fear of Failure and Identity
Can we fail at being ourselves? It can often feel this way... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, May 04, 2021
42 Small Talk - are we scared of it
Small Talk - are we scared of it? - So much of our talk about small talk is about how much we hate it! Here I wonder what's behind this, and if small talk actually just scares us a little... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, April 27, 2021
41 Meaning and Mattering
It's not unusual for us as TCKs to feel pressure to live meaningful enough lives. How can we understand our desire to find purpose, and to integrate this into our daily experience? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, April 20, 2021
40 Boundaries
Big scary word designed to push everyone away? Or invitation to closer, more sustainable relationships? This episode explores why so many of us TCKs find boundaries so challenging. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, April 13, 2021
39 How are you?
Personal growth can get intense... so just wanted to check in, how are you? Have you done anything good for yourself today? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, April 06, 2021
38 Decisions, decisions
Find decision-making hard? You aren't the only TCK who does... Listen to hear more about how this can show up in my client work, and where I think it comes from. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, March 30, 2021
37 Blooming where we are planted
"Bloom where we are planted" - What do we need to bloom? Here Rachel explores what time in her yard reminds her about the role of hope in growth, and how we can provide the conditions for that growth. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, March 23, 2021
36 Transitions
In this podcast, Rachel explores the role of self compassion in transition, and how a better understanding of our needs can help us create supportive habits for ourselves, even in moments of transition. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, March 16, 2021
35 Playing with Images to understand the story of Self
Rachel explores a technique of exploring your Self through images - how has your story of self changed through time - past, present and future? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, March 02, 2021
34 Limiting Beliefs
Limiting Beliefs - Limiting beliefs are something we are increasingly aware of and in this episode Rachel looks at what the impact of these can be on Third Culture Kids especially... and how we can shift them. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, February 23, 2021
33 In Conversation Masterclass - expat author Jo Parfitt with Life Story Therapist Dr Rachel Cason
Join me as I was interviewed by expat author, publisher and mentor Jo Parfitt, as part of her In Conversation Masterclass series of virtual events. Do you know your story? Understanding your own story is key to writing great memoir – and in this In Conversation writing Masterclass Jo gains a therapist's perspective on writing. Jo wanted to explore how writers can start to 'own their story' – and why it matters. Thank you Jo for the opportunity to do this! Audio used with permission of Jo Parfitt: https://www.joparfitt.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, February 16, 2021
32 Life Audits & Hierarchies of Needs
What does a life audit look like? What kind of questions can we ask ourselves? In this episode, Rachel explores how taking stock of the shape of life can refocus us as author again, not just editor, of our life story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, January 19, 2021
31: Watch this space!
This episode signals a bit of a pause in podcasting while Rachel prioritizes client time at the moment - but she will be back so stay subscribed and get in touch about what topics you'd like to hear more of in the future! Thank you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, January 12, 2021
30: Cleanse and Declutter
Are your decorations down yet? A lot of people use this time of year to rearrange and deep clean their homes... Third Culture Kids can have an interesting relationship with (re)organising their spaces, and in this episode we consider how doing so can be an exercise in identity. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, January 05, 2021
29: Setting Goals & Celebration
This time of year is full of trying to set new goals and targets for the new year, but this year, what if we stop short of trying to improve ourselves for once, and simply celebrate who we've been so far? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, December 29, 2020
28: A new year's meditation - walking through your house
This time of year invites reflection and this year, perhaps more than most, it can be a bittersweet process. In this podcast Rachel invites you to join her in a meditation that walks through the metaphorical 'house' of your year 2020 and reflect on the state of four rooms there - and what you want different for 2021. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, December 22, 2020
27: Your Christmas Story so Far
How many of us feel disjointed in how we have experienced this season over the years, via different cultures and countries? Take some time to review the story so far to see how you want to write the story this year... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, December 15, 2020
26: Loneliness
This is one of the most painful feelings we can encounter, and one we often want to avoid or deny. But what is loneliness trying to communicate to us? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, December 08, 2020
25: Gift Giving
How do our different cultural experiences impact our feelings about gift giving (and receiving)? If you find it an anxiety provoking element of this season... you are not alone! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, December 01, 2020
24: Divided Loyalties
To whom do we belong? How can we manage the sense of not belonging anywhere properly, and that sense of rejection from places we do feel kinship with? Here Rachel explores how we can soothe our internal hierarchies regarding the parts of ourselves, and use compassion to achieve integration. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, November 24, 2020
23: When people leave
How do you feel when people leave? In this episode I share what I'm going through as friends are moving away, and my process as I deal with this... I hope it's helpful! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, November 17, 2020
22: The Pets of our Stories
How did growing up abroad impact our relationship with animals? And how significant are pets to our stories now? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, November 10, 2020
21: The Photos on my Mantlepiece
As I gaze at the new additions to my own mantlepiece, I reflect on why it's so hard for many of us to put up pictures of the people that matter to us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, November 03, 2020
20: You and Your Body
What is it that makes us flinch so from our own bodies? So many of us have complicated relationships with our bodies, and this is no less so as Third Culture Kids. We carry so many, often conflicting, body expectations that meeting our own gaze in the mirror can be painfully uncomfortable. I don't think it needs to be this way... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, October 27, 2020
19: Autumn and honouring what has been lost
Autumn has been a season that has prompted reflections around loss for many cultures. Here, Rachel reflects on how we can honour loss - through remembrance, harvest, preserving. We can light the darkness of our own grief by naming our losses, and loving the parts of us that loved them. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, October 20, 2020
18: When gratitude feels heavy
In this episode I explore why I avoid gratitude journals and how I lean into joy in the self instead. This can feel so counter-intuitive but I believe it's crucial for those of us who feel guilt or shame about what we "should" feel grateful for. This is especially problematic regarding experiences in our lives that leave us with struggles and challenges. Privileging our experiences of joy can help reclaim gratitude in a way that is lighter and less heavy than when it is used to shut down our more nuanced life experiences. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, October 13, 2020
17: Gender and Identity
Moving between cultures leads us to collect multiple (and at times, conflicting) experiences of our own gender. For every culture we encounter, there are different "right" and "wrong" ways of doing gender and this can complicate our experiences of identity. But complication becomes enrichment when we can map these out and make sense of where we have learnt our own sense of gender identity. And when we make sense of ourselves, then we have power over our self expression and sense of belonging. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, October 06, 2020
16: Thoughts on grumpiness and trying to be OK
I'm talking to you on a grumpy-no good-terrible day. And by taking a moment to understand why I'm feeling so rubbish, I can make more sense of my story. We so often stick with ways of measuring our okayness that worked when we were younger - for me this was achievement and lists. But what happens when what counts as achievement changes as often as the countries in which we live? How do we achieve okayness then? And get rid of the grump? Join me as I ponder my own way through... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, September 29, 2020
15: Sameness and Change
Do you find yourself confused by your reactions to change or to stability/sameness? Let's assume you make sense, and explore together where these responses might have come from in your story, and what we can do to soothe our reactions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, September 22, 2020
14: Four things we need to hear - Yes it can get better
Over the course of her therapeutic work, Rachel has heard the call of the human heart for four distinct assurances - you aren't broken, you aren't, alone, all of you is acceptable and yes it can get better. Here she explores why they matter so much to us, and the difference they can make. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, September 15, 2020
13: Home - Building a home in yourself
Over a four part series, Rachel walks through different elements of home-building: Home as an intimate and representative space Home as friendships Home as place Home as the self Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, September 11, 2020
12: Introducing my new Settledness Course!
Come together with a group of 6 to 8 other Third Culture Kids over four weeks to explore the many homes of our stories, nesting, and feeling at home both locally and globally... and much more! Let me know you want to join by emailing me at rachelcason@explorelifestory.com and I'll get in touch to set up a free 20 minute meeting with you via Zoom to talk through your hopes for the course and preferences around times and days etc. I'm excited, and I hope you are too! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, September 08, 2020
11: Four things we need to hear - All of you is acceptable
Over the course of her therapeutic work, Rachel has heard the call of the human heart for four distinct assurances - you aren't broken, you aren't, alone, all of you is acceptable and yes it can get better. Here she explores why they matter so much to us, and the difference they can make. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, September 01, 2020
10: Home - How to feel at home where you live
Over a four part series, Rachel walks through different elements of home-building: Home as an intimate and representative space Home as friendships Home as place Home as the self Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, August 25, 2020
9: Four things we need to hear - You aren't alone
Over the course of her therapeutic work, Rachel has heard the call of the human heart for four distinct assurances - you aren't broken, you aren't, alone, all of you is acceptable and yes it can get better. Here she explores why they matter so much to us, and the difference they can make. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, August 18, 2020
8: Home - How can I feel more at home in my friendships?
Over a four part series, Rachel walks through different elements of home-building: Home as an intimate and representative space Home as friendships Home as place Home as the self Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, August 11, 2020
7: Four things we need to hear - You aren't broken
Over the course of her therapeutic work, Rachel has heard the call of the human heart for four distinct assurances - you aren't broken, you aren't alone, all of you is acceptable and yes it can get better. Here she explores why they matter so much to us, and the difference they can make. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, August 04, 2020
6: Home - What does your home say about your life?
Over a four part series, Rachel walks through different elements of home-building: Home as an intimate and representative space Home as friendships Home as place Home as the self Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, July 28, 2020
5: Stories (Part 4)
This series concludes by considering how we feel about our next chapters. Have we encountered plot twists? We can benefit from taking the time to consider our own authorship of our own stories, and where we want our next chapters to lead. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, July 21, 2020
4: Stories (Part 3)
It’s one thing to know our own story, to know ourselves, and to feel effective in how we communication our stories to other people. When does our behaviour seems to contradict the story we are telling others about ourselves? How do we feel when our narrative is challenged? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, July 14, 2020
3: Stories (Part 2)
This episode explores the characters we have admired in other people’s stories, and the characters we feel we have played out in our own stories. How do we feel about our characters, how others see and understand us? What roles or goals do we want for our characters in our story as it continues to unfold? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, July 07, 2020
2: Stories (Part 1)
In this podcast, Rachel explores how we tell our stories – to ourselves and to others. What were your favourite stories as a child, and what do they tell you about your needs and view of the world at that time? The different ways our stories get told for us, the family narratives that script out our characters for us, or the way we partition up the chapters of our stories, impact our view of ourselves today. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mon, July 06, 2020
1: How to love yourself
In this episode, Rachel explores the way in which we can use Gary Chapman’s ideas around “Love Languages” to effectively offer love to ourselves. How can we extend love to ourselves in a way we can hear it? Sometimes the traditional ideas around self-care (bubble baths and quiet reading) is just not what we are drawn to – so here Rachel explores how we need to explore elements of all five love languages to able to properly keep ourselves ‘topped up’ and feeling good. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sun, July 05, 2020
Welcome to Explore Your Story
Rachel is, amongst many other things, a Third Culture Kid therapist specialising in Life Story Analysis and Accompaniment, an approach she developed from her Sociological doctorial research into TCK identity, belonging and relationship to place. This podcast is a place she comes to contribute her ponderings on personal growth, working with pain, and the transformative change that comes from a better understanding of our own stories. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
loading...