Betrayal is traumatic, and those who have been betrayed by partners living secret lives of sexual addiction deserve to be empowered and supported with knowledge and resources to allow them to move from shock through grief and into growth. On Betrayal Recovery Radio, our host, Dr. Jake Porter, lays out important topics for both sex addicts and their betrayed partners through conversations leading to hope and healing. Betrayal Recovery Radio is the official podcast of The Association of Partners of Sex Addict Trauma Specialists (apsats.org). Dr. Jake Porter can be reached at drjakeporter.com.
Thu, March 20, 2025
In a world where trust can be a fragile commodity, betrayed partners find themselves at a crossroads. Confronted with the painful aftermath of betrayal, many feel stuck and confused. They don’t want to be defined by betrayal but feel traumatized, confused and isolated. In Betrayal Trauma recover they embark on a courageous journey to break free from the shackles of hurt and deceit. Through resilience and unwavering determination, they choose to heal the wounds, not just of their hearts but quite possibly their relationships as well. These individuals become living testaments to the power of interdependence, clarity and truth, proving that even the most shattered hearts can be mended with patience, understanding, and the choice to heal. Links: www.apsats.org www.apsats.org/podcast www.drjakeporter.com www.drjakeporter.com/breakingbarriers Stacey Sadler Smith is a Licensed Professional Counselor, EMDR Certified Therapist and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Candidate. She is Chief Clinical Officer for Daring Ventures Counseling, Coaching and Consulting, LLC. Trainer for The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) Multi-Dimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). In this 4-Day training she teaches coaches and clinicians how to ethically treat partners of sex addicts who are suffering from betrayal trauma. Stacey is passionate about advocating for partners of sex addicts by helping them to find their voice. Stacey Sadler Smith is a Licensed Professional Counselor, EMDR Certified Therapist and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Candidate. She is Chief Clinical Officer for Daring Ventures Counseling, Coaching and Consulting, LLC. Trainer for The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) Multi-Dimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). In this 4-Day training she teaches coaches and clinicians how to ethically treat partners of sex addicts who are suffering from betrayal trauma. Stacey is passionate about advocating for partners of sex addicts by helping them to find their voice. This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health counseling, therapy, or medical advice. All views and opinions expressed by the hosts, guests, or participants are their own and do not necessarily represent the official views, policies, or positions of APSATS. APSATS does not endorse any specific treatments, interventions, or advice discussed in the podcast. Listeners should seek their own professional guidance
Thu, March 06, 2025
In PART 2 of this two-part episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, Dr. Jake Porter is joined by Pam Blizzard and Steph Farnsworth to tackle one of the most frustrating challenges for betrayed partners: when the betraying partner isn’t doing the work. Together, they explore the emotional urgency of healing, the disconnect between partners' expectations, and the deeper psychological dynamics at play. They discuss why some betraying partners seem stuck, how betrayed partners can navigate the frustration, and what real progress in recovery actually looks like. Whether you're feeling hopeless or just seeking clarity, this episode offers validation, insight, and actionable steps to help you move forward on your healing journey. Links: https://apsats.org https://drjakeporter.com https://drjakeporter.com/breakingbarriers http://recoveredpeace.com http://recoveredpeace.com/about-steph This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health counseling, therapy, or medical advice. All views and opinions expressed by the hosts, guests, or participants are their own and do not necessarily represent the official views, policies, or positions of APSATS. APSATS does not endorse any specific treatments, interventions, or advice discussed in the podcast. Listeners should seek their own professional guidance for personal health concerns.
Fri, February 28, 2025
In this two-part episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, Dr. Jake Porter is joined by Pam Blizzard and Steph Farnsworth to tackle one of the most frustrating challenges for betrayed partners: when the betraying partner isn’t doing the work. Together, they explore the emotional urgency of healing, the disconnect between partners' expectations, and the deeper psychological dynamics at play. They discuss why some betraying partners seem stuck, how betrayed partners can navigate the frustration, and what real progress in recovery actually looks like. Whether you're feeling hopeless or just seeking clarity, this episode offers validation, insight, and actionable steps to help you move forward on your healing journey. Links: https://apsats.org https://drjakeporter.com https://drjakeporter.com/breakingbarriers http://recoveredpeace.com http://recoveredpeace.com/about-steph This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health counseling, therapy, or medical advice. All views and opinions expressed by the hosts, guests, or participants are their own and do not necessarily represent the official views, policies, or positions of APSATS. APSATS does not endorse any specific treatments, interventions, or advice discussed in the podcast. Listeners should seek their own professional guidance for personal health concerns.
Thu, January 30, 2025
Welcome to Betrayal Recovery Radio. I’m Dr. Jake Porter, and today, I’m thrilled to be joined by the authors of Building True Intimacy, a powerful book that lays out a roadmap for restoring relationships after betrayal. In this episode, we dive into the journey of moving from devastation to a thriving partnership, and how to develop the "Intimacy Pyramid" as a practical tool for healing. We’ll explore the essential role of honesty, vulnerability, and intentional connection in rebuilding trust and creating emotional safety. Whether you’re navigating betrayal yourself or simply looking for tools to deepen intimacy in your relationship, this conversation is full of hope, encouragement, and actionable insights you won’t want to miss. Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors of the book Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time. They have over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth. Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy. Dan Drake is a licensed clinician, and he is the Founder and Clinical Director of Banyan Therapy Group in Los Angeles, California. He is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Supervisor, a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Supervisor, and a Certified Clinical Disclosure Guide Mentor. He is co-author of several books, including 5 books in the Full Disclosure Series, Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time, Letters from a Sex Addict: My Life Exposed, Surviving the Holidays, Healthy Boundaries, and Rebuilding Your Foundation. Dan is a husband and a father to two amazing kids and two fur babies. In his passion to help sex addicts, their partners, and families restore relational, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wholeness to their lives, Dan strives to provide a safe environment where his clients can grow and heal. Links for Dan, Matthew and Joanna: www.banyantherapy.com www.raabsmithteam.com/free <a href="https://a.co/d/inaH2Fp" target="_blank" rel="noopener nor
Sat, January 25, 2025
Welcome to Betrayal Recovery Radio. I’m Dr. Jake Porter, and today, I’m thrilled to be joined by the authors of Building True Intimacy, a powerful book that lays out a roadmap for restoring relationships after betrayal. In this episode, we dive into the journey of moving from devastation to a thriving partnership, and how to develop the "Intimacy Pyramid" as a practical tool for healing. We’ll explore the essential role of honesty, vulnerability, and intentional connection in rebuilding trust and creating emotional safety. Whether you’re navigating betrayal yourself or simply looking for tools to deepen intimacy in your relationship, this conversation is full of hope, encouragement, and actionable insights you won’t want to miss. Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors of the book Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time. They have over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth. Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy. Dan Drake is a licensed clinician, and he is the Founder and Clinical Director of Banyan Therapy Group in Los Angeles, California. He is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Supervisor, a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Supervisor, and a Certified Clinical Disclosure Guide Mentor. He is co-author of several books, including 5 books in the Full Disclosure Series, Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time, Letters from a Sex Addict: My Life Exposed, Surviving the Holidays, Healthy Boundaries, and Rebuilding Your Foundation. Dan is a husband and a father to two amazing kids and two fur babies. In his passion to help sex addicts, their partners, and families restore relational, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wholeness to their lives, Dan strives to provide a safe environment where his clients can grow and heal. Links for Dan, Matthew and Joanna: www.banyantherapy.com <a href="https://raabsmithteam.com/free" target="_blank" re
Fri, January 10, 2025
No one wants to prepare for a storm or consider the necessary steps to get to safety. Yet most would say they have a fire escape plan in their home for such an emergency. Most couples solely rely on the betraying partner’s relapse plan to find stabilization and repair. In the interview with Lyschel Burket, she invites betrayed partners to consider a plan for themselves in the aftermath of a slip or relapse. A plan allows the betrayed partner to find personal strength apart from the betraying partner's strength in order to navigate the storm. Connect with Lyschel: http://hoperedefined.org https://www.facebook.com/hoperedefinedsupport/ https://www.facebook.com/HopeForWives/ Links: http://apsats.org http://apsats.org/podcast http://drjakeporter.com/breakingbarriers This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health counseling, therapy, or medical advice. All views and opinions expressed by the hosts, guests, or participants are their own and do not necessarily represent the official views, policies, or positions of APSATS. APSATS does not endorse any specific treatments, interventions, or advice discussed in the podcast. Listeners should seek their own professional guidance for personal health concerns.
Fri, January 03, 2025
In this conversation, Jake Porter and Alana Gordon delve into the complex topic of consent, particularly in the context of betrayal trauma and sexual addiction. They explore the foundational aspects of consent, its importance in healthy relationships, and the challenges faced by individuals in understanding and practicing it. The discussion emphasizes the need for clear communication, enthusiastic participation, and the right to withdraw consent at any time. They also highlight the necessity of starting from the basics when teaching consent, especially in the context of past experiences and societal messages that may undermine it. In this conversation, Alana and Jake explore the critical themes of body autonomy, consent, and the importance of boundaries in relationships. They discuss how societal messages can shape our understanding of consent and the necessity of teaching children about their rights to say yes or no. The dialogue emphasizes the role of emotional awareness in recovery from addiction and the significance of building trust through open communication. They also touch on the impact of modeling healthy relationships for future generations and provide insights into the upcoming APSATS conference, which aims to educate and empower individuals in their healing journeys. Connect with Alana: TikTok Instagram YouTube Spotify Choose Recovery Services Links: http://apsats.org http://apsats.org/podcast http://drjakeporter.com/breakingbarriers This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health counseling, therapy, or medical advice. All views and opinions expressed by the hosts, guests, or participants are their own and do not necessarily represent the official views, policies, or positions of APSATS. APSATS does not endorse any specific treatments, interventions, or advice discussed in the podcast. Listeners should seek their own professional guidance for personal health concerns.
Thu, December 19, 2024
Adam Nisenson, known as the Betrayal Shrink, combines his extensive clinical skills with a deeply empathetic heart in his role as a Betrayal Trauma Coach. Licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Adam is dedicated to guiding men through the complex emotions and challenges of betrayal trauma. His methodology is deeply influenced by his intimate grasp of the trials faced by men confronting a partner’s infidelity. Leveraging his extensive clinical background and personal insights of being a betrayal partner himself, Adam creates a supportive and understanding environment, where clients are led through their journey of healing with compassion and wisdom. Holding a degree from Pacifica Graduate Institute with a focus on Marriage and Family Therapy, Professional Clinical Counseling, and Depth Psychology, Adam has committed his career to addressing critical issues such as betrayal, infidelity, sex addiction, and the myriad life challenges that accompany them. With Adam, the journey is not just about recovery; it's about embarking on a path of profound personal growth and rediscovery. Links: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com/breakingbarriers Find more on Adam: https://www.sanopress.com/books/mgtpb adam@betrayalshrink.com https://betrayalshrink.com https://www.instagram.com/betrayalshrink This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health counseling, therapy, or medical advice. All views and opinions expressed by the hosts, guests, or participants are their own and do not necessarily represent the official views, policies, or positions of APSATS. APSATS does not endorse any specific treatments, interventions, or advice discussed in the podcast. Listeners should seek their own professional guidance for personal health concerns.
Fri, December 06, 2024
Healing a relationship that is impacting by addiction, adultery, and betrayal requires hope. Many couples find themselves feeling hopeless after discovery and struggle to imagining having hope again. Hope is an anchor that keeps us grounded in our values and reality. This empowering discussion will offer tools on how to cultivate hope and build strength amidst the recovery journey. Andrea Rogers is a board certified life coach and a certified partner coach with APSATS. Andrea is the founder of Fully Alive Coaching, a practice that was birthed out of her own recovery journey from the impact of betrayal. In addition to coaching, Andrea is Brainspotting practitioner, podcast host of "Blow the Whistle", a writer, and a speaker. She has dedicated her life to helping others "wake up" and experience all that life has to offer. Through her practice, Andrea helps people go on the journey from hurting, to healing, to wholeness. She works with men, women, and couples who desire to move from a life of fear and scarcity to courageous living and abundance. Andrea has over twenty years of coaching experience and has spent the last ten years committed to helping those in the areas of problematic sexual behavior and betrayal trauma. When she is not coaching clients, Andrea is spending time with four of her favorite humans, also known as her children. Fully Alive Coaching Facebook Fully Alive Coaching Instagram APSATS Website Free Gift Download! Get my new book! This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health counseling, therapy, or medical advice. All views and opinions expressed by the hosts, guests, or participants are their own and do not necessarily represent the official views, policies, or positions of APSATS. APSATS does not endorse any specific treatments, interventions, or advice discussed in the podcast. Listeners should seek their own professional guidance for personal health concerns.
Mon, November 25, 2024
Cat Etherington is the Director of Recovery for Naked Truth Project, an international ministry opening eyes and freeing lives from the damaging impacts of pornography and other problematic sexual behaviors. Cat is a certified professional life coach and integrative therapist, working with individuals and couples impacted by problematic sexual behavior and betrayal. The first ever European practitioner to be certified by the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) Cat now serves on their Board of Directors and delivers their clinical training and has become a vocal and passionate advocate for the experience of betrayed partners. As a betrayed partner herself, Cat will share insights on the topic of shame and healing after betrayal. She will illuminate the ways in which the experience of trauma can make way for post traumatic growth and healing that lead to a solid sense of self and identity, sharing from her own personal story as well as her clinical and coaching experience. She will also suggest some specific tools that help to manage shame and lead towards fierce self compassion. Links: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com http://drjakeporter.com/breakingbarriers Find more about Cat here! Apologies for the late upload here, there we some technical difficulties when uploading to Spotify! This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health counseling, therapy, or medical advice. All views and opinions expressed by the hosts, guests, or participants are their own and do not necessarily represent the official views, policies, or positions of APSATS. APSATS does not endorse any specific treatments, interventions, or advice discussed in the podcast. Listeners should seek their own professional guidance for personal health concerns.
Thu, November 07, 2024
In this episode of *Betrayal Recovery Radio*, Dr. Jake Porter hosts a discussion with Pam Blizzard and Steph Farnsworth, exploring the complex layers of relational abuse within the context of betrayal trauma. They define relational abuse as a covert, disempowering experience, highlighting how behaviors like gaslighting and manipulation compound the pain of betrayal, creating a "double abuse" effect. Together, they discuss the challenges betrayed partners face in reclaiming their sense of reality and autonomy, while also offering hope for healing through boundary-setting, group support, and personal empowerment. For betraying partners, the episode offers insights into developing empathy and understanding the importance of transparency. This episode is a resourceful guide for both partners navigating the path to relational healing. Links: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com http://drjakeporter.com/breakingbarriers http://recoveredpeace.com http://recoveredpeace.com/about-steph This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health counseling, therapy, or medical advice. All views and opinions expressed by the hosts, guests, or participants are their own and do not necessarily represent the official views, policies, or positions of APSATS. APSATS does not endorse any specific treatments, interventions, or advice discussed in the podcast. Listeners should seek their own professional guidance for personal health concerns.
Fri, November 01, 2024
In this episode of *Betrayal Recovery Radio*, Dr. Jake Porter hosts a discussion with Pam Blizzard and Steph Farnsworth, exploring the complex layers of relational abuse within the context of betrayal trauma. They define relational abuse as a covert, disempowering experience, highlighting how behaviors like gaslighting and manipulation compound the pain of betrayal, creating a "double abuse" effect. Together, they discuss the challenges betrayed partners face in reclaiming their sense of reality and autonomy, while also offering hope for healing through boundary-setting, group support, and personal empowerment. For betraying partners, the episode offers insights into developing empathy and understanding the importance of transparency. This episode is a resourceful guide for both partners navigating the path to relational healing. Links: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com http://drjakeporter.com/breakingbarriers http://recoveredpeace.com http://recoveredpeace.com/about-steph This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health counseling, therapy, or medical advice. All views and opinions expressed by the hosts, guests, or participants are their own and do not necessarily represent the official views, policies, or positions of APSATS. APSATS does not endorse any specific treatments, interventions, or advice discussed in the podcast. Listeners should seek their own professional guidance for personal health concerns.
Fri, October 25, 2024
In recent years, the demand for "intensive treatment" has increased, as more and more betrayed partners seem methods of accelerating their healing process. Though relatively new to the field of professional counseling and coaching, intensives have become keystone elements of some individuals' recovery journeys. In this episode, Dr. Jake is joined by APSATS Board Member Aarti Chidambaram to discuss what intensives are and how they can benefit betrayed partners. Links: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com https://www.therelational.com/staff/Aarti http://instagram.com/discovery_to_recovery This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health counseling, therapy, or medical advice. All views and opinions expressed by the hosts, guests, or participants are their own and do not necessarily represent the official views, policies, or positions of APSATS. APSATS does not endorse any specific treatments, interventions, or advice discussed in the podcast. Listeners should seek their own professional guidance for personal health concerns.
Fri, October 18, 2024
Advances in neurotherapy now allow specialized clinicians to take much of the guesswork out of understanding and working toward healing for those affected by trauma. APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Laura Childers is just such an expert, using cutting edge technologies to look into the brains of betrayed partners and recovering addicts in order to better diagnose and device treatments for deep change. Join this fascinating conversation between Dr. Jake and Laura as they discuss how neurotherapy can open new pathways to health and restoration for betrayed partners. Links: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com https://houstonneurosolutions.com/ This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional mental health counseling, therapy, or medical advice. All views and opinions expressed by the hosts, guests, or participants are their own and do not necessarily represent the official views, policies, or positions of APSATS. APSATS does not endorse any specific treatments, interventions, or advice discussed in the podcast. Listeners should seek their own professional guidance for personal health concerns.
Fri, December 15, 2023
In today's episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, we delve into the complexities of the holiday season, a time filled with joy but often marred by the challenges of betrayal trauma. Joined by Rebecca Ray, we'll navigate the delicate dynamics faced by those affected by betrayal, whether as the betrayed or the betrayer. Rebecca Ray is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, licensed in Texas, Colorado, Missouri, and Florida and owner/founder of Ray Family Therapy in Houston, Texas. Rebecca is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Certified Clinical Partner Specialist, and certified in EMDR therapy. Rebecca is married, has three children ages 18, 14, and 9. In her free time, she loves reading, hiking with her dog, and when it isn't too hot she does HIIT workouts in her garage. In January, Ray Family Therapy will offer training to therapists and coaches to develop practical skills working with adoptees and adoptive families; Treating Adoptees and Adoptive Families Across the Lifespan. As an adoptee, Rebecca understands first-hand the trauma experienced in foster care and the adoption process. Additionally, Rebecca wrote an ebook, The Ultimate Guide for Creating a Healthy Relationship, to help couples get off autopilot and into the core awareness of their core needs and desires. Links to find Rebecca: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rayfamilytherapy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rayfamilytherapy LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/rayfamilytherapy LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/rebeccaraytherapist Ray Family Therapy: www.rayfamilytherapy.com Ray Family Therapy Adoption Training: https://www.rayfamilytherapy.com/adoptiontraining To download The Ultimate Guide for Creating a Healthy Relationship go to: https://keap.page/ivx304/creating-healthy-relationships.html
Thu, October 26, 2023
In this interview I share the results of my Masters thesis which show that rates of domestic violence are considerably higher in the lives of partners of sex addicts than in the general population. This is significant because women are arriving daily on therapists’ doorsteps seeking help for betrayal trauma, but with their experiences of DV under recognized and under disclosed. Moreover the study looked into what factors were associated with more frequent violence and damaging types of violence (i.e., physical and sexual) and what factors were associated with violence mitigation. Links to find Lisa! https://beyondbetrayal.community https://nakedtruthproject.com/get-help/ 2024 Daring Way Retreats: https://go.drjakeporter.com/daringway2024?r_done=1
Thu, October 05, 2023
Welcome to another thought-provoking episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, hosted by Dr. Jake Porter. In this engaging installment titled "Navigating Betrayal: Answering the Hard Questions with Conversations Podcast," we delve deep into the complex landscape of betrayal within relationships. Joining Dr. Jake in this enlightening discussion are esteemed colleagues: Wendy Conquest, Dan Drake, Jeanne Vattuone, and Tim Stein. These experts are not only colleagues but also close friends who co-host the Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships Podcast. Their chemistry is palpable, and their wisdom profound. In this episode, we confront the challenging questions frequently posed by those grappling with the revelation of betrayal in their relationships. You'll witness a civil and enlightening exchange of perspectives, showcasing the power of dialogue and empathy in navigating the intricate web of betrayal. Links in this episode: Check out Conversations!: https://open.spotify.com/show/2ZpYca91XJ0DIkTt2CCjSZ https://podcasts.apple.com/is/podcast/conversations-on-sex-addiction-and-relationships/id1576738924 Dan Drake: https://www.banyantherapy.com Wendy Conquest: https://wendyconquest.com Jeanne Vattuone: https://jeannevattuone.com Time Stein: https://timsteinmft.com Jake Porter: https://go.drjakeporter.com/?r_done=1
Thu, August 31, 2023
Often when doing couples recovery work, the approach is from a neurotypical lens following betrayal trauma and sex addition. This may work for many couples, but what about when these approaches aren’t working for the long term healing of the relationship? Many couples share that it can be frustrating and discouraging especially when both partners in the couple ship desires growth and change. We are going to be talking about another lens and perspective to consider when one or both partners are autistic, have Asperger traits, or wonder if they may be on the spectrum. We will be: • Recognizing this may be a consideration to explore • Understanding the impact on healing and recovery • Moving forward with adjustments and unique tools Navigating The Depths Summit: navigatingthedepths.com
Fri, August 18, 2023
In this podcast episode, we explore the Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training (BTRL), a customized program designed for professionals within religious and faith-based communities. Our interview with Aviva Kohl and Barbara Steffens uncovers the core of BTRL, focusing on the APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). Attendees learn to provide response, assessment, and support to those experiencing betrayal trauma, incorporating faith into their approach. The four-day training, supplemented with mentorship groups, equips participants with the skills needed to serve their religious community, emphasizing empathy and understanding, and enabling various religious organizations, non-profits, and clinicians to address betrayal trauma within their specific faith setting. Links: https://www.apsats.org/BetrayalTraumaReligiousLeader http://www.apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com
Thu, August 10, 2023
Sex addiction and betrayal doesn't have to take your parenting to new lows. In fact, by focusing on your core values you can realign your efforts to breathe new life into your parenting. People wonder what to tell the children and how to become a "family in recovery." It is possible to achieve peak parenting by recognizing your weak spots and using tools to combat the things that are pulling you into defeat. Join us as we discuss how to navigate the road of recovery while reaching new, more meaningful connections with your children. Believe it or not, your family relationships can blossom and flourish during this time. Windell Gill interviews Stacey Sadler for this impacting session.
Sat, August 05, 2023
When your partner has a sexual addiction, acting out comes with the territory. Dealing with it is hard, even learning about it can be traumatic. But what about the behaviors INSIDE the relationship? How do you recognize and respond to inappropriate treatment from a partner? How do you become personally and relationally healthier when at least some of the trauma you find yourself experiencing is due to your partner's behavior inside the relationship? Whether overt or covert, whether emotional, psychological, sexual, or physical- considering the health of the patterns within the relationship can add another layer of complexity when looking at partnerships struggling with sex addiction. And yet, it is so necessary to take a deeper look at what is happening in order to really understand and serve women and men impacted by addiction. Links to find Kim: www.onesafespace.com (Safe Space Facebook page is: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100082947741547) kim@lifechangingservices.org or kimssafespace@gmail.com
Thu, July 27, 2023
In this episode, the Dr. Jake and Pam Blizzard delve into the realm of cognitive distortions often experienced by partners post-betrayal. They explore how trust erosion affects perception, leading to misconceptions such as overgeneralization, emotional reasoning, and catastrophizing. Real-life stories illustrate these distortions, while expert Jake and Pam offer practical advice for overcoming them. The discussion provides insight into how such distortions can sabotage relationship recovery and suggests strategies for fostering communication, understanding, and healing post-betrayal. Links in this episode: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recoveredpeace/?hl=en Self-paced course on Cognitive Distortions: https://recoveredpeace.com/clarity Group Coaching: Clarity and Peace with Boundaries for betrayed partners: https://recoveredpeace.com/learnboundaries Website: https://RecoveredPeace.com Facebook Group Peer Support for Betrayed Spouses in Recovery: https://www.facebook.com/groups/recoveringspousesofsa/
Fri, July 21, 2023
In this episode, the Dr. Jake and Pam Blizzard delve into the realm of cognitive distortions often experienced by partners post-betrayal. They explore how trust erosion affects perception, leading to misconceptions such as overgeneralization, emotional reasoning, and catastrophizing. Real-life stories illustrate these distortions, while expert Jake and Pam offer practical advice for overcoming them. The discussion provides insight into how such distortions can sabotage relationship recovery and suggests strategies for fostering communication, understanding, and healing post-betrayal. Links in this episode: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/recoveredpeace/?hl=en Self-paced course on Cognitive Distortions: https://recoveredpeace.com/clarity Group Coaching: Clarity and Peace with Boundaries for betrayed partners: https://recoveredpeace.com/learnboundaries Website: https://RecoveredPeace.com Facebook Group Peer Support for Betrayed Spouses in Recovery: https://www.facebook.com/groups/recoveringspousesofsa/
Thu, July 13, 2023
The field of Sex Addiction has grown and expanded immensely over the last two decades, and as a result the field has a much greater understanding of not only the betraying partner but the betrayed. However, those who were in early childhood, perhaps teens, two decades ago have since grown into adulthood. As a result the sex addiction field is rapidly picking up pace in gaining an understanding of what the effects were on the children of these addicts. In this interview we hope to address hard questions, like, "How could a parent's sex addiction or betrayal effect a child who might not have known what was going on?" We will also debunk some common myths, such as, "My children knew everything, so they have processed it all." Conrad and Kathy Reynolds interview Carley Pool for this powerful and important session.
Thu, July 06, 2023
The field of Sex Addiction has grown and expanded immensely over the last two decades, and as a result the field has a much greater understanding of not only the betraying partner but the betrayed. However, those who were in early childhood, perhaps teens, two decades ago have since grown into adulthood. As a result the sex addiction field is rapidly picking up pace in gaining an understanding of what the effects were on the children of these addicts. In this interview we hope to address hard questions, like, "How could a parent's sex addiction or betrayal effect a child who might not have known what was going on?" We will also debunk some common myths, such as, "My children knew everything, so they have processed it all." Conrad and Kathy Reynolds interview Carley Pool for this powerful and important session.
Thu, June 29, 2023
In the second part of this moving interview, Dr. Jake asks Fran Hopwood to reflect on the healing and recovery journey that she and her late husband Richard followed over the last nine years. The focus will be on Richard and his story of transformation and growth as an individual and as part of a coupleship. Richard's early problematic sexual behaviour re-emerged with the advent of broadband internet. After Fran's D-Day in 2013, Richard started his journey of recovery. Early on he realised this was more than just maintaining sobriety. He was committed not only to addressing the root causes of his addiction and the behavioural effects of his dysfunctional childhood, but also to learning how to help Fran heal, to rebuild their relationship, and to continue his own personal growth journey. Gradually he became able to open up and share his secrets so that they were able to fight their respective trauma demons together. Richard took full responsibility for his actions and fully embraced recovery so that they could build a fuller and deeper relationship, increasing intimacy at all levels, especially emotionally and spiritually. They were deliberate in creating new memories and in making the most of moments of joy. As part of his post-traumatic growth, Richard was deeply committed to supporting other men in recovery gain freedom and growth.
Thu, June 22, 2023
In this moving interview, Dr. Jake asks Fran Hopwood to reflect on the healing and recovery journey that she and her late husband Richard followed over the last nine years. The focus will be on Richard and his story of transformation and growth as an individual and as part of a coupleship. Richard's early problematic sexual behaviour re-emerged with the advent of broadband internet. After Fran's D-Day in 2013, Richard started his journey of recovery. Early on he realised this was more than just maintaining sobriety. He was committed not only to addressing the root causes of his addiction and the behavioural effects of his dysfunctional childhood, but also to learning how to help Fran heal, to rebuild their relationship, and to continue his own personal growth journey. Gradually he became able to open up and share his secrets so that they were able to fight their respective trauma demons together. Richard took full responsibility for his actions and fully embraced recovery so that they could build a fuller and deeper relationship, increasing intimacy at all levels, especially emotionally and spiritually. They were deliberate in creating new memories and in making the most of moments of joy. As part of his post-traumatic growth, Richard was deeply committed to supporting other men in recovery gain freedom and growth.
Thu, June 08, 2023
"What if my husband won't see a therapist?" "When should we start having sex again?" "Why is he sober but still not connecting?" In this episode, Dr. Jake interviews the hostesses of the Hope for Wives podcast — Lyschel Burkett, Bonnie Burns, and Pam Blizzard. The three women are able to balance a plain-spoken, no-nonsense telling of the truth with compassion, support, and wisdom. Drawing from both their personal experience and professional expertise, Lyschel, Bonnie, and Pam take on hard questions Dr. Jake has received from betrayed partners of sex addict. You won't want to miss this informative and hope-giving episode! Links in this episode: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com https://hopeforwives.com/ http://hoperedefined.org http://strongwives.com http://recoveredpeace.com
Thu, May 04, 2023
Over the last two decades, the way mental health professionals understand and treat the experience of betrayal has radically shifted from an emphasis on co-addiction and codependency to an embrace of the traumatic nature of intimate betrayal. In this conversation with Stacey Sadler, Cheryl Rogers, and Kathy Reynolds, they reflect both personally and professionally on this evolution and discuss how neglecting the treatment of betrayal trauma has consequences not only for the betrayed partner, but also the entire family system. Modalities for treating this trauma are discusses, as well as a paradigm for seeing betrayal trauma treatment as a matter of justice. Stacey, Cheryl, and Kathy are teaming up to provide a brand new program for betrayed partnered, Returning to You™. They give a preview of this unique therapeutic retreat designed from the ground up for betrayed partners to address their trauma. If you are interested in the Returning to You™ Partner Program, use the link below. Mention that you heard about the program on APSATS Betrayal Recovery Radio to receive a 5% discount on the cost of the retreat. http://apsats.org http://daringventures.com/returningtoyou http://drjakeporter.com
Thu, March 23, 2023
Grief: The sticky middle piece of the betrayal recovery experience and the place many partners and couples get stuck. It seems that many in Western culture have lost the intuitive communal mourning processes that are still so common in other cultures. We have individualized and privatized our grief and mourning into a strictly personal affair. But there is so much value in the shared and collective experience of mourning, the knowing and being known of letting it be seen. Join Cat and Jake as they explore the value of communal mourning and discuss ways to share the grief experience between couples and communities. Links in this episode: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com https://www.nakedtruth.training/wholehearted-retreat-Texas https://www.nakedtruth.training/wholehearted-grief-retreat-Australia https://www.nakedtruth.training/couples-retreat-texas http://www.nakedtruthproject.com Discount codes for retreats: $100 USD off US grief retreat using code - RET100USD $100 AUD off Australian grief retreat using code - RET100AUD $200 USD off couples retreat using code - RETREAT200USD
Thu, March 16, 2023
Carol the Coach returns to Betrayal Recovery Radio to share more about how to heal from betrayal. In this conversation with Dr. Jake, she focuses on the stages of healing from betrayal trauma and also goes deep into the topic of posttraumatic growth. Carol also gives a sneak peak into her upcoming keynote at the Restoring Hearts Conference. Links in this episode: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com http://chooseconnectionsummit.com http://RestoringHeartsConference.org http://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com
Thu, March 09, 2023
We are inherently social beings. Our brains are wired to connect, and when we feel disconnected, we struggle. If we feel isolated, our chances of having some type of psychiatric diagnosis increases. In the brain, the mirror neuron network helps us to understand subtleties in social, emotional and linguistic interchanges. The extended mirror neuron network helps us to interpret these subtleties. If our mirror neuron system is dysregulated, we struggle with being able to connect in an authentic and emotionally vulnerable way, and therefore, we can struggle with an inner loneliness. Laura Childers and her team are working to regulate the mirror neuron system on the brain level in order to decrease the recovery time of sex addiction and partner betrayal trauma. This interview between Dr. Windell Gill and Laura Childers will go over the areas of the brain that help us to connect, as well as ways that we are treating the brain and therefore, increasing empathy and the ability to authentically connect with emotionally vulnerability. Links mentioned in this episode: http://apsats.org http://chooseconnectionsummit.com http://daringventures.com/laura http://daringventures.com/windell
Thu, March 02, 2023
The aftermath of betrayal can put all of our relationships into question. Secrecy, confusion, fear of judgement, and shame can lead to the loss of long time relationships as a woman sorts through her pain and tries to make sense of her reality. Join us as we talk with Lyschel Burket, Lead Hope Caster for Hope Redefined and podcast co-host for Hope For Wives. She will talk about the unexpected gift that comes when we are able to find community that can walk in the mud with us in this particular season. Suddenly they become new friends that were very much needed. Links in this episode: http://apsats.org http://go.drjakeporter.com http://hoperedefined.org
Thu, February 23, 2023
In marriages and intimate relationships affected by sexual addiction, it is not uncommon for emotional abuse be present. Sometimes the abusive behaviors can increase with more intensity when the one struggling with the addiction becomes "sober" but is not fully committed to recovery. These behaviors are often maladaptive coping mechanisms fueled by shame and stemming from unhealed trauma. Many do not realize they are engaging in these unhealthy coping skills. Also, their intent is not to hurt, but the impact is often devastating. Defining forms of emotional abuse and the damaging effects it can have in marriages where problematic sexual behavior is or has been present is necessary to help bring light to this issue and also to find hope and healing for both partners. Links in this episode: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com http://www.becomingshatterproof.us http://www.facebook.com/becomingshatterproof
Thu, February 16, 2023
While GASLIGHTING is now a pop-culture buzz word, AND Merriam-Webster's word of the year, a lot of what is out there is either misinformation, or incomplete information. The result? A LOT of people are incorrectly slapping the label of gaslighting on to situations that are actually NOT a gaslighting experience. The overuse of the word has left most of us with MORE questions than answers. Let's take a few situations and look at whether or not gaslighting is occurring, and if not — why not! Dr. Jake is joined in this episode by Sarah Morales, CPC. Sarah is an APSATS certified life and relationship coach and member of the APSATS Board of Directors who has been coaching individuals and groups professionally for 10 years. During that time, she has contracted with numerous helping professionals, spoken at national conferences, and been invited to speak on podcasts, all from the lens of her gaslighting expertise. In 2022, her gaslighting specialty culminated in her Deconstructing Gaslighting™ offerings: a free video series, signature 12-week course and podcast – all aimed at empowering others to better understand and identify gaslighting in their lives and relationships. Sarah’s passion to empower others to transform their lives fuels her work with her clients and pushes her to continue developing new programs on the cutting edge of helping others grow to know, trust, and love themselves more than they knew was possible. Links in this episode: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com http://sarahmoralescoaching.com
Thu, January 26, 2023
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains content that could be upsetting or painful to individuals at particular points in their journey to healing from trauma. Please honor your intuition about whether this is the right time for you to engage this episode. Discovering the specifics of your partner's sexual fantasies or behaviors can be devastating and disturbing. However, fantasies don't have to be scary. Sexual fantasies lose much of their power when you can understand the story behind them. We'll dive into how sexual fantasies work, the three storylines of every sexual fantasy, and four practical steps for what to do with sexual fantasies. Links for the show: http://apsats.org http://go.drjakeporter.com http://husbandmaterial.com https://www.youtube.com/husbandmaterial https://podcast.husbandmaterial.com/
Thu, December 08, 2022
(Part 2 of 2) "Family of Origin" is the term used in counseling work to refer to the relational systems into which we were born and raised. Our families of origin leave lasting impacts on us all. They are the source of so many of our most basic ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. A crucial step in healing for all people is to gain an awareness of our families of origin. This awareness takes us outside our biased perspective as participants and gives us the view of an outside, unbiased observer. When we come to see our families of origin more clearly, we also see more clearly our own identity, strengths, challenges, drives, and defenses. With this awareness, we can unlock a sense of freedom from old patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that have kept us imprisoned our whole lives long. Links for this show: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com
Thu, December 01, 2022
(Part 1 of 2) "Family of Origin" is the term used in counseling work to refer to the relational systems into which we were born and raised. Our families of origin leave lasting impacts on us all. They are the source of so many of our most basic ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. A crucial step in healing for all people is to gain an awareness of our families of origin. This awareness takes us outside our biased perspective as participants and gives us the view of an outside, unbiased observer. When we come to see our families of origin more clearly, we also see more clearly our own identity, strengths, challenges, drives, and defenses. With this awareness, we can unlock a sense of freedom from old patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that have kept us imprisoned our whole lives long. Links for this show: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com
S2 E22 · Thu, November 10, 2022
Everything about your sexual health is impacted when you are betrayed by someone you love and trust. Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, an ASSECT Certified Sex Therapist, and an APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist. She helps betrayed partners move from unhealthy to healthy sexuality in the healing process after betrayal. Dr. Hollenbeck understands the traumatic impact on you as an individual and as a sexual partner and she offers hope for partners that getting to a place of sexual health and enjoyment is possible after betrayal. Links in this episode: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com https://crystalhollenbeck.com
S2 E23 · Thu, October 20, 2022
Sex addiction is often an intimacy disorder. For many, its roots take hold during the early stages of childhood development when we should be given the instruction and nurturing needed to emotionally bond with others. When this does not happen, we struggle to feel love, or for that matter, feel any emotions. We are emotionally undeveloped. This leaves us lacking the skills and resources needed to emotionally connect on a deeper level. So even if one becomes sexually-sober, if one does not learn to become emotionally developed, relationships will continue to suffer. Often we see this in his inability to comfort a partner during suffering from betrayal trauma. By becoming emotionally developed, we can develop the confidence needed to emotionally connect and be vulnerable. Dr. Eddie Capparucci, author of "Why Men Struggle to Love: Overcoming Relational Blind Spots," joins Dr. Jake to discuss why sobriety isn't enough and how sex addicts can develop further emotionally. Links from show: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com http://www.innerchild-sexaddiction.com http://www.strugglingmen.org
S2 E22 · Thu, October 06, 2022
Betrayal Trauma is a reality. It’s not weakness of character, lack of forgiveness, or a sign of resentment. The discovery of secret betrayal has a literal, physical affect on the brain and its ability to process and act upon the data we take in as we move through life. In this episode, you’ll hear the second half of Dr. Jake Porter’s keynote presentation on Betrayal Trauma at the XPOSED conference from earlier this year in Portland, Oregon. In it, he discusses what Betrayal Trauma is, how it affects the brain, and what is needed for healing. Links in show: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com
S2 E21 · Thu, September 29, 2022
Betrayal Trauma is a reality. It’s not weakness of character, lack of forgiveness, or a sign of resentment. The discovery of secret betrayal has a literal, physical affect on the brain and its ability to process and act upon the data we take in as we move through life. In this episode, you’ll hear the first half of Dr. Jake Porter’s keynote presentation on Betrayal Trauma at the XPOSED conference from earlier this year in Portland, Oregon. In it, he discusses what Betrayal Trauma is, how it affects the brain, and what is needed for healing. Links in show: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com
S2 E21 · Thu, September 08, 2022
Betrayed partners are usually so traumatized by the discovery of their partners' addiction or betrayal that they are trying to just put together the reality of what life is and has truly been. The first phase of healing from betrayal trauma is safety and stabilization. One of the first things that needs to happen is to find out what the betrayed partner needs to feel safe, and that usually means involving the betrayer. But what happens if the ones who did the betraying discard their partners' safety needs, as well as what it takes to live a life of integrity? Links mentioned in the show: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com http://www.hopecfl.com http://boundariessummit.com
S2 E20 · Thu, September 01, 2022
Divorce might seem like the obvious answer when betrayal occurs, but there are ways to save a marriage or relationship if the betrayer and partner are willing to step into healing. In this conversation between Dr. Jake and APSATS Certified Partner Coach Kim Hansen Petroni, they discuss the topic of divorce after the betrayal from several angles. Links from the show: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com http://go.boundariessummit.com http://www.coachinghope4u.com http://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com
S2 E19 · Thu, August 25, 2022
One of the trickiest scenarios recovering addicts and betrayed partners must navigate involves disclosure to children. How much do you tell? When do you share? Who should do it? While there's no one-size-fits-all approach to answer these questions, some principles are generally helpful to those who are facing this reality. In this episode, APSATS-trained Carley Pool, LPC Associate discusses these matters with Dr. Jake. Links from show: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com http://boundariessummit.com https://www.daringventures.com/carley/ http://instagram.com/carley_counseling_corner
S2 E18 · Thu, August 18, 2022
(This is the second part of a two-part series on core values. If you've not yet heard part one, go listen to that first!) Everyone has values. Some people choose their values on purpose. Others fall into valuing things that lead them away from the life they want most. Core values act as guides, pointing us in the direction of our dreams, hope, and expectations. This is true for individuals, but it can be true for couples, as well. Discover the power of shared values in relationships through this episode with Dr. Jake Porter! http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com http://boundariessummit.com
S2 E18 · Thu, August 11, 2022
Everyone has values. Some people choose their values on purpose. Others fall into valuing things that lead them away from the life they want most. Core values act as guides, pointing us in the direction of our dreams, hope, and expectations. This is true for individuals, but it can be true for couples, as well. Discover the power of shared values in relationships through this episode with Dr. Jake Porter! http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com
S2 E17 · Thu, August 04, 2022
In this conversation on the needs of couples after the discovery of sexual addiction, Dr. Jake is joined by Carol the Coach discuss her ERCEM model, the Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model. Jake and Carol talk about the three phases of healing for betrayal trauma, and how the betraying partner can help to heal the relationship, despite being the cause of pain. They discuss what true empathy is, and how it can transform the dynamic of the relationship and open the way to true healing. http://www.apsats.org http://go.drjakeporter.com http://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com
S2 E15 · Thu, July 21, 2022
In Julie's interview, she will discuss why attunement is important, how it can be developed, the three C's of Non-Verbal Communication: context, cluster, congruency. Albert Mehrabian's 55%, 38%, 7% Rule states that only 7% of what we communicate is with words, and yet we focus so many tools on this aspect. The rest of what we say is through signals, micro-expressions, facial reflexes, breathing patterns, and noises. Developing attunement to your partner's distress signals prior to the need for tools may help co-regulation prior to a conflict erupting. This can change the energy between partners and create safety in the relationship. Show links: http://apsats.org http://www.newenglandcoachingservices.com http://daringventures.com/windell https://go.chooseconnectionsummit.com/
S2 E14 · Thu, July 07, 2022
Betrayal can be devastating to your partner and your relationship, but many couples still love one another and are committed to mending their relationships. In order to do this, it is important for the unfaithful party to understand the traumatic nature of betrayal, and understand how to respond sensitively to their partner's pain. It is also critical they adopt a stance of honesty, transparency and commitment in their relationships. This often includes participating in a facilitated disclosure and emotional restitution process. Join APSATS trained coach Kathy Reynolds and APSATS founding president, Dr. Barbara Steffens, for this powerful conversation. Links for this episode: http://apsats.org http://drbarbarasteffens.com https://www.daringventures.com/kathy-reynolds/ http://drjakeporter.com
S2 E13 · Thu, June 30, 2022
Many people initially seek therapy for problems in their intimate relationships unaware that attachment patterns established in childhood directly affect behavior in their adult relationships. It is important to dismantle and become mindful of survival strategies unconsciously created in childhood that cause dysfunction in adult life. Neglect and our reaction to it is one of the most subtle and unrecognized of those problems which interferes with our ability to love and be loved. We are naturally created to seek connection, but when unconscious patterns interfere with this process they can produce devastating emotional pain and unhealthy behaviors that prevent this from happening. The first order of business is to unpack risky family situations, brain chemistry, and genetic factors to become mindful of how behaviors in the now are unconsciously being dictated by the past. Awareness then becomes one of the the keys to healing patterns that keep us from achieving true intimacy. Join Dr. Jake Porter in this interview with Enod Gray, LCSW, CSAT, and author of Neglect: The Silent Abuser. Links for the show: http://apsats.org http://drjakeporter.com Enod Gray 's Practice Enod's Book on Neglect
S2 E12 · Thu, June 23, 2022
After the discovery of sexual betrayal, betrayed partners need much more than "mere sobriety" for trust to be rebuilt. In this episode, Dr. Jake interview APSATS Certified Partner Coach Michelle Dyett-Welcome on the topic of life integrity. By focusing on issues of character and the necessity of core values living, those who have committed betrayal can experience deep healing for themselves, and make a space for the healing of their partners and relationships. Links mentioned in the show: https://apsats.org https://go.drjakeporter.com https://bectspsa.com michelle@bectspsa.com https://www.facebook.com/bectspsa https://www.instagram.com/michelledyettwelcome/
S2 E11 · Thu, June 09, 2022
In this episode, Dr. Jake reflects on some of the things he's learned over the years he's worked with sex addicts and betrayed partners. He discusses why these lessons are important for both professionals in the field but also those individuals seeking to recovery from the consequences of addiction and betrayal. Dr. Jake expands on these eight lessons: Betrayal is an issue of justice. Disclosures can be healing rather than traumatic. Co-occurring disorders must be assessed, diagnosed, and treated. Empathy is essential for individual and relational healing. No one can set a boundary for anyone else (ask for disclosure). Grief is where the healing happens. Lack of capacity is different from lack of will. Values provide a positive direction for change. Listen in to be empowered with knowledge that can change the course of your healing journey. Links mentioned in the show: APSATS.org drjakeporter.com daringventures.com "Are You On the Coaster" Video
S2 E10 · Thu, June 09, 2022
Discovery of sexual betrayal erodes safety, trust and intimacy in relationships. This brings devastation to the partner and the relationship. So how do we start the process of healing after sexual betrayal? One major way to begin healing is through a formal disclosure process, facilitated by a professional. In this episode, we’ll explore what a formal disclosure is, as well as the benefits and risks of doing a disclosure. We’ll address best practices in the full disclosure process, including exploring different options for how these disclosures can take place. We’ll utilize resources we’ve created for facilitating safe and effective disclosures, and how couples can begin to heal after sexual betrayal. Links from show: drjakeporter.com www.disclosurehope.com www.intensivehope.com apsats.org
Thu, June 02, 2022
Discovery of sexual betrayal erodes safety, trust and intimacy in relationships. This brings devastation to the partner and the relationship. So how do we start the process of healing after sexual betrayal? One major way to begin healing is through a formal disclosure process, facilitated by a professional. In this episode, we’ll explore what a formal disclosure is, as well as the benefits and risks of doing a disclosure. We’ll address best practices in the full disclosure process, including exploring different options for how these disclosures can take place. We’ll utilize resources we’ve created for facilitating safe and effective disclosures, and how couples can begin to heal after sexual betrayal. Links from show: drjakeporter.com www.disclosurehope.com www.intensivehope.com apsats.org
Thu, May 26, 2022
Our difficult life experiences and traumas, including those we have collectively experienced in the last few years, have created an opening for personal growth, healing, and an opportunity to connect within our community in a way that we were never offered in the past. Through her own experience of walking through personal devastation and loss while healing in nature, Sara shares the principles she’s developed and uses to guide men and women on healing retreats in the Grand Canyon and Alaska. Together we create upward positive change while deepening internal relationships, fostering forgiveness, implementing thought-leadership tools that create belonging, and empowering through authentic leadership that fosters change in the world.
Thu, May 05, 2022
When someone is suffering from Betrayal Trauma, they are typically frightened, angry, confused, sometimes frozen in a state of shock wanting to just feel safe. So safety and stabilization is the immediate mission with a betrayed partner. Throughout the healing process the partner will constantly be pointed back to the issue of safety because that is the root to being able to trust again. Regardless of how long she has been on her journey, she can have a plan, which will be formable as she moves through the recovery process, on day one. This plan can benefit both the healing of the betrayed partner individually, and the healing of the relationship — if the betraying partner is willing to join in.
Thu, April 21, 2022
Both the addict and the partner suffer from the loss of time, meaning, and clarity. Connecting together through pain, shame, and helplessness (vulnerability) enables them to recreate a shared story of suffering and recovering together. Learning to grieve one's own losses is critical for individual recovery; learning to grieve shared losses is critical to relational recovery. When the addict, in particular, learns to walk through the partner's experience there is an empathic exchange that recreates a new story in the safety of being seen, heard, and felt. Grief is clarified in that the past takes on new meaning. Both the addicted partner and the betrayed partner begin to view their history as a shared truth. As a result, they are empowered to experience growth toward an entirely new and different relationship — one that is healthy and life-giving. Links: http://apsats.org http://go.chooseconnectionsummit.com http://daringventures.com/windell
Thu, April 14, 2022
Grief is an inevitable part of the healing processes for those who have been impacted by the discovery of betrayal, as well as for those who have done the betraying. Grief and mourning, the second phase of APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model, is where those who have experienced loss begin to create a new meaning that leads to healing and the ability to move forward. In this episode, Dr. Jake discusses grief as it relates to betrayal trauma. Discovery insights from clinical theories of grief, the neurobiology of grief and trauma, and practical ways to move through the grief process. Links for the episode: APSATS.org DrJakePorter.com Show notes can be found here: http://shorturl.at/nBCGX
Thu, April 07, 2022
Recovery is meant to be a journey, not a destination. Healing is not an end unto itself, but a process needed to make another way of living possible, without the weight of trauma and addiction. In this conversation between Dr. Jake and Jessica Guillory, an APSATS-trained LPC, they discuss how people can begin to see signs that efforts for recovery might be getting in the way of post-traumatic growth.
Thu, March 31, 2022
The twin processes of recovery from sex addiction and healing from betrayal trauma can be complicated. The complexity of the wounds, both individually and relationally, can leave people feeling disoriented and lost. In the Q&A session, Dr. Jake Porter and APSATS Certified Partner Coach Andrea Rogers take on those questions from actually folks in the trenches of the recovery process. Links mentioned during the show: http://APSATS.org https://www.fullyalivecoachingllc.com http://drjakeporter.com http://chooseconnectionsummit.com
Thu, March 24, 2022
Couples who have suffered the consequences of sexual addiction and betrayal have quite the journey ahead. While traditional models of recovery focus on parallel processes of recovery for the addicted and betrayed partners, Carol the Coach's new model — ERCEM — helps couples begin healing together through the power of empathy. Links mentioned in the show: APSATS.org ChooseConnectionSummit.com https://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com/ DrJakePorter.com
Thu, March 17, 2022
The use of polygraphs in sexual addiction recovery has been a long-debated subject, but one with increasing use by many clinicians and coaches. Many disclosure processes now take advantage of polygraph technology as a tool to increase effectiveness. In this conversation with polygraph examiner Stephen Cabler, Dr. Jake draws out some basics about how to use polygraphs effectively in the recovery process.
Thu, March 10, 2022
A sadly common experience of betrayed partners is finding additional trauma rather than support when they go to leaders of their faith communities. Though they often mean well, religious leaders sometimes end up furthering the damage done to coming to them in crisis after the discovery. Betrayed partners need to understand the dynamics of spiritual trauma in order to process and heal from the harm they've received. In this episode, Dr. Jake interviews APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Stacey Sadler, LPC, on her experience, both personally and professionally, facing spiritual trauma. Stacey also shares her thoughts on how those who have gone through such trials can become effective advocates for change within their faith communities. Links in this episode: APSATS.org DrJakePorter.com StaceySadler.com BeautifulOutlaws.com
Thu, February 03, 2022
With 175 episodes and more than 200,000 listens, Carol Juergensen Sheets started APSATS' Betrayal Recovery Radio podcast and built it into an established and trusted source of information, comfort, hope, and help to individuals and couples suffering from the effects of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. After three years of service, Carol the Coach is stepping down as the show's host, passing the reins to Dr. Jake Porter. In this episode, Dr. Jake will host a time of celebration honoring Carol the Coach for her dedication to the field of betrayal trauma recovery. Join us for this special time of fun, laughter, and remembrance.
S1 E168 · Sun, January 30, 2022
With 175 episodes and more than 200,000 listens, Carol Juergensen Sheets started APSATS' Betrayal Recovery Radio podcast and built it into an established and trusted source of information, comfort, hope, and help to individuals and couples suffering from the effects of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. After three years of service, Carol the Coach is stepping down as the show's host, passing the reins to Dr. Jake Porter. In this episode, Dr. Jake will host a time of celebration honoring Carol the Coach for her dedication to the field of betrayal trauma recovery. Join us for this special time of fun, laughter, and remembrance.
Fri, December 10, 2021
No one should do “this” alone.. And with GFY Coaching, is going to describe their mission to ensure you don’t have to. Carol will be interviewing both Gail and Judy who have shifted their vision from establishing and growing our business to what some would call, a grandiose proposition, where we work to reach ALL partners who want and need help overcoming the pain and devastation caused by sexual betrayal. There are so many women out there who desperately need the help, but are unaware of it… and even if they are aware, they either can’t afford the help they need, or they don’t know how or where to find the resources that are available to help them. This leads us to the first element of our Practice’s focus…educating the community around us…stepping out of our APSATS community and into places that have never even heard the term sexual betrayal trauma.. educating, training and shedding light on this topic to anyone end everyone who is willing to listen. Churches, state organizations, community centers, wellness centers etc. time/cost effectiveness ..we can help more people at one time and at a much lower rate.
Sun, December 05, 2021
In today's podcast, Carol the Coach reminds partners that they can get to PTG!
Sat, November 06, 2021
Carol the Coach is talking with Mathew and Joanna Raabsmith who work together helping couples and individuals find healing and transformation when sexual betrayal occurs. Today, they will share their own story of healing and restoration from the damage of addiction and betrayal in their marriage. They seek to use their training and experience to empower other couples to find healing and wholeness in their own unique journey.
Wed, October 27, 2021
During phase two of APSATS trauma model, the SA, and often times the partner herself may ask “Why can’t I/she get over it” or “why are we stuck and not moving forward”? When working with couples it is essential that the SA learn As much information as he can about betrayal trauma. And part of that information is not only about the timing and the patience that the SA needs to have but also how he needs to have the tools to help his partner move towards forgiveness. The partner never will “get over it” but she can grow from it and use her experience to become an even better version of herself, and eventually the couple can heal as well. But it all starts with safety and stability. Today, Carol the Coach willl be talking to Tiffany Comisky who wants couples to recognize the trauma of partner betrayal.The goal here is to help the partner move into a place in the relationship where she is finally feeling safe enough to feel “connected” with the SA. Much too often the SA wants to move straight into the post traumatic growth stage, especially if he is feeling free from his own pain of addiction and/or isn’t dealing with the shame of it so wants to put it behind him as fast as possible. But it simply doesn’t work that way. The SA needs to understand the damage that has been done to his partner and to their relationship is not an easy fix, but if he has the attitude of “I’m willing to be here for my partner and help her through this trauma for as long as it takes” then there is hope. The biggest challenge is having the stamina to do this.
Thu, October 21, 2021
Carol the Coach is interviewing Bonny Burns and her mission is to help couples re-engage in sexual intimacy after sexual addiction. It is easy for couples to feel defeated. Usually couples experience sexuality at different levels, Listen as Bonny gives some tips to restore the trust and communication that a couple needs to build safety.
Fri, October 15, 2021
Carol the Coach is announcing her new model that she is teaching clinicians and coaches to Help Them Heal. ERCEM teaches the addict how to help them heal.
Sat, October 09, 2021
One of the greatest casualties to sexual addiction is when a partner has to deal with triggers. Dorit Reichental has developed a Trigger Busters technique that sex addicts can use with their partners to assist in managing the triggers. Listen as she and Carol the Coach dialogue about how a husband can be the support she needs to quiet the triggers!
Sun, October 03, 2021
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dan and Angie Andrew who want the community to understand the difference between sobriety and true recovery. They believe that the coupleship with thrive when both people do their work and support each other's recovery. They will discuss the tools for recovery that keep the lines of communication open and promote good self care.
Sun, September 26, 2021
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing James Annear of Core Relationship Recovery who has researched the attachment styles of betrayed partners and has found extreme wounding that effects deep trust and intimacy. Today, he will be talking about the 4 attachment styles and how they are effected when "heart wounding" occurs.
Fri, September 17, 2021
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dan Drake and Janice Caudill on their new book, Full Disclosure: How To Share The Truth After Sexual Betrayal. They recognize that doing a full disclosure can be both daunting and difficult, so they will be talking about their step by step approach they have created in their new workbooks. They have participated in hundreds of disclosures and have years of experience and are committed to helping you navigate a complicated yet vital part of healing after sexual betrayal.
Thu, September 09, 2021
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Marie Kriebs an expert in intimacy disorders, partner betrayal and vulnerability. As an APSATS trained therapist, she believes it is important to educate betrayed partners about healthy intimacy and the importance of personal growth and self awareness. She will be sharing some of the myths about vulnerability and helping our listeners to identify how and when they can be more vulnerable.
Thu, September 02, 2021
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Catherine Etherington who is a part of the Naked Truth Project about some new programing that is coming out that will help you and the church know how to support addicts, partners and families all over the world! They have set up a P Word Conference to stream critical information to help set up programming to keep our communities safe. This conference will have experts from all over the world who will start the conversation to find hope and strength in the recovery process. And it can start with the church!
Thu, August 26, 2021
Sex addicts who knowingly have sex with their spouses while having unprotected sex with others are violating their spouses by undermining her self-determination over her body. When the partner of the SA has no idea she's been "having sex" with her spouse's sex workers, a crime has been committed. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Alex Katehakis, Ph.D, Clinical Director of Center for Healthy Sex, who believes that sex in a relationship where intimate deception is taking place is a non-consensual act and leaves many partners feeling "raped" having been exposed to multiple sex partners and the potential to contract an STI, some of which can be fatal. Find out why few women get honest enough with themselves about the gravity of this type of gross violation!
Thu, August 19, 2021
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Laura Jenkins and Sherri Payne, who have supported the APSATS team to help women who are hurting and alone. They would like to share their story of the betrayal they experienced in their marriages over many years, how Ithey said “no more”, and overcame their fears to rebuild a life that was shattered. You may have experienced this, or know a woman close to you who struggles in her married relationship. Laura Jenkins says, "Our struggles are held very close and hidden, the pain and isolation leading to additional trauma beyond what our partner’s sexual acting out has dealt us." Having gone through this and found a certain level of healing, Sherri Payne acknowleges that they have felt a definite call to help women Iand in a place of safety as they navigate through the betrayal. Her not for profit, Unbound and Free is a "pay it forward" program is a ministry that that can help partially pay to help another woman who needs access to coaching and mentoring. Laura Jenkins founded Safe Haven Mentoring to be a resource, to provide a safe, compassionate haven for women to be heard and help them navigate this mindfield of hurts and disillusionment.She acknowledges, 'My first step in rebuilding my life was focusing on myself, and getting educated and as a coach I am here to help you rebuild yours too! Listen as these two mentors explain how they are giving back!
Thu, August 12, 2021
Partner betrayal is devestating and you need the skills to get through it. Listen as Carol the Coach gives you tips on how to work through the pain! Today, Joanna Raabsmith is going to be talking about how she empowerw partners as their spouses struggle with sex addiction, infedelity and betrayal. When partners find out about the discovery, they typically feel disempowered and the imbalance can make them feel even more unsafe and insecure. As they become more empowered, they have more control and their personal healing increases.
Thu, August 05, 2021
Grief is a step that many many betrayed partners miss in the aftermath of Discovery day. However, it's vital in the healing process. It is in the 2nd phase of the Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model. It matters. Today, Lyschel Burket is going to talk about why grief is so important to the mind, body and spirit and how to effectively work through it to get to restoration of self.
S1 E156 · Thu, July 29, 2021
Today Carol will be talking with Melissa and Rebecca who are coordinating a community for women who have been through partner betrayal. They describe WeTonglen as a safe community for partners and ex-partners of , sex, and love addicts to share their stories of healing and hope, and find comfort and resources to aid on the journey of mending our broken hearts. We believe sex addiction is a deep-seated intimacy disorder created by early life attachment wounds in the addict. We support partners and ex-partners as they experience deeply distressing and traumatic reactions, also known as betrayal trauma. We do not believe the partner or ex-partner of a sex addict is to blame for causing or contributing to the addict’s acting-out behavior. Victim-blaming, collusion with the addict’s gaslighting, and blame-shifting to focus on the supposed contribution of the partner to the addict’s dysfunction can be retraumatizing to partners. WeTonglen is based on the perspective of Dr. Rob Weiss’s Prodependence, a model based in the field of attachment science, which does not pathologize partners as inherently damaged individuals, but instead affirms partners as relatively healthy people responding to an incredibly stressful situation. WeTonglen is all about supporting each other as we confront our new realities, grapple with life changes we never expected, and safeguard ourselves with thoughtful boundary-setting and self-care.
Thu, July 22, 2021
Today, Carol the Coach is talking with trauma specialist Dr. Diane Hovey who believes that after the disclosures, the endless questions, river of tears, and tsunami of shame, the pain remains. The journey to uncover the roots of what went wrong fades in and out of the mists of reality. Some resign. Others encounter a shift in perspective that no longer allows them to continue in the same manner. This is a turning point. A point where possibility is an opening for a new beginning. It is a place of clarity, where one can finally take flight or put down new roots. It is a place of healing, growth, and possibility. Dr. Hovey asks what is needed to get to this point? The focus of this talk is on fostering a paradigm shift that allows us to move beyond the never-ending search for answers and the ultimate fix. We will explore the meaning making process and spiritual dimension of healing that contribute to a new way of being. This will include ways to contemplate our own relationship with pain and suffering, on how we store and re-story our experience in a manner that is transformative.
Fri, July 16, 2021
Today, Carol the Coach and Dr. Jake Porter will be talking about the Empathy Certification that is teaching Clinicians and Coaches how to encorporate empathy skills in early couples recovery work. ERCEM (Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model), is a premier relational training and certification that navigates professionals how to work through sexual addiction and partner betrayal from the APSATS model using the 3 phase model that works with couples to get them to post-traumatic growth. This is a premier training that has ground-breaking exercises to instill trust and empathy. The 4-day training is from September 28th thru October 1st, 2021. To register go to APSATS.org and look for the training tab. Working with couples is hard work, but with infidelity and compulsive sexual behavioral disorder, the picture becomes much more complicated and requires extreme knowledge of how to work with couples from a partner sensitive approach and ERCEM will provide strategies that will repair the relationship and build trust back into the coupleship. Register now to be guided by these amazing couples therapists who believe in restoration for the couple and want to show you how to help couples navigate through the devestation of partner betrayal!
Thu, July 15, 2021
When you are betrayed by someone you trust, your whole world is turned upside down. Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is going to discuss the devastating impact betrayal has on every part of your person and how to survive one day at a time. She will share how broken trust can make you question your beliefs about your spouse, friends, yourself, your life, and God, and will help you see how you can learn to trust once again. Dr. Hollenbeck is an APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional and offers Three Day Trauma Healing Intensives in her Orlando, Florida office. Please visit her website at www.CrystalHollenbeck.com.
Wed, July 14, 2021
Karen and John Rellos will be sharing a community they are building for couples who are recovering from sex addiction and partner betrayal. They recognize the need for couples to have a safe community to "walk beside" other couples on this very bumpy messy road of healing. They want to provide a membership that fosters ongoing support in a safe private community with other couples who have been impacted by sexual betrayal. Listen as they share with Carol the Coach their vision to support couples in recovery.
Thu, July 01, 2021
Carol the Coach interviews Michelle whose husband was extorted for 50K and Michelle shares how she is coping and struggling with his choices.
Sat, June 19, 2021
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing a recovery coach who has created a unique program for betrayed wives. He explains that after a few years in The Silent Addiction as a sex addiction recovery coach, and also working as a workshp counselor for Be Broken and their Gateway to Freedom Weekend Workships for sex addicts, my heart has been burdened by the brokenness of the betrayed spouse. As a person who actually created a betrayed spouse by my own improprieties of use and an illicit affair I watched how my now ex wife struggled in so many ways while I chased my own needs. As I coach men in their sexual addiction recovery, I am often engaged with the wives at times. I see their trauma and pain. I hear their rage and hopelessness and fear. I have now gathered my ex-wife and her husband and my wife and we are spearheading this retreat for betrayed wives. He says, "We will tell our stories, we will have special teaching directed at the women about their value, worth and incomparability. We will have seasons of worship and meditation and prayers. We will offer some class exercises all in the confines of a small retreat center outside of Orlando FL January 14-16, 2022. " The website is https://www.thesilentaddiction.com/healing-the-soul.html. They can just visit THESILENTADDICTION.COM and click on the tab for Healing the Soul.
Thu, June 17, 2021
People will tell you that "it's only. looking at images." But we know that looking at adult images can take anyone down and today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Joshua Shea who is a recovering ponography addict who made the error of engaging a teenage girl in an online chatroom for which he was arrested and served 6 months in jail. Joshua says that it all started with . He has gotten clean, and has made it his mission to help others with the addiction. Listen as he talks about his struggles to get back up and create purpose in his life.
Thu, June 10, 2021
Repeat of APSATS vice-president Jessica Eidens whose specialty is to assist partners in how to handle the complexities of Sex Addiction in the family.
Thu, June 03, 2021
Validation is so important to creating intimacy and connection. Often the validation piece is the hardest part for people to “get”. This process helps learners understand how and why it is so important and just how to do it. The step by step process walks them through it easily. Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing APSATS therapist, Stacey Sadler hascreated the Victory Through Validation program. It consists of a FREE 8-day e-course in the form of 8 daily emails taking one letter of the word VALIDATE each day and explaining it. Each day has questions in a pdf formate for the participant to download and take the deep dive into the real work. She has also produced a 90 minute webinar that shows me working through the Victory Through Validation process with a sex addict/partner in recovery. Each runs through a situation that they would like their spouse to validate them in. She breaks in with teaching moments throughout. She also offers a group coaching zoom call for 4 couples at a time teaching them the process.
Thu, May 27, 2021
Emotional abuse can have devestating affects on partners. They are so vulnerable and their self esteem is already fragile from betrayal and then they experience the emotional abuse and they question theirselves and their reality. Raquel Custer is currently a Bloom for Women betrayal trauma coach at Addo Recovery. She is a certified life coach specializing in betrayal trauma, mindfulness practices, and family life. She is trained through APSATS, the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists and has her own private practice, The Healer's Art, LLC. Mindfulness, meditation and body work have all been integral parts of her healing and she incorporates them into her work as a coach. Raquel has spent the last three years learning MBSR, mindfulness based stress reduction and will give us a brief introduction to the benefits of mindfulness meditation and self compassion as tools for healing trauma from betrayal. She believes that it is self compassion that helps you heal from emotional abuse.
Thu, May 20, 2021
Riana Milne knows that 9 out of 10 women struggle in life and love. Partner betrayal results in such a trauma wounding that leaves you wondering if you will ever be able to trust him again. And if he continues to be self-absorbed and self-interested leabing empathy behind you may want to assess for narcissistic personality disorder. Today Riana discusses that disorder and helps you to know where you need to go next. She is going to help you learn the signs.
Thu, May 13, 2021
Male partners seem to face a special circumstance in their betrayal because there are less resources available and the fight an extra layer of shame because it effects their masculinity. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Gary Ownes who is a male spouse of a female sex addict. He has written a book to help other men who find themsellves in the battle of their lives. Gary shares his recovery story and his transformation back into his self esteem and masulinity.He wrote Betrayed Husbands Survival Guide and offers it as an e-book.
S1 E145 · Thu, May 06, 2021
It can be incredibly challenging when your husband has engaged in illegal behaviors that result in arrest. Partner betrayal is difficult enough to navigate but when it meets up with the legal system it brings a multitde of other factors to have to cope with and process. Today, Samantha Ammann shares She loves her work with partners of sex addicts who are in crisis because they are dealing with SA's who struggle withoffending behaviors. This population suffers from more chaos, uncertainty and trauma and requires very specialized help.
Thu, April 29, 2021
Today, Carol the Coach interviews Rebecca Ray wh wants to talk about the dissociative process that can affect partners due to on-going stress, abuse, and psychological terror. This disorder causes disruptions or breakdowns in memory, awareness, identity and or perception and she wants are listeners to know that they CAN live normal lives when they manage the symptoms and the triggers!
Thu, April 22, 2021
If you want to learn from the Master....we have an expert on post traumatic growth on the show to help you with betrayal and other forms of trauma. Today Carol the Coach is interviewing Dr. Dayton who has been a guest expert on NBC, CNN, MSNBC, Montel, Rikki Lake, John Walsh, and Geraldo. She is the author of 15 books including Neuropsychodrama in the Treatment of Relational Trauma, The ACoA Trauma Syndrome: How Childhood Trauma Impacts Adult Relationships, Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance, Trauma and Addiction: Ending the Cycle of Pain Through Emotional Literacy, Heartwounds: The Impact of Unresolved Trauma and Grief on Relationships, Forgiving and Moving On, The Living Stage: A Step by Step Guide to Psychodrama and Experiential Therapy, and The Magic of Forgiveness. You can also read blog posts by Dr. Dayton on The Huffington Post and Thrive Global. Her films and videos include The Process (a 73-minute award-winning docudrama that uses psychodrama to tell stories of addicts), Adult Children of Alcoholics, Trauma, and The Body: A Psychodramatic Approach and Healing Childhood Abuse through Psychodrama. She is going to talk about ways for partners to find their strength and live their best life!
Thu, April 15, 2021
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Matthew, who will be sharing about his work helping men who have committed betrayal and/or who struggle with unwanted sexual behavior restore their lives and relationships. He and his wife Joanna, have been working in the field of betrayal/addiction recovery for over 5 years helping couples rebuild what was lost. He explains to Carol the Coach that his particular focus of this effort has been in coaching men to reclaim their authentic, healthy self in order to constantly show up as safe and loving to the people who have been wounded by their behaviors. His research and experience has taught him that in order for this to happen there is vital work for the betrayer to restore identity and safety for himself/herself. This work of restoration includes forgiveness of others, practicing self compassion, emotional regulation, mindfulness, and empathetic growth. He has seen men transform from dangerously destructive for their partners to radically supportive, patient, and safe toward those that they victimized. Every man who reaches out wants to get it right. They want to love and be loved well. They want to clear the wreckage of their past. They want their partners to feel safe and secure. He will be explaining that he gets the privilege of helping them learn the tools they need to go from wish to reality.
Thu, April 08, 2021
Betrayal trauma creates a pain that has been described as worse than the death of a loved one. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Amanda Elliott Asproni who wants to help betrayed partners work through the trauma. Clients who come into counseling with betrayal trauma alongside untreated complex trauma/PTSD struggle with the healing process in nuanced ways compared to betrayal trauma alone. She will be explaining the differences for clients who present with both complex and betrayal trauma? And she will be sharing how their recovery journey compares with clients who suffer from betrayal trauma?
Thu, April 01, 2021
During the last year, all of our lives have changed drastically. While we now have more access to therapy and recovery groups than ever thanks to online platforms and Telehealth, we are also facing isolation and stressors that can severely derail or escalate addiction and trauma. Recovery in a post pandemic world takes new levels of commitment, but can also deepen our growth more than ever. Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Faith Niece who works with partners and families to navigate through the trauma of sex addiction partner betrayal while in a pandemic.
Thu, March 25, 2021
There are many types of residential, intensive and individual programs designed to help the addict, but today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Timothy Lee, who founded the New York Pathways Relationship Restoration Program. We are featuring this program because it works from a partner sensitive approach in that it includes loooking at partner trauma. Timothy describes treating both the addict and the betrayed partner and working to restore the relationship. He defines the addicts program as the following: we work from the addiction treatment model, which focuses on abstinence, psychotherapy, peer support and 12-step recovery. For our partners, we are mainly using a trauma model of treatment, helping the partner establish safety self-care and setting boundaries. We also work with the conjoint therapy model. The model focuses on various tasks to be completed to maintain good individual and relational recovery.He does this by meeting with his therapist along with his partner and her therapist. Listen as he talks about why he believes this to be such an important treatment program for couples!
Thu, March 18, 2021
Today Carol the Coach is interviewing Jenni Rochelle who has created a coaching program for women healing from betrayal trauma. It’s a six-month, private coaching program for women who are in the later stages of healing and are ready to reclaim and rediscover themselves. The website is www.jennirochelle.com/beautyafterbetrayal
S1 E134 · Thu, March 11, 2021
If you are not getting the restorative sleep that you need, then you are not functioning at your best. Depending on how bad your sleep is can inform as to how low your functioning may be. Whaat we know is that sex addiction and partner betrayal greatly effect your sleep quantiy and quality. Laura Childers studies brain activity and will be talking about how sleep issues can feed addictions. The desire for comfort, calmness in an over aroused brain. It can do the same for trauma as often the addict and partner brains are similar. Restoring yourself with good sleep while going through recovery can allow for more ability to be grounded in the recovery process. Are you wondering if you have a sleep issue? Many partner and addicts have no idea that they have a sleep issue. Today, Laura will be offering solid ways to discover if you might have a sleep issue, ways to improve your sleep and when you might need to go in for a sleep study.
Thu, March 11, 2021
Carol's guest was unable to appear so she talked about her new book "Unleashing Your Power" and how that book can move you through the 3 stages of partner betrayal. As you listen to the show, ask yourself what you can do to detach from the pain and grow from the inner strength that you have inside.
Thu, March 04, 2021
Returning to a healthy sexual relationship is complex and often times partners want to know that their spouse will not be triggered by resuming a sexual relationship. Partners do not want to be compared to unhealthy sexual images or experiences and wish they could "know" what their husband is thinking while they are being intimate. Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Alex Katehakis, who has written a workbook for sex addicts to help them develop a sexual health plan that emphasizes the many dimensions of healthy sexuality. Listen, as they talk about the sensitive subject of sexual reintegration.
Thu, February 25, 2021
Lots of professionals are finding brainspotting an efffective technique to process trauma. Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Julie StOnges who took the training and has found it is absolutely the quickest way to help children and people who have ADHD. She also believes it can help with partner betrayal. She has been tracking clients progress and their emotional states and have found measurable differences . She saw amazing patterns of processing, pain, relief, joy and even God spots. They call God spots a space where God shows up and speaks love and acceptance. She describes "Brain Spotting" as an experience which uses your upset memories or thoughts along with stressful body sensations to isolate spaces in your brain and mind where trauma or stress has not assimilated into your story. Facial reflexes and breathing patterns indicate how processing is going and what stage you are in. Most clients say it is the last time they ever feel the pain to that extent. Listen as Julie, shares this exciting process for trauma.
Thu, February 18, 2021
There are many great forms of therapy out there today to help partners and sex addicts process betrayal, trauma, recovery, and other important issues for healing.Today, Mike Vaugn shares with partners, a powerful type of therapy that can connect addicts to the pain that may have contributed to their addiction and deceit. One of the more powerful types of therapy is called experiential therapy. We all know that the joys and sorrows in life impact not only our minds, but also our bodies. With that said, experiential therapy helps clients process fully because it engages our whole body. It is often said that just as wounds happen through experience, healing happens through experience as well. Experiential therapy is designed to help healing through techniques that engage the whole person.
Thu, February 11, 2021
Sex Addiction can fatally wound a marriage relationhsip. Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is an APSATS therapist and helps marriages move from a place of woundedness to a place of healing. She conducts Three Day Marriage Intensives for couples who have a consistent recovery path with Sex Addiction Recovery and Betrayal Trauma Recovery, and are ready to move from a place of woundedness to a place of healing in their relationship. She wants partners to know there is hope for building and maintaining a strong, fun, loving, intimate, healthy marriage that includes a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Visit her website at www.CrystalHollenbeck.com. She has offices in Orlando and Tampa Florida. You can call her at 407.408.6521 or email her at Crystal@CrystalHollenbeck.com
Thu, February 04, 2021
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Riana Milne who is a relationship expert and personal life coach who has studied relationhip trauma and she wants to go over the 10 adverse childhood events that sabotages relationships. Many partners have had childhood trauma and would like to understand what they have experienced and what they need to do to cope with it. She also wants to offer some free gifts to our listeners who want to understand their self and the relationship.
Thu, January 28, 2021
Carol the Coach will be interviewing a couple about Sexual Addiction and Partner Betrayal and how to get clarity when it doesn't feel like recovery is working. Listen to their story and what they have tried to get healthy.
Thu, January 21, 2021
Carol the Coach will be interviewing a partner who wants to share her story of betrayal and how she found meaning from it.
S1 E126 · Thu, January 14, 2021
When partners get healthy they want to help others. Today, Carol the Coach is going to be talking with APSATS President, Laurie Hall about the APSATS training program and how partners can become trained clinicians and coaches through the APSATS Certification Program.Join our training in a couple of weeks! Listen as you ask yourself, "Am I Ready to Serve?"
Thu, January 07, 2021
Peggy Matheson has created a coloring book that will bring about serenity. She drew a few sketches when she was a young woman, but had such a love for the performing arts that drawing quickly fell by the way side. Earning a BFA in Music Dance Theater from Brigham Young University was a jumping off point that punctuated years of performances on stage and on screen. Her tenacity to create the most impact with a performance has informed her ability to create poetry and drawings that not only resonate but also delight. After college, a parallel path was forming as her desire for freedom from pain drove her to do deep emotional healing work. She eventually found a modality that transformed her life and subsequently became a Certified Journey Practitioner helping others heal their pain through restorative guided meditation.Above all Peggy is a believer. She is a believer in the power to become our best selves and that life and relationships have meaning and purpose. For years, she felt her mission was her successful marriage. When it ended abruptly, she began to put the pieces together and discovered she’d been living in an emotionally abusive relationship. Now she’s an APSATS trained Partner Coach (CPC-c) and trained Family Life Coach (BCC-c) working with those seeking to transform themselves beyond their doubts, negative beliefs, trauma and especially betrayal trauma. Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Peggy on how she found a way to bring grounding and resourcing to women. Peggy facilitates creativity workshops using guided meditation, movement, and music as well as supporting individuals on their healing journey.
Wed, December 23, 2020
The importance of sex in human relationships, especially with our spouse, is well known to us as a vital element in developing and maintaining a healthy marriage and relationship. Thus, the betrayal from a loved one, related sexual affairs, brings traumatic experiences for many. It would not surprise to say that the relationship between sexual compatibility and marital satisfaction is a universal experience for many couples. However, the impacts of culture in navigating sex in a relationship bring unique challenges in Asian-interracial relationship. US society has a long history of stereotypes toward Asian women. A mail-order bride is one of the good examples. The description of "exotic" and "submissive" Asian women intensifies non-Asian men's unrealistic expectations toward Asian women. The adult/sex industry's spreading influence that commercializes Asian women's sexuality adds to the modern era's complexity. On the contrary, in Eastern cultures, women's sexuality, especially the value of virginity, has been highly valued, not only to an individual but also to the family legacy. Therefore, Western culture's rapid influence that promoting autonomy and individual happiness brings unique challenges to many young Asian women when married after having a sexual relationship with others before their marriage. The terms of Narita Divorce in Japan and Honeymoon Divorce in Korea are good. Thus, Asian women married outside of their ethnic group in the US face multiple challenges to navigate without many resources. Tonight, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Chun-Shin Taylor, an expert in partner betrayal, who wants to educate us on the nuances and the complexities of working with Asian-Interacial coupleships.
Thu, December 17, 2020
Helping couples heal is an APSATS misssion. Today, Carol the Coach interviews Clinton and Charity Munoz, who knows how difficult it is to restore the relationship after sexual addiction recovery has been initiated. want to talk about how important individual help is to get first, what their roles are in the restoration process. They believe in the process of rebuilding intimacy and trust after infidelity. Once a couple is getting traction in the healing process, they want to help them understand how they can have a thriving marriage even after infidelity. In the beginning, there are a lot of questions in understanding the role the wife now plays to the husband, aka not an accountability partner, and understanding the role the husband now plays to the wife, aka make her feel safe again. Today, they will share the process of how couples can create a thriving mariage.
Sat, December 12, 2020
Listen as Carol interviews Liza Young on Toxicity. Liza is a therapist with over 15 years of experience in helping people overcome life's most difficult situations. Liza has developed an online video course called Toxic Free Relationship. This course is designed to help you identify if your relationship is toxic, and what to do about it. She provides videos worksheets, and resources to help guide you to hope and healng.You can find out more about this course at www.lizayoungcounseling.com. You can hear her on her own podcast which is Therapy Extended with Liza Young.
S1 E120 · Thu, December 10, 2020
The importance of sex in human relationships, especially with our spouse, is well known to us as a vital element in developing and maintaining a healthy marriage and relationship. Thus, the betrayal from a loved one, related sexual affairs, brings traumatic experiences for many. It would not surprise to say that the relationship between sexual compatibility and marital satisfaction is a universal experience for many couples. However, the impacts of culture in navigating sex in a relationship brings unique challenges in Asian-interracial relationships. Today, Carol will be talking to Chun-Shin Taylor, who incorporates Western science of psychology and Eastern wisdom tradition from Traditional Chinese medicine. She will be discussing the the cultural stereotypes the American culture has of Asian-interracial relationships.
S1 E119 · Thu, December 03, 2020
Carol is interviewing Liza Young who has recently developed an online video course called Toxic Free Relationship. This course is designed to help you identify if your relationship is toxic and what to do about it. She provides several videos, worksheets and resources to help guide you to hope and healing. You can find out more about this course at www.lizayoungcounseling.com. Liza serves betrayed partners and she finds lots of opportunities to help serve the community. She also has a podcast called Therapy Extended with Liza Young.
Thu, November 19, 2020
Replay of Carol the Coach talking with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck talking about helpping couples heal.
Thu, November 12, 2020
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Debby Flanagan who has more than 25 years of ministry experience helping women find healing from sexual and love addiction and trauma. As a survivor, she has a special connection with women who have experienced childhood sexual abuse. Debby works closely with women in recognizing areas of codependency and developing healthy boundaries.Debby is passionate about helping women discover their true identity in our Lord and the joy they experience when they find lifelong healing from shame and trauma.She works for Pure Desire and helps women access recovery tools that will reinforce their relationship with God.
Thu, November 05, 2020
Today, Carol the Coach interviews expert Sarah Morales who is an expert and teaches courses on "gaslighting." Gaslighting can happen when an addict purposefully denies reality and projects that that there is something wrong with you for believing that there is something wrong wiith him. It can leave you feeling shaky and confused and it can make you doubt yourself. Listen as Sarah shares strategies for rebuking "gaslighting attempts."
Thu, October 29, 2020
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Lyschel Burket who is a certified professional coach who would love to spend some time unpacking a common tool used by couples as they step into the space of healing and rebuilding. The tool is commonly used as a check in tool. Which means they use this tool as guardrails to their time in order to create connection, communication and safety with one another. Many call this tool FANOS - which stands for Feelings, Affirmations, Needs, Ownership and Sobriety/Self Care. I believe this tool was originally offered by Debra & Mark Laaser with Faithful & True Ministries. It has also been sighted in Stephanie Carnes newest book Courageous Love, A Couples Guide to Conquering Betrayal.
Fri, October 23, 2020
Repeat of the therapeutic separation show.
Mon, October 12, 2020
Partners have lots of questions as to what they can do to seek safety. Listen, as Carol the Coach and Hope talk about ways to rebuild trust when she still doesn't feel safe. We talked about tools to create more safety in her relationship.
Thu, October 08, 2020
Today, Carol the Coach interviews Dr. Merry Frons who has specialized in treating couples with relationship and sexuality issues for over 30 years. She has very specific philosophies as to how to treat the partner individually and in couples therapy. She has written a step by step protocol that helps the couple through the healing journey together. Her book, The Trust Solution was written because she believes that restoring trust is the basis of repairing the relationship. Listen as she shares what she believes are the essentials when treating sexual addiction and couples who have experienced partner betrayal.
S1 E108 · Thu, October 08, 2020
Typical questions a partner asks with Carol the Coach
Thu, October 01, 2020
Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing a couple who went through sexual addiction and partner betrayal.. It resulted in a lot of hard work and research on partner betrayal.. Cat suffered from PTSD and needed to learn how to manage the triggers. She also began to write to help partners understand what was happening to them. Together she and Frank have commited to helping couples through difficult times. Cat has a series of 4 books that take you through that jouney.
Thu, September 24, 2020
Discovering your husband has broken his wedding vows by betraying you emotionally, sexually and financially, is extremely traumatic. Having to make a decision to stay married or get divorced is one of the most difficult and pressing decisions every partner struggles with. The incredible sense of fear and confusion facing this decision can be debilitating. Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is going to discuss the struggle partners have with this painful decision and offer guidance on how and when to make the decision to stay in or leave your marriage. Listen as Carol the Coach and Dr. Crystal help you to feel safe!
Thu, September 17, 2020
Carol the Coach is interviewing Mark Denison who has produced resources to help sex addicts find lasting freedom and recovery. As a man in recovery, (he still attends two 12-step meetings each week), he knows the importance of a specific plan for recovery. He will be talking about his two primary resources: 90-Day Recovery process and new Freedom Groups. The 90-Day Plan utilizes his 90-Day workbook, daily readings, daily written exercises, and weekly calls. Next week (September 21), he launches five new Freedom Groups, based on his new 400-page workbook, Life Recovery Plan. The purpose of this workbook and the groups is to help men’s recovery stick. Many of his wife, Beth’s clients are the wives of the men with whom he works. Mark will show men how to take their recovery to the next level with his recovery tools.
Thu, September 10, 2020
Are you an adult child of a sex addict? Do you feel confusion, fear and avoidance in your own relationships? Or do you feel best when you are intimately involved with someone? Adult children of sex addicts often are the forgotten population when we talk about sex addiction; but their experiences are a valid and rich contribution to the treatment of sex addiction and prevention of the generational addiction cycle. Adult children of sex addicts often suffer from maladaptive attachment patterns themselves having not experienced a healthy template, they feel lost and confused in relationships or desperate and anxious without relationships. Jessica will touch on the importance of taking time to process thoughts and feelings related to growing up in a family where sex addiction was present, why feeling anger is helpful and some helpful tools on how to move forward and stop the generational cycle.
Thu, September 03, 2020
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Jill Manning who is excited to announce the launch of a digital download store that offers therapeutic handouts and worksheets specifically designed for betrayed partners. Well-designed and trauma-informed, these resources are easy to integrate into clinical or coaching work, including group therapy.
Thu, August 27, 2020
Partners need a guide to heal and today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Beth Denison who is passionate about helping women find hope and healing after sexual betrayal. She developed materials that combine scriptural insight and sound psychoeducational information with a trauma sensitive model to guide women through a path of recovery. This was published in her new workbook called 12-Week Partner Recovery Guide: Journey to Healing from Sexual Betrayal. She coaches partners both one-on-one and in groups as she leads them through the workbook.
Thu, August 20, 2020
One of the toughest reactions and responses to partner betrayal is figuring out what boundaries you might need to feel safe. Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Boundaries Expert Aarti Chidambaram. Aarti believes that boundaries are only words if there are not strong consequences. She will be discussing "Boundary Challenges" that partners face.She will be discussing "Layered Consequences and how this empowers partners to hold a space for what a partner will accept in her relationship. Aarti wants partners to have her empowerment tool ICE-R as it supports healthy boundaries.
Thu, August 13, 2020
Carol the Coach interviews Brian Martin who works with partners to show them how to assess whether the addict is working on his recovery in an efficient way. He will also be talking about how to recognize shame in an addict and how to interface with shame and anger appropriately.
Thu, August 06, 2020
Carol the Coach wants you have tools that cof the self. It will help you with your healing and it will help you in your restoration so that you can move towards more restoration You will want to listen as Jen Coles shares tools and tips to be your best person. There are many great tools and exercises available to partners of sex addicts as they go through their healing journey. Jennifer’s signature approach to coaching is called ACE. “Awareness creates Choice which then Empowers”. To that end, her staple tools include the Personal Chaos Index, Values Assessment, and The Wheel of Life. We will introduce to these tools and how they’re used during our conversation today.
Thu, July 30, 2020
Repeat of the 2018 show with APSATS Gaslighting expert Sarah Morales who help you figure out if you are being manipulated.
Thu, July 23, 2020
We are living through unprecedented times right now. Motherhood alone is challenging and difficult, but with the added stressors in today’s world AND experiencing betrayal trauma it can feel like you are drowning every day. Today’s segment will talk about the survival mechanisms moms can be forced into and hopefully bring some normalization and sanity around being a good enough parent in today’s landscape. How to give yourself a break while still being the best parent you can be and utilize concrete skills to show up for yourself and your kids.
Thu, July 16, 2020
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Coach Julie StOnge who wants to help partners to know that they worthy no matter what has happened to them. Julie explains, "My relationship with me was never that good. I have come to realize with partners that aside from cultural binds that may hold them in fear of change, there is a break down with their own relationships with self. I work on this simultaneously with partners. The three areas of focus for every partner are goals you can control, self worth, and data collection." Self worth means talking nice to yourself, seeing your history and knowing you are trustworthy, respecting your time and feelings, knowing you have innate worth, and believing in your potential. Negative self talk starts at a very young age. Negative film also runs early in life. The pattern can be broken with a dialectical approach of mindfulness training, embracing change, and embracing acceptance. Having the right resources can help you to change your life!
Thu, July 09, 2020
We all know that Sex Addicts often times fear that they don't possess the intuition to know how to be sensitive to others. Josh Nichols believes it might be just the oposite. In this interview Carol the Coach and Joshua Nichols will be discussing a recent article he wrote entitled “Managing Your Superpower: What Mister Rogers Has in Common with Sex Addicts.” This is part 2 of a 2 part series. In essence, Josh believes that Fred Rogers, commonly known as Mister Rogers, and many sex addicts have something very unique in common – they are empaths. Empaths have what seems like a natural ability to feel and experience the emotional energy around them. Whereas Fred Rogers seemed to understand and harness this energy, sex addicts are often overwhelmed by it. Mister Rogers somehow figured out how to manage this superpower and use it productively in his life. For sex addicts, these intense feelings have become unmanageable; hence the reason for using sex and sexuality as means for coping. Partners want their spouses to develop the skills to be more sensitive and Josh is going to share what he does to help these menget in touch with a skill they may already possess. Join us for an interesting dialogue about empathy!
Thu, July 02, 2020
We all know that Sex Addicts often times lack empathy. Well Josh Nichols believes it might be just the oposite. In this interview Carol the Coach and Joshua Nichols will be discussing a recent article he wrote entitled “Managing Your Superpower: What Mister Rogers Has in Common with Sex Addicts.” This is part 1 of a 2 part series. In essence, Josh believes that Fred Rogers, commonly known as Mister Rogers, and many sex addicts have something very unique in common – they are empaths. Empaths have what seems like a natural ability to feel and experience the emotional energy around them. Whereas Fred Rogers seemed to understand and harness this energy, sex addicts are often overwhelmed by it. Mister Rogers somehow figured out how to manage this superpower and use it productively in his life. For sex addicts, these intense feelings have become unmanageable; hence the reason for using sex and sexuality as means for coping. Join us for an interesting dialogue about empathy!
Thu, June 25, 2020
EMDR is an effective trauma treatment for partner betrayal. Find out how it can help you!
Thu, June 18, 2020
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Ericka Young who is a Financial Coach and wrote the book, Naked and Unashamed 10 Money Conversations Every Couple Must Have. She gives solid advice for couples who want to transform the way they deal with and manage their money.
Thu, June 04, 2020
Repeat show about how to find the right polygraph examiner.
Thu, May 28, 2020
Following the 3rd phase of the APSATS MPTM Model requires that you see your self as a survivor and a thriver. Carol the Coach is interviewing Gaelyn Rae Emerson who has created a rare and exciting new project for partners of sex addicts. Focused and fueled toward post-traumatic growth, Rediscovering Me is an “out of the box” kind of partners support group—one that’s perfect for women who are wondering “what’s next” on the journey of healing from sexual betrayal. Rediscovering Me is a refreshing opportunity for women who are sick and tired of resources that revolve around sex addiction, an endeavor that begins by asking the question, “Who Am I Beyond My Trauma?” Gaelyn is here today with two of her colleagues, Jacki Elsom and Esther Elmer. The three of them are eager to introduce this project to our Betrayal Trauma Radio listeners!
Thu, May 21, 2020
Coach Andrea has noticed that woman of color have specific challenges as partners in recovery and she wanted to talk about why the African American community may have different needs or expectations around problematic sexual behavior. She and Carol the Coach will be talking about the need for research around her hypothesis.
Thu, May 14, 2020
Carol the Coach will be interviewed by Caroline Brown who wanted to learn more about partner betrayal from a partner perspective. She offered to interview Carol to help listeners know what they should look for when seeking help the "APSATS Way."
Thu, May 07, 2020
Frequently churches are the first responders to help couples facing infidelity and sex addiction. Often times they are ill equipped to know how to handle it from a partner sensitive approach. Hence, they do more damage to the partner and contribute to her pain. Listen as Marie Celano talks about how she is educating the church leaders to provide services to partners from a trauma perspective. This will be an inspiring conversation that may motivate you to set up services in your community.
Thu, April 23, 2020
Carol the Coach is interviewing Rebecca Maestas who is going to start two Help Her Heal groups for 14 weeks that will also includes a couple's component to teach the couple how to do the work to help her heal. This is a first for sex addicts and their partners and so we are excited to be finding out about this innovative program.
Thu, April 16, 2020
Today, Carol the Coach interviews Richard Butler who professes that he had to use a variety of tools and experiences to solidify his recovery. His recovery activities have included: Intensives, Couples Retreats, Counselling, Coaching, 12 Step Programs, and Mindfulness Tools. Listen as he shares his inspiring story of recovery, redemption and giving back!
Thu, April 09, 2020
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Shann Davis who leads a confidential women’s ministry group at Lakepointe Church in Rockwall, Texas called Sisters on a Journey for women who have been betrayed by their spouse’s sexual sin (affairs, both physical or emotional.) Her goal is to help empower the women through Jesus Christ and find their identity in Him. Most women enter the class traumatized so they spend the first several weeks learning various tools for stabilization and self-care. The group discovers through scripture who God says they are which helps begin to dispel the lies that partners come to believe as a result of the spouse’s deception and gaslighting. By finding their identity in Christ, they give up the victim role and embrace the strength and power believers have in Christ. They work on understanding they cannot fix anyone else and talk about boundaries and what those look like. A turning point for the women is when they share their personal story and are affirmed by the others in the group.
Thu, April 02, 2020
Where I think I can serve your audience is talking about connection and attachment and why coming out and volunteering for Sidewalk Talk and getting more active connection can be part of recovery. Carol the Coach is going to interview marital therapist Traci Ruble who will be sharinf what she has learned about connection from listening to her clients. She will be talking specifically about her work with couples. She does alot of pre-emptive work talking about sex and arousal as part of building a relationship vision. She continues to be amazed how few folks talk about their expectations for marriage or prior to launching in and find prevention can be really great medicine by getting clear on expectations. Fun fact: She and her husband got so clear on expectations that they made a list of everything they hated about each other and shared it with one another before they got married so they could agree they were not signing up for a fixer-upper but an "I see you and know what I am getting myself into" marriage.
Thu, March 26, 2020
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Richa Badami who is a master at making partners feel safe after their truama responses and triggers. In her book “Coming Home to the Heart – Transforming Trauma into Infinite Possibilities for Healing” Richa shares her story of sexual abuse as a child growing up in India, and her powerful journey of recovery from it. Years later, as a recovered partner herself, she brings all of her personal experience, training and intimate knowledge, to help support and empower her clients, guiding them on a path of restoration after betrayal recovery.
Thu, March 19, 2020
The Super Bowl half time show is cultural gas-lighting. Dolly Parton posing for Playboy at 75 and everyone applauding her because "she's still got it" is cultural gaslighting. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Lyschel Burket who will explain the ramifications of this phenomena.Cultural Gaslighting is the psychological manipulation in which our culture sows seeds of doubt in a targeted individual, situation, event, or moral thought. It makes the culture question their own memory, perception, or judgement, often times evoking a cognitive dissonance and other changes in personal value and worth such as low self esteem and self hate.Let's talk about what we can do to deal with this manipulation.
Thu, March 12, 2020
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Sara Schulting-Kranz who recently did a ted talk on forgiveness as a partner of betrayal. She is currently writing a book on forgiveness and has lots of experience guiding clients on their own healing journey outside of fours walls. She believes that nature and clarity help the process of forgiveness. Listen as she shares her story and the keys to finding forgiveness.
Thu, March 05, 2020
Join Carol the Coach who will be finding out more about Coach Andrea’s support group through Fully Alive Coaching Divorcefor divorced and separated partners. Going through partner betrayal is tough but combining it with a separation or divorce requires lots of support from others. Listen as Carol finds out about a support group that will help partners get through this and grow!
Thu, February 27, 2020
Carol the Coach knows that partners often get frustrated when their husbands attend so many meetings that they feel like a Recovery Widow. Today's guest, Carl Thomas wants to speak on the importance of "community" when it comes to finding freedom from things like compulsive internet behaviors and sex addiction. He has created a Live Free Community App and Small Groups Online to help men that may not have a face to face group to go to to get the support they deserve.
Thu, February 20, 2020
Women can endlessly worry about what their husbands are thinking when they see a provocative woman or image. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Drew Boa who wants to help Christian men stop using by helping them to learn how to interrupt their sexual fantasies. Listen as he explains how he got help and what he advises men to do to interrupt the arousal template that is driven by fantasy.
Thu, February 13, 2020
Nothing beats the power of Sisterhood. According to Brené Brown, “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Sarah Morales and Jenni Rochelle who will be providing a group coaching proram for partners to heal. The coaches explain "The reason why Sisterhood is such a super healing power is that it offers women the opportunity to show up and be seen, heard and witnessed by other women who know exactly how you feel." Sisterhood offers you all the other elements that are so essential to your healing - safety, self-regulation, support, story, spirituality and strategy. You can literally get all of that from Sisterhood and one of the best ways to get the Sisterhood that you need is through a group coaching program just for women who have been through what you’ve been through.
Thu, February 06, 2020
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Judee Alvarado and Julie StOnge, about the faith conference that represents a collaboration of organizations coming together to support women who have experienced betrayal and abuse in their intimate relationships. Partners, counselors, coaches, and those in ministry are encouraged to come. All are APSATS trained in the The Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model. One of the main issues addressed will be the deconstruction and reconstruction of faith. Faith can be broken down due to incorrect clergy advice and handlings, unanswered prayers, the acting out partner unwilling to enter sobriety and recovery, an incorrect victim theology, and years lost with a person mishandling emotions and staying in addiction. Barbara Steffens, Laurie Hall, Catherine Etherington, Lyschel Burket, Kristin Carey and Karen Rellos will address how faith can be rebuilt and we can find our true selves again. There will be a powerful time of reflection, prayer, and connection led by Barbara Steffens at the end.
Thu, January 30, 2020
Slavery to work, distractions, people and emotions block us from feeling like a priority in our relationships and this affects how we experience sexuality and intimacy. For betrayed partners these distractions become triggers that eat away at the trust the couple is trying to repair. Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing co-author of Help. Her. Heal. Allan J. Katz, who has written a new book, Hey! What About Me? which is a book about how to make oneself and others a priority. For partners to heal, they need to know how to temper out of control emotions and how to begin to trust and protect themselves. Instead of spending all their time working they need to balance that with play and not remain a human doing, rather a human being. When emotions shut them down, they need to know how to deal with resentments, shame, guilt, fear and eventual forgiveness. He tells sex addicts that in order to become a priority in your partner’s eyes you both have to work on replacing character defects with healthy character traits. This is the spiritual journey about faith, love vs. indifference, generosity vs. deprivation, diligence vs. laziness and the difference between sobriety and serenity. A partner has to learn how to trust other people again because after trauma this is difficult. But, also being able to trust oneself is equally important.
Thu, January 23, 2020
Every traumatized partner asks the question, "Will I ever be able to trust my addict spouse again?" and every person struggling with sex addiction comes to the realization that dishonesty and a lack of accountability have been a way of life for way too long. Today Carol the Coach, will be interviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is going to discuss the use of a lie detector exam in the recovery process. She will inform us how the exam can provide benefit for both the addict and the partner and she would know because she uses them individually, and in her highly sought after 3 day intensives.
Thu, January 16, 2020
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jenni Rochelle who has written a guidebook on how to survive the trauma of sexual betrayal. It is free and can be found at www.sexaddictionguidebook.com. She will be sharing 6 essential elements for getting through the process of partner betrayal. .Jenni has a heart for partners and she is currently working on a Masters in Spiritual Formation and so she will also be speaking about spiritual truama and how partners need to find support in their faith community so caregivers need to find assistance in making that a smooth process for the partner.
Thu, January 09, 2020
Sexual Betrayal sends you on a journey that can feel like despair and when it results in divorce, it can leave you feeling totally overwhelmed, Listen as Carol the Coach talks to Kim Petroni who went through that experience and vowed to help women get through the proceses easier.She has practical tools and tips that she believes will make your journey easier!
Fri, January 03, 2020
Repeat of APSATS President Laurie Hall talking about having read the first book on Partner Betrayal
Thu, December 26, 2019
What is a therapeutic seperation and how can it be helpful to the marriage.
Thu, December 19, 2019
Healthy sexuality is a topic that many families have been silent on, while culture is shouting at a louder volume than ever. As parents, you have the opportunity to provide a healthier pathway for good education. Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Tracy and Rodney Wright who wrote a book, How To Talk With Your Kids About Sex. This book focuses on 10 Principles to help parents learn to create healthy family cultures to connect and communicate with their kids.
Thu, December 12, 2019
Betrayal effects the brain and leaves partners having trouble with racing thoughts, speech difficulties and problems making decisions. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Kristi Knight an expert in neurofeedback who has conistently worked with partners to get their brains back on line.Find out how this treatment can help you to feel safe again and manage the triggers of partner betrayal.
Thu, December 05, 2019
Resourcing is the quickest way for partner's to get their brain back online.Today, I will be talking to Richa Badami who is an APSATS trained personal transformation coach. She brings nearly 20 years of coaching, workshop and retreat leading experience to partners who have been impacted by someone else's problematic sexual behavior. Her approach is not only partner sensitive, it is trauma informed and mindfulness based. In her book "Coming Home to the Heart-Transforming Trauma into Infinite Possibilities for Healing" Richa shares her story of sexual abuse as a child growing up in India, and her poweful journey of recovery from it. She also is a recovered partner so Richa knows about trauma!
Thu, November 28, 2019
My client who is an expert regarding boundaries to keep her self safe shares her journey with other partners.
Thu, November 21, 2019
Beth Denison has been married to a pastor for 36 years and her story includes their recovery together. They started a recovery ministry and have found some key components to helping couples heal. Beth is a Certified Life Coach and has written a 12 Week Recovery Workbook for groups. Listen as she shares her amazing story!
Thu, November 14, 2019
Carol will be interviewing Liza Young, who is a counselor who has a passion for helping women through sexual betrayal. Liza willl share how she has seen shame interfere with the progress toward healing and how to work through it and move towards empowerment. She will talk about the steps one most take to feel good enough and valued again.
Thu, November 07, 2019
Repeat of a show on traum
Thu, October 31, 2019
Repeat of the show introducing Laurie Hall who will describe her vision for APSATS with Carol the Coach.
Thu, October 24, 2019
Find out the benefits of EMDR and how it treats trauma. Repeat of an earlier show
Thu, October 17, 2019
Windell Gill will be speaking with Carol today on the program that he has developed for sex addicts wo want to become helpers tward their partner's healing. Creating Safe Space: How to Help the Healing When You Did the Hurting is a 12 week course that helps men to learn the skills to rebuild safety and trust.
Thu, October 10, 2019
People will tell you that "it's only. looking at images." But we know that can taklooking at adult images can take anyone down and today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Joshua Shea who is a recovering ponography addict who made the error of engaging a teenage girl in an online chatroom for which he was arrested and served 6 months in jail. He has gotten clean, and has made it his mission to help others with the addiction.Listen as he talks about his struggles to get back up and create purpose in his life.
Thu, October 03, 2019
Repeat of the show
Thu, September 26, 2019
Larry Billotta experienced betrayal in his marriage and uncovered several priniples that provided relief to men and women affected by betrayal. He believes his childhood programming also contributed to his issues and he is going to share with Carol the Coach how he unhooked from this programming.
Thu, September 26, 2019
Repeat of the show
Thu, September 19, 2019
Carol the Coach interviews Jen Cole who has handpicked Dave Robbins whose partner sensitivety allows the coupleship to get a good polygraph assessment.
Thu, September 12, 2019
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Michelle who has wanted to inspire partners by sharing her story of her husband's out of control sexually addictive behavior and the havoc it cause in her family. Michelle was able to take back her life by supporting her husband into getting the help he needed and working towards creating the family life that she had always wanted.Despite the trauma, Michelle was able to find the positives that his crisis would bring the family.
Thu, September 05, 2019
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing James Annear of Core Relationship Recovery who has researched the attachment styles of betrayed partners and has found extreme wounding that effects deep trust and intimacy. Today, he will be talking about the 4 attachment styles and how they are effected when "heart wounding" occurs.
Thu, August 29, 2019
APSATS president Laurie Hall and Carol the Coach will be talking about strategies they use to help partners heal. They will be discussing Internal Family System work and Empathy techniques that restore safety, stabalization and healing from grief. Learn how to manage painful emotions to help you heal from sexual betrayal.
Thu, August 22, 2019
Today, Carol will be interviewing Tim Kiernon who has worked at Prescott House after graduating from their program. He is a proponent of longer term treatemt as he firmly believes that the more time an addict has to work on his recovery, the better off his family has for their own healing. If your spouse has been struggling with good sobriety, this may be the answer!
Thu, August 15, 2019
Today Carol the Coach will be talking with Amy whose husband committed the worst form of betrayal, he cheated on her with their adult daughter and had a baby. Listen how Amy talks about how she is restoring her sense of trust after this horrific sexual betrayal.
Thu, August 08, 2019
There is no greater pain than the pain of sexual betrayal and today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jennifer Josey a Licensed Marriage and Family therapist who is also a CSAT. She will be sharing what the most important things the SA can do to repair trut in his/her relationship. She also will be giving tips on the partner can do to heal from the betrayal.
Thu, August 01, 2019
Tim Stein is a partner sensitive therapist who wrote Gifts of Recovery to help men and women in recovery from sex addiction find healing. He believes it has great merit for the partner in recovery because each day iincludes a quote, a therapy lesson and or a therapy metaphor and much of the book has a relational lesson too!
Sat, July 20, 2019
Repeat Show of whether women are in abusive relationships if they love and addict.
Thu, July 18, 2019
Sex addicts who knowingly have sex with their spouses while having unprotected sex with others are violating their spouses by undermining her self-determination over her body. When the partner of the SA has no idea she's been "having sex" with her spouse's sex workers, a crime has been committed. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Alex Katehakis, Ph.D, Clinical Director of Center for Healthy Sex, who believes that sex in a relationship where intimate deception is taking place is a non-consensual act and leaves many partners feeling "raped" having been exposed to multiple sex partners and the potential to contract an STI, some of which can be fatal. Find out why few women get honest enough with themselves about the gravity of this type of gross violation!
Thu, July 11, 2019
Carol the Coach is interviewing Cathy Walls who works at PCS - Psychological Counselling Services - and is the first to offer the APSATS Multidimensional Partner Model for partners who want intensive treatment. Listen as Cathy helps you to determine whether this would be a good fit for you!
Fri, July 05, 2019
Carol the Coach talks with experts on partner betrayal.
Thu, June 27, 2019
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dan Drake and Janice Caudill on their new book, Full Disclosure: How To Share The Truth After Sexual Betrayal. They recognize that doing a full disclosure can be both daunting and difficult, so they will be talking about their step by step approach they have created in their new workbooks. They have participated in hundeds of disclosures and have years of experience and are committed to helping you navigate a complicated yet vital part of healing after sexual betayal.
Thu, June 20, 2019
Carol the Coach is talking with Mathew and Joanna Raabsmith who work together helping couples and individuals find healing and transformation when sexual betrayal occurs. Today, they will share their own story of healing and restoration from the damage of addiction and betrayal in their marriage. They seek to use their training and experience to empower other couples to find healing and wholeness in their own unique journey.
Fri, June 14, 2019
Coach Jen is going to be interviewing Carol the Coach. The show has been running for a year now and Coach Jen thought it was time for you to get to know the host "up front and personal." She will be asking Carol about her personal journey so that the listeners will know what obstacles that she has had to face in her life.
Thu, June 06, 2019
Listen as Andy Johns talks with Carol the Coach about the nuances of working with male partners.
Thu, May 30, 2019
How do you help your daughters work through sex addiction when it ravages your family. Kristin Cary talks about a program that has helped daughters work through their trauma and band together recognizing that they are not alone. Daughters in the Battle has a unique program that gives daughters the support that they deserve.
Thu, May 23, 2019
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jean who has struggled with her husbands sexual addiction. She was able to work through the addiction and has come out feeling like her marriage has survived and thrived. Jean is now helping others to get through this process and she wants to share the resources to build your tool box and come out of this with a personal sense of power.
Thu, May 16, 2019
Today Carol interviews Anne who is the producer and host of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast. She spent years of attempting to help her husband recover from his sexual addiction, yet problems worsened and he was arrested for domestic violence. Anne has made it her mission to help other partners keep themselves safe and she would like to share her journey with us!
Thu, May 09, 2019
Carol the Coach is interviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck who believes when a couple enters treament for sex addiction recovery, their lives have been turned upside down and both parties will most likely be engaginging in abusive behaviors towards one another. Their relationship is in turmoil and they are experiencing a plethora of feelings. A good counselor has to be able to address and identify the abuse and neglect cycle that exists so that healing can occur. Dr. Hollenbeck believes that it can be advantageous to see the addict, the partner, and the couple.She is going to talk about what the couple can do to provide each other with safety for healing.
Thu, May 02, 2019
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dan and Angie Andrew who want the community to understand the difference betwwen sobriety and true recovery. They believe that the coupleship with thrive when both people do their work and support each other's recovery. They will discuss the tools for recovery that keep the lines of communication open and promote good self care.
Thu, April 25, 2019
Carol the Coach will be interviewing partner specialist and author Mari A. Lee, who co-wrote Facing Heartbreak and Healing from Betrayal. She is going to share her own story and he work with both addicts and partners. Partners will leave this show with resources, information and a renewed sense of hopeful empowerment for their own healing and reclaiming of self in the aftermath of intimate betrayal trauma
Thu, April 18, 2019
Carol the Coach interviews Cherie, a partner who had to change her perspective about marriage after she learned of her husband's betrayal that required a 65 day stay in rehab. This woman has totally changed her perspective on marriage and has redesigned her life to find meaning from the tragedy. She believes that recovering together is a blessing from God. Find out how she not only survived the crisis but now has thrived from it.
Thu, April 11, 2019
Carol the Coach is interviewing Laurie Hall, new president of APSATS, who shares her passion for partners and the vision she has for APSATS going further, Laurie talks about her groundbreaking book, An Affair of the Mind which was one of the first books ever published on how sex addiction affected her family. Laurie has always wanted to inform partners on how they could protect themselves and their family .Find out why helping to guide APSATS is part of the legacy that Laurie wants to continue!
Thu, April 04, 2019
Male Partners Speak Up! We know that male partners are hesitant to speak up because of the stigma they feel about having been betrayed. Today, Carol the Coach interviews APSATS candidate Andy Johns who wants to help male partners get the services that they deserve. Find out what resources are out there for male partners.
Thu, March 28, 2019
Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Sharon Rinearson and James Annear share their excting "We-ness Model" of healing that can build trust and safety for couples dealing with sexual betrayal. Their homey healing cener is a testament to their personal therapeutic styles and their passion for helping couples traverse this painful journe of chaos and pain into a balanced life of love, truth, and trust.
Thu, March 21, 2019
Helping Couples Heal is a comprehensive in-person and online program that was developed based on a workshop that Marnie Breeker facilitated for many years woth Dr. Omar Minwalla. She now offers it with Duane Osterlind whose mission is to help individual struggling with process addiction. Marnie and Duane share the tools and strategies to heal from relational trauma. Carol the Coach will help share why this proraming is so powerful!
Thu, March 14, 2019
Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing David Essel who will be explaining common issues that plague partners who have abuse in their past. David is going to identify the symptoms and manifestations of PTSD and help partners work through the deep healing that needs to occur to work through the trauma that accompanies sexual abuse and betrayal. Listen as he shares some healthy resources to help balance the trauma.
Thu, March 07, 2019
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Karen Rellos, APSATS Coach, who is a partner herself and has an amazing story about the relationship healing that occurred in her life. She feels that groups were instrumental in that journey and she wants to let parnters know how they can find sanity in an unsafe situation. We will be joined by 3 other partners who have experienced the benefits and blessings of group!
Thu, February 28, 2019
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Catherine Etherington who will be talking about the Life Recovery Program recently launched by Naked Truth Project.. The Life Recovery Program is the "next step in support groups" bridging the gap from sovriety to rlational recovery within marriages and committed relationships.
Thu, February 21, 2019
Carol the Coach is interviewing MJ Denis who defines a Therapeutic Seperation as a process that occurs while the couple is working towards reconcilliation but needs the seperation for safety. Find out what the guidelines are when considering doing a Therapeutic Separation.
Thu, February 14, 2019
APSATS believes that partner betrayal requires a therapist or coach who understands trauma. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Angela Bolen, LMFTA who specializes in family sytems and understands that it is imperative to look at betrayal through a trauma lens so that the professional can help the client understand what is happening to her when she discovers that her husband is a sex addict. This is a great show for anyone who wants to understand what is happening neurologically to the brain after discovery.
Thu, February 07, 2019
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Gaelyn Emerson who is a full-time life, relationship and divorce recovery coach, “down in the trenches” with men, women and couples reeling (and healing!) together from the traumatic impact of sexual betrayal. In addition to her work with recovering couples, Gaelyn is a uniquely passionate advocate for women whose relationships DON'T survive, creating programs for divorced, divorcing and/or separated partners of sex addicts. Gaelyn is credentialed through Impact Coaching Academy, the International Coach Federation and the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists. She also utilizes advanced training in problematic sexual behavior, abandonment, abuse, grief, trauma and peer facilitation. Gaelyn coaches clients through her private practice, Women Ever After, LLC (womeneverafter.com) and is also onstaff at CORE Relationship Recovery. Gaelyn will be talking about helping partners deal with the transition of separation and divorc
Thu, January 31, 2019
Carol the Coach will be interviewing President Barb Steffens as she steps down from APSATS. Barbara Steffens was the recepienct of the Carnes Award in 2018 for poutstanding contributions in the field. She will be talking about the vision that APSATS continues to hold as the premier Partner Sensitive Training Program in the world. APSATS trains clinicans and coaches internationally to provide services to partners who have been impacted by loving/living with someone with sexual addiction. During the interview, we will talk about the history of APSATS, the Multidimentsonal Partner Trauma Model and the advances that have been made in the field as well as the hopes and vision for the future of APSATS.
Thu, January 24, 2019
cSo many partners have to face gaslighting when they are uncovering their spouses addiction. Even after recovery they will find themselves wondering if gaslighting is continuing to occur. Carol the Coach is going to be interviewing Sarah Moreles who developed a self study course on gaslighting. Listen as she helps you to determine the strategies to combat this psychological betrayal.
Thu, January 17, 2019
Shme is recognized as one of the most painful emotional experiences and plays a tremendous role in the cycle of addiction. Shame can haunt partners too and can derail a partners healing. Today, Carol the Coach is talking to "Shame Specialist" Jake Porter who will talk about the powerful emotion of shame and it's more powerful antidote, vulnerability.
Thu, January 10, 2019
Dealing with an addict can wreak havoc on your health. Author Cat Clark writes about this in her memoir Sitting on the Porch Swing. In her book, she details how sex addiction effected her immune systme and how partners need to increase their self care as they tend to their own recovery. She dealt with her husband's sex addiction for over 19 years and believes that their treatment would have been expediated if they had seen a counselor that understood sex addiction and partner betrayal. Cat has some special tips for partners who are on the roller coaster of sex addiction!
Thu, January 03, 2019
Carol the Coach interviews Shawna Meek who is running Restoration Partner Groups to help women find encouragement, accountability and hope after betrayal trauma has occured. She knows that from research that groups can better heal and find hope from others that have gone through these heart-shattering experiences.
Thu, December 27, 2018
If you are wondering if you are being abused in your relationship...this show will help you learn about techniques that SA's may use to keep you from discovering them.
Tue, December 25, 2018
Are you having trouble feeling a solid connection with God? Listen as Carol the Coach speaks with experts who will deepen your relationship with your Higher Power.
Thu, December 20, 2018
Don't you wish that there was a "Do's and Don'ts List" for people who work with partners? Professionals, pastors, friends and family are well meaning but they often times are unclear as to how to support a woman who is suffering from sexual betrayal. Lyschel Burket has put together a list of Do's and Don't to help anyone who is on the front line and wants to have some healthy guidelines for helping Partners heal and deal with partner betrayal.
Thu, December 13, 2018
Kids are smart and they can sense or know when Discovery has occured yet they tend to get lost in the shuffle once betrayal trauma surfaces. Carol the Coach interviews Jessica L. Eidens,CSAT, CCPS who is a specialist helping families get through the pain, tension and stress that comes with problematic sexual behavior.
Thu, December 06, 2018
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck who is a specialist in helping couples heal from relational betrayal. She is going to discuss the topic of Micro-Cheating and discussing how you can identify it in your relationship.
Thu, November 29, 2018
Although well meaning, people in your faith community can betray you because they don't have enough education and information about partner betrayal and trauma. Carol the Coach interview's Karen Trifiletti who has made it her mission to help faith communities become more partner sensitive. She helps partners to deal with the retraumatization that can occur with her faith community when well intentioned pastors or leaders victimize the partner or give bad advise. Listen as Karen gives examples of key identifiers that will help a partner to know how to handle this institutional trauma.
Thu, November 22, 2018
Happy Thanksgiving...I am with my family today but I am airing a show on partner resources to help guide you to accessing more support. Talk to you next week at our regular time! Carol
Thu, November 15, 2018
Carol the Coach is interiewing Christian Hutcheson, an expert in couples therapy. Dr Christian believes that she has found a technique that moves couples into deeper recovery when they have reached a plateau in their couples work.She believes that she has found the secret to enriching the couples relationship and she wants to share it with you!
Thu, November 08, 2018
I am training Clinicians and Coaches this week so this is a replay of a show that talks about how to build your sexual relationship in a way that makes you feel safe! We will see you back next week for live Betrayal Trauma Radio.
Thu, November 01, 2018
EMDR is a wonderful therapy designed to help you integrate the traumatic experience in a manner that allows you to recall the memory without feeling intense trauma. EMDR was created to help you integrate the traumatic experience so that you process trauma and build more resiliency. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Cheri Hammer who has a specialty of working with betrayal trauma and teaching partners how they can manage their triggers to live calmer lives.
Thu, October 25, 2018
Judy Kelly is an LCSW and a CSAT who is trained in Dr. Brene Brown's work on shame resiliency. She works with couples experiencing sexual addiction and wants to help partners work through emotional self regulation and shame resiliency. Carol the Coach will be inteviewing Judy on her Daring Greatly and Rising Strong Workshops that she does to promote healing and good self-esteem.
Thu, October 18, 2018
While gaslightiing is something that is an issue in many, many relationships, the gaslighting experience is not always the same. Like most things, there is a scale or a degree that a sex addict may use gas lighting to maintain his addiction. Listen as Carol the Coachh interviews gaslighting expert Sarah Morales who wants to share the red flags so that you will be able to identify it. She maintains that you must know what it really is so that free yourself from the harmful effects.
Thu, October 11, 2018
One of the greatest casualties to sexual addiction is when a partner has to deal with triggers. Dorit Reichental has developed a Trigger Busters technique that sex addicts can use with their partners to assist in managing the triggers. Listen as she and Carol the Coach dialogue about how a husband can be the support she needs to quiet the triggers!
Thu, October 04, 2018
So many partners want to give back to other partners but are not sure how to start. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Coach Cat who shares her own personal story of being a partner, and having limited supports to get her through the crisis. What did she do? She got the needed training to work with partners and give back by becoming APSATS trained and creating curriculum for the Naked Truth Project in the UK. She is living proof of how you can grow stronger from this crisis!
Thu, September 27, 2018
Partners of sex addicts experience an emotional roller coaster due to the unique and powerful trauma of sexual betrayal. Lisa will be explaining to Carol the Coach the phenomenon of triggering and the potential damage this can cause, outlining her favorite methods for successful namigation of these occurrences i the daily lives of partners.
Thu, September 13, 2018
Anyone who has experienced the trauma of betrayal knows the reality of the dreaded triggers that plague the lives of partners. In the context of the relationship in which the betrayal occurred, these triggers often merge with the addict's own relational trauma scripts which greatly affects a partners sense of safety. Listen as Carol the Coach interviews "Trigger Expert" Jake Porter, who has a method that your spouse can use to make you feel safe and help work you through the trigger.
Thu, September 06, 2018
Listen as Carol interviews a sex addict who wants to share his recovery from addiction and the role the polygraph has played in his healing and growth. He wants to communicate the powerful and positive impact the polygraph has had on his recovery and sexual brokenness and the positive impact it has made on his life and marriage.
Thu, August 30, 2018
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Tim Stein MFT, CSAT, CCPS who has made it his mission to deal with the aftermath of sexual addiction by using a partner sensitive approach. He will be discussing the benefits to sex addicts, the betrayed partners and the relationships of incorportating a partner sensitive approach into the sex addict's individual and group therapy work.
Thu, August 23, 2018
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Lyschel Burket who is a Lead Hope Caster for Hope Redefined Ministries, an organization that assists Churches in providing partner sensitive guidance when sexual betrayal has occured. Lyschel discovered first hand how churches, although well meaning, did not provide the proper guidance to partners and she has made it her mission to educate churches to minister to partners to restore hope and mend deeper wounds that occur as a result of partner betrayal.
Thu, August 16, 2018
There is a growing awareness, research and appropriate treatment modalities about the traumatic impact of learning of a loved one's addiction, However, there is a distinct absence of research seeking more information about the sexual impact of the addiction on the partner's sexual experience. Carol the Coach is interviewing Jeanne Vattuone who will be helping us understand sexual trauma and how this effects partners and how they can heal from it.
Thu, August 09, 2018
Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Evelyn who has a story to share about loving a sex addict who has been in and out of recovery. She wants you to know that despite the intense pain behind her story, she has managed to grow stronger. She has vowed to help other women on this journey. She is currently writing a memoir to help provide a guide that will empower other women.
Thu, August 02, 2018
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Marie Kriebs an expert in intimacy disorders, partner betrayal and vulnerability. As an APSATS trained therapist, she believes it is important to educate betrayed partners about healthy intimacy and the importance of personal growth and self awareness. She will be sharing some of the myths about vulnerability and helping our listeneers toidentify how and when they can be more vulnerable.
Thu, July 26, 2018
Relationship Betrayal Trauma Recovery is essential for a person to heal from the wounds of being betrayed by their spouse or intimate partner. However, knowing what to do when you discover the secret betrayals can be overwhelmingly confusing. Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck who specializes in helping individuals and couples heal the wounds of Relationship Betrayal. Today she is going to help partners understand what to do from discovering their spouse's secret betrayal to expectations for the process of seeking professional help.
Thu, July 19, 2018
Things have changed and what we know at APSATS is that once an addict is in good recovery, we need to start working on the early fundamentals of couples work to help the partner feel safe. Listen as Jeanne Vattuone talks about the principles of working with the coupleship after discovery, recovery, and disclosure
Thu, July 12, 2018
Boundaries are essenntial in good sexual addiction recovery. Not only do they keep you safe, but they let your spouse know what the consequences are if they are violated. Carol and Pam have hammered out some good boundaries and consequences that have worked well in Pam's family. Find out how to create healthy boundaries or fine tune the ones you already have!
Thu, July 05, 2018
Carol The Coach will be interviewing David Robbins who is a certified polygrapher and uses them regularly to help sex addicts build trust in their wives and to increase the accountability factor that helps to keep them sober. He has given over 200 polygraphs to sex addicts and finds it particularly helpful after disclosures. Listen to this facinating interview and decide if you want to use polygraphs in your relationship!
Thu, June 28, 2018
Carol the Coach interviews Coach Karen who has lived through partner betrayal and shares her inspirational story of how she and her husband healed together. She explains that recovery work is necessary for both the partner and spouse but then they must work on the coupleship to regain the intimacy that they lost. Coach Karen will share some thoughts, tools and suggestions for those who are beginnng to navigate this road back and desire to know what true reconciliation might look like.Listen as Coach Karen shares her wisdom from her own personal story!
Thu, June 21, 2018
Carol the Coach will be interviewing Anne Blythe, Founder and CEO of Betrayal Trauma Recovery which helps women dealing with the abusive nature of their relationship with ography users. Anne explains that coming to grips with the fact that you’re in an abusive relationship is a process, and Betrayal Trauma Recovery aims to help women through the process and get to safety - hopefully with their relationship in tact because BTR believes people can change. To ensure your emotional, physical, and sexual safety through the process, there is a specific, proven path, set out by the APSATS multi-dimensional partner trauma model that is followed exclusively at BTR because all BTR coaches are APSATS certified and work together as a team to support clients through the process. BTR has daily online support groups and individual sessions for clients. Listen as Carol shares these important services for you!
Thu, June 14, 2018
Today, Carol will be interviewing Barbara Steffens, APSATS President, who will be sharing the history of why she started APSATS and how partners of sexual addiction can seek the safety they deserve. Nothing destroys trust like sexual betrayal. Beyond broken vows, a woman discovers that the man she loves has been compulsively visiting adult websites,chatting on line or having multiple affairs must deal with the devastating blows to her self-image and self-worth. She must grapple with the fact that the man she loved and thought that she knew has lied and deceived her. Where does she go for help? Carol the Coach will be hosting this show to help you find the strength and the resources to get you through this crisis. She is an APSATS trained therapist who understands partner betrayal. She knows that you can get through this and wants APSATS to be your source for healing! Carol and APSATS have made it their mission to provide support as you navigate through the betrayal and as APSATS President Barbara Steffens says, "Find safety in an unsafe situation."
Wed, June 06, 2018
This is a description of the show that we have created for you as you deal with being a partner of a sex addict and work through the trauma and drama in your life. You didn't cause this, you can't cure it but you can keep yourself safe and we are going to help you figure out how to do it!
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