Citizen's Guide To The Supernormal
This a podcast dedicated to the weird, unexplained, and all things sticky, stupid, and uncomfortable like a gloryhole in a nursing home.
Sun, October 27, 2024
Scary Nature: Forests, Everest, and Butterscotch Pudding
Sorry for dropping this one so late so let's just pretend it's still summer. In this episode we talk about the terrifying nature of... nature. We explore the terrors of Sarge's summer camp and then take a trip to the tallest mountain of earth. The we wrap it all up with a rousing edition of dick news!
Wed, June 19, 2024
The Great Molasses Flood: Death, Negligence, and Walls of Goo
Back from a short break, the gang covers the insane story of the Great Molasses Flood, the history of Boston's North End, and some political intrigue. Links: SargesSupermornal.com https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer https://x.com/maynerdrules Sources: References: https://www.boston-discovery-guide.com/great-molasses-flood.html https://www.southernliving.com/food/sweeteners/molasses/what-is-molasses http://tellnewengland.com/rumtrade https://mse.engin.umich.edu/internal/demos/case-study-molasses-tank-failure#:~:text=The%20tank%2C%20which%20was%20located,5%2F8%20of%20an%20inch. https://www.telegram.com/story/news/state/2016/11/25/temperature-explains-why-boston-molasses-flood-of-1919-was-so-deadly/24477461007/ https://www.livescience.com/56947-why-molasses-flood-1919-was-deadly.html https://www.mass.gov/info-details/sacco-vanzetti-the-red-scare-of-1919-1920
Tue, May 21, 2024
Episode 46: Things That Aren't Flat: Lunar Eclipses, Dunning Kruger, and DICK NEWS!
We talk about Earth and other things that are definitely not a disk. Also, behold the glorious return of DICK NEWS!
Tue, May 14, 2024
A Conversation With Jeremy London: Ghosts, Aliens, and Courtroom Farts
We give Laura the day off and welcome special guest, Jeremy London. We discuss ghosts, aliens, remote viewing, psychics, premonitions, and ancient aliens.
Tue, May 07, 2024
Episode 44 - Ancient Torture Methods: Butts, Petting Zoos, and More Butts
Maynerd, Laura, and Sarge the Destroyer have returned from a long hiatus to talk about torture methods, ripped buttholes, and all things sticky, stupid, and uncomfortable. Follow us on Social media: - https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer - https://twitter.com/maynerdrules - https://www.instagram.com/maynerdrules/ You want sources? We got sources: - https://allthatsinteresting.com/pear-of-anguish - https://www.iflscience.com/poena-cullei-is-the-most-cruel-and-unusual-punishment-ever-dreamt-up-66575 - https://theconversation.com/mythbusting-ancient-rome-cruel-and-unusual-punishment-87939 - https://allthatsinteresting.com/judas-cradle
Tue, August 02, 2022
Episode 43 - The Khamar Daban Incident: Stop Hiking In Siberia
In 1993, 150 miles (241 km) south east of the Dyatlov Pass, 6 hikers would die suddenly and mysteriously while hiking in a Siberian mountain range. We take a deep dive into their story using multiple sources and try to figure out what might have happened. Check out episode 43: The Khamar Daban incident - Stop Hiking In Siberia. If you enjoyed this show, please like, subscribe, and share us with the world Watch our video on youtube.com/sargethedestroyer https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer twitter.com/maynerdrules https://twitter.com/Nature_B_Laura References: YouTube.com - Merc Docs: The Khamar Daban Incident https://youtu.be/tifHdZnK_EE Medicalnewtoday.com https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320237#:~:text=The%20sensation%20of%20ears%20popping,ear%20pain Encyclopedia.com https://www.encyclopedia.com/earth-and-environment/ecology-and-environmentalism/environmental-studies/alpine-zone#:~:text=alpine%20zone%20A%20region%20that%20occurs%20above%20the%20tree%2Dline,on%20temperate%20and%20tropical%20mountains. Thought Catalogue https://thoughtcatalog.com/christine-stockton/2021/12/the-group-of-russian-hikers-who-started-bleeding-from-their-eyes/ Areal-Tur https://areal-tur.ru/en/belorussiya/pereval-dyatlova-gruppa-lyudmily-korovinoi-uchenye-raskryli-tainu.html Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khamar-Daban Medium https://medium.com/the-mystery-box/the-most-credible-theories-regarding-the-khamar-daban-incident-ae84d8a60be2 Strange Outdoors https://www.strangeoutdoors.com/historical-strangeness/korovina-group That I did not know https://thatididntknow.com/the-korovina-incident-6-die-in-mysterious-circumstances/ Cleveland Clinic https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/21880-protein-c-deficiency National Library of Medicine https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3389480/#:~:text=The%20clinical%20effects%20of%20mild,very%20low%20or%20even%20absent The Mayo Clinic https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hypothermia/symptoms-causes/syc-20352682
Mon, January 17, 2022
Episode 39 Space Conspiracies- That's no moon, wait it is a moon, or is it a satellite
In this one, we talk about space conspiracies and how thunderously stupid they are. Support us here: https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer
Sun, January 16, 2022
Back From The Dead: Shirtless Weirdos, Graveyard Surprises, and Blowing Smoke Up Your Butt
In this episode, the gang talks about all the ways they tried to revive the dead and a couple of folks who survived being buried alive. Support us here: https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer
Fri, October 22, 2021
Episode 37- Naked Hotel Parties, The Jusco Phantom, and Claustrophobia
We did our first ever livestream episode! We talked about the Biltmore Hotel in Rhode Island, The Jusco Phantom, and a haunted mine in Nevada. Find us on Twitter: Sarge - https://twitter.com/BastardProphet Maynerd - https://twitter.com/maynerdrules Laura - https://twitter.com/Nature_B_Laura The Podcast Account - https://twitter.com/CGSuperNormal Find us on Instagram: Sarge - https://www.instagram.com/sargethedes... Maynerd - https://www.instagram.com/maynerdrules/ Check out our store on TeeSpring: https://citizensguidetothesupernormal... See the recording of this livestream at: https://youtu.be/HYtnLotlum8 My two sources for The Jusco Phantom (they did a way better job than I did): KyotoRabato on YouTube: https://youtu.be/yX2oyNmyndc Mr. Ballen on YouTube: https://youtu.be/lG6ghojk3oQ
Sun, May 16, 2021
The Adrenochrome Conspiracy: QAnon, Anti-Semitism, and Beliving Nonsense
In this episode, we cover one of the core tenets of the Q-Anon conspiracy theory. It's just as stupid as you think it is... Donate, buy merch, or follow us here: https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer Sources: https://newrepublic.com/article/159529/qanon-blood-libel-satanic-panic http://marcuse.faculty.history.ucsb.edu/classes/33d/projects/protzion/DelaCruzProtocolsMain.htm https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2020/08/conspiracy-theory-rule-them-all/615550/ https://skeptoid.com/episodes/4750?gclid=Cj0KCQiAst2BBhDJARIsAGo2ldUBdcm3y1dy0BiwtYzGRauWGUbq4DBchGDKrUfH0k8geR9Ey8AQbnAaAuG6EALw_wcB https://www.thedailybeast.com/how-qanon-became-obsessed-with-adrenochrome-an-imaginary-drug-hollywood-is-harvesting-from-kids https://www.wired.com/story/opinion-the-dark-virality-of-a-hollywood-blood-harvesting-conspiracy/
Sun, February 14, 2021
Three Stories- Frozen Relatives, Ghost Town or Bust, and Stuff Named Nancy
This episode tells three stories about the supernatural in New England and at the end we have DICK NEWS!
Thu, December 10, 2020
Lincoln's Ghost - Presidential Spectres, Turning Purple, And Blind Love (2)
Lincoln's Ghost - Presidential Specters, Turning Purple, and Blind Love PATREON GOAL: https://store.marilynmanson.com/products/double-cross-sex-toy-kit https://www.patreon.com/Sargethedestroyer https://teespring.com/stores/citizensguidetothesupernormal Welcome back to Citizen’s Guide to the Supernormal, Episode 33. In this Episode, special guest Octopus Caveman, (https://twitter.com/OctopusCaveman) joins us to talk about the ghost of America’s tallest ghost, Abraham Lincoln. Are the stories true? Is Lincoln haunting the White House? Who knows, enjoy the show, it gets off the rails quickly. Enjoy the show!
Thu, November 19, 2020
The Poltergeist Curse: 80s parents, Major Dad, and dick arms
Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal - Episode 32 The Poltergeist Curse: 80s parents, Major Dad, and dick arms https://teespring.com/stores/citizensguidetothesupernormal https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer Welcome back to the Citizen’s Guide blog. First of all, sorry we took so long to get back on track but if I’m being honest, it has been a year. Our podcast Twitter was recently suspended for unknown reasons but thanks to Maynerd’s quick thinking, we’re back like cooked crack, y’all. Check us out at https://twitter.com/CGSuperNormal?s=09. This episode was a bit of a departure from our usual fare but somehow it was still pretty “on brand” as people that I hate would say. In this episode we cover a legendary curse from a storied series of films with an unintentional body count higher than a Trump Rally, RIP Big Herm. That’s right, we’re talking about the curse of Poltergeist! I won’t spoil the fun but a lot of people died and one guy definitely regrets buying a dead kid’s doll. While you listen, consider the power of coincidence. If I told you that 4 people from the 1960 film Ocean’s 11 are dead, you wouldn’t be surprised but if I told you that 4 people from a movie made in 1982 are now dead, it’s a little more curious. People die all the time but when it happens right after a movie is made, the normal becomes… supernormal.
Sun, September 13, 2020
The Great Barrington Event; Corn, Butternuts, and 40 Pound Dildos
Citizen’s Guide to the Supernormal Episode 31- The Great Barrington Event: Corn, Butternuts, and 40 Pound Sex Toys https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer https://teespring.com/stores/citizensguidetothesupernormal Special Patreon Shoutout! - https://twitter.com/ObsidianShiv The best whip maker on Earth! Welcome back to the CGS blog. Where I get to wax philosophical about all things unexplained. In this week’s episode, we have a special guest, Ms. Tiffany Vanderlust or https://twitter.com/its_me_your_mom if you’re nasty. She joined us via the Zoom. In addition we had Ms. Laura and Jordan’s triumphant return. Jordan did some extensive research and we rewarded that by interrupting him throughout the entire show. I’m especially excited about this episode because we discuss a topic near and dear to my heart, giant sex toys. The beginning of the show, we talk about aliens or whatever but at the end of the show, known as “segment 3” (little inside baseball for all you non-podcasters out there) we do our favorite segment, Dick News! This is a meaty subject to be sure and we approach it with all the weight that it deserves. So, strap on and get ready because it’s gonna be a wild ride that leaves you wanting more and also wanting a sandwich and maybe a nap. We love you, Sarge citizensguidepodcast@gmail.com
Thu, August 27, 2020
The Axman of New Orleans: House Axes, The Black Hand, and Jazzin’ it into the good towels
Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal Episode 28 - The Bermuda Triangle: Atlantis, Poorly Made Boats, and Sanitary Napkins https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer https://teespring.com/stores/citizensguidetothesupernormal Well, we finally released another episode and it didn’t take us a month. That sounds like progress to me. This is another true crime episode and it’s got a spooky scary monster who used old-timey bible terms and loved Jazz. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear the Axman of New Orleans was Mike Pence. I know what you’re thinking, “why do you have to bring politics into this?” To that I respond, Mike Pence obviously likes Jazz. I mean, look at him. No one with eyes that dead hasn’t slowly masturbated to Miles Davis’ Kind Of Blue. Anyway, in researching this story, my biggest take away is that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Sure, fewer and fewer killers are trafficking in ax murders but it might come as no surprise that people in America have always been obsessed with race and immigrants. Much like today’s right wing quixotically fighting against migrants from south of Texas, early 19th century had a complicated relationship with another group of folks speaking a latin-based language, the dreaded Italian… which sounds like a super filling Subway Sandwich… great now I’m hungry. I won’t spoil the ending for you but this episode has some pretty interesting factors that led us down some weird roads. I hope you like the episode and I hope you’re staying safe. Be safe, we love you all. Sarge
Thu, July 02, 2020
The Servant Girl Annihilator! – Gloryholes, Bailey Jay… again, and Schrodinger's fingerprints
Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal Ep. 29 The Servant Girl Annihilator! – Gloryholes, Bailey Jay… again, and Schrodinger's fingerprints https://teespring.com/stores/citizensguidetothesupernormal https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer Well, it’s been a fucking lifetime since we had an episode release. As two out of the three of us are essential employees and Maynerd working hard from home, we were unable to get to our show. As we’ve not gotten a little more stable, we’re ready to make love to your earholes with our voices. Today’s topic is THE SERVANT GIRL ANNIHILATOR! One of the most horrific aspects of this story is the incredible amounts of racism exhibited by the people who investigated the crimes. Some things never change, unfortunately. Be Safe, Sarge
Mon, March 30, 2020
The Bermuda Triangle Charcoal Drawings, Sanitary Napkins, and The Sinky Cyclops
Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal EP-28 REMIX! The Bermuda Triangle: Charcoal Drawings, Sanitary Napkins, and The Sinky Cyclops https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer https://teespring.com/stores/citizensguidetothesupernormal Guys… we fudged up. We thought the audio was too quiet on the first Bermuda Triangle episode so we rerecorded it. However, Maynerd found it accidentally, edited it accidentally, and I released it… accidentally. The bad news is, we dropped the wrong episode, the good news is, we have two episodes! Some of the jokes are the same but some are very different and so it’s mildly funny… I think. You be the judge. I hope you like it. Same story, different jokes. It’s a CGS REMIX and not a big dumb mistake on my part. Is this one better, you be the judge but if we’re guilty, I will appeal. Love, Sarge
Sun, March 29, 2020
The Bermuda Triangle: Atlantis, Poorly Made Boats, and Sanitary Napkins
Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal Episode 28 - The Bermuda Triangle: Atlantis, Poorly Made Boats, and Sanitary Napkins https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer Welcome back to the CGS Blog! Holy shit, a lot has changed since we released our last episode. Jordan dropped something like 240 pounds, Maynerd and I sang a ballad, and the new Trolls movie came out! Honestly, I think we’re all in a weird place right now but keep your chin up. We’ll get through this together, one dick joke at a time. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about one of the most enduring mysteries of the modern world. That’s right gang, there’s a place on earth where many things enter and never see the light of day again (*name of my sex tape). We’re talking about the MOTHERF***ING BERMUDA TRIANGLE! Is it really everything it’s all chocked up to be? No, no it is not, but tune in anyway because you knew damn well we didn’t believe in that nonsense. The reason the Bermuda Triangle is such a powerful story is because much like all the things that truly scare us, it involves uncertainty. Not only do we not know what will happen when you disappear but you don’t even know if you’ll disappear if you’re unlucky enough to pass through it. It’s like when you were a kid and got in trouble at school. As the principal very thoroughly describes your epic upper-decker in the teacher’s bathroom. You’re sitting there sweating, not worried about getting suspended, you’re worried about what your parents are gonna do to you when you get home. I mean, it doesn’t get more primal than that. The Bermuda Triangle is like a well planned but poorly executed upper-decker… kinda. Anyway, we hope you enjoy the show. Also, we hope you pay a visit to our new T-Spring shop to get your official CGS merch. There’s a mug with my mug on it. Buy it, drink your morning coffee out of it while I silently scream at your eggs. Here’s the link: https://teespring.com/stores/citizensguidetothesupernormal Be safe, we love you all. Sarge *music from www.bensound.com
Mon, March 02, 2020
Cropsey: Urban Legends, South Sides of Towns, and Coke Pockets
CGS Blog Episode 27 Cropsey - Urban Legends, South Sides of Towns, and Coke Pockets www.Patreon.com/sargethedestroyer https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer Welcome back to the CGS blog. We got a crazy episode for you. It’s got true crime, urban legends, and dick news, like usual. We had a lot of fun recording this one and with any luck, you’re never going to see Newark Airport the same way again. Laura joined us again because frankly, she’s the only mature adult we know. Cropsey is a scary topic because it takes all the elements from the urban legends you know and makes them terrifyingly real because the guy from the lunatic asylum is actually stealing kids. There is some speculation as to whether the subject of this show is really a killer or not. We aren’t police, forensic pathologists, or responsible adults so we encourage you to actually watch the documentary entitled Cropsey, listen to our podcast, and then come to your own conclusions. This show was sourced mostly from the documentary and news articles about the story. We hope you like it or at least tolerate it. Have a great week and remember… THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE! Love, Sarge
Wed, February 19, 2020
CGS episode 26: False Flags - Torpedoes, Exploding Toilets, and Scary Weather
Citizen’s Guide to the Supernormal – EP 26 False Flags: Torpedoes, Exploding Toilets, and Scary Weather Welcome back to the CGS Blog. We took a little hiatus after the new year because I started a new job and a new semester at school. Sorry for the delay and thank you for coming back. This episode covers a topic near and dear to my heart. False Flag is a term used all too often these days. Our friends over at Infowars would have you believe that the US government is somehow capable of killing people without repercussions but after listening to our past failures I think you’ll find that it’s highly unlikely that 9/11 was a inside job when we couldn’t even attempt to kill Castro without our drooling, lazy asses finding out about it. I get it. It’s comforting to think that the US Government is somehow capable of carrying out nefarious acts of domestic terrorism instead of being the incessantly incompetent mountain of red tape and inanity that they actually are. It is better to assume we faked the moon landing than to admit that we sent three guys to land on a close celestial body with no confidence that those guys would come back as anything other than an overcooked flambe. Better that they killed Kennedy than to have no idea how a meek little dipshit could pick him off from the window of a book dump in Texas. Better to have FEMA camps than a collection of poorly built training bases on underfunded National Guard Bases. Well, I got bad news for you, fam, our Government is chock full of morons and dipshits. We can’t even come up with a coherent tax code let alone a simple plan for world domination. This episode should ease your fears of a deep state conspiracy. We don’t seem capable of making a deep-dish pizza without fucking it up but you do you, Q-Anon. Hugs and Kisses, Sarge
Wed, January 01, 2020
The Warminster Thing - Aliens, Bangers, and Hitachi hums
Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal Episode 25 – The Warminster Thing: Aliens, Bangers, and Hitachi hums https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer Welcome back to the Citizen’s Guide Blog! This was supposed to be a Christmas episode but I had a sort of crazy couple of weeks that resulted in my lazy ass getting a job so unfortunately, I had to put this episode on the back burner. However, here we are, better late than never. This Episode is fun because we get to talk about Aliens. I love aliens because frankly, nothing makes me happier than bumpkins being terrorized by interstellar visitors. If there is one thing that perfectly encapsulates this episode and the last year in general, it’s the concept of “fake news”. This episode touches on that concept but I don’t call it “fake news” because my brain refuses to dumb itself down far enough to say that out loud. Inaccurate? Sure. Purposely sensational? Of course. Fake? There are far better words, open a thesaurus. Anyway, this story highlights what happens when a reporter adjusts a story to fit their preconceived narrative. While many people in the US believe that the news has never been more biased and blatantly inaccurate, a quick browse into US History will highlight many examples of sensational, partly or entirely false new stories. In fact, William Randolph Hurst’s media empire basically started the Spanish American War. Don’t take my word for it, it’s worth a google. The point I’m trying to make is that if you’re reading this, you’re probably pretty smart. Don’t let either side fool you. Don’t take the news at its word. Dig deeper, choose multiple sources, and give yourself a good composite. Every source has an audience that they write for, if you know their audience you can predict the bias and trim the fat from the facts. I’m gonna get off my soap box now. I hope you enjoy this episode and have a happy and healthy New Year! Love, Sarge
Fri, December 27, 2019
La Llorona: Ladies in white, Period Jokes, and Sassy Snakes
Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal - Episode 24 – La Llorona: Ladies in White, Period Jokes, and Sassy Snakes https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer Welcome back to The Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal blog. In this episode we cover a weeping woman from South America who lives by water and steals your children, like an aquatic Madonna. We have a special guest, @its_me_your_mom or Ms. Tiffany if you’re nasty. Anyway, this story is crazy for a number of reasons but none of those reasons explain the snake tangent I went on. We also talk about Banshees which is like if Yoko Ono was a harbinger of death and not just the harbinger of Paul McCarthney’s worst music. Wings sucks and you can’t convince me otherwise. Anyway, while recording this episode, we discovered that Tiffany shouts a lot when she’s having her monthlies, Jordan is a loud eater, Maynerd’s cats think they’re parrots, and I suck at rolling my Rs. Oh and I guess there’s like 14 different countries that have a similar story to La Llorona which is a lot of places to have a shared folktale considering they all came about before the interwebs. While Jordan is a die-hard skeptic, I like to think that La Llorona is a manifestation of a shared fear of women in white dresses which is why it took so long for George Clooney to get married. That’s it from me, please enjoy the show and tell us what you think. If you can spare a dime or more than a dime, hit up the link at the top of the page so we can afford to keep making penis jokes. Love, Sarge
Thu, December 12, 2019
Lizzy Borden and The Bloody Hatchet Wounds
Episode 23 - Lizzy Borden and The Bloody Hatchet Wounds Donate here: https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer Welcome back to the CGS blog. This episode is not just a true crime story, it is the stuff of legends for anyone who grew up in Massachusetts. Lizzy Borden was accused of murdering her parents. The evidence seems overwhelming at first but once we analyze it, you’ll hear some incredibly reasonable refutations (I use big words sometimes, you guys). Anyway, this story is as fascinating as it is gross. We got poison, denim dresses, bloody hatchet wounds, old soup that everyone kept eating for some reason, and a fucked-up nursery rhyme which goes a little something like this: Lizzy Borden had an axe, She gave her mother 40 whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father 41. In researching this episode, we discover that Lizzy Borden was a pretty amazing woman. She was an avid reader even though she didn’t complete school. She was an early supporter of ethical treatment of animals. In fact, aside from her participation in the temperance movement which everyone from Massachusetts agrees is ill-advised, she was truly a woman ahead of her time. She also had a rough go of things. Her mom died when she was young and her dad was an exceptional piece of shit. While Lizzy stood out as a major suspect in the murders, I think everyone was a little quick to incriminate her while an obvious suspect got away. I won’t give too much away here but there is a lot more to this story than the nursery rhyme we all learned as a kid. I hope you enjoy the episode. It’s a bit longer than I expected which is something a woman has never said to me. I hope you enjoy it, which is something I’ve said a lot. If you liked the show, helps us out with a share, review, like, comment, or a donation via Venmo, Cashapp, or Patreon. Have a great day and please for the love of god, don’t eat old soup you guys. You will throw up. Love, Sarge
Mon, November 18, 2019
Episode 22 Crop Circles
Citizen’s Guide to the Supernormal – Episode 22 Crop Circles and Terrible Christopher Walken Impressions https://allmylinks.com/sargethedestroyer Welcome back to the CGS Blog. It’s our one-year anniversary and we’re knee deep in impeachment testimonies or witch hunt 2019, depending on where you get your biases from. We’re just sitting here in the middle while mom and dad are fighting. Much like when my parents fight, there’s no resolution and no matter the outcome, tomorrow everyone still resents me for being born. To distract myself from my childhood trauma and you from the embarrassment of the adult children in Congress, here’s an episode about CROP CIRCLES, the second biggest hoax in history depending on where you get your biases from. I love this topic. Big shout out to Banner from Twitter, where ever you are now, for giving us the subject matter. I went into this thinking it was a hoax and honestly, I don’t know anymore. I’m not going to blow the ending for you but one thing we all agreed on, this time, it wasn’t specifically Yetis. It’s nice to have a little mystery in our lives. Things are a little crazy in the world but whichever reality you subscribe to, it’s probably not ideal. At least the one we talk about in this episode leaves a nice looking end result, regardless. Love you! Sarge
Sun, October 27, 2019
Episode 21 - The One Where Jordan Speaks Welsh
Citizen’s Guide to the Supernormal Episode 21 The One Where Jordan Speaks Welsh www.Patreon.com/sargethedestroyer Welcome to the CGS Blog. We’ve been a little preoccupied lately but we finally got this one done. When I say we, I of course mean Maynerd. Anyway, we’d like to drop a big thank you to our special guest Summer or as she’s more infamously known, Brunette Bohemian. You know, the one with the hair and unhealthy obsession with New Kids on the Block? Yeah, that one. In this episode, we talk about a creature from just north of her homeland, The Loch Ness Monster. The second biggest pile of shit in the entire UK. Sorry if you’re a believer but this one couldn’t be any more disproven if they drained the damn lake. Having said that, there’s nothing more fun than an enduring mystery like Loch Ness, Big Foot, and whatever kind of monster enjoys candy corn. Everyone loves a little weirdness and Scotland sure loves it because they desperately need your tourist dollars. They aren’t exactly winning it with bag pipes and haggis. Frankly, it’s not unheard of to capitalize on nonsense to make money. There are men in Tibet who are actually designated “Yeti Witnesses”. Their only job is to convince guys like Maynerd that there’s a fluffy snow monster living high in the Himalayan mountains. I personally don’t think we have enough monsters. Every region of the US should have their own dedicated cryptid. Like a mascot. Massachusetts could have a lobster-man, Colorado could have a rock monster, and Florida could have… a naked guy throwing poop at an old folks home… on second thought that is way too normal for Florida but you get the idea. Anyway, shoot me a tweet @bastardprophet with your invented regional monster. My favorite ones will get a shout out on Episode 23 of CGS. Love, Your Friendly Neighborhood Sarge
Wed, September 25, 2019
Episode 20: Local Legends and Disappointing Pot
Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal Episode 20 Local Legends and a Disappointing Pot Well, here we are, Episode 20! Sorry it’s a little late but while editing, I deleted everything because I am a dumb stupid poopy head according to sources close to the matter. Anyway, we’ve come a long way (name of my sex tape, naturally). I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of you for listening and supporting our show. We are hitting our stride and we have made a lot of new friends. We can’t wait for the next few episodes coming out but in the meantime, we thought we drop an episode with a couple of different stories that weren’t quite heavy enough for their own show. Think of them as a little legends that could… but didn’t. Please drop us a review on iTunes, donate to our equipment and travel fund, or just tell someone that we exist. We are an independent show and we plan to keep it that way. Thank you for listening and thank you for reading. Respectfully, Sarge Instagram.com/sargethedestroyer Youtube.com/sargethedestroyer Patreon.com/sargethedestroyer
Tue, September 10, 2019
Episode 19: Possession is the mother of invention, probably?
Citizen’s Guide to the Supernormal Episode 19 Possession is the mother of invention, probably? Patreon.com/sargethedestroyer Youtube.com/sargethedestroyer Welcome back to the CGS blog, y’all. On this episode we cover possession. Specifically the possession of a young woman from 1675 in Colonial Massachusetts. Elizabeth was haunted by demons or more likely, not haunted by demons because demons aren’t real and neither is climate change. I’m kidding of course. Demons are very real. Just ask anyone who’s been to a methed out small town in Missouri… relax, I also believe that climate change is real and caused, in part, by cow farts in a hilariously sad turn of events. Anyway, possession is terrifying. Imagine, your body is invaded by horrible entities hell-bent on destroying everything that’s good. This must be what it’s like to attend a gangbang at a Q Anon convention. But in all seriousness, demonic possession is a terrifying concept, also like a room full of people who think Q Anon is real. We did some digging and Jordan provided some great research with the help of his Cuban body double and my badass brother-in-law. We have some theories but you’ll have to listen for all the gory details. What I wanted to talk about here is the idea of losing control. Some people wouldn’t necessarily be bothered by that but as a control freak, I can say unequivocally that a total loss of control is my number one fear, followed closely by spiders who can teleport. I know what your thinking but science is discovering new things all the time, you guys. Imagine you’re just laying on a bed. You can’t move. You can’t speak for yourself. Some terrible evil force is speaking and acting on your behalf. Everyone around you looks upon you with derision, fear, or pity. As much as you want to break free and refute the horrible things you hear, all you can do is sit back and watch as much of what defines you is chipped away by sentient malignance. I feel like a lot of us probably know what that’s like, more so now than ever before. Anyway, it’s a scary concept. On that depressing note, hope you like the show! Hugs and Kisses, Sarge
Tue, August 27, 2019
Episode 18- Guam got ghosts
Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal -Episode 18 Guam’s Got Ghosts Well, here we are at episode 18. This one took a long time to get released because I was working on a project in Atlanta. While I was there, I was supposed to be meeting some famous people but they mysteriously came down with a case of “We Were Lied To By A Total Jackass”. No harm done though. We made some awesome friends, we berated an 18-year-old boy to the point of tears, and learned that a woman can definitely sexually assault a man… multiple times… one time while we were filming her. Anyway, we recorded this one a while ago but we are just getting around to releasing it. Now that I know how to edit audio files, we expect to be releasing more regularly. This was a tough one so you better like it because I worked on this beast for a whole 4 hours on our brand-new, state of the art computer. It this episode, we talk about folklore from a distant land that is still under U.S. control for… reasons. We were joined by the lovely and talented Katrina. You can find her here: https://www.instagram.com/katrinathatsit/ or here: https://twitter.com/katrinathatsit. She told us about her family’s experiences, people with magic hair, and dudes with evil penises. It’s fun for the whole family, except your children. I cannot stress enough how important it is that your children do not listen to Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal. They will ask tough questions and lord knows you don’t want to answer them with a police officer present because your kid was telling everyone at show and tell about “Splitting a Tangerine” (See Dyatlov Pass Episode). Thanks for reading this, thanks for listening to us, and have a beautiful day. Love, Sarge
Tue, July 16, 2019
Episode 17- Betty And Barney Hill If You Love Brown And Green, You’re Going To Love New Hampshire
Episode 17- Betty and Barney Hill: If You Love The Colors Brown And Green, You’re Going To Love New Hampshire Welcome back to the CGS blog. This episode is the second part of Betty and Barney Hill’s incredible story. In the first episode we talk about what supposedly happened. In this episode we break down the aftermath. Barney Hill was a broken shell of a man when he passed away. Betty hung on to her story but as time passed, she became somewhat discredited due to her increasingly bizarre behavior. This abduction story brought both Betty and Barney nothing but misery. As I thought about their story, I began to think about the challenges of telling your story. As a veteran, there are few things worse than being suspected of stolen valor. For those who don’t know, stolen valor is the act of inventing military service or at least embellishing it. This isn’t a new phenomenon, it’s just a new name. History is littered with the stories of men who pretended to be something more than they were. My military service up until 2013 was unremarkable. I didn’t single handedly charge a bunker with nothing but an MRE spoon. I didn’t rescue hostages from an LA high-rise while fighting off terrorists with vaguely German accents. Until the day of the Boston Marathon Bombing, I assumed my career would end with a whimper, not a bang. After the bombing, I experienced a crazy chain of events that led to me receiving an award, along with 20 other soldiers, from the General of the Massachusetts Army National Guard. I wrote about it on www.thebrandedsports.com. I also took a picture of the award and the accompanying documents because I was certain that no one would believe me. Recently on Twitter, I was called a “fake ass veteran” by another vet. The fear struck me immediately. I was ready to drop pictures and documents. I was ready to call out names, places, and dates that only veterans would know. Then I stopped myself. There are enough people in the world who know who I am and what I’ve done. There are over 160 soldiers who knew my name because we worked together for years. Betty and Barney didn’t have that. They didn’t have pieces of alien technology. There were no cell phone images. There were no witnesses. All they had were foggy memories and their own unanswered questions. I think every single person in the US can identify with that feeling in one way or another. Regardless of your beliefs, you have experienced the specter of others doubting your sincerity probably more so now than at any other time in American history. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the episode. Sincerely, Sarge
Mon, July 08, 2019
Episode 16 Betty And Barny Hill: Abduction, Aliens, and Racist Mountain Names
Episode 16- Betty and Barney Hill: Abduction and Racist Mountain Names Wow I fucking loved this episode. We recorded with very small live audience of some really good friends of ours. We laughed, we cried, we broke someone by accident. I hope you like it as much as we liked making it. We picked this story for one reason, it was about alien abduction. I mean, we’ve covered some nightmare fuel in the past, mysterious deaths, randomly catching fire, Maynerd’s sex swing. However, all things considered, being abducted, paralyzed, and turned into a human sock puppet by some intergalactic pervert can fuck ALL the way off. I don’t even like the TSA and those weirdos only traveled like 3 miles from home to see my naked ass in that weird x-ray machine. Can you imagine how fucking weird you have to be to fly across the goddamn universe to play “hide the fist” in some unsuspecting mountain folks? We’re talking next level. Anyway, I don’t mean to make light of the very real belief that these two folks had that they were abducted. In some ways I am empathetic. In other ways, I can’t stop thinking about being strapped down and stabbed with needles through my belly-button. I know some people pay good money for that kind of action but count me out. From now on, when I’m driving up in the mountains, I got one hand on the steering wheel and one hand on a roll of tin foil. Apparently, nothing scares off the CIA, Aliens, and stable sexual partners like Reynold Wrap* (we’re shooting for a sponsorship). Thanks for reading, thanks for listening, and thanks for being Supernormal. Love Sarge https://twitter.com/@bastardprophet https://www.instagram.com/sargethedestroyer/ https://www.youtube.com/sargethedestroyer https://www.patreon.com/Sargethedestroyer
Fri, June 14, 2019
Episode 15 The Willey Family: Live Free And Die Horribly
CGS Podcast Episode 15- The Willey Family: Live Free and Die Horribly Welcome back the CGS Blog. It’s been a bit since we dropped an episode but we’re back like cooked crack, y’all. This week, we’re going all the way up to the great white north, AKA New Hampshire. We talk specifically about the tragedy of the Willey family who were killed in a mudslide. While this wasn’t a necessarily supernatural story, it is damn creepy. Imagine seeing a 60 mile an hour rush of mud 3 miles long coming at you. Now imagine there’s a flooded river in the other direction. Talk about nightmare fuel. There’s literally nothing you can do to stop it. It’s a big shit sandwich and regardless of which direction you head, you’re going to have to take a bite. Anyway, I won’t say too much more about the episode because I don’t want to ruin it for you. What I do want to do is thank you all for listening to us. This show is a labor of love and we couldn’t be more humbled by your support. Our following is small right now but we’re growing by the day. We have listeners tuning in from all over the world and that totally blows my mind. The best part of it all, is that Jordan, Maynerd, and I get to hang out, learn some new stuff, and laugh at ourselves. We hope it provides a bit of an escape for you as well. The world is full of bad news so we want to fill a little of your time with Dick News instead. I hope you like the show. If you have a moment, please give us a review on iTunes or buy a t-shirt from Branded Sports or farkletees.com/collections/sarge. Also, keep telling your friends about us and who knows, maybe one day, we’ll come do a live show near you. A guy can dream, can’t he? Thanks again, Sarge https://twitter.com/@bastardprophet https://www.instagram.com/sargethedestroyer/ https://www.youtube.com/sargethedestroyer https://www.patreon.com/Sargethedestroyer References: (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.climate4you.com/ClimateAndHistory 1800-1849.htm#1826: The Willey slide in Crawford Notch Communications, M. (1970, January 01). The Willeys and the Willey House. Retrieved from http://newhampshireadventures.blogspot.com/2008/11/willeys-and-willey-house.html Crawford Notch. (2018, June 20). Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crawford_Notch Mudslides Explained: Behind the Washington State Disaster. (2015, April 06). Retrieved from https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/03/140324-mudslides-natural-disasters-geology-science/ Eastman, T. (2017, August 04). White Mountain Chronicles: The Willey Slide of August 1826. Retrieved from https://www.conwaydailysun.com/news/white-mountain-chronicles-the-willey-slide-of-august/article_154de85b-73fb-531f-9417-8205adaf0007.html Hillwalking. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.mountaineering.ie/hillwalking/weather/part3/ The Willey Family Tragedy and a Painting Create White Mountain Tourism. (2019, May 04). Retrieved from http://www.newenglandhistoricalsociety.com/the-willey-family-tragedy-and-a-painting-create-white-mo
Wed, May 22, 2019
Episode 14- El Chupacabra: Lady-Gardens and The Worst Santa Ever
Episode 14- El Chupacabra: Lady Gardens and Evil Santa Hey everyone, we made a survey, we'd love your feedback, it's just 5 questions. https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/6J7BVYB Well here we are at episode 14. This is should be a light journey through the weirdness that is The Puerto Rican Yeti. The Chupacabra is a relatively new phenomenon as far as cryptids go. This legend can only be traced back to 1995. I find that fascinating. While I an a pretty firm skeptic, it’s always interesting to hear what people believe based on the limited evidence they’re provided. In this show we talk about all the possible explanations for what people have witness. As usual, this got me thinking. A lot of evidence is usually a solution to a problem, unless you’re a moron and still believe the Earth is flat. No evidence is good too. For the most part, no evidence of something solves it’s existence pretty consistently unless you’re a moron anti-vaxxer. However, where there’s a little evidence and there’s no way to corroborate it or test it scientifically, that’s when the real problem starts. I could try and explain this but it might be easier for me to give you an example of a personal experience of mine, so here goes… I used to attend Cub Scouts in a little church in Quincy Massachusetts. My father was my scout leader. After the meetings, he would hold meetings with the parents. I would play outside with some of the other kids while he held court. One winter night, I was having a snowball fight with my friend when we found some strange looking footsteps in the snow. They looked like regular tracks except for the tips of the foot. They looked like someone was walking barefoot. The snow had iced over due to light rain in the afternoon which then froze when the temp dropped again. Anyway, off in the distance, at the end of the foot prints, there was a large Elm tree. At the base of the trunk, there was a shape that looked very much like a body huddled against the tree. My friend and I were terrified. Our minds raced with the sinister possibilities. We immediately ran inside and got our fathers. It took our fathers roughly five seconds to ascertain that the form we saw was an inordinately large knot at the base of the trunk. The footsteps were harder to explain but my father is pretty smart. It turned out that the footsteps were nothing out of the ordinary. The reason they looked different was due to the rain. We discovered that not every footprint looked like it was from someone walking barefoot but the one I saw did appear that way. It turned out to be an effect caused by the rain. The drops fell and chipped away at the footprints. That night, I realized that out of context, what I saw was scary but with context, it was a perfectly normal experience. As I grew older, I referred back to that lesson many times. The hard truth is that our eyes and minds can deceive us. There’s no shame in that. It’s easy to be confident in what our minds tell us. Our whole view
Fri, May 03, 2019
Episode 13 - Spontaneous Human Combustion: That's Some Shoe...
CGS Blog Episode 13- Spontaneous Human Combustion This episode covers one of the craziest phenomenon in the world. It plays on the unthinkable fear of burning alive. The flames are inescapable. Do you suffocate? Do you burn alive? Is it a quick death? We just don’t know. There is really no consensus on whether Spontaneous Human Combustion (SHC), is even real. The only thing we know for sure is that the victims of SHC are nearly entirely consumed by flames while the room they’re in is virtually untouched. Much like every other episode, we don’t seek to solve the mystery of SHC. The purpose of our show is to make you laugh and to attempt to entertain you because let’s face it, 2019 is a crazy time. Competing terrorist ideologies are committing acts of unspeakable violence with uninvolved citizens being caught in the crosshairs. The nature of political discourse in the halls of government are as partisan as they are unreasonably uncompromising. There are very real villains attacking people on social media for no better reason than they have nothing better to do. We don’t want to be yet another voice telling you how shitty stuff is. You get that enough from everywhere else. We just want to give you an idea to play around with that isn’t thoroughly depressing. We want to be your biweekly escape from the bullshit of everyday life. Having said that, we also want to know what mysteries you’re interested in. What stories do you want us to cover? Down below this blog on www.thebrandedsports.com, is a comments section. Leave us a comment, telling us what you want to hear or just tell us how we’re doing. Thanks for reading and I hope you like the show. Respectfully, Sarge
Tue, April 09, 2019
Episode 12 - Maynerd's Ghost
In this Episode, we learn about Maynerd's haunted house. Episode 12, Maynerd’s Ghost http://www.youtube.com/sargethedestroyer https://www.patreon.com/Sargethedestroyer Welcome back to the CGS blog. Last episode was pretty dark. This episode takes a different route. We enlisted the help of Maynerd’s long suffering wife as she talked to us about the ghost that lives in their house. Naturally, we were concerned for the ghost’s emotional state given Maynerd’s affection for animal skulls. When we were talking about the episode, I couldn’t help but think about what scares us. I’m a pretty no nonsense kind of guy. I don’t believe anything without some fairly hard proof. However, there is something to be said for the human experience. No amount of science will convince someone who’s seen a ghost, that it wasn’t a ghost. Also, despite my skepticism, I can only say, I can’t prove that ghosts exist. What I can say, is that every spooky experience that I’ve had can be easily explained by a mix of pareidolia and environmental factors and they still scared the shit out of me. This is a pretty typical emotional response. Being scared of weird shit we can’t explain is how human’s survived in our early history. This was a time when a weird sound or the shadow seen in the corner of our eye was most likely a giant prehistoric monster, eager to satiate their hunger with your terrified ass. In 2019, we are the apex predator… unless you live in Australia where even the stupid duck-beavers are poisonous. However, our minds are still on the lookout for threats. Especially when we’re alone, which makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Human’s were pack hunters. We worked in teams to take down animals that would easily overpower just one of us. As a group we are safer. When we’re alone, we become intensely aware of our surroundings. This opens the door for heightened responses. When our minds are in overdrive, a cold breeze or creaking floor becomes something much worse than a drafty old house. It manifests in our mind as an intruder or worse yet, a malevolent wraith coming to … well, I guess that’s the real fear. We don’t quite know what a ghost would do to us, do we? Think about it, what would a ghost actually do to you? We just don’t know. That visceral fear has no end result. That’s what makes that fear so powerful. Maynerd’s ghost is not a malevolent spirit. At least, no one in that home feels that way. I can’t explain their human experience in any meaningful way. Frankly, it would be presumptuous of me to pretend that I had any grasp on what someone else felt, heard, or saw. Ultimately, everything that I know about the environmental factors of perceived supernatural experiences does nothing to change my response to them so I doubt it will change the experience for anyone else. After all, I’m only human and so are you… well, as far as I know. Enjoy the show, Sarge
Mon, March 18, 2019
Episode 11 - Hinterkaifeck: You're A Real Weirdo, Karen
This is a story about the horrible murder of an entire family... it's not an easy listen. Maybe don't make this your first episode with us... Episode 11- Hinterkaifeck Well, here we are at episode 11. I’m pretty excited about Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal and I hope you are too. I have no idea how many of you are reading this but I have to believe that it’s upwards of 8 people? Anyway, as we search for things that we think are worth of your attention, we go down some pretty weird rabbit-holes. Jordan is pretty relentless when searching for details and uses a number of sources. My job is host and blog-maker-guy (I’m a little skittish to use the term “writer” when referring to myself because that’s one step closer to corduroy sport coats with suede elbow patches). As my lofty title suggests, I am responsible for framing the show with an air of professionalism. In the interests of transparency, sources should be cited. In my efforts to get this show off the ground, I definitely skipped a step. Given my blog for episode 10 extolling the virtues of not taking someone’s word for it, I should have been more careful and maybe taken a little of my own advice. Going forward, links to our major sources will be included at the end of the blog so you too can now see why Jordan is slowly losing his mind. While we’re on the subject of citations and sources, let’s talk about misinformation. I have a love/hate relationship with the media. On the one hand, they provide an invaluable service to the American people in terms of shining a light on bad behavior and telling us about events that any concerned citizen should be aware of. On the other hand, the vast majority of media is, and always will be, a business. There is one purpose for a business and that purpose is to make money. In order to keep making money, they need consumers. There’s no secret that biases are evident in almost every major news source. This is not just because the people in the corner office are affiliated with one party or another. This is because there’s a certain kind of person who wants to listen to Rachel Maddow. There is an audience for Sean Hannity. These media companies do what they do because they are giving their customers what their customers want. Now stay with me, if I start a business, my goal will be to make money. I will have a business model and a target market which I will exploit to earn a profit. Now what if I discover that my sales go up when I tell my customers that doing business with me is a smart decision? Well, I’m going to tell my customers that they are smart even if they are currently drooling all over their “9/11 Was An Inside Job” t-shirt. Is it unethical? Hell yeah. Is it illegal? Nope. Every channel gives the people what they want. The problem is that when you prioritize giving the people what they want sometimes you forget to give them what they need. Back to my business. If I start telling the bozo with the Loose Change t-shirt that he’s a fucking dum
Wed, February 13, 2019
Episode 10 - The Bridgewater Triangle Part 2: #itssometimesyetis
Part two of our conversation on the weirdest area in Massachusetts. Episode 10, The Bridgewater Triangle: Yeti Boogaloo http://www.youtube.com/sargethedestroyer https://www.patreon.com/Sargethedestroyer At the start of this episode, my 9 year old daughter gives a pretty spot on definition of cryptozoology. After a brief description of what that word meant, she and I came to a pretty quick agreement on how she would define it for the show. You can’t put much past that kid. She had Santa figured out at six years old. People believe in some weird shit, you guys. A mayor in Puerto Rico was so convinced that Chupacabras were real that he and a posse of locals hunted for them. They patrolled the streets with loaded guns looking for something that no one is sure even exists. In Massachusetts, there is a guy, so convinced of the existence of bigfoot (yeti, skunk ape, sasquatch, ect.), that he led armed expeditions into the woods of Bridgewater Massachusetts, in hopes of… killing it, I guess? It’s not clear. While people might say, “who cares?” or “it’s harmless”, I have to respectfully disagree. In 2017, Edgar Maddison went into a pizza shop and discharged an round from his AR-15. He did this because some fucking moron told him that nefarious government officials, who were part of “The Deep State”, were molesting children in the basement of that restaurant. Aside from the fact that this shop didn’t have basement, the allegations are objectively insane. However, platforms like Infowars and other tentacles of the alt-sanity movement were convinced, so this dipshit decided to be a hero. The point I am trying to make, is that critical thinking is immensely important. If we take what we are being told and accept it as fact without filtering it through a lens of skepticism, we are libel to believe things that thoroughly preposterous. Let me ask you a question, which is more likely; a small predatory animal, never before seen on a relatively small island is sucking the blood out of goats and then vanishing into the night or an average run-of-the-mill animal corpse in an advanced stage of decomposition? One of these things is wildly insane and one of these things is highly probably in a tropical climate. The next time someone tells you a certain woman sold Uranium to Russia, google it. The next time someone tells you an entity of the Federal Government killed a sitting president because of … Something? Ask some questions. And the next time someone tells you that The Holocaust was a hoax, you have my permission to straight up kick that person in their genitals as many times as you’re comfortable with. Trust no one… except me and Anderson Cooper, that dreamy bastard. Love, Sarge
Wed, January 30, 2019
Episode 09 - The Bridgewater Triangle Part 1: The World's Okayest College
Part one of our conversation about the weirdest place in Massachusetts Episode 9, The Bridgewater Triangle https://www.patreon.com/Sargethedestroyer Welcome back to the CGS Blog. In this episode, we are discussing something near and dear to my heart, the weirdness that is Massachusetts. The Commonwealth has a checkered past, you guys. You’ll be hard pressed to find a more angry group of people than anyone who lives in this rocky, miserable hellscape with recently good sports teams. Unfortunately, being thoroughly annoyed by everything isn’t the only quality my home state has been saddled with. Massachusetts has a pretty nasty reputation for racism and it’s not without precedence. From the arrival of the pilgrims to the bussing crisis of the mid 70s, there’s been some really fucking shitty behavior from a state that holds some of the world’s most prestigious universities. I’m not going to get into why that might be because frankly, as any fan of this show is aware, I’m a goddamn moron. I only mention the racism because we discuss a shameful atrocity of early Massachusetts history known as King Phillip’s War. This war was fought by a number of tribes in Massachusetts, in an effort to oust the settlers of the Massachusetts Bay Colony. It was led by Chief Metacom, known to the settlers as King Phillip. The crux of the war rested on England imposing sovereignty on what was already a collection of sovereign nations. While tribes fought on both sides of this conflict, the fact remains that the English took lands away from the people who lived on them because they believed they were superior to the natives because… white folks, am I right? This is not a history lesson. This is not a social commentary. I’m not trying to come off as woke here. What I am trying to say, is that the racism didn’t end, it just changed its manifestation. There is a belief that part of the Bridgewater Triangle rests on an “Indian Burial Ground”. This trope is seen in a lot of scary stories. We might think it’s harmless but when you think about it, it’s pretty fucked up. Why are Native American burial grounds such a target for weird happenings? I know that other stories use settlements built on cemeteries as the explanation for supposed hauntings but how many times have you heard the term “Indian Burial Ground”? It just seems shitty to me. It’s not bad enough that the indigenous tribes of America were resettled, oppressed, and/or nearly wiped out, now their sacred lands are basically a punchline when shit goes sideways. “My pipes froze and my microwave caught fire, I swear this house is built on an indian burial ground”. Fuck that. I’m not trying to shame anyone but after talking through this episode, it made me realize just how casually we use terms that are rooted in racism, intentional or not. I don’t know how we fix it. Change takes a lot of time but it requires some effort on our part too. I’m certainly not perfect and I don’t think anyone else is. One thing is certain thou
Wed, January 16, 2019
Episode 08 - The Jamison Family: Ghost Bullets
On this episode, we cover the strange disappearance of the Jamison Family Episode 8, The Jamison Family Welcome back to the CGS Blog. In this episode, we talked about the disappearance of a family of three. As a father it always bothers me a little more when we find out that children are involved. Due to substantial decomposition, no one knows what happens to the family and for once I’m kind of relieved. I think, in a case like this, it’s easier not to know what happened in their final moments. Disappearances always capture people’s imagination. As I’ve said before people are problem solvers. Part of that problem-solving involves our ability to see patterns. A big short-circuit in our brains is that sometimes, we see patterns where none exist. This metal tick is called pareidolia. You know when someone sees Jesus in their toast or when someone sees a president in a huge, flabby, orange disaster? You can thank your brain being a dick. While pareidolia is most often associated with visual patterns our brains convert into faces, this can also lead to people creating patterns in other situations. For instance, Alex “Screaming Shirtless Ape” Jones could very easily be described as someone who exhibits signs of extreme pareidolia. He receives stimulus, like learning about fluoride in our water and assumes it’s turning frogs gay. While that’s not a typical response for normal human adults, it’s not without the realm of possibility that some people might make some leaps. I could use this as a segway to jump into the many conspiracies about this story but I’d rather take a different angle. Buckle up, I’m going out on a limb. Pareidolia is not an uncommon trait for certain mental illnesses. The most well-known portrayal of this is the movie, A Beautiful Mind. In it, Russel Crowe portrays a brilliant man suffering from severe schizophrenia. His illness causes him to see codes in the newspaper and cumulates with him inventing a massive conspiracy. It’s not just schizophrenia that claims signs of pareidolia. Drugs have been known to induce psychosis. Bobby Jamison was rumored to be involved in the meth trade which was booming in the part of Oklahoma that they lived in. Witnesses described him as “emaciated” before the family disappeared. Furthermore, Bobby had once asked his pastor if there were special bullets he could use to kill ghosts. Those aren’t the words of a healthy, rational mind. Finally, inside their abandoned truck was $32,000 in cash. Unless they were working on the dark web, drug dealing is a cash business. I am making some big leaps here and I know I sound crazy but no more crazy than ghost bullets. So what’s the point? The point is, pareidolia is something we deal with all the time. Look at the clouds and you might see a kitten riding a pony or you might see an elaborate gas powered sex toy depending on what kind of life you lead. In other cases, some people might look at the clouds and see the End Of Days. It’s a scary thought that some peo
Thu, January 03, 2019
Episode 7- Strange Rains: Meat Showers and The Gulf Stream
Episode 7, Meat Showers Welcome back to the CGS Blog. Last episode was heavy. We covered the horrors of the unknown and how it can lead to wild speculation. We talked about silent struggles and the darkest side of mental illness. This episode couldn’t be more different and yet it still maintains some elements of fear and the unknown. In the book of Exodus in the bible, there were 10 plagues. One of those plagues was a rain of blood. Another was frogs. This episodes covers both those things but don’t panic because neither one was particularly as serious as God’s lobbying firm dropping all manner of nightmares on an ancient people. Instead, we talk about the occurrences of strange rains around the world and what might have caused them. (Spoiler alert: WATER SPOUTS!) What struck me as so fascinating about this phenomenon, is that we are such an advanced society. We have answers for everything. A man made object is currently 4 billion miles from Earth as we speak, beaming back images of an icy bowling pin spinning in the vacuum of space. We can watch and track the progress of major storm systems. I can pick up a wireless block of plastic and glass and talk people thousands of miles away in an instant. Still, nature finds a way to confound us. We may know that a storm is coming but we can never be 100% sure that a shower of African frogs won’t accompany it. Strange rains are just a part of this story. The larger theme here, is that there will always be the unknown. We can try to explain our surroundings but sometimes, we just have to expect that some things are unknowable and that makes life infinitely more exciting. The only thing I would suggest is to buy a really sturdy umbrella. Happy New Year and enjoy the show. Sarge
Tue, December 18, 2018
Episode 6 - Elisa Lam: How Could This Day Get Any Worse?
This is our stand-alone episode exploring the mysterious death of Canadian student, Elisa Lam Welcome back to the CGS Blog. This episode was a brutal one. Elisa’s death is the epitome of a mystery. A young woman seen on tape behaving erratically is later found deceased and completely nude in a relatively isolated water tower. Almost as disturbing as her death, is what little we know about the days and weeks leading up to her demise. One major detail about Elisa that is known, is that she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression. This is something that affected me the most as I learned about her case. This is also what inspired this blog. Mental illness is a major problem in the United States. Access to mental health treatment is often not considered much of a priority. People who seek treatment face being stigmatized. As a veteran diagnosed with PTSD, I can say without question, that I have faced that stigmatization first hand but I have also lost too many friends to the darkness of PTSD to keep silent. There’s no secret that mental illness diagnoses are seemingly more common than even 20 years ago. There are some who would chalk this rise up to a “weak character” of the people who are diagnosed. There’s this school of thought that says, “they’re not unwell, they just need to get over it”. Others will suggest that therapists are quick to diagnose an illness to line the pockets of the pharmaceutical industry often referred to as “big pharma”. Still more react to people who are open about their struggles with a sort of silent discomfort, worried that this person is somehow unpredictable and possibly dangerous. In my lifetime, a number of prominent figures have come out publicly with their mental health struggles. Most recently, Pete Davidson of Saturday Night Live has very publicly struggled with Borderline Personality Disorder. Just days ago, Pete posted a message on Instagram that alarmed people because he hit an overwhelming moment of darkness. I recognized it immediately because I’ve been there. I don’t know Pete but I do know that many others don’t know him either. In spite of this, a mob of strangers had been encouraging him to kill himself. This is shamefully disgusting and sadly indicative of the ignorance and stigmatization people face when they are open about their struggles. Human beings are remarkably resilient. We can overcome so many of the challenges we face in amazing ways. However, when people are hurt and do not treat it, our bodies can only recover so much on their own. This is probably why, when someone has a fever, we tell them to take care of themselves. It doesn’t matter what you believe is causing the illness. They could have the flu, an upper respiratory infection, or something far more serious but we always say, “take care of yourself”. What is it about mental illness that doesn’t inspire the same response? Who cares if you think the person is being overly sensitive or in the depths of a very real struggle
Tue, December 04, 2018
Episode 5 - Salem Witch Trials Part 2: You're the One Drawing All the Dirty Pictures
Let’s start with a joke. A guy goes into a therapist’s office, “Doc, I think I might have a problem.” The therapist says, “Okay, have a seat. I’m going to show you some ink blot pictures. Tell me what you you see.” The guy sits down and the doctor shows him the first ink blot. “Well Doc, it looks like a man and woman having sex.” The doctor nods. “And this one?” The man gets even more uncomfortable. “Well, I think that’s a man having sex 3 women.” The therapist raises his eyebrow, “And what about this one?” The man, noticeably uncomfortable shifts in his seat, “Damn Doc, that’s a picture of a man in a gimp suit and a watermelon.” The therapist clears his throat, “Okay, I think you’re obsessed with sex.” The man gets angry and stands up. “Obsessed with sex? You’re the one drawing all the dirty pictures!” The Salem Witch Trials conjure up images of primitive minds terribly afraid of non-sensical superstition. People often look back at that moment in history with dismissive head shakes; lamenting the folly of an unenlightened and archaic society escaping persecution only to embrace it in a utopia of their own creation. On it’s face, they wouldn’t be wrong in assuming that. However, as with most things in life, the story is not that simple. McCarthy was an unremarkable freshman senator. He was desperate to make a name for himself. His invention of a perilous communist threat within the government at the time was nothing more than a shameless attempt to build his reputation. With little more that his word to go on, hundreds of lives were deeply affected by McCarthy’s modern day witch hunt. The Satanic panic had a more nebulous founding. While much can be said about “Michelle Remembers”, the most well known book about so-called “Satanic Ritual Abuse”, you can’t really point to any single asshole and say, “that guy started it”. There were a number of factors that brought about the nonsensical obsession with satanic crime. Conservative Christian values pushed by TV personalities such as Billy Graham, Jimmy Swaggert, Jim Bakker, Jerry Falwell, and Pat Robertson had ensnared Americans into believing there was a threat from the devil. Meanwhile, charlatans and buffoons with made up degrees from mail order universities did their level best to become experts in a phenomenon that didn’t actually exist. Finally, ignorance of Heavy Metal music and The Church of Satan provided smoke to the invented fire. These and other factors led to high profile cases like the McMartin trial and the wrongful convictions of Jesse Misskelly, Jason Baldwin, and Damian Eckles, known collectively as the West Memphis Three, in addition to many more less publicized errors in justice. Similarly, there were ulterior motives in the Salem Witch Trials. We will discuss some of these motives in the episode. What I want to end this blog on, is the undiscussed victims of these three horrible periods in American history. When all was said and done, a line was drawn between the known victi
Tue, November 20, 2018
Episode 4 - The Salem Witch Trials Part 1: The Devil's in the Details... and Glassware
This is Part 1 of our episode about the Salem Witch Trials. Episode 4, The Salem Witch Trials: This Actually What A Witch Hunt Looks Like. Welcome back to the CGS blog. This is another big episode for us. So big in fact that we had to make it a two part series. We originally decided on the idea for this show in mid-October because it was Halloween and we were feeling spooky. What’s spookier than archaic beliefs leading to mob mentalities and the death of innocent men and women based on ignorance and superstition? This, my friends, is a witch hunt. The word witch hunt has been thrown around a lot in the last two years. It’s not the first time in American history that this has happened. Many people saw similarities between the 1692 Massachusetts Bay colonies Witch Trials and the “Red Scare” of the late 1940 into the mid 1950s. The similarities were so great, in fact that legendary playwright, Arthur Miller took a cue from a German contemporary named Lion Feuchtwanger, who also drew correlations between the European Red Scare and the Salem Witch Trials (look up the play “The Devil In Boston”) and wrote his own allegory, titled “The Crucible”. For those of you who aren’t familiar, the Red Scare was period in American history when the fear of Communists infiltrating our government was at a fever pitch. This collective fear, led to notable Shitbag Joseph McCarthy claiming he had a list of 205 communist party member within the US Department of State. What he actually had was a blank piece of paper and a dream. More Recently, in the 1980s through the 1990s, we had another version of a witch hunt. This has been dubbed “The Satanic Panic”. Kicked off by the largely discredited book, “Michelle Remembers”, law enforcement agencies across the US took criminal activity and viewed it through a lens of “satanic ritual abuse”. This nonsense led to false witness statements coerced out of young children and false confessions forced out of people without the means to protect themselves from the onslaught of allegations, ruined reputations, and the weight of the federal, state, and local governments. You don’t have to take my word for it. Look up The West Memphis Three and the McMartin Trial for a glimpse into the lasting damage of religious fervor coupled with conmen and shear ignorance. This is not a political podcast. Naturally, we all have political leanings based on our own personal opinions. Speaking for myself, anyone who has heard me talk knows I am not an authority on any subject, especially with respect to the affairs of state. However, the term “witch hunt” inspires feelings of baseless accusations, ruined reputations, ruined lives, and even death. I think it’s important that we are careful when we use the phrase “witch hunt”. When we apply it to legitimate investigations that result in evidence based convictions, we dilute the meaning of the term and that is a disservice to the memory of everyone who has suffered as a result of these insidious, histo
Mon, November 05, 2018
Episode 3 - Dyatlov Pass: USSR You Ready For Part 2?
This is Part 2 of our Dyatlov Pass Episode. Episode 3, USSR You Ready For Part 2 Welcome back to the CGS Blog. In our last episode we discussed the gruesome deaths of 9 hikers, killed mysteriously deep in the Ural Mountains. Admittedly, the episode was a little dry. We covered the timeline and the people involved. Officially, we wanted to get the details out of the way so episode two could focus completely on the theories. In reality, we tried recording two shows in one night and let me tell you, it was a dismal failure. Sometimes, ambition gets the better of us so we decided to scale back our rate of production, rerecord episode three and hopefully make someone other than us laugh. Thanks for sticking with us. So, with that out of the way, here we are at our second part of Dyatlov Pass. There are loads of theories out there as to why these people died. There is even more speculation as the notorious secrecy of the Soviet Union clamped down on the story. If we have learned anything from the 24 hour news cycle in the United States, in the absence of facts, facts are created. Just as necessity is the mother of invention, a lack of information is the father of speculation. To date no one has definitively cracked this case and we are probably no closer to answers now than the Soviet investigators were then. Based purely on my own humble opinion, I have some idea as to why this enduring mystery is so hard to figure out. I believe that human beings are prolific problem solvers. The trick is, I believe that by nature, we often seek the simplest solution. This is beneficial when you need to figure out how to find a place to hide before a Mastodon stomps your prehistoric family into oblivion. However, when a problem becomes complex, like the brutal death of nine hikers with no smoking gun, it’s unlikely that there is a simple answer. Here we are, almost 60 years out, baffled by what the investigators of the time called “…an unknown compelling force”. Many people seek the simple answer, like military tests, ball lightning, or infrasound. Rarely do people consider a combination of ideas to find an explanation. In this episode, we explore the possibility that a number of contributing factors lead to one of the most compelling mysteries in Russian history. Full disclosure, CGS Podcast has one purpose, to entertain. We are not going to solve this mystery. We had no intention of it. There are people who have spent thousands of hours researching this topic. We had a few weeks. What you’ll hear in this episode is a collection of theories, what those theories mean, and what we think might have happened. Anyway, we hope you love the show. We hope you laugh. We hope you learn a little bit and if you feel like helping us out, by a t-shirt right here on www.thebrandedsports.com or subscribe to our Patreon at www.patreon.com/sargethedestroyer.
Tue, October 23, 2018
Episode 2 - Dyatlov Pass: USSR You Afraid of the Dark
This is part one of our Dyatlov Pass episode. It gets better. Episode 2: USSR You Afraid Of The Dark? If there is ever a searing indictment on the dangers of hiking, Dyatlov Pass is it. One guy fucking quit before it even started. The whole ordeal starts when 9 people enter the woods and it ends when no one survives. I don’t want to spoil the episode but that is a fucking understatement, you guys. In all seriousness, these poor victims succumbed to a horrible death and there is nothing funny about that. Believe me, we really tried to find some humor but I mean, this is just what happened to their fucking tent: Looks guys, as your friendly neighborhood War Vet, I feel compelled to impart some knowledge gleaned from my own personal experience because I’ve seen some pretty hairy situations. The first lesson you learn in those situations is to avoid things that are obviously trying to kill you, whenever possible. You don’t have to be a soldier to know that few things want you dead more than a Russian mountain in January. Along the way, multiple people told the leader of this group, Igor Dyatlov, “don’t go up that fucking mountain, dude” (not a literal translation). In spite of these dire warnings, Igor chose to lead his team to their untimely deaths. You’ll find that while we know how this group died, we will never know what killed them and that is why, nearly 60 years later, this story is so compelling. Add to it, some good old fashion USSR Iron Curtain cover-ups and hot damn, our imaginations running wild. In Episode 3, we’ll explore some reasonable theories and naturally, Maynerd will go off the rails. Hopefully, this time, it’s not Nazis. As a final note, in researching this story, I was reminded of all those who chose to do things that are dangerous for no better reason than, to quote Sir Edmund Hillary (first white guy to Climb Everest), “Because it’s there”. We often romanticize those willing to risk life and limb when they survive. Just as frequently, we speak of the dead in hushed tones. We revere them as heroes struck down in their prime. Seldom do we ask ourselves, “was it really necessary?” While Magellan was beheaded, because of him, someone still circumnavigated the globe (or flat disk, depending on whether you’re a moron or not). In this story, however, no major scientific breakthroughs would have been made. No rare species of animal were likely to be discovered. In all likelihood, nothing of consequence would have come from the completion of this bullshit vanity project, other than everyone at the Soviet Era mining factory rolling their eyes as Igor regaled them with stories about the time he wrote “War and Peace”, in the snow, with his rapidly freezing urine. So the next time, a guy like Felix Baumgartner does his level best to avoid turning into the world’s fastest, people-shaped crater or some dipshit tries to prove the earth is flat with a steam-powered-moron-missile, ask yourself, “was it really necessary”. Enjoy the show. Resp
Tue, October 09, 2018
Episode 1 - The Moon, The Myth, The Legend
This is the first episode of The Citizen's Guide To The Supernormal! In a dark, weirdly decorated south eastern Massachusetts basement, 3 people sat drunk and bleary eyed, considering the next step after the anticlimactic end of their first podcast. The sun had set for Misguided Musings after 50ish episodes. Jordan, Maynerd, and I were disappointed but not yet ready to give up on the possibility of continuing to entertain literally tens of people with humor, insight, and childish sexual references that aren’t safe for work and most Arby’s restrooms. Suddenly, Maynerd spoke up. “Can I pee in your back yard?” That’s when inspiration hit (looking back, I realize that these events are unrelated). The reason our last show failed, aside from leaving an already established network to create our own with disastrous results, was because we had no structure. While Seinfeld thrived on being a show about nothing, they were the exception to the rule. We needed an actual topic, actual research, and something actually remotely interesting. As Maynerd returned from defiling my wife’s vegetable garden, I noticed his t-shirt, emblazoned with a cartoonish depiction of a semi-nude Alex Jones making sweet love to a Yeti. I knew what our show was going to be about. Three months, and 14.8 million beers later, Citizen’s Guide To The Supernormal was born. The only thing we were missing was a network. Given our past failures, we knew we couldn’t go it alone. That’s when I met the team from Branded Sports and even though they had no reason to suspect I had any talent, whatsoever, they allowed my team and I the chance at marginal success. After a further seven months of negotiations, numerous fist fights, and two oddly erotic Donkey Shows that Maynerd insisted we attend for research purposes, we reached an agreement. Today’s release is the cumulation of a lot of hard work and dedication from our tireless producer, Jordan. He took 45 minutes of drunken rambling and made a show out of it. We’re excited to release our first episode, aptly titled “The Moon, The Myth, The Legend”. I hope you’ll give it a listen and if you like it, give us a review. If you don’t like it, that’s okay, lots of people don’t recognize brilliance right away. Thank you for your time and remember, anything is bite size of you’re committed to excellence. Love, Sarge
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