Today I want to talk about something that I believe we can all relate to whether it’s in our career or life. And that’s Doing Something We Later Regret. And specifically, today we’re going to talk about how to AVOID that going forward.

So first, can you relate to this? 

I know I CERTAINLY can.

Most everyone can.

I mean, there are so many ways this can come up for us in our career and in our personal lives too. 

First, we live in an intaworld right now.  

So, there’s this expectation that if we send out an email or IM with a question or a request that we’re going to get an INSTANT response. 

And many times, there’s an expectation that this is a 24 x 7 thing. Either we have that expectation for ourselves or maybe we have a boss or colleagues that expect it. So, evenings, middle of the night, weekends. Maybe we’re always on. 

So, in this case, all it takes is an email that hits us wrong when we’re tired or even worse, maybe out with friends…maybe we’ve had a cocktail or two and suddenly BOOM! we’re throwing caution to the wind and dashing off an email that might reflect what we feel in that specific moment but may not be the BEST thing we could do for our career or relationship.  

Or maybe you’re someone that HIDES what you’re really thinking or feeling. You keep things to yourself and so you simmer and stew and ruminate about it instead of finding a way to raise the issue at the right time and place or in the best, most constructive way. 

You can only do this for so long until eventually, all those bottled-up thoughts and emotions are going to come exploding out – usually at a less than ideal time or in a way that doesn’t serve you. 

Or maybe you’re someone who’s very in-the-moment. 

So, you express every thought and feeling you have in the moment you have it – because it makes you feel better. Instead of considering the best way to express yourself or raise the issue. 

That sets you up for feeling regret later because once things are said they can’t be unsaid. They might be forgiven or not…but they can’t be taken back.

And there are so many other ways this might come up for us. In our career. In our life. In our relationships. Whatever.

But what I want to do now is focus on what all these things have in common. 

Because whether you shoot off an in-the-moment response, bottle things up until you explode or express every thought you have in the moment you have it, they all have ONE thing in common.

And that is it’s about how our human brain works.

Because when we do things we regret, it’s about brain science. Not personal flaws.

And that’s why I wanted to talk about this today. 

Because so many times, we really DO think we have a fatal flaw. That there’s just something wrong with us. That we can’t HELP ourselves. That have a fiery temper. Or we’re just an impatient person. Or we’re just direct. Or confrontational. Or whatever.

But what I want to tell you is that while those may very well be patterns that you HAVE. They are not WHO YOU ARE.

They are patterns of behavior that you have because of programmed patterns of thought that have developed over time. If you want to know more about this, check out episode 25 on Thought Pathways. That’s where we go deep on how our brain works in terms of recurring patterns of thought.

For more, give the episode a listen.

Do you have a question you'd like to have addressed on the podcast? Want to give us some feedback or suggestions? Click here to send us a text.

Follow us on Instagram @thepurposefulcareer.
Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.