Recovery Elevator
It isn't a NO to alcohol, but a YES to a better life! Best selling author Paul Churchill, along with Kristopher Oyen interview people who have stepped away from alcohol in their own lives. Each week this podcast does a deep dive into an exploration of what a booze free life might look like from various perspectives and opinions. If you are sick and tired of alcohol making you sick and tired, we invite you to listen to Recovery Elevator. Check out what an alcohol free life can look like as others share their own stories of sobriety. If you ar...
Mon, April 28, 2025
RE 532: Mental Healing Year One AF
Today we have Adam. He is 34 years old from Denver, CO and took his last drink on May 19th, 2022. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE – the social app for sober people [02:41] Thoughts from Paul: Today Paul presents the second of a three-part series where he covers the healing one may expect in the first year away from alcohol. This week he covers the mental component of healing and what can generally be expected over the course of the first year away from alcohol. In the beginning, don’t expect much but the brain fog will begin to lift by the end of the first week. Emotions will start to show up and you should embrace them. Seeing mood swings is completely normal but they will begin to improve over the next few months Over the first year there are a lot of improvements to our awareness, our emotional regulation and our dopamine system. Paul shares many more examples, but this is a short version of a longer list, and the mental healing goes on for years. Perhaps the biggest shift mentally is how you now feel about yourself now that you’ve made such a positive change by ditching the booze. [11:45] Paul introduces Adam: Adam was born and raised in Denver, CO. He and his fiancé are getting married in August this year. Adams works in the government affairs lobbying space in Colorado. For fun he loves skiing, hiking, reading and recovery work. After his first drink at age 14, Adam knew he wanted to do more of it. He says he was a fearful kid and as he grew older his fears became more tangible, and he never felt prepared to deal with them. A lack of confidence and feelings of not adapting like others found him seeking comfort in alcohol and other drugs. In the transition between high school and college, Adam shares that his substance use increased because it was more accessible. Stressed out while studying abroad in Rome found him developing a nightly drinking habit to cope. <p class="M
Mon, April 21, 2025
RE 531: Physical Healing Year One AF
Today we have Maggie. She is 42 years old, from Switzerland, and she took her last drink on February 24th, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE – the social app for sober people Registration for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman is now open. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more. In October of this year, we are going to Peru ! There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. [02:43] Thoughts from Paul: A question Paul hears and sees frequently is what to expect when we put the bottle down. He shares that the destruction of alcohol happens in three steps. First the spiritual component, then mental and finally physical. Healing tends to happen in the reverse order. There will be overlap and the transition is not quite linear, nor does the healing ever stop. Paul expands on what to expect when healing begins and how it can look for our bodies and minds in the first week, month, six months to a year. [12:06] Paul introduces Maggie: Maggie is from Switzerland but lives in Hong Kong with her husband Chris and their four dogs. They enjoy spending time on the beach, stand up paddling and triathlons. Professionally, Maggie was the head of IT in investment banking but has recently changed careers and now is an options equity trader. Maggie says she had her first drink when she was 13 and instantly felt relief from her anxiety. During her teen years, she says she and her friends spent a lot of time going out to bars and she discovered clubbing and cocaine when she was 18. Maggie did well in school and started working with hedge funds after graduating. She says the workdays ended at
Mon, April 14, 2025
RE 530: The Keys to Your Dream Car
Today we have Kaylee. She’s 33 years old from Camp Hill, PA and took her last drink on December 24th, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link – learn more and save 50% off of a device Registration for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman is now open. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more. [03:38] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares a comment that he heard recently in a Café RE chat. Stephanie said she eventually called the fight with alcohol. It is another way to frame the moment where we surrender to what is when it comes to our drinking. We know moderation isn’t working, anxiety is getting worse and the shame and torture from alcohol is reaching unprecedented levels. It becomes time to throw in the towel. He also shares a line from an upcoming interviewee who stated, “sobriety has given me the keys to the car of my dreams, I just hate the color”. So, the universe will always align with our hopes, our dreams, and desires, but we may want the package to look different. It is all about accepting the journey that life places in front of you. [07:08] Paul introduces Kaylee: Kaylee is 33 and lives in Camp Hill, PA. She has two daughters aged 15 and six. She is still trying to figure out what she likes to do for fun, but enjoys movies, concerts and spending time with her daughters. Kaylee says she was a sensitive kid. She struggled with depression and self-harm when she was very young and was always searching for a remedy her feelings. Kaylee drank experimentally by sporadically sneaking alcohol out of her mom’s cabinet. When she was 15, she was assaulted and learned early on that using alcohol could help numb her pain. Kaylee says that any time her emotions were strong, sh
Mon, April 07, 2025
RE 529: It Doesn't Matter What You Have
Today we have Jenny. She is 38 years old from Hudson, WI and she took her last drink on February 16, 2020. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Recovery Elevator has a nonprofit called Café RE which is our alcohol-free community. For all of our happenings and what we offer, click on Recovery Elevator Events . [02:35] Thoughts from Paul: It doesn’t really matter what word or label we attach to our relationship with alcohol. It doesn’t matter what we call it; we still need to do something about it. Paul says that his own pursuits of solving the “why” behind his drinking and how his addiction took hold has been a revealing journey of self-discovery even he won’t be able to pin down exactly why he crashed and burned so hard. When we relentlessly scour the past for reasons why we drink, we take our energies away from the only moment where true healing and peace reside, which is this very moment right now. Addiction does everything it can to pull us from the present moment. Ruminating on what happened, what you have tends to be fruitless. Befriend and make peace the part of you that seeks oblivion and self-destruction. An addiction path may be what our souls choose in hopes of teaching us what really matters in life. [09:03] Paul introduces Jenny: Jenny is a previous guest and was featured in Episode 417 back in 2023 after celebrating three years alcohol-free. Jenny is married and they have a seven-year-old son. She enjoys exercise, adventure and being outside. She does professional development for the construction industry. Jenny drinking when she was 11 years old with the goal of being a rebel. She says she had a goal of being a tough, naughty girl and says it let her down the road to 22 years of binging and going on benders with alcohol and drugs. In h
Mon, March 31, 2025
RE 528: Brevity of a Buzz
Today we have Laura. She is 40 years old from Reno, NV and she had her last drink on August 1st, 2017. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Tomorrow April 1st, registration opens for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman . From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more. [02:58] Thoughts from Paul: On this life journey, what we think is fun or important to us is constantly changing. You have identified that serenity, happiness and peace have become much more important to you than the excitement of drinking. After all, drinking lifts us up for a short while but always lets us down in the end. Peace is knowing we are living our healthiest life and knowing that whatever happens, we’re going to be just fine because we’re not making life harder than it needs to be by drinking. We are aiming to place our bodies and minds in a state where they are properly nourished so then we can be present to fully enjoy and be thankful when the emotion of happiness arrives. We are choosing peace over the brevity of a buzz. We are choosing life. [05:51] Paul introduces Laura: Laura is married, and lives in Reno, Nevada. She is currently transitioning out of working in nonprofit communications to going full time with her own business. She enjoys all things outdoors, lifting weights, and making funny Tik-Toks. The minute Laura started drinking she felt like it was the elixir to confidence and connection. Throughout college and into her 20s, she didn’t think much about her drinking because she was drinking like everyone else around her. Leaving college, Laura didn’t really know what she wanted to do with her life. Looking back now, she recognizes how much drinking disconnects you from yourself. Laura moved to Lake Tahoe and became a snowboard bum. This is where her drinking progressed. Little red flags started to pop up, but she would disregard them and treat her drinking like it was an
Mon, March 24, 2025
RE 527: Alcoholism After the Last Drink?
Today we have Niko. He is 43 years old from San Juan, Puerto Rico and took his last drink on September 2nd, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Café RE Next week registration opens for our flagship retreat in Bozeman which is always a lot of fun. In addition to our lake hangout, breathwork and recovery workshops, we’re also playing laser tag. We also have a few spots left for our alcohol-free trip this October to Peru which includes travel to Cusco, the Sacred Valley and of course, Machu Picchu. If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. With 24/7 access to a like-minded community committed to living alcohol-free, you’ll never feel alone on this journey. [03:25] Thoughts from Paul: Jackass alumni Stevo-O once said he didn’t experience alcoholism until he quit drinking. In 1958 alcoholism was first classified as a disease. How does one experience this disease after they stop drinking? Paul shares his thinking that “if you want to find out why you drink, quit drinking and you’ll find out pretty quickly”. And another thought “it’s not an alcohol problem; it’s a sobriety problem”. When you are addicted to alcohol, withdrawals are a huge problem. But another issues presents itself when we are sober and no longer using alcohol to cope or cheat code for dopamine. Our eyes are wide open to the movie of our lives and there is no way to shut it off. This is why people in recovery attend social circles where people can talk about the baseline state of the human mind, which is restless, irritable and discontent. When we come together, we have a better chance to heal. [07:25] Paul introduces Niko: Niko lives in San Juan, Puerto Rico and is the youngest of three siblings. He enjoys beach tennis, swimming and volleyball, which was something he pl
Mon, March 17, 2025
RE 526: Why It’s So Hard To Quit
Today we have Alyssa. She is 30 years old from Vancouver, WA and took her last drink on September 5th, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link – Next Monday, our five-week course called Ditching the Booze. This is our alcohol-free 101 crash course and is included with Café RE membership. All sessions are live and you’re tuning in with others who are in the same spot as you. The sessions are also recorded in case you can’t attend. On Tuesday, April 1st, registration opens for our flagship retreat in Bozeman which is always a lot of fun. In addition to our lake hangout, breathwork and recovery workshops, we’re also playing laser tag. [03:20] Thoughts from Paul: Today Paul talks about why alcohol can be so hard to quit, why the process of quitting can take years and can contain many stops and starts. Addiction guru Gabor Mate says, “addictions are always a human response to pain, suffering and trauma”. We are constantly in search of homeostasis. When we find something effective at helping us find this relief, it becomes our first technique to use when we are in pain. After drinking long enough, you’ll get to the point where you only feel good, or dopamine will only be created when we are drinking. It takes time after quitting drinking for our body to naturally create dopamine on its own. You will need to learn new routines, create new habits and figure out a way to fill the time that used to be spent drinking. Paul shares with us several other reasons quitting drinking is hard. Why do you think quitting drinking is so hard? Comment on RE’s Instagram page . There’s a post for today’s episode. [09:02] Paul introduces Alyssa: Alyssa lives in Vancouver, WA with her fiancé and two Rotskis. She currently works as a server
Mon, March 10, 2025
RE 525: It’s Already In You
Today we have Lisa. She is from Brisbane, Australia and took her last drink on February 24th, 2022. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. With 24/7 access to a like-minded community committed to living alcohol-free, you’ll never feel alone on this journey. [02:35] Thoughts from Paul: Healing from alcohol addiction is more about restoring the original circuitry we arrived on the planet with, opposed to learning anything new. You already have everything you need to quit drinking. There is nothing wrong with you, we simply need to remove the layers of muck, grime, false stories and incorrect paradigms that we have accumulated over the years of living in a toxic culture. As you clean up your inner mess, you’re also laying the foundation for others to begin their healing process. When you heal, others around you heal. [07:27] Paul introduces Lisa: Lisa is 45 years old and lives in Brisbane, Australia. She runs a residential rehab for women. For fun, Lisa enjoys CrossFit and the community that comes with it. She has a 21-year-old son. Lisa first tried alcohol when she was 17. It was an issue from the first time she picked it up. Once she got the feeling in her system, she just kept going. This continued until she was pregnant with her son who was born when she was 24 years old. When her son was 13 months old, Lisa became a single mom and wanted to find herself again as he started to get older. With her mom helping her with her son, she was able to start going out to meet people and says the only way she knew how to do that was with alcohol involved. Lisa says she thought to be sociable, you had to drink. There were times when Lisa was able to abstain for extended periods while focusing on her son and fitness, but she always went back to it. She found herself using drinks as a reward to get through the weekdays and then would binge drink on the weekends. Th
Mon, March 03, 2025
RE 524: Memories of Alcohol
Today we have Charlie. She is 32 years old from London, UK. She took her last drink on December 28th, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month In October of this year, we are going to Peru ! There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. Registration closes June 2nd which is the deadline for Inca trail tickets. [02:50] Thoughts from Paul: According to NCS solutions, who poll people about their drinking, the number of people who want to cut back on their drinking increases every year. In 2025, 36% more people participated in Dry January than in 2024. A good reason why the numbers are increasing is reflected in a poem Paul shares called Memories of Alcohol by an unknown author. So much of the work we do is reframing how we view alcohol. Subconsciously it is still deeply ingrained in our culture that drinking enhances our lives, but we have all learned that it doesn’t. Once the voice in our head starts telling us that a drink would be nice or we deserve a drink we can start giving it some tough love and tell it that no, a drink would not be nice and please give me some better ideas. [05:09] Paul introduces Charlie: Charlie is a software engineer from London and will be getting married in April. For fun, Charlie has rediscovered that she enjoys skiing, running and swimming. Growing up, Charlie witnessed both parents struggle with divorce and use of alcohol and medications. She started drinking when she was around 14. Charlie says everyone around her drank and seemed to be having a good time, so she joined in without thinking twice. Around her mid-twenties, Charlie started to have a subtle undercurrent of doubt in her mind and a quiet voice suggesting that maybe she wasn’t the best version of herself anymore. Since she never had what others would consider a problem, she didn’t think her drinking was an issue. Charlie began to
Mon, February 24, 2025
RE 523: It’s All Gray Area Drinking
Today we have Robbie. He is 43 and lives in Moses Lake, WA. He took his last drink on August 15th, 2024 Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month 3,649 days ago, or 1 day shy of ten years, the first episode of the Recovery Elevator podcast dropped. Paul remembers the date well because for three months after the first episode released, he kept thinking “oh my God, what have I done?”. Burning the ships in podcast format gave Paul a lot of anxiety, but here we are, 523 weeks later and thank you listeners, for keeping the show alive. 30 Best Sobriety Podcasts [04:13] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares the definition and his thoughts around the term gray area drinking. The definition states that it is the space between end-stage drinking and every now and again drinking. Gray area drinking could also be classified as someone who can stop drinking without medical detox or can stop on their own before someone stages an intervention. Paul believes it’s all gray area drinking. Be it one beer a month or 10 beers a night. One common thread he hears on this podcast is “and then xyz happened”. It’s these major life events that can ramp up the drinking and everyone has life happen to them. [07:10] Paul introduces Robbie: Robbie is 43 years old and lives in Moses Lake, WA. He currently works at a chemical plant in the semiconductor industry. He has five children in the age range of eight months to 14. They enjoy spending time outdoors and at the lake near their home. Robbie is a big sports fan and played sports often while growing up. Robbie took his first drink when he was in college in his 20s. He didn’t drink much until he lost his dad in 2013. Without knowing how to process his grief and having young children, Robbie learned that drinking helped him be numb and he started drinking four or five days a week. At the time, Robbie was working as a corrections officer, which was a very stressful job that contributed to his drinking as well. In 2018 Robbie’s marri
Mon, February 17, 2025
RE 522: Would a Drink Help
Today we have Jeremy. He is 43 years old and lives in Portland, Maine. He took his last drink on January 23rd, 2019. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Recovery Elevator is going back to Peru in October 2025 . On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration has been open for two weeks and we have about five or six spots left. [01:40] Thoughts from Paul: About three weeks ago, we had a gentleman named Nate share his story for one of our dry January sessions. He mentioned that just before he quit drinking, his spouse poured out a bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey onto their lawn. The whiskey killed a circular patch of grass, making it an area where conditions were no longer suitable for growth, and Nate eventually had to replace the entire section of grass. Today's episode is titled "Would a Drink Help?". This phrase is often depicted in movies, TV, and other media after a long day or stressful event. For those of us who find it difficult to have just one, a drink will never help. It’s not the fifth or the 10th drink that gets you into trouble, it’s always the first. Because it leads you to have the fifth or 10th drink which will leave a dead ring of grass inside us. Unlike grass, our brains and bodies can heal from the poison. So, in answer to the question of “would a drink help?” the answer is always no, and it will always leave you in a worse position. We wouldn’t ask this question about any other substance either. It takes time before the neurons in the brain that a drink can help stop firing together so go easy on yourself. [07:11] Paul introduces Jeremy: Jeremy is 43, married with no kids and works in tech consulting. They have an English bulldog and for fun, Jeremy enjoys snowboarding, hiking, and music. He is also a house music DJ and plays multiple instruments. Jeremy first began to recognize that his drinking was an issue for him in his twenties. He bega
Mon, February 10, 2025
RE 521: The Drunkest Place in America
Today we have Dave. He is 69 years old from Beaver Creek, CO. He took his last drink in September 17th, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Sober Link - receive $50 off of a device If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. Come join the party! Tonight begins our first ever AF Songwriting Course starting at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills. [02:40] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares an article from the San Francisco Chronicle regarding the tanking sales of red wine in San Francisco restaurants. All alcohol sales were down but mocktail sales were up. Many people share that it’s tough to quit drinking where they live. Paul discovered a statistic from the CDC that says where he lives in Gallatin County, Montana is listed as the drunkest of all 3,244 counties in America. In the state of Montana, they place a white cross on the road where traffic fatalities occur in hopes of reminding drivers to take caution and slow down. 66% of these white crosses are alcohol related. There is no judgement towards those that are still binge drinking. At Recovery Elevator, we are not better than anyone, we have just chosen a different path. If you feel called to walk this pathway with us, we’d love to have you. [10:01] Paul introduces Dave: Dave lives in Beaver Creek, CO with his dog Tango. He is very active in the AA community in his area and cherishes the connections he has made there. He enjoys skiing, biking, and traveling. He has three kids and recently b
Mon, February 03, 2025
RE 520: The Next Party Begins
Today we have Kathy. She is 57 years old from Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on October 21st, 2024. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month Registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens today, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we’re doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills. [02:43] Thoughts from Paul: At the end of last week's episode, I discussed how certain chapters in our lives might be closing, particularly those involving drinking and all the associated antics. As Yung Pueblo poetically expressed, endings are a natural part of life. The universe thrives on cycles, where every beginning anticipates an eventual end. Embrace this closure, grieve it, if necessary, write a farewell letter and consign it to the flames if it helps. But remember, alongside the end of the partying comes the end of hangovers, bloating, puffy eyes, heartburn, and a myriad of other unpleasant side effects. Let yourself mourn the end of this chapter. For me, the cessation of drinking heralded a new beginning in September 2014. Let's explore what awaits after setting the bottle aside—a life free from elevated liver enzymes. Five months ago, I asked our Instagram followers to describe sobriety in three words. The prevailing themes were peace, energy, and presence. I can't predict your future, but I can assure you that whatever it holds, you'll face it with more vitality, tranquility, and mindfulness. This journey is far from solitary, as more Americans are reducing their alcohol intake. So, as one party ends, another begins, brimming with the promise of a healthier, more vibrant life. [06:09] Paul introduces Kathy: Kathy is 57 years old, i
Mon, January 27, 2025
RE 519: Oh My
Today we have Nick. He is 41 and lives in Richfield, MN. He took his last drink on November 8th, 2023. In one week, registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we’re doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off of your first month [03:19] Thoughts from Paul: Imagine if aliens were cruising the universe and made a stop on planet Earth and they saw human beings drinking a substance that appeared to be damaging their lives. But first, this is revealing of the power of the unconscious mind, or the paradigms in our society. If you take crack, cocaine, heroin and meth and right off the bat it’s like, yeah, that will fuck your life up. But with alcohol, which has the data to show it’s the most dangerous drug on the planet, it’s flipped. Thankfully the correct messaging is starting to come out, but we have a way to go still. Paul shares what he imagines would be the conversation between aliens and humans as they begin to ask questions about why we humans are consuming a toxic substance that has no health benefits and leaves them incapacitated the next morning. [08:24] Paul introduces Nick: Nick is married with three young children. He says he is a pop culture aficionado. He enjoys hunting, fishing, camping and spending time at their cabin a few hours away. Nick is big into fitness as well. Being around alcohol was a normal thing for Nick growing up. He drank some in high school but hit the ground running in college with all the typical vices. He says he never had any major consequences and did well in school. The “work hard, play hard” mentality r
Mon, January 20, 2025
RE 518: Your Idea of Good Evolves
Episode 518 – Your Idea of Good Evolves Today we have Ashley. She’s 25 years old from Spokane, WA and took her last drink on September 22nd, 2024. Sponsor for this episode: Better Help – 10% off your first month This February, we are doing our first ever alcohol-free singer-songwriter course . In this six-week course you’re going to connect with other sober musicians. You’re going to improve your songwriting skills and hear from professional musicians. We will all write our own songs which we will share in the last week. Registration is open for Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica. [03:17] Thoughts from Paul: Quoting Yung Pueblo, “Maturity is knowing that endings are a part of life. Jobs change, who you hang out with changes. Your idea of what is ‘good’ evolves. An ending is a sign that you’re opening a new chapter.” There’s a saying in this space that we stop maturing when our drinking becomes problematic. When alcohol begins to take over every aspect in our lives, our maturation is halted. Our idea of what is good evolves, but it doesn’t evolve when we keep labeling booze as a good time. Start using your brain to build your alcohol-free life in your mind. Eventually the universe will line up to make this happen, in fact, it’s already happening. Think about the podcast you are listening to and how you got here. You’re probably way further down this journey than you think. [07:30] Paul introduces Ashley: Ashley lives in Spokane, WA and works for a cleaning business. She enjoys crafting and journaling. Right now she is working on a scrapbook that looks like a Vision Board for 2025. Ashley says she didn’t really drink until college. When COVID shut everything down in 2020, Ashley was a junior in college and had just turned 21. She was living alone in a studio apartment and got to drink the way that she wanted to drink. When she noticed her drinking ramp up, she started to cut it back a bit. After the shutdown was lifted, Ashley started bartending and didn’t want to drink much on the job. That shifted a bit when she changed jobs and wa
Mon, January 13, 2025
RE 517: Protect Your Sobriety Like a Child
Episode 517 – Protect Your Sobriety Like it’s Your Kid Today we have Cindy. She is 36 years old, lives in Los Angeles, CA and took her last drink on December 31st, 2023. Sponsor for this episode: Better Help – 10% off your first month Café RE is THE social app for sober people. If you are struggling to meet people who no longer drink alcohol, then this community app is for you. Yes, it is mostly online, but we’ve got a bunch of in-person meetups on the calendar. This February, we are doing our first ever alcohol-free singer-songwriter course . In this six-week course you’re going to connect with other sober musicians. You’re going to improve your songwriting skills and hear from professional musicians. We will all write our own songs which we will share in the last week. [03:11 Thoughts from Paul: A member of Café RE shared that their therapist told them to protect their own sobriety like it was one of their own children, especially in the delicate stages at the beginning. Everything good that comes your way in life will be anchored to your sobriety. This seed, that perhaps today is tender, raw and vulnerable, can grow up to provide shade for others. This seed that you are nurturing will provide life, care and love to others in the very near future. This may seem like a lot of pressure, but here’s the cool thing: we are not worried about watering the seed tomorrow, we’re taking it one day at a time. That’s it. Listeners, thank you for being here, together we are infinitely stronger. [06:40] Paul introduces Cindy: Cindy is 36 years old and lives outside the city of LA. She works in a hospital and has been with her husband for 13 years. They have a cat named Murphy. Cindy recalls her first real experience with alcohol was when she was 14 or 15. Her friend knew someone who was visiting, and they had a hotel room. While there she drank a whole glass of vodka straight because she didn’t know how to drink. The night was a disaster, Cindy says. From that point on Cindy says she never had an off switch. After high school Cindy started working and taking classes at a community college. She discovered the party scene, had
Mon, January 06, 2025
RE 516: The Source of Pain
Episode 516 – The Source of Pain Today we have Hattie. She is 34 years old from South London, UK, and she took her last drink on April 25th, 2021. Sponsors for this episode include: Better Help – 10% off your first month Sober Link - get a promo code for $50 off of the device. Registration is open for Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica. We’ve got space for 12 guys. Café RE is THE social app for sober people. If you are struggling to meet people who no longer drink alcohol, then this community app is for you. Yes, it is mostly online, but we’ve got a bunch of in-person meetups on the calendar. [03:57] Thoughts from Paul: Ask the Magic 8 Ball “is alcohol the primary source of my pain?” and the responses will be “it is certain” “it is decidedly so” “without a doubt” and “yes, definitely”. Of course, alcohol is causing the pain. It’s the most destructive and addictive substance on the planet and for some strange reason it’s still in our face daily with advertising everywhere. You want to start viewing alcohol similarly to how you would look at a moldy, half-eaten hoagie sandwich on a park bench: you wouldn’t touch that sandwich, let alone eat it. The tricky part is that our addiction lies to us in our own voice and do it’s best to convince you that alcohol is the source of relief rather than pain. Which it can be at first, but inevitably that doesn’t last long. But your life is not over when you quit drinking. A better chapter is just beginning. [09:24] Paul introduces Hattie: Hattie grew up in a place called New Forest where there are wild ponies and pigs. She now lives in London with her husband and two young children. Hattie works in sustainability and also has set up Sober Happy Free on Instagram and TikTok sharing her story around sobriety. Hattie says she took her first drink at 14. Her alcohol seeking behavior began quickly thereafter. She says alcohol helped her with confidence and feeling comfortable with herself. Drinking was mor
Mon, December 30, 2024
RE 515: The Joys of Detox
Episode 515 – The Joys of Detox Today we have Patrick. He’s 43 years old from Montreal, Quebec and took his last drink on November 11th, 2024. Join Recovery Elevator for our Restore Dry January course. This is our most intensive course, and it’s all about accountability. This is the best setup we’ve had yet for this course as participants get access to all of Café RE, including the chats and the community when they sign up for the course. Recovery Elevator’s first ever Men’s Retreat will be April 5th through the 12th in Costa Rica. We’ve got space for 12 guys. Registration for this event opens December 30th at 8AM EST. AG1 – offering new subscribers a free $76 gift when you sign up [3:58] Thoughts from Paul: **DISCLAIMER** alcohol is the most dangerous substance to detox rom. Listen to your body and seek medical attention if you think you need to. It doesn’t matter what you’re eliminating from your diet, the body does not like change. Studies have shown that when we take that first step forward in making change, the body can and will create chemicals of discomfort to pull you back into your comfort zone. Part of the withdrawal from alcohol is your dopamine center learning how to create it’s own dopamine again, but much of this discomfort is your body rebuking any change whatsoever. Yes, there will be some discomfort but after doing Recovery Elevator for ten years, Paul says that not one person he has met has regretted there decision to quit drinking. It’s a one-way street once you begin to feel and see the benefits. [7:57] Paul introduces Patrick: Patrick is 43 years old and lives in Montreal, Quebec. He works in the administrative field at a hospital, and he enjoys running (5k every day), spending time with his friends and watching TV. Patrick says he was born prematurely and wants to share that Fetal Alcohol Disorder exists. Both of his parents were alcoholics, and he had to parent them early in his life. At the age of 13, Patrick became responsible for his mother’s care when she was diagnosed with <a href= "https://www.
Mon, December 23, 2024
RE 514: A Drinking Problem is Totally Normal
Episode 514 – A Drinking Problem is Totally Normal Today we have Erin. She is 50 years old from Denver, CO and took her last drink on August 21st, 2023. Registration for Dry January is now open. This is our most intensive course, and it’s all about accountability. If you’ve been trying to quit drinking and haven’t found success, it’s most likely you’re not surrounded by the right people or don’t have community. Over 70% of our Restore Dry January participants report making it through January without taking a drink. Café RE is the social app for sober people. We meet over 30 times a month online with our daily chats covering all different topics or specialty chats. If you’re looking for accountability with others who are ditching the booze or have already done so, we’d love to have you. [02:48] Thoughts from Paul: Paul’s opinion is that a drinking problem is a normal response to living in a culture that has completely lost its marbles. Most anthropologists believe that addiction is a modern phenomenon that stems from how we are living as a culture. Eckhart Tolle in his book A New Earth says that what we have labeled as “normal” regarding our culture is actually completely insane. Gabor Mate recently wrote The Myth of Normal about how our culture is toxic and right for addiction. According to Dr. Mate, addiction isn’t a disease but a completely normal response to living in a fucked-up world. Your drinking problem is not your fault. It is a response to a fractured world. You found a solution, a way to cope and it worked for a while. As Laura McKowen says, “it’s not your fault but it is your responsibility”. Listening to a sobriety podcast is part of you taking that responsibility. [08:08] Paul introduces Erin: <p cl
Mon, December 16, 2024
RE 513: 10 Things to do Daily
Episode 513 - 10 Things to do Daily Today we have Forrest. He is 31 years old from Atlanta, GA and took his last drink on March 14th, 2022. Sponsors for this episode: Visit Sober Link to learn more and to get a promo code for $50 off of the device. Registration for Dry January is now open. This course is all about accountability, connection, and having fun. We come together 14 times in the month of January via Zoom, and you’ll also find yourself in smaller breakout rooms where you can connect with others who are ditching the booze. If you enjoy the Recovery Elevator podcast, please help spread the word by leaving a review wherever you listen from. [03:38] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares a list of recommendations of little things to dry and do daily. The best way to make change in your life is with small, intentional steps towards your goal. 1) Water – at least once per day, drink as much water as you can. Dehydration causes a lot of our fatigue later in the day. 2) Meditation – for a few minutes each day, turn your gaze inward. 3) Posture – stand up, pull your shoulders back, arch your back, look to the sky and hold it for 30 seconds. 4) Fuel – make a point to eat one healthy item daily and be conscious about it. 5) Movement – five minutes of light to moderate movement each day. 6) Nothing – literally, do nothing. Start slow with as little as one minute. 7) Play – try new hobbies or rediscover old ones. 8) Learn and grow – read a book or watch a YouTube video about something tha
Mon, December 09, 2024
RE 512: Side Effects of Sobriety
Episode 512 – Side Effects of Sobriety Today we have Tammy. She is 61 years old from San Diego, CA. She took her last drink on September 6th, 2021. Sponsors for this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR for 10% off of your first month Registration for Dry January is now open. When you sign up for Restore, you not only get access to the course, but you also get access to the whole Café RE community. If you sign up in December, you get access to the community for the rest of December and all of January. This is Recovery Elevator most intensive alcohol-free course. We will meet 14 times in January and it’s all about accountability. Free Relapse Prevention Plan [04:26] Thoughts from Paul: Paul recently came across a post from someone who recently quit drinking, and they included a list of things they no longer suffer from. Or this could be said that these are the possible side effects of sobriety. Paul shares the extensive list ranging from the loss of anxiety and depression to improvements to their body – both functions and appearance. Life is hard in the first place, and you layer on just a couple of the ailments listed, then you’re living life in hard mode. That list really drives the point home that alcohol is taking way more than it is giving. Paul is a big fan of pen to paper, pro and con sheets, all that jazz. He suggests writing down for yourself what you’ve experienced when you take some time off booze and imagines it’s going to look similar to the list he just shared. [08:30] Paul introduces Tammy: Tammy is 61 years old and lives near San Diego. She is married and together they have six adult children. She worked in advertising before having children and after they were older, she became a real estate agent. For fun, Tammy started writing a book about her alcohol-free
Mon, December 02, 2024
RE 511: How to Market Alcohol
Episode 511 - How to Market Alcohol Today we have Arlina. She is 55 years old from Boise, ID and took her last drink 30 years ago. Restore – registration opens Monday December 2nd. This is Recovery Elevator’s most intensive AF course for someone looking for extra accountability for Dry January. Recovery Elevator’s first ever AF Songwriting course will be in February 2025. During the six-week course, participants will write, edit and perfect a song that you’ll perform for the cohort in week six. Sponsors for this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR for 10% off of your first month [03:09] Thoughts from Paul: When Dr. David Nut, a British researcher was tasked by the government to put a harm score on 20 of the world’s drugs, it wasn’t crack, heroin, meth or cocaine in the number one spot. It was alcohol. Especially when looking at the economic impact. Paul says that when he becomes president, he would not attempt prohibition, which was an epic fail in the early 20th century. But he would promote education about the effects of alcohol early and often focusing on the fact that NONE is the healthiest amount to drink. Also up to be reformed would be taxes, advertising, labeling and taking responsibility for it’s trash and recovery for those affected by their product. [08:02] Paul introduces Arlina: Arlina has been sober since April of 1994 when she was 25 years old. Arlina was also a guest on Episode 232 five years ago. She grew up in California but now lives in Idaho. Arlina spent time working as an account executive for both large and small companies, but now enjoys crafty things and making soap. She is married and they have two grown sons and an English bulldog. Early childhood was difficult for Arlina. After some traumatic events, the idea that someth
Mon, November 25, 2024
RE 510: To Be Thankful
Episode 510 – Alcohol Policy Today we have Kevin. He is 42 years old, from Fresno, CA and is celebrating 500 days at the time of this recording. Sponsors for this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR for 10% off of your first month AG1 – free gift with your first subscriptions, in addition to their Welcome Kit. Restore – registration opens Monday December 2nd. This is Recovery Elevator’s most intensive AF course for someone looking for extra accountability for Dry January. [03:34] Thoughts from Paul: Happy Thanksgiving Week! Life is not perfect but there is so much to be thankful about. Paul shares that when a sponsor first challenged him to write down five things he was grateful for each day, he could not do it. Nowadays he recognizes so much to be thankful for. This entire week is all about gratitude and giving thanks. This is a tradition in our modern culture that tells us to come together as a family and give thanks. Plus, there’s pumpkin pie. A tip to help you stay sober this Thursday and throughout the week: create accountability, AKA, Burn the Ships. It doesn’t have to be with everyone in your family, but at least somebody who isn’t your dog has to know you won’t be drinking. And don’t forget to bring your own drink of choice to any gathering you attend. [08:32] Paul introduces Kevin: Kevin is 42 and lives in the Fresno area. He owns and operates a commercial landscape business. He is married and has one daughter in college and a son in third grade. For fun, he enjoys nature, reading, CrossFit, playing golf and coaching his son’s sports teams. Kevin says he first drank in high school, and it was the typical weekends and parties, but nothing too dramatic. In college it turned
Mon, November 18, 2024
RE 509: It’s a Sobriety Problem
Episode 509 – It’s a Sobriety Problem Today we have Nicole. She is 46 years old from Fairfax, VA. She took her last drink on May 18th, 2023. If you are seeking community on your alcohol-free journey, Café RE is just the place. We have been off Facebook for over a month, and we love our new home. In addition, we are also a non-profit. We would love to see you there! Restore – registration opens Monday December 2nd. This is Recovery Elevator’s most intensive AF course for someone looking for extra accountability for Dry January. Sponsors for this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR for 10% off of your first month [03:32] Thoughts from Paul: Paul is always saving lines or notes that he would like to use in future podcasts. Today he reads a bunch of those that haven’t quite found a home yet. This includes random stats, some of the consequences of drinking, how alcohol affects us, and that connection is an important component in our lives regardless of addiction status. [09:02] Paul introduces Nicole: Nicole lives in northern Virginia with her partner. They have three cats, one dog and three horses. Nicole and her partner both participate in dressage and eventing. She enjoys running marathons. Nicole says she did not start drinking when she was young. When she was in her late teens she started a 12 year long modeling career. Due to the weight restrictions around her modeling contract, she says she could not afford the calories from alcohol. Her drinking began when she was in grad school in her 30s. She began casually drinking with some friends and was always a little leery of alcohol with an unexplainable concern that she might develop a problem but ignored it. COVID definitely had an impact on her. Around that time, she was also going through a divorce and her father had developed some chronic health issues. Nicole feels she
Mon, November 11, 2024
RE 508: Your Job is to Have Fun
Episode 508 – Your Job is to Have Fun Today we have Fanny. She is 39 years old and lives in Wilmington, NC. She took her last drink on February 3rd, 2021. Recovery Elevator is going back to Peru in October 2025 . On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration opens January 13th and closes May 30th in order to secure tickets to the Inca Trail. Sponsors for this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR for 10% off of your first month Sober Link - $50 off of device using this link [01:43] Intro: Better Rhodes recently sent Paul a couple of drinks to sample, and he shares that they were all fantastic. Gone are the days when O’Doul’s was the only alcohol-free option around. Paul says his favorite was Hiyo. Better Rhodes – code RECOVERYELEVATOR15 [04:05] More thoughts from Paul: Paul shares an article called Benefits of Play for Adults that shares the importance of being playful as adults. Remember that as a child, you were naturally playful without alcohol. Somewhere along the way we forget how to be playful and then we link alcohol with having fun. This is great news for healing. Just like some of us have goals to hit a certain amount of steps in our day, you should aim to have at least a certain amount of laughs. Laughter is the best medicine and some of the side effects may be a boost to your immune system, release of endorphins, reduction of stress and anxiety and improvement of mood. Your job, listeners, is to have fun. The healing
Mon, November 04, 2024
RE 507: Why the First 30 Days Can be Rough
Episode 507 - Why the First 30 Days Can be Rough Today we have Jason. He is 56 years old and from Minneapolis, MN. He took his last drink on December 31st, 2021. Sponsors for this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR for 10% off of your first month [01:06] Intro: In today’s episode you are going to hear Jason say that he doesn’t identify as an alcoholic. How many alcoholics do you think have been interviewed on the podcast? Paul says the answer is zero. Zero because whenever people hear the word alcoholic, the first things that come to mind are homeless, living under a bridge, brown paper bag. Zero guests have fit this description. Studies show that only 5% of alcoholics are actually homeless, living under a bridge, etc. However we are all walking the same path regardless of how far it takes us. It’s never too late to get help, and we’ve got your back. The real villain here is alcohol, not the addict. In 2024, you can be alcohol-free, you can be sober, you can be sober curious, you can be an alcoholic in recovery. At the end of the day it’s all about getting honest with yourself. [04:16] More thoughts from Paul: Drinking can be challenging in the first 30 days. Paul shares with us a piece about this that uses an analogy comparing our brain and neurotransmitters to toy boxes and toys. During recovery, our brain is resetting itelf now that the alcohol is halted. This will take time. A couple of week to a couple of months. Go slow, be kind to yourself and let the body heal. Your part is not drinking, and the universe solves the other part which is time. [07:36] Paul introduces Jason: Jason has lived in Minnesota all of his lfe, currently in Minneapolis. He is married with two sons, 14 and 12. He works in sales. Jason says for fun, he is getting into golf and he is a pilot who enjoys flying for fun as well as for business. Jason says he had his first drink as a juni
Mon, October 28, 2024
RE 506: Drink Yourself Sober
Episode 506 – Drink Yourself Sober Today we have James. He is 33 years old from Birmingham, UK and he took his last drink in May 30th, 2023. Café RE is now off of Facebook and we have our own app. If you’re looking for accountability with others who are ditching the booze or have already done so, we’d love to have you. Sobertopia – a platform for all things Alcohol-Free Drop the Bottle Sponsors for this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR AG1 [03:57] Thoughts from Paul: Today’s guest James said something that sparked a dormant memory for Paul, which was to drink yourself sober. Paul shares how in the summer of 2014, he knew he was quitting drinking, it was just a matter of time. He was reading quit lit and the alcohol was no longer working for him. Trying to expedite the quitting, Paul drank with the intent to give himself more reasons to quit. Even though he does not recommend anyone do this he shares this as a reminder that paid that we listen to, embrace, and no longer run from can be one of the best teachers. It can shine light on where not to go. And pain is also the crack where the light of healing enters. As Paul has mentioned in a recent episode – it takes what it takes, and he had to embrace the pain and even purposely step into it more in order to start the healing. [08:52] Paul introduces James: James is 33 years old; he works in administration at a university. He is a musician in a few bands and has been doing a lot of touring. He also enjoys reading, walking with his partner and spending time with his cats.</
Mon, October 21, 2024
RE 505: What is Recovery?
Episode 505 – What is Recovery? Today we have Dave. He is 46 and lives in Boston. He took his last drink on March 5th, 2023. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR There are two spots left on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam . This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we’re heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers. On January 1st, 2025, join us for Dry January . We meet 14 times as a group during the moth and the session days are Sundays, Mondays and Thursdays. And in February, we are doing out first ever alcohol-free Singer/Songwriter course. In this six week course you’ll learn all about the song writing process, hear from professional musicians about how they write songs, and you’ll write and perfect your own song during the course. Experience with an instrument is recommended to required as this is not a “how to play and instrument” course. [03:32] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares that when he first began his alcohol-free journey, the word “recovery” was loaded for him. He initially didn’t want anything to do with it and didn’t really understand what it meant. In a post from Café RE a member named Adam shared a little about what recovery means to him. Paul expands on that commenting about what recovery means to him as well. Russell Brand sums it up pretty well by saying we are “recovering the person we are meant to be.” We have no chance of doing this with alcohol in our lives, or at least, many of us don’t. There is no right or wrong way to ditch the booze and take what you want and leave the rest. Paul says he isn’t suggesting building your own program from scratch at the beginning. Pick a program or community and give it your all. If there is something that scares you, that’s where you need to go. Recovery is uncomfortable at first, but definite
Mon, October 14, 2024
RE 504: A Dopamine Feast
Episode 504 – A Dopamine Feast Today we have Don. He is 44 and lives in Clarkson, MI. He took his last drink on November 15th, 2021. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole . What does that mean? It means, that in this moment, the only moment that has ever mattered or ever existed, I choose to be here, and I will view myself as whole. Please don’t kick the can of wholeness, authenticity and self-love down the road. It has to be now. [04:22] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares that he really enjoyed the book Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke, minus one part of it that talks about a dopamine fast as a way to beat an addiction. A recent NYT article summarizes why Paul doesn’t like the dopamine fast idea. It has to do with the quote that “it’s less about quitting drinking, and more about creating a life that doesn’t require alcohol”. There are many healthier ways to release dopamine, such as hobbies you enjoy, that don’t involve your drug of choice. Trying new things helps us release dopamine as well. The last paragraph of the article says “consequently, America’s problem isn’t that we’re a bunch of hedonists hooked on capitalism’s dopamine hits, it’s that so many of us aren’t able to get our social, physical and emotional needs met in healthy ways. Instead of a dopamine fast, we need a dopamine feast - one that makes us want experiences we actually like, rather than compulsively responding to craving”. [08:36] Paul introduces Don: Don is an anesthesiologist, and he lives in Clarkston, MI. He started enjoying traveling since his mid-30s and has been to 30 countries, five continents and heading to Antarctica at the end of the year. Don is a big fan of sports and roots for the teams out of Detroit. <p class="MsoNorm
Mon, October 07, 2024
RE 503: It Takes What It Takes
Episode 503 – It Takes What It Takes Today we have Leah from Akron, OH. She took her last drink on September 4th, 2022. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR Tonight is our first session of our Ditching the Booze Mindfulness course. It will be on Monday nights at 7:30 EST for the next five weeks. This course will teach you the basics of mindfulness and mediation. It is included with Café RE membership. Visit Café RE to sign up if you aren’t already a member. Speaking of Café RE, our community is no longer on Facebook. We have found a new home that is off social media, and it now has an app that you can find in the app stores. [03:28] Thoughts from Paul: The only thing harder than forgiveness is the opposite – resentments. It is important that we begin with forgiving ourselves. It takes what it takes for you to get sober and quit drinking. There is no set pathway into and out of a drinking problem. Paul believes this is one of the reasons why alcohol-free communities are so non-judgmental, loving and accepting. Those who have quit drinking know that it takes what it takes. Paul shares some “it takes what it takes” stories from himself and others working on their alcohol-free journey. Never quit quitting and you will find your way. It takes what it takes. [08:20] Paul introduces Leah: At the time of recording, Leah is celebrating 2 years alcohol-free. She grew up in Akron Ohio, she is 36 and just got married, they have a 3-month-old daughter. For fun Leah enjoys hiking, singing, hanging out with friends and spending time with her baby. Leah shares the story of what drove her to make the decision to quit drinking. After waking up on a bench next to a river and realizing that she was barefoot and had walked over a mile in a blackout, she feared what might happen next if she continued to drink. Leah began drinking in high school
Mon, September 30, 2024
RE 502: The Tallest Tree in the World
Episode 502 – The Tallest Tree in the World Today we have Kurtis. He is 32 from Seattle, WA and took his last drink on October 12th, 2023. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR AG1 Paul loves pickles but doesn’t love to be in them. When it comes to drinking, this quote shows up often: “When I controlled my drinking, I didn’t enjoy it. When I enjoyed my drinking, I couldn’t control it.” That is a good example of what it is like to be in a pickle with your drinking. DTB Mindfulness course starts Monday October 7th for 5 weeks. This course is for Café RE members only, and we would love for you to join us! Visit Café RE to sign up if you aren’t already a member. [03:32] Thoughts from Paul: While the tallest tree on the planet currently is a redwood but it would be the Douglas Fir if we stopped cutting them down. Scientists theorize the highest a tree can pull water up it’s roots is 480 feet and that’s how big the Douglas Fir trees were back in the early 1800’s before we began harvesting them. Paul shares with us his love of trees and how they have helped him on his recovery journey. He also shares some facts about how indigenous people around the world are healthier than we are and how many of them use trees as a source of wholeness that cure physical ailments and mental health conditions. When looking for connection, don’t overlook the trees in your back yard that are holding the soil in place. Nature should 100% be part of your recovery portfolio. [10:07] Paul introduces Kurtis: Kurtis currently lives in Seattle, WA and is originally from Detroit. He has two cats and is a musician and a mixing engineer. He says he used to use drinking as a way to be creative and says it has been interesting to figure out his relationship with music without drinking. Kurtis says he didn’t
Mon, September 23, 2024
RE 501: The Camaraderie of Sobriety
Episode 501 – The Camaraderie of Sobriety Today we have Kendra. She is 36 years old from Alexandria, MN and took her last drink on March 22nd, 2024. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR There are 4 million podcasts on iTunes with tens of millions of episodes. Do you want to know what the #1 downloaded episode was, for two years straight? Is was an episode titled - What Alcohol Does to your Body, Brain and Health, by the Stanford Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman. All new registrations for Café RE will be added to our community, which is no longer on Facebook. We have found a place that allows us to make these connections better. Beginning October 1st, all current members will start shifting over there as well. The theme for this podcast is I am Here, I am Whole . These lyrics mean that yes, we can fix, we can make changes, but while listening to this podcast, reinforce the fact that you are not broken. We are all perfectly imperfect, but in this moment, we are all here and we are all whole. [06:15] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares a story about a recent situation involving his goat Hot Dog and some wiring on his truck. After attempting and failing to fix the issue himself, Paul took his truck to the shop where he purchased the truck topper. After several hours of troubleshooting and referencing the vehicle’s owner manual, they found a fuse had blown. This was five weeks after the incident. What Paul didn’t know was that his taillights had been out as well. The man said that Paul was lucky the cops didn’t pull him over for a DUI. Paul quickly shared that he had quit drinking to which the man replied that he had as well. The conversation continued for a bit about their mutual sobriety. One thing Paul has recognized in recovery is that the many teams, committees and organizations he has being involved with
Mon, September 16, 2024
RE 500: I am Here, I am Whole
Episode 500 – I Am Here, I Am Whole Today we have Brady. He is 43 years old from Denver, CO and took his last drink on July 18th, 2023. Whatever day you are on, we want to hear it, see it and support you. On Sundays, head on over to RE on Instagram and post on our Roll Call. Let the world know where you are at. There are still a few spots open on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam . This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we’re heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers. Starting Monday September 16th, all new registration for Café RE will be added to our community, which is no longer on Facebook. We have found a place that allows us to make these connections better. Beginning October 1st, all current members will start shifting over there as well. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR [03:57] Thoughts from Paul: For 500 straight Mondays, Recovery Elevator has released an episode with someone sharing how they quit drinking. We do this to help, to serve, and also selfishly since Paul and all members of the team are also on this AF journey. Paul started this podcast in 2015 and just celebrated 10 years since his last drink. He shares how he started the Recovery Elevator Sobriety Tracker . He also shares that since starting, we now have Café RE, have done five international sober travel trips, have had 15 official RE retreats, and over 1500 people have signed up for our courses. Paul shares what he is most happy about are the gains in his personal life. He is married and has a three-month-old son and is well into a creating a life that no longer requires alcohol. <p class="paragraph" style= "margin: 0in; vertical-align: ba
Mon, September 09, 2024
RE 499: Get Your Roll On
Episode 499 - Get Your Roll On Today we have Kerri. She is 55 years old, lives in Redding, CA and took her last drink on March 2nd, 2022. Sponsors mentioned in this episode: Better Help - code ELEVATOR Soberlink – receive $50 off of a device Better Rhodes – code RECOVERYELEVATOR15 RiseUp Coffee Athletic Brewing Sarilla [02:47] Thoughts from Paul: Prior to AA, alcoholism was considered a fatal disease. In less than 100 years, so much progress has been made in how alcoholism is viewed and treated. Now there is 100% a way out. We now know the most potent antidote to addiction is connection. And this looks like community, preferably one that contains a lot of laughter, which we have all heard is the best medicine. Paul shares with us that when he was crafting the recent Bozeman Retreat’s itinerary, he spent a lot of time thinking about one of the activities he was considering: a Skee-Ball tournament. The retreat is already full of the standard heavy hitters of share groups, breathwork, etc. but he wanted to try something different. Check out the pictures of the event in the post today: RE on Instagram So, 100 years ago, it was shock therapy and isolation to cure alcoholism. Today it’s Skee-Ball, laughter, and connection. [10:34] Kris introduces KMac: Kerri is 55 years old and lives in Redding, CA. She has two adult daughters and five grandchildren. She is married and they have two dogs.
Mon, September 02, 2024
RE 498: Be The Light
Episode 498 – Be the Light Today we have Ava. She is 17 years old and lives in Central North Dakota. She has been sober since October 13th, 2006. Sponsors for this episode: Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month [03:16] Meat and Potatoes Time: A few months ago, after a lot of prayer and consideration, Kris had a tough call with Paul. While he enjoys his job as podcast host immensely, his life has been changing. His kids are getting older and busier, and he has opportunities to step up his investment in his local community. Kris shares what this podcast has meant to him both as an interviewer and as a long-time listener. All of our stories have values, and he reminds us of the importance of being a light. No one lights a lamp and then covers it with a wash tub or shoves it under a bed. You set it up on the lampstand so that those who enter the room can see their way. We each have a light in us that is meant to shine. [10:18] Kris introduces Ava: Today Kris is speaking with a very special guest: Ava, his 17-year-old daughter. She works as a nanny and works front desk at a gym. For fun, Ava likes to read and spend time with her friends. Ava shares that the first time she became aware of alcohol’s presence in her life was when she was around ten. She noticed that her dad always had beer. She didn’t recognize that alcohol was causing a problem in her environment until her parents separated, Dad went to rehab, and they explained things to her. Anxiety was common for Ava during this time. Her mom and dad were fighting a lot, and weren’t very present at home, and she found herself looking after her little brother more and more. Ava didn’t feel like she had an outlet to share her feelings. She was left feeling like she wasn’t good enough and trying to be a people pleaser and take care of others. Ava remembers the last years of Kris drinking as being hard. She had been told that her dad was staying at the lake because it was closer to his work. She didn’t realize what was going on until she heard her mother on the phone talking about a divorce. Ava says that was hard to hear. Her parents were trying to protect the kids from what was going on. Ava says that this was a very difficult time for her. Her anxiety was up, and she
Mon, August 26, 2024
RE 497: I Can’t - You Can - Take it
Episode 497 – I Can’t – You Can – Take It Today we have Shelby. She is 38 years old and from Windsor Ontario. She took her last drink on December 23rd, 2023. Sponsors for this episode: Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month Visit Exact Nature use code RE20 to save 20% off of your order [04:10] Thoughts from Paul: Paul seeks to soften the entry point to AA and simplify the first three steps. For many the steps are intimidating. They are nebulous, part dogmatic and for some there are simply too many God or higher power references. But the do make it clear many times that this God (higher power) is of your understanding. You can even use a red stapler as your higher power – they will fully support you. The first three steps of AA: 1) We admitted we are powerless over alcohol 2) We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity 3) We decided to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. Which can be broken down to: 1) I can’t 2) You can 3) Take it Paul says he feels the most powerful part of AA isn’t the God stuff, it’s the group. The group is always stronger than the individual. I can’t, the group can. Here you go. I’ll see you all again tomorrow. [10:18] Paul introduces Shelby: Shelby is 38 years old, lives in Windsor Ontario and works for a car manufacturer on the assembly line. For fun Shelby enjoys all sports, camping and hiking. In high school Shelby was very athletic. When she was 15, she decided to focus on hockey and made it onto a junior team. She learned about h
Mon, August 19, 2024
RE 496: One Way Street
Episode 496 – One Way Street Today we have James. He is 40 years old and lives in Melbourne, Australia. He took his last drink on November 20th, 2023. Sponsors for this episode: Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month Visit Exact Nature use code RE20 to save 20% off of your order [04:16] Thoughts from Paul: The Paris Olympic Committee opted to not sell alcohol. They were confident that they could have successfully applied to sell alcohol but still decided not to. In an article from NBC News , it mentioned the following: “While many people enjoy a casual drink, that’s not always the case. According to estimates by the French Public Health Society, 49,000 people are killed a year by alcohol consumption, which also causes 120 billion euros in damages.” Them choosing not to sell alcohol proves that things are changing around the globe regarding alcohol consumption. Expanding on the topic of staying the course from last week’s episode, Paul shares that sobriety is a one-way street. He has yet to hear a story where someone with alcohol-free has gone back to drinking and was happy with the decision. The common theme when it comes to what drove them back to alcohol was that they drifted from the AF community and attended less meetings or stopped altogether. They second part of this is they all said it was not a pleasant experience and many ended up right back where they were. Do not beat yourself if you do some field research. We often need those reminders to reinforce internally that you made the right decision. Paul says he hasn’t met a single person who said they made the wrong choice when they decided to choose an alcohol-free life. [11:03] Kris introduces James: James lives in a rural area south of Melbourne, Australia. He is married with two kids, enjoys going to the gym and recently started playing football again. James says he had a normal upbringing. He put a lot of pressure on himself and felt like he was always being watched. Alcohol entered his life when he was around 14 and drinking helped him turn things off as an escape and he felt freedom.</p
Mon, August 12, 2024
RE 495: Stay the Course
Episode 495 – Stay the Course Today we have Robbie. He is 28 years old from Palm Springs, CA and took his last drink on January 4th, 2024. Sponsors for this episode: Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month Visit Sober Link to sign up and receive $50 off a device. [4:28] Thoughts from Paul: You are listening to this podcast because you’ve correctly identified that alcohol is what is holding you back. You see that alcohol isn’t delivering what was promised. Your inner guidance to quit drinking, to explore what that would look like is correct. Stay the course. You’re inner voice is spot on. You are on the right path. Paul shares his struggles with finding homeostasis after welcoming his child into the world. He feels his nervous system is stuck in a level of fight or flight. While he is feeling a lot of emotions around this, he reminds himself to stay the course. So, for all of those parents who are seeking sobriety – we will stay the course with you. What does staying the course look like when we depart from alcohol? Maybe it is tuning in to the podcast each week or logging just one more day alcohol-free. Maybe you are working through a quit lit book and the voice is saying it wasn’t that bad. Keep reading. Keep listening. Keep showing up. We are on the right path and it’s paramount that we stick together. [10:18] Paul introduces Robbie: Robbie lives in Palm Springs, CA. He enjoys tennis, pickleball, golf and interior design. Robbie says he didn’t drink much growing up and only started to drink while studying abroad in Australia. He was able to drink socially with little issue. The drinking became more frequent after Robbie had graduated college and was living alone in Denver. He found himself at happy hours and then returning home to continue to drink. At the time, Robbie knew that his drinking wasn’t normal but chalked it up to being a phase. During COVID lockdowns, Robbie ended up moving back to Montana to stay with his parents. Drinking was a great excuse since he didn’t have obligations. After moving back to his apartment, his drinking began earlier in the day over time. He was starting to ha
Mon, August 05, 2024
RE 494: Discomfort = Good
Episode 494 - Discomfort = Good Today we have Erin. She is 47 years old from Colorado and took her last drink on May 21st, 2022. Sponsors for this episode: Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. [02:53] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us “pain is followed by pleasure and pleasure is followed by pain”. Drinking to change the way you feel in order to feel better in the short term, will lead to a greater dip on the other side. Not only does drinking often come with a physical hangover, but the dopamine dip can be even worse. The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter is a great book on discomfort. The main point of the comfort crisis is to show that society’s relentless quest for pleasure is actually doing us a tremendous amount of harm. The discomfort that comes with ditching the booze is like a different type of gym that is making you so much stronger. Studies show that it was not uncommon for our ancestors to run and walk more than 25 miles in a day. Today we call that a marathon. They called it going out for dinner. A good sobriety tool to add to your toolkit is seeking discomfort – both the physical and the mental. Buddha said that life is suffering, and all attempts to avoid the suffering only create more suffering. Logging alcohol free days and leaning into the boredom and discomfort is incredibly healthy for you and is actually level 10 self-care, even though it hurts. [09:57] Kris introduces Erin: Erin lives in a small town in Colorado. She is a psychotherapist. She lives with her partner and two dogs. They enjoy all things outdoors; hiking, skiing, walking, going to the lake and she is fortunate to love her work as well. <p class="MsoNor
Mon, July 29, 2024
RE 493: The War is Over and I Lost
Episode 493 – The War is Over, and I Lost Today we have Allie. She is 31 and lives in Central, MA. She took her last drink on March 20th, 2024. There are still a few spots open on our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam . This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we’re heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers. Sponsors for this episode: Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month Exact Nature use promo code RE20 to receive 20% of your order [03:25] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares that he lost the war with alcohol. It was not for lack of effort… for over ten years, he would get back up and keep fighting, he would implement new strategies to control his drinking, but it didn’t matter. He still lost. He eventually raised the white flag and through the process of deconstruction, Paul says humility entered on its own without invitation. Every day he has to remember just how bad he got his ass kicked. Through the addiction process, humility is a gift that we receive. Humility is a modest view of one’s own self-worth or importance and addiction is the equalizer that puts us all on the same level. Losing the battle with alcohol is a humbling process which imprints on us a heaping dose of humility, which never leaves. A big part of today’s intro is empowering you to recognize this incredible gift. Once the battle with alcohol is over and humility is gained, we ultimately win. [10:38] Paul introduces Allie: Allie is 31 years old, and currently lives in central Massachusetts. She is married and they recently bought a house. For work she is an occupational therapist for students with different learning disabilities. For fun she enjoys the beach, travel, reading and exercise. Allie started experimenting with alcohol in high school – the typical parties on the weekend. Her parents were big advocates for safety around alcohol and knew that Allie and her brother were at the age of experimentation. Allie knew family members th
Mon, July 22, 2024
RE 492: Alcohol Isn’t the Problem
Episode 492 – Alcohol Isn’t the Problem Today we have Kristi. She is 50 years old and lives in Rome, GA. She took her last drink on December 11th, 2023. We just opened a few more spots for our upcoming retreat this August 14th through 18th in beautiful Bozeman, MT . Sponsors for this episode: Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month Exact Nature use promo code RE20 to receive 20% of your order [02:19] Thoughts from Paul: We think this is all about alcohol, but it’s not. There are different support groups for many various addictions, and the one thing that they have in common is whatever comes before the word “Anonymous” is not the problem. Page 64 in the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book states that the liquor was but a symptom. The booze isn’t the problem. There are deeper causes and conditions that are manifesting themselves in a drinking problem, gambling problem, shopping problem, etc. For many of us, alcohol isn’t the problem. It is but a symptom of what went down in our infant and toddler years. Childhood trauma (which can be both what happened to us and what didn’t happen for us) can leave us with holes that we end up doing anything to fill. Many of those interviewed on this podcast explain that the first drink made them feel whole again. We drink to change the way we feel and to cover up uncomfortable emotions. Alcohol is being used to cover up deeper issues. This may or may not be what you wanted to hear today, but it’s important to keep this podcast real. TRIGGER WARNING: The upcoming interview references self-harm. [10:54] Kris introduces Kristi: Kristi is 50 years old and is a hairstylist in Northwest Georgia. She has a 33 year old daughter with special needs, a partner and three dogs. For fun she enjoys reading, cooking and looks forward to getting back to kayaking. Kristi says she had a good childhood. Her parents divorced when she was young, and they both remarried when she was around seven. Growing up, Kristi felt like she was on the fringe of being part of the “in” crowd so wo
Mon, July 15, 2024
RE 491: Sobriety is Not...
Episode 491 – Sobriety is Not…. Today we have Santino. He is 36 years old, lives in Taunton, MA, and took his last drink on May 24th, 2022. Sponsors for this episode: Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. [02:55] Thoughts from Paul: A question we all eventually ask ourselves during our lifetime is – who am I? Eckhart Tolle (the author of The Power of Now and A New Earth) says that through the process of finding out who we are not, we also find out who we are. One of our Café RE hosts, Tonya, shared a great list of what sobriety is not which Paul shares and elaborates on: 1) Sobriety is not the same for everyone. 2) Sobriety is not going back to how things were. 3) Sobriety does not rid you of your past. 4) Sobriety is not the end of your life if you enter recovery or treatment. 5) Sobriety is not the end of socializing. 6) Sobriety is not something you can do halfheartedly. 7) Sobriety is not just a temporary thing. Rumi says “don’t be held captive. Your life has no border or shoreline”. Don’t be held captive by a mind created definition of what sobriety is because in reality, it can be whatever you want it to be. It can be infinitely boundless. [10:42] Paul introduces Santino: This is Santino’s third appearance on the podcast, and he is celebrating 2 years alcohol free at the time of this recording. Santino grew up in the Midwest but currently lives in eastern MA. He is currently working on writing his memoir and he and his wife are
Mon, July 08, 2024
RE 490: Expectations are Premeditated Resentments
Episode 490 - Expectations are Premeditated Resentments Today we have Stephanie. She is 48 years old and lives in San Diego, CA. She took her last drink on January 11th, 2020. Sponsors for this episode: Visit Better Help today to get 10% off your first month Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. [2:21] Thoughts from Kris: Kris shares that he and his family have always enjoyed camping. Recently, he was looking forward to a week that the family could get together, probably for the only time this summer due to work and social schedules. Things did not go as planned due to obligations, weather and some mishaps along the way. Kris found his mind making the determination that if their week didn’t look exactly like it was planned, then it was no longer good. This is one of Kris’s work-in-progress areas in his recovery. He shares that it’s somewhat normal to have expectations from the people in our lives and society in general, but what do we do when people, places and things fall short of those expectations? A few things that Kris does is practice gratitude – he is grateful for the time he does get to spend with family and the great weather they had for most of the week. He also practices taking a self-inventory and shares page 86 from AA’s Big Book to give us an idea of what that looks like. Let Kris know how you navigate expectations and resentments – kris@recoveryelevator.com [09:48] Kris introduces Stephanie: Stephanie lives in San Diego with her husband and twin 16-year-old boys. She works as a legal analyst for a Fortune 10 company and loves sports. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, playing games and traveling. Stephanie witnessed her father become a heavy drinker after the loss of her mother. She was young at the time and as she grew up vowed that she would not drink like he did. At 15, Stephanie first tried alcohol and ended up the victim of an assault during a blackout. Due to this, and her father’s alcoholism, Stephanie was very careful with her consumption for many years. After having kids and one of them was diagnosed with autism, she began to use alcohol
Mon, July 01, 2024
RE 489: The Best Parts of an Alcohol-Free Life
Episode 489 – The Best Parts of an Alcohol-Free Life Today we have Chris. He is 56 years old and lives in Beacon, NY and took his last drink on April 18th, 2024. Registration for our next Alcohol-Free travel trip to Vietnam opens TODAY! This upcoming January 9th-20th, 2025, we’re heading to this incredible Southeast Asia paradise for 10 days and 11 nights with 25 travelers who are done nursing hangovers. Welcome to our new listeners! We are glad to have you with us. You are in the right place. There is a whole new authentic life awaiting you, which isn’t far away. Congratulations to Paul and his wife on the birth of their new baby boy! Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [04:10] Thoughts from Paul: A few weeks ago, Paul asked our Instagram followers what is the best part of being sober or living an alcohol free life. He shares with us some of the responses he received. The four biggest commonalities he saw were: 1) More authenticity 2) Less shame and regret 3) More energy 4) More clarity Think of the sobriety quote “you’re giving up one thing for everything”. Sober Link [11:16] Paul introduces Chris: Chris says he is 56 years old and grew up in northern New Jersey, close to NYC. Cooking is his passion, and he has worked in the food and beverage industry all of his life, currently in a director role. Chris also enjoys the outdoors and currently lives in the Hudson Valley. Beyond the occasional night of overindulgence, Chris says his drinking was normal. He was around alcohol a lot in the industry he works in. After getting married, he and his
Mon, June 24, 2024
RE 488: Hello Truth
Episode 488 – Hello Truth Today we have Christine. She is 58 and lives in Ontario. She took her last drink on December 29th, 2022. Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st. We have room for 25 passengers on this journey. We have AF workshops, a home stay and a service project planned, plus you’ll be traveling with others who have already ditched the booze. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [02:56] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us some articles reminding us of what we already know: alcohol is shit. Society is waking up to the fact that no amount of alcohol is good for you. In 2023, GQ had an article titled The Year We realize Any Alcohol Is Bad For You . The World Health Organization, who once supported the stance that one to two drinks per day is beneficial, is now doing an about face. Their headline was No Level of Alcohol Consumption is Safe For Your Health . The New York times also had an article further showing that the truth is emerging: Even A Little Alcohol Can Harm Your Health. Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction shares Canada’s Guidance on Alcohol and Heath . NBC News shares their take on the fact that drinking moderately is not healthier than abstaining If you want to join the discussion, go to the <a href= "https://www.instagram.c
Mon, June 17, 2024
RE 487: How Would You Walk?
Episode 487 – How Would You Walk? Today we have Sarah. She is 45 and lives in Indiana. She took her last drink on December 31st, 2022. Let’s talk AF International travel with Recovery Elevator . We’ve got some incredible trips in the works. We’re going to Vietnam for 12 days in January 2025. Then Back to Costa Rica for our 4th trip to the Blue Zone in April 2025, and then, we’re going back to Peru in October 2025 where we’re going to the Inca Trail and work with Non-profit Peruvian Hearts again. Athletic Greens [02:42] Thoughts from Paul: The World Heart Federation published a policy brief in 2022 staying there is “no level of alcohol consumption that is safe for health.” There was and still is a collective belief that alcohol is good for you. This is especially prominent in the wine culture. The paradigm is slowly cracking which is a huge step in the right direction. When Paul started Recovery Elevator in 2015, you couldn’t find that line anywhere. It was almost customary to see a line that says something like “studies show moderate alcohol consumption can improve heart health and longevity”. Today the tides are turning and a narrative that alcohol can wreck your world (aka, the truth) is emerging. People are waking up to the lies that Big Alcohol has sold us. Check out this recent article about a new phenomenon called BORGS explains what these are and then follows it up with the snippet about alcohol being shit. [09:18] Paul introduces Sarah: Sarah is 45 and lives in Indiana. She is married with two kids and works in marketing. When she isn’t running the kids to their practices and games, she enjoys exercising, reading and backpacking. Sarah parents divorced when she was 11 and she grew up with her mother who she was very close with. She doesn’t recall alcohol being very present in their lives. Sarah didn’t drink much in high school but in college and into her 20s, everything she and her friends did involved alcohol. She always knew her drinking looked a little different than everyone else’s, but didn’t identify it as a problem. When Sarah was 35, her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer. Sarah quit working so
Mon, June 10, 2024
RE 486: The Most Dangerous Thing on the Planet
Episode 486 - The Most Dangerous Thing on the Planet Today we have Adam. He is 46 from Flowermound, TX and took his last drink on December 31st, 2022. Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st. We have room for 25 passengers to this southeast Asia destination. We have AF workshops, a home stay and a service project planned, plus you’ll be traveling with others who have already ditched the booze. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [03:00] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares many things that are dangerous but concludes that the most dangerous thing on the planet is the Ego. The reason why it is so dangerous is because it is never fully satisfied, it’s always hungry, lives in constant state of lack and is always seeking more, more, more. Alcohol is but a symptom of the most dangerous thing on the planet. Addiction gets a bad rap, but it does serve a purpose. It forces you to split from the thinking mind. As the author of The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer says you are the one hearing or witnessing the thoughts, but you are not your thoughts. Some of the humblest people Paul has met have been people in recovery. The addiction is the equalizer and forces us to seek a better way no longer guided by the blind pursuit of the ego. Sober Link . Sign up for a $50 off promo code. [10:22] Kris introduces Adam: Adam is a registered nurse, married to his wife for 23 years and they have two children. He loves hiking, camping and walking and enjoys tabletop gaming and the creativity and childlike innocence that it has awoken. Alcohol was not very present in Adam’s childhood household. When he was 15, he had a bad experience with hamburgers and cheap alcohol that kept him away for a while. Typical teenage experimentation was there, but not much booze in his high school years. Becoming a young adult found Adam at college and going to a lot of parties. The heavier partying led to Adam beginning to have blackouts and hangovers. He ended up going to the Appalachian Mountains for some mission work and to get away from his dissonance aro
Mon, June 03, 2024
RE 485: The Social Cost of Alcohol
Episode 485 – The Social Cost of Alcohol Today we have Jennifer. She is 41 from Hamilton, OT Canada and took her last drink on January 18th, 2024. Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [02:09] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares some information from an article he saw on the Instagram page recoveryroadmap.me . It discusses how in Canada, despite bringing in $13 billion in tax revenue, the net social costs in 2020 was $19 billion. And it is even worse in the US. The bright side of all of this is that we are becoming aware of this major deficit, and change is taking place. The demand for alcohol is lowering as people are becoming more aware that alcohol is not good for you. Two years ago, The Huberman Lab did a podcast called What Alcohol Does to Your Body and he debunked the myth that alcohol is good for you. Paul also shares that thanks to an initiative called Sounds Right , musicians who use natural sounds can list “Nature” as a featured artist and royalties from the tracks will go toward environmental causes. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [08:33] Paul introduces Jennifer: Jennifer is married and they have a daughter and a standard poodle. She works for the family business and for fun she plays paintball, tennis and volleyball – anything active with friends. Jennifer says that as the “good girl” growing up, she always wanted to be bad and says that drinking fit in with that. During the week she was excelling in school, but on the weekends, she went to raves with friends and started smoking weed. She enjoyed the duality of her life and the same pattern continued at university. While in her first year of college, her father bought back his company with a ten-year plan of Jennifer becoming the CEO. The stress and responsibility of this and her parents divorc
Mon, May 27, 2024
RE 484: Recovery is a Sandwich
Episode 484 – Recovery is a Sandwich Today we have Brian. He is 59 from Eastern Iowa. He took his last drink on May 23rd, 2023. Recovery Elevator is going to Vietnam January 9th-20th, 2025. Registration for our newest alcohol-free travel trip opens July 1st and we’ve got room for 25 passengers. Who’s up for seeing the world with a group of travelers who have ditched the booze? Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [02:24] Thoughts from Kris: Kris’ topic today is one of the foundational themes in recovery which is telling our story or burning the ships as we refer to it at Recovery Elevator. Burning the Ships refers to when Hernan Cortez sailed across the ocean and ordered his men to burn their ships when they landed. There was no turning back, no retreat. When we share our story, we can no longer hide from it and are faced to move forward with others having knowledge of our journey. This isn’t a black and white situation so it will be different for everyone, and we each have to do what is right for us. Kris shares the different levels of burning the ships and his experiences with them. He feels that the positives outweigh the negatives. When people hear our stories, not just the stats, it changes their perception. Hearing our stories in others’, helps us know we are not alone, and we never know the impact that sharing our stories may have on others. Think of the moments that have inspired you. What is your version of that? Let Kris know what you think. How has burning the ships played out for you? Email kris@recoveryelevator.com to share your thoughts. Athletic Greens: https://www.athleticgreens.com/recovery [10:48] Kris introduces Brian: Upon the release of this episode, Brian has just celebrated one year of sobriety! He is married, together they have five adult children and seven grandchildren. Brian is active and enjoys many outdoor activities, home projects, travelling and reading. <
Mon, May 20, 2024
RE 483: NA Beers
Episode 483 – NA Beers Today we have Tyler. He is 37 and lives in Phoenix, AZ. He took his last drink on November 28th, 2023. Recovery Elevator welcomes Danielle Marr to the team! She now writes the bi-monthly newsletter for RE which always has journalling prompts at the end. She taught our DTB writing course this last fall and does Instagram posts a couple days a week. She was also interviewed on episode 464 . To subscribe to the Recovery Elevator newsletter, click here and wait for the box to pop up. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [03:35] Thoughts from Paul Paul shares with us the history of NA beers and how they were created to pacify the Mothers Against Drunk Drivers campaign back in the 90’s. The companies had zero intention of scaling this segment of their business and it has been said that the purposefully made the beer tasteless and bland. Those days are gone. Non-alcoholic beer sales have been growing every year by 30-40% since 2019. Many of the major beer brands are investing time and money into creating their own NA products and there are more breweries popping up that are 100% dedicated to making an AF craft beer. There is no need to explore the NA beer world in the early days of your alcohol-free life because it can be triggering. There is trace amount of alcohol in many of the NA beers (usually less than 0.5%) and you would have to drink 25-30 of them to reach the legal BAC. Check out this Instagram post where someone drinks several NA beers and stills blows zeros into a breathalyzer. What the AF beer world exploding shows is that people are waking up to the fact that alcohol is not good for you and big alcohol sales are reflecting that. The stigma around alcohol addiction is also crumbling. We as consumers decide every move a business makes – start asking for more AF options at restaurants and grocery stores. Start asking and you will receive. Go Brewing . Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [09:58] Paul introduces Tyler: Tyler
Mon, May 13, 2024
RE 482: Advice For the Newly Sober
Episode 482 - Anna Today we have Anna. She is 49 from North Georgia and took her last drink on December 22nd, 2017. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [02:09] Thoughts from Paul: A few weeks ago, Paul made a post on the Recovery Elevator Instagram pages asking people what advice they would give to somebody who was about to quit drinking. Thank you to everyone that commented on the video, there were well over 100 comments. In this episode, he shares some of the comments and be sure to follow Recovery Elevator on Instagram if you don’t already. The most common advice was don’t do this alone, reach out for help, and join a community. We have partnered with Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [11:16] Kris introduces Anna: Anna lives in North Georgia and is a custodian at a middle school. For fun she enjoys hiking, camping and all things outdoors. Anna first started drinking when she was 18 in college. Prior to that she was focused on being a runner and it was when an injury made her stop that she traded her running addiction for alcohol. She says that she was a blackout drinker from the beginning. When asked by her now ex-husband why she drank Anna said it was because she wanted to. She believed it was a privilege to drink as long as she was keeping up with her responsibilities. At the time she didn’t believe that it wasn’t normal to be throwing up in the bathroom every day. She considered drinks as a reward for getting things done. Anna got a DUI and was required to attend a recovery center. That put her back in contact with other people and she realized that she missed being social and doing things with other people. Her last day of drinking was when she went Christmas shopping and told herself that she wasn’t going to drink, but she did. The next morning, her kids told her they weren’t able to wake her up the night before. That’s when Anna realized she had lost the privilege and the desire to drink was gone. About three weeks after that, she started att
Mon, May 06, 2024
RE 481: Collective Truths
Episode 481 - Collective Truths Today we have Susie. She is 52 and lives in Lubbock, TX and took her last drink on February 10th, 2024. Our alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman, MT on August 14th – 18th is currently sold out. But if you are interested in being put on the wait list, please email kmac@recoveryelevator.com Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [02:18] Thoughts from Paul: Paul’s goal with the introductions each week is to find a topic that we can collectively resonate with. His goal is for as many of us as possible to say “yep” or to nod our heads while listening. There are many different types of listeners to the podcast. Some had already ditched the booze, some long ago and some more recently. Another group is still in the process of quitting drinking. We also have another group of listeners who are here to support a loved one who is struggling with alcohol. We are so glad you are here with us. Paul lists the many reasons why people listen and what they are looking for by doing so. Ultimately, we are all here to grow. Go Brewing . Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [09:58] Paul introduces Susie: Susie is 52 and lives in Lubbock, TX with her husband of two years. She has been a hairstylist for many years and considers it her passion. Susie enjoys reading, exercise, enjoying the outdoors and attending sporting events. Susie first experimented with alcohol when she was in high school and didn’t care for it. There was very little drinking for Susie throughout college and her 20’s. In Susie’s 30’s, her husband and she began to drink socially on the weekends but his drinking increasingly got worse and eventually the divorced due to his anger issues and alcohol abuse. For a long time, Susie didn’t use alcohol as a coping mechanism but had other issues that she feels were attempts to avoid her feelings such as an eating disorder and excessive exercise. Susie reflects that she didn’t really have an off switch when she drank for events, but typically wouldn’t drink for a while afterwards. Shortly after marrying her current husband, some issues started to arise in their relationshi
Mon, April 29, 2024
RE 480: AF Legends
Episode 480 – AF Legends Today we have Emily. She is 31 and lives in Raleigh, NC. She has been sober since March 17th, 2019. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [02:26] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us a list of his favorite AF (Alcohol Free) legends. Included in the list is a man named Barry he met on the Gold Coast of Australia who taught him it’s the little things in life that create the most beautiful textures in life. Another AF legend is Bill Wilson who together with Dr. Bob would become founders of Alcoholics Anonymous. Paul also includes the 480 rock stars wo have shared their story on this podcast. Our interviewees have realized that for them to be successful, they have to help others. Thank you to all of the interviewees on the podcast. Included in the list is Paul’s dog Ben. He taught him unconditional love. And above all else, Paul feels the number one AF legend is the universe. It has provided everything he has needed for wholeness, happiness, and wellbeing. Even when being handed a roundhouse kick to the kidney, the universe only does so with the goal of promoting growth or to illuminate a better path. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [10:46] Kris introduces Emily: Emily is 31 years old, and lives in Raleigh, NC. She has a Husky named Yogi and she works in water treatment. For fun she enjoys attending music festivals and concerts. Emily says she is an adopted only child and grew up with wonderful parents that were always supportive. It was a religious household and while Emily feels she learned some great values through that, as she got older, she wanted to rebel a bit. Drinking with the older crowd was how she chose to do that and feels that she always drank to get drunk and didn’t see the point of drinking otherwise. After high school Emily would have rather gone to the military instead of going to college, which was what was expected of her. She decided to go to school and join the reserves instead. Shortly after turning 18, she got a DUI which ruined the military path for her. School became a big party for Emily, and she ended up failing out
Mon, April 22, 2024
RE 479: Identity Shift
Episode 479 - Identity Shift Today we have Destiny. She is 29 and lives in South Houston, TX. She took her last drink on December 30th, 2023. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored Café RE just submitted its application to become a 501c3 non-profit organization. The team has been working on the application for about 8 months and we have been told, in another 4-6 months, Café RE will become a nonprofit. We are going to be able to take our yearly service project to the next level, in which we can receive donations, then use those funds to make this planet a better place for all. Click the link below if you would like to check out Café RE. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. [03:12] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us that nothing is static, and everything is constantly changing. The roles we play in life are no exception. You are always changing. There was a time when your identity was an infant, then a child. Paul shares the many identities that he has had over the years and that he no longer identifies as a drinker. Identities of some of the largest beer brands in the history of the world are changing seemingly overnight and they are changing their identities for one reason only. That is because you are changing your identity. White Claw now has an AF option, only because enough customers have changed their identities and are beginning to ask for it and that’s the only reason why White Claw has this option. As your identity changes in regard to alcohol, start asking for what your identity craves. Next time you are at a restaurant, ask if they have an AF drink menu or what their options are. It is 100% okay to change your identity to a non-drinker in a seemingly drunk world. Athletic Greens [09:19] Paul introduces Destiny: Destiny is 29 years old; she is married, and they have a three-year-old son and a German Shorthaired Pointer. For work, Destiny is a nurse where she sees a lot of the damage that alcohol can cause. Destiny began drinking in her teens and it progressed from there. She worked i
Mon, April 15, 2024
RE 478: Unlocking Curiosity
Episode 478 – Unlocking Curiosity Today we have Cyndi. She is 54 and lives in Denver, Colorado. She took her last drink on December 10th, 2023. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [02:08] Thoughts from Kris: Kris shares how recovery has ignited his curiosity. While drinking, he didn’t step out of his comfort zone very much and feels he was perfection driven to offset the dumpster fire that was happening with his drinking. He didn’t feel safe not being good at things, so he never tried. Since in recovery, Kris has taken up a plethora of hobbies, most recently welding. His garage now houses evidence of his hobbies and creating new things rather than the massive amount of empties from when he isolated in there with alcohol. Kris now embraces his curiosity and lets himself fail as he learns new things. When asked what they like to do for fun, many interviewees respond that they are still trying to figure that out and that’s normal as we can become immersed in the drinking life and it’s hard to find time for anything else. What do you like to do for fun? What have you gotten back in sobriety? Or what would you like to be able to do? What’s holding you back? If you’re still in it, is there something that you could use as fuel or motivation? Go Brewing . Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [8:56] Kris introduces Cyndi: Cyndi is 54 years old and lives in Denver with her husband, cat, and dog. She has worked in the dental industry for the last 35 years and enjoys playing outside with her dog, hiking, camping, and cooking. Cyndi’s first real exposure to alcohol was when she was 15. She was at a party where she worked and drank a lot of beer trying to keep up with everyone. Even though she was sick a few days afterwards, she was not deterred and found drinking fun. Cyndi says she was “successful” at drinking for many years, but around 2019 she attended IOP but says it didn’t stop her. Her drinking soon created issues in the marriage, finding them separating from each other for periods of time and trying to use different tools to help Cyndi quit. After a particularly rough time, she started going to AA. She would be able to get a few months at a t
Mon, April 08, 2024
RE 477: It Can Be Done
Episode 477 – It Can Be Done Today we have Jim. He is 44 and lives in Silicon Valley, CA. He took his last drink on February 20th, 2024. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [02:27] Thoughts from Paul: Paul is coming up on ten years without a drink. He has attended many social situations without consuming any alcohol. When he told people he wasn’t drinking, the question he got was “Wait, you’re not drinking?” said as more of a statement of astonishment than anything. As in the impossible was happening right before their eyes and they were surprised someone could still have a good time without drinking. A major factor of why ditching the booze can be so hard is that the thinking mind will tell you it can’t be done. The biggest reason for this is that an alcohol-free life lies in the unknown. The mind and the ego crave the known. But it can be done. If you are on day one, a series of day ones, Paul reminds us that yes, it can be done. But for how long? A morning, an afternoon? A week? A month? A year? We are only ditching the booze one day at a time. Addiction forces us to confront the thinking mind. Addiction forces us to tease out who is who in the thinking mind. It forces us to locate and meet ourselves. Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [08:55] Paul introduces Jim: Jim lives in Silicon Valley and is a software engineering manager for a large tech firm. He is 44 and happily married for 21 years with three young kids. He enjoys skiing, learning woodworking, and completing task lists. Alcohol was a non-issue for much of Jim’s life. He tried it a few times when he was in his early teens, but he didn’t enjoy it much. He didn’t drink in high school or college and then drank very sporadically throughout his 20’s. In his 30’s, the company he worked for would have gatherings at the end of the week where alcohol was provided. Jim says this was where he started enjoying drinking. Over time it progressed and there were some negative consequences for Jim at work and he started suffering with anxiety and depression. At the time, Jim felt like he was living multiple lives. COVID era was a difficult time for Jim. He was worki
Mon, April 01, 2024
RE 476: Is Quitting Drinking Hard?
Episode 476 – Is Quitting Drinking Hard? Today we have Tonya. She is 50 and lives in St Paul, MN. She took his last drink on August 21st, 2021. Registration opens today for our annual retreat in the beautiful Rocky Mountains located outside of Bozeman, MT. This retreat is from Wednesday August 14th through Sunday August 18th, and it is going to be a blast! Click here for the full itinerary and to get pricing info. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [02:30] Thoughts from Paul: Is quitting drinking hard? It can be, yes but if you have a drinking problem, quitting drinking is way easier than riding alcohol off into the sunset of self-destruction. Here are some reasons why it can be a challenge: 1) Your body has to detoxify itself form the chemical alcohol. 2) You are going to have to learn some new routines and make new habits. 3) You need to start building friendships where alcohol isn’t the foundation. 4) Accept that boredom is a normal and healthy life experience. Here are some glorious truths about quitting drinking: 1) After 14-21 days you are going to get out of the brain fog and want more of the new “good-feeling” thing. 2) No more checking message to see what you said the night before, you’ll remember the book you read, less sick days at work, and more money in your bank account. 3) Your dopamine system rebalances. 4) You are living life at face value and when we do that, we can start to build the life that no longer requires alcohol. Go Brewing . Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% of
Mon, March 25, 2024
RE 475: Almighty Ceiba
Episode 475 – I See You Ceiba Today we have Shari. She is 60 and lives in Santa Barbara, CA. She took his last drink on December 31st, 2022. In two weeks on April 1st, registration opens for our annual retreat in the beautiful Rocky Mountains located outside of Bozeman, MT. This retreat is from Wednesday August 14th through Sunday August 18th, and it is going to be a blast! Click here for the full itinerary and to get pricing info. Check out our RE merch . We have hats, sweatshirts, tank tops, t-shirts and more. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [02:56] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us how the idea of Sober Travel first came to him. After a trip of a lifetime that went sideways for him, he knew the only way that he could do alcohol-free travel in the future was with alcohol-free travelers. On the most recent sober trip to Costa Rica, Paul and other members of the cohort traveled to see a Ceiba tree that is at least 350-400 years old. He shares with us the history of the Ceiba tree and what they mean to the people that live around them. They also got to witness live sea turtles hatching and were able to release them into the surf. Quitting drinking is like the release of the sea turtle. Your new life awaits, and anything is possible. Thank you to Sober Link and Athletic Greens for partnering with us on this event. [09:46] Paul introduces Shari: Shari is 60 years old and lives in Santa Barbara, CA. She has been married for 34 years and has furry children rather than human children. She works in consumer-packaged goods and operations and for fun enjoys cycling, hiking, and walking. Shari took her first drink when she was 13 and it resulted in a blackout and being extremely sick. She went through her teen years drinking whenever she had the opportunity, which was always problematic. Shari had multiple DUI’s by the age of 24 and with her second one was forced to go to AA and take a yearlong course in alcohol education. It was then that she realized she was an alc
Mon, March 18, 2024
RE 474: If You’re Serious About Change
Episode 474 – If You’re Serious About Change Today we have Nick. He is 36 years old from Grand Rapids, MI. He took his last drink on January 19th, 2021. In two weeks on April 1st, registration opens for our annual retreat in the beautiful Rocky Mountains located outside of Bozeman, MT. This retreat is from Wednesday August 14th through Sunday August 18th, and it is going to be a blast! Click here for the full itinerary and to get pricing info. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [02:41] Thoughts from Paul: Paul likes Instagram because it’s a platform for artists, for teachers, for musicians, for dancers, and more to showcase their talents. Paul shares with us audio from a video he found while on Instagram. Here’s the scene: It’s a busy city street at nightfall, when a gentlemen comes to a skidding halt on his electric motorbike wearing a microwave as a helmet. When his motorbike comes to a stop, he pushes the open microwave door button, and begins to speak. Check out the video here . If you are serious about change, there will be shitty times, but trust the process because in the long run you’re going to be a better person. The biggest gift Paul gets while doing Recovery Elevator podcast is witnessing the change made daily. This change, added up over many days, months and even years, results in quite the transformation. Check out our sponsor Go Brewing . Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [08:40] Kris introduces Nick: Nick is a real estate agent in Grand Rapids, MI. He enjoys outdoor activities in his free time. He has a boyfriend and a dog that he takes everywhere with him. Nick says he started drinking in high school when he and his friends would pillage the parents’ liquor cabinets. He enjoyed alcohol because it freed his inhibitions. As someone who was coming to terms with being gay in a conservative city and kept it a secret for a while. The internal struggle drove Nick to enjoy checking out and alcohol was the way he chose to do that. In his late teens, Nick started working in the food an
Mon, March 11, 2024
RE 473: An Easier Softer Way
Episode 473 – An Easier Softer Way Today we have Lee. He is 43 and lives in the United Kingdom. He took his last drink on August 17th, 2020. If you have found the Recovery Elevator podcast helpful to you, please take a moment to leave a review in either iTunes or Spotify. This helps you shred the shame and helps our show reach more listeners. Café RE is Recovery Elevator’s alcohol-free community. We are 1,400 strong and have one goal in mind which is to leave the booze behind. We are connecting over the pain points of alcohol and collectively creating the momentum needed to find wholeness without alcohol. If you would like to join, use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. [03:41] Thoughts from Paul: There are a million reasons why people drink. One reason is relief. Now thank you alcohol for providing myself relief when I needed it most. Then there came a time, and it wasn't overnight when the source of relief became less effective. Alcohol then provided no relief at all. Then it became a source of discomfort itself. Now the most excruciating part of a drinking problem is when we reach for alcohol to seek harmony, but it only brings pain. Now the conscious mind knows the outcome, it knows it won't work. But in the unconscious, it is still inscribed like a commandment on a clay tablet that alcohol will deliver the goods. So, listeners, the seed I want to plant with you today, that even though we live in a world full of messaging and imagery saying that alcohol will enhance your life, in reality, the truth is an alcohol-free life is the easier, softer way. Sober Link – receive $50 off of a device. [08:33] Paul introduces Lee: Lee is from Birmingham, UK where he lives with his wife and two kids. He works for a paint manufacturer and for fun he enjoys exercise. Lee’s first taste of alcohol was when he was 8 and he thought it was terrible. Around age 14 he attended a party where there was alcohol, and he enjoyed the buzz he got from drinking until the next morning when he felt hungover. It was a few years later before he started drinking regularly. Lee utilized alcohol to combat insecurities and be more social. People told Lee that after he was married and had kids that he would se
Mon, March 04, 2024
RE 472: Shifting Seasons
Episode 472 – Shifting Seasons Today we have Erin. She is 45 and lives outside of Boston. She took her last drink on December 26th, 2021. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [01:52] Thoughts from Kris: The transition out of winter is one of Kris’ favorites. He sees it as an awakening. He took the cue from Mother Nature and paused this season. No big decisions or changes. Just time to reflect on things. Now that nature is starting to wake back up, he feels it’s time for him to do the same. Kris reflects on his first spring in recovery and how the nice weather worried him. He started connecting with multiple recovery groups, discovering his triggers, digging into his whys and was able to feel connected to something bigger than himself. Being a part of a recovery community is cool that way... we see the reward in our own growth, but we’re contributing to the growth of the whole as well. Wherever you are this spring, that’s right where you’re supposed to be. Where you go from here is up to you. What tools do you have that you’re using? What tools aren’t you using? Is this a season to pick something up, or one to let some things go? Only you can answer these questions for yourself. Check out our sponsor Go Brewing . Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [09:08] Kris introduces Erin: Erin is 45 and lives about 13 miles outside of Boston. She works as a senior paralegal for a large corporation and works for Rover on the side where she takes care of other people’s animals. Erin says her exposure to alcohol was limited to family drinking on holidays or special occasions, but she never tried drinking until she went away to college. What started as curiosity, ended up as binge drinking and partying multiple days of the week when she joined a sorority. After getting married, Erin says the drinking was more casual on the weekends or when out and about. After a tough breakup in her early thirties, Erin found herself living alone, working two jobs, and going back to finish college. During her second marriage, Erin says she and her husband drank a lot socially. Her husband was the life of the party when they were out, but home there was a very different scene that found Erin drinking in isolation to deal
Mon, February 26, 2024
RE 471: Progress and Perfection
Episode 471 – Progress and Perfection Today we have Carl. He is 52 years old and lives in California. He took his last drink on August 22nd, 2014. Café RE – promo code OPPORTUNITY waives set up fee. [03:08] Thoughts from Paul: Arriving at a perfect balance with progress and perfection is ungodly hard, and we all struggle with it. No one is perfect and if you’re telling yourself, you should be doing more of ABC and less of XYZ, welcome to the party, welcome to the human condition. There is progress though, you are self-aware which is more than 1/2 the battle. We have to have dualities, for example, tall to know short, you need silence to know sound. You have to have imperfection to know perfection. They are both equally important and you can’t have one without the other. So, with progress not perfection, most of us are using someone else’s version of perfection to define ourselves. While your soul is remarkably perfect, this is no perfection in this perfectly imperfect world. Go do you, and remember we are all just walking each other home. Athletic Greens [09:52] Paul introduces Carl: Carl is 52 years old, and he is a graphic artist. Carl admits he didn’t have a lot of fun before recovery but now enjoys writing, painting, drawing, and podcasting. He is the creator of Sober Pod Recovery Podcast . Carl had been in treatment as early as 15 years old and says that even while doing programs, he was essentially a dry drunk. He had other addictions and was able to get sober for five years before a relapse. Carl married his childhood sweetheart who had a child from a previous relationship. Together they had three more children. He says he drank alcoholically and while he was functional, he pushed the limits and was mixing copious amounts of alcohol with other drugs. He would take the online tests and the conclusions would all lead to treatment. Health consequences were happening for Carl, but he resigned myself to being the guy who drinks himself to death.
Mon, February 19, 2024
RE 470: Why Alcoholics Don’t Get Hangovers…?
Episode 470 – Why Alcoholics Don’t Get Hangovers…? Today we have Lara. She is 40 years old and lives in Northwest Arkansas. She took her last drink on August 8th, 2019. We are putting a call out for early sobriety interviews. We want to hear from you guys. Please email info@recoveryelevator.com . Upcoming events: We start our six-week Ditching the Booze course, the what, the why and the how. This course is for Café RE members only and use the promo code “OPPORTUNITY” to waive the set-up fee if you are interested in joining us. Registration for our 6th annual retreat in Bozeman, Montana opens Monday April 1st. We come together as a group and we laugh, we heal, we eat blueberry pancakes, play kickball, and have a great time. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [04:12] Thoughts from Paul: There was a great question during our Dry January class that asked “Why don’t alcoholics get hangovers?” Paul did a YouTube video about this but wanted to share more here. Truth is, they do get hangovers, but they usually begin drinking before the full amount of alcohol can be metabolized in their system that they drank the day or night before. As tolerance develops with alcohol, the hangover gets pushed back later in the day the next day. A chronic drinker who drinks 10-15 drinks daily, won’t begin the hangover cycle at 8am the next morning, but more likely, they will experience the worst of the withdrawal effects later that day or evening. Chronic drinkers are almost always experiencing a low to mid-grade hangover. In other words, they feel like shit all the time. First alcohol takes you to a place where you are no longer drinking to feel good, but to simply feel normal. They you are drinking to simply not feel like death. And then the worst place is when you are simply drinking not to die. *HUGE ASTERISK* Alcohol is the most dangerous substance to detox from. If you have been drinking 5-8 drinks daily, for months or years, then it’s a very good idea to seek medical attention when detoxing. Go Brewing . Use the code ELEVATOR for 15
Mon, February 12, 2024
RE 469: 10 Facts About Americans and Alcohol
Episode 469 - 10 Facts About Americans and Alcohol Today we have Lisa. She is 66 years old and lives in Atlanta, GA. She took her last drink on November 16th, 2022. Café RE – use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee. [02:51] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us ten facts about Americans and their drinking habits that he found in an article from the Pew Research Center. The article shares with us statistics regarding what people are drinking and where alcohol consumption is the highest, along with statistics about age and income ranges. The biggest takeaway from this article is the first stat that says, “Only 62% of U.S. adults say they drink” while 38% abstain completely. Not everyone is kung fu fighting. There is a voice inside the head that says, “Everybody drinks”, but right there we just debunked that myth. A lot of people don’t drink because they don’t want to. Many people don’t drink because their forced to. Whatever the reason is, about 40% of Americans don’t drink. And although alcohol consumption is rising, we’re seeing the younger generations say no, like no previous generation has done so. Check out Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [10:00] Paul introduces Lisa: Lisa is a repeat guest from episode 411 . She took her last drink on November 16th, 2022. She is 66 and lives outside of Atlanta. She has been married for 37 years and they have two adult children. Lisa enjoys working out, traveling, reading, and listening to podcasts. Lisa grew up in a close family, but her parents had a miserable marriage. Her mother drank to deal with it and the drinking increased when Lisa was in middle school. Upon trying her first drink in high school, she didn’t have the “wow” moment at first but quickly found it gave her confidence and she felt accepted and less insecure with her friends. After graduating college and entering the booming computer software industry, Lisa found herself drinking at a lot of parties, conferences, and sales meeti
Mon, February 05, 2024
RE 468: A Day in the Life
Episode 468 – A Day in the Life Today we have Amber. She is 41 years old and lives in San Luis Obispo. She took her last drink on May 26th, 2020. “First it is an intention; then a behavior; then a practice; then a habit; then second nature; then it is simply who you are". Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [03:04] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares with us what a typical day in sobriety looks like for him. He starts his days with hydration, breathwork and/or stretching, reading and coffee. He takes time to connect with the universe and asks for guidance throughout the day. Paul likes to reflect on what he is thankful for either in a journal or he sits in a comfortable location outside facing the sun while he closes his eyes and gives thanks. Even on shit days, he makes a point to thank the universe. Reminding himself that the present moment is all that matters, spending time in nature, doing things that he enjoys, connecting with fellow sober peeps, and being creative are also very important to Paul. Go Brewing use the code elevator at checkout for 15% off. [12:13] Kris introduces Amber: Amber is 41 years old; she has two boys and a partner in crime. She works as a 2nd grade teacher, in addition to being a running and sobriety coach. They live in San Luis Obispo, CA and enjoys hiking, mountain biking, running, and swimming. Growing up, Amber says she was always shy and preferred to be in the background. She was introduced to alcohol in high school and discovered it helped her feel confident and have fun. She didn’t really enjoy the taste, but she loved the way it made her feel and she and her friends drank every weekend. After going to college, Amber says her drinking only increased. She was recruited to be on the softball team with a full scholarship. The practice and academic schedule was challenging and her drinking increased from every weekend to nearly every day. She gained weight, she wasn’t studying, and her grades were suffering. Her performance on the team found her on the bench often and eventually she was cut from the team and lost everything. Amber moved to San Diego and f
Mon, January 29, 2024
RE 467: A Good Cry
Episode 467 – A Good Cry Today we have Andrea. She is 47 years old and lives in Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on November 9th, 2021. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [02:12] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares a quote with us that says, “decide what life you want to live and say no to everything else”. This same quote can be applied to your thoughts. What comes to mind after reading this quote is the word “purge”. Saying no and letting go of things that don’t fit the life we want to live isn’t easy, but it is healthy and so is crying. Emotional tears have many health benefits. They contain stress hormones and other toxins. Researchers have theorized that crying flushes these toxins out of your system. A good cry also activates the parasympathetic nervous system which sends signals of calm and restoration to the body. In addition to this, crying dulls pain and releases oxytocin and endorphins. It is a way for the body to find a new emotional balance. A much better way than using alcohol. If you're finding emotions hard to deal with in sobriety then give the body permission to purge them out in the form of tears. Go ahead and lean into the millions of years of universal intelligence the body possesses and have a good cry. Café RE – use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee. [09:28] Paul introduces Andrea: Andrea is 47 years old and lives near Phoenix. She has four children, two grandchildren and a Great Pyrenees. She works with people with substance abuse disorders and is working on a master’s in social work. For fun she enjoys jogging, hiking, DIY projects and documentaries. Andrea and her family moved around a lot when she was going up which made it hard for her to keep friends. She had her first drink shortly after she discovered that her father was cheating on her mother. She felt the calming effects the first time and drank every change she could get during her teens. Andrea started bartending when she was 19. This found her drinking a lot after work which was creating some issues in her marriage. She was able to abstain from alcohol during all of her pregnancies but would drink as soon as she coul
Mon, January 22, 2024
RE 466: What Should I Do Now?
Episode 466 – What Should I Do Now? Today we have Rick. He is 46 years old and lives in New Hampshire. He took his last drink on September 9th, 2023. This Saturday, January 27th we start our six-week alcohol-free ukulele course . We meet for six weeks with a group of rock stars exploring life without alcohol, and who want to learn a new hobby in recovery. This course is brought to you by Kala Brand . If you need to pick up a ukulele, click the link and use the promo code ELEVATOR24 for a discount. The collaboration between Go Brewing and Recovery Elevator is here! Pick up your limited edition RE Sunbeam Pils , using the code elevator at checkout for 15% off and free shipping on orders overt $40. [02:45] Ponderings from Kris: For many of us on this journey, we start in a survival state of mind. The early days are filled with some basic life skills. How do I not drink when I get home from work? How do I handle conflict with people in my life? What do I do when I’m bored, stressed, sad, angry, or how am I supposed to celebrate? Kris reminds us that it is normal to focus on these things. After a while there is a shift to “what’s next?”. Recovering people before us have figured out that in order to keep what we have found in recovery; we have to give it away. We have had our struggles, and some of us have been through some really challenging situations that led up to, or as a result of our alcohol usage, but we don’t have to let that keep us down! Who is better equipped to talk to someone struggling with substance abuse than a peer that has been through the same thing? Kris feels that there is something beautiful about taking the dark parts of our lives and using it to bring light to someone in need. You are more than your story. You are more than the dark times. You are a walking example of hope. You are proof that the courage to change exists. Athletic Greens: https://www.athleticgreens.com/recovery [11:07] Kris introduces Rick: <p
Mon, January 15, 2024
RE 465: Drink Responsibly?
Episode 465 – Drink Responsibly? Today we have Kevin. He is 44 years old and lives in Cleveland, OH. He took his last drink on April 28th, 2018. I want to give a shout out to our DRY January REstore cohort. We’re 1/2 way there, you all are doing a fantastic job, I’ll see you all tonight. On January 27th we start our six-week alcohol-free ukelele course . This course is brought to you by Kala Brand . Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [03:09] Thoughts from Paul: One of the main goals at Recovery Elevator is to soften the stigma surrounding alcohol addiction and recovery. Another goal is to give listeners permission to shred the shame and recover our authentic selves along the way. The phrase “Drink Responsibly” is such a cop out and doesn’t do anything but place blame on the drinker. Alcohol is the most addictive drug on the planet, and you won’t see other drugs proclaiming that you use the substance responsibly. We can do the “Drink Responsibly” thing way better and at the same time bring more people together in community from both sides of the aisle to heal. A favorite NA beverage company of Paul’s, GO Brewing and Recovery Elevator have partnered up to release 180 six packs of their award-winning Sunbeam Pilsner. GO Brewing was started by a fellow member in the recovery space, Joe Chura. This is two companies who have a similar goal, uniting, in attempts to shred the shame around alcohol addiction. Pick up your limited edition RE Sunbeam Pils , use the code elevator at checkout for 15% off and free shipping on orders over $40. Andrew Huberman – What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [10:20] Paul introduces Kevin: Kevin is 44 years old and lives in Cleveland area, he is the head of coaching for the Reframe app and a former accountan
Mon, January 08, 2024
RE 464: Doing Something Different
Episode 464 – Doing Something Different Today we have Danielle. She is 34 years old and lives in Northern Ontario. She took her last drink on August 20th, 2023. On January 27th we start our six-week alcohol-free ukelele course . This course is brought to you by Kala Brand . Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [03:22] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares the history of Recovery Elevator, how launching the podcast gave him accountability and how the listeners helped it expand over the last 464 consecutive weeks. The big message he wants to share here, however, is that if you are going to quit drinking or are seeking an alcohol-free life then you’re going to have to do something different. Probably something very different than what you’re currently trying. And it doesn’t have to suck. You 100% can ditch the booze, and we are here to help. But do yourself a favor join Café RE, go to an AA meeting, check out Smart Recovery, take a sober ukulele class. There are more recovery pathways today than there ever have been, and we feel there is no right or wrong way to quit drinking. We have partnered with Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [10:54] Kris introduces Danielle: Danielle just passed the 100-day mark at the time of recording. She is 34 and is married with two cats and two dogs. She lives in Northern Ontario, and she is self employed as a copywriter and website designer. She enjoys hiking, paddleboarding, reading, yoga and lots of writing. Danielle says she started experimenting in high school around age 15. She wanted to be part of the crowd but as an introvert found it exhausting and preferred connecting with small groups at the parties. In college, she leaned more onto weed which she feels helped with her sleep and anxiety issues. She met her now husband when she was 22. They were living in Australia for a time and up until this point Danielle was just smoking and drinking socially. Her husband was a daily drinker and Daneille started drinking wine when they would travel.
Mon, January 01, 2024
RE 463: Balance
Episode 463 – Addicted to not Being Addicted Today we have Zach. He is 34 years old and lives in Richmond, VA. He took his last drink on July 18th, 2023. Our Dry January course RESTORE starts tonight, so get your register on, and join us at 8 PM EST for our first live session later this evening. On January 27th we start our six-week alcohol-free ukelele course . This course is brought to you by Kala Brand . Check out our sponsor Go Brewing . Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [04:14] Thoughts from Paul: Today we are talking about change. Research suggests that only 9% of people that make New Years resolutions complete them. Many quit well before February even starts. The main reason that these resolutions fail is our energies swing all the way to one side of the spectrum. In other words, we are out of balance. With drinking, we find ourselves addicted to alcohol. Then the mind comes up with the idea that we need to not be addicted to alcohol, then we become addicted to the idea of not being addicted. This is equally out of balance. So that’s the word I want to plant with you today as we begin the new year is balance. On our sobriety journey, we cannot fight, or go to battle with an alcohol addiction. So, in terms of quitting drinking and not going overboard in the theatre of war against yourself, let’s keep it simple. All you have to today is one thing, that is not pick up a drink. Are we quitting for a lifetime? God no. That would be out of balance. We are only quitting for today. Café RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee [10:36] Paul introduces Zach: Zach was originally from California but currently lives in Richmond, VA. He has two sons who live nearby with their mother. He is a technical writer for the federal government. He enjoys the gym and spending time outdoors. Zach grew up in a home where alcohol wasn’t very present. He attended a small college where it wasn’t very prevalent either. He took his first drink after finishing college and was a normal drinker throughout his 20’s. <p class="MsoN
Mon, December 25, 2023
RE 462: To Have is to Give
Episode 462 – To Have is to Give Today we have Tana. She is 44 years old and lives in Washington State. She took her last drink on July 30th, 2020. Registration for our DRY January course RESTORE is now open! It’s time to get your alcohol-free connect on and say adios to the booze. Our first session is Monday, January 1st at 5 pm PST or 8 pm EST. The most common issue I hear is that people don’t have a network of others who don’t drink. Well, Our Restore is going to solve that and you’re going to learn all about alcohol, alcohol addiction, and how to beat it. Paul shares an article where scientists say the mystery of how red wine headaches occur may be solved. Paul’s opinion is that it’s a waste of time, but here’s the link for curiosity’s sake. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [03:40] Thoughts from Paul: In 1935, A.A. Founder Bill W, found that when he shared his experience, strength and hope to another individual who was struggling with alcohol, then Bill magically had the strength to remain sober. It shows the universal law of “to give is to have”. Today I give you the message of Merry Christmas. To plant the seed, that to give is to have. To have is to give. Most of us have learned a way, or path that didn’t work. Or maybe it kind of worked but was or is incredibly painful. For me, this path required numbing agents, alcohol being the most potent one. Now I know there are a couple thousand of you who listen to this podcast first thing on Monday morning when the episodes are released. Fantastic. How blessed I am to get you ear first thing in the morning. Ask not what Santa, or your family can give to you, but ask what you can give to them. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [00:00] Kris introduces Tana: Tana is from Washington state, and she works in healthcare and recently has found a new passion for teaching yoga. She has three children, two who have recently graduated college and a 10-year-old daughter. She recently separated from her husband. She enjoys backpacking, hiking, running and dance. <p class="MsoNormal"
Mon, December 18, 2023
RE 461: Wait, You Drink Poison?
Episode 461 - Wait, You Drink Poison? Today we have Gill. She’s 33 years old from Lexington, MA and took her last drink on November 9th, 2019. Update from Ryan H on episode 457 – “I’m going on two weeks now and I’m definitely starting to notice a difference in my mood, digestive issues and weight.” Registration for our intensive DRY January course RESTORE is now open! It’s time to get your alcohol-free connect on and say adios to the booze. The most common issue I hear is that people don’t have a network of others who don’t drink. Well, Our Restore is going to solve that and you’re going to learn a ton about alcohol, alcohol addiction, and how to beat it. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [03:02] Intro: Paul shares two Instagram accounts that will help you on your sobriety journey: Drop the Bottle - all about sobriety and ditching the booze. A.L.A.D.D.I.N – not about sobriety, but it is entertaining and when it’s creator shares his art with the world, it gives others permission to do the same. Athletic Greens: https://www.athleticgreens.com/recovery [08:22] Paul introduces Gill: Gill is 33 and lives right outside of Boston, MA. She has a husband and a cat. She loves playing video games, going to concerts and travelling. She teaches chemistry courses and labs at a college in Boston. She is also the host of the Sober Powered podcast. Gill says she didn’t start drinking until grad school. She didn’t have opportunities in high school because she was bullied and didn’t hang out with people that drank. She started because she feared that if she didn’t then no one would like her. Once she tried it a few times and got her first buzz, she enjoyed it so much it became a regular thing for her. Gill started having repercussions from drinking early on
Mon, December 11, 2023
RE 460: Text If You Need TP
Episode 460 – The Friends We Keep Today we have Kerry. She’s 40 years old from Williston, ND and took her last drink on January 7th, 2016. Shoutout to our Café RE chat hosts! Thank you for your dedication to the community, and for providing a space for us to share our experiences. You’re the best! Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [01:29] Highlights from Kris: It’s important that we surround ourselves with people who are going to enrich our lives. People who will meet us where we are, but also challenge us and encourage us to grow. Kris shares some examples of great friends he has in his life and shares an article that outlines Five Types of Friends – friends we need and need to be. Take a look at the people you have in your life. Do you think you have someone that fits in each of these categories? When was the last time you let them know what they mean to you? Use this as a reminder to tell someone you love them, and that you’re grateful for them. If you find yourself today, feeling like YOU’RE alone, I promise you that you’re not. You’re people are out there. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:15] Kris introduces Kerry: Kerry and her partner live in Williston, ND and are raising four kids. She recently decided she was going to become a firefighter which stemmed from being an EMT and a nurse. She enjoys spending time with the kids and they are currently rebuilding a boat. Kerry was exposed to alcohol throughout her childhood but didn’t really have any great interest in it. She feels that she was a people pleaser and didn’t want to get in trouble until senior year when she decided she could let loose and have some fun before going to college. She found alcohol gave her relief from the stressors in her life. Going into college she and her friends were party seekers. She had excelled so much academically that she felt she could relax and have fun and not worry about responsibilities. Her idea of an addict was her dad who wasn’t obvious about it. She didn’t have the consequences he did so she didn
Thu, December 07, 2023
RE: Holiday Bonus Episode
Now the Holidays have been coupled with alcohol for as long as the Earth has been orbiting the Sun. I’m kidding, that isn’t correct, but you get the point. And if you’re struggling with alcohol or trying to get sober, the holidays can be the ultimate challenge. This episode should help. In this Holiday Collab Episode, we’ve got Gill from the Sober Powered Podcast. Casey from the Hello Someday Podcast, and Veronica from the Soberful Podcast.
Mon, December 04, 2023
RE 459: Let’s Smile
Episode 459 – Let’s Smile Today we have Spencer. He’s 44 years old from Minneapolis, MN and took his last drink on September 23rd, 2023. Registration for RESTORE is no open! If you want to take a break for a month, or say adios for good, this course is for you. You’re going to learn all about alcohol addiction, what it is, what it isn’t, how to beat cravings, you’ll learn about many different recovery pathways, and the best part is you won’t be doing this alone. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:04] Highlights from Paul: Start your day with a smile. It doesn’t matter if the smile is fake or real. The body doesn’t know the difference and the nervous system always responds positively with a smile. Smiling increases mood-enhancing hormones. Smiling releases endorphins, natural painkillers, and serotonin, while decreasing stress-enhancing hormones, including cortisol, and adrenaline. It also reduces overall blood pressure. Another reason to smile is that research shows that smiles are contagious. Most people will find a way to reciprocate in a friendly manner. Smiling is a way to be of service because it makes other people’s days better. Spiritual teacher Thich Nhat Hanh has said “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." Start your day with a 30 -second smile. And not for just one day or two, but rock that smile every morning for the rest of this year and hopefully beyond. And don't forget to keep that smile going throughout the day. Paul shares some dad jokes to help get us started. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [08:04] Paul introduces Spencer: Spencer grew up in Minneapolis area. He is married with two kids. He enjoys playing blues and rock on his guitar and spending time on the river with his family. Spencer has been an electrician for 23 years. Spencer says that alcohol was a big
Mon, November 27, 2023
RE 458: Passion Will Return
Episode 458 – A Big Win Today we have Mike. He is 44 from Huntsville, AL and took his last drink on April 10th, 2023. Registration for RESTORE opens this Friday! If you want to take a break for a month, or say adios for good, this course is for you. You’re going to learn all about alcohol addiction, what it is, what it isn’t, how to beat cravings, you’ll learn about many different recovery pathways, and the best part is you won’t be doing this alone. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:42] Highlights from Paul: Paul shares how releasing his first album is a huge win for him and that the listeners are a big part of making it happen. Something commonly heard when people quit drinking is “what is going to fill the void?”. We have to rediscover likes and interests. Part of the journey is trying out new hobbies. Sometimes it takes a while to find out what we like to do though, so be patient with your healing. If you want to hear the outro song and the full album under the name of Pablo Church, you can check it out on Spotify , or search your preferred music streaming service. What dreams, goals, aspirations, did you have that alcohol stifled like a wet soggy blanket. What did alcohol bump down on your list of personal goals? What do you want in life now that alcohol is no longer in the front seat? Take a moment to ponder these questions, maybe hit pause in this episode, put pen to paper and get clear on what you want. Paul and the RE community are here to help you make it happen. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [07:18] Kris introduces Mike: Mike lives in Huntsville, AL and works in construction. He is married and they have five kids. He enjoys attending his kids’ sporting events and being outside and active. Mike grew up in a conservative home. His father had a history of rebellion and his mother lost both parents to alcoholism when she was young, so they chose to keep alcohol out of the home. Mike first tried alcohol on New Year’s Eve when
Mon, November 20, 2023
RE 457: What if I Can’t Quit Drinking?
Episode 457 – What if I Can’t Quit Drinking? Today we have Ryan. He’s 33 years old from Orange County, NY and took his last drink on September 24th, 2023. Happy Thanksgiving to all the listeners in the USA! Be sure to take some time this week and let the universe know what you are thankful for and remember a drink won’t make your holiday any better. Athletic Greens [02:42] Highlights from Paul: It’s the last Q&A episode and today’s question is from Darren in Tampa Bay who asks, “What if I can’t quit drinking?” Paul shares that he could have asked this same question not that long ago and his message to Darren and others that maybe feeling this way is to keep moving forward, don’t quit quitting, keep using the mind to build, to visualize your alcohol-free life. Accept it all, embrace the journey, and you will come out the other side. Paul rephrases the question to ask, “what if I can’t quit drinking today?” and shares some thoughts and strategies to implement which include: - It isn’t quitting for a lifetime, it’s only for today and it gets easier. - Don’t beat yourself up. People with drinking problems drink but on the flip side people with drinking problems quit every day. - Stick to the plan of seeking sobriety. “What you seek is seeking you”. - For many, it is a journey, and it takes time for things to get into sync. You don’t need to rush the process. Thank you, listeners, for all the questions! Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:44] Paul introduces Ryan: Ryan is on day 5 at the time of this recording. He is 33 years old and is engaged and has two stepchildren. He is a drummer and loves
Mon, November 13, 2023
RE 456: How Do You Let Go of Resentments?
Episode 456 – How Do You Overcome Resentments? Today we have Nathan. He’s 42 years old and from Andover, MN and took his last drink on April 19th, 2023. On January 1st, 2024, we are starting our intensive sobriety course geared towards the newcomer. Check out the link to learn more about RESTORE . Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:01] Highlights from Paul: Today’s question is from Darren A. who asks, “Can you discuss resentment and letting go of resentment?" Life is a school where the people, places, and things are there to help us grow and become deeper human beings. The people we encounter in life are there to help us grow. The theory is that none of this is happening to you. Remember, that is how a victim speaks. Flip that to believe that everything that has ever happened to you in your life is happening for you, for your own personal growth and development, to make you a more resilient human being. Resentments are the teachers. Yes, they suck, they emotionally and physically hurt, but they are the opportunities for healthy and normal growth. Another strategy is to stop labeling things as good or bad. When a person, place or thing pisses you off, try to recognize the mind immediately slapping a label on it, try to remain open. We don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. That person who may have recently dogged you may have actually shielded you from a tragedy down the road. “You can be right, or you can have peace." Paul shares this mantra with us frequently on the podcast. He tries to repeat this mantra when he encounters a difficult life challenge. We want to hear from the listener. How do you overcome resentments? Let us know in our Monday Instagram post on the Recovery Elevator Instagram page. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [08:56] Kris introduces Nathan: Nathan is 42 and lives in Andover, MN. He works in financial operations but was recently laid off. He is in the process of going through a divorce and has two cats. He enjoys woodworking and building things w
Mon, November 06, 2023
RE 455: How Do You Feel About Ayahuasca and Other Plant Medicines?
Episode 455 – How Do You Feel About Ayahuasca and Other Plant Medicines? Today we have Chris. He is 40 years old and lives in Austin, TX. He took his last drink on February 16th, 2007. Check out our events page for our lineup of upcoming retreats and courses. Beginning January 1st, RESTORE , our intense Dry January course is back! In February we have another 5-week Ukelele Course. Then in March, we have two events in Costa Rica , and we’ll see you in Bozeman, Montana in August for our 6th annual retreat in Big Sky Country. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:16] Highlights from Paul: Today is episode 9 out of 10 in the Q&A series. Today’s question comes from Krista B, in our Café RE group. She says: “How Paul is feeling about ayahuasca and other plant medicines. Are you still as passionate about its benefits today as a few years ago? Has the treatment worked in a sustained way, in your opinion?” Paul shared his initial experience with ayahuasca in episode 170 . He believes that plant medicines have a place in the world of addiction and mental health. Do not buy it on the internet and try it solo; set and setting is everything. There is so much preparation that needs to go into an ayahuasca ceremony and under the right circumstances, it will answer many questions. A big one being why you drink. Paul shares how ayahuasca still impacts his everyday life. While Paul found plant medicine helpful on his journey, he recognizes it’s not for everyone, nor does he think everyone should try plant medicine. If you are interested, please do your own research before trying it. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:59] Paul introduces Chris: Chris lives in Austin Texas; he is married with two children aged 8 and 9. He is an entrepreneur and enjoys being creative through many avenues. Chris always felt like an outsider that didn’t belong while he was gr
Mon, October 30, 2023
RE 454: How Do I Do More In My Recovery Community?
Episode 454 – How Can I Do More In My Recovery Community? Today we have Kristan. She is 60 years old and lives in Delaware. She took her last drink on June 3rd, 2019. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [01:34] Highlights from Kris: Today we are continuing the Q & A series and it’s a two for one. First question, Dale wants to know “How can I do more in my recovery community?” Some traditional responses to this question might AA, or any other group with the word recovery in it. These are great, but Kris shares that we can expand our view to other groups. Church groups, book club, a running club, or a workout group. Sharing can be a great way to get involved within a recovery community. Hearing others share and be vulnerable encourages us to share and be vulnerable too. By being open, you are being of service in your recovery. You never know who you may be helping with your share. Think of the things that you bring to the table, and what you’d like to see your community offer. It could be as simple as organizing an outing to have a meal with other local members or hosting a chat in your online community. Listen to your heart. If you feel that tug to do something, be obedient to that. We have no idea how it could impact our lives, or the lives of other people. Athletic Greens: https://www.athleticgreens.com/recovery [09:25]: Kris introduces Kristan: Kristan is married and has adult kids, she enjoys traveling, participating in triathlons, and hanging out with her sober friends doing fun activities. Kristan grew up in Louisiana and started drinking when she was 12 and partied throughout high school. She graduated from college and moved to Australia for a few years. She moved to DC when she came back and worked as a reporter while enjoying the nightlife. Kristan says that in her profession, drinking was very common, and she surrounded herself with people that drank a lot. Later when she bought a house in Delaware, her and her husband split
Mon, October 23, 2023
RE 453: How Would You Describe a “Spiritual Experience” in Recovery?
Episode 453 - How Would You Describe a “Spiritual Experience” in Recovery? Today we have Andy. He is 46 from Washington, DC and took his last drink on August 12th, 2023. If you are struggling to quit drinking alone, check out the private community Café RE . Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee! Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:17] Highlights from Paul: Today’s question is from Liz in the Café RE OG group: “How Would You Describe a “Spiritual Experience” in Recovery? Was it a Bill W. “White Light” or a long series of little twinkles? Somewhere in between? Something else altogether?” We all know there is no right or wrong way to quit drinking, but Paul believes the spirituality component is important, because it connects or reconnects you to the universe or a god of your understanding. For many, a large twinkle of spirituality took place took place near the date of their last drink. Some call this a window of clarity. I’ve heard it been described as “I just knew it was going to be different this time.” Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung called them synchronicities or the breadcrumbs of life. Everyone’s version of spiritual awakening will be different. We just need to be open to the twinkles that can happen all around us. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:53]: Paul introduces Andy: Andy took his last drink less than a week before the time of this recording. Andy has moved around a bit while being in the military but currently lives in DC. He is an officer in the Air Force and has been serving for 26 years. He is married and has four kids. He enjoys ultra marathons, gardening, and traveling with his family. Andy grew up around a lot of drinking in the small town he lived in. There was always beer in the house, and he feels it was ingrained in his life. He had his first drink in 8th grade. It was on a grueling camping trip when one of the adults handed him a bottle of booze and told him it would take the edge off. He really enjoyed the feelings he got from it. Andy did wel
Mon, October 16, 2023
RE 452: How Do You Stop Comparing Yourself to Others in Recovery?
Episode 452 - How Do You Stop Comparing Yourself to Others in Recovery? Today we have Emilee. She is 33 from Double Springs, AL and has been alcohol free since February 26th, 2023. We are in the process of building some incredible events for the upcoming year, to new locations, and types of retreats we have never done before. Our flagship annual retreat in Bozeman, Montana in August, then we are working on an AF travel trip in October 2024 with possible destinations being India, Vietnam, or the Camino de Santiago in Spain. But even before those events, we are working on Two retreats in Guanacaste, Costa Rica. Keep an eye out for more info: Recovery Elevator events . Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:55] Highlights from Paul: Today’s question is from Dale: How do I stop comparing myself to others in Recovery? This is a BIG PICTURE question. An issue that probably didn’t arise when you quit drinking. I’m guessing this is something you have been doing for quite some time. Part of this is healthy. You’ll want to model your sobriety after someone who seems to have done the work, or who has what you want. You’ll want to compare parts of your journey with theirs… But the key is not to have it consume you. Paul shares his thoughts on this topic and reminds us that comparison is all part of the human condition and to know that when one person blooms, we all receive the benefit. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:30]: Kris introduces Emilee: Emilee is 33 from Double Springs, AL. She is married and they have one daughter together. For work, she is a high school algebra teacher and for fun she enjoys doing outdoor activities including hunting and fishing and she also enjoys playing the piano, working out and cooking. While growing up, Emilee didn’t have much exposure to alcohol. She says she was always shy growing up and it wasn’t until she was 19 that a boyfriend introduced her to a group of friends that drank a lot. In that environment, she discovered a different version of herself that was much more outgoing. This went on for a few months,
Mon, October 09, 2023
RE 451: What to Say to Someone Who is About to Drink
Episode 451 – What to Say to Someone Who is About to Drink Today we have Grant. He is 54 from Sacramento, CA and took his last drink on August 10th, 2020. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:16] Highlights from Paul: We are five weeks into our Q & A series. This week’s question comes from Sarah C. “What can you say to someone, so they don’t drink?” Or how to help someone not drink. Paul gives us some tried and true methods that work and strategies that the Recovery Elevator team believe in. Here are a few suggestions that Paul shares with us: Tough love does not work, so a tone or stance of unconditional love needs to be present when confronting a friend who is about to drink. Quick note about boundaries. Talking with people that are drunk can be triggering, and little can be done. Ask them to call you in the morning or when they are sober. Being there with your presence, whether it is in person, via the phone or FaceTime, or Zoom, is the best thing you can do to help them. Holding space provides a safe container for the person to feel the feels, sit front and center with a craving and not feel judged or criticized. You can also ask them about their “why”. Having them be clear on their “why” again is never a bad idea. You can also remind them that alcohol has been ruined. Drinking while knowing that alcohol no longer has a place in your life isn’t fun. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:48]: Paul introduces Grant: Grant is 54 and lives in Sacramento, CA. He is married and they have two young adult kids. He enjoys hiking and the area he lives in has a lot of nice places he explores. Grant works in research and public policy work in California and now focuses on addiction and recovery. Grant says his first experience with alcohol was when he was 12. A friend had procured a bottle of brandy and they both ended up drinking to the point of going to the hospital. He drank through junior high and high school with a group of friends on weekends. The drinking continued in college, and he started trying other substances as well. Grant says there weren’t many consequences.
Mon, October 02, 2023
RE 450: What are Alcohol Withdrawals Like in the First Week?
Episode 450 – What are Alcohol Withdrawals Like in the First Week? Today we have Sarah. She is 46 and lives in Buckhannon, WV. Sarah has been alcohol free since December 15, 2022. Our latest Ditching The Booze course begins tonight at 7:30pm EDT/4:30pm PDT and it is not too late to register. The 5-week course is called Writing a New Narrative and is designed to help you explore your sobriety story through journaling and writing prompts and it is free for Café RE members. Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:23] Highlights from Paul: We are four weeks into our ten-episode Q & A series and today’s question is “what are alcohol withdrawals like in the first week?” This question as asked by Robyn in Café RE Blue. The answer to this is going to depend on how much you drink on a daily or nightly basis and it’s not a one size fits all answer. I highly recommend detoxing under medical supervised care if you consume more than 6-8 drinks daily and have been doing so for several months or years. Quitting cold turkey can be life threatening. 72 hours is the magic number. Once you hit this number, the worst of the physical components are behind you. Paul shares some tips for navigating the first week and shares some of the changes our bodies go through. The whole withdrawal process from one week to several months has a term called PAWS or post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Check out the YouTube video Paul did about this. Thank you, Robyn, for the question, if you want a question answered on the podcast, send your questions to info@recoveryelevator.com . Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [13:41]: Kris introduces Sarah: Sarah currently lives in West Virginia, works in higher learning, and has two daughters and three stepchildren. For fun Sarah enjoys arts and crafts, DIY things, and enjoys plants. In high school, Sara
Mon, September 25, 2023
RE 449: How to Make it Through Your First Sober Concert?
Episode 449 - How to Make it Through Your First Sober Concert? Today we have Santino. He is 35 from Taunton, MA and took his last drink on May 24th, 2022. Our latest Ditching the Booze course begins Monday October 2nd at 7:30pm EDT/4:30pm PDT and is free to Café RE members. The 5-week course is called Writing a New Narrative and is designed to help you explore your sobriety story through journaling and writing prompts. Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. We have partnered with Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [03:05] Highlights from Paul: Today’s question comes from Kelly in our Café RE Up Group. The question is “how do you make it through your first sober concert?” The first of eight fantastic tips include giving yourself a little alcohol-free time before going to a concert. Once you’ve got some time under your belt, and the cravings are in check, then you can hit the green light on concerts. Regardless of how many days you have, if you are feeling squirrely the dray of the concert then sit it out. Sobriety is the priority. Paul then shares several tips to include: - Always have a non-alcoholic beverage in hand. - Do not volunteer to be the DD. - Make sure everyone you are attending with knows your intentions. Some of the best parts about sober concerts? You will remember it. You will save money. You won’t get a DUI on the drive home. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:14]: Paul introduces Santino: Santino is a repeat guest and has maintained his sobriety since his last appearance on episode 397 where he was on day 43. Santin
Mon, September 18, 2023
RE 448: How Do I Let Go and Stop Trying to Control
Episode 448 - How Do I Let Go and Stop Trying to Control Today we have Jen. She is 48 from Boulder, CO and took her last drink on May 12th, 2021. Our latest Ditching The Booze course begins Monday October 2nd at 7:30pm EDT/4:30pm PDT and is free to Café RE members. The 5-week course is called Writing a New Narrative and is designed to help you explore your sobriety story through journaling and writing prompts. Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. We have partnered with Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [02:48] Highlights from Kris: Today’s question comes from Dale in Virginia. He wants to know “how do I learn to let go of things, and stop trying to control?” Kris feels that two themes that come up over and over in recovery are surrender and acceptance . He says there are different types of control and while some of it is normal and can be healthy, trying to control things such as other people and how they feel about us is not healthy. Kris shares his insights about this topic and shares with us: “when I have unrest on the inside, it presents itself on the outside. When I find that inner peace, I can extend it to the world around me”. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:50]: Kris welcomes Jen: Jen joins us from Boulder, CO area and recently celebrated two years alcohol free. She is married and they have two kids and a dog. For fun Jen likes to be active outdoors and spending time with recovery friends nearby, fabric arts and yoga. Jen didn’t drink when she was young because she learned that some family members quit drinking because they couldn’t control it. She drank very casually because she didn’t want to develop a problem, but over time peer pressure found her drinking more frequently. In grad school there was more binge drinking and hangovers. She and her husband drank only socially prior to having kids. Jen went back to work shortly after having her first child and realized that she was missing out on a lot, so she became a
Mon, September 11, 2023
RE 447: Can You Be Addicted to Alcohol and Not Be An Alcoholic?
Episode 447 – Can You Be Addicted to Alcohol and Not Be An Alcoholic? Today we have Stephanie. She is 35 from and took her last drink on December 31st, 2022. Our latest Ditching The Booze course begins Monday October 2nd at 7:30pm EDT/4:30pm PDT and is free to Café RE members. The 5-week course is called Writing a New Narrative and is designed to help you explore your sobriety story through journaling and writing prompts. If you are not yet a member and would like to joining click the link Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. We have partnered with Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [02:43] Highlights from Paul: Paul and Kris are going to be doing a ten-part intro series where we answer questions from listeners. If you have a question that you’d like us to answer on the air, send them to info@recoveryelevator.com . Paul shares one of his biggest regrets since starting the podcast and also answers the first question from Brady in South Denver. He asked, “can you be addicted to alcohol and not be an alcoholic?” Paul begins his answer with “The Answer is yes. And no. And a little bit of yes, and little bit of No. Welcome to a world full of paradoxes.” Next week we will hear Kris answer the next question: “How do I learn to let go of things and stop trying to control?”. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [09:23]: Paul introduces Stephanie: Stephanie is 35 and she is from Connecticut, currently living in Washington State. She works as an accountant and as a server at a restaurant. She has one son and a dog. Stephanie enjoys reading both for fun and for a podcast she has: So, What Are You Reading?, and she has recently picked up paddleboarding. Stephanie had her first drink when she was 16 and had a bad experience and said she wasn’t going to do it again. She drank very sporadically until she moved to Washington wit
Mon, September 04, 2023
RE 446: Go Easy on Yourself
Episode 446 – Go Easy on Yourself Today we have Jonathan. He is 44 from Grand Forks, ND and took his last drink on May 17th, 2008. Our six week Ditching the Booze mindfulness course starts Monday, September 18th and meets on Monday nights at 8:30 PM EST. This course is included with Café RE membership and is for Café RE members only. Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. We have partnered with Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [02:24] Highlights from Paul: Straying from the sometimes-complex intros, Paul urges us to go easy on ourselves. Despite all of our agricultural, scientific, and technological innovations, this is the hardest time it has ever been to be a human being. Rates of addiction and overdoses are soaring. Dr. Gabor Mate’s book The Myth of Normal shows how our out of balance culture is creating mountains of unrest and disease. Life is already a challenge and living in the modern world without substances to slow down the prefrontal cortex, it is even harder. Go easy on yourself. Life is going to kick your ass at some time or another. Don’t let that Bruno voice in the head make it any worse. Once that voice starts chirping about how you should have done XYZ differently, and how you’re doomed for eternity, locate the true you and tell that Bruno voice to step aside, and you’ll take it from here. Be sure to start your day with words of compassion. Compassion for you, those nearest to you, the animals outside your window, and for those who are still struggling with alcohol. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [8:11]: Kris introduces Jonathan: Jonathan is 44 years old and lives in Grand Forks, ND. He has worked in the restaurant industry most of his life and is also the managing director for the office of Recovery Reinvented. For fun Jonathan likes to spend time outside and cook. He is married and they have three daughters. Jonathan says he h
Mon, August 28, 2023
RE 445: Keep on Dancing
Episode 445 – Keep Dancing Today we have Cindy. She is 54 from Kure Beach, NC and took her last drink on March 2nd, 2023. We are doing an East Coast Café RE meet-up tour ! NYC on Wednesday August 30th, Philadelphia Saturday September 2nd, and DC on Tuesday September 5th. For questions about the event please email info@recoveryelevator.com This is a reminder of the suicide prevention hotline 988, which was launched one year ago. This number has fielded 5 million calls, texts, and chats in the past year alone and has saved countless lives. We have partnered with Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [03:23] Highlights from Paul: After recently watching a social media video featuring a sober influencer dancing, Paul decided to challenge this individual to a breakdancing battle. Meanwhile another sober influencer viewing this video stated that watching this video made him want to drink. Let’s zoom out for a second. The Tik Tok user, with millions of followers, said that watching videos of this person dancing - made them want to drink. To summarize that in two words it would be: Stop Dancing. Then we have Paul who challenges this person to a sober break dance battle. We can summarize this statement in two words: Keep dancing. So, listeners, keep on dancing, and never stop. If you don’t know your metaphorical or literal dance steps, stick around. The knowledge will return. If someone tells you that your dancing makes them want to drink, then that is 100% their problem. When you dance, it gives others permission to dance. You don’t need alcohol, it won’t make you better, and you’ll remember all of it. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [08:52] Paul introduces Cindy: Cindy is 54, grew up in Maryland but currently lives in North Carolina. She has been married for 23 years and they have two children and a dog. She works as an operating room nurse and recently got a master’s degree. Cindy recalls first having
Mon, August 21, 2023
RE 444: Alcohol Consumption by State
Episode 444 – Alcohol Consumption by State Today we have Chad. He is 51 from Southern Indiana and took his last drink on March 25th, 2022. Follow Recovery Elevator on Instagram! We’re starting to put more video content on the platform so check it out! Join us Saturday August 26th in Boston, MA for a day of service in collaboration with The Phoenix . Learn more about the event here . We have partnered with Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [02:47] Highlights from Paul: Something heard often while interviewing guests is “you don’t know what it’s like to grow up in Wisconsin, Texas, in Las Vegas, in Trenton, New Jersey, or you don’t know how much we drink in…” fill in the blank. So yes, it is ubiquitous, but there is a front runner. Check out the full list and see where your state ranks: Alcohol Consumption by State In 2012 British researcher Dr. David Nutt was tasked by the government to put harm scores on 20 of the world’s most harmful drug. Alcohol came in at #1 beating out crack, heroin, meth and cocaine. Paul shares some stats about the costs of alcohol use disorder in Montana. You can see stats for all of the US here: Alcohol Abuse Statistics Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:48] Kris introduces Chad: Chad has been sober for a little over 15 months at the time of this recording. He is 51 and lives in a small town in Indiana. Chad is married, and they have three children. He works for the government. He enjoys talking recovery, umpiring softball, and cycling. Chad’s parents divorced when he was young. He never felt like he fit in at either of his parents’ homes and was a people pleaser doing whatever he could to fit in. Chad moved in with his dad when he was 13. After an ankle injury he was sidelined from sports, and he ended up finding a new group of friends that dabbled i
Mon, August 14, 2023
RE 443: A Different Type of Alcoholic
Episode 443 - A Different Type of Alcoholic Today we have Kelly, she is 46 from Minneapolis, MN and took her last drink on June 18th, 2023. Join us Saturday August 26th in Boston, MA for a day of service in collaboration with The Phoenix . Learn more about the event here . Check out our sponsor Go Brewing . Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [02:57] Highlights from Paul: When saying the word “alcoholic”, these images, and thoughts commonly come to mind: Living under a Bridge. Brown paper bag. Homeless. Hopeless. Unemployed. Some of this is accurate but studies show only 5% of alcoholics fit these descriptions. The other 95% are high functioning, tend to be high earners, more educated, are healthier and have more stable relationships than average. With the estimated 452 million alcoholics that don’t fit the stereotypical description of an alcoholic, this takes the saying you are not alone to a new level. We justify or benchmark our drinking according to what an alcoholic looks like. I’m not that bad, I have a job, and money in the bank. We surround ourselves with other drinkers who don’t fit the alcoholic stereotype to solidify our own positions on the addiction scale. Now a classic trait of an addiction is that we are blind to where we actually are with the addiction process. The hole you find yourself in is probably deeper than you think. My recommendation is to stop digging. You CAN put the shovel down. Another classic trait of an addiction is the progression. We have 452 million alcoholics on the globe who are not living under a bridge or drinking out of brown paper bag yet. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [09:30] Paul introduces Kelly: Kelly took her last drink on June 18th, 2023, and has 6 days at the time of this recording. She is 46 and lives in Minneapolis. She leads software development teams for a living. Kelly loves the outdoors and enjoys running, hiking, and paddleboarding. She enjoys movies, music, and museums as well. Kelly first tried alcohol at a party in 9th gra
Mon, August 07, 2023
RE 442: Time to Breathe
Episode 442 – Time to Breathe Today we have Jeff, he is 35 from Salt Lake City, UT and had his last drink on April 6th, 2023. Shout out to the Café RE chat hosts. Thank you for continuing to hold space for our community and for creating an environment where we can come together and heal. Go Brewing . Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [03:46] Highlights from Kris: Kris finds sober anniversaries a good opportunity to reflect on where he was and where he is today. He asks himself questions such as “What have I gone through? How have I been able to meet the challenges placed in front of me? Am I moving in the direction I want to in my life?” In active addiction Kris was not able to show love to himself. He knew that the things he was doing were hurting other people and himself. He knew his wife, kids, parents, and friends all loved him, but he couldn’t let the love in. He was stuck in the loop of “I’m not enough, I’ve screwed up too much, I deserve to feel this way.” If you’re listening, and you’re there today, know that you are not alone. Many of us have been there and know how hard it is. We don’t have to be perfect RE… that’s never going to happen. All we have to be is willing. We have to be willing to be honest with where we are today. Without judgement, where are things in our life right now? What is the next right thing to step into our new future? Where can we find support? Don’t worry about trying to resolve every issue in your life all at once. Just take little bites. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [09:40] Kris introduces Jeff: At the time of recording, Jeff is celebrating 90 days of sobriety and plans to celebrate with cacao. He is 35 and lives in Salt Lake City with his wife and two dogs. For fun Jeff enjoys mountain biking, skiing, running, and music is a big part of his life. Growing up, alcohol was always present at celebrations hosted by his parents and their friends. It was normal for him to see people drink to excess. Jeff’s first drink was when he was 16 with some friends and stolen rum. Early on he recognized that his drinking was different than other people’s. On the outside, he was successful at school but was suffering from depression that al
Mon, July 31, 2023
RE 441: Connection With a Molecule
Episode 441 – Connection With a Molecule Today we have Shane, he is 39 from Birmingham, AL and took his last drink on December 25th, 2021. [00:58] Highlights from Paul: Many of us share the same response to our first drink. It’s a firework show internally that connects the missing dots. We finally feel connected. Alcohol becomes our best friend. Now do not beat yourself up if you find yourself in a tightly intertwined relationship with alcohol. Humans are pack animals and need connection to survive. We need partnership. As addiction guru Dr. Gabor Mate would say, congratulations, you found alcohol, you found a way to survive. Yes, there is the disease model, but there’s also the unease model. A deep unrest or lack of connection with others and ourselves. How do we fix this? Like we learned in last week’s episode, it’s robust social connections that fix this. Some of us have difficulty making deep connections with other human beings but connection with nonhuman souls can help us quit drinking too. Animals help us release oxytocin and serotonin; they help our nervous systems relax. Studies show plants and trees can do the same thing. To summarize, we connected with a molecule. Which ended up being the most dangerous and addictive molecule thus far recorded, and there is plenty of data to back that up. So, what’s next? Start building connections with other people, places, and things, like your life depends on it. Because it does. We have a new sponsor! Check out Go Brewing . Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off. [08:12] Paul introduces Shane: Shane is 39 years old, currently lives outside of Birmingham, AL. He is married with two children. He works in the heavy truck parts industry. He has been playing guitar since he was 15. Shane had no interest in drinking prior to trying it on a beach trip with friends when he was 20. Shane was surround by alcohol while working as a musician and in the service industry. He found that alcohol made it easier for him to talk to and socialize with people. He first recognized that he might have a problem when he realized he was starting to rely on alcohol to alleviate any stress he was having. He met his wife while they were working on a music album together. Shane started having increasing anxiety and his drinking issues were becoming more apparent to those around him. He was given an
Mon, July 24, 2023
RE 440: How to Undo Trauma
Episode 440 - How to Undo Trauma Today we have Kathy. She is 31 from Dillworth, MN and has been clean since June 13th, 2016. Thank you to all of the Café RE chat hosts. You all do a great job! We have an exciting new sponsor for the podcast! Go Brewing has an amazing lineup of NA beers. Use the code ELEVATOR for 15% off your order. [02:06] Highlights from Paul: Before we get started, how is your summer going? How is sobriety going? How is your AF clock going? How is your life going? Regardless of your answer to all those questions, Paul reminds us that we are not alone. Recovery Elevator is right here with you every step of the way. A recent study of baboons revealed that establishing robust social connections in adulthood, is so beneficial to the animals that it can mitigate the consequences of traumatic experiences during their early years. There’s that word again. Connection. In addition, researchers have found that once these connections are made, the baboons report living longer lives. We have learned, are learning - that building connections helps us depart from alcohol. When we first enter an actual relationship with the molecule alcohol. It’s a wonderful courtship, but we soon realize that alcohol gave us wings, and then took away the sky. We must replace the connection we had with alcohol with something else. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [09:39] Kris introduces Kathy: Kathy just celebrated 7 years of recovery. She lives in Dillworth, MN, she works in care coordination with the F5 Project and has five children ranging from 5 to 18. For fun she hangs out with recovery friends while doing a variety of activities. Kathy’s parents were both addicts and she was in the foster care system early in life. She would spend her childhood moving in and out of foster homes. When she was 12 she ended up living with her brothers and stepfather because her mother went to jail. Kathy wanted to be like her older brothers and started drinking to have a good time. It didn’t take long for her drinking and dru
Mon, July 17, 2023
RE 439: Developing a Spiritual Practice
Episode 439 – Developing a Spiritual Practice Today we have Liz, she’s 38 from LaVale, MD and took her last drink on December 31st, 2022. Thank you to the Café RE chat host, you all do an incredible job! Athletic Greens [02:22] Highlights from Paul: This is not a religious podcast. Paul feels that religion and spirituality are not two sides of the same coin. When we drink alcohol, spiritually, our electrical current to the universe is severed. In fact, in many cultures, the name alcohol literally means, soul sucking spirit. Then mentally, the chemical alcohol turns our brains into tepid soup. After that, we have the physical component - pancreatitis and liver failure come to mind. What is spirituality? What is a spiritual practice? We are connecting with the self. We are connecting within. You become more ocean and less wave. In short, spirituality is connection with the self, which then leads to a connection with nature, the universe, a higher power, and some may call it God. Why do we drink? Why did we drink? To get this sense of connection. Paul shares many examples of spiritual practices and reminds us that we don’t have to wait for the normal order of healing in order to implement some these. We can start right now. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:03] Paul introduces Liz: Liz is from a small-town Maryland. She is married with two kids; she is a registered nurse and attending school as she is working toward her master’s degree. She enjoys spending time outdoors: kayaking, hiking, camping, being a soccer mom. Liz grew up in a tightknit family and was the youngest of three sisters. She first tried alcohol with a cousin when she was in 6th grade. She didn’t really enjoy it and thought it tasted terrible. She wasn’t a big drinker in high school, just the occasional party. She drank like everyone else during college and worked in the service industry. It was normal for her to be the last person drinking at parties
Mon, July 10, 2023
RE 438: Expectations
Episode 438 – Expectations Today we have something different lined up. Instead of one interviewee, we’ve got a panel of sober rockstars who have been kicking ass and taking names in this field for a while now. You’re going to love it. Recovery Elevator welcomes our newest sponsor, Athletic Greens . [02:33] Highlights from Paul: We are full of expectations. Both for ourselves and other people. Top of that list is we expect happiness in a world where nothing is guaranteed. We have been conditioned throughout our life that any discomfort represents failure, and a certain product, drink or pill will end the suffering. How do we let expectations go? It’s impossible. All you can do is become aware you are expecting something different for yourself or other people. Another reason why expectations are dangerous is it throws gratitude right out of the window. We also expect the earth to keep providing the natural resources needed for our survival, which are never guaranteed. We definitely need to approach sunshine, fresh drinking water, clean air, and shelter from a stance of gratitude opposed to expecting them to be delivered to us because we deserve them. More on that next week. “The days in which my gratitude exceeds my expectations are really good days” – Ray Wylie Hubbard. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:54] The interviewees introduce themselves: Laura Cathcart Robbins, the host of “The Only One in the Room” podcast and author of the book Stash: My Life in Hiding . Eric Zimmer, the hose of “The One You Feed” podcast and creator of a program called Spiritual Habits. Paul Churchill, the host of “Recovery Elevator” podcast (who we all know and love). <p style= "margin: 0in; background: white; vertical-a
Mon, July 03, 2023
RE 437: Inner Conflict
Episode 437 – Inner Conflict Today we have Mark who is 45 from Connecticut and took his last drank on January 15, 2023. Thank you to all of the Café RE chat hosts. You all do a great job! We have partnered with Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [01:55] Highlights from Paul: It is impossible to avoid conflict in a human life. All attempts to avoid it, will only result in more conflict. It built into the human experience. After all, we are reconciling the Yin to our Yang on a daily basis. Somedays the dark side says take a seat, and the next day, we welcome the light. Addictions take hold when is there is intense inner conflict. When parts of our personalities are out of balance. Or when parts of us are screaming for attention because we are in pain. In addition, this inner imbalance is a representation that the whole of society is out of balance causing many of us to question “what the hell is going on?”. Your individual unrest is not separate from the whole. And how do we solve the “what the hell is going on” question? We do the inner work. We face this inner conflict. We learn from it. We recognize what the addiction is trying to force us to do. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:39] Kris introduces Mark: Mark is 45, lives in Connecticut has five months alcohol free at the time of this recording. He is married and has two dogs and a cat. He works in marketing and customer experience. For fun Mark loves to hike, ski and garden. Alcohol has been part of Mark’s life for as long as he can remember. At a very young age his dad gave him a sip of his beer and Mark liked it. Mark didn’t drink much until his senior year of high school when he came out as gay. He and his brother would go to the local bar on the weekends in an effort to connect with others like them. Mark’s drinking progressed throughout college, but he had the “work hard, play hard” mentality and tried to limit his drinking to the weekends while being productive during the week. This continued through the beginning of his career. At many of his work events, it was seen as abnormal to drink more than tw
Mon, June 26, 2023
RE 436: Our Road Ahead
Episode 436 – Our Road Ahead Today we have Lacey. She’s 34 from Illinois and has been sober since May 15, 2020. Recovery Elevator welcomes our newest sponsor, Athletic Greens . [02:16] Highlights from Kris: We feel it is important to use these first few episodes of Season Five to set a foundation for the upcoming year. Kris shares the RE mission statement and talks about what each of the six key themes means to him. To recap, our mission statement: we offer hope through community and connection. Partnering sobriety seeking individuals with other likeminded people. Over and over and over again, you’re going to hear us, and our guests, talk about the importance of connection. It’s not because it’s the only thing we know how to talk about; but simply because it’s THAT IMPORTANT. Recovery Elevator’s Six Themes: 1) We are inclusive 2) There is no right or wrong way to do this 3) Connection 4) Don’t just quit drinking 5) We need to remain open 6) We must pass along what we learn to others Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [09:30] Kris introduces Lacey: Lacey is 34 and lives in Illinois. She is an instructional designer. She is married and has two cats. Lacey loves walking, camping, cooking, and doing crafts. She is part of a community theater and enjoys volunteering at the local animal shelter. Lacey was young when her parents quit drinking, so alcohol was never around. S
Mon, June 19, 2023
RE 435: What We Believe In
Episode 434 – Season 5 – What We Believe In Today we have Alex, he is 35, from Lincoln, NE and took his last drink on January 20, 2023 Recovery Elevator welcomes our newest sponsor, Athletic Greens . [03:35] Highlights from Paul: Welcome to Season 5! Episode 1 of this podcast dropped on February 25th, 2015. Paul recalls the date and how he felt. He was worried he was going to crash and burn. But 10,000,000 downloads later, he still hasn’t had a drink and the podcast is still going. Paul discusses the plan for Season 5, what RE’s concepts and values are, the podcast schedule and more. Mission Statement of Recovery Elevator is as follows: "We offer hope through community and connection. Partnering sobriety seeking individuals with other likeminded people!” Six themes Paul and Kris will be focusing on this season: 1) Recovery Elevator is inclusive 2) There is no right or wrong way to do this 3) Connection 4) Don’t just quit drinking 5) We cannot fight an addiction 6) We must pass along what we’ve learned to others Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:49] Paul introduces Alex: Alex is 35 and lives in Lincoln, NE. He is married with three kids. He stays busy with his family, enjoys landscaping at their new home and works in the financial industry. Alex first tried alcohol in his senior year of high school. He initially did not drink with his
Mon, June 12, 2023
RE 434: Don't Lose Yourself In It
Episode 434 – Don’t Lose Yourself in It Today we have Gary, he is 44, from Toledo, OH and took his last drink on January 30, 2023 Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [01:42] Thoughts from Paul: Today we are going to cover one of Paul’s favorite tools and practice. But before we cover it, he asks us who is our go to person that we look to when life starts to veer into the ditch? Who has already provided guidance or a teaching on what to do in the situation you find yourself in? For Paul, it is Eckhart Tolle. His books The Power of Now and A New Earth were recommended to him at just the right time. The tool and concept Paul wants to cover is a line he discovered in A New Earth that says, “don’t lose yourself in it”. This refers to the thinking mind, or the ego. Another book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer shares the concept that you are not the thoughts in your mind, but you are the one who experiences them. The point is don’t lose yourself in the incessant stream of thoughts coming from the thinking mind. Make a point each day to STOP what you are doing and take a deep breath. This practice doesn’t have to take long, but there may not be enough consciousness at first to split from the thoughts in the head. The point is to create as many daily gaps in your thinking as possible. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [09:25] Kris introduces Gary: Gary took his last drink on January 31st, 2023. He is 44 and lives in Toledo, OH. Professionally Gary is a medical assistant for primarily homebound patients. He enjoys reading, has recently started fishing and likes to try new things in sobriety. Gary’s first experience with alcohol was in his early teen years. He and his cousin crashed a wedding with an open bar where they served him beer. He thought it was disgusting but kept drinking and blacked out the first time. Gary didn’t drink in high school. He graduated and met his future wife who was going to the army. He joined as well and was in Germany when he started drinking regularly. Drinking helped with his insecurities, and he was always searching for validation. After his wife cheated on him, life was tough for G
Mon, June 05, 2023
RE 433: The Comfort Crisis
Episode 433 – The Comfort Crisis Today we have Daniel, he is 43 from Orange County, he took his last drink on December 31st, 2014. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [01:42] Thoughts from Paul: The discomforts of quitting drinking will make you a stronger person down the road. And not far down the road. Although humans are hardwired to seek comfort, it’s not necessarily good for us. Many anthropologists have speculated that we were happier thousands of years ago. Our needs were simpler and easier to satisfy. We were naturally mindful, living in the moment. In addition, our ancestors usually found themselves in tight communities of around 150 people, where everyone shared the burden of survival. There was a deeper sense of belonging. The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter The rates of mental health, addiction, inflammations, cancers, are sky rocketing, and the author of the book says the reason for this is because we are living progressively sheltered, sterile, temperature controlled, over-fed, under challenged, safety netted lives. Key takeaway? Get uncomfortable. It’s good for you. And spending significant time in nature will make you happier. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [09:01] Paul introduces Daniel: Daniel had his last drink on New Year’s Eve of 2014. He lives in Southern California; he’s married with three children. He owns a few businesses and works in education. For fun Daniel likes to play tennis, work in his yard and enjoys Wim Hof breathwork. Daniel enjoys getting out of his comfort zone and trying new things frequently. At age 16 Daniel had his first drink and instantly felt the pull. He didn’t start using it habitually until he was in college, and it helped with his social anxiety and gave him confidence. He says the red flags came early and often but he didn’t have a classic rock bottom moment. He feels he was very high functioning – did well in school and had a job. His drinking didn’t change after he left college. He began questioning his drinking about four years prior to quitting because he had learned he and his wife were about to have a child. For a long time,
Mon, May 29, 2023
RE 432: Is Alcohol Good for You?
Episode 432 – Is Alcohol Good For You? Today we have Julie, she is 49, from Grand Junction, CO and took her last drink on February 6th, 2022. Café RE members, we have added a fitness class to the schedule. Sundays at 12:30 EST, thank you Paul L. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:05] Thoughts from Paul: For most of the 20th century and well into the 2000’s, there was a pushed narrative that said a daily drink or two is good for you. Although there was a time that fermented drinks were safer than consuming the local water due to disease, it’s safe to say we are well past those days from the dark ages. Despite that, the concept that alcohol is good for you is still in popular circulation, but a new narrative is coming out. An article from Health Day released this year is titled Drinking Alcohol Brings No Health Benefits, Study Finds Huberman Lab podcast: What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health You’re giving up alcohol, which turns out is NOT good for you anyways, for a life that contains the possibilities of nearly everything. Sobriety can be hard, and sometimes we need a sweeping statement to put it into perspective. You’re giving up one thing for everything. You can do this. I know you can. Cafe RE Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee [10:34] Kris introduces Julie: Julie lives in Grand Junction, CO. She is a nurse practitioner soon to be working at an addiction center. She has two grown daughters and her parents and brother live nearby. She is single and for fun she enjoys yoga, and she plays the ukulele and the flute. Julie feels she was born into addiction. Her parents were both alcoholics and a lot of her family members have struggled with addiction as well. Her mother left when she was very young, and her family moved a lot due to her father’s instability. Julie first tried alcohol when she was 12 at a barbecue at her mom’s house. She and some friends stole some alcohol and went
Mon, May 22, 2023
RE 431: Transformation
Episode 431 – Transformation Today we have Katy, she is 40, from Olympia, WA and took her last drink on February 12th, 2023. Join Recovery Elevator this Sunday for a fun conference style meet up at the Marriott in Alpharetta. This event is all about getting your connect on and it will be a fun time. Spouses or loved ones are encouraged to attend and you can even stick around afterwards for some silent disco. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:26] Thoughts from Paul: One of the best parts of doing the Recovery Elevator podcast is seeing the transformations people make. Many of the travelers on this year’s Costa Rica trip also traveled last year. With every single repeat traveler, Paul could see the growth almost immediately. There are many different reasons for the transformations, but it is always visible in the smile. Paul wants to make a correction from a previous episode where he said that Goat Yoga was a horrible idea. Incorporating animals in our healing can be a great thing. One reason for this is the nervous systems of animals are much more intact, and with entrainment theory in biology, our nervous systems can heal while being around animals. Also, goats are hilarious. They are all about having fun and if you come near enough to them, they will make you part of the fun. In the interview with Katy, Paul references a previous episode covering Natlrexone. That is episode 164 if you wish to go back and listen. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [08:06] Paul introduces Katy: Katy is 40 years old and took her last drink on February 12, 2023. She is from Olympia WA, married and they have two kids and a dog. Katy works in elementary education and for fun she likes to hike, read and listen to podcasts. Katy first started drinking at a young age, but it wasn’t until she was in her late teens that she started having consequences like hangovers and blackouts. She went on to a college that had a reputation for being a party school and she fell right into the scene. Katy feels her twenties were stolen by an abusive relationship where the focus was on a party lifestyle. She had started dri
Mon, May 15, 2023
RE 430: Walking Into Summer
Episode 430 – Walking Into Summer Today we have Joss, she’s 34 from the Bay Area and took her last drink on December 21st, 2022. We still have room in our upcoming flagship retreat which takes place August 9th through the 13th in Bozeman, Montana. This event is all about having fun, connecting, and learning the tools needed to be successful on your Alcohol-Free journey. You can find more information here ! [02:21] Thoughts from Kris: Spring has finally arrived in North Dakota! With the changing seasons, it’s not uncommon to experience some different emotions surrounding our recovery. More outdoor social activities and parties can bring some unique challenges. We sometimes worry what others might think about us and our choice not to drink. The phrasing “I care what people think of me” makes me feel a bit middle-schoolish, but humans long for connection and community. We are not really fearing the event so much as fearing that we don’t belong. Creating accountability with people we trust can help us navigate these times, and sometimes just passing on the event may be what we need to do for the time being. Stay tuned for more tips gathered from our members at Café RE after the interview! Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [09:45] Kris introduces Joss: Joss is 34 and lives in the Bay Area. She has two cats, is a hairstylist and enjoys running. She recently celebrated three months alcohol free. Joss grew up in a very strict and sheltered Christian household. Her parents were very active in the church, and they spent a lot of time there and went to a private school. Joss first tried alcohol when she was 14 and her drinking increased a lot in high school. She battled with depression and never felt validated by her family, and they just pushed her toward God and church without giving her much opportunity to explore anything else. She jumped around schools a few times due to suspensions and expulsions. She didn’t consider her high school years as being rebellious but more as a time to explore things outside of the sheltered life she was raised in. She really enjoyed music and started a band in high school. <p class="
Mon, May 08, 2023
RE 429: The Connection Between Alcohol and Anxiety
Episode 429 – The Connection Between Alcohol and Anxiety Today we have Dale, he is 55, from Roanoke, VA and he has been alcohol free since March 23, 2019 Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:34] Paul’s thoughts: Paul knows now that there is a connection between his drinking and his anxiety but while actively drinking, he could not. We are told that alcohol relaxes us – which it does by shutting down important parts of our brain. According to Dr. Sheila Shilati,"Alcohol ultimately replaces those important chemicals like dopamine and serotonin in the brain, which mitigate anxiety, therefore, in episodes where you are not drinking, then your brain is searching for those all-important 'feel-good' connections, which become diminished because the supply has been mitigated," We hear a lot about “self-medicating” in recovery. Which isn’t a bad thing, but when we rely too much on this strategy, it stops working. This becomes an even bigger problem because we don’t realize it so we just drink more and now our coping strategy is becoming the reason we can’t cope. Paul shares in episode 417, this is the best place you can be because the tipping point isn’t far off in the distance. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:48] Paul introduces Dale: Dale is 55, lives in southwest Virginia, has been married for 25 years with no children. He works for a shipping company and also owns and manages rental property. Dale enjoys music of all varieties, loves reading and learning and also enjoys gardening. Dale’s first experiences with alcohol came from his parents using it to medicate him as a child. He worked in the hospitality industry in his late teens and early twenties and drinking was a glorified part of the lifestyle. His tolerance grew and he became a daily drinker throughout that time. The recent years found Dale questioning his drinking and realizing he wasn’t living life within his values. He had sneakily drunk some of his wife’s special whiskey which prompted an angry text to Dale. He used this message as motivation and although he was not able to quit right away Dale feels this was the start of his recovery. <p class="MsoNo
Mon, May 01, 2023
RE 428: Do I have a Drinking Problem?
Episode 428 – Do I have a Drinking Problem? Today we have Lauren, she is 54 from Rochester NY, and took her last drink on November 19, 2022. Shout out to Ty with 15 YEARS alcohol free! Thank you for all you do for RE! Shout out to Bradley from south Denver with 3 days alcohol free! Great job! Café RE is a private online unsearchable recovery community. Get accountable and be the best version of you. Together is always better! Use promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the setup fee. [03:23] Intro summary: In the past Paul has talked about the worst place a person can be with a drinking problem is in limbo ( episode 417 ). But how do we find out if we actually have a problem so we can get out of that space? There is a test listed in the DSM-5 to determine if we have a drinking problem or not. There are 11 questions, and you must meet two of them within the past 12 months to have what is called Alcohol Use Disorder. It’s not hard to determine if you have a drinking problem based on that test. But at the end of the day, it can be as simple as if you question if you have a drinking problem, you just answered your own question. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [12:36] Kris introduces Lauren: Lauren has been sober almost 4 months at the time of recording. She lives in Rochester New York, she is married, has two adult children, one granddaughter, has pets and owns her own business helping the elderly. She enjoys time outside, crafting (currently diamond painting), reading and learning new things. Lauren was always fascinated with alcohol, but it wasn’t prevalent in her immediate family. When she was 16, she was able to purchase alcohol for her and her friends. She had a lot of fun and thought it was cool. She chose the college based on their drinking culture; she drank heavily but still did well in school. After college she got married, had two kids and a successful job. She drank the same as other parents around her, so she felt that was normal. She was able to abstain when she had her children and feels her drinking was more or less recreational fo
Mon, April 24, 2023
RE 427: But a Symptom
Episode 427 – But a Symptom Today we have Ian, he is 24, from Baltimore, MD and he has been alcohol free since December 26, 2022. What are you doing for Memorial Day? You should join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta! We have an event for Café RE members on Saturday and then Sunday night we have a conference style event that everyone is invited to attend. Information about the Sunday night event can be found here . Café RE members can get more information through the members website if they are interested in the weekend event. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:15] Thoughts from Paul: If alcohol isn’t the primary problem, and it’s a symptom of something else, what does that mean, and what course of action do we take? None of us are able to correct the unrest in our lives when alcohol is present. That’s why moderate drinking for the problematic drinker doesn’t work either. For Paul, after he ditched the booze, he recognized that his nervous system needed healing and found that nature was a great help with addressing that. Everyone is different and their sources of unrest that need addressing will be different but first, the alcohol needs to go and then the healing can begin. We get one life, and your addiction is about to springboard you towards your authentic self – if you are willing. You may be asking yourself “am I willing?”…If you are listening to this podcast, the answer is yes. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:47] Paul introduces Ian: Ian took his last drink on Christmas Day of 2022. He lives in Baltimore and is a recent college grad. In his free time, he fosters senior dogs and plays music. He finds taking care of animals at the end of their lives to be very rewarding and helpful in his recovery. Ian wasn’t exposed to alcohol until he was in college. He was in his junior year when he started drinking and smoking pot. He had roommates that were drinking like he was at parties and on the weekends, but Ian was starting to be sneaky and would purchase his own alcohol separate from the alcohol that was present in the house and didn’t want anyone to know how much he was actually drinking. The blackouts started becoming more and more
Mon, April 17, 2023
RE 426: It Gets Easier
Episode 426 – It Gets Easier Today we have Jeffrey, he is 35, from Monument, CO and he took his last drink on July 23, 2022. Registration is open for our flagship annual retreat held in Bozeman, Montana, this upcoming August 9th – 13th. This event is all about having fun, connecting, and learning the tools needed to be successful on your Alcohol-Free journey. You can find more information here ! [02:16] Thoughts from Paul: Paul shares that he recently attended an AA meeting where a member celebrated 40 years of sobriety. One thing he took away from this is that it will naturally get easier the more time away from alcohol you have and the more life experience you get. It is also helpful to focus not on the destination, but the journey itself. There is a YouTube channel that Paul watches where the host, Michael, showcases some of the most scenic railways in the world. Michael also shares similar views about the destination vs. the journey. Here is the link to one of his videos documenting the scenic Amtrak train route from Denver to Winter Park Ski Resort . When we realize that hard days are a part of life, and that hard days are a part of an alcohol-free life, things get easier. With each conscious breath we take, things get easier. If you are struggling, on day one or day zero, Paul’s message to you is that this journey will get easier if we embrace it and we don’t do it alone. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [09:38] Kris introduces Jeffrey: Jeffrey is 35 from Monument, CO, he does apartment maintenance for a living, he is single and has one dog and two cats. For fun, he plays Magic the Gathering and is trying to get back into reading, specifically mental health and self-help type material. Jeffrey was a loner growing up, but his sister’s social network became his as well. In high school, they would invite him to parties where there was lots of heavy drinking. It was a weekly event for him and his friends to scrape up money to have an older friend purchase 40’s for them to drink. He went into the job corps program when he was 20. He wasn’t allowed to drink, and he went nearly a year without alcohol and didn’t really feel it was a loss
Mon, April 10, 2023
RE 425: What Recovery Pathway is Right for Me?
Episode 425 – What Recovery Pathway is Right for Me? Today we have Doug. He is 59, from Buena Vista, CO and he took his last drink on July 28, 1982. Join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta over Memorial Day weekend for a fun conference style meet up at the Marriott in Alpharetta. This event is all about getting your connect on and it will be a fun time. Spouses or loved ones are encouraged to attend the Sunday night event and Silent Disco afterwards! [2:30] Thoughts from Paul: When building your recovery portfolio, a good goal is 50% external and 50% internal. At first, the internal work may be too big of an ask, but as your nervous system settles down, you want to aim for a balanced split. Here are some quick examples of what I mean when I say external vs internal: External: Driving to an AA meeting, or hopping on a Café RE zoom chat Phoning a sober friend Working with a sponsor Internal: Meditation Journaling Reading Quit-Lit When building out your recovery I recommend this 5-tiered approach: 1. Community – AA, SMART, Café RE, therapy, sober friends. Burn the Ships! 2. Action/Movement – Chemicals of wellbeing, endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin are released when we move. 3. Inner Peace – Meditation, breathwork, creative ventures, writing, time in nature. 4. Knowledge – Podcasts, Quit-Lit, learning about new things in and out of recovery. 5. Universe – This is not religion, but it is the spiritual component of recovery. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:55] Paul introduces Doug: Doug had his last drink on July 28th, 1982, when he was 19 years old. He lives in Buena Vista, CO and is married and they have two adult children. He has worked in upholstery, cabinet building and installations, and has built some houses with his son. He enjoys the mountains, biking and riding his motorcycle. Doug grew up in a normal family and wasn’t exposed to heavy drinking. His first experience with alcohol was when he was 4 y
Mon, April 03, 2023
RE 424: Caring for You
Episode 424 – Caring for You Today we have Abby. She is 49, from Phoenix, AZ, and took her last drink on 9/25/2020. Join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta over Memorial Day weekend for a fun conference style event at the Marriott in Alpharetta. Spouses or loved ones are encouraged to attend the event on Sunday. Registration is open please click the link for more information. We have registration for the annual Bozeman Retreat opening on April 3rd. The retreat is scheduled for August 9th – 13th. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [03:23] Thoughts from Kris: In an effort to escape the long North Dakota winter, Kris and his wife took a short vacation to Dallas. They had a fantastic time enjoying the city and the company of friends. The key takeaways Kris had are the importance of self-care and connection. He believes that most people are very resilient, and we tend to allow things to keep stacking things onto our plate to the point of overwhelm. That’s when we need to take time to slow down and take care of ourselves; how that looks is different for everyone. [9:30] Kris introduces Abby: Abby took her last drink on September 25, 2020. She’s 49 and lives in Arizona. She’s single and has a young adult daughter who lives nearby. She is self employed doing online marketing for small businesses. She likes to cook, read and stay active. She got drunk for the first time at a New Year’s Eve party when she was a young teen. She drank and smoked weed a lot through high school and college and feels fortunate that she never suffered any consequences throughout that time. At the time Abby thought drinking was just what people do in their teens and early twenties. In hindsight she knows it was numbing behavior. She never felt like she fit in, and alcohol helped her with her socializing. After getting married to someone whose family had drug issues, she quit smoking but kept drinking. Her and her husband drank a lot together and chose wine because they thought it was more sophisticated. She didn’t drink during her pregnancy but started back soon after her daughter was born. Shortly after having their child, she and her husband got divorced
Mon, March 27, 2023
RE 423: Some Phoneless Fool
Episode 423 – Some Phoneless Fool Today we have Laura. She is 45, from Boston, MA, and took her last drink on September 27, 2014. Join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta over Memorial Day weekend for a fun conference style event at the Marriott in Alpharetta on Sunday. This event is all about getting your connect on and it will be a fun time. Spouses or loved ones are encouraged to attend. Registration is open please click the link for more information. We also have registration for the annual Bozeman Retreat opening on April 3rd. The retreat is scheduled for August 9th – 13th. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:07] Highlights from Paul: Paul feels that addictions are adaptations to unhealthy environments. Rates of addiction, disease, inflammations, and cancers are all on the rise. In recovery we are tasked with creating a world for ourselves and others where we feel connected, worthy, and part of the community. Recovery is not about new world exploration but restoring the circuitry we were born with. Addiction could be what forces us to come together, put our differences aside and start loving each other. Paul thinks that it is our job in recovery to create a life for ourselves and others that doesn’t require alcohol for wholeness. He’s up for the task, how about you? Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [6:36] Paul introduces Laura: Laura is 45 years old, lives in Boston, has one daughter and is recently engaged. She is a writer and the founder of The Luckiest Club, an international sobriety support community. For fun she loves to read, play beach volleyball and travelling. She first started drinking when she was 15 but didn’t drink a lot. She played sports in high school which kept her from partying and her dad got sober when she was a teenager so she had a healthy fear of alcohol. Her drinking really started when she went to college. She had a fake ID and was all in. After graduating she found herself surrounded by drinking in the workforce. Throughout her 20’s she surrounded herself with people who drank like her. There was a sense that she drank differently than others but she decided it
Mon, March 20, 2023
RE 422: The Pursuit of Happiness
Episode 422 – The Pursuit of Happiness Today we have Susannah. She is 42 from Hampshire, England, and took her last drink on 4/29/2022. Join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta over Memorial Day weekend for a fun conference style event at the Marriott in Alpharetta on Sunday. This event is all about getting your connect on and it will be a fun time. Spouses or loved ones are encouraged to attend. Registration is open please click the link for more information. We have partnered with Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [03:09] Highlights from Paul: Paul shares a blog post created by Odette regarding happiness in sobriety. He also shares his thoughts that sobriety does not equal happiness or solve all of our problems, but it does give us the chance to build a life where happiness knocks on the door more frequently. The school of sobriety is going to teach you the most important lessons of life. Love and acceptance. It will keep teaching you these lessons until you have accepted, that’s the lesson to learn. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:40] Kris introduces Susannah: Susannah is about to celebrate 10 months of sobriety. She lives in the south of England; she is married, and they have three boys and two dogs. She works in luxury concierge. In her free time, she enjoys walking and is looking forward to expanding her garden this year. Susannah grew up as the youngest of 3 kids. Her parents drank socially but she was never exposed to any kind of alcohol abuse. When she was young, she was sent to boarding school. She was exposed to alcohol when she was around 13 but had no interest in it, in fact she was very against drinking at that time. It wasn’t until she was 16 that she started socially drinking at pubs with friends, but it wasn’t an issue she feels. Her mother died suddenly when Susannah was 22. Her and her mother were very close, so she was feeling quite isolated and alone after this loss. A few years later Susannah was in Thailand when the tsunami hit. These events had her questioning “why me?” and she thinks that they contributed to some of her attention seeking behavior and participation in toxic relationships. She doesn’t feel that she wa
Mon, March 13, 2023
RE 421: Keep it Simple
Episode 421 – Keep It Simple Today we have Stephanie. She is 44 from Georgetown, MA and took her last drink on September 6, 2020. Recovery Elevator podcast just surpassed 10 million downloads! Thank you to our guests, all the team members, Café RE members, and especially our listeners! Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [2:49] Highlights from Paul: In an age where almost everything plugs in, we as human beings do not. Often when we are feeling upset or triggered, one (or more than one) aspect of H.A.L.T is at play. Try and ask yourself if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. Paul gives us a lot of suggestions of simple ways to address these feelings and asks the listener – how do you keep it simple? Let us know on Monday’s post on Instagram in the comment area! Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:42] Paul introduces Stephanie: Stephanie took her last drink on September 6th, 2020. She is 44 years old, lives in Georgetown, Massachusetts. She is married and has two boys, ages 7 and 9, and two dogs. She enjoys walking and running and loves all things sci-fi. She first started drinking when she was 15 with an 18 year old boyfriend. She was socially anxious, and drinking helped with that. There were very few consequences and she says it was at least once a weekend she drank, but never drank at home and wasn’t exposed to alcohol at home. She did well in school and followed the rules at home. She drank in college and went out with her friends typically Thursday through Saturday but did well in school during the week. She was able to dodge some consequences, but the behavior continued. The drinking gradually began happening more frequently especially after she started dating someone and they spent a lot of time going out and drinking together. She ended up getting married and they moved to Arizona. Their relationship was surrounded by alcohol, and it started to become obvious that they couldn’t take nights off and that was an issue. They split up and she moved back home to Boston. While she was excited for the next chapter of her life, she ended up starting to drink alone which was a red flag to her. She met her husband and they had a lot of fun toge
Mon, March 06, 2023
RE 420: The Most Prolific Trap
Episode 420 – The Most Prolific Trap Today we have Matthew. He is 49 from Phoenix, AZ, and has been a sober rock star since 12/15/2006. Our next Ditching the Booze course is starting Monday March 20th. It is free for Café RE members. You can learn more about the course and Café RE by clicking this link . [03:00] Highlights from Paul: As humans, we are prone to the trap that things will be better, or we will feel better after x, y or z happens. If we are constantly attaching happiness to accomplishments, checklists, or sobriety clocks, then eventually this surface level happiness fades and doesn't last nearly as long. Diffusing this trap is our most important task as a species at the moment. To find inner peace regardless of what is going on outside. The first thing we can do to confront the trap is recognize it and then try to find happiness in the present moment while working towards the goal in mind. This is being okay with being okay or being okay even if you feel like dog crap. You are not doing sobriety, or anything wrong, if you have a bad day or 50. To be fair, we do feel better when we make positive change in our lives, but it’s the balance we are going for. And not to place 100% of happiness to a future date, which is never guaranteed. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:37] Kris introduces Matthew: Matthew has just past 16 years of sobriety. He is married and they have two teenage sons. He spent many years as a radio and TV personality all over the country, but recently left the business to do podcasts, motivational speaking and is the head coach of a local high school hockey team. He enjoys doing this as well as taking advantage of the hiking opportunities near where he lives in Phoenix, AZ. Matthew was first exposed to alcohol at a very young age when his dad would share sips of beer with him. He grew up in a family where drinking was a part of the landscape at all gatherings of any kind. He didn’t really drink a whole lot until he was in his late teens. Later in his twenties, Matthew’s career found him doing a lot of appearances where he was expected to be the life of the party and ensure that everyone present was having a good time. This involved large bar tabs and many after par
Mon, February 27, 2023
RE 419: Boredom & Sobriety
Episode 419 – Boredom and Sobriety Today we have Joel. He is 42 from Lawton, OK, and took his last drink on November 28th, 2022. Join Recovery Elevator in Atlanta, GA over Memorial Day weekend. Registration opens March 1st, and the Sunday evening event is for everyone, and you can find more information about it HERE ! Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [2:18] Highlights from Paul: Boredom is a completely normal and natural emotion, one of the many all humans have. In today’s world, we are were unconsciously wired to feel inadequate if we are not stimulated 24/7. But boredom is healthy and what is needed for a creative spark. Big alcohol has done a great job of convincing us that we cannot have fun without alcohol, and part of the sobriety process is finding joy or fun again – without the shit. We can learn to leverage technology and maybe start researching something that we are interested in. And everything becomes a possibility when you quit drinking. It takes our body time to find a heathier homeostasis but with time and practice, boredom becomes the invitation for us to be open to whatever wants to come our way in an alcohol-free life. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [12:01] Paul introduces Joel: Joel has 51 days of sobriety at the time of this recording. He is manager of a large automotive retailer. He is married and they have a 14 year old daughter. He enjoys spending time outdoors hiking and at the lake. Raised by a single mom and had addicts in his family. He didn’t really know his dad until he was 13-14 years old and doesn’t really have contact with him anymore. Parents had a toxic relationship. Joel feels that this time in sobriety is different. He has tried many times and it seems like it gets harder every time. This time he feels that some of the signs he was given were different than before. He started realizing that he was allowing alcohol to take more and more control of his life. He was drinking on the way home from work, his wife hated his drinking so he was hiding it, and finally he realized it was becoming a huge problem. The last few weeks found him having some red flags that made him realize he really needed to stop. <p cl
Mon, February 20, 2023
RE 418: Serenity Now!
Episode 418 – Serenity Now! Today we have Bethany. She is 34 from Michigan and took her last drink in January of 2021. We have partnered with Sober Link . You can find some tips and can sign up for a $50 off promo code. [2:15] Highlights from Kris: Kris enjoys living in a small town where everyone helps one another, and the pace is rather consistent. He and his wife were recently on a trip to the city, and it was busier than usual which created sensory overload for Kris. He found himself in the candle section of Target taking a moment and saying the serenity prayer. It helps him shift his thinking that it’s all about him and reminds him that he can exist better with others. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change The courage to change the things I can The wisdom to know the difference It doesn’t fix everything right away, but it assists with pausing and choosing how to react going forward. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:15] Kris introduces Bethany: Bethany is 34, has two kids and a fiancé. She just graduated college last year, works as an account manager for a car parts company. For fun she likes to play video games and plays often with her fiancé. She also enjoys running, camping, travelling and quality time with friends and family. Bethany wasn’t exposed to alcohol much growing up. She had her first drink when she was 14 and got sick so she didn’t try it again for a while. Started going to high school parties but didn’t drink when she was playing sports. She found herself in a toxic relationship with a boy she met in church. After a messy break up she stopped going to the church and ended up feeling the loss of community as a result. After going away to college, she started partying as a way to escape her depression. By her sophomore year she stopped going to classes and for the next year, her drinking escalated a good bit more. She met her ex-husband around this time. She ended up getting pregnant and then they got married and had another child. She says they weren’t compatible, and they didn’t have a healthy relationship. Bethany feels she didn’t have a good real-life example of strong relationships growing up
Mon, February 13, 2023
RE 417: The Best and Worst Place to be With a Drinking Problem
Episode 417 – The Best and Worst Place to be With a Drinking Problem Today we have Jenny, she is 36 from Hudson, WI and took her last drink on 2/16/2020. Shout out to our Café RE hosts! They do an amazing job. If you are interested in joining, click the link and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to wave the setup fee. [02:45] Intro Summary: When Paul describes the best and worst places to be with a drinking problem, they both look a lot alike. That realization that alcohol no longer serves us, but we can’t imagine life without it can be a scary place to be. Alcohol has us right where it wants us. It may feel like part of you is dying, that feeling is grief. But on the flip side, when we realize that alcohol no longer serves us, we can see that as an invitation to live the life we were meant to live. We are at the tipping point about to embark upon the greatest journey in our life. We are all right where we need to be. Life will keep giving us the same lesson until we are ready to learn or make a change. By making that first jump into the unknown, you give others courage to do the same. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:15] Paul introduces Jenny: Jenny is 36 and lives in the small town of Hudson WI. She is married and they have one son together. She works in education and enjoys the outdoors – camping, backpacking, she also enjoys gardening, yoga and in recovery she learned that she likes to read. Jenny’s drinking started when she was just 11 years old. A traumatic event that she didn’t share with anyone had her feeling alone and out of place. Jenny realized she loved drinking right from the start. She grew up aspiring to be the bad girl with the tough persona because it helped her put up a guard to protect herself. She enjoyed drinking and was willing to try any other drugs. When she was 20 her and her boyfriend moved to Montana. She thought she could escape her issues, but that didn’t work. Her addictions got worse and while she would quit some things, the alcohol remained which helped her believe that she didn’t have a problem because drinking was socially acceptable. At age 30, sh
Mon, February 06, 2023
RE 416: The AF Beverage
Episode 416 – The AF Beverage Today we have Mike, he is 59 from Newport, OR and took his last drink on 1/27/2022. Shout out to one of our sponsors - SoberLink – click the link for a promo code for RE listeners. Our six week Sober Ukulele Course brought to you by Kala Brand ukulele starts this Saturday! There is still time to sign up. If you need a ukulele, use the promo code 23ELEVATOR for 15% off. Thank you Café RE chat hosts! You do an amazing job! [01:34] Highlights from Paul: When quitting drinking, the thinking mind creates 99 problems or obstacles, but what to drink when we ditch the booze shouldn’t be one of them. Exploring AF beverages in recovery should be fun. Paul gives us the three key pillars (the drink, the temperature, and the glass/cup) along with many great tips on combining these elements to make the perfect AF drink. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:31] Kris introduces Mike: Mike has been sober for 323 days at the time of recording. He lives on the Oregon coast and after leaving the restaurant business three years ago, he now manages a deli. He enjoys writing and walking on the beach which he lives very close to. Mike started working in the restaurant business as a cook at the age of 15-16 years old. He says that alcohol comes with the restaurant industry. It was customary to drink with customer and coworkers, it was part of day to day life. No one really commented on his drinking because his family was on the west coast and he was attending college on the east coast. Everyone he associated with at the time drank as well. He did some soul searching after he had gotten a divorce and took some time away from alcohol, but it was hard to sustain. The long hours and drinking we beginning to take a toll on him mentally and physically. He started making rules around his drinking but always broke them. When he was 40, he got married again and they had a child. He says alcohol was a problem in his relationships and was starting to affect his job as well. He tried outpatient rehab and attending AA on his own but when that didn’t repair the marriage, he stopped going. His drinking increased and he got a few DUIs that included court ordered meetings and counseling. He was just checking the boxes by going, but ended up learning things on the way even though he wasn’t ready to quit drinking. He enjoys research and looks at that as time he used to research quitting drinking. He reflected on his journals that he has kept throughout his life and realized that he has alw
Mon, January 30, 2023
RE 415: Dopamine
Episode 415 – Dopamine Today we have Jorie, she is 31, from Westford, VT and took her last drink on 9/19/2020 There are two spots left for our next sober travel trip to Costa Rica from April 12th-21st for more information click the link Costa Rica 2023 . The deadline to register is February 24th. Registration is open for our 6 week Ukulele Course brought to you by Kala Brand ukulele – use the promo code 23ELEVATOR for 15% off. The course starts in three weeks on Saturday, February 11th so you have plenty of time to pick-up a ukulele. [02:01] Highlights from Paul: We hear a lot about dopamine in recovery. All humans have dopamine, but our dopamine systems all work differently. It is the chemical that drives us eat, find warmth, shelter, find a mate and is also known as the pleasure molecule. Living in a world of abundance rather than scarcity finds us with an overwhelming number of dopamine-triggering stimuli for nearly all of us in one way or another. Many of us reached the point in our drinking where we no longer drank to feel good but drank just to feel normal. This is all tied to dopamine and how it is processed by the body. Dopamine is important to keep us going, but we must find healthier ways to get it. Check out the book Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke , it is a great read on the topic. We have partnered with SoberLink – there is a promo code for RE listeners. [09:14] introduces Jorie: Jorie is 31 and was born in raised in Vermont. She enjoys running, playing hockey and loves to write which she says helps her stay in the present moment. She’s an athletic trainer at a local school, runs her own business and supervises sporting events. She is also part of a co-ed hockey league in her spare time. Jorie didn’t start drinking until after college. Her parents divorced when she was young. Her father had a drinking problem, but her mother did not drink. She was never interested in drinking, she worked hard in school and played sports, so it didn’t fit into her lifestyle. She was in a long-term relationship since she was 18 and they got married when she was 27. The pandemic really opened her eyes to her relationship with alcohol. She realized how uncomfortable it made her to think about alcohol not being an option to cope with things. Jorie and her brother challenged one another to quit drinking over the summer of 2020 and they almost made it three weeks. That experiment helped her to further review her drinking and she started realizing that she really tried to avoid being uncomfortable
Mon, January 23, 2023
RE 414: You Won’t Regret Not Drinking
Episode 414 – You Won’t Regret Not Drinking Today we have Emily, she is 44, from Phoenix, AZ and took her last drink on March 10th, 2019 There are about four spots open for our next sober travel trip to Costa Rica from April 12th-21st for more information click the link Costa Rica 2023 . The deadline to register is February 24th. Registration is open for our 6 week Ukulele Course brought to you by Kala Brand ukulele – use the promo code 23ELEVATOR for 15% off. The course starts Saturday, February 11th. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:34] Paul’s thoughts: Paul doesn’t make many promises on this podcast but feels he can 100% positively tell us that we will never regret not drinking. You won’t regret the extra $20 you save; the planet won’t regret the gallons of water not used after “breaking the seal” or the trash drinking creates. Your family will never regret you not drinking. Your pets, your plants, your job, your community. Your hobbies, and your goals as well as any one of the 70 trillion cells in your body will not regret you not drinking. It takes bravery and courage to take this path but listeners, you will not regret ditching the booze. You can do this. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [08:30] Kris introduces Emily: Emily has been sober for almost 4 years. She lives in Phoenix AZ with her husband, two daughters and two cats. She currently works in music education and loves to play music, paddleboard, and listening to podcasts. Emily had little exposure to alcohol growing up. Her father was a recovering alcoholic, which wasn’t talked about much. She took her first drink at the age of 19 at an Army officer training program event. She was very nervous and insecure in new social settings so accepted the offer to drink and ended up blacking out. She was excited to fit in but had a huge sense of shame because she didn’t remember what happened. Drinking was a problem for Emily right from the start. It was never just one she always binge drank. Throughout college and her career, she was able to mostly uphold her dual life – had it all together but on the inside was struggling with fears of not fitting in and fears of abandonment. Emily’s husband was also in the military and was deployed frequently. She used alcohol to self soothe when she felt isolated. They were moving around a lot which gave Emily a chance to start over every time. She didn’t have to worry about who she alienated or upset with her drinking and just m
Mon, January 16, 2023
RE 413: Grit, Grace, and Gratitude
Episode 413 – Grit, Grace, and Gratitude Today we have Matt who is from Atlanta and took his last drink on November 15th, 2022. Registration is open for our 6 week Ukulele Course brought to you by Kala Brand ukulele – use the promo code 23ELEVATOR for 15% off. The course starts Saturday, February 11th. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 [02:35] Thoughts from Kris: Turning 40 found him thinking more about longevity and being able to be healthy later in life. He has struggled with his physical health the past few years but gave himself a pass because his mental and spiritual health was more important at the time. Now, five years later and several stops and starts, he realizes he needs to treat his nutrition and physical health goals like another form of recovery. Much like sobriety, he felt he shouldn’t do it alone and reached out to a friend in the health and wellness world and asked for help. Together they set some small, attainable goals rather than a strict daily routine bound for failure. He talks about the virtues of “grit” “grace” and “gratitude” and their relation to our recovery. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:21] Paul introduces Matt Matt has 31 days at the time of this recording. He feels great making it past that milestone after many stops in starts over the past four years. Matt was born in Atlanta and moved to Utah in middle school. He was an avid skier and baseball player in school and currently enjoys going to the gym, running, and playing in a local rock band. Matt was young when he first tried sips of his parents’ drinks. Other than a few parties, Matt didn’t drink much in high school. It wasn’t until joining a fraternity in college that his drinking really got going. He considers his drinking as binge drinking and did not drink daily however, he started developing panic attacks and having issues with his grades at school. He buckled down and cut back on partying during his senior year and graduated. He got a good job right after college and wasn’t having any more panic attacks. He typically only drank on the weekends and didn’t feel he had a problem because work was still going well and, on the occasion that he got a hangover, he would take a break for a while. Some consequences came when he lost his job a few years ago and his drinking really ramped up as a way to cope with it. It took him a while to realize he was drinking to cover up his feelings and started using more and more. When things at home weren’t going well Matt agreed he needed to address his drinking and st
Mon, January 09, 2023
RE 412: Get Your Connection On
Episode 412 – Get Connected Today we have Brad who is 35 from Fort Wayne, IN and took his last drink on 8/31/2018 Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 On Saturday February 11th we start the 6 week Ukulele Course brought to you by Kala Brand ukulele – use the promo code 23ELEVATOR for 15% off. [3:19] Highlights from Paul: Human beings are wired for connection, we need it to survive. It’s up on the list with food, clean water, and shelter. Paul shares several statistics surrounding chronic disorders with the biggest one being mental disorders and loneliness. Loneliness has been compared to smoking in how it affects our bodies and is considered to be unhealthier than inactivity or obesity. Our addictions are symptoms of our disconnection. Are we doomed? Paul says no. There is a remedy - get connected! The ability to connect is a skill that we acquire naturally as kids/young adults but connecting later in life isn’t as easy. Here are some steps to help with connecting: #1 – leverage your decision to quit drinking #2 – Connect - Go to AA, join Café RE, meet with other sober people Connection isn’t always human to human. Animals can help too. Paul credits Ben in saving him and helping him get sober. We (the community) are what help him stay sober. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:25] Kris introduces Brad: Brad is from Indiana; he is married and has a daughter and two dogs. He works in sales and enjoys spending time with family and friends, playing golf, and being active with his church. Brad didn’t really drink much until his sophomore year in college when he had an opportunity to go to school in London. When he returned, he continued to go out frequently to bars and parties. He didn’t see a problem as he was still doing well in school and graduated with honors. He found the transition between college and finding a career to be challenging. Due to his colleagues being older than him, he felt a little isolated socially so he would continue to spend time with friends that were still in college. This found him drinking more and more frequently. He met his wife at a bar and in the early days of their relationship they socialized often. He always drank more than her and it wasn’t until they moved in together that he would recognize that his drinking was a problem. He would try to quit for a while, but it didn’t last, and he considered his drinks a reward for working hard. It started causing issues in their relationship. Brad was starting to have some negative consequ
Mon, January 02, 2023
RE 411: The Grateful Alcoholic
Episode 411 – The Grateful Alcoholic Today we have Lisa who is 65 from Atlanta, GA took her last drink on 11/17/2022. Whether you are on day 1 or day 1000, there is still time to join REStore . The next class is tonight at 8:30pm EST There are still spots open for our next sober travel trip to Costa Rica from April 12th-21st for more information click the link Costa Rica 2023 Highlights from Paul: Paul didn’t understand a fellow AA member’s references to being a “grateful alcoholic”. Only after getting to know Jim, did he understand what they meant. It took a few years for Paul to get to that point to be grateful for his addiction. He reflects that our addictions are signposts trying to guide us to a more authentic life and that there are no such things as failures. They are learning opportunities and we should never give up. We should trust the process of healing from the addictions, and we can all become grateful for the role that alcohol has played in our lives. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [00:00] Paul introduces Lisa Her last drink was November 17, 2022 - a little over three weeks from the time of this recording. She says it feels wonderful, relieving, liberating, comforting, all positive things. Lisa is 65 and lives in Atlanta area with her husband of 36 years. They have two grown children and remain close to them. She enjoys reading, travelling, exercise, nature and family time. Lisa’s drinking started out on the weekends in high school. She drank throughout adulthood and always knew she drank abnormally. She discovered she had her first blackout and fell when she was nearly 50. That scared her into getting sober with AA but she feels she never did the work or found a good sponsor. After one year, she thought she could handle drinking again. Over the last two or three years she has known she needed to stop again. She was starting to notice the health consequences and began finding resources including The Huberman Lab podcast episode about alcohol , and This Naked Mind . Journalling about her drinking past has helped her recognize some of what drove her to addiction. She became aware that her drinking ramped up after she retired in 2015 as she felt a loss of identity. She has recently become a caretaker for her mother who has been in recovery since Lisa was 15, but they have never been close. She thinks she used alcohol for stress and anxiety relief over that and the loneliness she found in retire
Mon, December 26, 2022
RE 410: What's the Point?
Episode 410 – What’s the Point? Today we have Justin who is 37 from New York Check out the AF drink recipes curated by Kate on the Recovery Elevator blog NYE Sober Prom in San Diego on December 31st. We have Athletic Brewing , Sip Clean , Sound Soda and Crumbl Cookies sponsoring this event, open to Café RE members only. Whether you are on day 1 or day 1000, there is still time to join REStore . We start this Sunday, please join us! Highlights from Paul: Many of us have asked the question “what’s the point of life?” The response is always a near derivative of love. It’s safe to say that the core religions can be summarized with one teaching. The Golden Rule. The mystics recognized, we are all one, what you do to another you do to yourself and if you treat your fellow human being with respect and dignity, you in turn will experience the same. We have learned that we cannot find the point of it all at the bottom of a bottle. And when we hear The Golden Rule, we often think of the other person, but what about being kind to ourselves? Treat others as you’d like to be treated, but you need to treat yourself how you want to be treated. And only then, can we have a shot at learning about what this miracle we call life is all about. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:00] Kris introduces Justin: Justin has been sober since September 9th, 2020. He lives in Harrison New York. He is getting married next year, has two cats and two dogs. He loves running, traveling, and listening to podcasts and audiobooks. When he was growing up, his first exposure to alcohol was his family having wine at the holidays and his dad drank beer. He remembers his father as inconsistent, and was very aware of the amount of beer that his father drank and was attuned to what was going on. Justin first drank in around 7th grade but didn’t like where it was heading. Later he had a small circle of friends that he would drink heavily with late in high school. After transitioning to college alcohol was the gateway to making friends. He started making rules around his drinking early on and used it as a coping tool. He never felt he had a problem because he knew what a problem looked like. After college, Justin continued to try and create rules around his drinking. Alcohol was more of a social connector and bars were everywhere and he couldn’t imagine life without drinking – it was normalized but he knew he was differe
Mon, December 19, 2022
RE 409: The Cost of Inauthenticity
Episode 409 – The Cost of Inauthenticity Today we have Jeremiah, he’s 35 from Denver, CO and took his last drink on April 27, 2022. NYE Sober Prom in San Diego on December 31st. We have Athletic Brewing , Sip Clean , Sound Soda and Crumbl Cookies sponsoring this event, open to Café RE members only. Registration for REStore is now open! https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 Highlights from Paul: Being inauthentic creates a lot of pain which many of us have tried to address it by using alcohol. We often choose survival over authenticity by putting our basic needs over expressing or being ourselves. Sometimes we have to be inauthentic to fit in. Dr. Gabor Mate’s book “ The Myth of Normal ” says “the perceived need to be what the world demands becomes entangled with our sense of who we are and how to seek love. Inauthenticity is thereafter misidentified with survival because the two were synonymous during the formative years.” It has been studied that being inauthentic can lead to physical disease. And Dr. Sarno has concluded that back pain is not structural but represents repressed emotions, mostly rage. How can we be authentic? It is a practice and a balance. There are two sides to the coin: saying no to BS and doing more of what you enjoy. Paul challenges us to ask ourselves where we are not being authentic? What BS are we putting up with? Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [9:28] Paul introduces Jeremiah: Jeremiah took his last drink on April 27, 2022. He grew up in Wisconsin but currently lives in Denver, CO. He’s 35, single and has two dogs and loves all varieties of outdoor sports. Jeremiah didn’t drink in high school but started drinking when he went to college. He was able to do well in school and work and went out a few nights a week drinking like a “normal” college student. After graduating he moved out of state, got married and says his drinking was drastically reduced. Even throughout other life changes including a divorce his drinking wasn’t out of control. After getting a DUI he was ordered to take classes that he didn’t feel that he needed and was able to quit drinking for over a year with relative ease. He initially saw the pandemic as an opportunity to focus on healthy and productive endeavors. He soon
Mon, December 12, 2022
RE 408: Focus on the Good
Episode 408 – Focus on the Good Today we have Bret, 42, from Fort Lauderdale, Florida and he took his last drink on September 17th, 2022. Registration for REStore is now open! https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 Highlights from Paul: Paul urges us to focus on the good. There is plenty of bad news out there but ruminating on issues that don’t directly affect us can be detrimental. While suffering is part of the human condition, there is always something to be thankful for. He says that it is on the super challenging days where our recovery work is so important. Like Odette said in the newsletter recently - “watch our thoughts – if a thought isn’t inline with your new alcohol-free life – let it go”. Author Jay Shetty in his book Think Like a Monk classifies thoughts as a seed or a weed. If it’s a weed, let it go, if it’s a seed, water it and let it grow. Manifestation is the mind’s version of The Golden Rule, which is when you treat others with respect, you will gain respect back. With your mind it’s the same thing. If you work towards focusing on the good, then eventually your outer reality will match up. Paul’s take on “character defects” is that we should be aware and make intentions to correct them, but to not get stuck ruminating on them. If we focus on our weaknesses, it is hard to let our positive personality traits thrive. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:51] Kris introduces Bret Bret is at 66 days sober and feeling cautiously optimistic. He’s 42 years old, he was raised in Utah but lives in Fort Lauderdale now. He has been with his partner for 17 years, and they have two dogs and a cat. He likes to cook, garden and is a property appraiser. Bret’s parents divorced when he was very young, and he watched his older siblings stress their mom out with their drinking and swore he would never do it. Growing up gay was a struggle but when he went to college he started going to bars and found his community and felt like he belonged. He was able to drink and successfully go to school and work. His drinking was on par with everyone else, so he didn’t feel he had a problem. He moved to Fort Lauderdale in his 20’s and found community in the bar scene. The party never ended which normalized his drinking for him. He was still able to work and function fine and never had any major consequences a
Mon, December 05, 2022
RE 407: A Message to Big Alcohol
Episode 407 – A Message to Big Alcohol Today we have Jeff, 48, from Joplin Missouri with 13 days of sobriety at time of recording Registration for Restore opens December 1. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 Highlights from Paul For the first time in this podcast, Paul speaks to Big Alcohol. Why now? We have a limited time together on each episode he has felt that discussing how to live a better life without the stuff is better use of our time. He addresses the fact that Big Alcohol’s greatest customers are the alcoholic/problem drinkers and not the “normal” drinker that has one or two beers and the rest sits in the fridge for months. They are also responsible for perpetuating the myth that alcohol consumption is good for you. Spoiler alert: it’s not. The Huberman Lab Podcast has an episode that dives deep into the effects alcohol has on the brain/body. ( https://hubermanlab.com/what-alcohol-does-to-your-body-brain-health ) The amount of trash that can be found on the sides of the road is about a 10/1 ratio alcohol related vs. non-alcohol related. Paul asks if Big Alcohol is ok with the remnants of their product being strewn all over the planet via human wreckage and excessive trash. Paul clarifies that his goal is to not fight with Big Alcohol. His battle with alcohol and alcoholism made him who he is today, and he appreciates that. But maybe they would be willing to share just a half of a percentage point of their marketing budget to help us clean up the mess their product has created both on humans and on our planet. We’d be interested to collaborate on our next service project. You can reach us at info@recoveryelevator.com Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:59] Jeff lives in Joplin, MO currently, but grew up in NC. He has a wife and three children aged 6, 4 and 8 months. He recently started his own business and enjoys golf, reading, creative writing and poetry, and writing and playing music. Jeff took his first drink with a friend at home when he was 17. He remembers the occasional drink at a party in high school but didn’t really start drinking until he turned 21. Through his 20’s drinking was part of life. He was able to cut back or quit drinking whenever he felt it was getting to be too much. Jeff says he didn’t have a true rock bottom moment but after an incident that found him ramping up his drinking, he chose to seek some counseling for PTSD. He started to realize that the way he had been drinking and handlin
Mon, November 28, 2022
RE 406: Moving the Needle
Episode 406 – Moving the Needle Today we have Nate, Eric, Beth, Hunter, and Kathy. Registration for Restore opens December 1. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ Sponsor: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Highlights from Kris Kris speaks to the many mixed messages we get about addiction. Billions of dollars are spent on alcohol advertising that lures you to believe how fun, cool, and sexy you will be if you drink, as long as you don’t become one of “those people.” After Kris’s first session with an addiction specialist who shared her recovery journey with Kris, he felt less alone. Kris’ counselor gave him hope that there was a better way. He continued counseling, completed treatment, and found the Recovery Elevator podcast. Today he is one of the hosts. One of the best ways to combat the stigma of addiction is to tell your story. Kris recently attended the 6th Annual Recovery Reinvented event founded by Kathryn Burgum, the first lady of North Dakota. Kris had an opportunity to hear Dr. Bruce Perry speak, who co-authored the book, “What Happened to You?” with Oprah Winfrey. Dr. Perry said that while the science, research, and statistics are fascinating, the storytelling inspires others to revisit their beliefs about addiction. There are a few ways to tell your story: you can share in a recovery meeting, on a recovery podcast, give a testimony at your church, or post on Facebook or Instagram. You can also lead by example by passing on the cocktail at Happy Hour or telling your friends, “I don’t drink.” Keep sharing your stories, RE – that’s how we will combat the stigma of addiction. For more information on Recovery Reinvented, visit: www.recoveryreinvented.com Book Reference: https://www.amazon.com/What-Happened-You-Conversations-Resilience-ebook/dp/B087D5YQXB/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1IWMTJBKBOOZE&keywords=what+happened+to+you&qid=1669220153&s=digital-text&sprefix=what+happened+to+you%2Cdigital-text%2C448&sr=1-1 Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:25] Nate loves to build community and peer support and does great things in North Dakota. As a transplant to ND, he was embraced by “North Dakota nice.” He found recovery after multiple DUIs. He empowers students in recovery. He is passionate about being the change for others in his community. [21:45] Eric is a physician and a professor and speaks to active addiction while practicing medicine. He has been in recovery for thirty years, and the services available were very different when he started. There are now programs available for clinicians in recovery that
Mon, November 21, 2022
RE 405: Ahead of the Pack
Episode 405 – Ahead of the pack Today we have Rachel. She is 29, from Wisconsin, and took her last drink on September 4, 2022. Registration for Restore opens December 1. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ Sponsor: https://www.soberlink.com/ Highlights from Paul Is there a stigma for those in recovery, or are we ahead of the pack? This past August, Paul invited Elaine Huang mindfulness and spirituality teacher) to speak at the RE Bozeman retreat. Elaine shared with Paul that those ditching the booze are ahead of the pack. She never has to modify or simply her course content for Café RE members. Members of our group are advanced students; they are more resilient, elite, and have a greater capacity for love and a greater capacity for recovery after pain & suffering. Elaine referred to us as “old souls .”The recovery community has a greater capacity for survival, compassion, and love. Elaine believes our population is part of the 1% of people who can achieve a higher level of consciousness, vibration, and frequency: the frequency of love. Feel free to watch this video from a neuroscientist, Dr. Joe Dispenza. https://youtu.be/Ov3aeqjeih0 Deepak Chopra says, “it takes as little as 1% of a population to create positive change, and I believe that if 100 million people underwent a personal transformation in the direction of peace, harmony, laughter, love, kindness, and joy...the world would be transformed.” Transcendental Meditation teacher Maharishi Mahesh predicted that only one percent of humanity is needed to create enough good vibrations to usher in world peace. (https://www.naturalawakenings.com/2018/11/30/224480/a-global-wake-up-call-collective-consciousness-nears-spiritual-tipping-point) For more information on Elaine Huang: Elaine Huang - Embodiment of Freedom: https://www.mayyouawaken.com/ Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [12:30] Rachel has been sober for over thirty days. She is still struggling and hasn’t experienced a pink cloud yet. She is experiencing a lot of depersonalization, but she is hopeful. She loves singing, live music, nature, hiking, and playing the ukulele. Rachel struggles with PTSD. She has a partner and two kids. Rachel identifies with the gifted kid burnout syndrome. She excelled in school but struggled to embrace her feelings, given some of her struggles at home. She was high functioning in high school: in clubs and the National Honor Society. As a DARE kid, she was afraid of drugs and alcohol. She described having a second life and drinking to impress people. Rachel believed alcohol helped her to fit in. She graduated from hi
Mon, November 14, 2022
RE 404: The Order of Healing
Episode 404 – The order of healing Today we have Natasha. She is 43, from Vancouver, B.C, and took her last drink on August 23, 2021. Book: Alcohol is Sh!t. https://www.amazon.com/Alcohol-is-Sht-Paul-Churchill-audiobook/ Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE20 Highlights from Paul Paul outlines the order of healing when we quit drinking. He describes the healing as happening in reverse order of the harm done. You can do the following: Ditch the booze Fuel the body with healthy food and hydrate Cut down on sugar and caffeine Move (aim for 20 mins a day 3x a week) Recovery – AA, Café RE, Smart Recovery, IOP, etc. Book: The All-Day Energy Diet. https://amzn.to/3CmLivc The healing process: The body (3-12 months) Mental healing (6 months to 1.5 years) Spiritual healing Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:04] Natasha has been sober for over a year. She is in medical sales, has a son, and enjoys friends, bingo, travel, and hiking. Natasha was afraid of alcohol during her early years. She would dump out beer and pretend to be drunk to avoid social pressure. After her son was born, she had six beers during a concert. As she approached thirty, she drank after work with her co-workers in the restaurant industry. At 35, she knew her drinking was a problem. Socializing and drinking was a big part of her job. Her relationship wasn’t healthy because they drank together, and Natasha could outdrink her partner. Sobriety has taught Natasha that none of her fears about quitting drinking were true; liquid courage is a myth. She is funny and entertaining with her clients. Her relationships have more meaning, and she can be present. She describes the first year as brutal. After a boozy weekend with girls, Natasha knew it was time to quit. She dumped out a wine cooler, and that was it. She was angry at people who could drink normally and isolated herself a bit. Now she recognizes she can enjoy her life without the chaos of alcohol. Boundaries have become necessary, and she enjoys spending time alone. Reading, listening to podcasts, and meditation have helped her maintain her sobriety. Natasha’s relationships have evolved and grown. She lost some friends along the way, but her core group supports her sobriety. [58:51] Kris’s Summary Kris has been getting his garage in order. He recognized that he was comfortable with the chaos until he hit a tipping point. Cleaning the garage has so many parallels to recovery. Kris was overwhelmed, but he
Mon, November 07, 2022
RE 403: Hello Universe
Episode 403 – Hello Universe Many Today we have Pat. He is 38, from Georgia, and he took his last drink on February 22, 2022. Events: https://recoveryelevator.com/events Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/re20 Highlights from Paul The opposite of addiction is connection. Near-death experiences often connect us to a higher power and make us question where we go after we die. In today’s episode, Paul shares his views on spirituality and connecting with a higher power. Addiction disconnects us from the external world and from within. Paul reminds us we are not alone: we are connected to every living on the planet. Love, connection, inclusivity, and wholeness. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [13:14] Pat got sober on 2/22/22 and planned his sobriety date as a military child who has lived in many places. He is married, loves archery, plays guitar, writes music, and sells hearing aids. Pat began experimenting with alcohol at 15. He learned in college he could drink a lot. He was frequently the last one standing. Initially, he drank to get a buzz. He avoided eating to enhance his buzz. In college, he got a DUI. Pat drank to feel normal. He never had a true rock bottom moment. In 2020, Pat stopped drinking for six months, knowing he and his wife wanted to conceive. He switched from whiskey to beer. Quickly it snuck back into his life. Pat’s wife began going to Al-Anon. He burned the ships on social media and garnered support from friends and family. After a physical, he had some bad results, including elevated liver enzymes. He was encouraged to go to inpatient rehab. He ultimately tapered. His doctor prescribed medications to help him overcome anxiety. The first two weeks of detox were painful. After the physical challenges dissipated, things became much more manageable. His family and friends supported him. He realizes he doesn’t need alcohol to get through the highs and lows of everyday life. The RE podcast, audiobooks, and the Café RE Facebook group are his favorite recovery tools, and he is excited that he and his wife are expecting their first child. [49:20] Paul’s Summary Book recommendations Reality Unveiled: https://amzn.to/3CxrVQg The seat of the Soul: https://amzn.to/3z0phBJ Many lives many masters: https://amzn.to/3rQ6QLS The concepts in these books help Paul to feel connected. The knowledge is the precursor to feeling the way Paul needs to feel to stay sober. Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events<
Mon, October 31, 2022
RE 402: What to Expect
Today we have Emily. She is 34, from Cincinnati, OH and took her last drink on Aug 27th, 2022. Happy Halloween. A drink won’t make your overall Halloween experience better. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Recovery Reinvented Link: https://recoveryreinvented.com/events/2022/#overview Highlights from Paul All emotions are created equal and you need them all equally. Here is why. In the world of duality we need opposites for defining purposes. I want to tie this into recovery one more time. Do not gauge your recovery success on your emotions. You will feel them all. Yes, do more of what you enjoy, but thank the other side of that for telling you what you don’t enjoy. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator – 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:35] Emily is married and has 2 little boys, ages 5 and 8. She runs a bar in downtown Cincinnati. Emily enjoys being crafty and making stuff. Emily doesn’t remember seeing any unhealthy alcohol behavior in her home while growing up. Emily was 13 the first time she got drunk. 20 years old and in college Emily got her first bartending job. She met her husband working in the bar in Cincinnati and they have now been together for 13 years. After having her first baby Emily got out of bartending and into alcohol sales. This escalated her drinking. She then got pregnant with her 2nd and went back to bartending after that. As her kids got older there was more drinking and drugs…while still getting up and taking care of her kids and responsibilities. January 2021 Emily quit drinking for 5 months. This year Emily changed jobs, started working at a new bar with good friends. Emily was approaching 1 month sober at the time of her interview. Ben’s Friends https://www.bensfriendshope.com/ Kris’s Summary Recovery Reinvented - The event will be held in person on November 3 in Grand Forks North Dakota. But if you can’t make it to Grand Forks, don’t worry, the event is available online as well! It’s 100% FREE to attend. www.recoveryreinvented.com .
Mon, October 24, 2022
RE 401: Welcome Back
Episode 401 – Welcome Back Today we have Jen. She is 52, from Connecticut, and took her last drink on March 10th, 2022. Restore: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored Highlights from Paul In episode 391, Paul asked listeners what they wanted to hear. Jeff L, with 5 years alcohol-free (That’s what’s up!) said he wanted to hear from past guests. Great idea Jeff as we are also curious as to where they are now. Paul gives updates from 15 past guests. [20:30] Jen lives in Connecticut, has 2 kids (21 & 23), and just recently got a new job as a counselor at a treatment center. Jen had her 1st drink at 13 years old playing quarters, which resulted in her blacking out and being sick for 3 days. She says that was a sign of what was to come and that drinking was never fun for her. At 19 she started thinking she was an alcoholic and became a daily drinker. Jen was sober for 10 years (and then another 8 years). Those first 10 years were spent in the rooms of AA and it took 7 years before she was able to get sober again. After losing her husband suddenly to a heart attack in 2018 Jen started drinking. Again Jen found herself going to treatment again (4 different treatment centers since her husband died). Jen is now sober and back in the rooms of AA. Musical submission from The Alex. Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator- We are the only ones who can do this, but you don’t have to do it alone. I love you guys.
Mon, October 17, 2022
RE 400: Chasing a Carrot on a Stick
Episode 400 – Chasing a Carrot on a Stick Today we have Nick. He is from Vancouver, B.C, and took her last drink on December 7, 2018. Recovery Elevator website: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/ Soberlink: https:///www.soberlink.com/ Highlights from Kris Kris speaks to the crossroads of recovery. He acknowledges that so many new thoughts, podcasts, tools, mindsets, books, and videos on recovery. Then there is real life with an equal number of views, podcasts, and tools, on how to meet deadlines, be a great husband and father, a great worker, and a good friend. With all these different concepts flying at us and life asking us to show up, how do you handle recovery and life simultaneously? For Kris, the crossroads show up often, and he has come to appreciate them as options. He has also learned that the best way to handle all possibilities is to sit with them, observe them and refrain from acting immediately. Krist describes this practice as combining mindfulness and refraining. Kris is working on finding peace and comfort where he is today. He will continue to take in new options and ideas but recognizes he doesn’t have to chase everything in front of him. When he can slow down, he can appreciate where he is. Kris can also acknowledge where he is feeling discomfort and focus on the pain rather than shifting his attention to something else. Kris asks himself, “what am I doing with the time I have right now?” Kris encourages listeners to stay curious, act with intention, and show ourselves grace along the way. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [9:02] Nick was on Episode 220 and has been sober for nearly four years. He is 36, married, lives in Vancouver, works at a university, and enjoys gardening because plants don’t talk back. Growing up, Nick’s parents regularly drank with dinner, but not to excess. He had the occasional sip from his parent’s drink but wasn’t fascinated by alcohol. Nick remembers struggling with depression, anxiety, and feeling out of place at age 16. His peers seemed to have dreams and ambitions, and he was a mediocre student without aspirations. Alcohol took that anxiety away like a warm hug. Alcohol helped Nick feel less awkward and became a gateway to who he wanted to be. Nick felt in control of his drinking until he moved to Vancouver, which became his primary comfort source. His father had a stroke, and that changed his life. He sought out ways to drink when he was away from his family. Slowly, he noticed his drinking progress until it felt like it consumed him, and he was out of control. At many points, he decided to quit, but each
Mon, October 10, 2022
RE 399: What’s the Hardest Thing About Quitting Drinking?
Episode 399 – What’s the hardest part about quitting drinking? Today we have Zita. She is 31, from Minnesota, and took her last drink on November 27, 2021. Restore: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ Highlights from Paul An AF life is overall better than drinking. The key word is overall. Quitting drinking is the hardest thing Paul has ever done, and, it’s the best decision he’s ever made. Not quitting is harder on you than you realize. The domino effect of addiction cascades to your health, your relationships, your livelihood, and your sense of well-being. Those rock bottoms get worse and hit new depths that create despair, shame and helplessness. The decision to quit drinking can be harder when you don’t have those rock bottom moments, but you still have that voice in your head telling you, it’s time. Quitting isn’t easy, particularly in the beginning, but it has its own set of dominos, the path toward a better life. The hardest part about quitting drinking isn’t the withdrawals or burning the ships. It’s entering the path of the unknown: infinite possibilities exist. You can put the shovel down at any time. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [12:26] Zita is an ICU nurse. She loves cooking, travel, rollerblading, movies, and getting her nails done. She is headed back to school to become a nurse practitioner. Zita’s relationship with alcohol started in her early teens. She was a normal drinker through college. She drank a lot, but it never impacted her school, her relationships, or her ability to function. After college, she started working and a few years in she noticed having anxiety when she was around people which was a shift. After a breakup, she started using alcohol to cope with her emotions. Zita’s family members spoke with her about her drinking, intervention style. She thought about slowing down but quitting never occurred to her at that point. Upon continued reflection, Zita realized she had some unprocessed trauma. She tried naltrexone, Antabuse and Women for Sobriety. Nothing was working. She shifted her approach to working on mental health and took a month off work and started DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) treatment. Mental health support gave her new tools to shift her mindset. The first few months were hard and she nearly relapsed, but she gained some momentum. Today, Zita feels great. She has gained assertiveness, confidence and learned to develop boundaries. She doesn’t have her “old self” back, she has a better life. Zita is proud that she has learned to manage her emotions more effectively. Looking forward, Zita is ex
Mon, October 03, 2022
RE 398: This Moment Always Wins
Episode 398 - This Moment Always Wins Today we have Adam. He is 30, from Vancouver, and took his last drink on February 8, 2013. We have many upcoming events: Costa Rica For Info: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/ Highlights from Paul Paul celebrated his eight-year recovery milestone and is thankful for all the support he gets from listeners, family, friends, and the Café RE community. Paul’s insights include: alcohol is sh!t; addiction is an invitation to make a sweeping change in your life; burning the ships is part of the journey; the opposite of addiction is connection; focus on the wins; admit you are wrong when you need to, in real-time; you have to take action; don’t worry about the sobriety clock, keep doing the work; join the party - the AF movement is taking off; be kind to others, help others; be of service; leverage your drinking problem to expand your life; be mindful of the company you keep; there is nothing wrong with you; not drinking makes you a bad-ass; Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [13:26] Adam has been sober for nearly ten years. He is a personal trainer, nutritionist, breathwork therapist, mental health, and sober coach. He loves cold plunges, spending time in nature, traveling, and spending time with his dogs. Adam grew up in Vancouver and was exposed to addiction early on. He was bullied a lot in high school, which led to anxiety, depression, and insecurity. He was 13 the first time he drank or smoked weed. He knew it wasn’t smart, but it gave him a sense of community. With a long family history of alcohol abuse, Adam knew he was in trouble the first time he drank. Adam got his apartment and car at age 15. He made poor decisions, including steroids, drinking, cocaine, being in a gang, and smoking. After a death threat, he moved to another province, got a job, and his drug use escalated. He sold drugs, and it was attractive to him at the time. He was stabbed during a fight. At 16, a buddy of his died in his arms. Steroid use caused Adam to default to anger frequently. He was aggressive. Adam said it took at least ten wake-up calls before he was ready to address his addiction. He was exposed to a lot of violence and death with the people he spent time with. At 19, during a drug deal, he was kidnapped and held captive by some bad people. During that incident, he had an out-of-body experience. When he was released, he was hospitalized. He crashed when in the hospital. A spiritual awakening occurred for Adam. Adam described it as powerful, and it continues to inspire him to live a better life. The last time he used it was on his 21st birthday. He called his Mom, and she
Mon, September 26, 2022
RE 397: The Ultimate Connection
Episode 397 - The Ultimate Connection Today we have Santino. He is 43, from Massachusetts, and took his last drink 43 days ago. We have many upcoming events: AF Photo Class Restore Regionals Ukulele Costa Rica For Info: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/ Highlights from Paul Paul shares that our actions are felt for seven generations in our lineage. When you quit drinking, do the inner work, the ripple effect can last 150 years. Eckhart Tolle defines love as recognizing oneness in a world of duality. The ego craves separation, judgements. When we are drinking, we are reinforcing that divide. The worst side effect of alcohol is isolation. But when we drop the bottle, we give ourselves a chance to find love, or maybe let love find us. Congratulations Dusty and Lotus on your recent nuptials. Love yourself and love yourself first. Love in recovery can be rediscovering nature, it can be planting a garden, it can be zipping around on a one wheel, it can be learning a new instrument, picking up an old instrument. It can be laughter. Make sure to stay tuned to the end of the episode. Our outro music is from one of our Café Re members, Ron. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [9:50] Santino works for a nonprofit homeless organization; he is married with a son and enjoys being a father. Being present, in the moment and the ability to remember the moment are the early perks of sobriety for Santino. His first taste of alcohol was at age 10. He took a sip of his Dad’s drink and enjoyed the taste. Paul and Santino discussed how college culture and military culture both celebrate drinking. Santino said his drinking was normalized because of the culture of drinking in the military. His wake up calls around drinking came when he left the military. He got his first DWI and went to court ordered AA. He drank before and after the meetings. Santino noticed a pattern of lying, about all kinds of things, but particularly about what he was drinking, when and how much. AA is now part of his life. He has learned to say “alcoholic” to be accountable for what was happening with him. He is well informed about withdrawal and his most recent experience was painful and a reckoning. Santino encourages listeners to be honest with themselves. Give yourself grace AND accountability. He did a 72 hour fast. He listens to the Recovery Elevator podcast. He burned the ships with his childhood friend, his sister and his wife. The Uvalde shooting had a major impact on Santino and became an impetus for him to quit
Mon, September 19, 2022
RE 396: The Brain and Alcohol | Genetic Predisposition
Episode 396 - The Brain and Alcohol – Genetic Predisposition Today we have Rene. He is 33, from California, and took his last drink January 18, 2022. Register for RE’s AF Photo Class: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/afphoto/ SoberLink: https://www.soberlink.com/recovery-elevator Highlights from Paul Alcohol has many biochemical and neurochemical effects on the brain. There are dramatic changes in the neurons that control the release of serotonin when we consume alcohol. Serotonin is the feel-good chemical and 80% of it is created in the gut. When we mix alcohol and serotonin it gets converted into acetaldehyde. This acetaldehyde acts as a toxin. Alcohol changes the relationship between the hypothalamus, the pituitary gland, and the adrenals. The adrenals release chemicals called epinephrine and cortisol, which are involved in the longer-term stress response. People who consistently drink are more stressed out at baseline. They have more cortisol released form their adrenal glands even when they are not drinking. Consequently, they feel more stressed and more anxiety when they are not drinking. Many scientists agree that stress is the number one contributor to disease. When we overload the brain with alcohol, it’s almost too much to process and the activity of neurons in the hippocampus, which is involved with memory formation, are strained and then they completely shut off – that is a blackout. You can still be functioning, some high functioning, but the memory forming part of your brain, the hippocampus, clocks out. Many believe that alcoholism is hereditary. Recent studies, including one of twins conducted by Dr. Gabor Mate indicate genetics may not be as much of a contributor as we once thought. Epigenetics indicate that environment influences gene expression and gene mutations. Science is beginning to accept that environmental factors cause or influence addictions. The ten-fold increase in alcoholism supports that theory. Dr. Andrew Huberman’s podcast provides much more detail on the science behind many of these theories. Take a listen if you would like to learn more: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2ebY3WNejLNbK47emgjd1E?si=bf71f9f038bc4826 Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [14:37] Rene has been sober for over six months. He is 34 and a single Dad He is an entrepreneur and enjoys going to the gym, exploring the outdoors, hiking and the beach. Rene is first generation American, and his family is very supportive. He grew up around drinking, it was normalized. He got drunk once during his senior year of high school. He did
Mon, September 12, 2022
RE 395: Can You Have Fun Without Alcohol?
Episode 395 - Can you have fun without alcohol? Today we have Jim. He is 50, from New York, and has been sober since June 19, 2022. Curious Elixirs: https://curiouselixirs.com/ Highlights from Paul Paul and our listeners would like to hear from prior podcast guests. Please send us a note (approximately 200 words) to let us know how you are doing. We would love an update on your sobriety journey. Email: info@recoveryelevator.com Yes! You can have fun without alcohol. Paul just finished hosting the Bozeman retreat, and it was FUN. One of the highlights was an ecstatic dance party. Imagine 60ish sober people dancing on a basketball court in the afternoon. There was also a silent dance party on the last night. Paul loved watching and participating in pure joy and fun. Sober fun is a learned skill, but it’s worth it. You learn to have fun without an external substance. Life is like a movie. Consider yourself the director. You can guide or nudge it any way you want. Leave room for other actors in your life and let them act their way. It makes the experience rich. If you are not having fun, check your inner narrative. At times we let external rules guide us when we have fun. Forget those rules and have fun now. Stay tuned to the end for a poem written by one of our listeners, and today’s outro music was written and performed by Michael P, a member of Café RE. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:02] Jim has been sober for two weeks. He had almost two years and drank, and now he is back on track. He’s had 699 sober days in the last 700. Jim is married with two kids and loves reading on his front porch. Jim attributes his recent field research to not using his tools. Growing up, Jim drank in high school with his buddies. The quest for beer was their primary goal. College was more of the same. After college, it didn’t feel as good. Drinking is part of his work culture and was celebrated. His first attempt at sobriety was at age 25. He stayed sober for three months, then returned to drinking. It was part of his job, his social circles, and his life always included drinking. Alcohol pushed back his fears. In his early 40s, he started to realize he had a problem but didn’t know how to go about quitting. He didn’t love AA. By 45, he knew his drinking had become unsustainable. Drinking was like a low-grade hum that perpetually played for him. He began drinking alone at home, where nobody would bother him, and he could drink like he wanted. Gradually he began exploring sobriety. He would accumulate a few months and do more field research. He read “This Naked Mind.”
Mon, September 05, 2022
RE 394: Fixin' to Grow
Episode 394 - Fixin’ to Grow Today we have Kristie. She is 47, from Michigan, and has been sober since May 2020. Ditch the Booze/Mindfulness and AF Photography 101: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Highlights from Kris Return to school is here and is the catalyst for conversations about expectations. Growing up, the letter on the report card was the measure of success. Kris has begun to consider praising the work instead of the result. Neuroscientists have identified two different mindsets: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset. A fixed mindset looks at intelligence as static. The effort is pointless – you’ve got it, or you don’t. It’s all about the result. The growth mindset is more about a learning goal. The effort is seen as a path to mastery. What is your goal in recovery? Language matters. Think about the metrics. If you are fixed on being alcohol-free and have a slip, you might feel like a failure. Embrace the growth in yourself and let that be enough. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:29] Kristie has been surise for two years. The word sober doesn’t resonate with Kristy. She wants to be fun and exciting and enjoy every moment. Kristie believes that language creates our reality. Through journaling, she came up with the word surise – it brings her energy, light, and love. Kristie believes surise is yours – the opportunity to be your authentic self. Kristie is from West Michigan and is an academic advisor. She is married and has two daughters. She loves traveling, the beach, the woods, nature, and connecting with people. Growing up, her parents rarely drank, but they did smoke. After her parents’ divorce, she assumed much responsibility for her younger brothers. She was the conduit between her parents. She was involved in theater, student government, and dancing. Kristie went to college and was ready to rescind the role of the responsible oldest child. Earning a degree was essential to Kristie. She went to school and partied and enjoyed drinking and being social. She adopted the work hard, play hard mentality and always drank to get a buzz. She put herself into some risky situations and was raped. Alcohol helped numb the pain, and she learned to carry on. Kristie met her husband in college, and drinking was part of their relationship. Drinking was a coping mechanism for the stress of parenting. Over the years, her drinking progressed from beer to wine to vodka. After her father died, Kristie’s drinking became very dark. Drinking was a reward, a way to avoid loneliness, and it served many purposes.</
Mon, August 29, 2022
RE 393: Hello Listeners
Episode 393 - Hello Listeners Today we have Alina. She is 32, from Northern California, and has been sober since June 20, 2022. Fire Brew: https://www.drinkfirebrew.com/ Ditch the Booze/Mindfulness: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Highlights from Paul If you are in a cycle of continuous Day ones, keep showing up and listening to the podcast. We believe in you. If you have quit drinking, don't forget incredible short memory can get us any time. Don't look back. That old way of life didn't work. Keep building the new. If you are a normal drinker here to support someone, we are glad you are here. The opposite of addiction is connection, and we appreciate your support. The healing process is a collaborative effort that requires both parties to come together. If you are in your teens or twenties, you are learning vital lessons and building resilience. When the dust settles, and your normal drinker friends begin to phase out of the party years as they marry and have kids, you will have acquired unique life skills that your friends don't have. Your unique skills revolve around presence, listening to your intuition, taking life as it comes, loving yourself and others. You're more grounded. Your roots go deeper. Also, be patient. I think it's harder to quit drinking at a younger age, but with time, and each year around the sun, some of those challenges get easier. Time is working in your favor. If you treat or support someone who struggles with, what is addiction? Addictions are adaptive behaviors leveraged to survive in unhealthy environments. Addictions are present when something is out of balance or not in harmony with our environment. Keep the thinking mind in check. The mind has 60,00-70,000 thoughts per day, and science has shown that most of them are not valid. Keep doing the inner work, find your people, and show the world how it's done. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [13:04] Alina has been sober for two weeks. She has three kids, loves being outside, cooking, and reading. She immigrated to the US from Ukraine, is the youngest of seven, and had her first drink at age 16. Growing up, she had the impression that an alcoholic was someone who drank every day. In 2018, Alina had her first blackout. She resolved to do something different. She listened to "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace. Moderation never worked. During the pandemic, Alina went on vacation to Mexico and drank daily. Alina continued to learn about recovery, and she learned to see the similarities in other people's stories. She is an active memb
Mon, August 22, 2022
RE 392: One Week Without Alcohol
Episode 392 - One Week Without Alcohol. Today we have Megan. She is 34, from Florida, and has been sober since June 22, 2021. Gruvi: https://www.getgruvi.com/ Highlights from Paul Stacking days, which is a day here, and a couple of days there, is fantastic, but your body and mind will respond faster to continuous sobriety, and I think a week is the most doable chunk of time. I know for me, even 30 days was overwhelming. Day 1: Drink water, then more water. Eat at least one full, healthy meal. Your body is detoxing today. Anxiety is part of this. Embrace the process. Remember the pain. Exercise will help with sleep. Sleep won't be great, and night sweats are expected. Expect cravings, and ice cream is your friend. Day 2: Expect to be tired, exhausted, and anxious. Drink water, sleep, eat ice cream and worry about sugar later. Day 3: Sleep should improve and welcome back appetite. Eat a healthy breakfast. Day 4: Your body is healing. Drink water, sleep and eat (sugar does help with cravings.) Day 5: What happened? You may be sleeping better, and you are hungry. Eat some healthy food and don't worry about calories. Your brain is coming back on, which has two sides: your cognition is better, and the thinking mind is on overdrive. Day 6: Your confidence is building, and your energy begins to return. Inflammation begins to dissipate. Day 7: Sleep! Cellular restoration. Mental clarity improves. Tips for week one: Drink plenty of water Exercise for at least 20 minutes. It gets endorphins going Eat at least one meal with healthy greens Put pen to paper and capture your insights Remember, it's a week and not forever. Seven days is the start of the healing process. Your seven days await – go get 'em. Paul describes PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) in this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esHLnz-BUXw&t=1s Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [15:40] Megan has been sober for over a year. She lives in Orlando, has two kids, is a social worker, and is getting a master's in criminal justice. She loves to travel and has been to 25 countries. She loves the beach, music, theater, working out, and theme parks. Megan grew up in a conservative religious home with no alcohol in the house. Her grandfather was a recovering alcoholic. Alcohol was a big part of her family history, and Megan experienced a lot of generational trauma. Megan's father passed away when she was 15, and her childhood abruptly ended. Coincidentally she had her first drink that year. <
Mon, August 15, 2022
RE 391: What do You Want to Hear?
Episode 391 - What do you Want? Today we have Polly. She is 50, from Minnesota, and has been sober since December 23, 2021. Ditch the Booze Mindfulness Course starts 9/20.: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Recovery Fit – Paul Lapine. Lapine Fitness Center. https://Lapinefit.com/recoveryfit Insta:Paul_Lapine_ Highlights from Paul Paul shares that he created the podcast to create a new level of accountability for himself when he quit drinking. He is grateful for his listeners and proud of how the podcast has evolved since the first recording. Paul would like to hear more from listeners about what they want to hear during the intro portion of the podcast. Email Paul at: info@recoveryelevator.com Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:09] Polly has been sober for six months. She is a high school English teacher, has two daughters, and has been married for 24 years. She enjoys animals, running, the outdoors, camping, and family adventures. Polly's parents drank, but not to excess. Turning 21 was a right of passage, and Polly waited to drink until then. In college, Polly partied, partially as an act of rebellion. After graduating, drinking was a weekend social thing but not an issue. Polly's husband was not a daily drinker, which was initially a red flag. There was drinking everywhere, from sporting events to book clubs to unwinding from work. As time progressed, Polly started hiding how much she drank from her husband. She slowly started gaining weight, and drinking/eating/negative emotions became a spiral for Polly. Polly's husband asked her to get treatment and told her she was on the verge of losing her family, friends, and job. She was in treatment over the Christmas holiday. She was violently ill during detox, and the detox nurse told her never to forget how sick she was. She appreciated how much people embraced her during treatment. She vowed to herself that she would give back and described treatment as the best experience of her life. After leaving treatment, Polly leveraged the tools she learned in treatment and recognized that cravings are temporary. Alcohol still calls to her at six months sober, but she works on it daily. Her husband quit drinking a week before Polly went into treatment, which made her home more supportive. Polly is outspoken about her cravings and regularly asks for help. She attends AA meetings; she has a sober community and is transparent about her addiction with those close to her. She talks to her daughters regularly about her addiction. Polly hopes her experience ends her family'
Mon, August 08, 2022
RE 390: The Secret to Change
Episode 390 - The Secret to Change Today we have Jess. She is 37, from Ontario, and has been sober since May 7, 2022. Ditch the Booze Mindfulness Course starts 9/20.: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Recovery Fit – Paul Lapine. Lapine Fitness Studio. https://lapinefitness.totaltransformationtoday.com/ Insta:Paul_Lapine_ Highlights from Paul YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT! Anyone who doesn’t quit quitting eventually creates distance from alcohol. “The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not fighting the old, but building the new.” Socrates. This journey is about transformation. It’s an invitation to create a life where alcohol isn’t needed. It’s about letting part of you go. It’s about saying goodbye to the aspects of your life that aren’t working, Paul suggests fighting the old is a waste, and addiction is a messenger letting you know your life is out of balance. Desperation leads to surrender, which leads to openness and willingness. Don’t resist change as it is one constant you can count on. Music Submissions - email edited versions to: info@recoveryelevator.com Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:31] Jess has been sober for two months. She is an accountant for a rehab hospital and enjoys reading, camping, cooking, and paddleboarding with her dog. She lives in Ontario, Canada, and has two children. Jess came from a family of drinkers. Her Dad was a heavy drinker. She started experimenting with alcohol in her early teens. At age 14, her Dad died suddenly, and her Mom’s mental health deteriorated as a result. Jess hosted parties and smoked pot. Since her family didn’t talk about things, drinking was an escape. All her friends drank and smoked, so it seemed commonplace. At one point, she started skipping school, and her sister intervened. Jess slowed down and appreciated the attention from her sister. After high school, she took some random jobs and habitually stopped working, excusing her behavior with feigned sicknesses. She made lots of excuses but never addressed the root problem. She quit her jobs before she got fired. Her temper flared when her drinking hit a certain point, and she became a monster. Jess moved back in with her Mom to curb expenses, and her drinking slowed slightly. Six months later, she moved in with her boyfriend, and they were drinking buddies. Jess got pregnant and abstained throughout her pregnancy but picked up again as soon as the baby was born. She bought into the “mommy wine culture .”Her Mom had dementia. Being around someone with deme
Mon, August 01, 2022
RE 389: Journal Speak
Episode 389 - Journal Speak Today we have Christy. She is 42, from Denmark, and has been sober since April 5, 2022. Costa Rica 2023: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica2023/ Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Paul Paul talks about “journal speak,” an informal, off-the-cuff style of journaling. The point is to get unprocessed, uncomfortable emotions out of you. It makes you feel less alone and more connected to yourself. This is a significant component connecting with the raw, unheard, vulnerable, pissed-off version of you. When you feel a craving coming on, this is one of the best times to do this because a part of you is screaming to be heard. Paul suggests starting with 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night. Make it informal, with no spelling or grammar check, and toss or burn it when you finish. Generally, you will find that you feel better and have cleared your mind. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:58] Christy has been sober for eighty days. She lives in Denmark, is from North Carolina, and is an agile coach in IT. She is married with two children, Christy describes herself as a boring child who didn’t get into trouble. She was active in sports and music. Alcohol was always present in her life. She remembers the DARE program in high school and decided to avoid drugs and alcohol. She met her husband and married young. Christy drank socially, but there were no red flags. In 2004, her father was diagnosed with lung cancer. He was age 47. Christy knew she needed to be strong. He passed in 2007. Unaware of how to process the grief, Christy pushed through, went through some counseling, and had a baby. After giving birth, she experienced anxiety and high blood pressure. She spiraled downward. Alcohol was a great way to shut down her brain. She gave birth to her second son and immediately returned to drinking and felt okay because the Mommy wine culture made it alright. When moving to Denmark, she knew she needed to address her drinking because she had started sneaking alcohol. The geographic solution didn’t work. The trauma of her Dad’s death brought on emotions Christy could not process. She began taking days off and going to the liquor store early while her husband was at work and her kids were in school. Her drinking progressed, and she could secretly consume a whole bottle of wine. Her panic attacks got worse, and she didn’t realize it was the progression of her drinking that was causing the panic attacks. Christy told her doctor about her problem. She started listening to recovery
Mon, July 25, 2022
RE 388: Who Do I Think I Am?
Episode 388 - Identity Today we have Liz. She is 55, from Bend, OR, and has been sober for five months. Ditch the Booze Mindfulness and AF Photography. www.recoveryelevator.com/events Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Kris After returning from a trip to DC, Kris realized that connecting his identity to his accomplishments is something he left behind. Presenting his achievements as a “Who I Am” was typical for Kris when he was in active addiction. Kris hoped that showing others the good in him might help him to see the good in himself. Approval seeking was directly linked to his self-worth and what others thought of him. This created conflict because Kris felt like he was leading a double life: the list of accomplishments he shared with others and the poor self-esteem that felt more like the “real Kris.” Ultimately, Kris hit a tipping point that led to his recovery. During those early days, he identified with the bad things he had done while drinking. With treatment, counseling, and spiritual support, Kris learned that he was responsible for his harmful behavior but eventually realized that what he did wasn’t who he was. He had to clean up, but he gained clarity on what he did vs. who he is. Kris found a new identity in recovery. The greater good prevails, and instead of looking for an atta boy, he tries to connect to how he can be part of something bigger. Kris asks listeners where they find their identity? Does it bring you peace? Can you make shifts in your identity without shame? Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:45] Liz has been sober for five months. She is from California, has two dogs, works for a healthcare start-up, and enjoys entertaining, cooking, gardening, and music. Alcohol was part of Liz’s life from an early age. She described a lot of drama and trauma in her childhood. She developed a fear of drinking while observing her parent’s drinking. Liz and Kris talked about the behaviors we develop in childhood because of trauma and learning to give yourself grace as you reconcile those behaviors and learn healthier ones. They discussed how shame doesn’t support your recovery. They also talked about surrender being an essential step in recovering yourself. Liz relies on Recovery Elevator and Café RE, meditation, self-care, recovery tools, and community to support her sobriety. Kris’s Summary Kris talks about embracing challenges and turning them around to support the greater good. Move forward with grace, love and encouragement.
Mon, July 18, 2022
RE 387: Why Some Make it, and Some Don't
Episode 387 - Why Some Make it, and Some Don’t Today we have Becca. She is 43, from Montana, and took her last drink on September 18, 2017. Sober Travel Update – Costa Rica 2023. Stay tuned for dates. www.recoveryelevator.com/events Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Paul Paul believes that taking responsibility for your drinking or choosing not to be a victim increases your likelihood of “making it” L.” listening to this podcast means that you are open to new ideas, pathways, resources, and a new outlook on life. Paul suggests telling yourself that you will make it or are already there. Awareness that you have a drinking problem is the beginning, then ownership of the solution. Paul believes a drinking problem is an invitation to a new life. Never quit quitting. Paul says yes, you are going to make it. You are already making it. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [11:07] Becca has been sober for nearly five years. Becca worked for 18 years as a chef/bartender. She rescues dogs, loves art, and reading. She went from food addiction to alcohol in her early twenties. She had a gastric bypass in 2005. She pre-gamed a bottle of booze before going out with her friends. She was able to lose 268 pounds and kept it off, but she was able to drink a lot of alcohol. Becca describes several signs on the way to quitting drinking. She eventually went to Great Falls for inpatient treatment. After 17 years of constant drinking, the strict rehab included a lot of self-discoveries, and she had to earn privileges. The physical withdrawal was difficult because she was having seizures. Becca transitioned over to sober living. Shame was part of her inner dialogue. After eight months of sober living, she began working out. She opened her first business. Becca’s life is so much better. She would rather be involved in a national disaster than go back to her rock bottom with alcohol. Recovery isn’t black and white. Routine is important, but she has learned to embrace the challenges that come with everyday life. She can hear the birds and the river in ways she hadn’t before. Daily reflections, post-it reminders, journaling, embracing nature, equine therapy, and surrounding herself with healthy support have been critical to maintaining sobriety. At five months sober, Becca was able to testify against someone who beat her up. She moved to Gardiner, MT, and fell in love with the area. She studied coffee, created her own coffee recipe, and is proud to serve the best coffee on earth. She has strained out the things she no longer needs. Che
Mon, July 11, 2022
RE 386: The One Mistake People Make When Quitting Drinking
Episode 386 - The One Mistake People Make When Quitting Drinking Today we have Shad. He is 46, from Indiana, and took his last drink on March 19, 2021. Café RE Open House Chat: July 16, 2016, at 12 ET. Join Zoom: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83057111516 ? pwd=NlJyaFdtZ0RBYnhMaytxbkdRU2tMdz09 Meeting ID: 830 5711 1516 Passcode: recovery Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Paul Don’t quit drinking without learning coping strategies, understanding why you drink in the first place, and get some tools for your recovery toolbox. Don’t sell yourself short on how rich your life can be without alcohol. Say yes, to as many recovery opportunities as you can. Books, podcasts, quit lit, retreats, spiritual teachers, music, chats, meetings. Some of it is work. These investments of time into yourself will pay HUGE in the future. A whole new world awaits you after the bottle. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored [10:50] Shad has been sober for 433 days. He is married with five children, three grandchildren, and three dogs. He loves skateboarding, archery, trail running, and anything outside. He describes nature as his church, particularly above the timberline. Shad experienced severe child abuse in early childhood and was from a family with a history of addiction to drugs and alcohol. His grandfather was a friend, a father figure, and a heavy drinker. Shad created chaos with alcohol. After his divorce, he doubled down on alcohol; then, he tried to drink himself to death after his grandfather passed. Shad lost his brother to a drug overdose. Consequences were minimal for Shad. His first wake-up call was waking up to an empty gallon bottle of whiskey. A year later, running inspired him. He started running longer distances. The stride, footfalls, and measured breathing were meditative for Shad. He still had not dealt with his emotions. He stopped drinking in 2014, ate clean, started ultra-running, and completed a 100-mile run. His ego kicked in, and he drank again because he thought he could handle it now. He got drunk on the eve of his wedding and again on his wedding day. Shad didn’t believe he had a drinking problem; he thought he had a depression problem. Running replaced alcohol for those 2.5 years. After his honeymoon, he tried several attempts at moderation. It worked until it didn’t, then he went downhill fast. Shad describes himself as addicted to everything – he can’t have just one. Gradually his drinking progressed. His middle son developed a drinking problem observin
Mon, July 04, 2022
RE 385: You're Free
Episode 385 - You’re Free Today we have Steve. He is 34, from Boston, MA, and took his last drink on February 18, 2021. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Bozeman Retreat Upcoming Courses: AF Photography and AF Mindfulness Service Project Courses: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Bozeman Retreat: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/ Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month. #sponsored Highlights from Paul An elementary view of freedom is free will or doing what you want. A more rewarding form of freedom includes commitments, discipline, and boundaries for extended periods. Freedom also includes sleep, routine, forgiveness, being present, being of service, overcoming fear, and adding value. Freedom gives you choices; the most important choice is to be your authentic self. [8:40] Steve has been sober for over a year. Steve’s parents were born in El Salvatore, and Steve is first generation American. In college, he stumbled upon neuroscience. He enjoys running, boxing and music. A classmate passed, and the grief and mystery around his death felt impossible to process at the time. Alcohol put noise cancellation on his thoughts, his anxiety, and the reality of death. Steve never grieved. Over the years, his drinking progressed from weekends to weekdays to whenever he wasn’t working. He learned quickly he couldn’t have 1-2 drinks. Moderation didn’t work. Last year on his birthday, he drank to excess in front of his parents, siblings, and partner. He resolved you quit drinking. You get to keep everything else or give up everything and keep drinking. Steve attempted moderation. Eventually, he went to therapy to learn how to navigate his feelings, anxiety, and urge to drink. He realized he had a family history of alcohol abuse and anxiety. On a particularly bad day, his friends expressed concern and suggested some things to explore. After his first Café Re meeting, Steve felt more comfortable with his thoughts; that was his Day 1. The RE community gave Steve the push he needed. Listening to others, he felt accepted, nourished, and supported. He described never feeling more human and letting vulnerability take center stage. Day count fell aside, and it became “no matter what.” Steve’s non-negotiables started with not letting alcohol influence his work. Now it’s about being present and letting life happen. Paul’s Summary Declare freedom over alcohol. Never quit quitting. Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our ev
Mon, June 27, 2022
RE 384: The Path of Least Resistance
Episode 384 - The path of least resistance Today we have Matt. He is 40, from Edmonton, Canada, and took his last drink on April 8, 2019. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Café RE Chats: https://recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Highlights from Paul Sobriety is the path of least resistance. Moderation was miserable, and drinking is killing me. Paul describes his own experiences with moderation and points out that with moderation, you continue to have decision fatigue and only moderately heal. Moderation is often a step along the journey toward ditching the booze. The path of least resistance means – you won't get a DUI or be sent home from work because you smell like booze. Your sleep improves, your liver health improves along with your connections and relationships, and you enjoy more fun (and skittles). Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [13:06] Matt has been sober for three years. He is a recovery coach, engaged, and enjoys music, nature, hiking, camping, and his dogs. He is learning about sound therapy and how music can influence your mindset. Matt came from a family of heavy drinkers. He remembers listening to the excitement of the adults' conversations while drinking when he was young. He was often given sips of beer if it felt exciting. As a teenager, music became a way to express himself. The rock and roll lifestyle complimented the music, which included booze. Drinking helped Matt to overcome his shyness and awkwardness. His early 20s presented the perfect storm of opportunities to drink excessively. He went from a happy-go-lucky drunk to having a chip on his shoulder. He began to recognize his drinking habits were changing. A breakup with his girlfriend sent him into a tailspin of depression, and his drinking escalated. External pressure to quit drinking led to rebellion, and Matt learned that change had to come from within. Matt was hospitalized with acute pancreatitis after a drinking binge. He continued to drink and had another health incident. He took some time off work and launched it with a bender, then turned to a friend to bring him to an AA meeting. His first meeting was a profound emotional/spiritual shift that led him to over three years of sobriety. Matt's firsts during his first year of sobriety was difficult and rewarding. It was his first opportunity as an adult to experience life without alcohol. Self-help books, podcasts, and a growth mindset helped him embrace sobriety. He was quiet about his sobriety. At a friend's wedding, he had a shot of tequila, and the wave of the high hit him quickly. He had a creative outburst and wrote t
Mon, June 20, 2022
RE 383: Chapter 4 - Clearing Space
Episode 383 - Clearing space Today we have Phillip. He is 46 and took his last drink on February 28, 2019. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Bozeman Retreat: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Early Recovery Podcast Guests: email info@recoveryelevator.com Highlights from Paul It's hard to visualize a sober life when you are still drinking because your body is using every drop of energy to get rid of the poison that is alcohol from your body. Paul suggests once you ditch the booze, sit back and be the observer to watch your life unfold and resist the urge to control everything. In his eighth year of sobriety, Paul bought a home in Costa Rica, a longtime dream. After quitting, his life became a blank canvas, and now he is exploring his love for nature in his new home – which would not have been possible if he was still drinking. Paul feels connected to his inner child and is grateful for his life today. In chapter 4, Paul wants to showcase listeners' talents. Feel free to send an edited MP3 file in under 3 minutes to info@recoveryelevator.com, and you may hear yourself on the podcast. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [12:55] Phillip lives in Minneapolis, lives with his partner, has no kids, and works as an attorney. He is a marathon runner. Phillip started drinking in college. As life unfolded, he noticed drinking was part of all his life activities, from work to time with friends. He realized he drank every day, even the night before running a marathon. In 2017, he started to question if he had a problem. The thought of quitting drinking felt like quitting fun. In 2018, Philip decided to explore his relationship with alcohol as his New Year's resolution. He quit for four months with few problems. He kept a diary that tracked his cravings and triggers. He drank during a vacation which ended his streak. He found several reasons to start and stop. By the end of 2018, he returned to daily drinking and stopped keeping his diary, and brandy was his drink of choice. He noticed he was gaining weight, and his depression was worsening. He realized that moderation was a challenge. Choosing to drink or not drink daily was exhausting and caused decision fatigue. Phillip's sleep was terrible; one day, he found himself drinking at 3 AM so he could sleep … two hours before a run. It occurred to him that he was now drinking in the morning. As he reflected on his behavior, he saw three paths: continue drinking, moderate, or abstain altogether. He concluded that quitting was the past of least resistance because moderation invol
Mon, June 13, 2022
RE 382: So Now What?
Episode 382– So now what? Today we have Ryan. He is 40, from Denver, and took his last drink on January 7, 2013. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Bozeman Retreat: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Highlights from Paul Recovery Elevator Newsletter: https://recoveryelevator.com Paul shares Odette’s wise words, “we can’t be hard on ourselves when we do hard things.” He also examines those who abuse alcohol and the correlation with being hard on ourselves. Could the pace you are setting for yourself be driving you to drink? Not drinking isn’t an activity. I quit drinking, so now what? You are making space for a new chapter in your life. A theme you will find in that chapter is your relationship with yourself. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [11:15] Ryan has been sober for over nine years. He is the founder of Free Spiritual Community for addicts to break the cycle of addiction. He is married and has four kids. He loves being outside, the mountains, travel, and family life. Ryan has been in ministry for 14 years, and sobriety brought him a spiritual awakening. He went to bible school, and during the first month, his brother was killed in a car accident. The addiction began to take over. Alcohol helped Ryan deal with pain, fear, and uncertainty. He experienced shame and fundamentally did not like himself as a person. Ryan didn’t know how to stop the pain or creating pain. While in the seminary, his drinking escalated. One Christmas Eve, his sister asked him not to come around anymore because she didn’t want her kids to see him drunk. He describes putting on a mask, so nobody could see who he was. Ryan describes the grace that helped him connect to his relationship with God, knowing that God was there during his addiction. Admitting that he was spiritually disconnected created spiritual freedom that changed his life. Shame, anger, and self-hatred helped him connect to God and explore a different way of life. An intervention from his wife made the difference. She used the word “we,” and knowing he didn’t have to do it alone propelled him into recovery. Nine years in, Ryan still practices letting go. He began his journey in 12-step programs, and he went from sitting in the back of the room to actively engaging, getting vulnerable, and being of service. Today, Ryan and his wife have a church filled with addicts, loved ones of addicts, and spiritual refugees, https://freespiritualcommunity.com. Insta: freespiritualcommunity, YouTube: freespiritual community. https
Mon, June 06, 2022
RE 381: We're All Addicted to Something
Episode 381– We are all addicted to something Today we have Amy. She is 39, from Canada, and took her last drink on August 21, 2016 Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Paul Paul talks about a book he is reading called, The Urge. It's about an Indian in the Seneca Tribe named Handsome Lake. He developed a program similar to AA about 150 years before Bill W and Dr. Bob created AA. Connection pulled people out of addiction. The Urge: https://amzn.to/37KVS3Y Paul describes an experience at a Sauna in the hot springs where a group of men started talking about addiction. It began with one man sharing that he had ten years without a drink and moved to Montana for a fresh start. After he burned the ships, the other men in the sauna talked about their struggle to control substances beyond alcohol and drugs. When one person opens up and shares from the heart, it gives others a safe space to do the same. Paul reminds us: 1) It's a challenging universe to live in; 2) we are all addicts trying to survive, and 3) we all need help. Continue exploring coping strategies, and you will find the ones that work for you. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [10:55] Amy has been sober for six years. She is from Toronto, Canada, and works as a sobriety and mindset coach. She loves reading, cycling, traveling, cross stitching, is single, queer, and has a cat. Amy started drinking at 16 and grew up in a family dealing with addiction. Alcohol relieved Amy from the trauma and complication of her parent's separation and divorce. She was hiding alcohol and drinking alone very early into her drinking. The volume and frequency of her drinking progressed rapidly, and she was prone to blackouts. Externally she was high functioning. Internally, she struggled quite a bit. Amy was overcome with grief after her dad's sudden death, and her drinking escalated to cope with her volatile emotions. She achieved six months of consecutive sobriety and committed to being done with drinking. Her first attempts included moderation, rewards, and bargaining, which continued for a year. In 2015, questions started to emerge for Amy, forcing her to examine her drinking. Amy became a coach and learned to share her story more publicly. She now helps other women create change for themselves. She has taken her life and her power back. Breaking the cycle of addiction has been very empowering for Amy. Compassion and sadness have become her primary emotions. Compassion for her father and sadness for what she went through and what might have been had her childhood been more stable. S
Mon, May 30, 2022
RE 380: What is Sober?
Episode 380– What is Sober? Today we have Shrene. She is 46, from Arizona, and took her last drink on September 10, 2019 AF Photography Class for beginners will start in August. Details to follow. AF Ukelele Course #2 starts in June. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Paul Paul talks about the word sober. For this podcast, sober refers to alcohol, because alcohol is what got Paul behind the microphone to launch Recovery Elevator. Paul suggests not getting too attached to any idea of what sober looks like. It’s not about the substance, but the freedom you have from the substance. Try not to judge others for their definition of sober, because it’s rarely black and white. When you judge others, you judge yourself and create separation. Defining sobriety can be a fool’s errand. Sobriety is living authentically. Sobriety is not being a slave, to a substance, behavior, or action. Sobriety is living your life how you want to live, living with a connected head and heart, recognizing beauty, art, sunsets, a different vibration. Sobriety is hope, taking off the chains, meeting yourself, a manageable life. Sobriety is “downgrading additions.” Sarah Hepola - Blackout https://www.amazon.com/Blackout-Remembering-Things-Drank-Forget/dp/1455554588 If you remove alcohol and aren’t ready to say goodbye to everything else, go slow, take your time, and listen to your body. There is no right or wrong way to do this, and there is no generally accepted definition of sobriety. At Recovery Elevator, we accept all versions of sober. We accept all versions of you. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [12:04] Shrrene is married with two children, two dogs and is a lunch lady who makes lunch for 700 kids daily. Shrrene remembers drinking as early as age three to four. She drank through her high school years. She stopped drinking when she got married at age 16 and she stopped drinking until after her son was born at age 26. She was a casual drinker. At 40, she started drinking daily. She would sneak her drinking, hide bottles, and hide in her closet to drink. She quit during her pregnancy. She had open heart surgery at 39, then had a stroke. At age 41 she had a second open heart surgery but continued to drink. Her husband brought an AA Big Book home from an Al-Anon meeting. Her husband joined Celebrate Recovery and she joined him for meetings. She began to moderate but went back to field research regularly until 2019. Shrrene got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Prayer was instrumental for getting
Mon, May 23, 2022
RE 379: Doing Your Part
Episode 379 – Service Today we have Aaron. He is 40, from South Carolina, and took his last drink on September 15, 2021. Jeff was interviewed for the podcast on episodes 104 and 377, has a book out, and is now leading sober travel trips. See links below. Finding Bishop Castle: A Road Trip to Recovery -- https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Bishop-Castle-Road-Recovery/dp/0578882612/ref=sr_1_1?crid=350FVMX9SZBRI&keywords=finding+bishop+castle+jeff+bowersox&qid=1649339640&sprefix=Finding+Bishop+%2Caps%2C213&sr=8-1#customerReviews Afterglow Recovery - https://ourafterglow.com Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Paul Paul talks about the benefits of service and climate change in recovery. Service gets you out of your head and out of your story. Dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin are released when we help others. Climate change could save us as a species by forcing us to work together and develop a collective strategy. Alcoholics can help because there’s one thing we can do that others can’t, and that’s meeting as a group, putting all our differences aside, and talking about healing, recovery, and LOVE. Paul wants climate change to unite us instead of dividing us. He is encouraging Recovery Elevator listeners to plant a tree, take a picture and tag us on Instagram @recoveryelevator. “The true meaning of life is to plant trees under the shade you don’t expect to sit.” Nelson Henderson Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [15:06] Aaron has been sober for seven months and is married with two kids. He has an athletic household. He loves cooking, sports, and power yoga. Alcohol wasn’t part of his life until his senior year of high school. When he went to college, binge drinking was the norm. Alcohol came with comradery for Aaron. All his memories with his friends involved alcohol. At 23, he totaled a car after drinking to excess. He quit for a month after the accident. When he started working, he got an outside sales job involving entertaining customers. Both his work and his social life revolved around drinking. At times it felt like an obligation. His tolerance built up, and it never occurred to him to stop. His wife noticed and began to comment on his drinking. Aaron said to drink as he wanted meant being drunk. He saw a therapist specializing in addiction who helped him see several things. Aaron’s 40th birthday was enough of a nudge to get him to address his drinking. His wife bought him a ten pack of hot yoga classes, and he went to his first one on his birthday. Odette and Aa
Mon, May 16, 2022
RE 378: Finding Grace
Episode 378 – Finding Grace Today we have Susan. She is 46, from Ohio, and took her last drink on June 14, 2019. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Odette "Whatever courage got you here is going to take you far." You are brave, and you have courage. Learn to trust yourself. Define far for yourself. The unfolding of healing takes time, have patience with yourself. Odette has two sentences of a poem on her forearm: "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." Those words are a reminder of her strength, courage, and perseverance. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [09:20] Susan has been sober for nearly three years. She is speaking on the podcast to get out of her comfort zone and overcome some complacency in her sobriety. Susan is married and lives in Ohio with a stepson and two dogs. She works for an investment company and loves the outdoors, the beach, paddle boarding, running, and Jeopardy. Susan grew up in a house of addiction and described it as WWIII. Her father was an abusive alcoholic. Her parents tended to numb out and not deal with anything. She realizes now many of her behaviors result from a trauma response. Susan was often the caretaker for her mom, so the roles were reversed. She partied a fair amount in her twenties. Her mom died, and her sister was diagnosed with lung cancer. Her sister and brother-in-law died within seven months of one another. Susan retreated into her addiction. All the grief and pain from losing her sister was overwhelming. Addiction was like a cocoon for Susan. It became so uncomfortable, and she had to stop. Susan tried naltrexone, but she wasn't ready to quit. Shame kept her drinking for some time, and in retrospect, Susan regrets that she didn't ask for help. Alan Carr's book podcasts and terror helped her to quit for good. Two months into sobriety, she attended Recovery Elevator's Bozeman retreat. At Bozeman, Susan learned that community is essential. Susan struggled to share her recovery with her drinking friends. She often said she was "on a cleanse." Susan describes recovery as a radical act of self-love. Her progress in the last 3-years eclipses her progress in the previous ten. She is learning to get uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. Meditation, gratitude practice, and Women for Sobriety zoom meetings are essential sobriety tools for Susan. She suggests getting clear on your "why" to reinforce your commitment to recovery. Susan believes you are worth it and deserve to be happy and have some peace. Kris' Summary Kris encourages
Mon, May 09, 2022
RE 377: Your Favorites
Episode 377 – Your favorites Today we have Jeff. He is 47, from the Dominican Republic, and took his last drink on December 4, 2016. Bozeman Retreat: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/ Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Paul Listeners provided highlights of some of their favorite episodes of the Recovery Elevator podcast. 330 – Learn to love yourself as your dog (or cat) loves you. You have a certain amount of energy and days in your life, and it is your choice on what to spend it on. 207 and 220 – Tom Topp inspired a listener to see social anxiety as a similarity. Another listener helped her learn that the body does heal from elevated liver enzymes without alcohol. Another listener couldn't name one episode but instead said, sharing your story and recovering out loud helps shred the shame of addiction. It made me realize that I'm not alone, and together we can fight and overcome this! 370 Stephanie – a listener, learned to put the same energy into her recovery that she did into drinking. Odette speaking about her relapse was also powerful Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [15:21] Jeff feels great, thanks to five years of sobriety. He is married and splits time between Colorado and the Dominican Republic. He has a concierge service for people in recovery to enjoy a beach vacation without the triggers of alcohol. Jeff's services help sober experience sober fun. Jeff experimented with alcohol as a teenager and described alcohol as a warm hug. He married at 18 and put alcohol on the sidelines to become a provider. In his mid-thirties, Jeff spiraled into self-pity. After DUI's and jail time, it took him several years to embrace recovery. He remarried and was a grey area drinker, until his drinking was problematic again. Codependency caused Jeff to take on identities for other people. In sobriety, he started to get to know himself. When triggered, he asks his wife for help. Jeff listened to ninety episodes of the Recovery Elevator podcast in thirty days. Stubbornness helped to make sobriety stick. Writing is a great tool for Jeff and posting in Café Re provides him with great feedback. Collecting the sober moments retrains the synapses in your brain to have different responses to triggering events. Odette's Summary You can handle this. Remember that you are not alone and together is always better. Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events</
Mon, May 02, 2022
RE 376: You Can be Right or You Can Have Peace Part II
Episode 376 – You can be right, or you can have peace – Part 2 Today we have Ronda. She is 56, from New Orleans, and sober for 2.5 years. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Paul We are all human, with faulty machines in the dome. It's okay to be right or want to be right, especially in the moment. Sobriety teaches us that we must choose peace. We don't have to choose peace immediately, but eventually, we must, or we develop resentments. Resentments, for many of us, can kill us. Why? Resentments separate us. Disconnect us. And what's the opposite of addiction—connection. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [10:23] Ronda and Odette discussed the sobriety journey and celebrating the decision to quit vs. the date of your last drink. Ronda is from New Orleans and recently moved to Colorado. She has three grown children, and she is an anesthesiologist. She loves sailing, hiking, and traveling. Ronda's first addiction was an eating disorder. She coped with stress and shame with food. She recovered from the eating disorder at age 30, and alcohol became a problem. She got a DWI in her mid-forties. Ronda said she ignored all the signs. She didn't want to have a drinking problem. The culture in New Orleans portrays day drinking and excessive drinking as the norm, so it made denial easier. Ronda was more of a binge drinker than a daily drinker. Her kids started noticing her drinking. Her middle daughter was vocal about her concerns early on. So, Ronda began to hide her drinking. Ronda and the kids evacuated to Phoenix during Hurricane Katrina. Her problem with drinking started then, and it took her ten years to get help. After getting a DUI, Ronda had to go through a program to align with the recommendations of the medical board. Even her colleagues said, "it could have been me." When visiting her daughter in sober living, Ronda got sloshed at the airport and faced her daughter's disappointment when she landed. When her daughter stopped protecting Ronda, it was another AHA moment that she had a problem. After her daughter went to rehab, Ronda started moderating when her kids were with her. There are multiple ways to get sober, and Ronda tried everything and found a mix of programs that worked. Ronda leveraged AA, The Tempest Sobriety School (run by Holly Whittaker), Recovery Elevator, and Café RE in early recovery. With a heavy emphasis on self-care, Ronda was able to find her true soul, her wounded inner child, and the ego that were all within herself. Learning to take care of herself allowed Ronda to stack days and helped her to deal with shame. Plant-b
Mon, April 25, 2022
RE 375: Decoupling
Episode 375 – Decoupling Today we have Amanda. She is 40, from Florida, and took her last drink on March 25, 2019. The Bozeman Retreat has openings for men: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman/ Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Paul Paul discusses anxiety and decoupling. Paul’s tipping point was in 2017 when his anxiety or hangxiety was so bad that he thought he was having a heart attack. As he sobered up, the anxiety temporarily worsened, then improved dramatically. 85-90% of Paul’s anxiety is gone today. Anxiety no longer controls him. Decoupling is untangling the thoughts, actions, and behaviors no longer serving you. Decoupling is a muscle. Start small and watch the momentum build. You are the Placebo: https://amzn.to/3M3ChKJ Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [10:20] Amanda is married to a military husband and has two children. She works as a mental health provider. She loves time with her kids, baking, working out, and spending time with other sober people. Amanda grew up in an alcoholic home. She grew up with verbal and emotional abuse and struggled with anxiety for most of her childhood. She was an athlete but quit. She began hanging out with an older crowd, and illicit drugs entered her life. She quickly reigned in the drug use. Going to school in New Orleans, her drinking escalated. Eventually, she discovered prescription drugs. She mixed them with alcohol. She observed her mental obsession with alcohol during her second pregnancy. After having her first baby, she used alcohol to cope with the stress of motherhood and having a military husband who was gone a lot. At a birthday party, she drank a bottle of wine and still wanted more. She hoped her tolerance would reset, but it didn’t work that way. Amanda was highly functioning, working full time, eating well, exercising, and caring for her children. Amanda described herself as arrogant because she knew the ins and outs of addiction because of her career but continued to drink. After relocating from one part of the country to another, Amanda thought it was time to reign in her drinking. She started a fitness plan that included some aggressive nutritional goals that excluded alcohol to be more present. She felt great, but her drinking resumed. At her grandfather’s funeral, her husband noticed she drank an entire bottle of wine at 9 AM. Shortly after that, she knew she was “done” and told her husband she had a problem and needed help. Amanda discovered Recovery Elevator and Café Re during her first two years. She has fou
Mon, April 18, 2022
RE 374: Then Go Back Again
Episode 374 – Then go back again Today we have Meegan. She is 37, from Georgia, and took her last drink on April 21, 2019. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Paul Addiction has the propensity to crack you open. We fight and dig our heels in, but eventually, the Addiction wins. This doesn’t mean you are destined to drink forever, but the Addiction cracks you open. Paul encourages listeners to use their energy to find what recovery method works for them. When you find it, go back again to the beginning. You will find that the messages you heard early in recovery have different lessons for you later in recovery. Go back again. Listen to those podcasts again, read the quit lit again or recovery books again, and do the steps again. You are a different person with a new set of skills, experiences, and tools. Revisiting those messages often provides a new value bomb. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [11:24] Meegan is a Family Nurse Practitioner and is married with three children. She loves running, snowboarding, and writing. Meegan describes a happy childhood until her parents had a tumultuous divorce, and it broke her heart. Life felt out of control. Meegan developed an eating disorder. She experimented with drinking in high school and described it as a rite of passage. Meegan made a few geographic moves for school. After a few moves, Meegan landed in Georgia, got married, and immediately had a baby. She was part of the Mommy wine culture. That was a lightbulb moment. She recognized that drinking with the baby at age 24 wasn’t good. Wine calmed her down after dealing with the stress of night shifts. Meegan started having extreme panic attacks. Training for a 100-mile ultra-marathon made her drinking take a back burner. Her panic attacks subsided. At 30, she got pregnant with twins. Her father died around the same time, and it broke her. The stress of twins and her father’s death caused her drinking to escalate. Value Bomb: You can be the best version of yourself or be hungover, but you can’t be both. As her drinking progressed, her hangovers became more debilitating. During a trip to Europe, her solution to hangovers was to continue drinking. While in Capri, she started having bad withdrawal symptoms. As a nurse, she knew what that meant. After returning home, she knew moderation wouldn’t work. Shortly after an embarrassing time with her family, she had a moment of clarity. She fell to her knees and asked God for help. The moment of clarity was a combination of spirituality, physical health, and mental health. She called her two best friends
Mon, April 11, 2022
RE 373: Control and Connection
Episode 373– Control and Connection Today we have Chris. She is 46, from Baltimore, and took her last drink on August 28, 2016. Exact Nature: https://exactnature.com/RE 20 Highlights from Paul Paul thanks all the guests who have shared their stories to help us on the path toward sobriety. Paul wants to hear about your favorite episode or the value bombs that resonated with you. Please include the episode number if possible. Contact Paul at: info@recoveryelevator.com. Support this AF bar - https://volsteadzeroproof.com/ How are you reconciling the elements of control in your life? Paul talks about our struggles with control at the macro and micro levels. Is the opposite of control connection? We have never been more disconnected. Paul’s homework for listeners is to invite a friend out to coffee instead of placing your mental energies on trying to control things. Go on a walk with your dog in Nature. Learn to play the ukulele with us, go on a meditation retreat, join Café RE, call your mom, volunteer at a soup kitchen, write a letter to someone in jail. All our lives depend on this, and we all have to do our part, which I know we can and know we will. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [10:16] Sherrie lives in Baltimore and has two adult children. She is a massage therapist and teaches movement. She is a competitive Irish dancer; she loves paddle boarding and hiking. Alcoholism was a big part of Chris’ family. There was a lot of shame, and she steered clear of alcohol. She was the designated driver for her friends in high school. After she was married, she started drinking, and it rapidly progressed into a problem. After losing a pregnancy, she had a white light moment, and she went down a very dark hole. Alcohol became her coping mechanism to turn off the pain. She began losing clients and students and realized it was time to stop. Physical pain and discomfort were warning signs for Chris that she wasn’t headed in a good direction. Her husband never thought her drinking was a problem. Moderation was his preferred choice. He didn’t think she needed to quit altogether, even when she asked for help. Waking up in a blur became commonplace. Chris started listening to recovery podcasts, and fear became the impetus to get her to quit drinking. Chris’ clients started to notice a difference in her when she quit drinking. They asked, what’s different? She began her sober journey alone and listened to sobriety podcasts, including Recovery Elevator. She kept it quiet, even from her partner. Chris attended a Recovery Elevator retreat and realized she was a dry drunk.
Mon, April 04, 2022
RE 372: The Three Stages of Healing
Episode 372– The three stages of healing Today we have Sherrie. She is 58, from Oregon, and she took her last drink on January 21, 2019. Highlights from Paul Paul explains the stages of healing have less to do with how much time you were drinking and more to do with how you view your problems. “The Energy Codes”: https://amzn.to/3I9MgMh The three stages of healing are: Victimhood – you are playing the victim card Self Help – you identify the problem, then solve it Creatorship – there was never a problem; drinking was there to help me. You take responsibility for everything in your life. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [13:52] Sherrie lives in Oregon, has two children and three grandchildren. She loves hiking, kayaking, house projects, and her dog. Sherrie lived overseas during her childhood. She started working at 16 and drank because older workers never asked about her age. Drinking was prevalent in her youth. She was married young, but drinking wasn’t an issue until there was a turning point in her marriage. Her marriage had its ups and downs for many years. Empty nest syndrome changed her drinking, and gastric bypass surgery changed how her body processed alcohol. She could drink large amounts of alcohol and began to blackout. Sherrie gained weight in hopes that her husband would leave her. As she approached her fifties (her father passed at age 54), she developed patterns of self-sabotage. After her second DUI, she knew it was time to make a change. She started counseling and stayed away from triggering moments like going to the grocery store. Her life revolved around recovery. Anytime she wasn’t working, she was focused on recovery. AA is a significant part of Sherrie’s recovery, AND she incorporates other things that work for her like Café RE, sober travel, meditation, etc. Finding activities that take her focus off wanting to drink helps Sherrie stay on track. Sherrie has a positive outlook and looks forward to fun adventures ahead. Odette’s Summary [56:52] You are doing a great job. Acknowledge the work and effort you are making. Validate your own work. Be your own cheerleader. You are not alone – together is always better. Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. <a href= "https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuWac9d
Mon, March 28, 2022
RE 371: Define Your Sobriety
Episode 371– Define your sobriety Today we have Cyndi. She is 52, from California, and she took her last drink on July 1, 2021. Registration for the Bozeman retreat opens April 1. https://recoveryelevator.com/bozeman Highlights from Paul Recovery is recovering the person you were meant to be or is the most authentic version of yourself. This isn’t a practice you want to end. It’s not a checkbox or to-do list item. Besides, if you stick with it, you will start enjoying this work. What is success in recovery? Paul says YOU should define success for the most essential endeavor of your life. Know your why and write it down. Loving yourself and being okay with yourself should top the list. Kala Ukelele: www.kalabrand.com/elevator - 15% off your first ukelele Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [11:12] Cyndi is married loves hiking, puzzles, and pets. Alcohol entered Cyndi’s life when she was sixteen. She loved it and had fun in the beginning. Cyndi’s recovery journey was progressive. Her drinking escalated after she got married. After a few comments from her husband, she tried an intensive outpatient program which wasn’t effective. Cyndi found herself reneging on all the promises she made to herself. She tried AA. After some soul searching and a request from her husband, she completely changed her approach. Her drinking was progressing, and things she swore she would never do, she was doing. Defiance, a desire for control, and physical cravings fueled her relapses. Today Cyndi doesn’t isolate. She goes to AA daily, and she doesn’t put herself in situations where she may be tempted to drink. Podcasts, doing the work with her sponsor, and leveraging Café RE keep her sober. Odette’s Summary Give yourself permission to recover regardless of where you are in alcohol’s progressive nature. Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here! Sobriety Tracker iTunes Recovery Elevator – without the darkness, you can never know the light. I love you guys.
Mon, March 21, 2022
RE 370: R is for Recovery
Episode 370– Phases of Recovery Today we have Stephanie. She is from Pennsylvania, and she took her last drink on January 2, 2020. Ditch the Booze: https://recoveryelevator .com/cafére Promo Code: OPPORTUNITY Finding your better you with Odette After ten years of being in recovery, Odette discovers that she never asked herself what recovery means to her. Success means different things to different people. When Odette decided to add alcohol to her recovery journey, she enjoyed counting days and celebrating milestones. Fear is a common theme Odette noticed among her sober soulmates, fear of failure. Relapse has been part of Odette’s journey, and she spoke about how common relapse is for those in recovery. As she searched for the reasons she relapsed, she discovered depression, perfectionism, and shame patterns. Shame dissolves hope, and without hope, you stop showing up. Sobriety for Odette is about walking toward herself and her truth. Odette encourages listeners to define sobriety and recovery for yourselves. Stay in the game, and don’t quit on yourself. Kala Ukelele: www.kalabrand.com/elevator - 15% off your first ukelele Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator - 10% off your first month [10:48] Stephanie is 42, a single mom of two boys, and lives in Pennsylvania. She loves running, cooking, and fund-raising. She is enrolled in nursing school. Stephanie describes year two of sobriety as different: a little less pink cloud and more work. She enjoys running and cooking. Alcohol was an escape for Stephanie. She had a great 80’s upbringing but did encounter some trauma that she rarely spoke about. The trauma influenced her relationships. She became the girl who could outdrink the boys. Much of her early drinking years are a blur for Stephanie. After separating from her son’s father and her Dad’s diagnosis, Stephanie realized she had a problem. She was drinking to cope and not eating. She started running, quit smoking, and lost 50 pounds. She recalls having blackouts and not remembering conversations with her kids. Getting healthy for them became critical to her, so her kids wouldn’t have to care for her. Community has always been important to Stephanie. She joined Café Re and has a group of friends in recovery. She bought the book, Alcohol is Sh!t, and once she finished the book, she knew “this was it.” She knew moderation wasn’t enough. Sobriety has opened Stephanie’s mind to all kinds of possibilities. The pandemic forced her out of the restaurant industry, and she found a nursing school. She is now in her s
Mon, March 14, 2022
RE 369: You Can Be Right or You Can Have Peace
Episode 369– You can be right, or you can have peace Today we have Katherine. She is from Colorado and took her last drink on September 24, 2021. Ditch the Booze: https://recoveryelevator .com/cafére Promo Code: OPPORTUNITY Kala Brand Ukelele: www.kalabrand.com/elevator Highlights from Paul Paul speaks to the rise of post-pandemic alcohol-free bars. Check out: https://www.wweek.com/bars/2022/02/17/portland-is-getting-its-first-zero-proof-bar-courtesy-of-no-booze-cocktail-kit-vendor-suckerpunch/ Paul speaks to brain fog and how much it impacts those of us with a history of drinking problems. Fortunately, Paul has experienced continued improvement in his cognitive function since ditching the Booze. Paul also credits meditation with improving his critical thinking and problem-solving skills. There is ample scientific evidence that meditation can rewire your thinking. Paul also credits plant-based medicine, playing music, and being less reactive with helping his brain fog and mental cognition. Paul encourages listeners to be patient and allow mind, body, and soul to recalibrate after leaving alcohol behind. Once the PAWS (post-acute withdrawal symptoms) disappear, you will also see improvement in cognitive dissonance. Paul describes a recent experience where he chose being right over peace and reminds us that he learned the hard way that it’s better to have peace than be right. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator [13:46] Katherine is 45 and married with three children. She loves reading, working out, and skiing. Katherine tried drinking in high school, but it wasn’t until the last twelve years that her drinking was problematic. She joined the army at 21. When she started drinking wine, she became infatuated with the hype of wine. She became the last one to leave the party. Work troubles and being stationed in a different place than her husband contributed to her escalated drinking. Katherine and her husband drank together regularly. He quit with her, even though his drinking wasn’t problematic. He often expressed concern which Katherine experienced as controlling. She didn’t understand how much her drinking was affecting him. Signs appeared that her drinking was a problem, but she dismissed them. Now, she has her friend back. Katherine is reluctant to admit that she medicated with wine and used it to overcome the stresses of motherhood. A heavy-drinking mommy peer group became a permission slip to drink more. A series of divine interventions inspired her to quit for good. She completed a 90-day intensive outpatient program and listened to Recovery Elevator podcasts for inspiration.
Mon, March 07, 2022
RE 368: The Mind F&ck of Alcohol
Episode 368 – The Mind F&ck of Alcohol Today we have Stephen. He is from New Jersey and took his last drink on September 15, 2020. Ditch the Booze : https://recoveryelevator .com/cafére Promo Code: OPPORTUNITY Highlights from Paul Paul shares an email from a listener who asks Paul how people without a drinking problem can get help. He talks about the A&E show “Intervention” and how he often watched it while drinking alone, grateful he didn’t have a problem with alcohol. The show, Intervention gave Paul countless examples of how alcohol “f&cks” with your mind. After 276 interventions on the show, 270 accepted treatment, with 151 remaining clean and sober today, which is a 55% success rate. If those numbers are accurate, they are much more optimistic than the broadly accepted low teen success rate you hear from the industry. Paul reminds listeners that you probably have a drinking problem if you are listening to a sobriety podcast. The point of addiction is to get to know yourself and love yourself. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator [13:10] Stephen is 45 and lives in New Jersey. He is a father (a “girl dad”), coach, and owns his own business. He loves coaching, sports, and everything outside. Stephen’s relationship with alcohol evolved over 25 years. Alcohol was his biggest challenge, but he also used marijuana. He dabbled in underage drinking and had fun on the Jersey shore. He managed his drinking well for many years. When his second daughter was born, he began to acknowledge his drinking was problematic. His drinking escalated over the years. He and his wife danced with moderation, and he occasionally took days off drinking. Stephen was the driver of the drinking in his marriage. Stephen credits Paul Churchill’s book with getting him sober. He tried several programs before he found Recovery Elevator. Ultimately, he went to a four-day detox. He was full of energy and enthusiasm after leaving detox. He relapsed a few times but rallied and has been able to stack days. Mismatched drinking habits pushed the end of his marriage. Meditation, journaling, exercise, and accountability are his best sobriety tools. Value Bombs Learning that alcohol was the symptom, not the problem, was eye-opening Enjoy the moments Once it gets good (in sobriety), it gets great quickly. Everything compounds. Odette’s Summary If you are seeking anything outside of self, you are taking the long way home. Odette reminds us that everything we need is inside of us. There is no shame in having doubt. Stay on the path! Remember, you are not alone. Together is always better. </s
Mon, February 28, 2022
RE 367: Why Geographical Cures Don't Work
Episode 367 – Why geographical cures won’t work. Today we have Aaron. He is from San Antonio and took his last drink on May 22, 2019. Ukulele: https://kalabrand.com/elevator Highlights from Paul Paul advises listeners that if you aren’t doing the inner work, your problems will follow you, whether you move, change jobs, or change relationships. That’s why geographic cures don’t work. He speaks about some of his geographic solutions and why they helped temporarily, but eventually, he discovered he was the problem and had to buckle down to do the deep inner work. Paul highly recommends getting out of toxic situations. Paul describes the inner work as connecting with yourself, learning to love yourself, setting boundaries, making decisions that benefit your sobriety, and standing up for yourself. Ultimately, inner work often causes you to leave toxic situations, relationships, jobs, etc. When you learn to respect yourself, you will choose environments that are conducive to your wholeness. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator [11:54] Aaron is 27, lives in Texas, and works in finance for a corporate bank. He is a family guy, loves hiking, getting outside, food truck Friday’s and hanging out with his nieces and nephews. Aaron was raised by an amazing single mother and had a great childhood. His world was rocked when his mom died of breast cancer when he was twelve. Entering high school after losing his mom left him feeling disconnected from family, people, places, and himself. He started drinking his sophomore year, and alcohol gave him confidence, popularity, and connection. He moved to the Midwest to live with his sister and encountered a new environment, including harsh winters. Boredom led to more drinking, pot use, and the wrong crowd. Aaron spoke heartfeltly about the role shame played in his delay in maintaining continuous sobriety. Resentments and anger fueled his drinking. He was 24 when he first attempted sobriety. Eventually, an early morning AA meeting became the key to stacking days. He started working out and listened to the Recovery Elevator podcast during his workout. His mom became a higher power for him as he got sober. Sharing his story with you today is Aaron’s way to give back and offer hope. Aaron discovered some co-addictions along the way, including co-dependency and disordered eating, Value Bombs You don’t have to have a hard physical bottom to get sober. You can get sober because you want a better life You can stay sober because you have a better life. A solid morning routine and discipline led him to stacking days. Discipline has taught him to choose what matters most: his health, career, and family.</li
Mon, February 21, 2022
RE 366: Walking Each Other Home
Episode 366 – Walking each other home Today we have Hailey. She is 29, from Portland, OR, and took her last drink on September 3, 2019. Connect with Cafe RE Highlights from Paul Focus on the similarities, not the differences – if you believe you are unique, your inner voice can sabotage your efforts. Create a plan or strategy that will help you in those challenging moments when you want to drink. Have it with you and use it. Be mindful of the inner voice that can cause you to self-implode. Awareness helps you override negative inner thoughts. Walk each other home – listen to others, help others, and shine the light on a new way of living. As you heal, you will help others heal as well. Say thanks to those that walk you home. When you find love, enjoy life. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator [11:35] Hailey has been sober for 2 ½ years and describes sobriety as different in the third year. She has been in the restaurant business forever. She lives in Oregon and has done several interesting things in the restaurant industry, including opening some restaurants in the Dominican Republic. She got sober in Minnesota and pivoted into the NA beverage business. She works for a non-profit that supports restaurant industry individuals in addiction crisis. Hailey loves longboarding but admits it's difficult in the rain. Hailey tried alcohol and pot at age 12. She did a lot of experimenting with drugs at music festivals while her parents worked their food cart. She opened a cocktail catering company and developed an addiction to cocaine to get more done. Achievement and praise are Hailey's first addictions. She described taking it further than others to get uncomfortably high. She was reckless. She continues to feel she doesn't get enough done in a day. Her industry perpetuated that feeling. She recalls marking the day it was one year from recognizing she had a problem and not doing anything about it. She wanted to get sober quickly and realized she had to take a break from her life to get sober. A friend connected her with a professional interventionist who helped her get into Hazelden. Hailey's secret sauce for recovery is a robust gratitude practice coupled with things that make her proud. Hailey spent 31 days inpatient, followed by a month of outpatient treatment. She was convinced that her only problem was cocaine, not alcohol. Studying addiction instilled a healthy fear, and she became willing to work the steps. She went to meetings, sold her business assets, and took a part-time job to focus on recovery. "Ben's friends" (https://www.bensfriendshope.com/) and the right sponsor took her recovery to another level. Ha
Mon, February 14, 2022
RE 365: So Who Do I Connect With?
Episode 365 – So Who Do I Connect With? Today we have Joshua. He is 36 years old and from North Carolina. His last drink was on October 31, 2020. https://kalabrand.com/ Highlights from Paul: Happy Valentine’s Day! The opposite of addiction is connection. Paul shares that reality is a mirror reflecting your inner world. The most important connection we have is the connection we have with ourselves. If we don’t love, treat ourselves with respect or stand up for ourselves, that will appear in our outer world. Connecting with yourself allows you to become your own healer. Once your inner connection/relationship is healthy, that will be reflected in your external connections. Paul recommends splitting your internal and external actions 50/50. Connect with yourself first (via meditation, journaling, yoga, etc.), then connect externally (Café RE chat, Marco Polo chat, a family member). Johan Hari’s Ted Talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator [10:45] Odette introduces Joshua Joshua is from North Carolina, loves music, and works as an optician. “Should” never helped Joshua quit drinking. Focusing on what he wanted from his life helped him shift his thinking and made an alcohol-free life possible. Joshua’s first drink was a Zima at a party in high school. He was generally a good kid and had a strong desire to belong. He recognized that alcohol did something for him early on before it did something to him. The first time he recalls getting drunk, he felt a euphoric escape. Alcohol was liberating and medicating. In college, a sneakiness appeared in his drinking. He wasn’t aware of alcohol being problematic until 2014. After divorcing, pent-up resentments led to accelerated drinking for Joshua. His drinking progressed. He attended his first AA meeting in 2017. After several false starts, AA helped him get 18 months of continuous sobriety. He stopped working his program and returned to drinking. He began to observe his drinking, and by Halloween, a dream helped him realize he wanted to be his best, and alcohol wasn’t part of that vision. Joshua credits AA for helping him and describes AA as binary; he has a realistic view of their history and acknowledges that many options are available for recovery today. Therapy helped him with harm reduction and to be less black and white. Josh says quitting alcohol is hard, but the complications of drinking make your life exponentially harder. He is happier, more grateful, and knows the perceived benefits of alcohol were a lie. Life still has its ups and downs, which are easier to manage. Odette’s final thoughts: You are enough. You are everything you need. You are loved. You are w
Mon, February 07, 2022
RE 364: Booze Cruise
Episode 364 – Booze Cruise Today we have Ben. He is 41 from England and took his last drink on September 26, 2021. Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 Highlights from Paul Paul shares some highlights from Recovery Elevator’s recent trip to Costa Rica. The group wound up on a booze cruise, remained sober, and had more fun dancing, swimming, and connecting than others who were drinking. The group trusted Paul and had a blast. Anxiety and depression often happen when we feel disconnected. Paul described driving through Montana in a location where people waived to one another on the road. That simple gesture was a form of mini-connection; it feels good and elevates dopamine levels in a healthy way. When you perform an act of kindness, it always provokes another. Paul suggests waiving at someone at a stoplight and reminds us that the opposite of addiction is connection. Better Help: www.betterhelp.com/elevator [11:29] Ben looks at not drinking as an opportunity, not a punishment. The work inspires him, and it feels like a reward. Ben is a musician; he’s single and age 41. He loves reading, movies, exercise, board games, video games and aspires to get into amateur dramatics. He no longer needs alcohol to have fun, experience life, and do the things he can write songs about. His mindset is now hopeful and optimistic vs. trapped and hopeless. Ben started drinking as a teenager at a party. He was under lots of pressure because he was into rock music, had long hair, and nobody approved. Drinking gave him an escape. He never drank when he played because he enjoyed the euphoria of performing. It was “game on” at the afterparties. He developed an eating disorder, which led to binge eating, drinking, and then starving. Hypnotherapy helped his eating disorder, giving him a sense of peace. Writing down what he ate to address his eating disorder helped Ben identify patterns in his drinking. As his drinking progressed, it began to impact his performances. He often drank on the tour bus all night and partied into the next day. Anxiety, paranoia, and confusion crept into his daily life. He was constantly looking for something fun and continued drinking to avoid reality. He began drinking alone, which impaired his ability to enjoy music. Consequences began to emerge. Ben explored AA, and he was initially put off by those who continued coming to meetings after decades of sobriety. During his first share, he broke into tears. He was shaken to discover how much alcohol meant to him. His drinking progressed, and he became reckless. At some point, he recognized he was powerless over alcohol. In 2021, Ben had three scary incidents that involved his work, health, and a friendship. He was scared sober. Initially,
Mon, January 31, 2022
RE 363: The Most Powerful Pharmacy in the World
Episode 363 – The most powerful pharmacy in the world Today we have Brian. He is 48 years old and from Ohio. His last drink was on March 31, 2019. For more information about our Denver event, please go here . Exact Nature www.exactnature.com Code: RE20 Highlights from Paul: How do you leverage the brain to work in your favor? Acknowledge there is a problem. Make sure your mental energies match your goal. Use the thinking mind to pull up a good memory (vacation, significant accomplishment). The cycle: The more the nervous system is in check, the more you want to do things that bring you joy. The more you do something that brings you joy, the more your nervous system calms down. Listen to the nature sounds playlist . We forget that we come from nature; we evolved with crickets and blue jays. All you need to do is listen to nature sounds and allow them to calm the nervous system. BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator [11:19] Odette introduces Brian Brian has been sober for 1000 days. He is from Cleveland, Ohio, likes mountain biking, the outdoors, art museums, and travel. Drinking became an issue for Brian after high school. He experimented with drinking, pot, and methamphetamines. He was an addict for a year and eventually went to rehab. He dropped illicit drugs and continued drinking. His family drank, so they wanted him to quit drugs but continue drinking. Brian did everything to excess. He had two failed marriages, and his drinking always led to bad situations. He believed he could control his drinking. In 2018, Brian started a new job. He blacked out at the end of a training event, and he knew he had to quit. He stopped on April 1 but was a dry drunk. He was always angry. He didn’t know what to do because drinking was always a reward. Today, Brian listens to podcasts and finds the similarities. He meditates. Regulating his emotions has been a struggle, but it’s getting better. Café Re drove his recovery. His goal is not to be an embarrassment anymore. Brian removed himself from all his prior activities to avoid triggers. Now he follows the 7 Habits, s, lives his values, and sobriety is his number one priority. He appreciates his wife’s support, and they have a solid partnership. After a year of firsts (holidays, anniversaries), he felt stronger in his recovery. He is a better husband, a better stepdad, and his career has progressed. You may have to say adios to booze if... If you find yourself crying in the shower, not knowing how you got to your room. <p
Mon, January 24, 2022
RE 362: Acceptance is the Answer
Today we have Noelle. She is 31 years old and from Colorado. Her last drink was on June 24, 2019. Highlights from Odette Odette is working on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with her therapist. ACT encourages people to embrace their thoughts and feelings rather than fighting or feeling guilty for them. Odette is learning not to shove her feelings away but to accept them and learn not to fuse them. Embracing negative thoughts can propel you into the right thoughts and behaviors. If I let this thought guide what I can do, will it help me create the life I want? Use the thought if it helps; diffuse it if it's not helpful. betterhelp.com/elevator [8:54] Kris introduces Noelle Noelle has been sober for 2.5 years – over 900 days! She is an engineer and works with her brother. She has a Doberman and loves hiking, skiing, and getting outside to enjoy Colorado. Noelle had a fake ID at 17 and always thought about how to get alcohol easier. She got into college because of her basketball skills. She got a DUI at 18, but there were no consequences. She and others justified her drinking because she excelled academically, professionally, and in basketball. She drank to get drunk. She crashed her truck for her 2nd DUI, and the consequences didn't faze her yet. She continued to excel professionally. Workaholism and alcoholism went hand in hand for Noelle. Noelle's got her third DUI at age 27. She went to jail and had five months of work release and in-home detention. She accepted a TOP 30 under 30 business award, but she wore an ankle monitor during the awards ceremony and slept in a cot in jail that night. Six months later, she stopped drinking. She was a dry drunk; she just removed the alcohol. She had a one-day relapse. The following day she went to an AA meeting. Noelle has now learned that sobriety is about quality vs. quantity. She has a sponsor, is working the steps, and spiritual elegance is part of her journey. At her sponsor's urging, she wrote a drunkalogue which helped her see the wreckage of her past and the risky behavior. Noelle has learned that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. She is now learning to live in peace with unsolved problems. Noelle met Odette in April when she was hiking at Zion National Park. Meeting Odette was a higher power "God shot" moment in front of hundreds of people. Recovery Elevator podcasts were critical to her early recovery and AA meetings. You may have to say adios to booze if... You get a Denver Business Award journal for the Top 30 Under 30 and sleep in a cot in jail that night. Kris's final thoughts: Kris spoke about the impact that his drinking had on his loved ones. A door opened after a challenging conversation with his wife. Acknowledging
Mon, January 17, 2022
RE 361: A Healthy Cycle
Today we have Eric. He is 58 years old and from New Jersey. His last drink was on February 10, 2019. The RE Alcohol Free Ukulele course registration is open! Sign up here . For more information about our Denver event, please go here . From Paul: Why is working with the nervous system so important? The cycle: The more the nervous system is in check the more you want to do things that bring you joy. The more you do things that bring you joy, the more your nervous system calms down. Listen to the nature sounds playlist . We forget that we come from nature, we evolved with the crickets and blue jays. All you have to do is listen to nature sounds and allow it to calm the nervous system. [10:03] Odette introduces Eric. Eric is 58 years old and from New Jersey. He is a teacher. He also enjoys performing in theater as well as teaching theater. For fun he likes hiking and going to the gym. Being in nature is important to him. He grew up around alcohol and for him it was very normalized. As a kid in high school, he would take beer from his father and drink them on camping trips. In college is where he said his drinking ramped up. He was able to get drunk very fast and he began to black out from time to time. After two DUIs in the Midwest he took a job in New Jersey and continued drinking. He then received a 3rd DUI and a 4th DUI. But because it was in a different state he skated under the radar and was able to deal with lower ramifications. February 10, 2018 his mother passed. He thought to him as he was on the plane home “Now the healing can begin”. He’s been learning what that means ever since. You may have to say adios to booze if... you are now dealing with your 5th DUI and you still think it’s just a glitch and it’s not a problem. Odette’s final thoughts: Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Get off the rat race and be kind to yourself. Take a moment today and focus on something good. Accept where you are. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: You can find more information about our events Sponsors: Exact Nature www.exactnature.com Code: RE20 BetterHelp: www.betterhelp.com/elevator Affiliate Link for Amazon : Sh
Mon, January 10, 2022
RE 360: The Nervous System
Today we have Lane. She is from San Francisco. Her last drink was on December 30, 1996. The RE Alcohol Free Ukulele course registration opens January 7th 2022. Sign up here . For more information about our Denver event, please go here . Paul reminds you that you’re declining one drink at a time. When we think about quitting drinking, a scenario arises in our mind with 100’s of people, simultaneously offering us drinks, all at once. That will never happen, and just like one day at a time, you’re saying no to one drink at a time. As Paul mentioned at the end of last year he wants to cover the Nervous System, which is what he’ll be covering today, and in future episodes. Today he covers why it’s important to have a balanced nervous system and he explains, in layman's terms, what the nervous system is. [11:38] Odette introduces Lane. Lane is in her 50s, and lives in San Francisco, CA. She took her last drink on December 30, 1996. Lane is a wife and mother and a mindfulness and meditation teacher. Lane loves to hike, listen to really good music and dance. Lane had her first drink at the age of 12 and blacked out. This pattern continued with her into her 20s. She loved the effect that alcohol had on her. She was very involved in sports during school and nobody knew she was drinking like she was. Everything on the outside looked normal, but on the inside she depended on that drink. She didn’t think she had a problem because her friends drank like she did. To be hungover was normal, was life. It wasn’t until she sent her best friend to the hospital with a concussion, while in a blackout, that she started to think that something was wrong with her drinking. On New Years Eve (1996) she went to a “meeting” with some friends, unknowingly this meeting turned out to be an AA meeting. She heard the message of recovery that night and had hope. When Lane was 5 years sober she fell into Buddhism and found a way out, through prayer and meditation and that has been the golden thread throughout the last 20 years of her recovery. Lane says becoming a mother 12 years ago has been the most challenging thing in her recovery. You may have to say adios to booze if... you just drank and you get into a car and you drive. Odette’s final thoughts: Take care of yourself, believe in yourself and believe in possibility. Upcoming events, retreats and courses: You can find more information about our events Sponsors: SOBERLINK:Did you know there are 15 million people in the U.S. with an Alcohol Use Disorder? A
Mon, January 03, 2022
RE 359: Silence Bruno
Today we have Shea. She is 42 years old and from Michigan. Her last drink was on August 9, 2021. The RE Dry January course: REstore began January 1. There’s still time to join us! Sign up here . The RE Alcohol Free Ukulele course registration opens January 7th 2022. Sign up here . For more information about our Denver event, please go here . From Paul: “I cannot tell you how to quit drinking” For Paul the most important thing that helped him along his journey to being alcohol free is: accountability. Paul tells his story of one of his attempts to stop drinking in 2014. He told his family he needed help. Paul’s 2022 goal is simply: To be sober. As he continues to build time away from alcohol, he wants to remind listeners that even he doesn’t have it all together. And the thing he’s most proud of is the ability to recognize the insanity of his own thinking mind. * Silencio Bruno * [09:03] Odette introduces Shea. Shea is 42 years old and from Michigan. She took her last drink on August 9, 2021. She has two boys, a full time physicians assistant for cardiac surgery and is also in Law School. For fun she loves to move her body, recovery related activities and build community. In Shea’s senior year of high school she began to develop coping mechanisms for trauma through her life. At first the focus was on an eating disorder and then she turned to alcohol. Immediately she took to alcohol and drugs and she lost all fear. While she knew this path was wrong, she wanted freedom and thought it was here. By 18 she had developed an addiction to heroin, but focused on school with daily drinking. During this time she also attended her first AA meeting. Through some admitted luck she was able to avoid jail time and was put into a court appointed drug and alcohol program. After 13 years (2015) of alcohol and drug recovery she decided she wasn’t an addict anymore and began to drink again and would be able to moderate. Before the first glass of wine was done she was planning the second. The community and steps of AA work for her, knowing that there are a million different avenues she can take to recovery has made her experience this time around different and meaningful. Finding and accepting her own self honesty has given her freedom. You may have to say adios to booze if... you are finding bottles in your basement in old boxes and you don’t remember putting them there. Odette’s final thoughts: This is a great time to set some goals and intentions. Write down w
Mon, December 27, 2021
RE 358: Don't Forget to Sing Your Song
Episode 358 – Don’t Forget to Sing Your Song Today we have Randy. He is 43, from Indianapolis, and took his last drink on December 30, 2016. Registration is now open for Restore which begins January 1,2022. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ Highlights from Paul This week’s tips from Paul include: 1) not everyone drinks, 2) sing, 3) give yourself a hug and say I love you. There is a lot of uncertainty in the world and change is hard. Find your song, that melody in your soul that is uniquely you that you sing over and over. You are the master creator of your life. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/ Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [9:27] Randy has been sober for nearly 5 years. He is married with 4 kids and loves animals and running. Randy was on episode 129. Randy was in the restaurant business, and he was always surrounded by people who drank. Toward the end, the hangovers and anxiety began to take a toll on him. Drinking was a reward for Randy. Today, Randy doesn’t have to think about drinking. He isn’t spending money on alcohol. Now he can afford season tickets to the Colt’s game. He doesn’t have to think about getting there or getting back, because he is sober. Randy is now methodical vs living on instant gratification. He is more approachable and he loves giving service to others. Initially watching football was really hard for Randy, because the sport was so engrained with alcohol. Now he enjoys games more than ever. Kris’s Summary Kris speaks to the term chosen family. Kris’ recovery family wants him to be successful and free. They take him at his best and his worst. They laugh together, cry together, dance and walk the path together. We need to open up, be vulnerable and let others love us until we learn to love ourselves. You can do this. Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat. Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy. Develop a detailed craving game plan. FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out. Select a Holiday Theme Song. Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy One minute of intense mindfulness Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day Have a fun escape plan Offer to do the dishes Study your why’s Rest Uno reverse card Remind yourself you are safe Play the t
Mon, December 20, 2021
RE 357: Practice Saying No
Episode 357 – Practice Saying No Today we have Jenn. She is 34, from Michigan, and took her last drink on April 10, 2020. Registration is now open for Restore which begins January 1,2022. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ . AF Ukulele course starts 2/5/22 at 3 PM EST. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/ukulele/ Highlights from Paul Paul talks about the parameters for success. There’s an unhealthy paradigm in the sobriety world that it’s all a bust if we drink once. While continuous sobriety is the ultimate goal, getting there is never pretty, and most likely is launched off a series of relapses or field research. If you are drinking less than you did last holiday season, that’s a huge improvement. This week’s tips from Paul include: 1) say no, 2) practice saying no, 3) create your own pep talk. Sometimes the desire to stop drinking only swirls in our thoughts. Don’t underestimate the power of thought. Our thoughts are powerful. They create our world. Immediately discard the thoughts that don’t align with your goals. Deconstruct them and become aware of thoughts that are not congruent with what you want and need in life. Use the thinking mind for creation and visualization. Visualize that you no longer drink. Repeat it, say it out loud and repeat it again. What you put in is what you get back. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/ Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [12;43] Jenn took her last drink April 10, 2020. She has a husband, two children and loves hiking, being in nature and spending time with her family. Jenn said from her first sip of alcohol she felt some inner peace. Her first black out was at age 14. She started off with a bang and got in plenty of trouble. She experienced some trauma and started to use alcohol as her coping mechanism. She had suicidal ideations and started cutting. She drank a 5th a night. Before she turned 21, she added cocaine. She was a functioning alcoholic through her twenties and early thirties. In her thirties, her drinking took on a dark shift. She was suicidal and she knew that she had to save herself and get some help. Jenn had to be brutally honest with herself. She was asking the wrong people for help. Her internal and external worlds were completely opposed. Jenn had multiple attempts at sobriety. She worked with a therapist for two years and real change began. The accountability of Café RE reinforced her commitment to sobriety. She is now a recovery coach. Odette’s Summary Odette reminds us that change starts with us. If you are waiting for things to change, for people to change, for life to change, you may be waiting
Mon, December 13, 2021
RE 356: Play the Tape Forward
Episode 356 – Play the Tape Forward Today we have Ashley. She is 35 from Orange County, CA, and took her last drink on January 7, 2006. Registration is now open for Restore, which begins January 1, 2022. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ Café RE: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere/ Highlights from Paul Paul encourages you to check in with yourself about your feelings about your AF journey. There are more recovery modalities than ever. Keep searching for the one that works for you. This week’s tips are: Play the tape forward. Treat yourself to a gift. Take three deep breaths into the lower lobes of the lung. Drinking served a purpose for you initially. Alcohol suppresses your inner turmoil: It gives you a sense of calm. As you continue to suppress those voices, they grow louder, and you must drink more to make those feelings go away. If you continue to override your internal guidance system, you live life truly blind, and nothing of significance takes place. When do the miracles of sobriety occur? Day 1, day 500? It’s up to you to find out. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/ Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [12:45] Ashley took her last drink on January 7, 2006. She is married, has twin boys, and in 2010 co-founded an SV start-up that offers online outpatient addiction treatment. She has a podcast called the courage to change. https://www.lionrock.life/couragetochangepodcast She is finishing her MBA, loves yoga, the outdoors, reading and comedy. Since she got sober at 19, she has been revisiting fun at her current stage of life. Ashley’s first drink was a beer she stole from her parents’ fridge, and it took her a week to finish it. She felt like she was born with her skin too tight and always believed she was too much. She tried to make herself into what others wanted her to be. Ashley hired alcohol and drugs to do a job for her to make her feel okay and want to be on the planet. By age 14, she was addicted to cocaine. Through a boyfriend, she got addicted to heroin. She was sent to several lockdown programs that were popular in early 2000. She couldn’t stay sober in treatment. She would create disasters, leave, and change treatment centers. She eventually left treatment and decided to drink instead of doing drugs. In 2006 she started going to AA meetings, listening, and letting go of her old ideas, which was hard to do. Her life became different when she let others help her and did what they said. She went to college, had relationships, and started a company. Instagram: @sobermomsquad ; https://www.lionrockrecovery.com/ Ashley went to me
Mon, December 06, 2021
RE 355: The Uno Reverse Card
Episode 355 – the Uno reverse card. Today we have Rocio. She is 42, from Washington state, and took her last drink on August 31, 2020. Registration is now open for Restore which begins January 1,2022. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/ Highlights from Paul Paul reminds you if you drank over Thanksgiving or your sobriety plans aren’t going so hot, don’t kick the bucket to January or to the next holiday season. This week’s tips from Paul include: 1) rest, 2) Uno reverse card – remember that most criticisms and judgments have nothing to do with you, 3) remind yourself that you are physically safe. Much of our addiction is tied to an overactive nervous system that prevents us from departing from the fight or flight emotions. When we’re drinking, there is no time left to create, to explore, to discover, to get to know, or reflect upon. Instead, we are picking up the pieces, sometimes trying to put the pieces together from the night before. Much of this behavior is the body seeking safety and refuge from situations that may have occurred decades ago. Relax and let your inner guidance take over. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/ Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [11:29] Rocio took her last drink August 31, 2020. Rocio is married with three sons and lives in Edmonds, WA. Rocio had an abusive marriage and had the courage to leave her marriage. Her drinking wasn’t a huge issue until the last 6 years. As her kids started to grow, she became part of the mommy wine culture and alcohol was part of everything from sports events to PTA meetings and family gatherings. She noticed she was starting to plan around events. Her husband was concerned, and always approached her with an attitude of help. Rocio didn’t have a turn-off switch and she had some self-sabotaging characteristics. She described that hamster wheel of parenthood, work, and fun. Alcohol helped her numb. Breaking her hip at a bike race became a turning point. She didn’t stop drinking but had to learn to walk again and the recovery took a year. Rocio was sober curious and did several dry January’s. During a family vacation, she had some great insights about the role alcohol played in her family including some questions from her son. About six months into sobriety, she started to get real clarity on her relationships and how she thinks. Connection, accountability, quit lit, boundaries and self-care were great tools. Her marriage is amazing, and she has great support. Odette’s Summary Odette reminds us to protect our energy during the holiday season. Give yourself permission to take care of you. Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 Holiday 2021 AF
Mon, November 29, 2021
RE 354: Holiday Survival Kit
Episode 354 Today we have Cordell. He is 38, from North Dakota, and took his last drink on December 6, 2017. Highlights from Odette Odette has some helpful hints to contribute to Paul’s Holiday Survival Guide. Odette suggests 1) have a fun escape plan, 2) offer to do the dishes, 3) dig into your arsenal of why’s. Beyond tips, Odette suggests really focusing on effective communications. Set expectations in advance, particularly with those closest to you so they understand you are committed to staying sober, even if it means leaving early. You don’t have to burn the ships either, you can reference plans early the next day. Odette says having a puppy is a great reason to leave a party early. Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [6:05] Cordell took his last drink December 6, 2017. He is 38 and has a wife and 3 kids. He spends lots of time chasing kids and he works in a coal mine. Sobriety is the best choice he ever made. Cordell was raised in a Christian family with lots of family gatherings in a small town with lots of alcohol. Taking a sip of his parents’ drink was common. In high school, alcohol was a given, part of the norm. Cordell didn’t drink to have fun; he drank to get wasted. He started working as a welder and drinking was part of the routine. At 22 he decided he needed help. He smoked pot and took other drugs, and it had a spiraling effect. He went to a 30-day Intensive Outpatient program. He was sober for almost a year and decided he had it under control. He would drink 1-2 beers at a party and “drink responsibly”. At 24, his girlfriend was pregnant. He wasn’t ready to be a father and his drinking really took off. He lost his job, his friends, his car and was at rock bottom. He met his son for the first time when he was 3 months old. Meeting his son encouraged him to clean up his act a bit. He quit taking drugs but continued to drink. He moved in with his girlfriend, got a job and maintained as a functioning alcoholic. His daughter was born two years later. Almost immediately after his daughter was born, his girlfriend was pregnant again. Cordell was often put in jail for fighting with his girlfriend. He eventually got a job at the coal mine. He and his girlfriend got married. His drinking slowed, but extra income became an opportunity to start taking drugs again. He was fired after a random drug screen. His drinking and using escalated and his wife kicked him out. He moved in with a buddy who was also drinking and drugging. Ultimately, he went to rehab. The withdrawal was hell, but he found new tools to have fun, and started to surround himself with healthy people. Now he coaches wrestling, volleyball and is actively engaged with his kids. He talks to his sponsor daily and he has learned how to apologize.
Mon, November 22, 2021
RE 353: It's a Week to be Thankful
Episode 353 – It’s a Week to be Thankful Today we have Jan. She is from Connecticut and took her last drink on February 1, 2021. Restore – intensive on-online dry January 15 session course. Registration opens 12/1/21. Costa Rica starts January 15. Email kate@recoveryelevator.com to get on waiting list. AF Sober Ukulele (8 week) course starts 2/5/2022. Registration opens January 7th. Denver Retreat (3/31 – 4/2) Register: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/denver/ Café RE donated $15,094.73 to organizations and non-profits geared towards helping those affected by addiction. Highlights from Paul Paul is encouraging listeners to develop a game plan for the holidays. Last week he encouraged us to: 1) create a detailed craving plan, 2) turn FOMO into JOMO by saying no and, 3) pick a holiday theme song. Paul shares that when we make the decision to not drink, an unbelievable amount of energy is released. This is less about staying away from alcohol and more about creating a life that doesn’t require alcohol. When we’re drinking there is no space mentally for this new life. This week Paul encourages us to: 1) select a Thanksgiving AF beverage, 2) schedule one minute of intense mindfulness and, 3) sticky note – write a reminder, goal or affirmation and put it somewhere you can see it. Remember what the holiday is all about, being grateful for all the gifts we have including the adversity that inspired us to go alcohol free. Paul’s pep talks can be found here: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/ Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [14:34] Jan took her last drink 2/1/2021. She is 71 years old and has a son. She is a massage therapist, health coach, dog sitter and loves hiking, audiobooks, and photography. Jan started drinking went she went to school overseas in Italy. It was part of the culture. She drank and experimented with drugs through college. She had serious health consequences because of her drinking. She worked at several resorts and met her husband who loved to drink. Jan went to AA and stayed sober for four years. She returned to drinking for twenty years. She struggled with mental health issues, anxiety, and panic attacks. She spent a lot of time in psychiatric hospitals and was encouraged not to drink. Jan went to 4 or 5 different treatment centers. The tipping point came when her son pushed her to quit. Jan pretended to take Antabuse in front of her son and maintaining the facade was exhausting. A friend of her son’s recommended Café RE; the connection she found within Café RE was very helpful. Jan loves “We are the Luckiest” by Laura McKowen and recalls hearing, “find a room that works and stick with it,” and that resonated for her. She steers clear of situat
Mon, November 15, 2021
RE 352: Allow the Deeper You To Emerge
Episode 352 – Allow the deeper you to emerge Today we have Kendall. He is 30, from Texas, and took his last drink on March 13, 2021. Paul shares some personal insights on the growth of Recovery Elevator. Highlights from Paul Paul resumes the discussion about having a game plan for the holidays. He reminds us that alcohol can have catastrophic effects. A recap from last week: 1) Accountability, 2) Stock up on AF beverages, 3) Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy. Paul introduces three additional concepts: 1) Develop a cravings plan and get specific, 2) JOMO – find something this holiday season to say “no” to and savor the new boundary, 3) Pick your holiday theme song. When you begin the journey in a life without alcohol, an incredible thing begins to take place. You get to experience a transformation that allows the deeper you to emerge. You get to know yourself, your true and authentic self, your needs, wants, desires and more. Paul encourages us to listen to the inner voice and the guidance it provides to tell us what we need, when we need it and how to get it. Our inner voice will help us to fully live a human life with all its ups and downs. When we are true to our authentic selves, we get to embrace the full palette of human emotions, we learn to stand up for ourselves and learn to create a life that no longer involves alcohol. Listen to the pep talk segment here: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/ Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [10:11] Kendall took his last drink 3/13/2021. He is 30 years old and has a young daughter and enjoys skate boarding. Kendall started drinking at age 14. He smoked, drank, and hung out with his friends. He didn’t drink frequently, but every time he did, he got very drunk. Kendall’s sober journey began NYE 2019 when he was going through his divorce. He didn’t want to be “that guy” who drowned himself in alcohol. He thought he was healed at 50 days. He was out of control. His drinking escalated dramatically. He would quit for a day, but he was having fun. At some point he reflected on his behavior. His ex-wife sent him pictures of empty bottles she found in the house. Kendall realized he was resentful at his wife for not letting him drink the way he wanted to. Kendall hid his drinking. He used it as an outlet to escape his depression. Odette found Kendall through his participation in the Café RE roll call. She watched him start to count days. In April 2020, Kendall found RE. He was in lockdown and still drinking daily. Kendall connected with Paul’s energy on the RE podcast. He tricked himself through several day ones and eventually he hit a day 3, then a day 7, then a day 27. He used the term, “field research” as a pass to drink. Publicly posting on his social media helped him ga
Mon, November 08, 2021
RE 351: Strength and Courage
Episode 351 – Strength and Courage Today we have Tom. He is 47, from Bozeman, MT, and took his last drink on September 24, 2019. Café RE’s annual on-line conference called Regionals starts Friday 11/12-13/2021. This is a Café RE members’ only free event. This will include yoga, sound healing, meditations, and breakout rooms. Go to: www.recoveryelevator.com promo code: opportunity for more info. Highlights from Paul Paul shares some helpful hints from listeners to develop a game plan for the holidays. There are 54 days left in 2021 and Paul is encouraging you to start now with your plan to ditch the booze. 1) Accountability – get an accountability partner. Café RE members’ email: info@recoveryelevator.com with your name, age, location, male or female, and date of last drink and KMac will get you paired. If you are going somewhere for a holiday gathering, let the host know you won’t be drinking and ask them not to offer you any alcohol. 2) Stock up and treat yourself to AF beverages (+chocolate +ice cream). 3) Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy, so your focus isn’t on what you are giving up, but on doing more of something you enjoy. Paul reminds us to practice new habits including listening to music when you get triggered. Listen to some of Paul’s favorites here: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/ If you find yourself overwhelmed with getting or staying sober, remind yourself that up until this moment, everything has worked out just fine. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Nobody does. Your job is to keep moving forward and making progress. But not aimlessly. When we remove alcohol, we also remove the veil of illusion. At first this is lonely and scary. This allows us to be more authentic. Give this life reboot some time. Trust me. Trust yourself. Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [11:52] Tom took his last drink on September 24, 2019. He is 47, a surgical nurse and is married with two kids. He loves fly fishing, snowboarding, running, live music, hiking cooking, playing guitar and yo yo’s. Tom came from a long history of drinkers. Tom was a victim of sexual assault and bullying. He didn’t drink regularly until late high school/early college. He described never feeling comfortable in his own skin. Drinking helped him overcome that discomfort. Tom’s drinking ramped up in college. He also smoked pot and was never a normal drinker. At age 30, Tom made a career change and went to nursing school with the goal of being a family man. He became a surgical nurse and has been in the field ever since. After moving to Bozeman, the effects of years of drinking started to take their toll. He drank to black out, drank and drove and hid his drinking. He quit once on his own for two months, then drank for another five years.
Mon, November 01, 2021
RE 350: What's up Holidays
Episode 350 – What’s up holidays? Today we have Blazik. He is 28, from Kansas, and took his last drink on July 25,2021. Café RE’s annual on-line conference called Regionals starts 11/12-13/2021. This is a Café RE members’ only free event. This will include yoga, sound healing, meditations, and breakout rooms. Go to www. Recoveryelevator.com promo code: opportunity for more info. Café RE just made a $5149 donation to the McShin Foundation. 10% of all Café RE monthly memberships go towards a nonprofit geared towards helping those affected by addiction. The McShin Foundation helps those struggling with addiction get access to detox facilities, sober living, transitional recovery houses and more. https://mcshin.org/ Highlights from Paul Paul addresses the gauntlet of challenges coming up in the next sixty days, specifically Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. The holidays often spike anxiety. Paul suggests it’s time to create a game plan to enjoy your first of many AF holidays. Challenges create opportunities. There is an opportunity to rewrite the script and create a new norm for the holidays. There are opportunities for self-love, self-reflection, self-care and putting the self aside. There are also opportunities for connection. Building deeper human connections requires us to exercise our vulnerability muscles. This is an opportunity to be less reactive, go with the flow and practice mindfulness. It is also a great time to be of service and give without expecting anything in return. It is an opportunity to set boundaries with yourself, your loved ones, and people in the supermarket. There is also an opportunity of the unknown, a time of repose and perhaps a chance to address loneliness. Paul believes you can do this. It starts with how you view it. Simply reframing challenges to opportunities is a great start. Lean in on this podcast, Café RE or whatever it takes so you do not go through this alone. Willpower is not enough to stay sober. Paul will provide more tools to help you build a game plan. This year is your opportunity to enjoy sober holidays. Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [9:47] Blazik took his last drink on July 25, 2021. He is 28, single and has his own podcast. He makes videos, music and is learning the guitar. He spends a lot of time burning energy with his dog so he can enjoy down time. Blazik experienced anxiety through his childhood. He was high performing as an athlete and homecoming king. He acted like the person he wanted to be but was filled with anxiety. He drank to overcome anxiety and drinking made the feeling go away temporarily. Alcohol made him feel and act the way he wanted to. From age 17-27 he drank daily. The effects of alcohol began to take their toll on him physically. He woke up regular
Mon, October 25, 2021
RE 349: The Inner Voice
Episode 349 – The Inner Voice. Today we have Tara. She is 37, from Canada, and took her last drink on February 20, 2019. Café RE’s annual on-line conference called Regionals starts 11/12-13/2021. This is a Café Re members only free event. This will include yoga, sound healing, meditation, and break outs rooms. Go to: www.recoveryelevator.com promo code: opportunity. Highlights from Paul Paul talks about his inner voice and how it failed him as he was trying to stack days in early sobriety. Inner narration can tell you in your own voice that it is okay to drink. It’s a subconscious voice. Paul advises that the first step is to be aware of the voice. Then you need to create distance between that voice and the first drink. Inner narration isn’t you, it’s a bundle of thoughts. Over time, you can let the space build between the thought and the drink so you can change your thinking. Gaze at the stars, look up and take a breath. Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [10:37] Odette welcomes Tara Tara took her last drink February 20, 2019. She lives in Montreal and has learned to enjoy life – everything she does is for fun. She is a voice actress and podcaster. Tara described her relationship with alcohol as a product of self-loathing and rejecting herself. She took her first drink at 12. She was well adjusted and had her needs met at the time. She didn’t drink again until 15 when she was unhappy, depressed and feeling alienated. Alcohol filled a need to replace herself. A major shift happened when she was 18 and she took her drinking to another level – drinking in the morning and drinking alone. Alcohol became her primary relationship until she got sober. Alcohol was linked with everything she did. She had a lot of self-pity and thought the world was against her. She felt like she belonged at the bottom. Pain felt normal, like home. Tara went to 12 different inpatient rehabs. She would start to feel better and didn’t know how to deal with feeling better. Learning to care for herself emotionally was a big challenge. Even some basic tasks were a challenge. She escaped through relationships with men or would obsess about her looks to avoid facing herself. She took pride in not being a good person. She became a villain in her own story. She put her family and friends through a lot. She relapsed frequently and made false promises to herself and other people. She is amazed her family is still supporting her recovery. During her last stay in rehab, she was there for 12 days and had to leave because she had been so many times. Post rehab she went through the motions and went to meetings, got a sponsor, and did the things she was told to do without running the show. Her parents breathalyzed her which helped her becom
Mon, October 18, 2021
RE 348: We Don't Plug In
Episode 348 – We don’t plug in. Today we have Kerry. She is 31, from Philadelphia, and took her last drink on January 2,2021. Recovery Elevator is going to be Denver Colorado at the Hilton Garden inn at Union Station. New Dates: March 31 – April 2. Register: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/denver/ Paul will be teaching a ukulele 101 course in February 2022. https://recoveryelevator.com/events Highlights from Paul Humans don’t plug in like a phone with a charger, however we do recharge. In the 21st century we are pulled in many different directions. Addictions are adaptive behaviors that manifest in unhealthy, stressful environments, especially when we are running on empty. Paul offers some practical ways for us to recharge including go barefoot on the earth/grass, eat live foods 2x a day, eat less frequently, sleep more, nap, read a good book, socialize with other sober people, get out in nature, do something that brings you joy, and JOMO (joy of missing out) – skip those stressful events. Recharging takes practice. Remind yourself that it is a gift you are giving yourself. Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [11:30] Odette welcomes Kerry Kerry took her last drink January 2, 2021. She is a registered dietician, is married and has two cats. Her side hustle includes several books and mocktails. See: https://thesoberdietitians.com/ Instagram:thesoberdieticians Kerry didn’t start drinking until college. She did drink wine. She was given an opportunity to write a mocktail book with her friend, Diana for pregnant women. As with many, her drinking increased in 2020. She was drinking daily. Kerry read a lot about the rise of alcohol use during the pandemic. She and her friend, Diana were writing their 2nd book and began linking alcohol and health. Kerry started looking at her own relationship with alcohol. She completed a 30-day AF challenge. She returned to drinking but drank mindfully. She and Diana completed another 30-day challenge together. They explored several AF options. Diana quit drinking entirely and Kerry’s drinking diminished. Kerry celebrated a friend’s engagement with champagne and that was her last drink. She learned so much about alcohol as an author and realized she didn’t need alcohol anymore. Kerry didn’t love the feeling that came with drinking alcohol. She realized that she couldn’t accomplish as much when she was hungover. She also realized how prevalent alcohol is on TV or in movies. We normalize problematic drinking. She and her husband have enjoyed taking the sober curious journey together. She misses red wine and pumpkin beer and hasn’t found a great AF alternative to either yet. She is tempted to return to drinking, but her current
Mon, October 11, 2021
RE 347: Can You Quit Drinking in Unhealthy Environments?
Episode 347 – Can you heal in the same environment you became sick? Today we have Frank. He is 42, from Omaha, and took his last drink on May 22,2021. Recovery Elevator is going to be Denver Colorado at the Hilton Garden inn at Union Station April 14th- 17th. Registration goes live this Friday, October 15th. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/denver/ Highlights from Paul Can you heal in the same environment you became sick in? Yes, but you can’t use the same consciousness or thinking that got you into the mess in the first place. There is a line that goes, when you quit drinking you don’t have to change much, you have to change everything. The key is, not all at once. Paul describes three critical changes: awareness, boundaries and staying in the body (don’t disassociate). You are gaining strength. Adversity makes you stronger. You are healing and as you heal, those around you will heal as well. Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [10:38] Odette welcomes Frank Frank to his last drink May 22, 2021. He is married with two children, and he works in medical staffing. He is a foodie, loves sports and playing guitar. Frank started drinking in high school. It was a rite of passage at the time. He never had an off switch and could always outdrink everyone else. His tolerance increased. In his mid 30’s he noticed the hangovers getting worse and he was eating shame meals. By his 40’s the hangovers lasted two days and it wasn’t fun. Frank was never a violent drunk. He was a raging jerk during recovery because he felt so terrible. His hangovers became progressively worse. He could barely get water down. Frank was good at covering up his drinking. He was sober for 30 days a few years ago and celebrated with a drink. His drinking progressed from there. Frank’s turning point came during his anniversary dinner when his withdrawal symptoms were so intense, he was shaking, sweating, felt faint and nauseous. He knew something had to change; he wrote a four-page letter to his wife, spoke with his counselor, and found Recovery Elevator. His Dad and his brother were good sources during early recovery as they are both in recovery. Listening to podcasts and playing the tape forward helped. Managing through sober “firsts” this year (college football, golf, concerts, 3-day weekends) has been a win. A self-described weekend warrior, Frank enjoyed the sensation of alcohol, but never drank to escape anything; he just wanted to fit in. He used koozie cup holders to avoid questions from his drinking buddies. He is now open about his recovery and his friends and family check in regularly and have let him know how proud they are of him. He now observes others drinking to excess and is relieved he doesn’t have to do that anymore
Mon, October 04, 2021
RE 346: There is No Manual
Episode 346 – There is no manual Today we have Kathryn. She us 58, from North Dakota, and took her last drink on February 19, 2002. Highlights from Odette There is no manual for recovery. We have tools, guidance, but no guaranteed formula for success. Learning to manage that uncertainty can be challenging, but it's normal. Be gentle with yourself and others. Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [07:18] Kris welcomes Kathryn Burgum, the First Lady of North Dakota. Kathryn has over 19 years of sobriety. Kathryn’s first drink was at age 8. There was lots of alcohol in her household and her parents were regular drinkers. In high school, Kathryn struggled with anxiety and depression; drinking was her nirvana because it gave her some relief. She had her first blackout in high school, and they continued for twenty years. Kathryn experienced many consequences due to her drinking; the loss of self-respect was at the top of her list. Getting a DUI pushed her to begin recovery. Kathryn made several deals with herself about regulating her drinking. She never kept those promises, because if she thought about drinking, she did. The only choice she had was to start drinking …. In the end, she lost the choice about drinking. As Kathryn’s drinking progressed, she was hung over every day. She was unable to control her drinking. When asked if she should be driving, she would respond that she was fine, because she didn’t want people to think she had a problem with alcohol. Kathryn worked in HR and drug tested employees. When she got a DUI, it was published in the local newspaper. Someone blew it up and posted it at work. The shame kept her from admitting her problem. She didn’t want to ask for help because she was concerned about what others would think. Kathryn recognized she was suicidal almost every time she drank; she had undiagnosed depression. As a result of her DUI, she had to undergo a mandatory evaluation and went to outpatient treatment that was unsuccessful. She went to Mayo Clinic for ten days and stayed sober for two years. Over a period of 8 years, she quit and relapsed several times. Kathryn’s turning point came when she was walking and asked, “Is there anybody out there? If there is, I need help.” She has been sober ever since. Slowly recovery became her life. She found a community, began feeling better, and engaged a recovery coach. She credits recovery with saving her life. Kathryn now takes medication for her depression, reads meditations daily and connects with her God. When her husband, Gov. Doug Burgum, announced that he wanted to run for governor, she had some concerns. They had candid conversations about boundaries during the campaign. Kathryn made a consci
Mon, September 27, 2021
RE 345: The Neuroscience of Addiction Part II
Episode 345– The Neuroscience of Addiction Part II Today we have Stacy Jo, she is 34 years old, from Oregon and took her last drink on March 6, 2020. Highlights from Paul Paul wants to know your interest in a alcohol-free Ukulele 101 course. If you are interested please email info@recoveryelevator.com . Paul provides part 2 of highlights of a podcast with Rich Roll speaking with Dr. Anna Lembke. Rich Roll Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jziP0CEgvOw. Dr. Lembke talks about how it’s a known fact that when we are in our addiction, we can’t accurately see the consequences or what’s taking place. With abstinence, we can look back and say, OH MY The interview focuses a lot on dopamine and why addiction has been on the rise for 30 years. Being smart or highly educated doesn’t make you immune to addiction, in fact, it might even backfire because you think you know everything. More than 1/2 the world's deaths, under the age of 50, are attributable to addiction. Rates of alcoholism have gone up 50% for those aged 65 and up from the late 90’s to today and have gone up 80% in women. Traditionally the rates for alcoholics were 5:1 for men to women. With Millennials, it’s now 1:1. There are more burdens on women now than ever. Dr. Lemke recommends a 30 day dopamine fast. But a huge warning of withdrawals for alcohol and benzodiazepines. How to do this? Well, we’ve got 345 episodes now on the HOW, but the trick is to go into the pain. Head into the storm (episode 341) and Forgive yourself. Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [12:41] Stacy Jo took her last drink on March 6, 2020. She lives in Eugene, OR. with her partner of 15 years. Her primary hobby is anything that has to do with yarn. She has worked in the restaurant industry for 20 years until the pandemic hit, she recently was just at the University of Oregon. Around the age of 20, after a breakup and miscarriage, Stacy Jo feels there was a switch in her drinking. That was the same time her service industry career normalized and it all went hand in hand. In 2018 Stacy Jo started some serious attempts to quit drinking but it wasn’t until the beginning of the pandemic in 2020 that she was able to get good footing. Stacy Jo joined Café RE when she was around 4 months sober and says she did it as a reward for herself. She says her partner hated her drinking, and that it became a pretty big division between the two of them. Stacy Jo also got a Driving While Ability Impaired (right below a DUI) when she was 28. She feels like she slept the 1st three months of sobriety. She treated herself like a toddler and allowed herself to sle
Mon, September 20, 2021
RE 344: The Neuroscience of Addiction
Episode 344– The Neuroscience of Addiction Today we have Bill. He is 61, from Alabama, and took his last drink on April 29, 2021. Events. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/ Ditch the Booze starts 9/21 at 8 PM EST. Highlights from Paul Paul provides part one of highlights of a podcast with Rich Roll speaking with Dr. Anna Lembke. Rich Roll Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jziP0CEgvOw. “Persons with severe addictions are among those contemporary prophets that we ignore to our own demise for they show us who we truly are.” Dr. Lembke says that drinking is not a choice but seeking help for an addiction is a choice. The interview focuses a lot on dopamine and why addiction has been on the rise for 30 years. American society and economy are focused on an insatiable pursuit of pleasure. Today’s marketers target the dopamine system; thus, we all struggle to find homeostasis. Addiction can show up as alcohol, social media, food, etc. Addiction is a low-grade discomfort we all have as humans. She believes we are all wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain, which works in an environment of scarcity, not our current state of abundance. Paul reminds us we can’t study or think our way out of addiction. Community is key! Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [11:43] Bill took his last drink on April 29, 2021. He enjoys hiking, movies, sports, windsurfing, reading, and spending time with family and friends. Bill started drinking as a teenager. He knew at spring break 30 years ago that he was a problem drinker. He drank and got buzzed every five years but wasn’t addicted. Thirty years later, Bill’s wife left, and he started drinking liqueur in the evening. He slowly became addicted, and he drank every night. When Bill hit rock bottom, he found himself broke, living in an extended stay hotel. He scraped the floor of his room and his car to get enough money to buy a few shots. In 2020, he joined Recovery Elevator and was a lurker until 2021. Bill still has cravings and practices “doing 30 things” to keep him from drinking. If the cravings continue, he goes to bed. Loneliness is Bill’s biggest trigger. Ice cream and cookies also get him through. Bill said everything got better when he stopped drinking. He is back in the gym and loves waking up without a hangover. His medications work better. The community of Café RE is crucial to Bill, and he is led and inspired by others in RE. He loves being of service and is grateful to the suggestions of others that helped him when he wanted to drink. Bill credits Tim Grover’s books, Relentless and Winning, with changing his mindset. His takeaway was getting ‘obsessed’ with sobriety. Meditation helps his anxiety and cravings. A
Mon, September 13, 2021
RE 343: A Brief History of Alcoholism and Treatment
Episode 343 – A Brief History of Alcoholism and Treatment Today we have Charlie. He is 35, from Missouri and took his last drink on July 7, 2020. Events. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/events/ Ditch the Booze 9/21 ; Regionals 11/12-14; Costa Rica (1/15-23). https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/ Highlights from Paul Addiction is a modern phenomenon. Alcohol has been around for centuries. Early “treatment” of alcoholics included being jailed, tortured, and often executed for being possessed by demons. As treatment has evolved, we are moving toward FLOW states. Our mental energies are redirected from addiction toward creating healthier neural connections. In the 1930’s, alcoholism was classified as a fatal medical condition. In 1935 Bill W co-founded AA. In 1949 the Hazelden Foundation was born, thus creating our modern-day rehab and treatment structures. https://www.cornerstoneofrecovery.com/a-history-of-addiction-and-addiction-treatment/ Fortunately, people are recovering from alcoholism because the stigma is softening, and people are recognizing this is more a disease of disconnection and lack of community. Check out this video of the Recovery Elevator Bozeman retreat. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFoqj3xeFUI Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [16:09] Charlie took his last drink on July 7, 2020He has been to 54 different treatment He just wrote a memoir. He writes, blogs, and enjoys experiencing life. Charlie’s mom passed away when he was 13. He didn’t know how to handle his emotions, so he turned to substances. The emotional damage compounded over the years. Charlie’s drinking was a result of unresolved grief and trauma, emotional damage from a succession of stepmothers, and lack of success as an actor. Charlie drank and used drugs. In 2017, his health became an issue. He started exploring detox and learned about alcoholism. In 2019 he was in his 15th IOP program, but still wasn’t surrendering. He had to go back to Lincoln to address some legal issues. He relapsed several times; he was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. In June of 2020, he was receptive to love and faith from his higher power. He decided to implement what he learned at the facilities he experienced. He relapsed again, but in July he realized alcohol wasn’t working for him. Charlie maintained a job through most of his addiction which provided insurance and access to treatment. He was privileged and knows he had access to therapists and treatment modalities many don’t. He did build up a lot of medical debt. Charlie overcomes cravings or negative emotions with music, cleaning, calling friends, visiting family. He also journals and meditates. He has learned to listen to his emotion
Mon, September 06, 2021
RE 342: Do Your Part
Episode 342 – Do Your Part Today we have Michael. He is 43, from N. Georgia and took his last drink on January 1, 2020. Registration for Costa Rica (January 15-23) is open. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/ Highlights from Paul Paul discusses three elements that are critical to doing your part in recovery. Paul believes self-respect, self-love, and well-being are fundamental to healing. Doing the work is essential, and it eventually becomes embodied in your circuitry. Over time, we retrain the brain to stop self-harming with alcohol, pop tarts, and disrespect from others. The state of our world reflects our lack of connection with ourselves, our planet, and our community. He believes a tipping point is upon us. We can help the world by fixing our internal environment, our inner pollution that results in external contamination - that is our part. The inner work (i.e., letting go of resentments) benefits others as well. Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [11:01] Michael took his last drink on January 1, 2020. He is from 43, married, and has two kids. He is a graphic designer and enjoys painting, drawing, playing music, and running. Michael started drinking in high school. He drank to fit in and didn’t really like alcohol. He trained himself to drink. He used alcohol to celebrate, and it felt good. He now realizes he was trying to become somebody he wasn’t. In college, alcohol was everywhere, and he drank almost daily. Michael noticed early on his drinking was an issue. Post-college, Michael didn’t want the party to stop. Free booze was a great excuse to overindulge. Alcohol and celebration went hand in hand for Michael. He began moderating when his children were about to be born. Over time, Michael continued to try moderation, and the voice in his head continued getting louder. He started looking at pictures from events he attended and realized there was no joy in his eyes because he wasn’t present for his own life. Accepting love was a real challenge for Michael. He quit drinking for an entire year but gradually returned to drinking. Michael now believes sobriety represents his authentic self, and that’s why he had to train himself to drink. Podcasts and the book “This Naked Mind” helped him understand addiction. Michael discovered Recovery Elevator, signed up and became part of the community. Recovery is fantastic for Michael. He doesn’t need alcohol to be himself, confident, present, feel his feelings, true joy, true love, and his life is greater than he imagined it would be. He embraces his inner light and beauty as a human being. He loves his wife and his family and appreciates his RE tribe, who understand what it’s like to cope with addiction. Michael talks to someone in recovery every day. He focuses on exercise, worki
Mon, August 30, 2021
RE 341: Head Into the Storm
Episode 341 – Head into the storm On today’s podcast we’ve got Britt, she is 45, from California and she took her last drink on November 13, 2018. Registration for Costa Rica (January 15-23) opens Wednesday 9/1. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/ Highlights from Paul Solving human problems can be discovered in nature. Lone bison run away from storms in the opposite direction. Humans run away from cravings and tough life challenges. Packs of bison walk through the storm together, shoulder to shoulder. They know the quickest way to weather the storm is through. It’s vital that we work alongside others to weather the storm of addiction. Facing the storm together is fun. [6:52] Paul shares a great story about his adventures with Britt and how much he admires how she has embraced her AF journey. Paul loves how Britt burned the ships and showed how invigorating life can be sans alcohol. Exact Nature exactnature.com Code: RE20 [09:54] Britt took her last drink November 13, 2018. She loves the outdoors, hiking and music. Britt had a slow burn into active addiction. She struggled with depression and agoraphobia in her teens. When she hit 30, she lost 100 pounds. Losing that much weight is a challenge. Drinking helped her deal with those emotions. She quit drinking after the loss of a friend and white knuckled for over a year. She went back to drinking, but it progressed. Reviewing her journals helped her to see she made multiple attempts to quit and moderate. She made a geographic change hoping for a cure. She believed her rock bottom came when she was drinking daily, then she went to work for a liquor store while looking for full time work. Cognitive dissonance was in play for two years, and she never gave up. While listening to podcasts, she tried a 30-day solution and it stuck. Britt found that drinking gave her a tiny feeling of satisfaction that ultimately turned into shame and loathing. Control has been a theme that she is continuing to explore. Once she was able to stack some days, she leveraged journaling and Café RE retreats. Meeting other people who were also ditching the booze inspired a new level of accountability that worked. Personal integrity helped her to honor her commitment to quit drinking. Britt learned that she leveraged food, exercise, and relationships to soothe herself. Now she explores new parks or trails. Meditation has been instrumental to her sobriety. Addiction has humbled Britt, softened her relationships, and opened her to more meaningful connections. [42:17] Britt shares a powerful journal entry. Addiction isn’t in a place, and neither is recovery. There is freedom in that. Odette’s Summary Odette reminds listeners that her life is
Mon, August 23, 2021
RE 340: Give Yourself a Break
Episode 340 – Give yourself a break On today’s podcast we’ve got Mike, he is 36, from Fort Worth, TX and he took his last drink on September 20, 2020. Highlights from Paul We are incredibly hard on ourselves. The point of this episode is to give us permission to let much of that go, and to move the needle slightly on how you view yourself and the drinking. Hating yourself for drinking, for not being able to quit drinking, for not holding the promises made to yourself, etc. isn’t productive. The shame and guilt that accompany those statements isn’t either. Dr. Gabor Mate congratulates someone who experienced depression. Why? Because depression and anxiety are mechanisms that kick in for us to go internal and find ourselves. Give yourself a break if you experience addiction, anxiety, or depression. Use them as levers to learn to know and love yourself. Check out Paul’s YouTube video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2mVZadRTkA&t=1s Paul suggests not making self-love conditional or transactional. He also suggests finding healthier coping strategies. They are infinite. Exact Nature re20@exactnature.com [12:44] Mike took his last drink on September 20, 2020. He is married and expecting a baby boy. Mike’s drinking began in high school. His drinking progressed from a 12 pack of Coors Light to 2 12 packs of white claws a day. In his late twenties, he started logging his drinks on his calendar. He got married and hoped his behavior would change. He could go for a few months without drinking but was a dry drunk. He was very focused on being manly and Mike’s version of that meant he struggled being honest with himself and others. It was difficult to admit he had a problem. On the outside, things seemed fine. He was functional, but Mike’s identity was in the approval of others and how he was viewed by the world. He quit his job to enter rehab and entered a faith base rehab program. When he returned, he was more prideful and selfish than ever before, and his marriage deteriorated. He relapsed and projected his self-pity and hate onto his wife. He knew he would drink himself to death or swallow his pride and admit himself to another rehab. Mike entered one of the toughest rehabs in the country. There he learned the root cause of his drinking was about unresolved childhood trauma. Mike was physically taken care of, but his family emotional model taught him not to show weakness. In rehab, he was taught the 5 why’s model to deal with his unprocessed issues. Mike starts his day with coffee and prayer. He’s in the best shape of his life and tries to treat his body as a temple. He consistently and constantly surrenders every day. He has learned to be well versed in apologizing and forgiving.
Mon, August 16, 2021
RE 339: Does Addiction Serve a Purpose?
Episode 339 – Does addiction serve a purpose? On today’s podcast we’ve got Nate, he is 39, from Ohio and he took his last drink on October 9, 2015. If you like the Recovery Elevator podcast, please leave us a review on iTunes and help eradicate the stigma. My favorite part of RE is back. And I hope to see you at an upcoming event. We’ve got Costa Rica January 15-23 and then we’re in Denver Colorado April 14th -17th. Highlights from Paul Is addiction a disease or not? Paul says that addiction isn’t a disease, but a learned behavior that expresses itself in unhealthy environments. In unhealthy, traumatic, or lonely environments, we develop adaptive behaviors such as excessive drinking to help us cope. Check out Paul’s thoughts in more detail in the following video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKY4l7ez5pw&t=35s Crossing the river of addition means letting go of our resentments, fears, anxieties, jealousies, attachments, and choose love. If you ride that wave of pain long enough, it will give you two choices: life or death. Thanks to the stigma which helps keep paradigms in check, we label ourselves dysfunctional, or broken. Addictions represent things that need deep healing. People in recovery understand that love and acceptance is more important than you should be wearing a mask, or you should get vaccinated… and if you don’t, we’re no longer friends. We work together for one common goal. The rest of society is not equipped with the tools and emotional intelligence to do so. Addictions are wake up calls. Invitations, to step into your true authentic self. Addictions give us the fast track to see that love always wins. We get there by seeing what’s not working in life. I think an addiction exists to push us back to source. To creation. To love and light. I encourage you to stop labeling your drinking problem as bad because it’s not. And that a major waste of time energy. Exact Nature re20@exactnature.com [13:11] Nate took his last drink 10/9/2015. He grew up in Ohio in a traditional Midwest family with a family. He started drinking at an early age to fit in and numb some insecurities. He realized he was gay at an early age, needed to accept himself in an environment that didn’t include role models or peers. He recognized consequences on drinking early on with a DUI and fights at parties. When he graduated from college, his drinking shifted from social drinking to misery drinking. Nate described an era of drinking and when it became problematic. He was able to cling to career success, a great work ethic and worked in the restaurant business in a management role. He worked from home, which fed his disease. He took micro naps after starting his morning with vodka and chardonnay to
Mon, August 09, 2021
RE 338: Old Narratives
Episode 338 – Old Narratives On today’s podcast we’ve got Rebecca she took his last drink on October 22, 2019, she is from Madison Wisconsin, and is 31 years old. Finding Your Better You Highlights When we don’t know the root of our triggers, when we don’t know the narratives that are ingrained in our brains and in our souls. We think something is wrong with us. And when we think something is wrong with us, we feel shame. Part of taking responsibility of your healing is knowing yourself, so that you can get outside of this shame cycle and can walk the bridge over to self-empathy. When I know myself better, I can zoom out and see what was happening in my mind, understand myself better and allows me to manage my relationships differently. This makes me navigate my cravings better, because mine come when I feel this belief of, I am not considered. Look within and find some narratives that are living inside of you? Stories that live in the past, yet they are being perpetuated in your present life. We can re-write those stories. But only until we detect them. Insights from Rebecca’s Journey [09:18] Kris introduces Rebecca. Rebecca began drinking at age 14 and she hated it. She was afraid of drinking because her dad was in law enforcement. She noticed a shift in her drinking at age 25. In 2011, her dad went to prison and that trauma had a huge impact on her life. She was also a victim of domestic violence. She thanks alcohol for getting her through terrible times and for the life she has now. Rebecca’s drinking became all day drinking because she was isolated, alone, and bored. She would binge drink to soothe loneliness. She was falling apart, other than work. She began listening to recovery podcasts and reached out to her employee assistance office. She entered a therapy group that helped with alcohol addiction and trauma. She was holding on some trauma from her past that became an excuse for drinking. She was stuck in a Day 1 cycle and a shame cycle. She went to rehab and detoxed from alcohol and Xanax. It was a very structured program that gave her some tools. Learning to connect was important for Rebecca. She leaned in heavily on AA and found a local community of sober women. She is now very engaged with Café RE which has helped keep her sober. She constantly evaluates her program. She continues to suffer from anxiety and depression, but she isn’t alone anymore. She really wants to give back and is now able to do so. She always challenges the narrative recognizing that a bad day can be turned around. Rebecca said, keep it simple! Kris’ Message Kris is celebrating four years of continuous sobriety. He shared a quote from Marianne Williamson, “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darknes
Mon, August 02, 2021
RE 337: The Canary in the Mine
Episode 337 – The canary in the mine. I was open with people about my decision. I put myself out there to create a level of accountability. Today we have Katie. She is 38, from Ohio and took her last drink July 12, 2020. This is her story of living Alcohol Free (AF). Events! Alcohol-free travel is back! Recovery Elevator is going to Costa Rica January 15th-23rd and you should join us. We’ve got space for 34 AF rock stars, registration opens Sept 1. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/costarica/ You can find more information about our events here. Paul’s Intro Native cultures believed that a sick person is like the canary in the mine and it’s the sick person who represents an imbalance in the community. Or that something is off. They also believed this person should be thanked for raising the alarm that something needs to be corrected within a community. Almost like, yo, thank you for taking one for the team. So Contrary to today’s culture where mental illness, autoimmune disorders, and addictions are prevalent and on the rise, these environmental conditions were rare in most cultures prior to modern times. So this is what native cultures did when there was a sick canary in the community. The whole tribe came together to help this person because they knew they were all connected, that they were all one. The entire community would shoulder the cost to bring in healers from other tribes. All these ceremonies were different of course, but from I can deduce the two main commonalities were this: Music and dancing. For at least 3-4 days. Okay, let’s tie this into alcohol. It’s in my opinion those who struggle with a drinking problem are the canaries in the mines. Side note, I was the canary in the mine in the Canary islands. I went to this set of islands located off the northwest coast of Africa in 2007 and was drunk and hungover for the whole trip. I don’t remember much from that trip, but I recall popcorn being my lifeline one afternoon because that’s all I could. That’s how hungover I was. And fun facts about Canaries, yes they do come from the Canary islands. They have yellow feathers, and occasionally eat jalapeños. Fun fact about Paul. I also occasionally eat jalapeños. We are covering some ground today team. So in 2021, there have never been more sick canaries, and if we don’t ALL address this, then we’re toast as a species. When I say we ALL need to address this, I mean problematic and normal drinkers. As in addiction/mental health is an external manifestation that something is highly out of balance internally with our species. This imbalance affects everyone. This is okay, it’s how we grow and evolve. The good news is…. The Canary can heal. It wil
Mon, July 26, 2021
RE 336: Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin, & Oxytocin
Episode 336 - Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin I need to admit myself somewhere. I could sit here until I’m blue in the face and until I have some humility, this is not going to work. Today we have Susan, she’s 61, she’s from Pennsylvania and took her last drink Nov 19th, 2017. This is her story of living Alcohol Free (AF). Events! Due to Covid we had to cancel our Costa Rica sober travel trip, and an event in Denver. Those events are back on. We’ve got an AF trip to Costa Rica January 15-23rd 2022 that includes: the cloud forest, the beach, chilling on a catamaran. Registration opens Sept 1 and we’ve got 33 spots available. April 14th -17th 2022, we’ll be in Denver Colorado at the Hilton Garden Inn at Union Station. This event will be about moving energy with music that is performed LIVE. Expect connection, small group breakout sessions and the opportunity to be your most authentic self. Registration opens Nov 1. You can find more information about our events Paul’s Intro Today I will share information on the 4 main chemicals we’re dealing with when we ditch the booze. I’m outline them, give a framework of how to work with these chemicals in a healthier way and a loose timeline of what to expect when you quit drinking and how these chemicals will come back into balance. The four main players dance with an addiction are Endorphins, Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin. Endorphins and dopamine are the chemicals of progress. Short-term feel-good chemicals. And Serotonin and oxytocin are the long-term chemicals. Let’s cover the short-term molecules first: endorphins and dopamine Endorphins - We often hear the word endorphins with exercise. And it’s true. This is the reason for the runners high. Endorphins have one purpose - to mask physical pain. Since the body doesn’t distinguish the difference between physical and emotional pain very well, this is why running, or physical movement helps us emotionally when we aren’t feeling good. Dopamine - This is the molecule we are mostly engaged with when dealing with an addiction. This is more accurately described as the learning molecule. Dopamine is viewed as an incentive for progress. The good feeling, we get when we do something necessary for survival. Addictions highjack the dopamine system. Alcohol raises the dopamine in our brains by over 100-200% and cocaine raises it by 300%… temporarily. Then there’s a major crash. Dopamine is highly addictive, and it should be. Human beings walked thousands of miles over the ice shelf of eastern Asia to the Americas because of dopamine. The dopamine system worked great for humans, until the world modernized faster than the system could adapt. Alcohol completely over runs this system Long-term chemical
Mon, July 19, 2021
RE 335: All Emotions are Created Equal
Barela took her last drink 42 days ago (at the time of this recording). This is her story of living alcohol free (AF). A former Recovery Elevator interviewee, Jody, is hosting her own sobriety courses. This is called “The Sobriety Shift” and is a 12-week transformational program for women for are already sober, but want to elevate their life. You can find out more information here . From Paul: “All emotions are created equal” You need all emotions to give you the barometer for good and bad or to define what emotion even is. Being able to feel both sides of the emotional spectrum is important. Some ying vs yang emotions are: Hope and fear, gratitude and anger, pride and shame, desire and repulsion, love and hate. When we view all emotions as equal, we don’t double down on them: we don’t get mad that we are mad, or anxious that we are anxious. When you label an emotion as “bad” you have a higher chance of drinking over them. By viewing them as equal to “good” emotions all emotions are able to pass through us without being strengthened or intensified. Everything has a purpose to help us evolve. Today’s show is sponsored by Betterhelp. Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 1,000,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR . [12:10] Odette introduces Barela. Barela is 43 years old and from Salt Lake City, UT. She is a mother to her Yorkie named Kiki. By day is a victims advocate for a non-profit and by night she is your Queer grocery clerk that helps you find your produce. For fun she loves true crime podcasts, going for long walks with her dog, hikes with friends, reading, painting, meditation and puzzles. Because of the pandemic she’s been focusing on a lot of solo projects. [14:48] Do you notice that solitude is different now that you’re sober? Barela said yes, she’s always enjoyed her own company, but she’s now more active and productive with her time. She’s more creative because alcohol isn’t in the way of her focus. Every morning is a great morning for her. [15:38] Can you give us a background on your drinking? Barela said she started drinking when she was 16. Her mom bought her alcohol to keep her in the house, rather than being out. She didn’t like the taste at first. When she moved to Portland and was in a band alcohol became more a part of her everyday life. It escalated quickly in the last 10 years. At around age 28 she started blacking out. In the beginning they did
Mon, July 12, 2021
RE 334: The Wisdom of Trauma
Episode 334 You’re not giving something up, you are getting so much more in return, it’s just amazing. Kevin is 53, from South Carolina and took his last drink on October 6, 2019. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF). Today’s show is sponsored by Better Help. Kevin’s interview is with Kris. You guys are going to love Kris’s style. He’s a grounded, laid back guy from North Dakota who fully gets the importance of connection. Just like you all gave me a chance, and Odette, please focus on the similarities, not the differences and welcome Kris. Speaking of Kris, we’ve made 10 YouTube Videos, and some of them are funny, at least that’s my opinion. and our last video was my top 10 favorite recovery books. Go over to YouTube and type Recovery Elevator in the search bar. I just finished the book “Breath” by James Nestor. The breath is the true foundation for all recovery work. It turns out, 5.5 breaths per minute is the optimal rate. That’s 5.5 seconds on the inhale, and 5.5 on the exhale for a total of 5.5 per minute. So next time you’re caught up in email apnea, pause and focus on the breath. I highly recommend this book. Breath by James Nestor https://amzn.to/3zOJ1GZ. Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side. Okay, let’s get started - Today I want to talk about the incredible feature film on trauma and addiction by Dr. Gabor Mate. The film is called “The Wisdom of Trauma.” This film needed to be made and will move the needle in a healthy direction in terms of how we view addiction. Film: https://thewisdomoftrauma.com/ Book: “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts” - Dr. Gabor Mate https://amzn.to/3xOAZx1 This film covers what addiction is. It covers how it happens, when the driving forces behind an addiction take hold in life and it also has practical ideas on how we should address addiction as a society and as the individual struggling with an addiction. On this podcast, you’re most likely listening to address a drinking problem, but all addictions, for the most part are interchangeable, and the mechanisms are mostly the same. Okay, no surprise here, he talks about trauma. And he is noted for saying that all addictions, start with trauma, and the baulk of that happens in adolescence. The start of addiction doesn’t happen when you lose your job, but in infancy. Always. We often think that trauma must happen in Afghanistan, or a physically abusive parent but it also happens when we aren’t hugged enough as a child or us not getting something we needed when we were young. Parents in the 20th and 21st centuries are pulled in so many directions, that unfortunately, this is common. It’s the kiddos that pay the price. Please don’t take
Mon, July 05, 2021
RE 333: What You're Asking for is on the Way
Episode 333 Link to join the Open House Café RE Chat this Saturday, July 10th, at 10:00 AM PST/1:00 PM EST https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87017557542?pwd=RFRZNGZ6SXpRS0NtdTRaNFhuZzJFQT09 Meeting ID: 870 1755 7542 Passcode: recovery Help people create a life so good for themselves, they would never want to go back. What lies beyond recovery for you, what is the next chapter? I didn’t get sober so I could just settle. Tamar is from Ontario, Canada and took her last drink on June 17, 2012. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). Today’s show is sponsored by Better Help. You might be an alcoholic if... you report your car stolen, only for it to be found at the house you were drinking at the night before. This is from Miguel Reyes, the host of the Staying Fit ODAAT podcast. Today is July 5th, you can still sign up for our Intensive Dry July course. You’ve still got 11/13 sessions left. Go to Recovery Elevator.com/restore. We’ve got a KILLER group from all over the globe, and It’s been a lot of fun so far. RE now has merch! In fact, I’m wearing an RE hoodie now. Thank you, Stephanie Smale, for all the hard work. RE.comm/merch for your AF threads. Okay, let’s get started - Today, I was going to talk about something else. More specifically that “all emotions are created equal.” A topic, that I still plan on covering, but as I opened my computer and begin writing this intro, I recognized that this is episode 333. Now apart from loving Dan Brown’s Da Vinci code, I was never really into numbers, symbols, shapes, nor the placement of stars and planets at the time of my birth… But as my journey progresses, I’ve become more curious, interested and more importantly open, to all this stuff. So, let’s move forward with an open mind, as we are dipping a toe in the spirituality and higher power waters of recovery… which can be somewhat divisive but also fascinating because I’ve learned there’s a part in all of us, that wants to know, what’s really going on behind the scenes… And spoiler alert, I won’t be answering what’s the purpose of life, but do hope to tie some mathematics and mysticism into living an alcohol-free life. Let’s talk about the number 3, first, then 333. With mystics, mathematicians and physicists, the number 3 is considered the perfect number, the number of harmonies, wisdom and understanding. ... It was also the number of times – past, present, future; birth, life, death; beginning, middle, end – it was the number of the divine. Some guy was resurrected three days after his death, forget his name, but I know it’s significant to many. The a
Mon, June 28, 2021
RE 332: Find More Joy
Episode 332 – Find More Joy One of the biggest things that kept me drinking as I long as I did was that shame circle. I would drink, do something stupid, embarrass myself, feel terrible and then drink again because I couldn’t handle my feelings. Brett is 27 years old, lives in San Francisco, CA and took her last drink on January 2, 2020. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). If you love our intro and outro music then check out the artist DJ NYE on Spotify, and that link is in the show notes. Also in the show notes are links to download, for free, our intro and outro music, That’s with my voice sampling and ET Tolle’s voice samplings. DJ NYE on Spotify . Intro and Outro Music. Intro Paul: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/RE_Paul_Intro.mp3 Intro Eckhart Tolle: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/RE_ET_Intro.mp3 Outro Paul: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/Paul_RE_Outro.mp3 Outro Eckhart Tolle: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/Eckhart_Tolle_Outro.mp3 Today is June 28th. This Thursday, July 1st, is the start date of our intensive 13 session course for the month of July. We meet three times per week, Monday, Thursday and Sunday. Mondays and Thursdays are classroom style format, with intimate breakout rooms and Sundays are for guest speakers, Q&A, and we’ve for an AF Beverage workshop hosted by Kate (episode 315). We polled previous course participants and 72% of them remained alcohol free for the duration of our last course. How cool is that. You’ll have course assignments and daily discussion prompts in your WhatsApp groups. This course is all about connection and having fun. Go to Recoveryelevator.com/restore or click the link in the show notes, to sign up and for more info. And don’t forget that land tortoises are the longest living animals on the planet and that TIB is still the best band in the world. One of those is fact, the other opinion but for the most part undebatable. Okay, let’s get started - I’m going to cover two things today. 1. The importance of purposefully adding more joy into your life and 2. Recently while traveling, I came across the most vicious sports mascot ever. I still get goosebumps when I think of the deadly mascot. Okay, let’s talk about joy. And this may seem like common sense, but it’s not because so
Mon, June 21, 2021
RE 331: Keep Moving Forward
Episode 331 – we hear from Laura! Community is so important. It is so important to connect with ourselves, our source energy, or other people. All those things get disconnected with addiction. Reconnecting with the world is an important part of recovery. On today’s podcast we have Laura who is from Austin, TX and took her last drink on September 16, 2019. This is her journey of living live alcohol free (AF). Headlines Laura’s Amazing Journey [16:04]– you will hear about Laura’s story, and she has some great insights for all of us along this journey to gaining or maintaining sobriety. Paul Churchill is back! He is using his Kermit the frog impression. He missed us all and is so grateful to Odette and all of us for giving him a break this past year. Listen to his insights about his key learnings during the last year [11:20]. Paul describes being sick, mentally physically and spiritually. He is dedicated and energized to continue Recovery Elevator (RE). Season Three! 52 episodes – Paul will do 46 intros; Odette will do 6 and welcome Chris who will do an interview every month RESTORE 13 session alcohol free Dry July course! com/restore 75-minute sessions on Monday, Thursday and Sunday with homework sessions including: Calming the mind Building accountability Dealing with intense emotions How to have fun without alcohol Addressing unhealthy thoughts Sound Healing AF Free beverages and more! Day 1 or more and Patrick and Odette are coaching with Paul. Odette Rocked It and she is still here! Paul gave many stats about how a podcast survives in a pandemic. Paul also learned so much from listening to Odette take the from seat on the podcast. His discoveries among many include: Focus on wholeness Be honest Be vulnerable Time has its own timeline Understanding your relationship with food Expand your team (you are not in this alone) Have Fun! Sobriety is not a curse. Laura’s Story [16:04] Odette welcomes Laura Laura’s last drink was September 16, 2019. Laura feels great and has ups and downs and is present and grateful. She lives in Austin, Texas where she owns a spa and does bodywork and energy work. She is working with Supernatural Recovery. She is a single mom to an 8-year-old daughter and loves meditation and yoga. [17:40] Tell us about your path with drinking Laura grew up in an alcohol abusive family. She started smoking pot and LSD at 14. She didn’t want to drink because of her parent’s drinking. She was rap
Mon, June 14, 2021
RE 330: Break Free From the Matrix
Episode 330– You change and grow and evolve and that’s a good thing. You get better, wiser, stronger and make better decisions. You can’t be afraid of that. Tricia took her last drink on November 14, 2016. She is from Dallas and is 40 years old. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). Today’s episode will be a bit different. Tricia chatted with Paul previously on episodes 100 and 212. We will focus on life beyond the bottle and what happens after you have some sober time under your belt. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-100-binge-drinking-problem-2/ https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-212-the-body-tells-us-where-to-go-next/ Today is the final episode of Season 2. Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st. We are focused on having fun, staying authentic, spicy chili mango, ice cream and helping others along the way. Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message. Odette has encountered many people who feel stuck. They are struggling with letting go of booze. It’s hard to let go of alcohol in a society that encourages drinking. It is normal and part of cognitive dissonance. You can step out of that societal pressure that encourages alcohol consumption. It’s when we resist that it feels the hardest. Choosing to see this journey as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice helps is the first step to breaking free. Choosing to see we are the lucky ones. Alcohol makes false promises. When we engage differently with the world, we learn we are detaching from booze and the matrix. We must be part of society, but we have power to choose and create new experiences. We outgrow our old selves and fitting in with others. Remember you have the power to break free from the matrix. You have the power to heal, make new friends, make different decisions, and focus on a better life. Lean into new beginnings. You matter! You can find peace in your decision to stop drinking. [10:28] Odette welcomes Tricia Tricia took her last drink on November 14, 2016. She describes herself as a high functioning drinker. Her family had addiction issues. Tricia talked about being co-dependent and she was a perfectionist and over achiever. Success validated her. She worked in a service industry and as a chef. She worked hard and drank hard. She was protective of her drinking because she didn’t want anyone to know about her drinking. She was obsessed with making it look like everything was fine. She was a blackout drinker. She was scared about that progression. She was unable to quit for more than a month at a time. She got divorced and used alcohol to cope and avoid her feelings. Her anxiety peaked and her drinking became out of control. One Mo
Mon, June 07, 2021
RE 329: An Arsenal of Why's
Episode 329 – I started to notice the expectations putting an expectation on things or a timeline or predict reactions. I try to do what I can every day and try not to put expectations on things anymore. Dane took his last drink on October 11, 2020. He is from Washington State, and he is 32 years old. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF). Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st. We are focused on having fun, staying authentic and helping others along the way. Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message. Odette spoke about her beloved Peleton and the arsenal of “why’s”. and thought shifts. The instructor encouraged Odette to dig into her arsenal of why’s and keep going. Odette reflected on Simon Sinek’s book, Start with Why. Odette reflected on her time in rehab. She focused on why she was recovering from food addiction. She knew having a family was her why and Actions can be driven by fear or manipulation or love and inspiration. Simon says few people or companies can articulate why they do what they do. Charisma has nothing to do with energy, it come from clarity of WHY. Energy comes from good sleep or caffeine. Charisma comes from loyalty, energy does not. Our purpose is to stay on the path of an alcohol-free life. Odette wants to stay sober so her kids can have a health, not perfect role model. Odette wants to have healthy relationships and break toxic patterns in society . Odette has many why’s and she leans on those whys when her tank is empty. Hard days are part of a good life. Dig into your arsenal of WHY’s. [7:56] Odette introduces Dane Dane took his last drink on October 11, 2020. He lives in Washington State. He is a buy and hold real estate investor. He subcontracts with janitorial work. He is 32 and single. He has a son arriving in June. He was an only child, so he is hoping to make it as fun as possible. He loves to travel, seeing culture, history, and food. He loves cross fit, yoga, the river, boating and is returning to meditation. [10:49] Tell us about your history with drinking? Dane said he started drinking in high school He and a friend drank a fifth. In junior year, beer was the drink of choice. In college he was mixing drinks and he noticed things going downhill. He had a rock bottom moment; he was in a car accident. He was transported to Portland and was in the hospital for 30 days. He was de-gloved. After a year of healing, he returned to college to get his degree. For two months he didn’t drink. When he started again, he would black out and it went downhill from there. [14:13] Were you questioning your relationship with alcohol when your accident occurred? Dane said the night of the accident, he didn’t drink any more than usua
Mon, May 31, 2021
RE 328: F is for Fear
Episode 328 – the quality of my relationships with other people in the world is limited by the quality of my relationship with myself. Adam took his last drink on December 13, 2019. He is from Massachusetts, and he is 37 years old. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF). Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st. We are focused on having fun, staying authentic and helping others along the way. Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message. Odette spoke about early sobriety and thought shifts. Early sobriety can be exhausting because your body is resetting, and your thoughts are playing tug-o-war. You have permission to be tired in early recovery. The mental work is exhausting. Odette referenced Melody Beattie and the Language of Letting Go. Letting go of fear is at the core of codependency. Fear can help you protect yourself. In recovery, waving goodbye to fear allows you to embrace safety, trust, peace, and acceptance. Pay attention to healthy fears and let go of the rest. We can trust and love ourselves. Sometimes what is best for us feels wrong. We oversee letting go of what doesn’t serve us anymore. Peace begins within you. [8:15] Odette introduces Adam Adam took his last drink on December 13, 2019. He lives in Western Massachusetts with his wife and two young children. He is a lawyer. He loves running, hiking, reading, and playing with his two girls. [9:51] Tell us about your history with drinking? Adam said his first love was marijuana. He smoked during high school. His mother died suddenly when he was in college. He stopped smoking pot when he went to law school due to the conflict with legality. Slowly alcohol crept into his life. After a few years, he muted his feelings and pressures at work with alcohol. He quickly started moderating. He moved to Massachusetts and intended to stop drinking, but he was isolated, and his drinking escalated. [12:28] What was your mindset around alcohol? Adam said for him it was always numbing. He liked to drink alone. He struggled with family issues including shame, vulnerability, and food issues. He took on some of the behaviors he saw in his family. [14:00] Did You have food issues as well? Adam said he did struggle with weight as well. In junior year of high school, he lost 70 pounds. He loves running and that has helped him manage his emotions. He has been choosing mediation in the past year. [15:21] How did your drinking evolve? Adam said by 2014, he went to his first AA meeting. He spoke to his therapist about drinking, but he wasn’t ready to deal with it. He developed a pattern of lying about his drinking and he would get caught. He tried to control his drinking by buying nips. </p
Mon, May 24, 2021
RE 327: Trust is Like a Video Game
Episode 327 – trying to stop and think about, is alcohol serving me? I don’t have to decide right now, I need to get back to basics. Chloe took her last drink on June 7, 2020. She is from the UK and is 32 years old. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). Odette gave a shout out to Brainwashed Coffee that is one of the sponsors of the Bozeman retreat. They also donate 50% of their proceeds to those in addiction recovery. https://www.brainwashedcoffeeco.com/ Promo Code: elevator for a 20% discount. Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message. Odette spoke about growing up with her brother, Charlie and playing lots of video games. Odette talked about trust and video games. Trust is earned. The more you do the next right thing and protect your sobriety, you get to the next level, just the way you level up when playing video games. Facing recovery with fun instead of fear helps you recognize your increasing skills that come with practice. [6:09] Odette introduces Chloe Chloe took her last drink on June 7, 2020. She said it has been a crazy journey. Chloe is 32 and lives in the UK. She has a dog, and she loves walking the dog, running, anything active. [7:16] Tell us about your history with drinking? Chloe started drinking at age 15. She was a binge drinker like many of her friends. She didn’t see it as a problem until her mid to late twenties. She started listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast. She reached one-year of sobriety and had a relapse that was lengthy. As of this recording she has 8 months of continuous sobriety. [8:19] What put you on the trajectory to quit drinking? Chloe said she wanted to drink more than she could get away with. As her moderation journey continued, her drinking got worse. She got depressed and was in a bad relationship. She attempted suicide and was put into an inpatient program for depression. She was sneaking alcohol while in the program but didn’t relate the correlation between drinking and her depression, she found AA and discovered she could have a happy life without drinking. [11:01] Did the doctors treating your depression ask about your drinking? Chloe said she played down her drinking. She thought everyone did that. Alcohol was such a crutch, and it was something she looked forward to, so it was hard to get her head around stopping. [12:30] How did you end up at your first AA meeting? Chloe said the more she tried to moderate, the more out of control her drinking became. She answered yes to every question on an alcohol quiz. She was able to relate to what people in AA said. They were able to have a happy, functional life without alcohol. It helped her change her thinking about dr
Mon, May 17, 2021
RE 326: REwriting Stories
Episode 326 – playing forward and playing it present -- if I drink again, why would I want to go down that path? Erik took his last drink on March 9, 2019. He is from upstate New York. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF). This quarter’s Recovery Elevator donation went to “The Phoenix.” thephoenix.org Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message. Odette is training for a marathon. She reached out to her fitness coach Paul from RecoveryFit1 to get some guidance on training, cross-training, etc. She has noticed the training for the race is re-training her brain, rewriting her story and building her confidence. Crossing the finish line of a marathon is scary for Odette. During her childhood, she participated in the rally portion of the mini-Olympics. She fell and as a result her team was in last place. From then on, she told herself she was not a runner. Odette recognizes we often get stuck in our stories because those stories are all we know. We need to believe we can do things differently. She is using visualization techniques to overcome her old stories. What stories are we telling ourselves about our alcohol-free journey? Are those stories holding you back or keeping you stuck? How can you re-write your story? [8:53] Odette introduces Erik Erik took his last drink on March 9, 2019. His journey includes ups, downs, and stability. He grew up in upstate New York and lives in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, He is 42, single and living it up in the sunshine state. Erik loves binge watching TV (COVID), meet-up.com, brunch, dinner, event planning, relaxing and baths. [11:23] Tell us about your history with drinking? Erik took his first drink at junior prom and found his dad’s secret stash of Manhattan’s. He didn’t drink much until college. He remembers the Bridge Street Run and he got completely wasted and was on camera when the local news covered the event. His drinking progressed from there. He moved to Los Angeles and in 2010 he got his first DUI. He knew his drinking was a problem and he started looking at his drinking more closely. His DUI stemmed from a party that included friends from college. At 3 AM, he remembers driving home and avoiding someone on the side of the road. He passed an accident and almost ran over the cops. His recollection was foggy because he was so intoxicated. He exited the freeway on Hollywood Blvd., was arrested and the cops took him back to the scene of the accident so he could see where he almost ran the cops over. His friends came to pick him up and told him, ‘It’s ok, it happens to everyone’. [17:55] What happened after the DUI? Eric looks at his drinking career through the lens of his DUI’s because he’s had three in ten years. He went to AA after the first DU
Mon, May 10, 2021
RE 325: Death as a Life Tool
Episode 325 – I used to drink at people when I was upset and those were bad nights. I believed alcohol calmed me down and got me out of the anger. Gillian took her last drink on November 9, 2019. She is from Boston and loves playing video games. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). https://www.getgruvi.com/ discount code: recoveryelevator Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message. Odette has been thinking about death. She has anxiety about dying. She read a chapter in the Untethered Soul. The author, Michael A. Singer said having an active relationship with death is healthy. “It is truly a great cosmic paradox that one of the best teachers in all of life turns out to be death. No person or situation could teach as much as death has to teach you. While someone could tell you, you are not your body, death shows you. While someone could remind you of the insignificance of the things that you cling to, death takes them away in a second. Death makes us all the same.” Keeping death at the forefront of our mind helps us stay in the moment. We can stop focusing on the future or dwelling on the past and appreciate every moment. Full presence with her children gives Odette great joy. In the moment, Odette is learning to appreciate what she has. She knows we can avoid thinking about death, but it’s inevitable. When we choose sobriety, we remove a huge block that prevents us from being in the moment. Odette still has other blocks, yet she is motivated to stay sober by those moments when she can understand what being fully present is. The more time she spends away from alcohol, the more presence is available to her. Value what you have, honor where you are and be grateful! [10:25] Odette introduces Gillian Gillian took her last drink on November 9, 2019. She lives in Boston, she is a biochemist and for fun she reads, plays video games and hangs out with her husband and kitty. [11:29] Tell us about your history with drinking? Gillian started drinking at age 22. She was a late comer to drinking. She had a glass of wine at 18 and had such intense shame about drinking. She drank more in grad school and started with Bud Lite, and her drinking quickly escalated. She was frequently sick and within a year she was a daily drinker. Her tolerance doubled. She tried to moderate for five years. Eventually, she realized moderation would not work. [13:27] Tell me more about the shame your experienced with your first drink? Gillian is a rule follower. She had trouble liking who she was. She didn’t like or accept her body. At 18 she was feeling shame about food she ate. It was a difficult time in her life. [14:39] Tell me more about your moderation attempts.
Mon, May 03, 2021
RE 324: Puzzle Pieces in Recovery
Episode 324 – I guess it’s my pride. It’s ego which is not a good thing. It’s almost a year and I realized, OMG, it’s the best year of my life. Bobbie took her last drink on December 16, 2019. She is from upstate New York. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message. Odette was inspired by Brian who hosted one of the Café RE chats. Evolution of sobriety isn’t always linear or a straight shot. We assume it will be an upgrade. However, sobriety can be messy. You can feel stuck and get into victim mentality. Odette compared sobriety to a puzzle. Sometimes it can feel like we are going backwards. When looking at the puzzle, we grab different pieces. Sometimes the piece doesn’t fit, but we make a mental note and later in the journey, the puzzle piece fits. Traveling backwards is common because the tool or lesson may have not made sense at the time, but it does later in the journey. Everything has a purpose and it’s there for a reason. We don’t always see the bigger picture. We need to accept that unlike a puzzle …. the journey never ends. There is no destination, it’s about the journey. It’s not about being (un)loveable, morality, making mistakes, it’s about discovering our wholeness. We don’t quit quitting. It’s about resilience. [11:59] Odette introduces Bobbie Bobbie took her last drink on December 16, 2019 She lives in snowy upstate New York. She has family in Connecticut. She has two business that she launched in 2020. She loves volleyball, reading, puzzles, Zumba and is learning how to adjust the fun in our new environment. [13:54] Tell us about your history with drinking? Bobbie started drinking at 15. She remembers the first time she got caught for drinking. Her biological father was an alcoholic. She knew she shouldn’t drink because she didn’t want to be like her father. Growing up, Bobbie spent a lot of time with people in recovery because there was a lot of addiction in her family. She went to Al-Ateen and many AA picnics. She believes that she developed an addiction to gambling because she was trying to avoid an addiction to drinking. She resented having to go to these events because it wasn’t her problem. Now her view has evolved. She didn’t embrace anything 12-step until 2017. [17:32] What was your trajectory of drinking vs. gambling? Bobbie said she was a truck driver in her early twenties. She didn’t party when she was driving. She drank to excess on the weekends which she felt was normal because everyone was doing it. In her thirties she drank with her husband (he was the DD). She was gambling in the background, but her drinking was a problem. In 2017 she went to rehab and focused on gambling first. She wen
Mon, April 26, 2021
RE 323: Leading a Double Life
Episode 323 – I have to say I feel less isolated in a pandemic than I ever did drinking. It has been so good to go through a pandemic sober. Lauren took her last drink on December 19, 2018. She lives in Canada and is 37 years old. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). Shout out to Jeni’s ice cream who is one of the sponsors of our Bozeman retreat. https://jenis.com/ Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message. Odette reflected on a March NPR article titled, “A sharp, off the charts’ rise in alcoholic liver disease among young women. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/03/16/973684753/sharp-off-the-charts-rise-in-alcoholic-liver-disease-among-young-women It’s important this article is placed in a bucked about the global crisis, the COVID-19 pandemic. The article referenced a 30-year-old woman who was diagnosed with alcoholic hepatitis. She drank nearly a liter of liquor every evening. Doctors are seeing patients whose drinking has edged up in the last year. In conversations, physicians recognize it’s astronomical and life threatening. The survival rate for alcoholic hepatitis and cirrhosis varies but can be as low as ten percent. The CDC has not compiled additional statistics since the pandemic began, however physicians are aware of the upswing as they see more hospitalizations and fatalities. While men have consistently driven the statistics, young women are driving the numbers up. Many are crossing the bridge from normal drinking to problematic drinking. What are the signs? The rock bottom aha moments? Sobriety isn’t easy, but Odette is no longer living a double life. Odette wants to do more to help those who are struggling with alcohol addiction. [8:27] Odette introduces Lauren Lauren took her last drink on December 19, 2018 (sobriety date 12/20/2018). She has been sober for 750 days (as of this recording). She has several friends she has met through 12-step programs that are going through the same things. Lauren is from Ontario, Canada and is 37 years old. She lives with her partner and they co-parent his children. They have a cat and are adopting a dog. Lauren is a housing work and helps homeless people in her community which is even more challenging due to COVID. Lauren enjoys running, hiking, reading, art, painting, and travel. Her reading comprehension has improved with sobriety. [14:19] Tell us about your history with drinking? Lauren had a normal childhood and started drinking in high school. She remembers in her last year of high school a friend saying he had never seen h
Mon, April 19, 2021
RE 322: A Safe Container
Episode 322 – the hardest part is relaxing into this idea that you can have the most incredibly beautiful moment followed by an incredibly dark moment and that’s just the path of life. Marcella took her last drink on September 6, 2018. She lives in San Diego. Marcella lives in the arena and she shares her journey with the world on sobriety, parenting, and authentic Mexican food. She leads from the front in a transparent way that is very inspiring. This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF). Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message. Odette reflected on her recent comments about judgement. When we feel judgement creeping up, we need to remind ourselves that person we are judging is a flawed human trying their best … just like me. When we bring judgment into recovery space because someone is doing it differently than we are we invite shame. If we want to help others recover, we need to detach from our shame. We need to manage our own path. Odette referenced an Instagram post from Lara Fraser saying, “nobody gets to define your recovery but you. You don’t get to have an opinion on someone else’s recovery – that’s control. Control brings us closer to our ego and further from our soul’s expansion. Odette referenced Demi Lovato who is being criticized for her actions in her path to recovery. The reality is we are meant to stumble, to fall and to have a messy path. When you are in the spotlight – everyone is watching your falls and judging them. Let’s give ourselves and each other permission to have our own messy journey and don’t explain ourselves to others or worry about judgment. Odette referenced a concept from Brene Brown’s book, Dare to Lead. Brene says, the biggest barrier to a safe container is shame. Everybody needs a small, safe place to act and talk about doing hard work. A place where you don’t have to be awesome or cool. You need to be un-cool, awkward, and goofy. We should strive to create safe containers where people can ask questions and be heard. Leading by fear and perfectionist cultures does not allow us to create safe containers. Perfection has no room in a safe container. At Recovery Elevator, our goal is to provide a safe container for you. You matter, and we are here for you. [7:33] Odette introduces Marcella This episode was recorded in March which is Women’s Month and Odette is excited to have a fellow Mexicana share who is standing in her truth and unapologetically owning her power. Marcella said she is flawed like others and recognizes age helps you realize you only get one shot at this life and you need to live it authentically because if you don’t and you continue pleasing others hiding your truth, you get sick and you die. Everything is on the table. Marcella made it clear she is sharing from her own path, pe
Mon, April 12, 2021
RE 321: Alcoholism is a Family Disease
Episode 321 – Be kind to yourself. It’s ok to give yourself as much love as you are giving to someone in active addiction. Give yourself love and grace. It’s ok not to be ok. It’s ok not to have all the answers. Today’s podcast will be a slight departure from our traditional format. Today we will hear from Aimee, who is the wife of one of our members. Aimee will share from the perspective of what it’s like to live with someone struggling with alcohol addiction. Aimee is the wife of Kris, one of the members of Café RE. Kris shared his message on episodes 175 and 278. He also does a lot of work for Café RE. Take a listen. Kris stands out by helping others and being of service. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-175-anxiety-and-alcohol/ https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-278-day-one-emotions/ Registration for the Bozeman retreat is open for Café RE members today and will be available for non-members tomorrow. For details, go to: www.recoveryelevator.com/bozeman . Odette’s Weekly Message – Finding your better you. Odette is focusing on loved ones. She is an adult child of an alcoholic. She has experienced her own struggles with addiction and married someone who struggles with addiction. When Odette’s Dad went into treatment, she was advised by the counselor that the whole family would be impacted. While only one family member has the disease, everyone gets infected at some level. Being a part of the solution for her Dad was a tough spill to swallow. Odette attended Al-Anon to learn how to take care of herself while her Dad was treating his addiction. Odette remembers how scary some of the meetings were because of the number of broken relationships. Her inclination was to try to fix the problem, but she quickly learned she had to get out of the way and learn to take care of herself. She is still learning to detach with love by setting boundaries. [10:33] Odette introduces Aimee. Aimee is 37 and lives in North Dakota with Kris and their two kids. She is a teacher, loves playing piano, singing, and leading worship at her church. [13:45] Tell us about your journey and how you experienced life with Kris. Aimee met Kris her freshman year of college and fell in love right away. She was so enthralled with him; everything seemed normal. Kris was deployed overseas in the military. He would call Aimee and was always drinking when he called home to deal with the stress of deployment. Aimee knew there was a problem. They got married, and when Kris came back from deployment, Aimee got pregnant right away. Kris was deployed again, and Aimee didn’t drink because she was pregnant. Kris ca
Mon, April 05, 2021
RE 320: Post COVID Planning
Episode 320 - Keep an open mind and see what happens. Reach out to people, make sober friends, and you are going to find your way. Just let go. Cassie took her last drink on August 29, 2019. She is from Colorado and is 30 years old. This is her story of being Alcohol-Free (AF). Café RE Merch https://www.recoveryelevator.com/merch/ Discount code: PANDA Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message Odette has been speaking with many people who got sober and stayed sober during the pandemic. She is amazed and impressed with these folks making major life choices to ditch the booze during a global crisis. Odette wants to remind you …. you can do hard things. As Covid begins to recede, Odette can't help but wonder what post-Covid sobriety will look like? As we return to normal or the new normal, how do we prepare for what's next? Odette likened this to her rehab experience and working with her rehab team to develop a treatment plan when she left rehab. Many people fear leaving rehab because you are going back into the real world without the safety of a controlled, safe space. What does your treatment plan or sobriety toolbox look like for the "new normal" after COVID restrictions have subsided? What boundaries and guidelines do you need to set up for yourself? Proper preparation prevents poor performance – thank you, Odette's Dad, Carlos. Develop a plan to protect your sobriety. [07:53] Odette introduces Cassie Cassie's last drink was August 29, 2019. She is celebrating18 months and switching up some of her tools to maintain sobriety. Cassie leads Café RE's "young people" chat. Odette was recently contacted by a 19-year-old trying to find his place in sobriety. Cassie said it's incredible for someone so young to start a recovery journey. She encouraged all young listeners to keep an open mind, reach out, find sober friends, let go, and you will find your people and your way! [11:12] Tell us a bit of your background. Cassie is 29 years old, living in Denver, and is a receptionist for a urology clinic while pursuing her Bachelor's in nursing. She is doing pre-requisites now. She lives with her boyfriend, recently bought a house, and has two dogs. She loves snowboarding during the winter, paddle boarding, hiking, and rock climbing during the summer and hopes to explore dirt biking soon. [13:14] Tell us about your history with drinking. Cassie had her first drink at thirteen. One of her first memories is stealing peppermint schnapps with a neighbor at her parent's house. She got alcohol poisoning, and her mom sent her to middle school the following day with a hangover. She had to clean up her mess after school. By freshman year of high school, she
Mon, March 29, 2021
RE 319: Have Your Cake and Eat it too
Episode 319 - When I was stressed out at work or stressed by a social situation, alcohol would fix it temporarily, until it didn’t. Now I’m accepting moods, feelings and phases come and go and it’s all okay. Korie took her last drink on March 21, 2019. She is from Texas and is 32 years old. This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). A request from Recover Elevator We have a request; we would like to hear more from you! Please consider making a one-minute video sharing your, “you might need to ditch the booze if… story”. Hold your camera sideways, make it less than a minute and send it to: info@recoveryelevator.com . Make it authentic to yourself and your journey. We will post your video on Instagram. If you share your Instagram handle, we will post that as well. We look forward to seeing more of you on our page. Instagram: @recovery elevator. Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message Rediscovering your life beyond recovery. You are all unique. We are more than a drinking problem; we are more than recovery. The life we now enjoy would disappear if we returned to drinking. It is easy to feel uniqueness –submerged in recovery. In sobriety we don’t know when things will get better, but they do. Sobriety is a piece of your whole life. We all have the opportunity to learn and re-learn who we are. Maintenance is important to secure your sobriety. If you stay the course, you get to graduate. You always focus on maintaining sobriety, but it’s not all day every day, it becomes a piece of your broader life. There are so many benefits to being present in sobriety – you can have your cake and eat it too. [8:12] Odette introduces Korie Korie said her last drink was 3/21/19. She grew up in Austin, Texas and is 32 years old. Korie was abroad and lived in Japan and Singapore and came to the US when she was 6 years old. She is engaged and just bought a home outside of Austin. Pre-quarantine, Korie was a social butterfly. Now, she stays home more than she used to and loves getting outside, running, reading, drawing and anything artsy. [11:46] Tell us about your history with drinking. Korie doesn’t remember her first drink of alcohol. She would have a sip or two of her Mom’s wine and thought it was disgusting. In high school she was in a few programs that required her to sign a contract saying she wouldn’t drink or party. She followed the rules. In college she remembers drinking, getting dizzy, self-control was gone, and she didn’t want it to stop because she liked the feeling. She didn’t drink often. She worked in the restaurant industry which breeds lots of drinking. It felt normal, until it didn’t. When she graduated from college, she moved to Spain to become an Au Pair and drank a lot there.
Mon, March 22, 2021
RE 318: Unexpected Perks of Sobriety
Episode 318 - No matter what comes your way, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. So, live with it, don’t try to change it and do the next right thing. Tony took his last drink on October 24, 2020. He is a 42-year-old Canadian. This is his story of living alcohol-free (AF) Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message Recently Odette has been asking listeners, what is a perk of getting sober? The answers have included, no hangovers, improved sleep, wallet and overall health. Odette also asked listeners about the ripple effect, the not so obvious outcomes of living AF. The responses included: Ability to manage my finances Ability to help others who are struggling Stronger and more meaningful relationships I am present and more productive participant of my life I understand and feel gratitude I am more aligned with the person I work so hard to be I am a better employee Building confidence Better hand-eye coordination Path of emotional discovery Running and being active Understanding my authentic identity and not being so self-conscious when sharing my authentic self with the world I learned to ski Anything is possible when you are not hungover Patient Nicer House is cleaner Tackling projects New friends People in sobriety are not boring, they are cool and fun Repairing relationships Procrastinate less Better parent, more firm, able to hold boundaries and be kinder More playful Don’t need a shield (glasses) to hide anymore I’m a morning person I have fun I binge eat less I’m proud I am more organized Sobriety tools become life tools that help us become better versions of ourselves. Odette is more forgiving of herself and others. Her standards, for herself and others have changed. She is less of a perfectionist. She has more grace toward herself and others. She is more connected to her humanity and doing her best, day by day. She says what she really means, vs what she thinks she needs to say. She is okay with not being liked by everyone and aware of her tendency to be a people pleaser. What are your unexpected perks of sobriety? [8:50] Odette introduces Tony. Tony took his last drink on October 24, 2020. He is from St. Paul, Alberta, Canada. Has 3 children: a son (18), a daughter (15), a daughter (10) and a stepson (23). He is currently a full-time student since his career came to a halt when he entered rehab last year. Tony enjoys anything outdoors, particularly tobogganing, snowboarding, skiing …anything outside. He is currently separated from his wife. [12:34] Tell us about your hist
Mon, March 15, 2021
RE 317: Debunking: Sober is Boring
Episode 317 - Lean into the support from people who want to help you. Dig into yourself. There is an endless well of spirit, heart, and capacity that we all have. We just need to tap into it—everything you need you have. Lunita took her last drink on October 10, 2020. She is from San Diego. This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF) BetterHelp Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR . Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message There is a myth of sobriety, that sobriety is not fun. Odette finds joy when people debunk this myth. Some of her favorite badass sober stories include: Bradley Cooper – sober at 29 years old. He attributes his career success to his sobriety. Brad Pitt – credits his sobriety to Bradley Cooper. Florence Welsh – sobriety does not doom you to boredom. David Lloyd George, British Prime Minister in the early 1900’s, backed the licensing bill. Dax Shepherd says he wouldn’t have anything he has without his sobriety. His guests and podcast sponsors are a lot of fun. Anthony Hopkins recently hit 45 years, sober saying, “Hang in there. Today is the tomorrow you were so worried about yesterday. Young- people, don’t give up. Just keep in there” Cristiano Ronaldo, a Portuguese soccer player, is sober. His father passed from alcohol abuse, and Cristiano has changed his life trajectory and is a role model of sobriety for his family. Al Pacino, Jamie Lee Curtis, Robert Downey, Jr., Eminem, Chrissy Teigen, Keith Urban, Kelly Osbourne, Ben Affleck, Gillian Jacobs, James Franco, John Travolta, Shakira, J.Lo, Stephen King, Eva Mendes, Tom Cruise, Natalie Portman, Elton John, Zac Efron, Tyra Banks, Daniel Radcliffe, Demi Lovato, Chris Martin (Coldplay) among many others are on the sober team. We are not alone, we are not boring, quite the contrary. Sobriety is the gateway to authenticity. How do you feel about joining the alcohol-free club and staying in it with us? [8:57] Odette Introduces Lunita Lunita is Latina like Odette. She hit reset on October 10, 2020. She is an American-born bi-cultural person from San Diego and a single mom. Her father is from Panama, and her mother is from Mexico. Her daughters are 9 and 11. She is a yoga teacher and healing arts practitioner. She loves nature, plant medicine, yoga, and she is a poet, writer, painter and loves anything to do with arts and the body. [11:42] Tell us about your history with drinking? <p
Mon, March 08, 2021
RE 316: Sober VS In Recovery
Episode 316 – When I get an urge or a craving, I'll be better next time this creeps up. Paul took his last drink on February 29, 2020. He is from Long Island and is 30 years old. This is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Today's sponsor is Firebrew. They are also sponsoring our Bozeman retreat. https://www.mindyourmanna.co/ Discount Code: RE10off Finding Your Better You – Odette's weekly message What is the difference between being sober and being in recovery? The definition of sobriety is the condition of not having any measurable levels or effects from alcohol or other drugs. Sobriety is also considered to be the natural state of a human being at birth. Recovery signifies you know you have a problem and are trying to fix it. It doesn't mean you resolve your issues right away. You recognize something is wrong, which is a critical part of getting help. https://7summitpathways.com/blog/what-does-it-mean-in-recovery/#:~:text=What%20Being%20in%20Recovery%20Means,synonymous%20with%20%E2%80%9Cin%20remission.%E2%80%9D When you are in recovery, you feel a kinship to others in recovery, make decisions based on how they will impact your recovery, adjust friendships and relationships based on how they affect recovery, and never let down your guard. Can you be sober and not in recovery? Yes, abstaining is the first part. A recovery mindset allows you to grow and develop your self-awareness. It helps you question your relationships and boundaries. Recovery is for everyone. You don't have to be an "alcoholic." Recovery is about being open to change and adjustments in your life – asking for help. Many of us abstain for some time before we are ready for recovery. The recovery mindset allows for growth, new connections, and community. Are you ready to step into the arena of recovery? We are here and ready for you. [7:43] Odette introduces Paul Paul took his last drink on February 29, 2020. He is from Long Island, NY, and lives in Brooklyn. He is a Physical Education teacher and a personal trainer. He trains for fun, is getting into karate, and likes getting out into nature, which isn't easy in Brooklyn. Paul opened his training business during COVID. He leveraged COVID as an opportunity to pivot the world of fitness and adapt to the new normal. Paul started drinking toward the end of high school. Cannabis was his first substance, not alcohol. When he went to college, his drinking dialed up. In his mid 20's cannabis wasn't helping anymore, so his drinking escalated and became a problem. As Paul reflects, his Dad overdosed when he was twelve, and his mother now has twelve years of sobriety. Childhood issues contributed to his
Mon, March 01, 2021
RE 315: Change and Compassion
– I can’t even imagine picking up a drink to solve something anymore. It doesn’t even cross my mind. Kate took her last drink on August 11, 2018. She is 42 and lives in New Jersey. This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Today’s sponsor is Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR . Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message Odette has been thinking about the process of change. When she is having a down day, she wonders, am I doing recovery right? Am I making progress? Is the work worth it? It’s muddy and contradictory, particularly with our labeling minds. We think bad days mean we are doing something wrong, and negative emotions are guides in the wrong direction. On hard days, Odette uses more tools, which probably means she is making more progress. Holly Whittaker posted on her Instagram page a sketch that highlights the Hourglass of Change. It shows there is a range of emotions from start to goal. Odette thinks we need to learn to appreciate the hourglass of change, label-less, and accept more. Negative emotions have a place in our chapter of change. When Odette looks for peace instead of euphoria and moves gently with her feelings, she remembers compassion is critical. We need to have compassion for ourselves and others. Let us remember that we are all on the same path, wanting to connect with others and feel like we belong. If sobriety is kicking you in the butt right now, don’t be so hard on yourself. Take it as a sign of progress. You are on the right track. You are right where you are supposed to be. [7:30] Odette introduces Kate Kate took her last drink on August 11, 2018. She is 42, lives in New Jersey, and works for Recovery Elevator. Kate said she was born and raised in New Jersey. She, her husband Jay, and their cats keep life interesting. Kate works in the art world. She is crafty and knits, sews, and cross stitches. She loves to exercise and get outside. [8:54] Give listeners some background on your history with drinking Kate said she took her first drink at 14. She was severely inebriated and blacked out. The only other time she drank in high school, she blacked out. Kate went to college in Pennsylvania, and drinking was part of the culture. She was in a sorority, and everyone drank on the weekends. Her drinking seemed normal and what everyone was doing. After college, she started to notice some demons.
Mon, February 22, 2021
RE 314: What’s going to happen?
Gregg took his last drink 26 years ago (November 6th, 1994). This is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Bozeman registration opens March 1st to Café RE members. On March 6th registration opens to all. You can find more details about the event here . Trust us… you don’t want to miss this! Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You It’s been a little bit of time since the 1st of the year. Those resolutions we all made might now be changing from determination and drive and into a place of the unknown. If you’ve stuck with your resolution, you are far enough in that you can’t see where you started but the end isn’t in focus yet. Not knowing how the outcome will play out can be scary. When we ask “what is going to happen?” it blocks our ability to function today and in the now. Things will work out, if we let them. [7:52] Odette introduces Gregg. Gregg lives in Los Angeles. He is married and has two amazing daughters. For a living he is a recovery coach and also owns a few sober living facilities. He is an advisor in many startups as well. For fun he likes to body surf, skateboard and eats ice cream (mint chocolate chip!). [12:20] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Gregg’s father was killed in a drunk driving accident when he was 4 years old. From a young age he understood the power of alcohol. Being raised by a single mother he always felt different. He grew up as a bully because he was scared and sensitive. Around 12/13 he discovered pot and alcohol. That “medicine” took away his shame and pain. As an adult he started with a pattern of drinking, leading to cocaine, leading to pot, leading to bad decisions. Between 22 and 25 he was arrested 8 times. He got into the drug trade and while it provided a “nice life” there was overwhelming amounts of shame regarding his life choices, and he was eventually arrested with 50 lbs of pot. The judge gave him another chance, but he was arrested again 18 days later. In the cell the next morning he heard a voice that said, “call your mother”. She told him to go to church and while there he went to confession. Unbeknownst to Gregg, the priest he gave confession to was his step fathers first sponsor in AA. He went to AA that evening. [24:39] How were those 90 meetings in 90 days for you? Gregg said he was accountable because he had a court card. At first he was just looking to “get the heat off”. Around day 30 the pink cloud appeared, and he felt clear headed and healthy. He found connection with some people in AA. The boxing lessons also helped his life balance. When he got sober in 1994, there were not a lot of people in their 20s doing the same thing. He lost a lot of friendships in the process. [30:47] What bigger motivations did you have to stay the cou
Thu, February 18, 2021
RE Bonus Episode: Odette and Paul Q&A
Bonus Episode – Odette and Paul answer listeners questions I still find it difficult that my husband drinks every day. I don't know why it makes me feel angry inside, but I do all the time when he drinks. How can I approach this? Odette said, stay on your lane. The more you focus on him, the less you will focus on your healing and your journey. In learning about yourself and healing yourself, you can start to implement boundaries and assert your needs vs. obsess over how much he is drinking. Therapy helps. Pull your energies back to yourself. What do you suggest I do when friends and family seem uncomfortable around me when I say I don't drink? Paul said you can get started on 2.0 version of your life. So much more is packed into this than just quitting drinking. You are stepping out of the norm, roles, identities, and labels in your family. Learn to set boundaries, overcome the need to please. Give it time, and they're watching. This doesn't mean they aren't supportive. They are on their own journey as well. What are the plans for Recovery Elevator (RE)? What is in the works? The podcast will evolve to include additional voices. Paul will return in some capacity. Retreats (Rustic Retreats, like Bozeman, Hotel events, retreat centers, and AF travel). A Retreat Center is contemplated. A Rat Park experiment, an in-person community, is being considered. (insert link) How did you best handle your early days of an alcohol-free life? What practices do you use now daily? Odette has used different tools but consistently exercises, sees a therapist, stays connected via on-line chats and in-person meet-ups that are COVID safe. Paul said the most challenging and most rewarding experience in his life was quitting drinking. Paul left Bozeman for his first month of sobriety because there were too many triggers. He took long walks for 30 days, particularly to a fantastic waterfall. As his recovery evolved, he is mindful of the interchange. He goes to his internal connection, and the outside triggers stopped affecting him. He found some inner peace. If you could trade your life now for being able to drink like a normal person magically, would you? Odette said, no, senor! In the first few years, Paul said he had thoughts of drinking, and he was in the victim role – longing for the old days when he could drink normally. Now his energy has changed, and his life now has no space for alcohol or drinking. I hear in AA all of the time that those who don't go to meetings regularly are sure to go back out and drink. Odette said the opposite of addiction is connection. It's a great time to be sober with virtual meetin
Mon, February 15, 2021
RE 313: An Antidote to Judgement
Carolyn took her last drink on February 22, 2019. This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message. Dehumanizing Others. After listening to Brene Brown, Odette loved Brene’s challenge of not engaging in dehumanizing others. We can’t change the world if we continue dehumanizing others. Odette was also reading Pema Chodron’s new book and concluded that polarization is most problematic when we dehumanize people. Habitually dehumanizing others about politics or behavior or clothing isn’t good. Minor differences in habits and preferences keep us fundamentally separate from others. The division exists everywhere, even in recovery. Odette has observed others judging other’s approaches to recovery. We judge people for NA beer or not drinking NA beer, AA or no AA. We continue to create division instead of closing the gaps. Pema Chodron has a practice called “just like me.” Just like me, this person doesn’t want to be uncomfortable. Just like me, this person loses it sometimes. Just like me, this person wants friends and intimacy. Focus on the similarities, not the differences. You can have boundaries without dehumanizing others. [7:35] Odette introduces Carolyn Carolyn took her last drink on February 22, 2019. She lives in Wisconsin and is 34 years old. She lives in Wisconsin, is single, no kids, and has fun with her German shepherd pup. Carolyn loves drawing, painting, murals, golf, snowboarding, camping, hiking, etc. She works as a graphic artist. Living in the polar vortex of Wisconsin can be challenging, but it makes her appreciate the seasons more. [11:01] Tell me about your history with drinking Carolyn started drinking when she was 14 years old (2000). She would drink on the weekends and look forward to drinking. It was a big part of her identity and made her feel cool and accepted. Carolyn’s drinking ramped up when she went to college. She worked in a restaurant and played rugby and had lots of opportunities to drink. Drinking continued to be a significant part of her identity. She met her significant other in 2008, and they were drinking buddies, a party couple. She knew something was off but wasn’t sure what it was. [13:30] Did you start questioning if alcohol was a problem at that time? Carolyn didn’t see alcohol as a problem initially, but she was aware that several areas of her life were not jiving. Looking back, she can see many events and relationships influenced by alcohol, but she didn’t see it at the moment. [14:49] Were you rationalizing your drinking as something sophisticated? At her college graduation, she was surrounded by friends and family. She was drunk, and her boyfriend p
Mon, February 08, 2021
RE 312: Alcohol Abuse & Eating Disorders
Holly took her last drink on January 4, 2007. This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message. Odette and Holly met in treatment. In 2013, they went to Montecatini together to work on their eating disorders. Odette believed that if she could stop her obsession with food and reach a healthy weight, she would be normal. However, she didn’t address the emotional reasons behind her eating disorder. A few years later, she found herself using alcohol as her new coping mechanism. The behaviors that led to her unhealthy relationship with food mirrored the behaviors of her relationship with alcohol. Up to 35% of people who abused alcohol also have an eating disorder. This rate is 11 times greater than the general population. For more information on these statistics, see: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/ The stigma for eating disorders is greater than the stigma for alcohol use disorder, so many people struggle in silence. Odette believes the only way out is through. Get to the root cause of your addiction. Be aware of co-occurring addictions. Don’t run away from your feelings or numb them with a substance. Find a community. Get professional help. When seeking help, be specific. Find a therapist specializing in addiction, whether it is alcohol, food, drugs, or whatever else. Get specific. Don’t feel perpetually stuck in addiction whack-a-mole. We can do hard things. [9:14] Odette introduces Holly Holly took her last drink on January 4, 2007. Holly is from Montana. She moved to Southern California over 15 years ago for graduate school. She currently works for Mental Health Systems as an employment specialist, helping those with behavioral health issues get employment. On the weekends, she works for a rehab in San Diego as a rehab specialist. Holly has fun playing games. Codeword is her latest favorite. She also enjoys listening to books, music and hanging out with her dog Hannay. [11:56] Tell me about your history with drinking Holly started experimenting with alcohol in college. She grew up in a conservative home. She was allowed to drink with adults present, but her family was traditional with alcohol use. Holly didn’t drink in high school. She was a rule follower. Her drinking took off when she was 21, when it was legal and escalated after her engagement. She attended Fuller Theological Seminary, intending to become a Presbyterian minister. She drank heavily every day and hid her drinking. [13:39] Did you start questioning your drinking habits at that time? When Holly lived in Montana, she drank like everyone else. When she moved to Cali
Mon, February 01, 2021
RE 311: S is for Self Sabotage
Emmy took her last drink on December 8, 2019. This is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message. Odette spoke about a personal and very sensitive issue: she is an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. She took charge of her recovery but recently identified some behaviors and coping mechanisms she was hoping to skip over that are rooted in her early years growing up in an alcoholic home. Odette realized she had been stuck in a pattern of self-sabotage for years in many aspects of her life, some more dangerous than others. Self-sabotage showed up in her relationships with friends, at school, and with her husband. While Odette doesn’t like the label of being an adult child of an alcoholic, she has come to realize she can’t wish the consequences away. Pain in our families makes our emotional state a bit disheveled. We live waiting for the other shoe to drop. We were guarded and untrusting. This state became our normal: the feeling that something is wrong all of the time. Odette is focused on understanding the impact self-sabotage has on her behavior. She is practicing new behaviors. She is working on making small shifts – to see things differently. No matter how destructive our behavior has been in the past, we can experience new ways of being. [9:38] Odette introduces Emmy Emmy took her last drink on December 8, 2019. She is from Fort Worth, Texas, and she is 30 years old. Emmy is a recreational therapist who works with children and adults with various disabilities. She is single, no kids, and lives with her five-year-old dog Petey. She has fun participating in her recovery, getting to know who she is, and learning to become her own friend. [13:06] Can you give listeners some background on your history with drinking? Emmy said she started drinking around 16 or 17. She was at a friend’s house where somebody had brought over a bottle of alcohol mixed with Propel and thought it was cool. She remembers the first sip giving her this sort of warm feeling inside and thinking, ‘nothing bad can ever happen with this.’ She kept that routine going every weekend as a teenager. When she went to college, she found an excuse to drink every night, whether trivia night or intramural sports. She also worked in a restaurant and could drink behind the bar. Everybody was doing it, so it didn’t seem like a problem at the time. She graduated college and worked in a nursing home by day and a restaurant by night. She was working 50-60 hours a week, which gave her another excuse to drink because she worked so hard. [14:45] At this point, were you starting to question your relationship with alcohol, or were you thinking this is just what people do? Emmy said she knew as a teenager; it may become
Mon, January 25, 2021
RE 310: Positive Relationships
Sasha took her last drink on May 19th, 2019. This is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Check out the free meditations on the Recovery Elevator page here ! Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You When Odette doesn’t want to forget something, she sends herself an email. Recently she found one to herself with the subject line: Positive Relationships. The body of the email said simply: “The biggest factor for cultivating resilience” (Season 17, Grey’s Anatomy) We need resilience when embarking on this journey. Not just for this, but for everything life throws at us. Our journey is far from perfect, when we fall we need the courage to get back up and that’s why we need community. This is why together is better. Having one person in your corner can make a huge difference for you. How many positive relationships to you have and are you fostering them? [7:19] Odette introduces Sasha. Sasha is from New Jersey and works in IT. She lives with her fiancé and their dog. For fun she likes to read, do jigsaw puzzles, meditate and collecting old books from estate sales. [10:37] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Sasha said she started drinking around the age of 18. It wasn’t anything that was intense, but she knew from the first drink it would make her be “her true self.” She got a DUI at the 20. Around 21 was when she started drinking alone. When she was 23/24 she was crying and falling apart every time she drank. Her thoughts were preoccupied with drinking all the time. [13:48] Did the DUI make you question your drinking, or did you think that this was just something young people did? Sasha said it was both. She knew she drank in a way that wasn’t normal but felt because she was so young it was also ok. Looking back she knew it should have been a big warning sign. [15:36] Did you have any rock bottom moments? Sasha said rock bottom was when she was drinking alone and miserable. She had the realization she was miserable but didn’t know how to get out of it. [16:13] How did you get yourself out of the cycle? Sasha said she was listening to the RE podcast and reading Eckart Tolle and doing the Sam Harris ‘Wake Up’ course and this gave her the realization she had a drinking problem. Her end goal when drinking was always to be drunk, so the solution was to have none. [18:09] Was the podcast your first exposure to other stories of people’s drinking? Sasha said after her DUI there was court mandated AA meetings and that was her first exposure. She loved hearing what people were going through because she could identify with them. [21:20] What Tolle
Mon, January 18, 2021
RE 309: Curious VS Douchey
Stephen took his last drink on January 24th, 2020. This is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You “The pleasures of connecting with people are much greater than the pleasures of judging people.”- Johann Hari If we show up genuinely, we can connect with someone. If we are pretending to listen, we will not connect. Only with actual connection can we truly see each other. In a little departure from talking about quitting drinking Odette is asking us to explore being a better listener. What would that mean? What would that look like? Listening to each other has the power to heal, however it’s also very hard to do. Can we be more curious and see how this can impact relationships? [6:01] Odette introduces Stephen. Stephen is 33 years old and lives in Austin, TX. He enjoys exercise, teaching tennis and using his Peloton. He’s planning to return to school in the near future. [7:30] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Stephen said he took his first drink at the age of 15. He was curious about it and remembers finding something that made him feel relaxed. Being so focused on tennis, alcohol was mostly a secondary thing. In 2008 he joined the military to be an Airborne Ranger, which is also where he noticed his drinking changed. He left the military in 2015 and the drinking followed him. With nothing to wake up for at 5am anymore, he was able to drink differently. After a few years he walked into an AA meeting and went all in for 7 months’ time. He began drinking again for 5 months which led him to January 2020. [14:59] Tell me more about your being in the military and the binge drinking. Did you question your relationship with alcohol? Stephen said he only questioned his drinking in the midst of a bad hangover. He was surrounded by so many others that drank the same way, so it was very normalized. Alcohol was a temporarily release from the stressors. [19:07] Have you shifted your thinking from that of learning to endure to finding joy? Stephen said he is still working on this. Coming from his sports and military background he was taught to do whatever it takes to get through something. He’s learned that only works in the short term, but the emotional impact last longer. In recovery Stephen has taught himself that it’s ok when things are easy and to go with the flow. He had to allow himself to surrender to the fact that he cannot live with alcohol in his life at all. [22:45] What has been different this time? Stephen said this time he had to adjust his all-in mentality. He’s more tied into recovery communities with actual people and listening to their struggles and stories. He gave up the
Mon, January 11, 2021
RE 308: Recovery is Awkward
Niel took his last drink on January 9th, 2020. This is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You A few weeks ago, Odette heard a phrase that she hadn’t heard before and it struck a chord with her. It was different from the usual catch phrases that people use. “Awkwardness is an indicator of learning” Do we talk enough about the uncomfortable moments while on this journey? Are we allowing those moments to happen and normalizing them? When the decision to quit drinking is made, awkward moments arise, because we are feeling everything now. When we feel awkward, we feel vulnerable and feeling vulnerable makes most people want to run and hide. Odette phrases this into if/then questions to find a new path. Choosing yourself and living AF is often awkward and that’s ok! Let it feel weird until it doesn’t anymore. [6:59] Odette introduces Niel. Niel is 56 and lives in rural North Eastern California. He is a forester. He is married and has two children. For fun he likes to be outdoors. He misses swimming. He plays and builds guitars, any type of woodworking. Biking and hiking he also enjoys. [10:08] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Niel said he grew up in family where drinking was part of the culture. He started drinking irresponsibly / binge way in high school. He joined a fraternity in college and drank there as well. After he passed the bar exam in 2004 his drinking began to be problematic. In 2016 he stopped for a year, but then began drinking again in 2017. [12:27] Tell me more about your year in 2016. Niel said he talked to friends who were AF before this. He began exploring the idea that he might have a problem. Although he went back to drinking in 2017, he needed to experiment and decide is maybe this time it would be different. [15:00] Given your level of drinking, how was your day to day? Niel said he characterized himself as high functioning. However, he did have the repercussions of drinking that much. He found himself waking up feeling “thick” and he was irritable, unable to sleep, his weight was up, his heart was always racing, there were all kinds of manifestations. [16:39] How were your relationships at home? Niel said he was more on the irritable side. Emotionally until you pause and look in the mirror you don’t realize how bad you can be. Your actions are all reflections of your wellness. [20:08] What’s one of your worst drinking memories? Niel said there’s a highlight tape of horrors in his head. His worst memories are those about missing out on memorable moments in his life. Raising his kids, being around them f
Mon, January 04, 2021
RE 307: 2021-The Year We Say F--- You Booze
Chris took his last drink about 6 years ago. This is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You A few weeks ago, Elle published an article titled “ The Year of Drinking Dangerously ” which explored how alcohol in 2020 was front and center. Alcohol effects everything in our society and it’s time we got serious and brought these issues to light. Alcohol is a drug that has been glamorized. 2020 taught Odette that she has grit, that she can speak up about things that matter to her, that she doesn’t have to be a people pleaser, to name a few. She is pledging to make 2021 the year where Recovery Elevator changes even more lives through unmasking alcohol. As more and more people are questioning their relationship with alcohol… LETS KEEP GOING. [7:10] Odette introduces Chris. Chris is 33 years old, originally from New Jersey and right now lives in Savannah, GA. His career began in finance, as he quit drinking, he transitioned to being a personal trainer. He also began a blog, writing the articles he wished he could have read when questioning his own drinking. This became his website and he now is a alcohol recovery coach and has a podcast related to sobriety. He likes to be physically active. Chris also has two dogs he rescued in 2020. [16:57] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Chris started drinking in high school but wasn’t really a partier. He was mostly into swimming and studying. However, when he did go out, he realized he could out drink all his friends. As he moved into an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, he felt like he was living a double life. Alcohol was the opposite of everything he stood for. Looking back he can see that he would have withdrawal symptoms at the age of 20 when he didn’t drink. When he left college and began working, the drinking was now just martinis and more expensive. When he did finally quit, he had to go to detox. Through his research he learned that he had been out of balance with his nutrients which alcohol only exacerbated. [25:21] How aware were you that alcohol was the problem? Chris said he was in deep denial, with outbursts of honesty. A story he tells is standing outside a liquor store one morning waiting for it to open while drinking from a bottle of water he had filled with vodka. He thought to himself “this isn’t normal.” Chris felt he was special because of that he needed to drink to deal with people and jobs. Alcohol to him was a performance enhancing drug. [30:47] Tell me about those first couple months. Chris said once
Mon, December 28, 2020
RE 306: Who are you Becoming?
Robyn took her last drink on June 30, 2020. With 63 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course . We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We’ll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We’ve found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link . Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You The last Monday of the year! “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals” – Zig Ziglar This journey isn’t about arriving, it’s about becoming. How much we are willing to put in is what we should celebrate. Your hard work and new habits are what is to be celebrated. No one can take that away from you. What have you noticed about your journey this year? Who did you become this year? [6:35] Odette introduces Robyn. Robyn is from Columbia, South Carolina. She lives with her partner and he has two kids they see often. She likes jigsaw puzzles, reading, journaling and meditating. Pre-covid she liked vacations to the mountains. [9:33] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Robyn said she started drinking around her senior year of high school. She was shy. When she moved to NC it was a fresh start and to fit in, she drank. It helped her open up and have fun. After some life trials and moving to Columbia she made friends with bartenders and it was still fun drinking. During a relationship with another alcoholic, she noticed her drinking really ramped up. There were lots of times she talked herself out of being an alcoholic. In 2011 Robyn got a DUI. She did quit for a little, but it didn’t stick. After her mother passed away was when Robyn actually noticed it was a problem. She dealt with so much during that time. Robyn’s getting to her last drink came in ebbs and flows over years. There was a definite mental decline that she noticed. [26:10] How was your emotional state during these times of drinking and then returning to drinking? Robyn said she stopped beating herself up. It took a while for that overall to stop, but the more she met people and gained community it’s been easier for her to be easier on herself. She’s learned there’s no point in beating yourself up, it won’t help. [31:06] What do you do when you get a craving? Robyn s
Mon, December 21, 2020
RE 305: Heal Your Mood
Sarah took her last drink on April 22, 2019. With over a year away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course . We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We’ll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We’ve found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link . Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You Odette recently received the book Homebody by Rupi Kaur. As Odette looks at her own sobriety as a return to self, this book is very fitting for where she is in her own journey right now. Here’s your permission slip this week: take care of yourself. This time of year can be overwhelming for many. When we are overwhelmed, we may also open the door to fear. Using our tools, we can make life manageable and hold space for everything we are feeling. list of things to heal your mood: cry it out. walk it. write it. scream it. dance it out of your body. If after all that you are still spiraling out of control ask yourself if sinking into the mud is worth it the answer is no the answer is breathe sip tea and feel your nervous system settle you are the hero of your life this feeling doesn’t have power over you the universe has prepared you to handle this no matter how dark it get the light is always on its way you are the light walk yourself back to where the love lives [6:42] Odette introduces Sarah. Sarah lives in Wisconsin with her husband and her son and their dog. She is 30 years old and works in marketing. For fun she likes running, reading and crafting. She loves live music as well. [8:52] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Sarah said she had her first drink around 14 or 15 years old. Form there she drank almost every weekend and became a party girl. The lifestyle continued into college. She transferred her sophomore year and focused on her health. When she turned 21 it ramped up again. Being in WI the drinking culture is strong. After college she kept partying on the weekend, but the culture of drinking kept her in it. At the age of 26 Sarah had a moment that changed it, she woke up feeling shame. In 201
Mon, December 14, 2020
RE 304: You’re Asking Yourself the Wrong Question.
Kyle took his last drink on May 31 2020. With 82 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course . We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We’ll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We’ve found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link . Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You Sometimes we get stuck. When Odette gets stuck, she repeats this simple phrase to herself. “Please help me see things differently.” Being shown the same scenario through a different lens helps to shift the perspective. Different questions help to see things in a new way and get unstuck. If you’re feeling stuck are you asking yourself the wrong questions? [7:44] Odette introduces Kyle. Kyle is 33 years old and from Michigan. He is married and has three young daughters. He works in the automotive industry as a program manager. For fun he’s been planning the future with his wife, he also likes gaming and running. [10:49] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Kyle said the first time he got drunk was when he was 14, but he didn’t notice a change in his drinking until he was in his 20s. He was taking on a lot at the time and failing a lot at things. He looked to beer to take the edge off which turned into drinking to black out every night. He tried quitting many times and this stretch is the longest he’s gone in 10 years. [13:37] When did you notice you were using alcohol to cope? Kyle said he realized this subconsciously early on but was trying to quit on willpower alone. He figured out the price for alcohol and the euphoria it brought was higher than he was willing to pay. Alcohol stopped being enjoyable at the end because he was just chasing something. [17:25] What happened when you returned from Japan and you realized you couldn’t shake it? Kyle said rock bottom wasn’t one individual thing. He realized he was letting his wife and kids down often. He would wake up ashamed. During a convers
Mon, December 07, 2020
RE 303: M is for Mindfulness
Dr. Jason Powers took his last drink in June 2003. With many days away from all substances, this is his story of living substance free. Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course . We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. We’re meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January… and hopefully more! We’ll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. We’ve found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link . Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You What do we do when we are waiting for an outcome or a result? Traditionally: we bolt, we remove ourselves from the moment. In sobriety we have to feel all our feelings. Feeling them is the proof that we are staying true to ourselves. And that in itself is bad ass. Keeping in mind we have to feel the feelings, but also process them, not allow ourselves to get stuck in them. On days like today, when most people feel depleted, we have to find ways to fill up our gas tank. [7:03] Odette introduces Dr. Jason. Jason is 50 years old and lives in Houston, Texas. He is a physician that focuses on addiction medicine as well as an author, an interventionist, the founder of Positive Recovery . He is married and has 3 children: 18, 15 & 11. For fun he exercises and plays the drums, [10:07] Can you give listeners some background on your story? Jason said his first drug was sugar. It was the summer before 9th grade when he first tried marijuana. While he would quit from time to time, he consumed it a lot. He drank in high school and college. Jason quit everything during medical school. He said he went out of control after his residency because no eyes were on him anymore. He had access to cough syrup with hydrocodone which had its own set of repercussions. He had an intervention and went to rehab. In rehab he had a moment of surrender to addiction. [16:30] What is your definition of Positive Recovery? Jason said while he did get sober through a 12-step program. However he woke up later to exploring beyond the 12-steps and a broader array of recovery methods. The science of happiness (Positive Psychology) was something that he learned about and jumped in. He began to apply these metho
Mon, November 30, 2020
RE 302: From FOMO to JOMO
Jamie took her last drink April 16, 2019. With 485 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You She is currently re-reading The Compound Effect . The general idea is that baby steps add up into large rewards. Change is hard. Gaining momentum on a decision is hard. This applies to our alcohol-free journey: turning down drinks, one at a time. Once we reframe the idea of this being a sacrifice and think of it as an opportunity instead, the trajectory changes. We must think of all the things we can add into our lives without alcohol. Odette makes a list of the things she has room for in her life now. Why don’t you make one too? [7:00] Odette introduces Jamie Jamie is 35 years old and lives on Long Island, NY. Her immediate family lives close and she lives with her 2 black cats. Jamie is a social worker. For fun she likes to run, go kayaking, reading, cooking and hanging out with friends. Being in nature is the best, it’s where she finds her higher power. [9:57] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Jamie said she started drinking at the end of high school. In college her drinking seemed normal. She found there were hills and valleys with her drinking. When Jamie lost her mother at the age of 22 she remembers she was in a club in Greece and she identifies the synergy with that happening. The last 3-4 years her drinking escalated. She was blacking out and making poor choices. Looking back she can see the pattern of co-dependency. [12:57] Did you notice after your mother passed that you used alcohol to deal with your grief? Jamie said at first, she was so busy taking care of her father and making sure he was ok that alcohol was a secondary thought. But once she had some time away and time with her own feelings, she could see she was using alcohol the same as her mother, to numb down any emotions. [18:05] Tell me about the first couple weeks of your journey? Jamie said this was really the first time she honestly tried to get stop drinking. She had been living on the river of denial before this. Growing up her family didn’t express feelings, they drank or got angry. So, the first few weeks were new. She started a 12-step program and therapy. Jamie only knew 2 sober people at the
Mon, November 23, 2020
RE 301: A Case of the Fuck Its
Alex took her last drink April 25, 2020. With exactly 109 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You The end of the year is the time when Odette sees a lot of “fuck-its”. Putting your goals on hold and coasting to the end of the year, to start fresh in the new year. 2020 particularly has been hard as so much was put on hold; we can now choose to make this year mean nothing or everything. Keep going, keep putting your good energy into the year. The rest of this year is a marathon, not a sprint to 2021. Hold onto your sobriety, visualize your path, see the people along the way cheering you on, see the finish line. You can do this. [7:30] Odette introduces Alex Alex is 28 years old. She is originally from Indianapolis, IN and just moved to Denver, CO. She loves hiking, mountain biking, being outside. She lives with a roommate and her dog. She’s the “designated ice cream friend” among her group of friends. [10:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Alex said she was never someone who drank daily, but she found herself often in drinking situations and she wasn’t able to moderate. She moved from Chicago back to Indianapolis and the drinking didn’t change like she hoped it would. Alex began to make rules around her drinking to try to moderate. Morning after morning of not remembering nights she began to explore and consider a life without alcohol. She wanted to remember everything. [14:04] What drew you to start listening to Recovery Elevator? Alex said when she was questioning her drinking, she felt she couldn’t tell anyone in her circle of friends but knew there had to be something out there in the podcast world. There was one in particular that spoke to her, she saw herself in the interviewee. Alex began to get angry at the alcohol. [17:42] What tools work for you? Alex said she walks every day, minimum 2 hours. That’s been therapeutic for her. It allows her to slow down and focus on the little things in life. When she feels a craving, she goes for a walk. [19:08] Do people around you know you’re sober? Alex said everybody knows now. It started as a whisper to some people and now it’s something that is just known. When 1000 Hours Dry was looking for a host, she signed right up, giving her an extra layer of accountability.
Mon, November 16, 2020
RE 300: Find Your Power Stance
Dusty took his last drink September 21, 2015. With exactly 5 years away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You…..by Paul Churchill How to get your 300 Power Stance: Grab a stick and stand in front of a mirror, put on some good music, bend the knees and ankles. Get low and grip the stick (or rake or broom). Become one with the stick. Look yourself in the eyes (in the mirror) and say, “I’m here, right now, what do you got?”, repeat, louder. Repeat and get lower. Find your stance. Focus on your connection to the earth. Pull up a painful moment from the past and change the script. Bring up the unfinish emotion and feel it. Remind yourself you are safe. [16:00] Paul introduces Dusty . Dusty is from Bozeman, MT. He’s a finance director for a local non-profit and just got engaged yesterday! For fun he likes to play rec sports. He goes hunting, camping, hiking and fishing in the beautiful weather he has in Bozeman. [20:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Dusty said the day before his last drink was spent watching sports and he blacked out around 9:30pm. The next day his friend was leaving for an around-the-world trip and he went to her leaving drinks. The bartender that night came up to him and explained that if they were working that night Dusty would have been kicked out for his behavior the night before. Another friend of his, he had kicked in the backside and when he saw her, he saw fear in her eyes when she looked at him. He paid his tab and left the bar. Never touched alcohol again. His losing control was a big motivator for him to stay sober. [25:34] When did you find community? Dusty said he’s been very lucky to have known Paul Churchill for a while before he quit. Paul was the first person he told he quit drinking and knew that community would be there for him. At the time Recovery Elevator was just getting started and Dusty participated. He was surprised how easy it was for him to share his story. [30:11] How have the years changed for you? Dusty said the 1st year was exactly that, just getting through the 1st year without a drink. In year 2 the real healing began. In 2019 was when he realized alcohol was the symptom, not the problem. He grew up with a verbally abusive father and being scared as a child, his option was to freeze and stay quiet. Coming into year 5 he’s b
Mon, November 09, 2020
RE 299: D is for Dip Days
Desi took her last drink July 21, 2018. With just over 2 years away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). If you haven't checked out the RE merchandise...what are you waiting for?? You can see what we have available here ! Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding your Better You….. Hard days happen for everyone and don’t believe that highlight reel you see on Instagram! Odette calls these “dip days”. It’s ok to not thrive every single day, it’s ok to let feelings pass, it’s ok to be honest and you are not alone. 2020 is here to remind us we are stronger than we think and also what grief feels like. Odette wants to share her tools for what helps her during these dip days. Eat Drink lots of water Meditate Laugh Remind yourself daily that you are not your productivity levels. Take your medications (if you are on any!) [7:34] Odette introduces Desi. Desi is 30 years old and lives in Michigan. She is finished up her Master’s in social work at University of Michigan (go blue!). In her spare time, she coaches high school lacrosse which is a huge passion of hers. [12:38] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Desi said her journey started at the age of 7 with an eating disorder after being sexually abused. At the age of 14 a cousin passed away and that was a big turning point for her. Her family didn’t talk about emotions. And around this time, she started drinking as well. Her first drink wasn’t normal, and it flipped a switch: she wanted more. In college she made friends with a group of people who “didn’t make wise decisions” so neither did she. Life was very hard for Desi during this. In college she met another woman, Vera, who became her sister and she credits Vera with saving her life. In 2009 she began to have chest pains, which was always diagnosed as “anxiety”, but Desi knew it wasn’t. In 2012 her sister Lauren got her into a treatment center for her eating disorder. In her second time in ED rehab she tried to get sober. However, Desi considered herself a dry drunk. November 2014 she began drinking again. [34:04] When you came out of treatment were you frustrated that you also had to remove alcohol? Desi said she didn’t even think she had a problem with alc
Mon, November 02, 2020
RE 298: Be Who You Are
Karla took her last drink December 31, 2018. With 583 away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start November 11th, 2020. It’s FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding your Better You….. Melanie Beattie says “What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of adaptation? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves? Would people still like us? Would they go away? Would they become angry? There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. To continue growing, and living with ourselves, we realize we must liberate ourselves” It’s very vulnerable to show up as our authentic selves. The more we pursue a life away from alcohol the more we walk to liberate ourselves. The humble confidence that shows up allows us to show up authentically. Remember, there’s only one you. [7:10] Odette introduces Karla. Karla is 33, grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles and has lived in San Francisco for the past 7 years. She is an executive assistant for a tech company in the Bay area. She lives with her partner (fiancé!) and her puppy. For fun she’s been working on some passion projects, SoberIRL is one of those! [10:29] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Karla said she started drinking when she was 19. She was studying abroad and hadn’t yet made friends. Drinking was an easy way to make friends. She mimicked their style of drinking. Karla called herself a “weekend warrior” in her style of drinking. It didn’t occur to her until after she stopped drinking that her drinking was beyond what someone for her stature should. By the time she was 21 she knew she had a problem. Between brown outs and black outs she was piecing together the nights out with her friends. The juxtaposition between Karla the party girl and Karla the high achiever was a push and pull she felt deeply, but she didn’t know how to stop drinking. [18:07] Where you stuck in this cycle for a long time? Karla said she began seeing an alcohol counselor around the age of 25. The recommendation was to stop drinking, which she wasn’t r
Mon, October 26, 2020
RE 297: We Can Be Brave
Megan took her last drink April 20, 2020. With 108 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start November 11th, 2020. It’s FREE for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Armchair Expert: Day 7 Odette discusses Dax Shepard and the recent restarting of his sobriety clock. She appreciates how he is always seeking a life build in honesty and finding moment of gratefulness. What connects all of us is a feeling. What connects us all is finding our way through this book of recovery. Different chapters and experiences but all rooted in the same goal. We are not alone. Keep protecting your energy. [10:26] Odette introduces Megan. Megan lives in Montreal, Canada and is 33 years old. She lives with her partner Tim. She is a cook at a vegan restaurant. For fun she paints and draws and loves animal portraits. [17:29] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Megan said she drank a few times drinking growing up. Her parents both drank in the home and it was very normal. She got drunk for the first time when she was 17 or 18. It allowed her to breakout of her shell and be social. Moving to Montreal it became even more “normal”. It is very much a part of the culture. It changed from being out and drinking, to drinking at home, to drinking at home alone. She began combining anxiety medication with alcohol and would black out. Megan questioned her drinking in her mid 20s due to so many different events. In March of 2020 she had all the alcohol that was meant for her wedding and in 30 days’ time drank all it. It was meant to be for 80 people. [28:43] What happened in April of this year that made you stop drinking? Megan said it was because she ran out of alcohol. She paused and realized she had drank about $800 worth of alcohol. Megan found herself filled with shame and she realized that the way she drank it would never be enough until she was dead. [34:08] Tell me about the first few weeks after you stopped. Megan said it’s a little hard to remember the time right after she quit. She remembers being exuberant in finding others and creating connections. Her sleep was a little off but she was also riding the pink cloud. As time went on, she wanted to get off anti-depressants. Now she’s starting to find an equilibrium. She can finally think properly. [39:33] Tell me more about your new job and being sober. Megan said she mentio
Mon, October 19, 2020
RE 296: Swapped the Booze for your Smartphone?
DeeDee took her last drink May 5, 2020. With 91 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). This weekend is Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is FREE for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. After watching the Social Dilemma on Netflix Odette has some thoughts about social media and its place in our lives. She wants us to continue to protect our energy and set boundaries. Talk about it. Uninstall apps, unfollow people, unsubscribe from emails. Turn off notifications. Look for chrome extensions that removed clickbait. Fact check yourself. Delay giving devices to children. Try to have devices out of your bedroom. [11:37] Odette introduces DeeDee. DeeDee lives in Santa Barbara, California and is 29 years old. She lives with her finance and their 2 dogs. For work, DeeDee is the Director of Development for a non-profit. For fun she’s trying to figure that out still, but recently she’s begun crafting again and making candles. [15:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? DeeDee grew up being aware of alcohol because alcoholism runs in her family. Her father got sober 14 years ago. She didn’t drink a lot in high school. When she turned 21, she drank to fit in, but even then, didn’t really like alcohol. In the beginning of 2013, she noticed that she drew a correlation between being loved and being intoxicated. Her partner at the time only expressed love when he was drunk. In 2017 DeeDee realized she was drinking alone. In 2018/2019 she dabbled in sobriety for short periods of time. She got engaged in late 2019 and they used that excuse for more drinking to “celebrate”. [22:11] Did you ever connect the dots of alcohol being a problem in your family and your own drinking? DeeDee said she was in denial for a lot of it. She didn’t know a lot of women who had problems with alcohol, so she rationalized that it was only the men in her family who had a problem. [23:38] Did you and your finance decide together to quit drinking? DeeDee said they came to the conclusion of quitting drin
Mon, October 12, 2020
RE 295: Perfectionism Sucks
Brandon took his last drink October 28, 2018. With 645 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Now more than ever we need to stay rooted in kindness and live with the belief that people are just doing the best they can. In sobriety Odette has found she can give more grace to others because she is giving herself more grace and compassion. Looking at perfectionism, it doesn’t actually yield perfect results. It instead creates feelings of guilt, shame, stress, addiction, loneliness and isolation. Unsubscribe from perfectionism and just be yourself. Take care of yourself and everything else will take care of itself. And that’s the real gift. [7:08] Odette introduces Brandon. Brandon lives in Orlando, Florida with his wife and son. He’s a social media manager. For fun he likes to go on adventures with his son, he plays music and enjoys being creative. [10:42] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Brandon said he started drinking at the age of 21, he wasn’t interested in drinking while growing up. He was focused on sports and playing in bands. His first couple years of drinking he didn’t suffer the usual repercussions. At about 3 years in he began to experience hangovers. College drinking helped him deal with his anxiety. Brandon noticed the years after college he was using alcohol as a crutch. He found himself turning to alcohol for to handle anything that life threw at him. He was trying to show a front of perfectionism while internally struggling so much. [19:24] Did your wife every approach you about your drinking? Brandon said his wife would question sometimes the beer(s) he would have with dinner. He could tell she knew something was wrong. His rock bottom was a Halloween party in 2018 where he drank too much and they had a fight. She was 7 months pregnant and expressed concern about having to do the next stage of life alone. That was enough for him. [29:11] Talk to me more about the time right after you stopped drinking. Brandon said he was prepared for it to be hell but didn’t consider all the other things that go into it. He was open with his wife and friends. He turned to fitness to keep his mind moving. He took things hour by hour and focused just on the moment he was in. Brandon discovered a confidence in himself he didn’t know was there. [35:18] Do you still get cravings? Brandon said no, but there are times where it sounds good
Mon, October 05, 2020
RE 294: What has Recovery Made Possible for You?
Erin took her last drink May 31, 2019. With 488 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Most long-term decisions have to be rooted in a place of love and not of fear. This applies to recovery and leads to the question, “What has recovery made possible for you?” This question helps to build the bridge from fear to love. Hearing stories of hope from others send out waves of survival. As you share your story, you don’t know who’s listening and how that might change the trajectory of their life. Odette chooses to live in the solution and show others, specifically her family, what’s possible. [6:23] Odette introduces Erin. Erin and her family split time between New Hampshire and Sedona, AZ. She is married with 2 children, ages 1 & 3, she is a stay at home mom. For fun she does yoga, plays with her children, exercises and is getting to know her body. [9:35] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Erin said she first took a drink when she was 14. While that drink wasn’t a problem, she began to experiment. The family setting was one where there was drinking and so it was part of what she knew growing up. Her parents separated when she was 17 and she rebelled from there. At 18, she went to the University of New Hampshire, which is a large party school. Drinking was part of the culture and it was just what everyone was doing. Erin can look back now and see how toxic it was, especially for her. [12:03] Can you expand on your college years? Her sophomore year, she tried sobriety. She took some time off college and did a “major health cleanse”. However, when she returned, the habits also returned. She convinced herself she could moderate. [13:14] Did you transition after college into a lifestyle that allowed you to maintain a frequency of binge drinking? Erin said she has lived all over the place and those geographic moves are part of her story with alcohol. With periods of binge drinking and sadness coupled with periods of living with a healthy focus. Looking back, she can see she was running from her feelings and not being able to be with herself. [15:33] What was your style of drinking and did anyone ever approach you about it while you were drinking? Erin said she did surround herself with heavy drinkers so she could ignore the reality, there were also consequences to her drinking. She married her first husband in 2010 and they were divorced in
Mon, September 28, 2020
RE 293: Does it Bring you Peace?
Rob took his last drink June 5, 2019. With over one year away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. When we say no to alcohol, we are saying yes to a better life. Once the alcohol is left behind some people pick back up old hobbies, others go off to do things they thought they would never do. Give yourself some grace when you quit, and you are trying to figure out what you like to do now. Go for it, the possibilities are endless. Is how we are choosing to spend our time after quitting drinking bringing us peace? It becomes our responsibility to protect our peace and also seek peace. [6:22] Odette introduces Rob. Rob is 55 and lives in Littleton, CO. He has been married to his wife for 30 years, they have 2 grown boys. Rob likes adventure sports, specifically motorbike adventuring. He also enjoys hiking, being outdoors. He very much loves what Colorado has to offer. [9:34] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Rob said he moved from rural Indiana in 1978 to Denver, CO and that’s when alcohol became a big part of his life. Stemming from his desire to fit into a new school as a kid, he began drinking. He also took a job at a warehouse where the older employees found it funny to corrupt the 15 year old preachers kid. His parents found out and they put a stop to it. He began leading a dual life, the adrenaline seeker mountain climber motorcycle rider vs going to church 5 times a week. On November 11, 2012 his close friend Ted passes away from cancer. Rob didn’t know how to handle those feelings and after this he began drinking at home. By the end he was blacking out 3-5 nights a week. [17:02] Did you ever think to yourself “I might have a drinking problem?” Rob said he didn’t even have that thought. The mentality around the group he was in was “work hard, play hard”. [17:32] After Ted passed, were you conscious of the fact that you were using alcohol to hide the pain? Rob said that never occurred to him until he was in recovery. [19:12] Tell me about after your wife left? Rob said he gained enough clarity that night to realize the choice was alcohol or his marriage. He chose to fight for his marriage and that night was his last drink. That next morning on his drive to work, rather than listening to his usual drive music, he listened to a podcast about recovery. That night he found an AA meeting as well. [25:15] Tell me about the resentment you had and when you felt the shift. Rob said it was a progression for him. He didn’t really find a home until he found Café RE in September 2019. He felt the connections become real. [28:26] Tell me about
Mon, September 21, 2020
RE 292: Navigating the Storm
Will took his last drink April 10, 2018. With just over 2 years away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Navigating through tough times. Removing alcohol allows you to actually do something about a problem, however sometimes without alcohol in front of it, a problem can present more clearly. It’s hard to do the hard thing and easy to pretend our problems aren’t really there. We have a choice to accept the problem (the storm) as it presents itself and its aftereffects as part of a life without alcohol. [7:01] Odette introduces Will. Will is 43 and lives in Queens, NY. He’s an IT consultant and married with a dog. For fun he loves to be outdoors, surfing, live music, cooking, biking, running and traveling. [9:34] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Will said he was 12 when he has his first drink on vacation, but he considers his real entrance to alcohol was around the age of 15. It dissolved the anxiety he felt in social situations. In college he went full force into drinking and it quickly became a daily habit. He sought out others who drank like he did. [12:57] Were you a high performer in school? Will said alcohol did impact his school work. He had no direction for what he wanted to do the rest of his life. He found himself drinking in exchange for doing things he loved. [14:22] What happened after college? Will said followed a band he loved around the country and fully fell into the drinking and partying culture. [16:18] Did you ever question your drinking? Will said no, because he had surrounded himself with a culture of drinking and partying. So, he was around it and it was normalized within his circle. [18:23] Walk me through your next life chapter? Will said he moved to Washington state with his now wife and went back to school. There was less drinking, and he was able to focus on his schoolwork and life. He found some balance mixed in with the pockets of crazy times. Once he finished school he moved back to New York and began work, but also was staying out late drinking. He noticed the change in his physical alcohol dependance at this moment. [22:34] Did you introduce moderation rules? Will said he attempted moderation at home and it simply evaporated over time. [23:21] Did you start having conversations with your wife about this? Will said him and his wife were both “in it” at the time. (She is also now in recovery.) There was enabling happening and it was difficult to navigate. [24:05] Did you have a rock bottom? Will said he sought out a doctor to prescribe him someth
Mon, September 14, 2020
RE 291: Do Better
Kevin took his last drink April 11, 2020. With just over 3 months away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. Receiving feedback and how to do better. After a negative comment / feedback from a listener, Odette took the comments and the feedback and is seeing this as an opportunity to do better. It seems these days that “do better” is being used more and explored. This was the universe reminding her that she is worthy, the listener is worthy, and everyone is worthy. She has gratitude and love for the listener because they allowed to her see something from a different perspective. If you have feedback, please send an email to Odette . [7:23] Odette introduces Kevin. Kevin is 59 and originally from Philadelphia, he has lives in Florida for the past 20 years. He’s a printer and works for the schoolboard. He’s married and loves cooking, traveling and doing charcoal portraits. [9:13] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Kevin said that when he was 7, he became the drink maker at his grandparents’ card games. He would have some whiskey and ginger ale himself. In 4th grade he was bullied, so he would go home at lunch to eat but also to do a few shots of liquor so he could deal with that. In high school he fell in with a crowd that drank and also sold drugs. He continued in that pattern until he met his now wife at the age of 33. He quit the drugs, but his drinking continued to escalate. In 2017 he spent 3 days in a psych ward, leaving there he sent to AA and a counselor, but it never really took, and he relapsed. [12:26] Did anybody notice that all this was happening when you were so young? Kevin said that he was a latch key kid, so his use of alcohol wasn’t noticed. And when he was in high school, he was always out of the house and with friends, so again, it wasn’t noticed. However, he says that while in high school he knew he had a bad alcohol problem on his hands. [14:22] Did you ever reach out to somebody in those early days or was alcohol normalized in your family? Kevin said his grandfather owned a bar and his parents had an active social life and he was a bartender at different points, so alcohol was always a part of his life. [15:03] How did alcohol cause conflict in your marriage(s)? Kevin said in his first marriage they were both very immature and it wasn’t ever going to last. With his second wife, he emulated her and wanted her to be proud of him. It never worked out however and he felt he was always disappointing her. [16:40] What happened that made you want to reach out and get help? Kevin said there were a lot of moments. Between injuries, unhea
Mon, September 07, 2020
RE 290: Let's Not Label This a Problem
Taylor took his last drink June 7, 2019. With just over 13 months away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You….. WAIT WAIT! It’s Paul’s 6 year Sober-versary! So instead we bring you Paul’s 6 big insights since his handing off the podcast to Odette. People are struggling right now due to Covid, but let’s not label this as a problem. Let’s go within and have some spiritual growth. Turn off the news. The ego always sets its own trap. Pets are the reason the human race hasn’t imploded yet. He has gained empathy. It’s never too late to accomplish a goal. Bonus insight: Paul’s parents are RAD! [19:08] Paul introduces Taylor. Taylor is 30 years old and lives in Thornton, Colorado with his two dogs, Harley and Rooster. While he’s lived in many places over the years, he grew up in Sacramento, California and now is in Colorado. He loves walking his dogs, record and write music, rock climbing, mountain biking, photography, hiking, skiing, snowboarding, wakeboarding, video editing and D&D. He likes to try all the hobbies now. [23:54] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Taylor said he started exploring alcohol around age 14. He wanted to see what alcohol was all about. He didn’t really touch alcohol again until he was about 16, mostly in High School he smoked weed. However, alcohol did allow him to fit in. His father and stepmother caught him smoking weed in college and made the decision to send him to live with his mother. This started his “victims’ story” because he wasn’t allowed to smoke weed anymore, so he was “forced to drink alcohol”. He saw his career grow however by quitting smoking weed, but there was alcohol ever present. At 26 he found himself trying to moderate alcohol. Just before he deployed to Afghanistan, he thought to stop drinking a few days before, and he found himself in withdrawals. After not drinking while overseas, he ordered a drink on the plane home. Being home he was again trying to moderate. [33:53] Tell me about going back to drinking after returning from Afghanistan? Taylor said that he understood that he had seen the “other side of life” and you can never really go back. Alcohol just isn’t the same and he knew he was doomed. After his girlfriend left, was his rock bottom moment. [42:19] Walk me through those first 30 days? Taylor said he fully dove into recovery: “I sober like I drank”. When his father left, he kept going to therapy and AA. His pink cloud lasted 3 months and the energies to stay sober were stronger than his desire to drink. He found a lot of humility and got a sponsor and started working the steps. [47:09] Ca
Mon, August 31, 2020
RE 289: Co-occurring Issues
Early took their last drink November 16, 2019. With almost 8 months (at the time of recording) this is their story of living alcohol free (AF). Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You. Co-occurring disorders or dual diagnosis describes a person who has more than one medical issue either with two diseases simultaneously or one disease successively after the other. These may be mental or physical. Odette reminds us that we are not alone. [5:23] Odette introduces Early. Early is 32 years old and living off the grid on the Ozark Plateau. They have 3 dogs who are their very best friends. For work they go back and forth between migrant farm work and restaurant service industry. For fun they like to learn about the area surrounding them, the plants and animals. Also chopping wood and the other living in the woods chores. Living off the grid means that Early is not connected to the electrical power grid & any city water or sewage. They have solar power and collect rain water or spring water. They have a composting outhouse. Early says they are connected to the earth in a way that feels more ethical to them. [8:33] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking? Early said that their whole life has been characterized by very intense addiction. The first drink they had was a stolen Miller High Life at the age of 10. The first blackout came at 14, drinking in the mornings and vomiting in their sleep came at 16. They were drawn to alcohol due to being socially awkward and having few friends. Being a deviant led them into a world of acceptance. As an adult, along with therapy and their diagnosis as being on the spectrum, these factors make sense now. By 18 Early was drinking daily and that’s the first time they wanted to stop drinking. Willpower didn’t work and AA wasn’t the avenue they wanted to take. Between the ages of 18 and 31 they tried many times to quit. [11:44] When did you receive your diagnosis? Early said at 29 there was an incident in which they sexually assaulted their best friend. It never would have happened if they had not been under the influence of alcohol. After that they checked themself into a mental hospital for help. There they were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Early’s therapist post that also diagnosed them with Autisms Spectrum disorder and PTSD from childhood sexual abuse. [13:43] What went through your mind after all these diagnoses? Early said leaving the mental hospital they were detoxed from alcohol and also on new anti-psychotic medicine for brand new diagnoses. They weren’t given any tools on how to handle not drinking and their only coping ability from the past 20 years, so to cope, they drank. [16:20] What happened after you left the hospital? Early said that they knew they needed to remove alc
Mon, August 24, 2020
RE 288: AF Drink Options With Gruvi
Anika is the founder of Grüvi and a member of the sober curious community. This is her story of being an entrepreneur and helping to provide NA beverages to those who want them. Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You. You are in charge of setting and honoring your own boundaries. Everyone has different triggers, for example if NA beers and beverages are triggering to you, then you don’t have to explore that avenue. You know how to best protect your journey. Stay open and stay curious and protect your energy. [4:53] Odette introduces Anika. Anika is sober curious so she’s not very strict on keeping track of dates. But her last drink was right around the beginning of Covid. She is 24 years old and lives in Canada. She enjoys being outdoors, yoga, hiking and traveling. [6:56] Walk me through your sober curious journey. Anika said her sober curious nature came out during her last year at University. She was a social drinker, but in her last year she found herself saying “I don’t want to have to go out with friends tonight, because then I will have to drink and then I will be hung over.” She experienced all the benefits of a life away from alcohol: better sleep, having more clarity and being more productive. [9:38] Did something spark your thought process to become aware of a life away from alcohol at such a young age? Anika said at first, she was like everyone else with regards to drinking and felt it was a stage in life. But when she created the Grüvi brand was when she really started to see how life can continue on without alcohol and with an alternate beverage. She was able to have a social life without having to have the social lubricant. [11:15] How did Grüvi start? Grüvi launched a year ago in Denver and it’s a family business. They have been a health focused family, led by their father. Finding that the NA category was lacking in options pushed them to create Grüvi. [12:34] Where did the name come from? Anika said Grüvi is taking the word “groovy” and making it fun and new. You can be fun and silly and youthful even without alcohol. [14:59] Tell me about the specifics of Grüvi? Currently, there are 4 craft beers and 1 prosecco. The beers are brewed through a process of arrested fermentation, which stops the brewing before any alcohol is introduced. However, because this does go through a fermentation process, there are trace amounts of alcohol (similar to kombuca). The prosecco is 0.0% ABV. They are expanding too! Anika says that hopefully they will be offering a bubbly Rose by the end of summer 2020. [20:58] Are most people open to the dialogue (about this NA movement)? Anika said that after living in Denver for over a year after Univ
Mon, August 17, 2020
RE 287: Should We Be Drinking Less?
Alan took his last drink December 23, 2019. With almost 6 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Announcing Recovery Elevator’s first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for Café RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee. Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You. The New York Times article “ Should We Be Drinking Less ?” is from July 10th, 2020. It’s the stark contrast to articles which tout having 1-2 glasses of wine has healthy benefits or how rose will help you through motherhood. The idea that moderate drinking is acceptable actually keeps people drinking because it’s seen as ok in the eyes of society. There is a shift that is happening and people are questioning the narrative of what’s acceptable when drinking. [7:47] Odette introduces Alan. Alan lives outside Atlanta and is 49 years old. His last drink was the day before Christmas Eve 2019. He drank everything and was blackout drunk that night. His 15 year old daughter had been at a friend’s house and came home to find her father passed out in a chair with a spilled glass of wine. The next morning knowing his daughter had seen that changed the course of his life. He didn’t want to live that way any longer. Alan’s daughter mentioned above is actually one of triplets. He has three 15 year old children and has been married to his wife for almost 18 years. He’s in software sales and is trying to figure out what he likes to do for fun now that he’s sober. He enjoys health and fitness and has a Peloton. [18:37] Walk me through your drinking career. Alan said that he began drinking in high school and it started out normal, transitioned into college and that drinking atmosphere. College for him was one big party. He continued the pace of college drinking afterwards. He worked for a year in Aspen and drank 7 days a week. He returned to Atlanta, while his drinking slowed, he was always concerned about where the next drink was coming from and this is when his drinking became abnormal. Alan believes he was covering up fear with his drinking. Fear of fitting in, fear of getting a good job, fear of making enough money, fear of meeting the right girl, fear of getting a big title. The fear was gone when he drank. [27:15] Tell me about joining Café RE and how was that first month? <p clas
Mon, August 10, 2020
Episode 286: It’s Never Too Late To Quit Drinking
Jim took his last drink April 7, 2020. With just over 70 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Today Odette opens talking about finding the better you and her own take away from Holly Whitaker’s Quit Like A Woman . She focuses on what Holly says about when a craving strikes. Learn to relax into the craving rather than distract. RASINS Recognize Allow Set aside the story Investigate what is happening in your body Name the sensations Surf Let’s set the scene: You have finished your 100th zoom call of the day and you are ready to relax for the night. You want to pour a glass of wine. Here is how to implement RASINS. Admit the craving, allow the craving to build, set aside the negative thoughts telling you that you suck. Maybe try a meditation practice. Focus on how your body is feeling. Is your heart racing, are your palms sweating? Ride the wave of emotion, this is manageable. [7:12] Odette introduces Jim. Jim is 71 years old and he lives on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. He is about to retire fully from his career in public education. He’s been married for 47 years and has 3 children and 4 grandkids. He enjoys hiking, reading, swimming and volunteering at church and in schools. He has recently picked up golf too! [11:33] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking? Jim said he began drinking in high school and also drank in college. He joined a fraternity and soon after stopped going to call and flunked out. His father told him he was not welcome at home, so Jim joined the Merchant Marines after that. He said that although drinking was prohibited on the boats, that was far from the reality. After a winter in the Merchant Marines he was drafted into the Vietnam War, however his college agreed to re-admit him. Once back in college he was right back where he started. He did meet his “beautiful bride” while in school and she got him going back to class and he did graduate. His chosen career was something that he felt was more important that his drinking. So, he didn’t drink before work, but after work, all bets were off. Once he began to approach retirement, he had more time on his hands and the habits of college drinking returned. [15:14] Do you remember your emotional state when your father told you that you weren’t allowed back home? Jim said at the time he was very resentful and thought his father was not loving and caring. He felt his father was putting his own reputation and career over Jim’s circumstances. Looking back on it, Jim can say he knows that his father made a great decision. [22:15] Did you notice your relationships changing/eroding? Jim said his own ability to be a pleasant person when he was drinking was almost non-existent. He had a lot of irrit
Mon, August 03, 2020
RE 285: Impermanence is triggering, but does it have to be?
John took his last drink on August 31, 2019. With about 10 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Today Odette opens quoting from Pema Chödrön’s “ When Things Fall Apart” . “Impermanence is the goodness of reality. Just as the four seasons are in continual flux, winter changing from spring to summer to autumn; just as day becomes night, light becoming dark becoming light again-- in the same way, everything is constantly evolving.” Everything that ends is also the beginning of something else. What happens when we see this chaos as harmony and change right now is the new normal. It takes time to get comfortable with change and this stage of life is a season. Let’s sit with it and see where we can go. [6:53] Odette introduces John. John is 38 years old and originally from Fayetteville, North Carolina. John is also married to Odette and they have 2 children together. They live in San Diego, CA. For fun John likes to surf, bike, run, or play golf… he just likes being active. [11:19] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking? John said growing up drinking was part of the culture of where he lived. He started drinking in high school on weekends and continued in college. His drinking changed when it became a post-work habit. He said he modeled his drinking after his parents: put your head down, do you work, have a drink after work. From the age of 25 - 38 he was drinking as a reward at the end of a day. However, he noticed that he was using alcohol to numb out other things in his life. [14:00] Was there a moment when you noticed that alcohol was no longer working? John said in his 30s was when he began to question if he had a problem with drinking. As his family grew, he saw a line in the sand. On one side of the line was keeping drinking and on the other side was his marriage and family. Odette and John discuss their marriage and how each of their paths to recovery has followed along both together and separately at different times. They discuss the work they have done on themselves and as a couple. [25:26] From an inside look what are some of the biggest differences? John said a lot of his initial quitting drinking was about trying to prove a point, prove to himself and others that he didn’t have a problem with alcohol. Within a month it changed and began to leave alcohol behind for himself. He noticed improvements in almost all aspects of his life. [28:51] Can you tell us about how fatherhood has been different? John said when he was drinking, he w
Mon, July 27, 2020
RE 284: B is for Boundaries
Andrew took his last drink June 02, 2020. With 9 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). Finding the better you with Odette. Today’s topic: Setting boundaries. According to https://positivepsychology.com/ Healthy boundaries are those set to make sure that you are mentally and emotionally stable. You can also think about it as our boundaries might be ridged, loose or completely non-existent. The lack of boundaries may indicate that we do not have a strong identity or that we are intermeshed with someone else or something else: insert alcohol. Odette lobbies for protecting your energy, which is a version of creating boundaries. Set and honor your boundaries. When you set new boundaries and start living them it might feel uncomfortable, and that’s normal. It gets easier and better when you stand up for yourself and share your boundaries with others. Check in with yourself often. [8:25] Odette introduces Andrew. Andrew is 37 years old and lives in Brisbane Australia. When Andrew and Odette first began talking about scheduling this interview, Andrew had more than 35 days AF. He did some field research and is now back with 9 days AF. He drives trucks for a living, is married and has 3 boys under the age of 7. For fun he likes to ride his trail bike. [14:19] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking? Andrew’s first drink was at age 13. Instantly he fell in love with alcohol. He liked the person he became when he drank. When he was 15 he worked in construction with older guys and that gave him access to alcohol. As an adult the drinking increased and increased, but he never thought it was a problem until his late 20s. Andrew has known over the past 10 years that he didn’t drink normally. He drank more than people and alcohol became an identity. His first son was born when he was 30 and he tried to grow up. Andrew noticed he couldn’t stop drinking. Andrew said his relationship changed from having fun as a couple to serious and his wife mentioning that it needs to be different. They couldn’t go to the shops without his kids mentioning “oh we need to go to the bottle shop for dad”. [21:34] Did you hit a bottom or what made you decide to pursue an AF life? Andrew said all the relationships in his life began to fail. He never blamed the alcohol but blamed the other person. A few years ago having a surgery that required him to stop drinking 2 weeks prior and his wife laughed at that suggestion. He wasn’t able to stop and drank up to surgery and that’s when he realized it was a problem. [22:40] Did you seek help when you decided to try and stop drinking? Andrew said he simply decided he wasn’t going to drink. He did reach out to a doctor who prescribed some pills that didn’t have any effect. His drinking
Mon, July 20, 2020
RE 283: What do you do with a Problem?
Heidi took her last drink on May 20, 2020. With 19 days (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens today welcoming normal drinkers. It has come to her attention that there are some listeners that are tuning in for educational purposes as a loved one has a problem with alcohol. Question for you normal drinkers: would you be interested in a Café RE group focused on you? Email Odette if you're interested. One of the most important books in Odette’s life is The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie . It was referred to her when her father first went into rehab. Each day is a new passage to read and often she is overcome with the meaning and finds herself wanting to share the meditation for the day with others. While she’s not going to read from this book today, Odette is sharing with you all…. Storytime with Odette! What Do You Do With a Problem? By Kobi Yamada [8:13] Odette introduces Heidi. Heidi is 28 years old and originally from San Diego, but she’s lived all over. Right now she’s in Orange County, CA with her new husband. She works in career services with a focus on health and behavioral sciences. She’s an adjunct teacher and a CrossFit coach and group fitness leader. Heidi loves the outdoors and seeing live music, plays, and time with family and friends. [14:05] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking? Heidi’s first time really drinking was around the age of 16 / her junior year of high school. At the same time, she was a good student and took her studying and athletics very seriously. She only drank on weekends. In college she continued to be a good student and athlete while drinking, so she never felt that what she was doing should be questioned. At the end of her college career, she mentioned to a coach that she felt she might have a drinking problem. This coach dismissed her concerns because she “doing fine.” [19:20] When you expressed concerns to your coach and he was dismissive, did you doubt him a little? Heidi said internally she knew that her drinking was a problem, but at the same time, he gave her a free pass to keep drinking. [17:16] Walk us through the last year or so of your drinking and what led up to your sober date? Heidi grew up with obsessive-compulsive tendencies, specifically manifesting in
Mon, July 13, 2020
RE 282: Is it Working?
Michael took his last drink on May 13, 2019. With just over a year sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens today asking the question: Is this working? There are obvious moments where it is easy to recognize that life without alcohol is working. When people say you look refreshed, you wake up not hungover and you start sleeping well. But what about the not so obvious moments? The moments that are hard, the moments you miss drinking? Yes, those are the moment when growth and change and abundance are there and about to bloom. Trust, be patient, and stay the course. [7:23] Odette introduces Michael. Michael lives in Springfield, Missouri, and works in construction. He is married with 2 children. For fun, he works, plays video games and spends as much time as possible with his family. [8:24] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking? Michael said he started drinking around the age of 14. He said it was something he was good at and within a year he was drinking a pint or more of liquor a day. He soon began drinking before school and after. In 2002 he joined the Marine Corps, which was his goal. In the military, he often couldn’t drink for stretches of time, so it became binge drinking episodes. But at the end of his 4 years in the Marine Corps, he realized he had a problem with drinking and asked for help. He was enrolled in a daily program through the military to learn about drinking. After getting out of the military he worked construction, but then in 2008 re-enlisted in the Army. The 6 years he was in the Army, the drinking continued at a bottle a day, every day. He considered himself a very high bottom drinker because he was so high functioning within life. [15:19] What was it that led you down the path to try going AF? Michael said that he tried to stop multiple times over the years. He began to realize he wasn’t living his life to his best potential. He always tried to be the person setting the example for others, yet his inability to stop drinking was weighing on him. He needed to show that he could stop drinking for good. The idea that he couldn’t quit was his bottom. [17:16] Walk us through what went through your mind on your day 1. Michael said he woke up and said to himself “I need to quit, again.” He searched for podcasts that day and found Recovery Elevator. Podcasts allowed him to saturate his entire day with recovery. He downloaded the Sober Grid app and started reading that and the resources offered. [21:13] How has your life without alcohol been different than what you originally thought? Michael said he had a lot of fear about what he would do and who he would be not drinking. Once he quit, he was no longer avoiding emotions and in a fog. He was freed to just live his life. Michael has learned it
Mon, July 06, 2020
RE 281: Rewriting Memos
Sara took her last drink on December 02, 2018. With 18 months sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens today talking about re-writing memos. Take a look at the memos you write to yourself every day. Those memos we repeat to ourselves as fact. There are thousands of stories we have written as memos in our lives. Odette encourages us to take out a sharpie and re-write the memo. Change your mind, change your opinion. [6:24] Odette introduces Sara. Sara lives just outside Minneapolis, MN. She is 37 years old, married, and has one daughter. They just adopted a puppy. She works in communications and for fun she likes to go for hikes and walks with friends, hang out with her daughter and eat her husband’s food (he’s a great cook!). [12:58] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking? Sara said she didn’t drink in High School. She went to a party school for college and started to binge drink on weekends. When she first started drinking, she liked the permission that alcohol gave her to be extroverted. Towards the end of her 20s the binge drinking tapered off, but that was when she began daily drinking, first a couple of glasses of wine on the weekend, soon became 7 days a week. While she quit when pregnant with her daughter, she did feel deprived. And once her daughter was born the daily drinking quickly resumed. The anxiety resumed in full force and because Sara didn’t feel like she had a problem with a capital P, this was all normal. December 2, 2018, Sara found a book by Annie Grace and went from never considering quitting, to leaving alcohol behind all in the same day. [20:16] How was it early in your journey? Sara said at first she cried once the decision was made. She allowed herself to grieve the loss while at the same time being excited. The first 1-3 days she practiced going into social situations, being right before the holidays she had lots of opportunities to practice. Sara always had a treat for herself to keep the feelings of deprivation at bay. [30:43] How was the dynamic with your husband? Did you burn the ships immediately? Sara said she told her husband right away. She thinks he didn’t believe her at first, she wouldn’t have believed herself at first either! However, he was supportive of her decision. Sara experienced some guilt when she stopped drinking because she felt like she was taking away something from him that was an activity they enjoyed together. They had to work to find new things to connect over. [35:04] What’s in your recovery toolbelt these days? Social connection is the #1 action item in her toolbelt. Sara said that she walks with her friends, she needs face to face meetups. Sobriety podcasts are 2nd. They keep her motivation up. And 3rd is “No treat is off-limits.” Sara knows that she
Mon, June 29, 2020
RE 280: Prepping for an Alcohol Free 4th of July
Hannah took her last drink on April 16, 2020. With 45 days sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). Paul has created a new meditation. It’s 20 minutes long and is specifically geared towards cravings. You can get it here for free. Odette opens talking about the upcoming long weekend, which is the 4th of July. She asks “how can we leverage the current state of the world / the current pandemic and our desire to not drink this upcoming holiday weekend?” A celebration that is centered around food and also drinking, what does this mean for our own choices. There is an assumed permission slip that allows you to start drinking at whatever time you want. Given the state of the world and smaller gatherings happening, it might prove to be easier to not drink. Here’s a list of how to not drink this weekend Bring your own drinks, make it special! Tell someone you don’t want to drink. It’s ok to ask for help Let yourself have fun. Have one goal for the day- Don’t drink. Leave if you’re uncomfortable. [9:00] Odette introduces Hannah. Hannah lives in Las Vegas. She is 30 years old. She has worked in the medical field in the past but will begin teaching soon. For fun recently she’s been doing puzzles. She enjoys hiking, being outdoors, and working out. [12:33] How have you been feeling in these early days? Hannah said she previously had some time away from alcohol under her belt, but had started drinking again. So, she was prepared for stopping again. This time it was emotional, but no physical withdrawal symptoms. She feels good and is looking forward to this path. [14:12] What happened that made you decide to drink again? Hannah said in January 2019 she tried to do dry January again, but only made it about 15 days. She restarted February 1st and this lasted for her until almost September. While she was for a time able to moderate her drinking, once quarantine began the drinking became a daily thing and she was feeling pretty awful, mentally, and physically. [16:02] What started you on this path to wanting to live AF? What’s your drinking background? Hannah said she took her first drink around 14 or 15. When she was 17, she lost her mother to addiction and alcohol became her outlet to escape. She had a year of partying harder than any teenager should have. Two weeks after she turned 18, she found out she was pregnant and sobered up, promising her child a better life. She did eventually return to alcohol. While she was succeeding on the outside, she was drinking a lot. Around 25 years old she was experiencing high anxiety and was noticing how alcohol wasn’t serving her. [20:38] Did you have a rock bottom moment or what pushed
Mon, June 22, 2020
RE 279: Permission Slips
Jamieson took his last drink on August 7, 2019. With almost 10 months sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens the podcast talking about “permission slips” and specifically giving yourself permission to feel certain things. She quotes Brene Brown, “For personal permission slips, you are in charge of your own behavior – so you're giving yourself permission to feel or act a certain way. It is setting an intention for how you want to behave in difficult situations.” Here are some permission slips Odette gave herself after her first week as the new voice of the podcast: to be scared, to make mistakes, to ask for help, to feel uncomfortable, to fail, to succeed, to try again, to love myself. Writing these out she gained courage, the courage to run towards what she wants. [5:23] Odette introduces Jamieson. Jamieson is 28 years old and lives in Kansas City, MO. He works in special education and is starting grad school in the fall. He is single. For fun, he enjoys making music, reading, playing video games, hiking, going camping, and traveling. [7:49] Can you give us a background on your drinking? Jamieson said he started drinking when he was around 13 or 14 years old. But at the time it was a shot glass worth of wine at dinner every night. The first time he was drunk was when he was 16 or 17. He never really felt like he ever had a normal relationship with alcohol, but problematic drinking began around the age of 21. In college he was always trying to be cool like everyone else, alcohol was an easy resource to make him feel cool and ease his social anxiety. [10:50] What happened after you noticed your drinking increasing? Jamieson said it became very consistent and an everyday thing. At the age of 22, he went without alcohol for one year. After a year of being a dry drunk, he decided he didn’t have a problem and returned to drinking. He continued drinking until his last drink in August 2019. [13:58] After your year sober, and return to drinking, did you know in the back of your mind that eventually, you would stop drinking? Jamieson said in the back of his mind, he always knew something wasn’t quite right about his drinking. The quiet voice in the back of his mind slowly crept into the forefront of his thoughts and he couldn’t ignore it any longer. [14:51] Was there an event that made you go sober again? Jamieson said it was a combination of things. Between multiple rock bottoms/events and seeing his younger brother struggle with alcohol as well, he realized he needed to cut alcohol out. [20:15] What was your plan on the day of your last drink? Jamieson said to himself “let’s just see how long I can go” and at about 2 weeks’ time, he was feeling pretty good and we
Mon, June 15, 2020
RE 278: Day One Emotions
Kris took his last drink on August 9, 2017. At just over 1000 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF). Odette opens the podcast talking about beginner emotions, also called day one emotions. “You can be brave and afraid at the same time.” Feeling scared and uncertain is natural and part of the process. Embrace those feelings and you can go far. [5:26] Odette introduces Kris. Kris is 38 years old, married with 2 children and a dog. They live in central North Dakota and he is a power plant operator. For fun he loves photography, videography, staying warm in the winter, and camping in the summer. ND summers are the best. [8:28] What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? As kids, Kris and his brother would always go for vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup, roasted salted peanuts, and Smarties as a topping. [10:00] Can you give us a background on your drinking? Kris said he started drinking in high school, he was shy and quiet in High School and this brought him out of his shell. He felt like he could be himself. He joined the Air Force out of high school and alcohol continued to help him forge bonds with others. While he was stationed in Korea, he says he began using alcohol for more than just fun and instead used it to cope with depression. They lived by “work hard, party hard” while stationed there. He felt lost when he came home and struggled with his identity. He says the last few years of his relationship with alcohol was really a disaster. He didn’t want to stop, he was hiding his drinking and his relationship with his wife was falling apart. [22:48] What happened after your wife told you that you had to stop drinking? Kris and his wife separated after that and he experienced an “Oh sh*t” moment. At the same time, he began having a willingness in his life to make and action change. He signed up for a treatment program. [25:34] How did you feel after you realized that you had to do this? When did the decision to get sober become yours? Kris said it was during treatment. Working with counselors he learned that he needed to take responsibility for everything. He also met with a pastor who encouraged him to start praying every day. He began asking God to help guide him. He learned the burden of his past doesn’t have to hold him back from his future. [30:50] Do you still have cravings? How different is from the beginning and how is it still similar? Kris said for the most part he only has moments where he romanticizes drinking. He reminds himself that it’s never one drink. Exploring the truth of what it is, sets him straight. He notices that it’s more about behaviors than actual cravings. Being short with his kids or tense with his wife. Because he now actively works on these things, he’s abl
Mon, June 08, 2020
RE 277: Season 2 - New Beginnings
Paul opens today’s episode talking about the short term & long term plans for Recovery Elevator: Paul is taking a break from the podcast and he will be focusing on the Recovery Elevator YouTube channel and creating meditations . 1-3 year plans: Recovery Elevator Retreat Center Long term goals: adding more Café RE groups Let’s all start putting thinking bigger and putting Big Energy out into the universe for Recovery Elevator. [12:09] Paul welcomes Odette, the new voice of Recovery Elevator. Odette’s last drink was 12/17/18. She is from San Diego, originally from Mexico and is married with two kids. They love the outdoors as a family. Odette enjoys learning about tea, puzzling and cooking. She often runs and uses her indoor bike for exercise. [16:08] Paul: What have you been up to since Episode 231? Odette is grateful for her recovery during this time of Covid-19. During her first year sober it’s all about relearning habits, restructuring life and setting new routines. Her year two has been about uncovering a lot of deeper seeded emotions and being more honest with herself. [19:15] Paul: Can you cover what brought you to wanting to live an alcohol free life? Drinking felt like a déjà vu of Odette’s previous addiction. (She is also in recovery from an eating disorder.) She had already walked this path and could her inner voice telling her that if she kept drinking the way she was, it would end badly. Her rock bottom was an emotional rock bottom. Odette has always felt like she wanted to be normal and because drinking is normalized in our culture she didn’t initially want to step away. Choosing to do the thing that is not considered normal would again put her in a spotlight. However, she knew internally this was the path she needed to take. For more on her story go listen to episode 128 & 231. [23:00] They talk about Odette’s path with the podcast. Odette likes relating to people. She will share when she hears her own story in others. She enjoys sharing books she’s reading and things she is listening to. Sharing a-ha moments. [24:09] Paul: What are some topics you will cover moving forward? Practical tips and recovery tools. Focusing on her recovery toolbelt and listening to what’s working for other people. Spiritual concepts and how those can be brought into our lives. Fun facts, history and what she can learn from others. Hearing from others and having the audience suggest topics. [25:23] Paul: Same format? For now, Odette plans to stay within the same format of an introduction and then having an interviewee. She loves talking and sharing and is really excited to take this forward, she is ner
Mon, June 01, 2020
RE 276: End of Season 1
Brian took his last drink September 18, 2019. At 213 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). End of Season 1 After 276 consecutive Mondays & 5 years, Paul is stepping down from the podcast and is handing Recovery Elevator over to a new and talented voice. He recaps his next steps and an overview of what the last 5 years has brought him. With 2076 days at the time of recording, Paul is filled with gratitude for all you listeners. Because of you, he is filled with enough. We are all in this together. Don’t forget, you can rate and review the podcast and tell Paul the change this podcast has affected in your own life. [13:36] Paul introduces Brian. Brian is 45 years old, married and lives in Easley, SC. He is married with two children. He was in the Army for 17 years before moving to the South. For fun Brian likes to golf, ski, snowboard, BBQ his own meats. He also does podcasting and some PA events. [17:20] Give listeners some background on your drinking. Brian didn’t drink until he had almost graduated High School. He drank and got drunk the very first time. He said that was a theme throughout his drinking. He drank to get drunk each time. He went through military training and service and returned home to finish college in Baltimore. He was asked to leave after 2 years due to a 0.0 GPA the previous semester. [21:16] When did your drinking progress? Brian said there were waves of drinking. It picked up in his 20s after leaving college. Bartending made it easy to drink a lot. In 1999 he had to call out of his job a few times due to hangover. At that time, he saw there was a problem with his drinking and got sober for about 8 months from alcohol. In 2004, he tried to quit alcohol again for about 7 months. In 2007 he got into some legal trouble but during that his now wife became pregnant with their first child. He says his daughter saved his life. Thorough out this time, Brian says he would often be spoken at work about his behavior during events that involved alcohol. And in 2020 at an executive weekend event, he spent the entire weekend drunk. He said he was spoken to a few times throughout the weekend and that next week was his last drink with his cousin. [30:55] Let talk about your last drink. Brian said it was in his mind that something needed to change. He ordered a craft beer, and it didn’t taste good. He ordered a second, it didn’t taste good. At that moment he knew something was going to change. [35:15] What was September 19, 2020 like? Brian was familiar with the sober fellowship in his area and he began attending meetings immediately. However, this time, he felt very good about his decision to stop drinking. There was a sense of relief and peace that his suffering was over. 20 yea
Mon, May 25, 2020
RE 275: The Drink in my Hand Was Never Enough
Belle took her last drink June 30, 2012. With almost 8 years of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF). On today’s episode Paul opens discussing what alcohol promises and does not deliver. Many people are trying to fill a void by using alcohol, but it will never be enough. The journey you take and the reward you earn on this life being AF is the eternal knowing that you are enough and are fulfilled. [7:58] Paul introduces Belle. Belle is 53 years old, married and lives in Paris, France. She is a caterer. [11:06] Because of the formal nature of the culture in Paris, is the recovery culture more secluded? Belle says that because she interacts mostly with English speakers (UK, American, Australia, Canada) her insight into the recovery world in France isn’t that well-informed. But she does state that there isn’t the overindulgent alcohol community that you find other places and in nearby countries. “It’s not socially acceptable to be hammered outside your home.” [16:58] Why is French onion soup so good in Paris? It’s situational, exhaustion, dehydration and fantasy of France. [18:40] Give us a background on your drinking Belle felt alcohol talking to her around the age of 21. She thought everyone had that voice. For the next 15 years she felt she was keeping drinking in check by only buying what she would drink that day and not have other alcohol in the house. At 36 she was having 3 glasses of wine a night and found it hard to go a night without. Belle began putting into place unconscious moderating techniques to keep in control. She got married in 2005 and having that partner there opened the door to more drinking but with someone else there, so it appeared less harmful. In March 2012, she tried quitting drinking for 1 month, just to prove that she could. She got 7 days. [25:59] Can you expand on the feeling you had when you realized it was actually really hard to quit drinking? Belle says it was embarrassing because there was no one to tell or talk about it with. She didn’t associate herself with alcoholics because of her high bottom drinking. She just thought she lacked self-discipline. Belle tried again with Dry July in 2012 and on day 9 knew again, this was going to be harder than anticipated. So, she started a WordPress blog to talk about the struggle. People began commenting on her blog posts and she in that moment she wasn’t alone. From that blog grew her 100-day Sober Challenge, her penpal support system and a business venture. [39:28] What are some of the lessons you have learned from doing this project? Belle says everything she’s learned are from her penpals. They taught her that while her story may be unique to her, the core experience of quitting drinking is
Mon, May 18, 2020
RE 274: I Feel Your Pain
Jeff took his last drink February 8, 2020. With 65 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF). On today’s episode Paul opens discussing emotions. How it’s ok to feel all of them and how they help us to grow. In order to shift stagnant energy inside all of us, we have to talk about our emotions. It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to vent out your emotions and break off little pieces of frustration. Are you looking to explore deeper your decision to live alcohol free and are already a Café RE member? If so, sign up for the six week course starting May 19th entitled: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set up fee. Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here . [12:08] Paul introduces Jeff. Jeff is 29 years old, lives in Tampa, FL. He is a plumber. He doesn’t have a family, yet! He likes to hang out with his dog Bo and go fishing, camping and attend sporting events. [13:58] What’s your favorite alcohol free drink? Cherry Coke. [15:13] Give us a background on your drinking Jeff started drinking around the age of 15 with anything he could get his hands on. He remembers being 5 years old and having a sip of his father’s drink. He is the youngest of 3 and when he would visit his older siblings in college, their friends would slip his drinks, as young as at the age of 11. Drinking was just what you did when you got older, it was part of being an adult. Everyone seemed to enjoy drinking, so he should too. In college he joined a fraternity and it again drinking was just what everyone did, it was part of the culture of college and he went along for the ride. However at the age of 22, Jeff realized that stopping drinking might be the better choice for him. [19:52] What were the circumstances at 22 that made you think to stop drinking? Jeff said it was the physical effects of alcohol on his mind and body. He always felt like he could be doing more in life and alcohol was holding him back. [21:45] Fill in the gaps from age 22 to 29 (7 years) as you were building awareness around your drinking. Jeff began working as a Sam Adams beer rep out of New Orleans/Baton Rouge, LA. At any given time there were 15 cases of beer in his home. Part of the job was sampling beers, so loading up a cooler full of beer every day and sampling with 10 different customers wasn’t out of the norm. The idea that something Jeff felt was in his way, but also his paycheck was difficult to reconcile. In 2015 Jeff began trying to moderate his alcohol intake. He didn’t keep much alcohol in the house, but he found when he did drink, he couldn’t stop. [
Mon, May 11, 2020
RE 273: You Don't Have to Quit Drinking to Quit Drinking
Carrie took her last drink April 7, 2020. With 7 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF). On today’s episode Paul discusses the idea that you don’t have to quit drinking in order to quit drinking and what that means to different people and himself. When you give yourself permission to be happy in the now, the need to drink goes away. By not delaying happiness in life, an alcohol-free life emerges. If you have more questions about this, please email Paul directly here . Are you looking to explore deeper your decision to live alcohol free and are already a Café RE member? If so, sign up for the six week course starting May 19th entitled: Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee. Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here . [12:30] Paul introduces Carrie. She is 42 years old, lives in Centralia, MO. She is a single mom of 2 boys. She sells cars for a living. Carries likes to read, spend time at baseballs games, spend time with her kids, to bike and be outdoors. She is looking forward to rediscovering new way to spend her time. [16:29] Give us a background on your drinking Carrie took her first drink at the age of 13 and was in treatment for alcohol twice before she was 18 years old. From the age of 18 to 27, she gathered 9 years of sobriety. After that time, she wanted to reach out and connect with other young people and thought she could pick up and drink without consequence. In 2015 after her son was born, was when she noticed her drinking was becoming unmanageable. She said her drinking got “way worse”, to the point of drinking in the mornings. [23:43] Talk to us about the last two years of your drinking. Carrie said she has always tried to moderate her drinking, but it was never possible. In March of 2020 her boss called her into his office and asked if she had a problem with alcohol, which she replied “no.” However a week later she walked back into his office and said she does have a problem and she wants help. While she did lose her job, she freed herself of the secret. [27:38] Is something different this time around? Carrie stated that yes, this time feels different. After getting through the withdrawals and praying that she wouldn’t die, she realized that this time around was the worst withdrawal she had experienced. She decided this was the last time she would ever go through this. Using th
Mon, May 04, 2020
RE 272: Recovery Gave us a Head Start
Ruth took her last drink March 21, 2020. With 13 days of sobriety (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF) during a worldwide pandemic. On today’s episode Paul discusses the sale of alcohol / liquor stores remaining open worldwide during COVID-19 and its effects. ODAAT: it’s not just for those who are living an AF life anymore. The quarantine is an invitation to examine our lives and find new pathways to joy. Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here . [13:25] Paul introduces Ruth. They start by discussing the email Ruth had sent to Paul directly to ask him what his own thoughts were about living alcohol free during COVID-19. [15:56] What were you feeling when you sent me this email? Ruth became aware that the pandemic was going to be a test for a lot of people. She wanted to let people know that this isn’t a time of hopelessness . For her, this is a time to be grateful because of choosing to stop drinking. She is 40 years old, grew up in Denver, CO but now lives in Switzerland. She is a single mom. While currently out of work, she normally is a manager at a small restaurant. For fun Ruth likes to be outside hiking or running. She enjoys a good movie and reading. [24:53] Give us a background on your drinking. Ruth began drinking as a teenager. She first got drunk at the age of 14 with some classmates. She drank for fun as a teen, had a boyfriend that was of age and could purchase alcohol. Ruth got pregnant with her first child at the age of 20 and that stopped alcohol in its tracks. She drank very moderately through her 20s. In her early 30s Ruth noticed that drinking seemed to calm her anxiety, stressors and worries. The association of alcohol and the calming of anxiety stuck with her. In 2014 she moved to Switzerland and began a new romantic relationship that was “very boozy.” Her drinking ramped up quickly, drinking daily and often early in the day. [30:43] Was there a time during the escalation of your drinking that you questioned this path? Ruth remembered even during the moderate drinking in her 20s, if she couldn’t have a beer or the stores were closed, it created a grumpy feeling. And at the same time, she felt that wasn’t the proper emotion to be experiencing. [33:25] Can you think of a definitive moment when you said “I need to quit drinking?” Ruth indicated that there were several attempts, but the catalyst was the breakup from her most recent relationship. She said to herself “if you can survive this breakup, you can stop drinking.” Ruth learned about how a breakup and alcohol withdrawal create similar feelings/reactions within the brain. </
Mon, April 27, 2020
RE 271: Sobriety in a Pandemic Part II
Kirby took her last drink March 25, 2018. This is her story. On today’s episode Paul shares more stories from listeners, and Café RE members, sharing their experiences during the Covid-19 pandemic. We’d love to hear how you are doing through this as well. Email your story to info@recoveryelevator.com . Paul shares the details about his free guided meditation. To find those meditations, go here . [16:41] Paul introduces Kirby. Kirby is 30 years old and lives in Charleston, SC. She is single and lives with 2 other family members and her 3 cats. For fun Kirby likes to try new things, even things she thinks she won’t be interested in. Spending time outside brings her joy. Her favorite alcohol free concert was Ryan Caraveo. [19:40] Give us a background on your drinking. Kirby thinks her first drink was around the age, of 13. She doesn’t exactly remember, but has been able to piece it together through asking friends. Her first black out happened at the age of 16, which she considers the starting point of drinking. At 19 she began working at a sports bar which allowed her to keep drinking, even under age. When she turned 21, she posted to Facebook that she wanted to hit “burned out liquor head status” and drank for the next 30 days straight. [21:38] What happened after those 30 days? Did you have withdrawal symptoms or return to normal drinking or did signs of addiction show at this time? Kirby said she doesn’t really remember because drinking at that level, the memories are really fuzzy. But she believes she went back to normal drinking for her, which was only on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturday and sometimes Sundays. Kirby and her friends said that shots “don’t count.” So while she was drinking 5-6 beers, she was also having 5-6 shots. At the age of 26 was when the drinking took a turn. Kirby got out of a relationship and started to burn the candle at both ends. Drinking 8 -10 beers a night, matching that with shots. Here is when she figured out that if she didn’t do shots, she wouldn’t black out, meaning she wasn’t drunk. [24:04] Was blacking out just to go away and not feel / be empty for a while? Kirby said definitely, and that also part of the fun was piecing back together the night before. Sitting with friends and putting the night back together based on who remembers what. At this time she also began to put rules into place for her drinking because she knew that once she started she wasn’t going to stop drinking. [27:20] When was the first time you said Uh-oh about your drinking? Kirby said that the first time she felt something was wrong with her drinking was when she woke up in Octob
Mon, April 20, 2020
RE 270: Sobriety in a Pandemic
Tom took his last drink February 16, 2019. This is his story. On today’s episode Paul shares stories from listeners, and Café RE members, sharing their experiences during this Covid-19 pandemic. We’d love to hear how you are doing through this as well. Email your story to info@recoveryelevator.com . Paul also reminds us to cut ourselves a break, practice self-love and compassion. He asks that you love yourself, regardless of where you are on this journey. For some free guided meditations, go here . [18:55] Paul introduces Tom. Tom is 64 years old and lives along the shore of Lake Erie, near Cleveland, OH. He is married and has 2 adult children, a son and a daughter. For work Tom is a graphic artist, and for fun Tom loves to cook, which led him to vegetable gardening, which is also a loved pastime of his. Tom is also a big history buff. [26:55] Give us a background on your drinking. Tom started drinking in high school and found it helped him overcome his shyness. He continued to drink regularly for about 18 years. He didn’t drink every day, was more of a binge drinker. Drinking made outgoing and he liked it. In 1991 Tom got a DUI while driving home from a wedding. Up until that point Tom had never thought about quitting drinking. After getting the DUI he just stopped. He stopped for about 14 years. [28:25] What happened after 14 years? Tom said after 14 years he just started easing back into it, drinking occasionally. That continued from about 2005 to 2017. In 2017 Tom realized that his drinking was causing more anxiety than it was solving, and he became sober-curious. [34:00] Was there a time during those 5 months of day 1s that you just wanted to give up? Tom said it was more a frustration because it was ridiculously consistent and he couldn’t seem to break the habit. In February of 2019 Tom got the flu and missed a couple days of work, during which he drank, while trying to hide it. Tom’s wife called him out on it and on February 17, 2019, Tom joined Café RE and hasn’t had a drink since. [39:00] What was it like when you reached out for additional accountability? Tom said he thought, why should he do this alone, so after listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast he joined Café RE. He started getting posting videos and connecting with other members. The connections led to in-person meetups which are one of the biggest parts of Tom’s sobriety and life. [47:47] What can you say to people out there that are struggling and can’t make it past day 1? Tom says that when you are getting started you have to change everything that you are doing. He also sugge
Mon, April 13, 2020
RE 269: “Nolo” Drinks - NA Beers and Kombucha
Derek took his last drink August 22, 2019. This is his story. On today’s episode Paul talks about what a Nolo drink is, non-alcoholic beers, and kombucha…and whether, or not, we should stay away from them if they have trace amounts of alcohol. He also talks about the roll, if any, that cannabis and plant medicine play in recovery. Paul also explains about some of the changes taking place with Café RE. Sone of the changes is, starting on May 1st, 15% of the membership fees will dedicated towards a partnership with a non-profit organization that is geared towards helping those affected by addiction. The link to the article where Paul gets his information from can be found here . [15:35] Paul introduces Derek. Derek is 35-year-old and is from New York City, currently living in Philadelphia, and is a real estate agent. Derek loves riding his bike and playing ping pong. [18:42] Give us a background on your drinking. Derek started drinking when he was 13 years old, drinking on the streets of New York. Derek realized that he loved the feeling of being out of control. When Derek was 17 years old his father was killed in the World Trade Center and he used alcohol to cover up those feelings. Alcohol helped him get through those brutal moments and became like his best friend. He says he continued to drink like that up until 6 months ago (his sobriety date) and those feelings are all coming back up. [21:00] When did you start to realize that alcohol was not working for you? Derek said it was about 3 years ago. The negative started to outweigh the positive. [23:14] What happened when you realized this? Derek said he started keeping track on a calendar of his drinking days, verses his non-drinking days. He tried to slow down. He started making negotiations with himself, like not drinking during the week, only drinking beer. One very drunk night he realized that he just had to stop, that moderation did not work for him. [27:35] Why do you think willpower flew out the window when you were drinking? Derek said that when he took that first sip he was no longer in control. He said it was like a monster that lived inside of him and every time he let it out, he was no longer in control. [32:33] Talk to us about that moment you stopped drinking, and how you did it. Derek said the first couple days were easy because he had such a bad hangover, but the first weekend was tough because he didn’t know what to do, that he had not gone a weekend without drinking in years and years. He said what he started to do was start to do the things he enjoyed again. He started to play the piano and gu
Mon, April 06, 2020
RE 268: You’re in the Ring
Raj took his last drink May 11, 2014. This is his story. On today’s episode Paul zooms out and talks about the journey. If you are listening to this podcast you are an active participant in the center of the ring. Your conscious decision to ditch the booze places you in the center of the ring. Who is the critic when you’re in the ring grappling with alcohol? You are, but you can rewire those thoughts and become your greatest cheerleader. Watch the video of the little girl not giving up here . [16:05] Paul introduces Raj. Raj is 54 years old and is from Las Angeles. He is divorced and has a 13-year-old son. Raj is an avid cyclist and says it keeps him sober. [22:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Raj says he didn’t really drink until college and even then, it was a very slow progression. In 1991 Raj started having adverse consequences to his drinking, such a getting a DUI and not getting hired for a job. In 2010, and the following 3 years, his drinking totally spiraled out of control. [25:50] During this progression were you able to step back and see the writing on the wall? Raj said he definitely did not. He said he lived in denial for over 20 years. [26:46] Get us up to speed to May 2011. Raj said he always performed well in his career; his drinking didn’t affect it. But in the summer of 2010 Raj had a serious biking accident and broke his ankle and was prescribed an insane amount of Vicodin. In a period of 4 months he watched his work productivity go to hell, actually getting put on probation at work. Because work was always something that he could keep together, Raj said he lost it at this point. His drinking and drug use took off. That led to another DUI in May of 2011, which led him to the doors of AA. [29:25] Fill in the gaps between your first AA meeting and May 2014? Raj said he started going to AA and got a sponsor, but didn’t really do the steps. In 2012 he convinced himself that he didn’t have a drinking problem, but was still having blackouts and waking up in the hospital not knowing how he got there. In November of 2012, after a locking himself in his hotel room while at a work retreat, causing a huge scene at the airport, and landing in the hospital again Raj was fired from his job. This led Raj to The Betty Ford treatment facility and Raj says this was his rock bottom moment. Two more rehabs, another DUI, and Raj finally got sober in May of 2014. [34:20] What happened next? Raj said he started taking AA seriously, got a new sponsor that was pretty much an AA hard ass that took Raj through the 12 steps. Raj says he was just ready. He had to become humble,
Mon, March 30, 2020
RE 267: When Facing Crisis
Lucas took his last drink November 13, 2018. This is his story. On today’s episode Paul talks about crisis. In some languages the word ‘crisis’ is coupled with the word ‘opportunity’. Everyone experiences crisis’ in life, but we are the fortunate ones that are forced to reach out for help. We are then in this together…think the movie, The Breakfast Club. [11:15] Paul introduces Lucas. Lucas is 32 years old, was born and raised in the DC metro area. He is married, no kids yet. Lucas is a UPS driver. He has a dog that they rescued from a shelter. For fun Lucas likes to work out, go to sporting events, and concerts. [17:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Lucas started drinking when he was 13 years old. By the time he was 15/16 he says he would routinely blackout from drinking. It was at that time he started to realize that it was something he perhaps should look at. Even though he was aware that he may have a problem at this young age his drinking continued to progress through his 20s and college. Lucas said he really started to see the effect that his behavior had on his life in his late 20s, early 30s. [28:44] How powerful was it to bring your wife along with you on your journey? Lucas said that it has been vital to his sobriety, that it was so critical because it (sobriety) has been such a hard, and courageous, thing to do. [33:33] Talk to us about what you meant when you said, “moderation in all in my mind”. Lucas says that moderation is not an attainable thing for him, that it is a word that was made up to make him feel better and convince himself that he could continue to have alcohol in his life. Once he realized that moderation wasn’t a thing it was freeing. [39:55] Talk to us about quitting Adderall? Lucas said that Adderall was something he started taking in college and not because he really needed it, but because he liked its mood-altering qualities. Once he quit taking it, he realized that it actually was making him less productive and less organized. [44:10] Walk us through a sample day in a life without alcohol. Lucas said he is a creature of habit. He wakes up, lets the dog out, reads meditation passages, goes to the gym, goes to work, goes home, sometimes reads, cooks dinner, visits with his wife when she gets home from work and is in bed by 10/11 PM. [51:00] What is an excuse that you used to tell yourself for why you couldn’t quit drinking? Lucas would tell himself that he didn’t have a problem. [51:35] Rapid Fire Round What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey? When I realized how much time I was spending pursuing the feeling that I was never going to obtain again.
Mon, March 23, 2020
RE 266: Rule 22
Renee took her last drink January 2, 2020. This is her story. If you have ever wanted to attend a Recovery Elevator event you should get yourself to Denver in June for the Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - June 11-14th, 2020. This event will be, essentially, the closeout event for Recovery Elevator. You can find more information about our event here. On today’s episode Paul talks about Rule 22. What it is. Why it is important to make this rule a part of your life ASAP. Rule 22 = Lighten up. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laughter really is the best medicine. Life is never as serious as the mind wants us to believe. [12:00] Paul introduces Renee. Renee is 40 years old and live in Greendale, WI. She is a hair stylist and is currently working at a children’s hair salon. She is married and they have 2 kids, a 10-year-old and a 7-year-old. Renee also has a 20-year-old son from a previous relationship. For fun Renee likes to hike, camp, go on vacations, paddleboard and jigsaw puzzles. [17:25] Give us a background on your drinking. Renee started drinking as a teenager, around the age of 15. She says she did it to fit in and have fun. She met her husband, in a bar, in her early 20s and they pretty much drank together every weekend. It wasn’t until 2007 that Renee started drinking more than just on the weekends. After getting married they were drinking 3-4 days out of the week. Renee got pregnant early on and while she couldn’t drink due to being pregnant, her husband continued to drink. That made Renee mad because she wanted to drink. Renee did start drinking again, in the hospital, after giving birth to her children. [20:30] Was drinking again, as soon as you had your baby, something that you had pre-planned? Renee said she could not wait to drink after her baby was born. She did the same exact thing during and after her 2nd pregnancy a few years later. [24:18] Why do you think your husband came clean about his drinking? Renee said he told her because he couldn’t do it anymore. [24:40] What was your response? Renee was pissed off when he first told her. [28:35] When did you both recognize that alcohol was almost the driving divider? Renee says it was in October of 2019 when her husband told her about his drinking. They started to put all the pieces together and realized that everything bad that had happened between them was caused by alcohol, in some way, or somehow. [30:40] Has there been a moment when one of you was about to drink and you had that conver
Mon, March 16, 2020
RE 265: The Strategy of the Comfort Zone
Janine took her last drink on October 6, 2019. This is her story. If you have ever wanted to attend a Recovery Elevator event you should get yourself to Denver in June for the Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - June 11-14th, 2020. This event will be, essentially, the closeout event for Recovery Elevator. You can find more information about our event here. On today’s episode, Paul talks about your comfort zone, why it’s important to have one, why it is so important to get outside of it, and how it is possible to get too far out of it. The true authentic you doesn’t exist in your comfort zone. Stepping outside your comfort zone even once, makes it easier that you’ll do it again. As for ditching the booze, here are some strategies in regards to the comfort zone. Instead of quitting forever, aim for one day, or 50% of the days in a month. Burning the ships? Go at your own pace. 90 meetings in 90 days too much, aim for 1 a week, then 2 a week. [20:00] Paul introduces Janine. Janine is 32 years old and is from Pensacola, FL. She is married and has a 9-month-old daughter. Janine is a former kindergarten teacher. For fun she likes to go to the beach with her family, walking her dog and spending time with her daughter. [24:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Janine took her first drink when she was 17-years-old and she immediately loved the feeling it gave her. Through college she feels she drank like every other college student. Janine says her drinking didn’t take off until she started her teaching career, and that gradually over the years she was drinking more and more. When she met her husband, and knew that it was something serious, she says she knew that she was going to have to do something about her drinking. [26:45] Talk to us about the methods you used to try and control your drinking. Janine said she tried them all. Switched from liquor to wine/beer. Still getting backout drunk after switching to wine she tried drinking a glass of water after every glass of wine. Not drinking during the week, but even when that worked, she was still getting blackout drunk all weekend. [28:15] Was there a time when fear came in and you didn’t think you could stop? Janine said yes, that that is exactly what happened. [30:30] Can you tell us a little about postpartum depression? Janine said for her she felt like she lost some of her identity, her whole life now revolved around another human being. She had days when she would look in the mirror and not even recognize herself. Her emotions were all over the place. Jani
Mon, March 09, 2020
RE 264: Broken and Whole
Aaron took his last drink October 6, 2019. This is his story. If you have ever wanted to attend a Recovery Elevator event you should get yourself to Denver in June for the Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - June 11-14th, 2020. This event will be, essentially, the closeout event for Recovery Elevator. You can find more information about our event here. On today’s episode Paul talks about it being possible for things to coexist in your life, you can feel calm and accomplished while you still have things to do. It is important to recognize both parts equally. When you are in the middle of a tough emotion you can chose to ride it out on the surface, which would be the mind, or deep down, which would be the belly area of the body. Do you best to get out of the mind and stay in the belly, preferably with belly breaths. [13:00] Paul introduces Aaron. Aaron is 54 years old and lives in Pittsburgh, PA. He is a chiropractor and loves health, fitness and exercise. Aaron has a 65-acre farm and plays rugby. [17:50] Give us a background on your drinking. Aaron didn’t drink until his dad passed away from heart failure when Aaron was a junior in college. His friend left some wine coolers at his house and he decided to give them a try and he liked the way they made him feel. He continued to drink through college and alcohol made him the life of the party. Aaron moved to Florida after graduation, he was 21 years old and had a teaching degree. He was only drinking on the weekends at this time and started playing rugby. He says drinking and rugby go hand in hand. Aaron graduated from chiropractor school and continued to only drink on the weekends. This was his drinking pattern through his 30s and 40s. It was in his late 40s that he realized that he hadn’t gone a week without drinking, even if it was only on the weekends. He thought he might have an issue with alcohol but he didn’t think it was a big deal. [29:55] Talk to us about how you tried to hide it before you fully got on board on stopping. Aaron says that this went on for years. He was hiding beers in cereal boxes. He was waking up in the middle of the night with pounding headaches. Aaron said his wife started to notice what he was doing and started to call him out. He started getting sick and having headaches after just 2 beers. [33:33] Get us up to speed to before your sobriety date. Aaron says in 2018 he stopped drinking for 6 months, but then at a bar one night said, “I got this.”, and had an IPA. That started another year of drinking for Aaron. In October of 2019 he said he has got to stop (drinking) and
Mon, March 02, 2020
RE 263: Top Ten Benefits of Quitting Drinking
Tara took her last drink February 4, 2019. This is her story. On today’s episode Paul talks about the top 10 reasons for quitting drinking. Number one; your authentic self will begin to emerge. Number two; you don’t have a headache due to lack of aspirin in your system. Number three; you’ll begin to find out who you aren’t. Number four; you’re open to signs from the universe. Number five; you can start to see the insanity of the mind. Number six; your brain will start to produce regular amounts of melatonin. Number seven; welcome back oxytocin. Number eight; you’re part of something much bigger. Number nine; you stop hoping. Number ten; you have a chance to start working on the one big lesson you’ve signed up for in this lifetime. [19:15] Paul introduces Tara. Tara is 46 years old and lives in Seattle, WA. She is a preschool teacher, founded her own preschool 25 years ago. She is married to her high school sweetheart and has 2 adult children. For fun Tara loves to dance. [22:30] Give us a background on your drinking. Tara says there were 3 scary moments that caused her to pause and think that alcohol could be a problem. The first was when she was 15 years old and she was at a wedding and the bar was opened up to her. This was a formal wedding and Tara jumped into the pool. She was the only one in the pool. Tara’s second scary moment was also in high school. She was at a party drinking hard alcohol and decided to get into the hot tub. Tara says she got so sick that she threw up blood. Tara’s third scary moment came when she was in her forties and was on an annual girl’s trip to Palm Springs. She drank like she normally did, with no off switch, and she fell and hit her head. All Tara could think about when that happened is that that was how her dad died. [38:25] Talk to us about right before you quit drinking. Tara says she went to a party and started drinking, and instead of calming her anxiety like she felt alcohol usually did, her anxiety amped up. It made her question how much she was going to have to drink to feel that ‘warm blanket’. [42:50] Your Dad is listening right now, what do you have to say to him? Tara said she just wants to let her Dad know that she loves him, and she’s proud of him. [45:20] How did your relationship with your husband change after you quit drinking? Tara says that her bond with her husband is even stronger and deeper now. [49:00] What has been your biggest challenge this last year? Tara says is the ones that kind or catch you out of nowhere. [50:40] What’s an excuse you used to tell yourself of why you couldn’t quit drinking? Tara said it was telling herself that she didn’t drink every day or
Mon, February 24, 2020
RE 262: Do the Work
Vinny took his last drink 9 ½ years ago. This is his story. On today’s episode Paul talks about change. Whether you like it, or not, you are always changing. You’re either building new circuits or adding new blockages to your energy field. With an addiction it’s either gaining momentum or you’re lessening the energetic bonds of the addiction. You must make time to always do the work. [15:45] Paul introduces Vinny. Vinny is 61 years old and lives in Bangkok. For fun Vinny like to read, watch a good TV series, going to meetings and helping people. [19:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Vinny discovered alcohol in his late teens and continued to use it for 10 years. The next 10 years involved alcohol and smoking marijuana. He added crack to the mix and became a crack addict for the following 5 years. He went to 2 treatment centers and didn’t get clean until 2004. He hit his bottom while living (homeless) in Las Vegas. He managed to get sober after that and it lasted 3 years. [22:45] What in your message you want to get out? Vinny says that recovery can be simple. Simple means it’s not complicated. [27:13] How can thinking get us into more trouble? Vinny says that most of us do not think, or see, very clearly. He says we act based on the false evidence we see in front of us, so obviously if we are not relating to reality, we are always going to make the wrong choices. [30:05] What do you see is the biggest challenge that someone on this journey will face? Vinny says he thinks that people have the illusion that they have to do it all themselves. [38:05] What do you think addiction is and where do you think it comes from? Vinny says he doesn’t know where addiction comes from, and that it doesn’t matter. [44:00] Talk to us a little bit about self-loathing. Vinny says self-loathing is shame. [46:35] Talk to us about burning the ships and being honest with others. Vinny says that sometimes we are not even aware that we aren’t honest with ourselves. [52:30] Do you think that someone can become recovered? Vinny says if you want to use the word recovered in the present moment, yes. If recovered means you are cured, then no. [54:50] Rapid Fire Round What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Pepsi-Cola What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? The energy here at my job, on a Saturday afternoon, seeing 30 recovering people connect with each other. What’s some of the best advice you’ve ever received? Don’t take yourself
Mon, February 17, 2020
RE 261: Do You Want to Quit Drinking or Not?
Sofi took her last drink on April 28, 2014. This is her story. On today’s episode Paul talks about tough love. If you are saying you want to quit drinking…but…”you can’t because… fill in the blank ”, or “you can’t because you don’t want to… fill in the blank ”, in other words, you want to quit but don’t want to put in the work, well here’s some tough love for you…that doesn’t work. [11:00] Paul introduces Sofi. Sofi is 30 years old and it from London. She has 4 older sisters. For fun Sofi enjoys exercise and hanging out in nature while listening to podcasts. [15:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Sofi says she has always had an addictive personality. With alcohol Sofi noticed a change around the age of 14. She was at a boarding school so all her drinking took place on the weekends. Sofi says that the wheels came off when she went to university. Freshman year she was going out every night. By her 2nd year of university, when most of her friends had slowed down, Sofi continued her drinking ways. Sofi never finished university and at the age of 21 was in her fist rehab. That began a revolving door for the next 4 years…rehab, relapse, rehab, relapse. [21:00] 13 treatment centers, was there ever a time when you just felt like the next one wasn’t going to work? Sofi says she liked rehab. She liked that when she was there, she met people that thought like she did. [25:50] What does ‘you can’t think your way out of this problem’ mean to you? Sofi said she had learned all the tools in all of her rehab stays, but because she didn’t know how to use them, she kept relapsing and going back. It wasn’t until she had a moment of clarity that it all came together and made sense. [31:15] Talk to us about what you learned in those first 3 years, and then in the 2 years after that. Sofi says she was learning to live through the highs and lows during the first 3 years. She also learned, through the AA community, that she wasn’t such a bad person and how to make things right with her family. The biggest thing that Sofi has learned, and is still learning, is that she does not need to punish herself. [34:05] How do you address self-loathing? Sofi says she at the place where she accepts herself, most of the time. She tries to treat herself as she would treat someone else. [36:15] Talk to us a little bit about your experience here at Hope Rehab. Sofi says it is such a fun environment. Hope Rehab is teaching people how to enjoy life sober. There is a big emphasis on exercise. [41:15] Rapid Fire Round What is a memorable moment, that a life without alcohol, has given you? Going on holid
Mon, February 10, 2020
RE 260: Moderate Drinking
Lisa took her last drink on December 16, 2017. This is her story. On today’s episode Paul talks about moderate drinking, and whether or not it works. For almost everyone, when we first decide to quit drinking, we try to moderate. The question isn’t, can I still have alcohol in my life, but…do I want to be a moderate version of my authentic self? Are there success stories of moderate drinking? Sure. But they don’t work out in the long run. [18:30] Paul introduces Lisa. Lisa is from Minneapolis, Minnesota. She is 40 years old and has 2 kids, a 21-year-old and 18-year-old. Lisa has been a single mom for 13 years. She is a RN and does patient care part time and education full time. For fun Lisa loves going to the gym, and when the weather is nice, she likes to hike. [22:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Lisa started drinking at the age of 14. She wasn’t a huge drinker, but whenever she could drink, she did, and she always wanted to get wasted. At 27 she was newly divorced with 2 kids, and had come out of a very unhealthy relationship. Sad and depressed she moved in with her parents and that’s when her drinking ramped up. Fast forward to 2017, at 37 years old, her son has left for college and she is feeling a little empty nest syndrome, is sad, is drinking and blacking out every weekend. Her last month of drinking she was drinking and driving, hanging out with people she wouldn’t normally hang out with, drawing lines in the sand and quickly going over them. On December 17, 2017, she was up north with her twin sister, was nursing a really bad hangover, and says she looked at her sister and said she was done. Within the following week Lisa had called a girlfriend who took her to 3 AA meetings by the end of that week. [28:38] Was there a moment of clarity? Lisa says yes. She went up north with her sister to see a Christmas light show, still extremely hungover and getting sick during the ride, and as she got out of the car and saw the convention center, she just knew she was done. Within an hour of saying she was done drinking Lisa says her spirit felt lighter. [32:35] What roll has your sister played on this journey? Lisa says her sister has played a vital role, and that her sister herself is 1 year sober. At 3 months sober Lisa, sitting in her closet crying, called her sister who gave her the advice she needed to hear…to not “go back out” (drink). [36:30] Talk to us about how you did it, what’s working for you? Lisa works a 12-step program and has a sponsor. She says that really early on she would look for ladies at meetings that had smiles on their faces. If she was asked to do something, she did it, she volunteered at a lot of events. Lisa loves bringing meetings into a detox. She als
Mon, February 03, 2020
RE 259: It’s the Simple Things in Life
Andrew took his last drink on February 16, 2019. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On today’s episode Paul talks about 2 things. Number one is about how it is the simple things in life that matter the most. Number two is, watch out for addiction whack-a-mole, or transfer addiction, with an emphasis on technology and smart phones. [16:15] Paul introduces Andrew. Andrew is 47 years old and lives in Sidney, AUS. He is divorced and enjoys spending time by the water. [20:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Andrew was about 15 years old the first time he drank and he realized that, when he drank, he didn’t quite behave the same way as everybody else. He says that he felt that alcohol calmed him down. [23:00] When did you first recognize that alcohol was causing more damage than good? By age 19 Andrew had 4 drunk driving charges. Andrew thought that spending 5 days in jail, after running through a roadside sobriety test, was a holiday because he had been working so hard. [24:30] How did you keep a lid on from age 19 to 46? Andrew says he didn’t keep a lid on his drinking. He managed to work really hard at the jobs he had, working in the restaurant business. He says he was constantly getting fined at work, and driving to work drunk. Andrew says he was allowed to get away with this behavior at work because the restaurants would be doing so well under his management. [35:20] Did you feel you still needed some field research after your ban from the grocery store? Andrew says that this was the beginning of trying to find any way to get out from how he was. He was swimming in the ocean but this behavior increased for the next 6 months. After cutting his drinking back, but still drinking about 10 beers a day, he had a seizure, at the train station. This led to a 5-day hospital stay. [44:10] What can you say to listeners out there that feel that they are too far gone? Andrew says that there is no such thing as too far gone. [55:19] Rapid Fire Round What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey? Probably the first time I was told, you can have alcohol, or you can have everything else. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you? <
Mon, January 27, 2020
RE 258: SOBER - Son of a Bitch, Everything’s Real
Scott took his last drink on December 2, 2018. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! Registration is now open for the 2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind. The event will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO. You can find more information about our events here. On today’s episode Paul talks about control. He also talks about an article, by Anna Ronan Shaw, that he read. The article is titled Addiction Isn’t a Sin, It’s an Adaption, and you can find it here . Paul shares his take, that addictions represent part of our personalities that are in the most need of healing. [11:25] Paul introduces Scott. Scott is 48 years old and lives in Denver, CO. He is a bicycle mechanic. For fun Scott likes to ride bikes, exercise, and hang out with his dogs, Willie and Waylon. [22:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Scott started drinking in Jr. High/High School. Within a couple of years Scott got 2 DUIs, 9 years later he got his 3rd DUI and lost his license for 5 years. In January 2004 Scott decided to go to rehab. After making some phone calls he entered rehab on January 3, 2004, and stayed for 28 days. Once out of rehab Scott immersed himself into recovery and AA. In 2005 Scott was cleaning a family members house and found a vile of cocaine. He says that within seconds he had it lined up, and up his nose. He looked at that relapse as a lesson, reminding him how powerless over drugs/alcohol he was. He continued his AA and recovery journey. In 2008 Scott says he said the 3 most dangerous words an alcoholic can say, “I got this”. He gradually left the support of his AA community and the farther away he got the emptier his “sobriety toolbox” got. In 2012 Scott bought his first house and thought it would be cool to sit on his porch and drink NA beers. Because of his 2 surgeries, and not liking pain pills, Scott started to smoke pot to help the pain. In October of 2013 Scott’s father got in a really bad bicycle accident. In the ambulance ride to the hospital with his father Scott saw a liquor store across from the hospital. As soon as Scott’s father was settled in the hospital Scott headed for the store. Without thinking about the 9 ½ years he had been alcohol free S
Mon, January 20, 2020
RE 257: I Quit Drinking... Now What?
Bianca took her last drink on October 3, 2018. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! Registration is now open for the 2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind. The event will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO. You can find more information about our events here. On today’s episode Paul talks about the process of rediscovering what you like to do, after ditching the booze, and to let it happen organically. He encourages you to engage in activities where you find yourself in a ‘flow state’, or ‘in the zone’. Instead of focusing on new hobbies and fun activities, try to find things where you almost lose yourself. [7:30] Paul introduces Bianca. Bianca is 22 years old and is from Austin, TX. She recently graduated from college and is working for a temp agency while she looks for that full time job. Bianca lives with her girlfriend. For fun Bianca spends her time reading and in nature. [13:40] Give us a background on your drinking. Bianca didn’t really drink while in high school, but in college she went wild. She tried to moderate during her freshman year by documenting everything she did that involved alcohol. That didn’t work. The following year, 2016, she started doing drugs along with drinking. Bianca does not remember much from her junior year. By the beginning of her senior year (2018) she had a lot of things on her plate and her drinking was still up there. Bianca says she had a lot of little rock bottoms that finally accumulated into her big rock bottom, which happened on October 3. [17:40] What happened on October 3? Bianca and some friends went out to get something to eat. What started out as just one drink escalated to the point that one of her friends took her wallet away from her. They went to a liquor store after that, and Bianca ended up at home, alone, taking shots. She met up with her friends a little later, still sneaking double shots. Bianca stumbled home and after mixing more drugs with the alcohol she passed out. The following morning she woke up hating herself. [25:00] What was that first month like? On October 4th Bianca texted the hotline and did what they told her to do, she got rid of her booze and hid her drugs. She says the first few days and nights were tough. She wou
Mon, January 13, 2020
RE 256: What Happens to Your Brain When You Stop Drinking Alcohol
Greg took his last drink on October 2, 2012. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! Registration is now open for the 2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind. The event will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO. You can find more information about our events here. On today’s episode Paul talks about what happens to the dome when you stop drinking alcohol. There is a long list of benefits of quitting alcohol, and the mental health aspects are just as important as the physical ones. In the first year away from alcohol, and beyond, neurons in the brain that no longer fire together, no longer wire together. This means the neural connections that spark when we want to drink, or take a drink, begin to fade. In time new neural connections are created that don’t involve alcohol. [9:40] Paul introduces Greg. Greg is 35 years old and from Orange County, CA. Greg is an actor and has a 4-year-old daughter. For fun Greg likes to go on adventures with his daughter and create music. [12:25] Give us a background on your drinking. Greg first started drinking alcohol as a social lubricant. Alcohol made it easier to talk to people and deal with things that he had tried to avoid. In the beginning Greg was more of a clown when he drank, but in his early to mid-twenties his drinking got out of hand. He was no longer drinking for fun anymore; he was relying on it to get through the day. [19:07] Was there a time when you knew the gig was up but you didn’t know where to go for help, or how to stop? Greg said yes, that it was a really demoralizing moment involving alcohol and cocaine. He woke up, went outside in the rain, chain smoked about 10 cigarettes, and knew he needed to talk to somebody. He called his sister, and without giving it much thought, told her he needed help. His sister was there 20 minutes later, and with Greg’s mom helped get him into a place. [20:55] What happened after that? Greg entered a treatment center and white knuckled it the first two weeks, and then eventually the clarity started to come. [24:30] Talk to us about your experience after rehab. Greg said he surrounded himself with sober friends and family. He started going to school and focused on that, and also stated going
Mon, January 06, 2020
RE 255: Does Addiction Serve a Purpose?
Kerri took her last drink on November 6, 2018. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! Happy New Year! On January 1st the 4th Café RE group, UP, opened. 2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO. Registration opens on January 8th, you can find more information about our events here. On today’s episode Paul talks about meeting the man he would stay with while in Mexico, hearing his story, and discovering they had a connection through the TEDx Talk that Paul gave. You can find the TEDx Talk, I’ve been duped by alcohol, here . Paul also discusses a video he recently watched, an interview by Dr. Gabor Mate, (author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts). Dr. Mate says if you want to look at what causes the addiction you have to look at the benefit of addiction. That the greatest myth on addiction is that its genetic, the other myth around addiction is that it is a choice that people make. You can watch the Dr. Gabor Mate video here . [10:14] Paul introduces Kerri. (**Doing the shownotes for my own interview is awkward! **) Kerri just turned 50, is married, and lives in Redding, CA. She has two adult daughters, that both have families, and is a grandmother to 4. For work Kerri recently fell into a new career, as a baker, and does stuff for RE. For fun Kerri loves to be outdoors, hiking, taking her 3 rescue dogs out, travel, and kayaking. [15:51] Give us a background on your drinking. Kerri started drinking in high school and was a black out drinker from the start. A family move before 9th grade made Kerri very angry. Alcohol helped her fit into a new school and she quickly became known as a partier. Kerri got married at 19, had her daughters right away. She says that her and her ex-husband were problem drinkers throughout their entire 17-year marriage. Kerri’s drinking really ramped up after her divorce. [17:00] How old were you when you realized you had a problem with alcohol? Kerri says that in high school she knew she didn’t drink like her friends, but that she didn’t care. Alcohol got her out of her shell. [18:00] What happened after your divorce? Kerri says her drinkin
Mon, December 30, 2019
RE 254: Your are What You Think
Justin took his last drink on November 5, 2018. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-14 in Denver, CO. You can find more information about our events here. On today’s episode Paul talks about manifestation, how you basically create your future with your thoughts. We all do it, most often unconsciously. What is, and isn’t, possible isn’t your business, it’s nature’s business. Your business is to thrive towards what you want; sobriety, the why. To create what you want it must be clear in your mind, stay the course, make a commitment to this clear and coherent goal of quitting drinking. If you don’t know what you truly want, seek love and connection in the mind with thoughts. Those two alone will blast through addiction. [14:25] Paul introduces Justin. Justin lives in Santa Cruz, CA. He is a musician and has been playing music for about 22 years. He is 31 years old. [17:27] Give us a background on your drinking. Justin says he got introduced to drugs and alcohol around the age of 16. He says he always wanted just a little bit more than everyone else, and then he started mixing up the drugs and alcohol at the same time. Shortly after graduating high school Justin’s mother passed away and that sent him down a spiral. He started to really abuse drugs and alcohol, waking up sick every morning and hardly able to function. He realized that he needed to get help or he was going to die. [19:00] How old were you when you realized you needed to get help? Justin says it was around the age of 24 that he first really realized it, but that it wasn’t until the age of 27 that he really that he had thoughts of really quitting. At 27 Justin realized he had to stop, and that he couldn’t stop. [19:43] What happened then? One of Justin’s friends told him about the plant medicine ayahuasca. Justin felt like he had to options, rehab or try the plant medicine. He signed up for an ayahuasca ceremony. Within a couple hours of drinking the plant medicine the first night Justin says he had a life changing experience. He was taken right to his mother’s death and says she was
Mon, December 23, 2019
RE 253: Sobriety is Your Superpower
Val took her last drink on June 26, 2019. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-14 in Denver, CO. You can find more information about our events here. On today’s episode Paul talks about some recent events that he has gone through and why he ended up in Oaxaca, Mexico. While meditating this past June, Oaxaca; the name, the city, just showed up. Shortly after that, Oaxaca started showing up in film, tv, Netflix episodes, the Internet, and a gift he received from his mom was from Oaxaca. Paul says he then knew he had to travel to Oaxaca. Sobriety is your superpower, and an offshoot of that superpower is putting the body and mind in a state of calm. [12:00] Paul introduces Val. Val is 30 years old and is from Fort Collins, CO. She works from home for a software company. Val is married and is one of 5 children, and also has 4 step siblings. For fun Val likes to golf, walk her dog, do crafty things, cook and enjoys the outdoors. [16:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Val started drinking around the age 14/15 in high school, usually just on the weekends. In college her drinking became almost a daily activity, which was also the time she was prescribed Adderall. During college Val worked at different bars, and continued working in the restaurant industry after college. In a way, working at these places, validated Val’s drinking because she didn’t see herself as bad off as those she was serving alcohol to. Once out of college her drinking habit changed and she was drinking more at home, with her husband. This, at the age of 24/25, is also when she started using her Adderall more than it was prescribed. Adderall kept her productive even with a hangover. Around this same time Val says she started to realize that she (and her husband) might have a problem with alcohol and they started trying to moderate. [21:48] Half way through this year you both stopped drinking for a couple weeks, and then both relapsed, fill us in from there. Val says she was out of town when they relapsed, and that when she came back her husband was ready to be sober. She said she would do the same, but it was because she wa
Mon, December 16, 2019
RE 252: Future Tripping
Wendy took her last drink on June 4, 2017. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. There will be 2 in-person meetups in Australia this December. If you would like more info or would like to RSVP please email info@recoveryelevator.com . On today’s episode Paul talks about incessantly thinking in the future, why we do that, what that leads to, and how to put that thinking beast back into the cage. When we are living in the future, we start to feel stress. Once we recognize, and become aware of how often we are future tripping, we can no longer ignore it and the deprograming has already begun. We deprogram first, then we reprogram. [13:45] Paul introduces Wendy. Wendy is 57 years old, married and lives in Sun City Center, Florida. She has two sons and one grandson. She works as a critical care nurse which she loves. For fun Wendy loves to be out in nature, exercise, walk, and do yoga. She also has a corgi and participates in dog shows. [21:45] Give us a background on your drinking. Wendy took her first drink at the age of 13. After her parents split up, she became her dad’s drinking buddy. She went from using food to stuff down her feelings, to using beer. This continued through her teens, twenties and into her thirties. But it was escalating and she was needing more and more to catch that buzz. [24:20] Was there a moment that you recognized it was ramping up? Wendy says she definitely knew that it was getting problematic and that she was having side effects from it. She says that although she didn’t get anything like a DUI, alcohol was taking up too much real estate in her mind. [25:55] When did you realize it was ramping up? Wendy says it was in her early 50s. She didn’t really have a rock bottom moment but says she woke up one day and said, “I am done.” She says it was almost like she flipped a switch in her head. [39:00] What techniques work for you when you are feeling anxiety? When Wendy first quit drinking she started going to a phycologist, who really helped her in the beginning. One of the things she taught her was HALT, and to never let herself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Wendy says she still follows that to this day. [42:20] How did you
Mon, December 09, 2019
RE 251: When a Spouse Quits Drinking
Torey took his last drink on October 9, 2017. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. There will be 2 in-person meetups in Australia this December. If you would like more info or would like to RSVP please email info@recoveryelevator.com . On today’s episode Paul talks about what happens when a loved one quits drinking. First off, relationships are tricky even when not exposed to addiction turmoil. It is important to remember that both parties need healing. Here is some advice for the problem drinker in the relationship; remember communication is key and ask for help. Here is some advice for the normal drinker in the relationship; first off, you can’t change the problem drinker, make sure you protect yourself and your energies, set boundaries. [13:30] Paul introduces Torey. Torey is 47 years old and lives in Bainbridge, WA and has 2 kids. He has been married since 2000. For fun Torey like fabricating and has been spending time finishing a lot of projects. He enjoys spending time with his family and going to school functions. [18:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Torey grew up in a small Wisconsin town and in high school drank on the weekends because that’s what kids did. After high school Torey continued binge drinking during his Coast Guard years. After the Coast Guard Torey went to work in the maritime field and his drinking continued. Through the mid-nineties to 2010 the daily drinking continued and progressed. [22:40] What happened when you realized there wasn’t another kind of alcohol to switch to, to feel better? Torey says his drinking was starting to be noticed and talked about. He realized that his kids had probably never seen him without a drink in his hands. When he started to hide his alcohol, he realized he might have a problem. He tried to moderate, which never worked. In 2015 things really ramped up. Torey was depressed, waking up so hungover that he was calling in sick, avoiding things at work, and the connection with his family was dwindling. [25:40] When you realized you weren’t going to be able to make yourself stop did you seek outside sources? Torey says he knew he couldn’t fix things himself and that he needed to start listening to people around him. On October 9,
Mon, December 02, 2019
RE 250: Is Sobriety all Unicorns and Rainbows?
Dee took her last drink on January 17, 2019. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. There will be 2 in-person meetups in Australia this December. If you would like more info or would like to RSVP please email info@recoveryelevator.com . On today’s episode Paul talks about PAWS, or what he refers to as ‘healing symptoms. You can find a YouTube video on these healing symptoms, or PAWS, here . This period of experiencing these healing symptoms usually lasts anywhere from 3 – 6 months, but could last a little longer. You have 2 choices. The 1st choice is to keep drinking. With this choice there will be a painful progression and whatever emotions and physical repercussions you’re experiencing now will only be enhanced in time. The 2nd choice is to quit drinking and embark on the most heroic journey. This choice gives you options, and you don’t have to decide today. [14:50] Paul introduces Dee. Dee is 50 years old and recently moved to Albuquerque, NM. She works as a purchaser for the Federal Government. For fun Dee enjoys walking, hiking, biking, and meeting up with her fellow sober peeps. [17:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Dee was first introduced to alcohol by her parents as a child during the holidays. With high school came beer. Between high school and the age of 21 Dee really didn’t do much drinking. 21 years old rolls around and Dee got really good at drinking and socializing. Alcohol seemed to fix her feelings of not being enough. Always a tomboy Dee felt the guys didn’t really take an interest in her so the alcohol helped her become more flirtatious. At the age of 25 Dee became, what she called, a pro at drinking. Dee’s dad got sick and passed, this prompted her to switch from drinking beer to hard liquor, thinking this would stop her from becoming an alcoholic. A month later Dee’s husband died. Dee says she dove into the booze at this time and continued to drink heavily for years. [23:15] Do you feel that you properly grieved? Dee says she did not, that she didn’t know how to properly grieve. Alcohol helped her get through this time in her life, when she was in so much pain she didn’t want to live. It allowed her to sleep and it allowed her to mana
Mon, November 25, 2019
RE 249: Don’t Worry About How to Quit Drinking
Lauren took her last drink on November 17, 2018. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On today’s episode Paul talks about the ‘how’, and says not to worry about the how you are going to quit drinking. Once you know the ‘why’ you want to quit drinking the how always solves itself. If you need help coming up with the why, most likely you have an encyclopedia of evidence behind you. It could be the intense emotional dips, depression, anxiety, letting yourself or those you love down. Put that why to work in your favor. [13:30] Paul introduces Lauren. Lauren is 38 years old. She lives in Sharon, Mass, and is adjunct faculty at a university in Boston in their School of Social Work. Lauren is married and has 3 children. For fun Lauren enjoys spending time outside, listening to LIVE music and hanging out with friends. [15:47] Give us a background on your drinking. Lauren says alcohol set up shop in her life while she was attending the University of Mass. In 2007 while she was finishing up her Masters in Social Work, she came across a binge drinking scale and realized that she had surpassed all female scales and was binge drinking like a man. This was the first time the Lauren felt, in her gut, that something might be wrong. Instead of listening to this bodily cue Lauren pushed it away and ignored it. In 2009 Lauren met her wife and saw a life she wanted and made some changes in terms of her drinking. [19:00] Talk to me about those changes that you made? Lauren says she just naturally toned it down a little bit. Her partner had children so they started doing more family things. In 2011 they were married. Lauren says that, at this time, her drinking was progressing and taking up more and more space in her life. In 2013 there was a hard stoop in Lauren’s drinking, during her pregnancy, and she gave birth to their daughter. Even though there was this break in her drinking things picked up right where she left off. [20:25] What happens next? Lauren is a stay at home mom and her drinking escalates. She wasn’t isolating, she joined a mom’s group, and really didn’t think she had a drinking problem because she wasn’t drinking during the day. Lauren says that she started using drinking as a reward. She was blacking out more frequently, her relationships started suffering and Lauren says that,
Mon, November 18, 2019
RE 248: Your Story
Patrick took his last drink on January 1, 2019. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! A new Café RE group will be launching January 1, 2020! Also, Recovery Elevator Meet-ups in Australia have been scheduled for December! Be sure to check the events calendar or the weekly email. Paul is currently working on a meditation course, that he hopes to have out by early next year…warning, you may just might fall in love with yourself. On today’s episode Paul talks about sharing and owning our story. This can be therapeutic, but also, if done too many times, dangerous. Why? Your story becomes your future. How do we stop this? We learn to protect us from our thoughts. When you take your energies and thoughts off your past addictions and traumas they can disappear. One way to do this is through meditation. [11:15] Paul introduces Patrick. Patrick was born and raised in Boston. He is a high school teacher and teaches religion and history. He is married and has a 6-year-old daughter. For fun Patrick likes long distance hiking, car camping and road trips. [14:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Patrick says he accepted that he was an alcoholic at the age of 18 when he entered the seminary. He got a fake ID at the age of 16 and was going into liquor stores at 16 and buying his own liquor. At the age of 18 Patrick started going to AA meetings. Patrick started drinking again, about the age of 29, and only beer. The next couple of years the beer became scotch, then vodka. After about 2 weeks of consuming vodka for 2 weeks Patrick contemplated suicide. When his baby was only 2 weeks old Patrick went to the hospital. He is 45 years old. He is checked into the hospital for 9 days to detox. A year later…picking up his 1-year chip at an AA meeting, he had already had a couple drinks before the meeting. [19:35] What happened next? Patrick and his wife decided they were going to have a baby. Wasn’t what he planned…but he started hitting the bottle hard. He started hiding bottles all over. Patrick wrapped bottles in his hospital bag to get through the birth of his child. [33:50] What was different this time? Patrick says he reached a turning point, he could stay on the couch drinking scotch and vodka and have his wife leave him, or live the life he knew he wanted. [39:45] How’d you
Mon, November 11, 2019
RE 247: Is Alcohol to Blame for Bad Behavior?
Jody took her last drink on October 20, 2015. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On today’s episode Paul shares with the listeners the many (12) steps, and team members, it takes to put a podcast episode together. And listeners…you are part of the team! Paul also covers an article he came across that talks about the relationship between alcohol and antisocial behavior is well documented. You can find a link to the article here . The question is, can we blame our bad behavior on the alcohol? The study in this article says no. Alcohol, according to the study, does not change your personality. Drunken you has the same moral compass as sober you. [10:20] Paul introduces Jody. Jody is 30 years old and lives in Orlando, Florida. She is a flight attendant and a mindset and transformation coach. Jody is not married and does not have any kids, yet. She loves to travel, read, cook, and do yoga. [13:25] Give us a background on your drinking. Jody was introduced to alcohol her freshman year of college. She found that alcohol helped her social anxiety. After graduating from college, she thought she would leave the binge drinking behind. That didn’t happen. She continued to drink and smoke and have blackouts, and this frustrated Jody. [17:15] Can you dive deeper into your frustration? She moved back home and that addiction followed her. It helped her find people that made her feel normal. Once she decided she wanted to become a flight attendant she knew she would have to stop smoking because they drug test you. So, she did, and she got the job. During this time Jody started drinking more and drinking alone. [22:40] Get us up to speed, did you try to moderate, was there a rock bottom moment? When she started drinking alone, she tried to make rules and moderate, always breaking the rules. The voice inside got really loud and she started to believe that the world would be a better place without her. She felt her problem was too big. This is when she started to listen to the Recovery Elevator podcast. She got a new therapist and at the age of 27 she identified herself as an alcoholic, a word she does not use anymore. [24:30] Tell me your thinking on not using the word alcoholic anymore? Jody feels very passionate about this…this feels i
Mon, November 04, 2019
RE 246: Oops! I Accidentally Posted That I Quit Drinking on Social Media
Wendall took his last drink on June 13, 2019. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On today’s episode Paul talks about the 5 responses you get when you tell people you don’t drink. He also discusses what you do when you accidently post on social media that you no longer drink. The 5 responses: 70% of the time you hear total support, “Wow that’s so cool, because I want you to be the best version of you.” 20% of the time the response will be that the person you told has a family member or close friend that has also quit drinking alcohol. 5% of the time you will get bombarded with questions as to why you don’t drink. 4% of the time they will be supportive but will no longer be a part of your life, drinking was the reason they were. 1% of the time they will not be supportive of your decision to ditch the booze. [22:30] Paul introduces Wendall. Wendall lives in Toronto Ontario, Canada. He is 42 years old and is a director, producer, and cinematographer of documentaries. Wendall is married and has a 6-year-old son. For fun Wendall enjoys getting out in nature. [23:35] Give us a background on your drinking. Wendall says he didn’t really start drinking until he was in university, about 1996. Up until his late 30’s he was mostly a social drinker. Things shifted then. He was working a lot, traveling a lot, was stressed. Drinking became habitual at this time; it was both a reward and a stress reliever. With added responsibilities, came anxiety. Drinking then became a coping mechanism. In 2018 Wendall realized that all the rules of moderation he had tried to put in place weren’t working. About 6 months ago binge drinking really started to rear its ugly head. He finally decided he couldn’t drink anymore. [34:00] How did it feel after you set the bottle down? It felt like every new beginning comes from some others beginnings end. [35:25] What was it like living life without alcohol the first few days and weeks? Because his drinking was habitual Wendall realized he would have to create new habits. He started listening to recovery podcasts. His first 30 days was done pretty much in solitude. Instead of having his normal evening drinks he would listen to a podcast and read a few chapters. [39:20] How long did it take for the new habits
Mon, October 28, 2019
RE 245: The Runaway Car
Jay took his last drink on Decemeber 26, 2018. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On today’s episode Paul talks about a response to a post on Reddit. Not knowing exactly what the initial post said, Paul guesses it was something about the poster wanting to ditch the booze, but not being able to. The response…” You know what, you‘re heading in the right direction to win. You want to stop. You literally cannot win without that. I’ve lost friends to booze and none of them wanted to stop. Wanting to stop provides friction. It adds resistance to drinking, which has the effect of reducing your intake. Maybe you start an hour later in the day. Maybe you drink one glass less. That helps. It makes it easier to apply more friction in the future.” The intention to stop is the most important thing. [9:44] Paul introduces Jay. Jay is 37 years old and grew up in upstate New York. He has lived in North Carolina for the last 9 years. He has a full-time sales job and a full time real-estate side hustle. He enjoys mountain biking and golf. He is married. [11:05] Give us a background on your drinking. In high school Jay had fun after the Friday night football games. In college Jay partied on Friday and Saturday nights. He was a weekend warrior during his twenties. He relocated in 2010 and started experiencing problems that he couldn’t solve. This is when alcohol really made it’s appearance. [14:40] Do you feel your sports background backfired when it came to quitting drinking? Yes. Jay says he ran into a set of problems that he could not out hustle, could not out grind. [15:30] Early thirties and anxiety is creeping up, take it from there. Rather than talking about it with the people he loved he internalized it. 2016-2018 Jay says he was a pressure cooker. He was never saying no, never setting boundaries. [17:50] Did you ever try to moderate? Around 2016 Jay recognized that alcohol was getting out of control. He would go 30-40 days AF a few times a year. After trying to fight a stranger at a party Jay knew the gig was up. He later had a conversation with his best friend and told him that he thought he had a drinking problem. Jay says that in that moment he felt a weight off his shoulders. [27:24] What did you find when you went internal? Jay learned that he’s a people p
Mon, October 21, 2019
RE 244: The Opposite of Addiction is Connection
Gracie took her last drink on September 29, 2018. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On today’s episode Paul talks about connection. Human connection is an innate need to create a social bond with others. For those that found a temporary connection with alcohol and are now trying to ditch the booze now find them facing disconnection head on. You are listening to the inner voice that isn’t craving alcohol, but is craving connection. How to connect…ask for connection every single morning. Aim for 50% to be external connections, and the other 50% internal. If a connection is built within, we can go through difficult times in life and still feel that warmth. If you address the internal connection the external connection solves itself. SHOW NOTES [14:25] Paul introduces Gracie. Gracie grew up in the Midwest and is currently living in Chicago. She is 32 years old and is a nurse. Gracie loves camping, backpacking, traveling abroad doing medical trips, and has recently gotten into rock and minerals. She lives with her boyfriend, who is 4 years sober. [22:55] Give us a background on your drinking. Gracie didn’t start drinking until she was 19 years old and off at college. Her drinking didn’t get bad until age 21/22 when she was in the Peace Corp and was partying hard with the other volunteers. In her mid-twenties she was binge drinking on the weekends and coming home and drinking by herself. She was experiencing a lot of loneliness and anxiety at the time, so would drink. By Gracie’s late 20s she was drinking most nights and having blackouts. Gracie says she had a lot of ‘soft bottoms’ and it wasn’t until she was about 28 years old that it occurred to her that she needed to stop drinking. It was at this time that Gracie was starting to read self-help books and was interested in spiritual growth. As she started getting into medication retreats and plant medicine, she says she kept getting the message, from her heart, that her drinking was holding her back. [37:45] How did it feel when you started to feel your feelings? Gracie says she was afraid in the beginning, that she was even afraid to feel a feeling coming on. She says meditation helped her let the feelings come and pass. Gracie says it took months for her to learn to trust that a feeling wouldn’t swallow her whole. [41:45] Was there a rock bottom before you quit
Mon, October 14, 2019
RE 243: Hope is the Problem
Patty took her last drink on July 19, 2017. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On today’s episode Paul talks about the two main sources of unhappiness and how hope is sending us barreling off a cliff. On the surface hope is great. But where is it located on a timeline? In the future, not in the now. If hope isn’t serving us, then what? Throttle back on the hope and lean into ‘this moment’. SHOW NOTES [12:00] Paul introduces Patty. Patty is 665 years old and is originally from Fairbanks, AK. She currently lives in Corvallis, OR. Patty has 3 children in their forties and 7 grandkids. She worked at a university for 30 years and is now retired. For fun Patty likes to hike, kayak, and sailing. [13:55] Give us a background on your drinking. Patty says she was 14 years od the first time she got drunk, and that she was a black-out drinker her very first time. It wasn’t until she was in her 30’s that she felt she may have a problem; it was then she started to drink at home alone. When Patty was in her forties, she started to attempt to give up alcohol. She would go a couple days up to 11 months, and that went on for about 15 years. [18:15] Was there a moment that it got scary for you? In early 2017 she drove home drunk from the airport and realized the next morning how dangerous that was. She says it scared her, that she could have killed someone, or herself. [20:50] How did you do it those first couple weeks? Patty said she had a different mindset this time. This time her mindset was one of, ‘I don’t have to do this (drink) anymore’, rather than, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ [26:00] What are some improvements in life that you have experienced in a life without alcohol? Patty says she used to make a lot of plans and then not follow through with them, she doesn’t do that anymore. She has signed up to get her pilot’s license, something that she has always wanted to do. Going to the RE Bozeman retreat. She has been a lot more physically active, instead of talking about walking the dog, she just gets up and goes. [30:25] What is something that you’ve had to go through in the last 2 years that you didn’t expect? Patty’s mom died 3 months ago and drinking didn’t even seem like an option. It was a real tough time, losing her mom and with family drama, b
Mon, October 07, 2019
RE 242: When to Tackle the Next Addiction
Kelly took her last drink on October 27, 2017. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On today’s episode Paul talks about his idea of opening an in person, wellness retreat center in Costa Rica. And while he has been working to create space for this idea and concept, and believes that the body is on board, there is still some discomfort getting out of his comfort zone. The fact is, we all have rough days, including Paul. He says it’s important to give the body permission to feel the feelings, and also to give the body permission to allow them to go. If this retreat center is something you’d be interested in attending email Paul at info@recoveryelevator.com . Paul also addresses the question of, when do you know it’s a good time, after quitting alcohol, to start tackling other substances, behaviors, thought patterns, etc.? Paul’s advice is to go slow and to be patient, your body will know when it is time. SHOW NOTES [15:15] Paul introduces Kelly. Kelly is 54 years old. She is married and has 2 adult children. Kelly is a full-time social worker at a hospital, and she speaks Spanish. For fun Kelly would like to get back into collecting vintage clothing. She likes to read and is looking forward to getting into outdoor activities. [19:30] Give us a background on your drinking. Kelly started drinking in 9th grade, just your average high school drinker. By her 2nd year of high school she feels she was drinking more regularly. She didn’t think she has a problem with alcohol because she wasn’t like her father. In 1987 she moved, thinking that that would fix any drinking issues she had. [31:05] What happened right before you quit drinking? There were a lot of stresses going on. She was constantly afraid of being pulled over to started to us LYFT. There was a lot of risk taking. She started buying bigger bottles. Her son started to go to meetings for his own addictions. One nigh he told Kelly he didn’t feel it was safe for him to live at home, because of her drinking. That was the last night she drank. [39:15] Talk to us about how you are embracing AA and the other side? For the first 18 months Kelly was only doing AA. But she was also reading a ton of books by/or about women alcoholics. She says the AA meeting have been helpful but that sh
Mon, September 30, 2019
RE 241: Life Synergies
Dan took his last drink on July 28, 2018. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here ! You can get the Audible version here ! On today’s episode Paul talks about how we need to read his book, and others like it, with pride. We have to shred the shame and ditch the stigma. He shares a letter he received from someone that attended the Recovery Elevator Retreat in Bozeman recently, and as she was reading Alcohol is Sh!t on the plane the lady sitting next to her asked about the book. And she was able to share. Turned out the lady was on her way to help her daughter who had relapsed and needed to hear everything she had to say. SHOW NOTES [10:10] Paul introduces Dan. Dan is a father of 3, has a daughter in college and the youngest is 14. He works as a retail executive. He lives in New York and enjoys cycling. [12:45] Give us a background on your drinking. Dan says he started drinking in high school and drank all through college. He says that drinking is a big part of the business world and he fell right into that. He didn’t realize he had an issue, but his wife did. He said he was drinking 5-6 drinks a night. [15:35] Talk to us about how you asked yourself, “how can I quit?”. Dan says he called a hypnotist to get some help, but after his initial call to her he never followed up. About a month later, on July 29, 2018, he was in a bad bicycle accident. His doctors took great care of him and he hasn’t had a drink since. [18:10] What happened after the accident? He had a bad brain injury so was told that he should not drink, if he did, he could have a seizure or a stroke. After 10 days Dan came home from the hospital only to find out that his wife had removed all the alcohol from the house. Dan says that was like being asleep and thrown into an ice-cold pool. His brother told him he needed to go to AA so he walked into one only to feel like he didn’t belong. He left that meeting angry and determined to show everyone wrong. [24:05] How are you feeling now? Dan says it’s a little bit of ‘he’s going to show them (his friends and family)’ and it’s a little bit of he likes the way he feels and he looks. [26:47] You were told by your doctor not to drink for a year, because of the chance for a stroke…did you ever have the thought when that year was up to pick up a drink? Dan says no, in fact he went to the confer
Mon, September 23, 2019
RE 240: How do I Make it Stop?
Rose took her last drink on March 12, 2019. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your copy on Amazon here ! On today’s episode Paul talks about Recovery Elevator Bozeman Retreat that took place this past August. One of the speakers at the retreat was a spiritual teacher that Paul has worked with, Elaine Huang, you can find out more about her here . And a BIG thank you to the sponsors of the retreat. Nutzo , an organic 7-nut seed butter, that provided a jar of said butter to everyone that attended! Rise Brewing Co ., provided Nitro Cold Brewed Coffee! Fire Brew , an apple cider-based health tonic, provided shots for everyone! And tajín , a seasoning blend of lime, chili peppers and sea salt, provided a bottle of zing for all! The cool thing is that these sponsors wanted to be a part of this event. Thank you to Odette who worked hard in setting it all up! SHOW NOTES [22:20] Paul introduces Rose. Rose is 37 years old. She is from New Zealand but is currently living in France. Rose is a physiotherapist by trade, but her degree is not recognized yet in France so she is teaching English. She is a newlywed and they have a 3-year-old son. For fun Rose likes to cook, sing, be outdoors, and go to gigs. [25:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Rose started drinking as a teenager. She says she grew up in a loving family but that everyone was a boozer, that it was normal. At 18 she went off to university but dropped out after 2 years because it was getting in the way of her drinking. She moved cities in search of new drinking friends and for the next 5 years was in an abusive relationship. Rose says she spent a good chunk of her 20’s getting out of, and recovering from, that relationship. Rose then spent time on a friend’s large sailing boat and sailed to Fiji, continuing her drinking. She then went home and started studying to become a physiotherapist. Rose says she slowed her drinking down while she was studying. [28:25] What happens next? Rose got her degree, got a great job in a hospital where she wanted to work. In 2016 she had her son. She says after the birth of her son she fell into the ‘mommy drinking’ culture. Rose also started to feel like an imposter. Promoting health at work but doing the very opposite personally. [32:20] Was there anything in particular that led you to ditch the booze? Rose says a big part of i
Mon, September 16, 2019
RE 239: This Has to be Fun
Dan took his last drink 370 days ago. This is his story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book is out! Pick up your copy on Amazon here ! On today’s episode Paul talks about how this journey into a new life without alcohol can be fun. In fact, he says, it must be fun. If you’re not having fun right now that is ok, you are not doing anything wrong. Recovering your true self, a life filled with inner joy and abundance, can only be done with love. You can’t fight darkness with darkness. Here are some strategies to invite love into your life…stop comparing yourself to others, get off social media, tell yourself ‘I love you’, listen to your body, put on headphones and dance. SHOW NOTES [9:30] Paul introduces Dan. Dan celebrated 1 year of sobriety on July 28, 2019. He is 37 years old and lives in Cottage Grove, MN. He is a teacher and teaches middle school math. He has 5-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, and a 10-year-old daughter. Dan is married and they just celebrated 13 years. For fun Dan likes to exercise and hike. [16:20] Give us a background on your drinking. Dan had his first drink in high school and bartended through college. He says his drinking just carried over into what he calls ‘his adult life’ and it just stuck with him. He wasn’t a binge drinker; it was more of cracking a couple beers open every night after work. Dan started to become depressed, getting anxious if he couldn’t drink his beers each night. He says he had some suicidal thoughts. [20:45] What did that depression feel like? Dan got to the point where he was finding no joy in anything, including alcohol, his job or his family. He confided in a friend about his depression and that was the start of his journey into sobriety. When he confided in his wife, he felt that he was surrendering and ready to get help. [24:00] When did you tell your wife and what happened after that? Dan says he made the commitment to stop drinking last summer and told his wife after about a week in. Dan says his wife overheard him listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast and that was the beginning of their conversation about his drinking and depression. [26:35] Talk to us about the 1st week, the 1st month. Dan made a doctor’s appointment a couple weeks in to talk about his depression and was prescribed anti-depressants/antianxiety medication. He was worried about how he would feel once taking the medication but says it has really helped him. Dan listened to the RE podcasts daily and would reach out to his wife when he was struggling at all. He also told his oldest daughter that he was quitting drinking alcohol.
Mon, September 09, 2019
RE 238: Ditch the Only
Brandi took her last drink on July 17, 2019. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book was released 2 days ago! Pick up your copy on Amazon here ! On today’s episode Paul talks about one of his pet peeves…the word “ONLY”. For example, when someone says they have ‘only’ been sober for 3 days, 10 days, 2 weeks, etc.… We need to change this way of thinking, any amount of time away from alcohol is a major win. The word ‘only’ equals limited, represents a lack of, and we want to be careful with this idea and energetic vibrations that encompass the word. SHOW NOTES [9:30] Paul introduces Brandi. Brandi is from Franklin, TN. She is 48 years old and works in healthcare. She has a 12-year-old daughter and for fun Brandi likes to make her own greeting cards, write poetry, and ride horses. [14:50] Give us a background on your drinking. Brandi says she drank some in high school and college, but that she didn’t really enjoy it. She says it wasn’t until she was 33-34 years old that she started to see alcohol as a problem. In 2012 she started to notice how alcohol was impacting her life, her physical wellbeing, her job, and the people around her. 2 years ago, she was drinking about 2 bottles of wine a night, every day. [23:00] Where do you think your self-loathing came from? Brandi says it came from a lot of things; missed moments with her daughter; lost time; missed conversations. [33:30] Tell us how the last 2 weeks have been? Brandi says they have been good. She felt a little of the pink cloud. She’s been trying to do things differently, like getting up earlier. She started a morning routine that includes her affirmation books. [39:00] What’s your plan moving forward? Brandi says she is going to be better at reaching out to people. She plans on getting back to some meetings that she has gone to in the past. Getting back to her morning routine. She wants to slowly get back to the things she enjoys doing for fun. Brandi says a big one for her is stepping outside her comfort zone. [40:40] Rapid Fire Round What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve found on this journey? How many times have I thrown wine glasses away. What is a memorable moment that sobriety has given you? Sitting with my daughter, watching Disney movies, just being goofy and she put on Elton John and we just started dancing. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink? Unfortunately, it’s Diet Dr. Pepper, but lemonade takes a close 2nd. <ol
Mon, September 02, 2019
RE 237: Celebrities Who Ditched the Booze
Aisha took her last drink on July 28, 2017. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! The book comes out in 5 days! This is also Paul’s 5-year alcohol free date! Pick up your copy on Amazon September 7, 2019! On today’s episode Paul talks about celebrities that have ditched the booze and why this group of the population is affected by addiction way more than the average population. SHOW NOTES [9:30] Paul introduces Aisha. Aisha is 42 years old and lives in Atlanta, GA. She is a lawyer, married and has a 10-year-old. Aisha enjoys reading recovery/addiction memoirs along with fiction. [14:50] Give us a background on your drinking. Aisha says that a big part of why she drank was that she was trying to fit in. Both of Aisha’s parents were alcoholics. She is African-American and Hispanic and was raised in rural America where she didn’t see a lot of people that looked like her. Aisha didn’t really start drinking until she started law school and she started drinking alcoholically after she started practicing law. There were a few months when she had the FBI watching her house because of a threat she had received, during those months she was so scared that she was drinking every day. Because of her experience with alcoholics in her family she knew where her drinking was going, and she knew she needed to quit. [22:34] Did you have a rock bottom moment? Aisha says her bottom was when she “missed the toilet”, literally. She knew she needed help then, but didn’t stop drinking at that time. She did however go to an AA meeting. [26:15] Tell us more about your AA experience. Aisha says when she went to AA, she was legitimately looking for help. After listening to the speaker share, she felt like she could not relate. She didn’t let that stop her from going back, but after some condescending comments at another AA meeting she went back to drinking. [28:15] What do you think finally pushed you over the edge to start logging in the time? Aisha didn’t let the bad experiences she had had at AA stop her from trying other meetings. She went to a lot of meetings and finally found one that she felt loved and welcomed at. [40:55] How has the wanting to fit in changed since getting sober? Aisha says she is much more purposeful. She is much more focused on the whys of doing things. She is also much more open to feed back from others. [46:30] In the last 2 years have you had a difficult moment where you thought you were going to drink and how’d you get through it? Aisha says she has not, and she know she is very fortunate. She says that the smell of alcohol disgusts her now. She has, however, had moments of fomo and has wished she could drink with friends at
Mon, August 26, 2019
RE 236: There is Always a Plan B
Sarah took her last drink on June 13, 2019. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! Pick up your copy on Amazon September 7, 2019! On today’s episode Paul talks about how there is always a ‘plan B’. Plan A…aka the way we want life to work out, the way we hoped things were going to work, actually work out 0% of the time. Everyone has these hiccups. The fact that you are listening to this podcast means you are already into plan B. Most people that have a goal to move into an alcohol-free life have a plan A, which looks something like this…quit drinking and never look back. It doesn’t matter how many plans you have because we now have hundreds of plans to chose from. You don’t have to go out looking for your plan, schedule some down time and let the plan come to you. SHOW NOTES [8:33] Paul introduces Sarah. Sarah is 44 years old and is from Vancouver, WA. She is engaged to be married and has no kids. Sarah is a chiropractor. For fun Sarah loves anything that has to do with health, she loves to exercise and go on long walks with her fiancé. [10:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Sarah had her first drink when she was 12 years old. She didn’t drink heavily from that point on but her drinking really escalated when she started working in the restaurant business while attending the University of Texas. She was 22 years old at this time. At the age of 17 Sarah got a DWUI. From the age of 22 her drinking got worse. When she was 30 years old, she found herself calling in sick to work because she was hungover. [12:00] So you decided to have a change of location and profession? Sarah says it was one of the best decisions she made, but that looking back it was her thinking that she needed to get out of her current environment. She started chiropractic school and took her drinking right along with her. Her drinking continued to escalate and she ended up missing a really significant clinical entrance exam. She drank too much the night before and slept through it. She wasn’t allowed to take a makeup exam and had to wait to take the exam. This is when she first tried AA. [13:15] What were your initial thoughts about AA? Initially it was awesome. Sarah still has some really great feelings about AA. She says she’ll never forget when she walked into her very first meeting and a man telling her she never had to drink again. Sarah says that was a lightbulb moment for her. [14:00] Bring us up to speed from 32 years old to 44. Sarah had on and off sobriety attempts during that time, ranging from 6 months to 2 years. And she says that, of course, her life always got better. She was questioning if she was an alcoholic because she could stop at a couple drinks, sometimes
Mon, August 19, 2019
RE 235: What is Spontaneous Sobriety?
Joy took her last drink on July 12, 2014. This is her story. Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book! Launch date, September 7, 2019, is less than a month away! On today’s episode Paul talks about the phrase ‘spontaneous sobriety’. What is it? What does it mean? Spontaneous sobriety means quitting drinking without any formal treatment such as rehab, inpatient treatment, or out-patient treatment. 12-step programs are not formal treatment due to the fact you can go when you want, work with, or without, a sponsor, and there is not a formal way to work the steps. The majority of people get sober without formal help. According to the NESARC about 50% of all people that recovered from alcohol dependence did so completely on their own. So how does one spontaneously ditch the booze? The listen to their body, read books, listen to podcasts, attend 12-step meetings, read blogs, talk to their therapist, join online recovery groups (like CaféRE), etc.… You talk about it; you burn the ships. SHOW NOTES [10:40] Paul introduces Joy. Joy was born and raised in the suburbs of southeast Michigan and she moved to Connecticut about 15 years ago. She is 42 years old, has been married for almost 15 years, and has 2 sons. For work Joy is a holistic nurse practitioner, sober and grey area drinking coach, and a dance teacher. She enjoys dancing, yoga, being outside, and reading. [17:40] Give us a background on your drinking. Joy started drinking pretty regularly in her teenage years. There was drinking in her household so it felt like the natural thing to do. During high school there were binging and blackout moments. Before college she had a rock-climbing accident, where alcohol was involved, which resulted in her having to change her direction in college from dance to healthcare. She continued to drink heavily in college and got a DUI when she was 20. [18:35] Whne you got that DUI was there a concern? Joy says it was a terrifying experience. She had to spend the night in jail, in a very big correctional facility. After the DUI Joy felt like she could still continue to drink, she just needed to be smarter about it, like not drive. In her 30s it became more apparent that her drinking was a problem. There was more morning after conversations with her husband. She tried moderating, only drinking on the weekends, but was unsuccessful. [19:50] You mentioned that your husband commented that your drinking doesn’t make sense, can you explain that? She says here she was, done with graduate school to be a nurse practitioner, she was a yoga teacher and really holistically health minded, but at the same time drinking heavily. She also would smoke cigarettes when she drank. It was like the two Joys didn’t compute. There was the highly functioning Joy going to her job at
Mon, August 12, 2019
RE 234: The Scientist
Tiffany took her last drink on July 14, 2018. This is her story. On today’s episode Paul talks about the DUIs he didn’t get. For those of you that may not know what a DUI is…it is Driving Under the Influence, with a BAC that is higher than .08. Those missed DUIs, going all the way back to one in 2006, in which he was following behind a friend that was drunk behind the wheel, rolled his vehicle and passed away with a BAC of .33…were a contributing factor in Paul telling himself he didn’t have a drinking problem. He told himself he didn’t have a drinking problem because he didn’t have any DUIs. Paul has said, ‘the only line you can cross, but cannot come back from, is death’. He hopes that Adrian’s story can help save the life of someone listening to this podcast. SHOW NOTES [16:05] Paul introduces Tiffany. Tiffany is originally from Connecticut but has been in Maryland for the last 10 years. She is a property manager and a licensed captain. She is 35 years old, single and has no kids. She enjoys hiking and recently has discovered she likes to macramé, and has been doing a lot of that. DIY crafts and projects around her house bring her joy. [18:15] Give us a background on your drinking. Tiffany started dinking when she was in 7th grade. Drinking was the not the norm for her family or in her household growing up. It wasn’t until she was in junior high and spending more time at friends’ houses that she was exposed to drinking being the norm. Jr. high and high school was a lot of binge drinking on weekends. Towards the end of high school Tiffany was more interested in being at work, she was working at a horse farm, and partying with her friends than being at school. Work and partying became her priority and school was at the bottom of the totem pole. She says she was a big pothead and felt that she could take, or leave, alcohol. [20:50] When did you reach the moment when you couldn’t take it, or leave it? In 2006, when Tiffany was 21, she left everything behind and moved to New Zealand to work on a schooner. She says that is when the switch happened. Wine was everywhere. She started to think of drinking as a reward for having a hard day, rather than just something she would binge on. [22:45] Talk to us about the years between 21 and 34. While on the schooner they went through a bad hurricane during a voyage. Tiffany says it was terrifying, and it was at that time her drinking shifted from drinking as a reward for a hard day, to drinking to get out of her head. She says she came home from that experience different, and that it is still something she is working through. It was at this time she was drinking to not feel her feelings, and she started to isolate rather than drink socially. In 2007 she moved to Baltimore and moved in to a neighborhood that
Mon, August 05, 2019
RE 233: It’s Okay to Struggle
Daz took his last drink on November 5, 2018. This is his story. This coming January Recovery Elevator is going to Thailand and Cambodia for 12 days. Space is limited. You can find more information about this event here On today’s episode Paul discuses the double negative, not failing. If you find yourself struggling to say no, to picking up a drink, you are not failing. If you are not failing you are succeeding, accomplishing, flourishing, overcoming, conquering, thriving, winning, realizing your goal to become alcohol free. Think about an accomplishment in your life that you are proud of. Did that come without a struggle? Most likely it did. That struggle did not represent failure. Growth is a big part of that struggle. SHOW NOTES [10:30] Paul introduces Daz. Daz is 43 years old, has been married for 5 years, and has 2 beautiful little girls. He is from Vancouver Island and has lived in Vancouver for the last 17 years. For fun Daz plays guitar, writes and records a lot of music, and his latest addiction is knowledge in recovery. [13:31] Give us a background on your drinking. When Daz was 13 he had his first drink, and first drunk. At the age of 15 he was introduced to smoking pot which very quickly became a daily thing. An honor roll student until his senior year of high school, when other drugs were introduced, and things really started to nosedive. Daz didn’t start drinking regularly until he was 19. It then quickly became a daily thing, helping him come out of his shell and be more social. It became a staple that stuck with him through his 20s. Daz hit his rock bottom on April 20, 2005. He had gone through a really dysfunctional relationship and his life had completely veered off the path that he had expected. He was ready to throw in the towel on life. Daz called his parents at 2AM and told them he didn’t know what to do, that he thought he wanted to just go and finish it off. His parents got him to come home and that was his first attempt to get sober. It lasted a couple weeks, through the Christmas holidays, and he attended his first AA meetings while there. When he got back to Vancouver things went back to the way they had been for about another year. He was struggling to get by, working in bars and drinking on the job. Found himself in legal trouble and soon couldn’t pay his rent. Daz says he was one step away from living on the street. [19:00] That was early 2007, bridge the gap for us. Daz entered a 2-month treatment center and says that was the beginning of him starting to stand up and dust himself off. It gave him time to think about what he was going to do with his life. He worked in the fitness industry for a couple years. He started to slide back into drinking but had enough of a foundation at this time, and had left some o
Mon, July 29, 2019
RE 232: What is Sober Curious?
Arlina took her last drink on April 22, 1994 and has been alcohol free for 25 years. This is her story. On today’s episode Paul discuses an article that a listener sent him regarding the term, ‘sober curious’. This article was published in the New York Times and can be found here . What is sober curious? The term is pretty straight forward, it refers to those that are curious about exploring a life without alcohol. But it can be unpacked even more. To some, sober curious may mean that they never had a drinking problem, but they had a problem drinking. In the article the author describes the sober curious as young professionals that are kind of, just a little bit, addicted to booze. Paul feels that that bulk of this demographic of sober curious people are what would be referred to as high bottom drunks. They are beginning to experience consequences from their drinking and they are becoming curious to what a life without alcohol would look like. SHOW NOTES [9:30] Paul introduces Arlina. Arlina is 50 years old and had her last drink on her 25th birthday. She grew up in Silicon Valley. She is married and has 2 sons. Arlina has a podcast, enjoys yoga, hiking and going for walks. She is soon to be the owner of a bulldog puppy. [15:05] Give us a background on your drinking. Arlina says she feels her drinking was garden variety. She started drinking at a young age, between 8-10 years old, and says she didn’t realize how bad she felt until she felt good from drinking. She says from her first drink to her last she wanted to be anybody but herself. [19:00] Was there a rock bottom moment that led up to you having your last drink on your 25th birthday? Arlina says she had a series of rock-bottom moments. She never knew what emotion to expect when she would drink, she would either be crying or fighting. Even after a night out with her sister, in which Arlina got drunk, punched her windshield a couple times, breaking it, kicked her sister (who was driving) in the face, her sister getting help from the neighbors, the police being called, and waking up with that incomprehensible demoralization, it took hearing that her sister had gone to Al-anon for her to connect her drinking with alcoholism. Arlina wrestled with that thought for 2 years. [23:20] Talk to us about when you finally reached that conclusion. Arlina says it was a very humbling experience because she had defined alcoholism as something so negative. Hating who she was anyway and then adding alcoholic and drug addict to it was overwhelming. What had been her solution had become her executioner. [25:55] What was it like in early sobriety? Arlina says it was overwhelming, but that she was relieved of the obsession to consume alcohol the day after her birthday. She discovered she was kind of
Mon, July 22, 2019
RE 231: Control
Odette, took her last drink on December 17, 2018. This is her story. On today’s episode Paul talks about control and how it relates to the level of an addiction. The more our drinking gets out of control the more we try and control our external environments. This is the main driver why control is such an important concept to deepen with so we can become aware of the level of control we placing on the external environment. We are left with 2 choices. Option 1 is to do nothing, and that is not what this podcast is about. That leaves us with option 2. Get ready to saddle up. Once an addiction is been acknowledged it can no longer be ignored, and it cannot be addressed without making major life changes. Changes like a new self-image, your perception, a new consciousness, your ideas and beliefs, your entire life’s foundations. That’s a lot of change, and as humans we resist change. SHOW NOTES [8:10] Paul introduces Odette. Paul first chatted with Odette on episode 128, which came out on July 31st 2017, when she had 1 week of sobriety, he encourages you to go back and listen to that episode. Today, Odette hit a big milestone…she has 6 months of sobriety. Odette is originally from Guadalajara, Mexico, but has been living in San Diego for almost 10 years. She is married and a mom to 2 toddlers, Max and Sienna. She works fulltime at WeWork. Odette loves bowling for fun, says it's probably her favorite thing, and she will fight anyone who says that it's not a sport. She also loves to try new teas and lately you will find her doing puzzles. [11:50] Give us a background on your drinking. Odette says she’s been in the recovery world for a decade. Her dad is a recovering alcoholic and he's about to hit his 10 year, so she was first exposed to recovery through him. She likes to say that his addiction has become the biggest gift, not just to herself, but to her entire family. Odette also developed an eating disorder, which she says is her first addiction, if it has to be labeled. Odette says that although she’s been in the recovery world for a while, in terms of drinking, she thinks she falls into the ‘gray area drinker’ category. She doesn’t have a catastrophic story to tell in terms of her relationship with alcohol. Because of this it’s been a real journey for Odette to figure out if she really belonged here or if she didn’t belong here, if she really had a problem with drinking. What really changed things for Odette was something that she keeps telling people. You don't have to have a serious drinking problem to have a problem with drinking, and she definitely knew that she had a problem with drinking. [16:05] In regards to alcohol and your eating disorder, what is your thoughts on addiction whack-a-mole? Odette thinks addiction whack-a-mole is a thing and that it is really important that we become ambassadors of being graceful to ourselves. The addictio
Mon, July 15, 2019
RE 230: Calming the Mind
Mark, took his last drink on April 19th, 2019 - This is his story. On today’s episode Paul shares the status on his upcoming book release! Alcohol is Sh!t should be launched the end of July – to mid-August. Graphics for the front cover, the back, and the eBook are done. Thanks to everyone that voted on the tagline and subtitles…this is what we came up with; How to ditch the booze. Reignite your life. Recover the person you were always meant to be. Paul also talks about calming the mind through meditation. The word meditation comes from the word meditacioun, which means to ponder, and it has been around for a very long time. What is meditation? Meditation is about letting thoughts go. It is about loosening the energetic ties to the past and the future. It is about being present and focusing on what is, the reality you are currently witnessing. Meditation is about lowering brain waves to a more relaxed state. Meditation is a skill and it takes practice. What meditation is not. Meditation isn’t not thinking. It isn’t about obtaining or getting anything, or discovering who you are. It is not going into a trance. Meditation isn’t selfish, it all starts from the inside out. 😉 SHOW NOTES [15:50] Paul introduces Mark. Mark lives in Perth, Australia, which is one of the most remote cities in the world. For work he is a financial professional. He is 43 years old, married with 2 daughters. For fun Mark likes to camp, exercise and read. [18:45] Give us a background on your drinking. Mark started drinking in his teens and he says he pretty much to a liking to it right away. It made him feel like a different person and got him out of his shell. In his early 20s he went to college and continued drinking there. There was about 3-4 years during his 20s that he got really serious about running and would quit drinking for 49 weeks a year while he was training. Mark says that once he stopped taking his running so serious, stopped the training, and got a job that there was a turning point and his drinking started to creep up to just about every day. Mark was in his 30s now. In 2017, at the age of 41, Mark had his real first attempt at sobriety. [20:50] Was there a rock bottom moment in 2017 that propelled your attempt at sobriety? There wasn’t a rock bottom moment for Mark, he says it was more like a series of bad nights. He started to realize that his drinking was involuntary and he felt like it was something that was just happening to him. After one night in particular where he drank 2 bottles of wine and getting to work late feeling horrendous, he decided he had just had enough. After doing some googling on cutting back and found a website called Hello Sunday Morning, where people posted about cutting back. The website encouraged doing a 3 to 12-month time of no drinking. Mark decided to try the 3 months and after successfully
Mon, July 08, 2019
RE 229: Alcohol Has Been Ruined For Me
Melissa, with a sobriety date of October 29, 2018, shares her story. Paul shares one of his favorite emails. Dale from Pittsburgh says…Paul, you son of a bitch. You have completely ruined alcohol for me. Your experience with alcohol may no longer be the same after listening to the podcast! Don’t worry about the how…that always solves itself. SHOW NOTES [11:00] Paul introduces Melissa. Melissa says that sobriety is the most badass gift she has given herself. The biggest milestone. She is from Vancouver Canada. She is 44 years old and has a 12-year-old son and a 1-year old rescue dog. Melissa has been a business owner for the last 5 years. For fun she likes to walk in the forest. [16:20] What is something you want to try out in sobriety? Scuba diving! [17:30] Give us a background on your drinking. Melissa had her first drink when she was 15. She got drunk the first time she drank and the kids at school thought she was cool. Her parents got divorced when she was 16 and she took the roll of mom to her younger siblings. In high school she started dating guys that were older and was going to night clubs. When she graduated high school, and turned 18, she started bartending. In 1998 she moved to the Cayman Islands and lived there for 5 years. She drank a lot and her drinking progressed. When she was 27 years old, she moved back home. She got married and they had a son. As she got older, she started to become verbally abusive when she drank. That’s when the blackouts started to happen. January 2010 they separate, her son is 3 years old at the time. A few months later, while she is volunteering a police officer approaches her and takes her back to her house. Once she is home she finds out that her brother hit a tree while snowboarding and died. [29:50] bring us up to speed to your sobriety date. 2011…she gets together with a new man. He was an enabler and he let her drink the way she wanted to drink. On October 29th, after begging him to give her another chance, she walked into an AA meeting. [35:40] What was that first meeting like? Melissa says she was a mess. Two old-timers took her under their wings and she will never forget them. She went to meetings every single day for the first month. [36:35] What did it mean to surrender? Melissa realized that she was powerless. The mental obsession was too much and she gave up. [46:42] What have you learned about yourself? The most important thing Melissa has learned about herself is that she has so much to give. [47:28] Rapid Fire Round Worst memory from drinking? Waking up in the middle of the floor and not know what I drank. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Definitely the podcast and AA. In regards to sobriety what’s the best advice y
Mon, July 01, 2019
RE 228: Only in My Darkness Did I see My Light
Sara, with a sobriety date of January 16, 2019, shares her story. On today’s episode Paul shares an internet meme that he saw and loved… “Only in my pain, did I find my will. Only in my chaos, did I learn to be still. Only in my fear, did I find my might. Only in my darkness, did I see my light.” Starting to see a theme, Paul added a few lines… Only through my self-loathing was I able to love myself. Only through my fears was I able to see how little it has ever served me. Only through guilt was I able to see that all humans make mistakes, and I’m human. Only through shame did I realize I don’t owe anyone in life an explanation, ever again. Only through my failures was I able to see what I was doing wrong and then make the necessary corrections. Only through blacking out was I able to recognize the misery with living without light. Only with a crushing headache after a heavy night of drinking was I able to appreciate a clear mind. Only through my addiction was I able to see the path that I didn’t want to take and clearly see that path that I did want to take. The trend we are seeing here is called ‘the backward law’. It when we experience the suffering before we experience the bliss on the other side. This is also Newton’s first law of motion. If you ignore the nudge to quit drinking it will quickly become an elbow to the shoulder, a kick to the groin, then a full Andre the Giant body slam. SHOW NOTES [10:00] Paul introduces Sara. Sara with a sobriety date of January 16, 2019, has been sober for 4 months, 22 days. She is from Melbourne, Australia. She is 36 years old. Sara is single and is studying counseling and coaching. She loves to read nonfiction books on human behavior, phycology, self-development, and relationships. [13:00] Give us a background on your drinking. Sara started drinking at the age of 13. She says from the beginning she couldn’t moderate and that alcohol gave her a sense of belonging. Over the years she found herself gravitating towards friendships with people that liked to drink. All her friends liked to party but she had a vague feeling that wasn’t a healthy way to live. [14:31] When did you first have the notion that it wasn’t a healthy way to live? Sara says it was a long time before she realized it wasn’t a healthy way to live but she did know was that the repercussions from her drinking were terrible straight off the bat. Every time Sara drank, she would do something she was ashamed of. She never had an off switch and never had a time when she was a ‘normal’ drinker. [15:25] Talk to us about your 20s. By the time she was 17 Sara had a calendar on the wall and was ticking off days that she didn’t drink. She could only get 2 days straight and found it frustrating why she
Mon, June 24, 2019
RE 227: 8 Things to Remember When Going Through Tough Times
Chris, with a sobriety date of February 12, 2019, shares his story. On today’s episode Paul shares 8 strategies that you can implement when you are going through hard times. Everything can, and will, change. You’ve overcome challenges before. Recognize this life situation as a learning experience, AKA an opportunity. You may not be getting what you want, but you are getting what you need. Lighten up, do not take yourself to seriously. You can self-medicate with kindness to yourself. Don’t make it worse by taking on other people’s tough times. There is always something to be happy for. SHOW NOTES: [13:40] Paul introduces Chris. Chris has been sober since February 12, 2019 and is 35 years old. He is a technology trainer for a finance company. He is divorced and has three boys, ages 15, 10 and 7. For fun Chris likes to sing and play guitar in a band, he also does improv and stand up comedy. Since getting sober he is exercising a lot. [14:20] When did you start drinking? He had his first drink, tequila he had stole from his parents, at the age of 11. He was in an AOL chat room at the time and he says it gave him liquid courage to chat freely, and he was hooked. [16:20] Give us a more background about your drinking. Chris’s drinking didn’t really get going until his sophomore year of high school. It ramped up quickly and he was experiencing black outs by his junior year. Chris also got his 1st, of 3, DUIs his junior year of high school. He started losing friends and girlfriends because of his drinking and by his senior year he was trying to get sober. He started college after high school and got his 2nd DUI at 19 years old. His first son was also born when Chris was 19. For the majority of his 20’s he replaced his drinking with marijuana. He married the mother of his son and they had two more. In 2013 they got divorced. Chris’s pot smoking was a big part of why they got divorced. After his divorce he went back to drinking. Within a month, at the age of 29, Chris got his 3rd DUI. [25:58] Was there some sobriety time between 2013 and February 2019? He had some forced sobriety time due to being on probation from his 3rd DUI. When all his legal issues were over in 2015, he went back to smoking pot and drinking, and he added taking Adderall into the mix. On February 11th he went to a family member and told them that he was taking Adderall and not as prescribed. He wanted help. The first 3 days of his sobriety he stayed with family. He also called the doctor that prescribed the Adderall and “burnt the ships”. [33:55] What was your first month off the substances like? It took him a few days to get his sleep schedule back to normal, but Chris says he had so much fun that the first weekend he spent with his boys off of all substances. He started to flip
Mon, June 17, 2019
RE 226: Americans Are Drinking Less Alcohol
Tim, with 2 days of sobriety, shares his story. On today’s episode Paul talks about 2 articles that discuss alcohol use. Links for these articles can be found following the show notes. The first article, published on May 7, 2019 in USA Today, says that alcohol use is soaring worldwide, with the average adult now consuming about 1.7 gallons of pure alcohol per year. Just in the past 27 years the total volume of alcohol that people consumed globally increased by 70%. Even though on a global level alcohol consumption is increasing, if you are listening to this podcast you have made it further than 95% of people out there. You are starting to make changes. On the brighter side, an article published on January 17, 2018 in Bloomberg, reported that Americans drank less alcohol in 2018, for the third straight year. Total cases of beer, wine and spirits consumed in the US dropped by .8% in 2018. This was the third straight year that there had been a decline in consumption. So globally people are consuming more alcohol, but in the United States consumption is declining. There’s a new term called ‘sobor curious’, which includes a large population that doesn’t necessarily have an issue with alcohol, but are waking up and are recognizing that maybe messages that big alcohol is telling us aren’t panning out to be true in real life. SHOW NOTES [12:30] Tim, with a sobriety date of May 13, 2019, has 2 days sober. After having this interview scheduled for about a week Tim emailed Paul to let him know that he had drank. He felt like he might not be the ideal candidate to be on the podcast. After reading the email, Paul let Tim know that he is exactly who he wants to have on the podcast. [15:10] Paul introduces Tim. Tim is 36 years old and was born, and raised, in Boston Massachusetts. He came from an Italian family that was in the construction industry. In middle and high school, he developed a real passion for music. He dedicated himself to hours and hours of voice, guitar and piano lessons, which led him into a career in ministry as a worship leader. Tim got married at 19 and is still married to the same woman, they are about to celebrate 17 years and have 3 children. His career in ministry is in the past and he is working as a project manager for a company that installs high end woodworking beams and bookshelves. [16:45] Give us a little background about your drinking. Tim started drinking at 15 and the first night he drank he got alcohol poisoning. He spent that first night in the shower throwing up and blacking out. He says he was never able to drink casually. Getting married at the age of 19, to a woman that is a couple years older than him, meant that he had someone that could buy alcohol for him. In his early 20s he was drinking about a 6-pack a day. At the age of 25 Tim attended his first AA meeting, just to see. By this time, he was drin
Mon, June 10, 2019
RE 225: Why I Drank After 2.5 Years Alcohol Free
Nick, with 101 days of sobriety, shares his story. Paul is asking the listeners what they want to hear on the podcast. Do you want more interviews with industry professionals, such as recovery coaches, authors, and wellness leaders? Or do you like the podcast just the way it is with Paul interviewing sobriety badasses? Leave a review on iTunes and let Paul know! On today’s podcast Paul shares that he was recently interviewed on a podcast called, Self Made and Sober by the host Andrew Lassise. Andrew asked Paul what was the difference between his first 2 ½ years of sobriety and from September 7, 2014 on. According to Paul, that was a fantastic question with an easy answer. The first 2 ½ years of sobriety was from January 1, 2010 through August 2012. On 1/1/10 Paul made a declaration to go 30 days without alcohol. When day 30 hit Paul was at a crossroads. He had started to lose weight, feel good, his face was less puffy, life just got better. So, he decided to go another month. Going into month 3 the pink cloud showed up. But during this 2 ½ years he had a mindset of lack. A mindset that he was missing something, couldn’t do something. And as with anything, when we approach a goal with a mindset of lack, with a mindset that we will be missing something, it is not going to last. After 2 ½ years Paul went to his first AA meeting and walked away thinking “I got this.”. 2 days later he drank, picking up right where he had left off. Those first 2 ½ years were based on willpower, which does not work. On September 7, 2014 something felt different. He knew that he had to quit drinking. But his mindset was different. Paul wasn’t looking at giving up alcohol as a sacrifice, but rather that space was being created, and things (alcohol) were being cleared, for better things to come. This time he wasn’t doing it out of fear, he was doing it because there was a light at the end of the tunnel, an opportunity. That opportunity shows up every day. Instead of having a mindset of lack Paul now has a mindset of opportunity. SHOW NOTES [18:40] Paul introduces Nick. Nick is 29 years old and has been sobor since January 25, 2019. He says that that biggest lesson he has learned in recovery so far is personal acceptance. Nick is from Saginaw, MI. He says he is figuring out what he likes to do for fun, that right now everything is fun whereas when he was drinking nothing was fun. He enjoys being around people, disk golf, hiking, and meditation. He is divorced, a result of his addiction, but close to his family who live is Saginaw as well. For work Nick is about to start a new position with an organization called Families Against Narcotics. [22:40] Give us a little background about your drinking. Nick started drinking and using at the age of 14. From the first time he drank nick knew he wasn’t like other people. He realized he didn’t have an off switch. He says there w
Mon, June 03, 2019
RE 224: Which Wolf Will You Feed?
Gerald, with a sobriety date of November 16, 2015, shares his story. Registration for the RE Asia Adventure is now open! You can register and get more information about this event here On a recent Café’ RE webinar, our host Odette, who is a sobriety warrior, brought a fantastic topic to the webinar. The Cherokee parable titled Two Wolves. It is about an old Cherokee teaching his grandson about life. He tells the grandson that he has a fight going on inside him between two wolves. One is evil, the other is good. The grandson thought for a moment and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?” The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.” This same fight is going on inside all of us. But we should refrain from labeling our wolves ‘evil’ and ‘good’, because they are both equally important. We tend to feed our ‘evil’ wolf more, because it’s source of energy doesn’t require much action. When this wolf gets thirsty, we feed it alcohol. The ‘good’ wolf takes more effort and energy to feed, it craves sobriety. Because both wolves are equally important, we cannot ignore the ‘evil’ one, we must acknowledge it and that will keep it happy. When we ignore one, we become unbalanced. SHOW NOTES [13:00] Paul introduces Gerald. Gerald is 50 years old and lives in Boulder, CO with his family. He was born and raised in Connecticut, where he went to a private school and private college. Skiing and biking are Gerald’s passions. [15:50] Give us a little background about your drinking. Gerald started drinking when he was in high school. Through high school and college his drinking was only an occasional/weekend thing. After moving to Boulder, he cut back on his drinking because he was staying active biking and training for triathlons. At the age of 30 he decided he wanted to go to culinary school and stopped exercising and started eating, and his drinking picked up. He gained 40 pounds. In 2011 he decided he wanted to lose the weight, so he got back on his bike, cut back on his drinking, and in 8 months lost the 40 he had gained. When he was 43 Gerald lost his job and the decrease in income forced him and his family to move in with his in-laws. While he appreciated what his in-laws were doing for him and his family, he says it really started to take its toll on him and the way he felt as a man. This is when his drinking really started to progress. [19:11] What happened after that? In April of 2015 he lost another job. The pattern was starting to solidify. This was also when he really started to get into personal development. [20:20] Did you start to see the role that alcohol was playing in your life? Gerald said only looking backwards. He didn’t see it at the time. He thought he drank the same as all his friends, and that nobody ever pulled him aside or sug
Mon, May 27, 2019
RE 223: Let Authenticity Replace Positivity
Alex, with 63 days of sobriety, shares his story. On today’s podcast Paul talks about what researchers, that studied the drinking habits of people that work with the public, discovered. They found that employees that forced themselves to smile and be happy around customers were more at risk to heavier drinking after work. Because of this, employers may want to rethink their ‘service with a smile’ policies. Employees that work with the public may be using a lot of self-control, so later these employees may not have enough self-control to regulate how much they drink. Faking, or suppressing emotions, is called surface acting, which is also linked with drinking after work. Overall it was found that employees that interacted with the public drank more after work than those who did not. Try not to suppress your emotions. Emotions are just that, emotions. They are not good or bad. It’s okay to be authentic in the work place. The best way to be authentic is with eye contact. Authenticity replaces positivity. SHOW NOTES [13:45] Paul introduces Alex. Alex is 34 years old. He lives in Sandy, UT, where he was born and raised. He is married and has a 3-year-old son. He works in information technology and is a captain in the Army National Guard. For fun Alex likes anything outdoors. He enjoys skiing, camping, glamping and also plays the guitar and drums. [16:20] Give us a little background about your drinking. Alex joined the military and started drinking at age 21. He describes his drinking as like a frog in a slow boil. Around age 30 drinking really started to affect his health. His hangovers were getting worse. He was having unexplained pains where his liver was located and experiencing a shortness of breath. [20:45] What was your anxiety like? He was worried about things a normal person wouldn’t be worried about. In October 2017 he went to his doctor and was finally honest about his anxiety and depression…but not with his drinking. In January of 2018 he decided to do a dry January so hit the booze hard leading up to it. [25:45] What was it like on January 1st? At day 15 Alex found the podcast and started binge listening to it. He realized he was like the people on the podcast, that he was an alcoholic. At day 32, after making it through ‘dry January’ he drank. That started a 2-week bender. [30:56] During that 2-week bender did you try to stop? He got a case of the ‘fuck-its’ and that 2-week bender was just everyday hammering the alcohol. He then just realized that he wasn’t being the person he wanted to be. [32:40] Talk to us about after you had that moment of clarity. The most important thing for Alex was being very honest with himself about the fact
Mon, May 20, 2019
RE 222: The 20/40/40 Rule
Ryan, with 90 days of sobriety, shares his story. On today’s podcast Paul talks about the 3 major players when it comes to sobriety. The players are; the mind, the body, and the breath. Paul likes to call this the 20/40/40 rule, because that is how we should allocate the importance to these 3 major players. The mind (20%) should be used as a radar to scan the body, do not try and use the mind to solve addiction. The body (40%) never lies, it is your unconscious mind. The breath (40%) is like your fighter jet. Once your mind has located where on your body your energetic mass has accumulated get in your fighter jet (the breath) and start building circuits in this area. SHOW NOTES [12:15] Paul introduces Ryan. Ryan lives in Sacramento, Ca. He works in sales for a large software company. He is 35 years old and got married last year. For fun Ryan likes anything outdoors. He enjoys snowboarding, hiking, running, and he is currently training for a half marathon. Ryan says he is an extrovert and gets a lot of energy hanging out and talking with people and friends. [14:20] Give us a little background about your drinking. Ryan had his first drink at 14 years old. Throughout high school he played a lot of sports and only drank on the weekends. His drinking ramped up in college. He joined a fraternity and was always the guy that you could count on to do crazy things. Looking back, he can see that his drinking ramped up in college and it never stopped once he was out of college. Even though he would go periods when drinking didn’t seem to be a problem, he would then be back to blacking out again and drinking like he was in college. [16:30] When did you start to realize that alcohol was a problem? Ryan says that is tricky, because even though he would wake up and not remember things from the night before his friends were doing the same thing, and they’d be making jokes about it. But when he was 21, he woke in the hospital and they told him he had a .39 blood alcohol level (BAC). Someone had called an ambulance. He says that that was probably not the only time his BAC had been that high. He felt the problem was the fact that he was blacking out, and that is what he tried to address, which is why he continued to drink for the next 10-15 years. [18:25] In your 20s was there a specific moment that you tried to take action in regards to your drinking? Ryan says no. He felt he was in his 20s and he was having fun. He was still functioning and finding success in his career. He did try putting some rules on his drinking but says he never really wanted to stop drinking during his 20s, he just wanted to stop blacking out. [19:30] When did you realize that to stop blacking out wasn’t an opt
Mon, May 13, 2019
RE 221: In Sobriety, We Must First Learn Who We Aren’t
Liz, with a sobriety date of July 8, 2017, shares her story. Workshops for the Bozeman, MT, retreat in August are lined up! There are still a few spots left! You can find more information about this event here On today’s podcast Paul talks about a common misconception people have as they move forward in a life without alcohol. That misconception is that when we get sober, we will finally find out who we really are. But that isn’t how it works. We do get to that point, but first we must find out who we aren’t. During this phase; people, places, things, ideas, thought patterns, identities, that are no longer in line with your new direction in life will start to fade away. Just allow this process to happen. Recovery is all about action, but this is a process of inaction. This is a recurring process. SHOW NOTES [10:05] Paul introduces Liz. Liz is 29 years old and is originally from Indiana but is now living in Frankfurt, Illinois. She is a licensed, board certified, acupuncturist and Chinese herbalist. She is married. For fun she enjoys working out, hiking, yoga, reading, going to concerts, and she is a big foodie. [11:00] Give us a little background about your drinking. Liz started drinking when she was about 12 or 13 years old. She was an only child and grew up in an abusive household, with addict parents (who are still active in their addictions). She was sexually abused by her father and his friends between the ages of 8-10. All of this trauma laid dormant until Liz was 21 years old. Liz’s father would give her drugs and alcohol whenever she would ask, she believes it was his way of keeping her numb, so that she would never speak up. Her house was the party house in high school, and even middle school. Liz dated an ecstasy dealer, which led her into an ecstasy addiction and an overdose. At the age of 20 she went to jail for underage drinking. She moved to Chicago when she was 21. She was working and going to school full time, and drinking. [16:55] You are the first person interviewed that has said they always knew they had a drinking problem, please explain. She knew that when she started drinking at 12/13 years old that she was drinking to cover something up. It was always a numbing agent for Liz, never a feel-good agent. It was just the way I coped with everything. Knowing she needed help she found an addictions counselor in Chicago. Within the first session the counselor was telling her she was an alcoholic and addict, needed AA and to enter inpatient treatment. She continued to go to therapy, but did not enter into inpatient. It was during this time that the sexual abuse from her childhood started to surface and her drinking and drugging intensified. </
Mon, May 06, 2019
RE 220: Depression, Stress and Anxiety
Nick, with 111 days sober, shares his story. On today’s episode Paul discusses anxiety, depression and stress. “These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.” ~ Rumi. Depression is when mental energies are stuck in the past, anxiety is when we are living in the future, and stress accumulates when the end goal is more important than the task at hand. Liberation from all three of these dysfunctions resides in the present moment. There is an undeniable connection between alcohol and depression. Remove alcohol and the bulk of melancholy should be lifted within a matter of months. Anxiety levels should also return to baseline after removing alcohol from your life. When we are primarily focused on the end outcome, and not the task at hand, we experience stress. Stress can be devastating to the equanimity in the body. The most powerful remedy to depression, anxiety, and stress is to ground yourself in the moment. SHOW NOTES [10:40] Paul introduces Nick Nick is 32 years old and lives in Vancouver, Canada. He works in the career center at a university. He has been married for 2 years. For fun, he is still trying to figure that out in sobriety, but he enjoys having conversation and making connections with people. [13:20] Give us a little background about your drinking. Nick didn’t really start drinking until his early 20’s. He says he liked to drink, that there never really was a time that he did not enjoy it. He felt he could drink more than most and still be OK. And what that ended up doing was it basically normalized drinking large amounts of alcohol, because he wasn’t getting sick or waking up with a hangover. Things slowly escalated from there. In 2010 Nick moved to Vancouver. There were a few times when he decided that he didn’t like how much he was drinking, and he would just stop for a few months at a time. [17:00] What was the catalyst for you to decide to go a month or two without alcohol? He went through a really messed up experience between his best friend and the person he was dating at the time. He dealt with that experience by drinking. What he came to realize was that alcohol just made him feel worse. So, he distanced himself from those 2 people and from alcohol. He went 3-4 months without drinking, not thinking he would never drink again, but more because he felt he needed a break from it. When Nick started to drink again, the next year or two, it wasn’t that bad. But what came back very quickly was the familiar feeling that alcohol made him feel comfortable, safe, more confident. The thing that tipped Nick off to drinking becoming a problem was in order to feel normal or comfortable in a situation, he needed alcohol. [20:15] When did you realize that your drinking wa
Mon, April 29, 2019
RE 219: Let's Talk Surrender
Sami, with a sobriety date of July 21, 2018, shares her story. On today’s podcast Paul discuses surrender. What does is really mean to reach a point of surrendering? It doesn’t have to be complicated. Surrendering simply means yielding to your next stage in life. As Paul mentioned on a previous podcast, addictions are no more than sign posts in life, and surrender is when we fully accept them and make, what is most likely to be the most important change in our life, quitting alcohol. Once we reach that moment when we realize that there are no more ways to moderate, when we clearly see that any attempt at moderation results in a dumpster fire, we usually find ourselves saying things like; f*ck it, I quit, I’m done, or I can’t do this anymore. If you’ve ever muttered those words then congratulations! You’ve hit what Paul calls the ‘now what’ milestone, which is huge. This is when we enter into a moment of clarity and surrender. Surrendering is not a one and done thing. Surrendering is something you will repeatedly do as you continue on your journey in sobriety. SHOW NOTES [11:35] Paul introduces Sami Sami is 28 years old. She lives in Prescott, Az. She has a 9-year-old son, 2 wiener dogs, and a cat. For fun Sami likes to hike/wander around the woods, do yoga and is into crystals. [13:00] Give us a little background about your drinking. Sami says she comes from a whole family of alcoholics. She had her first beer at the age of 14. She remembers being jealous of her older brothers, at the age of 13, because they could party and she was too young. During her teenage years she smoked pot more than she drank. When Sami was 17 her mom, who had a drug problem, passed away. At the age of 19 Sami got pregnant with her son. When Sami turned 21, she went out to the bars, got wasted, felt horrible the following day, and said she would not do that again. And she didn’t, for about a year. She split up with the father of her son, reconnected with a high school girlfriend, and started going out. She says her drinking progressed from, ‘I’m not drinking alone.”, to bringing home beer to drink alone. She tried to hide being an alcoholic behind liking craft beer. When her son started asking her how many beers she had had she realized that drinking may be an issue. [19:00] When your son started asking you that question did you stop and think…this might not be right? When he would ask her that she would get irritated. [19:55] What through the next couple years up until your sobriety date in July 2018. Eventually she was drinking every day, and also driving. Drinking and driving with her son in the car. April 14, 2014, she went to visit a girlfriend and they hung out by the pool drinking. On her way hom
Mon, April 22, 2019
RE 218: Let's Talk Relapse
James, with a sobriety date of November 12, 2016, shares his story. Recovery Elevator is on Instagram! Please follow Paul and Ben here . On today’s podcast Paul discuses relapse. For some, and Paul has only met a few, relapse isn’t part of their story. But for the vast majority it is, and it isn’t something to be ashamed of. Spontaneous sobriety is rare. Paul feels that the word ‘relapse’ is another word in recovery, similar to the word ‘alcoholic’, that needs to be thrown out. The word ‘relapse’ has implications of failure. When we drink again, after having made the internal declaration not to, we are simply doing more field research, learning lessons along the way. If you find yourself in a continuous cycle of field research, self-compassion is key. Stop placing success and failure parameters on whether you drank last night or not. When we start addressing what we are using alcohol to cover up than relapse will become less frequent and even a thing of the past. When you do find yourself on stable footing, beware of the 3 most dangerous words on this journey…I got this. SHOW NOTES **Listeners you can listen to James’ first interview back on episode 105 when he had 74 days of sobriety, today he has 850 days. [8:05] Paul introduces James James is 31 years old and lives in New Jersey with his wife and their pomsky, Milo. He works in Manhattan. For fun he likes to golf, go to the gym, and hang with his wife and pup. [10:50] Give us a little background about your drinking. James started drinking when he was 13, stealing beers and wine coolers from the liquor cabinet. In high school he was not a big drinker, although he remembers how drinking helped make him feel comfortable. He started college, on a golf scholarship, became good friends with one of his teammates that was a Christian, started going to bible study and church and didn’t drink his entire freshman year. Later, one of his teammates from England, was graduating so they threw a party and James drank. He picked up right where he left off and the next three years of college he was binge drinking and dabbled in drugs. The spring semester of his senior year his coach called him in to his office and told him not to come to practice anymore, that he was coming in smelling like liquor and bringing the rest of the team down. This was the first time that he realized his drinking was affecting other people. [13:44] Can you tell us what it felt like to have someone on the outside call you out on your drinking. Immediately James was embarrassed and ashamed. He walked out of the office feeling sad and like he had let everyone down. He was able to curb his drinking enough t
Mon, April 15, 2019
RE 217: 10 Ways to Ground Yourself in Sobriety
Brad, with a sobriety date of August 31, 2018, shares his story. Paul talks about the ‘now’ and ways we can ground ourselves while we find ourselves taking this thing one day at a time. At some period in our journey we will find ourselves logging our days in our tracker like it ‘ain’t no thing’. Then there are other days when we wake up and keeping the mind in check can be a constant struggle. Paul shares some of his own favorite personal techniques that he uses to ground himself. Acknowledge what is really happening. Think in terms of “we” rather than “I” Take your shoes off and walk barefooted outside. You are nature…take time to go out in your natural setting, nature. Slow down. Do not multitask Pay close attention to the body Go from saying, “I can get through this’, to saying, “I AM getting through this”. Go with the gut. Last one is I tell myself “Dude, Paul…this isn’t you!” If you have a grounding technique that you use, that isn’t listed here, email it to Paul and put “Grounding Techniques” in the subject line. SHOW NOTES [12:10] Paul introduces Brad Brad is 31 years old and is from Fort Wayne, Indiana. He is a traveling salesperson and sells health care products to providers. He is married and has a daughter. For fun he likes to golf and recently has joined a kick boxing gym. [14:15] Give us a little background about your drinking. Brad was a good kid all through high school. At 17 he had a job as a barback where he learned a lot about alcohol. He was pretty much alcohol free all through college. When he was 20 years old he went to England and that is when he started to drink, not having too many sober days while there. Later, at 21 years old, he is back in the states working as a resident assistant and is spending as much time as he can at the bar. Later he moved back home into his parent’s basement and was sneaking off to the bars, rather than spending time with them, as much as he could. This is where he met his wife. They got married and, on their honeymoon, because he had had so much to drink, he almost drowned himself. He continued to drink the duration of the honeymoon. Fast forward to his wife being pregnant with their daughter, a lot of changes taking place in their relationship and he is no longer the focus of it. After his daughter was born, he was laid off from his job. He spent a lot of his nights, while helping care for his daughter, drinking heavily. In January of 2018 his grandfather committed suicide. Brad found another job and then there was a spiral from June to August, 2018. August 31, 2018, he got pulled over for drunk driving. He hit his bottom in a jail cell. The next day his dad took hi
Mon, April 08, 2019
RE 216: The Unfu*ck Yourself Movement
Libby, with 112 days of sobriety, shares her story. Paul talks about a trend he noticed in the airport bookstore. Amongst the ’20 best sellers’ there were several books with clear, unambiguous titles. Our society is collectively starting to wake up and are looking for ways to unf*ck ourselves. He says that all of these books, including the one he is currently writing, are not fulfilling a trend or a niche, but that it’s a movement. https://newrepublic.com/article/153153/age-anxiety Paul recently read an article titled the Age of Anxiety in the New Republic, According to studies by the National Institute of Mental Health , nearly 20 percent of Americans experience an anxiety disorder in a given year; over 30 percent experience an anxiety disorder over the course of their lifetimes. And the rate is rising: The American Psychiatric Association, in a May study drawing from a survey of 1,000 American adults, diagnosed a statistically significant increase in national anxiety since 2017. But listeners listen closely, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with you. Never has been, never will be. This anxiety is a good thing. This collective state of unrest will eventually show us the way. This jittery national mood has given rise to what Rebecca Jennings at Vox has dubbed “anxiety consumerism”—the rise of a plethora of products, from fidget spinners to essential-oil sprays, to weighted blankets. Perhaps the most well-known product to fall into this anxiety consumerism category is alcohol. Those who struggle with addiction are the trailblazers in the collective unf*ck yourself movement. Not just for those who grapple with addiction to alcohol, but for everyone. SHOW NOTES [7:15] Libby how long have you been sober? She has been sober since October 23, 2018, giving her 112 days of sobriety. [7:40] In these last 112 days what is the biggest challenge you’ve encountered? She says that the cravings and the obsession to drink in the first couple months was definitely the toughest time. [9:00] Paul Introduces Libby. Libby is 32 years old and lives in Louisville, Kentucky. She is an interior designer and is currently waiting tables at night. She has been married for 5 years, has no kids, has a dog named Boomerang, and a cat named Brice. For fun she works out, does cr
Mon, April 01, 2019
RE 215: Addictions are Signposts in Life
Ashley, with 192 days of sobriety, shares her story. Paul talks about how alcohol is the invitation. What is this invitation? It’s called addiction. Depending on how you RSVP you could have a life filled with infinite joy. The fact that you are listening to this podcast right now is a good clue as to how you’re going to RSVP. At first the invitations may not show up with enough frequency to connect the dots. But, sooner or later, these invitations will start to show up more frequently, once a year, once every 6 months, once a week, once a day in every aspect of our lives. For many that struggle with addiction they ignore this invitation their entire lives and it is not pretty. If we stick to this long enough it will become clear that our addiction is the best thing that has happened for us. For those of you listening, you have earned your invitation. Keep in mind the pain and suffering required to initiate this positive change in behind you. This thing called life, if it hasn’t already, is about to get good. So how will you RSVP to this invitation? SHOW NOTES [12:30] Paul Introduces Ashley. Ashley lives in Chicago, IL with her sister and their 2 dogs. She is single and is 31 years old. She recently finished cosmetology school and is currently an apprentice to become a hair stylist at a salon in the city. For fun Ashley likes to cook, enjoys music and going to concerts, power lifting, meditation, and is back playing soccer. [14:30] Give us a little background about your drinking. She was 13/14 years old the first time she got drunk, in her neighbors’ basement. She remembers going home and telling her mom that she had been drinking, and that she got sick. During high school she hung out with a lot of different crowds so went to, and drank at, a lot of parties. She says she knew right away that she had a problem. From the moment she would start drinking she would fixate on how she could drink more. When she got into college, she hit the ground running with partying. She did a lot of partying and blacking out, had a lot of fun and didn’t get into any sever trouble, which she says, she thinks is why she continued to drink like she did. In the back of her mind she was telling herself that once she was done with college things would change and she would grow up. After college she moved to Chicago and continued to drink on the weekends (Thursday-Sunday), which felt normal to her. When she was 25, she woke up one morning, grabbed her phone, and Googled “what is an alcoholic?”. At 27, after a relationship that ended badly, she found herself in a super dark place. She was depressed, having panic attacks, eating disorder flair ups, drinking, and drugging. She managed to pull herself out of that dark place, and to prove to herself that she didn’t have a problem she didn’t drink for 30 d
Mon, March 25, 2019
RE 214: Your Body and Mind Have the Capacity to Heal Itself
Dr. Sue Morter, talks to us about how our bodies and minds have the capacity to heal themselves if we allow it. Registration is now live for the Recovery Elevator retreat in Bozeman, Montana this upcoming August. You can find more information about this event here Paul discusses addiction and how there are hundreds of definitions for what addiction is. He has covered several of them on this podcast already, and covers many more in the book that he is currently writing. Some definitions are scientific. Some are psychological. Some explain the disease theory. He brings up another definition that, in his opinion, may be the simplest and most accurate. Paul suggests that addiction(s) are nothing more than signposts in life. Addictions are nudges from the body, your internal and external environments, that signify that a change needs to occur. Many people struggling with addiction ignore these internal and external cues their entire lives, and this gets ugly. There are signposts everywhere in life. Paul’s advice? Get out of the way and let life happen. The content that Dr. Sue Morter writes about in her book, The Energy Codes, which was released about a week ago, is profound. (You can find the link here .) She explains through quantum science how we can use our own energies to heal ourselves if we let it happen. Be prepared to have your mind blown. SHOW NOTES [7:44] Paul Introduces Dr. Sue. Dr. Sue is an international speaker, master of bioenergetic medicine, and a quantum field visionary. She explains how quantum science and spirituality are speaking the same language. Dr. Sue redirects the flow of energy patterns in the body to activate full human potential. Through her presentations, seminars, retreats, which Paul attended one this past February in Colorado, and her book The Energy Codes, Dr. Sue illuminates the relationship of quantum science and energy medicine, as well as the elevation of human consciousness and life mastery. In the book The Energy Codes, and at her retreats and conferences, she teaches individuals how to clear subconscious memory blockages. [9:45] What is addiction? What causes it, and can it be overcome Dr. Sue? Dr. Sue is about the flow of energy in the body. If the energy is flowing in the body then the body is healing itself. What happens with addiction is that there are sets of circuits that are supposed to be connecting our enteric system, meaning our digestive, hormonal, and chemical balance system, with our heart, with our mind. We're supposed to be one big communication system, everything having a check and balance on everything else. What happens is we have a tendency to kind of land and splat when we get here. We land in this life a
Mon, March 18, 2019
RE 213: The Most Controversial Word in Recovery
Mina, with a sobriety date of May 30, 2017, shares his story. You can sign up for a FREE 5-day Recovery Elevator video course here . Paul discusses the most controversial word he has encountered in AA. The word is recovered , as in your addiction to alcohol is behind you. Although recovered is mentioned in the books of AA, after Paul said the word in an AA meeting, he noticed a shift in the energy in the room. Ty (who has been editing the podcasts for over 150 episodes straight…Thank you Ty!), found the word recovered mentioned over 20 times in The Big Book and the Twelve and Twelve. So why is the word recovered so controversial? Is recovered even such a thing? SHOW NOTES [10:30] Paul Introduces Mina. Mina with a sobriety date of May 30, 2017, is 37 years old and is from Stockholm, Sweden. He is single and has no children. He is a software engineer. For fun Mina likes to read, visit museums and exhibitions, and spend time in libraries. [12:20] Give us a little background about your drinking. Mina had his first real drink at the age of 17, it was his first high school party and the first time he blacked out. From 17 to 25 he was drinking hard. He was drinking on his own, drinking Friday to Monday. During those years he didn’t really mix drinks, he would have a couple beers and go straight to vodka or tequila. After a couple years it was just bottles of vodka or tequila, and he was drinking alone. After a humiliating experience in 2003 he tried to regulate his drinking for the next 3 years, which did not go well. In 2007 he decided to move back to South Africa, where his parents were living. Before leaving his friends threw him a going away party, which ended with Mina waking up in a hospital emergency room and not knowing how he got there. For the first time he realized he had a drinking problem. The next 11 years he says he was a textbook dry drunk. On May 29, 2017 Mina had his last drink. The following day he walked into an AA meeting, was done fighting, and introduced himself as an alcoholic. [28:22] How did it feel when you said you were an alcoholic? The word itself wasn’t that difficult. But saying it in front of a group of people, who then clapped, gave him a sense of relief and he started crying. [32:45] You mentioned that you had the shakes for two weeks after your last day of drinking, what is your take on that? He says he doesn’t even remember those first two weeks. He knows he called his AA sponsor a couple times, he took a couple days off work, and that he was doing things to take care of himself. [35:20] What kept you going during those first two miserable weeks? He knew
Mon, March 11, 2019
RE 212: The Body Tells us Where to go Next in Recovery
Tricia, with a sobriety date of November 14, 2016, shares her story. Sometimes we reach a moment in our journey where we say, “what’s next?”. Paul discusses what he would recommend when you reach this moment. Do not go ‘seeking’, that reinforces a mind state that we are lacking something. Instead, listen to the body. The body is going to tell you where to go next. SHOW NOTES [7:30] Paul Introduces Tricia. Tricia with a sobriety date of November 14, 2016, is 37 years old and lives in Dallas, TX. Tricia is a chef by trade, a business owner, and has a few side hustles. She is divorced and does not have kids, but has a ‘manfriend’. For fun Tricia likes to do crafts and puzzles, and enjoys live music. [8:40] Give us a little background about your drinking. Tricia grew up around alcoholism and addiction. She had her first drink at 16 years old, getting drunk at a party to get back at a boy who had hurt her. She says she always drank to get drunk. Blackouts started in her early twenties and she started to try to moderate by her mid-twenties. Tricia was always a high achiever and she soon became a high achieving, high functioning, alcoholic. The hard part was coming to terms with the fact that she had a problem when she was sure everything looked fine from the outside. [15:10] Did you have a rock bottom moment, or was it an accumulation of many moments? Her drinking took a turn for the worse when she got divorced at the age of 34. She was blacking out every time she drank, waking up with injuries and didn’t know where they came from. Tricia says at a certain point you can no longer negotiate with alcohol. After a 3-day physical detox she decided to keep the dry spell going. [20:22] Why do you think it’s so hard to quit drinking? We love to get in our own way. Alcohol is highly addictive. Our egos get in the way. [26:16] What got you from the beginning of your sobriety to where you are now? First and foremost, she had an open mind. Tricia stopped doing what she wanted to do and started doing what other people told her she should do…and she tried everything. She started attending AA regularly. She was open and honest, and she started doing the things that were uncomfortable. [30:20] Is RECOVERED a thing? She says it depends. In Tricia’s opinion, alcoholism isn’t about the alcohol it is about the stuff you are drinking over. She says you (she) can be recovered from the alcoholism while at the same time not be recovered from the stuff you (she) drank over. [34:00] With 2 years and 3 months, what are you working on in your recovery now? She says she’s in some transition right now. Being patient with the things that are out of her control is som
Mon, March 04, 2019
RE 211: Courage to Face the Unknown in Sobriety
Steven, with a sobriety date of August 7, 2016, shares his story. Registration for the Bozeman, Montana Retreat opened up this past Friday. Space is limited for this retreat. You can find more information about events here Internet memes…a picture, coupled with a few short words, can spread powerful messages. Paul describes one he saw the other day. It was an old school telephone with the words, “when the phone was attached with a wire humans were free”. Paul encourages listeners to put their phone down for a couple of hours each day. Paul talks about courage. Courage is being OK with not knowing what is happening next. We don’t know what’s going to happen when we quit drinking. This can be frightening. In recovery we don’t need to be at level 10 courageousness at all times. Paul’s advice is to listen to your body, it will tell you when it’s time to be courageous or time to go a little slower. SHOW NOTES [7:36] Paul Introduces Steven. Steven, with a sobriety date of August 7, 2016, is 30 years old and is from Bakersfield, CA. He works for a utility company. He has a beautiful girlfriend. Steven has always enjoyed outdoor activities and since being sober he has added reading and meditation to his list of things he enjoys. [10:00] Give us a little background about your drinking. Steven had his first few beers at the age of 13, but didn’t start drinking heavily until his senior year of high school when he started binge drinking on the weekends. That mind-altering feeling, that that first drink at the age of 13 gave him, filled a void that he always felt he had. Steven was kicked out at 18 and got his first DUI/wreck at 19. He continued to drink and 8 yrs. later he got his 2nd DUI with a BAC of .29. This 2nd DUI was an eye opener for Steven, and walking out of jail after it he decided to take a break from alcohol…that was August 7, 2016. [18:30] What would you say to listeners that are trying to “think their way” through sobriety? He would tell them it’s not going to happen. [21:22] Walk us through what happened when you walked out of jail on August 7, 2016. The first few weeks were tough. Nobody knew about his 2nd DUI because he was too embarrassed to tell anyone. For a few months he went into hibernation mode, only going from home, to work, and back home. He met, and started dating a girl at about the 4th month mark and that lasted until he had a year of sobriety. That breakup did not go well and he started obsessing about drinking again. He went as far as pouring himself a glass of Jack Daniels, but because he had a healthy fear of alcohol, he played the tape forward and called a sober friend instead of drinking it. The next night he went to his first AA meeting and has continued to go eve
Mon, February 25, 2019
RE 210: Cravings - What They are and How to Deal With Them
Juan, with a sobriety date of May 29, 2018, shares his story. Congratulations to Kirk S. in Florida for hitting 1 year of sobriety. This Friday, March 1st, registration for the Recovery Elevator Retreat in Bozeman goes live. Space is limited for this retreat. You can find more information about events here After the interview with Juan, Paul will discuss detoxing from alcohol and how dangerous it can be. Paul talks about cravings. What they are, what they represent, and what to do when we experience them. Also, are all cravings the same? In simple form, a craving is a desire to regulate our inner state with an external substance or behavior. SHOW NOTES [9:25] Paul Introduces Bill. Juan, with a sobriety date of May 29, 2018, is 32 years old and is from Los Angeles, CA. He is a personal assistant, and single. For fun Juan likes to play music (he is in a band), go to the movies, hike, workout. [10:25] Give us a little background about your drinking. Juan started drinking at the age of 19 to ‘fit in’. He had recently come out as a gay man and drinking helped him feel more confident and comfortable in his own skin. Touring with his band all over the country and world, drinking was the way he got rid of his performance anxiety. Around age 25 things started to get messy. Towards the end of his drinking his anxiety was through the roof. [13:25] Tell us more about your anxiety. At first drinking would calm his anxiety, but once he ‘went over the threshold’ he would start to get paranoid. The worst part was the fear he would have when waking up in the morning. His self-esteem was at an all time low. In May of 2017 Juan hit this internal rock bottom, got into a horrible physical altercation with a friend and knew something had to change. [18:35] Walk us through what happened after May 27, 2107. He went through a ‘dry drunk’ stage. He just stopped drinking, started avoiding going out, avoiding certain people and situations. It wasn’t easy and he was not feeling the benefits right away. He felt like he was on a diet and depriving himself. He did this for about 4 months and then felt like his relationship with alcohol had changed, and he decided to drink again. By his birthday in February his drinking was back to where it was when he quit. [22:15] Continue from where you are back to drinking and your anxiety is back. On May 28, 2018 he decided to try sobriety again. This time he would do it differently. He started to read books and watch movies about alcoholism. After about a month and a half, and at a friend’s suggestion, he went to his first AA meeting. Although he was nervous and uncomfortable, he immediately felt like he found what he need
Mon, February 18, 2019
RE 209: 4 Themes From 4 Years of Podcasting
Bill, with a sobriety date of October 8, 2018, shares her story. We want to thank Mike Noll for his commitment to doing the podcast show notes for the previous 35 episodes and welcome Kerri, from California, to the position, who will take over doing the next 26 episodes. We still have a couple spots left for our Nashville event coming up this February 22 – 24. Registration for Bozeman Retreat will open up on March 1, and registration for our Asia Adventure will open up on July 1. You can find more information about events here Paul shares the news he is writing a book, which he hopes to launch by July 1. As that date gets closer, he will be asking for volunteers to be part of the launch team so be on the lookout for that opportunity if that is something you would like to be a part of. After doing something long enough some trends start to appear. In Ep. 52, after 1 year of podcasting, Paul did a summery of what he learned during the 1st year. In this episode he will cover the 4 themes that people successful in sobriety have fully embraced. Community Accountability Thinking Trust SHOW NOTES [10:15] Paul Introduces Bill. Bill, with a sobriety date of October 8, 2018, is 49 years old and is from northern New Jersey. He does investment research for an insurance company. Bill has been married for a little over 20 years and has two kids. Bill finds fun in outdoor activities such as camping and fishing. [12:56] Give us a little background about your drinking. Bill started drinking at an early age and drank all throughout college and through his 20s. He got married, finished grad school, their daughter was born, and things seemed fine. Although he was drinking during this time there was nothing significant that made him feel as if he had an alcohol problem. His son was born in 2005 and there were complications. They soon realized his son was not meeting his milestones or developing like their daughter had. When his son was 14/15 mos. old, after watching a Home Improvement episode about a family with 4 autistic children, they just knew what their son’s problem was. The day that the doctor confirmed their fears is the day that Tom feels he became an alcoholic. That was in 2006 and when the progression started. [18:53] When did you decide you needed to evaluate your alcohol consumption? Things started to unravel for Bill in April of 2017. After a mini-breakdown and a call to a sister, who called their father, an intervention was set up. He started seeing a counselor who was the only person he was honest with, including himself. At this time, he was not drinking, but white knuckling it. By May he was drinking again. He tried moderation and no matter what he tried it always fa
Mon, February 11, 2019
RE 208: You Have This Power
Crystal, with 84 days of sobriety, shares her story. This is a special podcast episode! It marks 4 consecutive years of podcasting…208 straight Mondays in a row. Paul talks about how Recovery Elevator and the RE community has saved his life, and shares ways we can all help others stop drinking. SHOW NOTES [11:00] Paul Introduces Crystal. Crystal has been sober for 84 days and lives in San Antonio, Texas. She is a life style/transformation coach. She is 30 years old and recently single. For fun Crystal likes to workout. [12:56] Give us a little background about your drinking. Crystal considered herself a binge drinker. She tried to moderate her drinking by only drinking on the weekends, as her drinking was starting to affect her work and relationships, but that led to going hard core on the weekends. [15:00] When did you first realize you had a problem with alcohol? That was a couple of years ago when she realized she didn’t drink like other people. She always wanted more to drink, always wanting to be buzzed or drunk. One drink was never enough. It was in 2018 that she realized that she really had to make a change. [19:38] You started your sobriety journey in January 2018, walk us through that. She became sober curious in January 2018, but feels like it didn’t stick at that time because she wasn’t doing it entirely for herself. She was sober for a few months but eventually lost her “why” and fell back into her old habits. There was a moment in 2018 that she felt like she had no control and that was a scary moment for her. [21:33] Do you feel like there were times in the last year that you were running on willpower alone? She definitely thinks it was on willpower alone and was trying to do it on her own. [24:04] You mentioned when you first got sober you didn’t think of it in terms of being sober the rest of your life, talk about that. She thought it was going to only be a temporary thing and that she would learn how to moderate it. She realized that she couldn’t moderate it, that only having a one or two drinks would never be enough. [26:13] What did you change 84 days ago? The first couple weeks were difficult for her. She got connected with friends at church and let her family know. She shifted her focus and became really honest with herself. [30:11] What have you learned about yourself in these last 87 days? She learned she could have a personality without being drunk. She learned that she could have fun and accomplish a lot more without being drunk. [31:48] Why do you think you drank? She thinks she started drinking because it gave her liquid courage in the social scene and then it just turned into a habit
Mon, February 04, 2019
RE 207: The Joy of Missing Out
Tom, with a sobriety date of June 6, 2018, shares his story. Events – I am excited about the upcoming events for Recovery Elevator. As already mentioned on the podcast we have Nashville on Saturday, February 23rd. We also have the Bozeman Retreat from Aug 14-18th. The Bozeman Retreat was a huge hit in 2017 and it is back on the calendar for this year. Guys, what I am particularly excited about these days is sober travel. We are putting together the sober travel itineraries and the next one we are doing is an Asia trip in late January 2020. This will be a 12 day trip, flying into Bangkok, Thailand and then making our way over to Siem Reap, Cambodia where we will make our departure. Experiencing the culture, service work, and recovery workshops will all be a part of this trip. You can find more information about all these events at recoveryelevator.com/events. We’ve all heard of FOMO, or the Fear Of Missing Out. Today I want to talk to you about JOMO – the Joy Of Missing Out. The Joy Of Missing Out is the emotionally intelligent antidote to FOMO, and is essentially about being present and content where you are at this moment in life. Instead of constantly trying to keep up with the Jones’, JOMO allows us to be who we are in the present moment, which is the secret to finding happiness. At the end of the episode I have a bunch of ”You might be an alcoholic if…” lines. Listeners I would love to hear your own “You might be an alcoholic if” lines. Email them to info@recoveryelevator.com and put YMBAAI in the subject line. SHOW NOTES [6:55] Paul Introduces Tom. Tom, who considered himself a high-functioning alcoholic, is 50 years old, lives in Seattle, Washington, and has a sobriety date of 6/4/18. He is married, has two children, and a pug named Violet. He works in the high tech field. [10:30] Give us a little background about your drinking. He had his first drink when he was 14, and although he didn’t really like it his friends were doing it, so he kept doing it. Drank a lot in high school, it was almost like a sport. The first 10-15 years he feels he was a regular drinker, that he could take it, or leave it. He began binge drinking in college. The last 20 years he was drinking every day, but didn’t think he had a problem. [16:50] When did you know that something was not right with your drinking? That started about 2 years ago when he started getting numbness in his fingers, enough times that he went to the doctor about it. The doctor asked him what his drinking was like. About a year ago he had a major stressor in his life and the way he dealt with it was by drinking. Up until that point he always thought he drank for relaxation. [24:30] Walk us through your early part of sobriety. Tom says the first 4-5 were hard and talked about the drinking dreams he had. He changed his whol
Mon, January 28, 2019
RE 206: The Tipping Point in Sobriety
Dusty, with a sobriety date of 9/21/15, shares his story. On January 1st, I launched the 3rd private, unsearchable Facebook accountability group. All Café RE signups starting January 1st-January 31st will be placed in the new group. This group will be capped at 300 members to ensure intimacy. For the entire month of January, you can use the promo code 2019 for 75% off registration. If you’re a Recovery Elevator podcast listener and you live in or close to the Nashville area, join us Saturday, February 23rd for Recovery Elevator LIVE in Nashville at 7 pm. Go to recoveryelevator.com for more info. I recently finished reading the book The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. The book isn’t specifically a recovery book, but some of the ideas and themes can be applied to getting sober and staying sober. When it comes to the journey into sobriety there are 2 tipping points I want to cover in this episode. The first one happens when you start to question whether alcohol is serving a positive purpose in your life and the second one occurs when you quit drinking. At the end of the episode I will talk about a third tipping point, one to avoid. SHOW NOTES [6:55] Paul Introduces Dusty. Dusty is 38 years old, lives in Bozeman, Montana, and has a sobriety date of 9/21/15, just over 39 months since his last drink. He is an accountant. He loves playing recreational sports, just started playing hockey this year, after learning how to skate. [10:30 ] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started drinking when he was in high school and fell in love with it. Same thing through college, but once he finished college that is when his drinking progressed. It was at this time drinking was no longer fun and started to get out of control. He was drinking alone in his apartment. [11:43 ] Did you ever try and put any rules into play, or try and quit? He would try and only drink on the weekends, try and cut out beer, try to regulate. It never worked. [15:01 ] What was your rock bottom, or your tipping point? After going on a 10 hour bender, watching college football one Saturday in the downtown bars of Bozeman he was informed the following day that he had kicked a girl that night before. He had no recollection of doing that. Running into the girl on Sunday and seeing the look on her face was his rock bottom. [24:52 ] How did you stay sober after the first month? He has a great group of friends that once he shared that he was an alcoholic they gave him 100% support. He also got really involved in the RE Facebook group. [30:35 ] Referring to the quote, “drinking is but a symptom”, do you know why you drank? Probably genetically predisposed to it, it’s on both sides of his family. And like
Mon, January 21, 2019
RE 205: Recover Who We Were Meant to Be
Kane, with 49 days of sobriety, shares his story. On January 1st, I launched the 3rd private, unsearchable Facebook accountability group. All Café RE signups starting January 1st-January 31st will be placed in the new group. This group will be capped at 300 members to ensure intimacy. For the entire month of January, you can use the promo code 2019 for 75% off registration. If you’re a Recovery Elevator podcast listener and you live in or close to the Nashville area, join us Saturday, February 23rd for Recovery Elevator LIVE in Nashville at 7 pm. Go to recoveryelevator.com for more info. Recover Who We Were Meant To Be Tony Robbins and Russell Brand recently did a podcast titled Recover Your True Self . In this episode there are two value bombs I want to talk about. The first is Russell Brand’s definition of recovery, and the other is his idea of the main intention of the 12 steps. At the end of the episode, I share a story about letting go. SHOW NOTES [6:49 ] Paul introduces Kane Kane is 45, lives in Adelaide, Australia, and has 49 days of sobriety. He is a government worker. He loves hiking and doing yoga in the mornings. He is also a birdwatcher. He likes socializing, and has been doing more social events since he’s been sober. [ 11:00 ] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started drinking in late high school, and quickly progressed to “drinking for drunkenness.” In college, alcohol became an escape from “this busy brain.” He surrounded himself with friends who drank like he did. [31:40 ] What does a typical day in your recovery look like? He gets up early, does yoga and goes to work. After work, he takes his dog Rusty for a walk, and spends time with his wife (without fighting). He has been surprised by how much he enjoys socializing in sobriety [40:39] What’s on your bucket list in sobriety? First and foremost, to continue to improve his relationship with his family. He wants to keep expanding his honesty. He is looking forward to eventually getting a caravan (camper) and going on road trips with his wife, birdwatching along the way. He also looks forward to continuing having good times without alcohol. [44:00] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Not being as good a father as I thought I was. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Waking up after a blackout, and finding a misspelled note on his phone that he’d written to himself telling him where he’d parked his car after trying not to drive while drunk. What’s your plan moving forward? Socializing, yoga, taking responsibi
Mon, January 14, 2019
RE 204: Should I Avoid Social Events Where Alcohol Will be Present?
Lucy, with 65 days of sobriety, shares her story. Do I need to avoid social situations where alcohol will be present? The answer is yes, then no, then yes. Sorry if that’s confusing. I explain better in the episode. On January 1st, I launched the 3rd private, unsearchable Facebook accountability group. All Café RE signups starting January 1st-January 31st will be placed in the new group. This group will be capped at 300 members to ensure intimacy. For the entire month of January, you can use the promo code 2019 for 75% off registration. [8:40] Paul introduces Lucy Lucy, with 65 days of sobriety, lives in London England. She is a freelance makeup artist, which she loves doing. She is single, likes walking, hiking, cooking, and drawing. [11:30] Give us a little background about your drinking. Lucy had her first experience with alcohol at age 12. Her drinking kicked into full swing after she was 18, when she began working in bar and nightclubs. She feels that it was a very quick descent into binge drinking and blackouts. By the time she was 21 she found herself drinking alone more and more. She lost every bar job she had because she would not show up for work because she was hungover. [17:34] Lucy’s first venture into sobriety. At age 26, after moving to London to be a full-time makeup artist, Lucy realized that she might lose the career she loved if she continued to drink. She tried AA, but it just didn’t resonate with her. Within a year, after white knuckeling sobriety, she went back to drinking. [20:01] Her rock bottom. Lucy had a suicide attempt at age 30, which she feels was a cry for help. She regrets what she put her family through at that time. She then had a second try at sobriety, and found that she had a lot of anger and resentment toward drinkers. [23:40] Since then, Lucy has realized that each relapse has taught her something. She cannot moderate her drinking at all. [27:50} Did you attempt to moderate your drinking? Never doing shots. Having three blood alcohol calculators on her phone. Avoiding going out as much as possible. [44:28] What is your plan in sobriety moving forward? Not drinking, staying connected, putting sobriety first. [45:04] Rapid fire round. What is your worst memory from drinking? That night in the hospital after her suicide attempt. What was your “oh shit” moment? My 10th blackout in a row, and a four-day hangover. In regards to sobriety, what is the best advice you’ve ever received? Find your tribe. <p
Mon, January 07, 2019
RE 203: Shaken, Not Stirred
Jeff, with over 2 years since his last drink, shares his story… That could never happen… Analysis of the famed James Bond movies reveals that James Bond is a full-blown functioning alcoholic living on borrowed time. “There is strong and consistent evidence that James Bond has a chronic alcohol consumption problem at the severe end of the spectrum… His workplace, MI6, needs to become a more responsible employer and refer him to support services and change their corporate drinking culture.” The amount of alcohol that James Bond is consuming in the films is enough to leave someone far too disabled to engage in any kind of crime fighting. SHOW NOTES [7:07] Paul Introduces Jeff. Jeff has been sober just over two years. He’s 43 years old and lives near Denver, Colorado. He is married with one adult son. He and his wife enjoy Netflix, boating, and writing. He is the same guest as a previous guest, episode 104. He is a genetic researcher. He is extremely busy, with three jobs. He found that most people just drink in their downtime. He went from habitual drinking around age 34 to a downward spiral once his wife left him. There was a DUI, and a crash. It enabled him to reboot. [12:20] What happened during that five year period where you drank normally, but the obsession was still there? He was still micromanaging the quantities of alcohol that were available to him. He was constantly making sure that consuming alcohol was going to be part of the plan and available just in case. Even though he found like he had a new life, he included alcohol in his activities. [14:00] Did you try to moderate your drinking with rules? Definitely. Switching from hard alcohol to beer, or only on the weekends. They seemed to break all the time. Other parts of his life were great at the time. His step daughter had a stroke, but when those three days were up he craved alcohol. He realized he was using alcohol to take a break from difficult emotions and he figured out that he needed to try and find a better way. He realized that he wanted someone else to step in and help him control his drinking. He emptied a bottle and kept it around as a reminder of his efforts to get sober. He discussed it with his wife, and they had a great conversation. He’s grateful that she met him in the middle of his struggle. She knew who he was and what he was dealing with. She agreed to get sober with him to help him along, even though she didn’t have a problem. [22:50] How important is it to have your significant other or spouse on board with your decision to get sober? Incredibly important. There were times when he wanted to crack, but she was there to support him. They agreed to find alternative ways to get through the holidays, etc. It is better, to be honest than to be hiding it. [24:21] What is it like for you in the different stages of sobriety? In the fir
Mon, December 31, 2018
RE 202: 12 Reasons to Stay Sober in 2019
Warren, with 48 hours since his last drink, shares his story… 12 reasons why sober is better: 1 - Look your best. 2 - Look and feel properly rested. 3 - Alcohol fixes things you didn’t notice were broken. 4 - Make the most of your time. 5 - Build better relationships. The opposite of addiction is connection. 6 - More confidence. You can do anything you put your mind to. 7 - Less fear! 8 - Save your money. 9 - Be more present. 10 - Avoid unnecessary disasters. 11 - Create the future you want. 12 - Improved memory SHOW NOTES [8:20] Paul Introduces Warren. Warren is 40 years old, from Martinsville, Virginia, and has been sober for 48 hours. He’s married with two children. He is the executive director of a domestic violence outreach program. He also owns a sound company. He enjoys fishing and camping, and the outdoors. He thinks you shouldn’t always believe what you think. He’s struggled with worrying about what other people think. [12:09] Give us a bit of background about you drinking. He started drinking relatively young. His parents both drank, and were very social. They were involved in politics. He and his cousin found some champagne and they drank until they blacked out. He always felt different from everybody else. When he put substances in his body, it made him feel right. So he would drink/use every chance he got. Once he had a son he began to drink heavily. He attempted to quit drinking. He was in a car accident. When he got out of the hospital, he began to drink again and also use other drugs. His gf/wife was fed up. He tried to quit cocaine, and it just made him drink more. One thanksgiving he woke up in his yard covered with blood (it was from a deer) and it freaked him out. He went into an outpatient program. They recommended AA. He got into it. He stopped going to meetings and started smoking pot. His wife left him and he tried to commit suicide. He went into another program. He decided to get back into AA. He got into another relationship with someone in AA, and it ended badly which made him stop going. He was in debt. After two hours of sobriety, he decided that he had it under control. He relapsed, and when he did it was as if he had never stopped. He felt like when he controlled his drinking, he didn’t like it, and when he liked it he couldn’t control it. [23:50] What’s your plan for getting past it? To try and stay connected with people. He might go back to school. He wants to help people somehow. He studied social work, which paid but was a heavy responsibility. He recognizes that if he can’t find balance he is at risk of losing his job. He’s thought about getting back into AA again. He is worried about the stigma. He’s worried about anonymity. [25:57] What are some lessons you have learned about yourself so far in this journey? He now believes that there is an all powerful god that c
Mon, December 24, 2018
RE 201: Alcohol, Calories and Your Waistline
Jeff, with over 38 days since his last drink, shares his story… During this festive holiday season, we will, no doubt, we encouraged to drink at one point or another. We can’t think ourselves out of long-term addiction, but in the moment, there are tools we can use to help gives us the ability to say no. Follow the drink, and play the tape forward. There is plenty of data behind us to help us make an informed decision. If I have this drink, what will happen? Remember why you quit in the first place and remember all of the positive benefits you have experienced from sobriety. We all know alcoholic beverages can pack in the calories, but does alcohol have any nutritional value? It’s safe to say that a Twinkie has more nutritional value than any alcoholic beverage. By not drinking, you are not denying yourself of any vital nutrients. In fact, alcohol inhibits general digestion in a big way. SHOW NOTES [8:57] Paul Introduces Jeff. Jeff has been sober for 38 days. Jeff is 27 years old, from Quebec City, Canada. He has a corporate job and also works in digital marketing. He is trying to transition to doing his digital job full time. He owns a dog and enjoys sports and reading. [10:30] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started when he was 13 years old. He never felt in control. He was shy and insecure. Marijuana was his drug of choice for a long time. When he would try to quit smoking marijuana, he found himself drinking more. When he would travel for sports he would notice that eventually he would revert to the same substance abuse patterns. [13:10] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? Most recently, a few days before his quite date. He went to a bar with the intention of only having a few drinks but ended up staying the entire night, consuming many drinks and then driving home afterward. He feels that one can’t quit until the subconscious figures out there is a problem. He needed to re-evaluate his relationship with alcohol. He started with a 30 day sobriety challenge. He recorded a video of himself to help remind him of why he was quitting. He watched a lot of sobriety videos on YouTube. [21:30] Did you follow a program for your 30 day sobriety challenge? Yes, he followed a program from James Swanick. He sets a daily reminder to help keep him grateful and motivated. [27:27] Elaborate more about the idea that sobriety has to be a choice for a better life. Make sure that you don’t just stay home. Don’t deprive yourself of pleasures. You need the brain to realize that it can be sober if all sets of circumstances. He went to a hypnotherapist. He convinced him that everything had to be a conscious choice, and that there were choices happening in his life that he didn’t consider. He had to switch the words from “have to“ to “choose to”. [32:06] Have you had any cravings
Mon, December 17, 2018
RE 200: The Cure to Addiction
Walter, with 2½ years since his last drink, shares his story… The Cure to Addiction… Is it possible? Are we close to a cure? No. AA was founded in 1935, and since then we still don’t know what causes it or how to treat it. A holistic cure will attack/treat the root causes. The Rat Park experiment by Bruce Alexander points to the conclusion that the causes of addiction are social and environmental, rather than genetics or chemical dependency. In the study, the addictive tendencies were eliminated when the stress was reduced and the environment changed. Johann Hari’s Ted Talk says that the opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, it’s connection. Addiction is not about the pleasurable effects of substances, rather it is a symptom of the user’s inability to form deep connections with other human beings. The phenomena that is addiction will likely die out in a global community whose only borders are the sky. SHOW NOTES [16:19] Paul Introduces Walter. Walter is 47 years old, in Waco, TX. He’s been sober for over two years. He works in real estate. He is divorced and has a son. He likes hiking, movies and reading. He feels more present with his son now that he is sober. His son had just turned 3 when his wife left. [19:22] Give us a little background about your drinking. He came from an alcoholic family. Both his dad and uncle both died from alcoholism. His mom got sober when he was 15, right around the time he started to drink. He was a binge drinker. He went to a party school in Colorado. He moved back in with his parents and began to drink alone. He drank his way through his 20’s. In his 30’s, he married his drinking partner. They had a child. She didn’t want to be a mom. He wanted to clean up. They split. The first 90 days were tough. He also quit smoking. He relapsed but hasn’t relapsed since then. He is now serious about sobriety. He’s active in AA. He just went to Peru with Cafe RE. [25:15] At what point did your drinking partner relationship turn? They were a rebound relationship. They had a lot in common. She was a great adventure partner. They had a similar relationship with alcohol. They helped each other hide drinking from other people. He feels the presence of his son saved his life. [29:40] Did you try to moderate? Did you experience a rock bottom moment? He definitely tried to moderate. He always knew about recovery because of his mom. When he drank at a friend’s house he woke up and realized he had a problem. He and his wife got divorced. They made it painless, and were both fair. They focused on their son and his needs. He’s glad he didn’t stay married to another alcoholic. [34:11] How did you know that this time w
Mon, December 10, 2018
RE 199: This Mindset is Key to Sobriety
Asaph, with over 6 weeks since his last drink, shares his story… A link to the mentioned Russell Brand podcast episode with Gabor Maté. Gratitude, what is it good for?... everything. Gratitude is a topic that needs to be continually covered in recovery. It’s a box in recovery that will never be checked, because it is ongoing. How do we create a mindset of appreciation? Apply some conscious attention to the things in your life that are there for you, whether it be people, or your left elbow. Don’t take things or people for granted. Remove or avoid the sources of negativity in your life. Gratitude is good for our brains. It positively stimulates the hypothalamus. We can’t function without grace. We are wired to be a grateful species. It’s easy to be thankful for the good things in our lives, but what about the not so good times? Gratitude can help us get through life’s challenges. In fact, we can even become thankful for them. Challenges and obstacles become our teachers and often send us on paths we wouldn’t always go down on our own. We can, and must, find joy in everything. SHOW NOTES [11:58] Paul Introduces Asaph. Asaph is 37 years old from Windsor, Ontario. Sober for over 6 weeks. He was raised in a cult called “The Children of God”. He lived in India, and had 5 children. He and the wife split, and that’s when he began to drink heavily. He’s a waiter, though he pursues art as a professional career. [16:15] Give us a little background about your drinking. He began to hit the bottle hard when his marriage fell apart. He was around age 31 when he had his first drink. He left the cult around 28. He remembers alcohol being a guide, allowing him to be himself. When he explored recovery, he learned that he had a lot in common with other people. He tried to moderate, etc. He would black out and swear that he would never drink again. He found himself going against his word. [23:13] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? He feels that he had many. He realized that rock bottom was a moment when one decides that enough is enough. [25:20] How did you finally end up quitting? His sister helped him sign up for rehab. She convinced him that he had a problem. He had many relapses. He realizes that he can learn from them. [30:30] What are some of the lessons you have learned in relapse? We need one person to be 100% vulnerable and honest with. He needed to get out of his own head a bit. He finds it spreads into other relationships as well. [32:45] What is a typical day in your recovery look like? He listens to recovery podcasts. He enjoys Cafe RE. He recognizes when he wants to feel isolated. His default setting is alone. He needs human contact to keep a more positive perspective. </p
Mon, December 03, 2018
RE198: The Importance of Letting Go
Patrick, with 10 years 2 months since his last drink, shares his story. SHOW NOTES [10:50] Paul introduces Patrick Patrick is 37 years old, and is from Brooklyn, New York. He’s been sober since August 23, 2008. He is married and has no children. He works as a stand up comedian, recovery coach, and a video editor. He likes to try to squeeze in a good meal between shows, visit friends, and snowboard. He would like to get better at rollerblading. [14:08] Give us a little background about your drinking habits He did not drink until his freshman year in college, because he has a family history of alcohol abuse. When he tried alcohol for the first time, he loved the way it made him feel. Alcohol became problematic within his first year of drinking. When he was drunk, he became unpredictable: he was the guy who took off his clothes and climbed buildings. Despite getting warnings from counselors, he continued to drink for the next 8 years. [30:40] What finally made you make that decision to go into sobriety? While at a baseball game, he told his friends that he wasn’t going to drink. His buddy said, “but you can have just one,” and Patrick said, “of course I can have just one.” 6 hours later, he was ejected from a bar for being too intoxicated. The next morning, his girlfriend told him that he had to move out. That became his sobriety date. [41:00] In the last 10 years, have you noticed any cross addicitions? He definitely needs to look out for working too much and not eating in a healthy way. When stressed, he turns to ice cream. He’s realized that since he was a kid, he’s tried to change how he feels on the inside by using things on the outside. [44:10] Is there something that you have done differently while getting sober? He would have gone to 12 step meetings immediately. Learning the idea of doing the next right action sooner. [ 48:48 ] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The trip to Italy when he became “a monster” and his girlfriend threatened to leave early. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? He was moving out of an apartment a few years before he got sober, and he realized that no one, neighbors, roommates was unhappy that he was leaving What’s your plan moving forward? Staying true to sharing his story through his comedy What’s your favorite resource in recovery? The phone. Calling other sober people and being available . What’s the
Mon, November 26, 2018
RE 197: This is What Recovery Looks Like
Aaron, with over 1 year since his last drink, shares his story... SHOW NOTES [12:30] Paul Introduces Aaron. Aaron is 39 years old, from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. He’s been sober since October 16, 2017. He’s married with two children. He works in HR and Recruitment for a small company. He likes home improvement, the outdoors, gardening. He likes to restore and repair his house and cars. [15:30] Give us a little background about your drinking habits. He has drank every day more or less since college. There was a strong drinking culture at his college. He made a lot of friends through drinking. It extended to his work after college. He associated alcohol with being social. Alcohol made its way into all of his activities. He didn’t know how to regulate it. He struggled to care for his children while he was drinking a lot. He couldn’t concentrate and was getting cold sweats. He decided to start regulating. He read a book that asked him to regulate but it didn’t work for him. He realized that he need to change. [19:53] Did you have a rock bottom moment? Many. He skipped along the bottom. He always had a way of getting out of trouble, which gave him a false sense of accomplishment. Rock bottom for him was realizing that his life had become unmanageable. He would have beers in his basements, and he called them his “morning beers”. He realized that it wasn’t where he wanted to be. He went to his first meeting, and he judged everyone there. He started to get something out of it by the time he was in his 3rd meeting. While in recovery, he started to feel like he had a split personality. He was cleaning out the garage and he found some camping gear. He found a box of alcohol. He pulled it out decided to hide it. He would lie about going out to his garage to work on something, but he was really going out to drink. He felt bad because he was lying about it. He argued with himself out loud and realized he had a problem. He went to a meeting and was honest about his relapse, and since then he has been sober. He began to work with his AA program. He started to understand himself a lot more. He became more in touch with his intuition. He’s realizing that it’s more important to be in the now. He now knows that his intuition will know what to do in situations that would previously baffle him. He’s less stressed and much more happy. He has more responsibility, but life has gotten more fun. [30:21] How have you started to change your inner dialogue? He started to get into emotional intelligence. It is a way of living that has many parallels with the 12 steps. He realized that his past didn’t have to affect his present. He realized that his suffering was all in his head. He started waking up earlier and going down to watch the sun rise. He found meditation and peace and he started to forgive himself. He realized that he was blessed
Mon, November 19, 2018
RE 196: How Normal Drinkers View Addiction
Dan, who doesn’t practice abstinence based recovery, shares his story… Link to the Fox News article mentioned in the episode “To be human is also to suffer from addiction. The particular vices vary as do our degree of addiction to them, but it takes precious little searching to know we’ve all got something unhealthy that pulls at us.” - Mike Kerrigan, Fox News SHOW NOTES [11:08] Paul Introduces Dan. Paul doesn’t practice abstinence based recovery, and had a drink a few weeks ago. He’s 28 years old and lives in New York City. He runs a channel called Recovery X and Spooky Digital. He does MMA. He has a family. He practices mindfulness. [12:48] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started drinking when he was 10. His brother was getting married, and his parents allowed him to have a couple drinks. He got really drunk. He got a lot of attention and had a lot of fun. His family started to warn him about alcoholism but he didn’t yet understand. He would occasionally steal his father’s prescription medicine. He had behavioral problems at a young age.. he would get in fights. He started a school riot between different grades. He always looked up to the trouble makers. They got attention. He has a big family, and he felt like he always had to fight to be noticed. He was kicked out of 8th grade for stealing money from another kid. He was sent to a private boarding school. He was kicked out for fighting. He went through all kinds of behavioral modification programs. He felt abandoned by his family. He noticed that his brother had a different strategy than him. [18:33] At what point did you realize that you were using alcohol to self-soothe? He wanted to keep getting kicked out of private schools until his parents would run out of options and send him to public school. He began to drink more once he got to high school. It helped him reduce his anxiety. He ended up getting arrested after a fight, and was sent to rehab in Los Angeles. It was his first experience with a sober lifestyle. He was 16. He saw young people in recovery. He stayed out there for a while and would go on and off about wanting to be clean. He was arrested after a drinking related incident that turned violent. Alcohol always lead to destruction in his life. He had a problem with his thoughts and feelings and emotions. He also had an inability to deal with stress and relationships. [23:53] Tell us more about the thinking problem. His experience has been that the drugs and alcohol have been the solution to the problem, which was thinking or avoiding his internal dialogue. He experienced a lot of internal conflict, different conflicting voices. Now he has to be really strict about what he thinks, and what he allows to come into his
Mon, November 12, 2018
RE 195: What Should the Bottle Say?
Corey, with 5 days since his last drink, shares his story… The mentioned article from the Irish Times SHOW NOTES [8:48] Paul Introduces Corey. Corey has been sober for 5 days. He’s from Minnesota, now lives in Boston. He’s 25 years old and is working full time. He likes to exercise. He loves music, plays guitar and piano. He has an upcoming trip to Columbia, is learning Spanish. He feels confused with life now that he has left the structure of school. [13:31] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started to drink a lot more during years in college. He started to experiment with weed in high school. He began to drink or party when he should have been studying. He didn’t realize there was something wrong at the time. He used his computer to avoid academic responsibilities. He was okay with it as long as he continued to deliver on his academic duties. He felt like he coasted through college and also began to coast through his first jobs. He found himself in the same behavioral patterns. He didn’t know where he was or what he was doing. He lost a romantic partner because of his partying. He drowned his feelings with drinking. The feelings came back up after a few months. He was caught in a weekly cycle of drinking and depression. He used a notebook to think out loud and he wrote down that he wanted to quit drinking and smoking to be comfortable with who he was. He devised a plan. Last year he tried to knock out one of the three (weed, tobacco and alcohol). He was so focused on change that he was able to quit tobacco. Before a family trip he felt suddenly depressed. He began to drink alcohol to try and cope with his feelings. [22:10] How were you able to quit all 3? He set a new year’s resolution to quit alcohol. He ended up getting a therapist and it has helped a lot. He went down to New Orleans and it broke his sobriety streak. He felt guilty. He let himself down. He is now searching for a way to enjoy friendships without booze being involved. Over the summer, he loosened his grip on quitting a little bit he hasn’t been able to shake it. He went to a Halloween party and was drinking, and didn’t feel good. He just decided to leave. At home he was depressed and began googling ways to end his life. He feels that is his rock bottom. [29:51] How will you manage your drinking on your upcoming trip to Maine? He doesn’t have a real concrete plan. He knows there will be temptation. He’s not sure what to do about it. He will try to text them and tell them that he won’t be drinking. [32:48] What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward? He bought some books. He wants to read those. He’s listening to podcasts. He wants to continue to learn and journal and continue to move
Mon, November 05, 2018
RE 194: Should I Identify With the Label Alcoholic?
Kellie, with 2 months year since her last drink, shares her story... SHOW NOTES [11:00] Paul Introduces Kellie. Kellie has been sober for 28 days. She’s 43 years old, married with two children. She’s a real estate broker that enjoys puzzles, reading, cooking, running and hiking, and her animals. She tried alcohol for the first time around 10 years old. She dabbled in different drugs in her teens. She drank through her 20’s. She had her son at 26. She cleaned up her act and became a stay at home mother. In her late 30’s she had weight loss surgery. She was in the hospital and something happened to her brother. She bought a bottle of wine. Her drinking gradually escalated after that. [16:48] Would you say you had an issue with food prior to the surgery? Absolutely. She ate mostly healthy food but she would eat large quantities. Her drinking began to affect her son. She tried to moderate her drinking but it didn’t last very long. She finally went to an outpatient treatment for 3 and a half weeks. She was one of the only people there voluntarily and she didn’t like most of the people there. She was focusing on the negative. They would focus on the alcoholism in her family. [22:30] Tell us about the transfer addiction. They are checking to see if you will switch to a different addiction rather than food. She feels that she has an addictive personality. She would run even if she was experiencing pain or other issues. [28:00] Tell us more about the outpatient program. Her drinking got progressively worse. She realized that she had to get it under control for her son and family. She was afraid of what her alcoholism would be like once she had an empty home. She experienced aversion therapy. She was slightly sedated, and they interview you. Because of the drugs she had to answer honestly. She did the electro shock therapy as well. They condition you to experience negative feelings from interacting with alcohol. It successfully eliminated the cravings. She was skeptical but now she thinks about it as a miracle. [33:22] It sounds like they are trying to punish or shame the alcohol out of people. Is that right? Even though the treatments were extreme, it was a positive environment over all. People were there because they wanted to be. The nurses and doctors were there to help you get and stay sober. They don’t focus on you being an alcoholic. They focus on you being sober. [35:08] What’s the “why” behind your addictive behavior? She knew why she was drinking. Substance abuse runs in her family. She and her siblings were abused mentally and verbally. The food became a coping mechanism. When it stopped working, the booze became a problem. She always knew why she drank. She attends meetings to take care of herself. The depression and anxiety is her why. Now she’s focusing on the why. Th
Mon, October 29, 2018
RE 193: Can I have a drinking problem and not be an Alcoholic?
Nel, with over 1 year since her last drink, shares her story… Drinking is more than the average habit. To reduce our problems with alcohol to a “bad habit” is missing the bigger picture. We drink for a variety of reasons.. for example: to cope, to ignore, to numb, to hide. Digging ourselves out of alcohol dependency actually requires the changing or removal of several habits. We need to change the way we relax. We need to change the way we deal with difficult emotions. We need to become more conscious, aware, and in the moment. We have to slowly remember the version of us that didn’t need anything to be okay. We have to change everything. When one finds themselves in the grips of alcohol, it probably takes more time, effort, and patience to return to our emotional center than it did to lose it. It doesn’t happen overnight, and there are many lessons to be learned along the way, but with patience, persistence, self-love and an open mind, we can find ourselves looking back on our time with alcohol as a distant and remote dream. SHOW NOTES [11:40] Paul Introduces Nel. Nel is 52 years old, from Shannon, Mississippi. She now lives in New York. She’s married. She’s a personal trainer that loves sports, particularly fantasy football. Dolphins are her favorite sea animal. [15:05] Give us a little background about your drinking. She started around 16. Her parents died when she was young. She had a chaotic upbringing. She could never relax. She started drinking after her parents died. It helped her relax and she loved it. She drank mostly on the weekends with the intention to get drunk. She went on to college and started drinking a lot more. She met her first husband her senior year of college. He helped her finish school. She was already beginning to drink a lot. She always knew that she drank more than other people. All of her friends drank. She has alcoholism in her family. She partied a lot in her 20s. She worked and took care of herself. Drinking remained a lower priority. She divorced her first husband in her early 30s. She moved back to Mississippi to be with her sister and help with her family. She felt happier generally, but was always managing her alcohol. She met her second husband at 35. She moved to New York. Her new husband was a normal drinker, and it made her realize how much she drank. It caught up to her, and began to experience physical symptoms and tried to switch to marijuana. She smoked pot “like she always wanted to drink”. She knew in her heart that she was making bad choices. She continued to function despite how she felt. She would blackout multiple times. She would experience “brownouts” after a few drinks. [22:47] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? She realized that she couldn’t trust herself anymore. She would get stoned and pick up her nephew from school and she realized she was going down
Mon, October 22, 2018
RE 192: Addicted to Thinking
Stephan, with 10 months since his last drink, shares his story… Harm Reduction - The feeling of constantly downgrading addictions. Most of us address one addiction at a time, and usually tackle what we perceive to be the most harmful addiction first. Things improve with each hurdle. The lessons we learn from each stage strengthen our ability to move on to the next stage. Often at the root of many of our addictive behaviors is essentially an addiction to thinking. The majority of our thinking is unnecessary and just causes mental noise. The thinking brain can take us to the worst case scenario in a matter of moments which can cause the body to respond with fight or flight. If adrenaline becomes the main fuel that we use to get through our days, over time we will find ourselves with sickness and disease. The key is to find a way to shut off the monkey mind without resorting to extreme activities like skydiving, etc. Practices that cultivate inner harmony like meditation, yoga, playing a musical instrument and a myriad of other endeavors that cultivate mindfulness can slowly calm the mind and switch off the incessant chatter. SHOW NOTES [10:15] Paul Introduces Stephan. Stephan is 33 years old and lives in Denver, Colorado. He’s married with a daughter. He owns a music school and is a freelance musician. He also plays golf. [12:40] Give us a little background about your drinking. He started after high school. He started to drink when he began working as a musician. He liked drinking at first. He tried to quit a few times along the way and began to suspect that he was an alcoholic pretty early. “Alcohol is the glue that binds phony friendships”. He would exercise and reward himself with alcohol. He used to live behind a bar and there was a crew of people that would go to the bar regularly. For a few weeks he only drank on Sunday. He began to feel a rift between the man he knew he was and his behavior. It was exhausting. His wife became pregnant and he used that as an excuse to drink every day. His wife would say “Do you remember what you said to me last night?” She knew he wouldn’t remember. He felt shameful that he couldn’t remember. There was a difference between what he knew he could be and what he was doing. [20:58] How did you ultimately end up quitting? He had several failed attempts. He stayed up at a wedding drinking by the fire. He woke up and he had bitten off some of his dental work. He felt like he was self-sabotaging. He had some oral surgery to get his wisdom teeth removed, and his first question was about alcohol. It all began to slowly add up. Then he found the Recovery Elevator podcast. He became mentally exhausted. [23:58] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? It all began to slowly add up. He became mentally exhausted. He knew he needed to be there for his new daughter. He couldn’t imag
Mon, October 15, 2018
RE 191: Sobriety Gets Easier and Easier and Ends in Life
Kelly, with 8 days since her last drink, shares her story… “Addiction gets harder and harder and ends in death. Sobriety is hard work too. But it gets easier and easier and ends in life. ” - Andy Ziegler In this passage to sobriety, expectations do not always line up with reality. In reality, it takes years for an addiction to take hold. The healing process takes equally as long. The negative thinking and behavioral patterns didn’t set in overnight, and won’t be lifted overnight. It’s like turning a battleship. We let go and reprogram gradually, a little bit each day, and that happens by making daily decisions that lead us down the road of self-love and health. SHOW NOTES [07:03] Paul Introduces Kelly. In Fort Myers, Florida, 32 years old, sober for 8 days. Happily divorced. She is a mother, has a 4-year-old daughter. She is learning who she is as a sober woman and mother. [9:06] What lead to your decision to do the interview? She wanted to keep trying different things until she found something that worked. She wanted to step out of her comfort zone, not feel ashamed, and not keep it from people. She wanted to share her story. She wanted to face her fear of vulnerability. She’s nervous, but ok. [11:32] Give us some background about your drinking. Her issues with addiction started quite some time ago. She started as a smoker at 15. Her first drink at 21. She dabbled in some other drugs. She was in a toxic relationship and she started to drink more to cope. She went on antidepressants. They got married and they started to do other drugs as well. They started doing heroin daily. She stopped two years ago. She got divorced and moved out. She moved into her own place. She started to feel lonely and began to drink more. She switched to liquor. She drank a lot during hurricane Irma. She would tuck her daughter in and wouldn’t remember. She gained about 35 pounds. She almost got evicted from her apartment because she used some of the money for alcohol. She found herself hiding in her bathroom doing shots one night. She was ashamed of her behavior. She realized that she and her daughter deserved better and she got clean for almost a month. On the 23rd day, she thought she would reward her sobriety with a drink then found herself back in the grips of alcohol. [21:50] Did you attempt to moderate? She did. She tried to limit her drinking to Friday happy hours. When she tried to stop and moderate, she realized that it was difficult. She realized she was craving alcohol. [23:38] Have you explored the deeper causes of your drinking? She had a crutch in life. Some sort of substance has helped her get through the difficult parts of her life. She thinks her life hasn’t even been that terrible. She’s been relying on substances. Her deeper issues are struggling to be a single mom, deali
Mon, October 08, 2018
RE 190: Is Any Amount of Alcohol Healthy?
Jamie, with 93 days since her last drink, shares her story… “No amount of alcohol is safe for your overall health.” “Alcohol was the leading risk factor for disease and premature death in men and women between the ages of 15 and 49 worldwide in 2016, accounting for nearly one in 10 deaths, according to the study…” A recent article released by CNN presents scientific studies that show the negative effects of alcohol consumption on one’s overall health.. delivering an opinion contrary to the largely pro-alcohol messages one typically finds in mainstream media. SHOW NOTES [9:15] Paul Introduces Jamie. Jamie is 39, from Alberta, Canada, and has been sober for 93 days. She works in the school system and teaches fitness. She is single, with two boys and dogs and cats. [10:51] Give is a bit of background on your drinking. She started drinking when she was 12 years old. She wanted to fit in with the bad kids. Once she became old enough she drank much more. She got married and had a child. She lost her husband in a car accident, and her drinking increased. During her idle time she would drink heavily. She met someone who drank like she did. Her social circles also drank heavily. When she had large stretches of idle time she would drink a lot. One particular summer was extra heavy. [16:55] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? Her social circle was large, so there was always someone to drink with if she needed a new drinking buddy. She kept saying yes to drinks with people. She would get wasted 3, 4, 5 days in a row. She began to track her drinking on her calendar. She realized she was only drinking and recovering. She tried to join a fitness program but only lasted two weeks. She got another two weeks free and she drank the whole time. She tried dry January but only lasted 23 days. She began to moderate by saying no beer. She booked a vacation, and got blackout drunk the first night. She drank the entire trip and cried the whole way home. She tried the fitness program again. She tried dry January, in which she tried to quit smoking, drinking, and begin a healthy diet at the same time. She began bullet journaling. She went to see Tony Robbins. She created a program to keep herself in check, then she would binge on the weekends. She had a horrific morning after a night of binge drinking. She met a sober mom, and immediately didn’t want to hang out with her. She called her and she recommended a counselor. She went to see an addiction counselor. She didn’t want to stop drinking. He mentioned the word “alcoholic” and she denied it. She went to her first meeting and she had a breakthrough. [33:25] How did you quit? She went to her first meeting, and it was full of influential AA people. Lots of milestones, and she figured out she belonged there.
Mon, October 01, 2018
RE 189: Happiness is Right Around the Corner, and Then the Next Corner.
Sarah, with 162 days since her last drink, shares her story… “When this happens, then I’ll be okay.” You may already be living the live you have been dreaming about. Try not to fall into trap of “when this happens, I’ll be okay.” “When I get another month of sobriety”, or “when I move to another town”, or “when I get the right X” are all common examples of not living in the present moment. Stop for a moment, take stock in the good things you have around you and try your best to find the magic and happiness you seek in the moment you’re in, right now. Once you bounce back from the effects of alcohol, you might just notice that you already have enough. SHOW NOTES [7:50] Paul Introduces Sarah. Sarah has been sober for 162 days. Sarah is from England. She is divorced, with two kids. She is still figuring out what she does for fun. She loves camping, nature, the outdoors. She has a sober boyfriend. She recently quit her job in retail management and is now running her own little cleaning business. [11:15] Give us a little background about your drinking. She didn’t realize she had a problem until recently. She grew up in a drinking family. She feels that people who don’t drink are a bit of an outcast. Her drinking got out of control as an expat. She lived in a dry state in India, and drinking became something she could obsess over even more. She had her two children and quit for those pregnancies. Straight after they were born she returned to the wine. It escalated slowly and she was blind to how dangerous it had become. She was having 5 glasses of wine most evenings. She bought into the “mommy needs wine” culture. She looked at it as a daily reward. There were several red flags over the past few years. [15:50] What were the red flags that popped up? She was suffering from bad anxiety. At the time she didn’t realize it was from her drinking. None of her doctors would diagnose her with anxiety, despite her asking them to. One doctor probed into her drinking and figured out it that her drinking was the root of her anxiety. The idea of stopping drinking was crazy to her at the time. She received a solution to her problem but it wasn’t the solution she wanted at the time. [18:05] Had the idea of stopping drinking ever cross your mind? No, but it planted a seed in her brain that started to grow. It took her two years to get the point of stopping. Before that she was having a whole bottle of wine every single night. She knew there was a problem but deep down she didn’t know what she could do about it. [20:42] Was there a specific time where you knew what to do but couldn’t do it? Many times. She felt like she was stuck down a hole and someone had removed the ladder. She had these feelings daily. She was feeling physical symptoms of drinking in excess. She knew it was inevitable that she had to stop.
Mon, September 24, 2018
RE 188: The Only Line We Cross That We Can't Come Back From
Tamara, with 88 days since her last drink, shares her story… “There is only one line we can cross that we can’t come back from” The National Suicide Prevention Hotline – 1-800-273-8255 SHOW NOTES [4:20] Paul Introduces Tamara, and she recaps her experience with relapse and suicidal thoughts. Tamara had a relapse after 48 days of sobriety. She just moved to a new apartment. She started the day running errands, then had a conversation with her sponsor. She was alone, felt lonely and bought vodka. She started to drink by herself. She felt guilty because she is aware of the support structures that are in place, but she still witnessed herself resorting to alcohol to try to soothe her emotional pain. She thought she had exhausted all of her options. She began to have suicidal thoughts. She recorded a goodbye message to her family. She cut her wrist and sent the message. Her parents received it and tracked her down. They got in tough with her roommate. Her roommate and her mother stopped her bleeding. She went to the ER, and a mental hospital. She realized she didn’t want to die, and that she had to change something. She found a treatment center. She stayed there for 4 weeks. Reliving it, she is reminded that she isn’t broken. She realizes how powerful alcohol is and it will take you if you let it. She didn’t know what she was living for. In the treatment center, she worked through her life experience. She didn’t consider herself a trauma victim, but then realized that she had just been ignoring some things from her past. Her pride crumbled. She was able to see just how loved she was. She was able to see the role of God in her life. She finally saw her love and worth. She felt like she came out of hiding. She doesn’t have to hide parts of herself that she struggles with. There are people in her life that accept her exactly as she is. She had to rebuild her self-image and identity. She wants to come out of her shell and live her life out in the open. She didn’t know who she was anymore. The emotional rawness from her experience enabled her to open. She realized that she is not the orchestrator of everything in her life and that there are parts of her life that she can not control. She began to focus on the present moment and not worry beyond that. [29:45] Talk to us about the letter you received from your employer right before you left. She had been feeling a bit out of place at her job. She took on and internalized expectations and pressure. She was open to changing everything else but she wanted to try and apply herself at her job. She received a package from her employer, and it turned out to be a letter of termination. She felt hurt. She cried but realized that she had to rebuild completely from scratch and feels like it was a gift from god. [36:30] Tell us about what you found that can never be taken away. She realized that no matter what is
Mon, September 17, 2018
RE 187: The Most Important Journey You'll Ever Take
John, with over 1 year since his last drink, shares his story… The Journey One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice – though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. “Mend my life!” each voice cried. But you didn’t stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do – determined to save the only life you could save. By Mary Oliver SHOW NOTES [8:45] Paul Introduces Randy. Paul is a musician from Helena, Montana. He’s been sober for over 1 year. He’s 41 years old. He’s married with two sons. For fun, he likes to turn his obsessive side toward healthy activities. He’s exploring moderation. He stopped drinking after a horrible hangover. He tried to have a beer after some after about 6 months of sobriety. He realized that everything kicked back in. He got sober with willpower but realized that he can’t stay sober with willpower. [17:09] At what point did you realize that you had a problem with drinking? He has alcoholism in his family. When he started to perform in bands at 19, he refused to drink. When he moved to Montana, he discovered craft beer and the surrounding culture encouraged him to drink. In 2011 he quit drinking for 14 months. He considers himself an extrovert and gets charged up by talking to people. He realized that his drinking was an extension of his lack of emotional intelligence. He got tired of playing “hide the bottle”. He began to go to bed drunk every night. Hid digestion was a mess. [25:13] What did you find was at the root of your decision to quit? His body hurt. He was sick and tired of sick and tired. Telling people that he was sober was strange because he had histories with his bandmates. He changed his internal dialogue to harness his stubbornness, so he could use it to stay sober. [28:07] Tell us more about the moment where you felt the weight drop off your shoulders. He felt like he was coming to terms with the loneliness in his own heart.
Mon, September 10, 2018
RE 186: Alcohol Gives us the Wings to Fly, Then Takes Away the Sky
Angie, with 146 days since her last drink, shares her story… “Alcohol gave me the wings to fly, then took away the sky” SHOW NOTES [5:30] Paul Introduces Angie. Angie is 36 years old, lives in Atlanta, GA. She has been sober for 146 days and is the proud owner of 2 dogs. She loves live music, the theater and the movies. She enjoys cooking. She now enjoys her own company. [7:06] Give us some background about your drinking habits. She never drank in high school or college. She started when she was in her early 20’s. Drinking gave her confidence. After a divorce in 2012, she attempted suicide and her drinking also ramped up. She was having between 6-10 drinks a night. She felt like she was barely surviving. Her move to Atlanta did not cure her drinking, but it helped her to realize she had a problem. [10:25] Did you ever have a rock bottom moment? She was sick and tired of being sick and tired. She never really wanted to stop, but she had a rock bottom moment when she drank before work. She was blacked out drunk and spoke with two of her bosses. She realized that she didn’t have it under control. She would attempt sobriety and then crash into relapse. She associated alcohol with love. She wrote a goodbye letter to alcohol. [16:05] What did it feel like to formally say goodbye to alcohol? She felt empowered. She spent a lot of time wishing things in her life would be different. She realized that she had all the tools she needed within her. Her life got a lot easier. She changed her relationship with her internal dialogue. [18:15] How did you quit? She wanted to change but wasn’t really searching for community. She struggled with sobriety on her own. She relapsed and thought it was the end of the world. She finally realized that she can’t do it alone she began to connect with people. She went to AA. She went to Smart Recovery. She organized a sober meetup. Letting people in to help her has been her 146 days. [21:16] Talk to us about why you were unable to attend the Dallas meetup. She relapsed right before and felt like she couldn’t go. She felt like she wasn’t worth it. She kept drinking for two more months. [23:02] Talk to us about your relationship to self-loathing. She has often struggled with self-loathing. She has always felt like she wasn’t good enough. She experienced a lot of self-hatred after relapse. She realized she wasn’t going to change or grow. She realized drinking was a symptom. She drank because she hated herself. She realized that she had to love herself in that moment. She had a new story to write which looked nothing like her past. She has started to meditate. She decided she needed to go to therapy and talk it out with people. She wanted the outside voices. [27:31] Walk us through a day in your recovery. What tools are you using?
Mon, September 03, 2018
RE 185: Is Tracking Continuous Sobriety Important?
Jennifer, with 568 days since her last drink, shares her story… Tracking your sobriety time – Do the numbers matter? To begin with, know that it’s not a competition. We’re going for quality over quantity! We quit alcohol because we want to improve our lives. The end goal isn’t in the numbers, but in the increase in one’s quality of life. Removing alcohol was the first step in a journey of getting to know ourselves, finding out what we really want from life and making the best of each and every day. The real tracker is how you feel about who you are, where you’re going and what is meaningful in your life. SHOW NOTES [9:52] Paul Introduces Jennifer. Jennifer is 36 years old from Cleveland, OH. She has 3 cats and runs a business walking dogs. [11:52] Describe to us your background with drinking. She started drinking at 15. She always thought it was normal to binge drink. She thought it was a part of youth. Her drinking held pretty steady until her mid 30’s. She realized that we live in a drinking culture. She has often struggled with codependency. She never thought she was the problem. She always thought it was other people. [16:29] Where was your lightbulb moment indicating you had to stop? 4 months before this recent attempt, she appeared on a podcast about addiction and codependency. She grew up with addiction in her family. She had to be the parent as a child. She had a negative image in her head of what an addict was, and because she wasn’t close to that image, she wasn’t able to see the progression of her own addiction. She began to realize that addiction has many forms by listening to other people’s stories and it gave her permission to acknowledge her own addictive behavior. [21:52] How were you able to finally make the change when the time came? She was exhausted by the idea of continuing to drink. Her own drinking behavior started to wear her out and she became tired and resentful. She wanted to be able to enjoy activities without alcohol. She went through a breakup and had to seek out grounding. Her hangovers were getting darker and more difficult. She began to fear the impact it was having on her health. She couldn’t handle the shame and embarrassment. She found Recovery Elevator and it helped give her the confidence to try and quit. She realized that she’s not alone. She didn’t really connect with AA when she tried it. Her first year of sobriety she kind of transferred her alcoholism to workaholism. She didn’t realize there were options other than AA. She didn’t realize how much she needed people until she started talking to other people about being sober. [31:30] How did you manage your early recovery? She became hyper focused on her work. She tried to avoid social situations so she could avoid alcohol. She lost some friends. [35:05] What are you working on now in sobriety?
Mon, August 27, 2018
RE 184: The Greatest Miracle of All Time
Paul, with 28 days since his last drink, shares his story... The article mentioned in the episode introduction: Science Increasingly Makes the Case for God - Wall Street Journal SHOW NOTES [10:57] Paul Introduces... Paul. Paul is from St. Paul, Minnessota. He's 67 years old, retired. He is married with 2 kids, and 2 grandchildren. He hosts an internet radio show. He enjoys cooking and films. [13:18] Describe your drinking history. In his 20s, he feels that he was a normal drinker. Sometimes to excess with a bad hangover, but usually a moderate amount. During his first marriage, his wife didn't drink as much. He started to experiment with stronger mixed drinks. His second wife died of breast cancer, and he was a caretaker for her. He used drinking to deal with the pain. He married again a third time and didn't feel compelled to drink too much. It started to creep back in. His office culture encouraged drinking after work. He gradually switched from beer to whiskey. He tried to moderate but not drinking during the day. He began concealing his drinking from his wife. He's tried to quit a few times in the past few years. His habits got progressively worse. [19:10] What was different about this last attempt to quit? After a doctor's appointment, he was shocked at his high blood pressure. He kept drinking. He started to suffer from diabetes. His doctor said it was okay to drink a little bit each day. He used that as an excuse to ramp back up. He had quit before with determination, but this time it felt different. He is exploring the painful periods of his past, and trying to find out the connection to his drinking. He thinks it has something to do with being verbally abused as a child. The alcohol has helped him relax. He thinks his anxiety is wearing off gradually. [28:00] Describe your present relationship with anxiety. He feels as if something bad is going to happen, irrationally. He feels an unease, an inability to relax. A few months ago, he was going to go on a trip to Ireland. He had a lot of anxiety about the trip and it worried him. He just started drinking again to manage the anxiety. [32:10] How did you achieve 28 days this time around? He did some research. He found an article by Roger Ebert about his struggle. He did more research and found Cafe RE. He's learning new ways to deal with his emotions that don't involve drinking. [34:53] What's on your bucket list in sobriety? He would like to travel. He wants to learn how to ride horses. He wants to take some guitar lessons. He wants to put more work into his radio show. He plays vintage and eclectic music. [38:32] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from
Mon, August 20, 2018
RE 183: Be Yourself; Everyone Else is Already Taken
Jason, with 178 days since his last drink, shares his story... “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.” – Robert Collier “It’s difficult to believe in yourself because the idea of self is an artificial construction. You are, in fact, part of the glorious oneness of the universe. Everything beautiful in the world is within you.” – Russell Brand “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” – Zen proverb “It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” – Agnes Repplier “If things go wrong, don’t go with them.” – Roger Babson “Recovery is not for people who need it, but for people who want it” – Anonymous “When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. Believe me, it has nothing new to say.” – Unknown “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard “If you can quit for a day, you can quit for a lifetime.” – Benjamin Alire Sáenz “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde “I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear.” – Rosa Parks “When was the last time you woke up and wished you’d had just one more drink the night before? I have never regretted not drinking. Say this to yourself, and you’ll get through anything.” – Meredith Bell “The Pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow” – Anonymous “The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost “Your heart is leading you in the right direction. Quiet the mind and follow. “ – Paul Churchill “Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” – Babe Ruth “Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it.” – J. Petit Senn “Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.” – Bernard Williams “What is addiction, really? It is a sign, a signal, a symptom of distress. It is a language that tells us about a plight that must be understood.” – Alice Miller SHOW NOTES [11:50] Paul Introduces Jason. Jason is 46-year-old social worker from Connecticut He's married with two children. He likes the outdoors, soccer, kayaking, fishing,and hiking. [14:00] Give listeners an idea of your drinking background. He started drinking in high school. It escalated when he went into the navy. After the navy, his drinking settled into a regular pattern which slowly escalat
Mon, August 13, 2018
RE 182: Creating Gaps in our Thinking
Chris, with 96 days since his last drink, shares his story... In sobriety, it's possible to become more in tune with the inner workings of our minds. By stopping the intake of a numbing substance, our minds and bodies become more sensitive, and with that sensitivity comes a glimpse into the processes and systems that run under the hood. Our emotions and how we handle them (or, in early sobriety, often we will see how our emotions are handling us!), the physical sensations that return as our body heals, and how our subconscious mind has an impact on our every waking moment. In practices like meditation, we can begin to see how our thoughts can interrupt our every waking moment. As we examine further, we can see that thoughts have a big impact on how we see ourselves, the world and, ultimately thoughts can make up who we are. To learn to manage your thoughts, follow Paul's first steps: - Trust that your body knows best. - Your mind is a secondary organ to your body. You may think you are in control, but the mind is a tool that works for the body, not the other way around. - Learn to quiet the mind. - In the early stages of recovery, especially, it's important to recalibrate your sense of stillness. Chances are in the throws of addiction you have lost your center. - Don't get hooked – When you become aware of a thought entering your mind, simply notice it for what it is and let it float by. You can use a safe word to remind you to come back to the present moment. “Here”, “Stop”, “Thoughts..” SHOW NOTES [12:48] Paul Introduces Chris. Chris is 37 years old, lives in Arizona. Chris is married with two kids, has two dogs, is a musician and likes to ride his motorcycle. [14:33] When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking? Why did you decide to quit? He realized that alcohol had a hold on him. He couldn't stop. It was affecting everything. He felt like the party was over. He went to get beer after his kids were asleep. Suddenly he realized that if he had gotten a DUI, no one would be able to take care of his kids. He asked a friend in recovery to help him get cleaned up. He started going to AA. He would get 30 days and then relapse. He worked at a bar and was drinking non stop. It started to take a toll on his body. [18:56] When did your attempts to quit begin to get some traction? He would try to moderate. He switched to wine. They moved to Arizona, and he wanted to use the chance to get clean. He found himself isolated and depressed, and anxious. He used his exercise to earn his drinks. He kept repeating the cycle. [21:23] What are your thoughts on the “geographical cure”? He thought he was going to start over in a new place, and leave the negativity behind. He started working quickly after the move. Anxiety started to set in, he felt uncomfortable being alone and bored. He turned to alcohol. Alcohol was
Mon, August 06, 2018
Re 181: Water is all you Need
Jodi, with over 100 days since her last drink, shares her story... You’d think that when dealing with something as simple and common as water, there couldn’t be any confusion. Water is water, right? It turns out that not all waters are created equal. Water comes in many forms and despite what you might think, the differences aren't just regional nomenclature. There are distinct differences between these types of water, and while they are somewhat slight, they’re enough to merit their own name. Here’s what you need to know: Mineral Water Sparkling mineral water comes from a natural spring which contains various minerals, like salts and sulfur compounds. It's defined by its "constant level and relative proportions of mineral and trace elements at the point of emergence from the source." Minerals aren't added to this water and neither is carbonation (with the exception of San Pellegrino , which has additional carbonation added by the bottler). That means that the bubbles in these bottles are completely natural. You would typically drink this water as is (not mixed in a cocktail), since it's a tad expensive and has a slight mineral-y taste. Seltzer Water Seltzer water is just plain water that has been artificially carbonated. This water, which contains no sodium salts, gets its name from the German town of Selters , which was renowned for its natural springs. Seltzer water was first introduced as a cheap alternative to sparkling mineral water -- and it still is an economical option today. Club Soda Seltzer water and club soda are very similar, but there is a notable difference between the two. Unlike seltzer, mineral-like ingredients are added to club soda to enhance the flavor. If you look on the list of ingredients, you'll likely see potassium bicarbonate and potassium sulfate listed. Tonic Water Just because it contains the word water in its name and is carbonated doesn't mean that tonic water is in the same category as bubbly waters. Unlike the other carbonated options, tonic water has a distinct flavor and it certainly can't be swapped out for carbonated water. Tonic water is a bitter drink, a result of the addition of quinine , which pairs particularly well with gin. Also unlike the other waters, Tonic contains calories -- about 130 for 12 fluid ounces . SHOW NOTES [9:05] Paul Introduces Jodi. Jodi is 34-year-old artist and musician living in Detroit, Michigan, with her dog. She has a podcast
Mon, July 30, 2018
RE 180: What Lies Ahead
Craig, who has been sober since 9/21/16, shares his story. The unprecedented success of this podcast mirrors a simple approach to recovery. Just show up and continue to show up. The future of Recovery Elevator is promising! The plan is to migrate the growing community over to a private forum and away from facebook. The focus will be on creating many local groups, in-person meet-ups, sober travel, and sobriety events . SHOW NOTES [14:00] Paul Introduces Craig. Craig is 40 years old, from central Scotland. He's married and a father of two. He works in flooring and is a part time Taekwondo instructor. [16:53] When did you realize you first had a problem with drinking? He started when he was about 14. His family moved a lot. Alcohol was a big presence. His first binge was extreme and he had to go to the medical center. He started to drink a case per night. Eventually whiskey entered the picture. He became more isolated. He couldn't relax without alcohol. He would drink with colleagues after work and it progressed into something very difficult to control. [23:07] How did you achieve your 9 weeks during your first attempt at sobriety? He ended up in the hospital after a suspected heart attack. After some liver tests the doctor gave him a pep talk. His first attempt was sheer will power. [24:48] What led to the following relapse? He wanted to celebrate his 9 weeks by drinking. After he did not really try to self moderate. Eventually after a binge on a trip to Mexico he woke up with a painful hangover and decided that he couldn't do it any more. He sought out recovery sources online and discovered the podcast. It resonated with him. He realized he wasn't alone. [27:47] Once you made the conscious choice, how did you stop? His realized he was a bad example for his son. [29:40] What were some of the other recovery resources you found? Recovery Elevator, also Omar and Shane Ramer, the Sober Guy podcast, and the Share Podcast, the Good Dad project and Sean Croxton's Quote of the Day. [30:30] Walk us through the early stages of your recovery. He had two difficult episodes with Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptom (PAWS). Fatigue, mood swings, depression, anxiety, loss of concentration. The first one was about six weeks sober. He went to his doctor and said he wasn't feeling well. The doctor suggested AA. He realized there is life after drinking. [35:39] When did you begin implementing what you learned into your recovery? He started listening to motivational podcasts in addition to recovery podcasts. He started to see things in a different light. He joined different online communities and enjoyed being able to bounce different ideas off people in the forums. He examined his internal dialogues and focused on self love. [40:36] What advice do you have for someone who is o
Mon, July 23, 2018
RE 179: Fear – Future Events Appearing Real
Problems are a part of life. When one problem is resolved and filed neatly away a new one arrives to take its place. At times, our problems in life may seem overwhelming. When the pressure is on and things get difficult, often our response is avoidance or escape. In sobriety we learn to neither rely on fight nor flight when things get tough. Instead, we consciously engage in the life long practice of facing our fears. We have a choice. With courage, acceptance and humility we can find the strength to deal with our problems. Kelsey, with 94 days since her last drink, shares her story.. SHOW NOTES [8:10] Paul Introduces Kelsey. Kelsey is 26 years old, from Utah. She lives in Phoenix, Arizona, with her boyfriend and two dogs. She manages a coffee shop and runs a business producing handmade clothing. She likes the outdoors and sports. Sewing has been therapeutic for her since she quit drinking. [10:56] What was your drinking background, and when did you first realize you wanted to quit? High school. She used to be scared of drinking. She used to have an eating disorder after a move to Arizona. Her drinking slowly progressed. She got a DUI in Arizona and served some time. She continued to drink after. It escalated. Her hangovers turned into withdrawal. She did outpatient therapy. She tried to get sober multiple times. Never really tried AA. [16:22] Did you experience one addiction morphing into a second? Yes. She went to therapy for the eating disorder and didn't really recover fully. Alcohol helped her feel better. It was a slippery slope. [17:30] What were your previous attempts to quit drinking? She tried cold turkey. It didn't work. She was searching for programs because she didn't like the higher power aspect of AA. She found “Moderation Management”. She didn't feel accountable. It's an online forum with a workbook. The rules never worked for her. [21:40] Why do you think you were drinking for a week straight? She was tired. Initially it was fun, but it became frequent blackouts and very negative. She is a busy person and it was difficult for her to sober up. Her brain was forcing her to use alcohol to relax. [23:20] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? She started at her boyfriend's show, and ended up drinking for a week straight. Her mother tried to help her. She had work obligations and the drinking got in the way. She tried to hide it from her mother. She's grateful that she didn't get into any accidents. [24:42] Was there more than just being sick and tired? She realized that she had other aspirations and she wouldn't be able to achieve them without removing alcohol from her life. She realized that the path of drinking would ultimately lead to her death. She chose life and happiness. [26:37] How did you implement the choice int
Mon, July 16, 2018
RE 178: Is knowledge alone enough to quit drinking?
Is knowledge alone enough to quit drinking? “To know and not to do... is not to know.” - Buddhist Proverb Are we able to successfully quit drinking by devouring books, blog posts, podcasts and internet articles? The facts about the dangerous nature of alcohol can be quite sobering. Though education is never a waste of time, knowledge alone is not enough to keep you sober. It can inspire, reinforce, or encourage you to quit, but it is not enough. Self knowledge is no match for our unconscious mind, which is where most of the internal workings of our addiction lie. Sobriety requires knowledge, action and community. Ky, with 10 months since her last drink, shares her story.. SHOW NOTES [10:40] Paul Introduces Ky. Ky is from 28 years old and is from British Columbia. She works 3 jobs and enjoys, cooking, comedy shows, movies, and crossword puzzles. [12:50] When did you first realize you had a problem with alcohol? She started drinking around 12 years old. She thought “This is it!” She thought it was something missing from her life. Now she realizes that many of the friendships she made through drinking were empty. She feels like she has been drinking most of her adult life. She feels like a baby in sobriety. Her dad was an alcoholic. He still drinks. In her early 20's she drank more after a sexual assault. She had an alter ego while drunk. She moved to Hanoi, Vietnam but found that she couldn't escape her alcoholism as she experienced a bump in income. Her drinking became more necessary. She eventually attempted suicide but kept on drinking. [20:50] What was your mindset like before your suicide attempt? She had felt stuck and empty for so long. She felt like she had been searching for something to make her feel good for her entire life. When she moved back to Canada she experienced a loss of purpose and increased boredom which lead to more drinking. She always assumed she would die at 27. Now she sees it as juvenile. [24:38] What was the thinking before you attended your first meeting? She really wanted it to not work. She went to an AA meeting just to give herself permission to drink after and she was blown away by how much she identified with the people there. The mental health side of her therapy has helped her. She's now able to decrease the negative voice in her head that tells her she isn't good enough or that she can't do it. [30:00] Are you living more in the present? Absolutely. She was blown away when her therapist said that she wasn't her mind. She started practicing meditation and has learned about deeper dimensions of life. [32:12] Walk us through your first few days of sobriety. It was really hard. The first week was difficult. She didn't realize how hard it was going to be. She would set appointments with herself to keep herself busy. She knew she needed to get s
Mon, July 09, 2018
RE 177: The Ego
Today we hear from Jade. She's 27 years old, from Kentucky and has had her last drink on April 14th 2018. The Ego: The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and unconscious mind. It is in charge of reality testing and gives us a sense of personal identity. The self concept. A collection of beliefs that serve as the foundation for our bearings in life. A healthy ego can serve to give us something to lean on when times get tough. We believe in ourselves and are capable of handling adversity or difficult emotions. An unhealthy ego can cause us a lot of problems. When an ego gets unhealthy, it can keep us from living in the present moment because we harbor beliefs about ourselves that aren't congruent with reality. Letting go of an unhealthy ego is a big step in recovery. Jade, with about 2 months since her last drink, shares her story... SHOW NOTES [11:15] Paul Introduces Jade. Jade is a 27-year-old liquor store manager from Kentucky. She has a dog, and enjoys the outdoors, playing the piano and reading. [13:00] When did you first realize that you had a problem with alcohol? She started at 16. She realized she had a problem at about 25. She was in a failing relationship and was dealing with a lot of stress. She turned to alcohol. She made a first quit attempt, and during those 40 days she realized that her relationship needed to end. After relapse, she made friends with people who drank as much as she did. Many parts of her life revolved around alcohol. Once she started she realized she couldn't stop. [17:40] How hard was it to only have 1 or 2 drinks? Once she started, if she couldn't continue she would get irritable. At first alcohol was very social, but eventually she didn't want to be around people when she was drinking. She started only getting drunk alone. [20:30] Did you make any attempts to moderate your drinking? She would skip if she was super hungover. She switched from beer and wine to liquor. She figured it was less calories and better for dieting, and more concentrated so it was quicker getting drunk. [22:50] How did you end up quitting? She had been trying for two years. She started reading and listening to podcasts. She browsed the r/stopdrinking subreddit. She figured out that she couldn't do it alone, and that she needed to join a community. She made the step to reach out. She didn't think she was worth sobriety and she didn't think anyone would care. She found out the exact opposite was true. It has been easier than she thought. The community made the difference for her. [27:45] Have you had any cravings? What did you do? She had many. She would post on Cafe RE and engage the community there. “Playing the tape forward” helped as well. The loss of control always bothered her when she was drinking. [29:35] What have you learned most abo
Mon, July 02, 2018
RE 176: Dating in Sobriety
“There are many excuses to drink... but no reasons.” “When you are an addict, the only line you can cross but can not come back from is death.” Dating and Sobriety Modern dating has us drinking more, but being less successful at it. Drinking can give us a false sense of connection. A 2014 Survey from Plenty of Fish found that 36.4% of singles drink before going out and 48.9% drink during the date. It's not entirely surprising that modern dating and drinking are so thoroughly linked. Having a conversation with a stranger can be difficult, whether the internet was involved in your meeting or not. People will drink to make themselves feel more relaxed, but in reality, all they are doing is slowing down their brains, dulling their senses and intuitions. Not drinking works in our favor. Jitters are your body's way of telling you that you care. Mating is natural, primal, and our bodies have developed mechanisms for sniffing out whether or not a potential mate will be good for us. When we drink, we are hiding parts of ourselves from our potential partner, as they are hiding from us. Real connections sprout from the roots of honesty and vulnerability. Believe that dating without drinking is possible. If you find yourself struggling with the idea of a sober meet up then you probably need more time to gain your sober footing before you venture out into the wild. In sobriety, an awkward date is simply that.. an awkward date. It just means that you have no natural chemistry with the person, and that's ok. Remember dating is about getting to know the other person. Ask questions, listen to the answers. See how you feel. Be patient, don't rush things. The opposite of addiction is connection. Zack, with 514 days since his last drink, shares his story... SHOW NOTES [12:19] Paul Introduces Zack. Zack is from Nebraska, lives in Colorado. He's married and loves the outdoors. [14:15] When did you first realize that you had a problem with alcohol? Mid 20's. He didn't want to end up like his father. His father drinks nightly. He realized that his friends were moving on with their lives. He kept trying to moderate or quit unsuccessfully. [17:00] Now that you know more about alcoholism, has your relationship with your father changed? Kind of. He said he will never end up like his father. He didn't start drinking until after high school. His father helped him get his first drink. [18:10] What did it feel like to crave alcohol? Irritable. He would work harder so he could get home quicker and open his first drink. Most of the time he was drinking alone. It started fun but he became lonely. [20:00] When were you finally able to quit? How? He got a DUI. He promised himself he wouldn't drink and drive. He wasn't able to give up the drinking, so he just stopped driving. He drank
Mon, June 25, 2018
RE 175: Anxiety and Alcohol
Alcohol and Anxiety Today we will look at anxiety and the role it plays in alcohol addiction. Anxiety is inevitable, but we can change what we do and feel about it, ultimately affecting the level of severity we experience and the frequency of attacks. It shows that we care about what is going on. Anxiety is a tool we inherited from our prehistoric past that let us know that we were in danger. It is useful and necessary, and is a natural part of life. Unlike normal anxiety, chronic anxiety does not have roots in the present moment. Chronic anxiety begins when the anxiety becomes our default modus operandi. The conscious mind focuses on the anxiety, fueling it and allowing it to expand and become consuming. We find ourselves on a hamster wheel of potential causes, cures, analyses, and ultimately, fear and discomfort. It surfaces for, as far as we know, no apparent reason. We make attempts to repress or sidetrack it. Drinking is one way that many try to deal with their anxious feelings. While we are drinking, it feels like our problems temporarily disappear. When we look more closely at the way alcohol changes brain chemistry, we see that all it does is slow us down and weaken our higher faculties. In the relatively short long term, alcohol usually makes our problems worse by increasing our anxiety and having a negative impact on our overall health. We have the ability to naturally rewire and change our brains. When we make the decision to quit drinking, over time we can reverse many of the negative effects on our brain chemistry and overall health. Our brains are able to find a new and more healthy version of homeostasis with less anxiety, less depression and more clarity. Chris, with almost 1 year since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [11:40] Paul Introduces Chris. Chris is 36 years old, a power plant operator, lives in North Dakota. He's married with two kids and a dog. He enjoys camping and boating, cooking, photography, and woodworking. [13:40] What is camping like now that you don't drink? Alcohol took over his life. Now he feels more present for his kids. He feels his life is more enriched. He enjoys more of nature. He is happy to have quit. [16:00] When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking? A while ago. He craved it since he started in high school. It started social, and it gradually progressed. In the military, he went to Korea when he was 21. Being far away from friends and family was difficult and and he drank more. He suffered from “terminal uniqueness”. He felt he was different from the people around him. We lie to ourselves and focus on the differences, further isolating ourselves from the community around us. [23:55] Did you ever have a rock bottom moment? How much were you drinking? He was drinking a case of tall beers almost every week. His wife had been giving him ultimatums
Mon, June 18, 2018
RE 174: Addressing Self Loathing With Compassionate Curiosity
Compassionate Curiosity: a way we can get to the root of why we drink. “ The problem's not that the truth is harsh, but that liberation from ignorance is as painful as being born. Run after truth until you're breathless. Accept the pain involved in re-creating yourself afresh.” - Naguib Mahfouz One of the biggest root causes of addition is self loathing. Feeling like we are not worthy or that we are in any way less than others is a belief often found at the center of our addictive behavior. The cure for self loathing is self compassion, or self love. Replacing the habit that is self judgment with forgiveness, the mental rigidity with an intention of being open, or the repetitive criticism with positive messages that we can do this are some of the first steps toward distancing ourselves from addictive tendencies. We begin with a process of self examination, wherein we compassionately do so without judgment. “There is no moving forward without breaking through the walls of denial.” -Gabor Maté Kim, with 1½ years since her last drink, shares her story... SHOW NOTES [1:30] Paul Introduces Kim. Kim is 37 years old from Arkansas. She's been sober over 1½ years. She's married with 3 kids. She works as a counselor. She enjoys her spending with her family, reading, and Kintsugi. [6:05] When did you first realize you had a problem with drinking? She experienced complications with her pregnancy. With that came a prescription of pain medication. After she went through the pain meds, she noticed that she couldn't stop drinking. [9:06] Did you try to put any rules into place? From her work with addiction, she knows that putting rules into place is addictive behavior. She was probably going through a half gallon of vodka per week. She attempted to quit throughout 2017.. nothing really stuck. [10:35] What were some lessons you learned in your previous attempts to quit? She has a stubborn personality. When she tried to quit using her will power, she failed. It scared her. She started researching different podcasts, and found Recovery Elevator. She was worried that she couldn't do it alone. She began to find other stories and realized that she was on a slippery slope. [13:20] How were you able to quit successfully? She realized that she needed to remove triggers. She tried to eliminate stress. She hired someone to help her with small duties. [15:50] How are you able to maintain professional distance in your job working with addicts? When you work in a field where you give to others, you have to make sure that you are ok first. You have to give to others what you can spare, not what you need. [17:00] Walk us through the early days of your recovery. The first month was difficult. She had lots of cravings. She tried to keep the memory of her difficult year close. She wo
Mon, June 11, 2018
RE 173: Burn the Ships
Burn The Ships For many people, the answer of what is it that is holding us back in our lives isn’t exactly obvious. The question of what is blocking us from obtaining that inner peace we deserve can be difficult to answer for some. The good news is that if you’re listening to this podcast, the answer is most likely alcohol is what’s holding you back any it may be time to “burn the ships”. Fran with 16 months since his last drink, shares her story... SHOW NOTES [8:00] Paul Introduces Fran. Fran is 43 years old from Indiana, but originally from Cleveland. She's married and a mother of 2. She's a program director and massage therapist. She is an entrepreneur and loves yoga and the outdoors. She also likes to work in her yard. She previously had 3 years of sobriety during her 20's. [11:15] What made you seek out a sober life initially? She injured herself as an athlete and then got into the restaurant business. Initially it was fun, but then she began drinking on the job. She realized her life was empty and she became depressed again. An ex of hers helped take her to a 12 step meeting. It worked until she stopped actively working on her sobriety. [14:14] What was your initial attempt at sobriety like? She was able to ground herself in who she was, with a clear mind at a very pivotal time in her development. She met other women in recovery and it felt a bit like a clique. She didn't feel like she fit in. After graduating college sober, she started doing some internet dating. She met her husband and relocated to Indiana. She had her first child, then started drinking shortly after the child was born. She felt dislocated. She transitioned back into semi-regular drinking, which eventually lead to excess. [20:02] Did you experience a bottom moment? She had many. She would fight with her husband. She blacked out at a baby shower. She fought with her family and her husband's family. [26:37] What was it like when you first quit drinking? It wasn't easy. It was a process that took time. Initially motivated by weight loss, she felt like she was talking about it all the time. She realized that she could not go a day without drinking. Her husband was suffering from throat cancer and she started taking his pot pills after he recovered. She tried to substitute them for alcohol. She thought pot could get her sober. [28:49] Did that help? No. The anxiety and depression was worse. She became suicidal. She went back into recovery. She started listening to Recovery Elevator. She hit the gym. She found herself back at AA. She's more committed this time, and this time it's “no matter what”. [33:26] What is your recovery portfolio like today? She focuses on gratitude. She reads and meditates. She does yoga before work. She realized that other people around her now have permission to focus on
Mon, June 04, 2018
RE 172: Bravery: Ready to Face and Endure Danger or Pain
Bravery: Ready to face and endure danger or pain. Showing Courage. Many times in life we come face to face with our next step. We can see clearly the path ahead that will lead to our next “level up”. We can know everything there is to know about our plight and circumstances. We can possess the very map that will lead us to the next door. But when the time comes, sometimes we hesitate to open it. In sobriety, you have to be willing to fail. People who seek sobriety are a particular kind of brave. They imagine another way to be and actively seek it out, even if it means going against the grain or swimming upstream. It's important to note that being brave and/or courageous does not mean being without fear. Feeling fear is not only normal, but it's an important part of the process. The growth we seek lies not in running from fear, but in embracing it and, if possible, learning from it. Fear can be a profound and necessary teacher. Bring brave and courageous means that instead of avoiding fear, we compassionately face it and move forward with it as an ally in our sobriety portfolio. Individual bravery becomes amplified and much more powerful when supported by the collective bravery of the sobriety community. Beth, with 6 months since her last drink, shares her story... SHOW NOTES [8:50] Paul Introduces Beth. Beth has been sober for just over 6 months. She's 39 years old. She's a mother of 3 from New Jersey. She's a special education teacher. She loves the outdoors, sports, art, and music. She is learning skateboarding from her 9-year-old nephew. [11:38] When did you realize you had a problem with drinking? She started drinking heavily in college in an attempt to deal with social situations and have fun. She always felt different from other people, and was also dealing with a recent death in the family. She had easy access to alcohol in school. She moved to New York City right before the attack on the World Trade Center. She used alcohol to deal with stress and difficult emotions. [16:40] Did you ever try to put any rules into place to moderate? Yes. She would try to regulate the times she could drink. She would try to regulate when she was allowed to drink hard alcohol. [18:25] How much were you drinking before you quit? She drank nightly. Red wine helped her deal with stress when dealing with her kid's homework. [20:15] Did you reach a rock bottom? She drank while taking her kids out for Halloween. She drank a lot and experienced a bad hangover. She began to worry about whether or not she was a good mother. She discovered the podcast and began to listen. She decided to become sober and joined Cafe RE. [26:20] What was it like at first when you quit? She was excited. She told a few close friends and family members. She wanted to get back into
Mon, May 28, 2018
RE 171: The Reality of Alcohol and Where it Can Take us
The path of sobriety is not always easy. Many of us will stumble, fall, relapse and find ourselves back at square one. It's not the end of the world. When we relapse, we have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes and, if necessary, reinvent ourselves. Tamara, with 48 days since her last drink, shares her story... SHOW NOTES [3:57] Paul Introduces Tamara. Tamara is 31 years old, from Nashville, Tennessee. For fun, she enjoys cooking, the outdoors, and spending time with loved ones. [7:00] When did you realize you wanted to quit drinking? Her first drink was on her 21st birthday. She drank through her 20s. She had alcohol abuse in her family. She thought her family was wrong by hiding alcohol from her. She thought it was fun. The progression of her alcoholism snuck up on her. She assumed it was healthy and normal. She went through a big period of change that left her unsatisfied. [15:30] Did you put any rules into place when you tried to quit drinking? Yes. She would try to limit other bad activities and use drinking as a reward. She tried to abstain for a month with a friend. She convinced herself to keep drinking. Each year the rules would narrow until she stopped trying to do her cleanses. She began to realize that she had a problem but she kept trying to fix other areas of her life, hoping it would fix her drinking. Her ex told her about recovery elevator. After listening she realized that she wasn't alone. [22:28] After drinking, what was it like without alcohol? Weird. She experienced physical withdrawal symptoms like anxiety. Then she felt great.. experienced a pink cloud. [24:40] Has everyone in your life been on board with your lifestyle change? No. Her family and coworkers have been supportive but not everyone. [26:45] What do you think brought on your relapse? What did you take away? She went on a work trip. Everyone else was drinking. She didn't yet have her recovery ingrained enough to handle the environment. She now is working on a more holistic recovery strategy. [29:23] Walk us through a typical day in your recovery. She tries to work on her recovery daily. She says the prayer of serenity. She meditates. She tries to avoid negative news and media. Her morning routine helps her stay in the right frame of mind to handle anything life can throw at her. [31:20] What have you learned about yourself in sobriety so far? She learned that she deserves the things that she wants. She sees more of the bigger picture now. She's not afraid to relate to different kinds of people. She focuses more on her values and ignores the noise. She makes more of an effort to show up and work on herself first. [32:50] What's on your bucket list in sobriety? She wants to work the steps. [33:30] Rapid Fire Round
Mon, May 21, 2018
RE 170: Plant Medicine and Ayahuasca
Please listen with an open heart and open mind. - Paul
Mon, May 14, 2018
RE 169: Has Addiction Always Been a Problem?
Has addiction always been a problem? Alcohol has been around for thousands of years, but has alcoholism? In Gabor Maté's book, “ In the realm of hungry ghosts” he states: “The precursor to addiction is dislocation... the loss of psychological, social, and economic integration into family and culture.. a sense of exclusion, isolation and powerlessness. Only chronically and severely dislocated people are vulnerable to addiction. The historical correlation to severe dislocation and addiction is strong. Although alcohol consumption and drunkenness on festive occasions was widespread in Europe during the middle ages, only a few people become drunkards or inebriates. So what happened?” Dislocation became more prevalent during the rise of industrial society in the 1800's. As traditional familial or cultural roles weakened, alcoholism became more widespread. The effects of this can be seen not only in the US on both immigrant and native populations, but also in the native aboriginal cultures of New Zealand and the rising number of addicts in China as it struggles during periods of rapid growth. Caroline, with over 1 year since her last drink, shares her story... SHOW NOTES [9:50] Paul Introduces Caroline. Caroline is from New Zealand, 40 years old, married and a mother of three. She enjoys reading, she is the new owner of a pub. [11:15] When did you first suspect that you had a problem with drinking? She started at 13 or 14. She knew pretty early that she drank more than most. As she got older she used drinking as a coping mechanism. She surrounded herself with other drinkers. Had an epiphany when she came upon the book “Mrs. D is Going Without” by Lotta Dann. It changed her definition of an alcoholic and made her reassess her own drinking. [14:25] Did you ever try to quit prior to your successful attempt? Did you moderate or put rules into place? She tried it all. She drank heavily in university. As she got older, the hangovers became unbearable and her depression got worse. She began to rethink her drinking in her late 30's. She tried to moderate with restricting the day of the week or the type of drink and it only got worse. [16:00] Was your drinking tied in with your depression? How were they linked? She would always feel shame and embarrassment the days following a bout of heavy drinking. [17:17] Did you experience a rock bottom moment? She had many. One that stood out, she was studying and driving into town with a hangover for the 4th week in a row. She realized that she can't moderate and that it was having larger consequences than she liked and she decided to quit. She quit for 100 days, thought she was cured, relapsed and went back to drinking. Then she woke up and realized she had a problem. She wasn't going to wait for something more serious to happen before she quit. [
Mon, May 07, 2018
RE 168: Alcohol Impacts More than Just Us
When we are in the throws of an addiction to alcohol, the effects go beyond just us. They affect our family and those closest to us. After running the podcast for 3 years, Paul has begun to notice patterns emerging. One of the biggest patterns he noticed might be the key to successful sobriety: Accountability. Getting sober can be daunting, and the people around you are owed an explanation. The act of saying it out loud not only makes it real, but makes others aware of what you are trying to achieve. They can help keep you on track when things get difficult, and if your drinking has hurt anyone else in the past, it can be the first step towards forgiveness. Telling the people in your life that you are trying to get and stay sober is probably the most important thing you can do to affect your chances of success. Amy, with 422 days since her last drink, shares her story... SHOW NOTES [9:30] Paul Introduces Amy. Amy is 33 years old, from Wisconsin, married with 3 kids. She works in human resources in healthcare, but is about to leave her job and focus on her family full time. She likes yoga, and the outdoors. [12:00] What are your plans now that you are sober? She wants to get more involved in her community. [13:00] When did you realize it was time to quit drinking? She was having a hard time moderating, was losing control. [13:33] What rules did you have in place during your moderating phase? She and her husband tried only drinking on weekends, only when at restaurants, only certain kinds of drinks, only on payday, etc. It didn't work. [16:30] Is your husband supportive of your decision to get sober? Yes. He helps by not drinking around her and by keeping alcohol out of the house. [17:07] When did you start drinking? In high school. It got out of control in college. She adopted a party girl personality. She was drinking 4 beers a night. It progressed into a problem once she went through her first divorce. She felt hopeless and used alcohol to cope. [21:57] How did you decide to quit? She was drinking daily, feeling terrible. Some good things began to happen and she felt that it lifted her out of her funk. She got a new job, which enabled her to pay down her debt and she started taking care of herself again. She fell in love. The drinking was still crazy and she couldn't control it. She tried to take a break, but it wouldn't work. She was writing a lot in her journal, then went on an 8-day binge. She woke up from that and had hit rock bottom. She decided to quit on that day.. the difference was that she was ready to accept her situation. [27:30] What was it like to reach the point of acceptance? It was liberating. Acceptance brought self forgiveness, which enabled her to start moving forward in a new way. [31:30] How did you do it? H
Mon, April 30, 2018
RE 167: Now This is Just Plain Wrong
The alcohol industry gives the government funds to prove light drinking is safe. In today's era of information overload, it can be difficult to sort the truth from the strong opinions. As the lines between journalism, science and advertising continue to blur, it can become difficult to know where to stand when one can find a seemingly reputable article or study to support any side of any opinion. The alcohol industry is no stranger to the ways of public relations. The NIAAA (National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism) is a government established institution that funds approximately 90% of research on the effects of consuming alcohol in the US. Regarding a recent study on the effects of light drinking, it is no surprise to find out that $67 million was provided by 5 big alcohol companies, most likely to ensure that the results of the study fell in line with their message that alcohol is good for you. Remember that alcohol is still poison, it's still bad for you, and consuming alcohol still has real consequences, despite the what the heavily funded opinions of the alcohol industry would lead you to believe. Daniel, with 128 days since his last drink, shares his story... SHOW NOTES [10:37] Paul Introduces Daniel. Daniel is 43 years old, has a girlfriend and an 8 year old daughter. He works in telecom sales and enjoys biking, running, and reading. [14:10] When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking? In his early 20s. Alcoholism runs in his family. He started drinking regularly in high school, then it became excessive in college. In his mid 20's he began drinking in solitude. [18:15] Talk to us about the 20 years you were drinking. There were phases where he would think he was okay because he was functioning, but he would occasionally binge drink. He drank less after he got married in his late 20s but it eventually ramped up again. When he was binge drinking he wouldn't eat. [20:28] When did you first attempt to quit? He started going to AA in his mid 20s but he wasn't ready. [21:10] Did you experience a rock bottom? Did you have a faulty off switch? No, it was gradual. He would drink before work. He slowly lost control as depression and anxiety set in. He finally talked to his family and decided to go to a inpatient detox facility. It was difficult to stop once he started. He started drinking again after 25 days sober, thinking it was different. [26:30] Tell us about your experience with the incredibly short memory (ISM). He would find himself returning to the hospital after a short time away. [28:33] What inspired you to quit, most recently? His family. He spent some time away from them and it inspired him to quit. He experienced moments of clarity and made a decision. He found some supportive people to help him. [32:02] What were y
Mon, April 23, 2018
RE 166: Building Emotional Muscle
A quote from “Drinking: A love Story” by Caroline Knapp sums up the theme for today's podcast: “Early sobriety has the quality of vigorous exercise, as though each repetition of a painful moment gone without a drink serves to build up emotional muscle.” Life will happen. We can't control what challenges life will send our way but we can control how we respond. Each passing trial is an opportunity to build one's sobriety muscles, which get stronger over time as healthy habits and ways of thinking become more deeply ingrained. Quitting drinking is difficult because not only is alcohol physically addicting, but we often turn to alcohol to help us cope with life's many challenges. In sobriety, we find an opportunity to learn new coping skills and rewire our brain to handle difficult times without turning to alcohol for help. Samantha, with 18 days since her last drink, shares her story... SHOW NOTES [7:20] Paul Introduces Samantha. Samantha is 27 years old, from Louisiana. She has a girlfriend and a cat, works at a lawfirm, likes music, travel, reading and listens to podcasts. She's a geography student, returning to school to finish her degree. [8:30] When did you first notice that you had a problem with drinking? In her early 20s. She used alcohol to deal with her anxiety. She thinks alcohol is a big part of society in Louisiana. She has family members that struggle with alcohol. An abusive relationship drove her to drinking more than normal. All of her friends seemed to drink a lot. [12:35] What did drinking a lot look like for you? Mostly just wine, and eventually whiskey, which became her alcohol of choice. [13:07] Did you ever put any rules into place to try and control your drinking? Yes, she would buy smaller bottles or only drink on weekends. [13:50] What was your rock bottom moment? Why did you decide to quit? Sick and tired of being sick and tired mostly. A therapist refused to see her while she was drinking. She was angry. She refused the rehab and kept drinking. A different time she had written in her journal about quitting drinking, only to go out later that night and black out again. [18:34] What was it like to break that promise to yourself? She woke up and felt terrible, shameful, embarrassed. [19:55] How has sobriety affected your borderline personality disorder? Her emotions are normally intense and fleeting. Alcohol helped her maintain an even keel. Without alcohol, she's switched to Zoloft. It's difficult to deal with strong emotions without alcohol. She's now optimistic about her future and has decided to go back to school, realizing that alcohol was getting in her way. [23:40] How has your behavior changed since you've quit? She goes to bars less. She is looking for more things to do at home. She'
Mon, April 16, 2018
RE 165: Do I Have a Drinking Problem Assesment
“Do I have a drinking problem?” Part II The first episode under this particular theme came out back in March of 2015. In “Drinking: A Love Story” by Caroline Knapp, a questionnaire is presented that will help you determine whether or not you have a drinking problem, and if yes, at what stage your drinking problem is. See the questions below: 1. Do you drink heavily when you are disappointed or have had a quarrel with someone? 2. When you have trouble or feel under pressure, do you always drink more heavily than usual? 3. Can you handle more alcohol now than when you first started to drink? 4. Have you ever been unable to remember part of the previous evening, even though your friends say you didn’t pass out? 5. When drinking with other people, do you try to have a few extra drinks when others won’t know about it? 6. Do you sometimes feel uncomfortable if alcohol is not available? 7. Are you more in a hurry to get your first drink of the day than you used to be? 8. Do you sometimes feel a little guilty about your drinking? 9. Has a family member or close friend express concern or complained about your drinking? 10. Have you been having more memory “blackouts” recently? 11. Do you often want to continue drinking after your friends say they’ve had enough? 12. Do you usually have a reason for the occasions when you drink heavily? 13. When you’re sober, do you sometimes regret things you did or said while drinking? 14. Have you tried switching brands or drinks, or following different plans to control your drinking? 15. Have you sometimes failed to keep promises you made to yourself about controlling or cutting down on your drinking? 16. Have you ever tried to control your drinking by changing jobs or moving to a new location? 17. Do you try to avoid family or close friends while you are drinking? 18. Are you having more financial, work, school, and/or family problems as a result of your drinking? 19. Do more people seem to be treating you unfairly, without reason? 20. Do you eat very little or irregularly during the periods when you are drinking? 21. Do you sometimes have the “shakes” in the morning and find that it helps to have a “little” drink, tranquilizer or medication of some kind? 22. Have you recently noticed that you can’t drink as much as you used to? 23. Do you sometimes stay drunk for several days at a time? 24. Do you sometimes feel very depressed and wonder if life is worth living?
Mon, April 09, 2018
RE 164: Do the Medications Work?
Do the medications work? Paul reads messages he received from different podcast listeners about their experiences with some of the various medications often prescribed as quit aids for quitting drinking. Though they are not known to be an effective all-in-one cure for alcoholism, they appear to be a positive piece to the recovery portfolio for some. Ed, with 11 days since his last drink, shares his story: SHOW NOTES [6:20] Paul Introduces Ed. Sober for 11 days. Has been on Naltrexone for 6 years. 40 years old. Research scientist, molecular biologist. Has two young children. Really enjoying his work. Started to drink more seriously during mid 20's. [10:13] At what point did Naltrexone enter the picture? During his mid 30's. He was falling down stairs and wetting his bed on the weekends, yet he was still in denial. He sought out a medicine to help with his hangover symptoms, found the Sinclair method on the internet. [13:05] Did you go straight to Naltrexone or did you try other methods first? He went to his doctor and asked him about Naltrexone. He had tried AA but didn't like it. The doctor was cautious, but gave him the green light. [15:10] Having used Naltrexone, what is your take on alcoholism being defined as a disease? Alcoholism is definitely a disease. It runs in families, etc. People who don't have the disease don't understand what it's like. People drink for different reasons, but once addicted people are equal. [17:16] Where is the disconnect between the recovery and medical communities? Not enough research in general, and in recovery methods. The numbers we are working with today probably aren't the whole picture. Not tied into addiction in general. One thing he wants to emphasize is that Naltrexone should not be used by an alcoholic to try and drink like a normal person. It can help someone quit but should only be used for that. If you are already quit, stay quit. [21:22] If it feels more or less under control at this point, why aim for total abstinence? He isn't getting anything out of it at all anymore. He feels the overall force of alcohol in our lives is destructive. He feels great. [24:44] Where are you at with cravings? Cravings are decreased with Naltrexone. He likes not closing the door completely because he feels like he can fit in. It's easier to just have a little bit. [26:08] What about your friends who had a negative experience with Naltrexone? One friend ended up going on Naltrexone. He used it moderately and it had negative effects. Moderate reward can be more addicting than regular reward. [29:00] Are you tempted to not use the pill? He's tempted but has never broken the rule, which is why he feels he's been successful so far. [30:09] How does your routine work with the pill? He just takes it every day. [31:
Mon, April 02, 2018
RE 163: Want to Know Why You Drink? Quit Drinking and You'll Find Out
Why do we drink? When we no longer drink alcohol, the many reasons we used to drink come bubbling to the surface. What may have started out as a fun activity or a social lubricant often morphs into a way to (not) deal with life's problems. The barrage of pro-alcohol messages from media and society has the potential to pull the wool over our eyes as the addictive nature of alcohol quietly gets the better of our innocent intentions. Alcohol promises to help you numb the pain, lower your inhibitions or distance yourself from your problems, but the effect is only temporary. In fact, it often breaks the aforementioned promises and will usually make a bad situation worse. The avoidance of difficult emotions or situations is likely futile. Choosing to face your problems seems daunting when we are used to drinking them away, but gets easier with practice. Briddick, with 112 days since his last drink, shares his story: SHOW NOTES [8:08] Paul Introduces Briddick. Briddick is 33 years old, lives in Bellingham, Washington, works in Real Estate, has a girlfriend and a step-son, plays soccer, plays guitar, travel and the outdoors. [11:15] What was it like for you being self employed? Heavy drinking was normalized. There was no boss to tell him to stop. Everyone was doing it. He used alcohol to unwind. [13:00] When did you first start to realize that you might have a problem with drinking? Late 20's. He started in high school, but it gradually escalated until he had difficulty stopping once he started. [14:50] What was it like to drink before soccer games? For 3 years, he drank before sports. He thought it was normal. He felt terrible physically. He feels lucky that he didn't hurt anyone during sports or driving. [16:18] Did you attempt to moderate your drinking, and to what success? He would avoid drinking in the morning, and avoid hard alcohol. After 3pm it was free for all. [17:38] Tell us about your anxiety attacks in your early 30's. Panic attacks are the worst. You feel something is terribly wrong but you don't know what it is and you can't fix it. Right around lunch time he would get panic attacks. The anxiety attacks went away when he quit drinking. [19:48] What was your reaction to removing alcohol from the situation? Floored. The anxiety went away. The weight stays off. He sleeps better. He feels more emotionally stable. [21:13] What was the time frame like for you in regards to the anxiety? Within the first week. He had a breakdown that lasted for three days. “A bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul.” There is a normal amount of anxiety in anyone's life. Meditation helps. [23:59] How did you do it? He knew inside for years that he was an alcoholic but didn't want to admit it. He eventually admitted it and had
Mon, March 26, 2018
RE 162: Things Your Addiction Will Say in Your Own Voice
“Your addiction will lie to you in your own voice.” Your addiction will often appear to you as a voice in your head that sounds like your own rational thoughts. It will tell you that it's not really that big of a deal, that you are really in control or, in many cases, will conveniently wipe your memory (the ISM or “incredibly short memory”) so you won't recall what a tough time you had getting through that last hangover. Be on the lookout for justification phrases such as: “But I didn't really have a problem before” “Everyone else drinks like I do” “This next time will be different” “I've quit once, I can quit again” “The only person you're negatively affecting is yourself” “I'm cured! I just went [X amount of time] without drinking!” “Everyone else is having so much fun” “I got this.” Stay vigilant in protecting your subconscious mind from thoughts like these and you will have an easier time avoiding relapse. It's much easier to stay sober than it is to get sober, and staying sober isn't always easy. Mike, with almost two years since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [8:05] Paul Introduces Mike. Sober over 600 days. 37 years old, from California. A professional musician that has worked in California, Boston and around China, as well. He now lives with his girlfriend in Hong Kong. Mike does for the show notes for each podcast episode. [11:10] You quit drinking and smoking at the same time? Yes. Smoking was getting in the way of his singing. He read Allen Carr's “Easy Way To Quit Smoking” and at some point he realized that he wouldn't be able to quit smoking without quitting drinking. He committed to 30 days. Felt great so he kept going. [13:58] When did you realize you were going to have to quit drinking also? When he moved in with his girlfriend. He realized that his actions were having consequences that were affecting other people, and that if he really cared about this person and himself, he would have to clean up his act. [15:45] What were the indicators that you had a problem with drinking and/or smoking? He had a therapy session, and the therapist helped him realize that his problem was the drinking, and not what he had thought. [18:27] At that point, did you attempt to quit or moderate? Yes. Upon advice from his father, he tried to moderate his drinking by only drinking during work hours. It was a form of torture as his whole day became centered around waiting for work to begin. Eventually it lead to him breaking the rule and drinking all day for weeks. [20:23] So the willpower technique was torture? Yes. While the rules were in place he found himself constantly distracted and thinking about drinking. His brain was hijacked by both tobacco and alcohol. [22:40] How did you get through those difficult cravings after you quit? He started learni
Mon, March 19, 2018
RE 161: Where Does Sobriety Stand on Your Priority List?
If you haven't done so already, make sobriety your number one priority. It may seem selfish to prioritize yourself over other things, but to really be present and of service to our loved ones and the community at large, we must take care of ourselves. When we root ourselves in something real, concrete and bigger than ourselves, our daily struggles and problems often feel small by comparison. “Everything's going to be okay as long as we don't drink.” Ryan, with over two since his last drink, shares his story.. SHOW NOTES [9:10] Paul Introduces Ryan. Ryan's been sober for over two years. He decided to quit after a trip to the hospital. He's from Dallas, TX. Works for an ad agency. Has a 3-year-old son. Has a dog. Is currently focused on raising his son. He and his wife enjoy scuba diving. [12:45] When did you first notice that you had a problem with drinking? It began in college. He noticed it affected him differently than other people. He experienced withdrawal symptoms early on after casually drinking. A trip to the doctor put things in perspective for him. The doctor asked him to quit for 30 days, and he realized that he couldn't stop. [17:41] What age were you when you realized you had a problem? Late 20's. [18:10] So what happened from late 20's until now? He tried many different things. A therapist diagnosed him as depressed. He was medicated. They assumed the problem was something other than alcohol. He drank while medicated and had a psychotic episode. He cut out the medication but kept drinking. He had a week to himself and he drank the whole time. His anxiety increased dramatically. He started hiding his alcohol from his partner. [23:20] Did things change when your child was born? Eventually. The morning he found out his wife was pregnant he tried to quit. His drinking got worse. As the due date approached his fear increased. He made sure he had emergency alcohol nearby in case they had to run to the hospital. His worst memory from drinking was being drunk for the birth of his child. He kept drinking after the birth. His wife got involved and tried to help him quit. He continued drinking even while seeing his therapist. Finally went to detox and felt like he was saying goodbye to his best friend. He did an intensive outpatient program. Joined AA. Started working the steps. [32:05] Talk to us about the time between your treatment and your sobriety date. He relapsed once. He learned that a relapse happens long before your first drink. He thought he just needed time, but he learned that his thoughts lead to his relapse. He began hiding liquor again. It came back in full force. He realized what he had given up by going back to drinking. [34:35] So how did you end up quitting again? What is your recovery like today? The relapse made him realize that he
Mon, March 12, 2018
RE 160: Made a Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory
Step Four – “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves” The Recovery Elevator Podcast isn't affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous, but we cover the steps due to listener demand. For easy lookup: episode 142 was Step 1 episode 146 was Step 2 episode 152 was Step 3. The fourth step is probably everyone's least favorite step, as it involves things we don't want to do... face our past, our mistakes, our scary thoughts, emotions and current problems. Though it can be scary, it is still one of the most important steps in recovery. Alcoholism is merely a symptom of underlying inner conflict, delusions and/or flaws in our character that need to be faced, and where possible, overcome. The key is honesty. While working step four, we get a new perspective on the bigger picture and see ourselves and our behavior in a new way that helps us to move forward without fear and allows us to embrace a healthy self-image. This step is all about bringing unconscious behavior to light. We gradually realize that only we can change, and not change others. This step is meant to be done with your sponsor. Kerry, with 12 days since her last drink, shares her story... SHOW NOTES [13:25] Paul Introduces Kerry. Kerry lives in Los Angeles, is 47 years old, is married, has two children and four dogs. She loves reading, the movies, traveling, and book stores. [17:40] When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking? In her 40's. She started in her teens, and as an adult, she drank daily. She struggled to stay sober while she was pregnant. Her drinking ramped up after her second child, in her 40's. She thought her drinking was normal, so she found it hard to believe she had a problem. [22:00] What were some of the rules you put in place? She tried to only have a glass of wine with dinner, but it didn't work. She tried to insert a glass of water between each glass of wine. The rules didn't work, which only made her feel down on herself. [25:00] When was your first attempt to quit? 2 and ½ years ago. Her friends invited her to AA meetings. She “white knuckled it” about three weeks. Relapsed. This added more shame, which leads to more drinking. She kept trying and has been in and out since then. [27:20] Was there one moment that changed it for your or was you generally sick and tired? She was sick and tired. She became ashamed when her daughter witnessed her really drunk. [29:00] What are some of the things in your recovery portfolio and what will you do to make it stick this time? She wakes up early and meditates. She reads a chapter of “Living Sober” every day. She reaches out to sober friends. She goes to meetings occasionally. [32:49] What benefits do you see with 12 days in sobriety? More energy. Better sleep. No hangovers. Being more aware
Mon, March 05, 2018
RE 159: I'm Breaking Up With the Word Alcoholic... Again
“Enhanced Dopamine Receptors” or EDR The word “alcoholic” carries such a stigma in today's society and also implies that one's addiction to alcohol is somehow different compared to other addictions. A more accurate way to describe the situation of those struggling with alcohol or any addiction is that they have “enhanced dopamine receptors.” Jim, with 57 days since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [11:00] Paul Introduces Jim. Jim is 47 years old, lives in Waukegan, Illinois. He's a truck driver and a father, with a 12-year-old son. He enjoys reading and working out. [12:37] When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol? He always knew that he drank more than “normal people.” Started drinking early at 14. In recent years it became a problem. Recently he drank an entire weekend. [14:30] Are you viewing it as a permanent decision? Yes, and he arrived at that decision because the moderate approach never seemed to work. “It's a hell of a lot easier to stay sober than to get sober.” [16:10] Did you try to regulate your drinking in any way? Yes, he put rules in place and actually followed them, but suffered the entire time.. and it made him realize that he had a drinking problem. [19:40] Did you hit rock bottom? He believes he's a high bottom drunk. Most of the conflict was in his head. His bottom was more of an emotional bottom. [20:55] Were those emotions the reason you quit drinking? His inner dialogue was mostly negative. He drank mostly to silence his thoughts. [23:04] What were your repeated Day 1's like and how did you break the cycle? He made a commitment to myself, to be honest about it. He decided he wasn't going to let it beat him. He gave himself permission to fail. [27:04] How did you break the hamster wheel? He went to AA; he joined online groups, he started going to therapy. He made a “relapse prevention kit”. The danger was usually boredom and over analysis. [28:50] How do you deal with cravings? He differentiates between cravings and urges. He realized that they're temporary. “Don't make a permanent solution to a temporary situation.” The feelings will not last forever. [30:00] What have you learned about yourself in your sobriety? He says he still needs a lot of work. He has to be vigilant to ensure he's pointed in the right direction. [32:30] What is your proudest moment in sobriety? Staying sober for this long. He intends to keep going. [33:30] What was the retreat like for you? One of the best things he ever did. He enjoyed it thoroughly. [36:25] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? As a teenager, drank tequila. Got sick, threw up his retainer. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? When he drank all weekend. What’s your plan moving forward? Just continue on the path. Continue to learn. <li
Mon, February 26, 2018
RE 158: Is Everyone Really Drinking?
“Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting” You can't always believe what you hear. Just because we believe that everybody was kung fu fighting, doesn't mean that everyone was actually kung fu fighting. In fact, upon further research, it turns out that no one was kung fu fighting in the original music videos for this song. The same applies to “Everybody drinks”. When we drink, our beliefs about everyone drinking around us probably don't reflect reality. We feel that we have no choice because, in our minds, we are surrounded by drinking. Studies show that over one third of adults refrain from drinking alcohol and even more drink very moderately. In sobriety, we have an opportunity to redefine “normal”. We are relieved to let go of the trapping idea that we are forced to consume alcohol to fit in. Anna, with over 17 years since her last drink, shares her story.. SHOW NOTES [10:40] Paul Introduces Anna. Anna is from Marin County. She's a writer. She has a cat, a boyfriend and a recovery podcast/company. [14:30] What are you working on right now? She realized that the publishing business was not for her. She's now focusing on building her own audience and connecting with them and helping them directly. [21:25] When did you first realize you had a problem with drinking and/or drugs? She realized she had a problem when she began using drugs in her apartment alone. It got very dark and she didn't want to get sober but she realized that she had no other choice. [24:15] What kind of role did alcohol play in substance abuse? She never realized she had a problem because she was more focused on cocaine. In rehab they tried to tell her that drinking was connected and she didn't believe them, which lead to relapse. [27:26] Which drug had more of a grip on you at the time? It turns out it was both, even though she thought it was only cocaine. [28:00] Talk to us about alcohol being the gateway drug for you. While under the influence are alcohol, she lost her ability to say no to the other drugs. [31:15] What have you learned from your long term sobriety? She learned how sensitive she is. She learned that emotions are fleeting and won't last forever. She's learned how to accept people for how they behave. [33:50] What role does self-loathing or self-love play in sobriety? She believes that alcoholism is about ego-centrism and the spotlight effect. We assume everything is focused on us. She learned that we can change our behavior and rewire our bad habits. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, and break down the negative thinking. [39:16] What would you say to someone on day 1? Go to a meeting, connect with a sobriety community. [41:08] How are you continuing to stay sober? She goes to a couple meetings a week. She goes to therapy, she med
Mon, February 19, 2018
RE 157: Don't Alcoholics Live Under Bridges?
Many of the stereotypes surrounding alcoholism don't match up with reality. The image of the homeless guy holding the bottle in a brown paper bag and living under a bridge doesn't correctly represent the average alcoholic, despite the image's popularity. Recent data shows that only 3-5% of alcoholics are homeless or on the street. As a group, alcoholics have enhanced dopamine receptors. They tend to be overachievers, over-workers, over-thinkers, and over-creators. They come from many demographics and many age groups. When Paul compiled the data for the RE podcast, he wasn't surprised to find a diverse pool of listeners, both married and single, educated and uneducated, rich and poor. Kim, with less than 1 year since her last drink, shares her story: SHOW NOTES [12:42] Paul Introduces Kim. 5 months sober. From Buffalo NY, lives in Chicago, 36yo, works in digital marketing. Loves billiards, volleyball, spa and travel. Currently working towards a masters in digital communication. [15:00] When did you begin to realize you had a problem with alcohol? She fell ill and ended up in the hospital with a bleeding stomach. The doctor recommended that she quit. She quit briefly but ended up relapsing and found herself back in the hospital again. Second doctor also recommended sobriety. [18:40] What was it like when the second doctor told you it was life or death? The second doctor gave her lots of attention and encouraged her to get into AA. She was humbled and blown away by the personal touch. The doctor's previous patient was someone in the later stages of alcoholism and he warned her not to follow the same path. She then got 8 months of sobriety after. [20:27] Did you end up going to your first meeting? She did. She gave it a shot but it didn't feel like a good fit. She didn't connect with the people. [21:44] How did you come to relapse after the 8 month period? She took a trip to Mexico, and saw everyone around her drinking, which enabled her to justify having a few drinks. She decided she was treating herself. [22:40] How was the rest of the vacation? She didn't have any problems in Mexico, but she convinced herself that it wasn't a big deal and she opened the door to alcohol coming back in to her life. She gradually slipped back in to her old habits. [24:25] What happened after you begin to let alcohol back into your life? She spent a lot of time hungover. She spent a lot of money at IV ME [25:16] Were you sick and tired of being sick and tired? She was feeling run down and depressed. At this point she knew better and she was disappointed in herself. [26:20] During your Labor Day holiday, were you drinking by yourself? Yes. She felt left out and depressed. She doesn't remember doing her Fantasy Football League draft. [28:33] What was the next day like for
Mon, February 12, 2018
RE 156: Progress Not Perfection
In this episode, Paul vents a little bit of his frustration and anger in recovery about AA and “big alcohol”. Without alcohol in our lives to help us deal with difficult emotions.. anger, resentment, and frustration (to name a few) often rise to the surface. Paul expresses his concern for the abundance of alcohol in society, despite the overwhelming evidence that it is destructive and harmful. Katie, with 496 days since her last drink, shares her story: SHOW NOTES [12:00] Paul Introduces Katie. Katie is 29 years old, originally from New York, but lived in Colorado for a while and now lives in Dallas, Texas. Since quitting drinking and she is now into fitness. She recently ran her first half marathon. [15:45] How did you realize you had a problem and how did you get sober? Katie drank a lot in school. After college, she moved to Denver. She started going out every night, and developed insomnia. Went to the doctor, was prescribed Xanax. The medication eventually stopped working. The insomnia continued. She medicated on both ends of her sleep. [19:50] When did you realize the core problem wasn't being solved? In Dallas, the doctors tried to taper down her medications. [23:33] When did rehab enter the picture? She felt alone and stuck. She broke down in her apartment. While moving, she found pills that she was hiding from herself. While her father was helping her move, they went to therapy and had a break down in front her her therapist and her father. Therapist told her she was still young and had a lot of life in front of her. [27:45] You realized you had a drinking problem while in rehab? Yes. She was in denial about why she was going. Thought it was just for rest. Left sober, but with the intention of using her meds normally, or as prescribed. In rehab, she slept well. She was going to try to use meds to stay sober... realized she was an alcoholic. [30:35] What was it like after? Returning to Dallas was tough. She had no support structure. Started to make friends through the sober community. Got into fitness. Met a guy who was a big drinker, turns out he had been sober for a while and understood her situation. [37:00] How did you overcome the desire to relapse? She lost a romantic partner, and it was difficult. She insisted on making it to 1 year, though. She realized that emotions are fleeting. [38:10] What is your proudest moment in sobriety? She's visiting her best friend from college. They're celebrating sobriety together. She's also found out that many other people are getting sober. [40:26] What is something that you've learned about yourself in sobriety? She's resilient. She's been hitting her fitness goals more easily. [41:41] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Woke up in a disgusting apartment with bug bites.
Mon, February 05, 2018
RE 155: Filling the Void Left By Alcohol
“For us to be successful in sobriety, we must fill the void left by alcohol.” -Russel Brand, Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions Drinking plays a big role in our lives. Many of our social gatherings revolve around it. We use it to relax or to deal with difficult emotions. When we quit drinking, a void is then created that can be felt across many areas of our lives. What do we do with this? Should we fill it? With what? When the void is present, some try to use willpower to ignore it or to muscle through or around it. Unfortunately, studies show that willpower is a finite resource and can not be solely relied upon to quit successfully. If the void (also known as the emotional and spiritual causes of alcoholism) isn't properly dealt with, one can become what is known as a “dry drunk.” The behaviors, coping mechanisms, and mindsets of the alcoholic are still present; the only difference is the lack of alcohol consumption. In sobriety, we find ourselves with more... more time, more energy, and more mental clarity. It's important to fill this time and spend this energy in a healthy and productive way so that the reasons for the void's existence begin to disappear as we lay a healthy and solid foundation for living. Find things you like to do, and more importantly, find the communities surrounding those activities and do your best to become a part of them. Chrissy, with 2 and ½ years, talks about how she married her drinking buddy: SHOW NOTES [12:50] Paul Introduces Chrissy. Chrissy has been sober for 2 and ½ years. She's from Mill Valley, California. 48 years old. District Sales Manager. Mother of two teenage boys. She has two dogs. Married. [14:42] When did you first realize you had a drinking problem? She used to be in denial. She married her drinking buddy. Started dabbling to get out of her head. Became a problem when she moved to a town where everyone drank. Started drinking daily. Lead to a health scare. [17:10] What was it like to find out you had Grade A Liver Cirrhosis? She lost a lot of weight. She was mistaken for someone who was pregnant. Ignored swelling abdomen and yellow eyes. Eventually couldn't ignore symptoms. The doctor called her an alcoholic. She says the doctor is a good place to go for help. [20:50] Did you ever attempt to moderate or control your drinking? She always tried to manage it. She had an idea for a perfect medium buzz. The health scare is what made her consider quitting. [22:47] What was it like when you first quit? It took a few weeks for her body to repair itself. She now gets checked up regularly. [25:30] What did you learn about yourself during this process? Once the fog was lifted, she began to ponder why she drank. Now she says it isn't important. It's more important to stay sober. Year 1 was “how do I stay sober?” and now year 2 is “how do I manage
Mon, January 29, 2018
RE 154: Can Pills Help Control Our Drinking?
“ Does anybody have experience with naltrexone, Antabuse (disulfiram), or Campral (acamprosate)?” These drugs are designed to help people deal with the physical side effects of quitting alcohol. While readily available, most 12 step programs will not mention quit aids such as these. In the Radio Lab episode “The Fix”, they mention that a very small percentage of people in the early stages of drinking ever qualify for receiving drugs to help them quit. Many people will seek out an easy way to quit, and though these drugs may seem attractive, the only way to successfully move forward is by putting in the work. Disulfiram - more commonly known as Antabuse, is intended to create negative side effects to break the positive association with drinking. It will not help with the physical cravings of quitting. The United States National Institutes of Health says “...it is unlikely that disulfiram will have any real effect on the drinking pattern of the chronic alcoholic.” Naltrexone – blocks brain opioid receptors. Probably the most popular. It alters the brain's neurochemistry to make alcohol less rewarding. The alcohol molecule is similar to an opioid molecule and is received similarly in the brain. Naltrexone blocks the high one gets from drinking. Acamprosate - more commonly known as Campral, is newer than the other drugs in the US. The complete workings of this drugs are currently unknown, but it appears to disrupt the activity of the gaba and glutamate neurotransmitter systems in the brain, essentially quickening the pace at which a brain affected by alcohol returns to normalcy. Are these drugs a cure for alcoholism? The common experience is no. These pills only address the physical component of the disease, leaving the emotional and spiritual causes unchecked. Some key points from “The Fix” episode by Radio Lab: 1 – Billy's Story – The drugs did what they were supposed to do, in that they helped him get his drinking under control, but they did not cure the underlying causes for his alcoholism. 2 – The separation between the addiction community and the medical community started in the 30s during the tuberculosis epidemic, eventually leading to the medical community relying on medicine and the recovery community relying on a higher power. 3 – According to Anna Rose-Childress, people prone to addiction are the fittest of the fit, evolutionary speaking. They are rewarded from their environment in more subtle ways, which seems to backfire in today's modern environment. Stephen, with 12 days since his last drink, shares his story. SHOW NOTES [13:33] Paul Introduces Stephen. How long have you been sober? Who are you? What do you do for fun? Over 12 days. From Brisbane, Queensland, Australia. 29yo. Works as a graphic and web designer. Recent graduate of Nutritional Medicine. Engaged to be married. Love fitness and reading self-help books. [15
Mon, January 22, 2018
RE 153: Do Half Measures Really Avail Us Nothing?
"Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon." This phrase is commonly heard in 12 step meetings. When it comes to recovery, a half-hearted attempt could have disasterous results. Recovery can be confusing. Half measures might yield mediocre results in other areas of life, but due to the nature of the beast, unfortunatly the truth is that alcoholism can not be defeated while alchol is still being consumed, and thus requires one to quit drinking completely in order to successfully move forward without alcohol. While this is true in the long run, most of us use half measures at the beginning to try and control our drinking. This is normal and, though half measures in regard to quitting drinking leads to relapse, it may also lead one to the conclusion that they have to quit completely. Sometimes the wrong train will take you to the right destination. Zoey, with 7 months since her last drink, shares her story. SHOW NOTES [9:15] Paul Introduces Zoey. How long have you been sober? Who are you? What do you do for fun? Over 7 months sober. June 1, 2017 sobriety date. Married. Louisville, KY. 23yo. Works at a freight facility. Still learning what she likes to do for fun. Has 2 dogs. Likes music, reading, cooking. [9:40] What spurred you into sobriety? Had a car accident while under the influence that she didn't remember. [12:00] Did you ever put any rules in place to try and control your drinking? Yes. Switching types of drinks. Switched from beer to liquor to lower the quantity of drinks she consumed thinking she wouldn't be viewed as an alcoholic. She would also force herself to run a mile for each drink she consumed. [13:25] Before your accident, were there signs that you were drinking too much? Many. Husband was afraid to be around her while she drank. Also, she would jokingly mention that she was an alcholic in conversation, surprising herself. [14:45] Was this your first attempt to quit drinking after the accident? Yes. She had a meltdown and wound up in a psychiatric hospital, was diagnosed and medicated. She tried to stop because of her medication, but she couldn't last more than 5 days. She also lied to doctors about her drinking. [17:45] What's it like getting sober at your young age? Different than others. To her, age didn't matter. She believes she has hurt enough people and has felt enough pain for anyone at any age. Her friends still drink so she had to remove herself from her social connections. [19:55] How did you determine which friendships to keep and which to end? She looked at the things they did together, whether or not there was any re
Mon, January 15, 2018
RE 152: Asking For Help With Alcohol: Made a Decision to Turn Our Will and Lives Over
Paul summarizes Step 3 from the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous. “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” Step three in a nutshell means we are asking for help. A God of our understanding can be anything. We must be convinced that a life run on self will can hardly be a success. Jenna, with over 3 years since her last drink, shares her story SHOW NOTES [8:39] Paul Introduces Jenna. I live in Colorado, I work in IT, and I’m 38 and have a 10-year-old daughter. I love hiking, running, and skiing. I love to cook. [12:38] Paul- When did you start drinking? Jenna- I actually didn’t start drinking until I was in college. I didn’t drink in High School. The first time I drank I was 12. I discovered a bottle of alcohol, and poured it into a coke. [21:25] Paul- What was it that led you to quit drinking? Jenna- I had several bottoms before September of 2014. I knew alcohol wasn’t working for me, but no one knew that alcohol was the cause of my anxiety and depressing and feeling horrible. [28:42] Paul- How liberating was it to be in that environment where your mom with nothing to hide? Jenna- She cooked me lots of healthy food. It took me days to be able to eat. That love and being cared for was huge. She was there for me for whatever I needed. [34:15] Paul- Talk to me about the timeline, and the patience. What do you have to say on that? It does keep getting better. Jenna- That first year was amazing and hard at the same time. I had to learn how to do everything without alcohol in a culture where everything revolves around alcohol. Having accountability with my sponsor and my husband was huge in all of those times. [43:21] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? That would be when we were in Vegas for my Grandma’s 90th birthday party, and I took my daughter to the bathroom, and I got lost. I didn’t know how to get back to the restaurant and I was drunk. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Labor Day weekend of 2014. We were going camping. It was always my job to pack up the camper. I decided to drink before doing that, by the time we got out to the campsite 90% of what we needed was not in the camper. What’s your plan moving forward? I plan to keep growing personally and learning. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? What works for me is going to meetings, and connecting with other people. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Surrender, and ask my higher power for help. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? You can find your bottom at any time, just put down t
Mon, January 08, 2018
RE 151: This Recovery Program Claims an 80% Success Rate
The American Medical Association recognized alcohol dependence as a disease over 55 years ago. Alcohol dependence fits the disease model because it is a dysfunctional state with characteristic form. Use of some drugs, including alcohol, may cause dependency. The medical term for this dependency, or addiction, is Chemical Dependency. In order for a chemical to be addictive it must possess three properties. It must be: 1) mind altering or mood changing, 2) euphorigenic, and 3) reinforcing, that is taking the chemical stimulates taking more of the chemical. Kim, with 3 days since her last drink, shares her story SHOW NOTES [14:29] Paul Introduces Kim. I am 43 years old, I have 2 kids, I am from Atlanta, I am a self-employed attorney. I like to walk my dog, be out in nature, and exercise. I come from a family of alcoholics. [19:34] Paul- Did you ever put any rules into place? Like not drinking before 5:00? Tell us more about that. Kim- I did actually. I switched to wine, I don’t know if that counts as moderating. I did cut back on the heavy stuff. I tried not drinking when I noticed the emotions were flooding. For me it’s been the amount I have been drinking when I did drink. [32:18] Paul- We are both one of the “lucky ones” How do you feel about that? Kim- The one thing I have that my family members don’t have is self-awareness. They are in denial. I feel very very lucky that I have been able to recognize what I am doing, and that it is a problem. At the same time it is everywhere. I see it everywhere. [43:08] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Without a doubt it was that night. It was the lowest I felt in my life. I never want to be there again. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? It was 3 days ago. We were having fun, watching football. The next thing I knew I had a beer in my hand. What’s your plan moving forward? Accountability is big. Actually calling somebody, I can see where reaching out can help break the cycle. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Without a doubt it is the Café RE recovery group. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? When you are going through hell, don’t stop. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Don’t beat yourself up. It perpetuat
Mon, January 01, 2018
RE 150: We Can Do This
It is January 1st, 2018. Today represents the start of a new year. The fact that you are listening to a podcast that is all about bettering your life sets you apart from all the rest. Addicts and alcoholics need altruistic relationships in our lives with others who do not drink. Tricia, with 1 year since her last drink, shares her story SHOW NOTES [8:38] Paul Introduces Tricia. I live in Dallas Texas, I’m 36 years old, I am a Chef by trade. I like to do crafty stuff, and I like to go running. [15:03] Paul- What was it like hitting that 1-year milestone? What was that feeling? Tricia- 1-year felt better than my birthday. My soberversary felt so much more important than any birthday I had ever had. Having one year was 10 times that feeling of excitement and accomplishment. [26:43] Paul- Tell us more about that. Tricia- I can quickly compare getting sober to starting an exercise routine. Everyone wants a quick fix. That never works. There is no quick fix. You have to do the things that make you uncomfortable and are hard. You have to learn to have discipline. AA is attraction, not promotion. I can take what I want, and leave the rest. [32:32] Paul- The majority of listeners have yet to step foot into an AA meeting. What are your thoughts on AA? What light can you shed upon the 12-step process? Tricia- I have a lot of opinions on AA. It’s a place where you can meet people in real life. We all have the same disease. It is neat to meet people who get you. I love that part about AA. There are 2 parts to AA: Going to meetings, and working the 12 steps. If you just go to meetings and you don’t do the steps you are missing out. [36:42] Paul- Tell us a little about the retreat and what you learned from it. Tricia- I signed up early for the retreat as an incentive to stay sober. The retreat in Montana was an adult experience kind of like camp. Creating relationships with people who are just like you. Everyone was so vulnerable right away. It was magical. You had to be there to know. Rapid Fire Round What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Start right now. There is no right time, do it now. It just gets harder the longer you wait. You can’t do this alone, if you could, you would have done it by now. You might be an alcoholic if...you are always scheduling your day around your drinking. Everything has a hard stop at 4:00 or 5:00 so you gotta start drinking. You know exactly how many ice c
Mon, December 25, 2017
RE 149: Some Facts About Alcohol
Facts about Alcohol: Less than 20% of people with alcohol abuse disorders actually seek treatment for their disease. Excessive alcohol consumption costs the U.S. economy an estimated 250 billion dollars in lost productivity according to a study from 2010. Alcoholic’s Anonymous success rates vary depending on the source. Makenzee, with 1 year since her last drink, shares her story SHOW NOTES [12:05] Paul Introduces Makenzee. I am from Boise Idaho. I am 23 years old and I work in the emergency department at the hospital. I love crafting, and fitness and nutrition. I got married 9 months ago. [13:15] Paul- When did you first realize you had a problem with alcohol? Makenzee- I had a constant build up of sickness and hangovers on my days off. I started to realize that my hobbies didn’t exist anymore. I wasn’t really present in the moment. It was miserable. [16:57] Paul- 13 days ago, did you have a rock bottom moment? Tell us why you quit drinking. Makenzee- It was hard to say one specific thing happened. I was excruciatingly hung-over 13 days ago. It lasted about two and half days. I was going through some physical withdrawals. [25:22] Paul- Let’s back up to Day 1,2, 3, 4, 5, how have you gotten this far? Makenzee- Days 1,2,3,4,5 were… I’m not going to sugar coat it, absolute hell. My body was physically aching. I had a hard time wrapping my head around the situation. Yesterday was the first day I did not feel miserable. It was very difficult the first few days. [31:36] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself over these past 13 days? Makenzee- I’m actually a good person. I beat myself up a lot. I realized everyone is not going to like me. But I like me, and I am comfortable in my own skin. [36:52] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Blacking out after my husband face timed me from overseas, and not remembering talking to him. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Waking up after our wedding night and not remembering the last half of it. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Café RE, and self-care. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Facing it is the only way to overcome it. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Rip it off like a Band-Aid. It’s terrifying; it hurts like hell, but just do it. Your life will flourish. <s
Mon, December 18, 2017
RE 148: The Perfect Storm for Alcoholism
Randy Craig, with 49 days since his last drink, shares his story. SHOW NOTES [2:53] Paul Introduces Randy. I was born and raised in Casper Wyoming. I went to school in Colorado, and worked there for a few years. Music has been a part of my life since I was very young. I like to read, play music, take my dog on walks. My passion revolves around my music. Randy tells his story in detail to Paul, and explains his journey up to this point. [41:59] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Waking up in that Hospital in ICU. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? My first detox. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Out of the Wreck I Rise” – by Neil Steinberg What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? It starts with you. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? If you are even questioning it, odds are you should try to stop it before it gets worse. It is an awful disease. You might be an alcoholic if... I’m on my deathbed with an expired liver, and still have the energy to go to the bar. Resources mentioned in this episode: This episode was brought to you by RX Bar. Visit RXbar.com/elevator and use the promo code elevator for 25% off your first order. Randy Craig's Website Out of the Wreck I Rise- Neil Steinberg Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code Opportunity to waive the set-up fee. Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com “We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Mon, December 11, 2017
RE 147: Is Alcoholism a Disease, a Habit, or Voluntary?
The 3 basic camps of addiction can be broken into the following categories: The prevailing wisdom today is that addiction is a disease. This is the main line of the medical model of mental disorders with which the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) is aligned: addiction is a chronic and relapsing brain disease in which alcohol use becomes involuntary despite its negative consequences. The idea here is, roughly, that addiction is a disease because alcohol use changes the brain and, as a result of these changes, alcohol use becomes compulsive, beyond the voluntary control of the user. In other words, drinker has no choice and his behavior is resistant to long term change. Marc Lewis’ “ The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction is Not a Disease ” , has stirred controversy among addicts, their families, addiction researchers, and treatment providers. Lewis claims that the scientific facts don’t support the disease model of addiction. Rather, addiction, like romantic love and other emotionally loaded habits, develops through accelerated learning. Combining scientific views with intimate biographies of addicts who recovered, the book also shows how addiction can be overcome, through self-directed change in one’s goals and perspectives. Drawing on psychiatric epidemiology, addicts’ autobiographies, treatment studies, and advances in behavioral economics, Heyman makes a powerful case that addiction is voluntary. He shows that drug use, like all choices, is influenced by preferences and goals. But just as there are successful dieters, there are successful ex-addicts. In fact, addiction is the psychiatric disorder with the highest rate of recovery. But what ends an addiction? At the heart of Heyman’s analysis is a startling view of choice and motivation that applies to all choices, not just the choice to use drugs. The conditions that promote quitting a drug addiction include new information, cultural values, and, of course, the costs and benefits of further drug use. Most of us avoid becoming drug dependent, not because we are especially rational, but because we loathe the idea of being an addict. Greg, with 361 days since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [13:45] Paul Introduces Greg. I’m 54 years old, I live In Las Vegas, I’m an attorney, and working in HR currently. I have been married for 26 years, and have 2 daughters aged 22 and 18. I love being outdoors. [18:59] Paul- Can you describe your rock bottom moment? Greg- The summer of 2016 I played on a work Softb
Mon, December 04, 2017
RE 146: We Came to Believe
Paul discusses Step 2 from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Mike, with 86 days his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [11:31] Paul Introduces Mike. I live in Vermont; I’m 33 years old. I work as a social worker; I hang out with my wife, my 12-year-old son, and play video games. [16:50] Paul- Describe the progression, coupled with Father time, hangovers are getting worse and worse, talk about that progression. Mike- Yeah, I would buy those little boxes of wine, then I would just buy the bottle, and the bottle would be gone. It felt like I was in quicksand, when you are running in sand and can’t get any traction. [20:21] Paul- It’s tough to get 86 days of sobriety, how did you do it? Mike- Listening to the Recover Elevator was huge. I felt like I was in the contemplation stage. I’ve been thinking about quitting for years. Listening to Recovery Elevator is what really helped motivate me jump right in. I listen to “This Naked Mind” on audio book and really tried to “brainwash” myself, and felt like it worked. [28:12] Paul- What advice would you give to your younger self? If you could go back to your 16-year-old self, what would you say? Mike- I would like to go to my 15-year-old self and smack the beer out of my hand. I disagree with the stance that some people can drink normally. Don’t be ashamed that it’s hard. [35:29] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The day after St. Patrick’s Day party trying to piece together what happened. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? I had a lot of times, the most recent time I drank, I had the house to myself and just laying there by myself. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? “This Naked Mind” by Annie Grace What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Alcohol is shit. It resonated with my bodies’ reaction to alcohol. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? When we are in the contemplation stage of am I an alcoholic or not. The real problem is alcohol is an addictive poison, and anyone can become addicted to alcohol. You might be an alcoholic if... you go to St. Patrick’s day party, spill red wine on the rug, you put your arm around another woman, and rub her back while standing with your wife, and you black, the last thing you remember is rais
Mon, November 27, 2017
Re 145: 4 Strategies to Utilize in Social Situations
These 4 Strategies will help us get through any social situation. Will power can only last us so long. Accountability Play the tape forward Always have an exit strategy Stop and think. Alcohol is a poison. Neal, with 20 months since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [8:20] Paul Introduces Neal. I am in my late 50’s. I have 2 boys, 2 grandchildren. I do maintenance work, I like to go camping and spend time with our granddaughter who lives with us. [11:50] Paul- In 1990, was your wife leaving you what got you sober? Neal- Yes. I was driving a taxi in Seattle at that time. The AA world convention came to town. It was a huge emotional relief. I cried throughout the whole event. [16:06] Paul- Let’s back it up to 2008 when you took that first drink after 18 years of sobriety. Can you walk us through that? Neal- The pressures, and there were times I would tell my wife to bring home a 6 pack of beer. One day she finally did. It took 6 months for me to ramp up to where I was after that. [25:04] Paul- Curiosity is killing the cat, what was the reason? Neal- I had to go on Antabuse in November of 2015. I had to go to the pharmacy and take the white pill. Antabuse and alcohol do not mix. [29:43] Paul- With nearly 20 years of sobriety logged, do you still get cravings, and if you do still get them, what do you do? Neal- I don’t get any cravings. Like I said, on that day when I read the obsession, the cravings, it was all lifted, it’s gone. I try to remain calm. Step back and take a deep breath. I try to reflect how they affect me. [33:34] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? I was at a former employers business and I asked my wife to come down to give me a ride home, she came down, and brought somebody else with her and I flew off the handle and was yelling and screaming, and they called the cops. I wouldn’t come out, they couldn’t come in. I finally came out, but it was scary. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? It was the last week of my drinking. I laid in bed, and called in sick everyday. What’s your plan moving forward? To keep connected with AA. Keep going on, and enjoying my 2 grandchildren. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? I have to say Podcasts. I work alone a lot. I listen to 10’s of 100’s of hours of podcasts. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on so
Mon, November 20, 2017
RE 144: Gratitude is Key in Sobriety
“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” – Cynthia Ozick What is gratitude, and how can this help us get and stay sober? Service and Gratitude go hand in hand. Here’s Paul’s Holiday challenge: Write 10 things you are grateful for 10 days in a row. Be thankful for something you totally have taken for granted your entire life. After 10 days when you have 100 items listed, review the list, and look for reoccurring themes. Email your completed lists to Paul@recoveryelevator.com Dan, with 66 days since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [8:10] Paul Introduces Dan. I live a town called Guildford, about 30 minutes outside of London, I have 2 boys named Sebastian and Felix who are 4 and 7 years old, I live with my girlfriend, together we have 4 kids under the age of 9. For fun I enjoy working out, going to the gym, swimming, and desperately trying to learn to play guitar. I work in primary schools, and I deliver health and fitness workshops. [15:58] Paul- 66 days ago, was this your first attempt at quitting drinking? Dan- In all honesty, this is my very first attempt at stopping drinking. One time 10 years ago, I quit drinking for January and February. I don’t want to spend the money; I don’t want to feel crap. I want to set the example for my children growing up. [23:00] Paul- Earlier you said you look at sobriety like a challenge, are you looking at this as an incredible opportunity? Dan- Yeah, I am. After reading Alan Carr’s book, and Annie Grace’s book, it just puts things in perspective. You never used to have to have to have a bottle wine or beer to have fun, or enjoy yourself. The way I sleep the past couple of months. You feel so much better the way you start your day. [28:02] Paul- What’s on your bucket list in sobriety? Dan- At this point in time I really want to focus on my business, and my work. I would really love to do something on YouTube, or something that is focused on the positive of giving up alcohol. [33:43] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Waking up on Christmas morning and clearing up the mess I made outside from getting sick on the way home on Christmas Eve. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? I had 1 beer after playing golf. My cousin asked me if I wanted another, and that moment where I realized I was driving, and knew 1 more beer would put me over the limit. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? I enjoy reading, and listening to podcasts. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Alcohol is shit, that’s it. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? From day 1 start to focus on it
Mon, November 13, 2017
RE 143: The Reverse Intervention
Paul discusses reverse interventions. They, “normal drinkers” don’t get it. How can we expect normal drinkers to understand what we are going through? What do you need to cover in a reverse intervention? Let them know this isn’t easy for you. Having the real conversation and being vulnerable. Lay out your game plan. Accountability is key. Amy, with 11 years since her last drink, shares her story SHOW NOTES [11:40] Paul Introduces Amy. I’m 54, a Midwestern housewife. I have two grown sons, and husband of 34 years. What I do for fun has changed quite a bit over the years. I enjoy recovery, and spending time with my 4 dogs. [23:35] Paul- You said when you finally discovered you had alcoholism, you started to recover. What is your definition of alcoholism? Amy- My last drunk I ended up hospitalized. I didn’t believe you could drink enough to kill yourself. But I came real close. My husband found me, and got me to the hospital, or I would have died from alcohol poisoning. My doctor told me I had alcoholism. They handed me a meeting list, and I immediately started going to 12 step meetings. I finally felt like I landed on the planet I belonged in that I was seeking for 43 years. [27:02] Paul- What did it feel like when you finally found your herd, you found your tribe? Amy- It so radically changed my life. My husband calls me his second wife without the paperwork. I didn’t interact with society. I now seek out social situations. I have more friends than I can handle. [33:25] Paul- Amy you mentioned something earlier you said “Give up the mind fight.” Tell us more what it meant for you to give up the mind fight. Amy- When I heard a man say two things. I knew it was true. I can drink; I can drink with the best of them. I can’t say I can drink safely. The other one I heard was once I take the first drink; I have no control over my decisions, or where it will take me next. [43:33] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Driving my children and neighbor kids to Great America and home in a blackout. It is over an hour on major highways from our home. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Second pregnancy, the day I brought him home, I wanted one glass of wine. I got really drunk, and when I woke up, there was a newborn in the house. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? 12 step meetings, personal relationships, and doing things like this out of my comfort zone. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Just try; cause you can always go back to hell. Hell doesn’t close its door. What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward? I don’t have a plan. That’s one of the best things about sobriety. I wake up and go OKAY. What parting piece of guidance
Mon, November 06, 2017
RE 142: We Were Powerless Over Alcohol
Paul discusses Step One: “ We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.” from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. David, with 46 days since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [10:20] Paul Introduces David. I’m a dad of 2 great boys aged 11, and 7. We live in Atlanta. I work at a software firm. I have been there for quite some time. I’m 42, and divorced. For fun there is a lot of baseball, I help coach basketball. Both my boys are in scouts. I love to play and collect guitars. [12:52] Paul- When did you realize that perhaps you didn’t drink normal? David- I have several memories of self-questioning my drinking habits going back a decade. I have milestones in my life I questioned my drinking. [29:02] Paul- You are identifying yourself as a non-drinker. Have you experienced a different case of the F-its like I have 3 years of sobriety, F-it, I might as well keep moving forward? David- I love this concept, I have not felt this feeling of you have come this far, you might as well keep going. I feel like that day is going to come. You have to be hopeful for the future. I am doing this. You have to balance that with healthy caution around relapse. I can be proud, I can be hopeful, but I have to be cautious. [34:28] Paul- I know from the retreat you met a lot of people who have the same life goal, how has that affected you moving forward? David- I described it when I started this journey. I didn’t have any tools. I had no institutional knowledge of what I was getting myself into. It was through your podcast I was introduced to AA in a meaningful way. What I learned from the retreat is that this is something where community helps. [39:23] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? You can insert any viscous hangover here. Missing a flight out of Vegas after a night of tearing it up. Head throbbing, and having to rearrange flights and childcare back in Atlanta while my head was throbbing. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? When I figured out that the unit of measure was no longer 2 beers, it was a six-pack. No longer 3 glasses of wine, it was the entire bottle. What’s your plan moving forward? My number one internal dialogue is that I am no longer like that. I am no longer that person. It is almost a chant I give myself daily. I’m plugging back in with my therapist. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? While you’re working on your sobriety, your addiction is doing pushups.
Mon, October 30, 2017
Re 141: Alcohol and "Hanxiety"
Anxiety as it relates to drinking is discussed. Alcohol suppresses the nervous system. It is a depressant. If we depress the nerves for long periods through binge drinking, our body reacts once the alcohol is gone by releasing adrenaline to compensate. This gives us severe anxiety in return. Which totally unbearable, and creates a fear that grabs you right in the chest. Aaron, with 16 days since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [11:12] Paul Introduces Aaron. I’m 38; I live in Albuquerque NM, I work at a print shop. I’m separated, I used to like to fish, and want to get back into that. I like to be out in nature. I have a miniature pincher named Packer. [13:29] Paul- How is it different this time? Explain that feeling that something clicked. Aaron- My body was telling me with the anxiety and the insomnia. It wasn’t fun anymore. I was drinking miniatures while I was at work, and tried to hide all the time. Tired of being tired. I’m 38 years old, the party is over already. [26:13] Paul- Talk about your experience with Opioids. Aaron- I started off with the pills. Hydrocodone etc. Then I started doing oxy, and for a few years I was doing that. I was going through withdrawals because I couldn’t get them. I started going to the clinic and got on methadone. [30:28] Paul- 16 days ago you were sick and tired of being sick and tired. What happened, and how did you do it? Aaron- I started downloading and listening to podcasts. I was trying to figure out what this was, and how to stop. I jumped into it with both feet. I went through the tough first few days of detox. I stopped doing things that were triggering me. [37:00] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Waking up in a Virginia jail, and couldn’t bond out because I was considered a flight risk. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? The time I was in San Diego and hit that show and ended up in jail in another state. What’s your plan moving forward? I’m going to hit the podcast circuit. I’m going to create a program that will work for me. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Stop beating yourself up. Don’t try to think ahead too far. You might be an alcoholic if get pulled over in your work car going the wrong direction down a one way road and you didn’t know until you read the police report the next day. Resources
Mon, October 23, 2017
RE 140: Those Uncomfortable Feelings Serve a Purpose
Paul discusses anxiety and depression as interpreted through an episode of the Dharmapunx Podcast. Heather, with 269 days since her last drink, shares her story SHOW NOTES [10:50] Paul Introduces Heather. I’m 37; I live in Los Angeles, CA. I’ve been here for about 7 years. I grew up in south Texas. I work for a small cable network. I love yoga, hiking, going to the movies. I have an identical twin sister. [16:04] Paul- When did you realize perhaps that you don’t drink normally? Heather- I think its been varying stages of that. Moving from Texas to New York was an adjustment. I got a job in a bar, and that was my life. [25:54] Paul- What was the impetus that really forced you to make that jump into sobriety? Heather- I had been reading “A Happier Hour” and the light bulb went off when I was reading that book. I was also reading a blog from tired of thinking about drinking. I started a 100-day challenge. [35:02] Paul- When did AA come into the picture? Heather- I am still going. I am kind of afraid of the steps. Around day 60 or 70 I was feeling lonely about talking about it, and I was afraid to go. I put it out there, and things happened. [40:28] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? One of my best friends husbands passed away. Her father didn’t want any of us to be drinking, and I drank anyway. I should have not drank, but I had to. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? One of the last conversations I had with my boyfriend when he said it will be okay and we will both stop. But if we break up, I’m fine, and I can continue to drink. What’s your plan moving forward? When I started the 100-day challenge, I want to keep clarity. I’m going to work the steps, and go to more meetings, and build more of a sober community here. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Recovery Elevator, and a speaker meeting I attend in LA. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? What you gain is so much more than you are giving up. You might be an alcoholic if you know your boyfriend is, and you decided to move in with him after 9 months, and you still don’t think you have a problem. Resources mentioned in this episode: This episode was brought to you by RXBAR. Visit <a href= "http://www.rxbar.com/recovery/" targ
Mon, October 16, 2017
RE 139: PAWS - Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms/Syndrome
This week’s topic is PAWS- Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms/Syndrome. Paul explains what PAWS is, how to deal with it, and some of the signs to look for. Josh, with 15 months since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [8:13] Paul Introduces Josh. I am from Phoenix originally, now living in LA; I am a digital content producer. I am 36 years old. I like hiking and exploring with my miniature golden retriever Diego. [10:30] Paul- You left AA in recovery determined to find a way to drink normally. How did that go? Josh- Once you’ve been introduced to recovery and then you go back out, it’s tough because you can’t enjoy drinking the way that you were. I just wanted to learn to drink responsibly. To me it felt like there were people with more serious problems than me. [19:35] Paul- Why did things start to change after you adopted Diego? Josh- It took me out of myself. Talking to others about their dogs. Going to the dog park, and meeting other people. I kept myself busy in early sobriety. Having Diego at home with me really helped me more than I can explain. [27:49] Paul- Talk to me about outpatient treatment, what was that like? Josh- I didn’t feel connected to the group, it wasn’t a good experience because I wasn’t’ putting the work into it. When I was finally ready in 2016, it was a really good experience. I went 6 days a week for the first month. [35:07] Paul- Where are you at these days with 12 step programs? Do you go to AA meetings? Josh- I do. I was anti- AA for a long time. I don’t embrace everything about it. What I admire is that it is organized so well. There is a core connection of people there if you want it. I was going to 5-6 meetings a week the first year. I definitely get something out of it. It is not everything to me. I am working the steps. [38:31] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? I blacked out in the middle of trying to go to Jack in the Box and moved my roommate’s car out to the street where it got towed. We had to go to the tow yard and get his car. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Too many to mention. One being at my friend’s house and drinking his entire liquor collection. Another one would have been when I almost been fired from my work. I told myself I wouldn’t drink at work anymore, and 6 weeks later I was. What’s your plan moving forward? My plan is to keep doing what works and stay connected. I count my day’s everyday. I take pride in each day as a separate milestone. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Diego, my dog. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? “It’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life that you are proud of, and if you find you are not, I hope you have the str
Mon, October 09, 2017
RE 138: The Science of Addiction
Paul summarizes an article from National Geographic “The Science of Addiction.” Nearly 1 in 20 adults worldwide are addicted to alcohol. 21 million Americans have a drug or alcohol addiction. Making the disorder more common than cancer. Addiction is a pathological form of learning. Carey, with 40 days year since her last drink, shares her story SHOW NOTES [8:52] Paul Introduces Carey. I am 30 years old; I’m an RN from Rochester New York. I used to say I liked to do a whole lot of things, but I put a lot of it on the back burner when I was drinking. [14:45] Paul- Did you have a rock bottom moment? What caused you to make this decision to get into sobriety? Carey- I feel like there are so many situations in which I should have chosen that time. 40 days ago was the time I decided to make the decision for myself. I hated when people told me I should quit drinking. [19:39] Paul- Before 40 days ago, was that your first time tried to quit drinking? Carey- Back in the day when I first started noticing issues, I was trying to narrow it down. I went through the whole cycle. After the wedding I had quit drinking for 10 weeks. If I got into nursing school, I was going to celebrate with wine. A few months after starting nursing school I got a DWI. [35:28] Paul- You were sick and tired of being sick and tired. You used the word excited. How has that shift in mindset? Carey- I was excited at the fact that I didn’t have to worry anymore. I didn’t have to go out to dinner and worry if my second order of beer would be frowned upon. I am excited about meeting other sober people. [42:39] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Let me count the ways. One of the worst ones was when I got home from a concert, and drove to my friend’s house because I thought I left my phone in his car. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? I would say my DWI. I also hate to admit that my dog was with me at the time. That scared me for sure. What’s your plan moving forward? Right now I want to keep learning and getting out of my comfort zone. I love Café RE, which has been amazing. I want to explore the steps. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? The Recovery Elevator Podcast. I am going to be sober today, and plan on being sober tomorrow. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Tell somebody else. Do research, look into sobriety and come up with a game plan. You are not al
Mon, October 02, 2017
RE 137: The "ISM" or the Incredibly Short Memory
I want to talk about the word Alcoholism, more specifically, the tail end of that word, the ISM- Incredible Short Memory, the painful acute memories are sobriety fuel. We cannot do this alone. Adam, with 57 days since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [8:50] Paul Introduces Adam. I’m 36; I live in New Hampshire, married with 2 awesome sons and a beautiful wife. I love being outdoors. I began drinking in my early twenties. I was drinking to get away from stress problems. It got to the point where I was drinking everyday. [15:05] Paul- What was different on July 17th? Was it a shift in mindset? Did you go to an AA meeting? Adam- It was more of a mindset. Everywhere I looked there was something about recovery. It was my mind putting it out there. I created the accountability, and it made it harder to go back on. [21:40] Paul- Was there some sense of discomfort before you quit drinking? What was the source of pain? Adam- It wasn’t anything huge. I called myself a high bottom drunk. There wasn’t anything that set it off. I was sick of relying on it everyday. Waking up every morning sleepier than I should be. It became too much a part of my life, and I didn’t want it there anymore. [23:56] Paul- What was it like the first 24 hours? The first couple of days, the first week? Adam- It was not the easiest time in my life. I had a little bit of the shakes, some headaches the first 3-4 days was the worst of it. I remind myself how great I feel now. [26:53] Paul- What’s on your bucket list in sobriety? What do you want to achieve with this new life you’ve been given? Adam- I want to spend more time with my family Instead of playing with the kids, the first thing I would do would be to grab a drink. They are 3 and 7 years old right now. Be closer to them. This time of their life I really want to remember. [29:45] Rapid Fire Round Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Just realizing that everyday that was the first thing when I got home from work that I wanted to do. What’s your plan moving forward? Just to keep enjoying life, get to know my kids better, and getting healthy. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? It’s the Recovery Elevator Podcast. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? The accountability. Creating that accountability and making it a real thing. What parting piece of guidanc
Mon, September 25, 2017
RE 136: One in Eight Americans are Alcoholics
New data has revealed that one in eight Americans are now alcoholics due to an alarming rise in alcohol consumption in women, elderly people and ethnic minorities. Experts at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism say that the rise could constitute a public health crisis that is being overshadowed by the opioid epidemic and marijuana legalization. During an 11 year gap, the number of people who received a diagnosis of alcoholism shot up by 49 percent, meaning 12.7 percent of the population - or roughly one in eight Americans - are alcoholics. Megan, with 11 hours since her last drink, shares her story SHOW NOTES [5:15] Paul Introduces Megan. I’m from Baltimore, Maryland. I am 38, single, with a live-in boyfriend. [7:19] Paul- What forced you to reach out to me again, and give us a little background. Megan- The whole point of what you are doing is when you can relate to other people. I love that you are an advocate for the acceptance part of it. People are ashamed to come out so to speak. I didn’t start drinking until late in college. I liked the way it made me feel. I wasn’t self-conscience. It was never really a problem. One day in my late twenties I realized I was drinking everyday. [23:49] Paul- Talk to me about your withdrawal symptoms. Megan- It’s usually worst the second and third day. The shaking and the anxiety is the worse. I can’t shut my brain off. [26:36] Paul- What’s your plan? How are we going to do this? Megan- I am going to get through today. One day at a time. Right now it is just getting through today. I know that I want to get sober and stay sober. Am I done yet? I’m not entirely sure. I want to be there, but I don’t know if I am. [32:36] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Blacking out. I started drinking after a run; I woke up the next day and had no memory of how I got home. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? About a month ago, I got up in the morning and was walking to the grocery store and I couldn’t walk. I inched across the street and went back home. What’s your plan moving forward? What’s your favorite resource in recovery? I love podcasts. The HOME Podcast, the Shair Podcast, Recovery 101. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Don’t beat yourself up. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? You are goin
Mon, September 18, 2017
RE 135: Key Tips For Early Sobriety
Paul reads posts from members of Café RE answering the question: “What are some things that helped you in early sobriety? There are some emerging common themes from these responses. Change, you don’t have to change much, you just have to change everything. Accountability is the key, you can’t do this alone. Alcoholism is a thinking disease. You can’t think your way out of it. Knowledge is not power unless you use it. Marybeth, with 8 months since her last drink, shares her story SHOW NOTES [8:40] Paul Introduces Marybeth. I’m 51; I live in southern New Hampshire. I am married with 4 children, 2 of which have special needs so that takes up some time. I like to visit with friends and family, downhill ski, and exercise. [13:39] Paul- Tell us about your drinking habits, how much did you drink prior to November 26th, 2016? Marybeth- I was a big red wine drinker. I did a sugar cleanse, and then I ended up sipping Tequila neat. Then I switched back to wine. I knew I would never be a morning drinker, or drink before 5:00. I typically had 2 glasses of wine a night for years. [17:45] Paul- Was there a bottom moment, or were you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Marybeth- I attribute my sobriety to an accident. I broke my ankle while I was walking and texting. It was difficult to be on crutches, and drink at the same time. I came upon the 30-day sober solution while I was in my cast. [21:48] Paul- How important do you think accountability has been these past 8 months? Marybeth- It’s been really great. I couldn’t handle my alcohol, and was passing out early. Now I can stay up late and have fun. I was asleep and numbing my self with alcohol. I was snared by it socially, and numbed by it unintentionally. I wasn’t seeking to numb anything. [29:05] Paul- What does your sobriety portfolio consist of? Walk us through a typical day of sobriety. Marybeth- I wake up everyday and meditate for 30 minutes. I use the headspace app. It is like exercising a muscle. I connect with friends, and do things, which interest me. [30:16] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? I was separated from my husband, and got into a car. I put the car in drive instead of reverse and ran over the curb. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? When I broke my ankle. I had a bloody Mary on board when that happened. What’s your plan moving forward? I am going to continue with meditation, my wellness, helping others, and reading books. Possibly attending an AA meeting. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? The Recovery Elevator Podcast. I love listening in the car on the way to work. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? My dad was a recovering alcoholic. He would always say don’t sweat the small stuff.<
Mon, September 11, 2017
RE 134: What I Learned at the Recovery Elevator Retreat
Paul summarizes the Retreat, which took place in Bozeman, Montana. SHOW NOTES [13:22] Paul Introduces Kristin 238 days sober, Amy 11 years sober, Dave 12 days sober, and John with 18 and ½ years of sobriety. [15:55] Paul- What did you think the retreat was going to be like? Dave- I didn’t have any set expectations. It has been sharing, but so much more. I have connected with every single person here. [16:50] Paul- What surprised you so far on this retreat? Kristin- I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to everybody here. I am not extremely comfortable around strangers. Since we have been in the online community the past year, it was easy to chat with everyone. Amy- I enjoyed the camaraderie. It is beautiful here. [27:30] Paul- Tell us what made you decide to come, and a little about your story? Kristin- My drinking career didn’t start until 2001. I realized about 5 years ago that I had a problem, and tried to moderate. My bottom was New Years Eve. I have not lost any friends in sobriety. It’s been a wonderful 8 months. Dave- I grew up in a household of Tea Totalers. I got into a high stress job with expense accounts. The “sick and tired of being sick and tired” resonated with me. There is a new chip on my shoulder. Amy- I started drinking when I was 13. I had the epiphany that this was the missing link. I didn’t think there would be this much joy in sobriety. You can’t love other people until you love yourself. Everything I wanted alcohol to give me, I got sober. John- My drinking career began in high school. My mom passed away when she was 47, many family members had alcohol related deaths. I became a daily drinker from college to 40 years old. January 5th of 1999 is when I got sober. My biggest breakthrough was writing a letter to my mother who had passed away. I stay sober due to the people in my community. This podcast episode was brought to you by Hello Fresh. For $30 off your first week of Hello Fresh visit hellofresh.com and use the promo code recoveryfresh30 Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes <a href= "https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.recovery.sam.sobrietycalculatorPro"
Mon, September 04, 2017
RE 133: America's Drinking Problem Is Much Worse This Century
Paul summarizes the article “America’s Drinking Problem Is Much Worse This Century” by John Tozzi Alcohol abuse has shot up since 2001, and the number of adults who binge weekly may top the population of Texas. Americans are drinking more than they used to, a troubling trend with potentially dire implications for the country’s future health-care costs. The number of adults who binge drink at least once a week could be as high as 30 million, greater than the population of every state save California, according to a study published on Wednesday in JAMA Psychiatry. A similar number reported alcohol abuse or dependency. Between the genders, women showed the larger increase in alcohol abuse, according to the report. Kristi, with nearly 9 months of sobriety since her last drink, shares her story. SHOW NOTES [7:09] Paul Introduces Kristi. I live in northern California near Stanford; I am 44, married and have 2 boys. I worked 25 years in software sales. I have been spending most of my time volunteering. [16:28] Paul- When did you start realize after your Mom passed away, that this might be going in the wrong direction? Kristi- Honestly, around 38-39 I started to realize I was drinking differently than I had in the past. I was working full time with 2 young kids, and I had to have 6-7-8 drinks at the end of the day. [20:23] Paul- What was your first AA meeting like? Kristi- I was so overwhelmed. It was 9:00 on a Saturday morning, and there were 300 people there. I realized that all meetings weren’t this way. I jumped right in, started going to meetings, got a sponsor, and worked the steps. I was working on will alone. I don’t think I realized the importance of a higher power, and letting go. I managed to stay sober for quite awhile. [28:43] Paul- You sound like you are a high bottom drunk, and have a lot more to lose, am I correct? Kristi- I didn’t get the DUI, or drive my kids drunk. But I wasn’t present. I can really sit and appreciate the moment now. I am feeling good; I have a skip in my step. When you live in gratitude, you can’t live in fear and resentment. [32:07] Paul- What’s on your bucket list in sobriety, what do you want to accomplish in this life? Kristi- I would like to learn Spanish. I would really like to write a book. [33:31] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? My husband and I went to San Francisco. I took a small bottle of vodka with me. I got so wasted at the party I don’t remember conversations I had, and I woke up in the hallway. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Repeat times over and over again being drunk on a Tuesda
Mon, August 28, 2017
RE 132: Don't Beat Yourself Up - Alcohol Already Does That
Self-Loathing is rampant in addiction, and it needs to be addressed and curtailed if we want to find long-term recovery. Self-trash talk is a double whammy when we judge ourselves harshly. We are both the attacker, and the attacked. Dr. Kristin Neff’s book “Self Compassion” is summarized. Tori with 16 days since her last drink, shares her story. SHOW NOTES [9:25] Paul Introduces Tori. I am from Gainesville Florida; I have lived here since I was 10. I am 24 years old. I am a proud mom to a Chi Wawa named Tucker. I like to craft, and go to the springs. [14:39] Paul- What was the deciding factor to listen to the RE podcast, and contact the host? Tori- My DUI was my bottom, the way I portrayed myself to the officer in December of 2015. [18:35] Paul- I’m going to read one sentence from the email you sent to me. “I don’t drink everyday, I don’t have withdrawals, what I do have is the inability to control myself once I start drinking”. Talk to me more about that. Tori- During the workweek I like to keep my head on straight. The culture in town is to drink, and to binge drink. I have been doing these bar tours since I was 17. [24:34] Paul- What has it been like these past 16 days? Tori- I have been preoccupied with work. I was moving for one of the weekends. The hardest day was when two of my best friends came over and brought wine. I didn’t drink, and they didn’t care. I haven’t had that breakthrough of clarity yet. I kind of feel that I am in limbo. [32:58] Paul- To this point, what have you lost to alcohol? Tori- A lot of my dignity, you gain more dignity in sobriety. Other things I have lost are trust with my parents. I have lost my sense of safety. I was taken to the back seat of a car and taken advantage of. I was beaten up, and had a concussion; I lost a ton of money. [37:01] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The DUI, it affected many more people than myself. The sexual assault was the worst, but I try not to associate drinking with that. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Every single time I do something dumb. Every time I lose a notch of my dignity. What’s your plan moving forward? What I have been doing has been working. I like listening to the podcasts. Most of my friends probably all have a drinking problem. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Take it one day at a time; realize that you are better than your addiction. You might be an alcoh
Mon, August 21, 2017
Re 131: The Hungry Ghosts
Paul summarizes a talk by Tara Brach named “Healing Addiction: De-Conditioning the Hungry Ghosts” Addiction is addiction, it doesn’t matter what it is, it is applicable. Tara talks about the “hungry ghosts” of addiction. There is a sense that something is missing. A feeling that this moment does not contain enough happiness. How you live today is how you live the rest of your life. When we don’t have basic needs met, we reach out for a substitute. We must find a way to love ourselves. Peri, with 81 days since her last drink, shares her story. SHOW NOTES [11:11] Paul Introduces Peri. I have been sober since May 8, 2016. I am a bartender, I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. I am a poet, and have been writing more in sobriety. [12:58] Paul- Describe your drinking habits, how much did you used to drink? Peri- I think by the end I was drinking 20-30 shots of whiskey a day, and 5 beers. I tried all types of rules with most of them meant to be broken. I think I started to derail when I was 17 years old. I knew by the time I was 21, I had a problem. [16:13] Paul- Talk to us about some of the things you have had to change? Peri- A big thing for me is friendships. Almost everyone I associated with drank like I did. I had to cut almost everyone out of my life. I had to start fresh like I knew no one in the city. [20:19] Paul- You quit smoking and drinking at the same time, tell us about that? Peri- I quit soda at the same time too. 5 aspirin and a large Coke used to get me through the hangovers. I had massive blood clots, so I had to quit both to avoid the health consequences. [25:11] Paul- What’s on your bucket list in sobriety, what do you hope to accomplish? Peri- Some days it is One Day at a time, others it is the moon. I am saving up for a truck, I would like to travel more. I would like to get off my blood thinners. Healing my body would be a huge moment for me. [29:45] Paul- What do you do when you have the cravings? Peri- I eat a lot of ice cream. Either Pistachio, or Peanut butter ice cream, sometimes Raspberry. [35:27] Paul- How is it today? How are you on day 81? Peri- I feel really great, doing an interview right now. Meeting up with my friends, having some dinner. I legitimately haven’t experienced a sober birthday in 10 years. I am looking forward to remembering it. I have been trying the meditation. I have been researching alcoholism. I have been pretty active in Café RE. Occasionally, I will go to AA, but only when I need an extra boost. [37:30] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? I don’t know, there were a lot. I was hanging out with a shady group of people who had alcohol. I fell, and these people left me on a curb with a big gash on my head. Di
Mon, August 14, 2017
Re 130: When Things Fall Apart
Paul summarizes the book “When Things Fall Apart” by Pema Chodron. How can we live our lives when everything seems to fall apart—when we are continually overcome by fear, anxiety, and pain? The answer, Pema Chödrön suggests, might be just the opposite of what you expect. Here, in her most beloved and acclaimed work, Pema shows that moving toward painful situations and becoming intimate with them can open up our hearts in ways we never before imagined. Drawing from traditional Buddhist wisdom, she offers life-changing tools for transforming suffering and negative patterns into habitual ease and boundless joy. Tyler, with 137 days since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [7:45] Paul Introduces Tyler. I’m 33, live in Austin, Texas. I am an editor for a national magazine, and I am an HIV pharmacy rep in Texas. I have 2 standard Poodles named Jones and Indy (Counting Crowes reference, not the movies). [12:57] Paul- When did you realize that maybe your drinking is not normal? Tyler- I started about 3 years ago evaluating my own behavior. I wanted to look into my own behaviors and recognize that I’m 33, and I am binge drinking 3 nights a week. I took a 30-day sober challenge, and then I was wasted on day 31. [17:06] Paul- Was it a question in your mind that you were getting worse? Tyler- I still question whether I was or not (having a problem with alcohol). Let’s just go ahead and say I have a problem with it. My balance is none at all. If I weren’t so exposed to alcoholism, it wouldn’t have showed me what it could do to a person. [21:21] Paul- It sounds like you woke up one day and said “I have a drinking disorder.” How did that feel when you reached that conclusion? Tyler- It was terrifying, I was going slowly in the process. I did go to an AA meeting my first month. It is a wonderful program, and I will never close my door to that program. It was organizing my thoughts around what I am, and what I’m not. [29:19] Paul- Walk us through a typical day for Tyler. Tyler- I am still figuring out how I do it. I went to a wedding in Mexico at a resort, which had, it struggles. I volunteer a whole bunch; I volunteer at an animal shelter, and at a local clinic. I do meditate quite a bit for 20-30 minutes a day. I am on a kickball team here in Austin. The hardest part about my journey is navigating my same social circles sober. [32:47] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself in recovery? Tyler- I’m honestly a very intense person. Alcohol used to water down my intensity. I have to find other ways of chilling out. [35:23] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The memory that I lost. The worst memory is having zero memories. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment?
Mon, August 07, 2017
RE 129: No One Really Believed I Was An Alcoholic, Even When I started Going To AA
Paul comments on a video show on stopdrinkingexpert.com titled “Alcohol will kill you” If we can put “smoking kills” packaging of cigarettes, why can’t we put similar labels on alcohol? This documentary takes place in the UK, but is contemporaneous throughout the globe. They found that 50% of the people tested had elevated liver values. The price of alcohol has become significantly cheaper than it was 30 or 40 years ago. Fear does not harness long term sustainable sobriety. www.stopdrinkingexpert.com [8:26] Paul introduces Randy with a sobriety date of 12/30/2016. I am 39 years old, with 4 kids aged 12, 10, 4, and 2. I am from Indianapolis, IN, and currently relocating to the Denver area. I am a restaurant manager who enjoys hiking, and spending time with my kids. Drinking wasn’t really fun anymore. I found myself drinking alone by myself most of the time. [17:05] Paul- Would you classify yourself as a high bottom drunk? Randy- No one really believed that I was an alcoholic, even when I started going to AA, and getting into recovery. The older I am getting the hangovers became too difficult to deal with. People who aren’t involved in recovery, have a difficult time understanding what we go through. [22:41] Paul- Is AA the main vein for how you got sober? Randy- I hit a streak of RE podcasts where AA wasn’t mentioned at all and I remember being excited that I didn’t have to go to any meetings to get sober. Then I heard a few RE episodes where people started to get traction with their sobriety had success with AA. I went to a few meetings before I found one I really liked and connected with the people there. I found a sponsor, and have been working the steps and making progress. [25:56] Paul- What was it like when you first quit drinking? Randy- I wasn’t sleeping great initially. Sleep is amazing now. The second day without drinking I woke up at 6:00 am, and was binge listening to podcasts and working out. The first few days were rough for sure. Finding those activities and things to do that replace drinking are important. I joined the RE Facebook group within the first 2 weeks. [30:53] Paul- Walk us through a typical day in sobriety now. Randy- I am there for my kids more now. I like to spend time with my sponsor at least once a week. I always check in with the Café RE Facebook group. I am trying to eat a little better, and exercise more. I look forward to so many more things now, instead of trying to get everything accomplished so I can drink. [35:37] Paul- Has it been tough being in the restaurant business through sobriety? Randy- It has it’s challenges, but hasn’t been too bad. Seeing the hangovers on my servers faces keeps me grounded in my recovery, and reminds me of what I don’t miss from drinking. [38:06] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? We went out with my little brother, and I tried to keep up with his friends. We did shots of Irish car bombs, I was so hungover the
Mon, July 31, 2017
RE 128: The Spiritual Consequences of Alcohol Consumption
Paul breaks down and discusses the article: “The Spiritual Consequences of Alcohol Consumption” by Zahrah Sita Although it is mass produced, mass promoted, legal, and ingested by a multitude of people all over the world, most people don’t ever consider or understand the spiritual consequences of drinking alcohol. Let’s begin by taking a look at the etymology of the Word alcohol. Etymology means the root of the word… where it is derived from. The word “Alcohol” comes from the Arabic “al-kuhl” which means “BODY EATING SPIRIT”, and gives root origins to the English term for “ghoul”. In Middle Eastern folklore, a “ghoul” is an evil demon thought to eat human bodies, either as stolen corpses or as children. The words “alembic” and “alcohol”, both metaphors for aqua vitae or “life water” and “spirit”, often refer to a distilled liquid that came from magical explorations in Middle Eastern alchemy. Odette, with 7 days since her last drink, shares her story. [5:45] Paul Introduces Odette. I have been sober one week, so still riding the “Pink Cloud”. I am from Guadalajara, Mexico and currently reside in San Diego California. I am 29 years old, I am married and have 2 kids, and I am a wellness and fitness coach. For fun I love going to the beach, cooking, and going to concerts. [8:00] Paul- Describe your drinking habits over the last 10 years, 5 years. Odette- I started only drinking on weekends. Then over time it turned into drinking everyday, and heavy drinking on the weekends. I noticed a natural progression of my drinking habits. [16:02] Paul- When was it you that decided you needed to quit drinking? Odette- It had been on my mind for months. I am a very optimistic person, and the past few months I was living from a place of fear. [19:23] Paul- What’s it been like the past week? Odette- It’s been hard. I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old. Being grounded helps me kick the urge. My number one assignment is to be a mother, a present mother. I really just enjoyed being a mom. Listening to podcasts every single day, exercise and self-care. One day at a time. [22:40] Paul- Have you ever had a rock bottom moment in regards to alcohol? Odette- The morning after the Super bowl. I spoke with my dad about not drinking anymore. Pay attention to your own compass. People perceive you differently than you are. [29:14] Paul- What advice can you give to someone struggling to recognize his or her own addiction struggles? Odette- I think the best advice I can give is I wish I would have known two concepts. If you know your why, it will help you surrender quicker. Write out your vision. [33:18] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? That event we talked about, the Super bowl where I didn’t spend a moment looki
Mon, July 24, 2017
RE 127: Present and in the Moment Without Alcohol
Rule Number One of podcasting is plug in the microphone. Pete, with 488 days of sobriety shares his story. SHOW NOTES [2:19] Paul Introduces Pete. I am 38 years old, and golfing is my favorite leisure activity. I have an 8-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. I am in construction sales, mostly traveling around Ohio and surrounding states. [6:07] Paul- When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol Pete? Pete- I’ve always known, or at least had the fear of having a problem. I could drink a case of beer by myself in High school. [12:23] Paul- Was this a bottom you experienced, or where you done? Pete- I hit a spiritual bottom. Things that were important, no longer seemed important. My wife, great job, and truck were all things that weren’t making me happy. I realized that doing these things that I was taught would make me happy weren’t. I was bankrupt spiritually and emotionally. My wife opened the work bench, and the drawer was full of empty and full booze bottles. They were devastated. I realized that suicide wasn’t’ an option. That was the moment that made me change everything. [17:25] Paul- What was the outpatient therapy like? Walk us through that. Pete- I went to a state certified program. I attended with several other professionals who learned a great deal about addiction and recovery. [24:44] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself these past 488 days? Pete- I have learned that I like peace, calm, and serenity. I accepted chaos because that is what I knew. My life is really good, but I made it really bad by a lot of choices that I made. [28:18] Paul- Have you had cravings, and how do you overcome cravings them? Pete- My cravings as of today are more “I would like a drink” but more thoughts than cravings. In the beginning I had physical cravings. I don’t have the impulse to drink now. Alcohol was the medicine that fixed everything for me. [30:25] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? The experience with my wife and daughter not being able to ride bikes because of my booze hidden in the drawer. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? For me it was when my mother in law died from alcoholism, in the nursing home my biggest thought was how do I get out of here and have a drink without anyone noticing. What’s your plan moving forward? Continue to present in the moment, and doing, not thinking about things I don’t do, and then regretting them. I just need to do the best I can. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Meditation and Prayer. I’ve used the Headspace app, there is a meditation guru that lives in our village. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? Follow direction. Putting faith in a blind process. What parting piece
Mon, July 17, 2017
RE 126: The Most Effective Way To Do It... Is To Do It
“The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” - Amelia Earhart Paul discusses his difficulties in quitting smoking, and it’s parallels to quitting drinking. Alcohol is not your friend. Stop drinking cold turkey, and don’t try to a taper off strategy. Rip the Band-Aid off. Get rid of the booze from your house. At this moment, you are not stronger than your addiction. One day at a time. Thinking must be flipped. Quitting drinking is an opportunity to get your life back, not a sacrifice. Write down a list of pros and cons from quitting drinking. Don’t worry about your weight initially. Get through sobriety first. Schedule personal time for exercise. Life happens, and we need to build up our coping skills muscles without alcohol. Accountability is the underlying theme of this entire podcast. Celebrate the milestones, and be happy with your progress. Leah, with 19 days since her last drink, shares her story. SHOW NOTES [11:20] Paul Introduces Leah. My last drink was June 3rd, so my sobriety date is June 4th. I am 34; I have been married since 2010. I have a 6-year-old daughter, and a 2-year-old son. I’m not really sure what I do for fun; I’m still figuring that out. [13:01] Paul- When did you realize that perhaps you had a drinking problem? Leah- I grew up with drinkers. My dad will still get wasted and he is in his 70’s. I would watch him pass out at the table at 7:00, and that was normal. It really hit home over the past few years. I would go to bed drunk, and wake up foggy and disconnected from everybody. I didn’t drink to relax; I drank to feel normal again. [17:35] Paul- With 19 days of sobriety have you noticed an uptick of being mindful and present in the moment? Leah- Absolutely. I want to give a spin on my story as a mom. It is hard to have moms admit that they are an alcoholic. As a mom, I would watch other moms accomplish so many tasks, and didn’t know when they had time to drink. Now I have all this energy to do things. I took my 2-year-old running. [20:28] Paul- 19 days ago was something building up? Was there a rock bottom moment? Leah- I didn’t want to quit drinking. I wanted to change my life to accommodate drinking. For the past 2 years we have had some family issues. I am not the person I wanted to be, and it started to impact my happiness. [27:58] Paul- What was it like the first 24, 48,72 hours? Leah- I had thought over the past year that I wasn’t physically addicted. I had a habit, and I had to create a new habit. Now I drink coffee when I get home instead of wine. [35:08] Paul- If you had an open schedule, would you go to an AA meeting? Leah- Yes. I am skeptical, but I have gotten to the point where I realized you can get something valuable from whatever is out there. Y
Mon, July 10, 2017
RE 125: Focus on the Action and Not the Results
Paul discusses the webinar, which took place in Café Re, and focused on why taking action is so hard. It’s much better to focus on the action and not the results. We are definitely in a results oriented society. Focus on the journey and not the destination. Success can follow a flawed effort, and failure can follow a flawless effort. If your happiness is predicated on your success, and if your success is predicated on a specific outcome, then you are setting yourself up for a high likelihood of frustration and disappointment. If you instead let go the need for any particular outcome, you increase your chances for success and contentment. View each attempt as practice for the next attempt. Dawn with a sobriety date of November 27th 2016, shares her story. SHOW NOTES [8:09] Paul Introduces Dawn. I’m single, 42, and I’m from Poole in the U.K. In the daytime I work in accounts, in the evening I’m generally working on my blog. I love going out to dinner with friends, and walking to work. Set myself a challenge to do 10,000 steps a day. [10:10] Paul- Tell us more about this experiment to live you life without alcohol. Dawn- The plan was to give up alcohol for a year. I was struck down with flu, and I gave up alcohol then, instead of waiting until the New Year. I decided to write down my journey, and document it on my blog. It’s been filled with positivity. [13:35] Paul- The way I’ve made it this far in sobriety, and been successful, is that I looking at it as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice. Is that something that you are experiencing as well? You’re looking at this as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice? Dawn- Yeah, definitely. I don’t think I realized how unhappy I was drinking. I was more of a binge drinker than a drink everyday, drink in the morning type person. My weekend would be properly drinking from Friday through Sunday. Drinking copious amounts of alcohol to the point that I was sick the next day. I don’t see that as a sacrifice, giving that up that kind of mentality, since it was so much binging and purging. [14:53] Paul- When did you first realize that perhaps that you wanted to quit drinking? Was it something that happened? Dawn- I was conscience that I was drinking too much in one sitting, not remembering how I got home, kind of dangerous drinking really. If I drove somewhere I would have nothing, instead of a single glass of wine. Because if I had one, it wouldn’t stay at one. Once I started, it was difficult to stop. [18:06] Paul- Can you tell me about a time when you started drinking and you found the “off switch” a little difficult to find? Was that progressive for you? Did it become harder and harder to stop? Dawn- Yeah, I was born without an “off switch”. The first time I really remember getting drunk I was probably abou
Mon, July 03, 2017
RE 124: It Helps To Talk About It
Garrett, with 16 days since his last drink, shares his story SHOW NOTES [ 9:15 ] Paul Introduces Garrett. I’ve had stretches of sobriety, I had 14 months, and I’ve had 3 years. I live in Southern California, in Santa Clarita. I work in outside sales, which is a non-structured job perfect for an alcoholic with hangovers. I’m 43, married, like going to Dodger Games. I have 2 kids, 1 in high school, and one in junior high. [10:45] Paul- What was the impotence behind you quitting alcohol for 3 years, and then for 14 months? Garrett- The hangovers for me are the body’s way of saying you’ve put a bunch of poison willingly in your body, and this is the result of it. I would be laid out for a full day. Thinking in the moment there is no possible way this could happen again. The feeling in my stomach, I can’t move, or get out of the bed until 4:00 or 5:00 in the evening. One of those times I stopped for 3 years, didn’t go to any program. I lost weight, and started drinking again without any reason. I would romanticize drinking, and once I got the buzz, there was no way I could stop now. I would have to drink to continue with only a short window of feeling good. The cost of that was being completely laid out the entire next day. [13:35] Paul- What was it like when you first drank after 3 years? Do you remember the first night? Did you pick up right where you left off? Garrett- No, not really. It was a gradual thing, a slow buildup. My elevator is kind of chaotic; it’s like the elevator at the tower of terror at Disney world. At that point it was gradual. I would wait for people to go to sleep, get a six-pack, and when that was gone, drunk drive to the liquor store and buy some more. I would start with a bottle of wine, then I would go back to the store for tall boys. I don’t know how many I would buy, but I would wake out, the room would start completely shaking, I would close my eyes, and that would be it. [15:45] Paul- Garrett you mentioned a word earlier that I would like to explore- Fascinating. You would tell yourself I’m only having a couple, but then just game on. Can you tell me more about that fascinating part for you? Garrett- It was complete and total amnesia every single time. Forgetting the hangovers. The amount of times I would lose not doing the things I wanted to do because I would be hung-over. Because I’m not a bum in the street, I didn’t feel I was a true alcoholic. [19:30] Paul- Was there a rock bottom moment 16 days ago? How come you quit drinking? Garrett- It wasn’t a single rock bottom. I have season tickets for the Dodgers. If there was ever a sport made for sitting and drinking beer it is baseball. The beer vendor at the stadium recognized me; I would have to go different vendors because I was embarrassed. The drunk driving home
Mon, June 26, 2017
RE 123: The Drunkest Cities in America
Mary, with 3 years since her last drink, shares her story…. We all think that the cities we live in should be on the “Nations Drunkest Cities” list. The state of Wisconsin wins the prize for the largest number of cities on this list. Listed below are a few of the favorites: Greenbay, WI O’Clair, WI Appleton, WI Fargo, ND Missoula, MT Iowa City, IA Lincoln, NE Milwaukee, WI SHOW NOTES [6:31] Paul Introduces Mary Mary – I am 3 years sober, live in Louisiana and am married with 5 children. I like to run and bike and am currently raising puppies. I am a college student and am enjoying getting to know my new sober self. [9:32] Mary tells the story of her younger 13 year old self Mary – I was 13 years old and baby-sitting an infant. I invited some friends over and we started drinking. I left the baby in her crib and we drove around. I backed the car into a ditch and hit a palm tree. The police ended up bringing me home. [12:23] Mary describes her drinking habits Mary – I was a daily beer drinker and would try to abide by my rules of not drinking before 5 pm. This never worked. At night, if I couldn’t sleep, I would have a drink. If I woke up later in the night, I would have another drink. Pretty soon my window of “not drinking” had shrunk. [14:00] Did you see any signs that you had a problem? Mary – If I went out, I would immediately have to have a drink and was always looking for the next one. I would start my night with some drinks at home. In my 20’s and 30’s, I surrounded myself with other drinkers so it seemed normal. My drinking really took off in my 40’s. I started noticing I had a problem more when I became a mom. [17:21] What was the progression like into alcoholism? Mary – 1 drink was never enough. I started focusing more on when I could have a drink. Alcohol helped me cope with life. I hated myself. [18:03] Tell me about this self- loathing Mary – I used to think “this is as good as it gets?” I had accepted that my life was going to suck. [18:45] Did you have a bottom? Mary – I had grown sick and tired of drinking. My family called me out as being drunk when I was slurring my speech. A close friend of mine went to rehab. I stopped drinking in order to support him. As each day passed, I could not believe that I was still not drinking. I went to Al-Anon in order to further support my friend. [21:05] How did you do it? Mary – I kept going to Al-Anon. When I visited my friend, he took me to a meeting. As I sat there listening, I realized I wanted what they had. I worked the 12 steps. My life has changed to being joyous and free. It is freeing not having any
Mon, June 19, 2017
RE 122: Lessons Learned From a Weekend With Drunk People
Becky, with 10 months since her last drink, shares her story………… What I learned after spending the weekend with 12 other people at a lake house: People did not care that I was not drinking People were appreciative to have a designated driver Drunk people have the memory of a goldfish Hangovers still suck Noticed potential problem drinkers Everyone overshot their mark Alcohol makes you act like an ass The yawn game sucks Snap Chat only exists because of drunk people Sober check ins are a good idea You can do sober weekends SHOW NOTES [11:30] Paul Introduces Becky. Becky – I have been sober for 10 months and live in Indiana. I work in the HR industry, am married and have 2 children. I like to garden and cook. [13:00] Tell me about hearing your friend Lisa on the RE podcast. Becky – I was starting to listen to a variety of podcasts on sobriety and heard Lisa’s story. I reached out to her via face book and she talked me through the process of AA. I was able to ask her questions. Something was guiding me. [18:00] When did you realize you had a problem? Becky – I was a binge drinker in high school but my drinking tapered off during my first marriage. I soon fell into having a glass of wine every night as a reward. I suffered from a major episode of depression and my therapist suggested I stop drinking. After the depression lifted, I continued drinking 1-2 bottles a night. I tried moderating but could not stop. I felt miserable inside. [20:30] Tell me about your “yets”. Becky – I would stumble around parking lots and pass out on the sidewalk. Anything could have happened. I would usually drink after a long day at work. I knew my mother was an alcoholic but I had so much shame that I could not stop. I suffered from black outs and self- loathing. [24:21] How did you get sober? Becky – I spoke with Lisa and told my husband. During the first week, I went to meetings. The first 30 days were tough both physically and mentally. Shortly after 30 days, I started to feel better. [27:16] How was your patience during the first 30 days? Becky – I was anxious and very short on patience during the first 30 days. The more I fought the craving, the worse it got. I allowed the craving to wash over me instead of fighting it. I was able to take a step back and just look at it. [29:00] Paul and Becky talk about her hesitation with AA because of God Becky – I was probably an agnostic before AA. I did not know how I was going to bring God into my life. But there were too many coincidences. There had to be a type of HP intervening. I just know that I could not do this by myself. Some people choose G.
Mon, June 12, 2017
RE 121: Recovery Can be Confusing
Dan, with 27 years since his last drink, shares his story…… The new Café RE Blue has been launched. This face book group will cap @ 200. If you would like to join, go to www.recoveryelevator.com . Enter the promo code 1month to get the first month for free. Getting sober can be confusing. 14 medical schools only offer 1 class on addiction so it is no wonder doctors do not always “get it.” Just how do we navigate sobriety? Since alcohol is legal and we are bombarded by an estimated 50 alcohol related ads a day, the path is not always clear. We often think we are cured after having some consecutive days of sobriety but achieving emotional sobriety is where the real work happens. The main point to remember is that recovery can take different paths. What works for one may not work for another. Since this disease tells us that we do not have a disease, we have to be ever mindful of that inner voice and realize that we do not have to have all of the answers. Help is available, but you have to ask. SHOW NOTES [9:27] Paul Introduces Dan Dan – I have been sober for 27 years and am from New Hampshire. I am a professional skier, film producer and love most things outdoors. [12:06] When did you realize that you had a problem? Dan – I was always a partier. During high school, I was a daily pot smoker and weekend binge drinker. I always wanted to be around people who were drinking. I had this mental obsession with booze and drinking was a part of my life. [15:23] Did your drinking progress faster as you continued using? Dan – I was introduced to cocaine in the 8th grade. My tolerance progressed and drinking and driving was just normal for me. [17:11] Were you always chasing those euphoric feelings? Dan – I was always chasing the rush of the party. We would throw huge parties any time that we could. [18:00] Did you have a rock bottom? Dan – We got kicked off of a booze cruise after only 45 minutes. I told everyone I was going to stop using but instead I hid it. One of my friend’s mothers was in AA and she could tell that I was not comfortable in my own skin. I went to a meeting and first learned of the term “stinkin thinkin” [22:35] What finally worked? Dan – I was involved in a tragic storm accident in Russia that resulting in people losing their lives. There was a lot of fallout from this accident. Anger built up within me and soon I started drinking and using again. I reached out to my friend’s mother and she got me into an outpatient center. I also got into therapy and started going to more meetings. I traveled for my job and got sober going to meetings all over the world. [29:18] What is your day like? Dan – I am involved in a
Mon, June 05, 2017
RE 120: Another One Joins Team Sobriety
Jason, with 4 years since his last drink, shares his story……………. Sign up now, there are only 3 spots left for the RE Retreat in Bozeman, MT ( www.recoveryelevator.com ) Paul reviews the GQ interview with Brad Pitt. Pitt states that he was boozing too much and learned that either you deny your feelings and stay where you are or you feel the feelings and evolve. He did not want to live that way anymore. Pitt is learning to accept the things about himself that he does not like. SHOW NOTES [9:13] Paul Introduces Jason Jason – I have been sober for 4 years and live in Big Sky, MT. I am a firefighter/paramedic and enjoy outdoor activities. [11:10] How did you meet your wife? Jason – I had walked into a bar in the middle of a scuffle. My “soon to be” wife was on the ground and bleeding from her head. I felt the need to come to her rescue. We have been married for 9 years now. [13:45] When did you realize that you had a problem? Jason – I did not know I had a problem because all of my family were heavy drinkers. One night I went out with friends and drank very heavily and then drove home. The next morning I had the worst hangover of my life. I really thought I was having a medical emergency, I felt so bad. [16:46] What were your drinking habits like? Jason – For the last 10 years, I would get off of work and start drinking. I would spend the last 2 days of my days off sobering up. We had lots of house parties where there was plenty of drinking. My wife and I would also take yearly sailing excursions. They would turn into 2 weeks of binge drinking. [19:48] How did you get sober? Jason – I reached out to a family friend who has been sober for 42 years. At first I did not want to go any meetings but I had wanted my wife to stop drinking so we both ended up going to a meeting. The meeting was a total mix of people and completely changed my life. [23:59] How do you remain sober? Jason – I go to AA meetings. In early sobriety, I would just show up at meetings and listen. Currently, I stay very involved with my sober community. I also send out daily recovery related e-mails. It helps me stay accountable. If anyone else would like to be added to this e-mail list, send Jason and e-mail (jgras@sailingscubeadventures.com) [29:52] Paul and Jason discuss being a grateful alcoholic Jason – I have learned to be grateful and humble. The program has allowed me to change. It has been a journey through self-restoration. [31:51] Paul and Jason discuss Sober Scuba Sailing Tours Jason – My wife and I thought it would be a great idea to offer sober sailing excursions. We are organizing a trip in Ju
Mon, May 29, 2017
RE 119: The 13th Step
Kari, with 4 years since her last drink, shares her story………………. Café RE is now on a waitlist to join. Once the list gets to approximately 30-40 people, another group will be formed. To be placed on the waitlist, go to www.recoveryelevator.com and click on the Café RE tab at the top of the page. Enter the promo code RE1month to join. Paul reviews the video “The 13th Step.” The 13th step (where new comers are “preyed” upon by others in AA) is joked about in and out of the rooms. The fact is that courts are ordering violent sexual predators to AA for a plea deal. AA should not be a punishment but 40-60% of its attendees are court ordered. This movie depicts AA in a negative light. Sure, there are flaws with AA. Every program has negative aspects and positive aspects. I personally dislike movies that bash any recovery program. SHOW NOTES [ 8:39 ] Paul Introduces Kari Kari – I am 4 years sober and live in Montana. I am married and enjoy skiing, hiking, biking and running. [11:42] What were your drinking habits like? Kari – I drank through high school but it really ramped up after college. I was a binge and social drinker but would drink until I blacked out. I would often try and regulate my drinking and could do this for a little while. I would track my drinks on a calendar but was miserable when I tried to moderate. [22:00] Did you have a bottom? Kari – After my college boyfriend committed suicide, I just didn’t care to keep my drinking in check. Another bottom was when I locked myself out of my truck after a concert. My husband had to come and get me. He was very angry and I came to the realization that my life and marriage would not continue if I was still drinking. [29:17] How did you get sober? Kari – I reached out to some friends who were in AA and attended my first meeting. I immediately knew that I belonged. I saw hope in these meetings and a light at the end of the tunnel. [36:00] Describe what your day is like. Kari – Every morning I do some type of reading about recovery (Today’s a Gift, Each Day a New Beginning). I enjoy the beauty around me and it helps keep me grounded. I say thank you every night. [39:30] Paul and Kari discuss her recent sailing trip Kari – Both my husband and I were nervous that we wouldn’t have fun. We still enjoyed our fruit drinks without alcohol and kept up our tradition of drinking during the sunsets. I was able to remember the entire sailing trip. [42:40] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? when I was in college and went up to the rooftop thinking it would be a good idea to jump Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? when I realized I couldn’t control my drinking
Mon, May 22, 2017
RE 118: The Black Dog
Steph, with 6 months since her last drink, shares her story Café RE is now on a waitlist to join. Once the list gets to approximately 30-40 people, another group will be formed. To be placed on the waitlist, go to www.recoveryelevator.com and click on the Café RE tab at the top of the page. Enter the promo code RE1month to join. It is often said that our HP will not give us more than we can handle. For the last 8-10 months, Paul has been suffering from depression. Around this time, he received a link from his brother about the black dog aka depression ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc ). God shout out? The video basically describes how depression creeps up on you whenever it wants to. It is very exhausting trying to keep the symptoms of depression hidden from others. Depression is like losing all of the joy in your life. Your addiction can start talking to you and may say that 1 drink may help. But this is only temporary. Drinking will not help! SHOW NOTES [9:00] Paul Introduces Steph. Steph – I am 6 months sober and feeling great! I am 46 years old, married and have 2 daughters. I currently live in Canada and enjoy cooking and gardening. [9:25] When did you first realize that you had a problem? Steph – I have known that I had a drinking problem for the last 25 years. I would drink and drive, blackout, etc. and went to a few AA meetings in my early 20’s. I was sober for 3 years. I do not think that I was ready to give it up entirely yet and started drinking again. My drinking started out slow but steadily got worse. I worked in bars and surrounded myself with other drinkers. After I had my children, I tried to moderate but would still drink to get through the stress of parenting. [15:53] What was it like to start drinking again after taking some time off? Steph – After my pregnancies, my drinking very rapidly increased. I reached a point where I was physically addicted and had to drink to keep the symptoms of withdrawal away. If I did not drink, I would get severe anxiety. [18:35] Did you have a rock bottom moment? Steph – I tried to quit cold turkey and ended up in the hospital. My children saw me being put into an ambulance. 1 week later, I was drinking again. I felt like I had severely damaged my brain chemistry with all of the alcohol and I could not sleep without sleeping pills. I eventually felt suicidal. [20:45] How did you get sober 6 months ago? Steph – I had to start tapering off because I was so physically addicted. My husband helped me by locking up all of the alcohol and only giving me limited amounts each day. I slowly decreased the amount of vodka over 10-12 days. I really wanted to get sober so I did not driv
Mon, May 15, 2017
RE 117: Alcohol Does Not Bolster Intelligence
Ashley, with 16 days since her last drink, shares her story….. Do not forget the AALRM race in Bozeman MT, on 5/20. This supports recovery. You can also sign up to do a virtual run at www.recoveryelevator.com\run . Enter promo code “recovery” for a discount. The Café RE private face book group will be capped at 300 members. If you would like to join the original group, now is the time to sign up. Go to www.recoveryelevator.com and enter the promo code RE1 to get your first month free. Alcohol does not make us more intelligent. We all know that drinking and drinking is not good. When we start drinking, our mind starts to shift and suddenly is seems like a good idea. We only have a short distance to drive, right? The statistics show that we drink and drive 76 times before getting caught. Drinking also causes us to say and do stupid things, like trying to coax a poodle to run across 5 lanes of traffic, or shout out that a girl had a funky looking toe at a bar. It you would like to send an e-mail with the most unintelligent thing you have ever done while drinking, drop a line to info@recoveryelevator.com. SHOW NOTES [11:22] Paul Introduces Ashley. Ashley – I have been sober for 16 days and feel more focused this time. I am from Iowa, 32 years old and have 3 sons. I am trying to find new sober hobbies. [13:11] When did you first notice that you had a problem? Ashley – I started drinking at the age of 12. I would party with older people. I was sneaking booze at the age of 14 and my family sent me away to a home. By the time, I was 21, I had 3 children and 2 DUI’s. I still did not think that I had a problem. I later lost my license for 5 years. I was home alone, couldn’t drive and my drinking really took off. [16:11] Was it hard getting sober at such a young age? Ashley – It has been really hard since everyone I know drinks. I am trying to distance myself from my drinker friends and find sober friends. [17:47] You were sober before. What happened to cause you to drink again? Ashley – I was doing a cleanse to try and lose some weight. But then a concert came around and I drank there. I stopped for a few weeks but went to a funeral where everyone was drinking. I ended up doing a shot and it was game on from there. I drank for 6 days straight after that. I just couldn’t say no whenever someone offered me a drink. [21:11] Did you ever put any rules in place to try and control your drinking? Ashley – I’ve tried every rule imaginable; from only drinking on the weekends, to never drinking at home, or only drinking after the children went to bed. [24:00] How did you get sober this time? Ashley – I try and go t
Mon, May 08, 2017
RE 116: Duped by Alcohol
Laura, with 41 days since her last drink, shares her story……. Do you ever feel duped by alcohol? Throughout high school, we were all told to “just say no” to drugs but not much was ever said about alcohol. The reality is that only 1 in 10 people with an alcohol problem get treatment. The research shows that the number 1 most addictive drug is alcohol. It kills more people than all other drugs combined. In 2015, Paul started the RE podcast just to stay accountable for himself. Now, the podcast has gotten so popular because so many people are still struggling. Even though addiction is a chronic disease of the brain, the stigma attached keeps people from getting the help that they need. The challenge for all of us in recovery is to be open about out alcohol use, and get it out in the open. SHOW NOTES [13:29] Paul Introduces Laura. Laura – I am 40 years old and have not had a drink in 41 days. I am married with 2 boys and I live in Michigan. I am a special education teacher and enjoy most outdoor activities. [16:41] When did you realize that you had a problem? Laura – I had been drinking pretty heavily since my 20’s. Last summer when I wanted to stop, I could not. During a routine physical, I mentioned to my Dr. that I had some liver issues and that perhaps I should go to rehab. He advised against it stating that there were only drug abusers in there. He suggested I see their social worker but she wouldn’t see me because I was still drinking. I felt like I was going around and around. I even tried Harm reduction which did not work. [19:46] When you stopped drinking did your health problems go away? Laura – not entirely but they have gotten better. I exercise more since I am not drinking and that makes me feel better. My rheumatoid arthritis is still there. I thought that once I quit drinking, I would be pain free but that was not the case. After 40 days of not drinking, I am starting to feel some relief from pain. I have started reading “The All Day Energy Diet.” [23:14] Paul and Laura discuss the Harm Reduction Plan. Laura – you are supposed to moderate and keep track of how many drinks you have each day. It wasn’t working for me. I found it difficult remaining in contact with the other people in the group. School started and things got crazy so I started drinking again every night. I wanted to stop but just didn’t want to put the work in to do it. [25:25] How did that feel when you wanted to stop but just wasn’t ready? Laura – I could get a few days of sobriety under my belt but would always drink on that 3rd day. I was a responsible drinker and would get everything done in my household by 8pm so that I could start drinking. [30:00] So how did you get 41 days of sobriety? Laura – I kept myself very busy
Mon, May 01, 2017
RE 115: Big Alcohol
Julie, with 92 days sober, shares her story……… Big alcohol companies like to blame the individual rather than the poison that they sell. The liquor industry spends millions of dollars on advertisements that tell us we should drink responsibly. If we do not drink responsibly, than we are to blame. We should know when to say when, right? The facts show that alcohol kills 85,000 people each year. But to the companies selling the booze, money is the name of the game. These companies make billions while avoiding high taxes because alcohol is not taxed as high as other beverages. *********************************Don’t be duped by alcohol advertisements***************************************** SHOW NOTES [9:21] Paul Introduces Julie Julie – I have been sober for 92 days and it feels really good. I did not think that I could do it. I am 35 years old and work as a nurse. I enjoy music and going to concerts. [11:00] When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol? Julie – I have known for years. I just could never get enough. My first issue was with drugs so I did not focus on my alcohol problem. I went to rehab for drug abuse in 2010 and stayed sober for 18 months after that. The rehab helped with my drug use but then I turned to alcohol. When I tried to quit alcohol, I had hallucinations and ended up spending 4 days in the psych ward. [14:24] What happened after your 18 months of sobriety? Julie – I had already started planning to drink. I knew I was going to attend another concert and thought I could drink normally. I ended up drinking so much that I blacked out and continued to drink for 5 more years. I always told myself, “when _______ happens,” I will stop drinking. But I never stopped. I woke up each morning feeling defeated, angry and bitter. [18:00] Was your rock bottom 92 days ago? Julie – I did not have a bottom 92 days ago. I was just tired of being sick and tired. I kept wondering when I was going to lose my medical license. I knew it was just a matter of time before this happened. Then, I thought I would try to quit and when it didn’t work, I could at least say that I had tried. [19:05] Paul asks Julie how she got sober 92 days ago. Julie – I listened to a lot of podcasts and made it to 30 days. I was feeling really good but still ordered a glass of wine while at lunch with my brother. I did not even enjoy it. I finally admitted to my family that I was done drinking. [21:23] Paul and Julie discuss accountability. Julie – My family has been super supportive of my sobriety. I try to take it 1 situation at a time. I still have not been completely honest with them about how much I was consuming but my parents are very encouraging to me. [25:00] Wha
Mon, April 24, 2017
RE 114: Genetic Predispositions to Alcohol
Coral, with 7 months since her last drink, shares her story…… Do we have to say it again? Let’s drop the stigma regarding addiction. The research shows that alcoholics have a genetic predisposition towards alcohol. It is not a character defect, nor a moral weakness. Yet, even after these results are published, about 20% of the general population, along with many psychiatrists still believe that it is a personal weakness. Kenneth Bloom conducted early experiments on neurology and molecular genetics. Hundreds of these experiments showed that alcoholism is hereditary. Many adoption studies have also been done and they show that children with at least 1alcoholic biological parent were 3 to 4 times more likely to become an alcoholic, regardless of their non-alcoholic adoptive parents. When an alcoholic drinks, our neurotransmitters go awry and our bodies break down booze differently than normal drinkers. That’s the facts folks. SHOW NOTES [14:08] Paul Introduces Coral. Coral – I am 32 years old and live in Idaho. I work in an industrial plant. I am married and have a 9 year old son. [16:08] Did you think you had a problem with drinking? Coral – My husband and I have been trying to conceive but after our IVF failed, I went on a 2 week bender, full of self- pity. I would grab a beer first thing in the morning. Drinking was not helping anything. Now it just feels surreal to be sober. I did not think that I could do it. Drinking has always been a part of my life. But being in a recovery program keeps me from getting stagnant. [19:21] When did you realize that you had a problem? Coral – There were plenty of times I told myself that I should slow down. These slow down plans never worked. I would try to limit hard liquor or not drink during the day. Sometimes I was able to slow down but it never lasted long. [22:11] Paul and Coral discuss her bottoms. Coral – One of my worst memories was having some new friends over to my house for a BBQ. I ended up tripping over something in the yard and fell into the fire pit. I was burned over 10% of my body. Even after this, I never looked at myself as having a problem. It took a few months to re-cooperate after this accident. I was on heavy pain medications and still drank while on them. After 3 months, I went to the doctor to get a refill of my pain medication. He would not refill my prescription and I ended up going through withdrawal. [26:00] How did you quit drinking 7 months ago? Coral – I started listening to podcastsand going to meetings. I joined the Club Soda club on-line and I also started seeing a therapist. [30:00] Paul and Coral discuss her relationship with her husband and his drinking. Coral – My husband was also a drinker and struggles a little bit. He has b
Mon, April 17, 2017
RE 113: Healthcare, Alcohol, and Addiction
Michael, with 32 years since his last drink, shares his story. In a recent CNN interview with Jeremy Broderick, he talks about how the GOP replacement plan for Obamacare makes things worse for the addict. Many treatment plans were covered under Medicaid as well as the Affordable Care Act. Trump-care isn’t what is seems to be and pushes more for accessibility instead of universal coverage. In the meantime, 200 people die a day while the government sorts this out. It is estimated that for every $1.00 spent on treatment, $4.00 is saved on healthcare and for every $1.00 spent on education/prevention, $50.00 is saved on healthcare. SHOW NOTES [8:18] Paul Introduces Michael Michael – I am 60 years old with 32 years of sobriety. I have 2 twin sons and I run health and wellness websites. I like to walk, hike and meet like-minded people. [10:48] When did you realize that you had a problem? Michael – it was long before I was 28 years old. I started drinking alcoholically at age 14. I was in an accident and arrested for DUI at the age of 19. My drinking slowed down a little when my uncle died but I picked up smoking weed instead. Cocaine was finally my downfall. I was starting to spend hours in blackouts and was continuously apologizing for things that I had done. [13:14] What were your drinking habits like? Michael – During nights’ outs, I could drink 20 bottles of beer. We would go out to the bars starting at midnight and drink until 7am. [14:08] Did you ever put any rules into place to control your drinking? Michael – I couldn’t start drinking early in the day because I would keep going. I intentionally started drinking later in the day so that I had a chance to make it home safely. [15:23] What drug do you think led you to cocaine? Pot or alcohol? Michael – It was probably the pot. I needed it when I first woke up in the morning just to be able to get to work. [16:04] How did you do it? Michael – I started going to meetings and was completely overwhelmed by the love of the community. They enveloped me with their hugs and love. Our motto was hugs, not drugs. I went to 1 sober party after another. There wasn’t any time to do drugs. I learned to be careful who I surrounded myself with. Build your community of sober friends. Community is everything to me. I never feel alone when I surround myself with people who are moving in the same direction. There is no addiction sigma within these sober communities. [22:29] Did you start with NA or AA? Michael – I started with NA and we were a small group. We were sponsoring 5-10 people at a time. I received some advice that I should try an AA meeting in order to see what longer term sobriety was. My first AA meeting had some old timers who basica
Mon, April 10, 2017
RE 112: Can I Successfully Cut Down or Control My Drinking?
Heath, with 40 days since his last drink, shares his story….. *****Please review the RE podcast in iTunes***** Can we taper off alcohol? It is nearly impossible to cut back on alcohol because it is so addictive. Our own addictive mind lies to us and tells us that we can cut back. In all of the interviews done on the Recovery Elevator podcast, there has not been 1 interviewee who claimed they were able to moderate. If you have, send a message to info@recoveryelevator.com . Paul would love to interview you! What happens when we try to taper down our alcohol consumption? Each day gets more painful than the last as we try to limit our drinks. We often try to implement rules to control ourselves but these never last. The question to ask yourself is, “Where does alcohol stand on your priority list?” SHOW NOTES [10:00] Paul Introduces Heath. Heath – I am 40 days sober, live in Atlanta and am 41 years old. I enjoy running, working out and spending time with my 9 year old daughter. [11:14] When did you realize that you had a problem? Heath – I knew that I had a problem all of my life. The last few years I have been trying to get sober. I finally wanted to get sober for myself. [12:19] Did you ever put any rules in place? Heath – I could not drink around my wife so I needed to keep my drinking limited to 9-5. I would occasionally go without drinking for a few weeks. Being self-employed made it difficult to remain sober. I turned to marijuana and Xanax to try and get through the day. Once the Xanax ran out, I went back to drinking. [16:19] Did you hit a rock bottom? Heath – I had multiple accidents where I totaled cars but this time nothing big actually happened. I thought to myself that either I have to deal with this now or deal with it later. [17:31] How did you do it? Heath – I kept very busy the first week of sobriety. Exercise was super important and I started running every day. I also go to SMART meetings. I want to be prepared once the pink cloud dissipates. When I go to SMART meetings, I try to look for similarities. When I see that someone has relapsed, I immediately think that I do not want that to be me. [24:23] How have your relationships changed? Heath – I no longer carry any guilt. My wife is still skeptical that I have quit for good but my daughter is super thrilled that I am sober. [25:30] How have your cravings been? Heath – When I first got a craving I raced right to the gym. 45 minutes on the elliptical machine stopped that craving. Exercise releases the endorphins I need. [27:36] What have you learned about yourself? Heath – I am not as anxious as I thought I was. Once I got off the
Mon, April 03, 2017
RE 111: Is Quitting Drinking a Sacrifice?
Lou, with 2 years since his last drink, shares his story… 5/20/17 – Join us for Run for Recovery in Bozeman, MT. Not a runner? Sign up for a virtual run @ RecoveryElevator.Com/Run. Enter promo code recoveryelevator to receive $5.00 off. Is quitting drinking a sacrifice? We often fear that we are giving up on pleasure if we have to give up alcohol. This is absolutely false. If we are in the right mind set when we quit drinking, there will not be any void. Instead, you will be giving up all of the shitty things that booze does to you. Soberity is not a sacrifice but an opportunity. SHOW NOTES [7:46] Paul Introduces Lou. Lou – I have been sober for 2 years and live in NJ. I am 27 years old and enjoy meditation, yoga and living for a higher purpose. My work is my fun. [9:17] When was your rock bottom? Lou – My actual sobriety date was not my bottom. I fell in love with drinking during high school and college. I was arrested for attempted burglary in college because I was trying to get into people’s houses during a blackout. I made some bad decisions that were very shameful. I started seeing where I could have been and comparing it to where I actually was. I had been living for the weekends and the rave parties. In 2014 I heard a whisper that said, “I’ve got to stop this.” I started my journey towards personal development and connected with some young ambitious people. I finally started to see that I had a higher purpose than drugs and alcohol. [20:46] Paul and Lou discuss meditation. Lou – I was hiking up in Joshua State Park when I decided to stop and meditate. I started breathing and fell into a loving peace that I had never felt before. I kept thinking, “You are fulfilled.” The next day I started journaling. Again, I felt the spiritual experience. “Do I want what life has to offer?” I decided, at that point, that I needed to quit drinking. [27:29] How did you quit drinking? Lou – I wrote in my journal – On this day, I am done drinking. Started with just 1 day at a time. I kept having these spiritual energy experiences. I felt a call for a higher purpose. I quit my job without any notice which was totally out of character for me. My co-workers sent the police to my house. They were afraid that I was going to commit suicide. [31:00] Did you use AA? Lou – I did not go to AA. I had such a spiritual shift that I was a completely different person and did not want alcohol at all. [32:30] What advice would you give to your younger self. Lou – Look at who you are surrounding yourself with. Life is a natural high. You can live an exciting life without drugs and alcohol. [33:00] What do you value most in sobriety? Lou – I am proud of being a non-drinker. I do not feel lab
Mon, March 27, 2017
RE 110: Does Alcohol Give Us Courage?
Chris, with 11 months since his last drink, shares his story…… Does alcohol relieve our fears? Absolutely not. It may initially feel like it does but what booze is really doing is taking away our survival instincts. It removes our ability to face our fear (and fear is there for a reason). We become the turtle hiding away in its’ shell. Or worse yet, alcohol takes away our inhibitions which can put us in dangerous situations. It doesn’t make us courageous. We may feel like Superman after 1-2 drinks but who stops there? Alcohol impairs our judgement and we end up attempting to fly like Superman, but without a cape. SHOW NOTES [8:58] Paul Introduces Chris. Chris – I have been sober for 347 days and it feels great! I am 45 years old and live in Portland Oregon. I am married with a 12 year old daughter. I like to travel, spend time with my family and watch stand-up comedy shows. [10:27] When did you first realize that you had a problem? Chris – I started noticing that I drank too much in my early 20’s but for the last 2 years I could not go without alcohol for a week. When my sister got married, I was pretty much in a blackout the entire week. My final bottom came after a vacation in Hawaii. On the last day I went on a total binge and couldn’t even be out in public. The day was entirely wasted and I had to sleep it off. I told my wife that I needed help and could not do it alone. [14:11] How did your wife react? Chris – We had both been trying to cut back and since she works in the healthcare field, she knew of some phone numbers I could call. I contacted the support line and was seen by a therapist the following day. I honestly told the therapist how much I had been drinking and he informed me that I was destroying my liver. This was a good thing for me to hear. It made me realize just how bad my drinking had gotten. [17:53] What type of treatment did you receive? Chris – I saw a therapist pretty quickly and then told my wife how much I had been consuming. She was surprised when I told her I had been hiding it. [19:25] What was your first week of sobriety like? Chris – The first few days were physically rough but after the 1rst month I felt great. Mentally, it is still tough. I still have days that feel fuzzy. Drinking caused me to lose that spiritual light. [21:33] How are your relationships now? Chris – my relationship with my daughter is better than ever. I am finding new layers to me by reading and doing self-help work. My wife and I are working on our relationship. [22:33] What have you learned about yourself? Chris – I can survive discomfort and unhappy feelings without drinking. It is OK to not feel good sometimes. [24:45] What does a day in the life of Chris look like? Chris – I check the RE face book page every morning. I am learning to meditate but at least try and take some time to mys
Mon, March 20, 2017
RE 109: How To Quit Drinking
Mitchell, with 30 days since his last drink, shares his story How to quit drinking Do not drink. Replace the beverage in your hand with a Popsicle or a ginger beer Watch the movie Leaving Las Vegas and then watch it again Listen to every Third Eye Blind Song ever written Do not watch the movie Beer Fest Go to 90 meetings in 90 days Get a sponsor or an accountability partner Think about joining Café RE www.recoveryelevator.com/cafere Have you ever asked yourself, “Do I have a drinking problem?” Well think no more because that’s your answer Remember that alcohol is pure shit Affirmations - your unconscious mind is way ahead of you when it comes to viewing alcohol ads and advertisements. You constantly need to affirm to yourself that you will not be drinking. Change everything: where you get your haircut, the color of your walls, and probably most of the friends you hang out with. Tell the people closest to you that you will no longer be drinking. Create accountability = the most important thing on this list. You cannot quit drinking with willpower because willpower is finite and exhaustible. You might last a week or a month or a year, but eventually you will drink again. Find a higher power. This higher power could literally be a pigeon sitting on a power cable. I hate to break it to you, but you cannot do this alone. You are going to need a community of like- minded individuals. Whether this community is online, in person or your next-door neighbor, you are going to have to connect with other like-minded individuals. Did I mention that alcohol is shit? If you are just starting this journey, you do not know any answers yet. Please put the cotton in your mouth and start listening. If you ever say the words to yourself “I think I got this” you’re f@#$%@. Those are the three most dangerous words an alcoholic can say. Always give yourself an exit strategy. Drive your own car, scooter, skate board or hover board. It is right around that time when your friends start getting tipsy that the danger zone approaches and I’m not talking about the Top Gun soundtrack. Look at yourself in the mirror. What do you see? Do you like it? Do you want to change what you see? Ask yourself if you are reaching your full potential in life. Most likely if you are drinking that answer is no. Your dead relatives would not be proud. If you were thinking about quitting drinking for someone else, you’re f@#$%! You have to quit drinking for yourself. Do not beat yourself up. In fact, tell yourself that you are a rock star. Sure you might be an average guitar player who will never tour with Aerosmith, but you are worth it, you are damn worth it. You may find yourself quite bored without alcohol which is why you need to pick up new hobbies such as
Mon, March 13, 2017
RE 108: 5 Reasons Why We Drink Alcohol
Amanda, with 19 months since her last drink, shares her story Why we drink: Alcohol is everywhere. Drinking appears to be the norm. We are bombarded with alcohol advertisements 67 times a day. Our society has a love affair with booze. We have a genetic make-up to become addicted to alcohol. Our environment is flooded with alcohol. We think everything we do should be accompanied by alcohol. Alcohol is a highly addicted drug. We have shitty coping skills. Not on the list of why we drink: a moral failing or a weakness of character SHOW NOTES [ 7:45 ] Paul Introduces Amanda. How long have you been sober? Amanda – I have been sober for 19 months. This is the longest I have ever been sober. I feel very proud of myself. [ 8:51 ] What is your background? Amanda – I am from Mississippi but now live in Florida with my 15 year old daughter. [ 10:27 ] Did you ever try to put rules in place to moderate your drinking? Amanda – I started drinking when I was 16 so there were no rules in the beginning. I was that sloppy drunk girl in the room. I would start watching the clock for 5:00 which meant it was time to drink. [ 12:34 ] When did you first realize that you had a problem? Amanda – In 2010, one bad thing after another happened to me. I was put in jail for domestic violence. I was so ashamed of not being able to control myself with alcohol. I felt that I was a strong person since I had raised my daughter alone. I did not want to appear weak and vulnerable. [ 14:26 ] Amanda and Paul discuss the stigma of addiction. Amanda – I had twin cousins who died because of alcohol. Their memory and my daughter were the only reasons why I didn’t commit suicide myself. I felt like no one cared about me so why should I care about myself? [ 16:01 ] How did you get sober? Amanda – I did not use AA. I went to a rehab that taught the 12 steps but after I was released, there was no support. No one called or checked on me. My parents had basically just dropped me off at rehab. I still drank for 4 years and then turned to meth. I finally decided that I was either going to die or go back to jail. I moved to another state but was still hanging out with the same type of people. I knew I needed to give up booze so I started looking for something else to do. This led me to find a group of people who were into mud runs. I got into fitness. [ 21:42 ] Amanda and Paul discuss her days in rehab and her personal development. Amanda – I did not feel like anything had changed after my 60 days in rehab. Afterward I started looking into motivational development. Someone told me that I was born with a purpose. Everyone has the power to h
Mon, March 06, 2017
RE 107: What Is Mindfulness
Paul G with 10 years of sobriety, shares his story…… What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is basically a type of coping strategy. It is being in the moment, paying attention and being present. Why should we practice mindfulness? It is good for our bodies It helps boost our immune system It increases positive thoughts while decreasing negative thoughts It changes how the brain functions and helps us focus It enhances our relationships Unfortunately many alcoholics have terrible coping skills and we can live entirely in our head. Mindfulness training can help us stay in the moment. It is the art of being, not doing. SHOW NOTES [ 9:05 ] Paul C Introduces Paul G from Hope Rehab in Thailand. How long have you been sober? Paul G – over 10 years. My first round of rehab happened when I was 19 years old. [ 11:00 ] Tell our listeners a little about yourself. Paul G – I am originally from Ireland but now live in Thailand. I am married and have a 10 year old son [ 11:30 ] Did you ever try to implement rules to control your drinking? Paul G – I did not have any rules in place at the beginning of my drinking life. Alcohol gave me comfort. After taking my first drink, I finally liked who I was and where I was. I moved to England and worked in a bar where I was able to drink all day long. A girlfriend convinced me to leave that occupation and I realized I had not gone a day without drinking in many years. I went to rehab for her, not because I wanted to stop drinking. [ 16:14 ] Paul C and Paul G discuss his first stay in rehab. Paul G – After I left rehab, I did not stay sober. I knew if I drank, I would lose my girlfriend. I chose booze over the girl. I got back into school and immediately went on a drinking bender. I was having panic attacks and suffered from alcohol induced depression. I was just hoping for someone to get me psychiatric help because I could not even complete the forms to have myself admitted to the hospital. [ 19:11 ] So you basically drank yourself homeless? Paul G – Yes, I was walking the streets and wandered in to a recovery house. They sent me to a dry house for 1 year and stated that I did not need psychiatric help. My panic attacks had all been alcohol induced. I stayed sober for 2 years. [ 20:40 ] What happened after 2 years? Paul G – I got sick of thinking and talking about recovery. I had been so enthusiastic in early recovery but was starting to feel like I was missing out on something. The mental obsession had returned. Perhaps I had opened that door again. I was going to bars with my sober friends but it was a very slippery slope. [ 23:00 ] What was your bottom like? Paul G – I drank for another
Mon, February 27, 2017
RE 106: How Most People Get Sober
Henk, 5 years sober, shares his story….. How do most people get sober? We all assume that it is through rehab or 12 step programs and that your odds are slim if you try to do it on your own (www.addiction.com). During the 1980’s an idea was promoted that the only way you could get and stay sober was through rehab programs or AA. However, a study that followed problem drinkers from 2001-2005 showed that 85% of these drinkers got sober without any outside help (a phenomenon known as spontaneous or natural remission recovery). It should be noted that the majority of these people still had strong support systems at home and in their community. SHOW NOTES [ 7:53 ] How long have you been sober? Henk – I have been sober since Sept 13, 2010. I am originally from Holland but now live in Thailand where I for work for Hope Rehab. I also love to ride motor bikes. [ 9:30 ] When did you realize that you had a problem? Henk – I have been in and out of various treatment facilities since I was 23. At the age of 13, I began drinking and using drugs. This quickly escalated into selling drugs at the age of 15. By the time I turned 30, I had been in 5 long term treatment programs. They did not work because I did not want to stop drinking, I just wanted the problems to stop. [ 11:15 ] Do you think that alcohol is the gateway drink? Henk – Yes, when I drank I became a completely different person. We believe that it is more alcohol than marijuana that leads to destructive behavior. [ 12:29 ] Paul and Henk discuss what lead him to finally seek treatment Henk – My family did not want anything to do with me anymore. I had racked up high debts and I could not even take care of myself. I was living in dilapidated conditions. I finally realized that you cannot run away from what is in your head. You cannot drink those thoughts away. [ 13:37 ] What was the biggest difference between your last 2 rehabs? Henk – I had lost everything and was mentally and physically dying. I decided that I could not go back to that kind of life. [ 15:00 ] Paul and Henk discuss the “gift” of desperation Henk – The gift of desperation is very painful but it helped get me clean. It made me realize what I had done to myself. [ 16:32 ] Paul and Henk discuss the value of a fishing rod Henk – Right after leaving treatment, I found that I had no hobbies and no friends. I had to find some type of higher power and since I had a love of nature, I decided to buy a fishing pole. Anytime I was bored, angry, and lonely or upset, I would go to the canal and sit with my fishing pole. I would feel the wind and watch the water move. It really helped settle my mind. I also bought a pair of running shoes and began running. It was time
Mon, February 20, 2017
RE 105: Does Getting Sober Mean Just Not Drinking?
James, with 79 days sober, shares his story…….. Paul starts the show by recommending Annie Grace’s video course on how to get started in sobriety and how to make lasting changes. www.recoveryelevatory.com/Annie . Enter promo code elevator50 to receive $50 off. Does getting sober mean simply not drinking? No – not drinking equals a dry drunk. Getting stuck as a dry drunk also means that your life will not be as happy and fulfilling as it should be. This can lead to a slow downhill decline until you pick up drinking again. If giving up alcohol feels like a punishment, than you have entered into dry drunk land ( www.alcoholrehab.com ). Recovery does not mean returning to the life you had before drinking; it means moving through the challenges of what life throws your way. Symptoms of a dry drunk: Low stress tolerance Picking up other unhealthy choices (lay off the smokes Paul!) Loneliness Denial Refusal to accept what recovery means Romancing the drink Self-pity Being over-prideful Getting involved in meetings and being engaged in your recovery program can help you recognize these symptoms. If you feel like a dry drunk, you should examine your program to see what is missing. SHOW NOTES [ 12:30 ] Paul Introduces James who has been sober for 79 days. James feels lucky that the gifts and goodness of sobriety have come to him already. [ 13:15 ] James is 29 years old, lives in NJ and sells software. He enjoys going to the gym daily and golfing. [ 14:53 ] James discusses his drinking history James – I was your typical teenage binge drinker. When I went to college, I got involved with religion and the Bible and really did not drink much. After college, I ended up taking a job on Wall Street where drinking and drugs were prevalent. Even though I was drinking just like everyone else, I still struggled with my internal beliefs (Why are we all here?). I was making good money on Wall Street but my addictions kept me from making emotional connections. [19:25 ] James discusses how drugs and alcohol were only the solution. Reality was the real problem. James – I wanted to be able to look back on my life with pleasure regarding my relationships and the bonds that I had formed. Alcohol and drugs were keeping me from reaching this ultimate goal. I had tried to control my drinking but finally the pain was just too much to take. [ 21:06 ] James discusses his rock bottom James – I had been skidding against the rock for quite a while. I would go 3-4 weeks without drinking and then would just tear it up. This behavior went on for 2-3 years. It was like having 2 separate lives. I finally checked myself in to an o
Mon, February 13, 2017
Re 104: What I Learned In Rehab
Jeff, who has been sober since Dec 5, 2016, shares his story…… Paul starts the show recounting his 2 weeks visiting Hope Rehab in Thailand. (www.hope-rehab-center-thailand.com) What I learned in Rehab People came for other drugs but quickly realize that alcohol was the real issue Most people were still in denial of their addiction and will not stay sober A lot of the clients were just going through the motions Addiction does not segregate; there were people from 4 continents, lawyers’ doctors, social workers, accountants, etc. Thailand is hot and wild pythons are a real thing Alcohol is communal. I have the same story as a guy in Malaysia and we had an instant connection within 5 minutes We are the lucky ones Some people are close to hitting the “fuck it” button at all times If you experience mild depression once, you have a 16% higher chance of experiencing it again. It takes your body 3 days to recuperate from 20 minutes of stress The old saying, “It takes 21 days to learn a new habit,” is a myth. It really takes 66 days. Once a habit’s circuity is created it can never be unlearned, but a new habit can be started. NVC or non-violent communication is the way to solve 99.4% of problems. Watching TV does not lower cortisol levels, but reading does Cortisol from stress impairs learning new things and problem solving The ego lives in the past and future, only the heart can live in the moment Even though the Recovery Elevator podcast is free and rehab may/may not be free, we’ve all paid a tremendous price with our pain and suffering The road to and in recovery narrows The problem is not the problem We need to find a way to stop the relationship with the chemical alcohol. It boils down to us not being satisfied I am not powerful and I am not special when it comes to alcohol. Step 0 = Trying everything to drink like a normal person (moderation, only beer, no hard alcohol, etc.) To quit drinking, we only need to quit one thing. Everything! The solution to quitting drinking is to have a spiritual experience without alcohol You must find a higher power and it cannot be yourself. Your ego is not your amigo! There is a lot of laughter in rehab People stop maturing emotionally and spiritually once addiction takes hold Resentments are offensively dangerous You do not have a chance at sobriety unless responsibility falls on your own shoulders Buddhism basically consists of 5 pillars that prevent harm to ourselves and others There is an AA waltz; 1 step, 2 step, 3 step drink. That damn 4th step. Addicts and alcoholics are a sensitive group of people. I was a summer camp counselor in 2007 and it felt at times we were dealing with teenagers. Tammy
Mon, February 06, 2017
RE 103: Why I Quit Drinking
Shane with 3 days since his last drink, shares his story….. Paul starts the show off by listing his reasons for quitting drinking: I wake up eager to start the day I’m not lying to myself anymore Because It’s a progressive disease and I know the pain and misery that awaits I do not have a beer gut anymore THIQ was being deposited into my brain after every binge drinking episode which made it harder and harder to stop I do not want to get dumber. I want to get smarter. Most alcohol tastes like moldy tootsie rolls I was sick of telling myself “One day we are going to ________” Alcohol is one of the most dangerous drugs in the world and it kills more people than any other drug combined I was failing as a dog owner… big time I do not wonder if I have Alzheimer’s anymore Because alcohol is shit, total and complete shit Money is neat, and I have a lot more of it now I do not black out anymore, I’m only on this planet once and I don’t want to miss a thing I haven’t had a serious physical injury since stopping drinking. That would be a torn hip flexor doing Limbo in 2012. No joke No more black eyes Sometimes I feel “High on Life” A diet based on calories from alcohol doesn’t work. I’ve tried it I put an Altoids in my mouth because I like the taste, not to mask the vodka on my breath No more cavities - In those blackouts, brushing my teeth wasn’t a priority for some reason My face no longer looks like a swollen pumpkin I quit because one day I would like to share my life with a very special person. Slim to no chance of that happening before My standard poodle Ben looked at me to go play on a beautiful summer day in 2014 and I was drunk in bed at 3pm on a sunny afternoon. Those eyes broke my heart. Ben, I am so sorry Alcohol was my best friend and it turned on me I couldn’t stop drinking once I started I found I needed more and more alcohol to obtain the same effect I quit drinking because I heard the Brave Heart soundtrack for 3 weeks straight - When it wasn’t playing, it was in my head I wasn’t free Alcohol determined where I worked, who I hung out with, when I went to bed and when I woke up Music didn’t look like much of anything I want to look at myself in the mirror in the morning and say “Hey, I know that guy!” I do not want to go to rehab, but if I do, I’m going to Thailand I want to stop living a life of life or death. I would probably commit suicide within 5 years and I’m not really living. It’s been 8 years since I got a black eye at a bar… by a girl Girls like me now-well more than when I was talking to them cross eyed and blacked out I was sick and tired of being sick and tired My body doesn’t rando
Mon, January 30, 2017
RE 102: 4 Types of Drinkers, Which One Are You?
Amelia, with 79 days since her last drink, shares her story…… According to the HBO documentary, Risky Drinking, 70% of people drink. Most drinkers fall within the following spectrum: no risk, low risk, mid risk, moderate risk, severe and death. The documentary chronicles 4 people in different stages of alcoholism. If you are drinking to fix the problem that drinking has caused, you may need to watch this program and see where you fall on the spectrum. SHOW NOTES [ 10:39 ] Paul Introduces Amelia who’s last drink was on 10/10/16. [ 11:12 ] Have you had any close calls since you stopped drinking? Amelia – Not really, although I was pretty irritable during Christmas time. Instead of drinking, I just went to bed. [ 11:48 ] Tell us a little about yourself. Amelia – I was born and raised in San Francisco. I am a social worker and work with children in the foster care system. I love to watch baseball games and travel. [ 13:19 ] When did you realize that you had a problem with alcohol? Amelia – I started noticing I had a problem approximately 10 years ago, but I was always able to justify my behavior. 79 days ago, I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired! [ 14:32 ] Did you ever put rules into place to try and moderate your drinking? Amelia – I would try to drink only at night and on the weekends. After a hard days’ work, I felt like I deserved it. I had not had any bad consequences yet so this helped justify my drinking. Soon I implemented the “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere” mentality. [ 15:56 ] Did you have a bottom? Amelia – I was kicked out of the Peace Corp for drinking too much. It was Independence Day in the Caribbean and after drinking all day, I decided that I wanted to go home. I ended up walking 7 miles in the rain back to my apartment with a co-worker. I would also not report to the Peace Corp my location at all times and this was a requirement. [ 18:42 ] How did you get to 79 days without alcohol? Amelia – I had a phone call with my parents to wish them a Happy Anniversary. I did not remember the phone call at all the following morning. It was a total blackout. I had asked myself, “Do I really want to be this person?” I called a friend who I trusted and they encouraged me to go to an AA meeting. I felt accountable. [ 20:21 ] Tell us more about this accountability piece? Amelia – I had spoken to this same friend about my concerns with alcohol about a year before. I also spoke to my mother. She informed me that she had attended an Al-Anon meeting 1 year ago as well because she too was concerned with my drinking. [ 22:53 ] What was it like having repeated bottoms? Amelia – I never thought they were real or deep bottoms. I d
Mon, January 23, 2017
RE 101: What Is Alcohol and How Is It Created
Erik, with 67 days since his last drink, shares his story…. What exactly is alcohol and how is it created? According to the book, Beyond the Influence, by Katherine Ketcham, the basic ingredient of alcohol is yeast. Let’s just call it what it is; yeast dung to be exact. The yeast eventually dies off during the fermenting process leaving alcohol in its’ basic form, which is ethanol. That’s right folks! We have been consuming the same ingredient that is used in lacquer and dyes. Once we drink, the alcohol quickly passes through our cell membranes and enters the blood stream. Depending on our age, gender, or whether or not we have eaten, etc., alcohol affects us all differently. Beyond just the physically changes, alcohol also affects our emotional state. It has been known to exacerbate anxiety, stress and fatigue by triggering the body to release adrenaline artificially. No wonder those hang overs are so awful! SHOW NOTES [ 10:44 ] Paul Introduces Erik and asks when was his last drink? Erik – 67 days ago and it feels good on most days [ 11:13 ] Erik tell us a little about himself. Erik – I am 31 years old and currently live in Dallas. I play and teach music and also enjoy cooking and exercise. [ 13:42 ] When did you realize you had a problem with drinking? Erik – After graduating from college, consequences started happening. I had crashed a few cars and received a few DWI’s. [ 15:11 ] Did you ever try to implement rules in order to moderate your drinking? Erik – I was not real great at even putting rules into place. But I had an interlock (breathalyzer) put on my car and would try to moderate so that I could still start the car. One time I blew over the limit 3 times. I was more of a binge drinker. Once I started, I could not stop drinking. [ 17:24 ] After your probation ended, you started drinking again. What happened? Erik – When you are on probation, I think mentally you are just waiting for the time to be over. Once it is over, you can drink again. I continued to drink for 2-3 years without suffering any real consequences. [ 19:00 ] Did your drinking progress or remain the same? Erik – It progressed and I started driving when I shouldn’t be again. I also started experiencing episodes of anger and rage, which was completely uncharacteristic of me. [ 20:45 ] Erik shares a recent story of a wedding he attended. Erik – I was running late for a wedding in which I was a groomsman. My mind made this a much bigger deal than it actually was so when I finally arrived, I headed straight to the bar. I stumbled to the service and was late for the photo shoot. I continued to drink and my mood kept deteriorating. After the wedding was over, I went to the after party and eventually blacked
Mon, January 16, 2017
RE 100: Binge Drinking Is the Problem
Tricia, with 30 days since her last drink, shares her story…. Congratulations Recovery Elevator on 100 episodes! How did we make it to 100 episodes? How else, but one episode (day) at a time. Problem drinking that becomes severe is often given the medical term alcohol use disorder or AUD. Some interesting studies from the NESARC show that in 2012, 7.2% of the population surveyed had an alcohol use disorder (article found here: www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/alcohol-use-disorders .) Europe also has an organization (the ECA) who conducts alcohol related surveys. They found that although people in Southern Europe drank larger amounts of alcohol, they were able to moderate their drinking. In comparison, there were more alcohol related fatalities in Northern Europe. Could this be because of binge drinking? Perhaps the folks from the South can drink 1-2 glasses of wine with their meal while people from the North are drinking larger quantities in one sitting? We will let the ECA draw that conclusion. SHOW NOTES [ 8:23 ] Paul Introduces Tricia who’s last drink was approximately 30 days ago [ 9:00 ] When did you realize you had a problem? Tricia – I knew I wasn’t a normal drinker even at the age of 23. I always knew that I would have to quit one day. I never drank just for the taste, it was always to get drunk. Once I started drinking, I could not stop. [ 11:28 ] Did you ever put any rules in place in order to control your drinking? Tricia – I tried switching to a drink that I did not like. This never worked and I would end up doing shots of something else. My fellow drinker friends thought this was a great idea! I was always into fitness and nutrition so I would make sure my daily caloric intake would allow for booze. [ 15:41 ] Tell us about yourself? Tricia – I am 35 year old chef who now owns her own business. I have always been a runner but also enjoy anything in the outdoors, such as skiing and snowboarding. I like to knit and cross stitch Gangsta Rap lyrics into items for friends. My only hobby before was drinking. I would work and drink. That was it. [ 19:18 ] Did you have a bottom? Tricia – I was a high functioning alcoholic. My bottom was very high. I would always pretend that I wasn’t drunk or that I didn’t have a hangover. My motto was, “I’ve Got This.” When I went on a 3 day binger, 30 days ago, I was so hung over that I could even fake it. I had to stay in bed all day. That was the first time I experienced the physical withdrawals of sweating, fever and shaking. [ 22:15 ] How did you reach the conclusion that you did not have control over alcohol? Tricia – My friends
Mon, January 09, 2017
RE 99: God, Spirituality and a Higher Power: Run For the Hills
Mona, with 2 weeks since her last drink, shares her story……. Paul starts the show by answering some “fan“ mail questions about God and AA. Many listeners wonder how they can participate in AA without accepting a higher power. When the pain of drinking outweighs everything else, you just may be willing to try anything. Statistics show that alcoholism is on the rise but attendance at AA meetings is stagnant or even on a slight decline. Attendance at AA meetings may be on the decline because it is a religious based program and also because of the stigma involved (don’t be a hater!). In a recent article found on TheInfluence.org, http://theinfluence.org/american-gulag-the-five-ways-hundreds-of-thousands-of-people-are-coerced-into-rehab-and-aa/ , it is discussed how people are being forced into AA or rehab, either by employers or the Courts. Legally, however, a person cannot be forced into AA because it is considered a religious program. Experience shows us that you will be more successful in a program that you choose voluntarily. So whether it is AA, SMART, Life Ring, or your own personalized plan, find a program that makes you want to live and love life. Work that program as if your life depended on it (because quite frankly, it does!). SHOW NOTES [ 10:08 ] Paul Introduces Mona She currently lives in Chicago. She is 23 years old, loves to read and create playlists. Mona is still figuring out all of the new things she likes to do now that she does not drink. [ 13:43 ] When did you realize you had a problem? Mona – it has been about 4 years in the making. When I was 19 years old, I drank way too much and was super hungover. I was totally embarrassed because my parents witnessed this. I quit alcohol for the next 30 days but knew that I was not completely done with it, [ 16:21 ] Did you ever put any rules in place to try and moderate your drinking? Mona – for 2 years I tried to manage the amount of drinks I would have in 1 sitting. I set my limit at 4 and after that I would just leave the bar. I realized I had a problem when I was putting so much energy into trying to moderate. [ 20:13 ] What was your bottom? Mona – I did not really have a rock bottom. I remember my parents had paid for this great trip to the Grand Canyon and the entire trip I was trying to keep control of my alcohol intake in front of them. The Grand Canyon was so beautiful and it just showed how messy my life had become because of alcohol. [ 21:57 ] How does it feel to be sober at 23 years old? Mona – I feel proud but also overwhelmed at the thought of never drinking again. [ 23:15 ] How did you do it? Mona – I trie
Mon, January 02, 2017
RE 98: Non Alcholic Beverages in Sobriety | How To Blend In
Shaun, with 2 months since his last drink, shares his story One of the most common questions we get asked as alcoholics is, “What do you drink now that you no longer drink alcohol?” Or, “How do I fit in at social functions now?” There are plenty of tasty non-alcoholic drinks to choose from, so when water is just not cutting it, check out the list below: Shirley Temple (don’t’ forget to double up on the cherries!) Ginger Beer (Cock N Bull brand) Sugar Free Red Bull La Croix (basically flavored soda water) Soda water with a splash of cranberry World Market is the place to go if you are looking for a large selection of ginger beer. SHOW NOTES [ 11:48 ] Paul Introduces Shaun Shaun is 30 years old and currently living in Bozeman, MT. In his free time, he plays hockey, snowboards and coaches little league flag football [ 13:13 ] Paul asks Shaun to describe his bottom Shaun – I was drinking all day and through the night. I proceeded to drive home after fighting a friend for my keys. I drove down a very dangerous canyon and hit the guard rail with my car. The police eventually pulled me over. I woke up in the hospital and my father was there, looking very disappointed with me. [ 18:00 ] When did you realize the gravity of your drinking situation? Shaun – Even though I knew right away how bad it was, it still just seemed surreal. A few weeks went by before I realized this wasn’t a dream. I went about 3 weeks without a drink. I started drinking again at my 30th birthday party and went on a 6 week bender. I then started to just slow down on my own. I was suffering from deep depression, had walked away from my job, and realized that I was not attaining the goals I had set out for myself. [ 21:54 ] What do you think would happen if you started drinking again? Shaun – I would be right back to where I was before. I really do not want to know. [ 23:00 ] What were your drinking habits like? How much did you drink? Shaun – I was your typical college drinker. When I started drinking, I was ready to party. My drinking escalated when I moved to Bozeman. [ 25:47 ] What was your depression like while drinking? Shaun – My depression was usually triggered by the hangovers. I would think to myself, “What could I have done instead of drinking?” I would feel worthless about myself the next day. Alcohol just kept the depression going. Without alcohol, mild depression is still there but overall I feel more even keel and it is easier to deal with. [ 27:39 ] How about anxiety? Shaun – My anxiety was also heavily triggered by booze. It is still with me now, but has lessened greatly. Normally after a night of drinking,
Mon, December 26, 2016
RE 97: Cognitive Dissonance | Your Addiction In Your Own Voice
Bubba, with 1 year since his last drink, shares his story. SHOW NOTES Cognitive dissonance = the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change. “First they ignore you, than they laugh at you, than they fight you, than you win.” Sobriety is measured one day at a time and if we take it slowly, we will be the winner. Tell your addiction this quote, over and over again. Our minds keep telling us the tricky stories that keep us drinking. This is exhausting. It’s like holding 2 conflicting beliefs. How can we break through these conflicting beliefs? Hang out with people that are on the same path as you. Educate yourself. Read, read, and read some more. [ 8:51] Paul Introduces Bubba. Bubba has been sober for 1 year and he’s feeling great. He had been drinking so long that he did not realize just how much it was affecting his life until he quit. He enjoys photography, the outdoors and riding his Harley. He has also lost approximately 46 pounds during this past year. [12:04] When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol? Bubba – one of my earliest memories was when I came out as gay at the age of 29. I thought that I wouldn’t drink as much since I no longer had that stress. I thought it would be the magic switch but I still continued to drink. About 4 years ago, I started to try and moderate. This did not work. For the next 2 years I was always telling myself that I could drink that night and stop the following day. [14:14] What was your bottom? Bubba – one day I starting drinking at 6am and just kept going. Instead of going to bed, I continued moving from bar to bar and did not make it to work. The next day I woke up and was officially done. My journey had started. [16:35 ] What were some of the rules you tried to put in place in order to moderate your drinking? Bubba – I’m not going to drink during the week and this will satisfy my desire to drink. My drinking voice had become so strong that it just over rode any common sense. My conscience mind knew I was doing something wrong, but my un-conscience mind wanted to continue drinking [17:45 ] What were you feeling that day after your all night drinking bend? Bubba – I was so hungover it was unbelievable. I had just had enough and couldn’t take it anymore. [20:00] How did you stay sober during that first month? Bubba – I listened to RE podcasts back to back. That really kept me going that first week. I kept telling myself to try for another week, and then try again for another week. I had to keep convincing myself that I was not going to drink. I had friends wondering why I wasn’t at the bar. These are no longer my friends. They were just my bar friends. [21:56] How does it feel to be so open about being gay as well as open about being in recovery? Bubba – feels fa
Mon, December 19, 2016
RE 96: The Relationship Between Food and Alcohol Cravings
Wynn, with 28 years of sobriety, shares his story... SHOW NOTES Tis the season to be jolly and sober….. What are the differences between food cravings and alcohol cravings? Our gut sends signals that tell us to eat. We can only go 14 days without food and 80% of our serotonin is created in our gut. This feeling is very similar when we are craving a drink. The mind starts chirping and gives us false ideas of how good a drink would be. The problem is that when we start drinking, the need is never satiated with only 1 drink and thus the saga continues. The main things to keep in mind is that food keeps us alive. Alcohol is nothing more than a poison in its’ basic form. Food also helps build muscle. Alcohol transforms your body into Barney from The Simpsons. We all needed food to survive from the beginning of our lives. Obviously we can survive without alcohol. Finally, food satiates our hunger cravings. Alcohol cravings are never satisfied until we are beaten to a pulp. [ 6:20 ] Paul Introduces Wynn. Wynn is a retired engineer. He has been married 3 times and has a total of 5 children. He currently lives a wonderful life in sobriety, although in his previous life he did many “unlawful” things in which he was never caught. [ 9:15 ] When did you realize that you had a problem with alcohol? Wynn – the first time I drank was at 12 years old and it just felt magical. I soon became known as wino Wynn. I came from a good family. Neither of my parents were alcoholics however, the disease was there with my aunts and uncles. Unfortunately my brother was also an alcoholic and his life ended too soon. [ 14:22 ] Paul asks Wynn, “How do we know when alcohol is trying to convince us that we do not have a problem.” Wynn – you will know when the change happens. Recognize the pain and do not hide from it. Own your problems. Your HP is showing you what your pain points are. [ 18:00 ] Wynn discusses an interesting visit with his psychiatrist. Wynn – my psychiatrist was asking me what I thought was important. I told her that my car, my money, and my house were important to me. She asked if I knew exactly, down to the penny, how much money I had in my account. I could not tell her. She then asked me if I knew how much booze I had at my house. I was able to tell her the amount and type of alcohol, down to the drop, that I currently had in my home. I realized that there was nothing in my life that I kept track of, like I kept track of alcohol. [ 19:00 ] When was your bottom? Wynn – I was putting up a new house and borrowed money from some shady characters. I signed a life insurance policy as collateral and walked away with a paper bag full of money. I knew that that bag of money would be my coffin if I did not pay it back. If I drank that money away, I would be dead. Once th
Mon, December 12, 2016
RE 95: I Can't Quit Drinking Because Alcohol is my Identity
Melissa, with 1 month of sobriety, shares her story... SHOW NOTES It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…. Many of us believe that we cannot quit drinking. “I am the life of the party, that’s just who I am!” (I bet the crowd around us would beg to differ but that’s besides’ the point.) Life will not be fun if I do not drink. Yeah right- blackouts, hangovers, depression, and anxiety; now that is fun. Paul reviews the time in his life when he owned a bar in Spain. You heard correctly. Paul C = Bar Owner. Seems like an entire lifetime ago. Listed below are the pros and cons of that time period in Spain: Pro’s - I didn’t die, it accelerated me towards my bottom, I learned to play some fancy Flamenco guitar chords Con’s – Ambien and booze are not a good combo, missed out on many opportunities/road trips with the senoritas, playing football after being awake for 30 hours straight (the next Peyton Manning? I think not), blackouts, blackouts, and more blackouts, DUI, re-introducing myself to a previous hookup (ouch!), contemplating a 5th floor sky dive [ 8:38 ] Paul Introduces Melissa. How long have you been sober? Melissa – 30 days. Melissa explains her background. She is a bartender, married, with 4 children. During her free time, she likes to go to the gym. Paul asks Melissa what it is like being a bartender. Melissa has been in “The Industry” all of her life (Industry = restaurant, club or bar scene). She felt that bartending would be the way to go early on because of her love of drinking and it seemed fun. Melissa’s family are serious drinkers so she grew up in that environment. She thought normal drinking was boring. Melissa states that when you are in “The Industry” you tend to share similar stories of drinking and it justifies your own behavior. [ 13:54 ] What is it like bartending with 30 days of sobriety? Melissa – It’s been easier since I left Las Vegas and now live in Pennsylvania. The environment is also easier. I work in a fine dining establishment instead of a Las Vegas casino. I am used to going through shifts without drinking but would always drink after my shift ended. One of my go to drinks was a kids’ cup filled with ice and straight vodka. Five minutes from home, I would down it. [ 17:54 ] Staying sober is easy when drunk people are idiots Paul and Melissa swap stories about working in the industry surrounded by drunk people. Do your local DJ a favor and do not request any more Michael Jackson songs! [ 18:47 ] What was your bottom? Melissa – I was attending a birthday party and had brought my 14 year old daughter and her friend. We were staying at a hotel so there were no limits. My daughter and her friend had to come get me from the bar downstairs. She video-taped me while feeding me chicken nuggets. I was a mess and my daug
Mon, December 05, 2016
RE 94: Alcohol Abuse Isn't a Character Issue? You Don't Say...
John with 17 years of sobriety and Adrianne with 11 years, share how they did it. This is their story... SHOW NOTES According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM), addiction is a brain disorder, not a behavioral problem. This is nothing new so why are we still talking about it? Probably because even though society is starting to finally believe that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing, the stigma attached to addicts remains the same. Wake up people! The studies have shown that addiction can be defined as a primary disease, not an emotional or psychological problem. Our brains become rewired and our choice to pick up flies right out the window when we are in active addiction. Our real choice happens when we reach out for help. It is never too early to reach out. [ 8:27 ] Paul Introduces John and Adrianne, authors of The Painting and the Piano. John, sober since 1/5/99 and Adrienne, sober since 7/11/05 currently live in Florida. For the past 3 years they have been working on their story of survival and love. Their book, The Painting and the Piano is like a divine intervention of how they first met and their lives together through the recovery process. John feels that they were chosen to get sober and to pass this on to others. [ 17:00 ] What was your bottom? Adrianne – my daughter had to go to the ER after an accident at school. I stopped home before going to the hospital in order to get my pills. I didn’t know how long I would be at the hospital with her and was afraid I would be sick without my pills. My need for the drugs was more powerful than getting my injured child to the ER. John – driving out of my driveway and seeing my 2 small children looking through the window at me. I knew I was leaving to get another drink and going to have a possible affair. I left anyway and that memory still haunts me of their faces. Looking at myself in the mirror and seeing an 80 year old man looking back was another bottom. I had 3 DWI’s, was losing my business, my friends and was drinking around the clock without bothering to eat. [ 20:11 ] Do you feel that you can skip any steps in the recovery process? Adrianne – No, all of the steps you go through were meant to happen and lead you towards your bottom. This needs to happen. John – Everyone’s bottom is different and how we get there is also different. [ 23:00 ] John talks about patience Take time in your relationships. Advised to wait for 1 year before dating. Patience is super important. Let patience be your virtue. 12 steps should be looked at as an opportunity for personal growth [ 26:53 ] What is on your bucket list for sobriety? John and Adrianne – this book, educating others on the steps and the AA culture, doing more podcasts, and helping as many people recover as possible. Adrianne – I would also love to work in the judicial system. There
Mon, November 28, 2016
RE 93: Why Some Descend Faster Than Others
Stephanie has been sober for nearly 5 years... This is her story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE ! SHOW NOTES Why do some go down the path of alcoholism faster than others? Why do the wheels come off at different times for all of us? Is it an 'addictive personality' disorder? Well, truth is, we can't find real scientific evidence to prove that an 'addictive personality' is a real thing. What we do know is that genetic makeup combined with environmental factors that someone is living with have huge factors in whether or not someone will become addicted to alcohol. For Paul, the wheels came off right around age 21, but there is no way to determine if and when someone will become addicted to alcohol. There are many envrionmental factors that can slow down or speed up this factor... [ 7:25 ] Paul introduces Stephanie. Stephanie has been sober for almost 5 years. She got sober December 31st, 2011. She is 33 and from Alabama. Stephanie works in a Bradford treatment center. She loves to run, kayak and hangout with her family. [ 8:12 ] Do you have a pink cloud? Stephanie tries to make her own 'pink cloud' every day in that she looks for the positive in everything. She is aware of the things she is grateful for and recognizes where she could be if she didn't have her sobriety. [ 14:09 ] Stephanie talks about her drinking experience and the associated health problems that she dealt with. [ 23:04 ] Stephanie's Mom and Dad took her to a treatment center on December 30th, 2011. [ 24:39 ] Do you think you could've gotten sober without rehab? "For me, I don't think I could. I had to be removed from my situation, completely removed. I had tried little things here and there, but I didn't know coping mechanisms. I know people can do it, but I just know that I couldn't have done it." [ 25:35 ] Stephanie talk about her program. Stephanie was able to relate to the AA program. She has had the same sponsor for almost 4 1/2 years. "It was necessary for me." [ 26:41 ] Can you pinpoint one rock bottom moment? "After totalling my car and trying to hide it..." Stephanie was making frequent trips to the liquor store to buys half pints of vodka. When she started drinking in the morning, she realized something had the change. [ 33:04 ] Walk us through a day in the life of Stephanie. "Usually I wake up and do a reading from the Hazeldon Foundation and I use an app called 'My Spiritual Toolkit. I also have a page saved on my phone which has a prayer for each step. Then I
Mon, November 21, 2016
RE 92: How Alcohol Played a Part in the Presidential Election
Sara, with 5 months and 10 days of sobriety, tells us how she did it. [9:21] Paul introduces Sara Sara has been sober for 5 months and 10 days, or a total of 163 days. Sara is feeling better than she has ever felt, which is a common response in early recovery. Sobriety has not been all wonderful colors, tastes, and smells. Sara's experience so far has been overall great, but not without challenges; she has had to overcome some adversity. Which is a very big foundational pillar of life, as nothing comes easy in sobriety, and getting sober is a blind leap of faith. Sara is originally from Louisiana, currently living in New Jersey, she is a psychiatrist who is married with no children. For fun, she does everything she used to do but is learning to do it sober. One of her best sober activities she has enjoyed was attending a Coldplay concert, in which she remembered every single minute. The concert was amazing, as was Sara's first sober football game, feeling every emotion so much more. One not so cool activity in sobriety was joining friends bar hopping after a football game. Sara struggled, but realized she is no longer "that guy" and could drive home sober. [13:21 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. When did you hit bottom? Sara made small attempts to stop two years prior to her sobriety date. During that time, she read a book titled "Freedom from Addiction," which inspired her; only until an invite to socialize and drink. She would start again and not be able to stop. Eventually, Sara was at a happy hour followed by dinner with lots of drinking. She thought she was good to drive home. She ended up in an accident after which the entire night was a blur. Realizing that she could lose her life and career, even though there were no legal ramifications involved. Sara realized how lucky she was to come out of that situation safe and not in a legal battle. Paul shares his driving while intoxicated experiences. Sara woke up the next day and through the next week she was dazed and confused her memory was foggy as she was self-blaming herself. Everting in her life was going well other than drinking, she questioned why she was sacrificing everything for drinking. [16:27] How much did you drink? Sara drank vodka in airplane size bottles, they were easier to consume, leaving no evidence. She would usually drink a few throughout the day, over time it progressed. Her consumption amounts were often up and down, Sara was never one that could have just one or two at dinner, she would always continue drinking through the night. When she decided to stop drinking, she was up to 6-7 drinks per night, and was starting early in the day. For Sara, her disease progression was more about the time of day she started rather than the amount. Usually a couple glasses of wine and some shots of alcohol. Sara tried to put multiple plans of control in place; only drink on the weekend, only after work, no hard liquor. Paul realizes the q
Mon, November 14, 2016
RE 91: 12 Ways to Stay Sober Over the Holidays
Sasha has been sober for just over 5 years... This is her story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE ! SHOW NOTES 12 ways to help you stay sober through the holidays. Last year, in Episode 43 , I introduced a long list of ways to stay sober, and now, it's a year later. This holiday season, don't beat yourself up! Maybe you only get 1 day, but shoot for all the days, and if you miss a day, get back on the wagon without beating yourself up... Be kind to yourself. The holidays are about giving, give yourself kindness. 12 Ways to Stay Sober Through the Holidays: Meditation - All of the following activities have a meditative and creative quality; guitar, piano, painting, woodwork, organizing, stuffing envelopes, whatever it is for you. Set a timer and chill-out for 10 minutes Headspace App Water - Hydrate! First thing I do in the morning is drink about 35 oz of lemon water. Give yourself a Hall Pass! I plan on eating 70% of the pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving Dinner this year Exercise for 10 min during the first hour of the day. I stretch, do band work, and pushups. Practice visualization. I practice saying no to drinks and practice making good decisions in my sobriety. Tell someone no and put yourself first, i.e. "I will not be driving your ass around on NYE." Shovel snow or push dirt around. Think, "Service, service, service." Talk to yourself. Start doing something small and then in two years tell me how much of a difference that has made in your life. Turtle and not the hare. I'm playing the long game. Connect with your Community daily - Café RE. Share! [ 12:34 ] Paul introduces Sasha. Sasha's last drink was a couple days before Sept. 2nd, 2011...Sasha is from Washington D.C. She is 31 and has her own coaching business. For fun she likes to hangout at home in her pajamas, being a mega-introvert! [ 14:38 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. When did you hit bottom? September of 2011 was the culmination of a long summer of heavy partying. "I was sitting in my therapists office with my head in my hands trying to recap my summer which I couldn't remember. My therapist handed me an AA flyer and slowly I started going to a weekly meeting." [ 17:01 ] How much did you drink? Talk to us about your drinking habits. "I was an all or nothing bing
Mon, November 07, 2016
RE 90: Why Being a Dry Drunk and Using Will Power Doesn't Work.
Christine has been sober for 129 days... This is her story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE ! SHOW NOTES What is a dry drunk? It is someone who just doesn’t drink anymore, who has 'quit' using sheer willpower... ***Spoiler Alert*** Willpower eventually runs out. We need a program, something and someone to fall back on to support us. Your program can look completely unique to yourself and doesn't just have to be AA (although many do recommend it). When you quit using sheer willpower, sure, you become healthier, physically feeling like you’ve been born again and the memory of passing out in a Cracker Barrel buffet line begins to fade. You'll start to gain confidence in your recent found 'sober' success and you say to yourself, "I did this. I quit. I got this." (Uh-oh, those three little words, think RE #86. .. Problem right there!) Eventually, we will forget entirely about the Cracker Barrel buffet line, which is a problem because, A – their cornbread is fantastic and, B – that was the reason you quit drinking. That was not a highlight in your life. Studies show that humans have selective memory and we tend to remember the good things (i.e. the Cornbread) and not the bad things (i.e. the Ambulance, the Buffet Line, and the Cracker Barrel experience). As a dry drunk, when we quit drinking, our genius plan is to simply not drink, thinking that one day we’ll be able to drink normally again. If you have this thought, don’t worry, every alcoholic has, but the dry drunks don’t ever address this or relinquish the thought. The key is to surrender. This is what I call 'white knuckling it'. I think everyone is white knuckling it when they quit drinking but the dry drunks keep white knuckling it. Right about the time when all the physical healing has taken place (for me, it took over a year), is when the true white knuckling takes place. It’s when Gary (Paul's alter-ego) starts to make an appearance. It’s when 'we' start having the internal dialogue of justification. It’s when our unconscious minds have seen the barrage of alcohol adds on social media, television, and everywhere else our open eyes and ears look. This is when the cognitive dissonance starts to take place... Translation, we need help! We can't do this alone... [ 08:12 ] Paul introduces Christine. Christine's last drink was June 13th of 2016, about 129 days ago. She has been sober for just over 4 months. Christine grew up in a small town in central Michigan. She is now studying chemistry at
Mon, October 31, 2016
RE 89: Rehab vs No Rehab and Success Rates?
Zach has been sober for 3.5 years... This is his story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE ! SHOW NOTES "You gotta get through it to get to it..." Open your eyes and start to notice those around you. Often, you'll find others who don't drink. Talk to them, discover why they don't drink... Some of these people quit for religious reasons, some for health, and others for personal reasons. Some are able to just quit on the spot, others not so much. Yeah, not all of us are so lucky to just suddenly decide to quit drinking... These individuals who do own up to their problems and the fortunes in their life. They take ownership. There are tons of studies highlighting different stats on sobriety (check out the links in the show notes below). [ 10:53 ] Paul introduces Zach. Zach has twin boys and has been sober for 3.5 years, his last drink was March 9th (4 years ago) at about 3am. Zach is 27, and born and raised in a small city just North of the Atlanta area. He has been married for two years. By day Zach is a marketer and by night he is a self-proclaimed beat-boxer for his kids. [ 13:28 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. What led up to you quitting drinking? "I quit 1,000 times in my own head... It's a revolving circle." Zach started drinking when he was about 12 years old, when he had about 3 Budweisers and remembered waking up in the pool. "I remember at that point wanting to make my life all about drinking." Zach continued to drink all through high school... Zach got expelled from school for the last half of his senior year due to drinking. "That's kind of where I kick-started my 'drinking career'." Zach was 19 when he got his second arrest due to drinking and had to spend 30 days in jail. This was the first time when Zach thought, "Ok, this is me, this is alcohol." [ 18:25 ] What were your drinking habits like? The second Zach got out of jail he found a Bud Ice in a friend's fridge and was at the bar that night, still underage. Zach usually took Mondays and Tuesdays off... In his early 20s it shifted to needing a drink to feel calm. "I started buying airplane bottles of rum. I was living with my girlfriend at the time and she knew I drank often, but I would drink all day long when she was gone and then pop a beer open when she came home in the evening, acting like it was my first drink." [ 21:31 ] Did you ever try to moderate? "I'd kick liquor away and just focus on beer. I'd binge drink real hard on the weekends. Right at the end of 22 I started diving into other substances... I got into meth and then I didn't have to drink. Once I made that leap
Mon, October 24, 2016
RE 88: If We Drink Alcohol Again, It's Like We Never Stopped and Why
Val has been sober for 6 months... This is her story… Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE ! SHOW NOTES If you drink enough alcohol over time our brains will change due to the response to alcohol. Some of the damage is irreversible, thus proving that you can pick up right where you left off (upon relapse). This is because there is still a dopamine hypersensitivity. Relapse is part of Paul's story… After being sober for 2.5 years, Paul got another 8mos. of drinking under his belt, picking up right where he left off. There was no ramp-up phase because Paul's brain is hyper-sensitive to alcohol. Good news! Even though in the brain there is this environment where dopamine hyper-sensitivity still exists, if you don’t drink then it’s not activated. This change is irreversible, but, if you don’t drink then it doesn’t react… Check out RE 87 for more detailed info on dopamine and our crazy brains. [ 06:34 ] Paul introduces Val. Val took her last drink on April 8th, 2016, just about 6 months ago. She is 44, married, and has 3 kids and one grandchild. She is originally from Billings, MT and has lived in the Big Sky area for 20 years. She loves to bake, knit, garden, camp, hike and just be outside. [ 09:25 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. When did you hit bottom? “Well, I’ve hit many bottoms in my life, but I finally reached that point where I knew I needed to change or else I was going to lose everything.” This was not Val’s first attempt at quitting drinking. She first tried to quit in her mid-20s when she decided to start having kids. Val quit drinking for 8 years, but was miserable. After owning a restaurant and dealing with the stress of that, Val broke down and started drinking again… After 8 years of sobriety! “That’s just how I dealt with stress. (Drinking) was the only way I knew how." [ 11:03 ] What is a dry drunk? “I was not drinking, but my mind was still crazy. I was still trying to control everything around me, I didn’t understand life and I always felt that life was out to get me, that I was the victim.” Val explains her unhappiness as afraid of people, not being comfortable in her own skin, not having a higher power and trying to do everything herself… Now, Val is asking for help. “Before, I felt that I was a failure if I had to ask for help. My expectations that I held were so high and I could never meet them.” [ 12:57 ] How much did you drink? Talk to us about your drinking habits. Val was drinking at least a bottle of w
Mon, October 17, 2016
RE 87: Why Alcohol Eventually Stops Working
Kenny has been sober for 1 & 1/2 years... This is his tale... Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here! SHOW NOTES Why did alcohol stop working for me? (***Spoiler Alert*** If it still works for you, IT WILL STOP working.) I needed more and more of it to fill the same effects, a.k.a. the pleasure… We know that alcohol increases cravings in the brain by releasing dopamine… But, dopamine is actually the LEARNING chemical in the brain. Thus, it teaches us where to find pleasure… After we have found pleasure, i.e. tipping a bottle back over and over again, the body will eventually turn down alcohol to protect itself. Our brain is a beautiful system that has kept us alive for millions of years… How does it do this? The brain produces another chemical, which turns down the stimulation. I’ve learned that I have enhanced dopamine receptors. Now, if we lived in the age of saber-toothed tigers and always having to fight for our food, this would have kept me alive, however, not now and no longer! Over time, I needed more and more alcohol to get to the point of stimulation, of pleasure, I even needed it just to feel normal… This is an evolutionary mechanism built inside of us. However, the pleasure that we should be seeking is food, water, shelter, and Cinnamon Pop-Tarts ! Not alcohol!!! [ 06:18 ] Paul Introduces Kenny. Kenny has been sober since April 3rd, 2015, about one and a half years. Kenny is 27 and grew up in a small farm town in California. He spent some time in Riverside, CA before moving to Montana to attend grad school. He is a PhD student, studying statistics. Kenny loves to work on his truck, build bikes and computers and wander around in nature, getting lost in the wilderness. [ 07:30 ] Talk to us about your Elevator. What led up to your desire to stop drinking? “It was a long, slow descent with a lot of bumps towards the bottom.” Kenny’s roommates started to notice and comment on his drinking habits. “Last March I missed classes because I was too drunk to get to class, this had never happened before… I had a BIG eye-opening experience and realized that this wasn’t just about me. I had to take responsibility.” [ 10:02 ] How much did you drink? Did you ever try to put rules in place? “It started when I was 21… I realized that it kind of helped me get my Math homework done.
Mon, October 10, 2016
RE 86: I Got This | The Three Most Dangerous Words an Alcoholic Can Say
Jenny has been sober for 13 months... This is her tale... Resources mentioned in RE 86: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. Sobriety Tracker Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES Ok, so you’re doing a pretty good job of following your rules, your systems, or you're experimenting with sobriety… Have you ever said the words “I got this”? "I would say these words over and over again while putting these rules, systems, games, etc. in place when trying to get sober on my own…" Paul was sober for over 2 years when those mean little words came back, “You know what Paul, we got this… We’re totally good.” And, DAMN IT! After two years of sobriety, we drank (me and Gary)... “We didn’t got this…” If you ever catch yourself saying, “Hey, you got this…” be very cognizant, very aware, and very, very cautious... "I got this," the three most dangerous words an alcoholic can say. [ 05:33 ] Paul Introduces Jenny. Jenny has been sober for just over a year, since August 25th, 2015. “My life is better than it was when I was drinking.” Jenny grew up in Helena, MT and currently lives in Bozeman, MT. She is married to an amazing man and has 4 kids, ages 4-14. She loves to run, workout and go to the gym. “If it involves exercise, I love to do it!” [ 06:59 ] Jenny speaks about her drinking history. The alcoholic tendency has always been there for Jenny… “I don’t think that ever in my life I had just one drink. It was always like game-on. In High School I was “the party girl.” Jenny knew she had to stop before she hit the absolute bottom. [ 10:46 ] What was it like drinking and taking care of 4 kids? (Paul openly admits that he could barely take care of Ben, the Standard Poodle, when he was drinking…) “When the drinking started to escalate, it was sort of the perfect storm. My husband is a firefighter and started working 24-hr. shifts… Things really started to get out of control. When I was drinking, I felt like I was the best mom in the world… But, I was really checked out. I was selfish. In the back of my mind I was always concerned with refilling my glass.” Saying those words, “Yes, I am an alcoholic,” was the scariest thing Jenny has ever said… "Admitting that I didn’t have all of my shi
Mon, October 03, 2016
RE 85: Do You Have a Drinking Problem Part II
John has been sober for 5 years... This is his story... Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. Sobriety Tracker AA Recovery Elevator Episode #1: Do You Have a Drinking Problem Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES “In Episode 1 of RE , we (the human Paul & the dog Ben) do a test to determine if I am an alcoholic. The results… Blatantly clear. Yes, I am an alcoholic.” Paul found it extremely difficult to stop drinking after having just one drink. For about a decade, he lived in the pickle of “one drink was too much and 1,000 drinks was just not enough.” How the hell do you navigate that? Well, the answer is definitely, “Don’t drink.” Now, at Episode 85, Paul has an even better test to determine if you’ve got a drinking problem. Preliminary steps before taking this self-assessment: Make sure you are hydrated. Drink lots of water (if you are already drinking a beer during this portion, then yes, you too are an alcoholic). Stretch out. Loosen up. Maybe even do some burpees ! Make sure you’ve got enough lead in your pencil and ink in your pen! Take some deep breaths. Paul’s Self-Assessment Test: (***This is going to be the new metric moving forward, I guarantee it! No need to go spend a ton of money on any other tests...This assessment is free and accurate.***) Have you ever wondered, “Do I have a drinking problem?” YES or NO ***FEEL FREE TO PRESS PAUSE, GRAB A GLASS OF WATER, SHARPEN YOUR PENCIL, ETC., AS THIS IS THE HALF WAY POINT OF THE SELF ASSESSMENT TEST*** Have you ever asked yourself, “Would my life be better without alcohol?” YES or NO
Mon, September 26, 2016
RE 84: Lean Into Those Uncomfortable Emotions in Sobriety
Elaine has been sober for 15 days… This is her story... Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. recoveryelevator.com/survey Sobriety Tracker AA Elaine’s podcast: Throttle Podcast Instagram: @ throttlepodcast Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES "Today, I want to talk about feelings…" Feelings. Fun, right? We often hear that “drinking is but a symptom…” But, what the hell does that mean? It means we have feelings, experiences, and other life situations that we don’t want to deal with, so we choose to cover them up with distractions, like drinking… “Two years and one week ago I used to drink all of these emotions away.” Through some serious research, Paul has discovered that dogs (thanks to Ben for being part of this study) can teach us something about these feelings. Ok, so it’s obvious that humans and dogs are different, but dogs can actually teach us how to lean into negative sensations and feelings… Take riding in a car for example, a dog (like Ben) will actually lean into uncomfortable sensations like curvy roads and the blowing wind. We can learn from our four-footed friends. 5 Strategies for Leaning Into Emotions: When you feel that negative emotion, lean into it. Don’t categorize emotions as good or bad, just notice that the emotions are here. Breath and count to 10. Recognize where these feelings come from and begin to let-go. Let-go of the sensation, let-go of the experience. Know yourself. Begin to observe yourself from a 3rd-person point of view. Just watch. [ 09:24 ] Paul Introduces Elaine. Elaine’s last drink was 15 days ago! Elaine has lived in a number of cities across Canada. She’s in her 40s and does freelance work. She h
Mon, September 19, 2016
RE 83: Keeping Expectations Realistic in Sobriety
Kendall has been sober for 130 days… Here’s his story... Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. recoveryelevator.com/survey Sobriety Tracker AA Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES Paul on Lowering the bar… “I have a podcast about being okay with the way things are, and I’ll admit, this episode is not perfect, there are some things left out.” Paul has been sober for 730 days. “Life at two years sober is better than life 730 days ago… My anxiety, that has pretty much gone away. But, on day 729, I had a near meltdown… The bar of expectations I had put in place for myself, had slowly risen up over the past 1 ½ years. On day 730, I realized that I needed to be kind to myself, to be patient and to get realistic. 2 years is not a long time, I still have so much more to go. On day 729, self-loathing showed up… again… I was so far out of my comfort zone, but that is where the growth happens, and that is where I have been for the past year and a half. So, I’m lowering the bar, I’m going to take the time to observe what I’ve done, what’s going on around me and enjoy the moment. What’s my plan moving forward? Well, I’m not going to change a darn thing.” Paul is taking this one day at a time… One day at a time… [ 10:16 ] Paul Introduces Kendall: Kendall is 28 and has been sober for 130 days. “It feels great, I’m free. I don’t have to carry the weight of being drunk.” Kendall is from Lawrence, Kansas and moved to Montana 5 years ago as a professional painter, in his free time he likes to head up into the mountains. [ 11:25 ] What made you want to stop? Kendall surrendered to alcohol on the anniversary of a death of a best friend who died from a drunk driving accident. Kendall reset his sobriety date after smoking a bowl after attending another funeral of a close friend. [ 13:42 ] What were your drinking habits like? “I would drink at least a 12-pack if not more. I’d start in the morning just to calm the jitters, then the moment I got off work the fun began.” Kendall used rules like “no hard alcohol,” “just O’Douls,” anything to ma
Mon, September 12, 2016
RE 82: I Nearly Forgot How Scary Addiction Is
Chad, with 37 days of sobriety shares how he is doing it... Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meet-ups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. Join Cafe RE in April for a trip to PERU! Trip details can be found here: http://www.recoveryelevator.com/peru/ Reddit Stop Drinking Forum - /r/stopdrinking SMART Recovery Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES Paul Introduces Chad Chad has been sober for 37 days! Boom! Chad racked up about 2.5 years of sobriety in a previous life... "It doesn't get any easier. The best thing you can do is to get sober and stay sober." Chad is 25 and works in the communications field. He was born and raised in Atlanta and has lived all over the world. Chad is currently single (and recommends staying this way in early sobriety). Chad is really into backpacking... He got totally hooked during his time in rehab. What were your drinking habits like? "I avoided drinking and other habits until the summer before I went to college. I was afraid that something would happen to me if I drank. Little did I realize that that would become a self-fulfilling prophecy." Chad joined a fraternity in college and was drinking close to a 750ml of "nasty" Burnett's vodka a day... Did you ever try to “cut-back” and put rules in place? "You name it, I did it... But nothing ever worked." Chad went to rehab around age 22/23 to a place in the Pisgah National Forest , where he relearned how to live life -- survival techniques, meditation, etc. Chad attributes the program to his sobriety. After 2.5 years of sobriety, what was your shoelace? What made you drink again...? "Oh man, as with so many men in sobriety, it was a lady friend..." Chad was going on a first date with a girl that he perceived to be way out of his league... Chad was so nervous and remembered how embarrassed he would feel if he had to explain on a first date that he doesn't drink... Looking back, Chad now knows that honesty is the answer. "One drink led to two drinks... And three months later I was back to blacking-out..." The g
Mon, September 05, 2016
RE 81: Famous Musician Alcoholics: Some Made it, Some Didn’t
Julie, with 118 days of sobriety, shares how she does it... Resources mentioned in this episode: RE needs your input! Follow the link below to fill out a quick survey to determine the future of the RE Podcast! Recovery Elevator Survey Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can have unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. Join Cafe RE in April for a trip to PERU! Trip details can be found here: http://www.recoveryelevator.com/peru/ Rockstars Who are Sober: http://www.soberrecovery.com/recovery/12-rock-stars-proud-to-be-sober/#/most-popular http://www.eonline.com/news/271628/amy-winehouse-s-cause-of-death-accidental-alcohol-poisoning-blood-level-five-times-the-legal-limit Good reads mentioned by Julie: Drinking: A Love Story, by Caroline Knapp Let's Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship, by Gail Caldwell Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES Paul Introduces Julie Julie has been sober for 118 days. Julie is 46, she grew up in Annapolis and Germany. She has been working with the same marketing company for 20 years. Julie is on her 4th year in a relationship with a great guy who is a normal drinker. She loves to stay active and be outside. What are you going to do differently this time? Julie was sober for 129 days before relapsing at a wedding. Now, the next thing for her is to get to 130 days. Julie was “white-knuckling” it, doing it all on her own. This time around, the difference is that Julie is reaching out and connecting through Cafe RE, sober friends, and she is holding herself accountable. Julie speaks on h
Mon, August 29, 2016
RE 80: Celebrity Alcoholics: Some Made it, Some Didn't
Lo, with 7.5 months of sobriety, shares her story... FYI! Alcoholism does not segregate. It is straight-up an equal, all around ass-kicker… Alcoholism does not care about your gender, race, social status, height, weight, athletic prowess, economic status or celeb status. Yep, that’s right, this mean celebrities can be alcoholics too! It’s just that you don’t ever hear about the list of celebs that fade away because their drinking habits become too much… They just literally fade away. Adios… But, what you maybe didn’t know is the list of recovering alcoholics that run the Hollywood gamut. So here it goes, a short list of the Famous & Sober: Stephen King, Ben Affleck (rehab in 2001), Michael J. Fox, Jamie Lee Curtis, Diana Ross, Mel Gibson, Johnny Depp, Mickey Mantle, Eminem, Anthony Hopkins, and Harry Potter (became sober is 2010). Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. RE Community Forum info@recoveryelevator.com Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES [ 08:40 ] Paul Introduces Lo Lo has been sober for 7.5 months. She is originally from Northern Minnesota with a bad (but proud) habit of moving back to Bozeman, Montana time and time again. “It has been a good place to keep coming back to.” Lo is a massage therapist. She enjoys running, hiking, coffee, theatre, and is rediscovering her passion for art. “There are so many more hours in the day now that I’m practicing sobriety,” comments Lo on making time for creativity and art. [ 10:52 ] What brought you to the decision to stop drinking? “I surrendered enough.” It took Lo close to a year to truly decide to get an AA sponsor and stick with the plan. “The previous day I had wanted to drink so bad. The next day it returned, so I drank. It was enough, the shame, the guilt, the wanting to commit suicide the next day. It was enough. My emotional hangovers were just so heavy.” [ 14:29 ] Did you have any ‘plans’? “Sometimes I would wake up and feel shitty enough that I didn’t want to drink. My therapist told me to try to have only x amount of drinks per week… I usually hit the mark by Monday or Tuesday. I would tally up the drinks at the end of the week, and I just never could make it…
Mon, August 22, 2016
RE 79: Alcohol and Relaxing | What Really Happens
Randy, with 124 days of sobriety, shares how he did it. Ponder this. We have been conditioned to think that alcohol is relaxing. Now, cue the visions of a Corona commercial; a couple on the beach, kicking back beer after beer… In fact this notion of “relaxation” has the exact opposite effect on our bodies. Alcohol actually slows down your brain’s function, affecting two neurotransmitters, Glutamate and GABA. Glutamate is an excitatory neurotransmitter that is released by nerve cells in the brain. It is responsible for sending signals between nerve cells, and under normal conditions it plays an important role in learning and memory. When we consume alcohol, Glutamate production slows W-A-Y down, completely bogging down your brain’s neuro-highways. GABA, is an inhibitory neurotransmitter that reduces energy and slows down brain activity. Alcohol increases GABA productions…. Folks, that is just not a good thing. This process starts instantly after just one drink… And stays with you long after you stop drinking… Resources mentioned in this episode: Connect with Cafe RE For $12.00 per month, you receive unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel. First month FREE with Promo Code: Elevator. RE on Facebook RE on Instagram Jason Vale’s book : Kick the Drink...Easily! Support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ SHOW NOTES [ 07:34 ] Paul Introduces Randy Randy has been sober for 124 days (using the sobriety tracker). “It feels great, every day is a new experience.” Randy is from the East Coast (grew up in RI) and made his way around the world in the Air Force. Randy found his career through the military. Randy now works in aviation with the FAA in Guam, U.S.A. Randy is a hardcore cyclist, with a renewed passion for pedaling. [ 11:29 ] What was your elevator like? What was your bottom? “I’d been a lifelong drinker and never thought that I would have a problem, I thought drinking to some degree was healthy…” Randy made all kinds of "plans"… a 30-day sober binge, operating in moderation, writing, using apps, etc… “IT DID NOT WORK!”… “I have that switch, once you turn it on, it doesn’t really turn itself off…” In preparation for his daughter’s baby shower, Ra
Mon, August 15, 2016
RE 78: What I've learned about the Stigma Surrounding Alcohol
Annie has been sober for 2 years. She never thought twice about her drinking because she didn’t know enough about it. Annie started journaling about her drinking habits as an exploration in March of 2013 which enabled her to stop drinking in December of 2013. Annie is from Colorado and works in marketing. She is married with children and loves the outdoors (hiking, skiing). [ 02:08 ] When did your Elevator hit its bottom? When did you finally decide to stop drinking? Annie was living in London when her Elevator hit bottom the first time. Annie and her family were going to the London Eye (an amusement park) and she had decided it was a good idea to bring in two large beers, packed in her purse, to sip on. “I dropped my purse and the beers exploded, spraying beer all over my children and my parents.” "I had a 'What the fuck has happened, what am I doing?' moment right then.” On another trip, Annie was traveling all over the world for work, she comments, “You’d take off on the airplane and get drunk, and then I’d justify having drinks in the lounge… I was pretty much existing on coffee and alcohol. I realized that I had to get back into regular mommy life. I just remember sitting there thinking, Whoa, what is this?'" [ 04:27 ] Talk to me about your drinking habits? “The plans are my worst enemy! As soon as you start to try to stop something, it becomes even more tempting. It’s like putting yourself on a diet.” Annie had all sorts of ideas/plans: no drinking until 5pm, only having 2 glasses of wine (but after two she didn’t care how many more she consumed), trying to have a sober day... “I remember finding an excuse every single day to drink. I was driving myself further and further into separateness and defensiveness.” [ 06:31 ] How did you make the change (into sobriety)? “I didn’t seek help. I just didn’t know any better. I didn’t know what I didn’t know (referring to all the resources out there). I had a different kind of 'talking-to' with myself one day in the Heathrow airport, I decided to give myself permission to write about this, to explore this in a mindful way." Dr. John Sarno’s work really inspired Annie to dive deeper into understanding her need to drink. [ 09:59 ] What was it like? Annie’s research took her on a journey for 8-9 months. “I was still drinking during the research, but by the time I stopped, I had made peace with it. On an emotional level, I felt free.” “It was like being sick to save my life for about a month. There were a lot of tears and a lot of laughter and joy.” [ 13:23 ] This Naked Mind - Control Alcohol by Annie Grace Paul lets the Cat out of the Bag (meow!) - Annie Grace wrote, “<a href= "https://www.amazon.com/This-Naked-Mind-Rediscover-Happiness/dp/0996715002/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1470678010&sr=8-1&keywords=this+naked
Mon, August 08, 2016
RE 77: I Would Have Missed This
Westin, with over 3 years of sobriety shares how he did it. Some of my best memories are those of camping with my family in Southern Utah. Camping growing up used to consist of fishing, catching lizards and snakes, watching the sunrise and sunsets. It was a simple and joyous time that I spent with my family. These are fond memories. But, somewhere along the line, my camping experiences diminished, the joy of spending time in nature was replaced with Hot Dogs, Booze and Passing Out. Last weekend, I was camping with Ben (my partner in crime, my four-footed friend), we had called it a night and crawled into the back of my truck in the woods of Montana. Now, these are real woods, mountain lions, grizzlies, etc. Nature is not to be taken for granted around here. Suddenly, around 2am, I awoke to Ben’s perked ears and sounds of snapping branches. The sounds grew louder as whatever was roaming the woods got closer… I reached for my headlamp… And... GOATS! Rocky Mountain Goats, a herd of them… Now, if I had been camping with Hot Dogs and Booze I would have been PASSED OUT (probably face down in a pile of biting red ants at that!) and would never have experienced this beauty, this joy. The Goats brought me out of the truck where I was then able to see the expansiveness of the sky and the stars and experience the cooling sensations of the pine trees. Nothing needed to change. I didn’t need to drink a Keystone Light or 50 of them… I am now getting back my memories and creating new memories that are more than just a party. Memories such as this that fill me up with satisfaction, connection, and awe. AND NOW… onto the podcast! SHOW NOTES Paul Introduces Westin Westin is from Indianapolis, Indiana. He is 33, has been married for 7 years, and has an amazing little girl who is turning 4 in September. “She is the most important thing in my life alongside my sobriety.” Westin works at an addiction treatment center as a “Recovery Coach.” How long have you been sober? Westin has been sober for 2 years and 363 days, he is 2 days away from 3 years of sobriety! “Right now I’m in a place where I have to count days again. I’m in a weird place where I just have to count.” says Westin on his sobriety. When did you realize it was time to quit drinking? “My bottom was 3 years ago almost to the date. I woke up face down on my Mom’s couch, not knowing how I got there, and not knowing what happened over the past 24 hours. I was highly addicted to Klonopin and drinking on top of them. I looked up from the couch and just saw this look of utter disappointment on my Mom’s face. It was different. I had unknowingly gone through her medicine cabinet the night before, and found all sorts of pills in my pockets.” What were your drinking habits? “I was a blackout drinker from the age of 17. I was never trying to control it, I thought it was normal. I was pr
Mon, August 01, 2016
RE 76: The Conscious and Unconscious Mind
Simon, with 15 years of sobriety, shares how he did. Three years ago, Simon started the Hope Rehab Center in Thailand and has been helping people change transform their lives. The Conscious and the unconscious mind. I recently read the book " This Naked Mind - Control Alcohol" by Annie Grace and the chapter covering the how the brain worked was fascinating. Conscious: Aware of something, knowing that something exists or is happening. Unconscious: The part of the mind a person is not aware of but is a powerful force in controlling behavior. Consciousness: Being aware of something within oneself. The upper level of mental life that a person is aware of as contrasted with unconscious process. Warning: This may blow your mind... The unconscious mind is responsible for desires Studies show, we have two separate thinking systems. The conscious mind, and the unconscious mind When we want something to change in our life, we usually make a conscious decision. However, drinking is no longer a conscious decision. The unconscious mind doesn’t get the memo Unconscious learning happens automatically and unintentionally We are conditioned to think drinking enhances our lives and makes us happy This is why when we want to drink less, our unconscious mind tells us to drink more. Insert major dilemma here. We have been conditioned to believe in alcohol. To believe that me and some random captain would make it happen. The unconscious mind is not logical. It’s comprised of feelings, observations. It’s the source of love, jealousy, fear, kindness and sadness. When a person makes a decision to quit drinking alcohol, their unconscious mind is never in on that conversation. Gary, pull up a chair. Studies dating back to the 1970’s indicate our unconscious mind makes 1/3 of a second fast than our conscious mind. The unconscious mind controls the emotions. When someone tells yourself to stop having a bad day, that never works. But over time, this positive reinforcement can work. Liminal thinking, which we will get to in later podcast episodes, is how will cover how to converse with the unconscious mind. The unconscious mind is formed by beliefs, conclusions, assumptions, experiences and observations. Often time, it is far separated from reality which is where the conscious mind lives. Our culture of drinking makes everything better has been ingrained into our unconscious mind without us ever knowing. One easy way to challenge this, which we often never do, is look for external validity. For example, the bud light makes you a better beach volleyball player. Go to a beach and try to find a real life example if this. It won’t happen. We let the unconscious mind determine our thinking because
Mon, July 25, 2016
RE 75: I'm Breaking Up With The Word Alcoholic
Paul, with 18.5 months of sobriety, shares how he did it. That's right, I'm breaking up with the word alcoholic and opting for a simpler less defining answer of I don't drink. I got the idea for this podcast after reading the following article and I hope you like the show notes. As you can probably tell, I've had some recent help with show notes since mine leave much to still be desired. COUNT ME OUT OF “RECOVERY NATION” - NEGATIVE SELF-IDENTITY IS THE CRUELEST STIGMA (Stanton Peele: July 7th, 2016) The labels “alcoholic”, “addicts”, and “in recovery” dehumanizes people, both for the person themselves and their children. - Influence contributor, Meghan Ralston, wrote in her article (I'm Breaking Up With the Word Addict), Agree - “Even in a chaotic stage of drug use, we are not “other.” We are women, we are someone's daughter, we continue to laugh, we continue to like jazz and cheeseburgers and comfy pajamas. We cry, we get so lonely, we hate sitting in traffic. Addiction can be wretched, no question, but we do not ever stop being human beings, even during the times in our lives when we are dependent on drugs.” Disagree - “For many people, myself included, the word “addict” is incredibly harmful and offensive. You do not have my permission to call me an addict. You can of course refer to yourself as an addict, if you wish.” [1] Don't refer to yourself as an “addict.” -It's depressing -No one should highlight/define themselves by their worst trait or period in their life. These concepts arose in conversation between Dr. Peele and Talk Recovery Radio: “Dr. Stanton Peele was today’s thought provoking live guest on Talk Recovery.… our show is meant to be a platform where all pathways to recovery are welcomed to be discussed… But today, that almost didn’t happen. There was an 'us and them' feel to the show… Why do people feel the word addict is stigmatizing?” [2] -Peele explains that the host seemed to feel that he was part of a movement that set people recovering apart from everyone else. -Culture seems to encourage this separation. -public policies -celebrities' confessionals -treatment circles -recovery high schools -etc. <
Mon, July 18, 2016
RE 74: 50 Ways To Stay Sober This Summer
Ronnie, with 25 years of sobriety shares how he did it. We also discuss 50 ways to stay sober this summer. Ronnie Marmo Ronnie got sober a few times throughout his life, once at age 17 and again at age 20. At age 20, he found himself smoking crack on the sidewalk after 3 years of sobriety… One drink of alcohol was his gateway drug. Ronnie’s background: Lives in L.A. and works as an actor and director, running two theater companies. Check out 68 Theatre Company . Ronnie is 45 and married with a dear family… For more information on Ronnie and his work - ronniemarmo.com . Take us back to age 20... Was that your bottom? For me, “I was out of control ever since I started drinking. I always drank and got high in the same way. I was never a social drinker, I had no interest in drinking socially.” It went something like this - one gallon of vodka, one quart of Yukon Jack, and then I found myself waking up at a sober picnic. My sponsor asked me if I was humble enough… I said yes, and went back to rehab for the 3rd time. What is it like being sober in your industry? It’s like anything, many people are sober, once you start talking “our” language. Those who do drink and get high, it’s never an issue, but I tend to gravitate towards people who are sober. Let’s talk rules: Did you ever try to put rules into place? “I thought alcohol was a problem, but I didn’t think it was my biggest problem. I constantly negotiated with myself. Normal people don’t hide bottles. Normal people don’t wake up needing a drink.” People have gone on retreats and think that anxiety is the issue, or depression is the issues, when underneath it is really the alcohol. Literally, every day of my life I spent my day trying to figure out how to get more booze. Do you remember your first intensive rehab? “I hadn’t even seen the STEPS on the wall!” Now, I have a healthy fear of booze. Talk to me more about this healthy fear, I’m terrified of this stuff… When I look at it, it’s rare that I glorify a drink. When I see booze, I get nervous. If I ever take a second to glorify it. I immediately think I could destroy my life. It happens quickly. That thought is so fleeting, it’s not even an option. Bill W. and Dr. Bob: http://theatre68.com/ Playing in north Hollywood, CA Soon to star in the movie, Back in the Day. Walk me through a day in your sobriety: I don’t go to as many meetings as I should, but I never miss my Wednesday home meeting. If I do these things daily: Give thanks Reach out to a newcomer Wal
Mon, July 11, 2016
RE73: The Drunken Founding Fathers
Barb, with 15 days of sobriety, shares her journey. I got the idea for today's podcast from an article sent to me from a dear friend that was in the Lush . Fitting publication eh? Don’t forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
Mon, July 04, 2016
RE 72: Helping Others is the Key To Getting Sober
Ty, sober since March 2008, shares how she implements service into her life to stay sober. I want to give a huge personal thank you to Ty for helping me with the Recovery Elevator podcast. I can't do any of this alone. Thank you Ty. Also in this episode I interview Jesse from My Sober Roommate. Don’t forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
Mon, June 27, 2016
RE71: Alcoholism and Addiction is a Disease and I Shouldn't Still be Talking About it.
Kevin, in remission for 13 years, shares his story and why he created We Face it Together.
Mon, June 20, 2016
RE70: Kellie, at 8 months sobriety, Realized She Didn't Know Who She Was, and She Was Fine With That.
Kellie, with 2 years of sobriety, shares how she has been successful in sobriety. Kellie has been part of the Recovery Elevator podcast since the beginning. She was written blog posts, helped line up interviewees and helps with social media. Don’t forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
Mon, June 13, 2016
RE69: How Many of Us Have Stayed Sober?
Stephen, with 32 years of sobriety, explains how he's made it this far. I often get asked if any of the interviewees on this show have relapsed and the answer is yes. Sure, some of them have relapsed, but how many. When I really got to thinking about this, my optimism wavered and when I dug deeper into the question, I realized it was more than just a few had relapsed; it was a lot. Don’t forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
Mon, June 06, 2016
RE 68: The Stigma is Even Worse for These Alcoholics
Matt, sober since 12/11/15, who is the 4th lawyer to be interviewed on this podcast, shares how leaving a law firm to start a private law practice while drinking, can be tumultuous; to say the least. I got the idea for this podcast from the a article I recently read in the Fix called My Top Five Female Recovery Memoirs by Regina Walker . Statistically, women don’t recover from alcoholism at nearly the rate men do. A study in Germany concluded that alcoholism was twice as fatal for women as for men. The women in the German study with alcohol addiction were five times more likely to die during the 14-year period of the study than women in the general population. As a culture, we often judge women with addiction issues far more harshly than we do with men. Alcohol advertising often portrays men drinking as a bonding experience, while portraying women who drink as sexual predators or, at the very least, sexually objectified (“if she is going to get drunk, she is asking for it”). Though it’s difficult for anyone with a substance abuse issue to ask for help, it is that much more difficult for a woman, who often bears an additional, gender specific stigma. Turnabout, by Jean Kirkpatrick Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood by Koren Zailckas, Blackout Girl: Growing Up and Drying Out in America by Jennifer Storm Drunk Mom by Jowita Bydlowska Yellow Tale , by Tiffany Goik Don’t forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/
Mon, May 30, 2016
RE 67: Can Alcoholics Form True Relationships?
Buddy, with 7 years of sobriety, bounced in an out of AA for from 2002-2008 before something finally stuck and ironically, he explains how drinking actually saved his life. Don’t forget to support the Recovery Elevator Podcast by shopping at Amazon with the Recovery Elevator link: www.recoveryelevator.com/amazon/ I read the following line out of an AA Grapevine , August 2013 issue, while on a tumultuous ride over a high altitude Andean pass in Chile. It didn’t help that I was only 2 days sober (relapsed shortly after reading that line and ended up vomiting on myself and the bus) and I thought a relationship would solve my problems. Page 53 in the 12&12: The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.
Mon, May 23, 2016
RE 66: Being a Recovering Alcoholic Should be an Assett instead of a Liability in the Worforce
James with over 2.5 years of sobriety shares how we earned his family's trust back. Being sober has huge advantages at the workplace and this should be marketed as such. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Support the podcast and make your Amazon purchases through the Recovery Elevator affiliate link. 1/2 of all revenues will go to recovery non-profits. This episode was brought to you by Cafe RE and get your daily AA email here!
Mon, May 16, 2016
RE 65: Movies about alcohol, sobriety, recovery, drunkness, and getting sober
In this episode Angela, with nearly 10 months of sobriety, shares how she did it. Here are some great movies about alcohol, sobriety, recovery, drunkenness, and getting sober! Thank you to Marueen from Cafe RE who helped put this list together! Burnt (2015) Bradley Cooper 1 hour, 40 minutes Comedy/Drama Synopsis: Adam Jones (Bradley Cooper) is a chef who destroyed his career with drugs and diva behavior. He cleans up and returns to London, determined to redeem himself by spearheading a top restaurant that can gain three Michelin stars. Director: John Wells Writers: Steven Knight (screenplay), Michael Kalesniko (story) Stars: Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller, Daniel Brühl | See full cast & crew » 2. Smashed (2012) Aaron Paul 1 hour, 21 minutes Drama Synopsis: A married couple whose bond is built on a mutual love of alcohol gets their relationship put to the test when the wife decides to get sober. Director: James Ponsoldt Writers: Susan Burke, James Ponsoldt Stars: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Aaron Paul, Nick Offerman | See full cast & crew » 3. Everything Must Go (2010) Will Farrell Comedy/Drama Synopsis: When an alcoholic relapses, causing him to lose his wife and his job, he holds a yard sale on his front lawn in an attempt to start over. A new neighbor might be the key to his return to form. Director: Dan Rush Writers: Dan Rush, Raymond Carver (short story "Why Don't You Dance") Stars: Will Ferrell, Rebecca Hall, Christopher Jordan Wallace | See full cast & crew » 4. Shakes The Clown (1991) Bobcat Goldthwait Drama/Comedy/Murder Synopsis: Shakes plods about his duties as party clown, and uses all of his free time getting seriously drunk. Binky, another clown, wins the spot on a local kiddie show, which depresses Shakes even more, and his boss threatens him with unemployment if he can't get his act under control. When someone murders Shakes' boss and makes it look like Shakes did it, he goes undercover, posing as a hated mime, and tries to find information that will clear his name. - Written by Ed Sutton 5. My Name Is Bill W. (1989) James Woods Drama (TV Movie) Synopsis: Based on the true story of Bill W. (James Woods), a successful stock broker whose life falls apart after the stock crash of the 20's and how he comes to grips with his alcoholism. Along with a fellow alcoholic (James Garner) he forms a support group that would eventually become Alcoholics Anonymous. - Written by Humberto Amador 6. Barfly (1987) Mickey Rourke Drama 1 hour, 40 minutes Synopsis: Based on the life of successful poet Charles Bukowski and his exploits in Hollywood during the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Director: Barbet Schroeder Writer: Charles Bukowski Stars: Mickey Rourke, Faye Dunaway, Alice Krige | See full cast & crew »</
Mon, May 09, 2016
RE 64: Why some grow out of the heavy drinking days and some become alcoholic | Who will graduate from college binge drinking?
In this episode Rachael, with 2.5 years of sobriety, shares how she did it. I got the idea for today's topic from an article I read by Sarah A Benton called: Why some phase out of college binge drinking and others are alcoholic. It piggy backs perfectly off last weeks episode with Johnny Manziel. Manziel appears not to be growing out of this phase and it's becoming apparent he has a real problem with alcohol. Why do some people simply not "grow out" of this phase? Here are some reasons the article states: • The Surgeon General's 2007 "Call to Action" report indicates that genetics account for 50% of the risk of developing alcoholism, therefore, family history is one of the strongest determinations of who may be alcoholic. In addition, the drinking culture of the individual's family and the role that alcohol plays. • The age that he or she began drinking is another key factor. Specifically, research by the NIAAA indicates that teens who begin drinking before the age of 15 have a 40% greater chance of becoming alcoholic with or without a family history of alcoholism. • Certain work or graduate school environments tend to incorporate alcohol into their social events such as going out after work or class for drinks or drinking while networking (ie, law, business). These cultures may normalize heavy drinking and also breed a "work hard, play hard" mentality that enables alcoholic drinking patterns. • The drinking patterns of the group of friends that he or she lives with or socializes with. Heavy drinkers tend to migrate towards spending time with others who drink like they do and this often allows them to justify and minimize their excessive drinking. • The individual's predispositions toward mental illness (such as depression , bipolar disorder , anxiety) or a trauma history ( PTSD ) may lead he or she to self-medicate with alcohol. • Impulse-control<
Mon, May 02, 2016
RE 63: This Alcoholic Probably Won't Just Grow Out of It.
Kelly, with 9.5 months sobriety shares how she did it! Johnny Manziel is an alcoholic who isn't having any fun. We has drafted 22nd overall in the 2014 NFL draft and the wheels have been coming off since. The media seem to wonder why he hasn't simply grown out of his crazy party lifestyle and realized his potential a an NFL quarterback. It was refreshing to see an article in written in the Bleacher Repor t about how Johnny's problem isn't a maturity one, but a clinical one.
Mon, April 25, 2016
RE 63: Nutrition, Exercise and Sleep to Jump Start Your Recovery
Robert, who has been sober for nearly 3.5 years shares how he has made it this far. In this episode we hear from Shawn from the Model Health Show Podcast and he gives us valuable tips on how to get a grip on alcoholism with these tips and tricks. Below are links to some of the items he mentions in the podcast. Rebounder - Mini trampoline for cardio. NASA says this is the most effective form of exercise and detoxification. Moves your lymphatic system and starts to remove the muck that has built up into our systems over years of drinking. Start with no more than 10 minutes. . This helps drop your cortisol levels which will reduce stress throughout the day. Magnesium - Key to the early sobriety. Spirulina - Highest form of protein in the world by weight. Rich in B vitamins Vitamin B2 - Riboflavin (B2) great for depression Vitam B3 - Niacin. Helps capillaries dilate and get blood to your system and help eliminate waste in the body. Vitamin B12 - Great for Energy Multi B Vitamin - A great combination of all the B Vitamins. Green Super Food Blend - Not processed in a laboratory and is great for early recovery. Shawn's Bio: Shawn Stevenson is a bestselling author and creator of The Model Health Show, featured as the #1 Health podcast in the country on iTunes. A graduate of The University of Missouri - St. Louis, Shawn studied business, biology and kinesiology, and went on to be the founder of Advanced Integrative Health Alliance, a company that provides wellness services for individuals and organizations worldwide. Shawn has been featured in Entrepreneur magazine, Men's Health magazine, ESPN, FOX News, and many other media outlets. He is also a frequent keynote speaker for numerous organizations, universities, and conferences - all with outstanding reviews. To learn more about Shawn visit TheModelHealthShow.com Join Team RE on May 21st for the 3rd annual run for recovery at AALRM.org and use promo code Recovery Elevator for a 10% discount. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was
Mon, April 18, 2016
RE 62: Alcohol is Deadly, but These Facts, Won't Keep you Sober
With 91 days of sobriety, Sarah shares how she did it! In this podcast episode I cover an article from Sober Nation covering why Alcohol is such a potent drug. Sarah also shares how she made it to 91 days of sobriety! In this episode I review The Staying Sober Handbook, by Howard P Goodman and I would definitely recommend it for someone who is in recovery or as an informational piece if you want to know more about the disease in general. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Sober Travel and Sober Nation. In this episode I review The Staying Sober Handbook, by Howard P Goodman and I would definitely recommend it for someone who is in recovery or as an informational piece if you want to know more about the disease in general. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Sober Travel and Sober Nation.
Mon, April 11, 2016
RE 60: Is Alcoholism a Disease or Do I Drink Because of My Environment?
Johan, who has been sober since November 15, 2015, shares how he did it. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Sober Travel and Sober Nation.
Mon, April 04, 2016
RE59: Friends and Family Actually Can't Read the Mind of an Alcoholic
Molly Shares how she has made it to almost 30 days sober. I also interview my brother who has stuck with me from day one. I expected Mark to understand my pains, struggles and inner thoughts. I even developed unnecessary resentments towards him which he didn't deserve. Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Sober Travel and Sober Nation.
Mon, March 28, 2016
058: The Not So Smooth Transition | The Stigma
Matt from California shares how he has made it over 5 years sober. He went to seek treatment for PTSD and realized he was also an alcoholic. In this episode I discuss the not so smooth transition from a free community to a paid community. Below is is the post I placed in the group trying to clarify the point of the transition. “I woke up this morning and binge listened to the Recovery Elevator podcast, and later that day I went to my very first AA meeting/Told my spouse/reached out for help...” I have received probably 75 of these messages.... Recovery Elevator is not about me, it’s not about the people in this group, it’s about the people who are still struggling.I’ll be the first one to admit, I am flawed. I am far from perfect. I am fully aware I have made several mistakes and (“spoiler alert”) I will make many more mistakes moving forward. I think my biggest mistake thus far is not being able to communicate my vision for Recovery Elevator and why this transition is taking place. Sure it’s about sustainability, and the time commitment is not feasible over time. However, our #1 goal, the mission, the force that continues to find the RE team at the same coffee shop every Friday morning at 7am for almost a year now is to shred the shame. Does that sound familiar? What that means in one word is Stigma.The stigma surrounding this disease is just as lethal if not more potent than alcohol itself. It was this stigma that led me to a failed suicide attempt in the summer of 2014. I hated myself for not being able to drink like a normal person and was ashamed. I was even more upset when the suicide attempt didn’t work. I woke up that morning pissed off and angry. I wasn’t happy to be taking in precious breaths of air with a new outlook on my 2nd chance on life. I was devastated I had to keep on living my life of misery from the disease. Can anyone think of another disease where we let ourselves and loved ones get to the most critical point before treatment or help arrives? Many times, that assistance arrives at a car crash when it’s too late (my friend in 2006) and our friends don’t get a second chance. Why do alcoholic bottoms have to be so low???? The Stigma. A gentlemen, who removed himself from the group (We didn't), brought up some great points last night and I’m very glad he did. Before this message goes any further, I want to remind people that I have stated multiple times that Recovery Elevator is not affiliated with any 12 step or other recovery programs in particular Alcoholics Anonymous. I am just about to complete my own 12 steps and I plan on passing on that “service” with a sponsee when I finish. This person mentions RE is preying on people with monetization goals. It doesn’t any ivy league business degree to make that connection. If I want a fighting chance at battling this stigma, I am going to need resources. This may come as a surprise, but I’m definitely not the first one to prey on alcoholics and here are s
Mon, March 21, 2016
057: There's a Pill That Can Cure My Drinking Problem?
In this episode Penni from Australia shares how she made is 6 months sober! Also discussed in the episode the Radio Lab's podcast episode The Fix . Is there really a pill that an cure alcoholism? Believe me, I have searched high and low..... Don't isolate yourself and join the discussion in the Recovery Elevator Private Forum. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there! This episode was brought to you by Sober Travel and Sober Nation.
Mon, March 14, 2016
056: Traveling Drunk
In this episode Bill, who has been sober October 22nd 2015, shares how to successfully navigate retirement as an alcohol. Also in this episode how exhausting and potentially dangerous it can be while drinking and traveling. That is when the light bulb for sober travel went off about two weeks.
Mon, March 07, 2016
055: What I wish I heard in High School
Brandy shares how she has successfully made it to 69 days sober! I also talk about how I mapped out my talk to the largest school audience yet. Footage from this YouTube video to come shortly, but here the video that I made for the freshman and sophomore classes. -if when on vacation, every time you go out to eat with your boyfriend (who does not want you to drink) you make sure he sits in a place with his back to the bar so you can sneak a drink on your way to the bathroom. -Phenina -if you wake up in the hospital and have to ask the nurse to help you look up impound lots after your car was totaled 4 days earlier and you have no recollection of where the accident happened. -Maureen -if you check your bank online to find charges that you don't recognize...after all, you haven't been to that bar in months! You call the bar to contest the charge and then realize that it was your signature on the bill and you had been there in a blackout. -Jill -if you get so desperate for mixers that you use mint tea or similar to mix your vodka, decided it tastes worse somehow, and just start doing shots, alone, on a Tuesday. -Sarje -if your podcast app says you've heard those 15 podcasts, but you don't remember a single one. -Arista Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group. Come join the ultimate Recovery Elevator meet-up in Peru where we will be volunteering at orphanages with Peruvian Hearts, working with local alcoholics, and why not hike the 38 mile Inca Trail to Machu Picchu while were down there!
Mon, February 29, 2016
054: Why You Need to Laugh in Sobriety
In episode 54, Gavin from England shares how he made it too 100 days of sobriety, and his humor in the accountability groups is what gave me the inspiration for this topic. Ideas for this podcast topic came from an article I read on The Fix and the benefits of laughter are from Help Guide.
Mon, February 22, 2016
053: Terminal Uniqueness | Personal Exceptionalism
In this episode Dawn, shares how she has made it to 6 months of sobriety as a mother of three. We also discuss terminal uniqueness which basically is when we focus on the differences and not the similarities. I have been culpable of this many times, and I am working on being cognizant of how to avoid this. Here are some of the key reasons why terminal uniqueness is so dangerous. -It allows people to ignore the likely consequences of their actions -It provides a false sense of security -It divides the world into me and them -It means that the individual will be unwilling to believe that treatments that help other people can help them -It leads to the individual thinking that they are either worse than everyone else, or that they are better than everyone else -It prevents the individual from seeking help for their problems -It can be a barrier to communication -It leads to feelings of loneliness and desperation (isolation)****
Mon, February 15, 2016
052: 10 Value Bombs After 1 Year of Podcasting
What I learned in 1 year of podcast is remarkable. It will help me stay sober and I want to thank everyone who has been a part of Recovery Elevator. I really hope you enjoy this summary because I had a great year compiling them. Value Bombs What I learned from a year of podcasting about my sobriety. By Paul Churchill (with Elliot P.) Podcasting about your sobriety isn’t exactly the best way to stay anonymous. However, after years of struggling to stay sober I was willing to try anything and nothing seemed more powerful than the accountability I’d create by checking in with “the world” every week. So I bought a few simple pieces of recording equipment, signed up for a podcasting service and started talking. I was terrified to release the first episode – it felt like I was jumping off a cliff. I knew my life would never be the same. I was right. This year has been the best year of my life but strangely, also the hardest. I know what you are thinking, “of course it was the hardest as getting sober isn’t easy” and you’d be right. But there is something especially terrifying about getting sober in front of anyone who wants to watch. I’ve been told that some people thought my podcast would be a train wreck and they were listening for entertainment value. Luckily, so far, I have beaten the odds and probably made this pretty boring for my macabre listeners. My goal is to make this podcast as boring as possible for this demographic of my audience! How is that for a podcasting goal? Really though, I think we have had a lot of fun this year and I’m all for the suspense each week as I sign in, once again, still sober. If I can do it, maybe some of my listeners realize that they can too. Now I don’t claim to be very smart but the most unexpected part of this journey has been meeting hundreds of listeners who can relate to my story. I honestly felt like I was the only one who suffered exactly like I did. It turns out that alcoholism is ironically a communal disease where everyone afflicted feels isolated. Part of the solution involves finding like-minded people who you can get honest with. Little did I know, just by talking openly into the microphone, this group of like-minded people would come to me. Listenership has grown beyond my wildest dreams. I love you guys. I’ve been asked what have been the most impactful lessons I’ve learned over this year of podcasting. The beauty of listening to the stories of those I’ve interviewed is that everyone can relate to the stories differently depending upon their place in their sobriety journey. Below is a list highlighting ideas that have meant the most to me:
Mon, February 08, 2016
051: Contempt Prior to Investigation
Scott, an attorney on the east coast, shares how he has reached 2.5 "great" months of sobriety. Contempt prior to investigation! Today marks the 51st episode of what started almost a year ago as a way for me to simply hold myself accountable. I made the commitment then to do at least 52 episodes and as I approach this number its hard not to be overwhelmed with the impact this podcast has had on myself and also, unexpectedly, on many of you. I mean, first off, 51 episodes later, I’m still sober! (1 year, 4 months and 6 days according to my recovery elevator app) – which is a miracle! But I see an unintended consequence is that many of you are also finding ways to stay sober and find happiness in recovery. It’s amazing to see what happens when we all put our minds together! So for that, and all of you listening, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. There is rarely a day that I don’t get an email from a listener who shares how touched they are by something one of our guests said on the podcast. I mean there have been over 50 guests who have shared their story and these stories have been downloaded over 160,000 times. The impact of us simply, and honestly, sharing our stories is bringing hope to many who might not have otherwise found it. Please keep sending me emails with your story, I never get tired of reading them even if I don’t have time to respond to every one know that I read every one and cherish them all. And because of you and your desire to continue the discussions after each podcast we started the private Facebook recovery elevator accountability group. I remember being amazed when we reached 60 members of the group and as I release today’s podcast we are rapidly approaching 450 members with new members being added every day. Its so amazing to see you all in the group sharing your story, asking questions, sharing wisdom and encouragement, checking in on each other and ultimately helping yourself and others stay sober. And it’s because of the things happening in this group that we are in the final stages of setting up an even better platform for us all to interact outside the podcast which will be several regions accountability groups which feed into the community forum. Its all something I could not have imagined a year ago and it is a testament to the power of what can happen when we get honest and get out of our comfort zone. So, just in case you are wondering, I may get a bit sentimental and maybe even a bit emotional as we approach our 52nd episode but I’m not planning on stopping after our 52nd episode. You guys have stuck with me so I’m staying here and stick’n with you. You know, after doing today’s interview, I was reminded of one of the most devastating things I’ve noticed during this busy year of podcasting, being interviewed by others and speaking at schools. It is the
Mon, February 01, 2016
050: Alcoholic and Match.com, Who Would Have Thought?
In this podcast episode Cameron shares how he has successfully navigated nearly 6 months of sobriety. In the early stages of a relationship, I was always terrified of the moment when I had to fess up to why I don't drink. I came up with every answer besides the honest answer which is the simple fact I'm an alcoholic. Below is my Match.com profile summary I created eight days ago. The results of this experiment have been miraculous. 2 years ago I would have been surprised by the results, but knowing my fear was completely irrational, I'm not surprised at all. Hello, my name is Paul and I'm a recovering alcoholic, I'm extremely allergic to horses, at times I struggle with anxiety, and I have been diagnosed ADHD 4 different times by medical professionals. You're probably wondering why I would lead off with this enticing intro, but after reading a couple profiles, I couldn't get a real idea of who the gals really were... so by being upfront, honest and transparent, I am saving both of us time. None of these things truly define me, but this is an honest description of who I am. When I first started writing my profile it contained words like funny, outgoing, motivated, happy, and all the other generic descriptors, which do describe me, but I thought I would tell it straight. You might be an alcoholic if.. - you walk your dog at night with a glass of beer in your hand!!! -Penni .you make a trip to the liquor store for beer but forget the grocery store for the much needed milk. -Angela - You go to pee before bed but realize in horror the next morning that you missed the toilet seat by an entire room. -Jamey -You misplace things..like a decade -Dee - The first thing you do in the morning is check your Facebook, email, and call record to see what you may have done the night before! -Kathy Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group. Be sure to expand your recovery network in and Seattle on February 27th and San Francisco on March 5th . Dates for NYC, San Francisco, Denver Costa Rica and Norway are coming soon. This episode was brought to you by Sober Nation.
Mon, January 25, 2016
049: Songs About Recovery and Getting Sober
Colin shares how he has made it to 16 days of sobriety. I'd like to give a special thanks to Maureen for helping me compile this great list of songs about recovery and getting sober. There are some great artists putting recovery on the map. “Hate Me” - Blue October. What alcoholic cannot relate to these lyrics? I know I’ve felt this so many times. When we disappoint our loved ones after a relapse or crisis. It would be so much easier if they would just hate me and go away. The voice of his mother can be heard at the beginning on his answering system. She’s calling to check on him and see if he’s taken his medications. He’s got 90-days sober and wants to thank her. Good song. “You’re Not My God” - Keith Urban. “You’re not my God and you’re not my friend. You’re not the one I will walk with in the end”. I view this as a goodbye letter to alcohol and drugs. It’s got a great message. Urban is public with his recovery as well. “That’s Why I’m Here” - Kenny Chesney. This is a great song and it’s one man’s take on his first AA meeting. It gives the impression I know I’ve felt of wanting what other people had. “They started talkin’ about steps you take. Mistakes you make and the hearts that we break”. There are a lot of 12-step references and I found it so relatable. In the beginning he says “Well I ain’t had nothin’ to drink. I knew that’s probably what you’d think”. I know this hit a chord with me as people would often if I really was sober. Macklemore has a bunch of good songs. “Fallin’” has lyrics, “Another drink at the bar but I’m not drunk enough..”. He goes on to describe his downward spiral in pretty good detail. “Otherside” is a great song about relapse and how low that can make you feel. He describes going back to a meeting after a relapse and a fan tells him how much he’s inspired her with her own recovery. He can’t even look at her as he is so ashamed and feels like a “fake”. It’s a great song for starting all over. Remember, relapse is part of recovery and I know I’ve beaten myself up so bad in the past. “Inhale Deep” has an inspiring message about “...every struggle in life, is there to teach you a lesson...”. “But if you make the end You will never know the beauty of being able to stand up again”. Very powerful lyrics. He has a new song for his next album entitled “Kevin”. He teams up with Leon Bridges and this song talks about the epidemic of doctors prescribing medications and people getting addicted. You can’t buy the single yet but I strongly recommend you watch the YouTube clip of the two of them performing it at an awards show this fall. Leon Bridges is like a throw-back to Sam Cooke and says, “Doctor please, give me a dose of the American Dream. Put down the pen and look in my eyes...we’re
Mon, January 18, 2016
048: The Mirror Test | Can You Look Yourself in the Mirror
James with 8 days of sobriety shares why he wants to quit. There was a period of time from around 2004-2014 where I could not look at myself in the mirror. I didn't want to admit it, but I was disgusted with myself. I didn't recognize the person standing there and I didn't know what to do about it. I thought the problem was others, I thought the problem was stress, I thought the problem was anxiety and depression. I definitely wasn't ready to examine the problem could possibly be my ally alcohol. No way. Not at all. That couldn't be the problem. Nope. It wasn't until I reached emotional sobriety in 2014 when I started to catch glimpses of the real Paul Churchill in the mirror. It didn't happen day one of sobriety. It didn't happen day 30. But like the seasons change, I was eventually able to look myself in the mirror without total disgust. Fast forward to January 18th, 2016. I embrace that man in the mirror. We challenge each other to be better. To make others better and that man in the mirror is my best friend. Here is the poem a football coach read to us in High School. The Guy in the Glass by Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934 When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf, And the world makes you King for a day, Then go to the mirror and look at yourself, And see what that guy has to say. For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife, Who judgement upon you must pass. The feller whose verdict counts most in your life Is the guy staring back from the glass. He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest, For he's with you clear up to the end, And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test If the guy in the glass is your friend. You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum, And think you're a wonderful guy, But the man in the glass says you're only a bum If you can't look him straight in the eye. You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years, And get pats on the back as you pass, But your final reward will be heartaches and tears If you've cheated the guy in the glass. Dale Wimbrow 1895-1954 "You might be an alcoholic if" -your spring cleaning meant clearing out the alcohol hiding spots, noo
Mon, January 11, 2016
047: Americans are Drinking Themselves to Death
An article written by the Alaksa Dispatch News titles "Americas are drinking themselves to death at record rates" was recently posted in the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Group on facebook and I was blown away by what I read. Here are some of the bullets that I want to point out from the article. Facts about the booze: Last year more than 30,700 Americans died from alcohol-induced causes In 2014 there were 9.6 deaths from these alcohol-induced causes per 100,000 people, an increase of 37% since 2002. in 2014 28,647 people died of heroin and prescription drug overdoses which is less than the 30,700 from alcohol. The top 10% of American adults consume the lions share of alcohol in this country with close to 74 drinks on average. Line between "moderate use” and “Dangerous use”can be a thin one. A recent study quantified the rise of death associated with the use of a variety of common recreational drugs and they found that at the level of individual use, alcohol was the deadliest substance, followed by heroine and cocaine. Meetup! Bozeman in January 23rd and Seattle February 27th 2016 This is huge Recovery Elevator. The first Recovery Elevator meetup will be taking place in Seattle on Saturday February 27th, 2016. Details to come. Email info@recoveryelevator.com for more info on this meetup. You might be an alcoholic if: - you feel like you have to hide it from anybody at any time. Bill - Interviewee -you swish mouthwash to freshen your breath and you notice you cannot taste or feel it... it's like swishing water -Margaret -at 476 days you are still finding empty beer cans in the garage, workshop, musical equipment cases etc because you were hiding so many empties thinking that you were fooling everyone about how much you were actually drinking. -James P -you carry the tiny wine bottles in your purse and one falls out when you go to pay for your mani pedi at the nail salon. -Larecia -you live in a really small tourist town with 3 liquor stores within walking distance and you go in the liquor store to buy your usual, and the clerk offers you the "locals" (read frequent buyer) discount! -Tyrrell You find a half-empty flask of flavored vodka that you hid under the sink months ago and actually contemplate drinking it, even though you just hit one week sober. -Me This podcast was brought to you by Sober Nation.
Mon, January 04, 2016
046: Sobriety in the New Year and Resolutions
Are New Years resolutions really a good thing? In my opinion, if there is anything in life really worth changing, then waiting till a certain day to make that change seems silly to me. However, if the spirit of the New Year is to create goals and accountability, then I am all for it. My new years resolution is to quit the gym. I know that sounds really strange but I have gotten way to comfortable with my routine at the gym to the point where I am in the center of my comfort zone circle. Last night I cancelled my gym membership and will be making an effort to to outdoor activities with my dog and use my own body weight for resistance. I'll let you know how it goes. Here is an outline of what is discussed in today 1) For people thinking of making “stop drinking” a new years resolution: Resolutions are good and its a great time to start something new. However, alcoholics are experts at making promises (even to ourselves) and then letting ourselves down. There are thousands of self help books on reaching goals (i.e. tony robbins) but a true alcohol problem requires more than will power and knowledge. I think we have all made the resolution to stop drinking on new years day - and that is good! But when dealing with addiction, the day doesn’t have much power than the other 364 days a year if we don’t take a few steps to get us on the path to sobriety. If this is you, I encourage you to save yourself a lot of grief and supplement this resolution with some action such as: attending a meeting (maybe your resolution includes attending at least one meeting a week for a year), telling someone close to you, and maybe even join our private Facebook accountability page and post to the group introducing yourself. Its a lot easier to quit drinking when you are part of a community that cares about you. 2) For people well on their way in sobriety that are making new resolutions: We are experts at making promises and failing. We are also experts and trying to do things our own way, only to find ourselves humbled as we constantly "bang our head on a wall” hoping the outcome will somehow “be different this time.” I almost want to save myself (and all of you) the agony of defeat by just skipping resolutions this year. However, not trying something is way worse than not trying and failing! What if we tried something and we actually succeeded! Sobriety can be so fragile in the beginning. Maybe skipping resolutions and just “working your program” is the right move. Without sobriety nothing else in life really matters. However, if you are at a point in your recovery where your program is working and you still have some energy to spare. Improving other areas of your life can actually strengthen your sobriety. The key then, is to skip the standard mode of operation (make a big promise and use willpower to try and fulfill it) and instead use some of
Mon, December 28, 2015
045: Recovery is Moving in the Right Direction | A Recap of the 60 Minute Segment on Drug and Alcohol Addiction
Micheal Hilton, with over 10 years of sobriety, discusses his recovery portfolio. Micheal Hilton is a leader in the recovery community and does personal coaching with his company Breakthrough Coaching. 60 minutes recently did a segment on addiction. Micheal Botticelli, the "Drug Czar” is someone who from first hand experience knows the intricacies of alcoholism and addiction. Here are some key points of what I took from this segment. 40 years and a trillion dollars, nation has little to show of the war on drugs. 21 million americans are addicted to drugs and alcohol and nearly 1/2 of federal incarcerations are in for drug crimes. “can’t arrest addiction out of people.” “We have learned that addiction is a brain disease.” “ We can’t expect cancers patients to just stop having cancer.” Addicts should be patients and not prisoners. Michael Botticelli has created a high school for teens in recovery in Massachusetts. Convicts can choose rehab over jail and this actually reduces crime. in 1998 crashed his car and woke up hand cuffed to a gurney. Alcohol free for 27 years. Oversees 26 billion dollar budget across 16 government agencies. Over 1/2 of the money goes to drug enforcement. Says the heroin crisis was created at home. Pain scripts have risen from 76 million in 1991 to 207 million in 2015. More than 120 americans die of drug overdoses each day. Tried an experiment in 2010 with the quincy police department. Officers are armed with Naloxone. A nasal spray for an overdose. Also changed laws called the good samaritan law. Today, 32 states have adopted similar laws and more than 800 police departments carry Naloxone. In Massachussets, Botticelli has made treating addiction routine health care. The affordable care act requires the most of insurance companies to cover addiction treatment. Substance abuse is one of the only disease where we let people reach their most acute point of the disease or “bottom” before we intervene. Botticelli prefers the word disorder instead of addict. Sees a model in the attitude towards the stigma with the gay rights movement. He was more comfortable being a gay man, before saying he was an alcoholic. “We have more work to do.” over 1/2 a million a year are killed by legal drugs. Alcohol and nicotine. Botticelli is not in favor of legalizing marijuana. Grew up as in insecure kid. A very wise judge said you can either get care for your drinking problem or you continue the path of this criminal behavior. You Might be an Alcoholic if... Claire You keep a note pad by the phone so you can take notes about your drunk dialings, bu
Fri, December 25, 2015
044: Is Alcoholism a Disability? According to Former USC Head Football Coach it is.
In this episode we heard from 33 year old Autumn, explains how she has been a successful student and a mom in sobriety. According to an article from the Los Angeles Times , Steve Sarkisian is suing former employer University of California for improper dismissal when he was recently fired as Head Football coach due to his drinking problem. Coach Sarkisian is seeking monies of $30,000,000, which he feels is properly owed to him due to California state laws. Here are this weeks "You Might be an Alcoholic if's" Tommy- You wake up mid black out and you’re being arrested. Richard- Indiana If you leave a message at work while blacked out saying you’ve been up all night throwing up and you won’t be in to work the next morning. Only when you wake up, you forgot you called in sick and the first thing the boss says to you is, “Richard, I thought you were vomiting all night and weren’t coming in this morning”? Shelly- If you tell your family on Christmas Day that this is your big hurrah before quitting, and then everyday until New Years you sneak beer and pour it into a large mug to hide it. Racheal- If you've gone two weeks sober, and then you decide to have wine at lunch while out with your (sober) husband, and the minute you decide to have that wine you are instantly irritated that the server is taking too long to come back to take your food order. At this moment, you can no longer hear anything your husband is saying, and then you drink your glass in 10 minutes and order a second one while he's in the bathroom so he doesn't judge you. Carrie- You cut the end off the wine bag and drain it out so you don't ware any. This podcast episode was brought to you by Sober Nation.
Mon, December 21, 2015
044: Is Alcoholism a Disability? According to Former USC Head Football Coach it is.
33 year old Autumn, explains how she has been a successful student and a mom in sobriety. According to an article from the Los Angeles Times , Steve Sarkisian is suing former employer University of California for improper dismissal when he was recently fired as Head Football coach due to his drinking problem. Coach Sarkisian is seeking monies of $30,000,000, which he feels is properly owed to him due to California state laws.
Mon, December 14, 2015
043: 63 Ways to Stay Sober Over the Holidays
In this Episode Shannon, who is a high bottom drunk explains how she made it to nearly 80 days sober. She mentions she loves Karaoke and you can check out Jimmy Cliff's "I Can See Clearly Now" on YouTube because that's how we both feel these days! While listening to the Bubble Hour Podcast a few weeks ago on my drive home for Thanksgiving, I heard some great ideas on how to stay sober over the Holidays. One of the segments was how to respond when someone offers you a drink at a Holiday party. I heard from great responses, but none of the answers were the truth. What I have learned in recovery, is the best answer is the truth. The truth is liberating and you will be surprised by the lack of questions you will get after telling someone you don't drink. Most people are happy for you, and encourage your decision to not drink. A small percentage will give you flack, and this is a great way to quickly find out who are not your friends. Another small group will become inquisitive and start asking questions like, how much did you used to drink? Or, why are you not drinking? These people are asking for themselves because they have been questioning their own drinking habit. But here are 77 additional tips on how to stay sober over the Holidays. I do not claim for this to be a full and comprehensive list, and with certainty, I can predict leaving out some very important ones. But here ya go. 63 ways to stay sober over the Holidays Hang out with another alcoholic: That guy Bill was on to something there. Dedicate 5 minutes today, 10 minutes tomorrow, 15 minutes the next day and increase by five minutes each day on a dormant hobby that you used to love so much. This could be the guitar, model trains, knitting, or swimming. Endless possibility of fun things to do. Find conduits to your higher power: Forest, Snow, Trans Siberian Orchestra in a Starbucks coffee shop, painting and so much more. Music: Listen to music. Have you heard flamenco? It’s incredible. Write a letter to a friend. Not an email, but place a stamp on an envelope and send it out. Write down 5 things you are thankful for each day. My first sponsor requested this of me, and after 16 days, I had 8 things listed in my gratitude list. Not because I wasn’t thankful for things in life, but because sometimes these small, seemingly infinitesimal tasks were very had. Have a sit down chat with your addiction: Hey Gary, as you know the Holidays are approaching… Call a family member that isn’t immediate family and tell them how much you appreciate them. This could be a cousin, uncle, etc. When in a drive through (preferably not fast food), pay for the pers
Mon, December 07, 2015
042: Recovery on a Road Trip Home for the Holidays
Ferril from Party Sober clothing, with over 5 years of sobriety shares how has been successful sober entrepreneur.
Mon, November 30, 2015
041: Emotional Sobriety and Not Just a Dry Drunk
In Episode 41, I talk about emotional sobriety which is a topic breached with trepidation because fully understanding emotional sobriety is near impossible and I have so much more to learn about it. Also in this episode, I interview Erik from Massachusetts who is doing a great job in recovery working with other alcoholics. He mentioned in his interview that it isn't a requirement to hit rock bottom in recovery, a concept I wasn't familiar with in 2014 when I hit my bottom. The bulk of the content for this episode comes from Elliot P who just reached 2 years of sobriety earlier this month. Way to go Elliot!
Mon, November 23, 2015
040: Self Loathing in Recovery Continues | Stop Beating Yourself Up
Felicia shares how she reached nearly 60 days of sobriety and we check back in with Robert who has been interviewed twice on the podcast.
Thu, November 19, 2015
Recovery Elevator Bonus Episode 1: Why I got Sober
Paul Joins Shane Ramer from that Sober Guy Podcast, Micheal from the UK and Omar the Shair Podcast and talk about why they got sober.
Mon, November 16, 2015
039: Signs of Alcohol Relapse and How to Avoid Them
Douglas Lail with the "Hello My Name Is" project, uses painting to help him stay sober.
Mon, November 09, 2015
038: Quotes About Sobriety
Jessica Shares how she made it to 141 days of sobriety!
Mon, November 02, 2015
037: Sex, Dating and Relationships in Sobriety
Anthony from Rise Together, with nearly 3 years of sobriety joins the Podcast.
Mon, October 26, 2015
036: Four Types of Alcoholics | Which One Are You?
Robert with 5 days of sobriety joins the podcast again. Robert was previously on episode 17 and he is determined to achieve sobriety.
Mon, October 19, 2015
035: What Courage Looks Like in Sobriety
Jason, with 4 years of Sobriety, climbs a 14,000 + foot peak each year on his sobriety date.
Mon, October 12, 2015
034: Alcohol Myths and Realities
Omar from the Shair Podcast joins the show.
Mon, October 05, 2015
033: 5 things that are holding you back from quitting drinking | Matthew shares how he has made multiple years of sobriety.
Matthew shares the Smart Recovery program and how counting years of sobriety isn't the best motivation to stay sober.
Mon, September 28, 2015
032: Paul makes 1 year of sobriety and shares his story: Part 3 the Solution
Tim explains about how Smart Recovery has helped him stay sober
Mon, September 21, 2015
031: Paul makes 1 year of sobriety and shares his story: Part 2
Also in this podcast episode Lindsey shares how she made it out of her first 30 days of sobriety which she was in for over 4 years.
Mon, September 14, 2015
030: Paul makes 1 year of sobriety and shares his story: Part 1
Also in this episode, Jon shares how he reached 103 days of sobriety without AA or a 12 step program. He does however, have his own program in place.
Mon, September 07, 2015
029: Why you can't stop drinking after you take that first drink
Jeff has been sober since 2013 and he shares how he made that dream a reality.
Mon, August 31, 2015
028: 5 Ways to Avoid Relapse | 27 year old Hollie shares her story in sobriety
27 year old Hollie shares her story in sobriety
Mon, August 24, 2015
027: If the Media Covered Alcohol Like Other Drugs
Lisa, 39 and a mother of 3, explains how she has made it to 18 months sobriety.
Mon, August 17, 2015
026: The Other Side Part 4 | Paul Does Las Vegas Sober
This is the 4th part of the 4 part series called the other side where Paul interviews a non alcoholic who has been directly affected by an alcoholic. Diane is the the daughter of two alcoholics, the sister of an alcoholic who passed away earlier this year and a mother of a 19 year old alcoholic. In this episode, we also hear from Ian, who shares how he has successfully made it to 18 months of sobriety. Paul discusses how he made it 3 days in Las Vegas Sober through his fantasy football draft. This episode was brought to you by Sober Nation.
Mon, August 10, 2015
025: The Other Side Part 3 |Cassy Married an Alcoholic
47 year old Claire, from Michigan explains how she reached 9 years of sobriety!
Mon, August 03, 2015
024: The Other Side Part 2 | Emma is the daughter of an alcoholic and is headed into her junior year of high school
Jim shares how surrendering is vital to his sobriety.
Mon, July 27, 2015
023: The Other Side Part 1 | Spouses and loved ones of alocholics
Shelly from Hawaii, who has nearly 3 months of sobriety, shares how she plans to be successful in recovery.
Mon, July 20, 2015
022: Some not so sobering information about drunk driving
Brigder decides to call it quits with alcohol after he wakes up in his car passed out covered in his own urine.
Mon, July 13, 2015
021: 10 Ways to meet new friends in sobriety
Simone from South Africa tells how she made it 8 months of Sobriety
Mon, July 06, 2015
020: I didn't have to drink over that |Using alcohol to cope with life struggles
Dez, with 18 months of sobriety shares her experience
Mon, June 29, 2015
019: Is Sugar your friend of foe after quitting alcohol?
Robert, with 5 days of sobriety, shares his journey.
Mon, June 22, 2015
018: Tim from Sobernation.com shares his story and how in recovery he has created online community of over 200k people in recovery
Also in the episode, Paul discusses the must see The Anonymous People, which is a documentary about recovery.
Mon, June 15, 2015
017: 9 ways to stay sober in social gatherings without drinking
Leleah, from Mission Canada, reaches 30 days of sobriety and shares how she did it
Mon, June 08, 2015
016: Do I have to go to rehab to get sober?
Lee Pepper from Foundations Recovery Network explains how rehab works.
Mon, June 01, 2015
015: Acceptance Was/Is the Answer
Shane Ramer from That Sober Guy Podcast tells us how he has successfully navigated sobriety and addiction.
Mon, May 25, 2015
014: Anxiety, depression and alcohol? Be honest with your doctor
Randy Raphael has 8.5 years of sobriety and he tells how getting sober doesn't have to be such a struggle.
Mon, May 18, 2015
013: Expectations in sobriety and what needs to be addressed
Eric finds himself in a wheelchair at 6 months of sobriety and doesn’t drink. He talks about what he thought sobriety was going to be like and what to expect.
Mon, May 11, 2015
012: Why today is the best day to start your sobriety and quit drinking alcohol
Alcoholism is a progressive disease and Paul, with 34 years of sobriety explains how he has made it this long with out a drink. Below are the key points Paul discusses. Drinking destroys the intelligence After 34 years is still taking it one day at a time Drinking destroys in this order: Spiritual, Mind then body. Healing is in reverse order This disease is beautiful (the solution, continuing to be of service to the community and others) ISM – incredibly short memory Wants to be reminded on a daily basis that is doesn’t get any better Gets gooder and gooder and gooder Sick and tired of being sick and tired
Mon, May 04, 2015
011: 7 characteristics of a dry drunk and how to avoid this
Moira has 9 months of sobriety, has lost 55 pounds and explains how her life is so much better without alcohol. A dry drunk is someone who: 1. Has made no emotional or behavioral changes. 2. Someone who simply doesn't drink and does not work a programs or invest time into their recovery 7 Characteristics of a Dry Drunk: 1. Selfish a. Alcoholics are all extremely selfish and we think we are in total control at all times. We think we have beat the system 2. My Way or the Highway – Tom Cochrane "Life is a highway" a. Spontaneous decisions with only one person in mind 3. The Blah…… <p class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent
Mon, April 27, 2015
010: Shred the shame of being an alcoholic and be proud of your decision to quit drinking alcohol
Maggie who has 14 days of sobriety in her early recovery explains how she made it this far and what gave her the motivation to stop drinking alcohol. Here are some of the resources discussed in Episode 10 AA on Air Wellington Hello Sunday Morning Foundations Recovery Network And of course, the battle with the iPhone
Mon, April 20, 2015
009: 6 ways to take action in sobriety before really taking action in recovery
In this episode, I interview Tom, who has 4 more days of sobriety than myself, and I hope that never changes! Tom you are officially my new accountability partner. In this episode I discuss 6 ways you can take action before really taking action. 1. Wake up - set a routine 2. Pray, say something positive to yourself and meditate 3. Make healthy meals 4. Clean - organize the space you live in 5. Exercise - walk, jog, run, stretch 6. Get busy - keep your mind off alcohol with healthy time consuming tasks DIY Pete has a great website that walks viewers through building great projects STEP BY STEP. This is a great resource and healthy activity in early sobriety!
Mon, April 13, 2015
008: Nate, who has 5 years sobriety and is about to become a father, shares his amazing journey
Paul climbed Machu Picchu in 2014 while sobering up and the trek mentally and physically kicked my butt. In 2015, he dominated the trek becuase sobriety was with my every step of the way. In this Episode Paul talks about speaking to the girls in the Peruvian Promises program, which is part of the non profit Peruvian Hearts about the topic of alcoholism. Although none of the girls in the orphanages and the Peruvian Promise program are alcoholics, several of their parents are. Portions of the donations submitted through the website and mobile app will be given to the Peruvian Hearts program in addition Paul will be organizing a trip in 2016 to the volunteer again. Paul speaking to the girls of the Peruvian Promise program Paul and Nate hitch hiking in El Salvador in sobriety! You can tell it's a little warm at the time this photo was taken!
Mon, April 06, 2015
007: I could not stop drinking alcohol while in route to Cusco, Peru where I was slated to be a chaperone
I was headed to Cusco, Peru as a chaperone for a group of highschool students around this same time last year, and when I started drinking on the first flight I kept drinking all night and up until moments before meeting the students. It was insane, which is exactly what this disease is.
Mon, March 30, 2015
006: Alcohol is the most dangerous drug in the world
Alcohol is the most dangerous drug in the world and you probably don’t even realize it. David Nutt, psychiatrist at imperial college in the UK and former Chairman of the UK advisory council on drugs. - Kills 3 million people worldwide - Was fired for suggesting alcohol was most dangerous drug - In the USA alcohol is responsible for 1/3 of all traffic fatalities - With homicides ½ were intoxicated and 2/3 of domestic violence victims - You’re likely to be a victim is doubled as well Harm score from - Measures drugs on a score of 16 (9 measure harm to individual user and 7 measure societal factors) - Heroine, crack, and Meth are more dangerous when only individual factors, but even so, alcohol is the 4 th . - Tobacco is the 7 th most harmful drug. 9/10 people can handle alcohol, but 0/10 people can smoke. QUIT SMOKING NOW - Important to not confuse legality with dangerousness. The reasons some drugs are legal are mainly cultural and political. - Marijuana is the gateway drug? Nope. It’s alcohol and even more dangerous than ecstasy and LSD
Mon, March 23, 2015
005: You've got to be kidding me, he's an alcoholic also?
When I found out one of my brother's best friends is an alcoholic I was blown away; an a little upset that we hadn't connected years before so we could have been working together. Here are some of the resources that Elliot likes. Joe and Charlie Rich Roll Sandy Beach Like Elliot mentioned, if you would like to get in touch with Elliot, email info@recoveryelevator.com and we will put you in touch with him.
Mon, March 16, 2015
004: Alcohol has cost me $155,052 and that's a low estimate.
It's so depressing to imagine the amount of money wasted on alcohol. Celebration · Ashamed, didn’t want to tell anyone. 185 days of sobriety. Accountability · Goals The research is conclusive. Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at Dominican University in California, did a study on goal-setting with 267 participants. She found that you are 42 percent more likely to achieve your goals just by writing them down. Goal: Quit drinking. Must have a date, a plan, details, etc.
Mon, March 09, 2015
003: Your alcohol addiction is lurking nearby and it is getting stronger
Paul sums up his summer of 2014 and drinking career with one dream explaining why he decided his elevator had gone down far enough. Points to discuss during Podcast -It works! It's keeping me sober. Talk about every Monday at 6am goal and how someone reached out. Fear of creating podcasts is no one will listen, mine is that people will actually listen. Dream Peace, Calm, unity, free Gary Jules - Mad World Dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had which describes how Paul felt in the summer of 2014. Repeating statements, words etc. Broken Record. Are you not listening to your own podcasts? Addiction doing laps on ten-speed bike Addiction can dunk a basketball Doing pull-ups Burpees Taking a break, then buying performance enhancing drugs Picture of my beautiful view while podcasting <img src="data:image/png;base64,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
Tue, February 24, 2015
002: Sobriety is located outside of your comfort zone
The only way you're going to be able to quit drinking is to get outside of your comfort zone. If you are not willing to do this, then your chances of getting sober are bleak. Show Notes for Episode 2: What is covered · Why you are a lucky one · Myths debunked · Can I ever drink again? · Comfort Zone · Success Rates ·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; f
Sun, February 22, 2015
001: Do you have a drinking problem
Answering this question is easier than you might think........
Thu, February 12, 2015
000: I'm an alcoholic
Paul discusses his struggles with alcohol and his experiences in early recovery. Test Content
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