GoalLess: A Soccer Show
GoalLess is a podcast that highlights the passion, personalities, and pitch drama that make soccer beautiful ... and hilarious. Each week, the hosts kick around the biggest stories from The Champions League, featuring analysis, laughs, and great guests. What's the goal? You tell us! Brought to you by SmartLess Media, Meadowlark, with Paramount+
Thu, March 27, 2025
Like A Flying Sea Lion (Feat. Eli Lesser)
On this episode of Goalless… Trent Alexander Arnold is (reportedly) heading to Real Madrid, the guys react to a disastrous weekend for US Soccer, and look at some of the best moments in FA Cup upset history. Plus, Eli Lesser joins to talk promotion and relegation coming to America, his LA Galaxy origins, and the best away trips in MLS.
Thu, March 20, 2025
God's Gift To Us (Feat. Ray Hudson)
On this episode of Goalless… Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! The Carabao Cup final saw Newcastle lift their first trophy in 56 years, the race for top 5 is heating up, and could there be 11 English teams playing in Europe next season? Plus, the magisterial Ray Hudson joins us to talk about some of his best ever goal calls, his love of Newcastle, and working with Witty.
Fri, March 14, 2025
Can’t (Double) Touch This (Feat. Rebecca Lowe)
On this episode of Goalless… the Champions League quarterfinals are set. Alvarez’s double kick, Liverpool’s exit, Lamine Yamal’s brilliance, and does Manchester United’s newly proposed 2.6 billion dollar stadium look like an infected nipple? Plus, Rebecca Lowe joins to talk Crystal Palace’s FA Cup run, her time on Ted Lasso, walking to school with Peter Crouch, and more!
Fri, March 07, 2025
The Man Behind Wonka (Feat. Jon Glaser)
On this episode of Goalless… We’re onto the Champions League knockout stage, a “what if” starting 11, and a crazy injury in Germany. Plus, actor and comedian Jon Glaser joins us to talk about how FIFA made him a wolves fan, World Cup 94, the world’s best kits, Detroit City FC and finally, The Diet Mug Root Beer Dana Carvey Show.
Thu, February 27, 2025
Mystique of Legends (Feat. Arturo Castro)
On this episode of GoalLess… a busy weekend in the Premier League, Manchester United’s cost cutting measures, a quick look ahead to next week’s Champions League, and the guys relive some hilarious drunken sports moments. Plus, comedian and actor Arturo Castro joins to talk about Guatemala, Bayern Munich, Messi, and watching PSG Barcelona in between takes of Narcos.
Fri, February 21, 2025
The Legend of the Honduran Maradona (Feat. Kieran Morris)
On this episode of Goalless… A round up of the Champions League knockout stage, predictions for the round of 16, Villa 2 Liverpool 2, and Rafael Toloi literally and figuratively sees red. Plus, Kieran Morris joins us to tell us the story of the Honduran Maradona and his history of pranking Sky Sports.
Fri, February 14, 2025
Vague News (Feat. Rhys Darby)
On this episode of GoalLess… Man City vs Real Madrid, an amazing atmosphere at Celtic Park, and a Merseyside Derby for the ages. Plus Rhys Darby joins us to talk about his mom as a manager, Next Goal Wins, and we discover a new way to do the news.
Thu, February 06, 2025
Septic Bladder (Feat. John Skipper)
On this episode of GoalLess... the huge Man City v Arsenal match, Forrest nets a touchdown, a transfer window wrap up, the rise of the Saudi league, and a little Rihanna. Plus, sports media mogul and former President of ESPN John Skipper joins us to talk about how English lit made him a Tottenham fan, his dealings with FIFA, and so much more.
Thu, January 30, 2025
The Devil’s Hat Trick
On today’s GoalLess… a quick rundown of a WILD day of Champions League with all 18 games kicking off simultaneously, another round of club or country, Man City’s big win vs Chelsea, the worst debuts ever, and should Ange stay or go at Tottenham?
Thu, January 23, 2025
The Eagle Got Sacked Too (Feat. Christian Polanco)
On this episode of GoalLess… the Lazio falconer scandal, a huge round of Champions League matches including the brilliant Benfica - Barcelona game, a wild week at Manchester City, and Christian Polanco of The Cooligans joins us to get reminded that all of Everton’s ex’s are thriving. Plus, are Manchester United and Tottenham in a relegation battle? Tap in!
Thu, January 16, 2025
Kevin Bacon Looks Like a Kite
On this episode of GoalLess… we’re back from break! Witty and Russell hit the ground running by talking about all the things we missed over the last few weeks. Elon Musk to buy Liverpool? How can Man City fix their run of poor results? Plus, the viral Adam Armstrong video, Russ has a new special “Live at the London Palladium” out, and we play a new game called Club or Country (Band).
Thu, January 02, 2025
Shorts High and Tight, Mustaches Low and Loose (Feat. John Oliver)
On this episode of GoalLess... David Silva, Dunkirk, and Nut Shots. And that’s just in the first 7 minutes! We hung with John Oliver for an hour of fun to talk Accrington Stanley (who are they?!?), Bruno Fernandes, Virgil Van Dyke’s love of The Lion King, and plenty more.
Thu, December 26, 2024
Baptized by Alisson (Feat. Will Arnett)
On this episode of GoalLess… the host of SmartLess, and our boss, Will Arnett joins the show to discuss his passion football. The guys talk about Liverpool, Canada, swimming pool baptisms, sing some songs, and plenty more.
Thu, December 19, 2024
Russell, La Bombonera, and a Zorb (Feat. Richie Williams)
On this episode of GoalLess… it’s the final episode of 2024! The guys discuss the best derby’s in the world, UVM’s national championship, and ponder just how low can Man City actually go? Plus, we talk to former US U17 National Team Coach Richie Williams and dive into the new Paramount+ docuseries PULISIC.
Thu, December 12, 2024
Kaka, Dodo, or PeePee
On this episode of GoalLess… an action packed few days of Champions League, we play another round of Two Brazilians and a Lie, plus the final Witty’s Wonderkid. Tap in!
Mon, December 09, 2024
BONUS EPISODE: Salzburg, The Penicillin of the Champions League (Feat. Mike Ryan Ruiz)
On this bonus episode of GoalLess… we recap the biggest news from the weekend, talk about the Champions League “drop zone” - how much trouble are PSG and Real Madrid in? Plus, some best bets from Mike Ryan Ruiz, and the incredible story of Junior Santos. Tap in!
Thu, December 05, 2024
Shorts High and Tight, Mustaches Low and Loose (Feat. John Oliver)
On this episode of GoalLess... David Silva, Dunkirk, and Nut Shots. And that’s just in the first 7 minutes! We hung with John Oliver for an hour of fun to talk Accrington Stanley (who are they?!?), Bruno Fernandes, Virgil Van Dyke’s love of The Lion King, and plenty more.
Tue, December 03, 2024
BONUS EPISODE: Tantric at Best (Feat. Daniel Howard)
On this bonus episode of GoalLess… Russell’s brother Daniel joins us right after attending Liverpool - Real Madrid. Plus, we recap the weekend in Europe, and find out who Russell made friends with down under.
Thu, November 28, 2024
GoalLess Thanksgiving Feast (Feat. Rory Scovel, Jamie Carragher, Gareth Reynolds)
Happy Thanksgiving from GoalLess to you! Take a listen to some of our favorite guests and moments from the first 20 episodes.
Mon, November 25, 2024
BONUS EPISODE: Teutonic Care Bear (Feat. Peter Moore)
On this bonus episode of GoalLess... we're back from the international break with a big weekend of news to go over and a great week of champions league to look ahead to. Peter Moore stops by to talk about his time as Liverpool CEO, Klopp hugs, and the Santa Barbara Sky. Plus, a chance to make some money with Mike Ryan Ruiz's best bets.
Thu, November 21, 2024
Getting Baptized by Alisson (Feat. Will Arnett)
On this episode of GoalLess… the host of SmartLess, and our boss, Will Arnett joins the show to discuss his passion football. The guys talk about Liverpool, Canada, swimming pool baptisms, sing some songs, and plenty more.
Mon, November 18, 2024
BONUS EPISODE: Death by Champagne (Feat. Nigel Reo-Coker)
On this bonus episode of GoalLess… The 2026 World Cup is turning into a Star Spangled Entertainment Spectacular. Plus, CBS Sports analyst and former Premier League player Nigel Reo-Coker joins us to talk Aston Villa, the new generation of footballers, and England’s prospects with Thomas Tuchel in charge.
Thu, November 14, 2024
Psychopathic Chickens (Feat. John Shin)
On this episode of GoalLess… Russell and Witty dive into the David Coote scandal, Gary Lineker leaving Match of the Day, and play a game with some hilarious Brazilian names. Plus, John Shin joins us to talk about Ruben Amorim, Manchester United, Victor Gyokeres, and, obviously, John Denver.
Mon, November 11, 2024
BONUS EPISODE: Nice That He Likes Milner (Feat. Maurice Edu)
On this episode of GoalLess… Witty and Russell take a trip down memory lane with some super slip-ups. Mo Edu joins to talk about the USMNT, Champions League, and Inter Miami's shock playoff elimination. Plus, Mike Ryan Ruiz basks in the glory of his winning superdogs.
Thu, November 07, 2024
The Hero of San Siro (Feat. Jamie Carragher)
On this episode of GoalLess… Russell and Witty are joined by former Liverpool great (and current Paramount+ great) Jamie Carragher. Plus, we dive into all of this week’s champions league action, including a couple of losses for European GIANTS and some strange referee moments.
Mon, November 04, 2024
BONUS EPISODE: I Want to Hang Out with Drunk Jurgen
On this bonus episode of GoalLess… Maradona vs Grealish, our weekend recap, fantasy friendball, and Mike Ryan’s best bets.
Thu, October 31, 2024
America’s Got Mourinho’s (Feat. Rory Scovel)
On this episode of GoalLess… Erik ten Hag, Jose Mourinho, Antonio Conte and uhhh, Rudy Giuliani? Plus, we’re joined by comedian Rory Scovel to talk about his college soccer career, pump up speeches, and just how far soccer has come in America.
Mon, October 28, 2024
BONUS EPISODE: A Proper West County English Urchin
On this bonus episode of GoalLess… Witty brings the heat with a diss track for Erik ten Hag, recaps the biggest games of the weekend, and Russell presents his 3 favorite all-time heckles!
Thu, October 24, 2024
Antonio Rudiger Could Knock Out a Bull (Feat. Joe Mande)
On this episode of GoalLess… a wild week of Champions League including an incredible game between Real Madrid and Dortmund. Emmy Award winner Joe Mande joins us, plus a goalkeeper boo’d at Anfield, and… pain pigs? All that and more. Tap in!
Mon, October 21, 2024
BONUS EPISODE: Light A Candle For Retegui (Feat. Mike Ryan Ruiz)
On this bonus episode of GoalLess… The Champions League is back after a 3 week hiatus, Russell and Witty turn on the trade machine, and Mike Ryan Ruiz stops by to give his best bets of the week.
Fri, October 18, 2024
If You Force Me To Linger, I'll Eat A Pork Finger
On this episode of GoalLess… Waiting sausages, The US and England have new managers in Mauricio Pochettino and Thomas Tuchel, VAR, and our favorite all time celebrations.
Mon, October 14, 2024
Bonus Episode: The Dutch Are So Liberal, Aren't They? (Feat. Aly Trost Martin)
On this bonus episode of GoalLess...Russell and Witty go head to head sorting unusual player names from European beers and Witty assesses the Champions League so far with the lovely Aly Trost Martin from The Golazo Network.
Thu, October 10, 2024
They’re Tickling My Tchaikovsky
On this episode of GoalLess… Jurgen Klopp has a new job, a stunning double handball, a new addition to announcing teams, great moments in commentating history, and we solve the too many games issue.
Mon, October 07, 2024
Bonus Episode: Hammer and Tongs
On this bonus episode of GoalLess... A (very) sad Celtic fan, Mike Ryan's best bets, soccersplain part II, and much more
Thu, October 03, 2024
The Aura (feat. Gareth Reynolds)
On today’s GoalLess… All the news from a busy Champions League week, Aston Villa fan Gareth Reynolds joins to talk about their historic win over Bayern Munich, Russell explores the similarities between Canadian soccer fans and drug users, Celtic needs to learn how to parallel park, Arne Slot’s perfectly Dutch answer, a WILD miss, and much much more.
Mon, September 30, 2024
Bonus Episode: The Corridor of Uncertainty
On this bonus episode of GoalLess… Russell teaches us some Britishisms, Witty takes us through the biggest games of the weekend, and we look ahead to the biggest games of the week with Mike Ryan Ruiz. Plus, Russell has recognized a new trait in Pep Guardiola.
Thu, September 26, 2024
Lord Panic (feat. Sam Lee)
On this episode of GoalLess… The Man City - Arsenal rivalry, Rodri’s injury, a barefoot Matthew McConaughey, and Sam Lee from The Athletic joins.
Mon, September 23, 2024
Bonus Episode: The Biggest Tie of the Season
On this episode of GoalLess... The huge Manchester City - Arsenal game, Milan Derby, and Bayern stays hot. Plus Mike Ryan Ruiz joins us to talk about Pochettino, Pulisic, and his love of boring soccer.
Fri, September 20, 2024
GoalLess Champions League Debut
The Champions League is back!!! In the inaugural week of both GoalLess and the 2024-25 Champions League season, Russell and Witty bounce around Europe, talk pathetic injuries, Joachim Low’s smelly fingers, the Man City trial, and plenty more!
Trailer · Sun, September 15, 2024
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham is a podcast that highlights the passion, personalities, and pitch drama that make soccer beautiful ... and hilarious. Each week, the hosts kick around the biggest stories from The Champions League, featuring analysis, laughs, and great guests. What's the goal? You tell us! Brought to you by SmartLess Media, Meadowlark, with Paramount+
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