Last week we talked about Managing Disappointment. This is a super important skill to cultivate in your career and life. Because we all face ups and downs. And it’s how we manage the downs that make the difference between staying hopeful and possibility oriented or sinking into disbelief and low self-confidence.   

If you haven’t listened to episode 27 on Managing Disappointment, you might want to give that a listen first. In that, we share that the key to managing disappointment is to shift your focus from the disappointment to a learning experience. And we offer some ways to do that. It’s worth a listen because if there’s one thing a career is chock full of, it’s opportunities to manage disappointment.

And I thought an important follow-on to last week’s episode was to discuss Resilience, which is a fancy way of saying being great at bouncing back.

So, let’s dive in.

In the simplest of terms, Resilience is the ability to overcome negative events. According to a study at Ohio State University, more than 80% of us believe we have high levels of emotional and mental resilience, but when tested, less than 60% of us score high for resilience.

After the year we’ve all had with Covid, people getting sick and dying, all of us getting thrown into remote work, some of us losing our jobs, children out of school, parents in the role of teacher, all of us feeling isolated from family, friends, and social situations. Well, it’s been a little much, right?  

And while the world is still facing the headwinds of the virus, we’re starting to get back to the business of life.  We’re returning to work. Kids are returning to the classrooms. People out of work are finding jobs. It’s great to see.

The world is bouncing back.

So, have you stopped to think about how well you managed through Covid and its aftermath?

Or think about other things – big and small – that have happened in your career or life. How well do you bounce back? Does it take you awhile? Do you stay stuck in defeat and disappointment, or do you spring back in short order?

Many of us believe that people are either resilient or we’re not. But that’s not true. 

Resilience isn’t something we’re born with. It’s something we cultivate. Something we can build. 

So let’s look at what’s underneath resilience.

Resilient people are good at regulating their emotions and staying calm under pressure. This helps to keep their head clear which leads to better problem-solving. 

So how do you get good at regulating your emotions? 

By mastering the art of self-control. This means, the ability to manage impulses, emotions, and behaviors so they work to your advantage vs. hold you back.

As humans, our ability to do that is found in the pre-frontal cortex. This is the part of the brain that’s highly developed in humans. It lets people plan and evaluate vs. just respond to impulse (which is caused by the Reptilian Brain.

Self-control is about taking power over your own actions and learning to ignore the urges or immediate impulses to just react. No matter how powerful they might be. 

This self-control gives you the ability to direct your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors toward your desired outcome vs. just responding impulsively in a way that might make you feel better in the short-term, but which might lead to outcomes you don’t want.

Our career (and our live for that matter) is full of opportunities to exercise our self-control and will power.

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